Podcasts about whack

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Best podcasts about whack

Latest podcast episodes about whack

Supermom is Getting Tired
Am I tired because my hormones are out of whack?

Supermom is Getting Tired

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2023 49:44


Episode #143 – Are My Hormones Out of Whack? Understanding Fatigue with Functional Medicine When clients get on a coaching call with me, sometimes they start the conversation with “I don't know if it's just my hormones but I've been super tired and cranky lately.” If are tired of feeling tired, and aren't sure if ... Read more... The post Am I tired because my hormones are out of whack? appeared first on Life Coaching For Parents.

Growth Against the Grain | Network Marketing entrepreneurs, Social Selling, direct sales strategy, MLM, Social Media Marketin

You are juggling so many different things.  I know you're greatest and deepest desire is to honor the Lord in all you do.  BUT....have your priorities gone a little rogue?  Have they gotten out of whack? Today that's exactly what we're talking about.  And we're going to start by looking at 3 areas to get an idea of how far off course they've gotten. And please know...I'm not coming from the "I've got it all figured out" stand point...your girl is a hot mess express and this episode is completely born to of the understanding that my priorities have been outta whack for far longer than I care to admit! Grab your coffee, water, tea or all three and let's get goin. xx, Michelle    _____________________ JOIN THE FACEBOOK COMMUNITY:  bit.ly/christianmindsetsupport FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/itsmemichellecastro/ Are you on Pinterest? So am I! Go find me: https://www.pinterest.com/itsmemichellecastro/ Where to find me: https://www.growthagainstthegrain.com SUBSCRIBE + FREE GIFT: https://www.growthagainstthegrain.com/subscribe

Facts Over Acts Podcast
Whack Prescott

Facts Over Acts Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2023 66:15


The Crew Breaks Down The NFL Divisional Round

Quit Your Job, Sis
Mindset Techniques to Grow Your Business w/ Biz + Mindset Coach Shana Dewitt

Quit Your Job, Sis

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 34:47


If you're wondering why your business isn't thriving despite the amount of effort and energy you put into it, chances are you need a mindset shift. Entrepreneurs often struggle achieving the success they strive for in business because their focus is on the wrong issue.The reality is, in order to achieve success with any strategy, you must tackle what's really blocking progress: yourself! In this episode, I chat with Shana Dewitt, a business coach and marketing strategist, who helps women create sustainable businesses doing meaningful work.Shana discusses why embracing the power of mindset shifts and releasing perfectionism are keys to success. She also shares tips on how you can get clear on your goals, the importance of investing in yourself and your business, and why getting help when you need it is essential. If you're ready to step up and make some real progress in your business, this episode is for you!Join us as we discuss:(1) Common mindset blocks that can keep women stuck from growing their businesses(2) How to reframe your negative perspective on selling so you can feel good about promoting your services(3) Identifying your underlying limiting beliefs and fears that are keeping you stuck (4) Strategies for working through uncomfortable feelings and avoiding the "Whack-a-Mole" game of mindset work (5) Benefits of using EFT, NLP and other tools to help better manage your emotions(6) How to create a signature marketing system that works for you and your biz(7) Why leveraging an entrepreneurial community is beneficial in growing your business (8) Shana's biggest piece of advice for aspiring entrepreneurs who feel overwhelmed about launching their businessResourcesConnect with ShanaWebsiteSocialThe Magnetic Entrepreneur PodcastFacebook Group*FREE Gift for listeners! ChaseIf you're a small business owner, it's important to get a business credit card to help manage your expenses and keep your personal credit score separate from your business. The Chase Ink Business Cash card is a great option, with no annual fee, 0% APR for the first year, and 5% cash back on purchases. You can also earn a $750 bonus if you spend $7,500 in the first three months after opening your account. To compare business credit cards and find the right one for your business, visit lindsayhanson.com/chase today.Support the showYour favorite podcast is now available on YouTube! Catch up on the latest episodes by clicking HEREFor more biz tips, BTS moments, and pissing off corporate bros, follow me on social media @lindsaymhanson! Instagram | TikTokWant more tips to help you launch & grow your online business? Click here to join the FREE Quit Your Job, Sis Facebook Community!Need a coach or social media manager to help you launch & grow your online biz? Work with me!

Security Explained
Are Hack Back Attacks Whack??

Security Explained

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 48:40


In today's episode listen to Chris, Drew, and Logan struggle with the potential ramifications of companies retaliating against hackers by hacking them back!How do you handle attribution? What about collateral damage?Who in the world would actually notify the FBI prior to doing this??Let's (potentially) find out in today's episode!

Holmberg's Morning Sickness
01-20-23 - Midday Whack Interrupted By Police At John's Door Yesterday - Steps To Take Care Your Whack Session Is Private

Holmberg's Morning Sickness

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2023 28:52


Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Friday January 20, 2023

Radio Free Tote Bag
#238 We Were Talkin About Meat! feat. Whack Nicholson

Radio Free Tote Bag

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2023 66:41


Yeehaw buckaroos, from Twitter and Western Kabuki podcast - we've got the one and only @WhackNicholson with us! And we're stoked, we're chattin at the top - shared Newgrounds porno experience, a twin RFTB that sells meat apparently, and of course an embarassing relationship story. And then? You already know, it's your questions: Coworker might have overhead you say "I want to die" and a lil worried | A follow up on the person whose therapist set them up on a date with another patient | New relationship haunted by an insane ex - red flag city | A nice message from a listener :) Thanks again to Whack for joining us, follow him on Twitter @WhackNicholson and listen to Western Kabuki wherever podcasts are! And thank you for tuning in! You can support the show and get a bonus episode each week at Patreon.com/rftb as well as other neat bonus stuff! Wow!

Matt & Mattingly's Ice Cream Social
Episode 967: Whack A Prince.

Matt & Mattingly's Ice Cream Social

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2023 98:07


Paul Mattingly adds another dog to his K9 Empire. Matt interviews Prince Harry. Jacob finds a new and indisputable way to confirm he is old. Finally, who is Big Lou and what does he do. Scoop mail and Jock Vs. Nerd Scoopardy Trivia.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Silver Screen & Roll: for Los Angeles Lakers fans
Why the trade market feels out of whack -- Lakers Lowdown

Silver Screen & Roll: for Los Angeles Lakers fans

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 15:38 Very Popular


Anthony offers up the latest on the Lakers' injury situation, and explains why help might be on the way. He then reacts to some early asking prices on shooters right now and why the prices are as high as they are. He wraps with a look back at the first half of the season and looks ahead to the second. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Boozebuddy Update
BOOZE NEWS: Hot Toddy Day, Hack or Whack, & Best-Selling Whiskeys

The Boozebuddy Update

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 3:18


Happy Hot Toddy Day! If you want a simple Hot Toddy to make today, Fishers Island Lemonade is a ready-to-drink beverage that is also ready-to-Toddy. I'll provide a link to the YouTube video that shows you how to make it right from the source here https://youtu.be/p8PrR6_eCI0. So, about that history - is it from England, India (where it's called a “Taddy”), or possibly even Ireland? While I sip, do some internet sleuthing at the link https://www.tastingtable.com/1150064/the-disputed-origin-of-the-hot-toddy/ Hack or Whack? Sometimes when you hear of a “life hack”, it's either helpful or a solid no. I think this one is a no for me, but you decide. Would you use this hack? The hack is to pre-freeze your beer into ice cubes, and then add the frozen ice cubes to your beer when you kneed to keep it cold. I think this one works for grapes (so your wine isn't watered down) or iced coffee which has a strong enough flavor, but not in my beer, thanks. Click the link for more. https://www.thedailymeal.com/1154712/the-ice-cube-hack-that-keeps-beer-cold-without-watering-it-down/ and an affiliate link to a beer chiller https://amzn.to/3irLNhH The third story after this - The Boozebuddy Update is brought to you by Green Mountain Payments - helping local business owners save thousands of dollars by providing complimentary credit card processing equipment and zero cost credit card processing. Visit greenmountainpayments.com or posandzero.com today! Here are the Best-Selling Whiskeys. Whiskeys are popular in the US, and you might be surprised at what we are spending our dollars on. Where does your favorite fall on this list? Also, check the link for top trending whiskeys and how they got the numbers. https://www.gobourbon.com/top-10-best-selling-american-whiskey-brands-of-2022-by-drinks-international/ More info on a whiskey challenger tomorrow. Remember to stay safe, drive sober and support the booze that supports your local community. Have a comment, question, or story suggestion? Reach out to me at boozebuddyupdate.com Buy me a Beer and get merch - https://ko-fi.com/boozebuddy Find all the show notes, links, and suggest a story at https://BoozebuddyUpdate.com *Affiliate links below* El Gato Retractable Green Screen - https://amzn.to/3gKm4jr LED Streaming Key Light Desktop - https://amzn.to/3TYfV10 GoProHero 10 - https://amzn.to/3N98nGU sE7 Microphone - https://amzn.to/3VVhUoV Audient iD4 Audio Interface - https://amzn.to/3D94jS5 Mic to Interface Cable - https://amzn.to/3sxODDk MOMAN MA6 Lavalier Mic - https://amzn.to/3ZktFHf #theboozebuddyupdate #boozebuddy #boozebuddyupdate #beerindustry #boozenews #booze #hottoddy #lemon #cinnamon #hotdrink #cocktails #hotmix #taddyday #lifehacks #lifehack #lifehacking #hacks #hacksvideo #whack #bestofthebest #bestwhiskey #makersmark #buffalotrace #buffalotracedistillery #woodfordreserve #jackdaniels #wildturkey #jimbeam #elijahcraig the boozebuddy update, beer industry, global news, booze news, booze, hot toddy, fishers lemonade, hot drinks, hot cocktail, warm drinks, beat the cold, Maker's Mark, Bulleit, Buffalo Trace, Michter's, Woodford Reserve, Jack Daniel's, Wild Turkey, Jim Beam, Rittenhouse, Elijah Craig --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/boozebuddy/support

Two Girls and a Guy
2GG Podcast: Cardi B Says Inflation is Whack PART 1

Two Girls and a Guy

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 6:45


2GG Podcast: Cardi B Says Inflation is Whack PART 1 by Two Girls and a Guy

Two Girls and a Guy
2GG Podcast: Cardi B Says Inflation is Whack PART 2

Two Girls and a Guy

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 3:01


2GG Podcast: Cardi B Says Inflation is Whack PART 2 by Two Girls and a Guy

Livin Loud Outdoors - Buster Holzer

Whack a Mole! excerpt from Healing What's Hidden by Evan and Jenny Owens --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/buster-holzer/support

The Scorecard with Liam Flanagan
Warner Goes Whack! Aussies punish South Africa in MCG scorcher.

The Scorecard with Liam Flanagan

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2022 5:41


- Mitchell Starc in doubt for the SCG test. - Gunning for the title. Arsenal go clear atop the Premier League table. - Hack job. an NFL coach the fall guy for his quarter-back's struggles.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your Anxiety Toolkit
Overcoming Superstitious Obsessions (with Laura Ryan) | Ep. 316

Your Anxiety Toolkit

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 33:20


SUMMARY:  Laura Ryan tells her story of overcoming superstitious Obsessions  How to manage Whack-a-mole obsessions How her family helped to support her as she overcame Superstitious OCD  How to get through the hard OCD days Perfectionism and Exposure & Response Prevention Links To Things We Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION Kimberley Quinlan: Well, welcome, Laura. I am so excited to hear your story today about Overcoming Superstitious Obsessions. Thank you for coming on the show. Laura Ryan: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Kimberley Quinlan:  Yeah, so it's wonderful. I love the stories when I accidentally meet people online, and then we have this cool story that's together, but we're not like not together at all. So I love hearing your story for the first time today, and I love that. I've been a small small part of that journey for you.  Tell me a little about you and your backstory in, you know, the area of recovery. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. So I definitely would have had OCD my whole life, but it wasn't until I was about 17 or 18 years old that I just stumbled across something on the Internet where I was like Oh yeah, that sounds like me. I've got OCD, but it didn't. It wasn't stopping me from doing anything at that point. So I just ignored it and went on. I had three Uni degrees under my belt. I was working at a publisher and freelancing as a book editor, and then Laura Ryan:  my family had some health issues, and my sister as well, had some relationship issues, and I don't think I knew what to do with the stress. Um, and OCD crept up. So gradually, it was undetectable, and then sudd,  I found myself at age 22 with crippling compulsions. SUPERSTITIONS AND BREATH-HOLDING COMPULSIONS Laura Ryan:  It was nothing short of torture. It was horrific. I was so ill with OCD that I would come home from a day at work, and I wouldn't even remember the day because I'd spent the whole day in fight or flight. And I had mental sort of thought replacement and breath-holding compulsions. So it was completely invisible to people around me, but it was able to kind of have control over me for the whole day. Like from the second, I woke up to the second. I went to sleep. When I eventually saw a doctor, the psychiatrist was like, Oh, and how often are you affected by these thoughts? And I just didn't understand the question because I was like, Well, every few seconds, I guess. Laura Ryan:  Yeah, so they were weird. Compulsions, like a lot of Shame around them as well because they were all kind of magical thinking superstitious. Like there was no logical link. They were all like, I'm holding my breath because I think I will magically give someone a disease if I breathe out while looking at them, or Yeah, just weird. We had rules that made absolutely no sense. Laura Ryan:  which, Also. yeah, it impacted my self-esteem because I've always thought of myself as a Logical person, but these just made no sense. Laura Ryan:  yeah, I also became stick thin because if I, and it wasn't even anything to do with the food, it was just if you eat this food, the intrusive thought will come true. And I, it just wasn't worth their Stress of eating. and then, there was a point where Laura Ryan:  I would have conflicting compulsions, so OCD would kind of be like if you do this thing or if you don't do this thing, the intrusive thought will come true, and then I would just stand there paralyzed Like unable to do anything. I don't like to think how long I've spent just standing still, like the pervasive slowness, I think it's called was just Yes, stopped me from. Doing anything? Some nights it would have taken more than an hour to get to bed. It was just I had to touch wood or Rearrange things for so long before I was able to get to sleep. yeah, so I'd been a really 00:05:00 Laura Ryan:  Pleasant child and teenager big people pleaser perfectionist type person, and then all of a sudden I was this irritable, distracted young adult, and I didn't like who I was, and no one in my family knew what was going on with me. Um, and yeah, I was eventually unable to work, and I quit my job. And I was too anxious to Google things. So I looked up OCD on my podcast app, and that was when I found you were a guest on the mental illness happy hour, I think, and you played this game of one-up together, and it was like, It was incredible. It was like it was. Yeah, it was the first time I had Laura Ryan:  heard of ERP and OCD. Laura Ryan: Yeah. Sorry, it was the first time I'd heard of ERP and Anxiety treatment that wasn't just meditation or gratitude, which are helpful. But sometimes, when you're in that dark place, the only thing that can get to you. It is something dark itself but also brings that humor as well. I think it is just the most powerful tool you can have when you're there. Then I started looking up Absolutely everything Kimberley Quinlan. I was absolutely your number one fan. You say you had a small part in my story. You had a huge, huge part in my story. Because I was way too unwell to drive. There was no way I would go to my GP and get a mental health care referral. I was not going anywhere near Medical Center. And barely making it out of the house. So, when I found your ERP school to do online, it was nothing short of life-saving. I was able to get enough to go to the GP then and get a referral to see a psychologist. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: It makes me want to cry, it does. And when can I ask a couple of questions about that when you said There's no way you would have gone to the GP because of the obsessions that held you back or just the shame of it? What was there? Another reason that that was such a huge step for you? SUPERSTITIOUS OBSESSIONS & SYMPTOMS Laura Ryan:  It was mainly the superstitious obsessions. If I go there, I'll contract a disease or give someone a disease. Not even in a contaminated way. Just like a magical way. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: Mmm, yeah, yeah, it's funny. I don't know when I'm helping people because you just don't know what you know. Just for those who are listening, the Mental illness happy hour is an amazing podcast, and then the host had no idea what OCD was. And so, we did play a game of one up, which is where we kind of, he said something scary. And then I went up. It was something even scarier and even more gruesome and horrible. Was that something that you started practicing on your own just from that episode? Or did you take up his school to follow the whole process? Laura Ryan: A bit of both. I kind of took the one up and… Kimberley Quinlan:  Inflecting. Laura Ryan: I ran because I think it just helped me. so much immediately, and then ERP school was able to lead me through in a more systematic way. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: Okay. Amazing. Oh, I'm so happy that I could be there. It's not so cool. Laura Ryan: Yeah, absolutely. Kimberley Quinlan: It's so cool. Kimberley Quinlan: Especially you're my Aussie friend too. That just brings me so much joy. So as you and I emailed in preparation for this,  you beautifully and eloquently shared some of the pieces. I would love to hear from you if you spoke briefly about how your OCD evolved. Would you be willing to share a little bit about what that looked like for you? Laura Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. Laura Ryan: I had every kind of OCD, so as soon as I started doing ERP, OCD came back with a vengeance with some new topic and… 00:10:00 Laura Ryan: as I think a lot of OCD sufferers know, it can be especially difficult, when a new topic shows up because you don't know what's happening you are unfamiliar with. the sorts of thoughts it's going to throw you, and you don't know how to fight back yet. I remember when it initially switched from this sort of magical thinking superstition to moral OCD.  Laura Ryan: Hit and run OCD, and I've heard stories about OCD sufferers turning themselves in for crimes they didn't commit, and that was absolutely the kind of thing I felt like doing at that point. I was like Laura Ryan:   Although usually, I would panic when I was driving, I would constantly be checking in my rearview mirror, recycling, back driving around, again and again, to make sure I hadn't hidden anyone and then, Laura Ryan:  Yeah, I think it just Really. OCD will fight back. Laura Ryan:  Yeah, absolutely. MANAGING WHACK-A-MOLE OBSESSIONS Kimberley Quinlan: that must have been pretty terrifying for you, though, or demoralizing for you for it to be sort of wack-a-moleing. Whack-a-mole obsessions are when your obsessions are changing from one obsession to another.  Your obsessions will be one up and one down. Switching between obsessions each day or even hour. How did you handle that? Laura Ryan:  um, Laura Ryan:  I think, just I think the main thing was staying in touch with the online community and because Every thought you've had, no matter how crazy it is. Someone else has had it, and someone else has probably done a compulsion. That's Like as, or more embarrassing, is something you've done. Laura Ryan:  Yeah, I always think when I have a thought I met someone else's had this, and then I'll go on like OCD Reddit and find that they have. Kimberley Quinlan:  Right. Absolutely. So so, that's how it evolved. Wait, you shared. Also, Where are you now? Like what does life look like for you now? Having gone through and know, you'd said You'd moved on to getting treatment. What's life like for you Now? What does recovery look like for you? Laura Ryan: So, yeah, I spent the better part of two years just really taking the time to get better. I was doing bits of freelance work, but it shouldn't have been because it was taking me way too long. I wish I'd just given myself permission to rest properly. and I don't know whether this was a part of moral OCD or whether I like to think it's just part of who I am. Still, I didn't want to go back into publishing because I Um felt like I wanted to do a job helping other people, and I especially wanted to give back to the healthcare world. Kimberley Quinlan: It. Laura Ryan: That helped me so much. When I went, I went to the hospital to do an inpatient OCD program. And the people working in the program were obviously psychologists, psychiatrists, and occupational therapists. And so, I wanted to do a course in OT. But Laura Ryan:  Then I saw speech-language, pathology, and I've been doing that course for the last two years, and I'm just about to graduate. So, Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan:  Wow, that's so cool. Does OCD have something to say about you returning to school for that? Like, how did it How did your OCD handle that decision? Laura Ryan: Oh my gosh, it was so. mad at me for picking something that I needed to do hospital placements to complete. Especially being speech-language. I think they called in America speech-language therapists, in hospitals, at least in Australia, there, they see the people with the Like worst neurodegenerative or the scariest diseases, or they've just had a stroke. Like, really, the most triggering things I could have thought of at the start of my journey. And yeah, and like, you have to like to touch them and would never ever have thought that I could have done this a couple of years ago. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. In ERP school, we talk about your hierarchy, right? Like it would have been a 10 out of 10. I'm guessing you're like doing 10 out of 10… Laura Ryan: Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: it's incredible of all the careers; you picked like your 10 out of 10. That's incredible. Right. Yeah. So was that like a decision? Like I'm doing it as an exposure, or is it just like your values led you there to get to that place? Laura Ryan:  It was definitely my values and took me. And my therapist, a lot of coaching to get me through. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan:  Wow, it's so cool. It's so cool. It's like perfect, right? Because it's so often, I hear of people who have the career that they wanted, and their OCB gets in the way, right? You know, there he'll have health anxiety in there, and us or they have their teacher, but they have thoughts of, or pedophilia obsessions and impacts their work. Like you, you went the other direction where you moved into the career after your treatment which is just so cool. I love that you did that. So one thing you shared, Was what you find hard, and I love that you included that piece in what you find hard. So, would you be willing to share, What do you find hard? We talk about It's a beautiful day to do hard things, but What is it? It's okay that things are still hard. What do you find still hard? Laura Ryan: Yeah, I find it now that I have so much functionality back compared to where I was not leaving the house to pretty much do everything that I want and need to, I find it hard to find the motivation to do ERP to kick those last mental compulsions, and those things that kind of still follow me around all day. Yeah, I think. I think now it's less about functionality and now more about doing it to get back that quality of life. Laura Ryan:  which, yeah, I think I often find really hard to  it's much easier to. When you're doing ERP to reason with yourself, oh, I deserve to be able to leave the house and go to the shops. And so that's why I'm doing this thing that feels so awful. But when you're just saying, “Oh, I'm doing this now just because I want to be happy.” It's a lot harder to reason with myself Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah, it's like you said at the beginning and I've heard that many times that if it's not impeding in your functioning, it is easier to sweep it under the rug and cope and not address the problem. And I've heard that many times. So I think that's a really valid point of, you know, a lot of people will say like there's a really strong. Why are they doing the exposures? There's not a strong why it's hard to do it. How are you learning or starting to practice tools to manage what's worked for you? And what hasn't Laura Ryan:  'm getting a lot better at being less of a people pleaser and getting better at not putting everyone else before myself filling up my own cup so that I have some to give to everyone else. Yeah, I'm it is hard, but I'm definitely getting better at doing things because Laura Ryan:  Yeah, if I give myself that, Quality of life. I can be. Even at least I can be if not for me, I can be there better for my family and friends. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. Yeah. Is there you know, if you were to work? I mean, I'm assuming people listening are having similar struggles. Can you walk me through moment to moment how you muster up motivation? Or maybe it's a different experience to get yourself to do. Those exposures? Like, what do their steps involve? Or how do you get to that place? MOTIVATION FOR ERP 00:20:00 Laura Ryan: Yeah, one of my favorite tools is just before I do anything. So if I'm if I've just driven in the car to go somewhere, I will take one minute before I get out of the car, I will take one minute. and just Kind of have a word with myself and OCD, and I'll be like, right, what's OCD? You're going to throw at me. It's going to say this, and then what will I do? I'm going to do this, and then how's OCD going to push back? And then what am I going to do? Like just having a game plan before you do. Kimberley Quinlan: If? Laura Ryan: Functional things for those mental compulsions. Laura Ryan:  I find it's a really Laura Ryan:  it's really helpful for me because I don't have to kind of set aside time and find that motivation to do it. I can just kind of plan and make ERP tasks out of, going to the shops or seeing a friend or  things like that. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah, that's cool. It's, I think of it, like Olympians or, you know, high-performance athletes as they, they do that same thing. They're high performing, you know, the high performers there, they're rehearsing. You know the strategy to get through that really hard moment. It sounds like you're doing something similar there, which is really cool. I'm fascinated by that, sports psychology piece of it, right? I think that's so cool. All right, you had mentioned, which I thought was fascinating, what OCD gave you. Now, this is sort of a controversial topic… Kimberley Quinlan:  Okay. So one of the things that you wrote as we were emailing was what OCD gave you right, which I thought was so fascinating because usually, we hear stories are like, I hate OCD, and it's the worst thing ever. And I hate everything about it, and we even know there's some controversy of some people who have sort of misused OCD. I loved what you had to say. So, would you share it? What were your thoughts regarding what OCD gave you? Laura Ryan:  Yeah, I definitely don't get me wrong. I think OCD is a very unique form of torture, I don't think it's. Yeah, it's horrible. It's absolutely. Yeah, I think. When you said it was one of their Top 10 Most debilitating disorders, you can have either physical or mental. Absolutely. I think it's just Awful. But I think going through treatment gave me this really, really, Laura Ryan:  I was able to see these incredible sides to my family and friends. they were just so, Incredible at every turn and so accepting of something that's really hard to understand. Laura Ryan:  and, Yeah, it's also just constant reminders to follow my values. Like if, if you're having a hard day with OCD, the only thing you can use is to get yourself out of that. is to be like, okay, well, What am I doing? What am I valuing? And the treatment is kind of mindfulness and coming back to Laura Ryan:  What's important? So yeah, I think I'm I'm quite lucky to have those. those treatment principles kind of under my belt because, I think everyone can use them because they're just 00:25:00 Laura Ryan:  Yeah, that's how you have a better life. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah, that's true. It's so true. And you, you talked about your you had sort of a shift in motivation to sort of take care of your health. Was there a shift in that for you? Once you started going through OCD treatment? That was when further beyond just your mental health, Laura Ryan:  yeah, it was it kind of turned into adding in. Meditation moving my body a lot. Laura Ryan:  Yeah, I I remember going down this because I had access to my uni like academic journal database, and I am early on. I went into a lot of obvious research about ERP and OCD. But also SSRIs and exercise. Laura Ryan:  and I think people found Or some people. And at least for me, I find Like, I'm staying on the SSRIs, but exercise is. As effective for me as those. So if I Do them both. It's like supercharges it so good. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. The research backs that doesn't it? So that's so good. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. HOW TO GET THROUGH THE HARD OCD DAYS Kimberley Quinlan: That's so good. All right, the last thing I question I have for you it's just makes me giggle and smile and feel all good. Inside is tell me a little bit about what gets you through the hard things because that's what this is all about, right? That's what our whole message is. What are some of the things that get you through the hard things and the hard days? Laura Ryan:  And definitely remembering my sense of humor. And Kind of encouraging the people around you. Because I'm not as. I'm not super comfortable yet telling my family and friends to You know, help me with exposure tasks, but if you can tell them, they help me laugh about these things. They'll They can people can do that, people know how to, and they want to, and it's really good. Kimberley Quinlan:  Yeah. Laura Ryan:  Yeah, also, if you go on the go on Reddit and look up Reddit OCD memes,  it's the best. It's so good. It's like and John Hershfield's means they're so good, and they Laura Ryan: Again they like they get into these really dark awful themes but then we're laughing at them and I think that's just the fastest way to get power over OCD. Kimberley Quinlan:  Yeah. Laura Ryan: um, Yeah,… Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. Changes the game. Laura Ryan: it's really cool. Definitely. Kimberley Quinlan: Doesn't it right when you find? Yeah, it really really does. And you did talk about the game plan Already. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: You mentioned something called a panic inventory. Do you want to share a little bit about what that is? Laura Ryan:  Yeah, so I hope it's not a kind of reassurance knowing that I can go back and check it, but I never do. And so when I have an intrusive thought, I just write it down in the notes of my phone and it's stops me from doing things like, checking the police news or asking for reassurance, or like, if I have the thought written down, and it's there, and I can think Laura, you can come back to it like it's there. It's not going anywhere. You can come back to it tomorrow or next week, or even just if you can hold off on doing this compulsion for an hour, the thought will still be there. You can still Laura Ryan:  Address it. If it still feels urgent, then and yeah, some of them only last a few minutes, some of them last a few days. But I've never come back to a thought a week later still panicking. Kimberley Quinlan: Mmm, that's cool. It's funny, it makes me think about as With young children, when we're treating young children with OCD, we talk about their OCD box, and they imagine putting their thought up in the box and they leave the box there, not to kind of make the thoughts go away. But just like it's there, you can bring it with you. The box is always with you and… Laura Ryan: Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: we're just not going to let it be there, and we're gonna go about our lives. Anyway, so does it sound like that for you? Is that kind of mindset there? yeah, so that I love that… 00:30:00 Laura Ryan:  Yeah, absolutely. Kimberley Quinlan: because what you're really doing is you're saying I'm willing to let the thought come with me. And I'm gonna be uncertain about it and sort of staying very present. Like, we'll worry about it later, kind of like not that you're planning to worry about it later but she'll deal with it when it needs to be dealt with which is sounds like never Really okay. Laura Ryan: Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: I love that. I love that. Yeah, okay, cool. Kimberley Quinlan:  Anything else that you found to be helpful in getting you to where you are today in this really cool story? PERFECTIONISM AND EXPOSURE & RESPONSE PREVENTION (ERP) Laura Ryan: Yeah, definitely. I think the Perfectionistic side of me thought that every ERP exposure had to be. 10 out of 10. Full-blown panic attack level, but it's At least for me it's only gonna work for insofar as I'm willing to actually feel what it brings up. So Laura Ryan: I think they the best exposures for me are the ones that just feel mildly uncomfortable and even to the point where I'm sitting there and I'm like, Oh, am I, Even bothered by this. Like, it's sometimes I feel like I'm lying or… Kimberley Quinlan:  Mmm. Laura Ryan: Or I don't have OCD or yeah, I think those tiny. Yeah. Like a hundred. Many exposures are way way better than one, one giant one, at least for me. Kimberley Quinlan: Wow. That's cool. I'm so glad you brought that up, and because that is actually, interestingly, I'll share with you when I'm supervising my staff. That's probably one of the biggest questions that my staff come with of like, my client seems to be wanting to do these crazy high hard explosions and it feels like it's sort of compulsive in that they're doing these exposures. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: And I think you're speaking to this really important topic, which is the exposure should Simulate the fear and the uncertainty And so you're saying, I think. But correct me if I'm wrong Doing a small exposure actually simulates in brings on other obsessions and fears along the way. So that's how you're doing your exposures. That's so cool. Is that correct? Laura Ryan: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Kimberley Quinlan:  Yeah, wow. And we say Any happy school. We talk about doing a b minus effort, right? Like not doing it perfectly and sometimes perfect. You know, purposely making an exposure imperfect has, was that a trigger for you? As you went through this process of trying to make the exposures perfect? Yeah. Laura Ryan: Yeah. Absolutely. I remember, I came to my first session with my psychologists, like, with a printed out, hierarchy of like this. Yeah. Everything was scored perfectly and I was ready to work from. Yeah. Number one, to number 10 in and cool. According to the research, we should be done in 12 weeks and then I'll say See you later. That was really… Kimberley Quinlan: You like my schedule,… Laura Ryan: no, it works. Kimberley Quinlan: It says right here. This is how dispersed to go. Right, right. Okay. And it didn't work out that way. No, no that would have been hard to take. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. Yeah, I have loved hearing your story. I'm so grateful that we got to meet in person and connect. You know, it's sort of a full circle moment for me and I hope you know that you should be so proud of the work you've done and how far you've come. Laura Ryan: Thank you so much. Yeah, I can't believe I'm talking to you. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah. I know,… Laura Ryan: Yeah, it's awesome. Kimberley Quinlan: I'm so happy to have you on the show, I really? And that's again, I say it all the time, like it just to know that. That. People can make small but very mighty steps on their own. Is the whole mission here,… Laura Ryan:  Yeah. Kimberley Quinlan: right? Is that just even if it's the first step, I'm so happy if that's the step that people take. So I'm so grateful for you for sharing your story.Laura Ryan:  Thank you so much for having me.

