Emancipate Your Mind

Transcript Have you ever wanted to speak up and either found it difficult to open your mouth or felt horrible afterwards? Have your found yourself downplaying your authority or your experience to make others more comfortable? Does it feel like even when you do speak up, no one really hears you? In this episode, life… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind 090: Practicing Vocal Empowerment with Terina Maldonado

Do you ever find yourself wanting to speak up, to change something about your life for the better, but find the words getting stuck in your throat? Do you ever notice yourself ignoring parts of yourself to make other people comfortable in an attempt to preserve a relationship? This episode focuses on some of the… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 089: Combatting Learned Voicelessness

In this episode, Reiki master, podcaster and co-star of the recent Hulu documentary “Mormon No More”, Lena Osbourne, talks about the importance of listening to the wisdom of your body that comes through emotions and physical sensations and how building a relationship with that feminine wisdom already inside of us can help us shed messages… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 088: Embracing the Feminine Wisdom in Your Body with Lena Osbourne

There is a prevalent myth, particularly in high demand religion, that there exists such a thing as an “ideal woman”. In Christianity, she is described in Proverbs 31. But this idea that there is a feminine “ideal” that women should strive for exists in religion from Islam to Hinduism. You've likely encountered this idea out… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 087: Internalized Misogyny and the “Ideal Woman”

Continuing the conversation from last week about Yahweh's connection to a mother goddess, Asherah, we progress into how she was discredited and divorced in Genesis. We also talk about the cultural and societal context that may have prompted this divorce, codifying the patriarchy into religious text that was considered direct and irrefutable truth from God… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 086: Yahweh's Divorce of the Divine Feminine

Gerda Lerner, in her book, “The Creation of Patriarchy”, says that “patriarchy is a historical construct; it has a beginning, it will have an end.” if you grew up in Christianity, it may seem like fact that the heavens and Earth were created by a lone male god who created an order in which men… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 085: Remembering the Mother Goddess

Christianity and Patriarchy have a long history together, starting with the creation mythology in the first chapter of Genesis. While the scriptural text itself, whether you read it in the original Hebrew or any other translation, has some obvious though brief patriarchal references, it's been the 2000+ years of male, mostly European, commentary on the… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 084: “The Serpent Beguiled Me”: How Genesis Set the Stage for 2000 Years of Christian Sexism

In part 2 of our discussion on interdependency, Kevin and I talk about the ground rules needed to create safe space for both parties to feel seen, heard, and validated in a healthy relationship. Kevin talks particularly about how curiosity and the desire to understand matter more than the actual words we say. When we… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 083: Building Interdependent Relationships (Part 2) with Kevin Hales

Many times, those of us who are healing from relationships of codependence sometimes slingshot to the other side of the dependence spectrum into extreme independence. However, as Kevin mentions in this first part of our discussion, either extreme can be dangerous or hurtful to our sense of well being. In this first part of our… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 082: Building Interdependent Relationships (Part 1) with Kevin Hales

Do you have someone in your life that you love dearly that tends to drive you crazy with their lack of self awareness and emotional intelligence, their inability to empathize, or their inability to resolve or even approach conflict? You're likely dealing with an emotionally immature person. In this episode, we explore why many of… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 081: Safe and Sane Relationships with Emotionally Immature People

This month has been a dumpster fire in the LDS and ex-LDS communities as we've watched the LDS church respond to allegations that they've been covering up child sexual abuse. Since the Associated Press investigation broke, my Licensed Professional Therapist husband and I haven't been able to stop reading and researching and discussing what we've… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 080: Organizational Narcissism and the LDS Church's Response to Child Sex Abuse Allegations

The final type of narcissism that you're most likely to run into in high demand religion is the vulnerable narcissist. This type of narcissist will often seem like the perpetual victim of life circumstances. They've had a rough life and they need YOU to save them. Their narcissistic supply is the pity and sympathy of… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 079: The Victim and the Martyr: Understanding the Vulnerable Narcissist

