Befriend your body Podcast

Taoist Story In today’s podcast we use a classic story from Taoism to illustrate the content from the previous 3 podcasts. They say a picture is worth a 1000 words, so I use this story picture in hopes it will help my listeners feel more ease and comfort with shifting their own physiology Fear of the tigers Tigers of the past and fears of the future can make us miserable and take all of our focus away from the goodness and safety of our daily life. Focusing on the tigers causes us to live in chronic anxiety because of our ANS.  Conversely, living in mindfulness, being right here in the present moment is the antidote to that anxiety.  Be present to the present Mindfulness calms the mind, body and soul. It allows us to see reality more clearly, stripped of the fear based overlays that anxiety puts on our eyes. When we are anxious it is like we are wearing a pair of “danger glasses” and everything we see feels dangerous to us. We want to live in relation to what is actually occurring, not the fears from the past or future. For more information on Taoism and mindfulness go to www.ibreafoundation.org/    and www.tao.org

FLIP THE COIN To pick up where we left off in the last podcast, ‘what must we do to get out of threat/stress physiology?’ Here are some tools that tune our bodies back into the other side of the “coin,” out of threat physiology, back to calm sense of safety. The podcast will share four tools today. Just for fun and for ease of memorizing, they will all begin with an S. TOOLS THAT WORK The 4 tools are; Slow down, Silence, Shift focus and Self-Awareness. Listen to the podcast to learn how these simple tools can help you flip your body and physiology quickly out of Stress and Threat mode. REST & DIGEST Using these and many other tools, millions of people have learned how to move from threat physiology back into a sense of grounded safety, our Autonomic Nervous System at rest. Rest and Digest is actually the term used of this state, to denote that the major systems of our body are at rest and we are able to digest our food, liquids and solids. This of course is the opposite of the Fight or Flight system, another term for stress physiology, which stops digestion and puts stress on most of the major systems of the body and impacts, metabolism, respiration, blood flow, heart rate variability, stress hormones, and our muscle/skeletal system as we brace and tense our muscles in preparation for danger.   For more information about REST & DIGEST go to https://adrenalfatiguesolution.com/fight-or-flight-vs-rest-and-digest/

Does life sometimes feel too heavy and overwhelming? Can you relate to the feeling that there is just so much going on you are about to combust with stress? Have you been there, recently?   Threat Physiology In today’s podcast we talk about Stress and Threat physiology, a somatic state our bodies go into outside of our conscious awareness and choice. Another words, our bodies go to a scary place and we don’t have any say in the matter. Coin only has 2 sides The metaphor of a coin helps explain this phenomena of our ANS. Like a coin, our physiology has two sides or modes and they are mutually exclusive of each other. So when we are stressed and anxious our ANS drops into Stress physiology. Scary side Like you, when my body is in this state of fear and overwhelm, when the heavy dread feels all consuming, like a dense fog taking over a previously sunny day, I am unable to experience all the good that is still in my life, such as friends, love, health, work, clean water, safety, etc.   Listen to the podcast to learn more about Stress physiology and how to feel more in control of your life and body messages.  https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response  A great article from Harvard Medical school about the power of stress.

THE "FELT SENSE PRAYER" I am flying solo in today’s podcast as my interviewer  and dear Friend Giovana is out of town sailing in the Caribbean! I bet her felt sense is more enjoyable than mine right now.  What is the Felt Sense? Today’s podcast is about the Felt Sense, a term coined by Eugene Gendlin years ago when studying successful therapy outcomes. He found certain clients were able to connect to and speak from a non-conceptual, bodily felt experience of the issues that troubled them. These clients reached their goals more quickly. The Felt Sense is a non-verbal inner source of knowing the bodily experience and sometimes cannot be put into words. Helpful Poem to explain this better. To help make this tricky concept a bit easier to grasp I will read the FELT SENSE prayer today. The author is unknown so I cannot give credit where it is due. But it is so helpful I want to share it with all my listeners. What does your Felt Sense tell you? As you listen, try to notice your body responses and if you feel a resonance with this “prayer”. This week I challenge you to really notice your Felt Sense in the different situations in which you find yourself and see how this impacts your choices and also sense of inner safety.   For a short helpful article on the Felt Sense go to: https://mindfulfocusing.com/new-blog/2017/9/26/the-felt-sense-what-it-is-and-why-its-important

Sand of my heart Yesterday at the beach, I saw imprinted in the sand many different bird tracks. Just by looking at the unique shape of each track, I could tell what species of bird left them behind. This visual stimulated some thoughts about how things other than birds can leave tracks in the “sand” of my life. Even “intangibles" like Love and Anxiety, or especially these two. Tracks of love When I am deeply loved by another human, it leaves a tangible imprint on my heart and in my life. It helps shape my sense of identity and increases self-love and a sense of safety internally.   Tracks of fear Unfortunately at times I fail to see the tracks of love in my life, because the tracks fear and anxiety leave seem bigger and more relevant. Anxiety leaves tangible tracks as well as love does. These can include: fear, worry, a self protective stance, doubting my decisions, selfishness, and anger. Because anxiety/fear screams at me internally, it is so easy to only notice the anxiety tracks and move into worry or panic mode. So listen today to learn more about your life and the tracks that may be imprinted in your heart and body. Check out this link for a great article about the power of live to impact our lives. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/love-and-relationships_b_4300010

Do you LOVE yourself? Last podcast we talked about feeling gratitude for our humanness.  Being grateful that we are not perfect, but messy and beautiful all at once. Today’s podcast ups the ante! We suggest taking a BIG step forward from just plain gratitude into Self Love. Today we talk about loving ourselves! Do you confuse self-love with selfishness? For some of you this is a big duh and not an issue at all. But I know there are plenty of you out there that may find this suggestion too challenging or even offensive.  Some of us have been programed wrongly and get selfishness and self-love confused. We may have grown up with a narcissist or two and any talk of self-love brings that person to mind.  Self-love is a healthy stance But self-love is a healthy balanced stance to have in life. Even Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  The golden rule is ‘do unto others as you would have them do for you’. So a healthy kind of love is balanced by having love for self and love for others. The Buddhists have specific meditations for increasing our self and other love, a loving kindness meditation and it is very powerful. Treat yourself like you treat your best friend Some of us have been brainwashed to only love and care for others so we may have a bit of a harder row to hoe when it comes to self-love. But life is so much better and there is much less anxiety and stress when we treat ourselves like we would treat our best friend,  with kindness and respect. Where do you fall in the spectrum? Do you love self and others, or just self, or just others? Check out today’s podcast for more info. Here is a great link for a loving kindness meditation. http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/loving-kindness

GRATITUDE FOR OUR HUMANNESS Are you grateful to be a human being? That may sound like an odd question since it seems to be our only option. But what I am really referring to is gratitude for our human messiness and imperfections. Some of us would perhaps prefer to be a perfect, limitless, robot.  Someone who is always efficient, effective and never makes an error. STORIES HELP US CHANGE I am reading Barbara Brown Taylor's book "Leaving Church: A memoir of faith." It is a great book about being human, struggling, growing, and accepting with gratitude the messiness of life. Some of the stories she tells remind me of this long and painful journey I have walking in learning to acknowledge and accept my human status. BENEFITS OF HUMANNESS Today’s podcast is about being grateful for our humanness and the benefits that come from this attitude. One is that we usually have more realistic expectations for ourselves and others. And, another benefit is greatly reduced stress and anxiety.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg A great song by J. Legend celebrating our humanness including our "perfect imperfections."   BB Taylor, "Leaving Church" on Amazon www.amazon.com

Christmas is a time for happiness and joy, or is it? It should be but sometimes we are not joyful, we are not even content with our lives, much less this holiday season. Contentment vs. mindfulness There is much talks bout mindfulness but very little about contentment. Are we a contented culture? I would say not so much. One of the definitions of Contentment is ease of mind. I think we all could use a bit more ease of mind. Blocks to Contentment What blocks us from contentment? Some people fear being contented will cause them to stagnate but contentment and stagnation are very different states of being. Listen to the podcast and learn more about contentment, and benefits of practicing this state of being. For more information here is a good website https://zenhabits.net/the-incredible-power-of-contentment/

Poetry What is the first thought you have when you hear the word poetry?  What do you think about poetry? Do you read it, write it, enjoy it?  What does it do? Some people think poetry is so "last century", while others deeply appreciate it. My perspective is that Poetry is a gift and a wonderful means to connect our awareness to deep and powerful emotional experiences.  Sometimes a poem allows you to really feel the depth of your feelings in a way that help you make sense of them. Not an intellectual sense, but true knowing and understanding of what is going on inside of you at that moment. Word Pictures Poetry uses metaphor and word pictures to help the reader really understand what the poet is conveying. I am a therapist and I work with many clients who have survived unspeakable horrors. I hear stories at times that make me want to burst with sorrow, rage and confusion. I can't believe how people can be so damaging to members of their own families. I have some of my own hard early memories so I have great empathy and compassion. Sometimes the only way I can let go of huge emotions that I feel after hearing horror stories, especially from teenagers, is to write it down. I use poetry to connect internally to my deep feelings and then release them onto the paper using words as containers for the affect. Poem Anyone? I will share a few poems here to demonstrate ways to connect to unpleasant and intense emotions. The first is more playful, but the second is full or rage and despair for my young clients that suffer from their own parents. Writing these words down helped me have hope for healing and to keep working with these children without falling into a deep dark depression. Do try this at home! I encourage you to give poetry a try. It only has to make sense to you. The words are for you after all, and not for anyone else. Let me know how it goes. Thank you for listening.

Today's podcast is an example of how the principles we have been sharing, stress management, anxiety reduction and listening to your body, actually work in the real world. Gio and I have been podcasting about these and other subjects for a while now and last month brave Gio overcame her fears and got certified to scuba dive and went on 10 dives in the Caymans.  She is claustrophobic, and had panic attacks at the thought of being trapped somewhere, including underwater.  But by connecting with her heart, and her courage, and using some of the tools we have been sharing, she was able to overcome this fear and have a wonderful, meaningful new life experience. Now she loves scuba diving, which is why I call her the scuba princess. Listen to hear her experience and hear what allowed her to make this major change and reduce her anxiety about something she had feared for years. For more information here is a good article from very well mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/healthy-ways-to-face-your-fears-4165487

In Today’s podcast we will talk about the values of community vs individualism. Which is better, to focus our energy on the collective (we) like the Japanese culture? Or, to focus on the individual (me) like our US popular culture seems to suggest? Balance is key As with anything, balance is important in this equation. I know people, and I was one of them, who focus so much on the We, there is no room for the Me. No room for self-care or self-identity. Just an almost obsessive focus upon other people. This can lead to burnout. I also know people and see them on TV, people so focused on the Me, that they care little for how their actions impact society and the We. Self-care helps with balance I am suggesting that better caring for ourselves helps us gain this balance. That a healthy self-love and self-care can help us walk this road with energy and wisdom. It can help us care for the We and the Me! It can also help us know when more energy needs to go to one side or the other. Even Jesus states, “Love your neighbor AS yourself”, so they appear to be connected.  Notice this week, what is your natural inclination, to care more about the We or the Me? Try focusing a bit more on your less balanced side this week and see what occurs.

What are sensations in our body and why are they important? That is the topic of today’s podcast. And, the answer is simple, our body sensations are the physiological shifts that underly our emotions. Listening to sensations as they occur will help us better deal with our emotions, especially the ones we deem unpleasant. Sensation Language  To help get you better listen to your body’s message, think about sensation as a language to re-learn. As children we spoke the language of sensation so well. As we age it seems we prefer to listen to our racing minds that jump from past to the future. Rather than listening to our bodies sensation messages that are based upon what is occurring right now in the present. Practice listening  We have included a smattering of sensation words for you to get you started. Take some time this week to listen to your body and the language of sensation. See what you notice.  

Today we finally drop Part 2 of this podcast. We continue our exploration of the human body with respect to Feelings/Sensations and Emotions. Living Embodied To really be able to feel our emotions and deal healthily with the challenges in our lives, we need to experience embodied living. That is, to live and be present in our minds and whole bodies while experiencing each situation in our daily lives. Watch a child really live in his or her body and not in the head like grownups tend to do. Children engage with the world using their bodies, they don’t mind getting dirty and they feel things very deeply. Sometimes they will tantrum or lose it because they feel so much, but have little experience how to deal with big emotions. (Sometimes adults do as well.) 2 E’s of Emotional Metabolism One method I have found that really helps metabolize BIG emotions is to use the 2 E’s. Doing so helps us deal with BIG emotions from a healthy place. The first E is to really Experience the emotion in your mind and body, not ignore it or try to avoid feeling it. Really let yourself be in the experience. Then use the 2nd E, Expression. Take a moment to feel the emotion and decide how best to Express it in that moment. That might mean speaking out loud to another person, or it may be something internally that you do. But you give the Emotion some form of Expression so it stops living inside you. Doing both allows the BIG emotion to break down into a smaller experience that is easier to handle. Expanded Emotional Range One great gift of using the 2 E’s is our emotional range gets expanded and we are able to be with all kinds of different emotions. A painter can make a much more expressive artwork by using many colors rather than just a few primary ones.  So hopefully today’s podcast will be another helpful tool for you to add to your emotional toolbox.

Feeling is an aspect of humanness Today is part 1 of To feel or not to feel, and we will talk about the body’s language, sensation and why it matters for your life. In my title, I am borrowing a bit from the famous old Bard here. But to feel or not to feel is almost as important of a question as to be or not to be.  Feelings, sensations, and emotions are an embedded and embodied aspect of our humanness and an outcome of living in a body. So not feeling at all is not an option. But to smother those feelings or to try to ignore them, that for many people is a very popular option. I used to live like that for years. Hiding and smothering any big uncomfortable feelings, sensations or emotions. Living without feelings diminishes vitality But I found hiding from my emotions makes me a little less human. I lose some of the vibrancy of authentic being and life does not feel as good. Most of us hide from our big emotions out of fear. Fear of how bad they feel, fear of what they mean and fear of what they may “make” us do! But the paradoxical reality is that if we allow our feelings to come up and listen to them, they will calm down quickly. Sensations and emotions are just our body trying to talk to us about aspects of our life through its only language.  Selective Smothering The other downside of trying to smother or hide from the “negative” emotions we encounter is that we lose the intensity of the positive emotions. You can’t smother one range and not the other. The repressing works on all our emotions and sensations. So tune in to find out why ALL of your emotions are good and matter to your life. For some more information and great content go to this video http://theglobalsuccessacademy.com/ted-talks/ And, this article https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/01/what-the-feelings-you-most-suppress-are-trying-to-tell-you/

Multi-tasking, not all it’s cracked up to be In Today’s podcast we debunk the myth that Multi-tasking makes people automatically more effective and efficient. When we do more than one thing at a time, our focus is necessarily diluted and often diverted away from what is most important.  One is sometimes better than Two. I am suggesting today that staying present and mindful whether you are engaging in tasks, chores, or interactions with other humans, is a superior way to live. Living this way will bring you much more joy and daily pleasure. Thus the title, “In praise of  Uni-tasking.”  If you are putting out a fire you want all of the water to shoot out the nozzle. You don’t want some of it to leak out other places. Keeping our focus solely on what we are doing or with the person in front of us, allows all of our energy and intention to be available.  Less Anxiety with Uni-tasking Trying to do a few things at once can actually increase our anxiety levels and cause us to race about and lose our peaceful grounded sensations.  So this week, pick a day and try uni-taking. Keep all of your energy and focus on what is right in front of you at each moment. See what happens.   For a good article from Forbes suggesting you get more done by uni-tasking than multi-tasking go to : https://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/09/19/quit-multitasking-how-to-unitask-and-get-more-done-2/#46dd2d507d12