It Just Makes Sense
Episode 120 A Cheerleading Whack Job!

It Just Makes Sense

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 30:24


Episode 120 is a good ole cheerleading murder for hire plot! In Houston in 1991, football was all everyone was talking about.  For Wanda Holloway she wanted her daughter Shanna to become a star cheerleader!  BUT Shanna lost her spot to Amber Heath her biggest rival.  Wanda Holloway hatched a plan to have Amber and her mom Verna whacked but couldn't afford it.  She decided the death of Vern would be enough to throw Amber off her game and fail at tryouts.

The Faster Than Normal Podcast: ADD | ADHD | Health
Can ADHD Keep Us Happy? A Return Visit with Dr. Esme Fuller-Thompson

The Faster Than Normal Podcast: ADD | ADHD | Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 27:26


Professor Esme Fuller-Thomson is cross-appointed to the Faculties of Social Work, Medicine, and Nursing at the University of Toronto. She is also Director of the Institute for Life Course & Aging.  She has published more than 170 articles in peer-reviewed journals including the New England Journal of Medicine, The Lancet, and Cancer. Her research examines ADHD and mental health, the association between early adversities and adult physical and health outcomes, and disparities in health. She has recently been focused on resilience and flourishing mental health.  Her work has widely cited in the media including the New York Times, Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine and CNN. We're thrilled to welcome her back and hear about her latest research in our last episode of 2022. Thank you for joining us all year long! We hope you have a happy, healthy and safe holiday season, everyone. Enjoy!  In this episode Peter and Professor Esme Fuller-Thomson discuss:   01:20 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing! 01:15 - Intro and welcome back Dr. Esme Fuller-Thomson! 01:57 - Since our last visit HERE, she has completed some new research on Anxiety and ADHD 03:00 - Women with ADHD were 5x more prone to anxiety, compared to women without ADHD 04:20 - What is the percentage of researchers who study ADHD and Anxiety? 05:45 - On budget, finance and anxiety + ADHD 07:17 - Are you one of the people perhaps more at risk for anxiety? Ref: Research Aug. 31, 2021 08:00 - ADHD and finding moderation with controlled substances/impulse control 09:40 - And now for the new good news!  11:00 - Ref: Corey Keys at Emory University and his three pillars of “Excellent Mental Health” 13:00 - More than 2 out of 5 are flourishing w/ excellent mental health; how do we get more of us here? 15:12 - On keeping perspective and not hyper-focusing on the bad stuff. 17:25 - A look at the factors in the study of those flourishing with ADHD 18:29 - 300 years ago, exercise was a mandatory part our daily life because we needed it to simply exist 19:40 - People who use spirituality to cope w/ their day to day troubles were much more likely to be in complete mental health. 20:43 - Point | Counterpoint on relationships and marriage 21:17 - Happiness and chronic pain 22:00 - Remember, just a few years ago it was still rare for Women to get an ADHD diagnosis 23:56 - What is CBT and can it be helpful? Ref: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy  00:00 - How can people find more about you?  Just type in Fuller-Thompson + ADHD, HERE on Google Scholar, or via https://socialwork.utoronto.ca/profiles/esme-fuller-thomson/ 25:00 - Thank you Esme! 25:18 - “Thank you Peter for what you do for the whole community of people with ADHD. We all appreciate it!!” 25:28 - The Faster Than Normal book is still being printed, and this is awesome, THANK YOU and I'm so happy it's helping!!!!   26:07 - Happy Holidays!!  Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you'd like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We'd love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!  26:35 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. — TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat: [00:00:40] Peter: High, high, high. Hope you're well. This will probably be last episode will be recorded before Christmas and the holiday break. I hope that you are all going somewhere warm or if. You are doing something that keeps you busy or maybe going somewhere cold if you live in a warm area right now, like to all my friends in Australia anyway, I'm not, I'm in New York City, it's 12 degrees or some crap like that. Um, I am getting outta here later in the week for about a week and, and gonna bury my head in the sand somewhere warm. So that's nice. Anyway, we have a g returning guest. We. Esme. Okay, I gotta stop you right here. Cause first of all, you understand I love this person. This person is one of the few people who's out there doing hardcore research on girls, women, and adhd. So I want to welcome back Esme Fuller Thompson, Dr. Esme Fuller Thompson. She's an incredible guest. We had her right, we think about God two or three years ago, I think it was pre pandemic. So it's wonderful to have you back as we welcome and you got tons of new stuff to talk about.  [00:01:36] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Absolutely. And some of it is really positive because last time I came it was all about the negatives. And I still have some, I remember. Yeah. But I promised you that I had in the works, um, some research on flourishing among h adhd. So do you wanna start with the bad stuff or the good stuff? Which one?  [00:01:52] Peter: Let's get the bad stuff outta the way.  [00:01:54] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Okay, so, um, when I was with you, which I think was about two years ago, we were talking a lot about women with h ADHD which is dear to my heart. Um, I think it's a neglected population. People really haven't been looking at it, but we, we, in that time we talked about, um, depression and suicidality. But we didn't really know very much about anxiety. So I worked on a paper that came out, um, uh, almost a year ago on generalized anxiety disorder among A D H D and life. It, it's not too surprising that the rates are higher among people, um, with adhd cause life is anxiety producing because things are sometimes quite chaotic, right? So yes, indeed. Um, We found that people with A D H D had four times higher odds of anxiety disorders compared to their peers without [00:02:52] Peter: Wow. Four times higher odds of anxiety disorders when you have ADHD. Wow.  [00:02:57] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Yes. Yeah, so I mean, I was expecting maybe double, but. Four times and it's women. Insane. Were even worse. Women, women with a adhd were five times compared to women without h adhd. Now these are young, relatively young, like 20 to 39 year olds. And um, ooh, you know, that, that, that's hard. It's hard to, to manage. Uh, that doesn't mean that they actually have it necessarily at this moment, but they've had anxiety disorders. So some have overcome it, but, but it's, um, it's a significant barrier that, that a lot of people with a d h ADHD have to go through. And as I said, women have, um, a harder time with it even than men, even though women in general have higher anxiety., Women with ADHD proportionately are doing worse than women without ADHD compared to men with ADHD versus men without, so interesting. It's, it's, uh, it's a real issue and I think it's neglected. I don't think, I think the other behaviors, you know, the, the depression and substance abuse, those ones tend to get more attention, but anxiety can be crippling. And I think we need to think about it as, as clinicians and also as as people with A D H D and, and also people who love people with A D H D, that keeping an eye on that anxiety and thinking about interventions to help with it because there are some really good interventions.  [00:04:18] Peter: I know for a lot of people who are getting help with A D H D and they're getting help, uh, you know, whether it's medication, whether it's, uh, D B T or whatever, you know, there are a lot of. What do you think the percentage of of psychologists or or therapists are that put together the link between ADHD and anxiety?  [00:04:38] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Well, certainly I know with, um, some of my research on women and other people's research that women are much less likely to get the correct diagnosis and Right. So they might have, they, so sometimes they might be that anxiety or the depression or flagged and they haven't put it together that it's A D H D. If people are brought in young, uh, be maybe because of school related stuff for A D H D, they may not be screening for, um, depression or anxiety. So it's, I what I, my plug is if you have people presenting with anxiety and depression, think about A D H D. If you have, um, have patients or clients with a D H D think about depression and anxiety. Not that everybody has it, and we'll get the good news at the end. But it is more, much more likely to occur. And among those with, uh, among women are more vulnerable than men. But there's other things too. Um, low income is very anxiety producing, whether you have ADHD or not.  [00:05:40] Peter: Wondering, and I completely, I mean that, that's a given. There's no question about that.  [00:05:43] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Absolutely. But, People with A D H D may have harder time managing budgets and, and making sure that the money makes it all the way through to the end of the month. And so that, that's very anxiety producing. So now going from middle class to upper class, that doesn't make a huge difference. But being really close to the line and not having enough to make ends meet is desperately anxiety Produc. Yep.  [00:06:11] Peter: I believe it. And what's interesting is that I think, you know, especially now in this sort of worldwide financial crisis we're in, you know, that certainly doesn't help. It's, it's tough enough when, when we're all doing moderately well, [00:06:22] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Yes. Yeah. So, uh, I, now, my, I should have comment that my research is based on, uh, representative samples, but before the pandemic, right? So everybody got more anxious, more depressed, and more, you know, during the depress the, um, pandemic and being locked at home is. Great for people who like a lot of the stimulation and activities. So I'm guessing that these estimates are perhaps, um, underestimates of the magnitude of the problem in probably, yeah. The pandemic. So I, I, as I said, there'll be a while before we get that kind of information out, but it seems logical to think it's not getting better anyway.  [00:07:06] Peter: Hmm. Unreal. Unreal. , but you said you had good news. [00:07:11] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: All right, well let me just finish the other people at risk, cuz those are kind of Okay. More, more bad news. Let's go over that. More bad news. Okay. Um, so the, uh, people who had more close relationships were much less likely to have anxiety. So almost every study I've done in ADHD, social support, having a confidant, having, uh, a spouse on your side. All of those things are really, really protective. So, um, the idea of building and building a so social support network and reaching out to that network and investing in it really helps on all those fronts. Um, . And then the, uh, the other negative news in August in 2021, I published on substance use disorder. And we touched on this briefly, I think two years ago when we talked about it, but some people, uh, uh, we found that people with A D H D were much more likely to have had a substance use disorder at some point in their life. And we're looking at 20 to 39 year olds and. Almost half had a substance use disorder. I don't think that'll be too surprising to you having talked with so many of your guests, but Yeah, not at all. So the issue is, I mean, some people are able to consume in moderation, but people with A D H D are probably many of them. find Moderation a hard piece. It's kind of an all nothing piece.  [00:08:35] Peter: People are able to, people with ADHD are some are able to consume with, what'd you say? [00:08:39] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: With moderation? Say, oh, I'll just have a glass. But that's,  [00:08:42] Peter: why are you, why are you making up words? I've never heard this word. Moderation. What is that?  [00:08:48] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: So my point is that, um, among people with substance use issues and a D H D and impulse control issues, perhaps abstinence is a good strategy. Not, you know, some people can do it without the abstinence kind of piece, but, um, You know, it, it can get you into, if you have impulse control and drinking and drink, this is all types, uh, it's higher for everything, cannabis, uh, heavy drugs and alcohol. So, um, generally the. The idea is that, uh, A D H D makes it harder to manage, uh, substances in general and makes you more vulnerable to, um, addictions. So that makes perfect sense. Yeah, totally makes sense. So those are the bad news, but can I get to the good news? Can I share with you,  [00:09:39] Peter: for God's sake? Yes. [00:09:40] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: After all of this. Okay. So, So, uh, you know, I'm, I'm more than a quarter century into my career, and so I, I have spent the first 20 some years looking at negative things, depression, anxiety, um, uh, suicidality, and, you know, that's a bit of a Debbie Downer. When you go to parties and you say, oh, what do you do? I'm looking at depression, anxiety, thanks, geez. But, and then, but it's a little bit of. Whack-a-Mole Pro, uh, uh, problems, you know, that little kid's game where it's politics of course. Yeah. Very, uh, politically incorrect, where just spit poor moles on the head and yeah, one goes down and the other pops up. So, you know, here I am, I'm like, okay, I'm focusing on say A D H D and anxiety. And so, you know, you think about interventions and many really good interventions and maybe anxiety goes down, but depression pops up or maybe depression goes down and substance abuse pops up. So, um, I, I started thinking, well, I need to really look at it holistically. And if I said to you, how are you doing today? And you said, I'm not suicidal. Well, that's not really where we want you to be. We want you to be flourishing, right? So, um, I started looking around and there's an amazing researcher at Emory University called Corey Keys, and he came up with this concept. Excellent mental health. So when I ask you what does mental health mean to you? Not just it's, it's the absence of mental illness. Sure. But that's not really enough. Just not being suicidal or not being depressed. It's really more than that. So his idea has, Three pillars. The first one is, no mental illness in the past year. No substance dependence, no um, depression, no anxiety, no bipolar, and no serious suicidal thought. So that's a great place that's getting you to, that's pillar one is getting you to neutral, which is great. Um, and certainly if people are, are, are, have any of those issues, getting them out of that is, is your first plan as a clinician or as a family member. But then, then pillar two. How often in the last month have you been happy? And you have to say every day or almost every day. Like if you're just happy twice a week, it doesn't make it. And they also ask how, how often you are satisfied with your life and you have to be daily or almost daily. So you can see that one of you have to be at least one of these. So pillar two is happy or satisfied on an almost daily level. So no mental illness and you're happy and satisfied. And then pillar three is about psychological wellbeing and social wellbeing. I have warm and supportive relationships. Life is getting better for peace pull. Like me, I like most parts of my personality. And in the last month you have to agree to the majority of those six of the 11 questions. at least, uh, daily or almost daily. You have to agree to that. So this is really, really, really high, right? You're not mentally ill. You have no substance dependence, you have no suicidal thoughts. You're happy and or satisfied, and you have warm and you, you have great social or psych and or psychological wellbeing. Like, isn't this what we're hoping for?  [00:12:54] Peter: Yeah, one would think,  [00:12:56] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: all right, so among those with ADHD, this is a really, really high bar. More than two and five are flourishing, are absolutely flourishing, are hitting this incredibly high bar.  [00:13:12] Peter: Interesting, interesting. That's more than two and okay. . I wouldn't, I would not have thought that ,  [00:13:20] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: neither would I. And in fact, when I talk to anybody else, they all say, oh no, it's gotta be 10% or something like that. But, and you know, some of the blame is to us who are researchers, cuz we've just focused on the negatives. Like I started the conversation with, but without looking at, well there are some people who are completely free of mental illness and are flourishing, and why don't we spend more time thinking about who those people are and how they got there and how can we help more people get to that point.  [00:13:51] Peter: Really, really interesting thoughts. I, you know, it's interesting. I think that a lot of, and I mean, look, I, I'm not the doctor you are, but I think there's, I wonder if a part of the reason that people with A D H D tend to find themselves in positive spaces more often is because, , we're very, very good at changing the subject. In other words, we're in a bad mood for as long as that bad mood can hold our attention. .  [00:14:16] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Okay, well, so fine. But, but at least, at least, uh, almost daily in the past month, uh, past week, months, uh, you have to have been happy. So you're saying the, it's the, uh, [00:14:28] Peter: well, cause you have, you have to be happy 24 7. I mean, no one's happy. No, no,  [00:14:32] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: no, no. You have, just have to have happy. Right. Yeah. Or you have, you have happy moments. Oh, well then, now I have to admit that people with a d, ADHD have a much lower rate than people without H adhd. But I, my, what I was focusing on, and I think, I think partly as we said, because we do all this negative research about all the negatives, people feel that they are, they don't have in front of them our potential to flourish. That they, you know, that, that that is not a trajectory for them. And I'm saying, wow, many, many, many people are getting to that incredibly high level of functioning and just, you know, life is good.  [00:15:12] Peter: Yeah. It's really, you know, it's fascinating. I think that that, you know, we spend a lot of time complaining. Oh, this is this and this. I mean, we got on the phone today, Peter, how you been? Oh my God, these last six months. You know, but, but in retrospect it's not bad. It's, there's day-to-day annoyances in the minutiae, but. , I'm here. I have my health. I'm, I'm, I'm my kid's doing well, you know, all those kinda things. I'm happy and, and I think that I at least look. Again, I'm, I'm looking at a sample of, of one or maybe two here, but I think that A D H D helps you stay happy because there's constantly something exciting. Something shiny just over the next hill. I know it sounds ridiculous. [00:15:59] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: No, but life is, I mean, let's be honest, it's fun to hang around with people with adhd, life, Ising. Right?  [00:16:06] Peter: Well, it's fun to hang around with people with adhd as long as those people with ADHD are on the right path or understand their path. I think that that there have been times when I've hung out with people who were probably undiagnosed adhd. You know, I take, I, I, I turn my head for a second. I look back and everyone's railing fat lines of cocaine. So I think that ADHD does have some negatives there in terms of the fun of hanging out with them. But yes, I mean, you know, my, my girlfriend tells me constantly that the reason, one of the reasons she, she, she loves hanging out is she never knows what's gonna happen next. You know, we're, we're sitting in a cafe one day and the next day we're flying somewhere because I read an article about a waterpark or whatever. So I think. You know, you have to, you have to sort of know yourself, but yes, I totally get that.  [00:16:53] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Mm-hmm. , so, so again, this was based on a sample, a representative sample of Canadians prior to the pandemic. So I'm pretty confident that the way that data was gathered, it's a really solid national study. So I'm, I'm, I'm confident with those numbers. But I wanted to talk a little bit about what was a hindrance or a help. Apparently I looked at what, what we call the factors associated with A D H D. So what are the characteristics of those, sorry, factors associated with flourishing among those with A D H D. Okay. And so, alright, right, let's just talk about it. Physical activity. I know this is one of your things. If you were pH physically active, they were four times more likely to be in the state of flourishing four times.  [00:17:40] Peter: I'm sorry that that's just a, that's just duh. Of course you, you, you, you box for an hour. You go for a run, you're chock full of do you're high as a kite. Of course you're gonna be happier and at the very least you're gonna be happier. Cause, cause it's over, You did it,  [00:17:54] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: but our, our lifestyle is not conducive to exercise. It's an effort. It's an organi. You have to be organized, you have to get out, you have to do exercise. The, the way you know modern life is it's easier to sit on your couch and it's hard to get that momentum to get up and out, but, Boy, oh boy. Four times the odds. This is, this is a winner. do not pass Go without exercise. Right.  [00:18:21] Peter: Well, you know what's interesting and that brings up a whole nother series of, of questions. One of the reasons that A D H D you might argue, and again, uh, this could be an argument. One of the reasons a d ADHD has flourished in the past a hundred years, um, is because 300 years ago, 400 years ago, exercise was part of our daily life because we needed to exist. Right. We exercised cause we'd exercise, we wouldn't catch. The, the, the, the, the, the Saber tooth tiger and have dinner. Right? And then we discovered farming, and then we realized we didn't have to walk so much. So the the premise of, you know, having all your food delivered by a messenger, by a, by a, by a GrubHub, um, that's a relatively new concept for our brains. Our brains are, are very, very slow creatures. So that, that's a very, very big part of it. You know, I would be willing to argue that that ADHD or, you know, People were probably a bit happier back then because they had to exercise, they had to work out, or they didn't exist.  [00:19:09] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: Yeah, absolutely. So now it's an effort you have to put . Structured in your day that you're gonna get to exercise. But this is, you know, I almost never see odds this high, like do this four times. You know, usually something improves it maybe 20%. If you're really, really lucky, it doubles it. But four times. Wow. This is a keeper for sure. You know? Now. Um, the other thing that was really interesting, and I haven't done much research on it, but um, I'd love to do more people who use spirituality to cope with their day to day troubles. Were much more likely to be in complete mental health.  [00:19:51] Peter: Say it. Say that again, slower.  [00:19:53] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: So, people who use spirituality or religion, so it may be an organized religion, or it might be spirituality as well. Okay. And if it was very protective. So people who use spirituality were much more likely to be in this happy sat life, satisfied, mentally healthy space. [00:20:10] Peter: Okay. I believe that if you think there's something bigger than you, regardless of what it is,  [00:20:15] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: all right, now, the and. And also that you have something to turn to, right? So that you have some right, and it, it's concenter as well. I mean, I don't know exactly why. I just know when you had do these sort of survey research, you don't know the reasons, you just know the association. So, but, um, being married is very protective and I think that's getting back to the confidant, having people on your side, um, and possibly to stabilize you too .  [00:20:43] Peter: Well, and you know.. There, there are, there, there are outliers of all different studies. Yes. Some not as, some, not as accurate as others, but No, I hear what you're saying. Um, I don't, I don't fit into that. But, um, I would, I would argue the caveat of with the right person.,  [00:20:59] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: right? I would definitely, um, and also, and I mean, being married or being in a, in a committed relationship kind of thing is helpful. Um, if it's, if you're right, if it's with the right person. And the thing is, when you do rep representative samples, usually the ones who aren't with the right person may no longer be with them. So I you don't see them in your analysis. Right. Um, now, Not, again, this is another no-brainer, but people who were in chronic pain were less likely to be in complete mental health. Now that seems completely obvious, but I was surprised how many people, these are relatively young people with ADHD are in chronic pain, perhaps because it risk taking behaviors or i, I don't know why, but, um, that's worth getting treated. You know, you've got your mental health stuff going on, but there's, if there's physical pain, Life is really hard and it's hard to be happy with it. Right. Um, and, uh, again, my poor women with h d they're less likely to be flourishing than men with h d, which is in keeping with all the, the higher prevalence of the negative things that we talked about earlier. Right. Um, so they're less likely to be all, um, completely flourishing. , you know, still many women were, but it's just, um, women with ADHD seem to be struggling more. Um, but there's a couple reasons for that. It's because, so remember I, this study was done almost 10 years ago, so women with a d d were not diagnosed very often. So I have a feeling that the women in my study who were diagnosed with adhd, they were probably fairly far along the spectrum with ADHD to actually get the diagnosis. So they may be. They may be, um, worse off than the av the average woman who would be worse off than the average man just because the people with milder symptoms would, uh, women can often, uh, mask the symptoms better than men because, especially girls, and so they were less likely to be diagnosed. So I have a feeling the women that we have, We're, we're pretty far along, and maybe that's why they're doing poorly. But it may be, it's just there may be less acceptance for women with ADHD related symptoms in society too. Um, we're still working on why women are vulnerable and trying to get a picture of that. But, uh, when more and more women are getting, um, diagnosed, I think there'll be, um, There'll be more understanding and more interventions. And then the other thing I just wanted to talk about, and I, I plugged this ev every time I talk to, uh, uh, you know, people with, uh, ADHD and any mental health CRI crisis. So even though though two 42% were doing really well that means that, you know, a little bit more than half had at least one of these other problems that that wasn't flourishing to the extent that they would like to, or we would all like them to. So, um, I just wanted to suggest that cognitive behavioral therapy, it's also called CBT is relatively short, relatively in inexpensive. It's a, it's a form of talk therapy. You can have it in a group session, eight weeks to 16 weeks, and it's been shown with people with A D H D and people with depression and people with anxiety and people with substance dependence. It's really, really helpful and what it does is it helps you capture your dysfunctional thoughts. So if you're telling yourself negative messages, which you may have heard in childhood, oh, you can't do this. You know, you're never gonna achieve. You tell yourself these types of messages many times an hour, that is gonna pull your, your mood down, your ability to function. So it helps you grab these thoughts and look at them objectively and reevaluate. And it can, it's, it really is kind of almost like you're reprogramming your own brain with more positive messaging, and that is helpful for, for almost every negative mental health outcome and certainly promotes better mental health.  [00:25:02] Peter: No question about it. What a phenomenal interview. We're well passed our time but that was totally worth it. Thank you, Esme it's wonderful to have you back. As always, [00:25:11] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: my pleasure.  [00:25:11] Peter: You're welcome here anytime you want. Really, really good stuff. Thank you again for taking the time. It's, it's great to talk to you again [00:25:18] Dr.Fuller-Thompson: And thank you Peter for what you do for the whole community of people with ADHD. We all appreciate it.  [00:25:24] Peter: That means a lot. Thank you. Okay guys. Fast than normal is for you. And I got some good news actually. So it turns out that Faster Than Normal, the book, which most of you know about and have read and probably brought you here, um, is still printing. It's, it's gone into like it's fourth or something, printing, and I've written five books and all five books I've gotten advances on, right? Uh, progressively more and more money. And then this Faster Than Normal I get a really nice advance and I thought, wow, there's a really nice advance. There's no way I'll ever make it back because I've never made an advance back in any of my previous. I beat my advance for Faster Than Normal. So, so finally, like five years later, I am actually earning royalties and, and I owe that to everyone who has ever listened to everyone who has ever bought a copy of Fast Than Normal. Thank you. It means the world to me.  We will see you again next week. We actually probably won't because next week is a holiday. We're probably gonna take a couple weeks off and we'll be back in the new year. We have, uh, sponsors coming up. We have new sponsors for the for the podcast. Lot of cool stuff. New guests, amazing guests, amazing repeat guests like Esme. Lots of people coming on the podcast, so, so stay tuned. As always, Faster Than Normal is for you. A D H D. All sorts of neurodiversity can be gifts as long as you know how to use them. Have a safe and wonderful holiday guys. We will see you soon. Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you in January- Happy Holidays!! 

