Podcasts about worldly

In this episode, I share the full testimony of my two year journey through infertility.In this episode, I share what the waiting season was really like: the confusion, the questions, the tears, and all the ways God quietly and patiently reshaped my heart along the way.In this episode, I talk about:How God changed my heart toward motherhood and childrenWhy infertility challenged my faith in ways I'm grateful forAdvice for couples trying to conceiveWhat actually WORKED and what didn'tHow to ENJOY life while still waiting on GodHow this season reshaped my view of vocation, calling, and surrenderWhat's next for me and the future of The Called CareerMy prayer is that this episode encourages you, gives language to feelings you might not have known how to name, and reminds you that God is still working, even when the answer hasn't come yet.And if this resonates with you, or if you're in need of prayer, please don't hesitate to reach out.

In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/  sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com  Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/   Link Tree   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo

Reach Out: Please include your email and I will get back to you. Thanks!Revelation 17 One of the seven angels shows John the judgment of the great prostitute who sits on many waters. She symbolizes a powerful and corrupt system that has influenced kings and led people into spiritual immorality. She is dressed in purple and scarlet, decorated with gold, and holds a cup filled with abominations. She is Babylon the Great, the mother of harlots. She is drunk with the blood of the saints. John is amazed, and the angel explains that the beast she rides has seven heads and ten horns. These represent kingdoms and rulers who will turn on and destroy her. God uses their actions to fulfill His purpose. In the end, all who wage war against the Lamb will be defeated, and all who are faithful to Him will overcome.  Worldly power often appears strong, beautiful, and tempting, but its true nature is corrupt and opposed to God. Rome and other nations since then have been clothed in wealth and influence, leading nations into spiritual unfaithfulness. Although many are drawn to its promises, it is full of pride and violence, even against God's people. The beast and the kings who support her eventually turn against her, revealing how unstable and self-destructive evil truly is. God remains in control, working through even rebellious powers to fulfill His purpose. As followers of Christ, we must not be deceived by outward appearances. Our loyalty belongs to the Lamb, who will triumph. Faithfulness, purity, and devotion to Him will ultimately lead us to victory.  Heavenly Father, You are holy, just, and sovereign over all the powers of the world. We see how easily people are drawn to wealth, status, and influence, yet You reveal the true nature of evil behind these things. Help us to see clearly and not be deceived by what appears powerful or beautiful. Keep our hearts loyal to the Lamb and protect us from compromise. Strengthen us to remain faithful in a world that often opposes Your truth. Use even the brokenness of this world to fulfill Your purpose. We trust in Your victory and desire to walk in Your holiness.  Thought Questions: Rome was alluring to many for its immorality and materialism. Does the culture you live in try to draw you in, and how do you resist? God turned one evil power upon another. How can this help you trust in God's sovereignty even when all governments seem corrupt? Why was the Lamb able to overcome all who stood against Him? How is your daily life shaped by His absolute victory and incredible power?

In this episode, I sit down with Cory Dunham for a real and honest conversation about success, leadership, and faith. We talk about what happens when you hit the goals you've been chasing… and still feel empty. Cory shares his journey of shifting from fear-based, achievement-driven leadership to faith-first, intentional leadership rooted in identity and surrender.  This conversation is for high achievers who want to lead well, live aligned, and stop running on empty — in business, leadership, and life. __________________________________________________________ Ready for more? Here are 3 ways we can help you: 1)

Scriptures: Genesis 1:3, 6-7, 9, 14-15, 20, 24, 26, 28-31 Deuteronomy 8:14-19, Hebrews 13:14-16 NLTGod displayed his GENEROSITY as the very first giver of gifts.Gifts were meant to be EXCHANGED between us and God.God's gifts remind us to live other-WORLDLY.

The Importance and Power of God’s Word The Word of God is essential and powerful. Begotten by the Word. Reconciles us. Jesus is the good Word. The Bible can save souls, get people out of trouble, and change their thinking and actions. If it doesn’t change you, your salvation should be questioned. Matthew 11:2-6 – John’s Question John, in prison, questions if Jesus is the Messiah. Sends disciples to ask Jesus, “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” Everything that happened in Jesus’s ministry got people’s attention. Brought them to a place where they wanted to find out more. Many were in trouble and needed help. God was able to supply that help like no one else. The message of Jesus is still being broadcast throughout the world. Information travels quickly today. The Word of God is still being proclaimed. Surrendering to God’s Will People often try to control everything, preventing God from demonstrating His love and power. It’s necessary to surrender to God’s will. God accomplishes good in those who yield to His Spirit. The most important thing is to see souls saved. Testimony and Faith Sharing testimonies releases the power of God. The Hebrew word for testimony means “to tell what God has done.” Sharing what God has done releases the same power that was present in the original event. God can move again as He did in the beginning. Never give up on sharing what God has done in your life. God came to save the lost. John’s Example John’s life got worse, but he will rejoice in heaven for fulfilling his purpose. Preparing the way of the Lord. We should weigh our lives to determine if our actions bring glory to God or are just for personal satisfaction. The world can lead in many directions that don’t glorify God. Children of God should focus on seeing others come to Christ. The Active Word of God The Word of God is alive and active. Hebrews 4:12. Not a genie in a bottle, but the Word of Faith, God Almighty. John had doubts, even though he knew Jesus from the womb. It’s okay to question and wonder. John’s beheading may seem like a loss, but it was a godly life. He stepped aside and said, “Not my will, but thy will.” John had the testimony from the beginning: “I must decrease, and he must increase.” He lived it out. The Power and Reach of God’s Word The Word of God is real, powerful, and accomplishes its task. It hits the target. Defeats the enemy. Impacts the hearts of men. Nothing can interfere with the Word of God. Preaching in jail shares the message that “who the Son sets free is free indeed.” God loves those with life sentences. Have mercy on all people, as God has had mercy on you. God can turn anyone back to Him if they call on His name. God Hears and Reveals God always hears prayers and complaints. Worldly desires can become enslaving. God questions the motivations behind accumulating things. John’s life was about God’s business. John called out a man for his sin and was imprisoned. People will do anything to stay in their sin. Only Jesus can fix oneself. Jesus’s Response to John Jesus told John’s disciples to “go and show John again.” Show him the miracles and works being done. The blind receive sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the dead are raised, and the poor have the gospel preached. It’s still Jesus, and nothing has changed. The gospel is that Christ came, was crucified, buried, and rose again. The greatest event is to be arrested by the Holy Ghost and cry out for Jesus. The Great Commission Five principles based on loving God and loving your neighbor. Worship: Love the Lord with all your heart. Born-again people worship God freely. Question your salvation if you can’t worship God. Ministry: Love your neighbor as yourself. Everyone is called to be a minister in some way. Evangelism: Go make disciples. Share your testimony. Fellowship: Baptize men in His name. Become part of the body of Christ. Discipleship: Teaching the Word of God. Tell of God’s exploits. Ephatha – Open Ephatha means “open” in Arabic. Pray that God opens the hearts of the lost to receive the Word. Looking for an eternal house in heaven, whose builder and maker is God.

