Addicted to Recovery

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts welcome Amber, who shares her deeply honest journey through addiction, relapse, mental health struggles, and ultimately finding lasting recovery. AmberAmber opens up about growing up feeling different and self-conscious, discovering alcohol at a young age, and later developing a dependence on cocaine that quickly escalated from social use into a destructive cycle. She discusses how ADHD, untreated trauma, and the search to feel “normal” fueled her addiction — and how becoming a mother added both love and pressure during her darkest moments. AmberAfter hitting emotional rock bottom and seeking help through A&E, Amber entered mental health treatment but struggled because the root issue — addiction — wasn't fully addressed. Relapses followed, teaching her painful lessons about the difference between simply being abstinent and truly working a recovery program. AmberEverything changed when she fully committed to meetings, sponsorship, service, and the 12-step process. Through honesty, structure, and community, Amber rebuilt her life — repairing relationships with her daughter, developing confidence, and discovering new ambitions like drama school. Now one year clean, she shares how recovery has given her peace, purpose, and the ability to show up consistently for life. AmberThis episode explores:The link between ADHD, mental health, and addictionWhy relapse can be part of the journeyThe power of service, fellowship, and connectionMedication in recovery and navigating grey areasHow recovery transforms parenting, confidence, and daily lifeA heartfelt conversation about hope, resilience, and what's possible when someone truly puts “two feet” into recovery.

This episode of Addicted to Recovery features Harry, who shares his personal journey through addiction, recovery, and fatherhood. He reflects on growing up in West London, navigating family challenges, and being diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. Despite a childhood filled with love, the absence of a consistent male role model and exposure to a tough “lad culture” shaped his identity and influenced early drinking and drug use. Football became both an outlet and an entry point into environments where alcohol and substances were normalised. As Harry entered adulthood, his substance use escalated from social drinking to daily reliance on alcohol and cocaine. He describes maintaining work and responsibilities for a time, but eventually falling into patterns of secrecy, financial strain, paranoia, and emotional instability. The pressure of moving house, building a family, and trying to live up to expectations intensified his addiction. Even becoming a father — which he hoped would change everything — wasn't enough to stop the cycle, and feelings of guilt and shame continued to grow.The turning point came when Harry reached a severe mental health crisis, feeling overwhelmed and suicidal. He recalls moments of deep despair, including walking alone in a forest and later confronting himself in a mirror, which sparked a powerful realisation that he needed help. This moment led him to attend recovery meetings, where he began the process of rebuilding his life. Through recovery, he learned that sobriety wasn't just about quitting substances, but about changing his mindset, letting go of ego, and learning healthier ways to connect with others.Since getting clean, Harry explains how his priorities have shifted towards reliability, honesty, and family life. He talks about becoming a more present partner and father, embracing emotional openness, and redefining what masculinity means to him. Motivated by his own growth, he started a men's mental-health group called “The Man Cave,” offering a supportive space where men can talk openly about struggles such as anxiety, relationships, work pressures, and identity — not just addiction.Overall, the episode highlights themes of vulnerability, accountability, and transformation. Harry's story emphasises that recovery is an ongoing journey of personal change, where learning to drop the mask and ask for help becomes the foundation for a more authentic and meaningful life.

In this episode, Christopher White and Max Thomas speak directly to the newcomer — the person who's struggling, confused, overwhelmed, or quietly asking for help. Drawing from their own lived experience, they break down what addiction actually feels like, why extreme emotions are common in early recovery, and why no feeling — good or bad — lasts forever.The conversation moves through mental health, physical wellbeing, gratitude, forgiveness, and the power of human connection. Chris and Max also talk openly about meetings, sponsorship, and 12-step recovery, explaining why simply walking through the door can be one of the bravest decisions a person ever makes.This episode isn't about having all the answers. It's about hope, honesty, and reminding anyone listening that you don't have to be clean, confident, or certain — you just have to show up.If you're new to recovery, thinking about getting help, or supporting someone who is, this episode is for you.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts sit down with Mike, a Patreon supporter and recovering addict, for a raw and deeply personal conversation about addiction, identity, mental health, and what it really means to rebuild a life from the ground up. Mike shares how, despite growing up in a loving and financially stable home, he struggled internally from a young age with bullying, low self-worth, and a constant feeling of not fitting in. As an adult, he was diagnosed with autism, which helped him understand years of masking, people-pleasing, and difficulty regulating emotions — all of which fed into his addiction. Mike I got clean on the screenMike's substance use began socially with alcohol and escalated when cocaine entered the picture during nights out and London work culture. What started as confidence and connection gradually became compulsion, secrecy, and isolation. He describes the shift from “fun” to needing drugs just to feel normal, using alone, lying about money, and living a double life that eventually led to the breakdown of his marriage. At his lowest point, overwhelmed by shame and consequences, Mike believed suicide was his only way out — a crisis that ultimately forced him to admit the truth and ask for help. Mike I got clean on the screenHe entered recovery during COVID through Zoom meetings, throwing himself into the program with willingness, service, and connection. But his journey wasn't linear. Mike speaks openly about multiple relapses, including one he hid for two years while continuing to claim clean time. The emotional weight of that dishonesty led to anger, relationship damage, and mental instability. When the truth finally came out, he reset his clean date and describes the relief of honesty as a turning point in his recovery. Mike I got clean on the screenThe episode also explores Mike's mental health struggles. After a suicide attempt involving medication, he was hospitalized and later diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) alongside autism. With treatment, medication, and a deeper understanding of his emotional patterns, he now recognizes how mental health and addiction intertwine — and how recovery requires addressing both. Mike I got clean on the screenNow one year into an honest stretch of recovery, Mike explains what's different this time: in-person meetings, active step work, full transparency with his sponsor, a small but strong support network, and a willingness to prioritize healing over relationships and comfort. He talks about finding joy in ordinary life — home, routine, connection, and helping newcomers — rather than chaos and nightlife. Recovery, for him, feels like being “born again,” not in a religious sense, but as a complete reset and chance to live with integrity instead of performance. Mike I got clean on the screenThis episode is a powerful reminder that addiction is about far more than substances. It's about identity, shame, mental health, and the courage to tell the truth. Mike's story shows that relapse doesn't have to be the end — but secrets will keep people stuck. With honesty, community, and willingness, change is possible.

In this powerful episode, Chris and Max sit down with their friend Dean, who shares an unfiltered look at addiction, recovery, and the emotional struggles that don't magically disappear with sobriety. Nearly nine years clean, Dean explains how his addiction didn't vanish — it shifted. His intense dedication to the gym and his physique became a new outlet, a kind of “armor,” masking deep self-hatred, body image issues, and a lifelong discomfort in his own skin. Despite looking disciplined and put-together on the outside, he reveals he has never truly liked himself and still feels lost internally.Dean traces these feelings back to childhood, describing a loving but emotionally limited upbringing where he constantly sought validation, especially from his father. That need to be liked and approved of carried into adulthood and fed into his cocaine use, which he says calmed his mind, made him feel normal, and gave him a sense of belonging. What started as social use turned into a 20-year addiction marked by functioning on the outside while feeling powerless within. A defining trauma came when Dean found his father after he died by suicide at a job they were working on together — an event that still haunts him and intensified his using, alongside deep guilt about not being present for his family during that time.After losing his business, stability, and sense of self, Dean reached breaking point and was taken to his first meeting through an intervention. Though frightened and disconnected at first, he has remained clean ever since, something he is proud of. But he's clear that recovery hasn't been a fairytale: he still battles self-obsession, emotional overwhelm, relationship pain, and the lasting impact his addiction had on his children, especially his eldest son who once saw him as a hero. He admits he's less connected to meetings and fellowship than he once was and feels the difference, warning others not to follow his example of only “dipping a toe in.” The episode is a raw reminder that being clean and being emotionally well aren't the same — and that honesty, connection, and helping others remain vital parts of the ongoing work of recovery.

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas are joined by their close friend Nick, who shares his raw, unfiltered journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and recovery.Nick opens up about living with relentless anxiety, low self-worth, and an overwhelming internal dialogue that shaped his life from childhood. Despite appearing confident on the outside, he describes years of people-pleasing, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion that ultimately fuelled his substance use. What began with alcohol as a way to “feel normal” gradually escalated into a destructive cycle involving drugs, work obsession, and deteriorating mental health.The conversation traces Nick's life from a chaotic childhood and early escape into the high-pressure world of professional kitchens, through the culture of long hours, perfectionism, and substance use that often accompanies the hospitality industry. Although outwardly successful, Nick explains how his addiction and untreated mental health issues led to breakdowns, damaged relationships, and profound shame.A major turning point comes when Nick speaks candidly about being sectioned, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and finally confronting the reality that substances were never the solution—but a way of coping with pain he didn't yet understand. With honesty and humility, he reflects on the impact his illness had on his family, particularly his ex-wife and children, and the process of taking responsibility without drowning in self-blame.The episode also explores themes of recovery, accountability, compassion, and growth. Nick shares how finding recovery later in life helped him gain clarity, self-awareness, and a sense of peace he never thought possible. Through humour, vulnerability, and shared understanding, the hosts and Nick highlight an essential truth: recovery isn't about perfection—it's about learning to live, feel, and show up honestly.This episode is a moving reminder that behind addiction is often unaddressed pain, and that healing is possible at any stage of life.

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas explore one of the most confronting questions in recovery: “Am I an addict?” Drawing from personal experience, lived recovery, and official fellowship literature, they walk listeners through the Am I an Addict? questionnaire—a tool designed to help individuals reflect honestly on their relationship with drugs, alcohol, and behaviour.Rather than focusing solely on substances, the episode highlights addiction as a disease of thinking, feeling, and living, showing how it affects every area of life: relationships, finances, mental health, self-worth, and identity. Christopher and Max openly compare their very different patterns of use—daily use versus binge use—to demonstrate that how often or how much someone uses is far less important than the loss of control and the consequences.Throughout the episode, they share raw stories of secrecy, shame, manipulation, broken trust, physical and emotional exhaustion, and the relentless mental obsession that fuels addiction. They also challenge common misconceptions, such as “I wasn't that bad” or “I can handle it on my own,” and explain the crucial difference between having a drug problem and being an addict.Importantly, the episode isn't about labelling or diagnosing—it's about self-honesty. The hosts stress that no one else can decide if you're an addict; only you can. If the questions provoke discomfort, emotion, or recognition, that reaction itself may be meaningful.The episode closes with a message of hope: recovery is possible, help is available, and life on the other side of addiction is calmer, freer, and more authentic. Whether you're questioning your own use, worried about someone you love, or already on a recovery journey, Am I an Addict? offers insight, compassion, and a powerful starting point for change.

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas explore one of the most challenging and universal themes in recovery: self-obsession.Using real-life examples from their own relationships, parenting, road rage, social anxiety, and everyday interactions, Chris and Max unpack how self-obsession quietly drives emotional pain, conflict, and addictive thinking. The conversation is grounded in recovery literature, particularly the concept of The Triangle of Self Obsession—made up of resentment (the past), anger (the present), and fear (the future).The episode highlights how addiction can arrest emotional growth, leaving many addicts stuck in a childlike state where validation, control, and external approval are desperately sought. Chris reads and reflects on recovery literature that explains how most people naturally mature out of this phase, while addicts often medicate discomfort instead—delaying emotional maturity and reinforcing self-centered thinking.Throughout the episode, the hosts show how self-obsession plays out subtly: overthinking text messages, craving approval from strangers, feeling under-appreciated, reacting defensively, or assuming everything is a personal attack. They also emphasize that this isn't about shame—but awareness, responsibility, and action.Importantly, the episode offers hope and practical solutions. Chris and Max discuss how recovery tools—such as inventory, making amends, reaching out, acceptance, love, faith, and service to others—allow them to step out of the triangle. They stress that progress doesn't mean perfection, but rather increasing the space between emotional blow-ups and responding more like an adult than a child.The central message is clear and uncompromising: to break free from addiction and emotional suffering, we must break the triangle of self-obsession. We must grow up—or the disease will eventually destroy us.A raw, relatable, and compassionate episode that reminds listeners they are not alone—and that there is a solution.

In this honest, reflective episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down for an unfiltered conversation with no guest, using the space to openly process the emotional impact of the Christmas period in recovery.The episode explores how breaking routine over the holidays can deeply affect addicts in recovery, triggering emotional sensitivity, irritability, overthinking, and a return to old thought patterns such as blame, control, people-pleasing, and self-criticism. Both hosts discuss struggles with family dynamics, overstimulation, and the pressure of multiple personalities coming together during Christmas.They reflect on the importance of structure, routine, and daily recovery practices, highlighting how even a few days disconnected from meetings, sponsors, or recovery messages can leave them feeling unsettled. Themes of self-awareness versus self-obsession run throughout, as the hosts acknowledge that awareness can be both a gift and a curse.Food, body image, and control around diet and exercise are discussed candidly, with both men recognising long-standing struggles with obsession, self-worth, and aligning physical health with mental and spiritual wellbeing. The conversation also touches on injury, fear of failure, and the addictive mindset looking for excuses to step away from discipline.The episode moves into reflections on gratitude, connection, and service, contrasting their family-filled Christmas experiences with those who face loneliness or homelessness during the holidays. They acknowledge the vital role of fellowship, outreach events, and simple acts of connection—such as phone calls, messages, or small moments of kindness—in sustaining recovery.Spirituality features strongly, with discussions around church, prayer, meditation, Step 11, and the need to “fill the spiritual tank,” especially when life becomes busy or emotionally charged. Both hosts identify judgmental thinking as a warning sign that their recovery needs attention.Looking ahead to 2026, Chris and Max talk openly about growth areas: improving balance, deepening spiritual practice, embracing change in work and routine, seeking counselling, meditation, and continuing to give back through sponsorship and the podcast.The episode closes with powerful moments of gratitude, remembrance, and emotional reflection, reinforcing a central message: recovery is a daily practice, connection is essential, and growth comes from getting out of self and staying spiritually grounded.

Episode 100 of Addicted to Recovery is a big one. Christopher White and Max Thomas mark the milestone by sitting down with comedian and podcaster Dapper Laughs for a raw, honest, and at times emotional conversation about addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to turn your life around. Episode 100 - Dapper LaughsDapper Laughs opens up about his early relationship with drink and drugs, growing up around chaos, violence, and addiction, and using humour as a way to cope and fit in. What started as partying and bravado slowly turned into heavy cocaine use, emotional comedowns, and living life in extremes — highs followed by some very dark lows.He talks openly about being cancelled at the height of his career, losing work, public backlash, and how the death of his dad pushed him even further into addiction. Things reached a breaking point when he found himself suicidal and alone, leading to a late-night call to the Samaritans that would become a huge turning point in his life.The episode digs into how addiction doesn't always look the same for everyone — from binge users to daily users — and how mixing drink and drugs can seriously mess with your head. There's also a big focus on men's mental health, loneliness, and why so many men struggle to speak up before things spiral.Recovery hasn't been perfect or straightforward. Dapper Laughs talks honestly about detox, early sobriety driven by ego, struggling with meetings, and how easy it is to neglect recovery when life gets busy with work, kids, and success. He also shares why he set up the Facebook group Men and Their Emotions, giving lads a safe place to talk openly and support each other.Christopher and Max bring their own lived experience into the conversation, reinforcing powerful recovery truths: connection matters, ego can hold you back, and if you don't put recovery first, you risk losing everything else anyway.This episode is real, relatable, and full of hope — a reminder that no matter how messy things get, change is possible and you don't have to do it on your own.