Marsha's Plate: Black Trans Podcast
#250 Crack Is Whack

Marsha's Plate: Black Trans Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2022 104:23


On Today's Menu on Marsha's Plate #250 We talk about the crack epidemic of the 90s and reparations in California Chasing Threads Podcast https://soundcloud.com/chasingthreads Listen on all streaming Platforms https://pod.link/1293033444 Diamond Stylz Artist Initiative https://gofund.me/81780bfe Support Black Trans Women https://Blacktranswomen.org/donate Black Trans Women Support https://blacktranswomen.org/empowerher-support/ We have merch as well if you wanna support Marsha's Plate https://teespring.com/stores/marshasplate https://linktr.ee/MarshasPlate #marshasplate #girlslikeus #boyslikeus #transgender #podcast #podsincolor #podernfamily #transisbeautiful #houston #lgbt #transmen #transwomen #blackfeminism #trans101 #trans #blacktranswomen #blacktransmen #houstonpride #indiepodcast #blacktranslivesmatter #lgbtqia #lgbtq #genderidentity #pride #blackgirlmagic #blackboyjoy #podcast

Bipolar Recorder
29. Hunter's Holiday Crisis And Whack Drug Relapse

Bipolar Recorder

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 52:00


Hunter Keegan checks in after a couple weeks of silence with some hardcore and sobering news and a recent story from his own wild bipolar life. See below for Hunter's super dope projects that he mentions throughout this podcast installment: Hunter's Hypomanic Presentation For Hollywood Bigshots: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiXOkz6aRd8&t=21s Hunter's Latest Solo Album, Midnight Dazzle Of The Fireflies: open.spotify.com/album/3hN35NbIzD…JdTCWXh_zaQA6S4Q Hunter's Song Inspired By Dianne Arbus, "Cradle": open.spotify.com/track/3ioaWj5xBA…656ccce5e9b845eb Hunter's 2020 Memoir, "My Brain Is Trying To Kill Me": www.amazon.com/My-Brain-Trying-K…-Me/dp/B08BDYHTGR Hunter's 2021 Non-Fiction Short Story, "Alice Head Creeps": www.amazon.com/Alice-Head-Creeps…books%2C75&sr=1-1 Hunter's full portfolio/website: hhkeegan.com Follow Hunter on Twitter @HHKeegan Follow Bipolar Recorder on Twitter @BipolarRecorder Tell your friends about this podcast! Visit bipolarrecorder.com to support the show. Stay safe.

The Ben Maller Show
Hour 1 - Mac is Whack

The Ben Maller Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2022 36:14


Ben Maller talks about the Patriots losing big to the Bills at home and if the Patriots have a Mac Jones problem, what this game tells us about New England, NFL Pick'em, and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Big Lash Energy
#30 The Past Few Years Have Been Whack… Let's Get our Mojo Back!

Big Lash Energy

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 30:10


Have you ever started a sentence with “I used to…before Covid”? Have you traded your stilettos for sweatpants? Are you feeling depleted, overwhelmed, or frumpy? If so, You may have lost your mojo! The time is up! We've gone long enough without our sexy spark. Whatever the reason for the blow to your mojo slipping away since 2019 lets slam on the brakes and turn it around for a super sexy 2023. Leave the crocs and sweats behind and tune in as Jayna jumps into the 4 relationships we have with our own sexual energy, as well as her prescription of 4 things we can all do to jumpstart that sexy feeling right now. Let's get you feeling tantalising in your G-Strings and booty shorts. No one else can hype you up as you can, it's an inside job, so listen in for a few tips on how to feel like your real sexy self, give it a try! What's the worst that can happen? You might just turn yourself on or get a free coffee.    If you have a hilarious story about the hit your mojo has taken or the lengths you are going to to get it back that you think we need to hear,  please email us at Jayna@biglashpodcast.com to share your story.  If you want to connect with us, you can reach us at Jayna@biglashpodcast.com  Don't forget to follow us on INSTAGRAM!  https://www.instagram.com/jaynamariemakeup/   Check out our WEBSITE: https://www.hellojayna.com/biglashenergypodcast   Join our email list to be a #BLEBestie!  Sign Up NOW! https://www.hellojayna.com   Our not-so-secret goal is to create a tribe of badass women who find beauty in the messiest parts of life. We're learning and laughing as we go! Come join us!  Share this podcast with your friends, so we can grow this tribe together! 

Old Radio Shows
WHACK-O - The Grange School For Boys - UK COMEDY

Old Radio Shows

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2022 29:40


Visit our store for more shows Audioshows.e-junkie.com We have all of the Classics and More Dad's Army , Round the Horne , Take it from Here, Benny Hill , Beyond Our Ken , Navy Lark, Westerns and many many more are being added day by Day. Instant Old radio Shows for Instant Downloads. at fantastic Prices Classic Old Radio Show Comedy Downloads Whack-O! featured the wonderful Jimmy Edwards as Professor James Edwards. Prof Edwards is one of the great characters of sitcom, an unapologetic, scheming drunk, who constantly runs rings around his fellow masters and thinks nothing of cheating and manipulating charges and colleagues alike. Teachers v Pupils is standard fare throughout film and TV, but usually it's like St Trinians - we're on the side of the kids. Whack-O! brilliantly realised that adults wanted to see a teacher prevail, particularly when the teacher in question was a charming sociopath.

RBN Energy Blogcast
Why, Encore Edition - What's Throwing the Distillates Market Out of Whack?

RBN Energy Blogcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2022 13:35


More Than a Pretty Face
Hack or Whack: Rating Viral Tiktok Beauty Advice!

More Than a Pretty Face

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2022 26:19


TikTok is buzzing with viral beauty videos but should you believe the hype? Dr. Azi and Nurse Lacie rate popular beauty hacks on social media and tell you which tips to try or trash! The two also discuss: Dandruff shampoo as a face cleanser Duct tape for blackheads Poor vacuum for plumper lips DIY dermarolling dangers! Hydrogen peroxide risks Wound care 101  Submit your questions for the podcast to Dr. Azi on Instagram @morethanaprettyfacepodcast, @skinbydrazi, on YouTube and on Tik Tok @skinbydrazi. Shop skincare at https://azimdskincare.com/  and learn more about the practice at https://www.lajollalaserderm.com/ The content of this podcast is for entertainment, educational, and informational purposes and does not constitute formal medical advice. © Azadeh Shirazi, MD FAAD.

Windy City Slam
Life and times of Billy Whack

Windy City Slam

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 61:38


Windy City Slam Podcast welcomed legendary Chicago wrestling personality Billy Whack and we discuss the rise and fall of the LWF (Lunatic Wrestling Federation) from its underground origins to becoming legitimate in 1997, his time with Pro Wrestling Blitz, relationship with the Kross family, his love for 1980s and 1990s toys (including Masters of the Universe) and his upcoming “Night of the SUPERWRESTLERS” project. Plus, Mike recaps a red-hot weekend of action, including an in-depth report from All Heel Wrestling's “WrestleHaven,” plus Chicago Style Wresling, Freelance Wrestling, Freelance Underground and AEW Full Gear and a preview of this weekend's action, including AAW Pro. Mike Pankow is a wrestling super-fan who covers local Chicagoland wrestling and national promotions like AEW and WWE. If there is something going on in Chicago, Mike knows about it. Enjoy "Wrestling, Chicago-Style" on The Broadcast Basement On-Demand Radio Network! Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com. Get your local wrestling fix every Tuesday everywhere podcasts can be found and always at WindyCitySlam.com!