Listen as Pastor Daniel Hayworth unpacks the crucial difference between fleeting happiness and lasting biblical joy this Advent season. Perfect for your morning commute or workout, this episode will transform how you approach the Christmas season—and every challenging circumstance you face.The Apostle Paul wrote "Rejoice in the Lord always" while sitting in prison on capital charges. How is that possible? Because joy isn't about your feelings—it's about your faith.You'll Learn:✅ Why the presence of Jesus produces the gift of joy✅ How pain from the past and fear of the future steal your strength✅ The practical steps to receive, choose, and give joy daily✅ Why trusting God's promises unlocks complete joyThis message will help you enter the Advent season with fresh perspective and supernatural strength.New episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7 AM CT. Subscribe now and never miss an episode that equips you with biblical confidence for real-world battles.

Did you know that most Americans (exact percent shared in the episode) feel they are above average in intelligence? Worldly wisdom doesn't mean anything to God. In fact, He said He will destroy the wisdom of man. How, then, can we attain the true wisdom that God desires us to have? Take a listen to todays episode to learn how to Find True Wisdom

EPISODE 75 In this series, I share pages from my personal journal, God winks, or scripture that has really been talking to me lately. These episodes are short, sweet, and imperfect, but full of love, nonetheless. Thank you for allowing me to be real, raw, and just share the truth with you all.This week, when you start looking for validation from the world, remember that God knows your heart. He has claimed you as His own. Worldly validation is fleeting, but God's is eternal. We all have our imperfections, but we are all exactly where we are supposed to be on our life's journey. This episode is for you if:You want to learn to stop seeking validation from othersYou like to know you're not the only one playing the comparison game - and also want a way out of itYou're curious about what is in Jen's journalYou are strong. You are powerful. You are worthy.Connect with Jen:On Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jens.get.fit.group/On Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jens.get.fit.group/Check out or join Jen's Get Fit Group - http://jensgetfitgroup.comSubscribe to my newsletter “Behind the Weights” - https://jensgetfitgroup.com/subscribe-to-behind-the-weightsSHOW NOTES: https://jensgetfitgroup.com/episode75

If Christians are called to shape systems, then we must understand what distinguishes a Kingdom model from a worldly machine. Dr. Rutland brings clarity, simplicity, and unmatched leadership wisdom to this crucial distinction.  What You'll Learn in Part 2: How to identify the spirit, values, and drivers of worldly systems. What defines a Kingdom-driven system: righteousness, integrity, service, stewardship, and vision. Why leadership in the Kingdom is built on honor, humility, and accountability. How systems either form people into their image or free people into God's image. Why the Kingdom model produces transformation, not exploitation. A Word from Dr. Mark Rutland "Worldly systems demand success. Kingdom systems cultivate significance. One uses people—the other raises them." ABOUT DR. MARK RUTLAND — The Man, The Myth, The Legend Dr. Mark Rutland is a pastor, evangelist, educator, and New York Times best-selling author. His leadership journey has shaped universities, churches, and global missions. He has served as: Senior Pastor, Calvary Assembly of God, Orlando, FL President, Southeastern University, Lakeland, FL President, Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK Founder & Director, National Institute of Christian Leadership He also leads Global Servants, rescuing vulnerable girls from trafficking through the incredible House of Grace in Thailand. His life is a testament to the power of moving with God's voice—and His timing.

If Christians are called to shape systems, then we must understand what distinguishes a Kingdom model from a worldly machine. Dr. Rutland brings clarity, simplicity, and unmatched leadership wisdom to this crucial distinction.  What You'll Learn in Part 2: How to identify the spirit, values, and drivers of worldly systems. What defines a Kingdom-driven system: righteousness, integrity, service, stewardship, and vision. Why leadership in the Kingdom is built on honor, humility, and accountability. How systems either form people into their image or free people into God's image. Why the Kingdom model produces transformation, not exploitation. A Word from Dr. Mark Rutland "Worldly systems demand success. Kingdom systems cultivate significance. One uses people—the other raises them." ABOUT DR. MARK RUTLAND — The Man, The Myth, The Legend Dr. Mark Rutland is a pastor, evangelist, educator, and New York Times best-selling author. His leadership journey has shaped universities, churches, and global missions. He has served as: Senior Pastor, Calvary Assembly of God, Orlando, FL President, Southeastern University, Lakeland, FL President, Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK Founder & Director, National Institute of Christian Leadership He also leads Global Servants, rescuing vulnerable girls from trafficking through the incredible House of Grace in Thailand. His life is a testament to the power of moving with God's voice—and His timing.

