Not Just A Hashtag

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Statistics are telling us we know at least multiple people who have experienced some sort of sexual abuse. Nicole Escobar and Myriah Jones along with with mental health counselors, Kristan Torres and Holly Fregin, tackle a topic that has finally become more destigmatized through the #MeToo movement.…

Nicole Escobar


    • Apr 26, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 50m AVG DURATION
    • 73 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Not Just A Hashtag podcast is truly one-of-a-kind. From the moment you start listening, you are immediately drawn in by the personal stories shared by these women. They have a remarkable ability to make you feel seen and heard, no matter what experiences you have had. The journey of healing can often feel overwhelming, but this podcast makes it seem much more attainable and offers hope through each episode.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is how relatable and authentic the hosts are. When they share their personal stories, it feels like you are sitting in a room with your closest friends, having a deep and meaningful conversation. Their vulnerability creates a safe space for listeners to explore their own experiences and find comfort in knowing that they are not alone. The hosts also provide valuable insights and advice on how to navigate healing and share their wisdom on impacting others within their profession.

    While the podcast offers incredible value in terms of healing and understanding, it is important to note that some episodes may trigger certain individuals. This is not necessarily a fault of the podcast itself, but it is something that potential listeners should be aware of beforehand. It is important to prioritize self-care when engaging with sensitive topics discussed on this show, as they can bring up difficult emotions.

    In conclusion, The Not Just A Hashtag podcast is a powerful platform that brings light to important issues through personal storytelling. The hosts' ability to create an inclusive and supportive environment is truly commendable, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking for solace and inspiration on their own healing journey. Whether you're seeking guidance or simply want to feel seen and heard, this podcast offers hope through each episode. Keep fighting, ladies!



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    Latest episodes from Not Just A Hashtag

    73. Stop Negative Self-Talk: Reclaim Your Identity

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2025 63:32


    Ever catch yourself saying things you'd NEVER say to a friend? We're diving deep into the battlefield of our minds. On this episode, Nicole and Deb get real about negative self-talk and how it impacts EVERYTHING.Deb shares a powerful truth: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Yeah, that's a LIE! Words, especially the ones we whisper to ourselves, have incredible power. From wrestling with conviction after a night out to battling the “accuser” in moments of weakness, they reveal how negative thoughts can consume us. But it's not all doom and gloom! They share practical exercises, such as “shedding it off” and bringing thoughts into the light. Ready to transform your inner dialogue? What's one negative thought you're ready to kick to the curb?

    72. A Story of Redemption and Hope

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2025 64:00


    In this powerful episode of the Not Just a Hashtag podcast, we are thrilled to introduce Shannon Nelson, the Director of Calvary House for Women at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. Shannon's journey of redemption is nothing short of remarkable, and it's one you won't want to miss!Growing up, Shannon faced immense challenges, including a painful history of sexual abuse. As a teenager, she sought comfort in unhealthy choices, leading to struggles with drug addiction and further sexual abuse. But today, Shannon stands as a testament to resilience and transformation! Through the unwavering faith in Jesus, deep support of loving friends, and the invaluable lessons of self-reflection and boundary setting, she has completely transformed her life. Now, Shannon shines as a beacon of hope for women who have endured similar hardships. Her story is not just inspiring—it's a call to believe in the power of change and the importance of community support.We are so grateful to have her share her incredible journey with us. Don't miss this uplifting conversation that could inspire you or someone you know to embrace hope and healing!

    71. Healing is a journey, not just a destination

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2025 73:04


    In this episode, Deb and her husband, Mike, share their inspiring story of transformation after Deb participated in the Trees of Hope Shelter program. Together, they courageously confronted the challenges of sexual abuse, exploring its effects on individuals and relationships. Through open conversations, they learned to address difficult emotions, strengthening their bond and understanding of their faith. This journey of vulnerability transformed their relationship, leading to resilience and a shared purpose. Deb's journey highlights the importance of compassion over mere problem-solving, understanding individual processing styles, and building trust through honesty and patience. They discuss addressing deep-rooted wounds and embracing emotional maturity. Join them as they explore the role of faith, self-compassion, and the power of community in the healing process. Let their story inspire you to trust in the process and find strength in vulnerability.

