The Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast with Tricia-Anne Y. Morris

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Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary In today's episode we go behind the scenes with Pastor Buddy Walker who discusses how to prepare for marriage, becoming the right pick, the importance of contentment and more! Listen to the full episode and if you missed his previous episodes on Love After Divorce, listen to Ep# 56 & 57. Key Takeaways Some persons make wedding plans without truly assessing whether they are ready to be married or are suited for each other (2:52) God has given women a certain wisdom that men need to respect and as women we need to ensure that this respect is there before we head into marriage (10:00) Begin to evaluate the health of the relationship before you decide to go into the romantic stage of the relationship. Because you don't want to become romantically involved in a relationship that's not healthy (13:07) It is important to be content because it helps you to make wise decisions and avoid foolish mistakes (14:36) Commitment (covenant) comes from the heart of God (25:05) The man is the head of the wife. This isn't about domination or rulership but about him taking responsibility and putting his wife's well being and that of his children first (28:15) Top Quotes If anyone truly is ready for marriage, there's a learning curve. As you well know, there are things you will not understand or grow into until you're actually in the relationship but doing our very best to enter with wisdom and maturity, realistic expectations (3:22) I don't want to imply that you're going to find a person that is perfect in every way...But if the young woman takes it on herself, that she's going to be the reformer or the transformer...the dynamics of the relationship will change (7:51) He (God) chose marriage as a means of helping us to fully grow into the potential that He has given to us. And someone who says, It's not good for a man to be alone, it could mean that there's going to be a deficiency in that man's life, without the input from a loving spouse (11:23) My wife is a woman of great wisdom. And she doesn't try to control me. She doesn't try to mold me into what she wants me to be. But she speaks into my life and I value her perspectives on things that she can say to me (12:42) Be careful about being too desperate. You know, being able to be content. In whatever state you find yourself if you're single, being able to be content in that state, because when you're content, then you're not going to make foolish impulse (14:36) If you're single, you can totally give yourself to serving the Lord without distraction. It's better to stay single...unless...You are both radically and totally committed to serving Christ with your whole life...You can do more together than what you could do by yourself. And there is no distraction because you're in it together (21:50) Resources Scriptures: Matthew 19:5, Proverbs 1:20, Ephesians 5:23 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes how he met his current wife, the steps he took to test the relationship to ensure this was right, and how his ex wife later became a friend to his new wife. Key Takeaways If we seek God about the challenges in our marriage, He will reveal when a marriage should be considered over. He will release us (3:28) Marriage is about coming together with someone who will help us to become the person that God intended for us to be (6:18) It's important when preparing to meet someone to get to know that person, their perspectives on things and if these line up with Biblical principles and with who you are (12:32) It's important to seek pastoral counsel when making significant decisions generally and re remarrying including to avoid rebounding (15:27) Find ways to assess whether this person is a Christian, shares your Christian values and has truly committed his life to Christ. That the person is very sincere and that there are no warnings as far as proceeding in development of the relationship (17:26) Top Quotes I wanted to be certain that in God's eyes I was divorced, legally....did God want me to still hold out hope that somehow our marriage would be still restored or was it truly that that marriage even in God's eyes had ended? (1:13) When he said, It's not good for man to be alone, He was actually referring to something more than just loneliness or a need for affection. That He was talking about inner life growth. He was talking also about wholeness (5:59) I believe what I saw in her eyes was mercy and compassion (10:25) She told me that she had totally committed her life to Christ and that she was at a stage in her life that that was very important. And that she was not interested in starting a relationship with someone who professes to be a Christian and yet wanting to live worldly (11:54) People that knew me, were praying for me interceding for me, both from my church, and also other pastors (16:28) One of the programs that we went through was a marriage compatibility profile where we did a series of assessments and it involved a lot of things her family history, my family history, our education, our birth order...and then it rated our compatibility, our strong points and then our potential growth areas (18:43) I could not reverse the breakup of the marriage but I could look for God to bring something good out of what was meant for destruction (26:21) Resources Scriptures: John 4:1-28, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11, Genesis 2:18 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes his own story of divorce and shares nuggets he learned along the way. Key Takeaways God hates divorce but he loves divorcees (2:41) When we don't deal with the hurts from our past they can destroy our future relationships/marriage (6:05) When we take all the blame we're saying the other person is the victim. This leaves the door open to unresolved issues (11:53) Taking all the blame isn't the same as forgiving the other person (12:42) A marriage or relationship can only truly be restored if the individual has repented and repentance is a choice (17:30) Top Quotes Initially, the effect that the infidelity had on me was I felt great shame, and a lot of guilt. I...put all of the blame on myself, that if I had been a better husband, if I had been more attentive, if I had devoted more time, she would not have made the choices that she made (11:16) God helped me to identify the areas that I needed to repent of and, with his help, make changes in...Then to recognize there was sin on her side also and that she needed to acknowledge that sin and that I needed to be able to extend God's forgiveness towards her (13:15) It's so important when you've been through the trauma of a divorce to to really spend time with the Lord, allowing him to heal your heart, allowing him to direct you on how to respond (19:51) Another thing that I felt like the Lord directed me in was to show mercy. Not not being there to support wrong decisions but not to be vengeful in any way. Not to do anything to try to make her pay a price for what had happened (21:21) I began to realize that my pain was connected with my feelings for her and that something had to change. And there came a point where I asked the Lord to take away those feelings of wanting to be with her...That prayer got answered (22:31) The word divorce is used in the Bible and I had one leader say to me, "that word is in the Bible because God Himself put it there and recognizes that a marriage can be broken to the point that it's irreconcilable" (29:17) God can heal a marriage from infidelity, but do not ever underestimate the power of infidelity to end your marriage permanently (29:53) Resources Scripture: Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 14:25 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis (a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church) shares how she handled her relationship once she became a Christian since he was not yet one. She also gives us some advice on how to find Love After Divorce. Key Takeaways You have to determine his readiness for a relationship/marriage even as we have to assess our own (3:50) Be honest about the kind of relationship you're in. Don't lie or hide (7:51) We have to be careful that we don't become legalistic and make the man uncomfortable because we're now Christians and he is not (10:35) Your objective is not to 'turn' him into a Christian but to let him see Jesus in you and want to have what you have as in 1 Peter 3:1-6 (12:05) When you take a vote on marriage as a Christian it ought to mean something serious (15:37) Top Quotes It is so important for family backgrounds to be, you don't have to be the same, but there should be some similarities. And that's what made it good for us and probably easy. And when you don't have that it's harder (4:58) When we become Christians it doesn't mean that we now have to put a noose around anybody's neck or a block on anybody's head...or anything like that (10:35) I've heard so many men say...when a woman becomes a Christian, it's almost like she forgets that we had a friendship. She forgets that we're trying to do this together (10:59) You have to let them (the man who is not a Christian) make their own decision. Encourage them. Because we'll get up and he will decide to go to church this Sunday...and then another Sunday I ask you're not going to church this morning? he says no. I just leave him (11:31) What you need to do is live in your life, so that they will see that this Christian thing and say she's happy I want be happy too (11:55) Making a promise not only to your husband but more to God that you're gonna do these things. And because of that for me I do everything to ensure that I don't break that covenant because you have this reverence and fear of God (14:50) You must be aware that you're not perfect and the other person is not perfect either and you will make mistakes. You must be willing to apologize. You must be willing to step backwards and...you have to own up to your mistakes (17:15) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis, a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church, shares about her first marriage which was abusive. She also tells me how she met her second husband..her true happily ever after. Listen to the full episode to enjoy her story. Then come back tomorrow for Part 2. Key Takeaways When it's time to leave a relationship, esp one that's abusive, you're going to need to be brave. Otherwise you may never leave (4:21) Don't take on all the blame of the failed relationship (5:19) It's not okay to subject children to the toxicity and abuse, even if they aren't being abused (6:21) Don't let your failed relationship cause you to harden your heart towards remarrying. You could ruin the chance of finding real love (13:24) The man that pursues you should make you feel safe, secure and cared for (17:30) You have to be willing to evaluate where you went wrong in the relationship and how you contributed to it breaking down (22:26) Top Quotes It doesn't matter what happened between you and the children's father, accommodate him in their lives (8:03) My time was consumed with making them (my children) comfortable, and making their lives, you know, as easy as possible (12:14) The first signs you want to look for are those things that caused the first marriage to break down (20:54) You have to do some introspection, analyze yourself and see what did you contribute to the first failure because it takes two persons to make it fail (22:26) That is where a lot of us may fall down. We don't see, even when the other person is super wrong, how we contributed (22:40) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary In this episode, Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer shares his final thoughts on the topic 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce'. If you missed his previous episodes, check out episode #47 and #52 to catch up! Key Takeaways A man must celebrate and break out in song when he finds a wife (3:23) Ensure you have a list of characteristics that you are looking forward to in a spouse (4:15) In making your decision, you make sure that you get an all clear on the non-negotiable e.g. he must be a man of God (5:22) Get behind the mask of the person to see who he really is (6:34) Top Quotes Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision that you make. That's why you say till death do us part in a marital relationship, because you have taken a decision (4:29) Go into the relationship knowing what the issues are. There will always be issues and you know what they are so you say this is how we're going to resolve the issues that we have (5:40) When you are speaking and you are communicating and are vulnerable to each other, it helps you to grow. It builds intimacy...It helps in terms of sex (8:42) So that means your relationship with God must determine where you go and what to do (11:03) When we know the voice of God and we are willing to hear what He has to say, you know, He will guide us. He will direct our path. And so he knowing the future...that bigger picture, He can see...even if our husbands have cheated on us, whether or not it will work out for the better (13:59) Resources Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, Ephesians 5:21-31, 1 Peter 3:1-6, Mark 10:2-5, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Luke 12:7 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this interview with Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer, he continues to discuss red flags, what leads to misunderstandings and some of the Biblical principles we need to apply for better decision making and for the relationship. Key Takeaways You have to understand each other because you are different. You have to accept those differences and work with it (2:50) It is important in the relationship you both understand who God, you each have a relationship with Him and he becomes the final arbiter (judge, the person with the final say) when you have challenges (4:48) A healthy and happy relationship has agreement and partners that are equally yoked (7:30) Love is a flexible thing. Love is adaptable (15:09) When there is an unmet expectation, something has died and that will cause the person to grieve (maybe even become negative in the relationship) (19:49) Christ should become the foundation on which we stand when dealing with situations (24:44) Top Quotes One of the things that leads to break up, leads to misunderstanding...is that they do not understand the primary and the secondary love language of their partner (3:16) And if you don't have shared values, like what you think about God, and what you think about family, what do you think about friends, those are red flags that you say to couples hold on (8:19) So each one of us have an emotional love tank. Emotional love tank is like you have a bank account you had debit or credit. You speak to the individual in their own love language. So (that way) you're topping it up, filling it up to overflow (11:42) He becomes a project which is a wrong attitude to have. If I (as a man) feel that I'm a project to you, I am going to be offended. I'm going to become resentful (15:43) It's just that people become hard towards each other. They become offended, they become unforgiving, and you know that unforgiveness and bitterness harden your heart. That is why he encourages us that we must keep clean accounts, we must communicate (18:58) To the single women, make sure that you're whole. Getting married is not a when I get married I will fix up myself. Fix up yourself (now). Enjoy yourself in the Lord. Become the best that you can be. So when you get married it is two whole persons (coming together) (26:52) Resources The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Scripture: Ephesians 5:21, Amos 3:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Mark 10:2-5, Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 18:22, 1 Peter 3:1-6 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us how she recovered from her divorce and the lessons she's learned. I love when she says she's grateful for the experience because it made her who she is now. It's my philosophy too and I think we all need to learn from it. Key Takeaways Having a support system that you can share with and who will give you godly counsel necessary for healing. Don't isolate yourself (3:39) Some persons may shy away from helping you until you separate from your spouse (6:03) God marries purpose and if their purpose is not in line with yours don't waste your time because it will derail for months or years (11:29) So often we do not take the time to get to know if the man is a good man. And so we can't make a right decision regarding him (17:41) What we need to know when choosing a partner is whether God says this is the one and whether God says this person is ready because timing is also important (19:40) Top Quotes God has really cushioned the blows that I should be feeling. And so every step of the way, as soon as I start to really struggle, God just send some answers that's an help (5:23) My takeaways from this marriage is guard your freedom guard what you have in Christ (11:13) Relationships require vulnerability but it just can't work one way (12:44) When somebody is in your life sucking the blood out of you...you have to get higher. Just get higher in God. don't stop because there comes a point where that crow has to fall off your back (15:06) It's interesting how we don't take the time to get to know people. We don't know how they really are, who they really are. Oftentimes, we watch them based on their actions (17:02) I really thank him for where I am today....for whatever I've learned and the wisdom that I've gained because without going through this, I wouldn't know what I am made up of. And I wouldn't have learned so much. The Scriptures wouldn't have come alive to me (22:36) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us about her failed marriage to a licensed minister of religion. She speaks of his infidelity and abuse and how she became a substitute mother to the children he had out of wedlock. Key Takeaways Take note when others caution you about someone you are dating. Don't push it under the rug. Pray about it, ask others, speak to him (2:39) Make your decision based on the character before you not based on your hope that he will change (3:31) Sometimes breaking free from a relationship requires spiritual deliverance because we aren't strong enough to do it on our own (7:24) Some men will use the blame game as part of their arsenal when they are cheating/abusing you (10:01) A bad relationship/marriage can cause you to be cursed by sickness and disease (11:06) Unfortunately, there are men who are ordained by the Church and who flow in the spiritual gifts, who cheat on and abuse women (19:38) Top Quotes Everything that I saw before the marriage, it just became blown up in the marriage. The cheating became blown up, it was bigger than before, you know, it produced outside children (3:41) There was also financial abuse where he was taking the money that I was earning to take care of his outside interest and child (4:31) I went through that (caring for his child as my own). I went through the isolation, I went through feeling ashamed (10:49) So I had to recognize that...you pity the man that is hurting and abusing you. You need to pity the woman that is being abused...you need to feel sorry for yourself (12:53) I see him ministering at a higher level that I didn't reach in areas of ministry and flowing into gifts. And I would say, the young man is consecrated. He's not doing this because nobody can be doing all this and not be consecrated (19:38) This is a curse, you're under a curse. You have covenanted in marriage with someone who is under the curse of poverty, and lack. And so you have come under that curse with him. This is why this is happening to you (27:00) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary In this episode I'm responding to questions posed by two of my listeners and sharing something that happened with me recently. Listen to the full episode for practical tips and solutions that can help you to deal with sexual urges and get that horniness under control. Key Takeaways Initially, it may be very hard to get your sexual urges under control. You will have to be consistent in applying a Godly strategy to do so (3:08) Your strategy must involve open and honest conversation with God...one void of pretense (4:12) You have to be willing to run like Joseph ran from Potiphar's wife (6:50) When we come before God we need to be like David who poured out his heart in a real, open and vulnerable way (9:53) It (the Word of God) is alive. It will start to give life to any areas in our hearts, our body, our minds, any areas that are dead, and dead meaning still in its fleshly state (13:45) Masturbation must be used as a stimulant for the husband and wife not to satisfy fleshly desires (21:06) Top Quotes When we keep stuff in the dark, the enemy uses that against us (7:44) We miss the opportunity to be frank with our Father, our King and Lord. He wants us to have such a deep relationship with Him that it allows Him to free us completely because we're not hiding anything (8:51) When you don't have something that is healthy, constructive, Kingdom-focused doing with yourself, you know, doing to preoccupy your mind ...the devil will find a work for you to do (11:00) Flirting is okay inside of marriage, masturbation inside of marriage, but you also have to be careful because it can become something that you must have and it becomes an idol (21:06) When you are in a relationship and it's a God thing, it ought to have the principles of God, the ways of God all wrapped up in it (31:54) You're not to be tied by the soul, which is the flesh, but by the Spirit, which is God (33:15) Resources Balanced Deliverance Scriptures: Colossians 3:12-14, Jeremiah 1:10, Genesis 39, Psalms, Proverbs 16:27, Hebrews 4:12, 1 Corinthians 7:5 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap and share my thoughts on Part1 of this 2 part episode on 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce'' which we did in the Chat Room and on Ask the Expert this week. In this All Wrapped Up episode I share my thoughts on the importance of allowing ourselves to recover within a reasonable time and learning from our pain. Key Takeaways Breakup, separation and divorce take place because there is a break down in the relationship which can lead to discomfort, toxicity, abuse and so on(2:23) There is purpose in our pain. We need to figure out the lessons and make the most of the opportunities (8:13) We have to be careful to not stay too long in our place of pain because the longer we stay is the longer it hurts (9:44) God has given us a system and this is where we will see abundance. The problem is we don't work the system (13:08) Conversations of expectations and roles must be had (17:58) Top Quotes Things that are in the dark, if we do not bring them into the light, meaning if we feel shame and guilt, and we don't push to share with others, persons who are Godly counsel, that's going to be a downward spiral for us (5:26) I saw almost the gift in my pain...You've given this to me, because you say you turn around all things for the good of those who love you. Let me run with it and not stay bogged down in my pain and frustration and so on (8:53) After going through a grieving process, we ought to come to a place where we start to fall back on who we truly are, as women of God, you know (12:30) What's inside of me is far greater than my circumstances, weaknesses and fears, far greater than my failures and disappointments...what is inside of me, the Holy Spirit (13:28) When we know who we are, and we we are really truly dependent on God as our source, we know that he will never leave us nor forsake us (14:40) It brought me to the realization that I didn't love him. And then it brought me to a place where I started to wonder, do I even love myself? Does he love himself? (21:46) Let's not stay in the place of trauma and shame and guilt and hurt. Let's see the opportunity in what we have experienced, not minimizing our pain, but using it for our benefits (27:13) Resources Relationship Quality Questionnaire Real Love Character Test Scriptures: Romans 8:28, Deuteronomy 28:13, Deuteronomy 31:6. Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episodes Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer shares some of the red flags he's observed over the years as a marriage counselor working with couples during premarital and marital counseling. Key Takeaways Premarital counseling, if it is done properly, will highlight the issues and will give you a chance as the persons being counseled to see what the issues are and then to make good decisions (5:52) The final arbitrator should be the Word of God, and that is God speaking into your relationship (8:34) Vulnerability is very important for a successful relationship and marriage (14:36) We must celebrate our partners because that person is a gift from God, even with their weaknesses (25:45) Men are responsible for what happens in a relationship. His primary role is as priest, prophet, protector and provider (28:06) Top Quotes I think we take it lightly, we believe that love will solve all of our problems (4:32) There are some things that are non negotiable. I cannot, even if I love the Lord very much (7:59) People have expectations of the other person and they are not saying it and they will go along. But the other person does not know that is what you are thinking (10:13) Can I be vulnerable with that individual...the good and the bad. Can they accept me because if they can only accept the good, you know, you have a problem (14:36) When we filter out the expectations and the fantasies that are not realistic, or not even good for us, once we're left with the things that are positive...if that person doesn't match up then we have to think again about who we're choosing (21:00) God has given this person to you with their strengths and weaknesses. But if you spend time in terms of celebrating the other person, you do not take them for granted (25:19) Resources Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God's Purpose With Your Pleasure The Man God Has For You Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 13, Genesis 1, Genesis 2 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode in The Chat Room, divorcees Carole and Shellie-Ann conclude the discussion on Breakups, Separation & Divorce, sharing how they recovered and the lessons they've learned along the way. Key Takeaways Having core friends that you can freely share with and doing counseling are key ways to heal from trauma, breakup, separation and divorce (3:14) Surrounding yourself with the love and comfort of family members will help in the healing process (4:38) Self-care is critical as well e.g. changing a hairstyle, taking a vacation, going to the spa and so on(5:38) Forgiving yourself and your partner releases you from bondage (12:16) You can submit to the point of losing yourself (16:49) Top Quotes It (counseling) was like, you know when you get that prescription that just helps you, you see the symptoms start clearing up and then you'll understand why this happened (4:01) You gotta go back to that heavy dosage of love to help you repair your soul, your spirit (5:22) I think the question is, is there life after separation? Is there life after divorce? And the resounding answer is yes (9:29) I was serving at church more and I would just every time an opportunity comes up, I would be just throwing myself into that (9:56) Have I considered remarriage? Yes, certainly. But I am preparing myself in a way that I should not make the same mistakes that I've made before. And the person that I am today will be an asset to the person who I'm going to be joining (11:28) I say to persons as someone who's been there done that, let's have some quarrels...Let's put it out there the things that hurt me (15:10) You want to know that you gave it your best shot. You prayed it through to the point where God says, no, this person is no longer trying the heart, the heart is hard...it's not a flippant decision to get up and get divorced (22:19) Resources Single, Married, Separated and Life After Divorce From I Do to I Don't: Overcoming the Wounds of a Bad Relationship Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, divorcees Carole and Shellie-Ann share their experiences before and during marriage and explain what led to the separation and later divorce. The stories are raw and heartfelt and filled with nuggets we can learn from. Key Takeaways The shame and hurt of breakups, separation and divorce usually cause us to believe that people are criticizing and chastising us. So we end up pulling away from people when what they really want to do is love us through it (8:19) Breakups, separation and divorce will cause us to self-blame and negative self-talk usually causes us to curse ourselves so we have to be careful of that (11:15) The healing process may require that we let go of shared assets, forgive the person, apologize (16:58) We may find ourselves in a tail spin because separation and divorce may result in a lack of security and stability e.g. we no longer have dual income to support our bills (26:46) We don't make enough of an effort to find ourselves/our identity. So that in our lowest moments we can say I know who I am regardless (33:22) Top Quotes Even though you love the person you'll come to the point where you have to say you have to do what is best for you at that particular point in time...And I literally had to run for safety (2:54) I'm a Christian. I don't want to get divorced. What are people going to say, you know, that kind of thing (5:06) After a while, you understand that people are with you. People are for you in this devastating time and people want to give you the support, but we ourselves block people from speaking because we are not yet ready (6:54) There may be a one or two persons criticizing or looking and scuffing what persons are usually cheering you on. And what you don't get the opportunity to enjoy the encouragement (8:19) I got to another stage where I came to the reality and the Lord revealed that, no remember that passage that says, He causes all things to work together for our good. So it means there are lessons in this for you to learn (13:55) There was a slot on here for status, and then ever had separated. I wasn't yet divorced. And so I said to the lady, I don't have a status (30:16) I wonder how much I was new. We no longer have a status. We no longer live or belong anywhere? (33:49) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, I continue the discussion with Pastor Courtney Morrison who concludes the topic, 'Who is a Mature Man?'. He dives deeper and gives us practical tips for better relationship decision making. Key Takeaways Some men who are submitted to God are wounded and may not yet be mature enough or ready for marriage (5:41) Men lack accountability; sage men who will help mentor them and help them to mature from an early stage (9:04) Don't unfairly judge a man based on the stage that he's at. Acknowledge that he's unable to give you what you need (10:31) A mature man won't immediately think of cheating. He's likely to find some constructive way to deal with his urges instead (17:31) Research suggests that women don't support men and don't create a safe space for their male partners to operate in (20:52) Top Quotes Even those of us men sometimes who are submitted to God, have anger issues, father issues, childhood issues, lack of success issues, again, contributing towards us being wounded (5:41) Our men who don't get pass the gibbor stage end up in prisons because of their warrior spirit. Our phallic men if they don't pass that end up in prison because of rape. abusing minors...women (9:40) You have to as women be able to identify also the stage (of the maturity of a man) and know whether or not it's being directed in a good direction (11:17) Recognizing that he's loving this woman as his own body was able to treat her as his own body (14:49) Men will stay at the domino table till 2am in the morning, because they don't they can win the argument. They don't feel that they are in a safe place to talk freely (22:15) Allowing him to open up and talk without feeling as if he is being judged or he's being forced to do so....allowing him to make calls on situations that even if he's wrong...he's not torn to bits (23:56) Resources The Masculine Journey Taming of the Shrew Kingdom Man: Every Man's Destiny, Every Woman's Dream Scriptures: Malachi 4:6 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of the Chat Room, Man Talk and Ask the Expert episodes on the topic, 'Highs & Lows Of Marriage' (Part 2). She discusses what stood out to her and adds some of my own thoughts. Key Takeaways If we want to get things right in marriage we need to start now to practice what to do and how to react (1:59) Men want to feel regarded and honored in the way Sarah honored Abraham and called her Lord (5:59) Readiness for marriage is about being ready for life period (9:39) Marriage requires a shared vision which also means being willing to give up our own desires and understanding for the greater good (11:45) We have a personal responsibility to focus on being better persons and applying the principles of the Word versus focusing on our partner's flaws (14:34) Top Quotes You cannot defeat a thing if you don't practice what is necessary to defeat it (2:24) Let him be the man. Don't usurp his authority. Don't be too independent that he doesn't see the relationship, communication and interdependence....allow the man to see the woman in you, the wife in you (3:44) Be careful not to be condescending. Be careful not to take away the support that our spouse is expecting from us. Be careful not to dishonor him, because he will thrive when he's honored, respected and loved (5:38) God is depending on us to have the right attitude and behavior so that the man...will see God, he will see Jesus in us by the way we behave (7:26) Foundation includes a willingness to see the bigger picture, and making our decisions based on that bigger picture (10:29) We can't end up in a marriage with a man unless we choose to (13:55) This thing about personal responsibility isn't just about relationships. It's about life, full stop (15:41) Resources Relationship Quality Questionnaire Real Love Character Test The ABC's of Choosing A Good Husband Scriptures: Genesis 3:8, Romans 18, 1 Samuel 24:1-7, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our experts about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Karl and Maureen Downer continue their discussion and explain how they've been able to achieve more highs than lows in their marriage of 30 years. They emphasize the importance of a godly foundation, a willingness to make sacrifices for the good of the marriage and spending time meditating on the Word together. Key Takeaways The extent to which a marriage is successful will depend on the strength of the foundation of the marriage (1:58) A marriage will prosper when the husband and wife have a common vision (3:07) We must be willing to make sacrifices for our marriage and the vision of our marriage (6:11) Time spent together in the Word brings excitement to the relationship and brings us closer to God and each other (13:04) Top Quotes If the foundation is right then we can start building. If the foundation is not right, don't start building. Forget it. Move right along because something's gonna come along and it's gonna crumble (2:44) If our vision is towards the same end, it makes for a great relationship (3:17) If your marriage is outside of Christ, it's based on feelings. If your marriage is in Chris it is based on a commitment (7:28) I can't give you my heart until you're truly in love with Christ (8:31) Marriage is meant to be wonderful (18:18) You choose to love and you choose to ensure that Christ is the foundation and that is what is going to cause it to last (19:22) Resources The Five Love Languages The Four Laws of Love Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God's Purpose With Your Pleasure The Man God Has For You Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we're tuning into Man Talk, the segment that unlocks the male perspective on the topic of the week. The conversations are really enlightening but more importantly it will help us all understand the male psyche and how to navigate it for our relationships and marriage. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Andre (Music Minister) and Ron-Cey (Pastor) continue the discussion on the 'Highs & Lows of Marriage'. They are open and honest. They share practical tips, and in the end Pastor Ron-Cey leaves us with a heartwarming word of encouragement. Key Takeaways Preparing for marriage requires testing - asking hard questions, premarital counseling and so on (1:03) Responding to and engaging your husband in the right way will come with practice. Start to practice now with male friends and people in general (5:15) Some of the admirable attributes of a woman are strength backed by meekness and gracefulness (8:13) Marriage is about two elements fusing together to become one. So there is going to be pain. There is going to be friction and struggles (13:22) The lows a lot of times comes because we don't take the opportunity to appreciate some of the quirkiness and the differences in our partner (19:39) Don't underestimate the power of prayer in creating a shift in your marriage and marital circumstances (32:40) Top Quotes The test or a series of tests is not equivalent to a confirmation to say that this is not of God (1:57) God can put people in your Life strategically, to prepare you to help prepare you, for your husband (4:56) You have the opportunity to see blind spots in yourself from the feedback of your family members, coworkers and your friends (9:10) Marriage, if you open yourself up to it, it truly has a tendency to put a walking mirror in front of you. It shows you who you are (11:22) Begin to you train yourself to appreciate, 'well you know that this isn't me but I value that this is you, it's different okay' (20:10) I was in a funk because I felt like she put down my differences. I felt like she didn't value it (21:39) Marriage is a team sport. And people always say there's no I in team, it's all about what is best for the team (31:20) Inside of you, God has deposited the ingredients to be a successful woman period. And out of the identity of Christ formed in your womanhood will flow, the faithful wife, the successful wife (35:10) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary I'm very excited about today's episode because a listener emailed and said "I have been dating someone for 2 years but I'm not sure he's mature enough'. So we decided to air the episode with Pastor Courtney Morrison who discusses the topic, 'Who is a Mature Man?'. He tells us about the six stages of maturity that men go through and gives us advice on the stage at which a man is ready for a relationship/marriage. This is Part 1 of a 2 part episode. Key Takeaways If you have a man that is not submitted to God you may be a bit out of order and life might just be that way for you and that's not what you want (3:48) The first stage of maturity for men is the Adam stage. This man is not yet ready for a relationship (9:28) At the second stage, the Zakar (Phallic) man, sex becomes his main focus (11:50) The third stage is Gibbor where the man is full of pride, is competitive and can become violent, maybe even abusive (14:00) The fourth stage is the Enosh stage where the man is heavily wounded (15:40) The fifth stage is the Ish stage. This is the mature man (25:33) The final stage of maturity is the Zaken stage. This man is a sage - a fulfilled man (35:44) Top Quotes The Bible is God's love letter to us, Let's fall in love with him. And then we understand even better (6:04) At this Adamic stage, there is a lot of self searching, they're still seeking of direction, you are not certain of most things (10:23) You'll find even men in their 50s who are at this stage (Zakar), married and looking for a young girl (13:51) He's not thinking oh I just want sex and I'm looking for a relationship. He's now looking competition. He's now in a place (Gibor) where he believes he has to prove himself (14:26) Enoch stage...he may have been wounded by his father, may not have had affirmations. He may not have heard what it means to love (16:20) This is the differentiated man (Ish). One who is his own man who knows who he really is, and what he's all about (25:53) When you are at the fulfilled man stage, you're enjoying life...recognize that I need to forgive some persons, I need to ask some persons to forgive me, I need to walk in the fullness of what God is teaching me (37:07) Resources The Masculine Journey Scriptures: Ephesians 5:22, John 11:35, Genesis 1:26-27, Genesis 5:2 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of what stood out for me from this week's discussions around the topic, 'Highs & Lows Of Marriage''and I add some of my own thoughts. I also discuss a critical point that Kara Peart, from this week's Chat Room segment, brings to light about us needing to allow God to process our relationship with the man we will marry, in His (God's) timing. Key Takeaways The man we decide to marry should be a best friend and the person we can do life with (1:33) The person we decide to do life with should have a vision for his life, a vision for us and our visions should be compatible. He should be mature and ready for marriage (6:49) A husband depends on his wife for support (backative) (11:12) Husbands need their wives to protect and defend them (12:52) Let's not make relationship-related decisions based on emotions and urges but based on the man's readiness and God's perspective and timing (32:52) Top Quotes Very often we get into relationships and the person isn't a best friend, isn't somebody that we're very comfortable with, that you know we can talk to about anything and be vulnerable with (1:51) We are close intimate lovers but not friends and I think that is to our detriment...because it means then that the kind of intimacy and vulnerability that is necessary for us to handle highs and navigate laws won't necessarily happen (2:39) He needs a backative...this woman is consistently praying for him, consistently affirming him, is willing to be a protector, is is willing to defend his honor, and so on (12:13) Some of the ways that we can protect him is ensuring that our parents and our friends don't see his vulnerabilities and his weaknesses in a way that dishonors him (12:52) The point of being under authority, you don't just do what you feel like doing because then that allows the enemy to come in...because now...you're going by flesh and emotions, and culture versus what God is saying (21:43) Giving him room to grow into this decision (to date, love and later marry us) based on his level of readiness and God's readiness versus, our demands, our flesh or emotions (32:52) Resources Relationship Quality Questionnaire Real Love Character Test The ABC's of Choosing A Good Husband Scriptures: Genesis 3:8, Romans 18, 1 Samuel 24:1-7, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our experts about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Karl and Maureen Downer tell us how they've been able to achieve more highs than lows in their marriage of 30 years. The big nugget from Karl is "a woman must find a man that loves her more than she loves him". Key Takeaways Marriage works when it is committed to God (3:21) It's important to look for a husband rather than a man or boyfriend (4:25) Seek godly counsel when deciding if this person is for you (11:05) We'll make mistakes but we have to ensure that the mistakes do not have a negative impact on our marriage (13:52) Husbands should love their wives more than wives love their husbands (17:37) The formula for marriage is giving. Give in order to sustain, maintain and flourish. Otherwise, your marriage will not work (31:40) Top Quotes Get into a relationship where you know...this is where God is leading us...we do things together that will glorify God and for His purpose (9:14) It might be comfortable to you, but for me it irritates me. So then, you know, it breaks our communication...just for that moment (15:32) Whatever you practice when you're not married, is the same thing you're going to do when you're married (20:01) If there's a situation rather than both parties saying I don't feel like it. I don't want to do that...Clearly one person has to decide that love most we know (29:07) In marriage, there's one who's always giving more than the other (30:18) Resources The Five Love Languages The Four Laws of Love Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God's Purpose With Your Pleasure The Man God Has For You Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we're tuning into Man Talk, the segment that unlocks the male perspective on the topic of the week. The conversations are really enlightening but more importantly it will help us all understand the male psyche and how to navigate it for our relationships and marriage. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Andre and Ron-Cey share their views on the topic, 'Highs & Lows of Marriage'. These happily married men share with me what for men are highs in their marriage and tells us what we need to do as single women to get there. Key Takeaways Preparing for marriage is really about dealing with individual issues and wounds from childhood (5:01) We need to receive teachings (about marriage etc.) before we go into marriage (7:05) The business of working on yourself is a journey and it is not easy and is never completed before marriage (11:45) For me, their wife's full support, prayer covering and friendship are very important (15:05) We must focus less on preferences and more on principles e.g. faithfulness, commitment to love, communication (17:00) To have a successful marriage we need to actively prepare ourselves (29:51) Top Quotes Better me, better we. The better I am, the more healed and whole I am, it's the better me that I bring to the table...it enables ease of partnership (5:13) When you become one with somebody else, the aim of that is for you to fulfill purpose together (7:13) I know I can come to my wife and share anything. She creates that atmosphere for me and and vice versa (13:40) When she prays for me no Goliath can trouble this. I feel like I can kill any giant (14:39) When I was younger...a lot of my preferences, my idiosyncrasies...was a principle for me. But it wasn't a principle for God (16:01) The moment you begin to make your preferences a principle, you can border on either manipulation...oppression...Principles are things that will bless both partners (16:30) The process is God's doing. What your responsibility is, is to yield to the process and allow God to confirm what you believe is in your heart (20:52) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Kara and Keisha share their views on the topic, 'Highs & Lows of Marriage'. Two happily married women who tell us how they navigate the challenges they experience in marriage along with some of the things that make marriage so special for them. Key Takeaways Our deep convictions to remain pure will help us to wait until we are married before we engage in intimacy (3:54) Transitioning from friendship to success in marriage requires maturity (4:37) We have to recognize that we're coming from different backgrounds and we have to manage that reality for the sake of our marriage (14:37) Mutual respect is critical for a successful marriage and for navigating disagreements (18:34) We have to give him the benefit of the doubt when he acts out of turn because we know his true character and what his heart is really like (21:44) Top Quotes And so it started off in our best friend journey (2:30) We talked about everything....we knew everything about each other......he had all these qualities that I would be crazy to not say yes (10:16) These things come up and then right then and there you are faced with a decision. Am I going to allow these things to make or break my marriage (14:01) I think perspective going in and and constantly asking yourself the tough questions and asking yourself if what the norm was for you growing up is actually the best thing for your new normal (15:59) I'm saying it's so good to know that you have someone that you can do life with (29:43) It's not just about the sex...It's about companionship. It's about looking at the way that you, your dreams and desires, and even the vision that you had for your life, prior to marriage where it begins to change and transform...in a new beautiful way (31:16) There is nothing like being so secure in your relationship and secure in his love...and he's so consistent in the things that he says and the things that he does (34:45) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. However, for today's episode my Producer picked the behind the scenes conversation with Dr. Brittanie Clacken. Episode Summary In today's episode Dr. Brittanie Clacken continues the conversation on Biological Dangers of Premarital Sex and shares her concern on how the Church handles discussions on premarital sex and same sex attraction. Key Takeaways God in His goodness towards us has put in place all we need for a successful marriage (4:16) The challenges related to premarital sex, bleed over into every aspect of our lives affecting our relationships, self esteem, self image and more (7:32) There are many issues surrounding sexual purity, and the church needs to have a more complete conversation about how people can fight to maintain purity (9:49) Unfortunately we place sins on different pedestals, resulting in some sins being unforgivable including homosexuality (12:24) The Church preaches heterosexual gospel when what God preaches is holiness (13:44) Top Quotes God in His goodness towards us, His love towards us, His intention to ensure that everything that He asks us to do, we can do it well...And we enjoy the spoils of it the best outcomes from it (1:28) If we do not correct some of the mistakes that we made prior to marriage, particularly with premarital sex, we will have challenges (5:15) But the mental implications physical, emotional, spiritual, it just bleeds over into everything (7:31) Sexual sin shouldn't be celebrated. It should be lovingly confronted, and dealt with appropriately, lovingly, and with with patience and grace (11:02) He's (God's) calling us to holiness, primarily and when we let that be our focus, it washes over our greed and our lying and...fill in the blank sin (15:40) Resources Blog: Sex Should Be Between One Man And One Woman Article: How Premarital Sex Rewires The Brain Article: Bonded In The Brain Article: Why Premarital Sex Is A Bad Idea Website: Jackie Hill Perry Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of what stood out for me from this week's discussions around the topic, 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English, 'Where Are The Real Men?' and I add some of my own thoughts. I also share a discussion I had with one of my listeners who asked a question related to the topic. Key Takeaways It's okay to have a prayer list of what we want in a man but what God wants should supersede our desires (2:54) It's not that the man should be perfect. It's that if there are some areas, he must be willing to say, you know, I have an issue here and I'm gonna deal with it (7:08) We need to be willing to offer him support where he falls short because this is what God has called us to be helpers to our partners (11:00) Let's get knowledge because without it we can be destroyed emotionally, socially, physically, and so on (11:53) As women we sometimes want the man to redeem us but Jesus wants to be the one to heal us (18:59) Top Quotes As women we can be strong sometimes, you know, and we don't necessarily recognize that we're causing the man to go back into his shell (4:08) We have a long list but is that at least lining up with who the man really ought to be? (9:24) Let us not curse ourselves because the fact that you went through hurt doesn't mean that God doesn't want to bless you with something beautiful and marriage is beautiful once it's committed onto God (14:05) If you are pained, you know, in need of healing, in need of deliverance, you may need to receive the healing and deliverance long before you go into marriage (16:13) God wants us to be healthy and whole, to trust him to take us through a process so that he can ready us for marriage (17:54) You stay in it, you wallow in it and then you look for a husband to be your Savior...you will be depending on him to be a savior and not God, not Jesus (19:49) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Pastor Courtney Morrison finishes up the discussion on 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh' or in English "Where Are the Real Men?'