Main Theme: True unity is powerful — whether for good or evil — but only unity built on obedience to God's Word can stand. Using Genesis 11 (Tower of Babel) and John 17 (Jesus' prayer for believers), Pastor Matthew taught that prideful unity seeks to glorify man, while holy unity glorifies God. The sermon called believers to become “one” with God, within themselves, and with one another, through humility and obedience. Man's Pride and the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1–9) Humanity once shared one language and one goal — to build a city and tower “whose top is in the heavens.” This unity was not righteous; it was rooted in pride and self-exaltation. “Let us make a name for ourselves.” — the cry of human arrogance. Pastor explained that Nimrod led this effort, motivated by defiance against God's authority and fear of another flood. Historian Josephus wrote that Nimrod's goal was to build a tower taller than any future flood could reach. Humanity still acts the same way today — building monuments, chasing power, and seeking fame — revealing that “man's heart hasn't changed.” Lesson: “You can build something big without God — but it won't last.” God's Response — Confusion and Division God “came down” to see what man had built — emphasizing His sovereignty: “They tried to build up, but He had to come down to see it.” The Lord noted their unity: “Nothing they propose to do will be withheld from them.” Unity, even for evil, is powerful. So God confused their language to protect mankind from greater rebellion. This was not destruction, but mercy through disruption — scattering people before sin could multiply unchecked. “The only thing that reached heaven from Babel was their sin.” Two Kinds of Unity Pastor contrasted two types of unity: Worldly unity – Prideful, self-glorifying, built on rebellion (Babel). Godly unity – Humble, self-denying, built on obedience (Christ). “It's powerful to be unified, even for the wrong reason — but it's holy when you're unified for the right one.” He warned that even evil movements gain momentum through unity, while the Church often loses ground because of division. The greatest form of unity begins with God Himself — aligning our will with His. “You'll never be unified with people until you're first unified with God.” Humility and the Example of Abraham Abraham's humility contrasted Babel's pride: He let Lot choose the better land, trusting God's promise instead of striving for position. “Abraham pitched his tent and built his altar — Lot pitched his tent and lost everything.” God told Abraham, “I will make your name great.” The key difference: Abraham waited on God to exalt him; Babel tried to exalt itself. Pastor connected this to Jesus' humility — who sought the Father's glory, not His own. “Jesus didn't look for fame; He looked for the Father's confirmation.” Jesus' Prayer for Unity (John 17:1–14) In John 17, Jesus prayed that His followers would be one as He and the Father are one. Unity is rooted in shared obedience and shared glory — not shared opinion. “If we don't care who gets the credit, we'll stay unified.” Jesus' request: “Glorify Your Son, that the Son may glorify You.” “Keep them through Your name that they may be one as We are one.” Pastor emphasized that Jesus prayed not for the world, but for those who belong to God — the Church that would reach the world through unity and truth. Lesson: “Unity doesn't mean sameness — it means shared purpose: glorifying God.” The Anatomy of Unity — Spirit, Soul, and Body Every believer must first be unified within themselves: Spirit (where the Holy Spirit dwells). Soul (mind, will, emotions). Body (the vessel of action). Without spiritual renewal, the soul leads — driven by emotion, intellect, and will. The Holy Spirit must rule the soul to align the believer with God's will. “You'll never be unified outwardly until you're unified inwardly.” Pastor described how old thought patterns (like “grooved paths” in the brain) must be renewed by the Word. “You've got to cut new paths in your mind — let the Holy Spirit groove His will into your thinking.” Godly Unity in Practice Starts in the home: Division between husbands and wives hinders prayer. Spreads to the Church: True revival requires believers who care more about obedience than credit. Extends to the nation: Real healing begins when unity is built around God's Word, not politics or culture. “Our rallying point is not religion, denomination, or last name — it's the Word of God.” Call to Action and Prayer Pastor closed with a call for repentance and restoration of unity: Individuals: Be reconciled to God through Christ. Marriages: Break division; walk as one. Churches: Give glory to God alone. Nations: Return to truth and righteousness. “The devil divides Christians, but unites evil causes. We must reverse that.” Core Message Unity is powerful — even when used wrongly. Godly unity begins with humility, obedience, and surrender. Pride builds towers; faith builds altars. To be one with others, first be one with God. The Church's greatest strength is not its size or sound — it's its unity in the Spirit and truth.

Advent hope doesn't require us to ignore the reality of our brokenness. We must see it to grasp the hope of Jesus' return. Pastor Darrell looks at Luke 22 and 2 Corinthians 7:10 as we consider godly sorrow as seen in Peter as well as worldly sorrow as seen in Judas. This leads us to see our need for Christ.

Have you broken through the barriers of worldly opinion, distraction, and pride in your walk with Christ?Copyright Disclaimer: All media in this production is used by permission & under copyright by its owners: shiftworship.com, epidemicsound.com, CCLI 20811957 / CVLI 20811964, Artlist.io. This production is not being monetized in any way.Thanks for listening. Be sure to visit cedarstreet.org for more information.Listen to more audio sermons HERE.Connect with us HERE.E-mail us at info@cedarstreet.orgFACEBOOKINSTAGRAMYOUTUBE

Sermon 11-30-25 - "Chasing Worldly Success" – 2 Chronicles 28 – Pastor Mark de Kluyver The Sunday morning sermon of First Baptist Church of Kearney, Nebraska.

On May 29, 1925, Percy Fawcett sent a final letter to his wife before he ventured deeper into the unmapped jungles of Brazil. He was seeking a fabled lost city of great splendor, determined to be the first explorer to share its location with the world after years of searching. But his team of explorers got lost, the city was never found, and many expeditions failed to recover either. Percy’s courage and passion, while admirable, was squandered on a lost city that could never be reached. If we’re honest, there are many unreachable goals in our lives that hold a similar power over us. But there is a real treasure for each person that’s worth seeking with all of our heart, mind, and strength. In his letter to believers in Philippi, Paul put it this way: “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:8). Unlike a fabled city—yielding riches, fame, or power—knowing Jesus and believing in Him is a treasure without equal. It’s the very thing for which we have been made. Worldly goals of power or status, or even the appearance of righteousness through keeping the law, are nothing compared to knowing Jesus (vv. 6–7). Are we spending our time and energy on something that can never satisfy? May Christ help us check what “city” we’re seeking.

John 10:26 “But you do not believe because you are not of My sheep. Those who don't believe that Jesus is God in the flesh, the Door, the good Shepherd, the Light of Life, the one who lays down His life for us, don't believe because they are not His sheep. They follow another shepherd, the shepherd of the world. They recognize the voice of their shepherd, Worldly-wiseman, and they believe he is the door to significance, security, acceptance, and self-glory. Unbelief in God and in Christ characterizes all who are not His. You could tell them about Jesus all day long, and they will not have ears to hear. However, we can't tell who are His sheep or who are not His sheep until we love and speak in Jesus' name.

Of course he's a man, but he supposed to be different! If he isn't ready to give up the world and worldly things, he shouldn't be in any pulpit! Like it or not, it's the truth! Too many people give their pastors too many passes and it's why they keep messing up and doing all kinds of worldly things. It's why we're seeing the world in the churches. The church leaders are ungodly! Members aren't holding their pastors accountable because they too are still in the world, therefore the behaviors of their worldly pastors is acceptable.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

Jan 26, 1997MalaysiaContinued from Part 1 and Part 2-

Send me a messageWhat happens to your supply chain when it gets too hot for workers to show up?In this episode I'm joined by Kevin Vranes, Chief Product Officer at Worldly, a platform working with tens of thousands of suppliers to generate real sustainability intelligence across global supply chains. We dig into why climate exposure, labour disruption, tightening disclosure rules, and escalating NGO scrutiny are converging into one of the biggest resilience challenges companies have ever faced, and why the old ways of managing risk simply won't cut it anymore.You'll hear how rising heat stress across manufacturing regions is creating a very real form of operational fragility, with knock-on effects that most leadership teams still underestimate. Kevin explains why the gap between brand-level assumptions and on-the-ground realities is widening, and why primary data from deep-tier suppliers is becoming essential infrastructure rather than a “nice to have”.We break down where AI is genuinely transforming sustainability analysis, including the shift from weeks of spreadsheet work to seconds of machine-driven insight, and where human relationships, incentives, and policy signals still determine whether change actually happens on the factory floor. And you might be surprised to learn why NGOs, not regulators, may become the true enforcers of global climate disclosure.If you care about supply chain resilience, Scope 3, data visibility, or the next wave of sustainability risk, this episode goes right to the heart of what's coming, and what leaders need to prepare for.

Jan 26, 1997Malaysia-

Jan 26, 1997MalaysiaContinued from Part 1 and to be continued in Part 3-

The World’s Hopelessness and the Need for Comfort Many people, especially young individuals, feel hopeless and see no reason to live, leading to tragic events like suicide. Example: A recent suicide of a freshman in the community. The enemy (evil forces) plays on these feelings, suggesting that ending life is the only solution. The world is full of darkness, and people are oppressed by evil forces. Divine help is necessary to combat these forces, as individuals cannot fight them alone. Many seek comfort in worldly things like relationships, alcohol, or drugs, which only provide temporary relief. God as the God of All Comfort God is the God of all comfort, offering peace and hope that surpasses worldly solutions. Experiencing God’s comfort involves a transformation, where darkness is replaced by the light of Jesus Christ. Even in the midst of suffering and pain, believers have access to God’s comfort. Pastor Tommy emphasizes the importance of recognizing God as the source of comfort. The Apostle Paul attributed all comfort to God, even amidst his own tribulations. Paul’s hardships: stonings, beatings, hunger, and cold. Pastor Tommy shares a personal testimony of finding comfort in God at a young age. At nine years old, feeling lost and scared, Pastor Tommy turned to God and found salvation and comfort. The Nature of Comfort Comfort is both a noun (something received) and a verb (something actively done). God’s comfort empowers, encourages, strengthens, aids, and helps. It is not just a passive experience but an active working of God in one’s life. True comfort comes from God, not from the things of this world. God’s Comfort in Tribulation God comforts in all tribulations, and there is nothing that He cannot help with. He offers peace and hope, even in the face of loss and sorrow. The Apostle Paul’s life demonstrates that tribulations can lead to patience, experience, and hope. The comfort of God can step into dark and bleak situations, offering deliverance. Worldly solutions only numb the senses, while God offers real and lasting comfort. Means of Receiving God’s Comfort Jesus Christ: Jesus is the conduit of God’s comfort. The story of the woman who touched the hem of Jesus’ garment illustrates how faith in Jesus can bring healing and comfort. The woman had spent all her money on doctors and was desperate for healing. She believed that if she could just touch Jesus’ garment, she would be healed. Jesus acknowledged her faith and declared her whole. The story of the blind man who cried out to Jesus for mercy demonstrates the importance of persistence in seeking God’s help. The blind man kept calling on Jesus despite others telling him to be quiet. Jesus heard his cry and healed him, telling him that his faith had made him whole. The Holy Spirit: Jesus promised not to leave His disciples comfortless but to send the Comforter, who is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit guides believers into all truth and brings to remembrance the teachings of Jesus. The Holy Spirit indwells believers and provides constant comfort. Even when feeling down or discouraged, believers should remember that the Holy Spirit is within them, offering comfort. Acts 9:31 mentions that the Holy Spirit comforted the churches. The Scriptures: The Bible is a source of comfort, offering hope and encouragement through its teachings. Isaiah 41:10 is cited as an example of a comforting scripture. “Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee; I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Pastor Tommy shares a personal experience of receiving comfort from Isaiah 41:10 during a difficult time. While feeling discouraged in a hotel room, Pastor Tommy prayed for help. Pastor Tommy received a text message with Isaiah 41:10, which brought immediate comfort and reassurance. The People of God: Believers can comfort one another through their presence, words, and actions. The example of people gathering to comfort Mary and Martha after the death of Lazarus is given. Simply being in the house of God and among fellow believers can provide comfort. Conclusion The message concludes with an invitation to seek comfort in Jesus Christ. True comfort is found in Christ, not in the things of this world. Rejecting Christ means missing out on the comfort and hope that He offers. Pastor Tommy encourages listeners to call on the Lord and experience His saving and comforting power.

I Corinthians 9:24-27 Numbers 11:4-6 Psalm 78:25-31 Numbers 11:31-34 Exodus 32:1-8 Exodus 32:19-25 Ezekiel 14:3-4 Ephesians 5:5 Colossians 3:5

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NLT) A flock of wild geese was flying south for the winter. One goose looked down and noticed a group of domestic geese by a little pond near a farm. He noticed that the domestic geese had plenty of grain to eat. Life seemed relatively easy for them. So, he flew down and hung out with the geese until spring. He enjoyed their food, their company, and their leisurely pace. His plan was to rejoin his flock of geese when they flew north again. When spring came, he heard his flock overhead and flew up to join them. But he had grown a bit fat from all the seed he had eaten. Flying was difficult for him. So, he decided to spend one more season on the farm and then rejoin his flock on its next winter migration. When the geese flew south the following fall, the goose flapped his wings a little, but he just kept eating his grain. He had simply lost interest. This is an ideal illustration of how the world influences believers. Usually, there’s no single dramatic event that transforms us. The process doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it occurs gradually. Like the goose, we may be going about our business, doing what we’re supposed to do, when something catches our eye. Something that looks more appealing. Something that requires less effort. We get distracted. We temporarily suspend what we’re supposed to be doing to investigate. And we like what we see—often because it appeals to our old nature. And if we start to feel guilty about abandoning what we’re supposed to be doing, we rationalize. We tell ourselves that the sidetrack is only temporary—that we’ll soon return to what we’re supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, our best intentions get lost in the convenience or excitement of the sidetrack. Soon, the things of God—the things we’re supposed to be doing—become less appealing to us, and the things of this world become more appealing. After a while, we lose all interest in the things of God. The apostle Paul understood this process all too well. He saw it happen to one of his trusted Christian companions. In his last letter to Timothy, he wrote, “Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life” (2 Timothy 4:10 NLT). That’s why Paul warned the believers in Rome, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2 NLT). We have a choice: Either we will be conformed to this world, or we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It’s one or the other. The question is, which way will you go? Reflection question: Which worldly influences present the biggest challenge for you? Discuss Today's Devo in Harvest Discipleship! — The audio production of the podcast "Daily Devotions from Greg Laurie" utilizes Generative AI technology. This allows us to deliver consistent, high-quality content while preserving Harvest's mission to "know God and make Him known."All devotional content is written and owned by Pastor Greg Laurie. Listen to the Greg Laurie Podcast Become a Harvest PartnerSupport the show: https://harvest.org/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Father shows us how our lifestyle affects our service to God.

Did you know that “Repentance” is not God's punishment — it's His invitation. It's not Him shouting, “I'm done with you,” but whispering, “Come home.”For too long, the word repent has sounded like a threat, but it's actually the sound of freedom. The Greek word metanoia means “to change your mind.” It's not simply apologizing; it's deciding, “I don't want death anymore — I want life.”Sin isn't just bad behavior; it's bad direction. And repentance is the U-turn of grace.Years ago, I could quote Scripture but not always live it with my words. My grandfather had taught me to fight with my mouth, and I brought that same fire into marriage. One night, after a heated argument, Michelle looked at me and said, “Matthew, your words still carry a sword — but not the Spirit.”The Holy Spirit spoke immediately: “This is repentance — not feeling sorry, but letting Me rebuild what pride keeps breaking.”That moment broke me. I realized repentance isn't God humiliating us — it's God healing us. When you turn around, you don't run into judgment; you run into mercy.2 Corinthians 7:10 says, “Godly sorrow produces repentance that leads to salvation without regret.” Worldly sorrow says, “I feel bad I got caught.” Godly sorrow says, “I can't stand being away from You.”That's what salvation starts with — a heart that says, “I've had enough of running.”Here's the truth: sin always leads to death. The Bible says, “The wages of sin is death.” But repentance opens the door to the greatest exchange in history — “The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”That's why Jesus came. He didn't die to make you religious; He died to make you free. On the cross, He took every sin, every shame, every regret — and when He said “It is finished,” He meant it.You can't earn that forgiveness. You can't deserve it. You simply receive it.

Preached by Everett Berry

Aaron lifted his hands toward the people and blessed them. — Leviticus 9:22 Our culture is obsessed with happiness. We seek joy in wealth, in our careers, in sports and leisure, and in a host of other things. Books have been written; research conducted; podcasts, movies, and TV shows produced—all promising a way to contentment. Yet soul-satisfying joy remains out of reach. Worldly happiness is fleeting at best, and it fails to deliver on its lofty promises.That's because we are created to find our deepest joy in a relationship with God. But our sin keeps us apart from God. How can we be restored to the joy of God's presence?As a representative of the people to God, the high priest offered sacrifices for the people's sins. But today's reading shows that the priest also represented God to the people. After completing the sacrifices Aaron the high priest raised his hands and pronounced God's blessing on the people. God had accepted the offerings and—through Aaron—spoke a word of grace and comfort to his people.This word of grace is for us too! After his resurrection, Jesus turned to his disciples, “lifted up his hands and blessed them” (Luke 24:50). God had accepted the sacrifice of Jesus' life and death, so, as our great High Priest, Jesus could speak on God's behalf and pronounce favor on us. Because of Jesus, God turns his face toward us, and the light of his smile shines on us and gives us peace (see Numbers 6:22-26). There is no greater happiness! Father, when your people saw your glory, they fell facedown and worshiped you. As you smile on us, may we too offer ourselves in worship. Amen.

