The Thriveology Podcast For Thrive Nation

Good intentions pave a road to nowhere good… right?  But why is it that even our best of intentions, our best plans, do not get us the results we want?  Why is it that we stall out (assuming we even get a good start)? It turns out that success (and thriving) takes far more than just the desire to get there.  It takes far more than simply starting. And yet, we humans seem to just get our own selves into trouble.  We trip ourselves up! Fortunately, there are ways we can get out of our own way… and neuroscience can help us. Which is why I am bringing you an interview with John Assaraf.  You may be familiar with him from his various media appearances, or from his books, or even from a few documentary movies he's been in.  And if you haven't seen him yet, you will love hearing from him.   RELATED RESOURCES John's Website (with free ebook for you) Innercise (check out the app)

One of my favorite things about doing this podcast is meeting some very cool guests.  And on this episode, I had the chance to talk with Dr. Colin Zhu, a holistic doctor and chef extraordinaire.  Why the chef part?  Because Colin sees so many areas of health and wholeness that is touched by a good diet… along with the consequences of poor dietary choices. A life-long advocate for healing and holistic care, Colin developed his Thr5 (Thrive) Protocol (with 5 pillars to follow).  But as he continued his clinical work and his studies, Colin saw a missing element for self-care.  At the roots of many lifestyle illnesses (diabetes, strokes, and cardiac illness, for example) was the eating patterns of patients/clients. The idea of “Food as Medicine” is one pillar of his protocol, and the focus of his upcoming book:  The Empowered Kitchen. In our chat, Colin discusses the earlier influences that led him to his holistic outlook.  We also cover his Thr5 Protocol pillars, and talk about his latest project. Listen below to discover how you can thrive on the 5 pillars… and how your eating may make all the difference.   RELATED RESOURCES: Dr. Colin Zhu's Website His Book:  The Empowered Kitchen

Have you failed? Did that failure stop you from moving forward?  Did it get you stuck? Failure is a part of life.  Ever watched a child learn to walk?  Success only comes after repeated failures.  Yet that same child keeps on trying, until the child gets it right. What happens in adulthood?  Why does a fear of failing keep us from acting? When we don't take action for fear of failing, we have pre-emptively failed. We have already decided we would fail, so we never even start, guaranteeing we don't get to where you want to go. A few decades ago, I started a business.  It failed miserably.  And it kept me stuck for awhile.  But one day, I realized there was something else to consider about that failure.  There were some lessons I learned. Those are lessons I apply every single day. Let me suggest 3 questions that will help you turn a failure around, and make the failure simply another opportunity. Want to show us some "Twitter Love?"  Click here. Want to support Thriveology podcasts?  Click here.

Days have a rhythm.  All day long, it is a huge inhale, trying to get that energy in you and into your efforts. But at the end of the day, it is a big exhale, a moment of relaxing and calming. Or more accurately, it should be. In our natural rhythm, evenings are a time to wind-down, calm down, and move toward rest. In fact, our ancestors had no choice but to do that.  No lights to keep on.  No screens to watch or video games to play.  No social media to post to.  Just a quiet time to move toward sleep. Experts tell us that our society is sleep deprived.  And researchers are clear that this impacts work performance, relationships, happiness, health, moods, and a myriad of other factors. To put it simply, if you are not getting adequate rest, you will struggle to thrive!  Your body, psyche, and relationships will pay the price. In this podcast, I cover 4 areas of your life that you can shift, so that you have the best chance for getting the best rest. Join me to end your day on a high note, and start your night ready for rest. RESOURCE MENTIONED IN PODCAST: Podcast on Starting Your Day Right

One of my favorite sayings is "Not my circus, not my monkey." Evidently, this is a Polish proverb: Not my circus, not my monkey. Maybe it is because I have an affinity for monkeys, but I love the meaning of that. Am I caught up trying to deal with someone else's circus or monkey?  Am I trying to deal with an issue over which I have no control, and maybe not even a stake? We do that. Friends are fighting, and we get in the middle.  Family members are angry with each other, and we intervene.  Office squabbles (in which we have no stake) pull us in.  We make the circus our own, and try to take over that monkey. When I was growing up, we had another saying:  "I don't have a dog in that fight." Something is happening around us, and we involve ourselves. But if we involve ourselves when it is not our issue, not our fight, and has little bearing on our own lives, we usually end up on the losing side. Communication theorists talk about this as creating a triangle.  The reason for the triangle is an attempt to lower the level of conflict.  It is an attempt to stabilize the situation.  But instead of stabilizing, it only serves to destabilize, pull energy, and entrap bystanders. We can thank our ancient ancestors for this tendency.  But it is up to us to not pretend we have a dog in the fight.  It is up to us to remember it is someone else's circus, someone else's monkey. Learn how to distinguish your involvement in this podcast.  Listen below.

Let's just say it and get it out of the way.  You, I, and everyone else, is going to die.  An inescapable fact of life.  We will die. A morbid thought?  I don't think it has to be a morbid thought, as much as an organizing thought. Reality. It brings things into focus. Years ago, I met a man who was dying from cancer.  He was focused, determined.  His prognosis was terminal, so that was not his determination.  He was determined to live out the rest of his life to the fullest.  He spent his time working on projects dear to him.  He made apologies and amends to those whom he felt he had hurt.  He was letting his loved ones know they were loved. His imminent death gave him focus. One day, he turned to me, after I told him how much I respected how he was facing death, and said, "What about YOUR death?" "What?," I asked.  I wasn't the one dying, after all. Then he said, "YOU are going to die, too.  Maybe after me, maybe before me.  But you will die, too.  Don't wait.  There may be no waiting." Death has a way of rearranging your priorities. Listen to this week's podcast to ponder death and YOUR life.

It's just human nature.  We like things finished And when they're not, they can often tug at us, pulling energy and focus away.  When things are left hanging, we feel (oh, by the way, the last word from that first line is "finished") incomplete, unfinished, unsatisfied.  Did you feel that sensation when you realized a word was missing… and it bugged you?  Unfinished loop. So, what is a "Loop?"  Great question.  This one concept, if you understand it, will help you get free.  If you feel stuck, this is something you need to understand.  More than that, this is one of the most. . . Tell you what, I'll let you listen and hear for yourself. RELATED RESOURCES Intro To Getting Unstuck How You Get Stuck You Are Not As Stuck As You Think Give Up Your Goals & Get Unstuck  

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff."  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there." So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to another.  But I knew what he was saying.  He wanted to change things in his life... but he wanted it based in research and reliability.  He wanted to get it down to the basics. I told him we could easily look at the "low hanging fruit," the easy things to accomplish -- the ones that give the biggest bang for the effort... pretty much guaranteed. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I outline 4 areas to improve, all in very "non-woowoo" ways... and very simple ways... so that you can get the biggest bang for your efforts. Listen in for the details! RELATED RESOURCES Fueling Your Body Exercising Your Body Resting Your Body Dealing With Stress Building A Thriving Life

Are you up for a challenge? In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That's when life is challenging you. But what about when life isn't so challenging... where life is copacetic?  Just cruising. It's my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Is it cold outside?  Turn on the heater.  Is it hot outside?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep things even... even-keeled.  Flat. We spend LOTS of energy to save the energy of dealing with challenges, big or small. But does that help (or harm) us?  Does it keep us safe or make us fragile? What if taking on small challenges actually gets us better prepared for bigger challenges?  What if making choices to expand into life helps us deal with life encroaching upon us? One of my "things" is to find little challenges for myself... new things to try, new activities to do, new tastes or sounds to take in, and new ways to try life. How about you?  What challenges are you taking on right now? Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover the power of a challenge.   RELATED RESOURCES Learning and Life Ways to Expand Growth Mindset Lessons in Jiu Jitsu Book:  Thrive Principles

Have you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement. Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement. That "something"?  It might be a product (like Japanese automobiles, where Kaizen became the method of them becoming excellent automobiles), companies, or even individuals. But how, you might wonder, do you actually DO that continuous improvement? Let me offer a super-simple tool that you can apply to your own life, to your company or workplace, or even to a relationship or organization. SSC - Start, Stop, Continue Three benchmarks:  What do you need to Start?  What do you need to Stop?  What do you need to Continue? In this week's episode, I discuss how to apply SSC to your own life... and to other areas in your life. Listen in for a new tool. RELATED RESOURCES Dealing with Change Why We Avoid Change Paradigms Limiting Beliefs

I'm always looking for the life lessons, no matter what I am doing.  If things go well, what's the lesson?  If things don't go so well, what's the lesson?  If something is fun, what's the lesson?  If things are not so fun… well, there is a lesson there, too. A few years back, I did several podcast episodes about the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu.  But since then, for a number of reasons, I hung my gi up and ended by jiu jitsu life. And that left a void in my life… along with a relocation for my wife and me.  Into that void, we put pickleball.  So, after less than three years of playing, I thought it might just be time for a little thinking on pickleball.  What are the lessons there? (Separately, I am also doing some writing about the psychology of pickleball performance.  If you are interested, CHECK IT OUT HERE.) While lots of the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu have only been strengthened by what I have learned from pickleball, I wanted to choose some different lessons for you.  Five, to be exact.  And no, you don't have to play pickleball for the lessons to apply to your life, too. You can listen to my Life Lessons from Pickleball episode below.   RELATED RESOURCES: Life Lessons from Pickleball Series The Pickled Brain - psychology and performance My Books

What's your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose? I think we all have one... even if we haven't found it yet.  It's there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That's important.  But finding it isn't enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it... try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life! But what could get in your way?? The little "why's."  Your questions about "why did this happen?", "why are things this way?", "why do I feel this way?" Those little why's can drown out the BIG WHY.  It draws our attention away from what is important.  And yet, those little why's get our attention and energy.  They keep us in circles, chasing after nothing helpful or useful.  Just stuck. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss our BIG WHY and the little why's that keep us away from the BIG WHY. RELATED RESOURCES Meaning/Purpose/Impact Showing Up Accepting WHAT IS What Can You Control? What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 1 What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 2 Thrive Principles Book

Life is tough. Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn't mean there isn't another one up ahead.  That's just the nature of life. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It's just the nature of life. You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the "Grind Culture" that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it. Then there is the "Sign Culture."  That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life "should" be easy... if you are doing it right.  They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way... swimming upstream.  But the fact is, life means struggles... at times. So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down? We discuss it... and 5 things to do... on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Does Everything Happen for a Reason? Dealing with Emotional Pain Facing Fears Accepting What Is Book:  Thrive Principles - 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!" Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes. They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong. We live in a "culture of blame." Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing.  From learning from our mistakes.  If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do?  Not my fault... not my problem. Change requires us to change the equation.  To take responsibility, when we are responsibible.  To share credit when others deserve credit. Great leadership is about accepting ultimate responsibility for mistakes and problems, while giving credit for successes. So, how do we turn the equation around?  I discuss it in this week's Thriveology Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES Responsibility NMF Syndrome In Marriage Showing Up Thrive Principles Book Immutable Laws of Living Book

Maybe it's just me… but I don't think so!  Sometimes, we get so stuck in win/lose mentality that we defeat ourselves.  We struggle, wear ourselves out, and never get to the point of something else. What else? Learning.  Nelson Mandela said, “I don't lose.  I either win or I learn.”  What I have realized is, I either learn or learn.  Sure, there may be an outcome… I win the game or lose the game. But more importantly, did I learn?  Did I take something forward with me… that will make a difference as I move forward? In this episode, I highlight the shift — as well as how to make it — with my experiences in jiu jitsu, disc golf, and pickleball. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: This episode as an article My books on thriving and relationships