. He shares some more on what we should expect from men. He also stresses that women should do the Gideon test on their relationships, and explains what a surrendered heart is. Key Takeaways Women have the range of emotions men have (8:56) For a man to be a real man, He must reflect God's image and likeness (13:23) Real men do not molest or abuse women (14:32) A real man will lead you in prayer and warfare (18:10) A man can be a good man but not be your man (22:32) Do your Gideon test (24:42) Surrender all the areas of your life and check his unsurrendered areas (33:42) Top Quotes Don't think your marriage is not ordained because you're going through a difficult time (3:26) He must be willing to give his life for that woman. Stand for her, stand by her. Help to make her the best...she can be and wants to be (5;19) A man of God must recognize his shortcomings, his faults and not be afraid to confess them (20:19) Not because he lifts his hand in church, cries and profess God means he is the right person (22:32) Don't be afraid to be Gideon. For your husbands. Don't be afraid to be Gideons about your relationship when it comes on to men (24:42) God doesn't work inside of a box. God owns the box and so he does anything he wants (30:13) I'm trusting in myself, that what I think is always so right I become so stubborn that it becomes deep sin. It becomes iniquity. I become a god unto myself (34:56) Resources: Choosing God's Best The Man God Has For You Relationship Goals Scriptures: James 1:19, John 11:35, 1 Corinthians 13, Revelation 14 & 21, Hosea, 1 Samuel 15:22-23 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we're tuning into Man Talk, the segment that unlocks the male perspective on the topic of the week. The conversations are really enlightening but more importantly it will help us all understand the male psyche and how to navigate it for our relationships and marriage. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, I continue my discussion with Craig and Michael on the topic 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English 'Where Are The Real Men?'. They also share how women can help men to become the kind of men they ought to become; how women can be help meets, as described in Genesis 2:18. Key Takeaways Women have to be careful to not do things that will alienate their partners (7:04) People will argue in relationships but we each have to be willing to step back to examine why God brought us together (12:14) As a woman seeks to evaluate the maturity of her partner, she needs to consider who he is influenced by and who he seeks to please (22:44) A man who seeks to mentor young men will and who commits to leading by example will usually act rightly (23:51) Top Quotes If he is a good man he will lead you down the right path and when you must stand to the front and rise and shine he will allow you to do that (7:22) As man we must be the head but allow woman to step on their own to, you know, to find their own feet and to be able to establish themselves (10:57) One must be able to say no, we need to step back. We need to understand why God bring us together (12:34) Be there you know to give advice, to help in whatever way and I tell you it will make the man feel better (14:01) When God brings you together with someone He is not bringing a perfect person to you but He is seeking to perfect something in you (18:44) If his relationships with, with his peers are stronger than his relationship with God then there's a whole heap of vulnerability right there (21:39) If a man has a daughter and he has a good relationship with her...watch that relationship and you will see what that man is capable of (23:23) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Stephanie and Shadee share their views on the topic, 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English 'Where Are The Real Men?'. They continue the discussion on what we should expect from a partner, stressing the importance of character and of making God-based choices. This episode was so good that after saying goodbye and doing my wrap ups twice, we started a new conversation. Key Takeaways God looks at character and heart to see if He can trust the person to do according to His will, and that is so even if the person falls from time to time (5:54) Whilst character is the primary area of focus for God, money, possessions and the body are also important (7:18) The ability to be joyful in situations when they don't work in our favor, and having peace and being able to celebrate in the midst of adversities are important attributes of a suitor (10:13) Don't overlook men because they don't fit our preconceptions (11:34) In due season when He (God) sees fit, the real man will come along (12:18) Top Quotes It's about...I (the man) have a good heart, what I have for even my wife to be or my girlfriend is, I think towards her good. I want to, you know, bring that into her reality (3:21) God...will bring situations and circumstances as a test and as a trial to see how we would treat these tests or these situations. And that is part of the character building (4:42) Accept what God has for you work with what God has given unto you...don't overlook the man (11:39) The moment we recognize that this is not who God has in mind for us, we should be willing to switch (14:14) If the world has a perspective, and it is a dominant perspective, and we keep following it, then we might have to check ourselves because the world is usually contrary to God (18:37) What is to be accomplished from this marriage? What is this couple supposed to do? You know, Mary come together. Paul come together because it was ordained by God (24:20) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary Today's episode is Part 2 of an episode on Me-ology Theology with Pastor Tania Case. One of my listeners (who chose to remain anonymous) asked, "how do I move from being me-focused to marriage ready?". That is, from Me-ology Theology to Marriage-ology. She was eager to hear and suggested that we do part 2 of Me-ology Theology today. So here are Pastor Tania's tips on how to move from being too me-focused and me-centered as single women to becoming marriage material. Key Takeaways Find a healthy marriage that you respect and are encouraged by and honor it (1:45) Become a helper to others, a listening ear, serve others (3:05) Choosing to not communicate because you're angry kills marriages (5:20) Often times we find that we have a problem trusting God if we are very selfish because we aren't sure that He will take care of us (8:34) Let your guard down. Let yourself be loved and love others (9:47) Top Quotes Giving is contrary to selfishness and (you should) give of yourself in a way that you know you're challenged (3:32) We are so used to our ideology...but...if we allow these these walls rather, to start coming down...you'll start getting a check, I need to work on that right there (4:53) Start tasting your words. Start considering how they impact others and say no, I would not want that for myself, so I don't want it for you (6:37) You're the one with the power to release people to their destiny. And if you think just you, you will never experience having someone come back to you and say, You are the place where this started in my life (9:29) I am a student of my husband. I am a student of my friends. I study them, I get a picture. I keep a file a mental file on them. I know where you should be. I know what you're after (15:05) It is just the most wonderful thing that we could ever do for others is to love them and not love them for a moment (15:48) Resources Me-ology & Me-ology II Wife Material Relationship Quality Questionnaire Scriptures: Ephesians 4:26 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of what stood out for me from this week's discussions on 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English, 'Where Are The Real Men?' and I add some of my own thoughts in relation to some of the mistakes we make as women. I also give tips on how we can evaluate the quality of our intimate relationships. Key Takeaways A man who has no relationship with God usually doesn't understand His principles in order to be able to apply them the way he should where relationship and marriage is concerned (1:43) Humility is a key attribute of Jesus and it is therefore an attribute that men and women should exhibit consistently (4:23) When we allow fear, doubt and insecurities to overtake us, it means we are not allowing ourselves to be taught or to pursue God's perspective (8:09) He's being perfected by God too, so we need to give him room to make mistakes but we have to balance that with not making excuses for these men who aren't ready for life or relationships (13:44) Top Quotes The Bible says pride comes before a fall. It also goes on to say that rebellion is as of witchcraft. Rebellion is rooted in pride and arrogance (4:23) It's always so easy for us to say...I'm fearfully and wonderfully made...and blurt out all of these different things about who we are. And we give God thanks for who He is. But then when it's time now to assess a man against those standards, we don't do it (5:08) Humility is correlated with teachability. Somebody that is humble will as we say in Jamaica, 'tek talk'. Meaning, you know, you listen more than you speak, which is what the Word of God tells us to do (7:10) God has a purpose for us. And in that purpose is choosing wisely making God-based decisions, developing godly habits (16:29) Resources Girl It's Time To Stop Lying To Yourself Can't Call Myself A Disciple And Dear Insecurity Give Him Room To Make Mistakes Scriptures: Proverbs 16:18, 1 Samuel 15:23, James 1:19, Proverbs 18:13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Real Love Character Test Relationship Quality Questionnaire Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, Pastor Courtney Morrison speaks to me on the topic, 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh' or in English "Where Are the Real Men?'. Earlier this week we heard from women and men who shared their perspectives on what a real man is. Pastor Courtney now delves deeper to bring a rich spiritual and practical perspective, giving us 14 key characteristics that a man must embody. He also explains that a man must be a true reflector of God, that is, God as Father, God as Son, and God as husband. This is Part 1 of a 2 part episode. Key Takeaways Honesty is a critical characteristic in a real man (10:50) A man must exhibit God's personality, maturity, creativity and activity (16:01) A real man will self-evaluate against the standards that God has set for him (16:21) He must also be teachable because men aren't perfect but if he isn't teachable it means where he falls short he won't be willing to work on (19:07) If a man doesn't line up with some of the 14 key attributes that a real man ought to exhibit and he's unwilling to change, it can negate all the other good attributes he already has (25:29) A real man must reflect God; God as Father, God as Son, God as Husband (27:13) Top Quotes If you have a man that is less than honest, run, because all other attributes coming from this, makes me tell you that he is not genuine (10:52) He must be a gentleman who, if he has a family, if he cares about you, he should be looking out for your best interest (12:17) Man therefore, is he who reflects the image and the likeness of God (15:05) You must therefore try to identify if there are unsurrendered areas in the gentleman you are courting. And if you are seeing signs of these unsurrendered areas, red flag! Ask yourself, if he is one of those gentle, faithful, teachable men (19:10) Men need to recognize, therefore, that we need to do counseling. A good man reflecting the position of God being teachable, will also become submissive to counseling (23:16) The word El Shaddai (name of God) means multi-breasted God. So it is a part of the man's nature, if he's to attribute, to actually show nurturing attributes (God as Father) (28:02) God as son as Jesus Christ is now submitted to the dictates of His Father. So He declares this, "whatever I see my Father doing, those are the things I do" and "whatever I hear Him saying those are the things that I say" (28:39) The position of the man in loving his wife, even if she's unfaithful, even if she's unforgiving, even if she doesn't seem to care, he must not budge...so even as Christ loves the church, so must he love her and must be willing to give himself (30:23) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we're tuning into Man Talk, the segment that unlocks the male perspective on the topic of the week. The conversations are really enlightening but more importantly it will help us all understand the male psyche and how to navigate it for our relationships and marriage. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, I speak to Craig Graham and Michael Dixon on the topic 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English 'Where Are The Real Men?'. More specifically, they share on what a real man is and isn't, and in particular God's expectations of a man, generally and as a husband. Key Takeaways There is a lot of pressure placed on young men to to be polygamous (4:59) The enemy has deceived some women into believing that a real man cannot be a virgin and should have had or maybe still has multiple partners (7:47) Women should be wary of men who are habitual liars, cannot commit to anything, (11:39) A man's presence must be felt in how he contributes to the family and he must be concerned about injustice, take responsibility even in situations that are unrelated to him and care about others (10:39) Top Quotes As women you get caught up in the notion that just because our parents like him or he is able to do certain things, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's right, that he's treating us right, that he's doing right by us (16:17) So if everything they do is always about de man dem (their male friends) and they have to go where everybody else goes and they have to do the things that everybody else does, that's a clear sign that the peer influence is strong (16:55) The real man will always step up in situations and take charge (19:23) God wants men to be a reflection of him...patience, gentleness, humility (22:16) There's a lot of things that you know, especially when you decide to to walk with God and you allow Him to shape you, there's a lot of things that you definitely have to allow God to shift...especially your mindset (25:00) It's easier to do the wrong thing. it is easy to curse, easy to this and that but harder to really abstain from certain behavior (27:20) One thing that God had to work on me, is showing me the value of a woman, showing me how to be respectful, showing me how to treat a woman...So I had to be shaped for my wife in order to be able to flourish...in our relationship (30:02) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode in The Chat Room, Stephanie and Shadee share their views on the topic, 'Weh Di Real Man Dem Deh?' or in English 'Where Are The Real Men?'. They explain what their initial expectations of a real man were based on what they saw of the father figure in their lives growing up and later how that changed, to some extent, once they became Christians. Key Takeaways Whatever a father figure models, good or bad, usually determines what we (women) accept as normal from our partners (4:50) A non-Christian can be kind and treat a woman 'right' but He can't be Mr. Right if He doesn't have a relationship with God (11:06) Regardless of what a man is like, we must ask God if he is the one. Because he can be a good man but not our man (20:35) When God brings us together with someone, for whatever the reason, there is purpose in it (30:17) Top Quotes A real man is not a perfect man (6:41) The first embodiment of a man is usually the man that she (a woman) comes into contact with growing up (9:24) In order for me to to properly assess really and truly if this man or young man, you know is real, I first have to know if I am real and I have to understand and know where my grounding is in God (15:43) How does he treat his family members? How well does he relate to individuals in his community?...Is he able to properly assess his feelings? (20:02) God really has to be involved in that mix to be able to help me to identify and to discern...that this is the one (22:21) Once you have that approval and sanction by God everything else, I won't say it's gonna become easy, but things start to flow (29:01) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary Today's episode was suggested by Lisa, one of our listeners. Over the past few weeks our episodes have had a common thread. My guests and I have said repeatedly that our ability to live successfully in our singleness and to make wise decisions will depend heavily on our relationship with God. Lisa wanted to know how to build this relationship. specifically, she wanted to understand what it means to abide in Him as His Words abide in us (John 15:7). Golda and Doneilia help us to break down John 15:7. They explain the importance of character development in building a relationship with Jesus, and why it's important to spend time with Him every day, all day. Key Takeaways John 15:7 is about God becoming an integral part of our lives (2:46) As we abide in Him, we will learn to pray according to His will and He will respond because it is in line with what He wants (5:01) Abiding is not just about speaking in tongues, seeing people fall over, long prayers, although those are necessary sometimes. It's about intimacy and consistency. (10:51) We're not able to access the secret place because we have not decided to lay aside whatever is hindering us from going into the secret place (12:13) Before we get to Word, prayer, singing and so on, we need to deal with our character, our heart posture and get rid of the bad habits and behaviors (13:00) Religion has taught us that we need to pray for an extended period of time and in a particular way...we need to unlearn that (26:30) Top Quotes Everything pertaining to your life must happen in Christ, you're gonna stay in him, you're gonna eat, you're gonna sleep, you're going to do every single thing (3:07) You are never always in right standing with God. You are never always perfect and always holy (8:56) Because of that desire to always want to be, always want to be in His presence, it's almost like whatever I got yesterday is not good enough. Whatever I got last week is not good enough. I'm always for more (10:21) There is something that you have to do to get to that place where you're not standing (just) outside the outer court waving to Jesus (11:59) Inconsistency is going to build a gap. It's going to bring forth a gap between me and God. It's going to separate me from the intimacy (14:08) When you start doing these little snippets of prayer over and over communicating with God it pushes you to say this five minute thing with Jesus cannot work and it pushes you now to the point to say Jesus wake me up 3:00AM (22:44) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we have a special episode of Ask the Expert instead of our usual All Wrapped Up' episode. Ask the Expert segment hits all the hard places and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, Dr. Brittanie Clacken continues the discussion on the 'Biological Dangers of Premarital Sex' and gives us a long list of tips that we can use to help us break away from the habits formed once we engage in premarital sex, as well as habits to apply to not repeat the mistakes. Key Takeaways We expose ourselves to sexual images all the time and they play in our minds, even when we go to sleep (4:14) We should pray and ask God to help us to hate sin as much as He hates sin (5:20) If you struggle with sexual sin, get a woman who is more spiritually mature, one who has overcome sexual sin or who doesn't struggle with it, to be a mentor/ accountability partner (7:17) Know your triggers and figure out how to do things differently (14:44) Top Quotes It means being aware of what you put in. We say good in good out.What are you listening to? What are you watching? What books are you reading? (3:47) Commit to feeling godly shame not condemnation that you're dirty or bad, you're unloved but a godly shame that leads to repentance (4:36) You come across something just bounce your eyes. Don't look at it. Change the channel. Keep your head up. Good morning and keep walking (6:20) We use this acronym HALT. Am I hungry? Am I angry? Am I lonely? Am I tired? Try to address those things first before getting into whatever the temptation is (7:58) For those who have made mistakes as we all have. There is redemption. There is repentance. There is purpose in your pain (25:13) When you expose those dark places, that's when God can come in and bring renewal, bring refreshing, bring healing (27:51) Resources The Safest Sex Fight The New Drug, Qustodio https://www.joinfortify.com/ https://k9-web-protection.en.softonic.com/download Scripture references: 1 Corinthians 10:13, Luke 22:54-62, Matthew 27:1-10, Philippians 4:8 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, Dr. Brittanie Clacken explains that our brains are wired, through chemical reactions, to support sexual purity and monogamy. Once we go outside of that preordained construct we rewire the brain to attract and accept self-harm through an increased desire for premarital sex, multiple partners, pornography and adultery. Key Takeaways Sex is the two becoming one flesh (Gen 2:24), fused together at the deepest level (Hebrew ehad) (3:43) There are many spiritual, physical/biological, social, and emotional implications when we have premarital sex (5:16) Emotional bonding occurs by chemicals in the brain: dopamine (the thrill seeker), oxytocin (female bonding agent) and vasopressin (male bonding agent) (8:05) Dopamine addicts the couple to want to have sex with each other, even in toxic relationships (13:52) Sex with multiple partners rewires the brain so that the dopamine release occurs only when you have sex with different partners. This makes it hard to accept monogamy (15:48) Top Quotes Sexual purity is the attitude, action and choice of conducting oneself sexually in the way that pleases God (3:30) Sexual activity...is any intimate contact between two individuals that involves arousal, stimulation, and or a response by at least one of the two partners (6:12) It's chemical warfare going on. It's spiritual warfare, physical warfare...and a chemical thing that's going on that kind of keeps us sometimes in these negative cycles (12:23) So even though the activity in and of itself, you know, is hurting you your brain wants to get that dopamine rush (13:47) It (oxytocin) creates a desire to be near this person, and to place greater trust in this person....and then the more you expose yourself physically to the same person, the harder it will be to say no (18:12) Resources The Safest Sex Sex Should Be Between One Man And One Woman How Premarital Sex Rewires The Brain Why Premarital Sex Is A Bad Idea Scripture references: Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 4:23 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 2 of this 2 part episode in The Chat Room, Kerrica and Pricella share the steps they took to recover from the devastation they experienced having engaged in premarital sex including how long it took and in Kerrica's case why it took her all of 13 years to get over the hurt and trauma. They focus heavily on how much God loves and redeems and how He longs to help us recover from our past. Key Takeaways Knowledge brings healing. Things like knowing your purpose, how to choose a partner and how to truly forgive (1:48) Forgiveness is also critical to the healing process (2:53) Old hurts and shame will drive us to engage in premature sex (11:35) God will help you to turn your life around. There is complete redemption in Him (9:44) Top Quotes As we get ready for that one person that God has placed on the earth for us, we have to let go of all the bandages in order to receive the blessing that God has in store (8:18) God wants you to get over it because He is eager to give you blessings, eager, and He wants to love upon you. And He's gonna love upon you whether you want it or not. The question is are you going to receive it? (9:44) There was no going around it anymore. I just needed to face that these are the things I'm battling with and that is how I was able to get some relief (12:23) He (God) takes each piece away, piece by piece. So when you think that you are good He says come here daughter, you aren't done yet (14:58) There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The past can remain in the past. A new life awaits you. A life without guilt and shame and unforgiveness and pain and bitterness (19:44) We need to build. We need to get stronger and the only way we can go through that is only with God (23:19) Every time my mind goes back to where God has taken me from I am just overwhelmed with emotions (25:52) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode in The Chat Room, Kerrica and Pricella open up about the 'Dangers of Premarital Sex'. Kerrica was the Pastor's daughter who grew up in the church but craved validation and so engaged in early sex, later having children out of wedlock. Pricella was the girl who grew up with a church-going grandmother but then decided to pull away from God in order to 'do life' and enjoy the world. Key Takeaways Sin becomes easy when we have no-one to be accountable to (11:32) Reading soft porn opens up our appetite for sex (16:15) We need to acknowledge that we lack maturity and that this could be why our relationships don't work (17:37) Premarital sex will affect everyone around us, even though the responsibility is ours (28:08) No matter the mistakes or situations we find ourselves in, God can turn it around (Romans 8:28) (30:49) Top Quotes My already low self esteem and lack of confidence took a severe beating (4:24) In a sort of way you do it (sex) to feel better but then you do it and you feel worse (5:22) I was doing what the world was doing and not thinking I need to be accountable to God. That was far from my mind (15:04) We were young and taking on the world, taking on big people things and business (sex and relationships) (22:13) There is some amount of knowledge that we need to have if we're going to make right decisions about relationships (22:26) It takes years to hit that wall (around your heart) down as well as it takes God to to just smash it all away (23:40) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary Today's episode is Part 2 of a 2 part episode. In the first 15 minutes I speak with Kadia, Kavan and Damani about setting goals, choosing Mr. Right, and recognizing Mr. Wrong. However, the remainder of our discussion was our behind the scene chatter. Yes, we were actually done. I did my wrap and said my goodbyes when the conversation started all over again and got even sweeter. Key Takeaways A man won't change because of a woman but because he chooses to and because the Holy Spirit helps him to (2:43) When you repetitively find yourself in these situations (with men) you need to reevaluate your habits and patterns and make the necessary changes (10:11) The society treats men as though they are a prize to be had and while doing that they undermine the value of women (12:05) Christian women are more appealing to men because the mortality of non-Christian men and women is far gone (21:16) Top Quotes You have to just avoid the situations that that from the get go, from the jump, look shady (1:40) You have to be in relationship with the person who they are now, right, because the truth is their potential may never manifest...or it might take 10 years (2:23) You need to have a clear idea of what it is that you'd want from a dating type of relationship (3:44) God put in place safeguards to protect you...one such safeguard is do not be unequally yoked (5:01) Just understanding what God says. delving deep into His word, and applying the parameters that He gives will really act as a safeguard (9:00) To really protect our women, we need to train our men (10:38) Women have been so exposed to so many broken and damaged men or men with so many messed up values that when a good man is there...they are not attracted to that (24:00) Resources Reject the Counterfeit Problem is, You Chose the Wrong Man Checklist: 7 Questions to Help Decide If He's Mr. Right Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of what stood out for me from this week's episodes. I bring everything together from a Biblical perspective and answer some of the questions posed by a listener who wonders why she's still bound by the effects of the sexual relationships she had a decade ago. Key Takeaways A lot of persons are walking around with emotional scars and may not know it or know but have done nothing about it (1:12) Peer pressure can push us to sin/engage in premarital sex (2:00) Emotional wounds will cause us to seek validation from the wrong sources, including sexual partners (2:13) The emotional wounds are sometimes so deep that they entrap us and we end up wearing them as a badge (5:07) Our fears, insecurities and unhealthy relationships are a result of us not dealing with our emotional wounds (8:16) Premarital sex is usually the result of some root problem (11:46) Top Quotes If you are not being healed it means that...you have either gotten to the place where you are holding on to it and owning it and that's not what God wants for you (5:22) Once we start the sin a wound is created and it attracts other sins. It's like, you just can't help yourself, you know, it spirals and it multiplies (7:02) A soul prospers when it is healthy, when the wounds are healed, when the sin is dealt with, when the bad thoughts are dealt with, when we get under control (10:06) I think we need to start to look at our root causes, root causes What is it in our lives? And then we have to start to tackle them now and plug those holes and heal those wounds (14:50) Some of us get ill. We don't know we're ill, it's not affecting us. And then eventually, we see that we weren't fine (19:24) Resources It Wasn't Meant For You Sex Misused Or Abused Leads To Poor Spiritual Health Strengthen Your Soul From I Do to I Don't Scriptures: 3 John 1:2, Revelation 12:10 Worksheet: Self-Deliverance Activity Activity: Relationship Quality Questionnaire Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, Dr. Thomas Lickona takes us through the 5 remaining emotional dangers associated with sex outside of marriage. He also shares on how we can be restored. He also discusses the damaging impact of porn and how it diminishes one's sensitivity to values and attitudes. Key Takeaways When disappointment accompanies premarital sex, fear of commitment, loss of trust, depression and even suicide may follow (1:05) Friends with benefits gives the man the benefits but lacks the friendship and companionship women desire (4:09) Some people who have premarital sex are haunted by flashbacks when they get married (8:42) Engaging in premarital sex can result in cheating because we're not practicing to resist the urges (9:36) Cohabitation increases the likelihood of divorce (11:55) Porn will lessen people's sensitivity to values and attitudes (23:20) Top Quotes If you engage in premarital sex then you're not learning to resist temptation and you will experience temptation after marriage (9:46) We should save the ultimate intimacy for the ultimate commitment, we should join our bodies when we've joined our lives (14:01) People who have viewed porn were more likely to consider rape less of a crime, believe promiscuity is normal, were more accepting of sexual infidelity, valued marriage less and expressed less of a desire to have children (23:56) You can approach God directly at any point for forgiveness, and for the strength to practice chase living to find a new path (34:20) It (premarital sex) is stealing from your future spouse what really belongs to them (44:51) Resources How To Find Real Love The Real Deal About Pornography Character-Based Sexuality: Three Essential Assets Unprotected Integrity Restored https://fightthenewdrug.org/ https://www.overcomingcravings.com/ Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, Dr. Thomas Lickona takes us through the first 5 of the 10 emotional dangers of premarital sex. He also shares anecdotes and research findings which confirm that these emotional dangers can be quite detrimental. Dr. Lickona explains that sexual purity frees us from emotional anxieties. Key Takeaways Engaging in sexual purity and moral conduct will result in improved familial, peer and marital relationships and in improved grades/academics (9:01) Sex has consequences which may hit us immediately or after an extended period (12:25) The guilt of hooking up can stay with us for decades (16:31) Both men and women experience emotional hurts because of premature sex (19:21) Guilt may drive you to have an abortion (24:27) Pornography results from the loss of self control and is really treating people as if they're less than persons (34:35) Top Quotes Our entire person, our mind, our body, our feelings are involved (in sex). And that's why sexual intimacy has potentially powerful emotional consequences (7:26) We can make a new beginning. We can walk down a different path. We have the strength to do that we can call upon the grace of God (11:15) We really do need to have God as a partner in living a life of sexual integrity, a life of sexual self control (11:44) We have an emotional freedom from anxieties (worry about pregnancy and disease) if we are not engaging in behavior outside of the relationship of marriage (15:10) Your conscience can bother you a lot if you treat sex as a casual thing (21:47) If a guy is doing pornography there's a problem and you either want him to break off, get help and the stop the behavior or find yourself somebody else because it's a big danger signal in a relationship (34:06) Resources Article: 10 Emotional Dangers of Premature Sexual Involvement Article: The Real Deal About Pornography Article: The Intrinsic Meaning of Sex Book: Sex, Love and You: Making the Right Decision Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary Kamique and Shauna open up about the emotional challenges they endured having sex outside of marriage. For a long time, Kamique had sex for the fun of it. She admits though that there came a time when she became emotionally attached which made the breakups devastating. Shauna who was married but now has 4 boys with different men, admits she's still struggling. While Kamique has sought counselling and deliverance, Shauna is just coming to terms with the fact that she needs help. The stories are heart wrenching but there are huge lessons to be learned from these ladies. Key takeaways Women in search of genuine love may engage in premarital sex to fill the gap (3:07) Premarital sex doesn't guarantee that you'll find love (6:22) To cover up one sin, we may end up indulging in other sins (8:47) Peer pressure can drive our sexual habits (11:56) When we have emotional wounds or voids, we take pleasuring in pursuing sin (14:07) The trauma of premarital sex can last a decade or more sometimes (19:25) Self-control is about practice, doing a thing until you get it right (30:55) Top Quotes I hopped on the roller coaster having no idea that there are some sections that were higher than others and there were some moments when you feel as if you're gonna die (4:57) It's the enjoyment of the sex why they (men) were sticking around (6:29) A lot of my friends around me had already you know had their first sexual experience. So, you know, and they come to school and they talk about it. And, you know, I just felt like I am missing out (11:56) I didn't feel emotionally attached to every person that I had sex with (15:40) She (Christian counselor) literally said write down all the names of the sexual partners on a piece of paper. And she said, I want you to release every single baggage (17:05) There are days when the enemy will try to remind me of my past. There are days when he will say to me don't you realize that you're not good enough (19:42) If you struggle with something e.g. anxiety, you have to think about what triggers the anxiety, you know, and how are you going to deal with it? (27:31) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. Episode Summary In Part 1 of this 2 part episode. I speak with Kadia, Kavan and Damani who share on why men hunt church girls...the perceived benefits and advantages from the man's perspective and the red flags Christian women ought to look out for. Key Takeaways Church Girls are perceived as wife material (2:43) Some Church Girls can be more liberal than secular girls (3:58) Church Girls don't see or maybe even ignore the red flags and will even sometimes ignore the Holy Spirit (12:46) The Church needs to allow single women to freely share their challenges so they can receive the appropriate guidance (14:14) A man will put on a show (trick a woman) and wait years just to get what he wants (25:16) Top Quotes She's not as exposed to the things that are happening in the world so he can go in there and manipulate her more easily (3:11) A woman in a church should at least be aspiring to not be sexually active, not cheat, lie, some of things that they have experienced (6:16) Some of the church women grown in the church just don't know some of the signs that other women spot a mile away (8:09) The Bible says the heart is deceitful above all things. When it comes to matters of the heart it takes a special kind of self awareness (13:28) The idea of the kind of person we want to marry, we don't necessarily, well some women might not necessarily see that in their church circle (18:11) A lot of men in the church can have some of those, you know, undesirable traits that men outside the church have. So if they have it why not why not date somebody outside the church (23:10) Resources If you're trying to get over a bad relationship: From I Do to I Don't: Overcoming the Wounds of a Bad Relationship Checklist: 7 Questions to Help Decide If He's Mr. Right IG Blog Post: Reject the Counterfeit IG Blog Post: Problem is, You Chose the Wrong Man Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of the key takeaways on Dangers of Premarital Sex and bring everything together from a Biblical perspective. I also answer some of the questions posed by a listener who reached out in tears after listening to Taneisha and Monique's episode. Key Takeaways Our abuse of sex (i.e. premarital sex) gives the enemy the legal right and authority for him to torment us in that area and consistently plague us with the desire even when we do not want it (5:53) We have to denounce every attachment, break any marriages in the spiritual realm, if we are to begin to break away from sexual sin (9:21) We need deliverance and deliverance is getting rid of evil spirits from our lives (9:30) When we walk away we may struggle with how to walk in our new identity (17:08) You have to practice beforehand how you'll respond in difficult situations if you want to ensure you are prepared to deal with those situations (19:20) Top Quotes Sit before the Lord, meditate on his word, create the atmosphere for Him to speak to us, repent, of course and ask him to shut doors and cut relationships and ties with persons that we have had sex with (14:00) You can't defeat a thing, if you don't practice what's needed to defeat it (19:18) Practice to speak it (what God says about you) so that when somebody comes at you in a negative way you don't have to react negatively, because you have already practiced in your body, in your mind, will and emotions to react or respond the way Jesus would want you to (19:52) Invincibility is about going and having faith and not stopping...