A special message from Pastor Sof (A Study of the Gospel of 1 John).... 1 John Ch 5 v 16-21, Living with Confidence in Jesus If you are interested in attending our LIVE teachings (Wednesdays @ 7:00 pm & Sundays @ 10:00 am), you are invited to visit us at 4218 Boston Ave. Lubbock, Texas. To connect with us, you can call us at (806) 799-2227, email us at calvarylubbock@hotmail.com, or checkout our website at CalvaryChapelLubbock.church. You can also watch us on Facebook and contact us through Facebook Messenger. Please feel free to let us know about your walk with Jesus, as we would love to hear it and pray with you. If you'd like to partner with us to help us take the Gospel to the world, just click on the DONATE button on our website, let us know through Facebook Messenger, or in person. We pray that the rest of your week be blessed and that you share the love of Jesus with everyone that you encounter.

This week on Chocolate Cake Bytes, we visit with Kammi for an episode that will have you rethinking the language of self-growth and spirituality. What do we really mean when we talk about abundance, authenticity, or manifesting? And how do the words we use shape our understanding of gospel principles—sometimes in subtle, crucial ways?Dive in as we untangle the world's definitions from sacred doctrine and explore how everyday words can be spiritual linchpins—or minefields. With a blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful analysis, we'll consider how the Savior remains at the heart of true abundance and authentic living—even when the words sound the same but mean something altogether different.What if some of our favorite self-help buzzwords have hidden implications? Could we be missing the Savior in our drive for growth? Tune in to be challenged, surprised, and maybe even inspired to ask: Where is God in the words I use and the path I'm choosing?Please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. You can email me at ken@chocolatecakebytes.com and follow me at https://www.facebook.com/ChocolateCakeByteshttps://www.instagram.com/chocolatecakebytes/Check out my new podcast: The Unstuck Career podcast athttps://kenwilliamscoaching.com/listen

In this episode, our pastors explore the vital role of self-discipline in the Christian life and the pursuit of sanctification. Why is self-discipline difficult—even for pastors and leaders? What does the Bible mean by discipline, self-control, and self-denial? And how does God use these to shape us into Christlikeness? Through Scripture, practical analogies, and real-life challenges, the pastors discuss: • Why discipline is essential—not only for leaders, but for every believer • How true self-discipline is rooted in love for God and others • The transformative power of spiritual habits like prayer and Scripture • How discipline produces joy, peace, and spiritual fruit • What to do when you struggle or feel spiritually distracted • How to pursue consistent growth in following Jesus Click here to Subscribe to our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCenfIkvDIJa4Qb4WgsH8hkw?sub_confirmation=1 REDEEMING TRUTH MEDIA: http://redeemingtruthmedia.org/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/redeemerbibleaz/ For more information about Redeemer Bible Church in Gilbert, Arizona, or to help support this ministry, please visit us at https://www.redeemeraz.org Join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/redeemeraz Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/redeemeraz Never miss a sermon, find our Redeeming Truth Podcast in your favorite player, and subscribe!

Welcome to episode #244!

In this NBN episode, host Hollay Ghadery speaks with author Tamara Jong about her memoir, Worldly Girls (Book*hug Press, 2025). Tamara Jong's powerful memoir documents the slow unravelling of her connection to her faith and the tragic history of her fractured family, shining a light into the dark corners of memory that have haunted her well into adulthood. With clear-eyed honesty and written in sparse yet searing prose, Jong collects the fragments of her unconventional childhood, with her busy schedule of Jehovah's Witness meetings, Bible study, and door-to-door ministering. She also details her emotionally distant father and alcoholic mother's tumultuous marriage, her deep yearnings to become a mother after the loss of her own, and her struggles with mental health. After corporate and spiritual burnout, and a suicide attempt at the age of thirty-two, Jong comes to understand that the strict religion she had long believed would protect her prevented her from pursuing her true sense of self. In a story that traverses a wide range of potent themes—including addiction, estrangement, grief, infertility, and forgiveness—the ultimate message of Worldly Girls is one of hope as Jong finds her own path to healing and belonging. About Tamara Jong:  TAMARA JONG is a Tiohtià:ke (Montréal) born writer of Chinese and European ancestry. Her work has been published in the Humber Literary Review, Room Magazine, and The Fiddlehead, and has been both long and shortlisted for various creative non-fiction prizes. She is a graduate of The Writer's Studio at Simon Fraser University, and a former member of Room Magazine's collective. She currently lives and works on Treaty 3 territory, the occupied and ancestral lands of the Haudenosaunee, Anishinabewaki, Attiwonderonk, and Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation (Guelph, ON). Worldly Girls is her first book. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

