HammeredRecovery Podcast

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Listen Notes The Fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink.  Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.  We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.  We are without defense against the first drink.Pg. 24 of The Big Book This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected!Pg. 24 of The Big Book Why are choices so important Alcohol, this disease, it took our choices away.  You can choose to take them back. You choose to stop digging.You choose to check into rehab.You choose to go to meetings.You choose to get a sponsor.You choose to work the steps.You chose to continue to work the steps.No one else can make this choice for you.  You have to.  That's why it's so hard, and at the same time that is why it works. The tale of two meetings The first was my Friday Night Men's Beltline, St. Louis Park, MN.The 2nd was Hosanna! Shakopee, MN.  If you looking for a church I cannot recommend Hosanna! enough, I go to the one in Shakopee, but they are all great and there are 1000 other great churches out there as well. WHy attending meetings is so powerful I also tell you this: if two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.  For where two or more gather together as my followers, I am there among them.Matthew 18: 19-20 We can look to the pandemic to show how important social interaction is.  For people with mental illness and personally I'll say for alcoholics the pandemic was a huge tipping point. What did I learn at these two meetings? Friday Beltline: Opening reading - 6th step – were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six.  We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.  Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?  Can He now take them all – every one?  If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.Pg. 76 of The Big Book discussion topics The importance of doing the steps in order.Two participants talked about not wanting to go but being so glad they did.It's easy to pass over the steps that don't have an action.That's not how it works.You have to choose that YOU don't want to drink anymore.You have to truly believe that a Power great than you can restore us to sanity.You have to make a choice to turn your will and lives over to the care of God.For 6 you have to be entirely ready to ask God to remove your defects of character.The reoccurring theme to me was willingness.  This is where a lot of people made the choice that they were willing to do this.  Which of course is the spiritual principle of step 6.Crazy that willingness comes halfway through the steps.Fake it until you make it stops at step 6. Hosanna! 3 Ways to get Stuck: Comfort ZoneThe end of your comfort zone is the beginning of living.The tendency to go back to our comfort zone.Emotional HealthFear, anxiety, pride…TraumaGreifConsumeristic ChristianityWhen you consume something it's gone!World of Look at Me!We are not meant to be consumers; we are meant to be contributors… 12th step.It's not about you… it's about others. Getting unstuck Move into deeper waters – the 12 steps are all about moving into deeper waters.Take Jesus in the boat with you (higher Power)Stay humble (defects of character)Help others (step 12) If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do?  Won't he leave the 99 others on the hills and go out to search for the 1 that is lost?  And if he finds it, I tell you the truth,

