Make Your Damn Bed

cognitive dissonance is unavoidable and sometimes even helpful, but we have to be willing to consciously address the ways we're not aligning with our values so we can be a part of creating the world we want to live in. THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-dissonance-theory/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSA Become a READING PARTNER Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A lot of us are forced to make decisions daily that don't align with our values. Many of us continue working for or otherwise supporting the evil corporation we wish to divest from, or we continue eating factory farmed meat despite wanting to lean into more plant based options, or we spend all day scrolling for companies we don't want to have our data. I check social media despite knowing it will worsen my mood and overall health. I have stayed in relationships I knew were unhealthy because it felt easier than starting over. I've bought Temu clothes despite believing deeply in more ethical consumption. I drive a lot for someone who preaches about climate change caused by oil companies. I complain constantly about consumerism but I still end up buying shit I don't need. I have had to vote for people I don't agree with to avoid voting for other candidates I agree less with. I know sleep is important but I also routinely trade it for shit that isn't.Change feels bigger than it is because humans tend to prefer what is familiar. This is sometimes called the status quo bias, and we do it for a variety of reasonable reasons. Maybe it is because we want to prevent a potential loss. Most humans tend to focus on what we have to lose, rather than what we have to gain and this keeps us tied to the “way things are” rather than branching out and trying something new. Maybe it's the sunk cost fallacy. Our tendency to continue dumping our time, our money, and our efforts into the things we've already invested into, even if it's not beneficial. Maybe it's cognitive dissonance. Maybe it's a combination of everything weighing on us to stay the same even when the same isn't working. Everyone, including myself, has gotten too comfortable “minding their business” to the detriment of society at large. And over time, the more we act in ways that doesn't align with what we actually want and value in the world, the more depressed we get. Our decisions aren't just impacting the world around us, but they are impacting our spirits, our minds, our beliefs. When I feel the best about myself, it's because I'm doing as much as I can to make my spirit feel aligned with my values. I'm eating right, not just because it's healthier, but because I have forced myself to be more conscious of the process. THE SOURCES:https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-dissonance-theory/Practice disobedience guideBDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Annas Archive.DSA READING PARTNERS Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We produce machines that are like men and men who are like machines." "Why is man so prone to obey and why is it so difficult for him to disobey? As long as I am obedient to the power of the State, the Church, or public opinion, I feel safe and protected. In fact it makes little difference what power it is that I am obedient to." Erich Fromm: On DisobedienceFollow the BDS movement.How to organize clothing swaps with your friends.Ride share option: Choose Empower over uberAccess free resources on Annas Archive.Support your local DSA Become a READING PARTNER Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practicing disobedience is not an all or nothing strategy. Do what you can when you can how you can. Anything is better than nothing. Reclaim your time where you can, especially at work. Cancel your amazon. Stop buying fast fashion. Learn to mend and sew. Do a clothing swap. Support the BDS movement. Shop local when you can. But don't be hard on yourself if you can't make these changes. Becoming more conscious is a process. It takes time. THE SOURCE: https://caitcamelia.substack.com/p/disobey-or-dieAccess Cait Camelia's full guide to ethical consumptionBDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Empower over uberAnnas Archive.DSA READING PARTNERS Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reject the surveillance state. Trash your Alexa. Drown your ring camera. Reject all unnecessary permissions. Turn off any added access where possible. Stop using google for everyday searches. Poison the "AI" well with false information. Stop relying on algorithms so much.THE SOURCES:https://caitcamelia.substack.com/p/disobey-or-diehttps://caitcamelia.substack.com/p/violence-might-be-the-answerhttps://caitcamelia.substack.com/p/a-short-guide-to-practicing-disobedienceBDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Empower over uberAnnas Archive.DSA READING PARTNERS Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Disobedience requires courage - not only the courage to break a rule but the courage to stand alone in doing so.Some rules are created for the protection and best interest of everyone following them. They are implemented to keep people following the same procedures and processes so that things can be done effectively, efficiently, or enjoyably. A teacher implements rules because they want to create an environment where the students can learn. The goal is to benefit the students, so the rules are in place to achieve the same goal as the person following the rules. Mutually beneficial rules to organize a classroom for the interest of learning. Of course there are teachers that do not have their students best interest at heart and they may abuse the hierarchy to create rules that are irrational. But in theory and most instances, rational authority is something that changes with the needs of the room the rules are governing. Mass disobedience begins with a single act of bravery.THE SOURCE: https://caitcamelia.substack.com/p/disobey-or-dieAccess Cait Camelia's full guide to ethical consumptionBDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Empower over uberAnnas Archive.DSA READING PARTNERS Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jung had some interesting takes on personality and archetypes, many of which don't hold up today. That said, they are interesting and insightful in other ways. THE SOURCES: https://appliedjung.com/blog/four-steps-to-transformation-in-jungian-psychology-and-gnostic-alchemyhttps://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-jungs-4-major-archetypes-2795439Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You are not only what you consciously intend. You are also what you habitually avoid, deny, and disown. The shadow is not your enemy, and it is not your identity. It is the place where refused life accumulates, waiting to be integrated into a conscious relationship.Shadow work can support personal growth because it reduces the need for denial and projection. It can also soften the intensity of emotional reactions, not by erasing emotion, but by making emotion more intelligible. It can support better relationships, in part because you become less driven to assign your unwanted qualities to others.One thing I appreciate about the villain archetype is the confidence it implies. Darth Vader isn't gonna procrastinate because he is too tired or lacks the confidence to start. Bad guys don't tend to second guess themselves constantly or question whether or not they deserve it. They always deserve it. They don't give a fuck about anyone else's approval. https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explainedRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're not broken, you're human. And being human is often difficult and contradictory work. Shadow work is grounded in deep internal reflection, not self-optimization. "Jung describes the shadow as containing not only rejected or socially unacceptable impulses, but also normal instincts and creative capacities that have been disowned in the process of adaptation. The problem is not that these impulses exist. The problem is whether they remain unconscious and therefore act autonomously.Integrating the shadow does not mean indulging it or acting it out. It means recognizing that certain impulses, emotions, or desires are part of your psychic reality and taking conscious responsibility for how they are held and expressed. Jung emphasizes that this task "challenges the whole ego-personality," requiring sustained ethical effort rather than a dramatic confession or catharsis.From this perspective, shadow work does not excuse harmful behavior. On the contrary, it reduces the risk of unconscious enactment by bringing disowned material into conscious awareness. This is why Jung places ethical responsibility firmly with the ego. Awareness increases choice. Lack of awareness increases compulsion."https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explainedhttps://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Confidence, drive, boundary setting, focus, and self-led intention are considered "bad traits" in a patriarchal society, but they aren't.https://moral-ranking.fandom.com/wiki/Villainshttps://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explainedhttps://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One thing I appreciate about the villain archetype is the confidence it implies. Darth Vader isn't gonna procrastinate because he is too tired or lacks the confidence to start. Bad guys don't tend to second guess themselves constantly or question whether or not they deserve it. They always deserve it. They don't give a fuck about anyone else's approval. https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journeyhttps://www.abuddhistlibrary.comhttps://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all love the idea of a redemption arc. We love the idea of hitting rock bottom and bouncing up and transforming into a confident, powerful badass permanently. As humans, we tend to see things in black and white, before and after, cut and dry. But it's important to remember that no timeline or journey or arc is linear. Unfortunately life, and healing, is a messy process. Unfortunately it is not something you can win or lose, but instead relies on a perspective shift that allows compassion and integration to be able to react better, not perfectly. Prioritizing yourself (after years of not) might piss off the people around you who are used to you self sacrificing for them. This transition period will be uncomfortable for them and you. Adjust anyway. Again, I'm not saying to be mean or neglectful but you must learn to set some actual boundaries, and start to take yourself and your own capacity into consideration, and stop abandoning yourself in order to take care of everyone else. When you do this, with enough time and practice, you'll be teaching others that they are capable of taking some of the burden they'd offloaded onto you. And you'll be teaching your own nervous system you are safe and someone who can be trusted. Correcting those who criticize or dislike or misunderstand you cannot become the priority. You have to build your tolerance for unpopularity. Now admittedly, I initially had some hesitation to say embrace your “villain” era because I don't want anyone who is already evil to feel empowered to be more evil, but I do truly believe that there is a select few of us human beings who need to be explicitly taught how to prioritize ourselves, which means we need to unlearn some of the ingrained habits that make us feel like we HAVE to be “good” a the expense of what is actually fair and right. So the villain I'm speaking about is not the type of villain that will harm others to get ahead, but instead the type of villain that realizes the power in prioritizing their needs so they can get back to elevating the collective needs of the world around them. I'm speaking specifically to those people who's empathy for other people has become such an inherent part of their identity that they've forgotten their own humanity in the process.The idea is to integrate the parts of ourselves we've blocked out so we can become whole. Integration is the goal, instead of leaning into the tendency to neglect certain aspects and label them as undesirable. SOURCES:https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journeyhttps://www.abuddhistlibrary.comRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Part of me wants to beat a bitch's ass and part of me wants to shut down completely. This conflict makes us feel bad for feeling bad. We have to learn how to integrate these conflicting feelings. Mental housekeeping is a crucial part of the process."We all go through the healing cycle many times in our lives. It is inevitable that we may be disappointed by others' or by our own behavior at times. The forgiveness process offers a method of doing "emotional and mental housecleaning", of cleaning up the residues left by this. At first this may mean cleaning our emotional and mental household of the residue of many years of neglected accumulations of distress. It may seem like a big task to some, at the outset. However it can usually be done within a few months. Looking back once it has been done, it does not seem to large as it did at the outset. The amount of time required is probably less than one thirty thousandth part of your life time. Most of us will spend more time drinking tea or coffee than that, certainly more time sleeping! Just for a while, you will need to give it some priority. Most of us will spend more money on maintaining our motor vehicles that on maintaining our most precious possession - our sacred consciousness, our "hearts". It is always important to review how we have rank-ordered our values, and pain, tension, and disease are alerting signals when it is time to do that."The healing journey is not linear and it exists in many forms. The healing journey outlined by the Buddhist Library is:HURT. FEAR OR ANGER. FEAR AND ANGER GIVE RISE TO CONFLICTS. LOSS OF LOVE FOR SELF AND/OR OTHERS. ACTIVATION OF THE DEATH OR ILLNESS WISH. LIFT IN LIFE ENERGY.DECISION TO GET WELL WHATEVER THAT MEANS, WHATEVER IT TAKES. DECISION TO FORGIVE/ FORGIVENESS PROCESS. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. HEALING AND UNDERSTANDING.WHOLENESS AND HEALTH/ BEING TRUE TO ONE'S SELF. SOURCES:https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journeyhttps://www.abuddhistlibrary.comhttps://heroinejourneys.com/heroines-journey/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroine%27s_journeyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journeyRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOKSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The healing journey is not linear and it exists in many forms. The healing journey outlined by the Buddhist Library is:HURT. FEAR OR ANGER. FEAR AND ANGER GIVE RISE TO CONFLICTS. LOSS OF LOVE FOR SELF AND/OR OTHERS. ACTIVATION OF THE DEATH OR ILLNESS WISH. LIFT IN LIFE ENERGY.DECISION TO GET WELL WHATEVER THAT MEANS, WHATEVER IT TAKES. DECISION TO FORGIVE/ FORGIVENESS PROCESS. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. HEALING AND UNDERSTANDING.WHOLENESS AND HEALTH/ BEING TRUE TO ONE'S SELF. SOURCES:https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journeyhttps://www.abuddhistlibrary.comhttps://heroinejourneys.com/heroines-journey/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroine%27s_journeyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journeyRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Note: When I speak of women vs. men in this context I don't do it to reinforce the binary. I don't believe in the binary, but because we grew up and now exist in a society that reinforces the binary at every turn, I am speaking in regards to how we tend to be raised on gender lines. I hope this will apply to individuals regardless of gender, but when I speak about specific genders being affected, it is always in regards to our socialization. The societal expectations that were pushed upon us. NOT some feminine or masculine concept that is based in anything natural. SOURCES:https://heroinejourneys.com/heroines-journey/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroine%27s_journeyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journeyhttps://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journeyRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do no harm but take no shit.Historically, especially under a patriarchal rule, women have been taught to be selfless, self sacrificing, useful, and kind over everything else. The goal is to be seen and not heard. To be pleasant and palatable. While I think those are great virtues and attributes under a normal context, the patriarchy is not a normal context. Our society puts profits over people, so being taught to be self sacrificing is dangerous. Our society doesn't have our best interest at heart. Am I telling you to not be kind, or generous? No. I am telling you to back off of the self sacrificing role that a lot of us were forced into. Compliance, obedience, and self sacrifice is dangerous, yet it's what many of us women were taught as the “normal” expectation of us. Remember that Matilda couldn't access her magic until she was pissed off.SOURCES:https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explainedhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassionate-feminism/202505/the-post-forties-villain-erahttps://livstclaire.substack.com/p/villain-eraRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Some things are up to us and some are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions—in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations... whatever is not our own doing.” - Epictetus "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” He also said, "Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.” - Jean Paul Sartre THE SOURCE:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethics_of_Ambiguityhttps://raggeduniversity.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/The-Ethics-of-Ambiguity_-1948-Simone-de-Beauvoir-1948-.pdfRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A human being is a creature that doesn't author the architecture in which it chooses from, so it can only act within the possibilities that it is capable of perceiving and expand those possibilities though learning, which can influence but never secure the outcome of their choices and therefore must live inside a permanent tension between agency and uncertainty. Growth is not escaping that tension, growth is becoming increasingly conscious of the spiral I'm already inside, while accepting that no amount of self knowledge will ever make existence fully controllable. And at the edge of that knowledge hope and faith aren't irrational leftovers; they are what make continued participation possible when certainty runs out. - @GLUB on Tiktok The source: https://www.tiktok.com/@misstryingtomoveon/video/7672928732721450253?_r=1&_t=ZP-99DAZs1JyRjRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

be realistic, expect miracles.The universe is chaotic and the more we fight that the harder it is to deal with it. Resistance of that truth is the problem, not the truth itself. When we finally learn to accept the reality that the universe is unpredictable, we stop limiting ourselves to our expectations. I am constantly at war with the reality of the universe. I cling to shit I can't have and resist shit I can't avoid. But clinging to the illusion of control is a false sense of safety. It makes me feel like I'm doing something of value, when it's simply redirecting the little bit of control I do have into something I have no control over. Accepting that the future is not within our control frees us from the stress of trying to control it. Fighting reality takes so much mental energy and wastes our capacity for changing what actually we can change. Rigid expectations blind us to the limitless possibility of the future. I have an ampersand tattoo on my arm to remind me of the improv principle of “yes and” which is very helpful when I get stuck in my often limiting worldview of “this is it, forever.” I have found that it is a powerful practice to remember that the story doesn't end with the discomfort. Yes, I am in pain AND I can move forward. Yes, that sucked, AND I can make it suck less. As somebody who wants to “fix” everything right away and avoid all discomfort, it's nice to be able to focus on what I can actually affect instead of the reality that there's much I can't control. We can only see so much of the path ahead, our limiting ability of sight doesn't mean the path doesn't exist or we won't be able to navigate it once we get there, it just means we can't see what we haven't approached yet. BE REALISTIC EXPECT A MIRACLE.SOURCES:https://strengtheningyourconsciousself.com/free-will-willpower-and-choices/https://www.universetoday.com/articles/does-free-will-exist-part-2-the-chaotic-universeRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Uncertainty feels unbearable and can send us spiraling, keeping us trapped in our heads. It's important to get out of your head and into your body when this happens. THE SOURCES: https://gsas.harvard.edu/news/coping-uncertaintyhttps://creativemindspsychotherapy.com/2021/10/21/anxiety-happens-when-you-have-no-outlet-for-your-creativity/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Emilia Fart has a poem she published on her TikTok in which she said, “When desolate, empty, and inspiration barren, remember the apricot you'll eat next august, juice running down your chin. Remember lying on your back getting grass stains on your boomers pissing the day away. Remember wiping crumbs of good bread and butter from the corners of your mouth and smirking from the delight. Remember that beyond the outer layers of fear and control at your core there is a cord. This cord can't be eradicated can't be shrunk. This cord is a knowing. A quiet understanding that you can trust yourself. That you are held. To be human is to free fall into a void. The more you connect with that cord the more your lips curl up as the wind whips past your cheeks down the rabbit hole. The less you need to scratch the walls trying to find a root to cling to. Learn to love with every particle and need with every inch and finally, let it all go when the time comes. Stop sinking. You can accept that you are falling.” Read the article from today's episode here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can't ask karma to do compassion's job. Acceptance and action are meant to be utilized together. Learn to separate what must be accepted from what must be changed. Don't make victory a measure of your worth. THE SOURCE: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nature is indifferent to my interpretations of morality and justice. We humans tend to moralize everything, but not everything has a moral. Every ending doesn't have to feel like a punishment for bad behavior. This means that some of the most painful things that have happened to you had absolutely nothing to do with your character. You didn't make mistakes and fail and deserve some painful outcome. There is power in grieving when unfair things happen to you, but there is no use in blaming yourself or asking yourself what you could have done differently beyond acquiring some wisdom for the future. If I find myself taking things extra personally, I try to remind myself that the universe doesn't work like that. Existence is confusing and chaotic and strange and unpredictable. When something bad happens it can be really easy to wonder why it happened. What we did to deserve it? Why everyone else seems to have it better and we are the target of such a painful reality?Nature doesn't work in just or kind or loving ways. It happens because of countless factors coming together in a moment of chance. Some consider this luck, but I don't think of luck as something some people have or don't. Sometimes, the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to explain the why, and there is no grand moral story at the end. THE SOURCES: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/https://timeslife.com/life-hacks/why-do-good-people-suffer-bhagavad-gita-insights/articleshow/118564088.htmlRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You don't know what you don't know, but the curse is that you think you do. If we make a good choice that works out badly, we are often very harsh on ourselves for making that decision in the first place, even though the results are only obvious after the fact, we will still blame ourselves for not knowing the future. The hindsight bias pushes us to avoid risks, but it also brings undeserved rewards to irresponsible risk takers. We are all trying to see the world as a tidy, predictable, and coherent place, when it isn't. Unfortunately, you can't predict or control the future, no matter how lucky you are. THE SOURCES:Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slowhttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where might your current worldview be holding you back from the truth?THE SOURCES:https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Evaluating_Evidencehttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Virtues/Humility/Being_99.9%25_Ignoranthttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We shouldn't be seeking focus, we should be seeking reverence. Depth and fulfillment comes from awe. Our culture is obsessed with optimization, but that only disconnects us from our humanity. Focus keeps us. Reverence stops us in our tracks. Awe makes us more generous, loving, connected, patient, and abundant.Create space for awe by staying present and avoiding avoidance. SOURCES: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/awe-the-most-incredible-emotion-and-its-spectacular-effects/https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-right-words/202407/why-we-need-awe-and-8-ways-to-find-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-behavior-behavioral-emotions/202608/awe-is-an-amazing-emotion-but-do-we-know-what-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-circle-of-compassion/202608/the-opposite-of-distraction-is-not-focus-its-reverenceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our brains are future oriented and this can manifest into anxiety or anticipation if we're not strategic with it. Obviously, our current society has a lot of us focused on survival, which means most of our future thinking is filled with dread and hopelessness. This means we MUST deliberately create anticipation through planning small things that we can look forward to. Looking forward to something good releases feel-good hormones in our brains AND teaches our nervous systems that there is some good to be had and felt. It trains us to be more hopeful and nurtures an upward spiral, as opposed to the constant downward spiral most of us feel so stuck in. Planning a vacation is sometimes the only time you imagine yourself having a good, relaxed time, detached from work and everyday stressors, but you can imagine this without the vacation, and still reap the benefits. SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202607/the-art-of-anticipationRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hindsight is 20/20, but understanding the person you used to be (without the knowledge you have now) is so damn hard. Give yourself some grace in the learning process. You're not stupid, you're learning. SOURCES: https://youtu.be/2y5NfYwoTeo?si=vyyHCtptsSH7zpcjhttps://verybigbrain.com/psychology-thinking/the-curse-of-knowledge-why-experts-struggle-to-explain-simple-things/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledgeRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. THE SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/202608/why-people-disappoint-us-in-relationshipshttps://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definitionhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_misehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, "this is where the light is". THE SOURCES:https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the human brain doesn't prefer to expend extra cognitive effort, it will always take a shortcut, where possible. the less you analyze this reality, the more likely you are to fall into "cognitive laziness" which can reinforce stereotypes and keep us trapped in limiting world views. THE SOURCES: https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing process. You can partially release by choosing to stop ruminating, and even if you don't feel entirely at peace yet, it is important to recognize that you have made meaningful progress. Every step you take away from feeling resentment is a step toward your sense of freedom. - Kinga Mnich, PhD 1. Know exactly what you are forgiving2. Commit to forgiving for your own benefit3. Separate the person from the act4. Release unenforceable rules5. Redirect your energy toward your own lifeTHE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-scienceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