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with their friend Matt to explore his journey through addiction, loss, and recovery.Matt shares how his struggles began long before substances entered the picture. Growing up feeling unseen, failing the 11+ exam, craving his father's approval, and later feeling physically and emotionally “behind” his peers all contributed to a deep sense of inadequacy. Football became his first escape, followed by cannabis in his early teens, which quickly developed into a daily habit that numbed his thoughts and emotions.As Matt moved into adulthood, his substance use escalated. Alcohol, cocaine, and cannabis became daily necessities rather than choices. What began as social use turned into years of chaotic, exhausting routines—using before work, drinking to cope, lying to loved ones, and living with constant shame and fear. Despite holding down a job in the building trade and appearing “functional,” Matt describes an inner life marked by isolation, dishonesty, and despair.Attempts to control or moderate his use only deepened the pain. After meeting a partner who challenged him to confront his addiction, Matt managed long periods of abstinence without support—white-knuckling sobriety while remaining mentally obsessed with alcohol. This period culminated in profound emotional turmoil, made even more devastating by the suicide of his brother.A turning point came when Matt was introduced to recovery literature and, soon after, attended his first NA meeting. For the first time, he saw himself clearly as an addict and recognised that “treats” and moderation were simply relapses in disguise. Although early recovery was uncomfortable and fear-filled, Matt stayed, listened, and slowly followed suggestions—getting a sponsor, working the steps, and learning how to be honest.Now approaching three years clean, Matt reflects on the freedom he's found through recovery: emotional peace, genuine friendships, integrity, and the ability to live life without constant self-medication. He speaks openly about the life-changing impact of Step Four, the importance of honesty, and how recovery has transformed not just his substance use, but his relationships and sense of self.This episode is a raw, relatable reminder that recovery is possible—even after decades of addiction—and that real change often happens slowly, subtly, and through connection with others who understand.

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with international fashion icon and long-term recovering addict Paul Sculfor. Paul opens up about his extraordinary journey — from the heights of the 1990s global fashion scene, elite parties, and international success, to the depths of addiction, burnout, and emotional collapse. With raw vulnerability, he shares how alcohol, cocaine, and compulsive behaviours slowly took control, despite outward success and discipline in his professional life.Paul reflects on childhood anxiety, fear, and the generational impact of trauma, and how those early experiences shaped his addiction. He takes us inside the moment when life finally became unmanageable — leading him to rehab, surrender, and a life-changing decision to step away from his career to focus solely on recovery. Now over 21 years clean, Paul speaks candidly about the 12-step program, trauma therapy, spiritual awakening, and what it truly means to live at ease with yourself. This episode is a must-listen for anyone in recovery, considering recovery, or seeking hope, honesty, and proof that real transformation is possible.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Steve, a long-time member of Gamblers Anonymous who has been in recovery for almost ten years. Steve offers a raw and honest insight into how his gambling addiction began, how it spiralled out of control, and how recovery has transformed his life.Steve describes growing up in a stable, loving household, with no obvious signs that addiction would ever be part of his life. Gambling entered harmlessly—small bets during family outings to the dog tracks, or casual football accumulators. However, in his early twenties, after taking a job in London, gambling shifted from occasional fun to a daily compulsion. Lunchtime visits to the bookies became a regular ritual; soon he was timing his breaks around race schedules, placing as many bets as possible, and craving the buzz and adrenaline that came with it. He explains how he would literally push past people in betting shops just to get a bet on, because being “in action” felt essential.As the addiction deepened, Steve's life became dominated by secrecy, debt, and anxiety. He began taking out loans, extending overdrafts multiple times in a week, and fabricating stories to hide the truth from his wife. He recounts a painful memory of promising to pay for a birthday dinner for both families. Although he briefly won enough money to cover the evening, he lost it all again on the way home, leading to desperate lies and shame. This incident was one of many that left him feeling trapped, exhausted, and sick with worry. Stress from gambling even led to chest pains so severe he ended up in hospital, although he admits he returned to gambling the very next day.By early 2016, the addiction had reached a breaking point. His wife discovered new loans and knew instantly that the gambling had returned. Steve describes this moment as the day his world collapsed—but also the day recovery truly began. His last bet was on 19 February 2016. A week later, once his family had dealt with an unrelated medical emergency, he attended his first Gamblers Anonymous meeting. He immediately felt a weight lift from his shoulders. For the first time, he was in a room full of people who understood exactly what he'd been through.Steve explains the power of GA: the unity, structure, honesty, and sense of belonging. Meetings helped him realise he could not recover alone. He embraced the practical safeguards too, handing full control of finances to his wife to avoid temptation. He continues to attend regularly and even chairs many meetings, sharing both his gambling history and the challenges of everyday life. He's learned to listen to others, accept guidance, and lean on the group whenever he feels vulnerable.Recovery has transformed Steve's daily life. He describes the relief of waking up without shame, hiding nothing from his wife, and being fully present for his children. He talks emotionally about watching his son play football or attending parents' evenings—moments he used to miss or experience through a fog of anxiety. Sobriety has brought his emotions back in a powerful way; sometimes overwhelming, but ultimately grounding and fulfilling.Towards the end of the episode, Steve offers advice to anyone still struggling. He urges them to walk into a meeting, even if it feels intimidating, and to take things one day at a time. Recovery, he explains, brings back not just stability, but time, honesty, connection, and a sense of self that addiction destroys. He emphasises that life will never be perfect, but the tools he's gained through GA allow him to handle challenges without turning back to gambling.The conversation closes with Steve reflecting on his gratitude for the life he has today—a life built on honesty, accountability, unity, and the daily choice to stay in recovery.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Simon, a long-time listener attending the show for the first time. Simon opens up about growing up in a loving and stable home, yet always feeling different, overly sensitive, and deeply uncomfortable in his own skin. As a child he experienced night terrors, sleepwalking, and early anxiety, eventually seeing a psychiatrist at just seven years old. Those feelings of not fitting in followed him into secondary school, where he struggled with identity, belonging, and self-worth.Simon shares how he discovered alcohol at thirteen and instantly fell in love with its ability to change how he felt about himself. From there his drug use progressed quickly—first cannabis, then speed, ecstasy and cocaine. By sixteen he was dealing to fund his habit. Although he tried at times to manage his using, especially once he became a father, alcohol remained constant. After his marriage broke down, his drinking and drug use intensified, leading him deeper into addiction.The turning point came at forty, when a dealer encouraged him to try crack cocaine. What followed was rapid decline: secret using, smoking crack while caring for his children, constant obsession, and repeated attempts to stop that only pushed him further down. Eventually he reached a devastating emotional and spiritual bottom, even attempting to overdose. During a desperate moment in “Dry January,” he reached out to a friend in recovery who took him to his first meeting. Simon describes feeling an immediate sense of safety and connection the moment he walked through the door.From that day, he has remained clean. Simon threw himself into the 12-step program, finding deep healing through the steps, especially in his moral inventory and amends. He shares powerful moments with his children, ex-wife, and parents—conversations filled with truth, vulnerability, and forgiveness. Today, with over 22 months clean, Simon lives a completely different life. He maintains regular meetings, service commitments, daily gratitude, and prayer. His relationships with his kids are strong, co-parenting is harmonious, his career has progressed, and even his brother has begun changing his own relationship with substances.This episode highlights the reality of addiction's progression, the pain it causes families, and the extraordinary transformation recovery can bring. Simon's story is one of honesty, humility, and real hope.

In this follow-up episode, George returns to share the powerful next chapter of his recovery journey. He talks openly about the family intervention that pushed him toward rehab, calling Grant at The Lighthouse, and entering treatment full of denial, fear, and withdrawal. Inside rehab, honesty, cross-addiction sessions, and the support of others slowly begin breaking through his denial.After leaving treatment, George dives into meetings and begins feeling moments of hope—only to experience a painful six-day relapse that becomes one of the darkest and most frightening periods of his life. That experience brings true willingness, leading him to commit fully to recovery with two rounds of 90 meetings in 90 days.George reflects on mental health challenges, including delayed psychosis and later being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and how he balances medication, stability, and recovery. He shares how he builds a personal understanding of a higher power through nature, step work, and daily practice.The episode explores steps four through seven, character defects, expectations, emotional maturity, and learning to correct behaviours quickly. George also describes making amends to his family—including tender moments with his parents and younger brother—and the ongoing amends he practices through being a present, loving father.Raw, reflective, and full of hope, George's story is a powerful reminder that recovery is messy, spiritual, practical, and life-changing—one day at a time.

In this powerful first part of George's story, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with their friend and fellow recovering addict, George — who shares a brutally honest look at his life before recovery.George recalls how Addicted to Recovery itself helped him through a dark patch when paranoia and self-doubt left him isolated. At two and a half years clean, he nearly relapsed — a stark reminder that no matter how long you've been sober, the disease of addiction can still whisper in your ear.He talks candidly about his early life: a sensitive, anxious child growing up in a loving family, but one marked by confusion and emotional turbulence after a violent incident at his parents' wedding. Experimentation with drink and drugs began young — alcohol at 12, cannabis at 13, pills at 14, cocaine by 15 — and soon spiraled into chaos.By 17, George was hospitalized twice with kidney failure, yet denial and ego kept him going. His late teens and early twenties were filled with drug use, risky work environments, toxic relationships, and growing internal conflict. A surprise pregnancy at 19 and becoming a father brought moments of clarity — but also fresh pain, guilt, and fear.Part One ends as George's life begins to unravel, setting the stage for his eventual decision to seek help and enter recovery — a story he'll share in next week's episode.

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, Paul Hannaford continues sharing his journey from addiction and crime to redemption and purpose. The conversation opens with Paul leaving the hospital after a long battle with drug abuse and serious leg injuries that nearly cost him his life. He reflects on the moment he chose recovery over returning to drugs — a decision that changed everything.Paul recounts his early struggles finding a treatment center, the kindness of hospital staff who let him stay five extra days, and the emotional start to his rehab journey at Hope House in Weston-super-Mare. He speaks candidly about crying daily during his first week in treatment, the emotional exhaustion of addiction, and the relief of finding genuine love and hope in recovery.From there, Paul's story unfolds as one of rebuilding — gaining his first home, paying his first bills, and trying new opportunities like extra work on TV shows. When acting didn't take off, he turned his focus toward service and purpose, volunteering to speak with young people about drugs, gangs, and crime. His first talk at a youth club sparked something huge — schools began inviting him to share his story, leading to thousands of talks across the UK.Paul describes how this new calling gave him “a spiritual experience,” replacing the high he once sought from drugs with the fulfillment of helping others. His talks gained recognition from major organizations like the London Fire Brigade, QPR, Reading FC, and other Premier League clubs, reaching millions of young people nationwide.The episode also explores Paul's personal redemption — reconciling with his mother and family, and an emotional reunion with his daughter after 15 years apart. His story comes full circle as he celebrates her 30th birthday, reflecting on the long journey from despair to peace, gratitude, and love.Throughout, Paul and the hosts discuss the nature of addiction, the power of connection, and the importance of ongoing spiritual growth. Paul's honesty about relapse, trauma, and perseverance serves as a raw and inspiring message: recovery is possible, and even the most broken lives can find purpose

In this gripping first part of a two-part conversation, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Paul Hannaford, whose story takes listeners from an ordinary East London childhood into the chaotic and heartbreaking world of addiction, crime, and survival.Paul speaks with raw honesty about his early life growing up in East Ham as the eldest of four boys, his deep love for his father, and the devastating impact of losing him to alcoholism and family breakdown. That loss became the seed of a lifetime of pain and searching — first through friendships with older boys, then through alcohol and cannabis, and later through crime. By just thirteen, Paul was experimenting with LSD and experiencing terrifying hallucinations that landed him in hospital. Within a year, he was in a young offenders' institution, where violence and humiliation at the hands of guards left him with a lifelong mistrust of authority.As he grew older, Paul's need for belonging drew him deeper into gang life. Violence, robbery, and the constant lure of danger became normal. By his late teens, he was drinking heavily, mixing with hardened criminals, and learning how to manipulate and survive on the streets. Then, at twenty-one, came the moment that changed everything: his first taste of heroin. What began as curiosity quickly became dependency. Within months, Paul went from an immaculately dressed young man in London nightclubs to a shadow of himself — homeless, desperate, and enslaved by addiction.Over the years that followed, Paul's life spiraled through prison cells, overdoses, and the brutal reality of life as a heroin and crack cocaine addict. He became one of the most prolific thieves in the country, stealing millions of pounds' worth of goods to feed his habit. His body began to fail him — abscesses, infected veins, and open wounds that would never fully heal. Yet through it all, he continued chasing the same illusion of peace that had hooked him in that first hit.Part One ends at the darkest point of Paul's story — near death, spiritually broken, and completely lost. But it's here that the seeds of change begin to take root, leading into the powerful redemption and recovery that unfold in Part Two.Raw, emotional, and unflinchingly honest, this episode is a journey through trauma, addiction, and survival — a story that reminds us how far a person can fall, and how incredible it is when they find the strength to rise again.

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Chris and Max sit down with psychotherapist and fellow recovering addict Nick for an honest and deeply relatable conversation about addiction, emotional regulation, and the ongoing work of recovery. Nick shares how daily mindfulness, breathwork, and shifting focus from self-centeredness to service have transformed his life, while the trio discuss how intense emotions, reactive behaviors, and childhood coping mechanisms shape the recovery journey. They explore vulnerability as an act of courage, the importance of honesty in healing, and the role of parenting in teaching emotional balance. Nick also introduces his new venture, The Recovery Cartel, a recovery-themed merchandise brand created to inspire and support the recovery community. Full of practical insights, raw stories, and heartfelt reflection, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking connection, growth, and hope on the path to lasting recovery.

In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Louise, one of their patrons and a fellow recovering addict, to share a raw and inspiring story of transformation, resilience, and hope.Louise opens up about her turbulent past, marked by childhood trauma, addiction, abusive relationships, and time spent in prison. From stealing as a young girl and seeking validation through destructive behaviors, to falling into substance abuse by age 13 and entering a relationship with a much older man, Louise's early life was chaotic and painful. Her addiction spiraled from alcohol and cocaine use to crack cocaine, street prostitution, and repeated prison sentences.Despite multiple failed attempts at rehab and fleeting periods of sobriety, Louise's turning point came after a rapid methadone detox in prison and a placement at a 12-step treatment center. There, hearing another woman share a story that mirrored her own changed everything — sparking the desire to recover and breaking the obsession to use.Louise's recovery journey hasn't been easy. She speaks candidly about working the 12 steps, confronting deep-rooted trauma (including sexual abuse by her father), and making amends. She highlights the transformative power of service work — from H&I shares in prisons to sponsoring newcomers — and the importance of community and connection in staying clean.Now over two years and five months clean, Louise is rebuilding her life. She's completed courses in bookkeeping and accounting, moved to Leicester to be with her supportive partner, and is planning a future full of possibility — including driving lessons and a holiday to Paris. She's also courageously participating in legal action against a perpetrator to help prevent further harm to others.Louise's story is a testament to the power of recovery, perseverance, and the life-changing impact of one addict helping another. As Max puts it, “If you can do it, anyone can.”

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas dive into the theme of freedom in recovery. Fresh from celebrating his 40th birthday in New York, Max shares the profound sense of freedom he felt — being comfortable in his own skin, no longer bound by old habits, secrecy, or shame.The conversation explores:The difference between simply attending meetings and actively working the 12 steps.Why recovery is more than abstinence — it's about transformation, honesty, and service.Personal stories of past birthdays clouded by addiction versus the joy and authenticity of living clean today.The mental health struggles men face, especially around silence, shame, and suicide — and the importance of talking openly.How milestones like turning 40 highlight the need for reflection, health, and building a future with purpose.With honesty and vulnerability, Christopher and Max remind us that true freedom comes not just from putting down substances, but from doing the deeper work to live fully, without secrets, and in connection with others.

In this raw and deeply moving episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Alex, a fellow recovering addict, to explore his incredible journey from addiction, violence, and prison to love, stability, and a new life in recovery.Alex opens up about growing up in a loving family but feeling different from an early age — plagued by anxiety, intense emotions, and a constant sense of not fitting in. As a teenager, alcohol and drugs quickly became his escape. Drawn to the thrill and sense of belonging in football culture, Alex found himself swept up in a lifestyle of pubs, violence, and chaos. What started as weekend drinking spiraled into daily substance use, destructive relationships, and eventually, serious legal trouble.After a series of arrests, Alex served over two years in prison. While behind bars, he discovered meditation and fitness as temporary anchors, but the deep-rooted issues of addiction remained unresolved. Upon his release, Alex initially tried to rebuild his life, but without a recovery plan, he quickly fell back into old patterns of drinking and using. His turning point came after a devastating arrest outside a prison while visiting a friend — a moment that deeply impacted his fiancée, Leandra, and forced Alex to confront the truth about his addiction.With Leandra's support, Alex took his first brave steps toward recovery through therapy and a structured program called Aspirations. Eventually, he found fellowship meetings, where he slowly began to open up, connect with others, and take suggestions. It wasn't easy — early recovery brought anger, resistance, and multiple relapses — but Alex kept coming back.Now, at 18 months clean, Alex shares how service work, accountability, and a new community of friends have transformed his life. From crashing cars and toxic relationships to proposing to the love of his life after a recovery meeting, Alex's story is a testament to the power of change, resilience, and hope.This episode dives deep into what it really means to let go, rebuild, and find freedom from addiction. Whether you're on your own recovery journey or supporting someone who is, Alex's experience will inspire and remind you that no matter how dark it gets, a new life is always possible.