In this NBN episode, host Hollay Ghadery speaks with author Tamara Jong about her memoir, Worldly Girls (Book*hug Press, 2025). Tamara Jong's powerful memoir documents the slow unravelling of her connection to her faith and the tragic history of her fractured family, shining a light into the dark corners of memory that have haunted her well into adulthood. With clear-eyed honesty and written in sparse yet searing prose, Jong collects the fragments of her unconventional childhood, with her busy schedule of Jehovah's Witness meetings, Bible study, and door-to-door ministering. She also details her emotionally distant father and alcoholic mother's tumultuous marriage, her deep yearnings to become a mother after the loss of her own, and her struggles with mental health. After corporate and spiritual burnout, and a suicide attempt at the age of thirty-two, Jong comes to understand that the strict religion she had long believed would protect her prevented her from pursuing her true sense of self. In a story that traverses a wide range of potent themes—including addiction, estrangement, grief, infertility, and forgiveness—the ultimate message of Worldly Girls is one of hope as Jong finds her own path to healing and belonging. About Tamara Jong:  TAMARA JONG is a Tiohtià:ke (Montréal) born writer of Chinese and European ancestry. Her work has been published in the Humber Literary Review, Room Magazine, and The Fiddlehead, and has been both long and shortlisted for various creative non-fiction prizes. She is a graduate of The Writer's Studio at Simon Fraser University, and a former member of Room Magazine's collective. She currently lives and works on Treaty 3 territory, the occupied and ancestral lands of the Haudenosaunee, Anishinabewaki, Attiwonderonk, and Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation (Guelph, ON). Worldly Girls is her first book. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/literature

Join us for this powerful sermon from Alliance Church on November 2, 2025, where Pastor explores the faith of Moses from Hebrews 11:24-28. Discover how Moses rejected the treasures of Egypt, embraced mistreatment for God's people, and persevered by fixing his eyes on an eternal reward. Drawing from the Exodus story, this message unpacks how true faith is rational, forward-looking, and empowered by our weaknesses—perfect for anyone seeking deeper biblical insight on living by faith in challenging times.Key highlights:-Moses' choice to identify with God's people over Pharaoh's palace (0:00)-The rationality of faith: Doing the math on obedience vs. sin (5:45)-Looking ahead to God's rewards, inspired by Jesus' endurance (12:30)-Embracing weaknesses as vessels for God's power (18:15)-The Passover as a picture of salvation by faith in the blood of the Lamb (22:40)-Celebrating baptisms and real-life faith stories (28:00)If you're searching for sermons on faith, Moses in the Bible, or Hebrews 11 explained, this video will inspire you to align your life with God's Word. Subscribe for more uplifting sermons, Bible studies, and messages from Alliance Church. Like and comment below: How has faith shaped your decisions?

Faith Baptist Church in Hamilton, NJ. Lance Walker is the Lead Pastor. Visit us at www.fbcchurch.org

Send us a textGrace and peace to youMy heart breaks for the hatred and anger being expressed in this world although scripture makes it clear that it will happen.I felt led to share the unwavering biblical truth and reality in hopes of those that claim to be followers but not reflect Christ at all. There is a right and wrong way to battle injustice in this world and the bible explains how to to face it. Its still hard and heartbreaking but no more than peoples unbelief and nominal faith that breaks Christs heart. Let us be spiritually and scripturally awake and face injustice until Christs inevitable return.Big LoveBrother JeffSupport the show

Ghosts, ghouls, goblins, aliens, millennials-dressing-up-weird-because-they-can't-afford-homes-but-they-can-splurge-on-hair-dye, and candy corn...It's that time of year again — October 2025, when brainrot meets toothrot on All Hallow's Eve.And this week, we're concluding our two-part special that'll keep you shivering in your skivvies.Carol Malone, a forensic paranormal scientist, has been featured on the Travel Channel and consulted for television and film. Known as the godmother of forensic science in the paranormal world, Carol bridges the gap between laboratory precision and the unexplained.She's spent three decades applying forensic methodologies - from blood-spatter analysis to environmental baselining - to haunted locations, turning ghost stories into data points and cold cases into energy maps.  She's no run-of-the-mill "paranormal investigator" or "ghost hunter" or "Jack Osbourne." (RIP Ozzy btw. We love your stuff).  No no...she is a seeker of proof!  And since she was friends with Ed and Lorraine Warren (see: The Conjuring or The Demonologist or The Amityville Horror or....The Conjuring 2...) and they let you into the inner circle, she's gotta be doing something right!  In Part Two, she speaks with Greg about:  -Why paranormal apps are mostly junk science (and dangerously misleading).-How the Mind Machine triggered a glowing cross witnessed by 50 people.-The forensic evidence that consciousness interacts with physical matter.-Why mainstream science fears paranormal proof more than ghosts themselves.-The moment reality stopped behaving like… reality.And did we mention it's scary?!?!Happy Halloween, Loopers. This is the perfect spoooooky listen while you're stuck in the upside-down and your only two choices for podcasts are this or Joe Rogan....good luck. Find Carol on her Facebook page at FPI Unsolved: https://www.facebook.com/fpi.unsolved Let Greg know how you like the show. Write your review, soliloquy, Haiku or whatever twisted thoughts you want to share at https://ratethispodcast.com/openloops