High demand religions often teach us to deny ourselves and spent our lives in the service of others. While service because we're passionate about a cause and care about making the world a better place can be a beautiful part of expressing our humanity, when coupled with the idea that we're not allowed to have… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 078: The Superior Saint: Communal Narcissism at Church

If you were raised in a high demand religion that prized unquestioning obedience even if it harmed you or someone you cared about, believed that your faith was “the one truth”, and that taught you that your purpose was to convince or save others from the errors of their ways, you were likely groomed to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 077: Spiritual Elitism and the Self-Righteous Narcissist

Before we embark on a series exploring covert narcissism in high demand religion, I think it's important we address one of our collective biggest fears: Are we all just a bunch of narcissists? In today's episode, we discuss how you can recognize the basic traits that all clinical narcissists have and questions you can ask… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 076: Am I a Narcissist?

In this last installment of our 4 part discussion we explore one final possibility for why it can be so hard for us to rest and relax guilt and anxiety free: we're trying to avoid our difficult emotions. In order to rest and recover, we have to put away our work and embrace the quiet.… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 075: Numbing Your Emotions with Busyness

This week we dig further into why so many of us continue to work even when our bodies and minds are begging with us to rest. One possible reason may be a pattern called “Insecure Overachievement”. Insecure overachievement is a behavior pattern we use to get validation, approval, and to fill self-worth wounds. Because our… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 074: Why You Feel Guilty About Resting, Part 3: Insecure Overachievement

Over the past couple of years, we've collectively taken several hits to our nervous system. When that happens, sometimes we get stuck in a pattern of “fight or flight”, constantly on alert for the next threat. In this episode, we talk about how the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems operate and complement one another during… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 073: Understanding and Calming an Overstimulated Nervous System

Have you ever felt guilt or anxiety when you try to rest, relax, or go on vacation? Do you sometimes feel driven to be productive, even when you're exhausted mentally or physically? In this series we'll explore some of the common reasons individuals find themselves unable to be fully present when resting. In this episode,… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 072: Why You Feel Guilty About Resting, Part 1: Internalized Capitalism

When we have a loud or persistent inner critical voice, it can sometimes feel like we're at war with ourselves. What if we understood that that part of us isn't trying to be an enemy, but our friend? What if we knew that this part, harsh and critical as it is, is trying to keep… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 071: Befriending Your Inner Critic

In this episode, District 18 Candidate for Texas Senate, Josh Tutt, talks about how 3 of his guiding principles have helped him worry less about what people will think of him as an openly gay man running for office and be the change he wishes to see and he believes Texans deserve. To follow Josh… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 070: Living a Life of Least Regrets with Texas Senate Candidate, Josh Tutt

Have you ever tried to change a behavior or thought pattern but found yourself getting “blocked”, distracted, or feeling resistance to change? Do you feel recurring depressive thoughts or anxiety that you can't explain? You're likely encountering a protective part of you that is trying to shield a wounded childhood version of yourself from further… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 069: Integrating Your Protector “Parts”

Sometimes we may feel like we are at odds with ourselves as we heal from religious and childhood trauma and attachment injuries. There may be part of ourselves that feels excited and free as we move towards the next chapter in our lives, and another part of ourselves that feels anxious, afraid, and even ashamed… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 068: Understanding the Different “Parts” of Yourself

While it's been found that learning to be more authentic (to live true to our own values, beliefs, feelings, and needs) can bring us a greater sense of self esteem, lower stress, and greater life satisfaction, many of us can get caught up in old subconscious thought patterns when trying to live authentically that can… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 067: The Paradox of Authenticity

Whether you're leaving a high demand religion or coming out as LGBTQIA+, talking to those you love can feel daunting and overwhelming. In today's episode, Coming Out Coach, Sally Osborne, walks us through the things she's learned about coming out to friends and family members in a way that honors our feelings and boundaries and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 066: Coming Out with Confidence with Sally Osborne