  Pacing vs. Racing Do you remember the fable, “the Tortoise and the Hare”? What does that have to do with our lives? Quite a bit actually. Are you chronically racing about in your daily life or do you have a specific pace that works well for you and helps you feel happy and productive? Many of us race through our lives, I call it “waterskiing on the surface of my life”, something I used to do on a regular basis. Moving that quickly helped me feel productive and successful. It also nicely kept me from feeling my deep pains and fears. When you are moving at the speed of light, you can’t feel the depth of your life. Deep feelings take time to unearth and encounter. Health Problems This way of living is also problematic for our emotional and physical health. Speeding about causes your body to produce adrenaline too much and too often. This stress hormone is intended to help keep us alive when we are in actual danger. But in big doses it is hard on our cells and tissues. Slow is a better way to go Slowing down and respecting our limits allow us to live at the right pace for us. This also makes us more productive and better able to focus and succeed. Studies show the most productive people are “on” for 50 minutes and “off” for 10. So slowing down, taking pauses actually improves our productively. So like the peaceful tortoise, remember life is a marathon NOT A SPRINT. The turtle won the race, the harried hare lost it. For more information, here is a great book on Life Pacing. https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Slow-Worldwide-Challenging-4-Aug-2005/dp/B011T6VQNI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1532565552&sr=8-2&keywords=in+praise+of+slowness

  Perfectionism Today’s podcast is about the evils of perfectionism! Ok maybe trying to be perfect is not evil but when I used to struggle with this habit it made me perfectly miserable about 100% of the time. Perfectionism causes us to miss the good in our lives, focus on what we didn’t do perfectly which is almost everything because, news flash, NO ONE is perfect. Setting an impossible standard to meet sets us up for failure, and feeling terrible about ourselves. It also often blocks us from risking and trying new things.   Participation So instead, I am advocating to shift your intention and focus to full participation. To throw yourselves into your lives fully giving it your all. Trying your best, being yourself and letting the chips fall where they may. You will enjoy life so much more and maybe even learn to feel proud of yourself for “failing” because you were willing to risk and to try your best. Be your best, give your best and let that be enough. And, if anyone in your life demands perfection, send them packing…or at least tell them you are no longer a slave to the idol of perfectionism. For more information check out this great article from the BBC network http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180219-toxic-perfectionism-is-on-the-rise

Do you remember the old See Saw’s or Tetter Totter’s from childhood playground days? Well if you are under 35 you may not even know what they are. They used to be a fixture on school playgrounds.  Today’s podcast uses the analogy of a See Saw in relationship to the states of Love and Anxiety. Love and Anxiety are likened to riding a See Saw. We are either in one state or the other. Moving from Love to Anxiety and VV. But we also talk about how these states can work together or against each other. If we can move towards Love when we are feeling anxiety, the See Saw tips back into Love and Safety. But when we feel a bit of Anxiety, this can cause worry, or obsessing etc., about what we fear. When this occurs we lose our connection to Love and safety and the See Saw flips back to anxiety and that is all we experience.   Fear vs. Desire When we fear something more than we desire it, we will move away and not pursue it. But if we desire something more than we fear it, we will move towards it.  It is very hard to fight off fear, especially the fear of a new opportunity, relationships, etc. So an easier way to shift from Anxiety back into Love/Desire is to work on increasing our Desire for this new thing. Meditating on what it will feel like when we get it and believing that our efforts are worth the risk. Love & Desire are strong motivators, but fear “screams loudly” so we tend to focus on that. Its easier to increase the love and desire than to fight fear..   To close the podcast I use a personal example from my own life to explain this See Saw and the balancing act of moving from Fear to Love/Desire.   This man knows a lot about risking and desiring, check out his website or books.  https://robbell.com  

Today’s podcast is about the States of Fixity and Flow. Fixity and Flow in life and in our bodies, and how they engage in life. These states are highly correlated with feelings and sensations of Love and  Anxiety. This podcast will explore these states as well as define the meaings of the terms fixity and flow.  Body States/ANS Many of us are familiar with the term flow in relation to creativity. But I will be using these terms in relation to the states of our body. Specifically, the way our physiology (the Autonomic Nervous System)  moves and changes in response to our life circumstances. We will talk about attitudes and how our attitudes about our circumstances impacts whether we stay in flow or get caught in fixity. How we view each situation has everything to do with our response. Our attitude helps to determines if our body goes into a closed negative place or an open, curious, responsive place. So tune in to today’s podcast about Fixity and Flow and find out what your habitual option tends to be.  For more information about body states and how our attitudes impact our physiology, check out these websites. https://www.rickhanson.net https://www.positivityratio.com

What is the nature of the Universe? Einstein said, “The most important question a person can ask is, Is the Universe a Friendly place?”  Using the material from our last podcast, we will talk about how Love, Anxiety, and Spirituality interact.  How does the early treatment you receive from your primary caretakers impact your view of the world?   Spirituality For the podcast today I define Spirituality as a sense of engaging with something/someone larger than ourselves, and something that gives life purpose and brings meaning. Our worldview, the lenses through which we view life, tends to be a part of our sense of our Spirituality.  Sensations In this podcast we will discuss how our sensations of Love and sensations of Anxiety impact our Spirituality. Especially in terms of how we view the world and how we believe it works. Is the main force that undergirds the universe Love, or is it danger and chaos? Our early lessons that we receive about Love and nurture, or the lack of those, deeply impact our ability to determine how to connect and live in the world.  In addition, these early lessons set what we believe to be our place in the world. So enjoy the podcast. For more information on this topic, you can go to this link and read a this blog. It begins with a poem from Rumi. http://wandabrothers.com/2017/03/25/blog-50-what-a-13th-century-poet-knew-about-love-anxiety-2/ 

Attachment Theory How do our first experiences of nurture and family encounters shape the way we view Love as adults? How do we understand relationships and our place within them? Attachment theory, around since the 1940’s brings us answers to these questions.   Love templates The human mind learns in templates. We cannot remember every experience or every object we encounter. So our brain makes a template when we are young to help us put events and objects in proper categories.  This includes the way we learn about Love and how the “other” will treat us. The primary caretaker’s behavior becomes our template for love and nurture. They are also our template for the “other.” So our view of love will depend on how we are most often treated. Changing Attachment Templates Today we talk about how love templates and how to move from Insecure attachment to Secure attachment. Using the wonderful plasticity of the human brain, we are able to change the first templates of our early relational experiences to more positive ones.  3 Tiered Model of Change.  To make this complex interaction a bit easier to understand, I share a analogy of a 3 tiered model of learning. This model is how we gain the early knowledge. But also can be used in order to generate behavioral change as adults. The tiers include LESSONS, LENSES, and LIFESTYLE.   For more information on Attachment and Attachment Theory go to https://stantatkin.com As well as www.dianepooleheller.com 

How does your facial expression impact feelings of love or anxiety? What is Flat Affect and how does it impact your relationships? We will answer these questions in today’s podcast. When we feel an emotion, it is normal to show that emotion on our face. And, showing that emotion allows those around us to intuit via Mirror Neurons our mood. As well as how we feel about them. This emotional exchange deepens relationships and increases our intimacy. The face has many muscles and it is suggested there are 21 facial expressions. This mobility allows for many emotions to be transmitted. However, some people do not show much expression on their faces. Or their face has a flat, or wooden look. This is what is called “Flat affect”. For many, early attachment deficits can be the originating cause of Flat affect. But whatever the cause, the impact on relationships is significant. If we cannot “read” someone’s face, we do not know for sure how they are feeling about us. Or, what they may want from the current encounter.   Today we will also talk about Flat affect and it’s impact on human relationships. Check out your face in a mirror as you feel an emotion. Do you show your emotions on your face? Tune in for, “If you are happy, tell your face! For more information on Mirror Neurons go to Harvard’s Shawn Achor’s video on this topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsG6OcCQ2eU

Today in our podcast we will continue sharing how Love and Anxiety can war for dominance in our body and brain. One day I came across a family walking at the beach and overheard the 2 younger boys frantically whispering about Stranger Danger. This made me curious about how we determine whether a new person, a stranger, is safe or dangerous? How do we know if they will become a wonderful addition to our life> Or, if they are scary and dangerous and should be avoided?  Once again we need to understand the brain and how the various regions work together. Today we will talk more about the Reptilian brain and Identity as well as the Limbic system and attachment wiring. Enjoy the podcast. For more information on attachment and brain wiring of safety or danger go towww.dianepooleheller.com

