The Prancing Pony Podcast

A deep dive into Tolkien's oldest stories about the Dwarves uncovers all sorts of interesting details, as Alan hands the reins of the PPP to Sara for her expertise on the Dwarves. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we explore the origin, awakening, culture, and language of Tolkien's Dwarves as we take a sidebar into several volumes of The History of Middle-earth. From their early nature as evil creatures, to the fact that they all — women and babies, too — have beards, learn more about the Dwarves than you ever thought you could. Alan and Sara discuss recession-proof industries, dutifully avoid Disney jokes and figure Durin must have asked Aulë: “How could you just leave me standing alone in a world so cold?” Also, Sneezy and Bashful were the hardest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They say that Gandalf is wise and knows more than any other of what goes on in the world; they say Alan can sometimes do math. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we continue our team in Appendix A III to The Lord of the Rings, on Durin's Folk. Thorin is too proud to beg, Gandalf begins to worry about Smaug and Sauron becoming BFFs, and Gimli says he don't care where we go, he don't care what we do, just take me with U to the Undying Lands. Alan and Sara ask what Sauron would have actually done with the Seven, agree that bequeathing vengeance is not very kind to your descendants, and wonder what might happen if the Dwarves were just nicer to their women. Also, we knew Finrod — you're no Finrod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thráin escapes the Balrog in Moria and establishes Erebor; Sara can't escape Alan and the PPP quite yet, despite her best efforts. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin a five-part look at the Dwarves, starting with two episodes on Appendix A III to The Lord of the Rings on Durin's Folk. Durin the Deathless lived a very long time, but still managed to die - for now; the Balrog drives Durin's Folk out of Moria — there were people runnin' everywhere, tryin' to run from the destruction; and Azog signs his own death certificate: on Thráin's forehead. Alan and Sara wonder how new baby Durins are recognized, ask if cold drakes have air conditioning, and salute Azog for not using Comic Sans MS. Also, Nar the pirate dwarf from Somerset shows up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a long reign as King, Aragorn finally takes his rest, and a great beauty was revealed in him; after a season of the PPP, Alan takes a week off, and… well, the comparison ends there. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan for an unexpected episode as we conclude the now three-part discussion of The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen from Appendix A of The Lord of the Rings. Arwen tries to convince Aragorn to wait (if you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me); Aragorn speaks no comfort to her, but offers hope; and Arwen's death is even more tragic than at first glance. Alan and Sara ask why Elrond didn't stick around a bit longer, think through what “the Elder Days” means now, and accuse Ar-Pharazôn of dining and dashing. Also, Alan asks Sara about The War of the Rohirrim. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PONY and get on your way to being your best self! Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code PONY at ShopMando.com! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After years away doing errantry, Aragorn returns to Rivendell, looking like an Elf-lord. After a week away doing a few errands, Alan returns to the Common Room, looking much the same. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan for the second of three episodes on The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen from Appendix A of The Lord Of the Rings. Aragorn just couldn't stand to be kept away, Arwen renounces the Twilight, and Elrond sets the highest of bars. Alan and Sara discuss the importance of choice, renounce Twilight too, and advise you to get betrothed for the job you want, not the job you have. Also, Alan feels a pressing need to change his nickname. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PONY and get on your way to being your best self! Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code PONY at ShopMando.com! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gilraen's mom and dad have differing opinions on whether she should marry Arathorn; Alan and Sara just have differing opinions. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin a two-part series — which rapidly becomes three parts — on The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen as the PPP returns to Appendix A in The Lord Of the Rings. Aragorn strays into a dream and discovers she's the meaning in his life, she's the inspiration; Elrond seems to learn a lesson from Thingol's error; and Aragorn has some errantry to run. Alan and Sara wonder what song Aragorn was singing, speculate about Aragorn's teenage angst, and decide that Aragorn's journeys must have taken him at least 500 miles from Arwen's door. Also, Sara's retirement dreams: bon-bons in the Hall of Fire. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PONY and get on your way to being your best self! Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code PONY at ShopMando.com! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to come into the Common Room with The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we answer listener questions again in our 30th Questions After Nightfall! From the necessity of real-world physics to whose brooch did Bombadil find; from Fëanor's favorite games to Thingol's quite-appropriate guilt, our listeners always bring their A game… or would that be their Q game? Alan is confusticated and bebothered, and Sara reminds us all of how Tolkien could do all that he did. Also, never disrespect librarians. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join the Tolkien fandom and community — along with The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark — for the PPP's 10th annual Tolkien Reading Day, observed every March 25 in honor of the destruction of the Ring and the downfall of Barad-dûr. This year's theme, as chosen by the Tolkien Society, is Fellowship and Community — and not only do we have some incredible readings that showcase this year's them, the PPP is demonstrating its own fellowship by bringing in each of the co-hosts from the last two seasons! Matt stops the story of Beleg where it ought to have ended, Don sings a bath song, James prepares to say goodbye to Rivendell, Sara leaves the Quenya for Alan, and Shawn makes Alan feel at home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Man of the West bids farewell to The Nerd of the Rings, as they welcome everyone's favorite ancient and military historian back to the PPP: Dr. Bret Devereaux, author of A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry returns to answer an absurd number of questions that Alan and Matt have come up with from their last ten episodes. We get our 40k references out of the way early, discover Bret doesn't read Old Norse, get an expert explanation of weregild, and have our eyes opened to Helm Hammerhand's missteps. We also discuss peace through Black Death, wonder what the Quenya would be for “It's all yours, buddy”, and lament the fact that the tales, they are so unfinished. Also, the emperor's name is spelled Pupienus, just to be clear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Marshals of the Mark faithfully serve the King by leading their trained Riders in battle; Matt faithfully serves Alan by… well, we're still figuring that one out. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as they dive into the inner workings of Rohan's command structure in our final episode on The Battles of the Fords of Isen from Unfinished Tales. Turns out Théoden was pretty young as far as Kings of Rohan go, Éomer gets all the duties of a job without its title, and it turns out keeping the key to a fortress hundreds of miles away doesn't work out so well. We spend more time with French than we're comfortable with, issue extra pedantry points, and speculate about all the terrible things that would have happened had Gandalf stayed dead. Also, Alan alarmingly (and annoyingly) alliterates again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Erkenbrand takes command of the West-mark after the death of Théodred; Matt makes it clear that, in the event of Alan's death, he wants no such responsibility. Join us as there is a coincidence of calendars in our second episode on The Battles of the Fords of Isen from Unfinished Tales. Grimbold stands firm by the Fords, Elfhelm is the Admiral Ackbar of Rohan, and none of it really matters because quantity has a quality all its own. Matt breaks out his best Ent voice, we lament the adaptation fates of Erkenbrand, Tom Bombadil, and Glorfindel, and agree it would be a nice day for a white wizard. Also, in Bilbo's next book, he interviews Fingolfin on challenging Morgoth: “I've had better days.” Finally, here's the link we promised for Tom Shippey's talk: https://www.swarthmore.edu/news-events/tolkien-book-to-jackson-script-medium-and-message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Rohirrim are loyal to Théoden, even in his dotage; Matt's loyalty to Alan is in doubt. Join us as Saruman begins his assault on Rohan with a strategic faux pas in the first of three episodes covering The Battles of the Fords of Isen from Unfinished Tales. Wormtongue pits brother against brother, Théodred proves to be the Faramir of Rohan, and Grimbold and Elfhelm save what's left of a very bad day. We ask when a brother is like a father, wonder where Éomer was when the Fords fell, and explain unfortunate sports analogies. Also, Alan changes his mind: will wonders never cease? Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/pony. This episode of the PPP is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PONY and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Isildur counsels his successors to bring their heirs to the Hill of Awe to reveal the secrets of the realm; Alan and Matt wonder if there's a Gondorian equivalent to Area 51. Join us as we step back in time to the establishment of the Tradition of Isildur in our final episode on Cirion & Eorl. Isildur gets out a map and points to the middle (like putting a memorial to George Washington in the middle of Kansas), the Stewards play rules-lawyer to justify their going to the hallow and then hardly ever go, and Cirion makes a tough decision about exhumation. We discover that Tolkien thinks he'd squandered his best “motifs and characters” in The Hobbit, discover that an absence of dead people means an absence of alfirin, and suggest that you talk to your doctor to see if Meneldil is right for you. Also, a Barrow-wight that sounds a little like Tom Bombadil. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/pony. This episode of the PPP is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PONY and get 10% off your first month. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code PONY at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Steward of Gondor and the Lord of the Éothéod swear oaths to one another; Alan and Matt simply try not to swear at one another. Join us as Eorl knows it's time to ‘show the way and leave today' in the fifth of our six episodes covering Cirion & Eorl. The Prince of Dol Amroth discovers the reason for the awe on the Hill of Awe, Eorl swears such an oath that we can only ever know the translation, and Cirion returns the favor by invoking the name of Eru for the first time in 2500 years. We wonder if Eorl's oath was in alliterative verse, speculate about when to celebrate Rohan Day, and agree that Cirion is highly underrated. Also, let's make Christmas carols in Quenya a thing. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/pony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come on, you had to know it was coming. Everyone wonders how Cirion will reward Eorl; nobody wonders how Alan will reward Matt. Join us as Cirion and Eorl rise above the noise and confusion atop the Halifirien in our fourth of six episode covering Cirion & Eorl. Tolkien keeps hyping up the secret on top of the mountain, Cirion gives an amazing gift (but, like most men, leaves it unwrapped), and Eorl offers to seal their friendship with an unforgettable oath. We compare the Hill of Awe to the Hill of Awwwww, decide that the Éothéod deserve at least a pizza party, and visit with Trotter from Tolkien Collector's Guide about a fancy book. Also, Matt's search for Bigfoot. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/pony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cirion uses his Phone-a-Friend lifeline and, fortunately, Eorl picks up; Alan uses his Phone-a-friend lifeline and… Matt picks up. Join us as Cirion sees that the end of Gondor is “closer than you think and you're standing on the brink” in our third of six episodes on Cirion & Eorl. The Northmen contribute blood to Gondor, Borondir becomes a legend, and Galadriel runs interference for the good guys. We long to hear the unwritten songs, admire how Tolkien's heroes do the right thing because it's the right thing, and think that Ruckus in Rhovanion would be a great name for a fight. Also, hobbit strike zones and the new paladin ability: smell evil. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code pony at mandopodcast.com/pony! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ondoher learns that battlefield intelligence is crucial to survival; Alan and Matt learn that bad dad jokes are crucial to this podcast. Join us as King Ondoher closes his eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone, in our second of six episodes on Cirion & Eorl. The Gondorian army remains in column formation too long, the vanguard of the Wainriders does their job almost too well, and an unexpected guest shows up to the battle. We do more word-nerdery, hope nothing happens to Faramir (oops), and offer to beta test Total War: Middle-earth. Also, we mock Eärnur again. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code pony at mandopodcast.com/pony! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The story of Cirion and Eorl begins with an introduction to the Northmen; the story of Alan and Matt begins with Matt having to pronounce hard words. Join us as the Northmen have nothing to lose ‘cause it's already lost, as we begin our six-episode sidebar on Cirion and Eorl and the Friendship of Gondor and Rohan — can we just call it Cirion & Eorl? Narmacil II loses badly, the Northmen form the Éothéod, and the Great Plague sets everyone back a century. We learn that about Tolkien's trench fever, talk about the importance of rearguard actions, and explain the Undeeps. Also, Alan admits he's pedantic.  Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code pony at mandopodcast.com/pony! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gondor and Rohan honestly believed in Saruman, while Alan and Matt aren't sure what to believe anymore. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we look at all the Kings of Rohan, and Matt gives Alan his new nickname. Saruman's gets the keys to his new place, Aldor the Old is what it says on the tin, and no one has anything good to say about Fengel. We start with a review of the new film, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, wish we could pronounce Old English, and wonder if kings should choose more peaceful hobbies. Also, we talk about Tolkien and AI (no AI used in the generation of this blurb). Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code pony at mandopodcast.com/pony! #mandopod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hama and Haleth are inseparable; Alan and Matt, not so much. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings for An Unexpected Episode under your podcast tree, as we review the new film The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim! This blurb may be spoiler-free, but the episode certainly isn't, so see the movie first, then come and enjoy our ‘short' conversation about the movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Felaróf pays Eorl back by surrendering his freedom, while Matt pays Alan back with poetic body shaming. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we meet the first King of the Mark, and flashback to his naming of Felaróf. Fram kills Scatha, but earns the enmity of the Dwarves; Helm proves he's the original One-Punch Man; and Wulf's time as King of the Mark is short-lived. We discover a creepy poem about Scatha, make future predictions from the past, and come up with a disturbing origin story for Santa Claus.  Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.com/pony Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code PONY at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we answer listener questions once again in our 29th Questions After Nightfall! From Nazgûl backstories to chess in Middle-earth, from fantastic Middle-earth insults to the meaning of ‘crownless', our listeners once again challenge us with unexpected questions. Alan helps Matt with some music history, while Matt admits we're clueless. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code PONY at checkout! Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.com/pony Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Stewardship of Gondor became hereditary as a kingship; should the PPP co-hosts follow suit? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy on his last episode this season as the Stewards of Gondor harden their hearts against the return of a king, any king. Cirion looks for an answer, and decides to phone a friend; the Stewards keep Gondor the same, only the names will change; and Thorongil has good advice for Ecthelion. Alan finds another excuse to read Quenya, while Don looks for his copy of Parmesan Eggplant #17, and we realize we don't use “bereft” enough. Also, Mount Doom has a funny start button.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Wainriders strike Gondor, leaving them without a king for a time, while Don's old jokes leave Alan to cry a thousand rivers. Join The Man of the West and the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as the arrival of the Wainriders triggers a series of Unfortunate Events. Eärnil saves the day for Gondor, but not for Arthedain, Malbeth has some important words, and Glorfindel could afford to be more specific. We observe that if you knock Gondor down then it gets up again, note a little passive-aggressive “per my last email” tone from the Council of Gondor, and make our own Rings of Power prophecy. Also, is Don even old enough to go to a pub? Magic Mind: You have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off one time purchases with code PONY20 at checkout. You can claim it at: https://www.magicmind.com/PONY20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The waning of Gondor had already begun in Atanatar's day; let's hope Don brings better luck for the PPP. Join us as Gondor reaches the summit of its power in the first of two episodes on the Gondor and the Heirs of Anárion in Appendix A. Lazy kings and racist Gondorians lead to a civil war, Eldacar is shot through the heart and Castamir's to blame, and the greatest evil is yet to come. We talk about poetry, war crimes, and all things Goth(ic). Also, we wonder what drives a king to marry a nefarious, solitary and loveless cat-lady. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Arvedui offers the Lossoth jewels they don't want; Alan and Don offer bad puns you don't want. Join us as evil comes to Arnor as we continue our time in Appendix A, this time on Arnor and the Heirs of Isildur. Rhudaur goes bad, the Barrow-downs get new residents, and Arvedui finds he's not even halfway there. We speculate on the reason for Arnor's breakup, challenge listeners to draw a map with a crayon while blindfolded, and brook no dissent about our praise for Círdan. Also, Don gets Rhudaur in the podcast split. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien gives us 3400 years of Númenórean history in just a few pages; Alan and Don make those few pages *feel* like a 3400-year long episode. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as we walk through the line of Kings and Queens of Númenor in our second episode on Appendix A I (i) on Númenor. We wonder what would have happened if Silmariën had become the first Ruling Queen, talk about agnatic primogeniture again, and watch as Kings of Númenor come up with ‘very bad ideas'™. Also, Sara joins Alan to chat with the translator of the Welsh edition of The Hobbit, Tar-Atanamir says ‘hold my beer', and Alan gives some very depressing advice about mortality. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shall I describe it to you, or would you like Alan and Don to find you a map? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien introduces us to his island paradise in the what-it-says-on-the-tin chapter, A Description of the Island of Númenor, from Unfinished Tales! We have fun with Quenya pronunciations, decide that it's best not to build the Meneltarma Visitor Center after all, and speculate that Eldalondë the Green smelled like a smoothie shop. Also, we stumble upon a great name for a rock band, make a joke about the… larch, and wisely choose not to laugh at dancing bears. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien regrets the ‘truncated and compressed form' of the Appendices to The Lord of the Rings, while Alan and Don regret the truncated and compressed form of this episode! Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien gives us the fastest version of The Silmarillion ever in our first episode on the Annals of the Kings and Rulers. We beat the Fëanor piñata, visit the Hotel Thangorodrim and watch the Edain follow the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning to reach their new land. Also starring: grim grinning door handles and the avoided-for-that-cometh-anyway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we answer listener questions in our 28th Questions After Nightfall episode! From the negative buoyancy of hobbits to how long the wait is for a new Elf body, from Elves in HDR to Silmariën and the laws of agnatic primogeniture (which still confuse Don), our listeners pose challenging and unexpected questions. Alan blows Don's mind yet again, while Don reveals his Middle-earth power rankings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam answers all of Elanor's questions, as Alan tries to dodge most of Don's questions. Join The Man of the West and the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we look at what was almost Tolkien's post-credit bonus scene. Samwise gets writer's block, Elanor longs for the old days, and Rose remembers a moment of unexplained joy. We discuss whether Merry was Sam's ghost-writer, agree that one must stop somewhere, and look for our letter from the King. Also, Don leans into the mediocrity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, we're back. Join The Man of the West and Don Marshall, the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we begin Season 9 of The Prancing Pony Podcast with a deep dive into the first version of the Epilogue to The Lord of the Rings. We chat about elanor the flower and Elanor the young hobbit-lass, wonder when a prophecy isn't a prophecy, and get a few answers about Legolas, Gimli, and the rest. Also, we discover Ents are Alan's kinda people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bilbo wakes up from his nap just in time to pass the Old Took; Alan and Shawn wake up from our nap just in time to pass the two-hour mark. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as Sam finally figures out where Frodo is going in the last of our three episodes on The Grey Havens - and the final episode of our six-season journey through The Lord of the Rings. Gildor makes an appearance; Frodo makes a sacrifice; Sam makes the long journey home in silence (where the nights are gettin' strange since he's gone). We fanboy over Círdan, discover there was room for Shadowfax, and talk about a most Anglo-Saxon ending. Also, Bilbo and Frodo have words for Celebrimbor. 

Rosie is the girl that keeps Sam up at night, so they get married; we are the podcast hosts that keep you up at night - all we ask from you is to subscribe. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as anniversaries become dark days for Frodo in the second of our three episodes on The Grey Havens. Frodo suggests Sam and Rosie move in to Bag End with him; Merry and Pippin cut a great dash in the Shire; Sam receives a large book and a mandate to complete it. We suggest a new small business opportunity for Merry and Pippin, wonder precisely how Widow Rumble is looking after the Gaffer, and speculate about Arwen's QR code. Also: no, you shouldn't name your child Frodito, no matter what Shawn suggests.

Spring surpassed Sam's wildest hopes; Alan and Shawn are content just avoiding disappointment. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as the hobbits let the good times roll while rebuilding the Shire in the first of three episodes on The Grey Havens. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins finds redemption and popularity; the Gaffer shouts random proverbs as he moves into his new digs; and it turns out that every grain is sacred, every grain is good. We speculate about Sandyman's future, feel sorry for the kids of Shire Reckoning 1419, and unanimously declare Rosie Cotton the Shire MVP. Also, Alan buys a copy of Fredegar Bolger's new book, The Lockholes Diet.

Merry tells Sandyman that he is “dirty and insolent”, and the obvious jokes about your podcast hosts write themselves. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark for one of the saddest hours in our heroes' lives in the last of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Sam's heart is broken by the devastation in his hometown, the hobbits are met by a surprise visitor (there's magic in his eyes), and Wormtongue has finally had enough. We weep with Sam over the loss of the Party Tree, marvel at the mercy of Frodo towards Sharkey, and waffle on our opinion about Wormtongue's possible diet. Also, Alan and Shawn concede to being monoglot clowns.

The Gaffer hopes that Sam's behaved hisself and given satisfaction; we hope we've done the same for you. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as the ruffians hack, burn, and ruin everything they touch in the fourth of five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Flashbacks tell us about Lotho's “business dealings”, as well as his mother's fierce umbrella-wielding skills (don't want to hold her down); the Gaffer misses his taters; and Merry has the high ground, Anakin. We wonder if Lotho should have invested in skin care instead, discuss the importance of battlefield intelligence, and lobby for a promotion for Merry. Also, we wonder what's so bad about biscuits.

The voice is right, and your face is no worse than it was, Sam. Also true for Alan and Shawn. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as our hobbit heroes are just what the Shire needs in the third of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Sam gets a bit tongue-tied; Farmer Exposition, uh Cotton, acts as bait; and the big ruffian makes a fatal mistake. We watch Sam adore Rosie (it's not the ribbons in her hair), conclude that the ruffians haven't read the Prologue, and learn how the Gaffer has been getting along. Also, we have no truck with Lotho.

It is rather a comic cavalcade that hosts this episode, but at least we're not under arrest. Yet. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as Frodo and friends drive the two-feather Shirriff to exhaustion in the second of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. The hobbits don't let nothin' get in the way as they deliver bad news to a ruffian, threaten to skewer him, and run him out of town. We discuss Frodo's apparent pacifism, admire Tolkien's love for trees, and meet the new boss: same as the old boss. Also, our resident cock-a-whoop swaggers it in a Philology Faire you never knew you needed.

It's time for yet another party of special magnificence as The Prancing Pony Podcast releases its third highlight episode: it's almost time for our vinyl box set and reunion tour. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they play listener-selected moments from the last eleventy-one episodes! From our visit to the butt store to the Witch-king's visit to Minas Tirith, we review the funniest clips and the most dramatic readings. Despite the episode title, we still know nothing about cricket. Also, Darth Gollum finds your lack of fish disturbing.

No admittance between sundown and sunrise; except for Shawn, he can come and go as he pleases. Join The Man of the West as he welcomes back The Lord of the Mark as Frodo and friends return to a much-changed Shire in the first of five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Merry calls out a fellow Bucklander, Sam recognizes an old friend, and the hobbits are taken downtown for mug shots. We watch as Bill Ferny leaves the scene without a trace, complain about high taxes, and redraw Tolkien's map of the Shire. Also, Shawn apparently has a cop story to tell us.

Tom talks in trochaic tetrameter today, triggering a trend. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South in his last episode (this season) as we answer listener questions in our 27th Questions After Nightfall! From popular misconceptions about Tolkien to keeping Gandalf on-task, from the nature of hope to the nature of Gothmog, our listeners pose questions — often in limerick form! Alan looks for any excuse to read Quenya, and we decide Norman Fell would have made a good Gildor.

Dark shapes and dreadful things are terrifying Barliman; James and Alan will try not to make it any worse. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as the hobbits conclude their visit to Bree in the final episode on Homeward Bound. Barliman is deeply confused about this whole king thing, the hobbits wonder exactly what Barliman means by “funny goings on”, and Gandalf makes it clear the Shire isn't his circus and the hobbits aren't his monkeys. We discuss land-use plans near Bree, and wonder if we should invest in real estate nearby. Also, The Lord of the Mark joins for a Philology Faire — Italy called and wants to talk to him.

