Best Friend Simulator

Topics include: welcome to the last episode!, our new show is called Dial E for Eerie so stay tuned!,updates on some old segments, paranormal/weird topics we never got around to covering, and some thanks to some very special folks.Thanks to returning guests Gary Libsyn, Special Occasion Dracula, Joe Mantegna!********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Does Josh smell old?, Denis watched 146 eps of New Girl AMA, Josh's dishrag gets a little juicy, Denis looked toward a man's penis, animal presidents, Denis is mean about people liking things, and part 3 of The Montauk Project! !********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Denis was fart-fired, an announcement about the future of BFS, can your two favorite podcast hosts learn how to read again?, Pickle Friends!/Devil Ham, and Josh's Paranormal Portal: The Montauk Project Part 2!**************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: How 'bout that fuckin' black hole?, Josh has been thinking about that one commercial, Denis is mad about drug commercials and Josh fails to recreate one, Denis needs some cat advice, yellowjackets apparently aren't bees, "meat bees", BFS News Minute featuring a story about actual hell monsters (cassowaries), Josh takes an upsetting phone call, and a return to Josh's Paranormal Portal featuring The Philadelphia Experiment and part 1 of The Montauk Project!********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh and Denis give well-deserved thanks and apologies, important pillow updates, Old men yell at clouds, Georgia(n)(restaurant) on my mind, and then things go off the rails********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Denis is the late night boy, Josh has a cool/pervert feeling, Josh leaves an offering, Woodpecker talk, Sweat management, and talkin’ bout current events turns into straight nonsense. ********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh reports on a new series of targeted ads, Josh's sensitive guts, Dr. Beans/Baretta, discussion of the word "Nimrod", Fezzik's first vet visit, Denis's tremors, fairie offering update, Denis thinks he's going deaf, and Denis cites Ludacris as a big influence********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Dumb brain jukebox, Josh has snow madness, TOADS, We’re writing a book, and another installment of Streets of PhiladelphiaCane Toads: An Unnatural History********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!

Topics include: Denis sees a hypnotherapist [skit], Denis had night coffee and Josh had chocolate, Josh discusses going to Podcon 2, Cumtown report, Denis wonders about a possible hidden meaning behind an old mixtape by means of a Sugarcubes song, Josh discusses the how and why of his suspected house curse and then proposes his solution, and the return of Josh & Denis At Some Movies featuring the documentary Above Majestic: The Implications of A Secret Space Program

Topics include: We need a tagline, Denis is definitely passive aggressive, Josh argues for a hornier show, Denis writes bad notes, Josh will be at PodCon (as a paid attendee)********************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!********************************************

Topics include: Josh is in a good mood for once, did you know we like Thin Lizzy?, kayfabe holiday discussion, Denis's MRI results are in, very exciting IKEA story, cat talk, the return of The Streets of Philadelphia, discussing an article on the controversial stance of killing bigfoot, an unpaid plug for Destination America, a bigfoot-related shooting, and then Denis and Josh discuss their own personal top fives of 2018! Happy New Year, BFS Maniacs!

Topics include: We don't need any fucking notes, Josh's brain update, could Denis be the diner conversation guy?, do people do cosplay of old Hanna Barbera characters?, the three-note only Jingle Bells lady, Oh Shit the Bells!, our favorite christmas songs, Denis's MRI experience, The Predator: Assisted-Assisted Suicide, our post-human diner future

No episode this week but we'll be back next week! Josh explains why we're doing this.

Topics include Josh is sad about aliens for a different reason, välkommen till showen Swedish listeners!, the 'googling' names? STOP! ad, the creeping horror of the Green Man, Thanksgiving plans, Denis is proud of showing (nice) restraint, Bryan Adams is a real nasty fucker, the tragedy of human existence and the final part of our Simulation Hypothesis discussion, featuring glitches in the Matrix, David Icke's "Cosmic Internet", and Roko's Basilisk![WARNING: Listen at your own risk, Best Friend Simulator is not responsible for any endless simulated torture you may experience as a result, all hail the Basilisk)

Topics include: Josh has the post-Halloween blues again, aggressive book club, whole lotta Swamp Thing, makin’ faces, updates, Denis’ BFS News Minute, and part 2 of our Simulation Hypothesis conversation. ************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!************************************************

Episode 48: "Just Hookah-Dookah-ing/Simulation Hypothesis". Topics include: Josh has a made up illness, CATS, house update, smokin’ n tokin’, terrible Halloween attraction and some real-life scares, Skinwalker Ranch update, and a new segment on our contest-winning topic Simulation Hypothesis. ************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (@bestfriendsim), Instagram (@bestfriendsimulator), and Facebook. Thanks!!!************************************************

Episode 47: "Gift Them A Big Ol Hog Leg"Topics include: Is VHS dead?, Car alarms, You CAN’T Call Me Al, Denis goes to the brain dr, Josh hits it off with teens, Secret podcasting, Sally Jesse Raphael/Raphael from TMNT, and exploding eyes/witches!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email at joshanddenis@gmail.com! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics Include: Our one-year anniversary!, Denis fells like a Radio Man, Startalk with Jason Fleeeeeeee, we get to the bottom of all this astrology business, The Best Friend Simulator Tarot Deck, house buying stress, we want to do another Halloween Spooktacular so tell us your spooky stories!, BFS HQ West is no longer IN SEATTLE?!?!, GETTING OLD: why does the internet think Josh is an old man?, Josh thinks perfect attendance awards are fucked up, Denis discusses adult education school class titles, and we review the new Jeremy Corbell documentary, Hunt For the Skinwalker!************************************************ Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email at joshanddenis@gmail.com! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include:New microphones!/eargasm, Josh apologizes for recording with the window open last episode, we’re pretty sure the Krull cyclops said “fig new-ton”, Denis thinks the story about his Lyft driver last episode made him sound like a dick, we demonstrate some ways to engage with service workers, Denis encountered bugs on his vacation, we compare the anxiety-induced tics we had as adolescents, Denis encountered a southern manchild in an Asheville ice cream parlor, Josh got obsessed with squirrel warbles and then discusses his former obsession with maggot brain and the way he overcame it with MS Paint, why Josh probably can’t go back to the bike shop in White Center ever again, new segment: The Streets of Philadelphia, and Josh’s Monkey Mysteries: The New Delhi Monkey Man!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email at Joshanddenis@gmail.com! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics Include: Josh bought a house, Denis doesn't listen, Breast Friend Simulator discussion, Josh's recent streak of nightmares, Denis has an improv group (Wet Crackers?), Denis also joined a gym and talks about his former/current? spin teacher, erroneous movie quote attributions, beer sampler takes liberties at Acme, shoplifter takes liberties with beer at Walgreens but shares with passing mother, Lyft driver brings the puns...hard, RIP sticker ideas, Denis can't draw, someone mistook Denis for a snake person, yo Paul F. Tompkins get at us!, and we read some listener submitted life tips!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Breast Friend Simulator Episode 281:Topics include: Jenn's awkward interactions at the tire place, we're recording together for once!, thanks to everyone who came out to the live shows, Jamie looked at a house haunted by pee and a special hairless angel, C.H.U.D.s (Cannibalistic Humanoid Upstairs Dweller), voting day in Seattle & Good Space Guy, murder toilets, Find a New Friend Challenge Updates!, Weird Shit Updates: Miss Helen the Shark from Sir Mixalot Aquarium, Dimension Jumping, sarcophagus juice, and Part 3 of Tesla Town: Tesla Town After DarkSpecial thanks to our sponsors, Blue Apron, Nature Box, and Casper!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: WE'RE BACK BABY!, Denis confronts Josh about getting too comfortable in his absence, Josh got into naps during the break, a great new tattoo idea, more getting nude in the bathroom discussion, Josh discovered the link between food and having energy during the break, Denis doesn't get pajamas, Denis turned into Bernie Mac for a second but you missed it, Denis has a temperature curse, Josh got sad thinking about the possible nonexistence of aliens, Denis did the dumbest thing he's ever done over break, ideal vacation spots, floatation tank plans, we announce the winner of the topics contest, and an announcement concerning a pending format change. Also send us your life tips!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

We're still not over the whole Satanic Panic thing even after covering it for multiple episodes. For the second volume of the BFS Mixtape series, Josh invited our friend Allen to join him in laying down his soul to the gods Rock 'n' Roll to play some choice jams from the Satanic Panic!Tracklist:Hells Bells - AC/DCInto the Coven - Mercyful FatePossessed - VenomThe Number of the Beast - Iron MaidenBetter By You, Better Than Me - Judas PriestBurn In Hell - Twisted SisterHaunting the Chapel - SlayerHoly Diver - DioShout At the Devil - Mötley CrüeBlack Sabbath - Black Sabbath

If you're old like us, you probably had a best friend make you a mixtape when you were younger. As your simulated best friends, we went ahead and made you a brand new one! Back on episode 28 we discussed songs that made us cry. Now we're sharing some of those with you, the BFS Maniacs!Tracklist:1. Adventures in Zoochosis - Propagandhi2. Without Love - Propagandhi3. A Picture Postcard - The Promise Ring4. Atlantic City - Bruce Springsteen5. Pints of Guiness Make You Strong - Against Me6. Philomena - Thin Lizzy7. Screwing Yer Courage - Team Dresch8. Sum and Substance - Assück9. Long Desert Train - Jason Molina10. Plea From a Cat Named Virtute - The Weakerthans

As our break continues we've selected some of our favorite nuggets from episodes 10-14! This is when we really seem to hit our stride, so there were a lot of funny bits to choose from in these episodes. Enjoy!***************************************************************************************Nuggets Include:Ep 10: "Wind Beneath Wing" by Bette Middlers, New York City or: An Evening Salsa in the WestEp 11: Switching over to a Magnus Archives Fancast, Bob Uecker death check, "Running Down A Dream" video analysis, Denis-Exclusive serial killerEp 12: Thankgiving Theodore, Listener mail about Josh's violent statments toward Denis, Jarry the Burnout Pants Designer decides to make proportionally huge clothingEp 13: Old guy renditions of popular songs, Murder Daddy, Mustache Daddy, that critically acclaimed episode of Frasier where that fuckin' dog bites off Nigel's buttholeEp 14: Denis gets thirsty/Josh's Butt Talk, Sussquatch, -Denis and Josh exchange tender goodbyes Missing 411-style***************************************************************************************Do you have a favorite nugget from a past episode you'd like to see included in a future compilation? Let us know at joshanddenis@gmail.com! Also please share the podcast with a friend!

We hand-picked some of our favorite bits from the early days (i.e. last year) and compiled them here for you, the BFS maniacs! The sound quality is a little uneven because we didn't know what we were doing back then. Also lots of background noise because we were dumb and didn't close our windows!***************************************************************************************Nuggets Include:Episode 0: our origin story, it's a shame what happened to John Debella, sexy secrets,Episode 01: our cool brainsEpisode 02: Denis didn't hate his voice and then recants, I HAVE CRY WHAT AM FRIEND, At War With AntsEpisode 03:"you made it nice for daddy"/"fuck you Brett Hull, you cherry picker", and other things we say to ourselves while aloneEpisode 05:Southwark Post Office conversation styleEpisode 07: Password problems/Barry the Password ManagerSpooktacular:"I thought for a second I was friends with Dracula"Episode 08:"That's it, I'm throwing you to the goblins" and other stranger secrets, Soft Brain and Nasty Boy Episode 09: Denis tries to help Josh with his post-Halloween blues, Christmas Ghouls***************************************************************************************Do you have a favorite nugget from a past episode you'd like to see included in a future compilation? Let us know at joshanddenis@gmail.com! Also please share the podcast with a friend!

Topics include: Denis has a headache, Josh disses friends and has another infestation, Life Tips, and another edition of Cryptid Country featuring the mysterious Fresno Nightcrawlers!************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Backface Boys, No new friends, Josh hates weddings (or not), Denis Graduates, Josh has excuses, New friends, and a BFS News Minute about Billy Corgan and the Mothman************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!************************************************

Topics include: Josh has hiccups, FACTS, Best Friend Simulator After Dark, Denis has a plosive problem, home remedies/half an onion ear, FRIEND UPDATES!, NEW SEGMENT: Let's Name Your Improv Group, pessimistic BFS giveaway talk, and discussion of the 1989 "Idenfication, Investigation and Understanding of Ritualistic Criminal Activity" handout from the Chicago Police Department.************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Denis’ future, makin’ friends, Josh likes a podcast/movie and gets into fights, BFS GIVEAWAY, and part 4 of our discussion on Satanic Panic************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh's chaos magic is spreading, Denis wonders how serious Josh is about chaos magic, Headaches & Hot Dogs, A King's Schedule, Mails Hole: putting a stake in "Thursdays Are For The Maniacs"/feedback from OB/Bike Ballz/a concerning letter from Pugnillicus from Alaska/Josh apologies about the Pugnillicus letter/a letter from David Draiman(d)?!, Itunes Reviews, Show walkers, and part 3 of our Satanic Panic grab bag featuring The McMartin and Oak Hill Satanic Ritual Abuse Trials************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!************************************************

Topics include: Josh has magic updates, Denis has bathroom updates, and part 2 of our discussion on Satanic Panic with a SPECIAL GUEST************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!************************************************

Topics include: Denis whines about ride sharing, Josh has thoughts about Satan/dads, Denis goes it alone, BFS Ad Practice, and part 1 of our discussion on Satanic Panic************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!************************************************

Topics include: We’re not prepared, Josh is getting bike friends, and part 3 of Josh’s Paranormal Portal about the Brooklyn Bridge UFO Abduction************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: We don’t want to work, Maybe we’ll try real estate, The fans have spoken and want more nu-metal, We need a catchphrase, Denis experiences his own Mandela Effect, and part 2 of Josh’s Paranormal Portal about the Brooklyn Bridge UFO Abduction************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh is experiencing a Reverse Mandela Effect, Denis has blood pressure to spare, Thursdays are for the bfs, Bachelor Party Madness, Josh did a good job and hates toddlers, and a new Paranormal Portal about the Brooklyn Bridge UFO Abduction************************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh is down with the sickness, Denis works with manimals (part 2), Denis has a boring story, Josh has a better one, back faces, Denis is self-conscious, and another segment of At The Movies about the documentary “Unacknowledged”******************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

Topics include: Josh and Denis have notes for each other and pull back the curtain, Denis has new friends, and a new segment of Cryptid Country about The Sierra Sounds, alleged recordings of Bigfoot(s) PLUS A BFS EXCLUSIVE RECORDING!******************************************Do you like this podcast? Then tell a friend! Or shoot us an email! Or rate and review us where you listen to podcasts! Thanks!!!

`Topics include: April F-f-f-foolin’, Denis has complaints, We’re getting old yet we’ve come so far, Denis questions people and their decisions, and part 3 of Skinwalker Ranch

Topics include: Denis has a tummy ache, (Fantasy) Fantasy Baseball, Josh misses a golden opportunity with street meat, BFS News Minute: new “UFO” footage, and part 2 of Skinwalker RanchOur apologies for: Josh making fantasy baseball sound boring

Topics include: Josh maybe had a package stolen/judged, let us solve your mysteries, Denis made an oopsie, Josh made a boatload of money on a belt buckle, we maybe went too hard on Ricky, Josh shares his high school notebook/poetry, Josh has a good cry and tries to spin it with an improv scene, and a new installment of Josh's Paranormal Portal about Skinwalker Ranch!Our apologies for: car noises

Topics include: WE HATE BAD REVIEWS, listener feedback, bad fashion, Denis can’t come up with Neil Hamburger’s name, Josh has eBay issues, Denis is shopping for houses, BFS News Minute: Footprints on Mars, more sabotage!, Denis has soft hair, and RIP Meshach TaylorOur apologies for: so much anger towards a listener

Topics include: our feelings about Aerosmith, weird Olympics voices, BFS Social Media Fun Fact, trying to get celebrity guests, Josh has been watching Doomsday Preppers and Cat TV, Denis had his improv show and the BFs do some improv scenes!Our apologies for: nothing. We really knocked it out of the park on this one

Topics include: Monkey talk, Josh’s birthday celebration, Denis’ improv class & lost time, winter comes to Seattle, Incredible Hulk TV show chat and what makes us Hulk-out, and an installment of Josh’s Curious Crypts/Mysterious Mausoleums about “The Alien Grave of Aurora, Texas”Our apologies for: Josh’s inability to make up fake names

Topics include: Josh’s birthday, more public restroom complaints, Josh is concerned about oversharing, weird smells, a new segment: “What Brings You Joy?”, and the BFS News Minute on former Canadian Minister of National Defense and the IlluminatiOur apologies for: going off the rails.

The Going Rate For PotassiumTopics include: Josh & Denis celebrate sports!, Denis at the deli, why can’t people follow the rules, Decision 2018, Josh finds out how much he’s worth dead, BFS Investigative Journalism, Josh takes us to Cryptid Country to discuss the Dover DemonOur apologies for: Denis being so angry

Topics include: Josh gets a podcasting injury, lookin’ at the numbers, R.I.P. Jack Ketchum and more celebrity death talk, Denis sees weird people, Talkin’ about grossness and a sexy secret, Denis has a Super Bowl dilemma, Josh loves donkeys and bears, and Josh gives Denis permission to wear his skinOur apologies for: mouth noises

Topics include: What won’t Meatloaf do?, our special guest Jamie gives us a list of things she has had to say to Josh, talkin’ bout neighbors, Philly’s greased poles, and Jamie’s favorite conspiracy/unexplained/internet thing Morgellons DiseaseOur apologies for: on-air kissing

Topics include: Denis once got holes in his feet, the world has gone off the rails, Josh’s boy Jeff Bezos, Denis has stupid thoughts and took a trip to a weird pharmacy, Josh’s Sexy Secret, R.I.P. Fast Eddie Clark and an argument about celebrity deaths, and part 2 of our conversation about gang stalkingOur apologies for: “sex fingers”, all the Viagra talk, and for Denis being kinda jerky and insensitive

Topics include: Meet our new cohost, hear about our trip together and some fails, we love ferries, Josh’s dog Spuds, what will we do in the post-apocalypse (and prison), update on Josh’s war on ants, and a new edition of Conspiracy Corner, where we discuss gang stalking and targeted individuals. Our apologies for: Josh’s audio. (Hey we’re amateurs!!)Characters: so many Bigfoots

Topics include: Our first live episode!!, our plans for our time together, Josh knows millennials maybe too well, our in-depth review of “Love and Saucers”, including a look at the relationship between alien abductions and mental health, as well as Josh’s “awakening”, and a correction to an earlier storyCharacters: David Paulides (impression)Our apologies to: anyone opposed to all the “privates” talk