So how do Love & Anxiety counteract each other? What allows love to win over anxiety? It helps to understand the way the Brain works to answer that question. So today we will talk more about Paul D. MacLean’s model of the Triune brain. By explaining what the differing parts of the brain do,  I will show how they interrelate in ways that can cause Love and Anxiety to wrestle for domination in our lives.    The brain of course has many more than 3 parts but these are the main 3 areas that are most often connected to safety, danger, and how the human brain developed.    These 3 areas are, the Reptilian Brain/Brain stem, the Mammalian Brain/Limbic system, and the Neocortex. One of the primary responsibilities of the Brain stem region is to help us avoid danger. Listen to today’s podcast to learn how this danger signal impacts Love and Anxiety.    For a fun video to learn more about the various areas of our wonderful, complex Brain, watch this short video on Youtube.  Pinky & the Brain, Brain stem  

How do you live your life? Open and trusting, expecting good and doing good? Or, do you live tight and braced in your bodies muscles, tense, scared and closed off to anything new? Or anything you are unsure of and don’t want to try.   Life can be stressful and frightening. The News only seems to focus on dangerous situations, criminal activity, and the selfish crazy antics of politicians. And, we are bombarded with news and negativity every where we turn. It pops up on our devices and social media. It can seem like we can’t get away from it.   But so much more of life is good, positive and safe. People are being kind and helpful to others by the millions but that rarely makes the news. Which is very sad and perhaps why we are such an addicted, stressed out nation.   So what can we do? We can deliberately focus on the good to be found in daily life. Take the analogy of a radio dial, if you don’t like the station, change the channel. The more we focus on the good and safety to be found, the more relaxed our bodies will become. This allows us to open to life, newness and possibilities. Which I would suggest makes life worth living. 

One of the challenges of our fast paced busy lives is that we have so much stress we have trouble calming and settling down. When we move too quickly our bodies go into stress mode and too much adrenaline and cortisol are released into our nervous systems. (I.e. think of a car with the gas pedal all the way to the floor.) The racing mind is one of the consequences of this situation. When the mind races it is very hard to settle back down.   There are two main ways to calm down our minds and bodies. One is called Top-down processing, and the other is called, Bottom-up processing. Today’s podcast will give you examples of both ways to calm down and feel more relaxed and joyful. We will also do a bit of guided imagery to calm the racing mind using the example of a monkey in a banana tree. Most people find guided imagery calming and enjoyable. Listen now. For many more helpful tools and meditations and imagery go to www.headspace.com

What you you think about conflict? Do you feel it is important for a healthy relationship? Do you think of it as a necessary evil, or do you avoid it like the plague?  Conflict is a normal part of the human existence and fearing conflict just adds an unneeded amount of stress to our minds and bodies. Unless the person you plan to have conflict with is a sociopath or a raging manic, conflict should not be that difficult or frightening. Whenever 2 people want different things there will be conflict. Because we are human we will rupture our relationships and conflict resolution is one of the ways we repair that rupture. Today I will share 4 simple concepts to focus upon when you are preparing for conflict. Following these 4 steps will allow you to engage in conflict resolution from a more calm, grounded perspective. 

No, I am not reciting a portion of the alphabet but sharing a CBT helpful exercise from a famous 20th century psychologist. Today’s podcast is about the anxious, racing mind. And, about our tendency as humans to fret, obsess and worry.  While I talked about worry in the last podcast, I did not share much about how to specifically deal with an obsessive thought loop. So today we talk about what to do to make the worry evaporate. ABCDE is an oldie but goodie exercise from Albert Ellis. He came up with this exercise to help his clients learn how to use their minds to refute worries, and to help their bodies feel better quickly. This exercise is a means to keep the mind working for us rather than wasting energy in useless, fretting worries. Give this a try with your own stressful situations and worries. Let us know how you do!