Most people want their parents' approval. The fear of disappointing parents seems to be a near universal concern. For those of us healing from high demand Christian religion, this is often compounded by the indoctrination that we must “honor father and mother” if we want to be a good person. And even worse, “honor” is… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 065: Honoring Your Parents While Disappointing Them

The fear of disappointing others is usually pretty high for those of us deconstructing high demand religious indoctrination and practices. Because high demand systems often encourage codependency, we often believe we are responsible for other people's emotions and even sometimes their feelings of self-worth. When other people are disappointed with us or just don't like… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind 064: The Fear and Freedom of Disappointing Others

The family scapegoat and golden child roles are two sides of the same coin, and neither role has to do with the merit of the child themselves. It all has to do with how the parent sees themselves. In this episode, we explore what traits the golden child may have in adulthood, the benefits and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 063: Triangulation with The Golden Child

This week we unravel what it's like to be the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family, why a scapegoat role is created, how that person is conditioned over time, and how that affects them in adult life. We also explore some first steps for healing from the limiting beliefs and internalized shame this role can create… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 062: Understanding and Healing the Scapegoat Role

Religious trauma is often tied to and perpetuated by dysfunctional family systems, particularly headed by one or more narcissists. In today's episode, we explore the roles in narcissistic family systems and how that affects each person's sense of safety, belonging, and ability to care for their own needs. _____________________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION If you'd like to be… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 061: Roles in a Narcissistic Family System

After the last episode with Monika Crowfoot, many people messaged me discussing how they felt caught between cultures like she did and felt inspired to learn more about their cultural heritage as a way to heal. I also received messages from some expressing that they wished they had a culture to reclaim. Many felt culture-less… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 060: Embracing Cultural Heritage

In dualistic systems (good vs. evil thinking) there are some identities and traits that are favored and others that are considered “wrong” or “bad”. This leads people to try and assimilate to the identities that are considered “good” and hide or disown the parts of themselves that are considered “bad”. In this episode, Monika discusses… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 059: Reclaiming Indigenous Identity with Monika Crowfoot

Over the past two years, we've collectively been in a state of ongoing trauma. A global pandemic, ecological disasters, political upheaval, supply chain problems and increasing inflation. Add onto this that many of us have undergone religious and ideological deconstruction, including deconstruction of ideas we were raised to believe based on gender, race, nationality, sexual… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 058: Handling Anxiety and Overwhelm

In this episode, Charisse from The Existential Ginger podcast explores high demand religion, mental health, and suicidal ideation. We talk about how to recognize some of the signs and symptoms, what to do if you're experiencing suicidal ideation, and how to help if you know someone who is.  _______________________________________________________________________________WANT MORE FROM CHARISSE? Listen to her… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 057: High Demand Religion and Mental Health with Charisse from The Existential Ginger

Transcript My experience with coaching has been that the majority of us from high demand religious backgrounds also experience codependent patterns in our relationships. Codependency happens when we don't have a clearly defined sense of self and instead look to others for a sense of identity and rely heavily on others for our sense of… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 056: Recognizing and Releasing Codependency

“I know what is going wrong in my relationship, but how do I create a healthy relationship when I don't think I've ever seen one before?” One of you asked this question a couple of weeks ago after the podcast on setting boundaries with a narcissist. It's such a valid question because we can't create… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 055: Elements of Healthy Attachment In Relationships with Kevin Hales

We all have bias. Once we decide that something is “true” or “right”, our brain quits accumulating information that contradicts our beliefs.  It does this to save us time and energy. However, for those of us who are deconstructing high demand, authoritarian systems of thought it's especially crucial that we remain open to learning new… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 054: Confirmation Bias and Freedom to Grow

“Religion has the ability to impact which identities you hold onto, which identities you deny, and even what identities you think are possible and are valid”. “At its best, religious culture can be beautiful grounds for human flourishing, but at its worst it can be incredibly suppressive.”  In this episode, public speaker, writer, and ordained… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 053: Religion and Identity with Alicia T. Crosby

If you were raised in a high demand religion you were likely taught about a punitive, narcissistic, abusive, or codependent god. In this discussion with fellow Deconstruction Coach, Kyle Bishop, we discuss some of the red flags of an abusive, narcissistic, or codependent god and how we were conditioned from a young age to enter… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 052: How Believing in an Abusive God Affects Our Identity with Kyle Bishop

Boundaries are necessary to create healthy, safe, and trusting relationships. However, when we've been raised in codependent relationships with narcissists, our attempts at setting boundaries are often thwarted, ignored, or punished. Over time, our lack of boundaries can leave us feeling unfulfilled, misunderstood, confused about who we are, and often at the mercy of others. … Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 051: Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist

In the past 2 years of working with one to one clients, one of the most shocking discoveries for me was realizing how many people healing from religious harm are also dealing with the wounds from narcissistic abuse. Many of my clients don't realize that the behavior of their parent, their partner, or their pastor… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 050: How to Spot a Narcissist

The underlying mindset we have about our inherent worth and acceptability can make a big difference in how we experience growth for the year. There is a big difference in the mindset of “I need to change so that I am worthy of love” vs “I love myself so I want to change.” In this… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 049: Enough Already- Beginning the New Year's Growth From a Mindset of Self-Acceptance

I can't believe this is the last episode of season 1! How did this year go by so fast? As we wrap up 10 months of discussions and healing, it's so important to take some time and celebrate our wins along the journey. Celebrating creates momentum. It lights a fire underneath us. And when it… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 048: The Benefits of Celebrating Yourself

One of the biggest sources of overwhelm, guilt, and even shame as we go through religious transition is the word “should”. Coming from high demand religion, many of us have a pile of “shoulds” that we've been striving to meet our whole lives. Now that we're deconstructing, and especially during the holiday season, these shoulds… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 047: How To Stop “Shoulding” On Yourself

As humans, we are wired for connection. Without a sense of connection we begin to wither both emotionally and physically.  When we go through deconstruction, we often feel lonely because we don't feel fully seen, accepted, and understood by the friends and family we once felt close to. In this episode, we explore the differences… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 046: The Importance of Belonging vs. Fitting In

I think now, more than ever, we as a people understand the feeling of overwhelm. Over the past 2 years, we've dealt with all kinds of stressors: A world-wide pandemic. A faith transition. Political unrest. Climate change induced disasters. It feels like a lot because it is! If you've been feeling tired, stressed out, anxious,… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 045: Lessons From This Past Month On Dealing With Overwhelm

Have you ever had a relationship where you didn't feel entirely safe to be or express your full self? Have you ever found yourself walking around on eggshells around a friend or family member? Avoiding specific topics of conversation or stuffing difficulties in the relationship? Do you find yourself arguing with those you love?  We… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 044: The 7 Ingredients of Trusting Relationships

 If you're afraid of what will happen if you let yourself feel anger, you're not alone. Most of the examples of experiencing anger we witness are unhealthy examples. We learned to become aggressive, passive aggressive, or suppressive with our anger from watching those around us and responding to what was rewarded and what was punished… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 043: Moving Towards Healthy Anger Patterns

Who was taught that anger was evil? That it could destroy lives? That it was poison? Yeah. Me too. In this episode, we explore how this emotion serves us and helps us make healthy changes in our lives. We use our anger to get out of soul-sucking work situations to abusive relationships. We also use… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 042: Understanding the Gifts of Anger

Many of us were conditioned to believe that religion was the only way to raise ethical, empathic, and responsible children. If you are anything like me, you may have spent weeks worrying about how you were going to raise children with a strong moral compass after leaving high demand religion. Rachel from Post Mormon Parenting… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 041: Raising Ethical Children After Religion with Rachel from Post Mormon Parenting

Many people who have experienced religious trauma have struggled to understand the reasons they had elevated or even ecstatic feelings while attending a church that was also mentally and emotionally harming their sense of well being. Most were even told that those elevated emotions were evidence that the religious teachings were “true” and that any… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 040: Conversations About the Emotion of Elevation and Transcendent Experiences