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, Christopher and Max sit down with Steve, who is just shy of 18 months clean. Steve shares a deeply personal and moving story of addiction, family struggles, and redemption.The conversation begins with Steve's early life, growing up in a divided and often chaotic household. His parents' divorce and a lack of love and stability left him anxious and withdrawn. As a teenager, Steve gravitated toward older friends and environments where alcohol and drugs were normalized, leading to his first experiences with cocaine and, shockingly, smoking crack by the age of 16.Over time, Steve's substance use spiraled, fueled by unresolved childhood trauma, grief over losing his beloved brother Michael, and the breakdown of his marriage to Michelle. What started as recreational use of cocaine evolved into a destructive addiction, marked by psychosis, self-harm, and total isolation. At his lowest point, Steve was consuming half-ounce quantities of drugs alone while his mental health collapsed.The turning point came after a near-fatal incident driving under the influence and a welfare check that forced him to confront his situation. After reaching out for help, Steve attended his first recovery meeting, where he immediately felt a sense of belonging and hope. He has remained clean since that day.Today, Steve is thriving in recovery. Through working the steps with his sponsor, attending meetings, and giving back to others, he has built a life of peace and purpose. He reflects on the transformation from living in fear, shame, and chaos to finding stability, gratitude, and self-awareness

In this powerful episode, Christopher and Max take listeners on an honest and raw journey through addiction, recovery, and hope. They begin by discussing the stigma surrounding addiction and how even some medical professionals fail to fully understand it, focusing only on the substances rather than the deeper illness.As the conversation unfolds, both hosts open up about their darkest days — the lies, shame, and destruction caused by their addiction. Christopher shares his near-daily struggles during his final two years of using, highlighting the cycle of chaos and the breaking point that finally led him to rehab. Max talks about the fear of losing his family, the moment he realized how far he had fallen, and how that desperation pushed him toward recovery.Listeners will hear deeply personal reflections on:The isolating and exhausting nature of addictionThe transformative power of recovery and spiritual awakeningLearning to sit with emotions without needing to escapeThe importance of honesty, community, and consistent action through meetingsHow family relationships can be rebuilt through trust and changeThe episode closes with a message of hope and practical advice for newcomers or anyone struggling: attend meetings, keep showing up, and don't give up after just one attempt. Christopher and Max remind us that while addiction is a killer, recovery is possible — and life on the other side can be filled with love, purpose, and freedom.

In this deeply moving episode, Chris and Max sit down with their friend Dean, who opens up about his lifelong battle with addiction, starting with gambling as a child and spiraling into decades of drug use. Dean shares how his life unraveled—from the highs of the rave scene to the devastating lows of losing his family, home, and self-respect.Through the 12-step program and unwavering support from others in recovery, Dean found freedom and a new way of living. Now over ten years clean, Dean reflects on the power of surrender, the importance of service, and his evolving relationship with faith and spirituality.This episode is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and a reminder that no matter how far gone you feel, recovery is possible—one day at a time.Support the Show: If you've been impacted by Addicted to Recovery and want access to bonus episodes, daily affirmations, and more, support us on Patreon at patreon.com/addictedtorecovery.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, Chris and Max welcome Rachel, who opens up about her journey from drinking three liters of vodka a day to finding freedom in sobriety. She shares candidly about her struggles with fear, shame, and family, and the turning point that led her to rehab and the 12 steps. Now over 17 months sober, Rachel reflects on parenting in recovery, rebuilding trust, and the importance of service. Her story is one of resilience, hope, and the life-changing miracle of recovery.

In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Luke, whose story of survival through childhood trauma, addiction, crime, and eventual redemption will leave you inspired.Addicted to amphetamines by his own mother at just 13, Luke grew up in a world of drugs, violence, and instability. He opens up about enduring abuse, falling into crime, serving time in prison, and how addiction consumed his life for years.Luke shares the pivotal moments that forced him to confront his destructive path—from a brutal attack by dealers to the devastating loss of a loved one—and how recovery finally gave him the strength to rebuild.Now over ten months clean, Luke reflects on the transformation that has brought him peace, purpose, and hope for the future.This is a raw, honest conversation about pain, resilience, and the power of recovery.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas welcome guest Daryl (aka R33DY D), who courageously shares his journey through addiction, childhood struggles, and recovery.Daryl opens up about living with autism, ADHD, and dyslexia, which made social situations and school life especially difficult. He recalls feeling uncomfortable in his own skin from an early age, masking insecurities by being the class clown, and later finding escape in raves, ecstasy, speed, and cocaine. Drugs temporarily quieted his restless mind but quickly spiraled into paranoia, toxic relationships, and destructive cycles that cost him family, businesses, and ultimately his sense of self.He speaks candidly about the selfishness of addiction—missing key family moments, naming his son after cocaine, and pawning his late father's jewelry to fund his habit. These painful memories highlight how unmanageable his life had become.The turning point came in 2019, when he finally walked into a 12-step meeting. Although terrified, he found the fellowship, a sponsor, and the structure of recovery. Today, Daryl has over six years clean, has worked through the steps, and maintains a daily spiritual routine of prayer and gratitude.Now, his passion lies in music and DJing. Sober, he has rediscovered his love for performing, producing, and playing in clubs across London, Spain, and even Ibiza. He describes being behind the decks as his purest form of peace and meditation.This episode is a powerful testament to resilience, honesty, and the transformation possible through recovery. Daryl's story reminds listeners that while addiction isolates, recovery reconnects us with who we truly are—and with life itself.

In this powerful and raw episode, Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Ben K, a fellow recovering addict who shares his deeply personal journey through two decades of relapse, recovery, and everything in between. Ben opens up about the emotional turbulence of fatherhood, managing Crohn's disease, and the lifelong impact of addiction—not just on himself, but on those around him.From a spontaneous invitation to the podcast to a moving reflection on his 18 months of solid recovery, Ben's story highlights how addiction isn't always about substances—it's about control, fear, shame, and self-worth. Together, the trio dive into the challenges of maintaining emotional sobriety, the danger of spiritual complacency, and the transformative power of surrender.This episode is an honest look at what recovery really looks like: messy, beautiful, and always evolving. Whether you're new to recovery, a loved one of someone struggling, or just curious about the reality behind addiction, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and hope.

In this moving and powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher and Max sit down with longtime friend and recurring guest Darren, who is celebrating an incredible milestone—15 years of continuous clean time.The conversation kicks off with Darren reflecting on the deep emotional impact of reaching 15 years clean. He shares feelings of overwhelming gratitude, humility, and astonishment that he's come so far, especially when he once believed sobriety was impossible.Throughout the episode, Darren recounts critical turning points in his recovery, including:A moment of grace when a stranger gave his wife £10 to get him to a drug service—what he calls the “butterfly effect” that started his journey.The internal battles he faced not in using, but in trying to stay clean and confront life without drugs.The profound impact of losing his sponsor and later his mother—and how he stayed clean and present through grief by leaning into the fellowship and continuing to serve others.A major theme of the episode is service. Darren is known for his relentless commitment to sponsoring others, often juggling up to 10 sponsees across the world. He shares his philosophy on working with relapsers, the importance of patience and presence, and why he never gives up on anyone.The episode also dives into Darren's daily recovery routine:Morning prayer and meditationWeekly Step 10 inventoriesContinuous service and sponsorshipSeeking and offering support through lived experienceDarren and the hosts reflect on the power of connection, the importance of being visible in recovery, and how moments of vulnerability—like Darren sharing openly during his mother's passing—can become beacons of hope for others.The conversation is filled with warmth, wisdom, and reminders of why clean time, no matter the length, is sacred. Darren's humility and heart shine as he says: “I'm only doing what was given to me.”Whether you're new to recovery, supporting someone who is, or deep into your journey, this episode is a testament to the transformative power of recovery, fellowship, and love in action.

