We Want A Podcast

Remember THE REAL OC OF ORANGE COUNTY?  Did you watch EVERWOOD or JOAN OF ARCADIA?  Are you excited about the end of SUPERNATURAL?  Did you listen to HELLO FROM THE MAGIC TAVERN this week? Welcome to THE OC bit** So in this one we talk about a lot of stuff.  It's hard to keep track.  Up in this one we've got Jason Derulo doing his thing, thanks J! Brought to you by Cici's Pizza

Ay, you gotta ride this one out cuz right there are the end we tell some TRUE OLD ROCK 'N' ROLL STORIES about megastars like FOREIGNER, BAD COMPANY, STYXX and SUN COUNTRY   Up in this one we   DIAGNOSE our ailments and DIVINE their hidden prophecies DISCOVER the movie City Wives and Nollywood at large. DEFINE the word "spendthrift" incorrectly DECIDE how to pronounce words like "turmeric" "timbre" and "cinnamon" DIGEST the cookies DETHRONE Coupon King, The King of All Coupons   Oh yeah, and shout out to our new favorite ghost in the machine Metal_Treasure

AY FAM, WELCOME TO EPISODE SIXTY-NINNNNNNE!   We're getting straight alchemical up in this one.  We do a little soft synthesis with Camel Audio and their magical music machine ALCHEMY. Afterward we find ourselves in the thick of some heavy sauce talk, DOUGHBOYS style.   This episode was recorded In Loving Memory of all the homies we lost to those software poachers at the Apple Corporation.   "MUSTARD, THE CHAMPAGNE OF SAUCE"   ALT. TITLE: "Mr. Puzzles vs Pig-Saw"

The big message up in this one?  You gotta stay wet.   We also talk about that great movie Neverending Sunlight of the Brain, and that other movie Lawnmower Guy and PIRATES 4D ALSO:  Tiger Jizz vs Whale Vomit

UPON THIS BIKINI PARADE:   "LIKE SEA MONKEYS ON LAND"   SKIPPING WINTER   "OMG I ATE AN ARMADILLO"   "MURDER IS MESSY"   LEPROSY   "THAT'S A HOT DOG CURSE FOR YA"   THE DOG STAR (BIG DOG GALAXY)   DINGO PEOPLE   UNLOCKS & ACHIEVEMENTS    

up in this one:  candle waxification - what would u do - superbity test - do not miss your chance to blow - thicc fiction - baby godizilla - im the kahleesi now - secret house - heat scraper - you are invited by the dismemberment plan - opening cans from across the room - dreamwalking - young plastic man - bogus superpower - very charming - all the fast cas hotties & restaurant girls   in closing: books is good it make you smart. AND u gotta become bruce wayne before you become batman

Soo, I think we cut out the stuff about the Talent Show Incident and Advice Dog but the stuff we left is some Grade A primo genuine merchandise, y'know? Up in this one we're talking Muscle Men and Murder Dads, Breastplate Decorations, and TEXTS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE Later on we crack open the old Vampires v Werewolves v Hybrid debate, and redefine the terms "nest cam" and "birds-eye view"    PS - I know.

Up this one we've got a Little Skinny Quiz Show on our hands.  Not to mention:  HEMA Alliance tournament updates, different kinds of rocks and dogs and even an official DippinDots alert!   Also: this one we didn't edit, sooo ...

We're honing our social skills up in this one.  We hold a practice session by the carrot station, and then debrief later in the locker room. Polite topics of conversation:  Unwieldy Swatting Stick - Duel Citizenship - Scheduled Sneezes with Friends - Wombat Home Protection   QUOTE: "Here's looking at you, idiot." ALT. TITLE: Flyswatter SPONSOR:  Willert Home Products Inc. 

Up in this one we're talking about the Doppler effect, the doppelganger effect, and the guillotine effect. We talk with Bleeding Gums Murphy, explore another reality, and generate a few lackluster NPCs for FREE. This episode brought to you in part by our out-of-court settlement with Adam Ruins Everything. Thanks Adam!

