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2 episodes with Secret Affair
5 episodes with Secret Affair
2 episodes with Secret Affair
2 episodes with Secret Affair
3 episodes with Secret Affair
2 episodes with Secret Affair
3 episodes with Secret Affair
3 episodes with Secret Affair
2 episodes with Secret Affair
This episode delves into the captivating and scandalous case of Madeline Smith, a young woman in 1850s Glasgow whose secret love affair with Pierre Emile L'Angelier ended in a mysterious arsenic poisoning. As we explore the social expectations and legal complexities of Victorian Scotland, we uncover how Madeline navigated a world that restricted her choices. The subsequent trial, filled with sensational letters and a controversial 'not proven' verdict, left a lasting impact on her life and society's perception. This case remains a poignant tale about forbidden love, societal pressures, and the enduring mystery surrounding its unresolved questions.00:00 Introduction to the Victorian Scandal00:40 Setting the Scene: 1850s Glasgow01:08 Madeline's Secret Affair with Pierre Emile Langeleur01:55 The Love Triangle and Rising Tensions02:38 The Tragic Death of Langeleur02:54 The Sensational Trial04:40 The Verdict: Not Proven05:15 Life After the Scandal06:16 Madeline Smith's Legacy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Matt gets the studio to himself this week and goes all out with some garage, mod, soul and britpop bangers.There are tracks from The Jam, The Stone Roses, Small Faces, Secret Affair and Max Romeo plus a fab instrumental from Brisbane legends The Far Outs.For more info and tracklisting, visit: https://thefaceradio.com/blow-up/Tune into new broadcasts of Blow-Up! Sundays from 8 - 10 AM EST / 1 PM - 3 PM GMT, in association with Brisbane's 4ZZZ.//Dig this show? Please consider supporting The Face Radio: http://support.thefaceradio.com Support The Face Radio with PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/thefaceradio. Join the family at https://plus.acast.com/s/thefaceradio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Queen City Confessions Monday 08/05/24
Carl Lentz was the face of Hillsong, a global mega-church, and was the A-List pastor of choice for celebs such as Justin Bieber, Chris Pratt, Bono, Nick Jonas, and power siblings Kendall and Kylie Jenner. But Lentz's larger-than-life persona and good looks, preaching about family and honesty, was nothing more than a facade. Beneath it lay a sordid web of adultery and lies that brought everything tumbling down when his mistress, New York City jewelry designer Ranin Karim, revealed Lentz's dirty little secrets to the world. Lentz was where the cracks started, but eventually, we see the shocking realities of this global megachurch's descent into scandal all the way to the top of the chain of command. Today, we bring you the woman at the center of this shocking scandal, as Ranin opens up on our show to set the record straight about her role in this controversy and discusses the never-before-heard details of her secret affair with Carl Lentz. (Encore episode). --- --- --- HOLISTIC GODDESS Holistic Goddess is a sanctuary for those seeking holistic health solutions. Visit https://holisticgoddess.com/?ref=crvifyla and use the code 'Understood' for 15% off site-wide, no limit of use, and applies to subscriptions and one-time purchases. --- --- --- Follow Rachel on Instagram! RachelUchitelNYC Executive Producer: George Carmona Please like, share, subscribe, and give us a 5-star review! Do you have show ideas, media requests or sponsorship opportunities? Email the show at: ru@missumedia.com Listen on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch every episode on YouTube & Rumble “Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel Podcast” Check out Rachel's Patreon: https://patreon.com/MissUnderstoodwithRachelUchitel?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
SPOILER ALERT! TO BE HOOONNNNEEESSSSTTTT?????? BAGUS TAPI PUSING>?!?>!? TAPI MAU TAHU SAMPAI AKHIR KAYAK GIMANA?!?!?!?!?!?! Sinopsis The Whirlwind Perdana Menteri Korea Selatan, Park Dong Ho, memiliki ambisi terselubung. Ia ingin menyingkirkan presiden yang memakan uang rakyat dan berkolusi dengan konglomerat. Lantas, ia membunuh presiden dan mengisi sementara posisi tersebut. Ia memiliki waktu terbatas untuk menyingkirkan 'sampah' politik. Wakil Perdana Menteri Ekonomi, Jung Soo Jin, mencoba menghentikan aksinya. Hal itu memicu persaingan politik yang sengit. Pemain The Whirlwind Bintang drakor The Whirlwind diisi oleh aktor kawakan Korea Selatan, sebut saja Sol Kyung Gu dan Kim Hee Ae. Sol Kyung Gu merupakan aktor kelahiran 1967 yang dikenal lewat perannya di film Hope (2013), Memoir of a Murderer (2017), Kingmaker (2022), dan masih banyak lagi. The Whirlwind menjadi kali pertama Sol Kyung Gu membintangi serial sebagai pemeran utama. Ia memerankan karakter Park Dong Ho di serial The Whirlwind. Peran terpopuler Kim Hee Ae nggak lain adalah Ji Sun Woo di The World of the Married (2020). Drama ini sukses memuncaki daftar drakor dengan rating tertinggi disusul oleh Reborn Rich (2022) dan Queen of Tears (2024). Aktris kelahiran 1967 ini juga terkenal lewat perannya di Secret Affair (2014), How Long I've Kissed (2012), dan lainnya. Di The Whirlwind, Kim Hee Ae berperan sebagai Jung Soo Jin. Rekam jejak keduanya di dunia akting berupa daftar yang panjang. Sol Kyung Gu dominan mengambil proyek film, sementara Kim Hee Ae mayoritas membintangi serial. --- Podcast ngedrakor! dipersembahkan Dalam Ruang Produksi Studios, diproduseri bersama oleh Ron & Mal. Episode baru tayang mingguan! Baca berita drama Korea favoritmu di detikpop.com Follow Instagram kami di @podcastngedrakor #PodcastNgedrakor #ngedrakordidetikcom #ngedrakordispotify
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Torn between loyalty and love, this episode dives into my secret affair with my best friend's girlfriend and the emotional turmoil of forbidden love
What would you do if you found out your best friend was having an affair with your husband? How do you think it would affect your day to day friendships? Jaime Norwood shares her story and how she handled it and also highlights how it impacts her relationships to this day! Also, why is it so hard having church friends? Keep up with Jaime Norwood, The Prayer Pusher, at https://www.jaimebnorwood.com Apple Podcast ➡️ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/between-me-and-you-with-ieshia-danielle/id1736888997 Spotify ➡️ https://open.spotify.com/show/4P3vSPtMLpDU1ERZ17pfVT?si=116fcb98ab8c4fb1 Free Affirmations ➡️ https://www.imieshiadanielle.com/product-page/2024-affirmations "Secure" Merch ➡️ https://www.imieshiadanielle.com/shop We want to hear from you! Leave us a comment below!
Former Prime Minister Harold Wilson's close adviser Bernard Donoughue tells Today about the PM's affair kept secret for half a century and why he's revealing it now.(Photo: Harold Wilson. Credit: Getty Images)
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On March 25, 2009, Sergeant Jimmy Edmunds responded to a robbery call at a house in a quiet suburban neighborhood in Georgia. Edmunds thought he was going to investigate a routine break-in, but inside that house, he discovered the most violent crime scene he'd ever witnessed in his law enforcement career. For the next three days, Edmunds would barely sleep, but he would eventually uncover the truth about what happened in that house. And let's just say the truth was not what anyone expected.For 100s more stories like these, check out our main YouTube channel just called "MrBallen" -- https://www.youtube.com/c/MrBallenIf you want to reach out to me, contact me on Instagram, Twitter or any other major social media platform, my username on all of them is @mrballenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Straight from seeing Bruce Foxton live in Brisbane, Matt & Sammy dig into The Jam back catalogue for couple of stand out tracks. There's also a bit of 60s r&b, some Britpop old and new, mod revival from Secret Affair, classics from Aretha and The Kinks and a fav from Gorillaz.Tune into new broadcasts of Blow-Up, Sunday from 8 - 10 AM EST / 1 PM - 3 PM GMT, in association with Brisbane's 4ZZZ.For more info visit: https://thefaceradio.com/blow-up///Dig this show? Please consider supporting The Face Radio: http://support.thefaceradio.com Support The Face Radio with PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/thefaceradio. Join the family at https://plus.acast.com/s/thefaceradio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“I can't let you in…” The housekeeper was confused - what does the mom mean she can't let me in? “Could you just toss the keys from your balcony?” The mother threw her keys from the balcony and vanished into the house. The housekeeper walked into the house and it was immediately chaos. The mother was hysterical - the father was banging his head on the wall. The mother threw her arms around the housekeeper. She cried and ushered her to a bedroom, “Come, come, inside and see what happened!” Lying in her bed was the family's 13 year old daughter, dead. Her throat slit ear to ear. Her body looked posed and so were her stuffed animals, though they were eerily free of any blood or splatter. This case would become known as the JonBenét Ramsey case of India. Rumors of cheating, black mail, revenge, honor killings, truth serum, grooming and orgies consumed the media but the only thing we know for certain is - whoever her killer or killers are – they are free. Full Source Notes: rottenmangopodcast.com To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Alethea Foster was Lead Clinical Specialist Podiatrist at King's College Hospital NHS Trust between 1985 and 2004, where she was a top class operator in her profession winning numerous awards. But things at home with her retired journalist husband John weren't great: their sex life had stopped 17 years previously and Alethea suspected he might be having an affair with an ex-colleague Julie Simpson. When Alethea stumbled across an email exchange between Julie and John which revealed they had been having an affair she was utterly devastated and emailed Julie to arrange a meeting. But before she left the house, she put a kitchen knife in her bag.... Watch True Crime Podcaster RoundTable on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBgM3uA8DM4z3KecvwieQrg Find out more about the UK True Crime Podcast: https://www.uktruecrime.com Join me at Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/UKTrueCrime Join the UK True Crime Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/UKTrueCrime Buy my book 'Gone Fishing' about serial killer Angus Sinclair: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gone-Fishing-Unsolved-Crimes-Sinclair/dp/1914277201 Sources: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2006/may/05/highereducation.ukcrime https://www.pcdsociety.org/resources/details/obituary-alethea-ali-foster https://www.theguardian.com/education/2006/apr/28/highereducation.uk https://archive.varsity.co.uk/623.pdf http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cambridgeshire/4938988.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cambridgeshire/4942968.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cambridgeshire/4307970.stm https://www.theguardian.com/education/2006/may/05/highereducation.ukcrime https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/obsessed-622945 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/stabbing-wife-not-guilty-of-murder-624062 https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-384891/Wife-blinded-love-rival-sorry.html
It's about time we had a Pretty Basic collab! Today we are joined by Alisha Marie & Remi Cruz, the duo behind Pretty Basic! One on story our writer is seeking help with her sister's affair! In another we're breaking down love languages and how to communicate your needs to your partner. Thanks to our Sponsors: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code ADVICE at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Follow the Podcast on Insta: @UnsolicitedAdvicePod Follow Ashley: @AshNichole Follow Taryne: @TaryneRenee To watch our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/UAPodcastYouTube Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/UnsolicitedAdvicePodcast If you want to support the show, and get all our episodes ad-free go to: https://unsolicitedadvice.supercast.tech If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/UnsolicitedAdvicePodcast To send us your questions/stories, email us at: AdviceUnsolicitedPod@gmail.com To check out our UA MERCH: https://bit.ly/unsolicitedadvicemerchandise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
On today's very special episode of Unsolicited Advice, we are joined by longtime friend Taylor King! Taylor has a podcast called Making Moves, where she breaks down money, dating, and business moves. All while helping you to navigate your 20s like a boss. In today's story, we have a situationship straight out of a romance novel. Thanks to our Sponsors: Need to hire? You need Indeed, Check it out now at https://Indeed.com/UNSOLICITED Follow the Podcast on Insta: @UnsolicitedAdvicePod Follow Ashley: @AshNichole Follow Taryne: @TaryneRenee To watch our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/UAPodcastYouTube Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/UnsolicitedAdvicePodcast If you want to support the show, and get all our episodes ad-free go to: https://unsolicitedadvice.supercast.tech If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/UnsolicitedAdvicePodcast To send us your questions/stories, email us at: AdviceUnsolicitedPod@gmail.com To check out our UA MERCH: https://bit.ly/unsolicitedadvicemerchandise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Look at me... That's what jewelry tells us. Because jewelry is always about gaze... and... feelings! But then, what do you do... when gazes have to remain secret? And feelings, clandestine?... What do you do in the case of a Secret Affair? That's exactly what Prince George, the heir to the English throne, wondered one day in 1785... He who was hopelessly (and scandalously) in love with a beautiful and young widow, Maria-Anne Fitzherbert!That's how the future George IV imagined a piece of jewelry full of passion and mystery! A jewel that was going to launch a devastating fashion trend across the planet... A jewel named: Lover's Eye. The eye... of the lover.Voice of Jewels, a podcast from L'ÉCOLE, School of Jewelry Arts supported by Van Cleef & Arpels. Unveiling the stories and secrets behind History's most fascinating jewels.With Inezita Gay-Eckel, Jewelry Historian and Lecturer at L'ÉCOLE, School of Jewelry Arts and Léonard Pouy, Professor of Art History and Content and Transmission Manager at L'ÉCOLE, School of Jewelry Arts. Written by Martin Quenehen and Aram Kebabdjian, performed by Edoardo Ballerini and produced by Bababam. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Regarde-moi… Voilà ce que nous disent les bijoux. Parce que les bijoux sont toujours affaire de regard et de sentiments ! Mais alors, que faire… quand les regards doivent rester secrets ? Et les sentiments, clandestins ? Que faire dans le cas d'une Secret Affair ? C'est ainsi que le futur Georges IV a imaginé un bijou plein de passion et de mystère ! Un bijou qui allait lancer une mode ravageuse à travers toute la planète… Un bijou nommé : Lover's eye. L'œil de l'amoureux.La Voix des Bijoux, un podcast de L'École des Arts Joailliers, avec le soutien de Van Cleef & Arpels qui vous dévoile les fascinantes histoires et les savoirs secrets que renferment les plus beaux bijoux.Avec la participation de :Inezita Gay-Eckel, Historienne du Bijou et Professeur à L'École des Arts Joailliers.Léonard Pouy, Docteur en Histoire de l'Art et Responsable Contenus et Transmission à L'École des Arts Joailliers.Écrit par Martin Quenehen et Aram Kebabdjian, interprété par Pierre François Garel et produit par Bababam. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.
Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's episode is titled “Secret Affair At the Hotel With You, Sir” Tell me, Sir, are you enjoying me writing my naughty fantasies about you? I know you are playing with your perfect…..Full Story Typed out: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/secret-affair-at-the-hotel-with-you-sir-audio-erotica-story-by-salty-vixen/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen (Audio Erotica Podcast) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-stories/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Story Archive: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-porn/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
T.J. Holmes and Marilee Fiebig reached a divorce settlement this week less than one year after the former Good Morning America star's secret relationship with co-anchor Amy Robach was exposed, RadarOnline.com can confirm.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Tina and Hillary cover former Alabama governor, Robert Bentley. Alabama Governor Robert Bentley, a self-proclaimed champion of family values, upheld his marriage vows for nearly half a century. BUT his time in office took a surprising turn as he used his position to conceal a secret, revealing a stark contrast to his public image. Sources Alabama.com Ex-governor Robert Bentley, Rebekah Mason's exit from First Baptist Tuscaloosa followed scathing sermon, report shows (https://www.al.com/news/2017/04/ex-governor_robert_bentley_reb.html)--by Leada Gore Alabama House Judiciary Committee THE IMPEACHMENT INVESTIGATION OF GOVERNOR ROBERT BENTLEY (https://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/oanow.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/9/c1/9c10fc22-1bd5-11e7-8d6d-53cbf2068460/58e7fef1935de.pdf.pdf) The Atlantic Alabama's 'Luv Guv' Has Resigned (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/04/robert-bentley-resignation/522483/)--by David Graham The Strange Revelation of the Investigation of Alabama's Governor (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/02/the-investigation-of-alabamas-governor/516906/)--by Russell Berman Businiss Council of America Robert Bentley, Governor bio (https://web.archive.org/web/20120318000541/http://www.ciclt.net/sn/pol/po_detail.aspx?MemID=&ClientCode=bcatoday&P_ID=alsw01) CNN ‘Dark day' as Alabama governor cuts plea deal, resigns (https://www.cnn.com/2017/04/10/us/alabama-governor-robert-bentley-meeting/index.html)--by Elliot McLaughlin, Dakin Andone, and Devon M. Sayers Politico Alabama governor resigns, pleads guilty to misdemeanors (https://www.politico.com/story/2017/04/robert-bentley-alabama-governor-to-resign-237079)--by Associated Press NPR Alabama's Governor Resigns Amid Scandal Over Alleged Affair And Cover-Up (https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/10/523328717/alabamas-governor-resigns-amid-scandal-over-affair-and-cover-up)--by Camila Domonoske USA Today Robert Bentley resigns as Alabama governor; lieutenant governor replaces him (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/10/alabama-governor-robert-bentley-impeachment/100295108/)--by Brian Lyman and Andrew Yawn Wikipedia Robert J. Bentley (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_J._Bentley) Photos Governor Robert Bentley (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/65/Robert_Bentley.jpg/800px-Robert_Bentley.jpg)--photo by Sutherland Boswell via Wikipedia (CC BY-SA 3.0) Governor Bentley's Mug Shot (https://www.politico.com/dims4/default/661ab3f/2147483647/strip/true/crop/924x925+0+0/resize/1260x1262!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.politico.com%2F4c%2F52%2Ffb58b8e84df18f0119cdbc4ff86b%2F170410-bentley-ap-1160.jpg)--from Montgomery County Sheriff's Office via Politico
On this episode of The Paul Weller Fan Podcast, we hear the incredible story of Reaction - a Mod-influenced band from Burton-on-Trent, formed in November 1980 by Bruno Gallone.It was a real delight to hear Bruno's incredible story from creating the band before he could even play an instrument to their first gig a few weeks later at the Guild Street Mod night in Burton....What came next sounds too good to be true... but yes it actually happened.... on this podcast chat we dig in to the quite frankly ridiculously brilliant story of how, just a year later, the band got to support their heroes, The Jam, at the Hammersmith Palais in London (15th Dec 1981).Playing mainly in venues throughout the midlands and London, REACTION played with passion and energy building a strong following in the Mod Revival scene, playing their own headline shows and with the likes of Secret Affair, Purple Hearts, and The Lambrettas amongst others.Although there were several personnel changes throughout their short time, they stayed fiercely loyal to their beliefs and especially their home town, right up until their very last gig in May 1982.Bruno returned to music in 2006 as a solo artist, and during lockdown ended up creating new music with Reaction for an album that celebrated their part in the Mod Revival. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We are looking ahead to Skamouth! Eric Donaldson, Neville Staple, Bad Manners and Secret Affair will all be taking the stage
Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's episode is titled “Crazy in F**ing Love- the finale of the Secret Affair series. I look and stare so deep in your eyes,I touch on you more every time as your lust can do what no one else can.The passion in our fantasies has …Full Podcast Typed out: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/crazy-in-fking-love-secret-affair-pt-4-erotic-audio-by-salty-vixen/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen (Audio Erotica Podcast) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-stories/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Story Archive: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-porn/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's episode is titled “Switch me on, turn me up for F**K” Part 3 of 4. Of the Secret Affair Series. I teased you with my erotic words that made…Full Podcast Typed out: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/switch-me-on-turn-me-up-for-fk-secret-affair-part-3-audio-erotica-by-salty-vixen/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen (Audio Erotica Podcast) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-stories/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Story Archive: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-porn/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's story is titled “Lose Yourself the Naughty Way” this is part 2 of 4 for the Secret Affair series. Is this real life or is this fantasy? Tell me...Full Podcast Typed out: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/lose-yourself-the-naughty-way-secret-affair-pt-2-audio-erotica-by-salty-vixen/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen (Audio Erotica Podcast) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-stories/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Story Archive: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-porn/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's story is titled “Love Me Like You f**king Do”. This story has 4 parts. Tonight you will listen to part 1. Do you remember during our sexting relationship that we had talked about meeting at a hotel forFull Podcast Typed out: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/love-me-like-you-fking-do-secret-affair-audio-erotica-by-salty-vixen/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen (Audio Erotica Podcast) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-stories/Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Story Archive: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/free-erotic-audio-porn/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Recorded for release W/C 18th September 2023 This week Tom Roberts lets us know about By The Waters of Liverpool at the Lichfield Garrick, Phillippa Lawford tells us about Ikaria at the Stafford Gatehouse, Dave Cairns shares news of an evening with Secret Affair at The Robin in Bilston and we find out about 2 of the stages at the Malvern Autumn show from Mark Diacano and Martin Fish.
Nurse fired for secret affair with patient who died during sex in hospital parking lot --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/damitriess-farel/support
In this episode, we welcome the excellent Sylvia Patterson to RBP's Hammersmith HQ and ask her all about her life as a music journalist from Smash Hits to the NME and beyond, referencing her excellent memoirs I'm Not With the Band and Same Old Girl. We begin with her start in writing at Dundee publisher D.C. Thomson, including as music editor for the short-lived Etcetera, which led to her applying for a staff job at irreverent pop paper Smash Hits. Sylvia reminisces about what it was like working on a magazine that never took the business of popular music too seriously, reflecting that the lack of a cynical ulterior agenda engendered a fun atmosphere for both the writers and (most of) the musicians. Touching on Sylvia's 1987 interview with newly inducted Rock Hall of Famer George Michael, whom she dubbed "the glummest man in pop", we hear clips from an Adam Sweeting audio interview conducted on the same day. The man born Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou cut a serious figure at the time, contemplating his relationship with the press and the nature of political gestures from pop stars as well as rebuffing "rumours" that he's gay after Boy George has outed him on the radio. Moving on to the 90s and beyond, at which point Sylvia became a freelancer for publications including The Face and the NME, we talk about her experience interviewing The Artist Formerly Known as Prince before discussing the chaos of the Britpop era. Defending her chosen side in the Oasis vs Blur debate, she recounts the hilarity of speaking with the Gallagher brothers in 2001. To bring Sylvia's story up to date, we ask her about her new memoir Same Old Girl, published in April, about her diagnosis in late 2019 with breast cancer and the treatment amidst a global pandemic that followed. We then spotlight three articles on Donna Summer ahead of a new documentary directed by her daughter and pay tribute to recently departed Canadian singer-songwriter Gordon Lightfoot. Finally, Mark and Jasper quote from a few new additions to the RBP library including interviews with Jet Harris and Chris Cornell and a profile of Christian Scott/Chief Xian aTunde Adjuah. Many thanks to special guest Sylvia Patterson. Same Old Girl is published by Fleet and available now. Pieces discussed: George Michael: The Glummest Man in Pop?, George Michael audio, Prince, Oasis, Blur, Donna Summer, Donna Summerer, Giorgio Moroder, Gordon Lightfoot, Jet Harris, Soundgarden, Smokey Robinson, Morrissey, Secret Affair and Christian Scott/Chief Xian aTunde Adjuah.
In this episode of Suburban Underground, Steve picked an hour of songs by artists who have names that tie into Valentine's Day. The songs don't, necessarily, but the artist names do. Get it? You will. Artists this week are: The Heartbreaks, The Lovetones, American Heartbreak, Love Spit Love, Loverboy, The Wildhearts, Kiss, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, The Exploding Hearts, Affairs Of The Heart, My Bloody Valentine, Embrace, Kisses, Secret Affair, Gary Valentine, The Romantics and Modern Lovers. On the Air on Bedford 105.1 FM Radio *** 5pm Friday *** *** 10am Sunday *** *** 8pm Monday *** Stream live at http://209.95.50.189:8178/stream Stream on-demand most recent episodes at https://wbnh1051.podbean.com/category/suburban-underground/ And available on demand on your favorite podcast app! Twitter: @SUBedford1051 *** Facebook: SuburbanUndergroundRadio *** Instagram: SuburbanUnderground *** #newwave #altrock #alternativerock #punkrock #indierock
“Collusion, A Secret Affair & Shocking Absolution” Rev. Jerry Ornelas John 7:53-8:11
The Modcast https://themodcast.co.uk Weekly on TWR, Tuesday 6-8pm Mod, Interview, Podcast https://totallywiredradio.com/modcast/ Become a Friend of Totally Wired Radio... https://totallywiredradio.com/support/ Recorded 30.09.22 @ The 100 Club, London. Broadcast Live on 11.10.22
In today's episode, the young handsome gentleman do an in-depth analysis of Deshaun Watson and their thoughts on his fantasy football value this upcoming year, praise the good man Deebo and give him some well deserved congratulations, and seem to get many Brainiac questions involving Scary Terry. Tune in!
She just found out that 20 years ago her mom had an affair with her boyfriend's dad! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Hailing from the home of footballers, Cheshire's Kicked In The Teeth have popped in to MLPP towers this week to chat all things KITT.We talk about the dangers of drinking petrol (they are VERY real), the perils & pitfalls of coastal copulation, touring as a parent and the inter-town rivalries that only us provincials can relate to.Tom's popped out to a couple of gigs, Niallism drops some hints about an upcoming MLPP event and Lucy fills us in on her favourite pluckers in Lucy's Lucky Dip.Additional musical moments come courtesy of Secret Affair, Doc Hopper, The Pukes, Scene Killers, No Matter and The Lock And Keys.
Lacey Hirst-Pavek lived a perfect small-town life in the state of Washington. Lacey is married with two children to a loving husband, Danny Pavek. Unfortunately, for Lacey this all came crashing down when a rumor that Danny was having an affair, with a young woman by the name of Michelle Kitterman, began circulating the town. Hirst-Pavek is furious with the news, and decides to take matters into her own hands, or should it be said, someone else's. She unhesitatingly proceeded with a murder for hire by brainwashing three people within this town to not only harm Michelle, but the baby that was created within the affair.
Join me for all the build up to Skamouth 2022! Interviews with Dennis Al Capone, Winston Reedy, Carroll Thompson (Queen of Lovers Rock) and Ian Page of Mod revival band Secret Affair!!
The Modcast Weekly, Tuesday 6-8pm Mod, Interview, Podcast https://totallywiredradio.com/modcast/ Become a Friend of Totally Wired Radio... https://totallywiredradio.com/support/ English rock guitarist and songwriter, best known for his role in the 1970s/80s band Secret Affair, David Cairns is talking all things music and Mod!
XIV. As writer Edith Wharton began to spend more and more time in Paris during the early years of the 1900s, she made the acquaintance of the American journalist Morton Fullerton. Their meeting grew into a passionate and complicated love affair combining joy and emotional pain. Still, the affair led Wharton to some of her greatest creative moments and it wasn't until the 1980's when a long thought lost trove of letters brought the full story of the affair to light. This week's episode brings you to the Paris of the Belle Epoque and into the story of this surprising romance.For more stories of Edith Wharton from Carl Raymond, the Gilded Gentleman, tune into his appearance on the Bowery Boys episode Edith Wharton's New York.
Listen to the full erotic audio story: Stolen Glances
Shona couldn't figure out why there were no photos of her parents together, and why her dad was never around. When the truth came out she realised she was born out of a secret affair. SHOW NOTES: Make sure to subscribe and drop us a rating or review. You can also find us on Facebook at: I Swear I Never Podcast. Read more about this story at News.com.au This podcast was hosted and produced by Bek Day and Nina Young Editing and sound design by Andrea Thiis-Evensen. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
My latest guest is film-maker Chris Green - writer and director of The Pebble and the Boy. Inspired by the Paul Weller album track, the film will be released in cinemas nationwide from Friday August 27, and available On Demand later in the year. The story of a boy, his Dad's ashes, a Lambretta scooter and a journey from Manchester to Brighton, the spiritual home of the Mods. The film features tracks from Paul Weller, The Jam, The Style Council, Secret Affair and The Chords - along with a nice surprise from our previous guest Aziz Ibrahim! Chris lives and breathes everything Mod – and that really shows - from the music, the fashion and the scooters. Watch The Pebble and the Boy Trailer Find out more about the film , including cinema listings on the Facebook page If you want to support the podcast financially, you can buy me a virtual coffee via the link below (£3) Buy me a coffee on ko-fi
Fuego en la Pista de Baile, los éxitos y las novedades más underground en www.ipopfm.com, cada miércoles de 20 a 21 horas. 🎸 Tracklist: 1. Smokey Robinson ad The Miracles – You Really Got a Hold on Me 2. The Temptations – My Girl 3. The Capitols – Cool Jerk 4. Ken Boothe – You Left The Water Running 5. Desmond Dekker – You Can Get It If You Really Want 6. Mr. Symarip – You Can’t Leave Now 7. Val Bennet – Reggae City 8. Rudy Mills – John Jones 9. Los Granadians del Espacio Exterior – Buena Costumbre 10. Laurel Aitken – Rudi Got Married 11. Tony Borders – Lonely Weekends 12. Rufus Thomas – All Night Worker 13. The Contours – Do You Love Me 14. The Beatles – Twist and Shout 15. David Bowie – The Jean Genie 16. Bo Diddley – Pills 17. The 101’ers – Letsagetabitarockin 18. Los Saicos – Demoler 19. John Lee Hooker – Dimples 20. Rosco Gordon – No More Doggin 21. Ronnie Dawson – Rockin Bones 22. The Cramps – Save It 23. Chuck Berry – Come On 24. The Rivingtons – Papa Oom Mow Mow 25. Joe Jones – California Sun 26. The Velvelettes – Needle In a Haystack 27. The Shirelles – Mama Said 28. The Ronettes – Be My Baby 29. Ramones – Do You Wanna Dance? 30. Freddie and The Filos – Dance Girl, Dance 31. Heatwaves – My Baby is True 32. The Beach Boys – All Summer Long 33. Chubby Checker – Let’s Twist Again 34. The Gentrys – Keep On Dancing 35. The Bobby Fuller Four – I Fought The Law 36. Don and The Goodmans – Turn On 37. The Troggs – With A Girl Like You 38. The Sonics – Have Love Will Travel 39. The Kingsmen – Louie Louie 40. The Seeds – Try To Understand 41. Gregory Dee and The Avanties – Love You 42. ? Mark and The Mysterians – 96 Tears 43. Doctor Explosion – Rompí la Televisión 44. The Who – I Can’t Explain 45. Los Flechazos – A toda velocidad 46. The Human Beinz – Nobody But Me 47. The Kinks – Victoria 48. Spencer Davis Group – Keep On Running 49. Wilson Picket – Midnight Hour 50. Laura Greene – Moonlight, Music and You 51. The Flirtations – Little Darling I Need You 52. The Elgins – Heaven Must Have Sent You 53. Brighton 64 – El Mejor Cocktail 54. The Jam – Sweet Soul Music 55. Secret Affair – Time For Action 56. Squire – Get Ready To Go 57. The Rage – Temptation 58. The Chords – Maybe Tomorrow 59. The Specials – Hey, Little Rich Girl 60. Sophie George – Girlie Girlie 61. Jimmy Cliff – The Harder They Come 62. Dandy Livingstone – Suzanne Beware of The Devil 63. The Clash – White Man In Hammersmith Palais 64. Rancid – Roots Radical 65. New York Dolls – Trash 66. Polansky y el Ardor – Ataque Preventivo de la URSS 67. Gen X – Dancing With Myself 68. The Housemartins – Five Get Over Excited 69. PennyCocks – It’s My Life 70. La Granja – Los chicos quieren diversión 71. The Speedways – Just Another Regular Summer 72. The Lemonheads – Mrs. Robinson 73. The Real Kids – All Kindsa Girls 74. Radio Birdman – Aloha Steve and Danno 75. MCD – Barrenkalle 76. Los Vegetales – Odio el Verano 77. Panellet – Ball de Graduació
What would you do if you found out your mother had a secret affair 30 years ago? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What would you do if you found out your mother had a secret affair 30 years ago? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
About Mark: Mark Ivanir has been working as a professional film and television actor in Los Angeles since 2001. His first major film role was in Steven Spielberg's 1993 Oscar-winning epic SCHINDLER'S LIST. He rejoined with Spielberg twice, first for a cameo appearance in Terminal, then again for his much anticipated Tintin. A pivotal role in Robert Deniro's 2006 film, The Good Shepherd, landed Mark a role in Barry Levinson's What Just Happened, this time acting alongside Deniro. Currently, Ivanir awaits the release of four studio features: Johny English Reborn (starring Rowan Atkinson), Everybody Loves Whales (staring Drew Barrymore, Kristen Bell, John Krassinsky), A Late Quartet (co starring Philip Seymor Hoffman, Catherine Keener and Christopher Walken) and 360 (co starring Anthony Hopkins, Jude Law, Rachel Weitz and Ben Foster). He has booked over 35 Guest Star and Guest Lead roles on television shows such as: 24, Monk, CSI NY, Law and Order, Fringe, CSI Miami, Nikita and many others. Ivanir's road to Hollywood was circuitous at best. Born in the communist Ukraine (former USSR), he immigrated to Israel with his family in 1972. While serving in the Israeli Army he participated in the then clandestine mission to bring Ethiopian Jews to Israel. His military experience and expertise has been tapped for various roles including De Niro's CIA thriller THE GOOD SHEPHERD. After completing his stint in the Military, Ivanir turned down several job offers from Israel's Secret Service and gave up studying medicine to pursue a higher vocation—clowning. He completed two years in a Circus school, traveled throughout Europe performing on the streets, and ended up working in a Parisian Circus – Cirque Pawelles. After leaving the circus, Mark entered into formal theatrical training, studying at Israel's top acting school Nissan Nativ, later co-founding a theatre company made up of actors from the former USSR called Gesher Theatre. Within two years, Gesher became Israel's top theatrical outfit and was hailed by the London Times as “one of the six best theatre companies in the world.” Tapping his command of Russian, English, and Hebrew, Mark performed many different roles, translated and adapted eight plays for the company, and performed everywhere from Lincoln Center to the National Theatre in London as well as major stages in Paris, Rome, and Berlin. After being cast by Spielberg in SCHINDLER'S LIST, Ivanir moved to London to study with Philippe Gaulier and the actors of the Theater De Complicite. During this stint, he landed roles in THE MAN WHO CRIED (with Johnny Depp) and SECRET AFFAIR which encouraged him to relocate to Hollywood. Ever since Ivanir has been working consistently in major studio film and television projects in eclectic roles spanning from a Russian spy to an Israeli producer to a German elephant trainer. Mark's advice to an actor who's struggling: Diversification Think outside the box Use your own special skills Knowing your lines really well even for an audition
**THE SAVE THE SKA SHOW COMPILATION ALBUM IS OUT NOW** Check out our bandcamp page - theskashowwithbeefy.bandcamp.com/releases Can Anyone Sponsor The Show - Naming Rights Going Cheap!!!! or just buy me a coffee here - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Beefyskashow Broadcast live from Melbourne to Australia and the rest of the world on 88.3 Southern FM. Let's hope everyone does the right thing so we can get some gigs happening! Beefy keeps banging out the tunes trying to make sure that The Ska Show with Beefy maintains the prestigious mantle of being the SECOND best Ska Show on the planet (https://blog.feedspot.com/ska_podcasts/) Nobody's quite sure what needs to be done to snag that number 1 spot though - just keep being awesome I guess! Beefy has made this little corner of the Ska Universe his very own as every week the World's (2nd) Best Ska Radio Show airs some of the best Ska music from everywhere. No other ska show boasts the diversity or the innovation of what Beefy brings to the Ska party! The Big Beef Man will make sure 2021 is more SkaMaggedon than Armageddon! Our live set this week comes from Brazil and features Abraskadabra, plus there's awesomeness from Likeside, Pirateska Rebellion, Sally & The Monkeys, Los Rabanes (y amigos), Kato Ska featuring Neville & Sugary Staple, Pannonia Allstars Ska Orchestra, Backyard Superheroes, Marcia Griffiths with Toots & The Maytals and Secret Affair jump on the Ska Train! Send me your music if you're in a band - do it & I'll play it. Share the gospel of Ska if you can. Stay safe everybody! Only Beefy does Ska Radio like you've never heard before!
The Bachelor's Matt and Rachel were secretly meeting up and have now admitted it. Could this one day be looked back upon as the greatest love story of all reality TV or the greatest mistake? Is a new RHOBH spinoff with PK and Mauricio in the works? When USC thought things could not get worse, the song girls speak. Then I talk to the newest housewife, Dr. Tiffany Moon, and we find out about her husband, her past relationships, what she hopes to get out of being a housewife, her closet, and how she protects it much more. She shares her regrets and what it was like to be a 15 yr old college student. She is an honest, naturally funny, and intelligent delight! Get EXTRA Juicy Scoop at: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop More: https://heathermcdonald.net SPONSORS and DEALS: olly.com code "HOOHA" for 15% off dameproducts.com/juicy for 10% off embarkvet.com promo code JUICY to save $50 today Active Skin Repair text "SCOOP" TO 64000 womply.com/juicy see if you qualify for a PPP loan https://oseamalibu.com use "Juicy" for 10% off Apostrophe.com/juicy $15 off Ziprecruiter.com/juicy SleepNumber.com/JuicySupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop
The Bachelor’s Matt and Rachel were secretly meeting up and have now admitted it. Could this one day be looked back upon as the greatest love story of all reality TV or the greatest mistake? Is a new RHOBH spinoff with PK and Mauricio in the works? When USC thought things could not get worse, the song girls speak. Then I talk to the newest housewife, Dr. Tiffany Moon, and we find out about her husband, her past relationships, what she hopes to get out of being a housewife, her closet, and how she protects it much more. She shares her regrets and what it was like to be a 15 yr old college student. She is an honest, naturally funny, and intelligent delight! Get EXTRA Juicy Scoop at: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop More: https://heathermcdonald.net SPONSORS and DEALS: olly.com code "HOOHA" for 15% off dameproducts.com/juicy for 10% off embarkvet.com promo code JUICY to save $50 today Active Skin Repair text "SCOOP" TO 64000 womply.com/juicy see if you qualify for a PPP loan https://oseamalibu.com use "Juicy" for 10% off Apostrophe.com/juicy $15 off Ziprecruiter.com/juicy SleepNumber.com/Juicy Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Punk 4 The Homeless Radio Show is back with the 22nd episode! Airing just a couple of days before DOIN' IT 4 THE KIDS fest Tune in to this episode for some awesome audio delights to the sound of Vice Squad, Crystal Axis, The Drips, Lee Scratch Perry, Yidcore, The Meffs, Syd.31, The Briggs, Secret Affair, PedAgree Skum, Om3gacrypT, Johnjames Bruce, Joe Solo, Dee-Parts, Barry Brown, Cosmic Slop, The Astro Zombies, Douche Froid, Ferocious Dog, Killdozer, Yoghurt Weavers... If you can please donate to Compass Children's Charity for their vital work with at-risk and street kids: https://www.compasschildrenscharity.org.uk/donation/ - In loving memory of Bruce Wright, Candiflp Blackwood & Bob Booth RIP -
Bob goes through the rest of the interview footage and plays more tunes from Dexys Midnight Runners, Secret Affair, Pist'N'Broke, Oi-Skall Mates, Inspecter 7, the Pietasters, Judge Dread, and much more. Check it out!