if morality is flexible and competence is subjective, how can we build self esteem around our values? Your ability to perceive society as "just" also affects your ability to regard yourself. The more internally motivated you are (outside of systemic expectations) the more you have to rely on competence over community + morality judgements. THE SOURCES: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103121001104https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01878/fullhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201312/10-sources-low-self-esteemRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self respect is a practice, not a vibe. Self respect isn't about the big wins making us feel big, but the small, consistent acts that make us feel like ourselves. The more small, value aligned choices we make, the more respect we earn for ourselves. THE SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202601/why-self-respect-is-so-powerfulRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self respect has nothing to do with the approval of others, or reputation, but it is about discipline and honesty and doing the brave thing. Facing accountability is self respect. Assessing risks worth taking and taking them, is self respect. Facing the things you've ignored is self respect. "It is the phenomenon sometimes called alienation from self. In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the spectre of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that one's sanity becomes an object of speculation among one's acquaintances. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home." Joan Didion's article: On Self RespectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

forgiveness requires a willingness to move beyond our negative feelings. fortunately, we are predisposed to heal + forgiveness is a big part of that. we just need to create the conditions to allow our natural mechanisms to function. R — Recall the Hurt: Honestly remember the transgression, without minimizing or maximizing it. This is not rumination but a clear-eyed acknowledgment of what happened and how it affected you.E — Empathize: Try to understand the transgressor's perspective — their state of mind, history, and circumstances — not to excuse but to humanize. Research shows that perspective-taking is a crucial mediator of forgiveness: it becomes harder to sustain pure resentment toward someone you genuinely understand.A — Altruistic Gift: Recall a time you needed forgiveness from someone and received it, or a time you were the one who caused harm. Recognize forgiveness as a gift you can offer — not because it's deserved but because you know what it's like to need it. This step frames forgiveness as a generous act rather than a capitulation.C — Commit: Make a public or written commitment to forgiving — journaling about it, telling a trusted person, or simply writing a statement. Commitment makes the decision more durable and resistant to resentment's return.H — Hold onto Forgiveness: Expect that resentment will return and prepare to recommit to forgiveness when it does. Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time achievement; renewing the commitment when resentment resurfaces is normal and expected.THE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-scienceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

forgiveness isn't excusing harmful behavior, and it surely isn't forgetting. forgiveness is about your personal healing journey. it's not about absolving them, but instead, it's about reclaiming your agency. THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://thepbtinstitute.com/the-science-of-forgiveness-how-your-brain-and-body-can-benefit-from-national-forgiveness-day/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

are you avoiding danger or discomfort?To figure this out you can: name the threatidentify your feelingslearn to identify true threats vs. discomfortpractice responding with a stretch rather than reacting with a snap. rehearse new endings to similar stories It may take some practice to build up your capacity for peace and safety. THE SOURCE: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbLwPVqOpzH/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self-awareness is a tool to help you live, not the entire point of living. Every single thing we do, think, and say is a form of spellwork. We are energetic beings who release and absorb energies with every second that passes. Naturally there will be some unavoidable energetic interruptions that we will have no control over, but there are countless forms of energy that we nurture or ignore depending on our moods and our subconscious minds and our immediate reactions. The more aware we are of our capacity to decide on which of these energies we want to absorb or nurture, the easier it is to make decisions from a conscious place rather than an automatic one. There's a limit to self awareness. Sometimes it goes full fucking circle and you need to make yourself less aware so you can return to joy and life and conscious presence. Kinzermb on IG wrote: "It's funny that the very people we judged for being oblivious are the very people we need to take a lesson from. Because not everything is about noticing, life is about experiencing. And often times, the self aware person in all their thinking will do whatever they can to avoid discomfort while the less “aware” person will accept it as a part of life. It seems now there is a wisdom in this so called ignorance, and we call that wisdom acceptance. Because though one may not ponder the nature of reality like you do, they may not ponder how they are being perceived constantly. You see there are pros and cons to both but if you never leave your mind, and that constant self awareness, you'll never have an opportunity to enjoy your life. Leave your comfort zone. Experience discomfort, show yourself you can survive it and actually learn from it, and your life will improve.” SOURCES:IG THETRAUMAEDUCATOR IG CHRISTABELMINTAHNWANKWOIG KINZERMBIG AMYTHELIFECOACHRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing you can do in a relationship is clearly and concisely distance yourself from it until you figure out how to navigate it more appropriately. To develop a robust grief process we must 1. Mourn what is lost. 2. Name what is good. 3. Release what was not. Stepping back, creating distance, and taking space are crucial aspects to the healing process. There is huge difference between a well intentioned apology and real long term repair. If you have a conflict or suffer from a betrayal your brain and body can't just lean into a well worded and well intentioned apology as a bandaid for all of the harm that was caused. I wish words were enough but that's like saying a broken arm can be healed with a diagnosis. Just because the X-Ray says you have a broken arm it doesn't solve the problem. The diagnosis is a great start to healing properly, but it doesn't mean the work stops there. You've got to prove to your brain and body that you're not going to let this get worse, happen again, and you're going to behave differently now so you can create a safe space to relax and heal properly, which takes time. SOURCES: IG THETRAUMAEDUCATOR IG CHRISTABELMINTAHNWANKWOIG KINZERMB IG AMYTHELIFECOACH Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting everything they did and letting them back in. It means you've stopped poisoning yourself trying to hurt them.SOURCE: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692https://envisiontherapydfw.com/forgiveness-isnt-trust-its-releasing-the-burden-they-left-behind/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“And if happiness should surprise you again, do not mention its previous betrayal. Enter into happiness, and burst.” Mahmoud Darwish https://psychcentral.com/health/when-joy-feels-scary-resilience-building-practices#tipshttps://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/kmz35o/how_did_you_get_over_the_habit_of_constantly/https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZFuUBNgY9npG08L_36uTE6cvYNBGfT3gMxEmU0/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The goal isn't to be constantly regulated, but to understand how to regulate so you can cope with disregulation appropriately. It's about building trust with your healing self, rather than being "healed" fully in some "final" way. SOURCE:https://worthyselfcare.com/why-calm-isnt-the-goal-nervous-system-resilience-is/https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/evolution-internal-family-systems-model-dr-richard-schwartz-ph-dhttps://www.cethni.com/awakening-the-inner-light-a-guide-to-buddha-nature-and-daily-practice/https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our different parts are there to protect the true self, but these parts aren't static, permanent parts there to keep us from ourselves. Through systems thinking + the multiplicity of the mind, we can integrate these parts to center our selves and allow them to act without interference. SOURCE:https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/evolution-internal-family-systems-model-dr-richard-schwartz-ph-dhttps://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are no bad parts, only parts that need to be integrated. SOURCE: https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a re-release. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a re-release. "This is the economy now. Not a distribution of opportunity. A redistribution of friction. But friction isn't the enemy!!!! It's information. It tells us where things are straining and where care is needed and where attention should go.And it's not all bad news. Because friction is also where new systems can emerge. Every broken interface, every overloaded professor, every delayed flight is pointing to something that could be rebuilt with actual intention."THE SOURCE: https://kyla.substack.com/p/the-most-valuable-commodity-in-theRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Similarly to the Pixar movie, INSIDE OUT, where her emotions are portrayed as totally different characters that experience different experiences and roles and access different memories. In IFS therapy, they refer to these characters as parts. A majority of your parts will take on protective roles, he uses the example of managers and firefighters, but other parts carry pain or trauma from past experiences, exiles, but crucially, there are NO BAD PARTS. In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to SOURCE: https://www.ceangail.ie/blog/tips-for-starting-internal-family-systemshttps://ifs-institute.com/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapyRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the challenge of the unknown > the disappoint of the familiar you have to change some variables if you're trying a new experiment Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don't let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive."It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you look for the beauty in the world, you will see it in everything. The light, the sounds, the smells, the feelings. If you look for the horrors, you'll see it in everything, too. Focus on the light so you can create and become more of it. Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don't let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive. It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin To love someone else is easy, but to love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron: it burns into you and that is very painful. Therefore, to love somebody else in the first place is always an escape which we all hope for, and we all enjoy it when we are capable of it. But in the long run, it comes back on us. You cannot stay away from yourself forever, you have to return, have to come to that experiment, to know whether you really can love. That is the question-whether you can love yourself, and that will be the test. - CARL JUNGRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.