    70. The Art of Replacing Lies or Negative Thoughts With the Truth

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2024 42:02


    After a three-month hiatus, the "Not Just a Hashtag" team has returned! Are you struggling with negative thoughts or feeling unworthy? You're not alone! Join us for this episode, where we dive into how to swap those harmful beliefs for uplifting biblical truths. For many survivors, feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy can be really tough to handle. But here's the good news—your value is beyond measure! The Bible is filled with beautiful verses that can help you get to know God better and understand what He says about your life. True healing begins when we challenge those false beliefs and embrace the fantastic transformation that Jesus can bring into our lives. Let's explore this journey together! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    69. From Pain to Purpose

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2024 53:23


    Embark on a courageous journey with Deb as she fearlessly shares her path from pain to healing, aiming to inspire others to confront their experiences of sexual abuse. By embracing vulnerability and resilience, she is determined to shatter the stigma surrounding abuse. Deb urges you to put your story into words and consider sharing it with a trusted friend, or counselor, or even reciting it to yourself in front of a mirror. In this episode, Nicole and Deb discuss: The transformative impact of journaling The unique paths to thriving after trauma The power of forgiveness and faith Personal reflections on overcoming shame and negative beliefs Deb's story is a source of hope, demonstrating that healing is achievable. Join us to feel empowered, supported, and part of a caring community. Let's embrace our journeys together. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    68. My Trauma Is Not My Blueprint For My Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 51:23


    In this powerful episode of the "Not Just a Hashtag" podcast, the team delves into the profound effects of trauma and sexual abuse on individuals, emphasizing the importance of healing through self-reflection, perseverance, and faith. They discuss the lasting impact of past traumas on behavior, the transformative power of reflection and evaluation, and the resilience needed to overcome setbacks and challenges. Discover how prioritizing God's plans, seeking spiritual growth, and finding freedom through Jesus can lead to a life of faith, trust, and renewal. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    67. Worldly Hope vs. Biblical Hope: Where Does Your Hope Come From?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 46:44


    In this moving episode, Nicole and Deb have a candid discussion highlighting the stark contrast between superficial reliance on personal performance or external sources and a profound, biblical hope anchored in God's unchanging nature. This impactful episode underscores God's remarkable ability to bring about genuine transformation and rescue. Are you in need of a podcast that bravely tackles the difficult topic of sexual abuse, shares empowering stories of healing, and offers valuable insights on safeguarding your children and loved ones from such trauma? Look no further - this podcast and episode are just for you! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    Healthy Habits To Help a Survivor Thrive

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2024 59:29


    Get ready for an exciting episode! The team is finally back after a brief hiatus in April 2024. Don't miss out on their latest episode! In this episode, Nicole and Deb discuss the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle after experiencing sexual abuse. The good news is that you don't have to face these difficulties alone. The episode provides practical advice and tips on how to take control of your physical and mental well-being. By making simple changes such as starting a gratitude journal, eliminating negative self-talk and unhealthy relationships, and confronting your fears, you can improve your quality of life and continue to thrive. Don't let your past abuse hold you back - take back control of your life today! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    65. Beyond the Surface: Navigating Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Healing

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2024 70:48


    Join Nicole and Deb on the latest episode of "Not Just a Hashtag" as they delve into the complexities of dealing with sexual abuse, self-respect, and the importance of setting clear boundaries based on biblical principles of self-love and behavioral change. In this thought-provoking conversation, they share their personal experiences with anger and frustration, and emphasize the significance of accountability for one's actions. They also discuss the challenges of maintaining boundaries within familial relationships, the role of family dysfunction, and the freedom that comes with boundary-setting and emotional intelligence. Listen in as they reflect on their inner conflicts regarding feelings of competition and inadequacy resulting from family dynamics, the dangers of placing someone on a pedestal in relationships, and the power of humility. If you're looking to improve your relationships and gain a deeper understanding of biblical boundaries, this is an episode you won't want to miss! To learn more about Deb Marsalisi and to read more of her articles, please visit her webiste at https://debmarsalisi.com/2023/10/is-self-love-biblical/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    64. Is Self Care Biblical?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2024 61:13


    Join us for an important episode where our team addresses the sensitive topic of sexual abuse. We explore the need for survivors to prioritize biblical self-care over the self-care that the world promotes. Our experts offer practical tips on maintaining discipline in your daily routine, grounding your identity in Christ, practicing gratitude, and trusting God during difficult times. We believe biblical self-care is an effective tool to help you grow in integrity and personal growth when done right. This episode is the first of a three-part series that promises to be insightful and informative. Don't miss out! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    63. Broken and Beautiful: How God Heals the Broken Hearted

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2024 76:21


    The podcast “Not Just a Hashtag” by Trees of Hope explores the multifaceted issue of sexual abuse, intertwining personal narratives with education on the subject. It features discussions on the prevalence of sexual abuse, recognizing its signs, and methods for prevention. The host shares the story behind the creation of Trees of Hope and details their “Shelter from the Storm” curriculum designed to facilitate healing while safeguarding personal information. The ministry was founded as a response to the founder's own experience with sexual abuse, aiming to aid others in their recovery process. The podcast draws on Christian faith, particularly the role of Jesus in comforting, freeing, and proclaiming hope to those suffering, and likens this to the impact of his sacrifice. The transformative power of God is emphasized as a means to turn the pain of sexual abuse into beauty and joy. The narrative underscores the importance of being grounded in faith, drawing an analogy between survivors' resilience and the strength of trees, and introduces a 40-day devotional called “Reclaim Your Wholeness,” which is rooted in the speaker's healing journey through faith. The conversation further addresses the need for a compassionate father figure and God's careful and gradual healing approach, using the story of the prodigal son and the art of Kintsugi as metaphors for divine mercy and redemption. It reflects on breaking generational cycles, the importance of faith, and confronting false beliefs with truth. The challenges of life, including parenthood, are discussed, emphasizing the necessity of addressing and accepting past trauma rather than diminishing it. Acknowledging past hurts and seeking professional help are highlighted as critical steps in the healing process, along with building a support network and cultivating a strong relationship with Jesus for profound healing. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    62. Overcoming Sexual Abuse and Rape With Special Guest Deb Marsalisi

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2023 71:06


    In this episode, we have a special guest, Deb Marsalisi, Regional Director in Melbourne for Trees of Hope join us. Deb is a New Jersey native and now lives in Florida where she and her husband host their podcast called Detours. Deb tells her story of sexual abuse, healing, and how her journey has created a passion in herself to see other people set free. She details the hurdles she struggled with, how she overcame enormous odds and inspired listeners never to let themselves be silenced or defined by their victimization experiences. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    61. Back to the Basics: How Does Sexual Abuse Effect a Person

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2023 46:09


    As the team, Nicole Escobar and Kristen Torres, continue their candid conversation about the impact of sexual abuse on a person's life, they share how minimization plays a significant role in the healing process. Nicole shares her personal story of minimization and encourages listeners to take an honest and courageous look at their story and allow the truth of their abuse to guide them to a deeper level of healing! This episode serves as a refresher of what sexual abuse is and what effect it can have on a person's life. While each episode offers a safe and welcoming space for survivors seeking the courage to share their stories, some of the content may be triggering. Therefore, the information provided through our podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment that can be provided by your own physician, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, therapist, counselor, mental health practitioner, licensed dietitian or nutritionist, member of the clergy, or any other licensed or registered health care professional. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    60. Back To The Basics: Who We Are & What Is Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2023 48:06


    In this episode, the Trees of Hope team revisits its mission and the purpose of the podcast. They engage in a candid conversation about the impact of sexual abuse on a person's life. For both new listeners and long-time followers, this episode serves as a refresher on the organization's identity and offers a safe and welcoming space for survivors seeking the courage to share their stories. If you're looking for support, the "Not Just a Hashtag" podcast is the perfect place for you! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    59. Tips On How To Have A Successful Mindset

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2023 50:59


    In this episode, the team examines why many survivors struggle with self-talk and limiting beliefs about what they can or can't do, how they will heal, and if they will heal. So this episode gives some tips on prioritizing yourself and encouraging yourself when no one else will. If you struggle with insecurities, doubts, or disbelief that healing is possible, this episode is for you! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    58. How To Spot A Predator or Groomer Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2023 49:03


    In this second episode of a two-part series, the team discusses the state of our children and youth. Like never before in our lifetime, the topics of childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and the sexualization of our children have been headlining the news and social media posts over the past year. Much of the discussion concerns children being exposed to content in the public school system with an overt sexual agenda that doesn't protect their innocent hearts and minds. So in this episode, the team looks at the other red flags to look out for that groomers and predators use to sexualize or exploit children. This episode is for parents and anyone who works with children or wants to be more informed on protecting children from predators and groomers! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    57. How To Spot a Predator or a Groomer

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2023 45:28


    In this first episode of a two-part series, the team discusses the state of our children and youth. Like never before in our lifetime, the topics of childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and the sexualization of our children have been headlining the news and social media posts over the past year. Much of the discussion concerns children being exposed to content in the public school system with an overt sexual agenda that doesn't protect their innocent hearts and minds. So in this episode, the team focuses on spotting an individual who is a sexual predator or a groomer. This episode is for parents and anyone who works with children or wants to be more informed on how to protect children from predators and groomers! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support

    56. How To Choose Joy In Every Circumstance

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2023 47:38


    In this episode, the team talks about how we can choose joy in every circumstance, even when life isn't going the way we want or we are suffering. Of course, happiness is not the same as joy. We may not be able to choose happiness all the time. But we can always choose joy. We can overcome our fear, doubts, worry, and anxiety when we lean into God's joyful nature. We can grow through dark times instead of letting them paralyze us. When we suffer or have pain in our life, we can tap into the joy of the Lord that renews our strength every day. So how do we do that? By being present and patient in God's presence and leaning into His promises found in His Word. The reality is that if you believe in Christ, you can NEVER lose! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    55. How To Overcome The Lie of Shame That Says Your Life is Hopeless

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2022 50:02


    In this episode, the team talks about the lie of shame which says, “I am what I am. I can't change. I'm hopeless.” When we believe this lie, it makes us feel like we have no worth or value. When we feel hopeless, we might make choices that reinforce those feelings. We might turn to substance abuse or other reckless decisions to numb the pain. Or, we may self-sabotage because we have no hope for anything better. If you have ever struggled with feeling hopeless because of a wrong decision or the trajectory of your life, this episode is for you. We want you to know that there is always hope! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    54. You Still Have Worth If You Fail

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2022 39:34


    In this third episode of our four-part series, the team covers lie number three from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that because I have failed, I am unworthy and deserve to be punished. This lie results in self-loathing or blaming others for our failures. Consider a time when you have failed. Did you look inward, or did you blame somebody else for it, and you became the victim? If you took it upon yourself, did you look at the failure as an isolated incident, or did you turn it into a character trait or who you are? Did you find yourself saying anything to yourself like: If I fail, then I'm totally unworthy. I'm a failure. It's just who I am. I didn't just fail once. I am a failure. God's answer to this problem can be found in the Bible in a single word - proportion. So what does that word mean? It simply means God took on what our due punishment was for being sinners and released us from the debt of it. He came, loved us despite our failings and sin, and took our sins, shame, pain, and failures on the cross. He took all of that so that we could be released from it. He replaced our sin and shame with His love and righteousness. So when we live this lie of wanting to place blame, whether, on ourselves or someone else, somebody has to be punished for it. But we can free ourselves from that because God says, "You don't have to live under this anymore! When you feel unlovable, when you mess up, or when you fail. You don't have to punish yourself or anyone else for that! I took all that on me so you can be set free!" --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    53. The Problem With Being An Approval Addict

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2022 42:01


    In this second episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number two from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that I must have the approval of certain people to feel good about myself. This is the lie of the approval addict, which results in fear of rejection. Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must be approved by others to be loved, have worth, and find identity. No matter how young or old we are, we are all just like the little child with the craving for acceptance and the hunger for approval. We all want to know the following: Am I ok? Do you see me? Is what I have done good enough? Do I matter to you? We all have two things in common: The need to be needed The need to be known by others We all wrestle with questions like: Do people see me? Do people understand me? This yearning in our hearts is why this episode is so important! We need to remind ourselves that God looks down upon us and says, "I see you, you are needed, you are known, and I am proud of you." We need to let God fill our hunger for approval and be our only source that meets all of our needs. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    52. The Lie of Perfectionism

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2022 48:09


    In this first episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number one from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that I must meet specific standards to feel good about myself. This is the lie of perfectionism or the lie that I must perform to be considered worthy. Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must perform a certain way to be loved, have worth, and find your identity. In addition, this way of thinking makes you believe that if I'm successful, I'm good enough or worthy of love. The problem with this mindset is it forces you to focus your attention on yourself or the trajectory of your life against others, making you self-absorbed and focused on all the wrong things. This is a trap that keeps you bound and unproductive. To walk in true freedom, you must believe in who God says Jesus is. Check out this episode to learn more about who God says Jesus is and what we receive when we believe in Him as our Redeemer. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    51. Where Does Your Significance Come From?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 31:59


    This month we are starting a four-part series based on the book Search for Significance, which Robert McGhee wrote. Self-worth is vital, but it's where we find our worth that is the most important. The world will try to tell us where our identity comes from. Most people find self-worth in the outward thing or what they have achieved. But what happens when we fail? Do we still have self-worth, and do we still think we have value? We have to be careful about where we find our identity. We must find our worth in the right place - in God and Him alone. In this first intro episode, we look at four significant lies people believe about their worth: Lie #1 - I must meet specific standards to feel good about myself. This belief results in fear of failure. Lie #2 - I must have the approval of certain people to feel good about myself. This belief results in fear of rejection. Lie #3 - Those who fail, including me, are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished. This belief results in guilt. Lie #4 - I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless. This belief results in shame. In this series, you'll learn how to find your true identity in Christ rather than looking for it in earthly things or lies that want to deceive us! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    50. Wrestling Through Your Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2022 37:25


    In this episode, mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, explains the importance of understanding your story - where you've come from, what you've been through, and what you're going through now. We need to understand and wrestle through our stories to find true freedom. We can know our story factually, such as seeing that we've been through sexual abuse. But understanding it and working through the details of it and the effects that it's had on our lives is a whole different story. It's a much bigger thing to understand the facts versus actually understanding the impact of everything in our story. In addition, it is even more important than knowing your story is being able to look for the gospel message in your story. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    49. Lies That Keep Survivors From Healing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2022 66:56


    In episodes 41 - 43, we talked about the lies that survivors believe about themselves and the abuse they experienced that prevents them from healing. In this episode, we get the perspective of our male facilitator, Justin Young, as he shares from the second recording from our men's study called Renew on how these lies have affected his life and journey from healing. Justin's story is highly relatable and inspiring! We hope this episode will encourage you to make yourself a priority and to get the healing you need and deserve! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    48. How compulsive behaviors, need suppression, and unforgiveness crush intimacy with others

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2022 38:49


    This month we are wrapping up our three-part series on intimacy. In this last episode, the team looks at three critical barriers to intimacy - compulsive behaviors, need suppression, and unforgiveness. We often use these barriers to readjust or suppress our intimacy needs. Some people run out of ways to fulfill their needs, so they try to make themselves believe that they can live without intimacy. But, that's a lie! We were created to be connected to God and to other people. This episode is for anyone willing to take a hard look inside and ask themselves the honest questions of - do I have unmet needs in my life, and if I do, what could be the root cause of those feelings? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    47. How A Judgmental Attitude and A Critical Spirit Are Barriers To Intimacy

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2022 48:25


    This month we are continuing with our three-part series on intimacy. In this second episode, the team looks at how a critical spirit or judgmental attitude can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. We also talk about three different reasons people avoid intimacy and how those become barriers to genuine closeness with others. Intimacy involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, being vulnerable, and showing someone else how you feel and your hopes and dreams. Intimacy is built up over time, and it requires patience and effort from everyone involved to create and maintain. As humans, we all have areas that we need to grow in, and one of those areas for most survivors is creating true intimacy with family, friends, and a partner or spouse. If you are willing to be brave and explore behaviors that need work to achieve genuine intimacy with others, then this episode is for you! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    46. Unmet Needs For Intimacy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2022 55:47


    This month we are starting a three-part series on intimacy and how sexual abuse can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual closeness. This episode will build the framework for the rest of the episodes by looking at what intimacy is and not. We will examine some feelings and related behaviors resulting from a lack of intimacy. Survivors often isolate themselves because their need for intimacy is not met. Anytime a personal need is not met, we experience painful feelings. This episode is for anyone willing to take a hard look inside and ask themselves the honest questions of - do I have unmet needs in my life, and if I do, what could be the root cause of those feelings? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    45. The Difference Between Knowing You've Been Sexually Abused & Understanding The Effect It Has Had On Your Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2022 45:23


    In this episode, the team looks at what sexual abuse is, the importance of terminology, and helping survivors understand its effect on their lives. When it comes to sexual abuse, terminology is fundamental for in healing process. However, if you have never been taught correct terminology, you can wrongly classify your abuse. The hard truth is that you cannot identify what you do not understand. If you are a survivor, we hope this episode encourages you to share your story with others one day. Some people need to hear your story because your story has the power to give others the courage to face their truths and trauma. Many people will see God through your transparency and boldness! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    44. Why Go Through Healing From Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2022 49:29


    As we kick off a new season and year, we wanted to start 2022 with an episode about why a survivor should heal from sexual abuse. In this episode, Nicole Escobar shares her story of abuse and why she is so passionate about Trees of Hope's work. In this episode, we also share with you the first recording we did with our dear friend Justin Young for our new men's study called Renew, coming out in 2022. Justin is a survivor of sexual abuse and our online men's facilitator. Justin's story is highly relatable and inspiring. We hope this episode encourages you to make this your year to walk through some form of healing, and we also hope this episode will be the sign you need that now is the time to take back your story and control in this area of your life! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    43. How Believing Lies About Your Abuse Can Produce Unnecessary Shame and Guilt

