Radical Advice - BFF.fm

Guests: Sasha Hnatkovich, Ben Ward, Beatrix GravesgaurdThis is the final broadcast of Radical Advice as I move on to other kinds of audio work at the station and put this particular project to rest. It seemed like a good idea to focus on the incredible community that is BFF.fm by talking with DJ's who have become part of my support system, both creatively and emotionally. Thank you for listening and participating. Every broadcast from the past 2.5 years is available in the archives to revisit. But you're allowed to feel sad that the show is gone. I know I am. Along with feeling relief.Since June 2017, this show hasdone 118 Broadcastsbrought on 86 Unique Guestsanswered ~208 life questionsI'm proud of the work and grateful to you and the BFF.fm community. On that note, be sure to check out the shows of today's guests (bonus - these are also shows I occasionally guest on).Sasha: Boy With Girl's Name Morning Mixtape Tuesdays 8-10am PSTBen: No Magic Radio Tuesdays 8-10pm PSTBeatrix: Astral Projection Radio Hour Tuesdays 4-6pm PSTAnd you can always support the station by going to BFF.fm/donate. Much love, Lily Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 16′05″ Her Eyes On the Horizon by Do Make Say Think on Stubborn Persistent Illusions (Constellation) 62′58″ Say Goodbye by Beck on Morning Phase (Fonograf Records) 86′51″ Humans by Big Thief on Masterpiece (Saddle Creek) 118′21″ Has Ended by Thom Yorke on Suspiria (XL)

Guest: Zara ZimbardoSpace: the final frontier. Or is it? Professor and media studies expert, Zara Zimbardo, helps me unpack the human complexities and power dynamics involved in space colonization. And for something Earthy, we discuss a listener question about dealing with a passive boss.find Zara at zarazimbardo.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 13′08″ Home With You by FKA Twigs on Magdalene (Young Turks) 20′35″ Every Planet We Reach Is Dead by Gorillaz on Demon Days (Parlophone UK) 25′20″ Moon (The Slips Remix) by Bjork on bastards (One Little Indian Records/Wellhart) 31′16″ Marching the Hate Machine (Into the Sun) by Thievery Corporation on The Cosmic Game (ESL Music) 103′04″ Mars by James McAlister, Bryce Dessner, Sufjan Stevens, and Nico Muhly on Planetarium (4AD) 110′36″ Archid Orange Dwarf by Hannah Peel on Mary Casio: Journey to Cassiopeia (Real World Studios) 116′42″ Reveries by Karen O, Danger Mouse on Lux Prima (BMG)

Psychotherapist, podcaster, and business coach, Annie Schuessler, is closing her practice after being a therapist for 20 years. She joined me to talk about ending Radical Advice and navigating complex identities and needs as therapists and humans. And we answer a life question about whether to keep dating someone who's ambivalent. Find Annie and her podcast at https://rebeltherapist.me/ Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 7′48″ The Last Song by Elton John on The One (Mercury Records) 60′16″ Canto! by Cate Le Bon on Myths 04 (Rough Trade) 90′59″ Be All Things by Chelsea Wolfe on Birth Of Violence (Sargent House) 116′14″ Lions (feat. Vivian Wang) by Jenny Hval on The Practice of Love (Jenny Hval Music under exclusive license to Sacred Bones Records) Check out the full archives on the website.

Guest: Annie SchuesslerPsychotherapist, podcaster, and business coach, Annie Schuessler, is closing her practice after being a therapist for 20 years. She joined me to talk about ending Radical Advice and navigating complex identities and needs as therapists and humans. And we answer a life question about whether to keep dating someone who's ambivalent. Find Annie and her podcast at https://rebeltherapist.me/ Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 7′48″ The Last Song by Elton John on The One (Mercury Records) 60′16″ Canto! by Cate Le Bon on Myths 04 (Rough Trade) 90′59″ Be All Things by Chelsea Wolfe on Birth Of Violence (Sargent House) 116′14″ Lions (feat. Vivian Wang) by Jenny Hval on The Practice of Love (Jenny Hval Music under exclusive license to Sacred Bones Records)

Guest: Rochelle GreenhagenFind Rochelle at www.rochellegreenhagen.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 7′57″ The Middle by Jimmy Eat World on Bleed American (DMG) 40′43″ Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage on Garbage (20th Anniversary Edition/Remastered) (Almo Sounds) 76′07″ Island of Doom by Agnes on Myopia (Deutsche Grammophon) 118′18″ Flood by Vagabon on Vagabon (Nonesuch)

Guest: Jessica Brown Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 66′53″ Good Scare by TORRES on Good Scare (Merge 2019) 115′57″ Free by Cat Power on You Are Free (Matador)

Abby Volk Neuberg is a psychotherapist in San Francisco specializing in sex therapy. We talk about what that is and address a listener question about threesomes. We also discuss a listener question about addressing trauma using a technique called EMDR.Find Abby at www.counselorsf.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 8′56″ Fire Water Burn by Bloodhound Gang on One Fierce Beer Coaster (Geffen Recordings) 32′45″ Bang On by The Breeders on Mountain Battles (4AD) 67′01″ Smash My Head by CocoRosie on Smash My Head (Marathon Artists) 116′04″ Aquatic by Son Lux on Brighter Wounds (City Slang) Check out the full archives on the website.

Therapist and analyst Molly Merson joins me to talk about both the tension and the cohesion between social/climate justice and psychoanalysis. And we discuss a listener question about how therapists cope with the trauma of the people they work with.Find Molly at https://www.mollymerson.com/ Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 6′53″ I Know I Don't Know by Panda Bear on Buoys (Domino) 32′34″ Afterwards by Will Burns & Hannah Peel on Chalk Blue Hill (Rivertones) 34′30″ Rogue Dream by Bells Atlas on The Mystic (Tender Loving Empire) 47′52″ Segment & The Line by Kàryyn on The Quanta Series (Mute) 81′33″ I Am the Changer by Cotton Jones on Paranoid Cocoon (indi) 87′52″ Mercy by Lucky Dragons on Dark Falcon (555 Recordings) 105′19″ Undone by Son Lux on Bones (Glassnote Records) 115′48″ Där dit vinden kommer (feat. JaQe, Duvchi, JJ & Joy) by Lorentz on Karlekslator (Let's Make That Happen) Check out the full archives on the website.

San Francisco freelance reporter and writer, Nuala Bishari, joins me to discuss burnout, especially as a news journalist. And I announce the impending end of Radical Advice. I also answer a listener life question about the various ways one might experience therapy.Find Nuala on Twitter @thebestnuala Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 5′50″ Work by Charlotte Day Wilson on Work (Charlotte Day Wilson) 72′56″ Hurry Lady Hurry by Hae Voces on single (self released) 76′27″ Above the Sound by Yo La Tengo on There's a Riot Going On (Matador) 87′00″ 666 by Sugar Candy Mountain on 666 (Self Released) 91′12″ Two Voices by Julien Chang on Jules (Transgressive Records) 95′36″ Pop Song by Perfume Genius on Pop Song (Matador Records) 115′22″ My Other Voice by SPELLLING on Hard to Please (sacred bones) 118′02″ Glorious by Sudan Archives on Glorious (Stones Throw) Check out the full archives on the website.

This broadcast features segments of a prerecorded conversation with fellow radio producers, Chelsea, Emily, and Lilia. We go in depth about the intense and therapeutic process of making "This Shadow" for KCRW's 24 Hour Radio Race. Yes, we're happy to have won an honorable mention, but it was so much more than that.Listen to "This Shadow" and the other Radio Race winners here: https://www.kcrw.com/culture/articles/kcrws-2019-radio-race-winnersFind Chelsea Kigano at http://www.chelseakigano.com/Find Emily Shaw at https://www.emilyshawcreates.com/ and on Twitter @emilyshawcreatesFind Lilia Vega on Twitter @vivalvega and @djmamacoco Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 9′21″ Blood of the Fang by Clipping. on Blood of the Fang (Sub Pop) 28′19″ Awake on a Train - 2019 Remaster by Mum on Yesterday Was Dramatic - Today is Ok (20th Year Anniversary Addition (Morr Music) 48′31″ Winners by LIPTALK on DAYS (Northern Spy) 51′10″ Take It Back feat Arca, Joba & Justine Skye by Blood Orange on Angel's Pulse (Domino) 85′04″ New Love Cassette by Angel Olsen on All Mirrors (Jagjaguwar) 116′32″ This Mess We're In by PJ Harvey, Thom Yorke on Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea (Universal Island Records) Check out the full archives on the website.

Christine joins via video chat from Seattle where it's dreary and gray like it should be in October. We discuss her new life as an official Doctor of Psychology and settling back into her home town that's changed so much since she left. We talk about the impacts and big question marks around the gentrification/housing crisis. And we discuss a listener life question about job interviewing. Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 16′55″ Cut Me Off by Madeline Kenney on Perfect Shapes (Carpark Records) 20′00″ Inhale Exhale by Anna Meredith on Inhale Exhale (self released) 27′40″ The Mother Road by Chelsea Wolfe on Birth Of Violence (Sargent House) 92′23″ And It Rained All Night by Thom Yorke on The Eraser (XL Recordings) 96′31″ Be Released by Virginia Wing on Ecstatic Arrow (Fire Records) 107′33″ First Gen Pisces by Bells Atlas on The Mystic (Tender Loving Empire) 111′22″ Heart Cooks Brain by Modest Mouse on The Lonseome Crowded West (Glacial Pace) 118′05″ Applaud by Yves Tumor, Hirakish, Napolian, ANTHEM on Applaud (Warp) Check out the full archives on the website.

San Francisco based DBT therapist Marielle Berg talks about how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) works as well as her other specialization: food and body image issues. And we answer a listener question about identifying feelings.Find Marielle at www.bayareadbtcc.com, www.cookierevolution.org and find her two podcasts, It's Just a Cookie and The Skillful Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 8′02″ 500 Miles by Roseanne Cash on The List (Manhatten Records) 45′49″ Eye in the Wall by Perfume Genius on Eye in the Wall (Matador) 68′55″ Lark by Angel Olsen on Lark (Jagjaguwar) 116′00″ Dogs by Joyero on Dogs (Merge Records) Check out the full archives on the website.

I take the reigns solo for most of the show, talking about how the past effects us now and answer a question about reparenting. Later in the show, my childhood friend Julene joins me via video chat to talk about childhood experiences that she's had to overcome as an adult. Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 4′11″ any human friend by Marika Hackman on Any Human Friend (Sub Pop) 7′07″ Immunity by Jon Hopkins on Immunity (Domino) 18′23″ Rich by Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Fever To Tell (Interscope) 28′30″ Come As You Are by Nirvana on Nevermind (DGC/Sub Pop) 41′34″ Loves Missing by Iggy Pop on Free (Loma Vista) 45′49″ All This Light by Lip Talk on D A Y S (Northern Spy) 49′19″ Ache by Trevor Powers on Mulberry Violence (Baby Halo) 62′37″ Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex on Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex) 67′18″ iMi by Bon Iver on i,i (Jagjaguwar) 70′31″ Break Apart by Bonobo, Rhye on Migration (Ninja Tune) 108′57″ Sirens by Badass Wolf Shirt on Sirens (Sing the Die Song) 115′44″ Childhood by Beach House on Beach House (Apple Orchard Music) 119′09″ Teenage Birdsong by Four Tet on Teenage Birdsong (Text) Check out the full archives on the website.

Butterfly Williams is a performance artist, Black public intellectual and community activist. In this broadcast we talk about his band OLOKUN, studying psychology, identity politics, and social justice/healing. We answer a question from a listener who has the money, but is scared to quit their terrible job. Find Butterfly at www.iruke.org and www.olokunmusic.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 5′44″ Whirled by OLOKUN on Whirled (Self) 39′13″ Features Creatures - The Knife Remix by Bjork, The Knife on Features Creatures (One Little Indian Records) 75′31″ Confessions by Sudan Archives on Confessions - Single (Stones Throw) 117′33″ XTQ Idol by Trevor Powers on Mulberry Violence (Baby Halo) Check out the full archives on the website.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker (and Lily's former supervisor) Elaine Chan-Scherer talks about polyvagal theory and the nervous system in the age of Trump. Additionally we discuss a listener question about social anxiety and another about how to figure out our lives when we're young.Find Elaine at www.4614california.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 8′36″ Give Love by Sweet Honey in the Rock on Go In Grace (She-Rocks 5) 33′57″ The Khamsa by Bells Atlas on the mystic (Tender Loving Empire) 63′22″ Naeem by Bon Iver on i,i (Jagjaguwar) 87′45″ The Carrier by Becky Ninkovic on The Carrier (Paper Bag Records) 90′21″ All Mirrors by Angel Olsen on All Mirrors (Jagjaguwar) 115′54″ I Shall Love 2 by Julia Holter on Aviary (Domino) Check out the full archives on the website.

I get really grumpy when it’s too warm for me so instead of making a nice show about summertime and chilling at the beach or whatever, I want to talk about climate anxiety. Hey, you don’t listen to this show because you don’t want to feel anything, do you? In the first hour or so I’ll talk about this and share my playlist of climate anxiety songs - well, they’re not all about anxiety. Some of them are just about how nice nature is. I’m not a total monster.About 1/2 way in to the show I bring in my friends Johannah Blackman and Dennis Kiley to talk about the environmental work they're doing in their community in Maine. You can find their work here:https://www.aclimatetothrive.org/https://www.ecopsychologyinitiative.com/https://considereddays.com/ Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 5′00″ Hole in the Ocean Floor by Andrew Bird on Break It Yourself (Mom + Pop) 11′36″ Climate Prediction by Lottie Eliza on High Over The Clouds (Lottie Eliza) 18′01″ Horizon by Aldous Harding on Party (4AD) 21′39″ four ethers by serpentwithfeet on blisters (Dirtnap) 25′58″ Weathervane by Ioanna Gika on Thalassa (Sargent House) 29′44″ Climate Prediction by Lottie Eliza on High Over the Clouds (Lottie Eliza) 36′49″ 4 Degrees by ANOHNI on HOPELESSNESS (Secretly Canadian) 40′36″ Storm Warning by Latryx on The Muzappers Mixes (Mobile Home Recordings) 45′48″ Bloom by Radiohead on The King of Limbs (XL Recordings) 51′11″ Climate Prediction by Lottie Eliza on High Over the Clouds (Lottie Eliza) 57′36″ Real Outside by DRINKS on Hippo Lite (drag city) 61′36″ Sea Calls Me Home by Julia Holter on Have You in My Wilderness (Domino) 64′42″ Wild by Beach House on Bloom (Sub Pop) 69′30″ Climate Prediction by Lottie Eliza on High Above the Clouds (Lottie Eliza) 72′33″ Doomed by Moses Sumney on Aromanticism (Jagjaguwar) 118′02″ Nightfall Pale Blue by Kid Koala, ft. Emilíana Torrini on Music To Draw To: Satellite (Arts & Crafts) Check out the full archives on the website.

lilysunmft.com Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 11′40″ Nocturne No. 2 in E flat Major, Op. 9,2 by Chopin on Piano Dreams - Originals and Classices (PianoDreams) 33′07″ Weary by Solange on A Seat at the Table (Saint Records/Columbia) 63′09″ Dulce Mal by The Chamanas on Dulce Mal (571231 Records DK) 95′13″ Bang On by The Breeders on Mountain Battles (4AD) 115′55″ Smell Memory - Kronos Quartet by Mum on Smell Memory (Morr Music) Check out the full archives on the website.

Oakland based painter Cate White joined me to discuss her transition into being an artist and unpack the complications of being a white woman painting black subjects. We also answer a listener question about workplace communication and the biggest question of all, "What happens when we die?" Find her online and see her exhibition at Mills College Art Museum through September 1st.www.catewhite.com IG: @catewhite FB: https://www.facebook.com/cate.white.14?ref=bookmarks Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 0′27″ Ode to an African Violet by Mort Garson on Mother Earth's Plantasia (Sacred Bones Records) 4′00″ Rhapsody in Green by Mort Garson on Mother Earth's Plantasia (Sacred Bones Records) 7′44″ I'm Set Free by The Velvet Underground on The Velvet Underground (Universal Records) 33′46″ Hope by (Sandy) Alex G on Hope (Domino) 58′43″ Lavender Burning by Half Waif on Lavender (Cascine) 96′08″ Poor Sucker by Low on Double Negative (Sub Pop) 116′06″ St. Petersburg by Brazilian Girls on New York City (Verve) Check out the full archives on the website.

Nurse in training and bartender/server Natalie Galatzer joins me to talk about the emotional ups and downs of living with a disabling injury the past several months and dealing with the unknowns. We talk about how people are helpful and not helpful. And we explore a complex, uncomfortable question from a listener who was accused of sexual assault. Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 0′00″ Opening (from by Phillip Glass, Olivia Belli on Phillip Glass: Piano Works (Olivia Belli) 6′51″ Vegetables - 2001 Remaster by The Beach Boys on Smiley Smile (Remastered) (Capitol Records) 42′41″ Tuesday Feelings (Choose to Stay) - Tinashe by Blood Orange on Angel's Pulse (Domino Record Co) 46′05″ Lonesome Town by Heaven on Lonesome Town (Italians Do It Better) 83′47″ Benny and the Jets by Bestie Boys on Anthology: The Sounds of Science (Capitol Records) 117′47″ Bad Idea by Madeline on Perfect Shapes (Carpark Records) Check out the full archives on the website.