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes What is Rock Bottom and why do we feel we have to hit it?You don't have to hit rock bottom. You just have to stop digging!Pink CloudWhat is the pink cloud?Pay offThings happen for a reason. If you stick with this program everything is going to be okay!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com SHow Notes At the start of the show I discuss ways listeners can help support the podcastvisit HammeredRecovery.com - Click the Donate tab - Use the Donate button at the bottom of the pageRate the podcast 5 stars and leave a reviewBuy apparel from the Merch shop on the websiteI then continued on with the How It Works series and really concentrated on Step 3Step 3 is more than turning our will and lives over to GodIt's about Self-Centeredness and SelfishnessOur lives had become unmanageable and our best thinking got us here, so why would we think we alone can get us out.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes In today's podcast I continue walking through How It Works from the Big BookI discuss how my life is going a year after checking into HazeldenHow quickly time goes by once you have made the decision to stop drinkingThe importance of being picky and putting in the work before you:Pick a sponsorPick a meeting(s)Pick a treatment centerPick and IOP groupPick a churchYour life is about to get a whole lot better. Enjoy it!!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com SHow Notes Super bowl I start off the show talking about the upcoming Super bowl and the fact that I was in Hazelden for the Super bowl a year agoI've always made a big deal out of big sports events for my family, so this was a big change for me, but I knew it was what I had to do and it was worth it.; I discussed a line from the walking dead that I thought was relevant to sobriety: Rick, your world is about to get a whole lot bigger! HOw it works This is part one of a series of podcasts I am going to do on chapter 5, How it Works from the Big BookI discussed varies lines form pages 58-59Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our pathPeople who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program... are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselvesThey are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honestyWhat we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like knowAt some of these we baulked. We thought we could find an easier, softer wayWe beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very startWe let go absolutelyWe deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerfulThere is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him nowHalf measures availed us nothing If you follow this simple program... Rick, your world is about to get a whole lot bigger!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes: Dealing with unforeseen circumstances I start off this weeks podcast talking about getting COVID and how dealing with being sick can be different for alcoholicsHow will you deal with isolation?Going back to the basicsOne day at a time The Walking Dead Like many, one of the things I did to help pass the time was binge watch TV. My show of choice happened to be Th Walking Dead and I found many parallels to alcoholism:Wandering around with no purposeNot using our thinking brain, just acting on instinctI found three reoccurring themes around how people were able to persevere:Always have a positive attitudeFind a teamRely on your Higher Power No matter how bleak things may seem at the time, with these three things we can always find the power to move forward!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com SHow Notes The Genisis Today I start out the podcast recounting that it was one year ago today I checked my self into HazeldenI recount the days leading up to checking in and the process of checking into HazeldenI discuss that Hazelden was my Genesis and where my story beginsI briefly recapped everything I have learned in the first year and the podcasts I have done A message from my higher power I discussed the message from my church last Sunday and how the message was from GenesisI went over the message and now it so perfectly fits with sobrietyStop the HidingStop the BlamingStop the Controlling Once you do this you can start living your best life. Healthy. Happy. Sober.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes In todays episode I read from Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol*. I wanted to do an episode that resonates with the Christmas Spirit, and this story fit the bill. If you have heard this story a hundred times, or if this is the first, listening to it from a place of recovery gave it new meaning to me and I hope it does the same for you. Merry Christmas!! *this condensed version of the story was read from Sparknotes.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes Nervous about the Holidays We start off todays podcast discussing an e-mail I received with 7 tips titled Nervous About the Holiday's? Hatch a holiday escape planRewrite the holiday story in your headStay helpfulBe mindful of what you are drinkingSome triggers and traps are optionalPractice self careConsider rehab over the holidays Dealing with Shame I next discussed how important it is for long term sobriety to deal with shame Guilt = I did something badShame = I am a bad personThe 3 C's of Al AnonI didn't Cause itI can't Control itI'm not going to Cure itSteps I found helpful for admitting I was an alcoholic getting rid of the shameSay it to yourselfSay it out loudSay it to a loved oneSay it at an AA meetingSay it to someone you don't knowSay it to someone you do know, but you haven't told yetI discussed two recent instances were I didn't let shame get in the way Good Morning, Monster by Catherine Gildner This book had an amazing story of a girl named Laura who had a horrifying childhood, but got over her shame and took back her life. As an alcoholic, that is what we need to strive to do everyday and I hope others can relate to her story and strive to not let this disease define them too.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com SHow Notes In this weeks podcast I start off by recapping my family vacation to AMI and comparing it to a similar trip last year before I quit drinking. Spoiler, this year was much better!We need to git rid of the thought process that when we quite drinking we lost something. It actually is the exact opposite, we gained EVERYTHING! Navigating the Holidays I spent time discussing some of the things you can do to ensure you have a great safe Holiday season: Drive your own car so you can leave on your own terms.check in with your sponsor before and after the party.Bring some to drink in case an alcohol free option is not provided.In cases such as a family holiday event don't be afraid to call ahead and discuss something that may be on your mind. In my case the fear the whole party would be dry on my behalf.As with most things, practice makes perfect. The more events you attend the more comfortable you will feel.Do not lock yourself in the basement and avoid the fun!! Step 12 The Holiday's are a great time to practice step 12. Use this opportunity to help others.A huge Thank You to all of my listeners. I find these podcasts so rewarding and with out you non of this would even be possible!!!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com SHow Notes I recommend reading the Big Book and 12 & 12, but also do some research online.Article by Jason Wahler – Breaking down the steps.Step 8 & 9 Podcast – The Recovery Show – Mary Pearl T. We take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault.We make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done.We consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know. This is about cleaning your side of the street. Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all You should be on this list.Is mostly about identifying the damage you have done to others and listing those names.Even if you currently are not willing put them on your list.This is not a list you keep in your head.  You put every name down on paper, even if you are not sure you owe them amends.Reason 8 is before 9.  Don't worry about 9.Be incredibly honest.Break this list down into:NowLaterNever Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Difference between amends and apologies – An Amends has to do with resorting justice as much as possible.  If you borrow $20 form someone you don't apologize and not give them the money back.  You give them to $20 back. Honestly Admit and Humbly ask for forgiveness.Do not procrastinate, but also do not rush this step.As with anything you get batter as you do them.  Start with the easy ones. Direct Amends – taking personal responsibility for your actions and confronting the person who you would like to reconcile with.Indirect Amends – Finding ways to repair damage that cannot be reversed or undone by doing things like volunteering and helping others.Living Amends – When you show others as well as yourself that you have made a genuine lifestyle change and are making a commitment to yourself and those that you have hurt that you will & have discarded your previous destructive behaviors. Restoration – Brining something back to its former state, usually things that have been damaged. (Reputations – Trust)Resolution – Likely have past experiences that plague or disturb us – Coming up with answers and solutions to these problems and laying them to rest.Restitution – the Act of returning something material to its rightful owner. Why is this important? 9th Step Promises, Big Book Pgs. 83-84