Here we go!  The old year has passed, and the new year stretches before us… full of possibility and potential.  Let's talk about how to Thrive in '25! In this episode, I'll tell you where I have been, and where the podcast is headed.  I've got lots of great stuff coming your way, and am excited to share it with you. Also in this episode, I tell you the 3 A's of what you can control, so you can start applying that RIGHT NOW. Stay tuned for future episodes! And listen to this episode below.   RELATED RESOURCES: My Books, Click HERE Episode Synopsis, Click HERE

Just a little rant here:  philosophy classes turn off many college students for a simple reason — they never get around to saying how philosophy can shake your living.  Some classes might teach more on “how to think philosophically,” or “here are the old philosophers.”  Some may speak to ethics or arguments, logic or some other esoteric area.  But how to live, day-to-day?  That is often lost to the student. (By they way, I would offer this as an issue with much of theology, too.  Lots of talk about what not to do, what God (or gods) might be like, and how to judge how others live… but not so much clarity on living day-to-day.  But that is a rant for another day!) Anyway, philosophy, as originally taught in ancient days, was exactly for deciding how to live.  How should you act, feel, and think?  As different schools of philosophy might point out, that all depends upon your basic ideas of what a meaningful life might be. Sometimes, we are already acting in ways that point to our idea of meaning, even without a philosophical basis.  I think of this as our “natural philosophy” — how we have made sense of the world. After my first book, many people asked if I was a Stoic.  At that time, I had only a passing concept of that philosophy.  Just one of those old schools of philosophy from a bygone age.  But after hearing it a number of times, I started investigating.  Sure enough, much of my approach to living day-to-day was Stoic.  Huh. Then, I started finding others that had this same experience.  One of those is Vitaliy Katsenelson.  He is the CEO of an investment company.  But his story goes back to his family's immigration to the United States, from Russia, when Vitaliy was a child.  He was old enough to still remember those memories of a dying USSR (and to hold onto a bit of an accent), but young enough to find his way through American culture. After writing several books on investing (including the psychology of investing), Vitaliy took to talking about life.  Not just professional life.  But other areas of life.  Art, music, chess, and family life were grist for the mill of exploring meaning. This led to Vitaliy's latest book, Soul In The Game.  While in the process of writing, Vitaliy stumbled upon Stoic thought and found a new home there.  He incorporates that into this book, to further his exploration into the meaningful life (a slightly different question than the meaning of life). I had a chance to sit down and chat with Vitaliy about a wide range of issues and topics, all related to how life becomes meaningful, and how to find that meaning.  Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to find out more. RELATED RESOURCES Vitaliy's Website Vitaliy's Podcast Find His Book Here My Book on Thriving

I've had a few people who have noticed that the Thriveology Podcast has been on a bit of a hiatus for a couple of months.  They asked where I have been. Well, since the question was about my podcast, I thought I would respond in… my podcast! So, listen in for what I've been up to, where we are headed, and how you can learn more about thriving — along with me! And we will be back with a great interview in the next episode. RELATED RESOURCES: NEW:  Thriving with Lee Baucom resource Lee's Books

Do you ever do something that breaks a rule (or even a law), thinking to yourself that it doesn't apply to you? I do. Sometimes, I use that speed limit sign as a suggestion.  I'm a good driver, I tell myself.  What harm could +5mph do?  Except the sign is a law, not a guideline or suggestion. But I explain it away.  I decide it is ok. I dare to venture that very close to 100% of people do something similar with some rule or law in their own lives.  Someone tells me that they think affairs are bad and unacceptable, while excusing their own infidelity.  I once saw a doctor (some years back) tell a patient that smoking was very bad for them, and they needed to stop… while heading out for a smoke break! I could go on and on. How do we make those moments make sense?  The "Me Exception,” to borrow a term I recently read about.  (The topic I was reading about is politically charged, but my observations were meant to note how we ALL do it, every day… and not about the topic I was reading about.) The Me Exception.  We all do it… and it isn't particularly beneficial to us thriving.  It might even be dangerous to the greater good! Listen in below as we explore your Me Exception. RELATED RESOURCES The Un-Stuck Series My Books on Thriving

Do you micro-quit?  I sure do.  And I need to quit micro-quitting!  Maybe you do, too. It undermines my goals (and likely, your goals too).  And it keeps you from thriving. What is micro-quitting?  Well, if you quit something (an activity, a job, a sport, a hobby, etc.), you stop doing it.  You step away from it. But when you micro-quit, you don't follow through on the smaller building blocks of the bigger thing.  You don't quit.  But you chip away at that bigger thing. For example, you are exercising.  Maybe you like to.  Maybe you want to be in better shape.  But either way, you have decided to exercise. You set your alarm for an early workout.  It goes off.  You decide to hit the snooze button and do a shorter session.  Or you give up on that next set of reps.  Even though it was in your plan… and it was your intention to do it.  You don't.  You micro-quit on that plan, on that action. And in the process, you may be undermining your goals.  A little at a time, a micro-quit at a time. It might just be keeping you and me from thriving! I discuss micro-quitting (and how to micro-commit) in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Your Fierce Life The Habits Series Taking on Discomfort

All around the news, we are hearing about algorithms built into our social media.  It directs what we see and hear. It is how all social media decides what to feed you next.  If you like this video, then you might like this one.  If you know this person, then you may know this person.  If you respond to this ad, then you might respond to this one.  The task?  To keep you on the app or the website.  Because that is the thing about social media:  they want your attention and your time.   But guess what?  You have algorithms that are running inside of you.  They are your “Personal Algorithms.”  They are your habits that run your daily life.  And they don't really function that differently than what the tech companies use. In essence, algorithms are simply If/Then formulas.  “If” this happens, “then” you do this.  In life, they represent your own daily habits and reactions.  The “If” is a trigger.  Something happens.  And when it does, you “then” do something.  If your stomach growls, then you grab a bite to eat.  If you are walking by the cookie jar, then you grab one and eat it.  If the alarm goes off, then you hit the snooze several times.  If/Then. Those algorithms can keep you stuck or free you up, depending on how you use them. My guest this week is Michael Balchan.  He is the CEO of Heroic.us, an app based approach to thriving more in life.  Listen in as we discuss your habits, your life, your algorithms, and how to be on your own “heroic journey.” Throughout his adulthood, Michael has been trying to not just “punch the clock,” but to thrive.  And over the years, he immersed himself in learning and executing.  He sought wisdom from others, then worked to apply it into his life. Along the way, he moved from finance professional to professional coach.  And on that path, he realized his own mission was to help the world to thrive. On this episode, we talk about ways to thrive, and a new resource to help you thrive. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: Heroic.us Thrive Principles Simplified The Habits Series