Steamy Stories Podcast
Life As A New Hire: part 6

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022


Cáel deals with wounds, lies and the clash of cultures.By FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the podcast at Steamy Stories.The words ‘I love you’ inspires joy, relief and terror.I missed my entry to the infirmary. I was returned to clarity by the two female attendants. The younger went straight to cutting my left pants leg off while the oldest Amazon I’d seen to date began an excellent rendition of 'beef’ inspector while pretending to be a physician. It was almost hilarious when she looked to Sydney, addressing her in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Was he being disciplined, or did he do something stupid?”“I did something stupid,” I griped. “I showed up to work today.” Since it was their native tongue, both of the medical attendants’ eyes bugged out.“He volunteered to help Aya of Epona with her archery lessons by letting her shoot at a fruit out of his hand,” Sydney related.“This…this isn’t a wound caused by a practice arrow,” the physician observed.“No, that was from Leona of Marda. She attempted to kill him. When Leona threatened his controller, he presented himself for slaughter,” Sydney clarified. “Hayden stopped Leona, Leona disobeyed and we need to plan Leona’s funerary arrangements now.”“How did you come to speak our language?” the junior attendant asked. The tone of her voice and the look in her eyes was chilling and sensual at the same time. It was chilling because of the transformation she went through as I went from a piece of equipment to a close approximation of a human being in her eyes. I was getting tired.“Erotic poetry,” I humored her. “I had a lover some time ago - a scholar - who wanted to share Old King…Amazon love poetry and songs in the voices of their creators. I know multiple languages no longer spoken.”#Your eyes are stolen from the waterfalls descending from the highest mountains##Your hair robbed from the threads of the night sky##Your body is shaped by the Mother Rivers##Your beauty is the gift of the Goddess who knows both tears and love#I recited it in the original Chaldean Babylonian. They were all staring at me, so I translated it into Hittite. It didn’t flow as smoothly.“What language was that in?” the security guard inquired.“Chaldean Babylonian. It is a love poem from a prince to his dead wife,” I answered.“It was nice, even eloquent,” Sydney remarked.“Wow,” I sighed. “It is tragic to think not a single woman in this room has ever been romanced.”“I am pretty sure every woman in this room has been with a man before,” the security guard countered.“After sex, what did the two of you talk about?” I regarded her.“That’s not what we use men for,” the doctor spoke up while she began examining my wound. Pain. “We use artificial insemination and surrogates for procreation. Beyond directing them in our physical stimulation, there is no need to talk to men.”“Oh,” I mused sadly. “That makes sense and is richly rewarding to know. If I was more like the rest of you, I’d be laughing. Unfortunately, I have a heart and compassion, so I’ll pity you all instead.” The doctor didn’t take my honestly well. “Ow! Good bedside - Ow! - manner there, Doc.”“We don’t need your pity,” the security guard threatened.“Sure, but then I’ve not bred myself into extinction out of fear of cuddling either,” I grinned. “Treating men like livestock makes sense - if you are evil. You refused to allow yourselves to get attached to any male so it would be easier to kill us when our time came.”“Tread carefully,” Sydney cautioned me.“Okay Sydney. Since you are the only female present capable of having offspring, I’ll be good,” I got in my parting shot. By the silence in the room, I had hit the nail on the head. “I apologize for disturbing you ladies. I’ll be a good male and keep my mouth shut.”That declaration didn’t last long. Apparently pain-killers were not part of their medical credo. When I asked, the doctor implied I wasn’t hurt nearly enough - in other words, not being amputated or decapitated. I asked if being castrated would earn me a hammer to the head. They smiled. They thought I was a funny guy once more. It was the whole 'laugh at death’ mystique again.This tender, motherly moment was punctuated by the doctor’s application of the staple gun (instead of stitches) to both entry and exit wounds. Sydney offered to give me something to bite down on. I insisted on sharing my pain as I screamed my lungs out during the torturous procedure.“I thought you were a tough guy,” the security guard sneered.“And not screaming would have made me tough? Bitch, those are some fucked-up priorities. Screaming meant I didn’t jolt when she was stapling my wounds shut. I’ve been stabbed and stitched enough to know that much,” I glared.The assistant had been walking her hands over my body during the process.“You have been stabbed fourteen times,” she muttered.“You missed the one on the right foot,” I corrected.“You’ve been stabbed fifteen times? What do you do?” Sydney wondered.“I date women. You are a surprisingly dangerous breed, even without the extreme training you ladies possess,” I confessed. “To be concise, I have the bad habit of dating women and their friends, acquaintances, and even family members - usually without their knowledge. It always ends badly - thus the wounds.”“You betray the women you sleep with?” the doctor stared.“We could banter terms and expectations about, but essentially 'yes’, I do,” I sighed.“You seemed like such a well-behaved male,” the security guard looked confused.“Huh? What does my love of sex have to do with my demeanor?” I mused.“I’ve never beat a lover, or forced myself on a woman. If you want to hold my lack of forthrightness against me, please remember you are part of a secret society that embraces kidnapping, rape and slaughter as daily practices,” I smiled. “Comparatively, me not telling one woman that I’m dating her neighbor is small potatoes.”“We do what we do out of necessity,” the doctor insisted.“That flimsy excuse is about as useful as 'you wouldn’t understand; you aren’t a woman/amazon/nutty-nut bar,” I shook my head. “I give up. Your society has equaled, if not exceeded, every inhuman deed men have ever committed.”“Congratulations; you have become crueler and more depraved than your enemies,” I lauded them.“Because of your ignorance, I will let that outburst go unpunished,” Sydney stated. I wised up and shut up.My shirt was returned and they had to synch a large towel around my waist because my jeans were ruined and they didn’t have scrubs in my size. They gave me my bloody dockers too. Sydney walked me to the front entrance. By the looks of the women we passed they knew something had happened, if not the precise nature.Security’s opportunity to 'get me’ on the way out was stymied by Caitlyn & family, Desiree, Tigger, and Buffy hanging around. The moment Aya saw me, she called out my name and came running. The only thing worse than the pain of her impacting me would have been the look on her face if I warded her off. I caught her in my arms and lifted her up.“Cáel,” she exclaimed. “Does it hurt?” I kept lifting her until I blew loudly on her belly.“Does that hurt?” I teased her.“No,” she giggled.“Then I’m fine. Really now, I’ve been hurt worse by a splinter from a toothpick,” I exaggerated for her.“You are lying to me,” Aya shook her finger in my face.“The lesson being 'don’t lie to winners’,” I sighed.“Yep,” Aya mimicked me. “Is our date for tonight still going to happen?”“Oh…Aya, I can’t,” I groaned. “I’ve got three smoking hot babes coming over tonight.”“Don’t make me punch you,” Europa play-threatened. She and Loraine had sneaked up on me while I was entertaining Aya.“I don’t know,” Loraine gave a cautious laugh. “I like being called a smoking hot babe.”“Aya, I really like you, but do you always have to drag those two around with you?” I wiggled Aya up in the air. “It’s kind of creepy.” She giggled.“Those are my sisters, Silly,” she snickered. “They will be your daughters one day too.”“Time for us to go,” Caitlyn intervened. As she ushered her children away, she shot me a look over my shoulder that strongly suggested she wanted to play house. Desiree moved to within a meter of me and looked me up and down.“You are an idiot,” she remarked, turned and left. I looked to Buffy.“I’m your ride,” Buffy snorted. I hobbled to her.“I’m glad you are okay,” Tigger waved then followed Desiree out.“Thanks for a great time,” I looked over my shoulder at the Amazons. “As soon as my blood supply has replenished, I’ll be sure to come back and play some more.”We were in the car, exiting Doebridge when Buffy finally spoke.“Why do you keep thinking you can keep getting away with talking like…” she was glaring at me. “Oh Goddess…you really are laughing at death. You really believe you are going to die, don’t you?”“Absolutely. The moment they started chanting I realized it was unlikely I’d get out of this experience alive,” I admitted.“Why are you holding us to the 78 day rule?” she asked.“Recall what I said about backbone, Buffy?” I reminded her.“I am attached to the lifestyle I’ve created and I’m not going to change it to scrape out a few more days of existence,” I grinned. “I hold Havenstone to that countdown because I would do it if I thought I was going to be okay.” A few more minutes passed. I tried to cut the radio on. Buffy kept cutting it off. I was getting sick of it and my annoyance was showing.“Did you really tell the whole dome that you would sleep with me first?” she whispered.“Of course,” I replied. “I said that was my intention at work and I mean to keep to it.”“What about Hayden?” she asked.“Well, unless you agree to a three-way, I think this is going to be an issue we’ll have to work around,” I shrugged.“I’m not even sure I like you,” Buffy mumbled. “I want you. I am not sure I like you, though.”“Buffy, that’s fine,” I murmured. I unbuckled my seatbelt and began twisting around in my seat. My thigh was killing me, but I was a man on a mission. I put my head in Buffy’s lap, gazing up at her.“What are you doing?” she grinned.“Annoying you - taking advantage of you - take your pick,” I smiled. We drove for a while.“What are you thinking about?” Buffy gazed upon me warmly.“Picturing you in different colors and cuts of panties,” I told her. Buffy frowned then returned her focus to the road.“What is your favorite?” she inquired a few seconds later.“I’m torn,” I confessed. “I never seen you semi-nude so I have to do some imagining. How do black hipster lace panties sound?”“Not a thong?” I had her attention again.“Nah. You are like a chocolate covered cherry, Buffy,” I explained. “Those panties would be like the sweet sugar before you bite into the cherry. It tantalizes with the promise of something even better.” Silence for over ten minutes.“I hate you,” she gulped. She expressed that by tenderly stroking my face and hair.I drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards. It was the combination of lack of movement and the city’s static that brought me back. We were parked somewhere, Buffy gazing down at me with something that might have been confused with affection.“We are home,” she whispered. “Your home. I need to take you to your apartment.”On the third landing we took a breather. Being wrapped up by Buffy, I took a moment to whisper in her hear.#Your eyes are a molten river of gold, promising riches and a fiery death# I sang to her softly in Old Kingdom Hittite. It was original poetry.“What was that?” she smiled.“I’m not sure I can tell you,” I stifled a yawn. “This whole translation thing wasn’t explained to me. I can tell you it was a line of a love poem I created only for you.”“Oh…could you repeat it?” So I repeated it, quietly - this was still a secret language - on each landing until Buffy felt she got it right.Odette answered the door - oh joy. Buffy turned brittle angry while Odette drank in the whole scene.“Who is this?” Buffy snapped.“This is Odette. Odette, this if Buffy, one of my bosses.”“Buffy, Odette is the woman who brings solace to my nights, drives off the pains of the day and comforts me in the first lights of the morning with a smile and a word,” I said by way of introductions. I didn’t call her my girlfriend and still kept her happy.“Oh God, Cáel, what happened to you?” Odette worried.“An important life lesson,” I frowned. “Lawn darts and jello shots don’t mix.” I knew this to be true as I had something similar to this happen to a good friend. Since he was hit by a woman neither one of us 'was sleeping/had been sleeping’ with, we assumed she was intoxicated. We took him to the hospital then I fucked her in the parking lot.Later she, me and the victim had a three-way to ease her regrets. The next four three-ways were just because. Unfortunately, his girlfriend wasn’t as forgiving. Back in the hospital parking lot, once we knew he’d be okay, I fucked his girlfriend too. Yes, I am morally irreprehensible.“What really happened?” Odette fretted as she helped Buffy get me to the sofa.“He cheated on me so I marked him as my territory,” Buffy snarled.“But he’s your employee,” Odette gasped. “Isn’t that immoral?”“Immoral? Child, men exist solely to pleasure women and carry heavy things,” Buffy grumbled.“Carry heavy things…” Odette mused. “He’s carrying something heavy all the time,” she snickered.“I hate you,” Buffy snapped. I wasn’t sure who that was aimed at.“Why - wait, he’s not having sex with you, is he?” Odette sounded surprised. “Wow, you are really missing out.” Buffy gave off her nearly subsonic jaguar growl. “I haven’t had too much experience,” Odette blithely continued on, “but - Wow - I’m having orgasmic tremors up to eight hours after every nightlong sex session with Cáel. It’s wild.”Buffy grabbed my hair and twisted things until I was looking into her blazing hate/lust-filled eyes.“Monday morning - seven o'clock - you’re mine,” she growled. She turned to leave.“What? No good-bye hug?” I pleaded hopefully. I received a deep animalistic noise and a door slammed in our faces.“Odette, is there any way I could convince you for some 'intensive care’ sex?” I gave her puppy-dog eyes. Odette responded by helping me off the sofa and aiming us toward the bedroom. There was a loud pounding on the door.“Odette, stay here. She’s violently unstable,” I cautioned my buddy. I hobbled to the portal.“I want my hug,” Buffy glared as I opened the door.“Fine. Remember, this is purely platonic,” I kept it cool. “Now put your hands behind your back.”“What? No, I won’t,” she snarled.“Buffy, I’m sort of fragile right now and you are a big bully,” I cautioned her. Buffy’s whole body trembled. Had she spontaneously developed heat ray vision, my brain would have been incinerated on the spot. Buffy finally linked her hand behind her back. I gently pressed my body against hers, brushing her hair behind her shoulders then tilting her jaw up.“I don’t like making you unhappy, or disappointing you, Buffy,” I whispered. “I apologize.” I didn’t kiss her. That was technically against the rules. Slow, persistent puffs of breath played along her shoulder, neck ears, cheeks and forehead in lieu of my forbidden kiss. Buffy’s vexation at the lack of oral contact faded as the hot, moist sensations of my exhalations upon her flesh played out.She quickly caught on that she could tilt her neck around to offer up places she found especially enticing, eventually leading me to her cleavage.“Have a nice weekend,” I told her when I was done.“78 days…Cáel. 78 days,” Buffy’s eyes shone like solar flares of lust. She left.The door shut, I turned around and Odette gave me a horny, beseeching lament. She’d been masturbating while I had been not-kissing Buffy.“I need you,” she moaned. I limped her way.“I’m not sure…” I got out before she overwhelmed me.“I’ll help,” she squealed. She dragged me across the room before tossing me on my new bed. Hmmm…new sheets…and the room looked really clean…sex. Odette would hurt me, make amends then try even harder to make me happy. It wasn’t my best experience with sex, but far from my worst.For example: don’t let yourself get tied down when you suspect your bedmate is unhappy with you because she’s found out you’ve also been doing her friend. At least make sure her friend isn’t at home and in on the revenge too. Don’t apologize, beg for mercy, or say you love them. No, take your lumps like a man, admit you are lower than low, and that you deserve whatever they deem appropriate.A terrifying first night. The next two were among the best I ever had…until the next weekend.Odette helped me clean up and changed the sheets all by herself. She was a wonderful girl and I hoped she’d meet somebody who appreciated her and wasn’t like me. Odette informed me that Timothy and Nikita would be showing up around 4 pm.Timothy had also told her he and I had a double date tomorrow night so she promised to call me Monday to see how I was doing…and whatever. With a wink, Odette also passed along that Timothy claimed all the toys in my room were his, except for the bondage suspension gear - which was untried - hint, hint.Wait a second - wasn’t this the same girl who thought a lone dildo was pressing the sexual envelope on Thursday? I kissed Odette and sent her on her way. I noticed the Nerf gun. I contemplated hiding the damn annoyance then I realized he’d only shoot/throw something harder. I decided to wear my Havenstone t-shirt (one size too small) that came with my recruitment packet and some gym shorts because jeans and the wrapping on my thigh didn’t mesh.Nikita showed up first and a bit early. Maybe she was trying to catch me shooing another girl out the door. I didn’t ask.“Hey Nikita,” I greeted her with a kiss.“Hey Cáel - what happened!” she gasped, taking in my bandaging. I had thought about my response.“I was at an archery range this morning and was shot,” I related.“Did you report this?” she began her interrogation.“My insurance will cover this and 'no’, there is no police incident report,” I answered.“Why not?” she glared.“I work for the Amish Mafia, Nikita. If I talk to the cops, you are going to be looking for me under the next barn raising,” I joked. Nikita was not amused in the slightest.“We need to take care of this,” she demanded.“How about this - someone tried to murder me this morning. Not a single person I was with raised a finger to save me,” I exhaled.“I didn’t die for a few reasons. One is the three girls coming over here tonight. Another is that a few women find me charming enough to keep me around. Lastly, they know that I know I’m a corpse if I make a break for it,” I explained. “Now, I’d truly prefer you think I’m making this shit up to sound insane, or trying to impress you.”“You are not…insane, or making that shit up,” she muttered. “I still can’t date a criminal.”“Barring carrying an unauthorized firearm loaded with blanks, I’ve been good,” I grinned.“That’s a crime,” Nikita groaned then pressed into me. “Why do I put up with you?”“You are most likely the best woman I’ll ever meet?” I offered. She hugged me.“I’d say that you are only saying that to get into my pants except you’re desperately trying to not get into my pants,” she sighed. “How do I fix this?”“Fix? I’m not sure this can be fixed. If you want to help, remind me love is stronger than hate, no one is irredeemable, and people can change for the better,” I murmured.“I’ll try,” she gently and repeatedly kissed my shirt-covered chest. “I think you joke too much yet you’re terribly honest. When you said you had a 'plethora of bizarre knowledge, I laugh at danger and have an incessant desire to learn’ you weren’t kidding. I should have run out the door right then.”“I agree. I know you are normally smarter than this - staying with me,” I nodded.“You are not getting rid of me that easily,” Nikita went to her tippy-toes and kissed me on the lips. That’s right. I was not a stoner who liked to toke on the weekends. No, I was part of a massive criminal conspiracy that was involved in various malfeasances more often associated with The Hague than the FBI, or Interpol.Basically I was the opposite kind of man Nikita thought she wanted. I was verbally evasive, romantically unreliable, unethical and criminally involved. She wasn’t blind to my flaws, she was reevaluating her desires. Beyond the sex, which promised to be epic, she felt I was brave and compassionate, honest and caring; a lover who laughed at death.In her distant future, sitting on the sofa, watching TV, while her socially acceptable, ethical and reliable husband was on the computer and her children were asleep in bed, I was the type of man she would recall with a sensual curve to her lips and the fondest of erotic memories. She might even wonder if they’d ever find all my body parts, or the person, or persons, who finally did me in.In the short term that meant more sex for me. I knew I was trying to not have sex spoil my relations with Nikita. I was going to move mountains to keep this love affair on track. If I wasn’t nailing her by next Saturday, a good bet would be that the world had ended. This lack of sex was killing me. With my stress level skyrocketing, my libido was threatening to slip its leash.I’d already scoped out three dozen spots at Havenstone for some quick nookie. It wasn’t intentional. My perception automatically cataloged every place I went to on how safely, quietly, and comfortable having sex there would be. I don’t think most people appreciate how much restraint I showed by not screwing Katrina in her bathroom, Buffy on that bed, and Buffy and Helena in any number of places.The elevators…oh God, the elevators. I’d had sex with a total stranger riding an elevator in the Sears Tower. Every few seconds, we kept punching buttons for higher floors. Watching her greet her husband and two young daughters getting out of the lift was enchanting. I never considered the wife to be cheating though.She wasn’t leaving her family; she was indulging in a fantasy. That helped me through lunch. After all, I was there to catch up with a high school buddy and his sister…and her husband…and two daughters - whoops. In retrospect, I was probably drawn to her because she looked like her/his mother. Mom was kind of hot and freaky too.The lesson there was never go upstairs to take a shower and change, leaving me alone with your mother unless you want her to have a secret smile when you return. She was divorced so there was no moral quandary. Further rumination was forestalled by Timothy’s keys jingling in the door and coming in.“Brother, she’s still got her clothes on,” Timothy mocked me. “You are losing your touch.”“We are not having sex,” I protested.“We are not…this weekend,” Nikita blushed slightly. “Next week though…”“I’m holding out for next Saturday,” I informed them. Nikita hip-nudged me and I winced.“Oh, I’m sorry, Cáel,” Nikita steadied me.“Cáel, what the hell happened to you?” Timothy tilted over to see past Nikita and look over my bandaged thigh, which was now bleeding. Oh, come on. Don’t tell me 'girl on top’ sex voids the 'don’t engage in any strenuous activity for 48 hours’ warning?“Someone tried to murder him,” Nikita spoke for me.“Any lady I’ve met, a jealous lover, or some totally unrelated woman I haven’t encountered yet?” Timothy was less than sympathetic.“Why do you assume I was shot by a woman, or that it was even my fault?” I groaned.“In Atlantic City, the odds of you being mauled by a woman you’ve pissed off is considered a sure thing,” Timothy chuckled.“Crazy woman, you’ve never met her and I seriously doubt you ever will,” I told him. “She’d have shot my nuts off but she had these ridiculously large double-D breasts that got in…Ow!” I yelped as Nikita finger-stabbed one of my nerve clusters.“Come on, Nikita,” Timothy teased. “If Cáel doesn’t notice a woman’s breast size, check him for a pulse, or a concussion.”“Eyes front, Mister,” Nikita demanded. “If you’re looking anywhere it had better be at me.”“Wait a second,” I protested. “You are supposed to be my love slave.” Nikita smirked.“Who is the boss?” she patted my swelling cock through my shorts and talked to it. “Who’s the boss?” pat, pat, “That’s good boy,” she cooed. “He knows who the boss is,” Nikita smiled at me. What could I say? My cock was the Lying Son of a Bitch of all Lying Sons of Bitches. It lied to everybody, me included.The only thing it didn’t lie about was being horny, which was more like a continuous state of being for the damned thing anyway. I could have grappled her breasts, petted her kitty, and/or groaped her ass. It pays to know your date/target/victim (depending on how polite you want to be).My hands cupped her jaw with my fingers tickling her ears.“Are these lips mine?” I whispered before kissing her with only a tantalizing tip of the tongue. “Are these my lips,” I continued on and on.“Yes,” Nikita sighed happily, finally submitting.“Nikita, I’m about to shoot our boy,” Timothy muttered. “Let’s avoid a friendly fire episode.” Timothy went for his Nerf gun, I went for the kitchenette, or would have if Nikita hadn’t stopped me.“Oh, come on,” I pleaded.“No,” Nikita smiled, “I don’t know what you did, but I’m sure you deserve it.” Wack - Nerf hit.“Fine,” I muttered. “Since I’m clearly not getting any sympathy, why don’t we go get the car now?”“I’ll go get the girls, Cáel,” Nikita suggested. “You should stay off your feet.”“Trust me, that will not work,” I said. Thankfully, no one contested me on that. They took one look at the blood soaking through my bandages and cut me some slack.Getting the rental car was interesting. I had to convince Nikita her personal vehicle wouldn’t cut it in our destination neighborhood. Halfway to the pick-up, something dangerous occurred to me.“Desiree, I need to warn Caitlyn I’m bringing over a lady with a gun,” I made a panicky call to the boss most likely know Caitlyn’s number.“Who?” she snapped.“NYPD Patrolwoman Nikita Kutuzov,” I supplied the name.“You are an idiot,” Desiree stated then hung up.“What was that all about?” Nikita stared suspiciously…again.“The family we are going to is security conscious to the level they will want to verify you are who you say you are,” I explained. They weren’t likely to kill her, or us. Caitlyn simply wouldn’t let me in, or let the girls out, which would be a sucky thing to explain if the opportunity to even see the girls ever arose again.“Do I need to inform my precinct that I’m stopping by this house?” Nikita questioned me.“I wouldn’t think so,” I said. “I also wouldn’t have thought I’d be shot with an arrow this morning either. Do what you think is best.” Nikita called in her itinerary. Once we made it to the children’s place, she insisted helping me to the door. Caitlyn answered with the kids closely behind her, luggage in hand.“Ladies, this is Officer Nikita Kutuzov of the NYPD. She will be our chaperone for the night,” I introduced my companion.“Cáel,” Caitlyn asked after she pulled me into a side room, “who is this woman?”“She is the daughter of the desk sergeant I met at the police station last Monday night/early Tuesday morning when Desiree and I showed up to get Marilyn,” I informed her.“I’ve dated her two times - no sex - and we are getting along okay,” I added.“No sex?” Caitlyn purred. “Saving yourself up for something?” I looked over my shoulder and saw three faces peaking in.“Please stop taunting me, Caitlyn,” I murmured. “The children are watching and I have to get going.” She pressed up against me, gave me a wink then returned me to the hallway.“Children, behave and I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon,” Caitlyn smiled. “Cáel - Daddy, have a good time.” Aya was as happy as a clam, Europa was amused, Loraine was a bit sullen and Nikita was stiff as a board. The presence of Nikita, the outsider, kept conversation to a minimum on the ride over. Europa broke the silence as we entered my building.“Gosh Cáel, you are poor,” she noted.“That’s rude,” was Nikita’s rebuttal.“What do you know about Cáel,” Loraine boiled over with anger. Nikita turned on her.“I know you are the reason I’m here, Loraine,” Nikita locked eyes with her. “You are pretty so I’m here to make sure he behaves.”“She doesn’t want him to behave,” Europa teased. Loraine shot Europa an evil look.“I want Cáel to be our Daddy,” Aya piped up. “So does Mommy.”“I had that impression too,” Nikita’s smile to me was frosty.“Well, I plan to be single for at least three more years,” I declared.“Great!” Loraine exulted.“Good luck with that,” Europa mocked me.“I can wait that long,” Aya added.“It will be a miracle if you live that long,” muttered Nikita.“Cáel was shot saving my life today - me and my family,” Aya got out.“Aya - no!” snapped Loraine. “We are not to talk about it.”“I’m a police officer, you can tell me,” Nikita tried to corner Aya.“She is a, (then she used a dead word,” Loraine stated.It was Old Kingdom Hittite for 'masked ghost’. 'Ghost’ could also mean 'evil spirit’. I postulated that was the Amazon term for non-Amazonian women.“What does that mean?” Nikita scanned the group.“It means we are not going to talk about it, concentrating on having a good night instead. Okay?” I stressed.Nikita backed off, we made it to my place and made the introductions with Timothy. Once they got past the fact that he was gay - their problem was not with homosexuality; it was with males wasting their sexual potential not making babies - they thought he was wonderful. My roommate caught me flat-footed when he reminded the girls that they should wear their pj’s on a sleep over.Off they raced into the bedroom, dragging a reluctant Nikita along, to get changed.“Dude,” I said in a hushed voice. “What have I ever done to you?”“Nothing,” he snickered, “I’m being petty.” He went off to change as well. I was already in a t-shirt and shorts. I really didn’t need to change.Nikita’s countenance was one of fury etched in stone. It appeared that Amazonian sleepwear consisted of a beige half-vest, panties and a short, short skirt. It was somewhat endearing on Aya. I wasn’t going to go there with Europa. My brain was having none of that avoidance with Loraine though. God, she was scrumptious…and so very out of bounds.Nikita was in a plaid sleeping shirt than came down to her knees. I was trying to keep it together when Timothy came out in black boy-shorts.“Wow, Nikita. I had a shirt like that…when I was ten. You make it look…” he ended up laughing. The look Nikita gave Timothy was blistering.Aya came up to one side, knelt on the sofa where I was sitting, and hugged my head to her bosom. Europa plopped down on the other side. Loraine hopped into my lap.“Oh…is that your…?” Loraine gasped.“That’s his nothing!” Nikita yanked Loraine off my lap, “that you need to know about at your tender age.”“What is wrong with you people?” Nikita complained.“Don’t look at me. I’ve been sitting on the sofa the entire time,” I waved off responsibility.“We are not ashamed of our bodies,” Loraine shot back. “Don’t take out the fact that you aren’t pretty as me, my sisters, or our Cáel.”“Cáel, don’t tell me you find this manner of dress acceptable?” Nikita glared.“If they are comfortable with it, who am I to complain?” I shrugged.“She’s nine!” Nikita pointed at Aya who smiled back.“Damn Nikita, trust me a bit, why don’t ya? I am well aware of women’s ages,” I sighed.“Do you want me to dress like they do?” she stared accusingly.“That would be pretty nice,” I smiled letting my lust sneak through.“Hold on,” Timothy grinned. I was in trouble. “When I helped Cáel move in I saw he had a huge box full of women’s clothes - not in his size. He’s not a cross dresser.”Gee - thanks Timothy, you right bastard.“What is a cross dresser?” Aya piped up. I groaned.“A cross dresser is a man who dresses up like a woman,” Nikita provided. “A Drag Queen is a man who dresses up like a famous woman/actress/singer. A transvestite is a man who dresses like a woman because they want to be a woman.”“Have you ever dressed like a woman, Cáel?” Europe inquired.“Yeah,” I grinned. “I did a burlesque review one year and dressed up like a pole dancer at a friend’s bachelorette party.”“Really?” Loraine and Nikita both perked up.“What’s are pole dancers and what’s burlesque?” Aya mused.“Hmmm…I was in a burlesque troupe for a South Sudan relief charity event,” I recited. “Burlesque dancers were really racy clothing - kind of like what you have on right now, Aya. I was a pole dancer at my friend’s bachelorette party because I owed her for some past mistakes.”“Aya, pole dancers where bikini style clothing and do erotic acrobatics with a ceiling to floor pole, thus pole dancing,” I explained.“Can we see you do that?” Loraine and Europa closed in. “Sometime soon?”“Past mistakes?” Nikita glared.“Yes, past mistakes,” I sighed. “I slept with her, her best friend, her mother and her younger sister. She stabbed me here,” I pointed to a faded scar on my left triceps. “We hooked up again later, but things didn’t work out that time either,” I pointed to the scar on my foot.“You didn’t have her arrested? Worse, you took her back so she could stab you again?” Nikita shook her head negatively.“I was the one who made her angry,” I shrugged, “plus the sex was passionate.”“Those are scars of sexual animus,” Loraine purred. “You must be tremendously delectable to incite such a reaction.” She gave off her own predatory rumblings.“Loraine, the man cheated on these women. This is not what you look for in a sex partner,” Nikita lectured.“What do you mean?” Europa looked Nikita’s way. “I want a man that other women desire. It makes the conflict and resulting conquest all the more praiseworthy.”“You are thirteen,” the policewoman reminded Europa. “You don’t need to be thinking about men, especially treating men like conquests.”Timothy came out of my room with a large cardboard packing box - full of clothes - women’s clothes.“What the?” Nikita blanched. Europa and Loraine swarmed the goodies while Aya snuggled in tighter to my side.“I’ve never heard my Mother, or Aunts, talk about a male the way they talk about you,” Aya whispered into my ear in Old Kingdom Hittite. “They really like you - as a person.”“You referred to Desiree as your Aunt today,” I quietly spoke. “Is that the first time you’ve acknowledged her as family."No; I did it once before when I was six and Momma was very angry. Grandmother Sylvia was the Heir to House Epona when she ran away,” Aya informed me. “All of this happened before I was born. Great-grandmother was very angry with her sisters and Momma. When they brought Aunt Desiree back, they were all wanted to kill Desiree except Aunt Katrina.”“Katrina fought and killed Great-grandmother so Desiree was allowed to live. The other women still won’t call Desiree 'aunt’ or 'sister’ though,” Aya finished.“You did,” I reminded Aya.“I’m not going to make it, am I Cáel?” Aya suddenly looked so small and vulnerable. “I know you will honest with me.”I wasn’t sure where the honest part came from.“Why do you think you won’t make your trial in three years?” I inquired. I wanted to know where she stood mentally.“I’m small and weak. My mind gets excited and confused too easily. It took a man risking his life for me to make me concentrate hard enough to hit the target this morning. I’m not going to make it,” she moaped.“You do realize you are asking for sympathy from the only male inside Havenstone who speaks your lingo and everyone will know by Monday,” I tweaked her nose. “I’ve been beaten up, shot with an arrow, faced numerous death threats as well as enslavement plus being stun-gunned half to death and given a truth serum that set my body on fire - figuratively speaking - all in my first week.”“Your life expectancy is under three years, Aya, but mine is at 77 days and counting down,” I gave her a weak grin. “I’m not going to feel sorry for you. Aya has a dozen people who love and support her - me included. She’s a winner. Me? All I’ve got is a whiny munchkin with delusions of self-pity. That would be you, in case you missed it.” Aya hugged me.“That’s why I love you,” she whispered into my ear. “You are really my friend. You turn my mistakes into victories, Cáel. You treat me like you would any other nine-year old girl.”“Cáel Nyilas, what is all this?” Nikita glared at me. She was holding up a bundle of women’s undergarments.“Clean underwear of the female variety,” I grinned broadly.“Wow,” Loraine exclaimed. “There is not much to this one at all,” she held up a lacy white thong. “Do you want to see me wearing this…and a smile?” she invited me with her eyes.“Actually Loraine, those are Timothy’s,” I lied. She looked poleaxed.“Bro, those wouldn’t hide my balls, much less my dick,” Timothy laughed.“Guys!” snapped Nikita. “Try to remember this is a teenage girl sleep-over, not a frat party.”“Nikita, calm down,” Europa tapped the cop’s shoulder. “I think we’ve all seen a naked man before, unless you haven’t. Why don’t you try some of these on? Some are in your size.”“Women don’t put on other women’s underwear,” Nikita stated. “It is unsanitary.”“But he washed them,” Europa countered.“That’s not the point,” Nikita groaned.“Well, I’m going to try some on and see how Cael likes them,” Loraine proclaimed.“Me too!” Europa stood up.“Me three!” Aya tried to jump up but I held her at my side.“No you don’t,” I tickled her. “You need to stay here with me on the sofa to make sure I behave and Officer Nikita doesn’t have to shoot me.”Aya stayed with me; Loraine and Europa grabbed up some of the clothes and fled to my bedroom, pursued hotly by Nikita. Timothy settled in on the other side of Aya.“Hey there,” he rumbled. “You are as cute as Cáel said you were.”“Thank you,” Aya gave her warmest smile to him. “You have really big muscles.”“I work out a lot and eat children for breakfast to stay in shape,” he teased.“Bad children taste better with ketchup,” Aya chirped without missing a beat.“Do you have any eighteen year old, or older, brothers as cute as you?” Timothy rustled Aya’s hair.“We don’t have brothers,” Aya informed him. Timothy shot me an inquisitive look. My visual response indicated he should wait for an explanation later. We opted to tickle Aya instead then Timothy followed that with airplane spins and we ended up doing Aya-tosses. Yes, we tossed the future of House Epona, squealing, across the length of our living room, caught her then threw her back.The ladies came out of my room. Loraine was flabbergasted, Europa was jealous and Nikita was livid. They were also all wearing various pieces of flimsy female attire. You see, when a woman dumps you in a screaming fit, they take their coats, pants and shoes - it gets cold in New Hampshire.The often forget shorts, pajamas, panties, bras and light shirts. This resulted in my 'collection’ of women’s things to be biased toward bedroom/house casual attire.“Me next!” Europa begged.“Put her down right now!” Nikita demanded.“Cáel, I’m scared,” Loraine faux-sniffled. “Hold me.” That would have been bad in all kinds of ways. Loraine had picked up a cotton candy colored bra and panty set - from a nice girl - liked to walk around my room in just that and the matching pair of 6 inch heels…which were also in the box.“No!” Nikita grabbed Loraine’s bra strap to impede her progress. Europa slipped past Nikita right as Timothy was putting the exhilarated Aya down. For a child handled like glass most of her life, I could tell the thrill of our roughhousing was reaching deep into Aya’s heart. She didn’t know that she was still being treated differently than other nine year-olds because being something new was good enough.From my point of view, I was a good boy. I stopped and gawked at Nikita. Sure, she was wearing forest green boy shorts and matching sports bra, but this was as naked as I’d ever seen her. Her body was pale white unlike Loraine’s, which had a faint tan. This did two thing; disappointed Loraine and caused Nikita a terrible conflict of emotions.Oh, I was still a pig who mostly thought of women as sex objects - but she was the current subject of my porcine desires so I was suddenly more acceptable, or at least, forgivable. My reaction had an unexpected benefit. Nikita remembered that she was here to be a chaperone, not a den mother.“Loraine, if he drooled at you like that, he knows I would shoot him,” she tapped the younger woman.“But I’m wearing less,” Loraine turned around to face Nikita. Now Nikita was the 'worldly’ woman lecturing the one blossoming into womanhood - Thank God!Women ganging up on you isn’t always a bad thing and them fighting over you isn’t always a good thing. If they fight over you, the winner may still hold you responsible for what happened = no sex. When they settle those issues internally, they are more likely to ignore your flaws to get what they want, namely your attention and body.Anybody who thinks girls don’t want sex as much as a guy has never been shoved into a dark closet with a female total stranger. If you aren’t quick, she’ll have your cock in her mouth before you can get under her bra - just saying.“Sometimes you get more out of teasing a man than showing him too much,” Nikita taught Loraine.“What do you think?” Loraine turned back to me.“What? Huh? I think you two are two too many,” I gulped. “I’m going to stand in front of the freezer for a bit.” Loraine grinned then turned and shared a special look with Nikita - metamorphosis complete. They were now women, neither Amazon nor outsider.“No you don’t,” Europa insisted. “I want to take an 'Aya’ flight,” she referred to Timothy and me tossing Aya across the admittedly small living room. Timothy easily hefted a giggling Europa up in an arm curl.“We can do this,” Timothy grinned at me. “She’s light enough.”Timothy knew how much weight he regularly lifted and how that rated against my slightly lesser bench press. I took his word for it that I could catch a thrown Europa with only one good leg. The doorbell rang and a stillness seized the room.“Timothy, take Europa to the kitchen,” I hissed. “Loraine, Aya - to the bedroom. Nikita - gun.” People scrambled. Once they were done, I began to stump to the door. The bell rang again because I was taking a while and the person at the door was impatient. I looked out the peephole and what I saw chilled me. Not opening the door wasn’t an option - double negative - ugh.“Hello Elsa,” I glared. She had two buddies, all from the Security Detail. “What can I do for you?”“This is a spot inspection on the Ruger girls,” she informed me.“I didn’t receive any notification of this,” I narrowed my gaze.“That’s why it’s called a spot inspection, you idiot,” Elsa sneered.“Well, that’s not going to happen,” I took a deep breath. “Anything else I can 'not’ do for you?”“Don’t you recall what I said when we met the first time at Katrina’s office?” Elsa smirked.“Since my death will be rapidly followed by yours, I’ll accept the trade,” I grinned.Elsa tried to look past me.“The woman has a gun?” Elsa wondered.“She’s a police officer with a submitted itinerary,” I smiled. “Is there anything else you need to know?”“I will see the girls,” Elsa insisted.“Elsa, here are your options. You can storm the room and you and your team will most likely die. You can leave. Or, you can strip down under my watchful eye. If I am satisfied you have no weapons, you, and you alone, can come in and see the girls. How’s that?”“You don’t dictate conditions to me,” Elsa hissed.“You do what you like. This door closes in ten seconds,” I shrugged.“Girls! Present yourself,” Elsa commanded in Old Kingdom Hittite.“No!” Aya shouted back a second later in the same tongue. “And leave my Daddy alone.”I heard a drawer open in the kitchen.“The knives are in the bloc on the counter,” I heard Timothy give Europa directions. It must have been her looking for a weapon.“Loraine,” Elsa snapped, “stop this madness.”“Elsa, Officer Nikita and me are arguing if I can use her back up-piece, or not,” Loraine responded. “Elsa, I have known and respected you all of my life. If you kill Officer Nikita, I will pick up her weapon and shoot you. Cáel is only doing what a Father would do for his offspring - defending us.”“How about this?” Europa, out of sight in the kitchenette, showed Timothy something.“Utility knife - good choice,” Timothy remarked.“What have you done to these girls?” Elsa seethed.“I…I can’t say anything that would make a damn bit of difference to you, Elsa. You are willfully blind and I’m too hurt and tired to give a damn anymore.”“3…2…1…” I counted down.“Fine, I’ll submit to a search,” Elsa grumbled. Oh, this was going to be fun. This wasn’t what I had purposed. It didn’t matter. She was here to see me, not the kids. I knew that look. I didn’t even ask to take off her clothes. I started, she looked absolutely outraged and she was also juicy enough to slake any man’s, or lesbian’s, thirst.The two other security types started out angry then slowly evolved into a guarded curiosity.“Is this really necessary?” Elsa groused as I took off her belt. I showed her the garrote I found in the folds of the leather accessory. She refused to be apologetic in the least. Beyond the obvious weapons, she had the garrote, 8 small knives and a back-up pistol holstered at the small of her back.Feeling inside Elsa’s bra earned me three dirty looks. I wasn’t actually looking for weapons. Her tits looked nice, so I copped a free feel. I’m a pig. Running my hands around inside her panties earned me a death warrant, no doubt. I kept Elsa’s arousal to myself. Sticking a finger inside her didn’t count as a violation of my 77 day deadline because…I’d make up something later.“Come on,” I beckoned Elsa to follow me. She reached down to pick up her clothes. “No you don’t,’ I insisted. "I can’t be sure I missed something sown into the fabric so you come as you are.” This wasn’t done out of concern for the girls’ safety. This was done because Elsa looked even hotter in her aqua French cut panties and matching sports bra. Oink.Only when I pushed the door open did Elsa and company realize I’d never closed the portal fully. Contrary to the evidence, I wasn’t suicidal. If something had gone bad in the hallway, I was planning to throw my body inside and pray for Nikita to provide me cover fire so I could crawl to the kitchenette.Once we were inside, I shut and deadbolt-locked the door. Nikita and Timothy peeked out first.“You go Bro,” Timothy chuckled. “She’s not here five minutes and you have her out of her clothes. My faith in you is renewed.” Nikita’s reaction was a bit different.“Did you search inside her bra and panties too?” was her icy insinuation of my pig-atude.“Yes he did,” Elsa snarled at Nikita. Oh, this would be a real bitch-fest. I was 'saved’ by the appearance of the three girls. Elsa’s gaze wandered from Loraine to Europa to me. “What is the meaning of this?” That had to be about the lingerie.“Yeah,” Nikita glared at me too. “That’s what I asked him.”“These are his trophies from some of his female conquests,” Lo

Come Fight Me In The Dark
Come Fight Me In The Dark Episode 37: Our Only True Crime Episode

Come Fight Me In The Dark

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 78:25


HACK! WHACK! ITS A ZAK AX ATTACK! Zaky B and his down juggalos are chopping chicken heads as they visit the sight of one of America's most famous unsolved murders. Join Joel and Erik as we dawn our true crime Trilbys as we discuss all the crazy stuff Zak ignored in favor of traumatizing a couple old lady's as we talk about Ghost Adventures Season 4, Episode 12: The Villisca Ax Murder House

Vicious Whispers with Mark Tullius
Episode 188: Out of Whack Back and Sleep Schedule, Plus Two Short Horror Stories

Vicious Whispers with Mark Tullius

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2022 28:40


It has been a rougher week than usual with our new kitten waking me around 4 o'clock every morning. I've kept positive about it and have been getting in a good amount of work, time in the sauna, a quick dip in the cold pool, and a yoga workout in before the kids wake. I also just reinjured my back thanks to not keeping up with my chiropractic treatment. I've been having a lot of fun pouring over Duncan Ralston's Ghostland to figure out death scenes for Try Not to Die: At Ghostland. Reminder that Try Not to Die: In the Pandemic is free on kindle through 11-21 Pick it up here https://geni.us/PandemicBook Includes the short horror stories "No One's Here" and "Glory" taken from the Twisted Reunion audiobook narrated by Tee Quillin.

GFBS Grand Forks Best Source
Forks Sports Highway - ”FBS, FCS; NBA out of whack” with Special Guest, Former UND WR, Noah Wanzek

GFBS Grand Forks Best Source

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2022 97:10


On today's Forks Sports Highway, we have on special guest and former UND Wide Receiver, Noah Wanzek. Noah talks about his UND days, and joins us for recapping the week in sports. Lots of FBS and FCS rumblings in the college football world as we prepare for the annual UND/NDSU clash this weekend, as well as the latest bizarro world happenings in the NBA. Paul Allen's meme-worthy announcing calls are also put into question from the wild Bills/Vikings game, and so much more in the world of local, college, and pro sports.    Show is recorded at Grand Forks Best Source. For studio information, visit www.gfbestsource.com   #sports #nhl #nba #mlb #nfl #podcast #grandforks #gfbs #grandforksbestsource #hockey #baseball #basketball #fight #football #paulallen #paulallenwrong

Johnjay & Rich On Demand
Payton's For You Page is all out of WHACK!

Johnjay & Rich On Demand

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2022 72:07


LIKE... ITS NOT WORTH BLOCKING HER? RIGHT? Today On The Show, Johnjay has a list of texting red flags that got our minds spinning. Share yours with us on Instagram. DM us @johnjayandrich! Also, Noah got his Taylor Swift tickets, and we go over some of the Ticketmaster chaos! Plus, an ALL NEW War of the Roses, BEAT SHAZAM, and SO MUCH MORE!