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2021 56:47


    Over the past few months, we have been talking about the false beliefs that victims believe about themselves or the abuse they went through. As a recap, the false beliefs are: It's my fault. I must have been a terrible person for them to do this to me. I wanted them to do this to me. It didn't happen! I must have made it up. Last month we talked about having low self-esteem, which is one of the consequences of believing these false beliefs. The other two consequences that we cover in this episode are - shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are consequences/outcomes of believing lies about your abuse. When victims believe these lies, they can have feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and undeserved blame for their abuse. All of these can keep you bound, and when you're bound, you cannot fully heal. We hope this episode encourages you and helps you see the lies about your abuse for what they are - lies! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    42. Why A Survivor Shouldn't Minimize Their Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2021 56:25


    In this episode, Stevie and Nicole cover why a survivor should not reduce or downplay their abuse and the consequences of believing the lie that somehow the abuse was your fault. Survivors often minimize their sexual abuse. This can be because the person who abused you made you believe that the situation was harmless. But it is so important that despite the messages you heard or the lies you believed, that you should not minimize the crime committed against you. Often survivors feel that they don't deserve the respect and love of others. They feel dirty and unwanted. Having these types of feelings, even if they are buried down deep, can leave you with emotions that will prevent you from protecting yourself and set you up to be abused again and again. Maybe even just emotionally. This episode is crucial for those who struggle with false beliefs and bear the consequences of insecurities. This episode is also for the person who thinks that the abuse they went through many years ago can't possibly affect their lives now. We hope this episode will help set you free! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    41: The Lies That Survivors Believe About Themselves and Their Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2021 50:19


    Sexual abuse almost always leaves victims with a damaging set of false beliefs about their value and worth. Held as absolute truths, these false ideas create mistaken guilt, destroy self-esteem, and assign undeserved responsibility for what has happened to those who have already suffered devastating emotional and physical trauma. Christians, who are survivors, often struggle with the contrast between what they know to be scriptural truth and the overwhelming emotions they experience due to the abuse. They long to believe all God tells them in the Bible, yet they have difficulty bringing the truth into their hearts and living it out every day. Sexual abuse victims struggle with the following four major false beliefs about the abuse: It's my fault; I must be a terrible person for them to do this to me; I wanted them to do this to me; it didn't happen! and I must have made it up.  In this episode and the next, we will explore examples and causes of these false beliefs and how a survivor can overcome and be set free from the lies that keep them bound. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    40. How To Find Peace When You Feel Anxiety

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2021 11:04


    In this episode of Not Just a Hashtag, we have a short clip from Kristan Torres, our mental health counselor, on the topic of how to find peace when you are overwhelmed with anxiety. The reality is that anxiety is real and common. We all face anxiety. For some people anxiety is a nuisance, for others, it causes distress, while for others it can be debilitating. But what does the Bible have to say about anxiety? In this episode, Kristan takes a closer look at what anxiety is, where it comes from, and how we can find peace in the Psalms to help us overcome! We hope you enjoy it. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    39. Overcoming Anxiety With Special Guest Stevie Estler

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2021 79:28


    In this episode, we have special guest, Stevie Estler, founder of Built by Stevie join us. Stevie is a South Florida native and now lives in Nashville where she runs her all-female run carpentry business. Stevie tells her story of sexual abuse, healing, and how her journey has created a passion in herself to see other people set free. She details the hurdles she struggled with, how she overcame enormous odds and inspired listeners never to let themselves be silenced or defined by their victimization experiences. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    38. Overcoming Shame and Guilt

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2021 42:08


    In this episode, Mental Health Counselor of Hope Christian Counseling, Kristan Torres, and the Director of Trees of Hope, Nicole Escobar, talk about how to let go of feelings of shame and guilt associated with being sexually abused. Shame is a natural response to feeling uncovered or exposed. During the abuse, your body was probably uncovered, but there was also the uncovering of your mind. Your sense of innocence was destroyed and trust was lost. Innocence and trust must be restored. Survivors of abuse are left with frustrated hopes and plans. Dreams for having a healthy relationship with a father, a mate, a mother, a brother, or a child have been demolished. The abuse leaves victims believing that they are insignificant, of no account, no good. As you become aware of and overcome shame messages, these messages will have less power over you. In this episode, we give nine tips to overcome shame and how to replace it with strong connections with genuine people and empathy for yourself. Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    37. Dealing With Anger After Sexual Abuse And Deciding To Confront Your Abuser

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2021 50:44


    Victims of sexual abuse experience severe violations of personal boundaries. Consequently, anger and anger management problems are common for survivors. We often fear anger or try to avoid it because of its perceived destructive effects, but it is possible to be angry about the effects that sexual abuse has had on your life and not let that anger control your life. In this episode, Mental Health Counselor of Hope Christian Counseling, Kristan Torres, and the Director of Trees of Hope, Nicole Escobar, take a look at how you can use anger to fuel your healing journey. The team also looks at the purpose of confronting your abuse and perpetrator, either in-person or through a simulated outlet, in order to release your feelings of hurt and anger. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    36. Inner Child Healing

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2021 45:20


    Everyone has an inner child but not everyone associates childhood with fun and playfulness. If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, your inner child might seem small, vulnerable, and in need of protection. You may have buried the pain of your abuse through avoidance or allowed it to surface through anger. You may have done this to protect yourself — both your present self and the child you once were. Hiding pain doesn’t heal it. Instead, it often surfaces in your adult life, showing up as issues in personal relationships or difficulty meeting your own needs. Working to heal your inner child can help you address some of these issues. Healing your inner child can take time, patience and a willingness to go back to the traumatic event. In this episode, we provide five tips that can help you connect with your inner child to start your healing journey! Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    35. The Stages of Healing

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2021 37:52


    In this two-part series of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and Mental Health Counselor Kristan Torres look at the stages of healing from sexual abuse such as the emergency stage, the remembering stage, the decision to heal stage, the believing it happened stage, and breaking the silence stage. The importance of knowing the effects that sexual abuse has had on a survivor’s life is a key step in the healing process. In order to heal deeply, a survivor must choose to heal and must be willing to change. Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    34. How to Fight a Resistance to Change

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2021 58:08


    Are you ready to heal from sexual abuse but don’t know where to start? Does change seem scary to you? If you are ready to begin the healing journey, what are some barriers that could prevent you from healing? In this episode of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and Mental Health Counselor Kristan Torres look at elements of change, the stages of change, and ways to work through each stage so you can achieve your goal of beginning the healing journey. When it comes to healing from sexual abuse, there is no single solution that works for everyone. So do what’s best for you and don’t give up the fight! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    33. How to Heal From Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2021 48:34


    In this episode of “Not just a Hashtag,” Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, connect hope and healing from sexual abuse into everyday life. Have you been sexually abused and want to know what healing looks like? Do you need a release from the inappropriate shame or freedom from feeling unworthy? In this episode, we will look at the importance of walking through healing from sexual abuse, what it looks like, and where you can begin. However, you define healing, or whatever reason you find yourself here, we want you to feel supported and encouraged as you follow the path to healing and begin to regain control of your life. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 13: How to Protect Children From Sexual Abuse Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 88:09


    Statistics show that 95% of sexual abuse is preventable through education. Educating adults and children is the most effective way to combat sexual abuse. While sexual abuse is never a comfortable topic to discuss at any age, understanding the issue and learning how to prevent it is critically important. In this episode, the team dives into the first part of the two-part series as we cover topics from our prevention workshops such as: what constitutes contact and non-contact and sexual abuse, what the grooming process looks like, behavioral and physical symptoms of sexual abuse to look out for, and how to open the door to honest conversations with children. Prevention is the first line of defense in protecting children from sexual abuse, and if you are a parent or caregiver, this episode is too important to miss! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 12: The Prevalence of Sexual Abuse in Schools And How We Can Prevent it.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2020 70:58


    Sexual harassment and sexual assault is happening in our schools. It begins in elementary schools and occurs with alarming frequency in middle and high schools. Both girls and boys are victimized. What’s even worse is schools often believe they can protect themselves against legal action and bad press by simply denying or ignoring sexual abuse. On this episode, Nicole and Holly take a look at the prevalence of sexual abuse in schools, where it happens, laws and legal concerns for schools, reporting issues, and what we can to do with parental involvement to prevent sexual abuse from happening. If you are parent with a child in school, you don’t want to miss this episode. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 11: A Review of the Cuties Movie on Netflix and Sexual Abuse Prevention Tips

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2020 44:13


    In episode 11, host Nicole Escobar is joined by Victims Advocate, Holly, from Victim Services in Palm Beach. Together they take an honest look at the newly released Netflix movie, Cuties. Besides the apparent over-sexualization of young girls, the team looks at how this movie can be used as a tool to teach parents on how to prevent sexual abuse! Boundaries are a vital part of teaching the younger generation about self-worth, self-respect, and self-protection through a clear understanding of what constitutes appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior. How can we teach our children to feel empowered to protect themselves when they see a clear violation of body safety boundaries in the media? Films like Cuties, songs like Cardi B’s “WAP,” and so many other examples in today’s culture are driving the standard of acceptable content and sexual behavior lower and lower. If you are concerned about how to start the conversation with your child or teen on body safety and body empowerment, then this is the episode for you! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 10: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2020 45:43


    Our thoughts are powerful! Most of us know this. But many times, we continue with the same thinking patterns even though they get us frustrated, discouraged and sometimes feeling stuck. Join Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, as we show you some dysfunctional patterns of thinking and then some ways to combat or change these patterns so you can get unstuck, and start thinking thoughts that are more accurate and truthful about yourself and your life. What a difference this can make. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 9: Why Victims Don’t Report Sexual Abuse and Delayed Reporting Options

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2020 50:21


    In this episode, the team looks at the eye-opening statistic that 66% of sexual abuse cases go completely unreported. Often, the victim fears the perpetrator, or they are embarrassed and ashamed and believe the lie that what happened was their fault. In addition, many victims do not view their abuse as a crime and fear that law enforcement will not do anything to help them. Many survivors report these feelings, while those who were sexually abused by a family member or a trusted individual - a teacher, pastor, a coach, or other leader - struggle with strong mixed emotions and may be confused about how they feel towards their abuser. Many survivors do not know that, even if they did not report the abuse when it first happened (no matter the reason), they still have options to report it weeks, months or years later. Dig with us in this episode into the importance of identifying and reporting abuse as an important step on the healing journey. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 8: Anxiety, Mental Health, and Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2020 66:53


    In this episode, Kristan, our mental health counselor, helps us understand depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. It is one thing to deal with normal life stress, but when you add in a pandemic, interruption to daily life, and a loss of income, anxiety may not be far behind. Anxiety can be summed up as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome — and that’s exactly what we’re dealing with when it comes to COVID-19 and the civil unrest in our nation. If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, this episode is for you! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 7: Seven Practical Steps to a Happier Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2020 47:44


    This week the team looks at ways to help you move forward successfully on your healing journey. Life sometimes doesn’t go as planned - plans change, pandemics happen, injustices spark something in us that cannot be silenced. It’s been well said that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Having the right reactions lead to happiness and the wrong reactions lead to anxiety, worry, and fear. In this episode, the team covers 7 practical steps to live a happier life, which include taking walks, acts of kindness, and having a heart of gratitude. And while good habits can lead to a happier life, the team points to the ultimate giver of peace and joy. When your worldview gets clouded by trials, anxiety, and fears where do you turn? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 6: How a Pandemic Increases Vulnerabilities for Sexual Violence

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2020 66:01


    In “normal” times, the prevalence of sexual assault in our society is astoundingly high. We know that at some point in their lifetimes, one in three girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused. Yet, despite the numbers, sexual abuse is known to be the single most under-reported crime in the United States and throughout the world. Only 12 percent of child sexual abuse is ever reported to the authorities. During and following a pandemic like COVID-19, it is likely that there is an increase in the perpetration of sexual assaults, but a decrease in reporting even more than during times when conditions for reporting are optimal. In this episode, the team discusses how a pandemic can increase vulnerabilities in children and the elderly, as well as intimate partner violence. Although the problem is very real, the team provides you with practical ways that you can help these vulnerable people groups. You can be someone's shelter in the midst of the storm. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 5: Creating a System to Help You Heal

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2020 63:02


    In this episode, the team discusses life, wisdom, and what they have learned during COVID-19. They also tackle how important it is to have inner strength when life feels uncertain. What does inner strength look like for you? The systems we create enable habits that support our goals and create inner strength. If you have a goal of healing from sexual abuse, you don’t want to miss this episode! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

    SZN 2 Episode 4: How To Start By Believing

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2020 56:31


    In this episode, we have special guest Holly Carotenuto, who is a Sexual Assault Outreach Coordinator at the Palm Beach County Victim Services. She shares with us about the Start By Believing Campaign, which is a public awareness campaign launched by End Violence Against Women International in April 2011. It was created to end the cycle of silence and change the way society responds to sexual assault. Start by Believing reaches friends and family members, as well as professionals who interact with sexual assault survivors. You don't want to miss this eye-opening episode that tackles how changing the response to a disclosure of sexual assault/abuse by expressing belief and support, rather than doubt, shame, or blame can change the trajectory of a victims life. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support

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