Survivor Sanctuary

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More than 20% of churchgoers are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, but sadly, church is the last place that most victims of abuse feel safe to go for help. I'm Kelly Downing, a survivor and advocate who wants to see that change. Survivor Sanctuary is a podcast for survivors of sexual abuse who ar…

Kelly Downing


    • Sep 12, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 41m AVG DURATION
    • 132 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Survivor Sanctuary podcast is a truly exceptional resource for abuse survivors and those seeking to understand and support them. Hosted by Kelly, a survivor herself, this podcast provides a safe space for survivors to share their stories, find healing, and gain much-needed validation. Kelly's speaking voice is engaging and soothing, making it easy to listen to the episodes and connect with the content on a deep level. The podcast tackles hard topics head-on, shedding light on the abuse that often occurs within church communities and the consequences that survivors face.

    One of the best aspects of The Survivor Sanctuary podcast is its ability to bring clarity and truth to survivors who are in need of it the most. Through sharing personal stories and insights, Kelly and her guests provide invaluable wisdom that resonates with listeners on their own healing journeys. The authenticity and vulnerability displayed by Kelly create a sense of trust and safety for survivors, allowing them to feel heard and understood. Additionally, this podcast goes beyond just providing support for abuse survivors; it also equips listeners with knowledge on how to help others who have experienced similar traumas.

    While this podcast excels in many ways, there are no significant shortcomings worth mentioning. However, it is important to note that the content discussed can be heavy and triggering for some individuals. It is recommended that listeners approach these episodes with caution if they are currently in a vulnerable state or not prepared emotionally.

    In conclusion, The Survivor Sanctuary podcast serves as a powerful platform for abuse survivors seeking guidance, validation, healing, and hope. Kelly's dedication to addressing taboo topics like sexual abuse within religious contexts helps break the silence surrounding these issues while offering valuable resources for those who want to support survivors but may not know how. This podcast is an essential listen for anyone looking to understand the impact of abuse while fostering a compassionate environment where healing can begin.



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    Latest episodes from Survivor Sanctuary

    Episode 131: Abused in Jesus' Name - A Chat with Donna Bibeau Herring (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2024 41:44


    On today's episode, we continue with author Donna Bibeau Herring as she shares how she broke away from her life of abuse and found healing and forgiveness for her abusers. RESOURCES: ⁠⁠Abused in Jesus' Name⁠⁠ Reach out to Donna at NanaDonna6@outlook.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 130: Abused In Jesus' Name - An Interview with Donna Bibeau Herring (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2024 42:04


    As a child, Donna was abused in some of the most heartbreaking ways possible, at the hands of her Christian family members. On today's episode of the podcast, we'll hear part one of my chat with Donna, as she delves into her story of abuse in Jesus' Name. RESOURCES: Abused in Jesus' Name Reach out to Donna at NanaDonna6@outlook.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 129: Worship and the... Child Molester with Pastor Robert Morris

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 55:05


    After decades of pretending he had an "extramarital affair," a victim has come forward to say that she was sexually abused by Robert Morris of Gateway Church beginning when she was just 12 years old, and continuing for nearly 5 years. RESOURCES: Pastor Robert Morris Resigns from Gateway Church Did the Gateway Elders Know He Molested a Child? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 128: Can Someone Please Glue John MacArthur's Mouth Shut? Asking for Survivors.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 43:42


    Just when I think John MacArthur couldn't possibly say anything worse than all the terrible things he's already said, he goes and surprises me. Recently, dear John stated publicly that mental health disorders aren't real, and that children who take medication for them may end up as drug addicts and criminals. On today's episode, we'll talk about why these comments are particularly harmful for survivors of sexual abuse. BECOME A PATRON! RESOURCES: John MacArthur Denies Mental Illness --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 127: One Church, Three Sexual Predators

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 35:04


    Ignite Life Center, an Assemblies of God Church in Gainesville, Florida, has been in the news since last summer due to repeated arrests for the sexual abuse of minors. So, how do three predators end up in the same church? We chat about it on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST! Want to share your story of church sexual abuse? RESURCES: Three Lawsuits Filed Against Ignite Life Center More Sexual Abuse Arrests Made at Ignite Life Center --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 126: Florida Keys SBC Pastor Arrested for Sexually Assaulting Teen Girl

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 29:08


    This story hits close to home, as in, just down the road from where I live. A Southern Baptist pastor in the Keys has been arrested after a 15-year-old girl says he plied her with alcohol and assaulted her on a couch inside the church. Even all the media scrutiny over the SBC's handling of sexual abuse, public outrage, lawsuits and the their focus on "Caring Well" doesn't seem to be deterring their leaders from sex crimes against children. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 125: Why Survivors Protect Their Abusers

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 41:17


    A common theme among survivors of clergy sexual abuse is victims feeling a responsibility to protect their abuser from being "found out." On today's episode, we're taking a look at Tammy Woods's open letter to Mike Bickle of IHOPKC, and tackling the question, why do abuse victims so often feel the need to protect the people who abuse them? BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST AND SUPPORT SURVIVOR SANCTUARY! RESOURCES: Open Letter to Mike Bickle from Alleged Victim Tammy Woods --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 124: Mike Bickle Accused of Sexually Abusing Girls Ages 14, 15

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 41:48


    The plot has thickened in the IHOP KC / Mike Bickle saga, with two women claiming that Bickle began sexually abusing them when they were only 14 and 15 years old, dating all the way back to the beginning of Bickle's ministry in the 1970s. Are we dealing with a "struggling" sheep, or a wolf who is struggling to keep his sheep's clothing from slipping? We chat about it on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON! RESOURCES: Woman Claims Mike Bickle Sexually Abused Her When She Was 14 3rd Woman Says Mike Bickle Sexually Abused Her, Beginning at 15 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 123: Paige and Andy Weber on International House of Prayer and Mike Bickle (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2024 43:08


    Today we're finishing up our chat with Andy Weber and Paige Weber, MA, MO-PLPC, EMDR, former staffers at International House of Prayer, where founder Mike Bickle has been accused by multiple women of grooming and sexual abuse. BECOME A PATRON! RESOURCES: The Roys Report Articles on Mike Bickle and IHOPKC --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 122: International House of Preyer? Andy and Paige Weber Share Insight on Mike Bickle and IHOP

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2024 45:28


    The allegations of sexual misconduct and abuse by International House of Prayer founder Mike Bickle keep piling up, and on today's episode, we chat with Andy Weber and Paige Weber, MA, MO-PLPC, EMDR, both of whom served on staff at IHOPKC in the past. Paige and Andy give valuable insight into the culture at IHOP that has led to the current situation making headlines. BECOME A PATRON! RESOURCES: Articles on IHOP from the Roys Report Videos from the Advocacy Group Mirror of Misconduct: How IHOPKC's Crisis Manager Embodied Image he was Hired to Fix --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 121: Were You Sexually Abused? The Answer May Surprise You

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2024 30:53


    It may seem like a no-brainer to a person who has never experienced sexual trauma, but whether your experience was actually sexual abuse can be a common question for survivors of sexual abuse. Today on the podcast, we'll define sexual abuse in its many forms, and help you determine the answer for yourself. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 120: Pastor Allegedly Hid Sexual Abuse, Hired Child Porn Defense Attorney to "Protect" Church's Children

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2024 62:10


    Surprise, surprise, another SBC pastor has been accused of covering up sexual abuse. But there is so much more to this story than the headlines may lead you to believe. You might have seen the recent news that staff members and deacons of Immanuel Baptist Church in Little Rock, Arkansas are alleging that their pastor, Dr. Steven Smith, failed to disclose the sexual abuse of children to the congregation. But that's just the start of this crazy story. This one has some pretty wild twists and turns, including the involvement of none other than Josh Duggar's child porn trial defense attorney. Sometimes I think church sex abuse cover ups can't get any crazier. Spoiler alert: they can. BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST! RESOURCES: SBC Megachurch Pastor Claims His Mishandling of Allegations Didn't Lead to ‘Further Abuse' Deacon of SBC Megachurch Calls for Pastor's Resignation Over Mishandled Sex Abuse Reports --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 119: Children are Now the Top Perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2024 33:44


    A decade ago, around 1/3 of all child sexual abuse offenses were committed. New statistics, however, show that number has dramatically increased, making children the top perpetrators of child sexual abuse. What gives? We chat about it on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON! RESOURCES: Children Now Biggest Perpetrators of Sex Abuse Against Children Over 90% Of Child Sexual Abuse Imagery is Self-Generated --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 118: No, Sexual Abuse Isn't Just Like Any Other Sin

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2023 41:25


    A sin is a sin is a sin, right? Or is it? On today's podcast we're discussing the distinction between "sin" and predation, and how sin-leveling contributes to perpetuating sexual abuse in the church. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    EPISODE 117: Sacred Wholeness: A conversation on Mind, Body and Soul Healing with Joshua Yoder Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2023 45:56


    On today's episode of the podcast, we finish our chat on the integration of mind, body and soul for sacred wholeness with Joshua Yoder ⁠BECOME A PATRON and JOIN THE CONVERSATION!⁠ ⁠Sacred Wholeness on Instagram --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    EPISODE 116: Sacred Wholeness: A conversation on Mind, Body and Soul Healing with Joshua Yoder

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2023 45:33


    On today's episode of the podcast, we chat with friend of the podcast, pastor, personal trainer and certified nutrition coach Joshua Yoder on the integration of mind, body and soul for sacred wholeness after sexual abuse. BECOME A PATRON and JOIN THE CONVERSATION! Sacred Wholeness on Instagram --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 115: The Silence of Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2023 43:56


    From the moment a child is abused, it seems the whole universe conspires to keep them silent. Whether internal or external, the voices that silence us are most often speaking from a place of shame. We'll chat about that shame, and how to recognize it, on today's episode. Become a Patron of the Podcast! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 114: Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Take a Page from the Church's Abuse Playbook

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2023 48:15


    Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Address Leniency Letters in Danny Masterson Rape Case Become a Patron of the Podcast! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 113: Sound of Freedom - If "Conspiracy Theorists" Want to Save Kids from Sex Slavery, Please Shut All the Way Up and Let Them

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2023 59:39


    On this episode of the podcast, Survivor Sanctuary goes to the movies! We're discussing some of the controversy surrounding the movie Sound of Freedom, and the lengths some people are going to discredit the film because they don't like Tim Ballard or Jim Caviezel's politics. Hey, if anyone involved in the making of the film (or the rescue of enslaved kids) voted for Donald Trump, it *must* have no redeeming qualities, right? And if someone on the alt right hates pedophilia, we should downplay its prevalence... right? Lest you think conservatives are off the hook here, we'll also talk about how this film is evoking outrage for oppressed children from a group that largely ignores the sexual abuse rampant in their own churches. Double standards, anyone? Join me as we annoy everyone from the right to the left on this episode of Survivor Sanctuary. (EDIT: I mention in the podcast that Tim Ballard rescued 200+ kids. That is the number of kids rescued in the specific operation that the movie details. Overall, Tim Ballard's organization is credited with rescuing over 3,000 children from human trafficking. Have a nice day.) Become a Patron of the podcast! http://patreon.com/survivorsanctuary Check out the website: http://www.survivorsanctuary.com Sound of Freedom: the QAnon-adjacent thriller seducing America QAnon Goes to the Movies - Slate Podcast --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    EPISODE 112: Artificial Intelligence and the Surge in Child Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2023 48:29


    Artificial intelligence is pretty incredible, and it's exploding in a big way. But experts are warning that AI could lead to an increase in real-life cases of child sexual abuse. Are AI-generated images of child sex abuse "victimless," or something more sinister? We chat about it on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST! RESOURCES: Artificial intelligence could help 'normalize' child sexual abuse ... AI-generated images of child sexual abuse are on the rise AI could worsen epidemic of child sexual abuse Predators Exploit AI Tools to Generate Images of Child Abuse --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 111: On Pastors Who Preach About Drag Queen Story Hour, But Ignore Sexual Abuse In The Church

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023 41:43


    Imagine the surprise of survivors everywhere when a pastor who has never had a word to say about sexual abuse in the church suddenly crafts an entire sermon series about the "grooming" of children... Well, don't get excited. These pastors haven't actually decided to begin caring about the endemic issue of sexual abuse in the church; no, they're simply using their platform and a faux concern for children to posture politically. We chat about it on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    EPISODE 110: We Are Not Powerless When It Comes To Sexual Abuse In The Church

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2023 45:02


    Sometimes it feels like the bad guys are winning, like there's nothing we can do to stop predators within the church. It's not like child molesters typically commit their crimes in front of multiple witnesses to make it easy on us. But before you give in to discouragement, there *are* still things that we can do to stop the men and women who wish to harm children. We are not powerless. We discuss on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST! CHECK OUT SURVIVORSANCTUARY.COM --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Selective Outrage: Chris Rock Just Defined the Church's Problem with Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2023 35:51


    Without meaning to, Chris Rock has pegged the evangelical church when it comes to sexual abuse. Selective Outrage isn't just his latest stand-up show, it's the actual definition of the church's pearl-clutching over "grooming" by "liberals", and dead crickets when it comes to sexual abuse being perpetrated in the church at an alarming rate by "christians." We chat about it on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON OF THE PODCAST! Check out survivorsanctuary.com! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    EPISODE 108: The Dalai Lama Reminds Me A Lot of My Childhood Abuser

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 34:55


    You may have seen the recent video of the Dalai Lama's creepy, disturbing behavior with a young boy. We discuss it, and how he took a page directly from my abuser's playbook, in today's episode. RESOURCES: Dalai Lama Asks Boy to Suck His Tongue BECOME A PATRON! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 107: Alleged Rapist Resigns, but Churchome Still Isn't Safe for Survivors

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2023 42:12


    After outcry in the media, alleged rapist Braylon Oliver has resigned from his position at Churchome. But is this a victory for survivors? And does it make Churchome safe? Hardly. We discuss on today's episode of Survivor Sanctuary. RESOURCES: Become a Patron! Former Pastor Accused of Rape Resigns --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 106: Churchome and Judah Smith Apparently Think It's "Fun" to Ask Victims to OK Hiring Their Alleged Rapists

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2023 46:50


    Yet again, a church is in the news for hiring a credibly accused rapist to its staff. The kicker in this case is that they ran it by the alleged victim-who was adamantly against it-and did it anyway, in a pretty callous/tone deaf/victim-discarding way. We discuss on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON! SurvivorSanctuary.com RESOURCES: Churchome Hires Alleged Rapist Over Victim's Objections --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 105: Grace To You... Unless You're Being Abused

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2023 53:16


    John MacArthur and Grace Community Church are back in the news for *checks notes* continuing to turn their backs on victims of abuse. While the Church is busy clutching their pearls over Sam Smith's devil costume at the Grammys, these same Christians are giving a pass to MacArthur, whose absolute refusal to show an ounce of humility makes Sam Smith look like the Pope. We chat about it, and Hohn Cho, the Good Samaritan who stood up for victims at great personal sacrifice, in today's episode. RESOURCES: Become a Patron of the Podcast! Grace Church Rejects Calls to Do Justice for Victims Former GCC Elder Confronts 'Awful Patterns' of Endangering Abuse Victims --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 104: The Myth of "Radical Grace"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 38:18


    Radical forgiveness. Radical grace. These buzz phrases get thrown around in Christianity, soaking survivors of sexual abuse in shame and letting predators off the hook. But are they actually scriptural? We discuss on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Accusations of Unforgiveness: Every Abuse Survivor's Battle

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 50:19


    It's probably happened to all of us: we share openly about the abuse we have experienced, and inevitably, someone's response is "you need to forgive." We unpack this lovely unforgiveness phenomenon in today's episode. Happy New Year! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 102: Steve Black on Facing Sexual Abuse Within the Family

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 61:36


    On this episode of the podcast, we're chatting with Steve Black of the Ezekiel 33 Project. Steve's daughter was abused by a family member when she was just 6 years old, and the lack of information available for parents going through what his family was going through at the time prompted him to start his own blog. Steve's story is so incredibly valuable to anyone who has experienced navigating sexual abuse within the family, and we're so thankful he has taken the time to join us today! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 101: Sexual Abuse and the Case for Digging Up the Past

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 40:18


    We've all been told at one point or another to leave the past in the past. But when it comes to sexual abuse, wading through the past is necessary for healing. On today's podcast, we'll discuss why it's important to carefully examine your past to keep it from growing into something unmanageable. Yes, the past can be uncomfortable or scary, but properly examining it can lead to freedom. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Happy 100TH Episode, Survivor Sanctuary! (Plus Some Big News!)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 22:56


    In celebration of the 100th episode of the podcast, we're excited to announce that Survivor Sanctuary is now on Patreon! You can become a patron of the podcast starting at $5 per month, and have access to exclusive content and rewards. Your support helps us keep shining a light on sexual abuse in the church, and it also unlocks premium content to help you grow as a survivor/advocate/ally. THANK YOU for your support of this podcast for the last 100 Episodes! RESOURCES: Survivor Sanctuary Patreon Page --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 99: Hunting Child Molesters on Tinder

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 35:34


    Did you hear about the woman who helped take down a child molester she met on Tinder? This story is a great reminder that an abuser can be anyone. We chat about it on today's episode of the podcast. RESOURCES: Woman Uses Tinder to Catch Child Molester --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 98: Surviving Sexual Abuse Or Playing the Victim?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2022 36:36


    Are survivors of sexual abuse "playing the victim" when they speak out about sexual abuse? There are plenty of people who think (and say) so. On this episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we'll talk about what it actually means to "play the victim" are have a "victim mentality," and how that relates to survivors. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 97: When Child Molesters Go Free (And Then Want To Follow Me On Twitter)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 37:17


    It's cute that the creepy ex youth leader who beat a rap for allegedly sexually assaulting a minor just followed me on Twitter. We chat about it on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Episode 96: Beware Harmful Advice from Survivors and Advocates

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2022 53:27


    We're used to hearing bad advice, platitudes and questionable opinions on surviving sexual abuse from people who have never experienced abuse themselves. But there's a disturbing trend among survivors and advocates who seem to believe that the only way to move on from abuse is to accept responsibility for the abuse you experienced, or accept that it was all a part of God's (or the Universe's) plan to help you grow. On today's episode, we'll chat about these harmful beliefs that are being shared, and remind everyone exactly why abuse happens and who is to blame. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Why Are Hardened Criminals More Enraged By Child Molesters Than The Church Is?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022 35:57


    The Department of Justice is investigating the Southern Baptist Convention for their decades of mishandling sexual abuse allegations. It may be easy to understand why the DOJ is concerned for the welfare of children, but what about the lowest of society's low? In today's episode, we'll chat about why it is that convicts appear to care more about stopping child molesters than our churches do. RESOURCES: Article: Prisoner Beats Two Child Molesters to Death Wife Shoots Husband Who Molested Kids DOJ Is Investigating the Southern Baptist Convention TAGS: church sexual abuse, church abuse, Shanteari Weems, James Weems, Jr., pedophiles, child molesters, victims, prison violence --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    When Mothers Side With Their Child's Abuser

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2022 42:50


    Is it a trauma response? A mental health disorder? What on earth would cause a mother to stay with and support a man who sexually abuses her kids? It happens more than we care to believe, and on today's episode we try to unpack what's going on when a mom chooses a sexual predator over her kids. ***ALL the trigger warnings*** --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Counterfeit Confessions: How Abusers Use DARVO to Turn Churches Against Victims

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2022 40:52


    Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender. It's a tactic used by many abusers to shame their victims and make them feel guilt over speaking out. But DARVO is also used to turn others--often entire religious communities--against the victim as well. Have you ever seen a congregation stand and applaud a man who has just confessed to sexual assault? Or witnessed church folks shaming a victim for speaking against a perpetrator? Odds are, it's DARVO at work. Today we'll chat about this favorite tactic of abusers and how to recognize it. RESOURCES: What Is DARVO and How is it Used Against Survivors --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Sexual Abuse Survivors and the Church's Phony Compassion for the Unborn

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 34:38


    With all the high-fives flying and churches celebrating in light of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, survivors of sexual abuse in the church may be left scratching their heads. Forgive us if we find the claims that the church cares deeply for the vulnerable disingenuous, but we've been under the table for decades practically begging for scraps of this supposed care and compassion--and we've been ignored or flat out stomped on. On today's episode of the podcast, we'll talk about pro life virtue signaling, and sit with a simple question: If you can't care for the vulnerable survivors who you see, how can you claim to care for the vulnerable unborn who you can't see? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    The One Time It's OK to NOT Believe Survivors of Sexual Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2022 35:07


    Believe survivors. We hear it often, and it's very important advice. But there's one time it's perfectly acceptable NOT to believe survivors... and that's when they tell you the abuse was their fault. On this episode we'll discuss how survivors of childhood sexual abuse often wrongly accept responsibility for part of their abuse because they are too early in their recovery to fully understand what they've experienced. Unfortunately, their belief that they are partly to blame is sometimes used against them later--once they realize the truth of their grooming and abuse. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Sheltered But Not Protected: A Chat with Justin Woodbury (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2022 38:03


    Today on the podcast we continue our chat with Justin Woodbury of the blog and book, Sheltered But Not Protected. RESOURCES: Sheltered But Not Protected --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Sheltered But Not Protected: A Chat with Justin Woodbury (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 37:30


    Today on the podcast we are chatting with Justin Woodbury of the blog and book, Sheltered But Not Protected. Justin shares his experience of surviving sexual and spiritual abuse in the IFB. RESOURCES: Sheltered But Not Protected --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Josh Duggar Keeps Telling His Family Who He Is. So Why Do They Refuse To Believe Him?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 32:52


    They say your character is who you are when nobody is watching. So why is it that Christians have so much trouble believing that people caught abusing children are depraved, dangerous and better off in prison? If you've been following the Josh Duggar trial, you may have read the letters that Michelle Duggar, Anna Duggar and Josh's pastor sent to the judge to beg for leniency in sentencing. They listened in court as horrifying details of the sex abuse materials Josh was viewing were recounted, yet still plead for a light sentence based on Josh's "godliness" and Christian character. When Christians are shown someone's true character, why do we have so much trouble believing them? We'll talk it out on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    No, Mega Churches Are Not The Problem

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2022 35:27


    It's always easier to find fault with "that church over there," but when it comes to sexual abuse, it's important to understand that it can happen *anywhere*. On today's episode we'll chat about the recent scandals that have mega churches in the spotlight--and why we can't blame them for the problem of sexual abuse in the church. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    The Importance of Understanding That An Abuser Can Be Anyone

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2022 34:48


    "You think everyone is an abuser." It's a comment I've heard more than once in my work as an advocate, and in everyday life as a survivor of sexual abuse. On today's episode, we chat about the accusation, and discuss the difference between believing everyone is an abuser and believing that an abuser *can be* anyone. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    On Christians Who Are More Bothered By Transgender Athletes Than Pedophile Pastors

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2022 37:05


    Turning Red, Disney World PA greetings, transgender athletes... what are we protesting this week, church? Besides child molesters in our pulpits, because apparently that one is totally OK. On this episode, we'll discuss the church's unscriptural obsession with judging "the world," and the biblical exhortation to judge those inside the church. Tags: Bill Bjorkman, Calvary Chapel, sexual abuse, pedophiles, child molesters, church abuse, turning red, Lia Thomas, Disney --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    No One Has Been Hurt By Church More Than Jesus (And Other Hot Takes Pastors Should Stop Sharing On Facebook)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2022 34:19


    It's always fun when a spiritual leader teaches theology-by-meme on social media. And by fun, I mean obnoxious. There are some quotes and memes floating around on Facebook these days that are aimed at people who apparently don't spend enough time in a church building. And as memes tend to do, they vastly oversimplify what can be a highly complex lived experience for survivors of spiritual, psychological and sexual abuse within the church. On this episode, we'll tackle why a growing number of people no longer feel safe in a church building, and how social media one-liners from "men of God" only serve to further alienate them from the fellowship of believers. Content Warning: In this episode, we discuss sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, church abuse, unsafe pastors, unsafe churches, sexual assault, rape, child molestation --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    Indonesian School Principal Sentenced to Death for Sexual Abuse of Students (America, Take Notes)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2022 40:11


    On today's episode, we discuss the former boarding school principal who was sentenced to death in Indonesia this week for his sexual abuse of at least 13 students between the ages of 11 and 14. Is the death penalty appropriate for child predators? And as survivors, how do we navigate the guilt we often feel for "telling on" our abusers, especially if their lives could be on the line? RESOURCES: Indonesian Principal Sentenced to Death for Raping 13 Girls Survivor Sanctuary Website --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    On John MacArthur, Churches That Support Abusers, and the "Worldliness" of Child Protection

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2022 30:50


    On this episode, we chat about the controversy surrounding John MacArthur, and a church culture that insists protecting women and children from abusers is "worldly." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

    No, Healing Is Not The "Responsibility" of Sexual Abuse Survivors

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2022 39:11


    You may have seen the "inspirational" quote floating around online: Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. Well, on today's episode, we'll discuss why admonishments like this are a slap in the face to survivors of sexual abuse. RESOURCES: Trauma is Not Your Fault, Period. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/survivorsanctuary/support

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