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Gavin, a leader in Believers in Recovery UK, to hear his extraordinary journey through addiction, recovery, and faith. Gavin opens up about his traumatic past—from life on the streets and multiple relapses, to surviving paralysis and spiritual despair. His turning point came not just from 12-step programs but through a life-changing encounter with faith.Listeners will hear raw, unfiltered truths about addiction, the importance of spiritual growth in recovery, and why Gavin believes healing must happen on three levels: with God, yourself, and others. He shares how he went from IV drug use and homelessness to leading a national recovery movement and being asked to become a church leader.This is an episode about hope, purpose, and the transformative power of recovery—wherever you are on your journey.

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with their courageous friend Anthea to hear her incredible journey through addiction, loss, recovery, and resilience.Anthea opens up about her early life, the emotional impact of fractured family dynamics, and how trauma shaped her path. She shares harrowing experiences from teenage years marked by substance abuse and unstable living conditions, including the devastating loss of her first child to cot death—a tragedy that became a turning point in her spiral into addiction.With raw honesty and heartfelt emotion, Anthea talks about living on the streets, encounters with the criminal justice system, and ultimately, the moment she knew something had to change. She walks us through her transformative journey into recovery, the miracle of reconnecting with her children, and the strength she's found through fellowship and support.This episode is a testament to the power of recovery, the beauty of redemption, and the unbreakable human spirit. Whether you're in recovery, know someone who is, or are simply drawn to real stories of hope and transformation—this one will stay with you.

In this deeply moving episode, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas are joined by special guest Stacey—a fellow recovering addict whose story comes full circle in a way that's nothing short of inspiring.What starts with a brave Instagram message to Christopher becomes a life-changing journey of healing, connection, and service. Stacey opens up with raw honesty about his early struggles, the traumatic experiences that shaped his addiction, and the moment he decided he could no longer run from the truth. From daily drug use and family heartbreak to 447 days clean, Stacey's story is a powerful reminder of the transformative potential of recovery.The trio explores the emotional weight of childhood trauma, the misconceptions surrounding recovery meetings, and the crucial role of community and vulnerability in healing. With moments of laughter, insight, and real-talk about navigating life clean, this episode is as heartbreaking as it is hopeful.If you or someone you know is struggling, this conversation may be the encouragement they need to reach out.Join the community: patreon.com/addictedtorecoverypodcast

In this powerful and emotionally charged episode, Chris and Max sit down—just the two of them—to explore one of the most personal and universal themes in addiction recovery: relationships. With no guests and no filters, the conversation dives deep into the damage caused by addiction to romantic partnerships, family bonds, and friendships, and the long, often painful journey of rebuilding those connections in sobriety.Chris and Max open up with raw honesty. Max reflects on the pain he caused his wife and family during active addiction, and how his recovery journey helped him regain trust and deepen the love that had once been broken. Chris shares how his addiction led him to hurt those closest to him, and how shame, guilt, and the need for change pushed him to finally seek help and start rebuilding his life. They speak candidly about the realities of being absent fathers and broken sons, and how consistency, service, and spiritual growth have helped them become dependable, loving partners, parents, and friends.This episode also explores the emotional toll of manipulation and dishonesty, the importance of walking away from unhealthy relationships, and the joy of forging meaningful connections within sober communities. Chris and Max reflect on the strength of their friendship and the unique bonds formed in recovery, underlining the importance of community, accountability, and mutual support.It's a moving and relatable conversation that reminds listeners that no relationship is beyond repair. With time, honest action, and a willingness to grow, healing is not only possible—it's transformative.

In this gripping episode of Addicted to Recovery, Christopher and Max sit down with David — a man whose addiction story defies stereotypes. After decades of casual drug and alcohol use, David's life was turned upside down at age 50 when he tried ketamine for the first time. What began as curiosity spiraled into daily dependency, health crises, isolation, and ultimately near-death.David shares his brutally honest account of falling in love with the disconnection ketamine offered, the physical and mental toll it took, and the moment he finally surrendered. His story is a powerful reminder that addiction can strike at any age — but so can recovery.

In this powerful and candid episode, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas welcome their friend and fellow recovering addict, Dave — aka Lord David Hogg — to share his remarkable story of addiction and recovery.Dave opens up about his upbringing in a loving but emotionally detached household, his early experiences with drugs, and how his high-octane lifestyle spiraled out of control. From a successful career in the City, rubbing shoulders with the elite and dating royalty, to living in his car while battling crack and heroin addiction, Dave's story is both gripping and humbling.Listeners will hear about the critical turning points in Dave's life — including a failed suicide attempt, interventions from loved ones, and his eventual commitment to recovery through the 12-step program. He discusses the transformative power of getting a sponsor, working the steps, and finding real connection in the recovery community.With humour, raw honesty, and heartfelt gratitude, Dave reflects on his 16 months clean and the daily practices that keep him grounded today. This episode is a testament to the miracles that can happen when we surrender and embrace recovery.

In this powerful and unfiltered episode of Addicted to Recovery, we sit down with Charlotte, a courageous woman from Clacton who shares her harrowing and inspiring journey through 23 years of addiction. From her early exposure to drugs at age 11, brushes with the law, and years of using crack and heroin, to experiencing the devastating effects of psychosis and repeated prison sentences—Charlotte opens up with raw honesty about the darkness that once consumed her life.But this episode is about more than suffering—it's about transformation. Charlotte takes us through the moment she found hope through the 12-step program, the daily practices that keep her grounded, and how connection, community, and a higher power have helped her rebuild a life she once thought was beyond saving.Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking inspiration, Charlotte's story is a must-listen. It's a testament to the human spirit and the life-saving power of recovery.

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, Chris and Max sit down with their friend Dan, who shares a raw and unflinching account of his journey through addiction and recovery.Dan reflects on a difficult childhood marked by emotional discomfort, parental separation, and a persistent feeling of being on the outside looking in. Even from a young age, he felt fear, rejection, and a lack of belonging.Introduced to ecstasy at just 12 years old while in care, Dan describes the initial relief it brought him — the silence of fear and anxiety — and how this instant escape became his "medication" of choice.He candidly recounts being bounced through children's homes, a secure unit, and juvenile prisons, gradually adopting a hardened persona that masked his internal pain. The story paints a sobering picture of how institutional settings shaped his identity.Dan talks openly about committing robberies, bullying, manipulating loved ones, and living with overwhelming guilt and shame. One particularly harrowing moment includes self-inflicted injuries to deceive his family for drug money — a stark illustration of addiction's depths.A moment of clarity comes during a stint in solitary confinement, where Dan breaks down emotionally and begins to accept that he needs help. This turning point, sparked by the echo of a support group's moment of silence, sets him on the path to recovery.Dan's journey through rehab, Narcotics Anonymous, and therapy helped him begin rebuilding his life. He shares what it's like to come out of prison and into recovery, experiencing community, kindness, and eventually giving back through service.Despite periods of clean time — even working in addiction services — Dan experienced multiple relapses, underscoring how fragile recovery can be without consistent effort. He reflects honestly on the mistakes that led him back to using and the lessons those experiences taught him.Now five months clean at the time of recording, Dan emphasises the importance of staying connected, attending meetings, and practising the principles of recovery daily. His story is one of perseverance, self-awareness, and hope.

In this powerful and candid episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas are joined by Kaitlin, a mother and recovering addict, who shares her deeply personal journey to sobriety as she marks an incredible milestone: 1,000 days clean.Kaitlin reflects on a childhood marked by instability, emotional neglect, and early signs of addictive behaviours such as escapism and secretive eating. As a teenager, she turned to alcohol and cannabis to self-soothe, which quickly led to heavier drug use and a progressive addiction that continued into adulthood. Despite becoming a mother, her dependency deepened, culminating in physical and emotional breakdowns, paranoia, and brushes with death. At one stage, she was even told she might never walk again.Her turning point came in the form of a spiritual epiphany — a moment of clarity that led her to seek support through a 12-step fellowship. Kaitlin speaks openly about the initial difficulties of recovery, particularly detaching from cannabis, which she describes as her hardest substance to quit. She also reflects on the grief she experienced in letting go of her old lifestyle and the fear of losing her children, which had long kept her from seeking help.Now 1,000 days sober, Kaitlin has found a sense of peace, stability, and renewed purpose. She is passionate about helping others, especially mothers who may be silently struggling with addiction. Through her social media channel, Sober as a Mother Focused, she shares honest insights, experiences, and support to challenge stigma and offer hope.This episode is a moving reminder of the strength it takes to get clean, the importance of community and honesty in recovery, and the life-changing rewards of staying the course.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas speak with Sarah Jane Clark, who shares her powerful story of overcoming food addiction.Sarah explains how ultra-processed foods are designed to be addictive, using combinations of sugar, fat and salt to override the body's natural signals. She draws parallels between food addiction and drug or alcohol dependency—highlighting the shame, secrecy and emotional pain that often drives compulsive behaviours.As a teenager, Sarah was caught in the cycle of dieting and bingeing, influenced by damaging messages from the diet industry. By 25, she weighed nearly 22 stone and was warned by her GP that she might not live to 40. That moment pushed her to make a change, starting with a walk in the dark to avoid being seen.Rather than extreme diets, Sarah focused on sustainable habits—swapping sugary drinks for water, cooking at home, and walking daily. These small steps eventually led to a 12-stone weight loss, improved mental clarity and the return of her overall health.Crucially, Sarah began working on her emotional wellbeing. Through books like You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, she learned to confront her past, build self-worth, and introduce healthy boundaries. She now helps others through her support group, Step by Step with Sarah Jane, offering guidance rooted in lived experience.The hosts explore shared themes of addiction, stigma, and recovery. They discuss the limitations of NHS support and how social media and marketing create confusion around food and health. Sarah recommends practical tools like the Yucca app and the book Ultra-Processed People by Dr Chris van Tulleken to help people make more informed choices.Sarah's message is clear: change is possible with consistency, compassion and community. Her story is not just about weight loss, but healing—physically, mentally and emotionally.

In this episode, Nick from Brighton shares his compelling journey through addiction, denial, and eventual recovery. Raised in a supportive yet emotionally reserved family, Nick describes how early struggles with insecurity and a need for approval led to escalating substance use, beginning with alcohol and cannabis and progressing to cocaine and daily use.Working in high-pressure construction roles, Nick's substance use intensified. Despite multiple attempts to moderate or stop, it was not until a pivotal moment of self-realisation that he chose to seek change. He discusses the limitations of mere abstinence and the significant impact of engaging with a structured recovery program.Nick outlines the transformative role of community, consistency, and spiritual growth in sustaining long-term recovery. He credits service, step work, and regular meetings as key elements of his progress and now dedicates time to helping others.This episode provides a candid account of the realities of addiction and offers clear insight into the practical steps and mindset required for lasting recovery.

In this powerful and heartfelt episode, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas welcome guest Sid, a recovering addict and now a pastor, to share his incredible journey from chaos to redemption. Sid opens up about a loving but challenging childhood, early defiance, school struggles, and the lure of attention-seeking behaviors that led him into a life of crime, addiction, and repeated incarceration.Sid's story is marked by profound experiences — including the trauma of alopecia at a young age, years lost to heroin addiction, and time spent in both youth and adult prisons. He speaks openly about the insanity and devastation caused by his drug use, relationships that suffered, and the deep shame he carried.However, the turning point came when Sid had a spiritual awakening while serving time. Introduced to faith through a prison chaplain, Sid began to reconnect with the values his parents instilled in him. He shares how this encounter sparked a transformation, eventually leading him to Bible college, a new life with his wife, and a calling to become a pastor.The conversation also touches on the addictive design of modern life — from smartphones to fast food — and the importance of long-term gratification, self-awareness, and community in recovery. Sid's testimony illustrates that while the road is long and messy, real change is possible with honesty, connection, and spiritual grounding.A moving reminder that recovery isn't linear — but it is worth it.

In this deeply moving episode of Addicted to Recovery, titled From Civil War to Self-War: Raph's Recovery Story, Raph shares the powerful and unfiltered story of his life—from a childhood marked by abuse and trauma to the grip of addiction and the eventual road to healing. Growing up in Sierra Leone during a brutal civil war, Raph witnessed and experienced extreme hardship that left lasting emotional scars. Upon returning to the UK, he found himself struggling with the familiar environment that reignited past pain and unresolved trauma. With no healthy outlet for coping, he turned to substance use, which quickly spiraled into addiction and drug dealing.Raph's journey illustrates how deeply family dynamics, childhood experiences, and environmental triggers can shape a person's path. What started as a way to numb the pain soon became a dangerous lifestyle with serious consequences. His story serves as a reminder that addiction doesn't discriminate and can escalate faster than expected. It was only after hitting rock bottom—facing the full weight of his decisions and their consequences—that Raph found the strength to begin again.Recovery, as Raph explains, is not a one-time event but a continuous, evolving process. He credits his transformation to the unwavering support of a recovery community, the commitment to personal growth, and the powerful sense of purpose he discovered through serving others. Today, Raph not only lives free from addiction but also helps others who are walking the same path he once did. His story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the healing power of connection, compassion, and change.Throughout the episode, Raph's raw honesty is captured in unforgettable sound bites such as, “I was getting beats every night,” “I was eating out of dustbins,” and “I promised my nan I'm not gonna smoke no more.” His words resonate deeply, painting a vivid picture of suffering, survival, and ultimately, redemption.

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Chris White and Max Thomas are joined by Shamil, who shares his remarkable story of addiction, rock bottom, and transformation. Shamil speaks openly about growing up in London, his early encounters with alcohol, and how casual substance use developed into a full-blown addiction to cocaine and alcohol by his late twenties.He reflects on the struggles of working in education while secretly battling addiction, repeated hospital admissions, and the painful descent into homelessness, life-threatening health conditions, and profound isolation.However, Shamil's story is ultimately one of hope and redemption. Through full surrender, deep spiritual work, and complete commitment to the 12-Step programme, he found a new way to live. Now, with over two and a half years' sobriety, Shamil works in the same hospital where he was once a patient, helping others on their journey to recovery.This episode is filled with powerful insights about emotional healing, the importance of honesty, and the ongoing need for consistency, humility, and spiritual maintenance. Shamil's authenticity and humility shine as he reminds listeners that "everywhere I go, I take God with me" — a moving testament to living a sober life, one day at a time.

In this powerful and heartfelt episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with guest Alex, a fellow recovering addict, to explore his lived experience of gambling addiction.The conversation starts with a nostalgic reflection as Alex and Max realise they once attended the same school — both unaware at the time that beneath the surface, they were already battling the early signs of addiction. Alex shares his story openly, tracing the roots of his compulsive gambling back to childhood, shaped by family separation, emotional instability, and early exposure to betting through his father's habits.Alex's journey is marked by emotional vulnerability, financial ruin, and the manipulation that so often accompanies addiction. He speaks candidly about his pattern of deception, the toxic cycle of winning and chasing losses, and the crushing shame that kept him isolated for years. His story highlights the often invisible nature of gambling addiction — one that doesn't always carry the visible signs of other dependencies but is just as destructive.Throughout the conversation, Max and Chris reflect on the shared emotional struggles underlying addiction — the inner void, the hunger for validation, and the disconnect between how they appeared to the world and how they felt inside. Alex recounts the moments where addiction had him trapped, including the extraordinary highs and lows of gambling away over £120,000 in a single weekend, and the devastating impact this had on his relationships, self-worth and mental health.Despite the setbacks, Alex also shares how he has begun rebuilding his life. He talks about finding strength through community, his experiences in rehabilitation, and the importance of peer support. Now four months clean — the longest since his addiction began — Alex has also founded Walking and Talking, a safe and non-judgemental group for those struggling with gambling, offering connection and support through simple conversation and companionship.The episode closes on an uplifting note, with Max and Chris emphasising the importance of fellowship, recovery programmes, self-reflection, and honest conversation. Together, they highlight that addiction is about far more than substances or behaviours — it's about the internal battles and emotional wounds we try to numb — and that lasting recovery is possible through connection, action, and community.

This week on Addicted to Recovery, Chris and Max sit down with a very special guest: Michelle Heaton, singer, television personality, and beloved member of the pop group Liberty X. Michelle shares her powerful and deeply personal story as she approaches a major milestone — four years of sobriety.In an open and heartfelt conversation, Michelle reflects on her rise to fame, her early life growing up in Newcastle, and the pressures of the music industry that quietly fed into her struggle with addiction. Despite having no family history of addiction, Michelle speaks candidly about always feeling “different” as a child, and how performing became her first emotional escape long before substances entered the picture.The trio explore the complex path from social drinking and partying at the height of Liberty X's success, to the slow and painful progression into daily dependence. Michelle bravely recounts her battles with alcohol and how her early menopause after a hysterectomy acted as a turning point in her descent into addiction. She discusses the devastating impact it had on her relationships, her health, and her self-worth — including hospital visits where doctors warned her she would not survive if she continued drinking.Michelle opens up about her rock bottom moment, the pivotal support from her husband, close friends like Katie Price, and her journey into rehab during the COVID-19 pandemic. She shares the emotional experience of receiving letters from loved ones during treatment, which forced her to confront the full scope of her addiction and the damage it had caused.Throughout the conversation, Michelle also highlights the ongoing importance of fellowship meetings, spiritual growth, and daily routines that sustain her sobriety. She now uses her platform to break the stigma around addiction, offering hope and inspiration to others who are struggling.This is a raw, honest, and uplifting episode about resilience, recovery, and the life-changing gift of living fully present — just in time for Michelle to celebrate her incredible four-year sobriety anniversary.

In this deeply moving episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Marie, a recovering addict and founder of a life-changing charity for women involved in street prostitution. With raw honesty and vulnerability, Marie opens up about her personal battles with addiction, the lasting effects of childhood trauma, and how those experiences shaped her path.Marie shares how clean time has become a cornerstone of her accountability and personal growth, emphasising that staying sober is about more than simply abstaining from substances—it's about healing emotionally and mentally. She reflects on the profound impact of unresolved trauma from her early life, and how it fed into the patterns of her addiction. From a young age, Marie felt different and disconnected, leading her to seek comfort in destructive behaviours, including food and substance abuse.Her story unfolds with powerful moments of hardship, from early motherhood and turbulent relationships to the devastating consequences of addiction. Yet within that darkness, Marie found a turning point—a moment of clarity that propelled her towards recovery. Through multiple cycles of relapse and surrender, she began building a new life rooted in self-awareness, community, and service.Marie speaks candidly about the importance of self-soothing and emotional regulation in recovery, and how learning to face discomfort without escape was transformative. She also discusses the healing power of making amends and rebuilding broken relationships, a process that brought deeper understanding and peace into her life.Today, Marie dedicates her life to supporting women trapped in cycles of street prostitution and addiction, using her own journey as a beacon of hope. Her work through her charity not only helps others, but continues to ground her own recovery, giving her purpose and fulfilment. This episode is a powerful reminder that recovery is not a destination—it's a lifelong journey of self-discovery, connection, and giving back.

What if the key to lasting change wasn't some grand plan, but simply focusing on today? In this episode, the hosts explore the power of living in the moment, discussing how a "just for today" mindset can help overcome anxiety, break negative habits, and build a more fulfilling life.A special highlight of this episode is Max's incredible milestone—six years of clean time. He opens up about his journey, the struggles he has faced, and the lessons that have shaped him along the way. His story is a raw and inspiring reminder that real transformation happens one day at a time. The hosts reflect on the power of personal milestones and why celebrating progress, no matter how small, is essential to long-term success.The conversation is filled with real-life insights and practical strategies to stay motivated without feeling overwhelmed. Rather than getting lost in the pressure of long-term goals, they discuss how small, consistent actions can create lasting change. With personal stories, humour, and heartfelt reflections, this episode is both inspiring and deeply relatable.If you're looking for motivation, fresh perspectives, or simple yet powerful ways to make each day count, this is an episode you won't want to miss. Tune in and discover how embracing “just for today” can shift your mindset and transform your life.

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Raymond Ramos, a passionate advocate for recovery who has dedicated his life to helping addicts find hope and healing. Having been in recovery for over 34 years, Raymond shares his journey from addiction to a life of service and transformation.Raymond has been sharing his story in UK and US prisons for over 13 years, emphasizing the importance of hope and transformation. He discusses the impact of his visits, how prisoners react to his Brooklyn accent, and the power of seeing someone who once walked their path now living a fulfilling life in recovery. He stresses that carrying the message to those in dark places is his most meaningful service work.The role of service in recovery is a central theme in this episode. Raymond emphasizes the importance of H&I (Hospitals & Institutions) service, recalling how he first heard the message of recovery in a similar setting. He encourages consistent service, noting that people often stop doing what worked for them once they get clean, which can lead to relapse. The conversation highlights the significance of simple service commitments, like making coffee at meetings, and how they contribute to stability and responsibility.Raymond shares his childhood struggles, growing up in Brooklyn as a Nuyorican with a single mother and experiencing deep-seated trauma, including his mother's grief over losing a child and his own battle with a congenital heart disease. He talks about the emotional pain of an absent father and how early feelings of shame, abandonment, and separation anxiety planted the seeds for addiction. Reflecting on recovery, he discusses how step work helped him uncover and address these underlying wounds.His addiction began early, starting with alcohol at the age of five and progressing to marijuana by age ten. By 13, he was using cocaine, and at 15, he was smoking crack. He describes how his life quickly spiraled, leading him to crime, violence, and a complete loss of control. His turning point came at 17, when he heard an H&I speaker share the message of recovery, sparking hope and change. Since getting clean, he has dedicated his life to helping others, particularly those who are still suffering in jails and institutions.Raymond discusses the necessity of a spiritual solution in recovery, sharing that many people relapse because they neglect their spiritual growth. He explains that addiction isn't just about substances—it's a disease that affects the mind, body, and soul. The conversation highlights the importance of humility, continued learning, and staying connected to recovery principles.This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the life-changing potential of recovery. Raymond's story is one of transformation, resilience, and service, making it an inspiring listen for anyone struggling with addiction or working in the recovery space.Tune in to Addicted to Recovery for more raw and real conversations about the journey to sobriety.

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas sit down with Lorraine, a remarkable woman who shares her incredible story of overcoming decades of addiction. Lorraine opens up about her struggles, from early experiences with bulimia and obsessive studying to years of drug and alcohol dependence. She takes us through her darkest moments—three stints in rehab, near-death experiences, and the toll addiction took on her family—before finding lasting recovery.Now three years clean, Lorraine reflects on the transformation that recovery has brought to her life. She shares insights into the power of the NA and AA fellowships, the importance of service and sponsorship, and how her connection to a higher power helped her rebuild. With humor, honesty, and deep wisdom, Lorraine's story is a testament to the miracles of recovery.Tune in for an inspiring conversation filled with hope, resilience, and the message that no matter how far gone you feel, there is always a way back.

Hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas welcome Rory, also known as DJ R Squared, to the podcast. Rory, a young recovering addict, shares his journey through addiction and recovery, bringing a fresh perspective on the struggles many young people face today.At 27, Rory is relatively new to recovery, having been sober for 139 days at the time of recording. He explains how many young people feel trapped in the party culture promoted on social media, unaware that recovery is an option. The hosts emphasise that while social media can provide temporary motivation, long-term recovery requires structured programmes like the 12-step fellowship.Rory reflects on his early struggles with self-loathing, anxiety, and escapism through gaming, fitness, and later, substance use. His father's affair and subsequent move to New Zealand deeply affected him, though he buried his emotions at the time. At university, he became immersed in the party scene, starting an events company and DJing while using substances to cope. Eventually, his drug use escalated, leading to a near-fatal overdose on GHB, which served as a wake-up call.The turning point came when a friend told him, "You're not well," and connected him with a mentor in recovery. Nervous but determined, Rory attended his first meeting and found solace in hearing others' experiences. Now actively working the 12 steps, he attends meetings, has a sponsor, and is making amends. He remains committed to his DJ career, proving that sobriety doesn't mean giving up on passion or social life.The episode closes with a message of hope: recovery is possible for anyone willing to put in the work. Rory expresses gratitude for his journey and the support he's received, while the hosts praise his commitment. They remind listeners that prioritising recovery leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.