Many people struggle against worrying and being stuck in negative, fearful thoughts. This is a big problem, and a time-wasting habit. The bad habit of negative “future-izing” or worrying, can ruin our happiness and over the years, our physical health.   As we continue our series on Love & Anxiety, I will share some simple brain anatomy. I will tell you about the Brain Stem, the Limbic system and the Cerebral Cortex. A lack of understanding of how these brain regions work allow us to stay stuck in spiraling loops of high anxiety or debilitating stress. Learning how to keep the brain stem out of “danger” mode evicts anxiety and decreases stress hormones. This translates into a peaceful life and a relaxed and calm body. Listen and notice how this can help you in your daily life.  Please write in with any questions or concepts you would like to better understand. I prefer responding to what my listeners find compelling and interesting.

Today we are continuing the new series; Love & Anxiety. Where we focus our attention is the second critical factor in how much anxiety we experience in our daily life. And, if love calms or causes anxiety. Many people struggle with looping negative thoughts or worrying. On a regular basis the mind is spinning out awful scenarios that usually are not even realistic. When we focus on scary thoughts, our primitive brain regions turn on stress hormones. These hormones cause internal sensations of high anxiety and stress. This causes a chain reaction of feeling more anxiety and this reinforces the negative thought focus.  Rich Hanson’s research found our brain’s have a bias toward negative information. So we must work to focus on the positive aspects of our life.

If you have listened to the previous podcasts you will hopefully understand better how your body and your physiology work hand in hand. Either to calm and relax you, or to stimulate, motivate or stress you out. To build on those concepts we are starting a new series of podcasts about Love & Anxiety. Taking the physiological ideas and fleshing them out. I.e. how they impact your daily life. Love & Anxiety have a complex relationship. Love is often the quickest and best way to calm anxiety. But love can also cause anxiety. Our early relational history has a great impact on how we experience other people. Do they feel safe and good, or dangerous and scary. Attachment theory has been around for almost 80 years. Today's podcast is about attachment and how we take in (or don't take in) love. And how that impacts our anxiety levels.

In this podcast we will take a break from the more academic and didatic material and share a very simple but very effective tool for reducing Stress levels and the amount of anxiety we often experience in our bodies. This tool can be utilized when we find ourselves feeling anxious or it can be done regularly as a way to prevent anxiety levels from climbing. It is a breathing exercise called 4-7-8. I have had clients report it has helped even during a panic attack.  Enjoy the podcast.

This podcast is a continuation of the series on your body, your physiology, and your autonomic nervous system and how they impact you minute to minute in your everyday life. Today's podcast is part 2 of How not to panic! If you have not listened to part 1, I encourage you to do so. This one will make more sense. Today's podcast is about our Belly! The belly is a wonderful part of our body and responsible for much more than holding up our bathing suits and digesting our food. There is a neural network in our belly, the scientists call it the Enteric Brain. Neural networks are systems that learn to do tasks by considering examples, generally without task-specific programming, so they can be very "knee-jerky" in their responses to stimuli. For example, if you had an accident and are now anxious about driving, your belly can start clenching, twisting or fill with a jittery sensation when you just think about getting in the car.  So listen today to learn more about your wonderful belly, your gut instinct. And for goodness sakes, stop sucking it in. That makes the anxiety levels worse!

This podcast continues to build on the content of the previous podcast. Learn more about your Autonomic Nervous System and how it impacts your daily life and sense of safely and well-being. When you know how to care for yourself and how to respond in challenging circumstances, your confidence will grow and your level of anxiety will diminish. It may seem a bit like academic material but I assure you from personal experience, knowing how your body works is so empowering. Enjoy!

This episode discusses how the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) and high anxiety are interrelated. Understanding your own body and especially your ANS is key to living a relaxed and joyful life. Many of us get caught up in doing, acocmplishing, and busyness and don't realize the cost of this way of living to our health and our inner sense of well-being.  

Are you waiting for something imporant in your life? Sometimes patience seems impossible. Being present and listening to our bodies allows us to experience life with more openess and to catch the goodness that is all around us that we miss when we take our minds for a walk and forget that we have a body.

Welcome to this podcast! This is the beginning of a series about your body, your mind and your phsyiology. When you understand how to listen to your body's messages, and figure out how your body works, living up to your full potential, and living without anxiety and debilitating stress is possible and easily attainable.