Steamy Stories Podcast
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 14

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2022


The Dawn of the New Order, like it or not.By FinalStand. Subscribe & Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.” - Abraham Lincoln*Earned leadership is a blessing; assigned leadership is a burden*Editor's Note: This episode is a tale of the new vice chancellor's attempt to destroy Zane by empowering him. So this is how it's going to be.It started at 6:45 as we began filing out of the dorm toward the dining hall and breakfast. We received texts, or our dorm mothers received them if we didn’t have that function, assigning us a tribe we belonged to. What was a tribe? No one seemed to have a clue what this entailed for us.“So,” Iona was the first to ask me, “Which tribe are you part of?”“My tribe’s called the Mediator tribe,” I responded. “What lame-ass name does your tribe have?” Iona blinked at me, took my phone from my hands, and looked at it while we walked.“Mercy and I are in 17,” Rio sneered. “Why did your group merit a name and ours didn’t?”“Because Zane doesn’t have a tribe,” Iona figured. “He is not of the mediator tribe; he’s a mediator. The real question is, how many mediators are there and what is their responsibility?”“I’m in tribe three,” Vivian volunteered. “I do have a notation but no indication who to see about it.” The conversations around us were going in the same general direction, the girls trying to figure what sort of disruptions this would cause. The teachers put a kibosh on students walking around and finding out where their friends were placed so the text and phone messages being tossed around were obscene.The surprise going to breakfast had saved virtually all of the freshmen from Handmaiden’s Duty but they snapped us up heading for Assembly. I had Frederica Nicholas who decided to make a game of her giving me a word and me having to create a poetic verse. I rapidly learned the more risqué my verse, the more touchy-feely she became. (And she is a Rhaine supporter, huh?) I am a glutton for sexual foreplay no matter where it comes from.Entry into the Assembly Hall brought its own special form of confusion. All the seats had numbers for the tribes that could sit there. I didn’t find my group anywhere but I did catch the fact that Christina’s group had been broken up. I stopped by Heaven to put a comforting hand on her shoulder because she looked terribly unsettled before I approached Ms. Goodswell on the stage.My spiritual advisor stood up, walked to the edge of the stage, and knelt down so we could talk privately.“Hi, Teach. I can’t seem to find my groups/tribe’s area,” I said pleasantly. “Can you help me out? Hell, can you tell me what’s going on?”“Zane, your seat is right over there,” she said, pointing to a chair on the front row aisle seat. She smiled sadly. “All I can tell you about this program right now is that I trust you.” Oh crap, that didn’t sound good. Sitting on the front row, the region normally reserved for seniors, was just as disturbing. I sensed an epic boning in my future and I was sure I knew who the chick with the strap-on was.Chancellor Bass came to the podium and led us through the first ten minutes of the session. I could tell she was simmering with anger and resentment over whatever the upcoming fiasco was, and she showed it. She introduced Vice Chancellor Scarlett, then sat down abruptly. Her enthusiasm wasn’t muted; it was buried in the core of the earth.“Greetings, students of Freedom Fellowship University; I believe we stand at the first step to a great, glorious, and blessed experiment,” Vice Chancellor Dr. Victoria Scarlett began. Her plan did sound grandiose, was certainly going to be famous (or infamous), and whichever supernatural powers put their mark on this train wreck, I was sure we’d discover the Arch-angel Morningstar also had his sulfuric fingerprints on it when the CSI’s were finally brought in.The basics of the scheme: There would be eighteen tribes of fifty or more members. Each tribe had all four grades in it but was focused on declared majors so that the girls could support one another. Each tribe would internally determine how they would regulate themselves as well. Externally, relations would be overseen by the Mediator, yes, that was in the singular, as in one: me.At this point, I was wondering if jumping up, shooting Scarlett in the heart, and crying ‘Sic semper tyrannies’ was appropriate. I didn’t have a gun and realistically, Victoria didn’t deserve death for what she was putting all of us through. A few days in a pillory would suffice. No, she was making me be the 'Man’ of our academic community, our judge and arbitrator.As for my job qualifications, or lack thereof; I am considered morally loose, if not downright deviant. I’m an eighteen-year-old boy telling twenty-one-year-old women what to do, I have no legal experience, oh, yes, and half the campus hates my guts. I almost missed it when Dr. Scarlett added that Vivian would remain my guardian.Maybe Vivian would throw herself in the path of a sharpened pencil, pen, or stylus aimed at my heart by any number of the young ladies that wanted me dead, just like a Secret Service Agent.“You will be informed of the location of your first meetings. Each tribe will meet at eight o'clock tonight and tomorrow night to create the foundations of your group,” Dr. Scarlett informed us.“Tribes five and seventeen will be meeting in the Solarium of Alan Smithee dorm, if that is okay with Mr. Braxton.” Victoria looked my way. I stood up in case anyone missed my discomfort for being called out and actually asked by a lead educator for anything resembling permission on this campus.“Eight o'clock tonight?” I questioned. “I don’t know if that works for me. I have a Brazilian body wax at eight and have scheduled my eyebrows to be plucked at 8:45, plus there is a new episode of NCIS: Los Angeles at nine.”“How about they promise to keep the noise level down?” Victoria volleyed right back at me without missing a beat.“Very well, Dr. Scarlett, if you personally guarantee their behavior, I’m okay with them using my room,” I allowed. I couldn’t provoke Scarlett and I couldn’t embarrass her, so I was back to facing her rear-bound artificial cock catching up with my behind. I sat back down. Victoria quickly exited center stage and a bitter Chancellor ushered us through the last of the service.I waited outside the Assembly Hall for my friends and my Handmaiden for the moment, Theresa Yates. Christina and Chastity caught up with me first, both giving me a curious look.“Bro,” Rio sneered as she and Mercy joined us, “we need to discuss your future abuse of power, bribes and kick-backs you are going to get. Nice banter with ol’ Scarlett too.”“Yes,” Christina said sarcastically, “being flippant with the Vice Chancellor backfired so spectacularly the first time, it definitely needed repeating.” Her criticism really sucked because I always secretly wanted her to think well of me.“What’s your plan?” Chastity prodded me. She was always helping me out when she got the chance. As she finished, Iona, Hope, Faith, and Heaven showed up.“They split us up,” growled Heaven. “Do something, Zane.”“He just found out about this,” Iona responded before I could. “Give it time and combined, we will come up with a solution together.” I sighed with some relief at her assistance and then I blinked. The powerful kiss I planted on Iona’s lips caught everyone off-guard.“Freaking brilliant!” I complimented her gaily, giddy with glee. I didn’t have an actual plan yet but I had a direction to propel my thought toward. With my mind awhirl, I caught sight of Theresa moving past me on her way to class.“Hey, Theresa,” I called out. “What are you having me do today?” She looked a bit shocked.“Zane, we are no longer allowed to call on you for Handmaiden’s Duty,” she informed me.“Oh, Heck no,” I choked out. “Who says?”“The Vice-Chancellor declared you to be outside the tradition,” she stated sadly. I wasn’t going to stand for this. Victoria was building a wedge between me and the rest of the student body.“Iona, do that tech-thing that you do and inform the ladies that by the authority vested in me as mediator, I am reinstating myself as part of the Handmaiden’s duty until…over half of the tribal leaders petition that I do otherwise,” I announced.“By tech-thing, do you mean send a text message with an accompanying e-mail to all the students on the school registry?” Iona regarded me quizzically.“Zane,” Chastity worried, “are you sure you have the authority?”“Of course he has the authority,” Rio declared. “He’s the freaking mediator.” Sometimes I would really like to get a word in before the conversation runs away from me.I swatted Iona on the ass, she squawked.“Chastity, this is clearly a game of chicken, so why not see how far Scarlett is willing to go,” I replied. The look Christina gave me restored my faith in me; her eyes beamed at me, alight with an intellectual fire. I had one last thing to do while the chaos boiled one last time before the ebb: I hugged Rio.“I want you to break into Gabrielle’s place,” I whispered in her ear, “wait for her to come get you, and tell her this: There is no Cordelia Dresden.”“Back off, Joker,” Rio punched me. Rio trusted me not to put her in harm’s way if I had another choice and Gabrielle knew that Rio would be the last person any sane individual would trust to do this.She gave no hint of a reply to my request. The assumption was, if Cordelia didn’t know what we were up to, she couldn’t figure out a way to stop us, and right now I wanted a way for us out of her little game here at FFU. My current theory was that the girl I knew as Cordelia didn’t exist before she came here, she was an invented personality, and I wanted to know who the inventor was.Oh yeah, back to my actual life where my academic and social lives were in upheaval because my current nemesis (or one of them anyway) was a crusading idealist. I swear to God, if I survive this place, I will never forgive Aunt Jill for not sending me to the University of Hawaii, which was my first choice for college. All I had to worry about there was hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanoes, and the wrath of the island spirits for despoiling virgins, simple shit.“Zane, you will discuss the merits and sins of the concubines of King Solomon with me,” Theresa said, as she passed me her backpack to carry. Life rolled back to semi-normal and we separated to make our way to our first classes of the day. That illusion took another ill turn when I entered English class with Ms. Goodswell. She gestured for me to come to her desk before the lesson began.“Zane,” she informed me softly, “none of the female teachers or administrators at this school can give you orders, only suggestions. Only Dr. Jennings may truly compel you to do anything.”This bombshell was the reason she said she trusted me back in Assembly. The only one making me do the right thing was me. I had never considered me Mr. Responsibility before so I was in for a crash course in having authority over 900 students and 100 teachers. I told Virginia Goodswell about my decision concerning my Handmaiden’s Duty to get her input, then compelled her to treat me as any other student, because apparently, I’m in charge of students now.“There are old soldiers and there are bold soldiers, but there are very few old, bold soldiers,” she reminded me. “Never forget, no matter how dark it may seem, Zane, you are never alone.”“I could always use a picture of you in a white, low-cut bikini to inspire me,” I hinted.“Mr. Braxton, by the authority vested in me by the mediator, I order you to take your seat so we can begin classes,” she smirked. Oh, the irony: stymied by my own hubris.Celia Wanamaker snapped me up coming out of English class. Vivian was waiting for me and Raven was in tow, right up until Paige snapped her up. Celia had me name a biblical character for each letter of the alphabet. Paige had Raven quote bible verses, backwards. As if there was any doubt my day could get worse, it did so immediately.“Oh, the great Priest-King approaches!” screeched Rio on seeing me. “We all must genuflect, that’s kneel down until your head touches the ground for you stupid bitches, until the Mediator passes.” The horrible, horrible thing was that dozens of confused girls started doing just that.“Hold on,” I held up my hands for attention, “Hold on. Rio is mistaken. Genuflecting is only done during the Holy Days of Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter.”Okay, I made that up off the fly and I figured that I wouldn’t be at school for Christmas, and Good Friday and Easter were next year and I’d worry about that then. For now:“Emily, Rebecca, Henrietta, and Magdalena, please carry Rio to her next class, by the legs and arms,” I instructed some of the closest students. “If a door or other object gets in the way, don’t hesitate to use her head as a battering ram.”“Damn, Bro, that’s harsh,” Rio giggled from the floor. I knelt beside her.“Yeah,” I whispered, “like being man-handled by four girls isn’t going to turn you on.”“Don’t tell them that,” she whispered back. I rose and continued on to class. A wiggling, squirming, cursing, and fighting Rio followed us.I went through the same rigmarole in Biblical Archeology. I told the teacher that using my authority over students, I was instructing her to instruct me as if I was any other student…because I was a student and this was the area of my authority; right? She bought into my reasoning with some relief.“How was it?” I mouthed to Rio once class was well on the way.“Two hands all the way up the thigh, one knows I forgot my undies and was thoroughly soaked, two titties grabbed,” Rio described what she’d been subjected to, “and I got to bite Magdalena’s ass. I love those soccer player asses. You are most likely the best friend I will ever know; thank you.”“Always willing to help a fellow pervert out,” I grinned back. Rio winked, then returned to work. I needed all the humor I could get because it was going to be a long damn day. By the time I made Marksmanship at three o'clock, I was damn happy to shoot something. I got some relief by having my best day ever, scoring a 53 (out of a possible 100) at the range. When I finished, I noticed a large number of my club mates standing close by.Women and the World At Large“Yes?” I questioned the ladies clustered behind me at the firing line.“Oh, we are huddling behind your manliness,” Daphne, one of the better shooters, joked.“Manliness? Daphne, you just shot an 87. Hell, if you ladies want to be safe, stand in front of me, because apparently that’s the one place my bullets don’t go,” I chided her.That was a slight exaggeration. I was a pretty good shot out to 50 meters, but when I have to use binoculars to even see the target some of these girls are nailing, I know I have a long way to go.“Zane, police your station,” Hope instructed me. “Everyone, it is time for field training.” This was the other part of marksmanship…sneaking around and spotting targets in the woods. We didn’t use live rounds but it was still fun stuff.“Gung-ho!” I responded to Hope. I’d heard that this was the battle cry of an Asian-American unit in World War II; Japanese I think.“I’m Korean, Zane,” Hope tried not to chuckle. “We are not exactly friends with the Japanese.”“If I stop saying it will you ask your Daddy not to come?” I inquired hopefully.“If you keep saying it, I’ll stop telling my Father I can’t live without you,” she countered.“You can’t live without me?” I questioned.“Of course I can live without you, but I had to think of something to stop him from parachuting here in the dead of night and slitting your throat,” she confided.“You are joking; right?” I worried. Hope was nonresponsive as we got our gear together for the hike. “Hope, tell me that was a joke.” Once we passed into the forest, Hope was quiet, business-like and nothing but. We were a mile into our trek when Hope settled down to study the environs. Per procedure, Hope watched to her front and left; I crouched at her back, facing away, and watched to our rear and Hope’s right.We would stay this way until Hope set up on the target, which was when I became her spotter. Since we weren’t there yet, I scanned my area one more time, then cupped my right hand and reached behind me until I touched Hope’s ass. I waited for a reaction of any kind but none came. Three seconds later I began to gently coast along her posterior, lightly squeezing her buttocks and rubbing along her cleft.With a careful ear, I caught Hope’s breath gaining in intensity. A few seconds later, she reached back and tapped my arm lightly so I stopped. Hope then rose carefully and we continued on our way. During the entire encounter, neither one of us had deviated from our watchfulness, which gave the whole situation a greater erotic appeal for me.“Zane,” Hope caught my attention as the last rifle and bullet was secured away, “I really wasn’t sure how you would deal with me…being better than you. How do you do it?”“All the training and skill in the world isn’t worth a damn if you won’t fight,” I tried to explain. “A willingness to fight without talent is a waste. Hope, you didn’t defeat me; you beat me.”She seemed to be searching for my definition of those two terms.“Let’s walk over to Orienteering before Heaven pops,” I suggested. “We can both pin Heaven down but short of killing her, I’m not sure how to stop her.” Hope chuckled at that assessment and nodded. “Hope, you put me on the mat and made me tap out, you beat me. You haven’t discouraged me from coming at you when I feel I’m more capable, you haven’t defeated me.”“Beating implies physical dominance but defeat is a state of mind,” Hope replied as she stripped my definitions bare. I swung back my hand to spank her ass. Hope flinched slightly as instinct recognized the incoming blow and dictated a menu of responses, most of which involved causing me pain. I spanked her left ass cheek; Hope yelped and glared over her shoulder at me in feigned annoyance.“You are a very verbose wench,” I shook my finger at her.“Do you want them to perform an extensive autopsy to figure out where I stuck that finger or are you going to remove it from my face right now?” she challenged me mirthfully. I stepped to her side, draped an arm around her waist; a second later she hesitantly echoed the gesture.When we got to Orienteering, Hope and I parted company and I joined my fellow students as Heaven stood before us. The silence dragged on…and on until I finally felt compelled to raise my hand.“Yes, Zane?” Heaven asked sweetly. You know; that 'sweetly’ that says, I have an iron skillet to the head in my immediate future.“Class? Are we going to have class today? Please?” I mumbled.“I don’t know, Zane,” Heaven glared at me with a vicious smile stitched to her face. “Do we have your permission to have class today? Apparently we need to.” Oh, fuck-buckets; Hope had probably had the same instructions and blown them off; Heaven was going a different way.“I understand,” I announced with dignity as I stood and walked up beside Heaven before facing the rest of the class. “As your appointed mediator, I think we should come forth and pray on the matter. All of you come to the front and kneel in a semi-circle; you too Heaven.” I put a hand on her shoulder and put pressure on her to kneel beside me, right beside me.The girls gathered around, Heaven was on her knees only inches from my crotch with her eyes flickering from my hard cock (I’m giving strong consideration to slamming that bastard in the middle of the US Tax Code to make it calm down) to my eyes. Soon I was in the center of a waist-level sea of slightly swaying female heads.“Let us pray,” I intoned. “Lord, guide us and give us strength to be true to ourselves, have faith in the gifts of insight, determination, and self-worth you have given us. Also, give us the vision to see what is wrong, the knowledge to understand when we hear things that are nonsense, and the will to forge past those words so that we find our own voice. In Jesus Christ’s name we pray; Amen.”“Amen,” the girls said, at varying volumes and with varying conviction. They were all there, on their knees, staring at me. I swear to God, if one of them had 'Baaa'ed, I’d have died on the spot.“Okay, who believes I’m more qualified to teach this class than Heaven?” I began. Two girls started to raise their hands then self-consciously reversed direction.“You are all correct; I am totally unqualified to teach this class. I am totally unqualified to tell any of you to do virtually anything. I don’t know more about life than any of the rest of you do. At eighteen, I’m younger than most of you. I’m a guy, nothing more. You ladies don’t need me. Really, do any of you have any need of me whatsoever?”“Sex,” blurted out of the mouth of Ruth, one of the senior club members. No one said anything for a few seconds. Okay, I could deal with this.“Fine, sex. With the Purity Pledge here, do any of you think you would need me for sex?” Twelve of the fourteen girls raised their hands; counting Heaven made it thirteen. I wanted to be anywhere else but in the deathtrap of my own creation. Screw that; I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and pull the dirt in behind me.“We hear you are really good at it,” Benios tried to explain things to me.“Brandi told us all about blowjobs. Those seem safe enough with the Pledge,” Michelle added. Heaven started snickering at my expense.“All right, everyone,” Heaven raised her voice as she stood up, accidentally squeezing my dick through my pants as she did so, “let’s get started, and if no one screws up today, we can have Thursday’s class in Zane’s bedroom.”We finished the last class for the day and started leaving our outdoor classroom when Ruth put her hand on my lower arm.“Zane, does a blowjob violate the Purity Pledge?” she asked. That wasn’t really what she was asking. Why would I know the specifics of a pledge that everyone knew I hadn’t taken? No, what she was asking was if she could experiment with oral sex with me.The other girls were not so surreptitiously hanging around for the answer.“Honestly, I don’t believe that fellatio is an acceptable alternative to vaginal sex unless it includes cunnilingus,” I bullshitted. I believed that, but I was hoping the lingo would buy me an exit.“What?” Ruth stammered.“Oh, I know that,” Michelle giggled. “Fellatio is when you take a man’s phallus and put it in your mouth, and cunnilingus is when a man puts his mouth…down there,” she pointed at her crotch.“Zane, do you do that too? Put your mouth, ” Ruth hounded me.“Sure,” I confessed. “Every man should, but in reality, it is more than tongue work”, I wiggled my tongue, “but finger work too. All you have to do is think how your fingers feel down there, except this time they are under someone else’s control and you have a strong, flexible muscle added to the mix.” I instantly knew I was missing something with this audience.“You touch yourself; right?” I questioned. By many of the guilty looks, I could tell that most of the class had, but a surprising number hadn’t, Ruth included.“I never have,” Ruth replied. “I was afraid I’d stop being a virgin.” I nodded, walked over to the closest tree, and banged my head against it.“That’s enough for today,” Heaven intervened. “We can pick up this wonderful, non-orienteering discussion next time.” She ushered me away. I was rather thankful to get away and into the company of someone I trusted. “Are you ready for tonight?”“You mean am I waiting to pack your tight ass and drag my fingernails over your back until I draw blood? Yes,” I grinned down at her.“Evil!” she giggled. “You are sinister, vile, and an aberration to all that is pure in the world.”“Well, you are purely wonderful,” I countered. “So is this a case of opposites attract?”“Do you like to see me that way?” my transvestite lover teased.“Your legs on my shoulders as I drive into you; on your hands and knees; you looking down at me as you slide down that first time, your ass cheeks bouncing, with my hands kneading them as you face away, but most of all…with your head on my chest, asleep, your hair spilling over your eyes as you lay there, that’s the best,” I related.“How can you be lusty and sweet at the same time?” she murmured.“It’s how you make me feel, Heaven,” I explained. “It is no mystery, you are that good to me.”“Best boyfriend ever,” she whispered, as she hugged my arm tight. On the final approach to Heaven’s dorm, she gave me a nudge.“So, how did you beat the ten-second rule?” Heaven prodded me.“We have a ten-second rule?” I questioned.“We don’t, silly; it’s Hope’s rule,” Heaven grinned. “No one holds her for more than ten seconds. She has, had proximity issues.”“We were intimate,” I pointed out. “That probably helps.”“I hope so,” Heaven laughed. “The first time Christina and I barged into her room, we found ourselves staring down the barrel of a gun. Chastity was her roommate and she nearly freaked because she didn’t know Hope had an automatic, much less slept with one under her pillow.”“Note to self: never climb in Hope’s window looking for a midnight hook-up,” I sighed.“Hey,” Heaven playfully grumbled, “if you are crawling in anyone’s window for some late-night booty, it had better be my window and my booty you are after, Mister.”“Or what?” I teased. “Are we back to me being in a deep, dark hole, you with the only key, dressed up for me in black strips of leather?”That description dated back to our first day on campus together when she hated my very existence.“Bitch,” Heaven growled with frustrated desire.“I’ll see you at the car in ten minutes, then.” I gave a double pump of the eyebrows and left. We had been invited by Officer Danica Campbell of the Lancaster PD for a barbeque so we could get reacquainted. It was something Heaven was really looking forward to (not that I minded).Danica’s house needed a little yard work but was otherwise an unremarkable ranch style house with an attached carport. Heaven’s hands kept fluttering at her sides and straightening out her skirt. Me; I was in a long-sleeved pull-over and jeans and was having a much easier time of it emotionally. My only problem was our timetable; I had to be back before nine.We could smell the burning charcoal from the front yard but I indicated to Heaven that we weren’t friends enough to simply walk around back unannounced. We rang the doorbell, then rang it again. Heaven was going for a third, nervous try when Danica opened the door.“Hey, you two, come on in,” she greeted us, and stepped aside so we could enter.The first aura I detected in Danica’s home was of benign neglect; the house was inhabited but no one actually lived here. Everything looked old but not worn, except for one chair and the cabinet around the TV which had VHS tapes (?) and scores of DVDs from the past ten years. Danica was in a lumberjack shirt, jeans, and deck shoes with a noticeable lack of bra, panties, and socks.“I’m glad you two showed up,” Danica said, talking to us as we followed her through the living room to the kitchen. We could see the grill cooking away on a concrete patio through a sliding glass door.“I almost showed up last night,” Heaven blurted out, then looked mortified.“You would have had to wait a while,” Danica joked. “I worked last night.”“I would have put her to sleep on the doorstep, covered her in a blanket, and given her a garden gnome to use as a pillow,” I joked. Heaven blushed furiously and punched me in the arm.“Be careful, Mister Braxton,” Danica threatened me with a wink, “I have handcuffs, pepper spray, and a taser, behave.”I was hoping that comical exchange would have reduced the tension. It almost worked. As Danica opened the sliding glass door, she turned to say something. I have no idea what it was that got into her but at that point, Heaven threw herself at our hostess, wrapped her arms around Danica’s neck, and kissed the lady cop. Danica staggered out the door onto the patio, grabbed the doorsill before they toppled over, and after her obvious moment of panic, put her other arm around Heaven’s waist.Third Wheel Syndrome was kicking in for a while as the two kept tickling each other’s tonsils and rubbing their bodies together.“I, ah…wanted to kiss you since I talked to you on the phone,” Heaven finally said. Danica stroked a finger along Heaven’s left earlobe, wiggling it back and forth.“Mission accomplished,” Danica smiled. “You don’t date much, do you? That’s not a condemnation; it’s just, you have a raw intensity I haven’t seen in a while. I like it.” Heaven looked ready to dive into another lip frenzy when our hostess held her up. “Let’s check on the grill, unless you like your pork chops and chicken burnt as hard as the coals that made 'em.”Heaven gave Danica enough lead to make it to the grill and open it up. My friend coughed and choked as the smoke billowed out; it was Heaven’s first outdoor barbeque, or at least the first that didn’t involve a professional pit master and a whole steer.“Give her some room,” I cautioned Heaven. “I hear those things are hot.” It was my first time too, but they had similar things in Thailand so I wasn’t totally lost.Eventually, I was forced to wrap my arms around Heaven from behind to keep her from bouncing all over the place. Her enthusiasm didn’t bother me; she was fun and felt she had a lot of catching up to do. We chatted about her work and our school machinations. Danica made a crack about me and women putting me on my back, funny like a crutch.We gathered in her living room; it was the only room that had the seats to meet our needs with the meat, coleslaw, hush puppies, and lima beans to eat. There was the promise of sherbet if dinner didn’t fill us up. Things were going so smoothly that I almost missed Danica’s little ploy.“Heaven, since you are getting a beer, would you get me one too,” Danica off-handedly mentioned. We were finishing up the meal and washing it down with the appropriate beverage, lemonade in my case and beer in theirs.“Sure,” Heaven smiled warmly, and off she went. She didn’t hear Danica get up and follow her into the kitchen, though Danica did give me a wink.The moment Heaven pulled the two lagers out of the refrigerator, Danica slipped up behind her and pressed her body into Heaven’s. For a second, Heaven thought it was me and was looking over her shoulder to chastise me. I was following but was hanging back.“Zane, ” then she noticed it was Danica, “Huh?”“Hey, Precious,” Danica purred to her, “it seems your hands are occupied;” gesturing to the beer in each. Danica stretched her arms around and cupped Heaven’s breasts and began massaging them. Heaven tried to twist around but Danica didn’t let her. She bit into Heaven’s neck instead, sucking up and down from ear to shoulder.“The last time you snuck up on me; now it is my turn. How does it feel?” Danica continued. She pressed Heaven up against the refrigerator door, grinding her there for a while before letting Heaven turn and faced her.“It feels good,” Heaven gulped, “but I know some other things I want to do to you that are better.”Danica answered that by sensually sliding down Heaven’s body until she was kneeling. From there she lifted Heaven’s skirt, pulled down her double panties and started making kissing/slurping noises that made Heaven shudder in anticipation. Danica was bobbing in a slow, languid style that was pushing the tranny toward her own internal blaze. I saw the opportunity to come up and relieve Heaven of her beers before she dropped them.Heaven’s hands dropped immediately to Danica’s head and trembled with the desire to push Danica farther and farther down her cock. Danica held her off, having more blowjob experience than Heaven and I combined. I took the time offered to remove all our shirts and Heaven’s bra before alternating kissing Danica’s neck and back while playing with her tits, and going to Heaven and kissing her and teasing her nipples with my teeth.She was over-eager and was tapping Danica’s crown inside a minute, indicating the shortness of her fuse. Heaven gave a muted squeak followed by,“Oh, God, that’s so fucking good, take it, oh, God, take it!” Danica did a masterful job of soaking up everything Heaven had to give and draining her dry afterwards.Danica had to hold Heaven’s hips to stop my lover from sliding to the ground on her ass.“I think we will all be passing on the sherbet,” Danica grinned while licking her lips. Heaven nodded, first shakily but soon with much more assurance. I kicked off my shoes in my own endorsement of this plan and we were soon all migrating to Danica’s bedroom.Heaven, new to the romantic aspects of sexuality, dove straight onto the bed and shimmied out of her skirt. Danica and I stopped at the foot of said bed and shed our pants (and underwear for me). As Heaven looked at us, I pulled Danica’s hair aside and began kissing her from right beneath her ear down to the nape of her neck. Danica responded by pressing her backside into me and gyrating her ass on my crotch.Danica ran her left hand behind her back and began moving it sensually along my stomach to the base of my cock and up again. Her right hand stroked my thigh and hip on the other side. I countered by moving my left to her left breast, mauling it but leaving the nipple unmolested for now. My right hand went in a serpentine fashion to her crotch and hovered right above her clitoris.We played tag with our intimate parts long enough for Danica to start sweating and moaning against me.“Why aren’t you married, again?” she snickered. “Oh, yeah, you being eighteen and all.”“Are you too much woman for one man?” I countered.“Actually, I’ve been looking for someone special,” she confessed, but she wasn’t looking at me when she said it. That wasn’t lost on Heaven either; her jaw dropped. “Don’t freak,” Danica reassured her. “I know we don’t have much in common, I’m a townie and you’re a rich girl from somewhere else, but we have until spring if you want to hang out.”It took Heaven a few moments to digest that.“I’d like that, Danica; I’d like that a lot,” she smiled.“Well, I’d like it if you came over here and kissed me before your boyfriend drives me totally nuts,” Danica teased her. Heaven got on her knees and waddled to the end of the bed to join us.“Wait,” Heaven said at the last second, eyes wide with surprise. “I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, I rock!” and then she dove into Danica’s lips. Danica was propelled into me by Heaven’s passionate embrace. She reciprocated by moving her hand off my hip and onto Heaven’s semi-rigid cock.Heaven’s phallus hardened quickly enough and she upped the tempo by buoying up her breasts and initiating a nipple fight between her tits and Danica’s, wow, a freaking advantage I hadn’t thought of.“Lets, ” Danica gulped for air “– get on…the bed. I want some…of this…in me,” she pulled on Heaven’s cock.Oh, yeah, this was the Heaven-Danica show and I was second fiddle…and I felt it was glorious. 'You are known not by what you do but by what you leave behind,’ or so yet another saying goes. Danica and Heaven were happy with one another, even if only for a little while. That 'while’ included Heaven retreating up the bed as Danica followed and I pursued her.“Have you been a good girl?” Danica quizzed Heaven. “Do we need a condom?” clarified the issue.“No, no, I’ve only been with Zane,” Heaven answered.“That’s hardly a ringing endorsement for safe sex,” Danica chuckled.“Damn, that’s just cold,” I groaned. “For your information, if my partner wasn’t a virgin, she was someone I know intimately.”“So you are not doing it with that Warlord chick living in your house now?” Danica persisted.“How do you even know about that? It happened Sunday,” I wondered.“Zane,” Danica sighed patiently, “I’m a cop and your house is like two miles away.”“Can we get back to concentrating on the sex?” Heaven grumbled. “I’ll wear a condom if you want. I’ll wear a harem girl outfit if you want, as long as it leads to sex with you.”“That won’t be…necessary,” Danica murmured as she positioned Heaven’s cock between her labia then began to push down.I was working out what my place in this could be when I spotted the bottle of lubricant (generic) boldly sitting on Danica’s nightstand, not very subtle at all. I shifted over, got the bottle, then got around behind them once more.“Can I join in?” I asked.“I trust you,” Danica purred. Silly her; I’m behind her with a source of lube and a passion to use it. I poured some out on Danica’s cleft and let it ooze down toward her pussy. I let it cascade over three fingers before sealing it up again. With my left hand, I began working a finger into Danica’s anus, and with my right, I worked another into Heaven’s.“Oh,” Danica grunted, as I slipped past her sphincter. Heaven’s response was to moan sensually. It took me a little while to not only work a finger in but a second one in as well; then the fun began. With Heaven, I began both pumping and making a series of circular motions; with Danica, though, I pressed down until I was counter-massaging Heaven’s cock through the walls of her rectum and vagina.“Oh, my fucking God!” shouted Danica. “That feels great; she’s really grinding against me.”“Keep that up,” gasped Heaven. “I, I can feel your fingers.” Okay, I got this one right. I could also feel the sympathetic impulses growing between Danica’s vaginal walls and Heaven’s penis; they weren’t going to last long. Drilling Heaven’s butthole in rapid-fire fashion sent her crashing ahead of the wave.“Dan, Dan, Danica, Hell, yeah!” Heaven screamed as she slammed upward into the lady cop. Danica’s back bowed and a low growling noise reverberated through her body. Both tried to use their anal muscles to grind my finger bones together; for the orgasms they were riding through, it was worth it.Danica shivered through one last orgasmic burst then settled gently down on Heaven. Heaven reached around with her arms and ran them up and down Danica’s back. Our hostess pushed off her lover’s body with her elbows on the mattress and kissed her nose.“That felt wonderful,” she smiled down at Heaven. Heaven didn’t immediately respond. “Is something wrong?” Danica worried.“I, um, it was really nice, Danica, but –” Heaven worked through the words.“But?” Danica asked.“But I think I’m into guys,” Heaven gave her worried confession. “I’m sorry; what we did felt good but what sent me over the top was –”“Oh,” Danica seemed to deflate.“Hold on,” I intervened, even as my fingers were still slowly working them both. “Heaven, you liked Danica’s blowjob; right?”“Yes. It was wonderful,” Heaven brightened up. “She’s, you are –” she looked into Danica’s eyes “– the best I’ve ever had.”“Still, you like it up your ass, don’t you?” I prodded. Heaven bit her lip and rolled her head to the side. Danica pushed herself onto all fours and sighed.“Well, damn,” she sighed, “I was sort of hoping –”“Danica, would you consider screwing Heaven’s ass? Giving it a chance?” I hazarded.“I’d give it a shot,” Danica replied after a moment’s hesitation. Being with a girl was new; being with a transgender was new; and now being the driving force in anal sex was going to be new too.“I’ll get dressed and go out to the car,” I winked. “Surprise, surprise; I worried something like this would happen so I brought a few things along.”I was afraid that when I got back from the car with my backpack holding the strap-on, that a chill would have set in. I shouldn’t have worried; Danica was surprisingly passionate and Heaven was sheer surprise itself. They were cuddled face to face exchanging small kisses and stroking each other’s hair.“I just want you both to know,” Danica held up a warding hand, “if that thing is longer than my arm, I’m calling this off.” I presented the device for her approval and while it could be intimidating, it wasn’t scarier than Heaven’s normal equipment. “I’m glad that’s going into you and not me,” Danica ended up teasing Heaven. Not to be outdone, Heaven rolled onto her stomach and wiggled her upraised ass in the air.“Oh, she’s begging for it,” Danica laughed.“Yes, she does, and if you think that’s sweet, imagine how nice it is to wake up with her ramming that pole in while riding you,” I painted the picture.“Is there any position she doesn’t like?” Danica inquired.“I’m right here, my ass up in the air. Please, somebody do something,” Heaven whined.“Not that I know of,” I ignored Heaven’s plea. “You could try it in the shower, bent over the sofa, heels up in the La-Z-boy, or hanging from the pull-up bar, she’s quite strong.”“Oh, um, thanks, Zane; I’ll explore those opportunities,” Danica grinned.“Hello, ass here…needs stuffing,” Heaven became more insistent.“She’s shameless,” Danica teased happily.“Absolutely,” I laughed, “but if one of us doesn’t fulfill her needs real soon, violence will ensue.”“Zane, you warm her up and I’ll figure out how to put this thing on,” Danica instructed me as she took hold of her sexual toy.“About damn time,” Heaven panted as I worked my first finger in again. I’d oiled up several fingers before handing the lube to Danica to prepare her artificial cock with. Heaven’s anus was already pliable from our activity so it took only two minutes to work the second and third finger in. By that time, both Danica and Heaven were ready.“This is weird,” Danica mumbled, as she placed her phallic head against Heaven’s sphincter. “Let me know if this, ” she got out before Heaven pushed back and gasped. “Doesn’t that hurt?”“Makes me feel full,” Heaven gasped. “Push.” Danica did indeed push, and spanked Heaven for good measure.Now that I was freed up again, I elected to recline beside Heaven and watch her get fucked by Danica. Heaven and I made eye contact; that totally free, blissful look was exceptionally special for me. I’d seen Heaven afraid far too often. I’d seen her furious far too often as well.“Zane,” Heaven perked up, “get over here. I want your cock. I want it coming and going.”“Revenge,” taunted Danica. Heaven and I had given Officer Campbell simultaneous oral and anal sex, and now Heaven was getting the same treatment. I sat my ass on the pillow in front of Heaven’s face, legs spread wide. She grabbed my cock in both hands (my penis is so massive, its ability to block out the Sun often cows primitive tribes, or maybe Heaven has small hands) and yanked it forward somewhat painfully until she could lick the tip.“Come on, Zane,” Danica egged me on, “take hold of her head and fuck her like a cheap slut.” A shudder passed head to foot through Heaven’s body and she gave out a small sob.“Heaven,” I asked cautiously, “do you want to stop?”“I’m being fucked like a slut, Zane,” she replied tearfully. “I’m being fucked like a slut.”You never know with some people. Danica gave me a worried look so I gave her a quick smile and a nod. Heaven wanted to be a woman, but almost as important was that she wanted to be seen and treated like a woman. It may have played out in Heaven’s imagination that she had gone to some seedy bar looking all hot and sexy, then a couple had picked her up so they could treat her like a bad little girl.I raised my hips, feeding more of my cock into Heaven’s mouth.“Spank your bitch’s ass,” I teased Danica. She responded by alternating noisy but not very painful slaps to our tranny’s buttocks. Heaven wanted the tease, not the real pain, and Danica was right there for her.Once we had a good rhythm going, I could feel Danica’s cock slamming at its deepest impact, Heaven squirming and squealing with the pleasure and her tongue and throat swirling around my oral intrusion. She slurped and sucked desperately while a small amount of drool marked her cheek and jaw. Heaven began making whimpering noises along with the grunts when Danica drove in deeper.All the sizzling sex I’d been forced (yeah, right) to watch sent me over the edge first.“Heaven…babe, here it comes,” I chanted several times before I finally did shoot gobs and gobs, so much it shot out her nose and mouth. Okay, not really that much, but I certainly felt some relief.Heaven swallowed with some degree of urgency because she was at her tipping point as well.“Oh, God; oh, God; oh, God, Danica…FUCK!” she cried out, then bucked up hard against Danica. On the second buck, Danica took hold of Heaven by her elbows. Heaven rocked a few more feeble times onto the strap-on but her energy was temporarily spent.Danica wrapped her right and then her left arm around Heaven, pulling her into an upright, kneeling embrace, her breasts squished against Heaven’s back.“Are you okay, Precious?” Danica panted next to her lover’s ear.“I, oh, yeah, I feel great,” Heaven wheezed. “I also…seem to have…made a mess…on the bed.”“I planned for that,” Danica answered with a kiss to Heaven’s neck. “I was hoping we’d end up here. By the way, do you want me to pull this out now?”“Yeah, my ass is getting a bit sore, muscles stretched,” Heaven shivered. I wiggled forward so that Danica could push Heaven against me as she withdrew the artificial phallus from its resting place up Heaven’s back door.When the last of it slipped free, Heaven gave a brief little hiccup, then melted into my arms.“Damn, I’m so glad I met you,” she murmured.“Thanks,” Danica and I said together, then laughed at the confusion. Heaven gingerly curled into my lap while Danica sat back and worked off the sexual aid that had brought so much pleasure.“Well, that was different,” Danica mused. “I’m not sure how much I enjoyed it but I can’t say it turned me off.”“Um…that was good sex,” Heaven smiled at us both. “I like good sex.” I gave her a little nudge and communicated as best I could by eye contact alone. “Thank you, Danica,” she added. “I really liked that, what you did for me.”“In that case, we really should do it again,” Danica said nonchalantly. Heaven perked up right away.“Right now?” she hoped.“No,” I cut that conversation right off. “I need to get back to campus, and that means you have to get back as well.”“But, ” Heaven sounded hurt,“ Danica…that means we can’t…”“I know,” Danica interrupted. “Zane has church work tomorrow and then I’m at work for the next five nights, so…maybe next Tuesday?”“I’d like that,” Heaven became excited once more. She crawled over to Danica and began kissing the cop and running her hands all over her body.“Bathroom, clothes, kisses goodbye, and then we have to go,” I prodded Heaven. She looked over her shoulder at me with deep disappointment. Finally, she sighed and nodded. The rest of our visit passed quickly enough. Heaven behaved, I cleaned up the strap-on and myself, and we left Danica with some thank-you’s and a bemused look on her face. I knew that expression; people had described me as having it after my second date with Heaven too.The Birth of the JanissariesWhen we returned to campus, I felt my stress level rise once more. This time I was reasonably sure I had a plan but I needed some help. I sent out some messages for people to gather, and for a special few, I sent people to get the girls I wasn’t sure would come otherwise. I barely got back to my dorm room before the fire tribal meetings that had taken place there broke up.I wasn’t there to say much but I did impress upon the students that this was my turf and I wasn’t ceding one inch to Ms. Scarlett’s scheme or to any one tribe.The group that I’d assembled was very eclectic, some by force and a few of them I barely knew at all. Of the staff, I brought in Dana Gorman, because she was the prior Head of Security and our current Physical Education Coach, and Gabrielle Black, because she was the current Head of Security and I didn’t want to build an internal police force without her advice and consent.On the justice side of things, I brought in Dr. Bryce Kennedy [FYI: she is a woman], the head of the Pre-Law program, Ms. Hudson Lane, our school lawyer, and Ms. Virginia Goodswell, because I trusted her judgment where teachers and teaching were involved. Despite the oddity of the situation, they all answered my summons and didn’t look frighteningly pissed at my request.Student-wise, there was a sea of familiar faces, if not friendly ones. Only Mhain Reynard had been brought here under threat of force by Hope and Chastity. When most of the two visiting tribes had cleared out, I began my meeting.“What I have to say may ramble a bit but please be patient; we are creating something new here,” I began. “Has anyone heard of the janissaries?”Iona raised her hand, as did Hope, Christina, and Simone Brady (former Junior Class President).“For the rest of you, there was a Muslim empire of Turks who ruled much of Eastern Europe and the Middle East. They would levy a tax against their Christian subjects of young sons, and they would take these boys, force their conversion to Islam, and then use them as elite soldiers and palace guards for the Sultans.”“No, I’m not asking anyone to convert,” I warded off some of the more hateful looks, “but the principle elements of what I say will make sense, I promise. These Janissaries soon rose up to become the chief officials of the Turkish government, the most loyal and trusted of all the Sultan’s men. They were both the military and the civil authority of the Empire.” I let that sink into the crowd of bright young women I’d assembled.“So you want us as your personal guard?” Kylie Frik, a sophomore candidate for Class President, sneered. Clearly, she was thinking harem, not what I had planned. Hannah Cartwright, her opposite in the sophomore camp, figured it out.“You want us to be a police force and, I’m guessing by the presence of a few Law types, to be judges as well. You want a shield between you and direct involvement of things you might do.”“Close, but no cigar,” I grinned to Hannah. She liked me well enough but she didn’t really know me or the twisted way my mind worked. “You wouldn’t be my shield; I would be yours. The Janissaries get together and decide policy and how to best enact it; I give it my blessing; and you go do what you want to do while I take the heat for things when they go wrong.”Temperance(Note: introduced in Chapter 7) and Dana both laughed. Christina and company knew better than to judge my madness before hearing the whole story.“The Janissaries ended up ruling the Ottoman Turk Empire in the name of their Sultan, who they kept as a virtual prisoner in his own palace –” Simone Brady insightfully pointed out “– for almost 200 years.”“Wait. Are we going to imprison Zane?” Millicent interrupted. “That’s more than a little odd.”“No. I’m going to select ten Advocates an

Silver and Black Today Show
Raider Nation's Expectations Were Out of Whack for 2022

Silver and Black Today Show

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 14:24


We close the show talking about realistic expectations for the future and why bad drafts are to blame for the Raiders current position.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two Girls One Pod
Tik Tok Algorithms Are Whack

Two Girls One Pod

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2022 20:08


We're taking a dive into our algorithms on Tik Tok today and we've realised that it's actually pretty accurate. Angie's loving her life on lesbian Tik Tok and Yvie's been stuck on the childhood trauma side, all thanks to a voiceover she's obsessed with. Plus, Netflix is introducing ads to it's plans as well as trying to get users to stop sharing passwords. We're not happy about it. LINKS Angie Kent @angiekent_ Yvie Jones @yvie_jones Angie + Yvie Insta @angie_and_yvie Nova Podcasts Instagram @novapodcastsofficial Email us at twogirls@novaentertainment.com.au CREDITSHosts: Angie Kent & Yvie Jones Executive Producer: Rachael Hart Producer: Amy Kimball Editor: Adrian Walton Show Artwork By: @ellymalone Find more great podcasts like this at novapodcasts.com.au Nova Entertainment acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land on which we recorded this podcast, Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation, and the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respect to Elders past and present. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Todd N Tyler Radio Empire
11/14 4-1 POWER SLAP!

Todd N Tyler Radio Empire

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 21:59


WHACK!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Breakdown Podcast
36. My Focus is Whack

The Breakdown Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2022 23:04


What we focus on is constantly under intense competition. What we focus on can have a major impact on our thoughts, feelings, and actions. What we focus on can make a big difference on how those around us are treated. Focus is major! In Jesus' most famous sermon, he gives a straightforward answer about focus. Please join us as we break it down.

Planet Vrilock Psionics and Magick
Generative Evil & The King of Tweeple!

Planet Vrilock Psionics and Magick

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2022 32:25


Blend images from public conceptions (or misconceptions) of political powers, social issues, or whatever you want to create the ultimate egregore! Tune in and enjoy the show!  KEEP THE MAGICK HIGH!  Herr Doktor V.  PS: Here's something to be thankful for—50% OFF Thanksgiving, and all November long! That's 1/2 the cost of all video courses! Hack and slash half the cost to all video courses this month! Whoo Haa! Whack! Slash! Like Johnny Bravo and Samurai Jack, Herr Doktor and his swashbucklers have got your back!  Train up fast! Be ready for the hordes of darkness with your own little dark secret called PSIONICS!   Now, go kick ass and chew bubble gum like Duke Nukem! PSIONICS SHOP >>

RBN Energy Blogcast
Why - What's Throwing the Distillates Market Out of Whack?

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Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2022 13:03


The Hate Napkin
Season 1, Episode 55: Transformers Rapture and Carla's Cameltoe Banana Bread

The Hate Napkin

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2022 32:11


It's Game Day! There's a Nerf Super Soaker Water Blaster to your head. “What do you hate more?” Golden Corral or The Kardashians + Kanye West? Oh, Lord—please just blow out my inner ear with pee-tainted pool water now. If there's one thing that separates The Hate Napkin crew from The Kardashians—it's the pursuit of fame for fame's sake. We enjoy nothing more than our coveted status as the world's penultimate worst-rated podcast. (Phew! Thank God for Andy Dick.) Meanwhile, sound engineer Pauly from Bali and co-host Arik take a stroll down memory lane, to a time in childhood where bad behavior was met with an hour of forced-watching PBS programming—and if you got caught changing the channel to The Transformers, you were beaten to death with a wooden spoon. “But, dad, the Autobots are on Team Jesus!” WHACK! “Optimus Prime is a Christ figure!” WHACK! Meanwhile, special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, provides us with today's THN Daily Affirmation: “The only thing worse than childhood leukemia is making children with leukemia drink lima bean juice.” Carla is sick and tired of customers who pretend to know more about your own products and service expertise. Folks, there's a difference between chalk line residue and “rusty products.” Also, odds are, your five-star rideshare driver knows the fastest route. Your venerable construction company knows the best way to repair your roof. And your celebrated teacher is the actual curriculum master. By the way, if you're the expert, then why are you just wandering aimlessly around Walmart in a tube top showing off your camel toe to the world? IF YOU KNOW BETTER, THEN BLOODY WELL JUST DO IT YOURSELF! Finally, screw GoFundMe. Without a doubt, GoFundMe has the worst foreign-based call center on Planet Earth. They're definitely at the front of a line for a THN Hatey Award next year. And we conclude with Carla's Yeast Infection Walmart Camel Toe Banana Bread recipe! Yum-yum! Leave a voicemail of something you hate: https://anchor.fm/thehatenapkin/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thehatenapkin/support See all episodes: https://www.thehatenapkin.com/category/episodes/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thehatenapkin/support

Troubled Minds Radio
TM News 124 - Bear Attack, Metaverse Spending, Internet Chip, Rent Collusion, Circadian Rhythm...