"Where should I start?", my client asked. Lots of times, we want to make changes, we want things to be different.  And sometimes, we want things to be different before we make any changes. We want a different starting point. If you've ever been at a park or mall, looking at the map to figure out where to go, you might notice that one very important feature, "You Are Here."  It points to the spot where you are now. Not where you want to go.  Not where you want to be. But where you are. If you are at the mall and see the store you want... on the other side of the mall, you might wish you were standing nearby, near the destination store.  Not all the way across the mall. But if you are on the other side of the mall, that is where you are.  Navigating to the destination from a closer point -- a point where you are NOT -- is not likely to be effective. You start where you are. And you might just find... it is a pretty good place to start. Listen to this podcast episode for how to start where you are, and why where you are is a pretty good place to start. RELATED RESOURCES Accepting What Is Limiting Beliefs Making Changes Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

"Why don't they treat me the way I want to be treated?", my client asked me. So, I asked, "Have you taught them how to treat you?" The silence let me know.  But after a pause, my client said, "I guess it never crossed my mind I needed to do that." The fact is that people do not know how we want to be treated... unless we are clear about how we are to be treated.  Otherwise, we get treated the way THEY want to treat US, and not the reverse. In the end, that leaves people frustrated, defensive, and feeling mistreated. Your BOUNDARIES are what lets people know how you want to be treated.  They are your "NO's" of life.  Things you will not let people do to(wards) you. If your boundaries are solid, you are already following this rule.  But if you find yourself being treated in ways you don't want to be, time to start following this rule, "Teach others how to treat you." Listen to this week's Thriveology Podcast for yet another Rule for Living. RELATED RESOURCES Boundaries and Standards How to Deal with Difficult People The Power of Choice Thrive Books

A few weeks ago, a coaching client noted her resistance to forgiving for fear that she would be vulnerable to being hurt.  I told her that was not at all true.  In fact, being alive leaves you open to hurt! But not forgiving?  It offers no protection.  It does, however, prolong the pain caused by some person or event. This client was not the only one who told me about her concern of forgiving.  I have heard it over and over through my three decades of counseling and coaching. Most people have fallen into a habit of hanging on to the hurt, of not forgiving.  They have a habit of UN-forgiving. Let me suggest that, just like any other habit, you can change this habit.  You can foster a Forgive Habit.  There, you more quickly work toward forgiving the hurts and pains you feel from events and others.  And in the process, you find freedom to move forward with a thriving life. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss The Forgive Habit and how to foster it. RELATED RESOURCES Why Forgive? How to Forgive Teaching Others How to Treat You How to Set Boundaries The Forgive Process Book

Have you seen the meme that caught my eye?: I really wish I weren't living through a major historical event right now! I feel that!  But here is the thing I am realizing — historic events are happening on a very regular basis.  We aren't living through the first pandemic (nor will it be the last).  This isn't the first time we have had political upheaval and polarization (nor will it be the last).  This isn't the first time an unpredictable war has rocked a nation (and unfortunately, it won't be the last). I could go on and on.  But you get the point.  We are living through historic events.  As have others, through every other historic event. Sometimes, I wonder how future generations will look back on us, what we are going through, and how we went through it.  Will they believe they could have done better?  Will they think we learned anything?  I wonder…. We get caught up in worrying about events all around us.  And that can lead to anxiety, frustration, and inaction.  Nothing changes. As a client told me years ago, “Its not like I'm not doing anything!  I am worrying!” My client felt like that was doing something.  Indeed, her brain was spinning.  But nothing was changing.  Nothing was happening. How DO you find calm in these crazy times?  We talk about it in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES The Roots of Worry What is Stress Coping with COVID Series Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

Over the past 7 episodes, we have been building our Thrive Code.  The code to follow that allows us to thrive, and also the code that runs your system, like computer code.  And we are closing in on the finish line! We bring the series to an end in this episode. The final piece of the Thrive Code is all about how we feel about others.  Do we see others as “other” or as connected to us?  Do we use compassion or do we objectify? I have a built in belief that we are born with compassion.  Babies and children have a natural compassionate response to others in pain.  But many times, people are taught to not have a compassionate response.  We are taught beliefs about why others are having problems.  Often, those beliefs are based in blame and condemnation. It is no surprise, then, that we are living in a compassion crisis.  Both in terms of compassion for others and self-compassion. Is there a way back?  Yes!  And it starts with understanding exactly what compassion is, where it comes from, why we lose it, and how we can cultivate it.  Learn more in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Challenge Control Community Contribution Create Curiosity Clarity Lee's Books

Did you ever have one of those Magic 8-Balls when you were growing up?  I never had one, but a friend down the street did.  You were supposed to ask Yes/No questions of the ball, then turn it over and a die would float to the surface, revealing your answer. For whatever reason, we could spend lots of time asking a question, shaking and flipping the 8-Ball, and study our answer.  Of course, if we didn't like the answer, we would just shake it again and get another answer. On a side note, I always wondered why an 8 ball from billiards was ever supposed to be “magical” in answering questions.  I recently read that Brunswick Billiards bought the rights to the toy as some point.  So, no, nothing magical about an 8 ball, except for the billiards company being involved! Anyway, there was this one answer that always left me frustrated:  Reply hazy, try again. Naturally, I would.  I'd just shake again and try for another answer.  But I remember this one time… I just kept getting the same answer — Reply hazy, try again.  So, I kept trying again.  And I didn't get anywhere! Well, life can be that way.  When things aren't clear, it can be frustrating and paralyzing.  If we don't have clarity about some decisions, sometimes we do nothing. It turns out that having some clarity helps to make life easier. It helps us to thrive. But, and this is important, seeking clarity is quite a help in thriving.  In fact, when we seek clarity, we tend to find enough of it to move forward.  And sense clarity changes over time, you do have to keep seeking it.  What was clear… what made sense… at one point or stage in life, may no longer make sense at another point.  So, we have to keep seeking clarity — and finding it along the way. This is the code.  The Thrive Code. Listen for more about seeking clarity below. RELATED RESOURCES Challenge Control Community Contribution Create Curiosity Lee's Books

As we continue exploring your thrive code, the next topic is… are you curious? OK, that is actually the topic:  being curious. I've come to regard curiosity as one of the main paths to thriving.  In fact, in the absence of curiosity, we will have a hard time thriving. All learning comes from curiosity. All change comes from curiosity. New experiences come from curiosity. And growth comes from curiosity. I am a curious person.  And I work to stay curious, to build on curiosity. Learn why curiosity is part of the Thrive Code in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES Challenge Control Community Contribution Create Lee's Books  

I must admit, I have said it myself, “I am just not creative.” But that isn't true. Not for me, and not for you. Perhaps you had some art teacher tell you that at one point. Or perhaps you were looking at the creative work of someone else. And perhaps you aren't creative in that particular medium (although it may just be you haven't put effort into that medium). But you ARE creative. And so am I. How do I know? Because we are human. And being human is being creative. We create thoughts all the time. Most of the time, jobs are creative in nature. When we are doing some hobby, it is likely to be creative. Yep, even if it is a sport. When I am rolling in jiu jitsu, I may think that I am just repeating some move I have learned. But in reality, I am trying to creatively respond to the actions of someone else. They move, and I respond, to which they respond, to which I respond. At every step, it is a creative response. Or when I am trying to work a problem on the climbing wall, I have to make a creative choice on how I will make it to the top. I have to be creative in the choices I make, positioning I take, and the route I follow. The fact is, creativity is in our DNA. Humans are probably more creative than any other creature. It only takes a quick look around to see how creative elements surround us with just a quick look around. One part of the Thrive Code is seeing your creativity, and consciously practicing it. I cover it on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  You can listen below.   RELATED RESOURCES Challenge Control Community Contribution Lee's Books

When I talk about Thriveology, many people say, “Oh, that is more of that ‘being happy' stuff, isn't it?" My response:  No. Well, not just that.  Sure, being happy is fine.  No need to avoid being happy! But that is only one dimension of life. It IS the dimension of life that hedonism celebrates and pursues.  If it feels good, do it.  Enjoy life.  Have a good time.  Seek out pleasure and avoid pain. Except that doesn't lead much to thriving. It posits your satisfaction with life externally to you.  It is THAT thing that makes you happy, brings you pleasure, makes life worthwhile. Eudaimonia was the counterpoint in greek thought.  This is the pursuit of life satisfaction by what things mean to you internally. It is how you bring meaning, enjoyment, and satisfaction into your life from within. And there is a cornerstone of that:  Contribution.  What we GIVE to the world, versus what we GET from the world. Giving versus Taking. Research has long pointed out the power of giving and contributing to the mental health, wellbeing, meaning/purpose, and satisfaction of people to their lives.  Which is why it is part of The Thrive Code. Listen below to learn why contribution matters and some principles of doing it. RELATED RESOURCES: Challenge Control Community Lee's Books

It's in our DNA.  We have a need to connect with others, to have connections and relationships.  We express that in close relationships and larger groups. And unfortunately, lately, we have often allowed tribalism into our connections.  When we slip into our tribal thinking, we work from a place of exclusion.  This leads to a greater illusion of connection.  In reality, that connection is based in being the same as others in the tribe. Community, on the other hand, allows others to include themselves.  It is not about differences.  Lines are not drawn to separate.  Differences have room for inclusion. And true connection can grow. Speaking of connection… we need connection in life to thrive.  Those who are caught in isolation suffer, both emotionally and in their health.  It is also deeply wired into our DNA. Where is YOUR community? Where is YOUR connection? Listen to this episode of Thriveology Podcast for why community and connection are so important. RELATED RESOURCES Challenge:  Thrive Code #1 Control:  Thrive Code #2

Many people make the Control Error — they attempt to control what they cannot control, while also failing to control what they can. Why? Because they don't know what they can't control and they don't know what they can control. Humans have a desire to feel like they are “in control” of their lives. Most people hate feeling out of control. And yet, by making the Control Error, they constantly feel out of control (and work harder to control… what they cannot control). Thriving is tough when you feel out of control. And it is even more difficult when you are not controlling the areas you can control. There is a code to thriving. Think of it as the computer code behind all the things your computer programs can do. The basic assumptions and directions come from the underlying code. It allows the tasks to happen. Similarly, there is an underlying code to thriving. If the code is working, daily tasks and living go much better. You thrive in your life. One element of that Thrive Code, we discussed in the last episode:  Challenge. In this episode,we take on the second element of the Thrive Code: Control. More importantly, it is about controlling what you can control, while releasing yourself from what you cannot control. Listen to the episode below. RELATED RESOURCES: Thrive Code 1: Challenge Your Circle of Control Solving the Control Paradox Lee's Books

Life is a challenge, isn't it? I don't think I am saying anything that is a surprise these days. We've been dealing with a pandemic now for over 2 years. For many people, that has led to many challenges throughout life. Which brings me to my word for 2022. Each year, my family chooses one word to live into for the year. And this year, my word is Challenge. Not just to acknowledge the challenge of these days, but to claim that I am going to live into and lean into the challenge! Even without a pandemic, life would still be a challenge. Why? Because that is the nature of life. Life challenges us. We can see it as an obstacle. We can even stomp our feet and proclaim that “it shouldn't be this hard.” But that won't change the fact that life is just a challenge. So, philosophically, I just acknowledge and accept that it is a challenge. Not an obstacle; a challenge. Also, I need a challenge. If I don't have something to take on, some challenge to work toward, I tend to get stagnant. I've learned this several times over this past year. Looking back, I see the challenges along the way. I see how they have helped me to grow and expand. A challenge is part of my growth. But guess what? That is true for all of us. Our bodies and minds have evolved to be at their best when under a challenge. Too little challenge, and the body weakens. So does our brain. So does our mind. Which is why I will also be doing more challenges (of myself and of clients) in the coming year. What is YOUR challenge? (Listen to the podcast below for more on why we need a challenge, and how to take one on.)   RELATED RESOURCES: Thrive Principles book Podcast Episode: What's YOUR Challenge? Immutable Law episode: Life Has Challenges

And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable! Why the stress? In a repeat of last year's podcast (since we still have that holiday stress!), I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress. Don't let stress rob you of the deeper meanings and connections of this holiday season. RELATED RESOURCES Why We Stress 5 Ways to Shift from Stressful to Restful Deepening the  Holidays Book: Thrive Principles

It's a trap.  And we all fall into it. Sadly, we set it up on ourselves, then step right into it. WHACK!  We are stuck... waiting.  And that's the trap -- the wait.  Life can't begin until.... What's the trap?  The "When/Then Trap."  You know, that time when you say, "When ____ happens, then I will ______."  When you finally get that great job, get that perfect spouse, make $$'s, win the lottery, etc.  THEN, life can finally get started.  THEN you can be happy, help others, find meaning, do... well, you get the point. It just seems that something has to change, (right?) before you can get to something else.  And so, we get stuck... waiting for that something to change.  Not realizing that there may be other ways to get there... or even other places to get to! There are alternatives to being stuck in the "When/Then Trap."  In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we explore why and how we get stuck.  And how to get out of that trap.  Listen below. GRAB MY BOOKS ON THRIVING: Thrive Principles The Immutable Laws of Living

I bet you hear it as much as I do.  You may even say it.  "I'm so stressed!"  The malady of the modern age.  Stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated. But what IS stress? As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about. These days, I tend to push my body, physically.  I take a good long walk in the morning, usually do a workout after that, then go to jiu jitsu 3 to 5 evenings per week.  My body can, indeed, get stressed. When we talk about "stress," in everyday life, we are more talking about psychological stress.  Which is really just a term for something else.  Something we'd rather not claim. But once we recognize what it really is, we can do something about it.  So, let's figure out why we stress... and what we can do about it. Listen below to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES We ALL Have Fears Your Thriving Body Dealing With Anxiety Dealing With Depression Thrive Principles Book

If you are in the States, we are on the cusp of the Holiday season, kicking off with Thanksgiving in just a few days. For me, the Holidays throughout the year are moments to step into gratitude.  Not just in a little "thank you for that gift," but in a gratitude for being alive.  For being here.  For experiencing life. Each morning, while walking the neighborhood with my dogs, Ziggy and Clementine, I reflect on 5 things for which I am grateful.  That starts my day with an attempt to shift my attention to thankfulness, to gratitude. Granted, some days, that feeling quickly evaporates when the work piles up. But I try to remember to be grateful on a daily basis. How about you? Did you know that research shows how simple gratitude habits can re-wire the brain... away from fear and threat?  Away from depression and anxiety?  Just by thinking with gratitude.  Just by focusing on things for which you are grateful. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss the power of gratitude to shift your thinking and re-wire your brain... just in time for a day we set aside to be particularly Thankful. Know that I am thankful for you, my reader/listener.  Wishing you the best of Thanksgivings! RELATED RESOURCES Gratitude & Appreciation Two Targets To Thrive The Appreciation Approach Stop Trying To Change The Past Thrive Principles Books

"How did I end up here?," my client asked.  He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction.  Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction. I asked him, "Did you course correct along the way?"  He looked at me rather quizzically.  So, I elaborated, "If you are sailing, you point the boat toward some object in the distance, in the direction you want to sail.  You sail toward it.  But the winds push, the current pushes, and you end up a little off-course.  So, you course correct." But then, I added: "Sometimes, you realize that where you thought you wanted to go is not really where you want to go... or maybe it isn't safe to go.  Maybe a storm or something else.  But you have to go somewhere else.  So, you change course." And I continued, "Then there are the times when you don't course-correct as you go, and the small space of being off-course begins to broaden as you go.  What might have been just a course correction at the beginning is now a course change." Then I returned to our dialogue and asked, "So, did you course correct... or is this a course change?" Just to be clear:  either is fine.  We all have the option of course changes in life.  Sometimes, it is just a course correction.  But it is okay if you need a course change. It's a part of life. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I explore the difference between a course correction and a course change.  What does it look like, and when is it time for a change? Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Book:  Immutable Laws of Living Dealing with Change How Are You Showing Up Meaning and Purpose

Have you seen this picture in your FB feed or on Twitter?  It crossed my path a number of times. The first time I saw it, I was immediately uncomfortable.  But it took a little time for me to be clear on why. There is a point to it:  just because you apologize doesn't mean everything is okay. I like that point. But I worry about going the other way:  if someone hurts you, you are shattered.  With that, I disagree. Not just a little. A lot. I firmly believe that we are all built to heal from hurts.  I firmly believe that encoded within us is the capacity to not just move forward, but to thrive, even when someone deeply wounds us. We humans are natural story-tellers.  And we all LOVE to tell the "someone done me wrong" stories -- thus, 90% of country songs! And people do, indeed, do us wrong (and we do others wrong). The problem is not the stories.  It is our attachment to those stories.  When we begin to define ourselves by the stories of what happened to us, we become that story.  It no longer happened TO us, it IS us. And we get stuck.  We become defined by the story, (almost always, A story).  Then, we are limited.  We stop growing.  We stay attached to the story. In this week's podcast, I discuss what happens with a story, and why we can't allow ourselves to be caught by the story. RELATED RESOURCES: Apologies How to Forgive Book: The Forgive Process Book: The Immutable Laws of Living

A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu.  One of my lessons was about "egoless learning."  Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved.  And what's wrong with that... the ego? Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives.  Why?  Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, what we look like.  And because of that, we try to keep up an image. And because of that, we trip. Soon after I learned to scuba dive, I decided I wanted to become an instructor.  Partly because I wanted to learn more, partly because I enjoy teaching. So, after some time of accumulating classes, dive time, and teaching experience, I was ready for my certification process.  It was supposed to be a learning event.  A place for me to learn more about teaching, got some feedback on how I was teaching, and demonstrated my capacity to teach. They weren't looking for me to be the best teacher.  I was at the beginning of my teaching. That said, part of my task was to teach... so they could evaluate me and help me to be better.  And to get ready, I had practiced.  I created a killer PowerPoint.  I had "show and tells."  I just knew they would see what an amazing teacher I was.  I would show them! I finished.  They offered feedback.  The first piece, "You went 2 minutes longer than your limit."  I was in the middle of a rebuttal, when I realized... I was not learning.  I was proving.  I was worried about my appearance.  My ego was there. More feedback.  More temptation for rebuttal.  My ego tripped me up, and I knew it wasn't the first time.  When ego appears, learning disappears. Listen to this episode to hear how ego trips us up. RELATED RESOURCES: Lessons from Jiu Jitsu Trial and Error Living Life As An Experiment Lessons Learned As A Chaplain

Have you ever wanted something... just knowing that if you had it, you would be... happy? And if you got it, did you find yourself happier?  Not just for a few moments or days, but long-term? Sometimes, the "buyer's remorse" sets in right after the purchase, with you realizing that no, that shiny new object didn't make you happier (and may have even become an instant burden), and no, happiness did not suddenly appear. The term for our wanting those things that don't actually lead to satisfaction or happiness is "mis-wants."  The wants we have that aren't as significant as we thought.  We literally "miss" when we aim at those "wants." And guess what?  That is MORE often true than not.  Rarely does that thing get us the effect we want and expect. What DO we want?  We think it is happiness. But it isn't. Not really. Listen to the episode for more on those Mis-Wants. RELATED RESOURCES: It's Not About Happiness Purpose and Impact The Happiness Trap The When/Then Trap Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living  

We all want confidence -- SELF-confidence.  We want to be confident before we act.  In other words, I want to feel confident of myself before I move toward something. Or maybe that's just me!  :-) But I think that comes at it from the wrong direction.  FEAR seems to be between us and action.  Mostly because of the order we have for action: Confidence ==> Action ==> Success. But instead, we have: FEAR ==> Wait for Confidence ==> Keep Waiting If you understandt the real flow, then you can step aside and let fear pass you by, letting you take action AND gain confidence. Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to learn more. RELATED RESOURCES: Getting Un-Stuck Fear Is A Given New Book:  Immutable Laws Of Living

It seems to be a specialty of mine... getting people UN-stuck.  Which means I spend a fair amount of time noting what gets people stuck in the first place.  Makes sense, right?  If you want to get un-stuck, you need to know why you got stuck. There are some clear reasons why people get stuck.  For example, when you violate one of the 16 Immutable Laws Of Living I highlight in my latest book, you will end up stuck.  Guaranteed.  Which is why I try to spell them out for you, so you can get unstuck. One area that consistently gets people stuck is fear.  And the way to get un-stuck is not to eliminate fear.  Mostly because it is impossible to eliminate fear.  It is wired into your brain.  Just part of being alive. But, and this is the good news, you only have to do a little pivot in order to let fear help you. Before I go into how you can pivot, though, I clarify three primary ways that fear can get you stuck (and keep you stuck).  Listen to learn the three ways, and the one necessary pivot. RELATED RESOURCES: The Immutable Laws of Living Book Getting Un-Stuck Free of Fear Series

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff."  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there." So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to another.  But I knew what he was saying.  He wanted to change things in his life... but he wanted it based in research and reliability.  He wanted to get it down to the basics. I told him we could easily look at the "low hanging fruit," the easy things to accomplish -- the ones that give the biggest bang for the effort... pretty much guaranteed. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I outline 4 areas to improve, all in very "non-woowoo" ways... and very simple ways... so that you can get the biggest bang for your efforts. Listen in for the details! RELATED RESOURCES Fueling Your Body Exercising Your Body Resting Your Body Dealing With Stress Building A Thriving Life

Sometimes, success comes from being at the right place at the right time.  Sometimes, tragedy comes from being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  But what happens when you are at the right place at the wrong time? For Kushal  Choksi, it saved his life.  It was September 11, 2001.  Kushal was running late, and rushing to get to a meeting in the World Trade Towers.  He was racing through the mezzanine when a horrific impact jarred him and threw the world into chaos.  What had happened?  What should they do? Some people were frozen in place.  Others were fleeing the building.  Still others were simply trying to get back to their day, oblivious to the danger that was mounting.  Choksi headed for the door, but was met by a security guard who was imploring people to return to the building.  Given the debris raining down, that made some sense. But before he could turn, another voice and a strong hand on his shoulder said, "No, get out!"  Kushal did.  That decision saved his life. And that day completely reordered Choksi's life.  He was lost for some time after.  What seemed like the recipe for success was floundering.  It was not just about being wealthy and powerful.  Somehow, the "American Dream" no longer seemed the goal. What then? After much seeking, Kushal found his way forward with new tools for dealing with his anxiety and fears.  And that led him to another path of success. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, as we approach the 20th anniversary of that horrific attack, I had a chance to sit down with Kushal and talk about meaning, purpose, breath, and mindfulness. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: Kushal Choksi's Website Amazon Link to Kushal's book, On A Wing And A Prayer Free of Fear Series Breathe Order, Disorder, Reorder

I don't know anyone who really likes criticism.  Well, at least receiving criticism.  I do know some people who seem to relish dishing out criticism!  You probably know some, too. But criticism can be important feedback.  And feedback can help us to make changes in ourselves and our habits.  They can help us change harmful or unhelpful parts of our lives into more productive and healthy parts. Which means we have a problem.  We don't like getting criticized.  But that criticism might just hold some important information for transformation. One of the coaches on my staff once remarked on some rather critical feedback from a client, that she had received some "free coaching."  It took a few moments to get away from a defensive reaction and toward a helpful reaction.  But my coach made the shift. First, let me be clear that not all feedback is helpful feedback.  Not all feedback needs your attention. Which raises the question:  how do you sift through that feedback to decide what to discard and what to keep?  How do you isolate the treasures amidst the trash?  These days, there is a lot of trash to sift. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I explore a framework from feedback coach, Shanita Williams.  Her sifting strategy can help you find the useful and release the useless feedback. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: Williams' Feedback Mentality website Book:  Feedback Mentality Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain When Your Ego Trips You Up

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!" Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes. They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong. We live in a "culture of blame." Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing.  From learning from our mistakes.  If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do?  Not my fault... not my problem. Change requires us to change the equation.  To take responsibility, when we are responsibible.  To share credit when others deserve credit. Great leadership is about accepting ultimate responsibility for mistakes and problems, while giving credit for successes. So, how do we turn the equation around?  I discuss it in this week's Thriveology Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES Responsibility NMF Syndrome In Marriage Showing Up Thrive Principles Book Immutable Laws of Living Book

Are you up for a challenge? In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That's when life is challenging you. But what about when life isn't so challenging... where life is copacetic?  Just cruising. It's my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Cold out?  Turn on the heater.  Hot out?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep things even... even-keeled.  Flat. We spend LOTS of energy to save the energy of dealing witb challenges, big or small. But does that help (or harm) us?  Does it keep us safe or make us fragile? What if taking on small challenges actually gets us better prepared for bigger challenges?  What if making choices to expand into life helps us deal with life encroaching upon us? One of my "things" is to find little challenges for myself... new things to try, new activities to do, new tastes or sounds to take in, and new ways to try life. How about you?  What challenges are you taking on right now? Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover the power of a challenge. RELATED RESOURCES Learning and Life Ways to Expand Growth Mindset Lessons in Jiu Jitsu Book:  Thrive Principles  

You apologize.  Now what? Are you finished?  Is it now up to the person to whom you apologized? Nope.  That is only one part of the process. Understand that apologies, forgiving, reconciliation, and trust are all separate functions.  Each is tied to the other, but independent.  Forgiving does not require an apology.  An apology does not mandate forgiveness.  You can apologize or forgive, and still not reconcile.  And in the end, it is a choice to trust or not. So, let's step back into what you can do, so that you can "clear the air" and move forward.  In other words, to make sure you do your part. I suggest 6 steps to this process, and I cover each one in this episode of the podcast. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: Anatomy Of An Apology Forgive Resources Making Change Limiting Beliefs Responsibility The Forgive Process

I don't know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks... trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are... compared to the others. It doesn't stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That's all that matters.  Well, winning.  That's what matters. Remember Ricky Bobby from the movie, Talladega Nights? "If you ain't first, you're last!"  In other words, you win... or you have lost. (Do remember, though, that at another point in the movie, Ricky Bobby is talking with his Dad... and gets challenged: Ricky Bobby: "Wait, Dad. Don't you remember the time you told me 'If you ain't first, you're last'?" Reese Bobby: "Huh? What are you talking about, Son?" Ricky Bobby: "That day at school." Reese Bobby: "Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth." Ricky Bobby: "What? I've lived my whole life by that!" There you go... a first... a quote in a Will Ferrell movie to make a point about thriving!) We grow up on that whole "win or learn" thing... which ties us tightly to our ego.  If we win, ego boost.  If we lose, ego bruise.  What will others think?? Maybe it is worth making a shift. Nelson Mandela said, "I never lose. I either win or I learn." When you don't win, you can learn! Great shift.  "Losing" is an opportunity for learning.  When you don't win, there is an opportunity for growth, for learning... for being better. But it is still bound by ego. What if it isn't even the win? But the learn? Then, we either learn... or we learn. Listen to this episode for more on winning/losing versus learning/learning. RELATED RESOURCES What I learned in Jiu Jitsu More I learned in Jiu Jitsu Even MORE I learned in Jiu Jitsu Trial-And-Error Mindset Three Growth Mindsets Showing UP Book:  Thrive Principles Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living ... And show some love with a tweet by CLICKING HERE.

So far, life has a 100% mortality rate.  We are not getting out of this alive!  You and I, and everyone we know, will face the inevitable moment of losing loved ones, and facing our own death. And yet, we live in a culture that would rather NOT look at this reality.  Would rather NOT pay attention to this fact.  Would rather NOT think about those end-of-life issues... at least until we are forced to. Over more than the past year, there has been a daily toll of death and loss.  It has been in our face in an inescapable way for many long months. But I wonder if this has changed the conversations in any important ways about our own (and our loved one's) death and dying. Willy Donaldson realized that he had to have some tough conversations with his parents.  In spite of his own resistance, and that of his parents, Willy had those conversations, to find out what wishes his parents had about that inescapable time.  It was not just a conversation about the details, but the reasons behind their wishes.  What Willy wanted was to make sure his parents' wishes were known and understood, not just by the family, but by his parents. It turned out that those uncomfortable conversations were a gift.  They were moments of understanding and connection. Those conversations were also a comfort for everyone.  So that that last human moment was understood and out in the open. This topic became so important that Willy, a business professor, started sharing his story.  That led to a book about those important conversations.  And it led to our interview about those important conversations.  Listen in on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, as Willy and I discuss those end-of-life conversations and why they are so important. RELATED RESOURCES: Estimated Time of Departure Website Moving Through Grief Does Everything Happen For A Reason? Order, Disorder, Reorder