Not all wounds can be healed, and not all episode descriptions can be clever. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we accompany Gandalf and the hobbits on their journey home from Rivendell in the first of our two episodes on Homeward Bound. Frodo provides an accounting of his wounds, Nob's grammar skills nearly cause a tragedy, and Barliman puts on a brave (albeit talkative) face. We wonder if Erestor gets migraines, discover James is descended from Bill Ferny, and decide to write Barliman and Ioreth fanfic. Also, never ask a valet to park your Bugatti.

Wormtongue wishes he could leave Saruman; James is stuck with Alan for a few more episodes: make of that what you will. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we get to Rivendell in time for a party in the last of our three episodes on Many Partings. Saruman offers some parting words to the hobbits; the Keepers of the Rings offer total silence; Bilbo offers gifts he's already given. We note that Gríma and Zathras have something in common, discuss the items for sale on Middle-earth eBay, and agree wholeheartedly with Bilbo about packing. Also, James does a pretty good Aussie accent.

Legolas is at a loss for words after visiting Aglarond with Gimli; Alan is at a loss for words after… well, never, really. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as The Fellowship of the Ring head out on their farewell tour in our second of three episodes on Many Partings. Treebeard speaks his mind about orcs, gives excuses about Saruman, and offers Merry & Pippin just one more drink. Our simple minds speculate about poetry, revisit Gimli's rizz, and wonder if Thranduil and Treebeard went to the same school for jailers. Also, one man's treasure is our confusion.

Gimli offers to speedily fetch his axe, while James offers to speedily fetch his microphone. Join The Man of the West in welcoming back The Sage of the South as Théoden is laid to rest in our first of three episodes on Many Partings. Arwen offers Frodo a lovely parting gift, Aragorn gifts the Grey Wood to the Drúadan, and two kings struggle with gift ideas. We talk about Éomer & Gimli's deathmatch, wonder how you can give away what you've already lost, and discover two long lost names for Frodo & Sam. Also, we all need to use plenipotentiary a lot more. 

The reign of Aragorn Elessar begins, as the reign of Sara ends - quite possibly with her sailing off on a ship filled with cats. Join The Man of the West and the Shield-maiden of Rohan as Gandalf and the new king go mountain-climbing in our last episode on The Steward and the King. Frodo tries to be patient, Aragorn looks for a sign, and Arwen arrives with an entourage. We reconcile questionable timelines, and do the math to figure out how tall Mindolluin might be. Shawn joins Alan for a Philology Faire on ye utúvienyes — which apparently means, “Did you know I broke my toe when I kicked that helmet?” Also, Sara considers making apple crumble… from the fruit of the White Tree.

It's the moment we've all been waiting for: The Return of… Ioreth. Join The Man of the West and The Shield-maiden of Rohan as Faramir tenders his resignation in our third episode on The Steward and the King. Ioreth educates her kinswoman, Faramir uses his Ask the Audience lifeline, and Aragorn gives Beregond a fright. We wonder why Dol Amroth harpers are the most skillful, agree that ‘never accept single combat with the Witch-king' is good advice, and relish some more beautiful Quenya. Also, we observe the difference between the Rod of the Stewards and Rod Stewart.

Put your own priorities aside and get ready to do the hard thing as you join us for the PPP's ninth annual celebration of Tolkien Reading Day, observed every March 25 in honor of the destruction of the Ring and the fall of Barad-dûr. This year's theme, as chosen by the Tolkien Society, is Service and Sacrifice — and wow, there are lots of great passages to choose from! The Man of the West and The Shield-maiden of Rohan join forces to highlight this powerful theme seen throughout Tolkien's writing: from Éowyn and her frustration with ‘duty', to the obvious Húrin moment; from Galadriel's diminished joy, to a wet bicycle ride. Plus, Amandil's private island is now head canon.

The Man of the West welcomes people who fanboy… about Sara, the Shield-maiden of Rohan, as we answer listener questions in our 26th Questions After Nightfall! From Dr. Brown's TED talk to Alan's improving sarcasm, from creation mythologies to the frat bros of the Valar, our listeners remind us we can always go lower. Alan guesses wrong, we apply the Prime Directive to the Valar, and decide that we don't talk about Túrin, no no no.