IDK COLLECTIVE PODCAST

This week Mofe Demu, Josephine Asuming and Dorcas Asuming, explore the different work styles. Are you looking for the security of the 9-5, the flexibility of a freelancer or the freedom to create a business that generates income while you sleep. Please support this podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends.  Just copy this link https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat To connect and continue the discussion tag us on: INSTAGRAM-@idkcollectivepodcast

How do we actually build healthy families?  Make sure you rate, share and leave a comment wherever you listen to the podcast. To continue these conversations with friends just copy this link https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat. To connect and continue the discussion tag us #idkcollectivepodcast Do not forget to message us on Instagram:@idkcollectivepodcast Make sure you rate, share and leave a comment wherever you listen to the podcast. To continue these conversations with friends just copy this link https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat. To connect and continue the discussion tag us #idkcollectivepodcast Do not forget to message us on Instagram:@idkcollectivepodcast    

This episode Mofe, Dorcas and Josephine explore our choices in beverages and what it means to be a hospitable host.  Make sure you rate, share and leave a comment wherever you listen to the podcast.  To continue these conversations with friends just copy this link https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat. To connect and continue the discussion tag us #idkcollectivepodcast Do not forget to message us on Instagram:@idkcollectivepodcast

This week...   IDK is in the celebratory mood!

IDK Family, if there is one thing I DO KNOW is that the career journey is one that is not linear and is very twirly, with ups and downs.  Today, I have Nadia  with us, a Manager at PWC, who helps run PwC’s Diversity Mentoring Scheme and is a Co-Chair of PwC’s Multicultural Business Network. She, like the rest of us has encountered the hardships of the career ladder but with God has managed to arise the challenges. Please support this podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends.  Just copy this linkhttps://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat To connect and continue the discussion tag us on: INSTAGRAM-@idkcollectivepodcast TWITTER: Collectiveidk         

Intimacy... in to me you see...intimacy is essential for forming connections with others that are deep, lasting, and healthy. IDK FAMILY! Me and my friend @mo_demu come on today to break the different types of intimacy: Spiritual intimacy,Emotional intimacy,Intellectual intimacy ,Recreational/ Experiential intimacy ,Creative intimacy andPhysical Intimacy. Let me know what type of intimacy is paramount for your relationships to work? You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this linkhttps://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat: To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

IDK FAMILY !Have you ever felt you met your connect, just for them to disconnect in the most dishonourable way... Today Mica Montana and I discuss lessons she learnt from being ghosted. We expand upon her beautifully written blog: Things I ask myself in new relationships.    Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification.    You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends.   Just copy this linkhttps://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast and then paste into the group chat:   To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

IDK FAMILY, Vulnerability is strength they say... However it's becoming more challenging for me. This week I brought my friend Lesley to unpack the complexities of this courageous act.  Please download and share the podcast-https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast  To connect and continue the discussion INSTAGRAM @idkcollectivepodcast TWITTER@Collectiveidk

Intimacy... in to me you see...intimacy is essential for forming connections with others that are deep, lasting, and healthy. IDK FAMILY! Me and my friend Mofe come on today to break the different types of intimacy: Spiritual intimacy,Emotional intimacy,Intellectual intimacy ,Recreational/ Experiential intimacy ,Creative intimacy andPhysical Intimacy. Let me know what type of intimacy is paramount for your relationship. Instagram:idkcollectivepodcast Twitter:Collectiveidk You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast      

IDK FAMILY !Have you ever felt you met your connect, just for them to disconnect in the most dishonourable way... Today Mica Montana and I discuss lessons she learnt from being ghosted. We expand upon her beautifully written blog: Things I ask myself in new relationships.  Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification.  This one is for the GC, please share, review, engage with me at: INSTAGRAM: idkcollectivepodcast PODCAST: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast INSTAGRAM: Mica Montana  BLOG:https://linktr.ee/micamontana

MY MENTALLLLLS! Today I have Inci with me, an Assistant Psychologist to provide some useful tools we can all use to maintain our sanity in this Lockdown period, as the struggle is very very real. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast      

IDK FAMILY WE ARE BACK! I am beyond excited to kick start the ride with you all again. Today I have my friend Yolanda with us, who went on the National TV show Dinner Date to find the love of her life but God had other plans!

BONUS EPISODE, on the Enneagram with the amazing Funlola - Enneagrameverything, we discuss the expansive 9 personality typology and how it can be used as a tool for self awareness and self growth and for better understanding of the different lenses in which we use to see the world. Enneagram 1/Reformer Core Fear: Being incorrect,Corruptible, Inappropriate Core Desire: Integrity,Accuracy,Order,Virtuous  In Stress: Enneagram 1 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 4 and they become extremely moody and irrational  In Growth: Enneagram 1 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 7 and become more easy going, more spontaneous and joyful, less critical Traits: Traits:Self Controlled, Principled,Advocates for change and justice,rational, balanced, inner critic, have a strong sense of right and wrong    Enneagram 2/ Helper/ Caregiver Core Fear:Being unwanted or unloved by those around them, rejected, dispensable, needy  Core Desire: Being appreciated, loved and wanted  In Stress: Enneagram 2 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 8 and become aggressive, dominating or prideful  In Growth: Enneagram 2 take on Enneagram 4 and become self nurturing and emotionally aware  Traits: Empathetic, warm hearted, friendly, generous, self-sacrificing, people-pleasing but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed    Enneagram 3 /The Achiever/ Performer  Core Fear: Failure and worthlessness, subconscious belief that in order to be worthy they must succeed  Core Desire: Being successful, having a high status, being admired  In stress: Enneagram 3 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 9 and become disengaged and apathetic  In Growth: Enneagram 3 take on healthy traits of Enneagram 6 and become more cooperative and committed to others  Traits: Ambitious, seek validation, adaptive, image conscious, deceitful    Enneagram 4/ Individualist/Creative/ Romantics Core Fear: Lacking personal significance or having no identity, experiencing the mundane Core Desire: To find their authentic self and their significance, being unique In Stress: Enneagram 4 will take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 2 and will become overly clingy and over involved in people’s lives or drained from ‘rescuing’ others  In Growth: Enneagram 4 take on healthy traits of Enneagram 1, they become more principled, emotional equanimity and well organised  Traits: Emotional depth, expressive, creative, self awareness,self absorbed,dramatic,moody   Enneagram 5/The Investigative Thinker Core Fear: Being useless or incompetent, energy depletion, being thought as incapable  Core Desire: Feeling helpful and competent In Stress: Enneagram 5 will take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 7 and will become scattered and hyperactive  In Growth: Enneagram 5 take on healthy traits of Enneagram 8 and become more decisive and self confident  Traits: Independent, prioritise developing their own intellect, focused, secretive, isolate, innovative and inventive    Enneagram 6/Loyalist  Core Fear: Being without support and instability, lack of predictability, unfamiliar environment  Core Desire: To feel secure and safe, having guidance and support  In Stress: Enneagram 6 adopt unhealthy traits of Enneagram 3 and become competitive and arrogant  In Growth: Enneagram 6 adopt healthy traits of Enneagram 9 and become relaxed and more optimistic  Traits: Foresee problems/potential dangers, excellent troubleshooters, sceptical, pessimistic, responsible, loyal, anxious    Enneagram 7/Enthusiast/ The Adventurer Core Fear: Trapped in emotional pain, being deprived, boredom, FOMO Core Desire: To be satisfied and content, excitement and energetic stimulation, fun In Stress: Enneagram 7 adopt unhealthy traits of Enneagram 1 and become perfectionist and highly critical  In Growth: Enneagram 7 adopt healthy traits of Enneagram 5 and become more focused  Traits:Optimistic, spontaneous, playful, high-spirited, scattered, fun-loving, distractible, impulsive   Enneagram 8/The Challenger Core Fear: Being betrayed, harmed or controlled by others, being seen as weak Core Desire: To protect themselves and to be in control of their own life and destiny  In Stress: Enneagram 8 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 5 and seek extended isolation, shut down, apathetic, become secretive and fearful  In Growth: Enneagram 8 take on healthy traits of Enneagram 2 and become inclusive, open-hearted and caring  Traits: Protective, powerful (natural leaders), assertive, straight-talking, decisive, confrontational, struggle with vulnerability    Enneagram 9/The Peacemaker  Core Fear: Loss and separation from others  Core Desire: Inner stability ( peace of mind)  In Stress: Enneagram 9 take on unhealthy traits of Enneagram 6 and become anxious and worried In Growth: Enneagram 9 take on healthy traits of Enneagram 3 become more goal orientated, self developing and energetic Traits: Supportive, adaptable, open- minded, love comfort, conflicting avoiding, complacent, agreeable, mediators, ignore or numb themselves to their problems CONNECT: Instagram - Enneagrameverything You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

Wow, what a ride? This is the season finale and we are talking all things marriage with my mother! Thank you all so much IDK FAMILY

Today we bring the realist about the faith journey. Getting saved is one thing but walking out our faith journey is another. Ola who is the founder of the Faith Files Blog is with me today and we uncover how we are on a journey of building consistency with God.  Connect with Ola: Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/lionessola_/ Faith Files Blog- www.myfaithfiles.com/post/consistency-is-key-what-i-learnt-from-my-month-of-daily-devotionals You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

Today, I have Anne Bona a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach who shares her story of being raised by a malignant narcissistic mother, falling into a narcissistic abusive relationship and how she healed from the trauma. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance. Narcissists have a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.  Narcissistic abuse by a parent or partner can destroy ones sense of self and can erode confidence over time.  Narcissistic Personality Disorder symptoms are wide-ranging and can differ between individuals. Those with NPD will show five or more of the following symptoms: Believe that they are better than others. Require constant attention of others. Preoccupied with intelligence, success, power and ideal romance. Believe they are special and that only other special people/institutions will understand them. Believe they should be given preferential treatment. Lack of empathy and disregards feelings of others. Takes advantage of others to reach their own goals. Often envious of others and/or believes others are envious of them. Displays arrogant behaviours and attitudes Narcissistic abuse includes: -Emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual, sexual and verbal abuse (belittling, bullying, accusing, blaming, shaming, demanding, ordering, threatening, criticising, sarcasm, raging, opposing, undermining, interrupting, blocking, and name-calling).  -Manipulation -Emotional Blackmail -Gaslighting  -Competition  -Sabotage Tools for growth When you realise that you are engaging with a narcissist, it is important to set boundaries or sometimes go no contact. You have to focus on your healing journey and not that of the narcissist. Narcissistic abuse will cause you to distrust your perceptions of reality so you may need to embark on a journey of discovering who YOU are. Therapy, Therapy,Therapy. Remember that the healing journey is not linear. Resources: What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Connect with Anne Bona: Instagram Podcast  Butterflow-Ebook You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast      

I have the one and only Sharyn on the IDK Collective Podcast. Sharyn is a Gospel Artist and Songwriter, with work featured on Gospel Hydration and The Good Christian Music Blog. Her latest single is Sanyuka, she has several hits including By My Side, Dreams, Enough and many more, with over 10,000 monthly listeners on Spotify; her aim is to share the Gospel through music that is creative, experimental and immersive. We discuss her music journey and expand the discussion to include the journey of the process!  We all are exposed to successes but not necessarily the hardship, the sacrifices, the character building, the secret failures, the work and input into a given dream.  Connect with Sharyn: Instagram: Sharynofficial Linktree: Sharyn Booking Enquiries: contactsharynofficial@gmail.com You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast  

Marriage and Relationship Coach/ Therapist Kasey King is on the podcast this week and we discuss all things Attachment Theory,Relationships and Boundaries. Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1973). Attachment theory in psychology originates from work of John Bowlby (1958):  Studies proved that the the way you attach to your parents/caregivers in childhood is the way you attach to your romantic partners later in life. Your Attachment style is built on what you learned love is. Your attachment style can be altered by romantic experiences i.e grew up with a secure attachment but constantly being cheated on in adult relationships has led to the development of an anxious attachment style    Becoming self aware and knowing your attachment style can make you aware of default programming that results in self sabotaging behaviour. The 4 Attachment Styles: Secure The parents were attuned to the child, so their needs were met and trust was developed, which could be depended on. Individuals with a secure attachment style, are comfortable displaying interest and affection towards another person, however they are very comfortable being alone and independent. Secure types are less apt to obsess over a relationship gone sour and are much better than other types at handle rejection. Anxious (Insecure) The parents were inconsistently attuned to child. The child learned that love is unstable and untrustworthy. The child feels that they are not good enough and this can be as a result of: in childhood they were left home al ot, parents who worked a lot, single parent household (one parent was attuned the other was not); all of which created a strong sense of being alone. Individuals with an anxious attachment style typically want to move fast in a relationship; they need constant reassurance from their partners and they have a much harder time being on their own and single than the other styles. Dismissive Avoidant (Insecure) The parent was barely meeting their child’s needs if at all, Dismissive Avoidants experienced emotional neglect.The child learnt to shut down their needs and shut down their emotions to avoid the constant rejection. They subconsciously keep love at arm’s length to avoid being engulfed by the pain of rejection. Dismissive Avoidants are uncomfortable with close relationships and intimacy. They are very independent (lone wolf type people). They avoid closeness, their independence and self-sufficiency are more important to them than intimacy. They are hyper-vigilant  about their partner’s attempts to control or limit their autonomy and freedom in any way. Fearful Avoidant (Insecure) Parents were unable to regulate child when in distress, creating confusion as the parents were not a safe place i.e openly discouraged outward displays of emotion, such as crying when sad or noisy cheer when happy. A combination of Anxious and Avoidant them. Uncomfortable with intimacy yet worry about partner’s commitment and love. Fearful Avoidants have a lot of anxiety around trust They fear connection but deeply want  it at the same time (suffer from an internal loneliness). They fear being alone but they also fear being trapped, helpless or powerless . Now you can change your attachment style: -Therapy, therapy, therapy  -Read the book Attached -Amir Levine M.D and Rachel S.L Heller M.A -Neurological programming- We are transformed by the renewal of our mind~Romans 12:2 -Heal your shame and raise your self-esteem. -Practice communication with safe friends and family, so you can honour, and assertively express your emotional needs. -Do not date in isolation, we need wise counsel for our blindspots. -Be authentic and direct. Say no to games!  -Do not play games or try to manipulate your partner’s interest. -Stop fault finding  -Stop being reactionary and learn to resolve conflict and compromise from a “we” perspective. Connect wit Kasey King  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ksalonecoach/ Blog: Hopeful Inspirations  E Book- 5 Senses of Love E Guide- 5 Days to a new you  Podcast- A Melanated Mess -Relationship Podcast ............. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

Today Sisanda CJ  and I tackle the topic of Sexual Violence, Childhood Sexual Abuse and Rape Culture.  Sisanda CJ is a Transformational Life Coach and the Founder  of the @refinedeight , helping girls & women live in the fullness of who they were created to be and is the After overcoming being sexually abused and raped by her own father at age 11, Sisanda's mission is to show others that there is life, love, happiness and peace after brokenness. Tools: You cannot heal from any form of sexual violence alone, find trusted friends, family members, therapist, counsellors who you can voice your experience too.Your voice, your story, your experience matters. Forgiveness is a very complex process. Forgiveness is not denial. To relinquish the pain you have to firstly forgive yourself for questioning your worth, blaming yourself, lying to yourself to suppress the pain. To unburden yourself of the emotional pain embarking on the journey of forgiving the perpetrator may be very helpful. There is freedom, hope and joy on the other side of sexual violence. Be kind to yourself. ............................... Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse (HAVOCA) havoca.org Information and support for adults affected by childhood abuse, including an online support forum. Lifecentre 0808 802 0808 (freephone) 07717 989 022 (textline) lifecentre.uk.com Support for survivors of sexual abuse and anyone supporting them, including a helpline, text support and email counselling. The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) 0808 801 0331 napac.org.uk A charity supporting adult survivors of any form of childhood abuse. Provides a support line and local support services. The Lantern Project lanternproject.org.uk Help and support for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, including an online forum. One in Four oneinfour.org.uk Advocacy service, counselling service (available over Skype and in several languages) and information for people who have experienced sexual abuse. The Survivors Trust 08088 010 818thesurvivorstrust.org Lists local specialist services for survivors of sexual violence, including advocates and Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVAs). ............................................ Contact Sisanda: https://refinedeight.com/ https://www.youtube.com/user/chelseau... https://twitter.com/sisandacj https://www.instagram.com/sisandacj/ ............................................ You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

Today I have three fathers who share their experiences as fathers, how fatherhood changed them, what fatherhood taught them and they explain how they have built a home  with their spouses. Connect: Mr Tandoh MC The Mr Tandoh Show You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

On today’s episode Olivia and I are shaking the tables, please hear our hearts as we uncover this sensitive subject ~’Purity Culture’. “Purity culture” is the term often used for the evangelical movement that attempts to promote a biblical view of purity (1 Thess. 4:3-8) it discourages dating and promotes virginity before marriage, often through the use of tools such as: -Purity Pledges- Making vows to friends and family that you will not have sex before marriage).   -Purity Rings- sometimes worn as outward symbols by those who have made a purity pledge.   -Purity Balls (Father-Daughter Purity Balls)are formal dance events attended by fathers and their daughters that promote virginity until marriage for teenage girls.   -Teachings directed at young girls that if you have sex before marriage you are a rotten egg or chewed gum. If you grew up in church communities or particular cultural backgrounds as a young female your virginity was your prized possession.     —————————————————————  Purity is a fruit of our intimacy with Christ, we are already sanctified by Christ and by faith we walk out sexual stewardship as apart of our sanctification journey.   How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. Psalm 119:9   The celibacy journey is a journey of more intimacy with Christ not a journey to obtain a ‘Jesus of a husband’.   Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10   A choice of celibacy is the spiritual practice of surrendering our bodies to Christ as we pursue a personal relationship with him.   “God wants you to be made holy. He wants you to stay away from sexual sins. 4 He wants all of you to learn to control your own bodies. You must live in a way that is holy. You must live with honour.” 1 Thess. 4:3-4 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 We as Christians have permission to be sensual, sexually liberated within our convictions and free from shame. Your worth is in Christ! Do not let fear based rules dictate your worth. Resources: Article:The 5 purity culture myths and why they are false promises  Author: Dr Camden  Link:https://www.cbeinternational.org/resource/article/mutuality-blog-magazine/5-purity-culture-myths-and-why-they-are-false-promises You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

Today I am solo, I am just letting you all know how much I thought I knew but how much I didn't know. I am a Pastors Kid and with that came a life on the pedestal of 'excellence', elitism and pride. When real adult life kicked off, the know it all kid was unable to deal with the basic realities of life.  On the journey of life, there are several choices to make; different paths and pivots we can take; relationships to maintain; relationships which break and with a plethora of opinions and an overload of facts; only the truth will expose us to true freedom. The truth is discovered and unleashed in the process when you place yourself in the position of learner, I'm currently learning to trust God as I trust the process- Selah.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX! Today Brittany Broaddus-Smith-Sexologist and I discuss navigating our sexual identity. Have you actually sat down to assess what sex means to you? Mass media, Secondary School- Sex Ed, Church Culture and the awkward conversations with parents or the silence of parents all informed us of what sex is. To become an owner of your sexual identity you have to review all your ideologies surrounding sex and assess what aligns with who you are, your values and convictions.  Nuggets: Developing your sexual ethic starts with understanding what sex is.  Sexual authenticity is honouring what is real for you- we are tripartite beings so enjoying the sex that your having requires the soul, body and mind to be unified in the sexual experience.  Sexual ownership- requires that the sexual engagement has been consented to and you have equal equitable rights to communicate that you would like to sexually engage or disengage (without any coercion).   Becoming confident in your sexual identity begins with knowing your body- look at your genitals!!! Sexual compatibility is developed when you place yourself in the position of learner. Give yourselves the grace to grow, unlike porn real sex is not a performance.  To be vulnerable about sexual trauma with your partner, trust must be built for it to be safe space.  Vaginismus- is the body's automatic reaction to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration. Whenever penetration is attempted, the vaginal muscles tighten up on their own. Secondary vaginismus- when you have previously enjoyed painless penetrative sex but have later developed uncontrollable vaginal muscle spasms. There are several causes as to why one may have vaginismus  but seeing a health professional, a pelvic floor physical therapist can assist with muscle relaxation either with direct interaction or using dilators. Vaginismus is known to be caused by mainly psychological factors-seeing a therapist may be useful to address the fears associated with sex.  Instagram- THE INTIMACY FIRM Understanding Intimacy E-Guide $5 off coupon code - IDK  You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

This week, Spencer and I discuss being raised in an African Household and some of the things we want to take into parenthood and some of the things we are leaving behind. We also reflect on the challenges of raising 21st century children: social media envy and comparison, cyber bullying and online predators ect. You can find Spencer at instagram on isthatspenny You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast  

On today’s episode, my friend Bernard details his battle with depression and anxiety; relationship breakdowns and his journey to discovering the importance of self-love. On the ride we are relinquishing all the shame attached to the taboo topic of mental health; we are learning to honour our feelings and we are practicing the need to be kind to ourselves. Resources:  Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 1 Peter 5:7  Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. 2 Timothy 1:7  For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Mental Health Services: Samaritans Telephone: 116 123 (24 hours a day, free to call) Email: jo@samaritans.org Website: https://www.samaritans.org Provides confidential, non-judgemental emotional support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those that could lead to suicide. You can phone, email, write a letter or in most cases talk to someone face to face. Mind Infoline Telephone: 0300 123 3393 (9am-6pm Monday to Friday) or text 86463 Email: info@mind.org.uk Website: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines Mind provides confidential mental health information services. With support and understanding, Mind enables people to make informed choices. The Infoline gives information on types of mental health problems, where to get help, drug treatments, alternative therapies and advocacy. Mind works in partnership with around 140 local Minds providing local mental health services. Rethink Mental Illness Advice Line Telephone: 0300 5000 927 (9.30am - 4pm Monday to Friday) Email: advice@rethink.org Website: http://www.rethink.org/about-us/our-mental-health-advice Provides expert advice and information to people with mental health problems and those who care for them, as well as giving help to health professionals, employers and staff. Rethink also runs Rethink services and groups across England. Saneline Telephone: 0300 304 7000 (4:30pm-10:30pm) Website: www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline Saneline is a national mental health helpline providing information and support to people with mental health problems and those who support them. The Mix Telephone: 0808 808 4994 (11am-11pm, free to call) Email: Helpline email form Crisis Support: Text 'THEMIX' to 85258. Website: www.themix.org.uk/get-support The Mix provides judgement-free information and support to young people aged 13-25 on a range of issues including mental health problems. Young people can access the The Mix's support via phone, email, webchat, peer to peer and counselling services. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast    

On this week’s episode I brought on Reginald Lartey, who is a Digital Marketer and an Events Host known as Mr Lartz and I personally know him as a Community Champion; who loves to connect individuals together. We discuss all things identity, friendships and community. In the midst of a strong cancel culture and the promoted quest to identify the toxic and jealous friends- Judas, I felt prompted to have a discussion on how to navigate our friendships so that we can journey with people, build with people and grow within our friendships. The journey of the rollercoaster ride requires a support system to help us deal with the turbulences, the pivots and all the season changes life bring. Friendships reaffirm our identity; they provide a safe space for our evolution and the provide the needed banter to keep us going. By knowing who we are and being confident in ourselves; working through healthy communication, the  honouring and respecting of boundaries, we can probably sustain the vast majority of somewhat broken friendships: Tools: When you know that you are loved, you are not seeking the validation of others and are more likely to connect with people from an authentic place. Friendships and community are built upon respect and honour -do not seek to win but seek to understand-you need people that challenge the way you think Friendships are so important because they are a safe space and in this life you need a community you can run to, who will offer you grace Every relational dynamic requires that there is room for evolution so friendships should challenge you Communication, Communication, Communication- no mind reading games!!! It is important for your friends to know how best they can serve you in a given season. Boundaries should be created to protect friendships; they are to be honoured and not negotiated. When establishing boundaries, it is also a necessity to establish the weaknesses and strengths in those boundaries; which ensures there is accountability.   Verses: Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. Proverbs 27:17Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 1 Peter 1: 22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart Please connect with Reginald Lartey @mrlartz You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast  

Heartbreak, the dark night of the soul, relational disconnect are experiences we go through on this rollercoaster journey, whether that be romantic, friendship relationships and parental ect. On today’s episode I brought my good friend TG on to share his heartbreak story and how he embarked on a journey of wholeness to meet his now fiancé. Heartbreak is real! The societal shame against the full embracing of the depth of pain that can be experienced from heartbreak has fuelled self-destructive behaviour. We are wired for connection so when there is disconnect there is a real sense of grief. The normalities of life with this person no longer exists and it can be very difficult initially. Despite the cause of the heartbreak there are biophysical reactions that release the sensations of your heart actually shattering. fMRI studies of heartbroken people have revealed that heartbreak activates similar mechanisms in the brain to those activated when we experience physical pain, so please be gracious with yourself. Heartbreak has varying dimensions, timeframes and intensities so please be gracious with yourself: Allow your heart to break. Go through it and not around it! (some days are going to be easier than others) Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds, run to Love and abide in Him Surround yourself with your trusted loved ones, do not do heartbreak alone and allow them to be listening ears and affirmers of who you are Healing takes intentional time, revel in your independence, look for what your passionate about, start to work on areas in yourself that need developing When building relational connections after heartbreak we must ensure that we have healed from the trust issues and insecurities that may have come from the previous relationship, so we are not placing un-dealt pain on a new partner. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast  

IDK family, on today’s episode I brought my sister Josephine on to discuss why dating does not have to be the Ghetto but how we have made it Ghetto. Like many people, Josephine is looking at these dating streets with despair. On the dating scene there is an undercurrent of dishonesty; mistrust; ambiguity; lack of relational definition (situationship galore); relational anxiety and a highly accelerated involvement of sex before friendship. I would like to encourage those who are interested in dating, that the process of getting to know people, taking the time to learn people and form meaningful friendships is very beautiful. If we allow love, honour and respect to drive the dating process, things would look very different. Dating becomes ghetto when we enter the dating streets unprepared: We must first love ourselves, this dating scene is not a means to find love but extend the love we have within us to another.  Heal! Broken people break people and this can be unintentionally. Know who you are and what you stand for, establish boundaries and ensure that they are respected before progressing into a romantic relationship. We cannot control who we attract but we can control who we entertain and engage with. You have to be prepared for rejection because not everyone is going to like us. Do not compromise your values and your virtues in the pursuit of being liked. Dating is a process, not a destination, so hard conversations have to be had about the status of the relational dynamic and the direction it is taking. Getting to know someone takes intentional time and the dating scene has become ghetto because we are rushing. We must not allow our trust levels to supersede our intimacy levels- building trust takes time. To be fully loved, you have to be fully known- vulnerability is strength. Online dating is a new way to meet, converse and interact with people outside of your social circle so if you are looking to branch out- the apps are popping off. Like with everything on this dating scene it comes with its complexities. The swipe left and swipe right culture can sometimes feed into our desire for perfectionism in a partner.  Be honest on your profile about who you are and what you want. Do not reduce people to profiles. For my Christian brothers and sisters, do not over spiritualise dating. God is in us and His principles on Love are our guideline. Wise counsel is very important but we do not need 27 confirmations from every prophet we know. The reality is, we cannot eliminate the risk of Love. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast

My guest Francis Appiagyei (the founder of the @letsdohumanspodcast explains how he navigated dating in his 20s and shares his dating experience as a man in his 30s. The number one question he asks himself now when he dates a woman is ‘Can she be wife?’ What I Do Know now: Before you date, you have to know who you are (values, beliefs, purpose, dreams, aspirations, likes, dislikes, quirks ect.) and establish your standards. Before a date find out about the person’s interests and try to find an interest within their interests as it helps establish a topic of conversation for the first date. When dating, make sure you match the expectations you have of people you date. Make sure you uphold your standards, while giving people the room to grow-nobody is perfect. Keep up with Francis on @letsdohumans on Instagram: Castbox- https://castbox.fm/channel/LetsDoHuma... iTunes- https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/l... Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/LetsDoHumans/ Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/show/119kKxj... Twitter- https://twitter.com/letsdohumans You can support the podcast by sharing the IDK Collective Podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat on ITUNES: IDKCOLLECTIVEPODCAST To connect and continue the discussion follows us on Instagram: @idkcollectivepodcast

On this first episode of IDK Collective Podcast, I welcome none other than my mother, Mrs Asuming, my confidence icon. The Tools for Confidence:  Self-confidence is when you believe and trust in your self  The journey of confidence requires one to be self-aware, you have to know your strengths and weaknesses  When you become aware of your weaknesses you can seek help or use resources to strengthen and develop these areas to gain confidence in your shortcomings  Taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone develops self-efficacy (the belief you have the capacity to influence the events in your life)  When you test your capabilities, you realise how capable you really are To be confident you have to love yourself  You are worthy of love because you have been created by a Father who deeply loves you  To grow in confidence, you have to be kind to yourself in the process of learning  To develop in self-confidence and self-love, you have to be prepared to discipline yourself, discipline your mind and the way you think about yourself  Positive affirmations have to be professed to counteract the inner critic You have to learn to encourage yourself A relationship status will not validate who you are  Nobody wants a liability so be committed to building your assets  Verses: Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 1Samuel 30:6 But David encouraged himself in the Lord Phillipians1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/idk-collective-podcast/id1515236654 To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast 

Welcome IDK Family I am on a personal journey of developing self- awareness, self- growth and self-control. My journey has birthed the IDK Collective Podcast. I didn't know, I don't know, I do know... Come and join each week as we uncover the nuances of this roller coaster ride called life. There are several choices to make; several paths and pivots we can take; a plethora of opinions and an overload of facts but only the truth will expose us to true freedom on this ride. IDK is not to be understood as a passive or ignorant response to the questions of life but is a posture of humility, as we seek after wisdom, assess our belief systems and our default programming.  Brace yourself and buckle up.