Nikki S. is an executive in her public life and a self-described affair-hungry slut in her private life. Although she’s been happily married for more than 10 years, Nikki seeks sexual fulfillment that her husband can’t provide. Instead of ending her marriage, she decided to create her own erotic playground elsewhere. In this episode… Most people would agree that your partner can’t fill every role in your life, but what happens when they’re unwilling to explore your sexual desires? If you love your spouse and don’t want to break up your family, do you simply accept going without and learn to live with suppressing your sexual needs? After spending years repressing her sexual desires and coping with feelings of rejection in her marriage, Nikki S. concluded that it was her responsibility to fulfill her own needs. So, she decided to start a “double life” and seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. But, before pursuing a secret affair, Nikki made sure she was clear on her goals and had a strong safety plan in place. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Nikki S. to discuss the risks and rewards of having a secret affair. Nikki describes the emotional toll of being rejected by her husband, the empowerment she felt when starting an affair, and what happens when the emotional boundaries we set for ourselves don’t work. Plus, Nikki offers some practical advice on protecting your anonymity and staying safe. Stay tuned!
On this week's show, we have Bruno Gallone from the great band ' Reaction'Formed in Burton on Trent Nov 1980, REACTION blasted on to the Mod Revival scene. Playing all over the UK and also supporting top music bands such as The Jam, Secret Affair, Purple Hearts, Lambrettas and The Quads plus many others.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, women! Or minsan, tayo ang nasasapot sa kaguluhan ng iba. Sticky! Why nga ba? Touch-feely ka ba? Biktima ng feelingera? Minumumu? Na-wrong send ng incriminating info? Hala, tara na't maki-chismax ditech!
On August 7, Habib Daoud, a Lebanese professor of history in Iran, was gunned down on a street in northern Tehran. Killed alongside him was his 27-year-old daughter Maryam. The assassin was riding a motorbike, and escaped without being identified. Reports suggest that Daoud’s killing was carried out by Israeli spies. It fits the profile of those carried out by Israeli agents in Iran in previous years. Past targets, however, were mainly Iranian nuclear scientists. Daoud was a different kind of enemy to Israel. He was said to be affiliated with the Lebanese militant group Hezbollah, which is funded by Iran. At least, that was the story reported by the Iranian press. Thre months later, news reports in the United States and Saudi Arabia told a different story, in which the man Iranian authorities identified as Habib Daoud never actually existed. While the assassins were still likely to be Israeli agents, Daoud’s identity was a cover. There is a strong likelihood, rather, that the man assassinated in Tehran that day was a senior operative in one of the world’s most notorious terrorist organisations – one that has long claimed to be an enemy of Iran’s government. The man has been identified by US and Israeli officials as Abu Muhammad Al Masri, second-in-command of Al Qaeda. On this week's Beyond the Headlines host Sulaiman Hakemy looks at Iran’s covert and counterintuitive relationship with Al Qaeda.
Today's call touches on an interesting moral dilemma that many have likely considered, but far fewer have acted on. As "the other woman", which is more ethical: To tell your ex-lover's girlfriend about his cheating ways, or to stay out of their relationship and let her learn those tough lessons on her own? How far does "Do Unto Others" extend, or is it better to trust in karma? And in playing a role in the indiscretion, does one surrender the right to moral high ground? Shandy definitely wants your take on this one!If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.comSubscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandyFollow us!Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandySharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoyntAndy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine
Hello unicorn lovers! The first 35 minutes of the show is Dave's update on his secret affair with the lady from the animal shelter. She's stuck in a passionless marriage and climbing the walls for sex. Will her secret tryst quench her lustful thirst for naughty pleasures? Find out! Later in the episode is an erotic story from SLS.com, "Lessons". Kelly Taylor had a plan. It was a bold plan, provocative, perhaps even a little dangerous. Now that Kelly thought about it, she'd spent the better half of the past seven days planning to get her best friend, Donna, into bed. Catch us on Twitter or SLS: @tastymuffinlvr @unicornreport @dragontatsn2son. Stay safe out there friends!
Hey secret unicorn lovers! At the top of the show I check my messages from SLS.com and see who wants to hook up with me this week. Should I hit or shit it? Tune in to find out! Later in the episode Dave gives us an update on his secret affair with the senior citizen lady from the animal shelter. Somebody better get neutered cuz this shit's getting crazy FAST! Catch us on Twitter @unicornreport @tastymuffinlvr @dragontatsn2son. Enthusiastic consent is STILL sexy even with full PPE. Stay safe friends!
Hello unicorn lovers! At the top of the show I go through my messages from SLS.com (lifestyle dating site) and read some of the profiles from sexy lifestylers who want to hook up with a unicorn. Later in the show Dave gives us an update (per a request from a fan!) on his love life. A woman he volunteers with at the animal shelter has been pent up in a passionless marriage for 30 years, yet they both secretly fantasize about each other. Will Dave be able to unleash the lust in this woman's sexually repressed heart? Tune in to find out! Catch us on Twitter @unicornreport @dragontatsn2son @tastymuffinlvr Enthusiastic consent is ALWAYS sexy!!!
It's finale week of The Bachelor! Thank f**k! To celebrate, I present to you all, a special bonus episode as a token of my appreciation for enduring six weeks of torture with me! Scandalous details about which one of Locky Gilbert's leading ladies used to date Cody Simpson! Jamie Doran's secret girlfriend FINALLY revealed! The inappropriate comments Locky made to the girls during filming and the surprising reason he begged Irena Srbinovska not to be friends with Bella Varelis! The truth about the secret clause in Bella's contract and her history with Locky is finally revealed! PLUS more shocking secrets from the mansion! PLUS 'Law and Order: The Bachelor edition' as the shocking criminal charges of contestants are exposed! PLUS there's an explosive finale twist and Megan reveals whether or not Locky gets his happily-ever-after... It's a juicy-jam-packed episode, and I have truly saved the best tea for last! Enjoy xoxo SO MUCH DRAMA, SO LITTLE TIME!!! This is an independent podcast by entertainment journalist Megan Pustetto, who is dedicated to bringing the hottest gossip to your ears each week! The best way you can support So Dramatic!, is by subscribing to this podcast and leaving a (gushing!) review and (five star!) rating! Please keep super spreading the word about So Dramatic!, especially on social media with your followers (or haters!) - you will be doing God's work! Want more of the latest gossip? Follow So Dramatic! on Instagram, Facebook and join the PRIVATE Facebook group! FOR EXCLUSIVE TEA TOO HOT FOR ANYWHERE ELSE, JOIN THE SO DRAMATIC! Patreon! Got a hot tip, request, question, or receipts? Email (hello@sodramaticmedia.com). For all media enquiries and partnerships contact: megan@sodramaticmedia.com For everything else So Dramatic! (including the MERCH!), head to www.sodramaticmedia.com Thank you for supporting and listening to So Dramatic!. Ciao for now! Kind regards, Megan x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It's finale week of The Bachelor! Thank f**k! To celebrate, I present to you all, a special bonus episode as a token of my appreciation for enduring six weeks of torture with me! Scandalous details about which one of Locky Gilbert's leading ladies used to date Cody Simpson! Jamie Doran's secret girlfriend FINALLY revealed! The inappropriate comments Locky made to the girls during filming and the surprising reason he begged Irena Srbinovska not to be friends with Bella Varelis! The truth about the secret clause in Bella's contract and her history with Locky is finally revealed! PLUS more shocking secrets from the mansion! PLUS 'Law and Order: The Bachelor edition' as the shocking criminal charges of contestants are exposed! PLUS there's an explosive finale twist and Megan reveals whether or not Locky gets his happily-ever-after... It's a juicy-jam-packed episode, and I have truly saved the best tea for last! Enjoy xoxo Want more of the latest gossip? Follow So Dramatic! on Instagram (@dramaticpodcast), Facebook (So Dramatic! The Podcast) and join the PRIVATE Facebook group (So Dramatic! Podcast). Got a hot tip? Request, question or receipts? Email (hello@sodramaticthepodcast.com). Please rate, review and subscribe to this podcast (five stars only of course!) because I promise I will be bringing you the latest dramas each week! This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh - meal kits delivered straight to your door to cook delicious dinner every night. Use my discount code "DRAMA90" for $90 off across your first 4 boxes! T&C’s apply. For all enquiries and partnerships contact: stephanie@slpmgmt.com.au and antony@diamantina.com.au. This episode was produced by Play27 Media.
Secret Affair is a JTBC melodrama released in 2014. It is a romantic story between a woman in her 40s and a man in his early 20s while keeping in mind the social, cultural, and historical perspective. The story draws highlights various things which are prevalent in contemporary Korean society and tries to debunk and normalize attraction between people having a significant age gap between them. Background Music: Emotional Piano Improvisation by Alexander Nakarada. Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6199-emotional-piano-improvisation. License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
As a psychotherapist, I have conducted over fifty thousand therapy sessions with men, women, couples, teens, kids, and families over the last thirty-seven years. And I’m here to testify that secret affairs literally screw everybody up. So says Dr. Keith Witt in this fascinating exploration of infidelity in marriage, which arises out of human beings’ […] The post Why Not to Have a Secret Affair appeared first on The Daily Evolver.
Episode n. 6. In 1979 the MOD revival was burning, thanks also to the movie Quadrophenia, with thousands of youngsters from UK and from all over the world following the Mod scene again. New bands came with a distinctive sound, the so-called MOD '79, and among those ones, The Secret Affair were the most important. The song you listen to is an anthem titled "Glory Boys".**Puntata n. 6. Si parla della scena MOD del 1979 in concomitanza con la maturazione del punk e con l'uscita del film Quadrophenia dedicato al giovane Mod Jimmy. Migliaia di ragazze e ragazzi in UK e poi in tutto il mondo si legano alla cultura MOD. Tante band emergono e suonano anthem generazionali che rimangono nella storia. Tra questi gruppi ci sono i Secret Affair e qui ascoltiamo uno dei loro brani più famosi, "Glory Boys"
On this episode of La Confession, listener Krista called in about an affair she's having with someone VERY close to her partner. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Iyanla travels to the suburbs of Detroit to help a husband and wife who are in the midst of a breakdown. Felisha tells Iyanla that her husband's online affair has made her angry and she feels she may never be able to forgive him. Felisha's anger has also been used to cover up her well-kept secret --- her own affair from years past that could ultimately destroy their marriage. While talking with husband Don, he reveals to Iyanla that his wife accused him of deliberately causing a car accident while they were arguing, leaving her severely injured and him guilt-ridden. Iyanla realizes that both Felisha and Don have been living in their marriage with their backs to each other. She works to help them acknowledge each other's pain and to start the couple on the path of forgiveness that is essential to the survival of their relationship.
Doug Sanders of The Lambrettas joined us live in the studio as we discussed the great mod revival bands of the 70s! Interviews with Bruce Foxton (The Jam) Ian Page (Secret Affair)
With so many different potential approaches to helping your relationship, how do you choose the one that’s right for you? And how do you make sense of them all together? John and Julie Gottman, Sue Johnson, Esther Perel, David Schnarch, Stan Tatkin, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, Terry Real - they’re all describing different ways of getting the same thing - a loving, thriving, passionate relationship. Today we’re going to tackle how it all fits together, so you’re better prepared to steer your own relation-ship. To help us integrate in a way that makes it practical and clear, we’ve invited Dr. Keith Witt back to the show. Keith Witt is an integral psychologist, which gives him a unique perspective in making sense of all these roads that lead to Rome. His most recent book, Loving Completely, details his approach to bringing all of the essential parts of you to your relationship. Along with having written 7 other books, Keith has conducted more than 55,000 therapy sessions with his clients! If you’ve been wondering how to make sense of it all, this episode is for you! Also, please check out our first three episodes with Keith Witt - Episode 158: Loving Completely, Episode 80: Bring Your Shadow into the Light and Episode 13: Resolve Conflict and Create Intimacy through Attunement. As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Along with our amazing listener supporters (you know who you are - thank you!), this week's episode has two great sponsors, each with a special offer for you. For a unique gift to discover meaningful stories from the life of someone important to you, visit Storyworth.com/ALIVE for $20 off a subscription. Share the memories with your family, and preserve them in a beautiful hardbound book. It’s a perfect Mother’s Day gift! Want to experience a Luxury Suite or VIP Box at an amazing concert or sporting event? Check out Suitehop.com/DATENIGHT to score sweet deals on a special night for you and your partner. Resources: Check out Keith Witt’s website Read Keith Witt’s new book: Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice for Creating Great Relationships Check out Keith Witt’s other books as well! FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict… Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) www.neilsattin.com/integrate Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Keith Witt. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. And if you can hear it in my voice, I'm particularly excited for today's conversation. Of course, we've had so many different viewpoints represented here on Relationship Alive because there are so many roads that lead to Rome, the Rome of romance and romantic partnership, and how we sustain loving, thriving, monogamous relationships, and it's not always that one road works for any one person. And this has come up several times in the show, this question of, well, “so and so says their way is the way and they sound so convincing when you're talking to them, Neil, so what do I do when it doesn't work?" And this happens sometimes. Neil Sattin: So, if you've tuned in for a while then you know that the reason that I have all these different voices on the show is because I really believe strongly that it's whatever works that's important. And I suppose for myself I might put some boundaries around that; what I'd be comfortable with or where I'd feel a little edgy or stretching, but for the most part, I think that it's up to you to really get informed about what's possible and then make choices that really align with you or maybe stretch you in a direction that feels like a light way to be stretched. At the same time, they all form part of this big puzzle that makes sense. And so, I wanted to have a conversation today about how we integrate as much as possible the way that we think about all of these different methodologies so you can see how they all fit together, they don't exclude each other, for the most part. They actually all find a place in the big picture of how we make relationships, what we want them to be. And as much as some of the people on my show might want you to think otherwise, this is my personal belief. Neil Sattin: And so to have this conversation, I've invited one of my favorite guests to have here on the show who also happens to be someone who's very good at integrating all these different approaches. His name is Keith Witt. He has been here before to talk about his books, "Loving Completely", "Shadow Light", "The Attuned Family"; and he is an integral psychologist among other things. And so the integral perspective, I think will help us understand how all of these different pieces fit together in a way that actually does make a coherent whole, it makes sense. So, Keith, thank you so much for joining us today on Relationship Alive. Keith Witt: I am always happy to be on your show and it's one of the pleasures of my life, our conversations. [laughter] Neil Sattin: Awesome, well, the feeling is mutual. I do want to say before we dive in deep that we'll have a transcript of this episode. If you're interested in downloading it, you may want to read it a few times, you can visit neilsattin.com/integrate 'cause we're going to be integrating everything today. Or, as always, you can text the word "PASSION" to the number 33444, follow the instructions and you'll be able to download the transcript to today's episode. So, Keith, let's start with maybe where you orient in terms of this conversation. And before we got started, you were talking about this sense of, as we talk about all these different schools of thought, we're really talking about the founders of modern relationship theory. So, where do you put yourself and how do you make sense of where you are in this conversation about how we're tying all of these things together? Keith Witt: Well, first of all, being a founder is a peculiar thing. I've developed various systems, all of them interrelated generally, under the integral umbrella. And integral has worked for me greatly. [chuckle] The reason why integral has worked for me greatly is the integral is a meta theory, not a theory. And so, I had actually generated systems and written some books about systems before I encountered integral. But then the integral, looking at the world through the objective and the subjective, the individual and the collective; looking at the world through types of people, states of consciousness, through people being at different developmental levels, including therapists, I realized that when you put any system into that, including the systems I developed, it expanded. And it made me just fascinated with the commonalities that affective systems, particularly of relationships and of love because I think everything's relationships is. Keith Witt: And so, one of the things that's different for me and other founders is that, even though I've... If you look at my eight books, there's essentially seven different systems interrelated of doing psychotherapy and of doing couples work. I'm not particularly invested in any of them. Those systems are useful, they're coherent, they have a lot of technical and theoretical interconnections with everybody else and with the research. But I agree with exactly what you said. Ultimately, when a couple or an individual wants to love better, they come in, it's the goodness of fit with the therapist and it's how effectively they move forward, and there's an alchemical experience that happens with that, that can only be described in the intersubjectivity of the session. And meta research on psychotherapy has shown this again and again, and one of my favorite meta-analyses, which they took lots of studies and put them together, they found out a couple of very fascinating things. One, therapy helps people, okay? That's good news for everybody. Neil Sattin: Good to know. Keith Witt: The second thing that the variance of change was explained by 40% in this meta-analysis, 40% of the variance of change was client variables; how resilient they were, what kind of social networks they had, what kind of resources they had; 30% of the variance of positive change was the relationship, what was the solidity of the intersubjectivity of the alliance between the clients and the therapist; 15% was placebo effect. If you go to somebody, give them a bunch of money and they expect to change, you're going to change. [chuckle] Keith Witt: In fact, that's something that has completely confused the field when it comes to the whole psychotropic thing. Probably 30% or 40% of the effect of most antidepressants is placebo effect, 8%-12% is probably the drug. Okay, so 15% placebo effect, 15% method of treatment. Okay, well, method of treatment 15% is significant. In poker, 7% is skill and the good poker player always wins but that 15% isn't as big as the client variables and it isn't as big as that 30% of the alliance. And so, I'm aware of that and so I hold my systems lightly, even though I love them. And so, I look at the other systems and I look at my relationships with the other systems, and I get a lot out of all of them. But also, I noticed that as we moved through the fields, our own little blind spots tend to affect how we absorb systems, how we enact systems, and how we integrate them. And I find that interesting because every time I find a blind spot, that's an opportunity to wake up. And this is where our conversation went when we were talking about this. So, how do they fit together? Well, as it turns out, even though they look very different from the outside, most of them fit together quite well in terms of the constructs that the various therapists bring to bear with couples and individuals for that matter and what they have to do in a session to help people move forward. Keith Witt: So, that's pretty much it. My Loving Completely approach is approach that I love a lot, and you can check it out in my book, "Loving Completely". And my book, "Waking Up" that was the first book that I wrote after I had my integral awakening, is one of the first texts on integrally-informed psychotherapy, and it has sections in it around integrally informed sex therapy and marriage counselling. And I'm quite proud of that, and I think that works a lot, but are those more effective than Gottman's approach. Schnarch's approach, or Perel's approach, or Tatkin's approach? I don't think so. I think pretty much you have a good therapist, who's enacting their system and is attuned to their clients, they're going to do pretty well. And this goes for me, all the way back to my doctoral research. I was always interested in this, and so my doctoral research was I took three different kinds of systems and researched them in terms of how much they enhanced the health of clients. Talking plus touching, talking without touching, and touching without talking. And I found that the people got better equally, which led me to conclude that in psychotherapy, people have a natural healing style. Keith Witt: And what you want to do is you want to identify it and enhance it and let it and help it grow as you grow throughout a lifetime. And I think that's probably the best way to go, as a psychotherapist and as a marriage counselor, and certainly when I train people and supervise people, that's my perspective. What's your natural healing style? How can we help you expand that and grow within that natural healing style? And that natural healing style has to involve, not just your style expanding, but you expanding. If we don't grow as individuals, we're limited as clinicians. Neil Sattin: Yeah, that's... I really appreciate your saying that and it's making me think about that problem of when someone comes to me and says, "I tried. I found an EFT therapist and that didn't work, or I found a Gottman therapist and that didn't work." I wonder sometimes if that might be, because the particular therapist isn't necessarily 100% aligned in terms of their healing style, which you just mentioned, with the system that they've learned. It may be that they believe 150% in the effectiveness of that system, but if it doesn't tap into their own natural alignment and integrity and how they create resonance with their clients, then I could see it falling flat at times. Keith Witt: Oh yeah. Before, let me see, probably 2000, I've been doing this since I first started studying therapy in 1965. I mean, I've been studying bazillion systems. And so for me, until I was around 50, every time they discovered a new system, I go, "Oh, damn." Because I knew that I was going to get disintegrated. I was going to learn this system and it was going to disrupt my understanding of the psychotherapeutic universe. I would have to climb into this system and enact it until I could actually enact the system naturally, I could answer questions from the system. And I knew that it would re-organize my understanding of the universe, and it was a lot of work. So, every time I found a good system, I go, "Oh Jesus, not another one." And then I would study it and I would... Sometimes for years, and it was always difficult in the beginning because it would destabilize, and that's very much how development goes on any developmental line. You expand into the current world view, and something comes and causes that world view to not quite be enough, and so the old one disintegrates and you go through that period of disintegration before you re-integrate into a more complex system. And I kept hoping that it would be the end of it. I'd finally get a system that was so great that I wouldn't have to have go through that experience. Keith Witt: And then after I was 50 and studied integral and wrote about integral, I realized that I was enjoying the process now, that when someone came up with a new idea, like EMDR that it actually was... EMDR is wonderful in certain situations dealing with trauma. And so that was great when as soon as I identified it as a great system, I saw a research that persuaded me, I dived in and I had a lot of fun learning and acting EMDR until I could bring it into my repertoire of theoretical and practical understanding. Now, what did that reflect? That reflected my consciousness changing. Keith Witt: I shifted from being more egocentric in my understanding to being more open, so my unconscious was actually aware. Keith, there will be great systems that will happen and when they arrive, they'll help you grow and be a better therapist, they're wonderful. And so, my subjective reaction to them shifted from, "Oh, no," to "Oh, boy." And this is how you notice that you grow. You don't notice that you grow particularly because you have a new idea, you notice that you grow because you have a different natural reaction to something that you had a different reaction to before. And it's very difficult to notice a shift of world views from the inside. It's easier for other people to give you feedback about it until you get to a certain level of development in the integral, we call that the "second tier" and then it's just easier to see that kind of stuff. And so that's been my experience with this over the decades. That's my current experience with it. Neil Sattin: Great, yeah. And just to give you listening, a full sense of what I'm bringing to this conversation, I mentioned in the introduction that a lot of this is about you finding tools that work for you. I also have another bias that comes from my position of being able to talk to so many of the founders of relationship theories, which is... And it comes from my upbringing I think, which is this kind of like, "can't we all just get along" mentality. In an ideal world I'd be having this conversation, Keith, you would probably still be there and we would have everyone on a stage as a panel, but the express purpose of that conversation would be like, "Let's figure out how we can all work together." And my understanding is that, that's been challenging in the field to bring everyone together like that, but that's another thing that... My own agenda that I bring to this conversation is, I want everyone to get along and to commit to the overall betterment of how effective we can be in our lives or as therapists or coaches, or people who help others. It's really important to me. Keith Witt: Well, Amen. [laughter] Neil Sattin: And some other things that you were mentioning made me think immediately of John Gottman. And I can't remember if he mentioned this actually in our first interview, if it was part of what I recorded or if it was just part of my conversation with him. But he talks about how important it is for him to know when he's wrong. He keeps a very detailed record of all the ideas that he's ever had and I think he might have said that he's wrong more than half the time. Keith Witt: Yes, he says that. More than half of his hypothesis have been proved false. [chuckle] Neil Sattin: Right, right. And so for him, this is one of the things that he stakes his claim around is that, he's distilled a body of work that statistically has been shown to work more than 50% of the time I think, in fact it's like 86 or something percent of the time. And that being said, he's also... What I love about that statement is one, his embrace of the willingness to be wrong, which is so important at any level of relationship, relationship to an idea, relationship to your spouse, so I really appreciate that. And also it seems to be his major critique of people who would use other systems that maybe haven't been empirically proven to be effective because what if you put it under a scientific scrutiny and found that it only worked 10% of the time, like your best placebo on its, without; or sorry, your best drug without the placebo effect. So, that's where it gets confusing for people I think, because they're like, "Well, if my local shaman hasn't undergone scientific study, what do I do with the fact that it's actually been really helpful for me? Versus going to my Gottman-certified therapist? Keith Witt: John Gottman is the only founder that I know of whose psychotherapeutic approach and theoretical approach literally arose out of his research. That's not true for any of the rest of us. Everybody else was doing stuff that worked really well for them in certain situations and they saw how things fit together, and then they fitted it together with other stuff that they found out and created a structure. That's not a bad thing. That's how theories historically have arisen, in my opinion, except for say, physics. And John Gottman started out as a mathematician. Keith Witt: I went to a three-day workshop with him and Julie, and at the very end, I went up to him, I said, "You know, John, I've done a lot of this stuff, okay? And your system has the most amount of good stuff and the least amount of bullshit than any other system that I've seen." And he laughed because he got it. Another thing that endeared me to him, and I gotta say I am biased towards John Gottman, I love that guy, I think he and Julie are great. Keith Witt: In a conference where everybody's talking about how their system is the best, he went up on stage and says, "You know, I think about my treatment's failures." And I thought, "God, John, thank you." I think about my treatment failures too, what the fuck. What can I do different. What's the new stuff? He is a researcher. Now, I use a lot of his research to validate my approach, I've changed things that I've done in response to some of his research. I've changed some of my understandings in response to some of his research. Why? He's just the best and most comprehensive couples researcher around. In terms of my approach, almost every psychotherapist and all couples counselors to a certain extent through psychoeducation, you're basically teaching people about themselves and about how relationships work. Keith Witt: The nice thing about Gottman's approach is that he didn't really, in most of his work, he didn't really have confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is what most founders bring to their research, if they do research. Okay, well, if you're doing research to show that your system is great, that's confirmation bias. Now, human beings, when they develop, when they develop from fundamentalist, which is I'm going to enact the EFT system or the crucible system exactly how it's supposed to be, and I'm not going to really think about whether it's working or not, that's a fundamentalist system. I'm going with the structure, but because it's the structure. Keith Witt: When you go to a more rational system, a rational system is, "Well, I want to cross-validate things and see how they work, and if they work better, I'll shift into a new system." In between that conformist and that rational system, there's an in-between stage. Susanne Cook-Greuter and Beena Sharma who studied developmental stages, they call it the 3-4 stage 'cause 3 is conformist and 4 is rational; they called it the 3-4 stage. In that stage, people experience themselves as open to input, but actually they have confirmation bias, they're looking for data that support their preconceived notions and they very much resist change. Keith Witt: You know, back in the '90s, I went to a David Schnarch workshop. And so, David Schnarch was all about differentiation, a concept he obviously lifted from Murray Bowen and never gives him any credit for, which pissed off Dan Siegel enough in the conference so Dan Siegel called him out on it. It was one of those little conference snafus that happen, it fascinated everybody. So I went up to Schnarch, I said, "You know, I think there is a more fundamental construct than differentiation." He said, "What?" I said, "I think it's health." He said, "That's too broad." Now, maybe he's right. Maybe my orientation towards what's healthy and not healthy is a too broad concept. But his immediate reaction was dismissal. He didn't want to consider that there might be a more fundamental organizing principle than his, okay? There was confirmation bias. Now, he's a good counterpoint, to me, to John Gottman. John Gottman doesn't like people making assertions without doing research, but I don't care, I still love John Gottman. Keith Witt: David Schnarch spent minutes on stage during that workshop warning people to not use his stuff 'cause it's all trademarked and I found him arrogant and narcissistic, and to this day, irritating. Now, what is that? Both of them have their own critiques. Why do I find myself really liking John Gottman and irritated with Schnarch? Even more importantly, whenever you get irritated with someone, there's a tendency to dismiss what's great about their system. And this is what is beautiful about integral, integral says, "Everybody gets to be right, nobody gets to be right all the time." And Schnarch's concept of differentiation and holding on to yourself and the whole crucible approach to couples is a really good approach. Okay, that is very effective, particularly with some couples where they keep trying to move out of the container and you keep them in the container until something pops, and out of that pop come something new. And sometimes that newness is a new discovery of love for each other. Now, Esther Perel does a similar thing, but she's more of a practical romantic. I see Schnarch and Susan Johnson as more practical moralistic, in that they seem to literally have moral disgust for other people who disagree with them. [chuckle] Keith Witt: I go, "Okay." [chuckle] Maybe that's what irritates me about them. Like Susan Johnson says, "If you do your work, you have to be slow and soft." Okay, well, that works for her with couples. But you know, as people might have noticed so far in our conversation, I'm not a particularly slow and soft guy, okay? So, my natural healing style, sure, I can get really gentle with people, and I actually was critiqued by Gestalt therapists in the '70s by being too nice to my clients. "You're too nice to your clients, Keith." "Oh, I'm sorry. Just because Fritz [Perls] is an asshole doesn't mean I have to be an asshole when I do therapy." [chuckle] Keith Witt: And so, sorry, Susan, slow and soft is not my natural style, okay? It's alright. Now, does that make me less effective than her with a couple? Probably with some couples, I don't know. Neil Sattin: Right, and it would probably make you less effective if you were implementing her system. Keith Witt: Yes, that's exactly right. And when you learn a system, it's good to implement it. Now, even though I love John and Julie, John and Julie, when they talk about implementing their systems, they use a lot of their research tools. They give people like questionnaires, they give them cards and stuff, and they have their structured things that they recommend people doing. I'm sorry, I don't like doing that stuff. [chuckle] Keith Witt: My clients don't like doing stuff like that, but even if my clients liked it, I don't like doing it. If you go to a risk management workshop, they give you a five-page thing your clients are supposed to sign about all the horrible things that they can report you for and that the therapy does and doesn't do. I'm sorry, I don't do a five-page thing. We all have our different styles. Now, that being said, I just love that guy, love him, and every time he gets a new thing out... I studied his last book from the beginning to end several times, and except for the math, just found it utterly fascinating. And I see him as a practical scientific guy. He is a true scientist. John Gottman will change an opinion on a dime if you give him persuasive data. And that's just not true for many people. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so, since you've brought up David Schnarch, and unfortunately, he hasn't been on my show yet, so we haven't had the benefit of being able to hear from him directly. I still... I reach out to him every so often and I'm hoping that one of these days he will. That being said, it's funny. I have my own bias when someone doesn't want to be on my show. [chuckle] I'm like, "Well, what's your problem?" What you just mentioned about your experience with him, that seems in some respects, to make sense given that he's staked his claim on differentiation, that that's where he's coming from, differentiation being that sense of holding on to you and your sense of who you are no matter what someone else is throwing at you. And so in preparation for this conversation, I really dove into his passionate marriage work, which is sort of the lay person's approach to crucible therapy, which is what he calls his work in the therapeutic realm. And I found myself really appreciating it, in fact, and it got me irritated because even... I was listening to this one recording of him and he said something that was dismissive of attachment theory and... Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And I love what attachment theory brings to the conversation about relationships, both how you come to understand your own dysfunction in a relationship or how you come to understand the function of the dyad, what that does for you. And concepts of safety and how that enables you to differentiate. I love that, and it kind of bridges into Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson's developmental model too, which we can talk about in a little bit. But that all being said, when I heard him talking about the importance of knowing who you are, and at the same time being able to remove your distortions of who you are. And he talks about part of crucible being that your partner being there, that's a great way for you to learn where you actually aren't who you think you are, just as one example. Or you get to, through self-reflection, see some of the dysfunction in who you are, and actually work towards growth and improvement. But when he talks about differentiation, he talks about some things that I think are key. You talk about, not only holding on to who you are, but also your ability to self-soothe, so to take responsibility for yourself when you're triggered. How many times have we talked about that on the show? He talks about getting over your reactivity, so taking responsibility for not freaking out at your partner when they trigger you. Neil Sattin: Again, so important, and fits right in. And then, he talks about, and I love this concept, the idea... And this is a place where I feel like he's kind of unique, and you can correct me if I'm wrong here, Keith, 'cause you have a broader perspective, perhaps, than I do. But he talks about... He names his approach as a non-pathological approach. In other words, if things are going wrong, then nothing is wrong. It's like, that's what you would come to expect. And that part of what he holds as an ideal in a relationship is the ability to hold onto yourself, to self-soothe, to not get reactive with your partner, and to hold the container of a relationship when things get uncomfortable. And that does seem so important, being able to grow with your partner. If you're so focused on fixing things and one of you capitulating to the other, it's not that there's never a place for compromise, but it's like, I think, and so many couples rush to that, they overlook the actual growth potential that happens in truly experiencing themselves as separate individuals with different ideas about how to live and how to be in the world, or how to be with each other. Keith Witt: It's a wonderful approach. It's a wonderful understanding. I like it. And I use those concepts and those understandings, and have, ever since I learned the system. That the system has great efficacy, practically speaking. Now, that being said... So let's just expand. Okay, so it's great to say it's a non-pathological system. Okay, fine. And basically, effective therapists operate from that perspective. Here's two people, they want to change, they want to grow. That power of a human consciousness wanting to change and wanting to grow is so robust that there's a lot of details of self-regulation and moderation and holding on to yourself and understanding. But there's that basic core of power, of human consciousness wanting to grow. That's true, and psychopathology has existence. If somebody has a personality disorder, there's no couples approach that is going... In my experience, maybe I'm wrong, because I've been doing my own work. My lab is my practice. I've done 65,000 therapy sessions. And so, I take stuff into my lab, so to speak. So psychopathology has existence. Sometimes you need to go into that to help people grow. You have tell somebody, like, "You have a distorted view of the world," and need to have some individual work to deal with that, or, "You are so overwhelmed by your trauma history that you have to go resolve that trauma before you can experience sexuality and intimacy with your partner comfortably." Keith Witt: That needs to be normalized and there's a subtle bias. In integral, we would call that a pluralistic bias or a green bias, to treat everybody like they're the same. This is what causes David Deida to dismiss psychotherapy in general. Now, that's an interesting thing. I'm a psychotherapist, I teach psychotherapy, I write about psychotherapy, I've generated systems, I'm a founder of systems, I go to David Deida workshops. He generally puts down psychotherapy as being kind of a pluralistic, limp-wristed, egalitarian, second stage, you know, wimps, so to speak. And I still love the guy, okay? [chuckle] Keith Witt: Okay, so why is that? Probably part of it is because I see him as a kindred spirit, as a fellow warrior. But when you and I were talking about this earlier, but part of it is I probably have more projections with people like David Schnarch or Susan Johnson, like that moralistic... Maybe there's a part of me that has moral disgust that I don't like and I project onto them. I do that a little with Dan Siegel. I love Dan Siegel's work, I've studied his books, I've listened to his lectures endlessly, I've enjoyed his lectures. And every once in a while though on stage, he starts complaining about how somebody treated him badly or how somebody doesn't understand him or he had to push back, and I just find that icky. I go, "Dan, don't say stuff like that. That makes the rest of the cool stuff that you talk about. You know, you're a brilliant man, and you've changed everybody. Your book, The Developing Mind, was my foundation of neurobiology, interpersonal neurobiology." Keith Witt: Alan Schwartz is similar. He says everybody bow to evidence-based treatment. He's irritated with this American Psychological Association privileging the research of, particularly, cognitive behavioral therapy, I suspect because cognitive behavioral therapists and the labs around the country get a lot of money and other people don't. So there's a lot of personality that comes through and yet all these systems have wonderful things about them. So, Schnarch is more practical moralistic in that sense. Esther Perel is more practical romantic, she's practical. All the good therapists are practical. You're with a couple, we're going to help 'em move forward and understand them individually and as a couple, and we have a vision of good relating that's for effective therapists is similar. But she has basically a romantic approach. You have your own way of understanding yourself, and of love, and I support that as a therapist. And you have your understanding of what you want with this relationship and I support what you want. And your partner is similarly. And we deal with that and from an accepting standpoint and a practical standpoint, how can we move forward? Keith Witt: You feel enlivened by your secret affair that devastated your partner, I understand how you feel enlivened by that. I understand the draw of that. I understand your resentment at your partner for not being more cooperative and creating better love, the partner is outraged that you did this. Well, I understand your outrage. I understand your desire to love better. It's a very romantic approach, but it fits very well with all the scientific approaches, the moralistic approaches, with even David Deida's mythological approach. David Deida is basically a practical mythological approach. He draws from the wisdom, traditions of masculine and feminine. He used to teach the Shiva and Shakti scale, just brought it out of the Eastern traditions. And yeah, it's practical. This is how we can help you understand yourself, understand your partner, and understand how you enhance the polarity to have the intimacy and safety and love and the passion that you want. And if you get down to it in the psychotherapy session, if you watch any of us doing a session with people, you'd see very similar constructs that we're applying and you'd see very similar interventions. Neil Sattin: Yeah, it's so funny I was listening to the first season of Esther Perel's podcast that she put out with Audible. I think it's called Where Do We Begin? Or something like that. And one of the sessions I was like, this might as well be Harville Hendrix that I'm listening to, just in terms of how she was showing up for that couple and talking about safety and the way they were constructing their communication and it was like right out of his getting the love you want workshop practically. So that was fascinating for me and I think worth noting because if you're just a bystander and you're like, say, listening to the Relationship Alive podcast, you can be so persuaded by one person's viewpoint or the other. And in fact, I find myself, like you were mentioning earlier, Keith, persuaded over and over and over again. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: Because everyone's system has so much merit to it, that you might lose sight of where they both offer you something important. Sue Johnson and David Schnarch, it's interesting that you've paired them together because, obviously, they're in some ways they would see themselves as being in opposition to each other. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And yet, how many times have I seen with clients how important creating safety is to them, taking a stand for who they are? And vice versa, if they're all about the safety and they never take a risk by being who they are, I've seen that be problematic too. So, it's like everyone is reacting to the... What's the word? The distorted, the extended version, like if you go way too far into differentiation, that's not going to be a relationship. If you go way too far into creating safety or your couple bubble, like Stan calls it, Stan Tatkin, then you might lose the edge or the eroticism, which is what Esther would hone in on. You've lost your sense of the other person as other, you're too safe. Neil Sattin: So, it's so interesting because even in just this past three sentences or so, you've heard me jump from one to the other to the other trying to show you, like, "Yeah, they all actually feed into each other." If you're really, really stuck, like a lot of people are, I think that's why Esther's TED Talk took off because so many people are stuck. I think she writes in "The State of Affairs" that sexless marriage is one of the top Google searches or something like that. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: So, if you're in a sexless marriage, then when someone starts talking about how you feel too safe and you've come to not think of your partner as someone else. And so here are some ways to get you back to a more erotic, playful space with your partner, then you're going to listen and that's going to make sense to you. But it wouldn't make sense to you if you had no safety in your container and your partner was constantly texting other people and flirting with the waiters and waitresses at the restaurants, and if you were in a totally unsafe world, then that's not going to be a place where Esther's work might, or at least what you might initially think she's getting at. But again, this is just her TED Talk, you hear her in a session and she's talking about creating safety within a couple. Keith Witt: Exactly. That practically speaking, everybody comes from constructs that involve relational patterns, a developmental orientation, that people are influenced by unconscious influences and trauma programming. Everybody has a vision of happy relating for every couple they work with. No effective couples counselor doesn't do that. We all, if we have a couple, we immediately start having a vision of how they could be getting along better with each other. And all couples counselors are informed by the psychological and psychotherapeutic traditions, therapeutic relationship attunement, and that kind of stuff. Keith Witt: Now, when you look at it, for me, the breakdown between Schnarch dissing attachment theory and Susan Johnson saying, "I have the only couples therapy. We never had a theory before me." Okay? Well, look, if you say to a bunch of founders who have their own theories, "You never had a good theory of couples until me," everybody's going to get pissed off. So, Susan Johnson says that, I go, "Susan, you've got a good system, you got a good theory. You don't have to piss us all off by saying that. You can say, 'I got a couples thing that I prefer to yours.'" And so, John Gottman will go up in a workshop and say, "Well, we have our theory." You know he's speaking directly to that. Keith Witt: Now, that being said, Esther Perel and Schnarch make a point that a lot of other couples people miss, they go, "Look, sexuality is a big deal and it's been neglected by the field," and they're right about that. That was true. In the '70s, therapists wouldn't even ask their couples about sex, it just drove me crazy. I did a lot of sex therapy training in the '70s because I realized that to be effective with couples, I need to be really good at helping them have better sex, and integrated that into my work and have ever since. And David Deida's stuff has been priceless around that stuff. Keith Witt: And so, the field has grown to that. And to their credit, once again, John Gottman and Julie, they have their system of expanding the conversation about sexuality and the behaviors about sexuality because they've demonstrated from their research that it's not enough to just down-regulate conflict with a couple, you have to up-regulate good times. And as I make... The point that I make in my Loving Completely approach, a marriage is a friendship, a love affair and a capacity to heal injuries and ruptures. That love affair is a big deal. That first star, this erotic polarity between me and my partner, gets more space in my book than any of the other stars. Why? If that love affair isn't happening then there's a lot of problems that arise out of that, and that's that sexless marriage statistics that Esther mentions in her book. I wrote a book called "A Hundred Reasons to Not Have a Secret Affair", I couldn't find a publisher for it. And I read "State of Affairs" and I said, "Well, I like this a lot better than my book." [laughter] Keith Witt: And really I think that's a really good book about affairs and you can just feel that practical romantic orientation on her part. Neil Sattin: Yeah, and when you say romantic, let's just... Can you get more clear on what that means, just so we get you there? Keith Witt: Esther has... Now, this is just my reading of her, okay? And I've never talked to her. I hope I do some day. There's this sense for her about love. There's a mystery, a cross-cultural mystery about love, that there's love is, I want to be loved, I want to love and I want to do it in a way that works for me. And if it's not happening, I'm suffering and I want to make it happen. And if it's not happening and I'm suffering, I need to take that suffering into the world and into my own development, into my relationship and make love happen. And there's a certain mysterious quality about it. And yes, there's things that interfere with it like lies and abuse and all that other stuff. And to a certain extent, because she works an awful lot with infidelity and that kind of stuff, you can see our practices shape our theoretical understanding. There's that sense of, if we open that up, then love will happen. Now hopefully, it happens with us as a couple, but if it doesn't, okay. It didn't happen. Love, the relationship just because it ends wasn't unsuccessful, we lose each other, we move on and we find love some place else. Keith Witt: Okay, to me, this is very romantic. This is a subjective love-based, romance-based orientation towards eroticism and sexuality. And it's very effective because that's how in terms of the neurobiology of bonding, yes, we go from our various arousal systems, into attraction, into distracting attraction, into romantic infatuation, into intimate bonding, into life stages. Now, what I think Esther misses, because she doesn't seem to be as interested in the science, is that it's an apples and oranges comparison that early attraction, distracting attraction, romantic infatuation, sexual drives, with the sexual drives that exist in intimate bonding, okay. Keith Witt: In intimate bonding, I have discovered or it's been my experience, to go into those romantic infatuation circuits, it's very, very intricate and detailed and it's not nearly as easy as finding a new person that you don't know. And so you can't compare, "Well, it's very hard to develop romance and passion with my husband, but really easy with my lover." Well, of course it is. We're wired to have that be the case. That's not the point. The point is that... And now we're getting into an integral understanding of evolution of consciousness. As we expand our consciousness, as we get more world-centric and more compassionate and less bullshit, our relationships are more demanding. And so it's very, very difficult. I haven't found relationships where people have the depth of connection that they want, knowing each other and accepting each other and loving each other deeply, that they have that and that that container, which is powerful but fragile, can tolerate one of them going out and falling in love with another person. And also, that container suffers if they don't do what they need to do to take care of their love affair. They have a love affair that they believe in that they're sustaining with each other. Keith Witt: So, why is that fragile? Well, because it requires an awful lot of attention and knowledge and understanding and self-regulation. Why is it great? Because there's deeper intimacy available in that container than in previous containers over the last 10,000 years and it's more demanding. If you have a very, very primitive... Say you have a relationship that's pure conformist. We're getting married, we're going to have kids, we're going to do what the Bible says or the Koran says. In those cultures, women stop having sex with their partner when they stop being of childbirth age, in general. Fascinating study. They just go at that point, they go, "Well, I'm not going to do it anymore." A lot, not always, but a fair amount. Why is that? Because there isn't a developmental layer of intimacy that they and their husband are working for, because they're in a system where he's in charge. She has to do what he says. I say "yes" to sex, until I can't have kids anymore and then I can say "no" if I want. Keith Witt: And if we don't have a certain level of intimacy and a commitment to depth, why would we be interested? He would be going after youth and beauty and maybe I'll have an affair or maybe I won't. It just depends. If you're going in, but if you both have the sense of equal depth, if you both are post formal operational, if you both want to sustain your friendship and your love affair and expand it and expand each other, well, then that requires a different kind of inner subjectivity. So these are very complicated forces that are operating on all of us. Now, they're explicit in integral psychotherapy because we always look at lines and levels, and probably, you're going to tell me about Ellyn Bader, probably in their developmental model, because developmental models notice that people's worldviews change, and that relationships, demands of relationship, change as we go into different developmental levels. Keith Witt: The other ones, the effective ones, unconsciously adjust for different people's worldviews, but sometimes don't consciously do it, because it's not visible to them, consciously, but unconsciously, in the session, they get a feel for it and they attune to it. Just like if you're an effective therapist... Stan Tatkin has practically nothing about sexuality in his system, but I'll bet if people come in to his system suffering from not being sexual, he climbs in, understands their experience from the inside, finds out where they're turning each other and on and off, and helps them find the kind of safety that they need to move into eroticism. Keith Witt: And eroticism's very central, because it's like the canary in the coal mine. Everything else has to be going pretty well for you to be good lovers with your partner. It's very rare, as a couples counselor, for people to come in saying, "Yeah, we're both fulfilled, sexually. We enjoy sex, we have sex regularly, and we want a divorce." That actually happens once in a great while, but that's like one in 100. Usually, when people come in and say, "Sex is great," there's a solidity to their relationship, and they're coming in to talk about other kinds of issues; money issues, sometimes... Often child issues and parental issues, sometimes physical issues, that kind of stuff. Neil Sattin: Okay, so... Yeah, there are several different directions that I feel myself being pulled, and... Keith Witt: Great. Neil Sattin: I think where I'm going to go right now is on this practical level, because I want this to all be practical, and we're talking about all these systems as practical systems. I think I heard Schnarch say that... And I don't think this is an actual statistic, I think he was just making a point, which was, in a good relationship, sex makes up about 10% of what you think about and care about, but if the sex is bad... No, if the sex is good, then it's about 10% what you think about and care about. If the sex is bad, it's 90%, or non-existent. And so, I'm thinking about that in light of what you just said and wondering, okay, for people listening who are in this place where they're like, "Okay, well, I'm not connecting with my partner erotically. Should I be going to a sex therapist? Should I be going to an EFT therapist to work on my safety? Should I be... " I could feel... I can feel confusion there, around, what do you do, practically? 'Cause so many people might see like, "Oh, you're not having sex? Well, then, let's talk about sex." Others might say, "You're not having sex? Well, that's a symptom of so many other things going on in your relationship, so let's talk about the other things, and we'll talk about sex later." Keith Witt: Well, first of all, go to a good couples therapist who understands eroticism. It doesn't matter what system they're operating in, if they're a good therapist, a good couples therapist, experienced and know how to attune, and have the things that I mentioned, those qualities, and understand eroticism. One of the reasons that Schnarch says that is that, in general, human consciousness goes where the pain is. We have a half-dozen sex drives, we don't just have one, we have lots of them. And so, if one of those sex drives is activated in a negative way, say jealousy, that's a lot of pain. Say frustration... Frustrated... This happens a lot with guys after the first baby is born. A baby is born. Okay, their wife kinda gets over the birth, and he finds her utterly adorable and desirable. Yeah, this is adorable and she's in love with his kid, she's full of love, "We're sharing this thing," and he wants to have sex. She's in love with the kid, she's got follicle-stimulating hormone up the wazoo, her desire is down, biochemically. If she doesn't have a commitment to re-establishing their love affair, then he's in pain. Keith Witt: And so, what does he do? He makes jokes about it, and there's all these bazillion jokes about men wanting more sex, mothers with small children, and guys... Women don't want to have sex. And these are hostile jokes and these separate people. And, in general, three years after the birth of the first baby, according to the Gottmans' research, 70% of couples are doing worse. But what if you teach them about affection and eroticism and sensuality and say, "You need to sustain this after the birth of the first child. You need to both be onboard with it." Well, if you teach them that, then three years later, 70% of them are saying, "Yeah, we're actually better as lovers." Now, you need... In my experience, that's useful information for me to have, as a couples therapist. Keith Witt: And it's useful for me to know the parameters of that. Just like it's useful for me to know about psychopathology. You know, if somebody has some kind of trauma thing or a personality disorder or some kind of debilitating or God knows, you know, bipolar. That kind of stuff. That has to be addressed. That really has existence. You go to a therapist that has a general understanding, and is good with sexuality in general. I don't know if I'd want to go to any couples therapist who didn't understand the principles of sexuality, and the sex drives, and the stages of sexual bonding, whether I was working on sex or not. It's such a central part of the life stages of a relationship, you know. You don't just have one marriage, you have many marriages. And there's different demands at each developmental level of marriage. And you want to be true to those demands and help each other with them, and good couples therapists all do that. Whether they do it consciously or unconsciously doesn't really matter, you know. They do it. Because, they're inside the universe of these couples helping them grow. And they discover these blocks, and they have their own orientation to help people through them, and help people into deep inter-subjective, into love with each other. Keith Witt: And so, that's... All good couples therapists can attune. They all interrupt people all the time. 'Cause you gotta interrupt toxic patterns, and they all have some sense of what a positive pattern is. You know, all couples therapists suspend their ego in service of their clients. If you have too much ego in the session, you lose your capacity to help people. All good couples therapists are willing to share their clients' pain. All good couples therapists tell vivid enough stories, have vivid enough metaphors that they register, they land with people. They're bringing their best selves into the work, so that's... If you took anybody from any system and saw them work, and they were effective, you'd see that in my opinion and so, that's their natural healing style. And, you know, you keep expanding that and after a while... And what breaks my heart about this is since people resist change, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of natural healing styles in existence being embodied by great practitioners, that we'll never find out about. Because, you know, there's a resistance in the field to new systems. And these people don't have as much... I don't advocate much for any of my systems. Keith Witt: As a founder, I haven't like pushed to make one of my systems famous. Okay, well, that means a lot of people haven't encountered a bunch of my systems. Okay. Well, that's kind of a weakness in my approach as the founder, really. Because if I want to make an impact, I should go out and beat drums about my systems and I don't. I go, "Well, yeah, I like my systems but the other ones are great too. Use the one that... Study the ones that turn you on. Turn that and have that enhanced and expand your natural healing style." What lights me up is people doing that. And if they want to use my system, if they like it, of course, I get a little ego rush from that, sure. That's great. [chuckle] Everybody likes to be told they're great, you know. [chuckle] Neil Sattin: You're great, Keith. [laughter] Keith Witt: Yeah, there you go. Neil Sattin: Yeah, and... Keith Witt: Well, I'm actually a little embarrassed, but you know, I often do if my clients compliment me extravagantly, I'll get embarrassed. Partly because of the transference stuff, you know. Okay, so people go through stages, and partly because, I'm uncomfortable with my ego. I don't want it to show up in my session. Anyway. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Yeah. And I'm thinking of something you said earlier about systems that maybe do or don't actually handle mental health all that well. That there's, you know, a lot of these systems work well in the context of someone isn't suffering with major depression, or borderline personality disorder and that made me think of certain modalities that are helpful with that. Like in particular, what came to mind was Internal Family Systems, Dick Schwartz's system, and... Keith Witt: I love that. Neil Sattin: And there's been an evolution of that intimacy from the inside out which is basically applying Internal Family Systems to couples therapy. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And that Toni Herbine-Blank, she's been here on the show to talk about that. This is something that I feel particularly connected to, is this question of how we, in a relationship, actually show up for each other to help heal. 'Cause I don't think that there are many people in our world that have escaped some form of trauma or another. I think we all have like places where we're wounded or where we don't want to go. We're talking about all of these systems in many ways from the perspective of going and seeking help, which I definitely encourage you to do. It's a good idea to go and, as Keith was talking about a little while ago, to have that outside perspective until you're really good at getting outside perspective on your own. Neil Sattin: But that being said, I like those modalities because the more conscious I think you get of how you heal from trauma, so I'm thinking of, yes, Internal Family Systems, somatic experiencing, the things that really enable you to identify what's happening within you, both your body awareness and how you attune to your body, but also what Dick talks about in Internal Family Systems, literally identifying the different personalities in you who are competing and at war, he calls them parts. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And then you can bring those dialogues into your conversations with your partner. Then I think there is a lot of potential through that, through co-regulation to actually heal with each other. But I don't know about any studies that show that that's going to be curative if your partner has depression, for instance, but I do have a pretty strong belief that that's going to help you show up in that relationship in a way where you're still feeling connected and you're in integrity. Keith Witt: There are studies that show that it is curative to expand into your intimate relationship, your family relationships, and your social relationships to be curative with depression, just like there are many studies, overwhelmingly, that show that exercise is a better anti-depressant than any drug. So, that's all true. And your central point, I think, is huge, and that central point is when a couple has mobilized to, one, have compassionate self-observation of both their healthy and unhealthy sides. In my Shadow Light book, I talk about growing your shadow, and that our unconsciousness is constantly giving us constructive and destructive messages, and that we have resistances, defenses against being aware of them, and to the extent that we do that, we have problems with ourselves and in relationships with other people. Because, let's face it, the more intimate you are with yourself, which is having compassionate awareness and acceptance of yourself and self-regulation, the more able you are to be intimate with other people. So, that's just how it works, ask any therapist, any couples therapist. Keith Witt: And Dick Schwartz's approach is wonderful in that, one, he develops... You'll notice there's always a compassionate witness observing these inner parts, okay? Just like meditation increases the capacity of the compassionate self-observation, the witness, as we say in the wisdom traditions, so do these systems that look at these inner parts. Because if I'm looking at inner parts, who's looking? The compassionate witness is looking, and awareness regulates. So, as I'm looking at these parts and I'm identifying the constructive and destructive ones, already I am unconsciously up-regulating the constructive ones, down-regulating the destructive ones. Okay, that's a great language, and it's nonjudgmental, but it's very, very powerful. Now, say you do that with your partner. Instead of taking offense when your partner says something nasty, you go, "Wow, that was that nasty sub-personality." And you go, "Whoa, that was kind of nasty." And they go, "Ooh, that was my nasty self, I'm sorry." Now, at that point, the nasty self isn't in charge. The compassionate witness is in charge regulating the nasty self and now bonding with that partner, and they are collaborating to help shape each other to be their best selves. Keith Witt: When you get to that point with a couple that are doing that with their friendship, their love affair, and their capacity to repair injuries, that's a self-sustaining system that creates the great relationships. And you see the great relationships, you see that, it's called the Michelangelo Effect, it's been studied, and people, they end up talking more like each other, and looking more like each other. But even more, they get up... Long-term couples will tend to get happier with each other because they're receiving influence to be better. And it takes a lot of courage and a lot of openness to receive influence, and a lot of self-regulatory capacity, and that always runs from some kind of compassionate witness, and all the systems encourage that. They all have their different names for it, but if you don't have that, then you're kind of left with raw behaviorism. And if you do have that, which most of us do, or formal operational or post-formal operational. Keith Witt: Having that compassionate witness be more robust gives us more options, response flexibility and interpersonal neurobiology, they would say. And response flexibility isn't random. I want to choose the healthy responses, which support love and support health and I want to say no to the unhealthy ones. But I have to be aware of them, I have to be able to regulate them. That's where Allan Schore comes with regulation theory, that's where Harville Hendrix. His systems basically force people to self-regulate because they can't go into their fight patterns 'cause he's given them different patterns to do. Keith Witt: And so, probably the power of this system is as much by not allowing people to do their hostile patterns as it is giving them new patterns, and I think that's true for Dick Schwartz too in Internal Family Systems, and it's especially useful in trauma because we get overwhelmed with trauma. So, anything that causes us to observe trauma without being overwhelmed, whether it's somatic re-experiencing, EMDR, Internal Family Systems, all those things are drawing from the same well in terms of helping us be aware and regulate and then attach and then connect, love other people and be loved by other people. These are the things that the affective systems have in common. Like, practical mythological, somebody might do better if they see themselves at a particular stage of the Hero's Journey. Great, I love the Hero's Journey, I'm all over that, I've been studying it all my life and practising it. Keith Witt: Somebody might do great in seeing, "Well, I have this destructive... An Internal Family Systems thing. One of my firemen is just driving me crazy by giving me all these impulses to regulate myself in unhealthy ways." You go, "Oh, yeah." But he wants that fireman and he wants to feel better and what's a healthy way to feel better? Oh, now, I'm going to these other selves. Okay, these deeper ones. Oh, and here's this injured self that just really never felt good and still doesn't. Oh, well, we need to love that self until it begins to feel like a legitimate person who's in pain. When that begins to happen, say a childhood injury, most people hate that little kid who was abused, if you had early abuse. Once you start loving that kid who was abused, feeling the pain but loving him, saying, "Hey, look, it wasn't your fault they molested you or beat you up," things change, there's more freedom of motion and you can love better. Neil Sattin: Right. And this goes straight to the strengths of a system like EFT, and that's based around attachment and why it's so important to recognize the bonding, the safety, the ways that you are trying to regulate your safety in relationship. And if you're not conscious of that, how the ways you do it are probably going to be jeopardizing, ultimately, the safety of your relationship, even though, ironically, you're trying to keep yourself safe in those moments. Keith Witt: Yes, and now here's the paradox of the whole attachment stuff. The attachment theory just kind of blew the lid off of the developmental orientation. People have been resisting psychoanalytics... The cognitive behaviorists, the cognitive therapists have been resisting for decades the psychoanalysts' assertion that infancy and early childhood really matter. Well, attachment theory showed that it really does, that we do get set up for secure and insecure attachment, and that there's elements of that that go all the way to the adult attachment industry that the researchers in Berkeley, I forget their name... Mary Main came up with. Yes. Keith Witt: Now, there's a little switch here because that attachment has to do with mother/infant attachment. Okay, now, we go on to couples and then we gotta add that sexual component. Adding that sexual component to secure attachment is tricky. I really don't want to be having to be secure with my wife exactly the way I was secure with my mom. I want to have elements of that, but there's not a lot of eroticism there, or hopefully there isn't, and if there is, there's more problems, that would be more complicated. And so now we have to add that erotic component. Now that erotic component has a lot of other elements in it. It has adventure, it has transgression, it has change, it has whoever we discovered we are from a gender standpoint or whoever we discover we are in terms of our own kinks, whatever our culture told us about our sexuality, whether it's good or it's bad. Keith Witt: People discover their sexuality, and if they're lucky, the culture says, "Oh, that's fine sexuality." Say you discover you're a heterosexual g
Ashley asks Ara all the questions you guys asked about her past relationships, we talk about the cheating, progression and a lot more. Listen to episode Secret Affair and Part 2 to understand this one. amazon.com/shop/ashestoooashes
Go back and listen to Secret Affair before jumping into this.
Ashley catches up with a long time friend. Her friend Ara talks all about her ups and downs of marriage and divorce & the affair. ** Sorry for the poor audio. This was last minute as not in the "studio" aka the right equipment. Jump to 7 min to get the story. Part 2 up on Thursday! Support the podcast by shopping amazon at Amazon.com/shop/ashestoooashes
We go back to when Spring was in the air in March 1980, which was lovely, unless of course you were J.R. Ewing cos someone shot the poor bloke. Still music was great, UB40, The Police, Blondie, Secret Affair, The Jam, The Vapors, and B.A. Robertson (well OK maybe him not so much).We play the entire top 20 singles; a few from the bottom, and a delve into the album chart of the week. Classic songs on-board “Games Without Frontiers”, “My World”, “Geno”, “Hands Off…She’s Mine”, “Echo Beach”, “Another Nail In My Heart” and a ruddy lot more besides. Enjoy!
Dan Goldman and Andrew Livingston joins host Kris Lotlikar to talk about secret work conducted by the White House Marijuana Policy Coordination Committee as well as the latest developments out of New Jersey. Produced by Shea Gunther.
In Episode 68, we check in with Ethan Jones, a spy thriller author who decided to go wide with his novels and focus on growing his Kobo sales. His 2015 sales were up 260% over 2014, and every month has broken his sales record from the preceding month. Kobo is now Ethan's leading retailer, bringing him healthy four figures each month and rising. How did he accomplish this? What advice does he have for authors considering publishing to KWL, or just starting out? Tune in to find out! Ethan has three spy thriller series currently on the go His inspirations: Brad Thor, Vince Flynn, Baldacci, Tom Clancy, Bourne series He feels it's important to not only know the market, but to know the basic story lines of major authors in his genre and not repeat them; “Readers are more likely to believe that Ethan Jones copied Brad Thor than the reverse.” Why he switched from exclusive with another retailer to wide distribution. Since then, his Kobo sales have grown in a big way. He saw a 260% increase in sales for 2015 over 2014. Every month is higher and higher, now bringing in healthy four figures per month, more than all other retailers combined. It took perseverance in terms of both time and effort When you upload to Kobo, give the books time. Inform your readers that they are available in that channel. Think of your career as a marathon – you are laying the groundwork to establish a readership globally, across multiple retail channels Sold books in 30 countries so far through Kobo, including Fiji and Turks and Caicos Ethan still works a full-time job, and does his writing during his commute and lunch break. He catches up on email and marketing on the weekend Connects with the writing community through online forums, cross-promotions, and attending conferences On Mailing Lists: he manages two lists. 1) 2 emails a month, goes to everyone who has expressed interest in him and his books. Brief update, new releases, any deals, offers that include cross-promoting 2-3 other authors. 2) ARC readers, 1 email a month about review copies and a reminder about posting reviews Releases a new book every 3-4 months Average cost of producing each book: $200-$300 per book for editing/proofreading. $200 for a cover. Under $500 per book total Beyond BookBub, his promotional strategies include: tell readers about all new books, price pre-order lower than launch price. Send occasional flash sales to his mailing lists. Hit some of the smaller promotional website opportunities beyond BookBub Something his readers might not know about him: English isn't his first language (it's Albanian), and Ethan Jones is a pen name A few overall words of wisdom: Start right away with building a mailing list. Invite anyone and everyone you know – it might surprise you to learn who is interested in your writing. Distribute widely; think about your career as a long-term gig, and give yourself 18 months to work on promoting new channels. LINKS OF INTEREST www.ethanjonesbooks.wordpress.com Author Ethan Jones on Facebook AuthorEJones on Twitter Ethan Jones is the author of the wildly popular Justin Hall spy thriller series, featuring Canadian Intelligence Service special agents operating mostly in the Middle East. This series has nine books so far. The first four books in this series have reached the Amazon's Top 10 Best Sellers lists. Ethan has also started a new spy series: Carrie Chronicles, which features Justin Hall's partner, Carrie O'Connor, in solo adventures. The first two novels in this series, Priority Target and Codename: Makarov have already come out and more are expected to be released in 2017. He is also working on a romantic suspense series, featuring Jennifer Morgan, set in New York. The first book in this series, The Secret Affair, is already out and the second and the third will be published in fall and winter 2016. Ethan is a lawyer by trade, and he lives in Edmonton, Canada, with his wife and son.
How do you tell your spouse about your secret affair...especially if you know you're about to be caught?
How do you tell your spouse about your secret affair...especially if you know you're about to be caught?
Unexplored topics: Jillian Michaels, Prince George, Bill Cosby, NeNe Leakes, Lucy Hale, Joaquin Phoenix, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kate Hudson. The post Kate’s Secret Affair – Them Weekly: December 29, 2014 appeared first on Bloop Group.
Unexplored topics: Jillian Michaels, Prince George, Bill Cosby, NeNe Leakes, Lucy Hale, Joaquin Phoenix, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kate Hudson. The post Kate’s Secret Affair – Them Weekly: December 29, 2014 appeared first on Bloop Group.
This is the time, the time for action! Secret Affair were at the forefront of the 1979 British Mod Revival. Like the Specials, the young Essex band's sound was rooted in sixties music but whereas the Specials were firmly grounded in bluebeat, Secret Affair's took their musical cue from Tamla Motown and Stax. Their cynicism came from direct exposure to major labels. Singer Ian Page's vision of a new street-savvy teens called Glory Boys found a ready audience and their tunes did the rest. As the first wave of punk receded, the new Mod bands braved rock press put-downs to put dance back into the charts. Secret Affair's motto was "gogo, not pogo". Their debut single, 'Time For Action', sold 198,000 copies in the UK alone; 'My World' did just as well and their first three albums went Top Ten. As their latest sell-out UK tour comes to an end, Ian and guitarist Dave Cairns tell Garry about the highs - and the scary lows - of their glory years. Download the show as mp3 file Subscribe in iTunes Be a wonderful human being and support us with a donation
Jay doesn't care about: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, #expownit, Ben Flajnik, Jessica Biel, bebe, Ashanti, Mary J Blige, One Direction, Mob Wives, Gabrielle Union, Kendra Wilkinson, John Mater, or Katy Perry. The post Kris Jenner Secret Affair – Us Weekly Digest: December 9, 2013 appeared first on Bloop Group.
In this installment of The Shrink & the Pundit, Dr. Keith Witt and I discuss the emotional constellations of shame. As a therapist who has worked with thousands of clients, Keith has seen the devastating effect shame can have on psychological health. “It can literally kill us,” he explains. It can also save us. Because shame is so powerful and central to our psyches, it is a great leverage point for metabolizing our dysfunctions. Shame is a social emotion and first comes on line in small children as a response to the inevitable disapproval from authority figures. It is the prime engine behind the development of the defensive states and patterns that create amplified or numbed emotions, distorted perspectives, destructive impulses, reduced empathy and inability to self-reflect. As we let ourselves see and feel into the textures of our own shame we can begin to witness the admonitions of our “inner critic,” as well as the subtle energy and somatic patterning that keep it anchored in our psyche. This awareness itself is curative (to paraphrase Fritz Perls) and is a key to the psychotherapeutic process. It is also a worthy form of integral practice. As usual, Brother Keith has thought it through beautifully, and you can listen to him explain (below)… Dr. Keith Witt is an integral psychotherapist extraordinaire, and my conversation partner for The Shrink & the Pundit dialog series. Having practiced in Santa Barbara for nearly forty years, conducting over 50,000 therapeutic sessions, Keith knows the human animal up close and personal. Keith has written several integrally-informed books, including Waking Up: Psychotherapy as Art, Spirituality and Science, The Gift of Shame, and his latest: 100 Reasons Not to Have a Secret Affair. Listen or download here:
The first ever exploration into the 1979 Mod Revival featuring the legendary vocalist from Secret Affair, Ian Page, alongside revival mod and top music journalist and author, Paul Moody. A modcast classic! August 2012.
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