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Listen Notes In this episode we welcome back Kelly Kristo as a co-host to have an open discussion about recovery. Kelly and I are in different stages of our recovery and it was fun to get a new perspective. We talked about a lot of different subjects, not all recover based, including: What's happening in the NFL with our favorite teamsMy first Halloween not pulling a coolerHow is this holiday season going to be different for me and different ways to copeHow meetings differ from place to placeWhat is FRED G?And plenty of other topics, including the Timberwolves. I hope you enjoy this new format and we look forward to doing this again soon. I'd love to hear from you on how you think the podcast is going and if there is anything you would like to see discussed in the future! You can always e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com or feel free to reach out to me on Twitter @hammeredrecover. Thank you so much for listening.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Listen Notes Today I started off the show recapping a long weekend with my kids and discussing how quickly they have reverted back to wanting to spend time with me again. I also discussed an upcoming episode on The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I am not quite ready to do a full podcast yet, but I discussed how I am already using the tool to combat my procrastination issue. Different Levels Different Devils The main topic of today's podcast is talking about how we all have different devils at the level we are at in sobriety. My Levels and devils have been: 3 years ago - adding more and more HH's to my week2 years ago - stopping on the way home to pick up a bottle1 year ago - hiding bottles in the garage9mos ago - not admitting I was an alcoholic and needed to go to treatment8mos ago - thinking I was cured getting out of treatment7mos ago - not wanting to go to meetings6mos ago - not wanting to get a sponsor5mos ago - not wanting to do the stepstoday - falling into the trap that "I got this" I also discussed relapses along the way and finding the courage to get back up and not let them define me. What level are you at and what devils are you dealing with?

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show notes In todays podcast I welcomed Quinn to tell his story. I meet Quinn when I was just starting out in recovery. In fact, at that time I hadn't even decided to quit drinking yet. He was in my first IOP group, which I eventually failed out of, so I didn't get to know him all that well early on. In fact, we've only met in person one time. That being said he has been a big part of my sobriety. Quinn was the first person I heard say "play the tape forward". He took the time to call my wife after yet another failed attempt of sobriety for me. Also, it was after one of many talks with Quinn that I decided to check myself into treatment. There were many many others who helped me along the way, but Quinn stood out to me. What I now know is that, in sobriety, there are thousands of Quinn's. This is a community of people helping others and if you are new to it, I hope you find your Quinn too!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Listen Notes The social media trap This weeks podcast starts out with a discussion to be more aware of what makes you happy and what makes you angry.I discuss how I have become more aware of how social media has been affecting my mode in a way I do not like and what my plans are to address it.Why have Twitter likes and podcast become important to me? As we have learned from The Four Agreements a goal needs to be to not takes things personally and if we are following this agreements "likes" and downloads should not be important to us.I have also found that the amount of negativity on Twitter, and in the news in general, has affected my happiness and I need to be more proactive in cutting this hate out of my life. THe Prodigal SOn Next I discussed the Prodigal Son. In the bible story there are three main characters.The prodigal son who has lost his way - This is meThe father who welcomed him home - This is my recovery communityThe older brother who became bitter with the return of the prodigal son - This is anyone in your life that is not happy for you and not there to support you, and you need to actively cut them out of your life so you can truly be happy. I hope you enjoy this weeks podcast and you too can actively work to become a person who is not just sober, but Healthy. Happy. Sober.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes Today I want to start out the show by speaking directly to those listeners who have found the podcast and are still drinking. The most important listener is the listener who hasn't decided to stop yet or just recently has. The people, that like me 10 mos. ago are in a very dark place and think there is absolutely no way out. 10mos ago I found the solution of how to get out of the dark place that if you don't will lead to death. I quit drinking and I can tell you exactly how to do the same. We tried an easier softer wayYou'll be amazed before you are halfway throughThe promises do come true IF YOU WORK FOR THEM. Depression is living in the past and Anxiety is living in the future.  Pause this podcast google 24 hours a Day book July 29th,30th, 31st. Next listen to: Ep2 – There are 2 days in each week about which we should not worry. (Long title) Ep 14 – my story Ep 8 – Kelly's story Ep 11 – We Tried an Easier Softer Way Ep 3 – Breaking the Cycle Ep 7 – The Promises. Next you are going to go to HammeredRecovery.com, use the help button under More info. Find a treatment centerFind a meeting and a temporary sponsor DopamineDopamine causes that little happy feeling when someone likes your post of Instagram, you check something off your to do list, or compete a small task.It is meant to motivate your body toward a distant goal, one step at a time.Without it early humans never would have had the motivation to hunt down large mammals and benefit from investing effort into long-term goals.Today it is what helps you get through your to do list or motivates you to start a new habit.The effects of dopamine are fleeting.  This isn't the type of long-lasting happiness you'll be able to savor.  It lasts just long enough for you to check something of your list and motivate you on to the next one.Always start your to do lists with easily attained goals.OxytocinOften referred to as the “hugging Drug” because it is released by the brain during physical contact with others.  Also the feeling behind, love, friendship, or deep trust.How to get them: Positive social interaction.  Working together with others, sharing a meal, giving a gift, opening up emotionally, providing full attention while listening to others, long hugs.Unlike Dopamine it is long lastingWorks two ways, you get it and give it at the same time.Fights stress, improves relationships, and promotes long-lasting positive emotions.SerotoninAnother social chemical like Oxytocin, but functions in an entirely different way.Pride, loyalty, and StatusWhen we feel a sense of accomplishment or recognition from others, we are experiencing the effects of serotonin.Serotonin is what motivates a leader to excel and grow their influence, to win awrds, to become popular, but compels followers to do well and not let down their leaders as well.It is why athletes often thank their parents, coaches, God after a win.Whoever they felt offered them support and protection they needed to accomplish what they accomplished.  When others offer us that protection and support, because of serotonin, we feel a sense of accountability to them.Believed to affect digestion, bone growth, and organ developmentEndorphinsThe feeling runners get on long runs “Runners high”, that feeling comes from endorphins.Endorphins are essentially released in response to pain.They help us push our bodies beyond their comfort levels and persist when we might otherwise give up.One you remove the pain part of the equation endorphins can feel like a “high”Talking a freezing cold shower in the morning, for example, can give you a huge boost of endorphins if you can stand a minute or two of physical discomfort.They are the reason why starting a gym routine can help you relax after a long day at work, or ramp up for the day in the morning.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes: Joseph Caravelle, MA, LADC – The Disease of Addication AA Program defines addiction as having three distinct components:The Allergy of the body.Understanding the parts of the brain that are affected by this disease.Limbic System – “Survival Brain”Neocortex – “Thinking Brain”NAc / Survival/reinforcement circuit – “Go” CircuitLeft Orbitofrontal Cortex – “Stop” CircuitThe obsession of the mind.How a memory formedHow do certain chemicals present during the formation of a memory affect how these memories are imprintedThe Malady of the spirit.How eventually we are left broken and what we need to move forwardCrossing the Invisible LineUnderstanding addiction is a diseaseOrgan – BrainDefect – The breakdown in communication between the NAc and the left orbitofrontal cortexSymptoms – Chemical use despite consequences; the loss of control; tolerance and withdrawal; cravings