We really try to do a good job up in this one.   Brought to you by Mr. Big

Up in this one we discuss nasal sound effects, and take a look at the world from a mic's POV.  We talk about moms, Tamagotchi, and Woody the puppet that came alife.  Later we learn about the different kinds of fun stuff you could do with a bazillion pit vipers.   ALT. TITLES: Code For Girls, My Volleyball Companion

Clock is ticking, y'all.  Mothers' Day is in two days.  Anyway, up in this one:    making lines - radio free Cleveland Heights - national fads through the ages - river city dirtbags - a pack as big as the world - dance marathons - fandango - tarantula juice - Roblox murder mystery - and so much more

Howdy partner.  Here's a couple'a quotes from this week's episode: "hey shark, your mom is bad at sex and just like crazy horny" "i didn't even know we were fucking with kazillionaires" "gingerhead brouse"   Up in this one we meet Bigu the Dolphin, and we experience a highly localized gas leak around Sinus Maximus.  We revisit Ranker.com.   ALTERNATE TITLES: Reverse Medusa, GET OVER HERE    

Passover?  More like Pass the Dutchie over.  We're passing over, under, and upward in this one, and puzzling over some coldstone stumpers while we're at it.   FEATURING:  cardi b  .  money talk  .  Moses has cameo in New Testament production My Dinner With Jesus  .  weed

ONE THIS IN UP:  Game of Thrones - Game of Golf - Sex Facts - VOLCANOES

Zack Hacker, author of CUT REALITY drops by this week to discuss the true meaning of life.  Unfortunately, due to some strange technical difficulties we didn't actually get that part on record.  Instead what we got was ... kind of hard to describe really.  You should probably just listen to it.   UP IN THIS ONE: Wasteland Radio, Bone Men, The Insane Clown Posse, Imaginary Cooking Advise from The Shakespeare of The Sand Sea + JET SKIS II   This episode brought to you by Cotton, the fabric of lost lives.

So, you and your invisible friend have been cheating to win at tabletop sports and drinking games all night.  That's so crazy man.   Up in this one we meet a real science man - and a doctor no less.  We go to the Wonder Hole and explore some transgressive lidplay.   And all of this on the radio that hasn't been invented yet.    

We've got the AVENGERS: ENDGAME folks swooping by:  Hawkeye - Hawk Guy - Hawkman - Falcon - Nightwing - and all the other weird birdsmen.  We squawk about sexy bird facts, and the sexy dinosaur facts that preceded them (evolutionarily speaking).   Alt titles:  Spy Kids: Where Are They Now?  Happy Birthday Today

What's in a number?  That which we call a bunch By any other integer would equal as much Right?  No?  Ok, sorry. Anyway, this was our fiftieth episode.  We didn't actually realize that until after we'd finished recording, so we didn't like make a big deal out of it or anything.  You could say we're playing it cool.   UP IN THIS EPISODE: Big Weird Sounds From Creepy Little Animals!  Why Did The Chicken Cross Your Mind?  Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice Vanilla Ice Edition, Welcome to the Murder Farm

The Mailman set out with a fresh episode for about the one hundredth time.   He packed this week's episode in a faux suede clutch to protect it from the oncoming torrent.  By the time he reached the RSS receptacle the storm would already be upon him.   Thunder rolled again in the distance.  It began to rain.   UP IN THIS ONE:  SPACE CASES, zastruga, Things We're Glad to Know, Pleasure Doing Business With You, Benis Forever (SFX WARNING: light cop car sirening)   This week's sponsor:  COOFANDY

The Mailman was tired.  Ever since noticing the storm gathering out on the horizon he'd been having trouble sleeping.  Troubling dreams.  His back had been stiff for days now, and his every movement came slowly and with some dull ache.   He watched the stormfront grow nearer ever day.  By his estimation it would be another four weeks or so before it hit.  A month or so to prepare.   Knowing that hadn't made falling asleep any easier.   UP IN THIS ONE:  We ID Kyle Chandler was the one from Friday Night Lights, and Paul Rugg as the voice of Dexter Douglas (aka Freakazoid).  We rank the top one hundred most fuckable fictional felines.  Then we top it off with a little ghostplay at the end, just like you like it.

There were rumblings off to the north all along the long walk home.   As he marched, The Mailman recounted the many storms he'd seen so far this year.   "It'll be Fifty soon," The Mailman murmured, adding them up.   UP IN THIS EPISODE: Stand-Up Comedy Clinic - Microwaves - LSD - JEEP - #JEEPHer - Straight white men & old ladies - The Mean List - Underwater Facts

The Mailman turned away from the RSS receptacle and considered his options.   He knew that by now the next episode would already be set out, ready and awaiting delivery back on the home page.  He didn't have much time.   The Mailman stared back down the long, hard road home and sighed.  Adjusting his chin strap, he started walking.   UP IN THIS EPISODE:  Insectoid Genital Clamps, Ancient Dragon Flies, Nintendofan126 and their opinions RE: actual Bugs Bunny quotations, the Arc de Triomphe, Champs-Elysées Street Sharks, Cowboys of Moo Mesa, and The 1991 Kid Cuisine Mega Meal Posse  

The wait is over.  The fog lifts, the shadows part, and The Mailman approaches the RSS feed with an especially late delivery.   "Sorry to be tardy to the party, Marty."   The Mailman releases the podcast episode and watches it disappear down the chute.  The lid swings closed.   UP IN THIS ONE WE"VE GOT:  Problematic (Heteronormative) Arcane Traditions - "You know how brooms are" (and other Cleaning Supply related content) - Eating Leftovers in Ecuador - Wedding Cake for Breakfast

We get into several heated debates up in this one:  Red Guy vs Batman - Best Zero G Edibles - Teleportation v. Flight - the list goes on and on.   We take a look back at that one time in that one Zelda game when Link tried to buy a gun.  That was so crazy.  We also briefly touch on (the subject of) dolphin dicks, hence our amazing album artwork for this week, which was provided by Tim Morris.  Meow!

Here we are again, dancing at The Dawn of All Creation, encircled by the meandering tracks of the Giant Sand Turtle.  Hold on to your teleprompter cuz we're talking FOX News, emos and haterism.  Riddles, crunch culture in the video games industry, copypasta and other young adult cultural artifacts.  We cover the full spectrum of temperatures up in this one: from The Winter Warlock and Winterbolt all the way to that fire that burns in the minds of men.   Alt title: Kids These Days

We're snowed up in this one, but you know what they say: You've gotta take life one ruined bottle of orange juice at a time.   This week we're talking about horny ornithologists and learning about superstitions from the English Channel to the Far East.  We also have a frank and open conversation about mirrors vs eyeballs.  Oh, and we discover a rogue AI randomly generating some Google reviews / copypasta    Want to know who wore it better in Red Dead Redemption 2 ?  Tune in and like skip forward to that part then I guess   jeez

Hello and welcome to CHAPTER TWO of our first foray into this new year.  Recorded in a new room full of strange and fantastic beasts, we cover topics like Mythology - Etymology - Entomology - and the Talking Heads of course.   Up in this one we learn about how Belize is basically the leg of a skate ramp, what it's like Riding in Cars with Cher   Finally we tackle that age-old question:  What is a man, but a thousand little bridges made of ants?

Okay, so this episode is about 5 days late, BUT we're publishing CHAPTER TWO of this episode 2 days EARLY.  Now, 5 + 2 = 7, which is how many days there are in a week, so ... mathematically we're even, y'know?   Anyway, this is the first recording of the New Year, and we're recording in a brand new room.  Up in this one we're talking about shoes mostly.  Later on we discuss the 13 movies that were shot in Hampton Roads, and where Tommy Cruise be buying his groceries at.   The screams were amazing.

Right off the bat we're confronting our shortcomings and yanking pages out the calendar with wild abandon.  Up in this one we're making stops around the block and across the sea.  New Orleans - Atlanta - NYC - Kennett Square, PA - Hampton Roads, VA - Romania - Ecuador - Italy.  The list goes on and on.  Later on we take a trip through time (!!!)  Finally we take a look at some troubling trombone noises, some challenging song lyrics and some problematic children's toys See ya next year fam!

In this episode we enter a brave new partnership, and make some important discoveries regarding how it be when you high.  We're talking liquidity, legality, and what to do when you find yourself lost abroad.  Don't know the way to Jingle Bell Square?  Well, up in this one you about to find out how to celebrate yourself back home, daddy.   Some of our destinations this week include the Mrs. Doubtfire House, the Full House house, and many other crooked-ass earthquake-unsafe attractions to be found in and around the San Francisco Bay Area.  Oh, and we do stunt our way over West Africa for a hot second as well.

Urrybody got they mic high up in this one, y'know? In this episode we're getting right back to business and up to our old tricks.  You know the routine.  Really though, we're on a long monotonous slog through what known sugar-coaters are calling "the season of holidays," -- and we don't get to stop until NEXT YEAR.  Can you believe that? Along the way we're discussing things like Dolly Parton, Rugrats, and other "now" cultural touchstones.  We talk a lot about getting purple-faced fucked up and how to truly "embrace the vine." This week's secret word:  THICCC This week's alternate title:  We Three Gentiles

So, up in this one Keanu Reeves rescues Saint Nikolai from a Turkish prison, and that’s pretty much all y’all need to know. Obviously, urrybody want to know what they liege is up to, so up in this on -- WE INTERRUPT THIS SYNOPSIS WITH A SPECIAL ALERT: THE OG ALBUM ART WAS BANNED! DEEMED TOO EXPLICIT BY INTERNET Secret word this week: Hottt

We've got some big guests climbing up in this one y'all.  We are joined this week by travel writer, memoirist and Crocodile slanderer Johnny Man-Devil.  Later on Thomas F. Byrnes, an Irish-American police interrogator and author drops in with some great Dad Jokes.  We even get a visit from The Marquis of Waterford and de Sade.  That's two Marquis!  Plus a disobedient half-blind Naval officer and combat prankster!   Our quiz music this week is an amazing song called "Opposite People (Fela Kuti)" by Newen Afrobeat feat. Seun Kuti, Cheick Tidiane Seck, and the track is literally on fire, plz call for help.   (This episode was very nearly called "Fresh Ass Baby Bear")

Here are some of the tabs we had open up in this one:  Clarified Butter, Mormon Guy, Map of Africa.  Oh, and you know we're always trawling TheTopTens.com for what's hot and what's not really that hot. In this episode we discuss what sponsors would "be sick" to have, and then we make some weather predictions.  Later on we talk about what's really going on underneath Abe Lincoln's Top Hat (spoiler alert: it's a little dog)   I'd say we owe about $1.20 for this one all told.

We're getting downright literary this week, folks.  Up in this one it's all about plumage:  we're talking about our fine feathered friends The Simurgh, The Peryton, The Bluebird of Happiness, and the Chonchon.  Andrea finally reveals her nom de plume:  Calamity Boy.     That's right gang, we're talking about the ornithology of the mind.  Robo Birds, Jurassic Park Rangers, and highly specialized forms of reincarnated Atlantians.   Finally we are joined by a dirty-handed Chilean wizard who drops by to discuss the softest and bottom-most part of the butt.  For real fun for the whole fam.

Oh we sorry up in this one. Still your wandering ears upon this explicit content. We’re talking about Real Life Super Powers like Tummo, Das Uber Boy and our friend Corey who used to eat metal a lot.   Our Sponsor this week: Ponderosa Steak House — “where you can ponder about what kind of slice of meat you want.” - Ben.

Yes, it's one more time around the old crypt before we close the gates until next year.  We've got Red Dead Redemption 2 loading in the background, and Jack Frost nipping at out heels. Up in this one we finally implement the sage advice Nick Kroll once gave Pete Holmes regarding acceptable podcast duration, and we get it tight and trim.  We are reminded where the magic lies (in our hearts), and talk about all sorts of different witches and whatnot. MAJOR arcana y'all.  RIP Pumpkin King

Gather close dear listeners, and ready your bones for another overnight chill.  Up in this one we've got a few new submissions for the approval of the Midnight Society.  We're talking Bad Brains, Star Jelly, Ghost Towns, and True Life Hollywood Horror Stories. As far as guest stars go we've got Ryu from Street Fighter, Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam, and Bad Bad Leroy Brown from the south side of Chicago.  Star studded!

Everybody huddle up, it's time for More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.  We're chilling bones up in this one, chattering about such classic fear objects as spiders, darkness, water, and so forth.  Oh, and you know that the Ouijia went and got up in the mix.   Some things that got cut out of this one:  Terrace House burger date, Complete Caveman Exterminator Reversion Syndrome (cockroach attacks), Space Ghost Coast to Coast, etc.   2 more spooky episodes to go this season, friends!

pretty spooky stuff up in this one y'all, so listen w/ a friend.   alt title:  An Introduction to Spectral Mechanics.

Let's see, what'd we talk about up in this one?  Definitely talked about the volatile organic compounds that create the flavors we experience when eating fruits and vegetables.  We talked about air stink (then and now), and Cher, and Madonna.  We talk about how Bill & Ted might approach the whole Kill Hitler scenario, and we learn about cheerleading.  We turn Kid in King Arthur's Court into a way of life.  Oh, and we finally pin down where Chad at.

To celebrate their landmark 20th season premier we pay homage to Law & Order: SVU up in this one.  This is the second installment of the Law and Order: DnD homebrew police procedural campaign right here fam

Soo, up in this one we're playing Dungeons & Dragons again for the ... second time?  Third time?  Something like that.  Anyway, we're playing a stripped-down homebrew version of 5e D&D wherein our players take on the roles of young investigators working on their first big case.  Listen along as they unravel this MAGICAL WHODUNNIT.   Good luck to you, Gumshoe!

We have foregone the usual musical stingers and fun sound effects with this episode and we're bringing it to you raw and real.  Instead we've got recordings of other people.  People who can pronounce some of the strange non-English words we're discussing up in this one.  That's right, this week we're talking about words we don't have in our language; words from places we're unfamiliar with, that describe concepts we are familiar with.  We also brush up on our African geography, talk about how kites are made, and invent some new words of our own.  All in all it's a fine time.  Totally enriching   Alt. titles: Cock-a-doodle-boosh French Stuff

After scouring the internet we have still found no copy of the audio from "Are We There Yet?: Songs for Tiny Travelers” by the Muppets.  It was a Jim Henson joint from way back in ’89 and it’s just, like, gone.   Up in this one we highlight some small businesses on the tiny, isolated, cedar-shingled island paradise we call Nantucket.  We’re talkin’ TUCK LIFE, we’re talking about THE HUB, we’re talking about HY-LINE CRUISES and we’re talking’ about MIACOMET GOLF COURSE.  That’s right, y’all.  We’re talking Whale Blood/Juice Blends, Kenny Fisher quotes, and the origins of our fox chant.   Oh, and we invent a new kind of cider.

Happy Labor Day weekend, y'all!  Time to put on our polyester pants and burn some food outside together.  One last chance to relax before we have to pack away our propane tanks and white shoes until next summer.   Up in this one we talk about Gilmore Girls, and recall some of our most cherished summertime memories.  Later on things get HIGHLY EROTIC Other alternate titles: Whole Lotta Gnar Tubing All The Time All My Dudes Why Not Eat A Guinea Pig? Also Salty

Up in this one we discuss the Dano-Norwegian concept of Hygge with Friend Of The Show Emily Hammerberg. Joining us on this adventure are a couple of Average American Teenagers.  You know the type; always watching old episodes of Cheers, talking about how great Dean Martin was, flossing disrespectfully at passers-by.  Teenager stuff.   Later on, we debate the efficiency of a dog-based quantification system for air temperature, but we forget to check the indexes.   Cut your neck off, cake baby.

Hey, we're hitting those double-double digits with this one, and you know what that means: time to check a couple boxes off on our List of Discoveries.  Oh, and let's not forget that it's Hot Ball pre-season y'all, and Mr. Steal Your Grill has been sighted around the neighborhood.   Up in this one we talk about Cheer AGAIN, and demonstrate the Show Don't Tell approach re: stupidity/sweetness.  We talk about Katrina Johnson's Ross Perrot, reference Gen-13, and give thanks to Michael Schenk for incepting our daily bread.   Proselytization or prostitution?  You decide!

The Krakken awakes and awaits you beneath.  Say "Elder Scrolls" out loud to yourself in a baby voice.  Consider the French lycanthrope potion if you get hungry.   Up in this one we talk Mario and his whole thing.  We also talk about Oblivion and Skyrim and ESO: Enriching Southern Optimizations Edition.  Later we learn about drug-addled jungle-prowling murdercats.  Later on we try again in front of a live studio audience, meet a troll wearing clothes who left its BDE at home.   Oh and you know we bringing the thunderstorm baby