(keep going) based on what God has said, what He has promised, what He wants us to do, and be obedient (23:43) Resources IG Blog Post: Sex Misused or Abused Leads to Poor Spiritual Health Worksheet: Self-Deliverance Activity Video: How to Keep your Deliverance Scripture references: Mark 5:1-20, Acts 16: 16-24, Jeremiah 1: 10 For Deliverance Ministry Fellowship Tabernacle: 1 (876) 933-5822 Love and Faith Ministries: 1 (876) 929-3968 Worship & Faith Int'l Fellowship: WAFIF Trumpet Call Ministries Int'l: 1 (876) 971-1772 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, I continue the discussion with Pastor and Deliverance Minister Howard Tyson who tells us how to recognize that we're in a sinful covenant (chains) and how to break away from these covenants. Key Takeaways If we are using sex as God intended we won't need negative stimulants (e.g. porn) to enhance our pleasure (3:05) Sexual sin passes from generation to generation until you deal with it. It chains you (8:08) If you get sexual dreams, lust at someone's body even with a slight glance, even in a movie, masturbate, flirt etc. there is an open door to the enemy (9:24) Masturbation is sin because God didn't design us to have sex with ourselves (10:08) Your body is the temple and it is where you meet with God (15:41) Premarital sex will prevent you from maturing in God spiritually and will keep the lust and fornication door open to your soul (23:01) To deal with the open door: identify the pattern, repent, get deliverance (25:19) Top quotes How to identify the chains...you look for perversion, lust, a propensity towards sexual things. It might not be outright blatant but it is (can be) subtle (8:42) If you are in worship and your soul is being touched and transformed, your sexuality is going to be open (12:30) So if you are the tabernacle and any other foreign entity is coming into the tabernacle, it is going to disrupt the flow of worship between you and your God (15:52) It is a doorway for the enemy to kill your dream to kill your purpose to keep you stagnant to keep you in poverty, to keep you in depression, to keep you from marrying (23:25) Get spiritual help (deliverance) to break free (25:49) When I speak of perversion here now (it's) everything sexual that the enemy will flood your soul with (33:55) Resources: Blog: Covenant and Marriage Blog: Consequences of Sexual Immorality Blog: Dangers of Sexual Sin Video Series: Six Steps to Defeating Sexual Sin Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm speaking with our expert about this week's topic. It's practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level. Episode Summary In this episode of Ask the Expert, I speak with Pastor and Deliverance Minister Howard Tyson who provides some powerful revelations on how premarital sex harms our soul and gives the enemy the right to torment and abuse us spiritually, pulling on those desires and forcing us to sin continuously, which also affects us in others areas of our lives. The torment and abuse can only be broken with repentance and the breaking of soul ties. Key Takeaways What God desires when we become intimate sexually is that we become one, as He is with His son and with the Holy Spirit (2:23) When we have sex we are coming into covenant (3:55) Premarital sex destroys your soul (mind, will and emotions) (7:03) Premarital sex establishes a covenant with the enemy which then gives lust the right to influence us (17:35) We must break soul ties established in premarital sex (21:37) Premarital sex produces a haunted vagina because of the covenants that are established prior to marriage (28:57) Sex creates an imprint on the soul (37:33) Top Quotes When we do have sex outside of marriage...it's a matter of moving spirits from one side to the other (i.e. aligned with God versus aligned with the enemy) (2:39) When we participate in that activity (sex), it is not the feeling now that should be the driving factor. It is who we come in covenant with...an investment...for a lifetime (4:33) If something so good, so wonderful, makes you feel bad after. It tells you then you are not doing it for the right reason and you are not doing it within covenant (7:24) I strongly believe that some women are struggling with fibroids....and all those diseases of the womb because I believe sin has entered (8:38) I have to come to the place of repentance. I have to come to the place where I recognize that I now have to break the covenant with the enemy (17:23) He (God) is very, very, very, very, very, very angry when we open ourselves up to other spirits because he knows the defilement that will happen (22:26) Our obedience in the natural produces a greater spiritual effect (26:59) Resources Blog: Covenant and Marriage Blog: Basic introduction to Soul Ties Scripture references: Song of Solomon 2:7, 1 Corinthians 6:16-18, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, Proverbs 5:1-11 Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss. Episode Summary In this episode of The Chat Room, I speak with Monique and Taneisha and they're open and honest about their sexual lives prior to coming to Christ. Monique admits to living a homosexual life after being abused by a female family friend at the age of 8 while Taneisha talks about early pregnancy at age 15. The two describe the struggles and the challenges including the spiritual attacks they came under. These women of God are now free from all that and were happy to share the lessons learned since and while going through their deliverance. Key Takeaways Molestation and early sex opens up our appetite for sex (3:16) Sexual sin can lead to sexual immorality and perversion (4:07) Even after coming to Christ you may find it hard to break away and that brings its own guilt (5:11) When temptation comes there is always a way of escape (7:02) The Word of God is what will bring transformation and will help us to no longer have the appetite for sin (10:46) Some attractions are not real, they're simply soul ties (15:13) Some things require that we ask God for strategies in order to be set free (30:49) Top Quotes Sin is so destructive by nature it will cause you not to operate in your God given purpose (5:41) If we can't be truthful with God, then there's no way we're ever going to get delivered. There's no way we're ever going to get out of the situation (6:37) I didn't love the man, I lust the man (15:16) Until your desire for God becomes deeper than the desire for a man then and only then will God release him unto you (15:46) Something said to me in my Spirit, who do you love more? (21:00) Because the enemy is going to come with it again. When he comes with it again you don't have to fall prey to the enemy (25:14) There are things that we by ourselves cannot stop...cannot get out of, because of of how long we have been in it or because you are not so strong spiritually (30:24) I started to pray and I heard the Lord say write down the name of everybody I used to sleep with (34:32) Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer's Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest. However for today's episode my producer and I chose the topic. Episode Summary Today's episode is Part 2 of a 2 part episode. I speak with Al Miller, my Pastor, Spiritual Authority and Mentor. He continues the discussion on 'What It Really Means To Be Single', explaining that singleness is not about being in a relationship but about character, personality, attitude. He gives us tips on how to achieve our singleness. He explains that someone who is single is upright, balanced internally and demonstrates that their mind, will and emotions are consistent with their Spirit. Key Takeaways Singleness means being separate and distinguishable from someone else and being able to function separately (5:58) Singleness is not about being independent and not needing anyone (11:44) Singleness, after childhood, is the next period of your life that is the most important and significant (27:33) When choosing a mate, choose one that is single, alone and recognizes he needs support for the bigger vision (17:07) Determine what common goals you will have before coming together (19:53) Singleness is the most important time in life that must be maximized (28:43) To truly become single know your identity, draw close to God, deal with your flaws and wounds, and get a vision for your life (30:05) Top Quotes These are what you have to bring in balance to become single...a good attitude, have got character, integrity...and a personality that can relate and win some people (3:15) In a world of relational beings, we need each other to fulfill the common goal of life (13:34) You want to make sure that the man is single and alone but he no longer desires to be alone...because if he doesn't recognize that and you come alongside such a person, you are going to be abused (17:14) So that even when the two of us decide to come together, we are coming together for a purpose (22:05) You certainly need to discover yourself to really know who you are (30:06) You need a connection with your Creator (31:02) Resources Checklist: 7 Signs You May Be Stifling Your Singleness Worksheet: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself Worksheet: Figuring Out Your Purpose Blog post: Shift Your Focus Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of the key takeaways from the Me-ology Theology episodes and bring everything together from a Biblical perspective. Episode Summary I chose this topic after reading Pastor Tania Case's blog article on Me-ology Theology because I started to wonder, 'am I that girl?' I really had to evaluate myself on the fruit of the Spirit and how God defines love. I hope when you listen in, this episodes also gives you insight on what you can do differently. Key Takeaways Take time to examine your own habits, behaviors and attitudes (in general and in relationships) (7:54) God loves a cheerful giver which involves so much more than the giving of money (8:47) We need to understand and demonstrate love according to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (9:21) We need to see how much we match up against the fruit of the Spirit (10:05) We must be willing to let go of norms and our own understanding (11:34) Top Quotes It just got me think to think am I selfish?...Are there things that I need to work on particularly because...I want to remarry (1:55) We have to check ourselves, our habits because...if we are not more like Jesus, then we're not really walking this Christian walk the way we ought to (9:32) Self-preservation is not a fruit of the Spirit. If self-preservation were something that we were supposed to be pursuing, Jesus would not have gone on the cross (10:10) As Christians, we should wear t-shirts that say 'do God'. Not t-shirts that say 'I'm going to do me' (16:16) We want to be more like Jesus...that we're gonna come follow Him and then...extend love to others including wanting to see them transformed (17:43) Jesus wants you to follow (Him) regardless (of your hurts etc.), and as you do that He will take care of your wounds (18:48) Resources Worksheet: Am I Too Me-Focused (In General)? Worksheet: Am I Too Me-Focused (In Relationships)? Blog on giving beyond just money: Give & Give Some More Scripture references: Proverbs 3:5-6, Galatians 5:22-23, Philippians 1:29, John 14:15, Romans 12:2, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Seth's blog: The Paradox of Selfishness Article from Faithful Ninja Momma: How to Stop Selfishness Stay Connected Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.