Fortune Kit

Eve Barlow memorializes Brian Wilson and Drake has the pass to accuse others of being goofs. Plus: Who wore it better? Will Smith or JoCat? Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Lil Wayne and Weezer linked up again to predictable results. Also, Bob Dylan should use a dick pic as his next album cover. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

We're the only people on earth covering the indie post-grunge band Puddle of Mudd. Plus, should we taxidermy Diddy? And how come we aren't making new mummies anymore? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/257-kiss-machine-130869365

Blowback's Noah Kulwin (@nkulw) and Brendan James (@deep_beige) join Charles and Alex to make a more realistic version of Sympathy for the Devil. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Tommy Lee's wife gets catfished by a fake Ronnie Radke, Meghan Trainor embraces a new kind of body positivity, and Gene Simmons pretends to drink cum for disinterested casino crowds. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The New York Times went backstage with Gene Simmons, and Remove Paywall Dot Com gave us the full scoop. Plus, Meghan Trainor has been featured on the Wikipedia front page a suspicious number of times and one Wikipedian has had enough. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Puddle of Mudd debuts a new song during a Jiffy Lube oil change. The buried lede is that Wes Scantlin is responsible enough to get his oil changed. Plus, we should get rid of the Hollywood Walk of Fame and replace it with an ossuary full of all our best celebs' skeletons. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex debut "David Sirota" and run down the 10 most popular YouTube music videos of all time. Plus, who else remembers when we used to have breadcrumbs trails all over the ground? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/252-money-should-127997622 "David Sirota" on YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Givy8DX0wJ0 On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2oo5yoH3F4Nz0ni2mgrQIe?si=421847197a324cb9

Deadmau5 compromised the moral and spiritual integrity of Coachella by spraying silly string on people. The Romans would have killed so many Christians in the Sphere. And there's too many popes in Heaven. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Katy Perry is excited to learn more about STEM. Rivers Cuomo has a fucking Shakespeare sticker on his guitar and also the cops shot his bassist's wife. Shakespeare would have loved Spotify because there's so many "plays" on there. Does Robert Pollard ever do "cool teacher" stuff in his class, like bring in his guitar to sing songs about PEMDAS? Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Pete Best has retired. His old band the Quarrymen were on some Flintstones shit. The Beatles should have linked up with the Chipmunks in their prime, they were the two most famous varispeed bands basically doing the same shit. The Sgt. Pepper album cover was basically Fortnite just cramming a bunch of IP together. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc3i9CKJzmI

Why do dumb tech guys keep buying Napster? Was Obama even the best presidential candidate in the Choom Gang? Has rap lost the white pillhead? Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/248-who-is-snake-125929909 Charles's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc3i9CKJzmI

Dan catches up with Charles about his latest adventures and JoJo Siwa tries to be Gene Simmons. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The next Gene Simmons is probably a Kick streamer, Weezer should consider getting BBLs, and sadly in today's world the Winkster would be more popular than Barney. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Musicians are going crazy in space, and Imagine Dragons are getting a piece of the action. Maybe Elvis should have Spaceland on the moon. And maybe Offset needs a group with his nephew since he was the third wheel in Migos' nephew-uncle dynamic. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Was Mildred J. Hill's "Happy Birthday" what "Creep" is to Radiohead? Plus, the IRS is auctioning Tekashi 6ix9ine's Star of David pendant and Katy Perry is going to space. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/244-big-as-fuck-123859487

Imagine your german shepherd brings a dead Smurf to your doorstep. Plus, Will Smith is taking over the rap game with the Sunday Service Choir. Featuring Spencer (@TGOFV_Pod) and Cole (@aryanblackgirl). Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

This week: Boneless Thugs body horror, Mr. Bean Saudi Arabia luxury real estate, Bikini Bottom is a U.S. protectorate, and the government is removing our wisdom teeth to make us stupid. Fortune Kit on Partreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Veteran players should do senior pranks at the Super Bowl, and since Vince Neil has a jet he should get to do the Super Bowl flyover, since they're not letting geriatric rockers perform at halftime anymore. Plus, police in India try to stop Ed Sheeran from rocking. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Ringo Starr has never tried pizza, the Grammys completely snub Great White and Whitesnake, and Charles and Alex learn that Alvin and the Chipmunks were nominated for Record of the Year at the very first Grammys. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/121734020

Charles, Alex, and Dan talk about being in the navy—the British one and the Village People one. Plus, the downfall of the world's first—and now last—major-label NFT band. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex talk about Foo Fighters pinball, the Trump memecoin, and Lil Wayne's Joan Jett Signature Series Melody Maker. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex wonder if John D. Rockefeller would have turned into a whiny Elon-style baby if he had to listen to the Red Dead guys shit talk him all day online. Plus, Pitbull gets into the botanical disinfectant game and Gerard Way voices a D&D pinball machine. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex discuss IDF catgirls, Kelly Clarkson's DoD funding, and how the happy birthday song should be on the Billboard charts all year. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/119232351

Palma (@sweetxpalma) takes Charles and Alex through the early dad-rock years of Fleetwood Mac before their fateful pivot to mom rock. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Tracklist: If You Be My Baby Ooh Baby Albatross Station Man (Live San Bernardino 1971) Future Games Dissatisfied Did You Ever Love Me Second Chapter (Danny Kirwan) Station Man (Live 1975) Hypnotized (Live 1975)

