Porn and The Gospel

In this episode of 'Porn and the Gospel,' we look at John 15:9-10 and explore how the principles of Robert Sternberg's Triangulation of Love theory can illuminate a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with God. I want to challenge you to evaluate your own relationships with God. Is willpower enough? Or does it require something more? Does it require deep emotional intimacy and passionate desire? This episode encourages reflection on how best to cultivate a rich, holistic love for God to combat temptations and grow in faith.

The Morning Hours - Prayer, Power, and Purity Psalm 5:3 ~ O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. Let me begin this by saying, I understand that some men believe that they work and think and get energy mostly in the evening. And in doing so, they don't give much thought to how they spend their mornings. If this is you, I want to challenge your assumptions. I want you to consider that prayer and preparation in the morning is far more valuable than evening productivity. The man who is at war with lust must not sleep in. This war starts before your feet hit the floor. David says, “O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice.” And Spurgeon said it like this: “Prayer should be the key of the day and the lock of the night.” Because your enemy doesn't sleep, rest, or care about your excuses, it is imperative that we wake early and begin with careful and precise prayers to our Lord and God. 

Join our free group at www.themanofvalor.com. In this episode, I'll be speaking specifically to a message from a brother who was looking for help and encouragement. This is what he said: "I feel so hopeless, I say I want to be free, ive confessed to friends and even to family. Set up accountability but I somehow end up isolating from them and going back into porn. I know it requires commitment to fight to make any progress.... I just can't seem to muster any lasting commitment. I really want to. I just don't seem to be able to and it's making me feel hopeless. HELP!" Tune in to hear how I respond.

In this episode, we'll explore the three characteristics of a man who experiences the presence of God. We'll be diving into Psalms 15:1-2 for much needed encouragement because, as men of God, there should be nothing more we desire than to live with integrity before the Lord in our daily lives.

In this episode, Spencer shares a deeply personal story about the recent tragic death of his brother-in-law, Mark Meadows, a police officer and Army veteran. Sutton reflects on the fleeting nature of life and the importance of cherishing relationships over material pursuits. He emphasizes the urgent need for men, especially in the church, to engage in spiritual warfare against the schemes of the devil, particularly in the battle against pornography and sexual sin. Drawing from Ephesians 6, Spencer calls for a renewed commitment to God, urging listeners to arm themselves with faith, prayer, and the Word of God. He concludes with a powerful message on finding joy in salvation through Christ as the ultimate remedy for overcoming sin. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:52 Tragic Loss of a Loved One 03:15 Family and Community Support 06:58 Reflections on Life's Brevity 08:38 The Importance of Relationships 10:50 Spiritual Warfare and Armor of God 17:28 Call to Action and Encouragement 26:26 Finding Joy in Salvation 28:46 Conclusion and Farewell

Satan's first trick to lure people into sin is to show them the bait while hiding the hook; to offer the golden cup but conceal the poison inside; to highlight the sweetness, pleasure, and benefits of giving in to sin, while hiding the inevitable suffering and misery that follow.   This is how he deceived the first humans. The serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. God knows that when you eat the fruit, your eyes will be opened, and you will be like gods, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:4-5).   “You'll have your eyes opened and become like gods!” That's the bait—the pleasure, the sweetness, the gain. But what he hides is the hook—the shame, the anger of God, and the loss that will come for sure.   There are two ways our eyes can be opened: the mind can be opened to joy and contemplation, or the body to shame and confusion. Satan promises the first but delivers the second. He cheated Adam and Eve, offering them an apple in exchange for paradise, just like he continues to deceive countless people today.  That's a paraphrase from Thomas Brooks

In this episode, we will reflect on the importance of identity and faith by examining the story of Moses in Exodus 2:11-15. We'll contrasts Moses's actions with the approach Jesus displayed in Matthew 9:36-38. We must embrace their true identity in Christ, turn away from sinful temptations, and continuously look to God for strength and guidance. Join the community at themanofvalor.com to engage in deeper discussions and support.

In this episode of Porn and the Gospel, we dive into the deep struggle many believers face with pornography and masturbation. Drawing from John 11, I discuss the importance of aligning our lives with God's perspective and purposes, even when it seems impossible.  We explore the duality of the Christian life—both surrender and war—showing how true freedom comes from submitting to God's will and waging spiritual battle against the flesh. Whether you're in the midst of this battle or supporting someone who is, this episode offers encouragement and practical steps to refocus on the gospel and live in victory.

There's nothing more hopeless than being stuck in the patter of habitual sexual sin. The broken promises, the secrecy, the shame, and the struggling relationships.  In this episode we walk through the struggle and look at what God's Word and I'll share three helpful suggestions for any brother struggling. 

We all have habits. These habits either help us or hurt us. They either move us toward a life pleasing to God or aid in drifting into a life of powerful and painful regrets. In this episode, I'll share 8 helpful habits that anyone can start that will significantly impact your life over time.

In the last episode from this series, I want to walk you through the actual process that a man of God can become free from porn.  It's something that almost every follower of Jesus knows but rarely gives themselves to. I want to encourage you to take the next step in becoming the man of God he created you to be. This will result in your freedom, joy, and, ultimately, God's glory.

The truth will set you free!  This is a popular quote from Jesus in John 8...but what does Jesus set us free from? In this episode, we explore the four things that Christ sets every man of God free from.

For every man of God, Jesus says, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32. In this episode, I am going to walk you through how I became free from pornography. I hope that this will encourage you on your journey to freedom. 

Every man of God who is struggling with porn wants to be free.  In this episode, I'll walk through what I see as four pillars of the man of God who finds freedom. These can all be found in 2 Samual 10.

How does Jesus respond to our sins? How did He respond to the woman caught in adultery and brought before Him by the scribes and Pharisees? In this episode, we dive into the powerful words of Jesus in this encounter and how they apply to us, His followers.

It says in John 7 that Jesus caused a division among those who heard him. Some believed while others wanted him arrested.  But even in the life of a follower, he can cause division. He will not allow us to sit on the fence and be casual bystanders in this life.  In this episode we will discuss the importance of commitment.

Let's face it: I've made every mistake in the book when it comes to living a life of sexual integrity. And now that I speak with men every week about the same thing, I have noticed a BIG mistake that most of them are making. Listen in to find out what that mistake is and how you can avoid it. 

Jesus did not seek His own glory. He constantly reminded people of this throughout the book of John.  His chief aim was to glorify God in all things. And He did that by telling the truth and having no falsehood in Himself. It had me asking the question, "How often do I seek my own glory even by telling lies of omission (not saying things I should be saying)? Hiding when I should be confessing...boasting when I should be fasting...laughing when I should be weeping." My flesh hates submission to God. But because the Spirit of Christ lives in me, HE causes my spirit to rejoice at the thought of submission to God. So much of it comes down to the truth. Am I willing to embrace the truth even when it reveals me to be a weak sinner? This is what Paul said: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

John 7:17 - If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. Is your will to do God's will?  So often, men talk about obedience without actually obeying. And with that repetitive behavior comes a great danger - missing the truth of God's message. In today's episode, we dive into hearing the truth with the intention of obeying it. This is the man who will be blessed.

Brothers, we want to be done forever with a lifestyle of habitual sexual sin.  This means that we must follow and set our minds on the things that the Spirit has His mind set on. In this episode, I will walk you through two ways we kill habitual sin through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Listen and then share it with a friend.

Brothers, the LORD is so gracious to us and answers His children when we call on Him. Today, I want to walk you through five prayers I am praying for men struggling with sexual sin that I believe YOU, too, can adopt into your own time of prayer. These prayers have the potential to change your life forever!

To be a single-minded man of God, we must let go of anything that would keep us from following the Lord's will for our lives.  To be a double-minded man is the norm in today's world. Limping between two worlds and doing neither any good.  In this episode, we'll explore the warnings we see in God's Word.

What does it take to grow beyond our struggle with pornography? It takes faith in the promises of God. How do we grow our faith? We grow our faith by hearing, reading, studying, memorizing, and meditating on the Word of God. In this episode, we will look at four principles for approaching God's Word as outlined by John Newton.

There is a lot we can learn from the life of Moses. Some of the most telling verses are found in the book of Hebrews that talk about what his faith enabled him to do for the glory of God. This episode will be both challenging and encouraging as we think about our own life and faith.

The end of 2023 and the beginning of 2024 brought with it a lot of reflection. If 2023 were the last full year of my life, did I live it well?  If 2024 is the last year I'll be alive in this life, what would I hope to accomplish? In this episode, we look at the Word of God's call for a life of urgency. We cannot afford to spend another year trapped, stuck, and held back by sexual sin.

Your best life is prayerfully and purposefully preparing for the next. In this episode, Spencer walks through several passages that encourage us to develop a long-term view of our life here.

Jesus 'found' His first disciples and called them to follow Him. What a rich calling and yet they didn't have an idea what that looked like. They simply followed Him believing that the reward they would receive was sure to come. You and I can have faith in the same promises!

In John, we read about the first disciples Jesus called to hang out with Him. We can learn several important aspects about being a true disciple of Christ from these early interactions.

I learned a valuable lesson from a man who spent $50,000 to be instructed to do what he already knew he should be doing. I want to pass on this insight to you!

A brother walked into my office this last week, and I asked him a question that I would ask you as well. "What do you and I need more than anything else?" In this episode, let's examine what that is by examining the humiliation and exaltation of Christ in Philippians.

Calling on God during our troubles holds a promise and a responsibility. The promise is that he will deliver us. The responsibility is that we will glorify Him. In this episode, we dive into Psalms 50:14-15 and see how God's deliverance will always lead to His praise.

Peter said 'Have no fear of them...' What is it that so many men fear that keeps them trapped in the prison of porn? In this episode, we'll remember God's Word to all of us who find ourselves struggling with the fear of others.

For men who constantly struggle with porn, it becomes a battle of belief - "Does God love me?" "Can He free me from this sin?" "Will he free me?" The true goal of the Christian life is not freedom from porn but life in Christ. In this episode, we'll talk about the process each man of God should seek to walk in the Spirit.

Paul addresses the church in Corinth in his first letter and calls out something that had become evident to him...that they were Christians operating out of the self-life and not the Spirit-life. He said that he couldn't feed them meat but that they still needed milk. This is an idea the writer of Hebrews also communicated to the church...they were still babies in Christ. So what does this mean for us? It means that it's possible to be a believer but remain a child in the faith stuck in the nurseries of our churches. But that is not where we're meant to stay. We have been told we need to grow up and make disciples. Babies can't make disciples; instead, they depend on others to serve them. In this episode, we'll explore four worldly, carnal, fleshly Christian characteristics. Become a Modern Man of Valor HERE

Many men have asked me if they should install blockers on their phones, tablets, and computers. It's a great question and one I'll address on this episode. My answer may not be what you expect.

What does preparing your mind for action like Peter encourages the church in 1Peter 1:13 look like? How should we think soberly about our life and our stewardship of opportunities God's given us? What is my responsibility to lead others when I'm having a difficult time leading myself? Brother, the LORD has called you to a life of action and bearing fruit for His glory. This will never happen without our minds being ready for action. In this episode, I'll discuss some very practical things that have helped me over the years.

When Asa saw his enemy of 1,000,000, even with his army of 580,000 mighty men of valor, he cried to the LORD. Why don't we turn to the LORD with urgency? Because, likely, we don't see the enemy for who he truly is.

Arguably the greatest golfer to ever live, Tiger Woods was in a league by himself. Before he could walk he was being groomed to become a professional golfer who, in the words of his father, would change the world. Whether you care about golf or sports in general, every man of God can learn something from Tiger Woods. In this episode, I will share my takeaways with you and how to apply them to your own life.

David had his Mighty Men of Valor. But what does it take to be a Modern Man of Valor in today's digital world? In this episode we look into the last letter Paul wrote to Timothy and his exhortation to fulfill his calling and duty as a man of God. Find out how you and I can put Paul's words into practical use in our life.

We all have this great Enemy of our soul. He's relentless and takes no days off. However, We have a God who doesn't tremble or hide. We have a God who goes to war with us and for us. In today's episode, I am going to share how you can defeat your greatest enemy.

What does clinging to God's testimonies look like? When I think or picture clinging to something? It's having a death grip on something. I will not let go. I must not let go. It's very different than drifting away. When I drift away. It's because I'm not anchored. In truth, and I'm not clinging to God's word. Spurgeon says this. If we are not true to our profession, we may be left to reap the fruit of our folly, which will be a bitter thing called shame. A believer should never be ashamed but act the part of a brave person who has done nothing to be ashamed of in believing his God. If I am diligent in clinging to God, he will ensure that my grip does not fail, then I will have nothing to feel shame about. My shame is heightened when I am not safe and secure in God's estimate of me of my sonship of my standing with him. But when I am safe, secure and without shame, I see things as they are in light of eternity. Lord, keep me by Your grace as I use my grip to cling to you. When I am without shame and feel the Lord holding me close to him and willing obedience, then I feel free and full of life and my desire to run on his highway is strong. I'm carried in speed by His Spirit, hungry for greater holiness and obedience than I now have. Shame is a burden and keeps us from running our race. Isn't that what Satan desires? Burdened and shame-filled Christians? The Man With nothing to hide is the most powerful and joyful man in the room.

If you're struggling with porn and masturbation and are desperate for freedom, I want to show you three prayers in Psalms 119 that are guaranteed to be answered by God.

"As soon as you are washed in Christ's blood and clothed in His righteousness, you must begin to hew your way through a lane of enemies, right up to the eternal thone. Every foot of the way will be disputed; not an inch will Satan yield to you." Charles Spurgeon

It's the New Year when everyone imagines new beginnings, new habits, new goals, and new commitment. This is good. It's good to think of a new year like a new lifetime. There's the possibility of massive change in your life. I want to encourage you in those things. But I also want you to understand the difference between Level 10 and Level 2 so that you can make a determination on which one you are and you want to be.

I've been struggling the past couple of weeks with some disturbing news. I recorded this episode out of a deep desire to warn, exhort, encourage, and give you a glimpse of what happens in a man's life when there is no war against sexual sin. Please listen and share this episode if you would be so bold. God may use you to stand the gap for another brother who needs to hear this.

In Psalms 101, we read some serious resolutions from David. These should be both an encouragement and a warning for us, brothers. Notice the "I WILL" and "I WILL NOT" statements from David. The praise of God should always lead us to promise, and that's what we see here. Finally, these were never meant to be done in isolation. David needed men in his life just like we do.

Every man has an invitation. And God provides the inspiration. But we can't leave without noticing that we also have a warning. As we break down Pslams 95, we'll see all three elements and how YOU can become a man of God who is the man of valor you desire to be. Psalms 95 1Oh come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! 2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! 3 For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. 4 In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his, also. 5 The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. 6 Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker! 7 For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today, if you hear his voice, 8 do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness, 9 when your fathers put me to the test and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work. 10 For forty years, I loathed that generation and said, “They are a people who go astray in their heart, and they have not known my ways.” 11 Therefore I swore in my wrath, “They shall not enter my rest.”

You have been called, Brother. But will you answer the call? Or will you run and run and run for miles on end without making any progress? It's the difference between running on a treadmill and running in a race. In only one of those activities do you win the prize.

Every man who is a disciple of Christ has at least one thing in common. They have been called to bear fruit for the glory of God. Every man should have ambitions to undertake something great for God. In this episode, we'll examine the call of Gideon in Judges 6 and discuss THREE PRINCIPLES TO BECOME A MAN OF VALOR yourself.

Every man can experience great joy...and great distress and trouble. When it comes to porn, most believers who are struggling are faced with feelings and shame and guilt, and their stories can even turn suicidal or leave them without hope. I know I've been hopeless before and just told myself, "I'll never be 100% free..." That, my friend, is a lie. And in this episode, I will show you how to examine and destroy your lies.

Acts 3:1-101 Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. 3 Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms. 4 And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” 5 And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. 6 But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” 7 And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. 8 And leaping up, he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms. And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.