When you're estranged from your child, the pain can feel like a constant void in your heart. We've been in the Release series here on the podcast. Release is a free audio class I've been putting out on Tuesdays, and it has been about letting go of what's blocking you from feeling better, and from increasing your odds of reconciling with your child. Today is the final lesson of the series, where we bring it all together. . There are voices within the family estrangement and reconciliation space  that tell mothers to put up walls, to harden their hearts… to stop trying. And maybe on the surface that sounds strong, but I believe love wants something different. Love doesn't want walls. Love wants to forgive. Love wants to hope. Love wants to heal.  . In this episode of The Estranged Mom Coach™, we're talking about what it means to walk the way of love, even when the world tells you to do the opposite. It's a message about obedience, about freedom, and about the kind of love that keeps the door open for reconciliation. Let's talk about it.  . Next Steps: 1) Apply for your FREE consultation to talk to Jenny 1:1. Find out the exact path forward to feeling better and greatly increasing your chances of getting your son or daughter back in your life. And learn how estrangement coaching can get you there: www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/schedule    ⬇️ 2) Access your audio meditation to help you cast your anxieties and worries about estrangement at the feet of Jesus: https://www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/meditation   ⬇️ 3) Join the free Facebook support community for Christian estranged mothers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianestrangedmothers    ⬇️ 4) Download Your Free Guide Of What To Do When Your Adult Child Estranges: https://www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/child-estrangement-next-steps  . Client Reviews… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  Jenny's teachings have produced results reconnecting me with my estranged daughter I cannot express enough gratitude for the incredible support and guidance received in the most tragic time of my life from coach Jenny Good. Her faith, compassion, understanding, dedication and display of radical love has truly been life-changing for me. I was so overwhelmed with feelings of confusion, guilt, and sadness. I felt lost and didn't know how to navigate through the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. However, from the very first call, Jenny created a safe and non-judgmental space for me to share my details. Her ability to listen attentively and empathize while helping me understand a different way of thinking is truly remarkable. She understood my feelings and offered tools each session in ways I have not experienced even from therapy. I am forever thankful for the medicine she has poured into me to be the very best version of myself! This has rippled into all areas of life for me. Jenny's teachings have produced results reconnecting me with my estranged daughter! Thank you for being the vessel of unwavering faith & love that so many of us could benefit from, estranged or not. A true Godsend.  - Melinda Wyman . ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I am living a truly happy life, and I reconciled with my son  Having a coach and mentor who is rooted in Christ is very important. I've experienced so much inner healing with Jenny as my Coach. I am living a truly happy life, and I reconciled with my son! I feel empowered to continue stepping into my full power as a mother and to live a life where my children matter, but they don't determine my worth. I am me again. - Carol Adams

James 4:1–12 teaches that conflict is unavoidable in a sinful world, but believers can choose how to respond: in a worldly way or a godly way. Worldly conflict starts with selfish desires, and it puts self over God. It causes division, making Satan glad and Jesus grieve. Godly conflict, however, comes through submission to God. It resists the devil and invites the Holy Spirit to guide our emotions.

2 Corinthians

In this message, Pastor Brandon unpacks Matthew 5:33–48 and shows how kingdom living sometimes looks like losing now—but it's actually trading up forever. Jesus calls us to radical honesty, refusal to retaliate, open-handed generosity, and love for enemies. Each choice may seem like a worldly disadvantage, yet heaven's ledger records it as eternal gain (Matthew 5:12; 6:19–21). Key Points • Truthfulness (vv. 33–37): Let your "Yes" be yes—no spin, just integrity before God. • Non-retaliation (vv. 38–42): "Turn the other cheek." Strength under control reflects the King. • Generosity (v. 42): Give and lend without calculating payback; trust the Father to repay. • Enemy-love (vv. 43–48): Pray for those who oppose you—showing the family resemblance to your Father in heaven. Why it Matters Choosing truth over image, mercy over payback, and generosity over self-protection may cost you now—but Christ promises greater reward and deeper Christlikeness that lasts forever. Call to Action If this message encouraged you, please like, share, and subscribe. Comment below: Where is Jesus calling you to "lose" now for eternal gain?

In this message, Pastor Brandon unpacks Matthew 5:33–48 and shows how kingdom living sometimes looks like losing now—but it's actually trading up forever. Jesus calls us to radical honesty, refusal to retaliate, open-handed generosity, and love for enemies. Each choice may seem like a worldly disadvantage, yet heaven's ledger records it as eternal gain (Matthew 5:12; 6:19–21). Key Points • Truthfulness (vv. 33–37): Let your “Yes” be yes—no spin, just integrity before God. • Non-retaliation (vv. 38–42): “Turn the other cheek.” Strength under control reflects the King. • Generosity (v. 42): Give and lend without calculating payback; trust the Father to repay. • Enemy-love (vv. 43–48): Pray for those who oppose you—showing the family resemblance to your Father in heaven. Why it Matters Choosing truth over image, mercy over payback, and generosity over self-protection may cost you now—but Christ promises greater reward and deeper Christlikeness that lasts forever. Call to Action If this message encouraged you, please like, share, and subscribe. Comment below: Where is Jesus calling you to “lose” now for eternal gain?

2 Corinthians

Ghosts, ghouls, goblins, aliens, questionable Taylor Swift lyrics, and candy corn...It's that time of year again — October 2025, when brainrot meets toothrot on All Hallow's Eve.And this week, we're kicking off a two-part special that'll have you shivering in your skivvies.Carol Malone, a forensic paranormal scientist, has been featured on the Travel Channel and consulted for television and film. Known as the godmother of forensic science in the paranormal world, Carol bridges the gap between laboratory precision and the unexplained.She's spent three decades applying forensic methodologies - from blood-spatter analysis to environmental baselining - to haunted locations, turning ghost stories into data points and cold cases into energy maps.  She's no run-of-the-mill "paranormal investigator" or "ghost hunter" or "Jack Osbourne." (RIP Ozzy btw. We love your stuff).  No no...she is a seeker of proof!  And since she was friends with Ed and Lorraine Warren (see: The Conjuring or The Demonologist or The Amityville Horror or....The Conjuring 2...) and they let you into the inner circle, she's gotta be doing something right!  In Part One, she speaks with Greg about:  -The secret behind why energy and life after death are almost certainly real.-How brain trauma can open new channels of perception.-The science behind psychic ability and consciousness transfer.-What those TV ghost hunters keep getting wrong (and why Carol's real fieldwork since the late '90s is nothing like it).-One eerie detail about the human body that might just prove the soul IS REAL?!?And did we mention it's scary?  Happy Halloween, Loopers. This is the perfect spoooooky listen while you're rush delivering that costume piece from Amazon....Find Carol on her Facebook page at FPI Unsolved: https://www.facebook.com/fpi.unsolved Let Greg know how you like the show. Write your review, soliloquy, Haiku or whatever twisted thoughts you want to share at https://ratethispodcast.com/openloops

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices