Podcast appearances and mentions of John Bowlby

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John Bowlby

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Best podcasts about John Bowlby

Latest podcast episodes about John Bowlby

Do you really know?
What are the four types of attachment in our relationships?

Do you really know?

Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2025 4:59


The types of attachment were theorized by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s. They are widely used to help us understand how we react to situations in our relationships, whether it be with romantic partners, friends or family members.   Bowlby relied on research on the impact of early separations between infants and their mothers, and emphasized the importance of attachment relationships in the social and emotional development of children, as well as their long-term mental health. What exactly is an attachment style? And what about the other two types? In under 3 minutes, we answer your questions ! To listen to the latest episodes, click here: ⁠Why are we obsessed with presenteeism?⁠ ⁠What is the snowball method of paying back debt?⁠ ⁠What is PimEyes, the powerful tool ending online anonymity?⁠ A Bababam Originals podcast written and realised by Joseph Chance. First Broadcast: 28/5/2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
How to Identify and Heal from Emotional Enmeshment: An Attachment Theory Perspective

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2025 44:53


Many wonder if they're "stuck" in a pattern or if healing and growth are possible.Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
The Daily Practice: Earning Secure Attachment

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 42:05


Many wonder if they're "stuck" in a pattern or if healing and growth are possible.Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

OUT THERE ON THE EDGE OF EVERYTHING®
Podcast: What is your attachment style?

OUT THERE ON THE EDGE OF EVERYTHING®

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2025 8:13


EPISODE 215 Your attachment style, is a psychological blueprint that influences how you relate to others. Attachment theory was developed by British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby and later expanded by American-Canadian developmental psychologist, Mary Ainsworth. Attachment theory is based on how you bonded with your primary caregivers (e.g., your mother, grandmother, aunt, father, etc.) which tends to mirror how you bond with others as an adult. There are four types of personal and professional attachment styles: (1) secure; (2) anxious; (3) avoidant; and (4) disorganized. Attachment style is very important in your personal life. Attachment style plays a surprisingly powerful role in your professional life as well. Your professional attachment style influences leadership, communication, collaboration, negotiation, and even how you handle success or failure. How can you change your current personal or professional attachment style? Creating a new attachment style by rewiring your own emotional habits allows you to create healthier connections and build new relationships in a new way to create a positive impact in your own life. Out There on the Edge of Everything®… Stephen Lesavich, PhD Copyright © 2025 by Stephen Lesavich, PhD.  All rights reserved. Certified solution-focused life coach and experienced business coach. #attachment #attachmentstyle #selfhelp #motivation #personalgrowth #business #businesscoach #lifecoach #lesavich

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
What Role Do Relationships Play In Healing Attachment Wounds?

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2025 39:20


Many wonder if they're "stuck" in a pattern or if healing and growth are possible.Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Les adultes de demain
[MOMENT-CLÉ] Ce dont chaque enfant a besoin pour grandir en sécurité - Gabrielle Douieb

Les adultes de demain

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 3:07


Dans cet extrait, Gabrielle Douieb revient sur les origines fascinantes de la théorie de l'attachement, un pilier en psychologie du développement. Elle nous emmène sur les traces de John Bowlby, psychiatre et psychanalyste anglais, qui a étudié l'impact des séparations précoces chez les enfants après la Seconde Guerre mondiale. Gabrielle explique comment Bowlby a démontré l'importance fondamentale du lien affectif pour le développement du jeune enfant, posant les bases de la théorie de l'attachement : ce besoin primaire de proximité, de protection et de réconfort auprès de figures spécifiques. Elle détaille comment les premiers liens influencent la construction des relations futures et la manière dont l'enfant explore le monde. Un passage essentiel pour comprendre pourquoi l'attachement modélise la personnalité sur le long terme.Gabrielle Douieb est docteure en psychologie et psychologue clinicienne au Centre régional des psychotraumatismes chez l'enfant. Dans l'épisode intégral elle nous éclaire sur :❇️ La différence entre tempérament et caractère❇️ Ce qui relève de l'inné ou de l'acquis❇️ Comment la théorie de l'attachement façonne la relation parent-enfant❇️ Des outils concrets et des explications claires sur la sécurité affective et les différents styles d'attachement❇️ L'importance d'être un « parent suffisamment bon » et non parfait, la gestion des erreurs parentales ainsi que l'impact des traumatismes dans le développement global de l'enfantL'épisode intégral est à retrouver sur toutes les plateformes d'écoutes de podcast le 08/05/2025.

Skillnadens av Sara Bäckmo
Bowlby och bondbönor - Nära gör gott för både barn och bondbönor

Skillnadens av Sara Bäckmo

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 96:26


John Bowlby var den som formulerade anknytningsteorin, nåt som en terapeut har örnkoll på. Philip berättar varför anknytningsteorin fascinerar. Och Sara berättar om bondbönan, som inte är en egentlig böna, och dessutom kommit att bli lite okänd för massorna av trädgårdsodlare. Finns det några gemensamma nämnare för Bowlby och bondbönor? Jomen det gör det nog! Av och med Philip Bäckmo och Sara Bäckmo - www.sarabackmo.se och www.philipbackmo.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
How does Attachment Style Change Over Time?

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025 47:00


Many wonder if they're "stuck" in a pattern or if healing and growth are possible.Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Maintenant, vous savez
Quels sont les 4 types d'attachement dans les relations ?

Maintenant, vous savez

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2025 4:58


Très utilisés pour vous aider à comprendre vos réactions en amour ou en amitié, les types d'attachements ont été théorisés par le psychologue britannique John Bowlby dans les années 50. Il s'est appuyé sur des recherches autour de l'impact des séparations précoces entre les nourrissons et leurs mères. Il a souligné l'importance des relations d'attachement dans le développement social et émotionnel des enfants, ainsi que sur leur santé mentale à long terme. C'est quoi exactement un style d'attachement ? Quels sont-ils alors ? Comment connaître son type d'attachement ?  Écoutez la suite de cet épisode de "Maintenant vous savez". Un podcast Bababam Originals, écrit et réalisé par Olivia Villamy À écouter aussi : Qu'est-ce que l'effet Roméo et Juliette ? Pourquoi dit-on que l'amour dure trois ans ? Qu'est-ce que le syndrome de Bonnie et Clyde ? Retrouvez tous les épisodes de "Maintenant vous savez". Suivez Bababam sur Instagram. Date de première diffusion : 26 mai 2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
How to Remap Your Native Attachment Conditioning (and Why It's More Important Now than Ever to Prevent Or Move Beyond Freeze Mode)

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 44:04


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Dr. John Vervaeke
Lectern Q&As: The Virtue of Love | Featuring John Vervaeke, Ethan, and Ellie

Dr. John Vervaeke

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2025 63:03


Welcome to a special installment of the Lectern Q&A! This month's theme is Love as a Virtue and Existential Stance. This session dives into the nature of love—not just as a feeling, but as a participatory, person-making virtue that binds us to reality and each other. Joining John and Ethan is Ellie, who brings both a deeply reflective presence and insightful contributions to this exploration. Lectern Q&As are a monthly gathering where John and Ethan take questions from The Lectern's members, threading through important themes that are most pertinent and perplexing to the collective. Pre-submitted questions form the bulk of the discussion with a Live Q&A segment toward the end. These conversations are particularly important for generating knowledge that is relevant both to John and The Lectern's broader audience. To participate in these discussions live, submit questions ahead of time and gain access to previous Q&As by signing up at the Alpha Tier (and above) on The Lectern: https://lectern.teachable.com/p/lectern-lounge If you would like to donate purely out of goodwill to support John's work, please consider joining our Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke The Vervaeke Foundation is committed to advancing the scientific pursuit of wisdom and creating a significant impact on the world. https://vervaekefoundation.org/ If you would like to learn and engage regularly in practices that are informed, developed, and endorsed by John and his work, visit Awaken to Meaning's calendar to explore practices that enhance your virtues and foster deeper connections with reality and relationships. https://awakentomeaning.com/join-practice/ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 Welcome and Opening Reflections on Love 02:45 Love as an Existential Stance 05:00 Love, Participatory Knowing, and Binding Identity 08:45 Eros, Philia, and Agape: The Three Movements of Love 13:00 The Person-Making Nature of Love 17:00 Love as a Doorway to the Sacred 20:30 The Transformation of Self Through Love 23:45 Somatic and Embodied Knowing of Love 28:00 Trauma, Attachment, and the Challenge of Loving Well 32:10 Secure Attachment and Love as Practice 37:40 Circling, Dialectic, and Learning to Love Wisely 40:15 The Role of Worldview in Love and Meaning 46:50 A GI, the Sacred, and What We Truly Love About Humanity 54:20 The Ecology of Religions and Participatory Pluralism 59:30 Final Reflections from John, Ethan, and Ellie Biographical Sentences John Vervaeke is a cognitive scientist, philosopher, and the creator of the YouTube series Awakening from the Meaning Crisis. His work focuses on wisdom cultivation, consciousness, and the scientific pursuit of meaning. Ethan is a co-host and facilitator of the Lectern Q&A sessions. He curates conversations that illuminate existential, psychological, and philosophical insights emerging from the community and John's teachings. Ellie is a scholar and practitioner deeply engaged in environmental science, interpersonal growth, and attachment theory. She brings a reflective, embodied perspective to the conversation on love. Ideas, People, and Works Mentioned in this Episode Søren Kierkegaard John Bowlby, Attachment Theory Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight, Attachment Theory in Practice Eric Fromm, The Art of Loving Thomas Kuhn, Paradigms and Worldview Albert Camus, The Stranger Martin Buber, I and Thou Taoism and the concept of the Dao as Mother Mahayana Buddhism, Bodhisattva path Sufism and Divine Love Socratic Knowledge and Dialogos Circling & Dialectic into Dialogos Lauren Barrett, Emotionally Focused Therapy Halcyon Guild Pluralism in religion and spiritual practice Connect with John Vervaeke Website: https://johnvervaeke.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vervaeke_john YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@johnvervaeke Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke Thank you for Listening!

The Weekend University
Attachment and Compassion in Psychotherapy — Paul Gilbert and Jeremy Holmes

The Weekend University

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2025 66:59


In this episode, I'm joined by Professor Paul Gilbert and Professor Jeremy Holmes. Paul is the developer of Compassion Focused Therapy and one of the world's leading clinical psychologists studying the scientific application of compassion in therapeutic practice. Jeremy is an award winning attachment expert, clinician, and author, whose books include: In Search of the Secure Base, Attachment & Psychotherapy, and most recently The Spirit of Psychotherapy. In this wide ranging discussion, we explore: — The difference between “safety” and “safeness” and why this is vital to understand in therapeutic practice — How early attachment dynamics shape our developmental trajectory and relationships throughout life — How attachment theory helped to form the theoretical foundations of Compassion Focused Therapy. And more. You can find Jeremy's books at http://bit.ly/jh-books and learn more about Paul's work at http://compassionatemind.co.uk --- Professor Paul Gilbert, FBPsS, PhD, OBE is a British clinical psychologist, the founder of compassion focused therapy (CFT), compassionate mind training (CMT) and author of books such as The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges, Overcoming Depression. He has researched evolutionary approaches to psychopathology for over 40 years with a special focus on the roles of mood, shame and self-criticism in various mental health difficulties for which Compassion Focused Therapy was developed. Professor Gilbert has written/edited 21 books and over 200 papers. In 2006 he established the Compassionate Mind Foundation as an international charity with the mission statement: “To promote wellbeing through the scientific understanding and application of compassion”. Professor Jeremy Holmes is a clinician, author, leading Attachment expert, and three-time speaker at The Weekend University. For 35 years, he was Consultant Psychiatrist/Medical Psychotherapist at University College London (UCL) and then in North Devon, UK, and Chair of the Psychotherapy Faculty of the Royal College of Psychiatrists 1998-2002. He is visiting Professor at the University of Exeter, and lectures nationally and internationally. In addition to 200+ peer-reviewed papers and chapters in the field of psychoanalysis and attachment theory, his books include John Bowlby and Attachment Theory, Exploring In Security, Attachment in Therapeutic Practice, and most recently: “The Brain has a Mind of Its Own”. He was the recipient of the Bowlby-Ainsworth Founders Award 2009. --- Interview Links: — Jeremy's books - http://bit.ly/jh-books — Paul's work - http://compassionatemind.co.uk

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
An Attachment Perspective: How to Navigate Rejection Sensitivity

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2025 52:00


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
An Attachment Perspective: How to End Perfectionism + Validation-Seeking Behavior

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 44:51


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Vlan!
[NEWS] La gentillesse est-elle toujours une vertu?

Vlan!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 23:44


Cet épisode est une lecture de ma newsletter disponible ici. Vous pouvez retrouver la vidéo de cet épisode sur Youtube sur la chaîne de Vlan!Dans cette époque particulièrement dystopique, la gentillesse trône au sommet de la hiérarchie des vertus recherchées.On la réclame, on la valorise, on l'érige en panacée contre toutes les violences contemporaines. Partout, on implore la bonté, on quémande la générosité, on s'abreuve avidement aux sources des énergies positives.Et je m'y plie avec dévotion depuis ma plus tendre enfance.Je me suis toujours défini comme un « gentil » et c'est probablement ainsi que mon entourage me décrirait sans hésiter quoique c'est sans doute présomptueux de ma part. Mais cette vertu tant louée dissimule-t-elle des zones d'ombre que je refuse obstinément de reconnaître ou plutôt contre lesquelles je ne travaille pas assez?Il y a quelques mois, le jour de mon anniversaire, une amie autrice britannique, Taiye Selasi, m'a lancé cette phrase qui m'a ébranlé : « The problem, Greg, is that you are a nice guy when you should be kind instead ».Encore une fois, une nuance linguistique anglaise qui m'échappait. Car comme vous sans doute, à cet instant précis, j'étais incapable de distinguer entre « nice » et « kind », les deux se fondant dans le même mot français : « gentil ». Je lui ai donc demandé d'éclairer ma lanterne.Gentil ou authentique : le dilemme qui vous détruitElle m'a expliqué que « kind » incarnait une forme de bienveillance et de bonté du cœur qui circule dans les deux sens – envers les autres, mais aussi, et c'est crucial, envers soi-même.Une personne « kind » connaît intimement ses propres limites et pose des frontières claires aux autres. Tandis qu'une personne « nice » serait rongée par un besoin viscéral d'être aimée, au point que toutes ses barrières s'effondrent – transformant cette prétendue qualité en authentique défaut.Elle m'a alors recommandé la lecture de « No More Mister Nice Guy » de Robert Glover, que j'ai reçu sans tarder sur Vlan !L'épisode étant en anglais, j'ai décidé d'en faire cette newsletter pour vous expliquer pourquoi ce sujet me touche personnellement, et partager avec vous ce que j'en retire.Il y a tant de personnes méchantes et sournoises dans ce monde, pourquoi donc questionner la gentillesse ?Existe-t-il véritablement un « syndrome du gentil » ?La gentillesse pourrait-elle cacher des faces obscures ? Comment être gentil de manière juste ? Doit-on adhérer entièrement à la réflexion de Robert Glover ? Quelles critiques peut-on lui adresser ?La gentillesse comme bouclier contre les coupsPour saisir pourquoi ce sujet me touche particulièrement, je dois vous embarquer dans la construction de mon identité, et je pressens que cela résonnera avec certains d'entre vous.Ma mère n'était pas fondamentalement maltraitante, mais elle nous battait, mon frère et moi, de façon régulière (oui j'ai traité le sujet avec elle depuis).J'ai donc appris très tôt cette équation fatale : pour être aimé, il fallait être gentil, se plier en quatre pour tenter désespérément de faire plaisir.Bien sûr, je suis naturellement doté d'une bonté et d'une générosité profonde, mais vous remarquerez sans doute que la gentillesse dans laquelle je me suis enfermé n'était pas authentiquement la mienne. J'y reviendrai.Mon objectif premier ? Éviter les coups, tout simplement, mais surtout – gagner l'amour de ma mère. Cela implique que j'ai également intégré l'idée que les coups pouvaient s'entrelacer à l'amour – mais c'est un autre sujet que j'explorerai en temps voulu.Mon enfance s'est structurée sur ces fondations : la gentillesse comme mécanisme instinctif de protection et le rire comme échappatoire vitale. Comment refuser d'aimer une personne gentille ? Une personne qui s'évertue à devancer vos moindres attentes ?Au fil des années, je me suis métamorphosé en véritable caméléon, tentant de devenir ce que j'imaginais que les autres attendaient de moi, fuyant le conflit comme la peste.“Qu'est-ce qu'ils vont penser ?” : le mantra des dominésIl y a évidemment une part naturelle de socialisation et un besoin viscéral d'appartenance dans tout cela.Particulièrement quand, comme moi, vous êtes métis sans racines solides d'un côté puisque « descendant d'esclaves », portant le fardeau de la culpabilité d'être différent, écrasé par la pression sociétale d'être un « bon français », ce qui en France, avec notre modèle d'intégration républicaine, suppose d'être « plus blanc que blanc ».Ma mère nous a inculqué très tôt l'obligation d'être plus polis, plus irréprochables que quiconque, nous martelant régulièrement cette question : « qu'est-ce qu'ils vont penser ? ».Déjà qu'on nous montrait du doigt dans le village de mes grands-parents paternels – il semblait évident qu'on devait faire profil bas.Cqfd : cette stratégie est vouée à l'échec. On vous reprochera toujours votre couleur de peau jusqu'à ce que vous vous intégriez socialement, c'est-à-dire jusqu'à ce que vos revenus ou votre statut vous permettent de transcender cette réalité.Et même dans ce cas, dans certains contextes, cela reste illusoire.Pour être sincère, les gens tombent toujours des nues quand j'évoque le racisme ordinaire qui a jalonné mon existence, car après tout « on ne dirait pas vraiment que tu es noir toi, on pourrait penser que tu es italien, israélien, libanais, marocain, etc. ».J'ai entendu cette phrase un nombre incalculable de fois et ma réponse reste invariablement la même : « ce qui est certain, c'est que je ne suis pas blanc, et je peux t'assurer que la rue, la police, les institutions me le rappellent régulièrement ». Je vous le confie ici : je suis né d'un père bourguignon et d'une mère martiniquaise, elle-même métisse noire et indienne – et aujourd'hui, j'en porte fièrement l'héritage.Par ailleurs, il faut savoir qu'une règle tacite règne presque universellement (y compris sur les continents africain et asiatique) : plus la peau est claire, plus on vous valorise – le noir occupant le bas de l'échelle, particulièrement pour les femmes malheureusement pour elles, les études sont unanimes.Je vous raconte tout cela car ce phénomène a exacerbé un complexe qui grandissait insidieusement en moi.Votre gentillesse vous étouffe - et les autres le sententComme Robert Glover l'explique, être un "nice guy" suppose de dissimuler sa véritable nature pour éviter de froisser quiconque.Cette dynamique rappelle étrangement le "doublethink" décrit par Orwell dans "1984" – cette capacité à maintenir simultanément deux croyances contradictoires. D'un côté, notre authenticité profonde, et de l'autre, l'image que nous projetons pour être acceptés.Le terme qui définirait le plus justement ce type de gentillesse serait peut-être « débonnaire », qui signifie selon le Larousse « être bon jusqu'à la faiblesse ».Un terme rarement utilisé mais qui capture parfaitement ce que Robert Glover décrit, et que j'adopterai désormais dans cette newsletter pour définir ce type de « gentillesse ».Cela me permet en outre de préserver le terme « gentil » qui me semble fondamentalement précieux.Les débonnaires, donc, sont tellement obsédés par la dissimulation de leur véritable nature et par les désirs des autres qu'ils en oublient leurs propres aspirations.Une voix intérieure nous souffle : « ça sera plus simple comme ça, sinon ça va créer du conflit et on doit pouvoir l'éviter ». Deux scénarios se présentent alors : soit notre interlocuteur, presque malgré lui, repousse les limites et devient maltraitant – un comportement infantile qui révèle le besoin que quelqu'un fixe des frontières.Soit le débonnaire accumule tant de frustrations qu'il finit par exploser, provoquant précisément les tensions qu'il s'efforçait d'éviter.Dans les deux cas, nous sommes inéluctablement perdants.Je suis gentil, donc je ne suis pasSelon Robert Glover, la débonnaireté s'enracine dans deux terrains principaux : une honte toxique accompagnée d'une petite voix intérieure qui murmure « je ne suis pas assez bien comme je suis » ou simplement « je ne suis pas assez », et une angoisse dévorante d'être abandonné ou blessé.On retrouve ici les personnes avec un attachement anxieux. J'ai d'ailleurs consacré un épisode de Vlan ! à ce sujet, si vous souhaitez l'approfondir.En deux mots, la théorie de l'attachement, développée par John Bowlby, distingue trois types principaux d'attachement : anxieux, sécurisé et évitant. Ces modèles d'attachement se forgent généralement durant l'enfance.L'attachement anxieux se développe lorsque la réponse aux besoins émotionnels de l'enfant est imprévisible ou incohérente.En grandissant, ces individus vivent dans la crainte perpétuelle de perdre l'affection ou l'attention d'autrui, cherchant à compenser cette insécurité fondamentale par des comportements de dépendance affective marqués.Une personne ayant développé un attachement anxieux sera particulièrement vulnérable à la codépendance.Elle s'enferme dans une dynamique où ses besoins, ses désirs et son équilibre émotionnel dépendent étroitement du regard et de l'attention de l'autre.Cette dépendance excessive engendre souvent un cercle vicieux : plus la personne s'accroche, plus elle risque d'éloigner l'autre, confirmant ainsi sa peur primordiale de l'abandon.Vivre par procuration : l'existence fantômeLa codépendance est un concept initialement forgé dans le contexte des addictions, spécifiquement pour décrire le comportement des proches de personnes dépendantes à l'alcool ou à des substances. Il émerge aux États-Unis dans les années 1970, en parallèle de la prise de conscience des dynamiques relationnelles au sein des familles d'alcooliques.Originellement, être codépendant signifiait adopter un comportement centré sur l'autre, jusqu'à s'oublier soi-même, dans une tentative désespérée de contrôler, sauver ou protéger la personne dépendante.Au fil du temps, le concept de codépendance a transcendé le cadre strict des addictions pour décrire des relations affectives marquées par une anxiété relationnelle intense. Aujourd'hui, la codépendance désigne une tendance à s'investir excessivement dans les relations, à dépendre viscéralement de l'approbation d'autrui pour nourrir son estime de soi, et à éprouver une anxiété dévorante liée à la peur de l'abandon ou du rejet.Prendre conscience de ces mécanismes permet de mieux comprendre et d'apaiser ces dynamiques relationnelles en travaillant notamment sur la sécurisation de son attachement et sur l'affirmation de soi.Personnellement, je ne pense pas avoir vécu de véritable codépendance, mais j'ai longtemps navigué avec un attachement anxieux que j'ai laborieusement travaillé en thérapie, me permettant d'atteindre aujourd'hui un attachement bien plus sécurisé. D'ailleurs, plus que de codépendance, Robert Glover préfère parler de « fonctionnement emprunté » (« borrowed functioning »).Ce concept décrit une situation où l'on s'appuie excessivement sur les compétences, les émotions ou la validation d'autrui pour fonctionner quotidiennement, faute de pouvoir mobiliser ses propres ressources intérieures. Cette perspective souligne l'importance cruciale de cultiver une véritable autonomie émotionnelle plutôt que de vivre par procuration.Le contrat invisible qui pourrit vos relationsCette démarche, observée avec recul, recèle une dimension profondément auto-centrée : la personne cherche avant tout à éviter l'abandon, à s'assurer d'être aimée – il s'agit fondamentalement d'elle-même, non de l'autre.Comme l'explique Robert Glover, cela revient implicitement à dire : « regarde comme je suis gentil, regarde tout ce que je fais pour toi, regarde comme il n'y a jamais de problème avec moi ».L'injustice fondamentale de cette approche réside dans le contrat tacite que le débonnaire établit : « si j'agis ainsi pour toi, alors tu dois agir ainsi pour moi » – mais l'autre ignore tout de ce contrat implicite, et l'émetteur lui-même n'en a souvent pas conscience.J'évoquais plus haut l'effet « cocotte-minute » des débonnaires, un phénomène que je m'efforce d'éviter mais auquel je me dois d'avour que je succombe encore régulièrement.Robert Glover explique que cela peut culminer en un véritable déversement victimaire : « regarde comme tu me traites alors que moi, j'ai fait tout cela pour toi, et moi, et moi... »L'injustice fondamentale tient au fait que le débonnaire incrimine l'autre pour des choses qu'elle n'a jamais explicitement demandées.Parfois, ce comportement sabote la relation elle-même : à force de vouloir éviter de heurter qui que ce soit, on finit par causer des blessures bien plus profondes.Le paradoxe fatal : blesser en voulant protégerJe me souviens d'une situation emblématique entre une amie très proche, de passage à Paris, et ma nouvelle compagne de l'époque, il y a 15 ou 20 ans.Toutes deux souhaitaient me voir au même moment, et je désirais les voir toutes les deux.Plutôt que d'aborder franchement la situation avec l'une ou l'autre, j'ai tenté de les voir toutes les deux, résultant en une double frustration : aucune n'avait eu suffisamment de mon temps.Sur le moment, j'ai trouvé leur réaction profondément injuste, alors qu'il aurait suffi d'exprimer clairement la situation, sans craindre un désaccord imaginaire, pour que tout se résolve naturellement.En réalité, nous présupposons les réactions des autres sans jamais solliciter leur avis – c'est l'un des travers majeurs des débonnaires, qui deviennent ainsi, paradoxalement, manipulateurs.Le paradoxe, c'est que j'apprécie profondément cette facette de ma personnalité : ma générosité, mon empathie, ma nature accommodante.La question n'est évidemment pas de renier ces qualités, mais plutôt d'apprendre à reconnaître ce qui nous dérange, à l'exprimer sereinement et à établir des limites claires.Dit ainsi, cela semble simple – mais je sais pertinemment qu'on ne réalise souvent qu'après coup qu'on n'a pas respecté ses propres limites.Vers une gentillesse authentique : pistes de reconstructionComment s'extraire de ces mécanismes, ou comment accompagner quelqu'un qui s'y reconnaît ?Je crois que l'essentiel réside dans la communication ouverte, la compréhension des traumas sous-jacents, puis un travail personnel, en couple et généralement avec un thérapeute in fine.Un conseil précieux que j'ai reçu et que je m'efforce d'appliquer : quand on est fondamentalement cérébral, il peut être révélateur de se tourner vers des approches thérapeutiques centrées sur le corps – et inversement.Notre tendance naturelle nous pousse vers des thérapies qui font écho à notre fonctionnement, mais l'inverse peut s'avérer profondément transformateur.J'ai d'ailleurs consacré plusieurs épisodes au corps, notamment sur la posture juste avec Thierry Janssen, chirurgien devenu thérapeute, sur le nerf vague avec Ludovic Leroux, ou encore sur l'intelligence corporelle avec Eve Berger.On peut commencer par cultiver l'affirmation de soi, apprendre l'art du refus, exprimer clairement ses ressentis, et privilégier son bien-être personnel.S'exercer simplement à dire « non » dans des contextes peu menaçants pour renforcer progressivement sa confiance.C'est en tout cas, ce que je m'assigne à faire.Parallement, si cela peut résonner avec vous, consignez régulièrement dans un journal les situations où vous avez peiné à établir vos limites, en identifiant précisément ce que vous auriez préféré dire ou faire.Une thérapie cognitive comportementale (TCC) peut également vous aider à repérer vos schémas de pensée automatiques et à les remplacer par des perspectives plus réalistes et affirmées.De mon côté, je crois que je vais aller avec un thérapeute somatique pour terminer le travail déjà bien débuté.Si vous n'êtes pas concernée mais que vous côtoyez une personne encline à cette gentillesse excessive, vous pouvez l'aider délicatement à prendre conscience de ses propres limites.Au lieu d'entretenir indirectement ce déséquilibre, encouragez-la à exprimer clairement ses désirs et besoins, même lorsqu'ils diffèrent des vôtres.Proposez-lui des échanges réguliers où elle peut s'exercer à l'affirmation de soi, dans un espace sécurisant où elle peut librement exprimer ses véritables émotions.Évitez tout jugement ou culpabilisation, mais valorisez chaque avancée, même infime, vers l'affirmation personnelle.La question de la masculinité : limite de l'approche de GloverJe diverge de Robert Glover concernant sa vision des relations de genre – son livre s'adresse aux hommes et soutient l'idée que la masculinité serait menacée.Dans notre conversation, il explique qu'historiquement, en raison du patriarcat, les femmes dépendaient financièrement de leurs maris puisqu'elles ne travaillaient pas (ce qui, soit dit en passant, est inexact pour le Moyen Âge).Selon lui, la situation s'est inversée : les femmes seraient devenues plus compétitrices que les hommes.Ces derniers seraient plus passifs, se retrouveraient en position de dépendance, cherchant désespérément à séduire et à plaire.Il dépeint également les réseaux sociaux et les services comme Uber ou Deliveroo comme des « assassins de la masculinité », renforçant prétendument la passivité masculine.Pendant ce temps, les femmes seraient constamment dans la prise de décision et l'action. Elles travaillent majoritairement et, de retour au foyer, assument l'essentiel de la charge mentale et des responsabilités parentales (école, médecin, anticipation des besoins...) – toutes ces activités s'inscrivant dans une dynamique d'action associée, selon lui, à une énergie « masculine ».Selon lui, elles auraient besoin qu'on honore leur féminité, tandis que les hommes devraient reprendre les rênes décisionnelles et l'initiative, sans pour autant chercher à contrôler leurs partenaires.Je ne m'oppose pas totalement à ces pensées mais n'ayant pas approfondi cette dimension avec lui, je peine à cerner pleinement sa penséeToutefois, il me semble important de mentionner que certains lui reprochent une approche qualifiée de masculiniste.Je consacrerai prochainement une newsletter à la masculinité – un sujet fascinant, tant je constate la désorientation de nombreux hommes face à des demandes féminines parfois contradictoires, qu'elles soient conscientes ou non.Être vrai avant d'être gentil : le nouveau contrat social"Si la gentillesse demeure une valeur cardinale, elle doit s'exercer dans un respect égal de soi-même et d'autrui. Comme l'écrivait George Orwell à propos de son engagement contre le fascisme durant la guerre civile espagnole : « Si vous m'aviez demandé pourquoi j'avais rejoint la milice, j'aurais répondu : 'Pour lutter contre le fascisme', et si vous m'aviez demandé pour quoi je me battais, j'aurais répondu : 'Pour la décence commune'. »Cette « décence commune » pourrait bien constituer la clé d'une gentillesse authentique – non pas une gentillesse qui mendie l'approbation à tout prix, mais une bienveillance ancrée dans l'intégrité personnelle, consciente de ses propres limites tout en s'ouvrant généreusement aux autres.Le chemin est sinueux, semé d'obstacles, mais chaque pas vers cette authenticité représente une victoire.Car être véritablement gentil, c'est avant tout être vrai. Suggestion d'autres épisodes à écouter : #171 Mieux se connaitre pour trouver une posture juste avec Thierry Janssen (https://audmns.com/jeikAHO) Vlan #135 Se reconnecter à l'intelligence du corps avec Eve Berger Grosjean (https://audmns.com/ETKQSfx) #288 le remède miracle contre le stress avec Ludovic Leroux (https://audmns.com/aHHEdaH)Distribué par Audiomeans. Visitez audiomeans.fr/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
How to Foster Secure Attachment in Children (Even If You Weren't Raised Securely)

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 44:06


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 43:19


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
Attachment Healing Practices: Meditative Tools to Feel Safe in Relationships

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2025 60:21


Join George Haas as he explores the intersection of attachment theory and meditation, and the path to live a more meaningful life. If you're interested in meditation-based attachment repair for long-term healing, this is for you.Like this? Grab our free video resource called

Thanks for Sharing
Episode 305: Understanding Attachment

Thanks for Sharing

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2025 78:13


In this episode, Jackie is a guest on The Wholeness Network with Mechelle Wingle. This conversation delves into attachment theory, exploring its origins with John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, the different attachment styles, and their implications in various relationships, including family, friendships, and romantic partnerships. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding one's attachment style for personal growth and improving relationships.  Ultimately, they explore the concept of wholeness in therapy, advocating for an integrated approach to mental health.

Mental Health is Horrifying
Companion — What f@*%ed up attachment style is this?

Mental Health is Horrifying

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 37:41


In this episode on Companion (2025), I theorize about what new f@*%ed up attachment style could evolve out of our attempts to attach to AI companion bots. Lord save us.Mental Health is Horrifying is hosted by Candis Green, Registered Psychotherapist and owner of Many Moons Therapy...............................................................Show Notes:Join Illuminative Tarot for Working With Trauma to learn creative ways to work with tarot as a supportive partner in the healing process. Presale pricing currently available.Want to work together? I offer 1:1 psychotherapy (Ontario), along with tarot, horror, and dreamwork services, but individually and through my group program, the Final Girls Club. Podcast artwork by Chloe Hurst at Contempo Mint.Erotic Transference and Countertransference Clinical practice in psychotherapy, Edited By David MannHow 'Companion' Turned Sophie Thatcher Into the "Perfect Girlfriend" by Sadie Bell‘Companion' Director Drew Hancock Reveals the Script Change That Reinvented His Sci-Fi Horror Movie [Interview] by Meagan NavarroNguyen, C. Thi, Games: Agency As Art (New York, 2020; online edn, Oxford Academic, 23 Apr. 2020)Attachment by John Bowlby

With & For / Dr. Pam King
From Rupture to Repair: Relationships, Emotional Regulation, and Our Social Brains, with Dr. Tina Bryson

With & For / Dr. Pam King

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2025 97:07


Our brains hold our relational history—all the joys, all the ruptures, all the repairs. And even in the most difficult childhood or parenting circumstances, the science of relationships and connection can give us hope for whole-brain and whole-life transformation.Therapist, bestselling author, and mom—Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is seeking a connection revolution that brings neurobiology and practical relational wisdom to bear on both how we were parented, how we parent, and how we relate throughout our lifespan.In this conversation with Tina Bryson, we discuss:The science of childhood relational development and growth into strong, adaptive adultsThe brain as our most social organ—capable of holding a lifetime of relational and emotional historyHow to emotionally co-regulate with another person to achieve a calm, peaceful, and vibrant relationshipNeuroplasticity and our ability to change with intention toward our deepest held valuesAnd we explore how the science of connection, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology sheds light on how we were parented, and impacts how we might parent ourselves and how we relate to everyone.Books by Dr. Tina BrysonThe Way of Play (Tina's latest book!)The Whole-Brain ChildNo-Drama DisciplineThe Yes BrainThe Power of Showing UpFollow Tina BrysonTinaBryson.com Instagram X The Center for ConnectionShow NotesDr. Tina Bryson: an expert in neurobiology, parenting, child development, and attachment theory.Highlighting Tina's unique perspective as both a clinician and science-engaged researcher.This conversation focuses on parenting, but it's relevant for everyone—whether you're a leader, mentor, or someone reflecting on your own upbringingThe importance of connection, attunement, and emotional regulation in today's world."I feel so aware that this is not an easy time to be a child or a teenager in the world."Kids today face unique challenges that are very different from previous generations:More stimulation, information, and pressure than ever before.Earlier onset of puberty and adolescence, with young adults taking longer to launch."We often talk about the challenges of youth, which are absolutely real, but we don't want to forget that in many ways, the world is actually safer."Positive shifts in youth well-being: fewer teen pregnancies; safer environments (cars, car seats, public spaces)l greater awareness of mental health, substance use, and emotional well-beingWhat Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home, by William Stixrud and Ned JohnsonThe brain is a social organ—we are profoundly shaped by the people around us."A huge contributor to some of the struggles youth are having is because their grownups are not thriving."Interpersonal neurobiology teaches that children's well-being is tied to their caregivers' ability to regulate their own emotions.Takeaway: Parents who are anxious, reactive, or dysregulated create environments where their children struggle to regulate their emotions."The greatest gift we can give each other is a calm presence."“History is not destiny.”Emotional offloading or outsourcingSafe haven or safe harbor: cozy, safe, calm“My mom will never listen.”Understanding teenagers“Please don't chase your child and force connection.”Non-eye contact feels less intrusive and they'll open up moreUnderstanding Attachment & The Four S's: Safe, Seen, Soothed, SecureSecure attachment is a key predictor of well-being in children and adults.Attachment is built through repeated experiences of the Four S's:Safe: "Do I feel physically and emotionally secure with this person?"Seen: "Does this person understand and acknowledge my emotions and experiences?"Soothed: "When I'm in distress, does this person help me feel better?"Secure: "Do I trust that this person will be there for me consistently?"Set an intention: "When my child walks through the door, I want them to feel at rest, safe, and accepted."Practical Parenting Tip: If your child pushes you away, don't force connection. Instead, say: "I can see you need some space right now. I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."Managing Teen Independence: When teens ask for space, don't take it personally. Instead, try: "I'm here if you want to talk later.""Would you be open to a short walk or helping me in the kitchen?"The basics of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary AinsworthMama BearsNot just brain, but whole nervous systemSecure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World, by Sue Marriot and Ann Kelley"Without awareness, we don't have choice."—Dan SiegelHistory is not destiny. We can rewire our brains and create new, healthier patterns in relationships.The availability of your presence creates a secure environmentRegulation & Emotional ResilienceDefinition of Regulation: The ability to monitor and modify emotional states rather than reacting impulsively.It's NOT about being emotionless—it's about responding intentionally”When we mess up, the research shows that as long as we make the repair, the rupture itself was actually beneficial.”Tina Bryson's Fragility Formula: Adversity minus support or plus too much support = fragility. Adversity plus the right amount of support = resilience.Real-Life Example: The Yahtzee IncidentTina shares a personal story of losing her temper while playing Yahtzee with her kids.She repaired the rupture by apologizing, taking responsibility, and asking for a do-over.Pink Flags vs. Red FlagsPink Flags: Subtle signs that you're getting dysregulated (irritability, sarcasm, tension)Red Flags: Full-blown loss of control (yelling, throwing things, shutting down)The Three R's of Parenting: Regulation, Responding, RepairingThe Window of ToleranceGentle Parenting vs  Responsive, Respectful, Regulated, Intentional parentingRegulation: Managing your emotions firstResponding: Engaging with your child in a safe, attuned wayRepairing: Acknowledging when you mess up and making amendsReduce pressure—kids should not feel they must "perform" to be loved.The Power of Breathwork: The Physiological SighQuick, evidence-based technique to reduce stress and reset the nervous system.Take a double inhale through the nose, followed by a longer exhale."It's the quickest thing we know to calm the nervous system."Non-eye-contact conversations (e.g., driving in the car) help teens feel less pressured.The science of thriving vs. surviving: "Survive and thrive are not separate categories. What we do in survival moments can lead to thriving."The River of Well-Being: A Person is Like a Boat on a RiverThe FACES Model for Well-Being (essentially a definition of thriving)Flexible: Open to change and new ideasAdaptive: Able to adjust based on new circumstancesCoherent: Emotional and cognitive stabilityEnergized: Engaged and present in lifeStable: Grounded and consistentFamily Dinner Time: Keeping it light, being more presentPractical Exercise to Regulate Emotions: The Deep Physiological SighTurn down the reactivity of your nervous system“The key is: Make your exhale longer than your inhale.”“At his worst is when he needs you the most.”Pre-frontal cortex development: Not mature until late-20s.“The prefrontal cortex is changeable throughout the lifespan.”The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child, Dan Siegel and Tina Payne BrysonThe YES Brain Approach: Four pillars that cultivate resilience in children BRIE (like the cheese)Balance (emotional regulation)Resilience (bouncing back from challenges)Insight (self-awareness and growth mindset)Empathy (understanding others' experiences)"Thriving isn't about avoiding hardships—it's about learning how to navigate them."Recognize your influence: "Your child's nervous system mirrors yours. Take care of yourself first."Discipline and moralityHarsh, punitive discipline doesn't change behavior or develop a moral compass. It teaches them to hide the behavior.Healthy Guilt vs Toxic Shame“The way we don't get kicked out of our group is our conscience.”Guilt “is one of your superpowers.”“No one can lose each other's love.”Give yourself permission to wait and not respond in the moment.“My number one job is to keep you safe.”No lecturing. “What do you think I would say here?” “What's your plan to keep yourself safe?”Tina Bryson on Faith and SpiritualityHealthy spirituality leads to feeling safe, seen, soothed, and secure.The power of narrative and journaling: Making sense of our lives and integrating our brains*Parenting from the Inside Out,* Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell*The Power of Showing Up,* Dan Siegel and Tina BrysonPractical Exercise: Acknowledging, Noticing, and Accepting“Negative emotions does not mean something's wrong.”“Emotions are important information, but they don't make the final decision.”Are your emotions making the decision?Curiosity in order to bring softness and nurture.Practice daily regulation: Set a personal cue (e.g., getting in the car) to check in with your emotions.Embrace repair: "Making mistakes in parenting is inevitable—what matters is how you repair them."Parenting is about progress, not perfection. "Every small shift you make has a ripple effect on your child's well-being."Pam King's Key TakeawaysWe're inherently wired for connection, and our brains store all of our relational history.Rupture is inevitable, but our capacity for repair can strengthen our bonds with each other when we make the effort to reconnect.Thriving involves and integrates all our most intense emotions. We get closer to thriving when we can learn to regulate and integrate our inner emotional experience.Attuning and paying attention to our nervous system is a core emotional and relational skill—and goes a long way in healthy, intimate relationships.We were all children once. We were all parented, for better or for worse. Learning to integrate every aspect of our relational history can keep us on the path to thriving.About Tina BrysonDr. Tina Bryson is an expert in applying interpersonal neurobiology and neuropsychology to maybe the most central part of human life: our closest, most intimate relationships. A bestselling co-author (with Dan Siegal) of THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD and NO-DRAMA DISCIPLINE, she has written several other books on parenting and the brain. Her latest book on the science of play came out in January 2025.Tina is a psychotherapist and the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection. She speaks and advocates widely, has appeared across media outlets like TIME Magazine, “Good Morning America,” Huffington Post,Redbook, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal.Her doctoral research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. But Tina emphasizes that before she's a parenting educator, or a researcher, she's a mom.Tina is an absolutely brilliant and motivating and encouraging communicator, breaking down the science of connection in a way that's clear, realistic, humorous, and immediately helpful.For more resources from Tina, including her books, and science-packed relationship tips, visit https://www.thecenterforconnection.org/ and tinabryson.com. About the Thrive CenterLearn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on X @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter About Dr. Pam KingDr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenConsulting Producer: Evan RosaSpecial thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.

The Virtual Couch
Anxious or Avoidant? Why Your Relationship Patterns Repeat & How to Change Them (Part 1)

The Virtual Couch

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 46:13 Transcription Available


Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone. In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment to current research demonstrating how people can actually change their relationship patterns. Through clinical examples and accessible explanations, Tony breaks down how early experiences with caregivers create blueprints that influence adult relationships - and more importantly, why these patterns can evolve. Tony explains how understanding attachment style connects to emotional maturity and self-awareness. Listeners will learn about different attachment patterns, how they manifest in daily life, and why these early-developed patterns aren't a reflection of personal failure - they emerged before conscious choice was possible. This episode provides the foundation for a deeper exploration of attachment style change and relationship transformation. For anyone dealing with trust issues, abandonment fears, or struggles with emotional intimacy, the discussion offers concrete insights into becoming more secure in relationships. Part 2 will delve into specific strategies for building secure attachments and showing up differently in relationships. As Tony often says, "You're not broken, you're human" - and humans have a remarkable capacity for growth. 00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 00:28 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 02:05 Personal Struggles and Emotional Growth 04:40 Podcast Updates and Future Plans 06:59 Introduction to Attachment Theory 10:06 The Strange Situation Experiment 12:28 Attachment Styles and Their Impact 17:25 Early Childhood and Relationship Templates 21:04 Avoidant Attachment in Adulthood 22:07 The Painful Dance of Intimacy 23:52 The Role of Fathers in Attachment 24:37 Presence and Radiance: A Father's Influence 26:18 Emotional Safety and Consistency 29:31 Navigating Emotions and Independence 39:53 Challenges of Absent Fathers 44:12 Healing Attachment Wounds 44:33 Conclusion and Next Steps Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

We Should Talk About That
The Good Mother Myth with Nancy Reddy

We Should Talk About That

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2025 53:25


Send me a Text Message about the show!What does it mean to be a "good" mother?  And who determines those measures?  Nancy Reddy joins me for a conversation about motherhood.  Her new book, "The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom" is part memoir, part research based, and ALL thought provoking.  -What are the four major myths that contribute to an impossible standard for a mother to uphold?  We talk about that.-What were the major researchers on motherhood; Dr Spock, Harry Harlow, John Bowlby, etc like as parents?  We talk about that.-What do we need to do to de-bunk these myths and start supporting ourselves and other moms and dads better?  We talk about that.It's a fantastic, authentic, and vulnerable conversation.  My favorite kind.Nancy Reddy is the author of The Good Mother Myth, published by St. Martin's Press in January 2025. Her previous books include the poetry collections Pocket Universe and Double Jinx, a winner of the National Poetry Series. With Emily Pérez, she's co-editor of The Long Devotion: Poets Writing Motherhood. Her essays have appeared in Slate, Poets & Writers, Romper, The Millions, and elsewhere. She writes the newsletter Write More, Be Less Careful and teaches writing at Stockton University. https://www.nancyreddy.com/Also mentioned in this episode:Mother Brain: https://www.chelseaconaboy.com/Support the showKeep up with all things WeSTAT on any (or ALL) of the social feeds:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/westatpod/Threads: https://www.threads.net/@westatpodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/westatpod/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/westatpod/Twitter: https://x.com/WeSTATpodHave a topic or want to stay in touch via e-mail on all upcoming news?https://www.westatpod.com/Help monetarily support the podcast by subscribing to the show! This is an easy way to help keep the conversations going:https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/supporters/new

Locura compartida
Succession - Dinámicas familiares disfuncionales

Locura compartida

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2025 66:46


Acercarse a la familia Roy tiene un coste. Inicialmente implica un esfuerzo y, sin darte cuenta, de repente estás inmerso en ese mar de vilezas y vulnerabilidades que a nivel espectador te rompen un poco. No era fácil realizar un análisis de una familia tan compleja, pero separando los elementos principales conseguimos aportar un poco de luz a lo que les sucede a los descendientes de Logan Roy. Con Salvador Ruiz Murugarren hablamos de apego, de personalidad narcisista, de trauma intergeneracional y de la riqueza material versus la riqueza emocional, entre otras cuestiones. Locura compartida con Salvador Ruiz Murugarren. NOTAS DEL PODCAST Os dejo un artículo científico del psiquiatra Pablo Malo sobre la personalidad y el ambiente. Sobre el apego, el amor y las relaciones materno filiales dejo otro artículo sobre Harry Harlow. Y ⁠este artículo⁠ sobre John Bowlby. AGRADECIMIENTOS Locuciones: Estela Prádanos, Nuria Caicoya y Juan Ochoa Intervención: Jaime García Cantero

Do you really know?
What are the four types of attachment in our relationships?

Do you really know?

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2024 4:29


The types of attachment were theorized by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s. They are widely used to help us understand how we react to situations in our relationships, whether it be with romantic partners, friends or family members.   Bowlby relied on research on the impact of early separations between infants and their mothers, and emphasized the importance of attachment relationships in the social and emotional development of children, as well as their long-term mental health. What exactly is an attachment style? And what about the other two types? In under 3 minutes, we answer your questions ! To listen to the latest episodes, click here: Why are we obsessed with presenteeism? What is the snowball method of paying back debt? What is PimEyes, the powerful tool ending online anonymity? A Bababam Originals podcast written and realised by Joseph Chance. First Broadcast: 28/5/2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Codependent Doctor
Exploring the Impact of Attachment Styles

The Codependent Doctor

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2024 24:18 Transcription Available


Unlock the secrets of your relationship dynamics  as we take a deep dive into the world of attachment styles. Ever wondered why some relationships feel secure while others are filled with uncertainty? Join us as we explore the foundations laid by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, tracing how our earliest bonds with caregivers shape our adult connections. Discover how understanding these patterns can empower you to break free from generational cycles and foster healthier, more secure attachments. This episode offers not just insights but a promise of transformation, guiding you towards more fulfilling relationships and a deeper sense of self-awareness.As we journey through the intricacies of secure and anxious attachment styles, you'll find yourself reflecting on your own relationship patterns. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we shed light on emotional intelligence and the importance of self-awareness as cornerstones of personal growth. Whether you're navigating the emotional roller coaster of an anxious attachment or striving for the balance of a secure one, this discussion promises to enhance your understanding and inspire positive change. Remember, self-improvement is a continuous journey, and while this podcast provides guidance, seeking professional help when necessary is crucial. Tune in for an episode that's both enlightening and empowering, and embark on a journey towards healthier, more balanced connections.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

La teoria de la mente
La perdida del Wifi emocional y John Lennon

La teoria de la mente

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2024 18:47


¡Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de La Teoría de la Mente! Hoy nos embarcamos en una profunda reflexión sobre los vínculos afectivos, la desconexión, y nuestra constante búsqueda de amor y pertenencia. Inspirándonos en la conmovedora canción "Mother" de John Lennon, exploramos los lazos que nos unen a nuestras figuras de apego, aquellos que nos trajeron al mundo y que dejan una huella indeleble en nuestra vida emocional. John Lennon nos habla del dolor de la pérdida, de su madre, Julia, y de su padre, Alfred, que lo abandonó en la infancia. A través de su desgarradora experiencia, John Lennon nos invita a reflexionar sobre los vínculos rotos, la infancia y la necesidad de afecto. Este tema nos lleva a una exploración más amplia sobre cómo estas primeras relaciones con nuestros cuidadores influyen en nuestra vida adulta. Hacemos un recorrido por la teoría del apego de John Bowlby, que explica cómo los diferentes tipos de apego —seguro, evitativo, ambivalente y desorganizado— moldean la manera en que nos relacionamos con los demás. Esta teoría, aplicada por expertos como Cindy Hazan y Phillip Shaver a las relaciones amorosas adultas, sigue siendo un marco de referencia clave para comprender nuestros patrones emocionales y conductuales en las relaciones. Además, reflexionamos sobre cómo, en momentos de vulnerabilidad extrema, muchas personas regresan a esos lazos primarios, buscando consuelo en figuras de apego, como lo sugiere el trabajo del psiquiatra Bessel van der Kolk sobre el trauma. A medida que avanza el episodio, me pregunto sobre el sentido de pertenencia y seguridad que quizás todos anhelamos volver a sentir, como cuando estábamos en el útero materno. ¿Podría este deseo ser la raíz de muchas de nuestras frustraciones y ansiedades actuales? Por último, comparto mis propias reflexiones sobre cómo, a medida que envejecemos, nuestras conexiones con nuestros padres y con las generaciones más jóvenes cobran un nuevo significado. Como padre, es inevitable plantearse la complejidad de los vínculos, sin caer en el intento de etiquetar nuestras relaciones bajo una única teoría. Este episodio es una invitación a abrazar la imperfección, a aceptar que los vínculos que formamos pueden evolucionar, y a seguir explorando nuestras conexiones emocionales, buscando siempre ese "wifi" que nos une a los que amamos. Títulos sugeridos: Vínculos y Desconexiones: Reflexiones Inspiradas en "Mother" de John Lennon Entre el Amor y el Apego: Lo que John Lennon Nos Enseña sobre el Vínculo Humano El Poder del Apego: John Lennon y los Lazos que Forman Nuestras Vidas Del Útero al Mundo: Reflexiones sobre el Apego y el Amor Amor, Desconexión y Apego: Un Viaje desde "Mother" de John Lennon Descripción corta: En este episodio de La Teoría de la Mente, exploramos los vínculos afectivos y cómo nuestras primeras experiencias de apego influyen en nuestras relaciones adultas. Inspirados en la canción "Mother" de John Lennon, reflexionamos sobre la pérdida, la desconexión y la búsqueda del amor, revisando la teoría del apego y el impacto emocional que tiene en nuestras vidas. ¡No te lo pierdas! Keywords: vínculos afectivos, John Lennon, Mother, teoría del apego, John Bowlby, Cindy Hazan, Phillip Shaver, Bessel van der Kolk, trauma emocional, apego seguro, apego evitativo, apego ambivalente, apego desorganizado, relaciones familiares, pérdida de la madre, desconexión emocional, patrones de apego, relaciones amorosas, psicología infantil, educación emocional, vínculos primarios, figuras de apego, podcast psicología, podcast emocional, reflexión sobre el apego, búsqueda del amor, AMADAG TV Hashtags: #VínculosAfectivos #TeoríaDelApego #JohnLennon #ReflexionesEmocionales #RelacionesHumanas #PodcastPsicología Enlaces Importantes: Visita nuestra página web: http://www.amadag.com Nuestro nuevo libro: www.elmapadelaansiedad.com Nuestra escuela de ansiedad: www.escuelaansiedad.com YouTube - Amadag TV: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC22fPGPhEhgiXCM7PGl68rw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amadag.psico/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Asociacion.Agorafobia/

Maintenant, vous savez
Quels sont les 4 types d'attachement dans les relations ?

Maintenant, vous savez

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2024 4:28


"Maintenant Vous Savez" c'est également deux autres podcasts qui décryptent la culture avec "Maintenant Vous Savez - Culture" et la santé avec "Maintenant Vous Savez - Santé". Quatre fois par semaine, nous vous proposons de découvrir les meilleurs épisodes.  Ils sont très utilisés pour vous aider à comprendre vos réactions en amour ou en amitié. Les types d'attachements ont été théorisés par le psychologue britannique John Bowlby dans les années 50. Il s'est appuyé sur des recherches autour de l'impact des séparations précoces entre les nourrissons et leurs mères. Il a souligné l'importance des relations d'attachement dans le développement social et émotionnel des enfants, ainsi que sur leur santé mentale à long terme. C'est quoi exactement un style d'attachement ? Quels sont-ils alors ? Comment connaître son type d'attachement ? Écoutez la suite de cet épisode de "Maintenant vous savez". Un podcast Bababam Originals, écrit et réalisé par Olivia Villamy Date de première diffusion : 26 mai 2023 À écouter aussi : Qu'est-ce que l'effet Roméo et Juliette ? Pourquoi dit-on que l'amour dure trois ans ? Qu'est-ce que le syndrome de Bonnie et Clyde ? Retrouvez tous les épisodes de "Maintenant vous savez". Suivez Bababam sur Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

POV With Dom
Are you Anxious/Avoidant? This is how to become Secure. (Attachment Styles)

POV With Dom

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2024 23:45


Are you Anxious in connections? Avoidant to your current partner? Perhaps you're not moving from a place of a Secure attachment style. Today's episode, we are diving into the findings of Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby. After reading the book 'Attached' and going through my own relationship turbulence, I have learnt about attachment styles more deeply, and would love to share my findings with you. How to heal your anxious attachment style is a commonly asked question, and in today's episode, I am sharing my own, or others', tips and tricks to moving toward a Secure attachment style. I hope it helps! See you all next week, Dom x

Zo Williams: Voice of Reason
Temporary People Teach Permanent Lessons

Zo Williams: Voice of Reason

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2024 82:05


In delving into the concept of "temporary people teaching permanent lessons," it is essential to consider the interconnected teachings of various spiritual and psychological luminaries. The idea that everyone we encounter in our lives, particularly in romantic relationships, serves as a mirror reflecting back our internal wounds and unresolved issues is a profound one. This mirrors the work of relationship experts such as Ross Rosenberg and John Bowlby, who emphasize the impact of childhood attachment styles on our adult relationships.

Zo Williams: Voice of Reason
The Partially Open Book

Zo Williams: Voice of Reason

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2024 77:50


In the labyrinth of human relationships, the extent to which we reveal or conceal our past experiences can profoundly shape the quality of our connections. This essay explores the intricate dynamics of being a "partially open book" in intimate relationships, drawing from the insights of renowned thinkers such as Krishnamurti, Dr. David R. Hawkins, Robert Anton Wilson, Babette Rothchild, Thomas Campbell, Iyanla VanZant, Amit Goswami, Queen Afua, Eckhart Tolle, Ross Rosenberg, Wayne Dyer, Paramahansa Yogananda, John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Sri Yukteswar, and others.

First-Plymouth Church's Podcast
Finding a Secure Base - July 28, 2024 - Pastor Jim Keck - Sermon

First-Plymouth Church's Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2024 17:26


In his 1988 publication A Secure Base, British child psychologist John Bowlby wrote "life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base." One must develop a secure base that gives yourself the ability be original and take daring ventures with your work and life. Using the call of Matthew as a disciple, Dr. Jim Keck will talk about what can function as a secure base that enables our lives to be more adventurous.

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown
314. The Formative Power of Attachment (Fewer But Deeper Series: Part 3) (Replay)

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 29:55


Join me as I explore the transformative power of building deep, meaningful connections in our lives, especially poignant in an age where superficial online interactions are often mistaken for genuine relationships. I reflect on Erik Newton's heartfelt Twitter story about the profound love he shared with his late wife, revealing the timeless truth that at life's end, it's the depth of our relationships that truly matters. This touching narrative serves as a profound reminder of the importance of fostering and nurturing our most significant relationships, and how they shape the legacy of love we leave behind. I also discuss the insights of early psychologists and the groundbreaking work of British psychiatrist John Bowlby, who pioneered the concept of attachment theory. The historical journey from the 18th century to Bowlby's 20th-century research, including the Strange Situation experiment and Harry Harlow's primate studies, illuminates the critical need for emotional connections in our development. This conversation underscores the essential nature of these bonds for our psychological well-being, urging us to prioritize and deepen our connections with those who are important to us. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 2- Activation Points: Managing Conflict and Intimacy Through Attachment Theory

Roadmap to Secure Love

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 24:07


Welcome to the Roadmap to Secure Love, where we dive deep into the fundamentals of attachment theory and its transformative impact on relationships.In this enlightening episode, hosts Kim and Kyle explore the complex world of attachment theory, offering viewers a comprehensive guide to understanding why we behave the way we do in relationships, especially during moments of conflict or intimacy. They discuss the historical roots of the theory, introduced by psychologist John Bowlby, and how these principles have evolved to help us navigate our closest bonds.Key Challenges Discussed:Recognizing and understanding the underlying causes of relationship conflicts.Dealing with primal responses such as withdrawal or confrontation under stress.The difficulty in changing ingrained behavioral patterns rooted in childhood.Key Takeaways:A clear explanation of attachment theory and its relevance in modern relationships.Practical strategies for improving intimacy and connection based on your attachment style.Insights into how childhood experiences influence adult relationships and how understanding this can lead to healing and improvement.Whether you're struggling in your personal relationships, seeking to understand your partner better, or simply interested in personal growth, this episode provides valuable insights and tools to help foster more secure and fulfilling connections.Don't forget to like, comment, and follow for more insightful content from Healing Moments Counseling. Share this episode with anyone who might benefit from a deeper understanding of how attachment shapes our lives. Visit us at HealingMomentsCounseling.net for resources, advice, and personal counseling opportunities.Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

The Blueprint
Ep. 84 Disorganized Attachment with Talia Bombola, LMFT

The Blueprint

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 11:26


Understanding Disorganized Attachment with Talia Bombola, LMFT | The Blueprint Podcast Description: In this insightful episode of The Blueprint Podcast, host Jason Smith welcomes licensed marriage and family therapist Talia Bombola to discuss the complexities of disorganized attachment. Talia provides a deep dive into this often misunderstood attachment style, drawing from her extensive training in psychoanalysis and her therapeutic practice. Key Topics Discussed: Introduction to Disorganized Attachment: Talia explains the origins and characteristics of disorganized attachment, referencing the foundational research of Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby. Impact of Childhood Experiences: A detailed exploration of how chaotic and alarm-inducing interactions with primary caregivers shape disorganized attachment, highlighting the prevalence and consequences of such experiences. Behavioral Manifestations: Understanding the unique push-pull dynamics in relationships and the psychological defenses that individuals with disorganized attachment develop to cope with childhood trauma. Comparison with Other Attachment Styles: Differentiating disorganized attachment from avoidant and anxious attachment styles, focusing on the absence of consistent caregiving models and the resulting relational patterns. Challenges in Relationships: Discussing the difficulties faced by individuals with disorganized attachment in forming secure, healthy relationships and the potential for relationship sabotage driven by unresolved trauma. Therapeutic Approaches: Insight into effective therapeutic strategies for managing and healing disorganized attachment, including the importance of therapy in achieving earned secure attachment. Personal and Relational Growth: Emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and therapeutic support in overcoming disorganized attachment and fostering healthier relational dynamics. Join Jason and Talia as they navigate the intricate world of disorganized attachment, providing valuable perspectives for anyone looking to understand this attachment style better, whether for personal insight or professional development. Subscribe & Follow: Don't miss out on future episodes of The Blueprint Podcast! Subscribe and follow us on YouTube for more expert insights and engaging discussions. Connect with Us: Host: Jason Smith Guest: Talia Bombola, LMFT Social Media Links: Follow The Blueprint Podcast on Instagram, and Facebook. Contact Us: Have questions or topics you'd like us to cover? Reach out through my Stan Store! Disclaimer: The training is intended for informational and educational purposes, it is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, and/or treatment. Please consult your medical professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, medical regimen, lifestyle, and/or mental health care. Your background, education, experience, and work ethic may differ. There is no guarantee of success. Individuals do not track the typicality of its student's experiences. Your results may vary. https://988lifeline.org/

The Addicted Mind Podcast
TAM+ 23 Healing Through Connection: Understanding Attachment in Recovery

The Addicted Mind Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 20:09


In this episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, Duane and Eric Osterlind delve into the concept of attachment and its critical role in recovery from addiction. They discuss the different types of attachment styles—secure, anxious, dismissive, and fearful—and how these styles impact our ability to form healthy relationships. By understanding your attachment style, you can improve your relationships and strengthen your recovery journey. Tune in to learn how early childhood attachments shape your adult life and get practical tips to build better connections. Join us for a deeper dive into this powerful topic and find out how you can take actionable steps towards healing. Download: ATTACHMENT & RECOVERY worksheet Join Our Deep Dive, where we discuss this episode in depth. Register here: theaddictedmind.com/deepdive Key Topics - The importance of understanding attachment in addiction recovery. - Different attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive, and fearful. - How early childhood experiences shape adult relationships. - Practical tips for improving relationship skills in recovery. - The connection between attachment styles and forming a supportive community. Timestamps 1. [00:02:01] - Introduction to the importance of attachment in recovery. 2. [00:05:00] - Historical background of attachment theory by John Bowlby. 3. [00:07:00] - Explanation of secure attachment. 4. [00:08:05] - Anxious or preoccupied attachment style. 5. [00:09:40] - Dismissive attachment and its impact on relationships. 6. [00:11:00] - Fearful avoidant or disorganized attachment. 7. [00:13:00] - Stan Tacken's perspective on attachment styles. Follow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He Said She Said Counseling
Attachment Series Part 1: Foundations of Emotional Bonds in Relationships

He Said She Said Counseling

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 26:35


Purchase Relationship Renovation at Home Online Course.What are the different attachment styles, and how do they impact relationships?How can understanding your attachment style help improve your relationship?What practical steps can couples take to build secure attachment?Tarah and EJ embark on the first part of a transformative three-part series focused on attachment theory. This episode dives into understanding your individual attachment style, which may be causing dysfunction in your relationships. Tarah and EJ discuss the origins of attachment theory from John Bowlby's research and break down the four primary attachment types: secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful disorganized. With 50% of the population falling into the secure attachment category, it leaves many wondering about the 50% who don't. Relationship Renovation YoutubeContact UsSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas
Stress, Anger & Sadness in the Addiction Process

Meditation x Attachment with George Haas

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 79:03


Sign up for the Meditation x Addiction Workshop on June 21st - ⁠⁠click here.⁠ You'll learn about the Meditation x Addiction approach to substance use disorders. It's an effective strategy for relapse prevention and we'll introduce you to how students address addiction through the attachment lens. You'll learn about the four modules that are the next step in this journey: craving and urging; stress, anger and depression; persistent negative emotions; and difficult interpersonal relationships. You'll understand how this evidence-based system combines ongoing meditation practice, the relapse pattern theory of G. Alan Marlatt, PhD and John Bowlby's psychological model of Attachment Theory.

Healing Hearts: Parenting with Purpose-Support for Resilient Families, Support for Parents, Childhood Trauma Advocacy

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Sophia Mills and Sofia Scher interview Dr. Michelle Alden. Dr. Alden is a parent coach, licensed professional counselor in Idaho, and author. She has developed a program used in Idaho to help parents who have youth with severe behavior and mental health issues. Dr. Alden's passion is helping adoptive families to work through the challenges. She have  worked with at-risk kids for more than 20 years, the last 10 years specifically in the homes and coaching parents navigate difficult situations directly in their homes. Dr. Alden's believes, like John Bowlby - an attachment expert - said, "if we love children, we must cherish their parents." Dr. Alden wants to empower parents to parent and a key is giving the parents the tools and skills they need to help their children to work through and overcome the challenges they are facing. She offers parents the skills they need to build a bridge to the family they want and be in charge in their home and with their children. GUEST INFORMATION/LINKS:Main Website: healthyfoundations.co (not .com)Coaching resources: parentingchallengingkids.comBook: Parenting Emotionally Distressed KidsThe Playroom for Parents (entry level parent coaching group)Courses for professionals and parents with ADHD KidsThe Parenting Bridge podcastSocial MediaFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/HealthyFoundationsFamilyProgramInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyfoundationsfp/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@healthyfoundations7631LindedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-michelle-alden-24558656

Psychotherapy Central
EP 31 Understanding Avoidant Attachment Behaviours

Psychotherapy Central

Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2024 16:37


When you possess an avoidant attachment style, you might find that your voice grows louder in moments of distress, and you may become critical or demanding. This tendency can often lead you to focus predominantly on the negatives within your relationship, making it difficult to recognize positive aspects unless the relationship ends. Interestingly, these behaviors are often subconscious strategies aimed at creating a sense of safety, yet they can inadvertently distance you from your partner. This may leave you questioning why you react so and wondering if something is fundamentally wrong with you. It's important to understand that there is nothing wrong with you. Your behaviors are adaptations from your childhood experiences, which can be addressed and healed. If you ever feel perplexed by your actions and reactions, I encourage you to listen to this episode. Enjoy! Jen Resources: To learn more about the basics of attachment theory, listen to Episode 1. EP1 - Five Things You Need to Know About Attachment Theory https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/podcasts/psychotherapy-central/episodes/2148037195 To learn more about the basics of avoidant attachment, listen to Episode 2. EP 2 - Avoidant Attachment Explained https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/podcasts/psychotherapy-central/episodes/2148041419 Extra Resources Attachment theory by John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth & Main & Solomon One-on-one Therapy Sessions with Jen or her Team: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/bookings Meet Your Inner Child Course: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/meet-your-inner-child-registration FREE TRAINING: I'll take you through the three stages of transformation: Discovery, Healing and Growth. We will explore Attachment Styles, and I'll share with you three things you can do to help you have more effective conflicts that don't deteriorate into relationship killers: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/cycle-breaker-registration Also, join Jen in her exclusive online program to help you heal from an insecure attachment style and break repeating patterns in your relationships: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/rcb-registration Browse Jen's suite of online courses: https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/store Connect on socials: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychotherapy.central • Facebook: https://facebook.com/psychotherapy.central • Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@psychotherapycentral • Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com.au/psychotherapycentral • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-nurick-psychotherapist

Therapy4Dads
Understanding Attachment Theory: Types, Impact, and Healing Strategies

Therapy4Dads

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2024 11:43


Hey everybody - Travis here - today I am excited to dive into a foundational concept in psychology that's pivotal for personal growth and relationships - Attachment Theory! While we don't have a guest on today's episode, I will guide you through this enriching topic.In this episode, we're going to explore some fundamental areas:1. **Origins and Founders of Attachment Theory**: We delve into the mid-20th century work of British psychologist John Bowlby, often regarded as the father of attachment theory. Bowlby focused on the bond between the child and caregiver and how these early relationships impact emotional and psychological development throughout one's life. Plus, we'll discuss how Mary Ainsworth expanded on Bowlby's work with her famous Strange Situation experiment, which classified different attachment styles.2. **Types of Attachment Styles**: Understanding the four primary attachment styles - Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) - and how each style manifests in relationships and personal behavior. We'll also touch on how these styles influence conflict resolution and mental well-being.3. **Impact on Relationships and Mental Health**: How your attachment style affects your interactions, conflict management, and overall mental health. Securely attached individuals tend to have better stress management and healthier conflict resolution, while those with insecure attachment styles may struggle more in relationships and mental health scenarios.Challenge Question: Reflecting on your personal relationships, can you identify any patterns that point to a specific attachment style you may have? How do these patterns influence your interactions and conflict resolutions with loved ones?So grab a notebook, because you're going to want to take notes as we navigate this complex yet crucial aspect of personal development. And remember, understanding your attachment style can be the first step towards healing, growth, and more fulfilling relationships.SUPPORT THE SHOW:CLICK HERE!JOIN THE MAILING LIST & GET INVOLVED!CLICK HERE: MAILING LISTWATCH ON YOUTUBE:WATCH HEREConnect and Support Travis:YouTube: Travis GoodmanInstagram: @integratedmanprojectCheck out the Website: TBD

Faites des gosses
Est-on obligé d'aimer ses frères et sœurs?

Faites des gosses

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2024 37:29


Ils se chamaillent, se tirent les cheveux, cassent les jouets les uns des autres, hurlent à plein poumons dès qu'il s'agit de partager un gâteau, un vêtement, l'oxygène de leur chambre… Désemparé·e, vous observez vos enfants, avec le vain espoir de les voir s'entendre avec le temps. Qu'est-ce qui fait que les relations frères-soeurs, ça marche, ou ça ne marche pas ? Vous qui écoutez cet épisode, vous êtes peut-être des parents qui avez des frères et sœurs, mais potentiellement aussi des parents de plusieurs enfants, qui s'entendent, qui se font la guerre ou qui s'indiffèrent. Et finalement, est-ce que c'est bien grave ? Après tout, est-on vraiment obligé·e d'aimer ses frères et sœurs ?Dans cet épisode, Marine Revol discute avec Olivia Troupel, Docteure et Maître de Conférences en psychologie de l'enfant à l'Université de Toulouse Jean-Jaurès pour comprendre comment se tissent les relations fraternelles et leur influence sur la socialisation des enfants. Elle fait entendre les témoignages de Lila, Diane et Mélissa où la concurrence, le handicap et les bouleversements familiaux redéfinissent les liens dans la fratrie. Ensemble, elles analysent les conditions structurelles et les nuances de l'affection fraternelle, entre coopération, jalousie, admiration, rancoeur et indifférence, de camembert à partager et de parts de melon, pour tenter de comprendre pourquoi on s'entend parfois avec ses frères et sœurs, et parfois non.Pour aller plus loin : Le livre “S'adapter” de l'écrivaine Clara Dupond Monod (éditions Stock)L'article “A Subtle Shift Shaking Up Sibling Relationships” du magazine The AtlanticLes travaux du psychiatre et psychanalyse John Bowlby et sa théorie de l'attachement Faites des gosses est une production Louie Media, présentée par Marine Revol. Elle a écrit et tourné cet épisode. Il a été monté par Louise Tavera et réalisé par Anna Buy. La musique est de Jean Thévenin. La prise de son et le mix sont du studio La Fugitive. Elsa Berthault est en charge de la production.Un podcast réalisé avec le soutien d'evian® @evianbebe, l'eau des bébés et des parents depuis plus de 50 ans.evian® soutient les recommandations de l'OMS pour la promotion de l'allaitement maternel pendant les 6 premiers mois.On veut entendre vos enfants ! Si vous voulez participer à notre format spécial pour cet été, écrivez-nous à hello@louiemedia.com avec en objet “Questionnaire Faites des gosses” et on vous expliquera tout !Suivez Louie Media sur Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Et si vous souhaitez soutenir Louie, n'hésitez pas à vous abonner au Club. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

On Humans
40 | Mothers, Fathers, And The Many Myths We Have Held ~ Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

On Humans

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 59:12


Over half a century, Sarah Blaffer Hrdy has challenged many of our myths about parenting, attachment, and "human nature". In this conversation, we dive into her remarkable career, culminating in her new book, Father Time. [You can now order Father Time via Amazon or Princeton Uni Press] We discuss a variety of topics, from hunter-gatherer parenting to the limitations of comparing humans to chimpanzees. We also discuss "allomothers", attachment theory, and the tragedy of infanticide. We finish with a discussion on the remarkable social changes in fatherhood and the neuroscience that has enabled it. As always, we finish with Hrdy's reflections on humanity. Timestamps 04:15 Myths 10:11 Attachment Theory  20:53 Hunter-Gatherers 24:35 Modern Parenting  26:04 Infanticide  34:00 Monkey parenting (in South America) 36:10 Why we share  40:00 Husbands or aunties? 43:10 Father Brains ANNOUNCEMENT I'm writing a book! It is about the history of humans, for readers of all ages. Do you want access to early drafts? Become a member on Patreon.com/OnHumans⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS Want to support the show? Checkout ⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/OnHumans⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want to read and not just listen? Get the newsletter on ⁠⁠⁠⁠OnHumans.Substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ MENTIONS Terms: allomothers, mobile hunter-gatherers (i.e. immediate return foragers), matrilineal and patrilineal kin Names: Edward O. Wilson, Robert Trivers, John Bowlby, John Watson, Charles Darwin, Mary Ainsworth, Melvin Konner, Barry Hewlett, Nikhil Chaudhary (#34), Nancy Howell, Martin Daly, Margot Wilson, Amanda Reese, Judith Burkart, Carl Von Schaik, Alessandra Cassar, Ivan Jablonka, Kristen Hawkes (#6), Ruth Feldman (#3), Richard Lee

The Artist’s House International Podcast
40: What's Your Relationship Attachment Style? Discover Why You Love the Way You Do

The Artist’s House International Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2024 35:31


Join hosts Andrew and Lara as they delve into the intricate world of romantic relationship attachment styles. Unpacking the groundbreaking theories of psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, the duo explores how the quality of our early caregiver relationships shapes our intimate adult connections. Discover the four main romantic relationship attachment styles - secure, anxious, avoidant-dismissive, and disorganized - and learn how each influences how we navigate intimacy, trust, and conflict. Through engaging discussions and relatable stories, Andrew and Lara shed light on the complexities of our relationships, offering valuable insights into why we love the way we do. Whether seeking to understand your attachment style or enhance your relationships, this episode provides practical tips and strategies for building healthier, more fulfilling connections. Tune in to unlock the secrets of romantic attachment and embark on a journey towards deeper self-awareness and emotional growth. Listen to the full episode now.  To read the Healthy Wealthy Wise Artist podcast show notes, Head here Copy the URL: https://larabiancapilcher.com/2024/04/09/whats-your-relationship-attachment-style-discover-why-you-love-how-you-do/

The Vertue Podcast
#18 - Attachment Theory and your Health (Part 1 of 4)

The Vertue Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2024 38:16


Dive into "Attachment Theory and Your Health," where I uncover how early bonds shape our emotional and physical well-being. Starting with John Bowlby's innovative ideas, I explore the roots of attachment theory and its pivotal role in defining our relationships. Learn about the four attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized—and their profound effects on our health. Why does this matter? Understanding your attachment style can illuminate paths to better stress management, improved relationships, and overall mental health. I'll guide you through introspective questions tailored to each attachment style, designed to foster self-awareness and healing in your interpersonal connections. Join me for a journey to deeper self-understanding and healthier living, all through the lens of attachment theory. QUIZES - Crowell, Judith & Owens, Gretchen. (1996). Manual For The Current Relationship Interview And Scoring System. (This is more clinical and takes 90 minutes but is good for romantic relationships). Also a good resource: https://psychology.psy.sunysb.edu/attachment/ Another quiz here: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/ Other Sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6191372/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thevertuepodcast/message

Wednesdays with Watson
When the Innocent Suffer: Navigating Trauma and Restoration

Wednesdays with Watson

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 43:26 Transcription Available


Healing from the invisible wounds of childhood trauma is a journey many embark on, but few speak about with such candor and depth as we do on our podcast. Anchored by the emotionally resonant words of Antoine Fisher's poetry, our latest episode explores the profound effects of early adversities and the resilient spirit that can emerge in the face of such challenges. Drawing from my learnings in a recent class on adolescent and child psychology, I weave a narrative of hope and potential for recovery, inviting listeners to understand the complexities of trauma through a lens of compassion and knowledge.As we navigate the terrain of a child's psyche, we confront the developmental repercussions of trauma and its insidious ability to mold behaviors and relationships. The episode takes an earnest look at the significance of attachment styles rooted in the pioneering theories of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, uncovering the lasting impact of our formative bonds. Such discussions are not just academic; they serve as a beacon for those striving to comprehend their own life stories or seeking to support the vulnerable young souls around them.Concluding with a soul-stirring chapter on faith and hope, I reach out to listeners with reassurances of intrinsic worth and the promise of unwavering love. Sharing my own tales of survival and the life-affirming presence of Jesus, I aim to embolden you to find solace and strength within your own narrative. As we press pause on the conversation, remember that the threads of support and understanding are ever-present, ready to be picked up and woven into a tapestry of healing when we return. Join us as we continue to share heartfelt dialogues that shine light into the overlooked corners of our lives.You ARE:SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown
278. Strength in Belonging with Sue Johnson (Part 1)

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2024 38:43


Join us as we unravel the mysteries of love and attachment with the extraordinary Dr. Sue Johnson, a beacon in the field of psychology and the architect of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In our enlightening conversation, Dr. Johnson shares her insights on the crucial role of emotional connections and secure attachments for our well-being, taking us on a journey through the pivotal ideas of Dr. John Bowlby and the evolution of the science of love. Dr. Johnson's work shines a light on the misconception that attachment is a weakness, revealing it as the essence of our strength and resilience. We tackle the often misunderstood nature of relationship conflicts, revealing that the heart of many disputes is not the disagreement itself but the underlying emotional disconnection between partners. This episode promises to offer profound insights into how we can enhance our personal health, fortify our relationships, and embrace the untapped potential within our most cherished connections. Buy Sue's book Hold Me Tight. Visit Sue's website. Follow her on Instagram, and YouTube. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Write Your Legend
Dating A Woman With A Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style! (Make Her WANT You MORE)

Write Your Legend

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2024 13:02


Elevated Man Podcast with Apollonia Ponti  Dating A Woman With A Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style! (Make Her WANT You MORE) Do you feel like the woman you're dating is not fully there? Do you see that sometimes, when things get serious, she pulls away? If you ever see her doing the push and pull, but she is not fully committed, Then you might be dating a Fearful-Avoidant, Attachment-style woman. In this podcast episode, Apollonia Ponti delves into the intricacies of dating a woman with a fearful-avoidant attachment style, shedding light on strategies to enhance your appeal and foster a more profound connection while dating a fearful-avoidant attachment style woman.  Apollonia has worked with many clients to see a pattern in a man dating a fearful-avoidant woman.  However, by offering insights into the dos and don'ts of navigating a relationship with a woman exhibiting fearful-avoidant attachment tendencies, Apollonia provides valuable guidance on establishing and sustaining a lasting bond. She will give you essential advice for those currently dating a woman with a fearful-avoidant attachment style, including effective communication techniques to prevent unintentionally creating distance in the relationship. So, if you're struggling to date a woman with a fearful-avoidant attachment style, how do you know if you're dating a fearful-avoidant attachment style woman, and how do you finally open her up? Then, this is the podcast episode for you! Key points in this episode: 0:33 - Apollonia talks about the different attachment styles. But in today's podcast, she will discuss one attachment style: A fearful, Avoidant Attachment Style. 1:25 - A little background on the theory of Avoidant Attachment Style. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth tested their attachment theories by analyzing babies' earlier experiences. They saw a pattern of how they would develop later in life in personal growth and relationships. 1:50 - People with Secure Attachments are easy to show affection and interest. They uphold their values, exclude confidence, and, most importantly, set boundaries for people around them. 2:06 - What is an Avoidment Attachment style? Unlike Secure Attachment, they value independence. They hate the idea of being controlled or settling; this leads to unfilling or long-lasting relationships. 3:02 - You might see people with an Avoidment Attachment style holding on to friendships or relationships. However, they have one foot out the door, ready to leave when things get serious. 4:04 - They fear emotional and physical commitment and lash out when confined. They often do things alone and would rather not seek emotional support since they don't trust people. 4:18 - Like Avoidant Attachment, Anoxius Avoidant has some same qualities. They lack self-confidence, suppress their emotions and don't seek help. And unlike Avoidant Attachments, who like to do things alone, they would instead be alone to avoid getting hurt. 5:26 - To date someone with a Fearful, Avoidant Attachment style, you must know when and how to communicate your frustrations. When she promises to call or text and still doesn't, don't get mad, and send her a fury of texts immediately. Take a deep breath, relax, and then send your text. 6:08 - Communicate like adults. No demanding, no controlling the situation, talk. List your needs and wants, and listen to hers. 7:05 - Be patient with her. It's hard to do when she keeps pushing her away and wants to be alone. But remember, she likes to be alone to ease her anxiety. She needs time to think, sometimes requiring her to withdraw a bit. 7:50 - Tap into your empathy, but dont try to fix her. Understand her emotions and let her name her feelings. Support her, but don't push her. If you see that she doesn't want to express her feelings or change, except her or move on to another relationship. You can't change someone to fit your needs, but you can express your desires and wants. 9:31 - Respect their boundaries and maintain your independence. Sometimes, trying to rush the relationships and Fearful, Avoidant Attachment may try to run away at the sight of commitment. That's why giving her space is one way to make her know you respect her boundaries while maintaining yours. 10:47 - The most important thing to do when dating and fearful-avoidant attachment is not to be clingy. Picture this: you have a close friend who tries to cling to you and wants to know everything you do the whole day and every day. This can be overwhelming, so give her space. And she will go to you.  "I love Apollonia; her tips have helped me with my dating!"

EmPowered Couples Podcast | Relationships | Goal Setting | Mindset | Entrepreneurship
Understand Your Attachment Styles, Needs, and Behaviors: Episode 326

EmPowered Couples Podcast | Relationships | Goal Setting | Mindset | Entrepreneurship

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2024 30:02


Attachment is a key term and principle for relationships and refers to the way in which you bond and connect with your partner. The theory of Attachment Style has become much more popular in recent years from its conception by John Bowlby in 1969. Though many are familiar with the Secure and Insecure categorizations and the insecure types of avoidant, anxious, and fearful; people are not so familiar with the attachment needs and behaviors that are as critical.  All of this as a theory can feel very conceptual so in this episode you will hear even more depth about the attachment needs, and behaviors so that you can take more practical action to move in the direction of a secure relationship experience. Even if you are securely attached with your partner you will hear how to maintain this on a range of relationship confidence and trust.   Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice: The Family Meeting guide and tempaltes. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage guide      3. All of our resources are here.

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown
256. The Formative Power of Attachment (Fewer But Deeper Series: Part 3)

What's Essential hosted by Greg McKeown

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2023 27:55


Join me as I explore the transformative power of building deep, meaningful connections in our lives, especially poignant in an age where superficial online interactions are often mistaken for genuine relationships. I reflect on Eric Newton's heartfelt Twitter story about the profound love he shared with his late wife, revealing the timeless truth that at life's end, it's the depth of our relationships that truly matters. This touching narrative serves as a profound reminder of the importance of fostering and nurturing our most significant relationships, and how they shape the legacy of love we leave behind. I also discuss the insights of early psychologists and the groundbreaking work of British psychiatrist John Bowlby, who pioneered the concept of attachment theory. The historical journey from the 18th century to Bowlby's 20th-century research, including the Strange Situation experiment and Harry Harlow's primate studies, illuminates the critical need for emotional connections in our development. This conversation underscores the essential nature of these bonds for our psychological well-being, urging us to prioritize and deepen our connections with those who are important to us. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.