Bibleish

St. Augustine of Hippo is one of our arch nemeses. Why, you ask? Because he's to blame for a lot of our cultural shame around sex, sexuality, and homosexuality in specific. This week we re-launch one of our favorite ever Pride Month episodes, because the most annoying part is... he COULD have been a bisexual hero! Happy Pride Month, y'all!SUPPORT THE SHOWPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

We're revisiting the time we revisited the past! We got a time machine. It was expensive, but we needed it… we went back in time to find out HOW the Bible was made, WHY even, and also who dunnit. From collapsing city-states to a really hot fire, come on this adventure with us and find out what the Bible even really is. Please enjoy all our homemade (and not homemade) sound effects. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

What happens when you combine a drinking game, a Bible, and two nonsense people? Lily and Angela turn the Book of Proverbs into the drinking game "Kings"... with some Bible-ish twists! How many Proverbs can they get through? Will they remember to say BINGBONG before every turn? Is Lily actually a bunch of spiders in a trenchcoat? Find out in this relaunch episode. Here are our Bibleish Kings rules if you want to play at home:Touch your noseRhyme the last word of the last proverb readLetter game: Find a Bibleish word using the first letter of the last word readQuestions: Respond with a question ad infinitum until someone failsModernize your proverbMake a new ruleWe hope you ENJOY and play along with us!Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

We're revisiting Jonah's eventful fishing trip in Nineveh, but we also share some of the MOST exciting news for our Bibleish fam! In case you forgot, though... Jonah wins a mandatory trip to Cleveland and hitches a ride with a biker named Megalodon. Wait… ok maybe that's not right. But we drank enough whiskey to tell the ACTUAL story of Jonah and the Whale in this episode. Find out what happens when you run from God in the Bible, and how we would end this story if we were scribes.Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

Happy FIVE YEARS OF BIBLEISH, everyone! This Easter, we're bringing you a whole new tale of Ishtar - and the real-life archaeologist who felt her wrath. To our knowledge, this story has never been put together this way before. So gather 'round and enjoy our mini-tale of Biblical travel, deceit, and redemption. Special thanks (as every year) to Orangery at Pixabay for the music :) Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

As we recorded this intro on Trans Day of Visibility, we wanted to re-share one of our favorite episodes: the 6 Genders of Judaism. There are over 400 pieces of anti-LGBTQ legislation  in circulation in America today. We're here to remind everyone that being trans is not  crime, it's not unnatural, and it is definitely not new. Come sit with us for a little while and learn the Jewish understanding of gender that dates back thousands of years in the Talmud. And take good care, friends.Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

Last week Ezra showed up late to his own party. This week, he might be... TOO present. We're getting major Exodus vibes from this story, including the long journey back to Jerusalem and a bit of paranoia about making sure everyone follows the dang rules and doesn't TOUCH the STUFF. But no one (except Ezra) could have seen what was coming next... and we're pretty mad about it. Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

God's Barbecue is BACK UP AND RUNNING! This week, we lay the groundwork for Cyrus the Great, his lineage, the Jews building the second Temple, and like 1000 offerings laid down on the sacrifice grill. Oh, and Ezra, who just kind of shows up this time around. Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

Weeeee're BACK! Well, partially... because our post-lockdown immune systems are clearly still in development. After enduring Jezebel's depressing and dramatic death last season, we wanted to revisit her life in a re-release this week. We also meet Elijah, God's new BFF who goes through some asinine trials while God keeps trying to understand humans and their petty needs. Enjoy!If you enjoy Bibleish, please support this show on Patreon for exclusive access and a lot of other ridiculous(ly fun) perks!FIND US ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

Merry Chrysler and Happy Ho Days! As we continue our Christmas tradition of weaving the full story of Jesus together, Jesus and his disciples pass some deep philosophy around (always to the left) as they ponder some of life's greatest lessons. They also seem to notice Jesus has a growing amount of magical powers. It's almost like he can... walk on water?Music credits: Track 1 - Bensounds.comTrack 2 - Piano by the beautiful and talented Colette, Lily's Mom!!! We'll be taking a  break from new shows in January, so keep your eyes peeled for possible relaunch content and join us on Patreon for the latest news while we're away!Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebook

It's officially JESUS SEASON on Bibleish, but this week we're bringing back an episode that we both adore for the first time since it launched: our 2019 Christmas extravaganza! In this episode, Lily gives us an eye-opening background on the true Pagan origins of Santa, Christmas, and holiday blood-splashing. We also finish the story of baby Jeebus, follow him into his early adulthood, watch him get yelled at by his mom, and sing you some songs. We hope you enjoy and we'll see you on Christmas Day for our next episode!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Part Queen and part Priestess, Jezebel is an infamous Bible character whose reputation often precedes her. But as one of the few recurring female Bible characters who also AT LEAST IS GIVEN A NAME (!!) she receives more slander and holds more power than some might want you to believe. Find out what happened to Queen Jezebel and her Baals in this interactive episode, and join our Patreon if you'd like to access part one of our telling of Jezebel's tale.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookMusic Credits to Doug Maxwell, Asher Fulero, and Kevin MacLeod. Desert City by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/. Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100564. Artist: http://incompetech.com/Support the show

We're all a little over Elisha's shiny, no-grit personality, so this week we're doing a SPEEDRUN through Kings to cover Elisha AND a few new(ish) faces. But just when we thought Elisha had nothing too interesting left to offer, we start to wonder: is this  prophet starting to lose his finesse? Or is it normal to douse people with oil and then run away? SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Angela tells Lily the story of Eithne, Pagan goddess of the grain, and her unlikely counterpart - the King of Death. Crom Cruach is associated with Samhain for many reasons, not the least of which is his eternal affiliation with harvesting souls and marking the necessary death of Winter. Enjoy this Pagan spookytime episode. Happy Halloween, ghouls and goblins! SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

A quick announcement about today's episode... which is coming to you tomorrow for Halloween! Also, Lily has something to confess.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Biblical smut is BACK as Darlene and her family return to Shunem, the site of her last (embellished) tryst with the prophet Elisha. She has dreamt of his hands, his smile, and his embrace for seven years -- sorry, Hank -- and now she is as excited as she is nervous to see him. What she finds in her home instead gives her a shock that sends her running.  Will the long lost lovers reunite? But also does she remember that she is married? Can Lily and Angela still say words good? Listen now to find out. Sound Credit for Music: Ugonna OnyekweSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

We have Lily back! And now, we're BOTH unhinged -- because there is no wrong way to deal with grief. Join us for an update, a few chaotic laugh-cries, and a sincere moment of thanks. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled Bible chat very soon. Thank you all, we hope you are doing well and we love you. Sound Credit for Music: BensoundsSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Jephthah is not prepared for the sacrifice he'll have to make after God helps him win a ginormous battle.  Like, SUPER unprepared. But what happens as a result is the most epic Ladies' Weekend in the Bible. Come to the mountains with us, friends! No Jephthahs allowed.P.S. Join the Listeners' Ark! 2 by 2, file into our Patreon at the link below to support the show for as little as $1 a month.You can also support the show by leaving a review. We LOVE to see them, and we are so grateful for you!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Did you know God had a wife? Yeah. Asherah. The one who was written out of the Bible ON PURPOSE, but everyone really loved her. In this minisode relaunch, we talk about how dope Asherah is AND we get a super special reading of Lily's poem, which she created based off the missing pieces of Asherah's tale. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

This week we revisit one of the baddest b*tches of all time, Lilith: storm demon, night monster, and nickname to our very own Lily.  She was Adam's first wife... the one who *literally* got away! But why was she written out of the Bible? And why the bad reputation? Join us to find out  :)  SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

The sun is high, the humidity dense, and the crops are full and ready... which means it's time to celebrate Lughnasadh! In this minisode, Angela tells Lily about the August festival of first fruits and how everyone (per usual) just wanted to hop on board the Pagan train without actually owning it. Psh. Oh, and fair warning - one of us is having a damn meltdown in the intro. lolJOIN US FOR MORE:PatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Elisha gets a smutty makeover in a segment that can only be described as "Bibleish After Dark." As our adventures with Elisha continue again some more we meet a motley crew of characters, from a number of well-meaning lepers to a woman of great moral principle who maybe just HAPPENED to eat her son. NBD! SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Elisha is back again some more! And this time we're learning about his pretty cool magic tricks, and how he "tricked" an entire army into embarrassing themselves in a rousing game of Stand Before The King. We just can't help but wonder if this shiny, average-seeming guy will ever have a dark night of the soul? GET ON BOARD WITH THE WOES OF LEADERSHIP, ELISHA!SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

This week, we honor Angela's mother who loved all creatures great and small. This "mini" episode covers the life and legacy of Saint Francis, and pays tribute to the other saints who share a connection with his legacy."O God, enlarge within us the sense of fellowship with all living things, our little brothers the animals, to whom Thou hast given this earth as their home in common with us. We remember with shame that in the past we have exercised the high dominion of man with ruthless cruelty, so that the voice of this earth which should have gone up to Thee in song has been a groan of travail. May we realize that they live not for us alone but for themselves and for Thee, and that they love the sweetness of life even as we, and serve Thee in their place better than we in ours." -St.BasilSound credit goes to Bensound.comSupport the show

St. Augustine of Hippo is one of our arch nemeses. Why, you ask? Because he's to blame for a lot of our cultural shame around sex, sexuality, and homosexuality in specific. This week we re-launch one of our favorite ever Pride Month episodes, because the most annoying part is... he COULD have been a bisexual hero! Happy Pride Month, y'all!SUPPORT THE SHOWPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Underdog heroes? Possession? Drag queens? Yes. It's all here. This week we're re-launching one of our earliest, drunkest, epic-est episodes:  the tale of David, Saul, bromance, fighting, and harps! We're also featuring the episode's sponsor: The Witch of Endor Returns starring "Zooey Deschanel" (and we cannot stress those quotation marks enough.)SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

We've been avoiding this story. But in light of recent Supreme Court related events, Lily faced the beast that is the final book of Judges. Today we tell the story of an unnamed woman's cruel fate in a town far from home, and the finger-pointing tribes of Israel that really, REALLY made us say "Yes All Men." TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains direct discussion of S*xual Assault. Please take care when choosing to listen. If you'd like to download the produced version of our song for Anat, join us on Patreon! Fun fact: one of the background vocals is just Angela scream-crying into a microphone because wow everything is terrible right now! SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Elisha's back and this time it's personal... er, actually, it could be a little *more* personal. Elisha has developed a habit of sending his servant to do his bidding, even when that means delivering a miracle to a leper. What could possibly go wrong? But wait, there's more! When you buy this story you get two parables FREE, because this is a 3-in-1 episode from the book of Kings. Enjoy! Editor's Note: After recording, Angela realized that when she pulled the name GAROL from the Well, it was an accidental Broad City reference. So credit where credit is due! Even when it's just your subconscious struggling to serve up something better than "Jeffethy" (there is no superior name than that, sorry GAROL)SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

The story of Passover returns... and so do we! Y'all, we have both been through the ringer for the past four months. We've missed you. And we couldn't pass up the chance to celebrate our FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY with you this weekend on this Abrahamic Mega Holiday. In this episode we get caught up with you, share our thoughts about this momentous weekend of Spring celebrations, and present to you the store of Passover (a relaunch from our very 1st anniversary.)SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Jesus is getting a reputation, and Mary misses the simpler times when he was just running around the yard turning birds to clay. This Christmas Day we bring you part TWO of our 2021 Christravaganza Christmas Spectacular: how Jesus turned water into wine. We know this year feels different for so many of us, and Mary would certainly be able to relate. So grab your hot chocolate and cozy up with us, why dontcha! Merry Yule to us all.

Christmas feels different this year. But then again, so does Jesus. In our linear telling of his tale, we're stepping into new territory this year: exorcising demons, picking his posse, and crashing a wedding? Jesus is going through it as an adult and we're going to tell you ALL about it. Even about poor Besnergeneez. Happy Yule and tune in NEXT WEEK for Part 2 of our Christmas CHRISTRAVAGANZA friends! We wish you a safe and happy holiday week.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Shhhh baby Jesus is *still* sleeping! This VERY special episode comes to you by way of the year 2018. It is our very first Christmas episode, and we love it with all our hearts. This is the story of baby Jeebus, his mom, his dad (God), Elizabeth (WHO?!) and an announcement from us about the Christmas Double Feature you're about to get this month.Good tidings to you, dear listeners. Wherever you are. Happy Jeebus season! See you again next week! Away In A Manger by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0. Artist: http://audionautix.com/Support the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

We've reached THE END, FOLKS. Okay... not the end forever, but the end of the Old Testament! And no we don't do these episodes in order, so we WILL circle back to some things, but on this monumental occasion we just had to pull out all the stops and bring back the Bibleish Time Machine to visit 500 B.C. and our new friend Malachi the avant garde performer! In reality he was a prophet, but today you get to see him perform his greatest prophetic hits. This is not to be missed. Special thanks to Bensound.com for the audio and Lily's neighbor Zebulon for the transcendent character voice in the background.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Joshua has been on a mission to destroy every existing Kingdom on his quest through the Promised Land. But can he really take down 31 KINGS? Well, lucky for you, Lily made a song to explain it. Tune in to find out if Joshua can complete his mission before God bids him farewell, because He thinks Joshua has gotten old and gross. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Ready to go for a terrifying journey to the Valley of Dry Bones? In this week's SPOOKY Halloween episode we summon you to witness the army of the dead, and Ezekiel's madness. Or is it madness? You decide.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

What's so wrong with eating a really great lizard anyway?! And why all the MOLD? Gather round friends, this week we are unpacking the great journey of Leviticus! We're discussing the book in a bit more detail based off our EPIC video episode from last week. We also have a special offer for you tucked away in this episode. So listen and enjoy!And if you haven't gotten the chance to take a look at last week's episode, grab a snack (manna is fine, or whatever you have handy) and watch it here: https://youtu.be/EYGDjDdSd_4SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

HEY! DISCLAIMER: for the full experience, WATCH this multimedia masterpiece on YouTube (https://youtu.be/EYGDjDdSd_4) ... this is Bibleish 360! In today's very extra super special episode, we gathered three friends, a camera, and Marlowe the Very Good Dog to play LEVITICUS: THE BOARD GAME, which we've been sneak previewing for weeks! Lily created this game when an un-fan e-mailed us a quote from Leviticus, citing it as a reason we should stop supporting the LGBTQ community. But we guarantee the author of that e-mail has committed many more sins listed in this big, bad book... so Lily created a board game to show just that. Join us as we travel through the desert of sin, faced with mold, menstruation, leprosy, and the ever-watching eye of God who is quick to punish every step you take. Also, by the way this game turned out, we may have inadvertently proven the existence of the Biblical God but... you'll have to judge that for yourself.WATCH: https://youtu.be/EYGDjDdSd_4JOIN US ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcastSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Lest we forget, Moses and the Israelites' journey was long, difficult, and critical to figuring out their faith. This week we FINALLY got together in person to work on a very special upcoming project that will show you very literally what their journey to Mount Sinai entailed. So please enjoy the re-launch of our original episode, "How Do You Jew (Part 2)", to get caught up and excited for the surprises ahead!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Moses is BACK! Well, kind of. He's not Jesus so no surprise reappearances (spoiler alert.) This week we're relaunching one of our fan-favorite episodes to get us ALL up to speed on Moses' story as we continue to pave our way through the Promised Land. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Some of the most common English phrases have Biblical roots, even if you've never known their origin. Want to take a guess at which ones? Spoiler alert: we only passed this test by the skin of our teeth. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

On location, touring around the nation, the Israelites have garnered a big reputation... and it's about to bite them in the donk. When the next city on their conquest bucket list hears of their approach, they devise a sneaky plan to try and ward off Joshua and the Israelites. But who has a right to this land? And this city was supposed to be closer... who broke the holy GPS?Tune in to find out!P.S. We want to know your Hello Operator lyrics. Email us at bibleishpodcast@gmail.com

After TOOTING their horns at Jericho 'til it fell down, Joshua and his army set their sights on the city of Ai. It should be an easy battle, but there's a terrible secret afoot: one of his men has selfishly swiped some holy valuables and God is PISSED about it. Listen now to find out what happens to Joshua, Achan the thief, their 30,000+ friends, and um... why does that rock quarry over there looks so suspicious?Music credit: BensoundsSUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

A lone tumbleweed skitters across the barren desert. The high noon sun glimmers on the holy breastplate of a Levite looking for his next big adventure. Micah and his stolen sheckel shrine are about to meet their match as the Dan Gang gallops in over the horizon. Who will win this (un)holy showdown? Also, what is God even up to right now? Tune in now for this weeks' Western adventure in the land of Bibleish.  SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

God tells Joshua to lead his 40,000 to *do their lil dancey dance* around Jericho. Why? BECAUSE THIS IS WAR. No, seriously - join us for this adventure that takes us over the river, through the hills, and to the wh0rehouse we go. Just one thing... who's that guy waiting at the gate?!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

It's PRIDE MONTH, y'all! And this year, we're not just talking about Biblical gays... we're passing the mic to the Jewish Talmud to learn about gender in classical Jewish texts. Sounds surprising, right? The Bible doesn't directly mention anyone other than "men" and "women" but we all know that trans and intersex folks didn't just *appear* in the last 50 years. So join us for a lens on the O.G. Jewish understanding of gender that dates back thousands of years, and celebrate Pride with the Bibleish crew!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

What happens when a Biblical Prophet receives midwestern hospitality in his time of need? In this case, Elisha gets a roof under his head, a hot dish, and a heartbreak. In today's episode we meet Darlene, her husband Hank, and the blessing Elisha tried to bestow upon them. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

A 165-pound book written by the Devil himself? This Medieval treasure was considered one of the wonders of the world at one point, and it even contains the groundbreaking work of St. Isidore - Patron Saint of TEH INTERNETS. Gather round for a story, friends! You're about to get donked.SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

POV: you're putting together your army for a war. If you didn't bring a harp player, well, then in this story you LOSE. This week we're talking about what Elisha is up to after Elijah finally sheds the burden of... being Elijah. Elisha asked for twice the portion of Elijah's powers and this story shows it.  Join us for the journey!SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

Is Lil Nas X a Satanist? For those who believe Satan is a real entity, watching Lil Nas X give him a lap dance in his MONTERO music video might be the shock of a lifetime. But for the ladies of Bibleish... it's a great reason to revisit one of our most-loved episodes, Satanism and The Black Pope!In this Minisode Reboot we have a quick conversation about this recent controversy and share our feelings about its impact on the LGBTQ community. And then, we present to you our original mini episode about what the Satanic Temple really is, where it came from, and what theater nerds have to do with it. SUPPORT THE SHOW ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

We're BACK! After a long, quarantined hiatus, we're so excited to celebrate the FOURTH anniversary of Bibleish with you on this fine Easter day. This year we bring you the story of JESUS - but NOT the resurrection. Instead, we're exploring how Jesus started his posse of nobodies, and some of the first magic tricks he performed (read: healings.) We also discuss how his character is much more like a Che Guevara than a whitewashed, peaceful, "let's all just get along" type. How, you ask? Tune in to find out! SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)

If the holidays have you feeling like you're wandering and alone this year, you aren't the only one. And not just in the global sense. For this year's Bibleish Christmas episode we bring you nostalgia, songs, and the story of the temptation of Jesus as he did some soul-searching in the desert. Who is this mysterious man that walks so seductively across his path? Will they meet again? Will Jesus ever rejoin his friends and family? Listen now to find out.We wish you all a safe, happy, and healthy Yule. We'll see you again in 2021, and as always, we're here to connect if you want to reach out to us!Thanks and music credits for background music goes to Bensound.com, and we feature a special cameo from Lily's mom. SUPPORT BIBLEISH ONPatreonInstagramFacebookLOVE THE SHOW? PLEASE LEAVE US A REVIEW!Support the show (http://www.patreon.com/bibleishpodcast)