Troubled Minds Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2022 62:51


TM News 124 - Bear Attack, Metaverse Spending, Internet Chip, Rent Collusion, Circadian Rhythm...http://www.troubledminds.org Support The Show! https://rokfin.com/creator/troubledminds https://troubledfans.com/ https://patreon.com/troubledminds https://www.buymeacoffee.com/troubledminds https://www.twitch.tv/troubledmindsradio #aliens #conspiracy #paranormal --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Washington woman fended off a bear attack by punching it in the nose : NPRhttps://www.npr.org/2022/10/24/1130857186/a-washington-state-woman-fended-off-a-black-bear-attackCompany that makes rent-setting software for landlords sued for collusion | Ars Technicahttps://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/10/company-that-makes-rent-setting-software-for-landlords-sued-for-collusion/Scientists Have Developed a New Explanation for Consciousnesshttps://scitechdaily.com/scientists-have-developed-a-new-explanation-for-consciousness/Justice Department announces charges against 13 Chinese nationalshttps://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2022/10/24/doj-merrick-garland-fbi-national-security-probe/10587276002/Auroras blasted a 250-mile-wide hole in Earth's ozone layer | Spacehttps://www.space.com/auroras-blast-hole-ozone-layerOne chip transmits the entire internet's traffic in a second | Digital Trendshttps://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/one-chip-transmits-the-entire-internets-traffic-in-a-second/Harvard's Robotic Tentacle Gripper Is Pure Nightmare Fuelhttps://gizmodo.com/harvard-debuts-robotic-tentacle-gripper-1849692898‘Mass Surveillance': Police Are Using DNA to Create Digital Images of Suspects That Haven't Been Identifiedhttps://news.yahoo.com/mass-surveillance-police-using-dna-192540060.htmlWhat DART scientists have learned about asteroid Didymos so far | Spacehttps://www.space.com/dart-asteroid-smasher-reveals-dimorphos-mysteriesElon Musk Announces Delay of Neuralink 'Show & Tell' - CNEThttps://www.cnet.com/science/elon-musk-says-neuralink-show-tell-delayed-a-month/Mark Zuckerberg urged to slash jobs, metaverse spendinghttps://nypost.com/2022/10/24/mark-zuckerberg-urged-to-slash-jobs-metaverse-spending/Metaverse: Most business projects will be dead by 2025 • The Registerhttps://www.theregister.com/2022/10/24/metaverse_dead_by_2025/https://interestingengineering.com/innovation/plastic-eating-robo-fish-to-clean-our-watersWhy JWST's 'Pillars of Creation' photo has astronomers buzzing | Spacehttps://www.space.com/james-webb-space-telescope-pillars-creation-excites-astronomerWhat Happens if Your Body Clock Is Out of Whack? Disrupted Circadian Rhythms Linked to Cancerhttps://scitechdaily.com/what-happens-if-your-body-clock-is-out-of-whack-disrupted-circadian-rhythms-linked-to-cancer/Want Better Sleep? This One Piece of Advice Seems to Work For Almost Everybody : ScienceAlerthttps://www.sciencealert.com/want-better-sleep-this-one-piece-of-advice-seems-to-work-for-almost-everybodyhttps://www.universetoday.com/158176/a-monster-black-hole-has-been-found-right-in-our-backyard-astronomically-speaking/'Spooky action at a distance' can lead to a multiverse. Here's how. | Spacehttps://www.space.com/spooky-action-at-a-distance-create-multiversehttps://home.cern/news/celebrate-dark-matter-day-2022-cernU.S. home prices could fall as much as 20% next year - CBS Newshttps://www.cbsnews.com/news/home-prices-drop-in-2023-mortgage-rates-grow/Shocking Experiment Indicates Our Brains Use Quantum Computationhttps://scitechdaily.com/shocking-experiment-indicates-our-brains-use-quantum-computation/

The Friday Night Letdown
Crack Is Whack!!!!!

The Friday Night Letdown

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 51:00


Dion asks has anyone seen Black Adam, the new Jeezy feels like 2005, Kenny tries to bait Jonas to rant, $1800 Zelle blessings, blue or red voting allegiances, PS5 & Gotham Knights reviews, Dee Dee joins the show, Ian's wise word and other FNL foolishness.....ENJOY!!!!!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fnlshow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fnlshow/support

The Friday Night Letdown
Crack Is Whack!!!!!

The Friday Night Letdown

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 51:00


Dion asks has anyone seen Black Adam, the new Jeezy feels like 2005, Kenny tries to bait Jonas to rant, $1800 Zelle blessings, blue or red voting allegiances, PS5 & Gotham Knights reviews, Dee Dee joins the show, Ian's wise word and other FNL foolishness.....ENJOY!!!!!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fnlshow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fnlshow/support

The Hexdrinkers Podcast
The Hexdrinkers: House of Commons #7 - Araumi of the Dead Tide, New Brews for PDH Stream, and Dargo is Still Whack

The Hexdrinkers Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 45:52


We were on Brad of the PDH Pod's Monday Stream again! Chev got called out about Orzhov, so he brought Primaris Chaplain to battle, and Jules continues his love affair with Tor Wauki, this time with many Dragon's Approaches. Chev and Jules discuss the versatile Araumi of the Dead Tide (courtesy of NateDiggity, again) for Deck of the Week. Jules continues his win streak in a crazy set vs Sprite Dragon (Xyrylyl). Also, in the content world, titans of the cPDH format Abdel Adrian and Dargo Shipwrecker go at it in this TryHards Video. Support us on Patreon and get full access and plenty more benefits https://www.patreon.com/hexdrinkers Use our TCGplayer affiliate link to buy cards: https://bit.ly/3qWntVa Check out articles, deck techs, and more at https://hexdrinkers.com/ Talk Magic with us at https://twitter.com/hexdrinkers All our decklists can be found at https://www.moxfield.com/users/The_Hexdrinkers Questions, comments, or business ventures can be directed to hexdrinkers@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/hexdrinkers/support

The Manifestation Collective Podcast
Ep. 53: Feeling out of whack?! Have you considered this...

The Manifestation Collective Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 17:03


BUY MY DEBUT BOOK Manifesting For Beginners - A Step by Step Guide To Attracting A Life You Love Welcome to the latest episode of The Manifestation Collective Podcast loves. In this episode I'm talking about the power of understanding our values, how to integrate them into daily life and how much more in alignment we feel when we live by our core values.  Resources Mentioned Join The Collective Membership: themanifestationcollective.co/the-collective-membership  Come and chat to me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/themanifestationcollective.  Grab The Ultimate Manifesting Bundle here: themanifestationcollective.co/ultimate-manifesting-bundle Feel drawn to discover more about me 1:1 coaching services? Find out more here: themanifestationcollective.co/coaching-services

Tiny Nick's Giant Picks
57. NFL Week 7 Preview, Cy's Lost Pups, The Pack is Whack

Tiny Nick's Giant Picks

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2022 66:46


-Day in History-Scene of the Week-Bad Day-Tease Up, Tease Down-NFL Week 7 Preview-Cy's Legal Update-Tiny Paris' Top Picks

Mike Seibert Radio
BLACKENED American Whiskey Review

Mike Seibert Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2022 34:22


Whack for my daddy, oh, there's whiskey in the jar, oh! It's my review of BLACKENED American Whiskey, co-created by Metallica. Listen to past episodes and get the full show archive here: https://mike-seibert-radio.sounder.fm Want to be a guest on Mike Seibert Radio? Send an E-mail to MikeSeibertRadio@Gmail.com or hit me up on social media Twitter: https://twitter.com/MikeSibertRadio Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikeseibertradio/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MikeSeibertRadio Join the Mike Seibertronians MSRP Friends and Fans Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/283425746647866 Closing music used with permission from Michael Geissler. For music like it, check out his website http://bytormusic.com/ Theme song written and performed by Lucia Fasano. Check out her Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/lucia_fasano/ Like, Share, Rate, and Review the show wherever you find it, and help the show grow by giving a 5-star rating. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an

A.E.B.G. PODCAST
BRADY QUINN IS WHACK!

A.E.B.G. PODCAST

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2022 4:58


Brady Quinn is WHACKKKK!!!!!!!! After predicting the Jets season to be over by the Bye week....Saying the Jets would be 0-4, 1-8 possible 0-9 to start the year....and Oh Yea......Saying that they would be going back to drawing board at QB next draft....Brady Quinn backtracked, sidestepped and avoided any ownership of his moronic comments when confronted with the Jets 3-2 start to 2022....THATS FINE. Because Brady, AEBG has SOMETHING FOR YOU!!!! The latest Single from AEBG Records......a full on Brady quinn Burial starring Keith and the Big Wookie.. "Brady Quinn is whack" Enjoy

Hill-Man Morning Show Audio
Whack or Wiggy, Pickleball, hot mic with Wiggy: Italian food

Hill-Man Morning Show Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2022 37:50


HOUR 4 Is that whack or Wiggy?? Is Heather Hunter a fan of Wiggy? Emergency Top 5: Best cookout games Hot Mic with WIggy: Italian food edition  

Roto Wager
10. "Whack-A-Dog"

Roto Wager

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2022 9:44


On episode 10 of the Jake-Cast, Jake and Daddy review their latest trip to the Alpaca farm which featured a special guest, talk about their first Fall experience of the year and Jake's special event that is coming up. Enjoy! Subscribe today and leave Jake a Rating and Review.

Balanced Vibes Podcast - Healthy Fitness, Food and Mindset
Are Your Hormones “Out Of Whack” and What You Can Do About It – Balanced Vibes Ep183

Balanced Vibes Podcast - Healthy Fitness, Food and Mindset

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022 21:23


Have you ever said that your hormones are out of whack? If you have, the reasons may have been: – You used to be able to lose weight and fast easily, but none of the things that worked before gives results anymore – You may even gain weight instead of losing, despite eating so little […] The post Are Your Hormones “Out Of Whack” and What You Can Do About It – Balanced Vibes Ep183 appeared first on Urban Jane.

Your Anxiety Toolkit
Ep. 304 What Does it Mean to Sit with Emotions?

Your Anxiety Toolkit

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 21:41


SUMMARY:  Today we have Natasha Daniels, an OCD specialist, talking all about how to help children and teens with OCD and phobias.  In this conversation, we talk all about how to motivate our children and teens to manage their OCD, phobias, and anxiety using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and other treatments such as self-compassion, mindfulness, and ACT. We also address what OCD treatment for children entails and what changes need to be made in OCD treatment for teens. In this episode, Natasha and Kimberley share their experiences of parenting children with phobias and OCD.   In This Episode: What does sitting with emotions mean?  How to sit with difficult feelings  How to sit with your sadness  How to sit with uncomfortable feelings,  Sit with the feelings  Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 304.  Welcome back, everybody. It's a delight to have you here with me today.  Oh, I've got so much I want to talk to you about and this is actually coming from an emotion of frustration, this episode, which every time I check in and I begin a podcast, I try to come from a place of fun. And am I feeling calm? And am I feeling completely connected to you, the listener? But today, just for fun, I'm coming to you from a place of frustration. And the frustration, promise, this is not going to be a vent episode – it's actually a frustration in that I caught an error that I've made, and I think a lot of clinicians are making. And it's not an error in that it's bad or wrong or problematic. It's just that I caught something in my own practice, and I was like, “Oh, hold up, we have to talk about this.” So, saddle in, get your cup of tea, settle in, because we're going to have to have a conversation about wording. It might be really nuanced and I want you to take what's helpful and leave the rest. I want you to think about it with an open, curious mind, and decide what's best for you.  So, before we get into the show, as always, let's start with the “I did a hard thing.” Let's do it. This one is actually from someone that says-- the handle name is GottaCatchEmAll, and they said: “Thank you so much for your recent series on mental compulsions. Your podcast is truly a godsend and I've been listening nonstop ever since my friend shared it with me last month.” Now, for those of you who don't know, the mental compulsion series was a six-part series that we created here on the podcast. It had so many amazing clinicians on. If you want access to that series, you can go back and listen to previous podcasts. Or, if you sign up for our newsletter, you'll go to CBTSchool.com/newsletter. I will actually send you an amazing webpage, just one link where all the episodes are there, all the PDFs are there. It's so pretty. I have to say it is so pretty, and it's like a one-stop shop for that series. So, go over to the newsletter, CBTSchool.com/newsletter. Sign up for the newsletter. You'll get an email from me every week. But on the front end, you will receive that link. I'm so proud of it. I love it. So, I digress, sorry. They went on to say: “I suffer from a plethora of different anxieties, OCD, scrupulosity, hoarding, body dysmorphia, perfectionism. So, basically a bunch of normal human things, right? Exactly. The other day, I told my therapist that dealing with all of these issues felt like playing a game of whack-a-mole in my head, except that instead of the typical game, the mole would pop up and then a zebra and a giraffe, and so on, in a quick succession throughout the course of the day. While sobbing, I told my therapist that I didn't want to have a zoo in my head and I didn't know how to treat so many issues simultaneously. Imagine my surprise when I heard a recent episode called Whack-a-mole Obsessions, it was a relief to discover that I wasn't alone and weird or broken as I thought. I realized, instead of trying to resist or whack the zoo in my head, I could approach my anxieties and compulsions like they were different Pokemons that I could catch and train and carry around with me while I live the rest of my best life. Thank you, Kimberley, for putting on such an incredible content and for helping me and so many others navigate this difficult thing.” That is so good. Look at you working through that whack-a-mole ongoing struggle with different thoughts, different disorders, and so forth. I think so many of us resonate with this and you are definitely doing hard things. So, so, so cool.  All right. Real quick, before we get to the frustration that we're all hanging out for, let's just quickly do the review of the week. This one is a shorty from Inventedcharm, and they said: “It is a mental pick me up. I love listening when I need a mental pick me up. Kimberley's voice is soothing, and she offers great tools for self-compassion and interviews other experts in the field of mental health.” So, thank you, Inventedcharm, and thank you, GottaCatchEmAll. Okay. So, here we go. I'm going to tell you a story of why I'm landing here on this episode with you today. So, once I got back from Australia, a lot of you know I spent five and a half weeks in Australia over the summer with my children. It was so beautiful. I can't tell you how full my heart was when I returned. I was energized. I was the happiest I've ever been. And you know where this is going. Yeah, we do. I crashed big time. I just went through so much sadness. I missed my family. I was angry. I had so much grief. I was feeling, actually, if I'm going to be completely honest, quite a lot of resent towards even my husband, who I love and is such a wonderful human. But I was observing resent show up because I was like, “I don't understand. I just want to be with my family and why can't I have all the things I want?” So, all these emotions started showing up.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SIT WITH EMOTIONS?  My therapist – of course, I talked with a therapist – was saying, “Everything, Kimberley, that you're saying makes complete sense. Why don't you practice sitting with your emotions?” And of course, I was like, “Yeah, that makes sense. I have given that advice myself.” And so, off I went right onto the roller coaster, or we could say the whack-a-mole to talk about the “I did the hard thing” segment, the whack-a-mole of emotions with the agenda of not numbing them like I often do. Sometimes when I work, I engage in these numbing behaviors where I just numb all of everything out by working. It's something that I've overused as a coping skill, is when I work. So, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not using any other problematic safety behaviors. I caught all these problems. So, it's like, “I think really all you've got left to do is just sit with your emotions.” So, I went, “Okay, let's do it. There's no solution. There's nothing I can do about this. Let's just sit with it.” And I started to play with this idea of, okay, let's talk about what does it mean to sit with your emotions. Now, this is where, again, I'm going to identify, I've given this advice and I'm going to say, I don't think I'm going to give that advice anymore. Or if I do give it, and for any reason you don't catch me doing this, you can always bring it to my attention, but I'm going to do my best, is I'm going to add another sentence to the whole “sit with your emotions” concept, because let's say often you guys have heard me say, “Sit with anxiety, sit with your anxiety.” And that's helpful because we know that doing compulsions with anxiety is a problem. If you resist or avoid or try and remove your anxiety, it's going to create more problems. But where that gets in the way is it doesn't mean you just sit there and do nothing but stare at the wall and just let the anxiety beat you into a pummel. No. I think that the mistake I'll make, and I'm going to be completely transparent, I think the mistake I make is I'm assuming you guys know what I mean by that, and I'm assuming that you know, I mean, don't just sit there and stare at the wall.  There were a couple of days where I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I did just sit there and be like, “Okay, I'm allowing this. I have to allow it. I'm sitting here. I'm allowing it. Oh man, this is hard,” until I was like, “Wait a second. This is not helpful. Just sitting here and letting it pummel me, that's not the whole picture. There has to be tools and skills associated with it.” That's where I'm talking about in regards to anxiety. It's a great concept, but what do we actually mean when we say, “Sit with your emotions”? We mean, allow it, particularly when we're talking about fear. We're saying, don't interfere with it. Don't engage with it. Don't wrestle with it. Don't stir it up. And we're also saying, don't run away from it. We don't thought suppress. So important.  So, I totally believe that sitting with emotions is an important concept, but we must, and I am sorry if I haven't mentioned this and I haven't gone a full explanation, we then must engage back into life. We must engage back into the things that we value. We must engage, even if we don't like it. Sometimes you have to do the dishes. Sometimes you have to get out of bed. And sometimes we have to allow emotions, embrace emotions, bring on emotions in order to get up and do those things. But that's just anxiety.  HOW TO SIT WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS?  Now, let's talk about which emotions should you sit with and which ones shouldn't you? Now, number one, there is no bad emotion. There's no such thing as a bad emotion, a negative emotion, a problematic emotion. They're all just neutral. And that's huge to know. But as I was sitting in the chair of the client instead of being the therapist, and I was really going, “Okay, I'm not going to engage in these behaviors. I'm going to instead just allow them and sit with them,” I realized sometimes asking yourself to sit with an emotion, particularly ones like guilt and shame, that too isn't completely helpful. We need to put an extra sentence on the end of that as well. So, we can say, “Sit with your emotion of shame, but also be aware of the stories it's telling you, not taking it as a fact.” Because as I was noticing, so much shame showed up for myself in this specific situation. I was thinking, wait, if I told my client to sit with shame, but I hadn't taught them the skill of diffusing from shame or observing the story of shame, they're going to have shame and be like, “Oh yeah, it's true. I am bad. I'm just going to sit with the fact that I'm bad.” So, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what we mean, again, by sitting with emotions. We're not saying we're going to sit with them and accept them as fact.  Let's talk about sitting with sadness and grief because, boy oh boy, did I have sadness and grief. And it would come in waves that punch me in the face. I'd be like-- and again, I want to validate grief. Doesn't matter, it's not just losing a human body. Nobody passed away. That's definitely grief. But I was handling grief and loss of like, “Oh, I missed my family. I wish I was there. I wish I lived there. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be there. I wish the world was different. I wish COVID didn't happen.” All these things. So, I just was getting these waves of sadness. And it was important as I was “sitting with sadness.” That's okay. We want to do that. We want to allow it. We don't want to interfere with it. We don't want to run away from it. We want to embrace it. But we don't want to thicken it with hopelessness as we sit there. We don't want to thicken it with like, “Yeah, bad things are going to keep happening and there's not hope.” That will only create more problems.  HOW TO SIT WITH SADNESS?  So, when we say “sit with your emotions,” particularly the one of sadness, we actually want to sit in sadness again with non-judgment, with curiosity, with awareness of other things. And when I did that, when I sat with my emotions and was curious and open, I noticed like LA's got a beautiful, beautiful scene. The vibe is really cool. I love my house. I really do love my house. I love the fact that my house is surrounded by trees. I love my family. And I allowed me to be open to sadness and other parts of my life here. So, again, I'm bringing this up of just like in that moment of doing the action, I was thinking, oh my goodness, we need to make sure we expand our description of what it means to sit with your emotions.  If you need more step by step, in my book, The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD, if you have OCD, I actually have a full chapter on managing strong emotions. And in that book, I actually did, I believe, a good degree of explanation. But I wanted to get on here and set the-- what do you say? Set you straight? That's not right. Set the story straight. I don't really know what that saying is, forgive me. But I wanted to be really clear and actually correct if I've ever said this term, “sit with your emotions.” It's not a bad term. I actually almost called this episode “Why I'll never say sit with your emotions again.” But the truth is, I won't. I can't hold that as true. So, I changed it to “What does it really mean to sit with your emotions,” and how can we add additional context to that statement so that it doesn't mean you're just indulging the emotion and all of the trash that some emotions can leave behind. And what I mean by trash, I'm not judging, it is like, with sadness comes hopelessness sometimes. So, we want to be careful not to engage with that and infuse too much with that. With shame comes a story that you're bad, that you're wrong, that you don't have any worth. We don't want to indulge or engage in that while we allow and experience the emotion of shame.  HOW TO SIT WITH ANGER?  Anger was another one. I went through these crazy waves of anger and talking with a therapist like, “Okay, you're having your anger.” Of course, don't lash out or say me unkind things, or catch yourself if you're starting to feel highly dysregulated. And then just sit with your emotions. And I thought, wow, again, there's that saying. But if I'm angry and I'm sitting with it, I could easily percolate on some pretty hateful thoughts. I could be sitting with and ruminating with that emotion. And that is not what we mean when we say “sit with your emotions.” So, I really wanted to just drop into this. If I were to sum up this whole episode, the thing I want you to think about the most is, there is no right way to manage an emotion and there is no right or wrong emotion. There is no-- and I talk with my patients all the time about this. There is no playbook on how this is supposed to go. The metaphor I often use is, it's like any sport. Some of you may know, I'm learning tennis. I actually pretty suck at it, but that's a whole nother story. The whole thing I'm learning is, and the reason that I suck, and I don't say that in a judgmental way, I actually think it's hilarious, is it's all about being super flexible. So, I'm standing and my knees are bent and I'm holding my racket and I'm going left to right, left to right on my feet, and I'm getting ready for this constantly changing direction of a ball. And I have to stay really flexible. So, if the ball goes all the way to the right, I have to move my legs so I can move to the right. And then if next time it goes to the left, I have to be ready to make that maneuver.  HOW TO SIT WITH OTHER DIFFICULT EMOTIONS Same goes with emotions. Your emotions are going to flip flop and go from left to right and north to west, and it's going to give you a run for your money. And we have to be able to adjust the strategy depending on what's coming to us. And that's true of emotions. In simple, we're always going to observe it, allow it, acknowledge it. In some points, we have to be curious instead of being closed and judgmental. These are skills you can use with all of them. But as I've gone through some of the more difficult emotions today, sometimes we have to catch the themes that percolate and loop us into it when “sitting with emotions.” So, that's the main thing I want to talk to you. Again, I'll tell you, as I-- I was actually driving to the dentist and I called a very dear friend of mine, and I just said, “I actually just had a major epiphany. We can't keep saying ‘sit with your emotions' as clinicians. We have to make sure we add context to what that looks like, and it means not just sitting still and doing nothing, except focusing on the emotion.” So, if this resonates with you, I hope it does. It was such an important thing I wanted to talk with you about again. Does it mean it's wrong? Absolutely not. If you're a clinician or you hear this, or you've probably even heard it from me – if you've heard it, it doesn't mean they've done anything wrong. I just want you to understand what it actually means when they say that and to add those extra sentences at the end and give context to like-- again, don't interfere with them. Don't run away from them. Allow them. Also, don't calculate and ruminate on them either.  Sending you so much love. As always, this is really hard work. So, please do remember, it is a beautiful day to do these hard things. And I will add, for any of you who are writing out waves of emotion right now, I salute you. I have such deep respect for you because it's no easy feat to choose an emotion, to choose to tolerate it and interrupt behaviors that are problematic and allow emotions to rise and fall. That is some pretty impressive work you're doing. And I just want to give you a massive shout out because it's not fun. It's hard. It's not easy. It's skillful work. It takes some stamina to do it, and it's exhausting. And so, if you're doing even 10% of this work, I applaud you.  All right, my friends, I will see you next week. Have a wonderful, wonderful week. Again, please do go to CBTSchool.com/newsletter if you want access to that mental compulsions worksheet. And I'll be seeing you in a week.