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes In this weeks Podcast Kelly Kristo is back to fill in as guest host while I tell my story. Topics covered include: Growing up in a small townRealizing I drank differently than mostThe progression of my diseaseFinally admitting TO MYSELF that I had a problem and that I wanted a better life for myselfFinding that Meetings, a sponsor, and working the step was the only thing that worked for me.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Types of AA Meetings Open/ClosedMale/FemaleBig BookStepSpeakerDiscussionCombo What is a relapse?  Stages of Relapse = TRIGER(Emotional) – THOUGHT(Mental) – CRAVING (Physical) – USE Like it or not, the first stage of relapse is emotional, so in order for us to become more aware of the warning we need to understand our feelings and emotions a little better. We may believe it's impossible to understand, predict or control our emotional responses to people or events, however, feelings and emotions are not magical.  They are part of being human and we can learn how to Think about our feelings in a way that makes it less likely that we will be Ruled by what we feel. Feelings Learning to “deal” with feelings.Accepting they are normal.Understanding that thoughts or ideas may influence feelings.Talking about it helps.Most people will gladly express their Opinions and Thoughts on a subject, but not their Feelings or Emotions.As a society it seems we have learned that feelings and emotions should be suppressed and denied.Don't get mad.There's no reason to be upset.Don't be a cry baby.Calm down.You shouldn't feel that way.The inability to recognize and identify our feelings can cause problems.Effects our ability to communicate honestly and assertively with people.When we don't have an avenue for dealing with our feelings openly, we may attempt to “medicate” those feelings that trouble us with drugs and alcohol.Medication wears off, but the feelings remain.What are Feelings and emotions?Physical ResponsesSweaty palms, increased blood pressure, increased adrenaline, and blood sugar (Fight or Flight)Many emotions have similar physical characteristics. Angry/EmbarrassedNeed to be able to ask “what am I feeling right now” we can become aware of a physical response to a situation.Nonverbal ResponsesWe communicate most of what we are feeling NonverballyGestures, facial expressions, tone, loudness, eye contact, distanceIn order to communicate effectively, it's important to be aware of how we communicate nonverbally.  Nonverbal communication is often more powerful and believed more than the wordsYour upset… NO I AM NOT!When there is confusion between what you are saying, and your body language people go with the body language.Feelings have a physical side; in that we can feel them in our bodies.We also communicate feelings with our bodies, whether we are aware of doing so or not.Nonverbal communication is one of the most important ways we communicate.Awareness of these things is the first step in learning to use our feelings constructively.Pay attention to what your body tells you, especially wen it comes to uncomfortable feelings like anger, jealousy, resentment, anxiety.Awareness gives you a tool to use for taking some deep beaths to calm down.Also pay attention to the things you do to communicate your feelings without words. It may not be fair, but we have turned certain body languages into signs of us drinking.Eye contactNot getting things doneCouchIt's important to realize the impact that certain thoughts and ideas may have on our feelings and emotional states.Important to learn to recognize ideas and Thinking Patterns that lead to negative or uncomfortable feelings or Mind Traps.These mind traps can wear us down and keep us emotionally upset.  Often we may not even realize our thinking is causing bad feelings.Example if I create a mind trap that says I MUST ALWAYS BE LIKED BY EVERYONE I MEET IN LIFE, then I have set myself us for a lot of negative and unhappy feelings. It's not realistic to think everyone in the world MUST like me and as long as I carry that idea around in my head, (mind trap) I'll be disappointed and unhappy on a regular basis. Mid Traps, or unrealistic thinking patterns, can threaten recovery efforts because of the emotional turmoil they produce.One solution is to learn to challenge these Mind Traps...

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes Family Trip – Glensheen MansionI believe there is a marketing OpportunityIf you do the research I think you can pretty much conclude who did it, but I am not going to get into that since this is not a murder mystery Podcast although if I could figure out a way to tie those together I definitely would.However, I'll tie it together in this way Sobriety could use a bit of a marketing campaign as well.I think for those starting out they look at it as loosing somethingWe need to start looking at it as gaining so much more.First you need to get through that first year.All the studies will show that if you can make it a year the chances you stay sober go way up.  Why is this?A lot of the research will say that your brain starts to reset and not think about it anymore.I also think you get past all the firsts that can be hardFirst work tripFirst Happy HourFirst VacationFirst BirthdayFirst XmasFirst MeetingBut how do we do this?24 hours at a timeAll you need to do is string 365 24-hour periods togetherI have already talked aboutMeetingsSponsorWorking the stepsToday I am going to focus on a few more ideasTechnically one day at a time is a tool, but I'm going to talk about how to get through 24 hours. There is a book by AA called Living Sober – I've become a little addicted to books written before I was born. This book was written in 1975 Because you find things like “…Treatment primarily involves not drinking…” American Medical AssociationI like this book because it's written by AA, not doctors.People with experience.  They don't know why things work; they just now that they do.Of course, there are doctor'sBill W and Dr. Bob – Founders of AABill was a BusinessmanManaged to stay sobor 5 mos. by helping others (12th step) he traveled to Akron for a meeting that didn't go his way.After he felt compelled to drink, but instead he searched out another alcoholic to talk to and found Dr. Bob.  May 15th, 1935, first AA meeting.Dr Bob was still an active alcoholic, but never drank againTook 4 years to put together 100 former alcoholics to write the Big Book.Maybe I'll do a more informative podcast on that…Eating or drinking something – usually, sweetThis booklet is based on our own personal experiences, rather than on scientific reports.  So, we cannot explain precisely, in technical terms, why this should be so. We can only pass on the word that thousands of us - even many who said they had never liked sweets – have found that eating or drinking something sweet allays the urge to drink.Arnie PalmerI was a Diet Coke drinker – I moved back to Regular Coke, and now on to Coke Zero because … that's healthierI like ice cream all of a sudden. Anyone can quick drinking.  I've done it lots of times. How do we Live Sober? Play the Tape ForwardQuins Story Getting ActiveIt is very hard just to sit still trying not to do a certain thing, or not even to think about it.  It's much easier to get active and do something else.What to do with all this time on our hands we had once spent planning, getting our drinks, drinking, recovering…Substituting a new and different activity is easier than just stopping the old activity and putting nothing in its placeVacationActive in AANot going to say much about this other than this is a good step for those that are on the fence about being an alcoholic too.Don't worry sitting at, and observing, AA. Meetings does not make you an alcoholic, or an AA Member, any more than sitting in a hen house makes you a hen.Not required to do anythingActive out of AATaking walksEddieReadingNot a big fan, but I do it for the podcastGoing to museumsUsually don't but… GleensheenStarting on long-neglected choresI just moved instead, but may be good for youTrying a new hobbyGrilling/CookingYouTubeSomething that takes a lot of time and seems out of your league (bacon)PodcastSober HouseRevisiting an old pastimepuzzlesT...

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes Today we discussed:Love Songs for Angry Men, the opening band for the podcastthe similarities between AA and NAAn audio book I listened to this week that didn't quite pan outHow it workshow finding an easier softer way does not work

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes When I started this podcast one of the things I wanted to do was to chronicle my journey so that others just starting out could benefit from my experience, which admittedly started at Zero When Anybody asks me How I am doing this I answer them all the say way. Go to meetingsGet a sponsorWork the steps And for me, that is the order. I started going to meetings right out of treatmentIt took me a few meetings before I found my sponsorNot long after that we started working the steps. Over the past few weeks, we have been meeting, working the steps, and I am now starting Step 8 Step 4 – PodcastToday 5-7Only 1 mentions alcohol On Sunday I attended a new Big Book meeting, my first, and the reading was The Man who mastered Fear. I then went to Church and the topic was Build a great defense to offence Cannot be offended it you see it coming.Being offended is like a trap.  Don't get stuck in it. Step over it.Week begore Judging others – Don't make assumptions.Don't be offended – Never take things personally. What is the common denominator?  Humility Best time to plant an oak tree… 15 years ago.  Second best? Today. All of this ties to Steps 5-7 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of CharacterHumbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings Today I am going to pick up at Steps 5-7I'm going to start with a quick recap of the steps.I know most people listening are either very familiar with them, or can easily look them up online, so as I go through them I'm going to add the Spiritual Principle of each, which people may be less familiar with12 Steps for Concrete ThinkersThe Secular 12 StepsAgnostic AA 12 StepsOnly the 1st step mentions alcohol or addictionMore evidence of this being an Exclusive Club which everyone could benefit from. Each of the 12 steps contains a Spiritual Principle HonestyHopeFaithCourageIntegrityWillingnessHumilityCompassionJusticePerseveranceSpiritual AwarenessService Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.Key phrase – To another human beingAll Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires… They will deflate our egosFew Steps can be harder to take than Five, but scarcely any Step is more necessary to long-term sobriety and peach of mind than this one.AA has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them.We have to talk to somebody about them.So intense is our fear and reluctance to do this, that many people at first try to bypass Step Five.We search for an easier softer wayWhich usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors.  Then we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our behavior, which our friends probably know about anyhow.But of the things that really bother and burn us we say nothingFew things have caused us more trouble than holding back on Step 5Some people are unable to stay soberOthers relapse periodically until they REALLY clean houseOldtimers, sober for years, often pay dearly for skimping on this StepSuffer Irritability, anxiety, remorse, and depressionThey discovered that relief never came by confessing the sins of another.  Everybody had to confess his own.It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this.What are we likely to receive from Step 5… we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had.Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by lonelinessWhen we found AA, and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand (our Tribe) the sense of belonging was tremendously excitingWe thought the isolation proble...

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com A lot of what I am going to cover comes from It's OK that you're not OK by Megan Devine.  This is not going to be a deep dive, so I encourage you all to buy and read the book (Website).I also want to point out that this is a book about the loss of a loved one. I fully understand that admitting I am an alcoholic is not the same as my wife drowning in front of me, but this is a book about loss, and I have experienced loss.This shitty disease took from me the person I used to be.  The same way finding out you have cancer changed your life from that point on.I happen to like the person I have become, but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard and I also understand that others may be having a much harder time dealing with it.This book can be used for all kinds of loss, and it does it a disservice if it is type casted as a book for only those who have lost someone.Not all losses are created equal.  The loss of a child is different than the loss of a grandparent the same way the loss of who you used to be is different.I also want to state, that this episode is not just for you. A good part of this episode is for your friends and family.  I've never done this before, but if you feel it would help I would ask that you ask your friends and family to listen to this episode.  Hell, I actually feel most of my episodes would be good for anyone to listen to, but I am hoping these helps alleviate some stress for you too. I'm going to break this episode down into 4 parts that loosely follow the book. You've admitted you an alcoholic, now what (coming to terms)Sometimes shit just sucks!A message for Friends and familyThe way forward with your tribe. First a little bit about Megan Devine. She was a counselor for over a decadeIn 2009 she watched her partner drown just before his 30th birthday.After she wanted to call all of her clients and apologize for her ignoranceNothing could have prepared her, and nothing she had learned mattered. You've admitted you're an alcoholic, now what? Reality of loss sets inEverything is different nowNothing makes senseYour life was normal, but now it is anything butNothing feels realYour mind cannot stop replaying events to try make senseBecause you feel crazy doesn't make you crazyThere is only so much you can absorb at a timeWe need to know how to live hereLittle land minesYou don't just loose the present, you lose the future you should have hadTrips to the grocery storeNo wonder grief is so exhaustingIt's not the actual pain of loss it's the sheer number of tiny things to be avoided or planned for.The need to just not talkSmart people have started to try take away your painWhat the outside world believes and what you know to be true can be the hardest partWondering if others are nuts or if you are too sensitive adds another layer of stressThere really is something not comforting in the ways people are trying to comfort youPeople are saying the sweetest things, why does this make you angryEveryone has their opinionIn early recovery you feel crazy, but it's the culture that is crazy.  It's not you it's usOur views on grief are almost all negative.  Something to be taken away.There is no room for your pain to just existMaybe you feel aloneWhat does matter is that you are not alone feeling the world had failed you Suicide Surviving early grief is a massive effortWhat to do when the pain is too much?Not wanting to be alive is different than wanting to be deadIt's hard to tell none grieving people that.You simply don't careNeed to find a way to get through these momentsMake a pact with another alcoholicRemind yourself of the consequences – Play the tape forwardAnything to get through these times.Please stay alive! Do it for others if you must.Please reach out for help. Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255)Acknowledgement is the only form of medicine that works

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com I had so much fun hearing Kelly's story! I look forward to having her back again soon!

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com The AA Promises: Promise 1: We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Promise 2: We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Promise 3: We will comprehend the word serenity. Promise 4: We will know peace. Promise 5: No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. Promise 6: The feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. Promise 7: We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Promise 8: Self-seeking will slip away. Promise 9: Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Promise 10: Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. Promise 11: We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Promise 12: We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. What do the Promises mean? The Big Book's Promises mostly describe the change in attitude that will transpire within the alcoholic, "sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly." They may take time, but they "will always materialize if we work for them." A person working a good program to recover from alcoholism will surely experience an internal shift that produces a new level of peace and well-being. Readers of the Big Book will notice the following words emphasized in these Promises, found in chapter 6, that represent the central benefits and primary purposes of recovery: FreedomHappinessPeaceSerenityBenefit to others Simultaneously, the Big Book promises the departure of these unwelcome byproducts of alcoholism: FearRegretFeelings of uselessnessSelf-pitySelfishness and self-seeking So the Promises are two-fold: the person who works a good program will gain a spiritual foundation and a whole new outlook on life, and the dread and negativity of alcoholism will be undone.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Update – Part of the point of this podcast to is to share with others my journey.  Today is mostly going to be about that, which happens to be step 4. Go to a lot of meetings.Network to find other meetings and new friends.Find a home meeting.Got a sponsor.Staying connected.Calling people from the meeting/treatment.Meeting Each Friday (The meeting before and after the meeting (fellowship))Going out to dinner.Treated like rock stars for some reason.Know our names what we drink.We are good tippers, but our bills are half of what they used to be, so that can't be it.We feel there is a stigma of telling people I'm an alcoholic, but as much as I know there is one I'm also here to say in a lot of cases there isn't one.Changing my status on LinkedIn.I sat there for a long time before I hit enter. Taking someone up on offer to go to a new meeting.Sunday night meetingGoing to a meeting vs. getting out of a meeting.“I” statements (I'm working on my Twitter posts) Harder than I had thought.Had to start this podcase over about 5 times.My sponsor says it is important or I wouldn't let it bother me.Reading the big book.Read it in Haz, but different perspective with sponsor.Starting Step 4 – Not for everyone, and this is my first time doing one.I feel great, but as we all knowCunningBafflingPowerfulPatient Step 4 - “Made a searching and FEARLESS moral inventory of ourselves.” If you go to treatment you will probably leave on step 3.For those who get hung up it almost always is going to be on step 3.“Made a decision to turn out will and our lives over to the care of God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM.”We have instincts for a reasonFind a partnerReproduceProvide foodSecure shelterAll are necessary, but often far exceed their proper function.Powerfully, blindly, and subtly they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives.When out of joint, cause us great trouble.No human, however good, is exempt. (We are part of an exclusive club)Cause is misdirected instinct.Step 4 is a vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been/are.How, when, where our natural desires have misguided us the unhappiness this caused others and ourselves.How do I go about this step?Start with one and do a deep dive to discuss with my sponsor.The 12x12 gives examples of the questions I may need to answer. sex, power, wealth.Anytime a person imposes his instincts unreasonably upon others, unhappiness follows.Wealth/security (material & emotional)SexPrestige/powerCan produce anything from a cold shoulder to a blazing revolutionWe will see those instincts running wild are the underlying cause of destructive drinkingWe have drank to:Drown feelings of fear, frustration, and depressionEscape the guilt of passionFor vainglory that we may enjoy foolish dreams of pomp and power. (1953)If we try conquering this step on our own it can lead down a nasty worm hole.Depression can lead to guilt and self-loathingGrandiosity leads us to solely blaming the drinking for any defectI quit drinking, so obviously everything else will take care of itself.If I was a pretty nice person before the drinking why do I need a moral inventory now that I am sober?We believe our behavior was cased by other people. People who really need a moral inventory.  This is on them.This is why this step is done with our sponsor.They have done this step before, and they can guide us.As soon as the newcomer begins to be more objective, the newcomer will fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects.Majority of AA members have suffered severely form self-justification during drinking days.Self-justification is the maker of excuses and all kinds of damaging conduct.We had to drink because:Times were hard or times were good.At home we were smothered with love, or got none at all.We were a great success or dismal failures.We had won a ward or lost a peace.

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Show Notes The Next three agreements are born from the first agreement. Don't take anything personally! Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally.This is easier said than done.  As humans we take everything personally.If we remember back to the 1st agreement… if I walk up to someone on the street and call them stupid that is on me, not them.If someone says the same to us and you take it personally it's because you agree with what the person has said and as soon as you agree the poison goes through you and you are trapped in the dream of hell.What cases us to become trapped is called Personal Importance or taking it personally.This is the maximum expression of selfishness because we assume everything is about me.Even if someone ran up to you on the street and shot you that has nothing to do with you.  That is on them.  They don't know you.  They are obviously dealing with some issues, but it has nothing to do with you.During our upbringing we learn to take everything personally.  Everything revolves around us. Me, me, me!Nothing anyone does if because of you.  It is always because of them.Everyone lives in their own dream.  They live in a completely different world.When we take something personally we assume they know what's in our world.Even when a situation seems very personal and someone insults you directly, it has nothing to do with you.What they say, what they do, and the opinions they have are all based on their agreements.  Their point of view comes from their upbringing.Even if someone gives you their opinion… (that is all it is, their opinion) and say, “you look fat” Do Not Take It Personally.That person is obviously dealing with something themselves and they are trying to send you emotional poison.  If you take it personally then it becomes yours.Taking things personally makes you an easy target for these kinds of peopleHowever, if you don't agree with it and do not take it personally then you become immune to this kind of garbage and the hell that comes with it.Immunity to poison and the hell it creates is the gift of this agreement.When you take things personally you will feel offended, and your natural reaction will be to defend yourself based on your beliefs.You make something big out of something so little because you have to be right and everyone else has to be wrong and so you start giving your opinions.Remember your opinions are from your personal dream and your agreements.  They have nothing to do with the other person, so stop trying to spread them.Say to yourself “It is not important what you think about me, and I don't take what you think personally.”I don't take it personally when someone says, “you're the best” and I don't take it personally when you say, “you're the worst”.  I just know that when people are happy they tend to say nice things and when they are angry then tend to say mean things.  Neither are of my concern.I know what I am and that is all that matters to me!I don't take it personally.  Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know that is your problem and not mine.  It is the way you see the world.  It is not personal because you are dealing with yourself and not me.If someone's words do truly hurt you it is not the words they have said to you.  It is because you have an unresolved wound that you need to work on.  Their words did not hurt you, what it stirred up inside you.Anyone's opinions are based on their truths or agreements they have made.  Not yours, so if someone gets mad at you it is on them and has nothing to do with you.People get mad because they are afraid and dealing with fear.  If you are not afraid hate, jealousy and sadness slip away.If you live without fear there is no place for these emotions to build up and if you don't let these emotions take root you will feel good.  All the time!Everything will make you happy and you will love everything around yo...

For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com Welcome to the HammeredRecovery Podcast. In this episode we discussed: I don't think there has been a book that has changed my life more then this one.  I can tell you that my kids are absolutely sick of me quoting The Four Agreements. The Four Agreements Be Impeccable with Your WordDon't Take Anything PersonallyDon't Make AssumptionsAlways do your best But before we get to the four agreements we need to understand where they come from. The Toltec Anthropologists have spoken of the Toltec as a nation or a race, but in fact, the Toltec were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore a conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones.Naguals (NA'WAL) – Masters (Spirits, Witch doctors, Shaman)Forced to conceal their knowledge so it wasn't used for personal gain from those who were not prepared to use it wisely.Passed down through generations of Naguals.Veiled in secrecy for hundreds of years, but ancient prophecies foretold the coming of an age when it would be necessary to return to the people.Don Miguel Ruiz, Nagual form the Eagle Knight lineage has been guided to share the powerful teachings. IT GETS PRETTY DEEP IN THE FIRST COUPLE CHAPTERS It starts off with The Smokey Mirror which explains where the agreements come from.One of the Toltec studying to become a medicine man felt there must be something more.One day as he slept in a cave, he saw himself sleeping and came out to look at the stars.Transformed his life forever, “I am made of light; the stars are made of light” “Everything is made of light”.He called the light Tonal and the space in between the light Nagual and he knew what created harmony between the two was Life or Intent.We are all just mirrors reflecting light.  Everything in existence is a manifestation of one living being we call God (Higher Power).You do not need to believe in God to see Light as a higher power.Everything we see is a reflection of light.  He had a hard time explaining this to others.  They could tell he changed but couldn't see the change.  They started to think of him as a God, which he acknowledged, but explained “we are all God as we are reflections of each other” Everyone is a mirror.  He saw himself in them, but they could not see themselves in him.Everyone is dreaming, but without awareness.  They couldn't see him as themselves because they were full of fog and smoke between the mirrors.He didn't want to forget what he learned, so he called himself the Smokey Mirror.  The smoke is the dream and mirror is the dreamer. Domestication and the Dream of the Planet “What you are seeing and hearing right now is nothing but a dream.  You are dreaming right now in this moment. You are dreaming with the brain awake.” You can literally believe we are all dreaming, or think of it as how we are just coasting through life Society's dream – the dream of the planetThis dream is the collective of dream of billions of smaller, personal dreams These are basically life lessons or rules we have learned growing up We are born a blank slate with the capacity to dreamWe are then taught society's dream.We learn how to behave, what to believe, what not to believe, what is acceptable and not acceptable, good/bad, beautiful/ugly, right/wrong.You didn't choose what language to speak, you didn't choose your moral values.As children we didn't have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, but we agreed with the information passed down.  If we don't agree, we don't store that information.As soon as we agree, we believe and that is called faith.  To have faith is to believe unconditionally.That is how we learn.We become a copy of Mom and Dad, then we learn the word NO.We form a belief system “The book of law”.With out question, whatever is in the book of law, is our truth.We start to judge everybody and everything by our book of law.The Judge rules all.

Welcome to the HammeredRecovery Podcast. In this episode we discussed: Types of Stinking Thinking Lip Service Grandiosity Corner Cutting Defiance How to combat Stinking Thinking Awareness Commitment Action For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com

The Hammered Recovery Podcast looks to share my story, and all I have learned, through early sobriety.  By no means am I an expert, in fact the opposite is probably closer to the truth, but one thing I have learned is talking about it helps and together we can live our best life Healthy. Happy. Sober.Welcome to the inaugural episode of the HammeredRecovery Podcast. In this episode we discussed:How quickly your life can change if you work for it.Two days in each week about which we should not worry.  One of them is yesterday and the other is tomorrow.For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com

The Hammered Recovery Podcast looks to share my story, and all I have learned, through early sobriety.  By no means am I an expert, in fact the opposite is probably closer to the truth, but one thing I have learned is talking about it helps and together we can live our best life Healthy. Happy. Sober. Welcome to the inaugural episode of the HammeredRecovery Podcast. In this episode we discussed: Admitting I was an alcoholicMy Recovery Journey Intensive Outpatient Hazelden Betty Ford AA Meetings Getting a sponsor The importance of setting boundaries For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com  or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com