A New Jersey Democrat fakes his Springsteen bona fides, Elton John comes out against the scourge of marijuana, and we discover a Snoopy-themed '60s band that dropped an anti-Osama song in 2006. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Fights break out at Mariah Carey Christmas concerts, Ronnie Radke BANNED from the U.K., and the You Know I Had to Do It to 'Em Kid, finally, had to do it to 'em. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

The Village People singer denies "YMCA" is a gay anthem, the U.K. sends dumb Christmas novelty songs to the top of the charts, and Aerosmith's drummer can't find a good cup of coffee. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/117452381

Charles and Alex appraise Trump guitars and make an official endorsement in the special election in New York's 21st Congressional District. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Did George and Amal Clooney hijack Sammy Hagar and Guy Fieri's liquor trucks? Should we use Jerry Garcia's A.I. voice to insert new stage banter into old performances? Did Stevie Wonder have Kobe killed? Charles and Alex investigate. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex discuss pop punk typos, Alice Cooper's bombshell admission that he liked school, and Mariah Carey's lawyer's induction into the Rock Hall of Fame. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

On this episode of Chapo Trap House, Charles and Alex consider a world that consists of nothing but scams. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/115163666

Charles and Dan talk crypto PACs, Robert Smith, and bootleg merch. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex speculate that Heaven is a worse version of The Villages. Geriatric former slaveowners drinking 10 a.m. mai tais and crashing their golf carts. Plus, Green Day and Barney the Dinosaur make their 30-year nostalgia plays. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex check in on T.I.'s toy lawsuit, Coldplay on QVC, and a Zionist fact check of the new Godspeed album. Plus, bats are biting everybody at concerts nowadays. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex find out about the world's first Israeli-Palestinian boy band and Elon stealing Grimes' baby name idea to use with his mistress instead. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/224-problematic-113369032

Spencer (@TGOFV_Pod) and Cole (@RaceplayShawty) join Charles and Alex to discuss Billboard oddities and songs from Spencer's "the Gauntlet" playlist. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Josiah Hughes (@josiahhughes) joins Charles and Alex to question why the three bears' porridges were different temperatures and write a pop-punk song about the challenges of being a teen. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex check in on Linkin Park's scientologist singer, Weezer's community-theater-style production of the Blue Album, and T.I.'s lawsuit against the same toy company that made Poopsie Surprise dolls. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/111797823

Charles and Alex find out Coldplay has the highest-grossing rock tour ever, examine the DNC roll call songs, and listen to Falling in Reverse's cover of Papa Roach. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles, Alex, and Ohio's Very Own Dan Boeckner discuss the Tim Horton's musical and voice support for artist-run entities like Madison Square Garden and the U.S. State Department. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Listen to Charles' EP: https://open.spotify.com/album/1wsxKiIHqOzHBx8QOYMKMs?si=8Ja1fywQSa6eUaHj54Ty_Q https://solipse.bandcamp.com/album/more

Charles and Alex check in on Akon City, read a crypto guy's Eminem review, and argue that Bruce Springsteen should have to open for Steven Van Zandt reciting classic Sopranos lines. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/109790344

Hot Dad (@hotterdad) joins Charles and Alex to share his favorite '00s Japanese rock bands. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Listen to Banana Road: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/hotdad/banana-road Playlist: Quruli - Hana no Mizudeppou Quruli - World's End Supernova (Live) Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Siren Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Kimi no Machi Made Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Natsu no Hi, Zanzou Cornelius - Smoke Cornelius - Breezin' Supercar - White Surf Style 5 (Live) Supercar - Wonder Word

Raina (@RahRahRaina) joins Charles and Alex to discuss her time in Japan interviewing bands, shopping at Seven & I Holdings, and feeding cats outside of their designated feeding area. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Playlist: Sakanaction - Wasurerarenaino Cornelius - Chapter 8 Seashore and Horizon Boris - Heavy Rain Buffalo Daughter - Cyclic Hitsuji Bungaku - Addiction Atarashii Gakko! - Tokyo Calling Mass of the Fermenting Dregs - Sugar

Will Menaker and Katherine Krueger join Charles and Alex to cover this summer's hottest music festival—the RNC—and weigh the musical merits of the car crash king Billy Joel. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Stream Charles' new song: https://open.spotify.com/track/4r6cxwLnd1eokkF8qUAvND?si=461221842bff414e

Charles and Alex discuss Joe Biden's audio engineering woes, Gerber's 1970s campaign to market baby food to adults, and Kid Rock's endorsement of an anti-American dessert: apple pie. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/107890816

Charles and Alex listen to Meghan Trainor's new pet food jingle. DUI king Billy Joel weighs in on Justin Timberlake. Alex calls him RuPaul Stanley because KISS are drag queens. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Evan Laffer (@evanlaffer) and Ian Grant (@ian__grant) of Jokermen (@JokermenPodcast) join Charles and Alex to discuss the career of Barney the Dinosaur, with an eye toward his criticually and commercially overlooked later works. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles and Alex wonder what baby Jesus did with his gold and discuss a story about artists like Ne-Yo and the Game scamming people through their official Instagram accounts. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

Charles, Alex, and Dan discuss the recent spate of arena tour cancellations and check in on the world's youngest FORMER Garfield licensee. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/105775522 See Dan on tour: www.subpop.com/artists/boeckner/tours

Charles and Alex read Rolling Stone's Kid Rock profile and realize that he needs to tour with Bruce Springsteen to heal America. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit