Podcasts about internalized

What can a light scarf teach us about shame, identity, recovery, and freedom? In this Pride Month episode of Viral Mindfulness, Alexander Blue Feather shares a treasured audio recording from 01 June 2018 featuring his dear friend, Dr. Jude Theriot. What begins as a playful conversation about a lightweight scarf and grape Hi-Chew candy opens into something much deeper: the hidden shame many men carry around appearing feminine. From growing up queer in Utah and navigating masculinity as a Mormon missionary, to embracing a more gender-expansive identity later in life, Alexander reflects on the lifelong journey of liberating himself from internalized shame. Along the way, he explores Pride Month, women's equality, gender expression, sobriety, spiritual reconstruction, and the power of friendship to help us become more fully ourselves. The episode also includes reflections on the HBO series Euphoria, a powerful quote about recovery and spiritual revolution, updates on summer plans, and a delightful audio appearance from Harvey Pink Feather. Topics include: ‣ Pride Month and LGBTQ+ identity ‣ Gender expansiveness and self-acceptance ‣ Internalized shame and appearing feminine ‣ Recovery, sobriety, and spiritual transformation ‣ Friendship as liberation ‣ Euphoria and the poetry of recovery ‣ Living authentically ‣ Finding something greater than yourself Stay connected with me this Summer at viralmindfulness.com

Talking to your partner about internalized patriarchy is easy to put off (especially when he seems “better than most”). But if you're feeling increasingly frustrated by how it shows up in shared routines, the mental load, and emotional labor, it's time to do more than just commiserate with friends. In this episode, we'll explore how those “small” frustrations connect to sacred rage, how to recognize your own internalized norms, and how to resource yourself and set boundaries. You'll walk away with language and tools to invite your partner into a collaborative, honest conversation about changing the dynamics in your home. Some of what I explore in this episode includes:Recognizing your part and being willing to changeStop minimizing emotions and understanding sacred rageResourcing yourself and setting boundariesWays to invite a conversation and initiate change Have thoughts or questions about this episode? Share them with me!Send me a voice memo: https://www.speakpipe.com/MindsetUnlimited RELATED MINDSET UNLIMITED EPISODES:CNN Exposing a global r*pe academyCreating Change through Joy for Greater Ease with Heather VickeryPartner Alignment WorkbookStress Language QuizEnergy Leadership Index Assessment code FLASHELI CONNECT WITH VALERIE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration call This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSend us Fan MailSupport the show

Harry Katz and the Pistachios have one foot in the future, one in the vinyl warmth of the past. Harry isn't just an artist, he's an evangelist, spreading the good word of music long forgotten.He's dusting off records — usually the little ones (called 78s or 45s) — and spinning DJ sets or narratives on Instagram. His comment sections are little libraries, with fans sharing anecdotes and connections, turning his insights into community.We talk about his path, his presence, and how freedom on stage is exactly what the world needs right now.For 30% off your first year of DistroKid to share your music with the world click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DistroKid.com/vip/lovemusicmore⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

What if the relationship patterns that keep repeating in your life… were programmed into your nervous system before you could even speak? In this profoundly illuminating conversation, Darin sits down with attachment theory expert, author, and founder of The Personal Development School Thais Gibson to explore the hidden architecture of human relationships, subconscious programming, trauma, nervous system regulation, childhood conditioning, and the science of attachment styles. From anxious and avoidant dynamics to birth trauma, emotional neglect, fear of intimacy, people pleasing, hyper-independence, and the subconscious mind running 95% of our lives, this episode reveals how our deepest wounds unconsciously shape who we love, how we communicate, what triggers us, and why we keep recreating familiar emotional patterns—until we finally become aware enough to change them.     What You'll Learn The four attachment styles and how they shape every relationship Why the subconscious mind controls 95–97% of human behavior How childhood emotional neglect creates avoidant attachment patterns Why anxious attachment often develops from inconsistency and abandonment The roots of fearful avoidant attachment and hypervigilance How birth trauma and early nervous system conditioning impact adult relationships Why people unconsciously recreate familiar emotional dynamics The connection between trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and attraction How somatic processing creates space between triggers and reactions Why healing attachment wounds is possible through neuroplasticity and rewiring   00:00:03 – Welcome to SuperLife 00:00:32 – Sponsor: Therasage and wellness technologies 00:02:09 – Wildfires, rebuilding homes, and designing for resilience 00:03:35 – Thais returning from filming in the Amazon during the fires 00:04:22 – Darin's personal realization about avoidant relationship patterns 00:05:04 – Birth trauma, nervous system programming, and early conditioning 00:06:12 – The four attachment styles explained 00:06:35 – What secure attachment actually looks like 00:07:19 – Emotional attunement and childhood soothing behaviors 00:07:59 – Why securely attached people experience healthier relationships 00:08:30 – The anxious attachment style explained 00:09:08 – Inconsistency, abandonment fears, and people pleasing 00:09:53 – Why anxious attachment creates resentment and fragile self-worth 00:10:39 – Conflict dynamics between anxious and avoidant partners 00:11:30 – How attachment styles differ between men and women 00:12:08 – Emotional suppression and male conditioning 00:12:40 – Darin discusses hormones, trauma, and nervous system chemistry 00:13:07 – Scaling emotional healing through accessible tools and assessments 00:14:15 – Victimhood, unconsciousness, and emotional accountability 00:15:12 – Thais explains neuroplasticity and rewiring attachment wounds 00:16:22 – Why subconscious programming controls attraction patterns 00:16:52 – Conscious mind vs subconscious mind: the 5% vs 95% reality 00:17:49 – Trauma as both what happened—and what didn't happen 00:18:27 – Why we subconsciously recreate familiar emotional patterns 00:19:27 – Nervous system regulation and somatic healing 00:20:12 – Deep wounds of anxious attachment styles 00:20:35 – The "bear in the woods" analogy for emotional triggers 00:21:24 – Darin's rattlesnake story and nervous system imprinting 00:22:17 – How abandonment wounds shape adult relationships 00:23:19 – Cortisol, fight-or-flight, and emotional dysregulation 00:24:15 – Dismissive avoidant attachment explained 00:24:41 – Childhood emotional neglect and subtle trauma 00:25:25 – Feeling unseen, emotionally dismissed, and disconnected 00:26:06 – Internalized shame and fear of vulnerability 00:28:23 – Why dismissive avoidants fear intimacy and commitment 00:29:31 – Flaw-finding, distancing, and relationship sabotage 00:30:33 – Darin reflects on unconscious emotional reactions in everyday life 00:31:42 – Relationships as a "minefield of unconsciousness" 00:32:04 – Arrested emotional development and coping mechanisms 00:33:29 – Thais shares a personal story about relationship triggers 00:35:09 – Childhood fear, abandonment, and subconscious emotional storage 00:36:12 – The power of witnessing emotions instead of reacting automatically 00:37:27 – Political polarization as collective emotional dysregulation 00:38:17 – Healing emotional wounds as a contribution to humanity 00:39:14 – Somatic processing and creating emotional space 00:40:02 – "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility" 00:41:18 – Why most of human behavior is subconscious 00:42:23 – Psychedelics, healing, and creating emotional space 00:43:20 – The risks and opportunities of psychedelic experiences 00:44:09 – Hypnosis, subconscious reprogramming, and neural pathways 00:45:16 – Why integration work matters after breakthroughs 00:46:02 – Addiction to healing experiences vs doing the work 00:47:36 – Darin opens up about premature birth trauma 00:49:07 – Incubators, emotional separation, and early nervous system imprinting 00:50:35 – Fearful avoidant attachment explained 00:51:47 – Chaos, addiction, and hypervigilance in childhood 00:52:39 – Love becoming both comforting and terrifying 00:53:12 – Fearful avoidants as emotional "human lie detectors" 00:54:20 – Betrayal wounds, hyper-awareness, and emotional push-pull dynamics 00:55:20 – Darin reflects on growing up around alcoholism and emotional chaos 00:56:22 – "Come close… now back away": fearful avoidant patterns 00:57:02 – Overgiving, caretaking, and difficulty receiving support 00:58:13 – Why fearful avoidants crave depth, not surface-level connection 00:59:10 – Burnout from over-functioning in relationships 00:59:51 – Healing attachment wounds and changing subconscious attraction 01:00:15 – Why healing is possible through awareness and rewiring     Thank You to Our Sponsors Therasage: Go to www.therasage.com and use code DARIN at checkout for 15% off Shakeology: Get 15% off with code DARINO1BODI at Shakeology.com.     Join the SuperLife Community Get Darin's deeper wellness breakdowns — beyond social media restrictions: Weekly voice notes Ingredient deep dives Wellness challenges Energy + consciousness tools Community accountability Extended episodes Join for $7.49/month → https://patreon.com/darinolien     Find More From Thais Gibson: Website: personaldevelopmentschool.com Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool Podcast: The Thais Gibson Podcast New Book: Learning Love     Find More from Darin Olien: Instagram: @darinolien Podcast: SuperLife Podcast Website: superlife.com Book: Fatal Conveniences Follow the New Show: Roadmap to Happiness      Key Takeaway "The patterns that sabotage your relationships are not random—they are survival strategies your nervous system learned long ago. But attachment styles are not life sentences. The moment you become aware of your subconscious programming, create space between trigger and reaction, and begin rewiring those deeper wounds… you stop living from survival and start creating relationships from consciousness."  

A woman in our community wrote in and asked: "What if my lesbian sex experience doesn't live up to the hype? Does that make me not gay?"That question deserved more than a one-line answer. So Anne-Marie brought in two of her favorite humans to tell the truth — the kind of truth nobody hands you before you get here.Her wife Tonda McKay has been out for forty years and brings the long view: what the community looked like before midlife women started arriving in big numbers, and what she's watched shift since. Co-coach Barb Rowlandson came out later in life and survived midlife lesbian dating to tell the tale. Together with Anne-Marie, they go where most podcasts won't.In this episode, the three of them talk about:

A woman in our community wrote in and asked: "What if my lesbian sex experience doesn't live up to the hype? Does that make me not gay?"That question deserved more than a one-line answer. So Anne-Marie brought in two of her favorite humans to tell the truth — the kind of truth nobody hands you before you get here.Her wife Tonda McKay has been out for forty years and brings the long view: what the community looked like before midlife women started arriving in big numbers, and what she's watched shift since. Co-coach Barb Rowlandson came out later in life and survived midlife lesbian dating to tell the tale. Together with Anne-Marie, they go where most podcasts won't.In this episode, the three of them talk about:

Are you waiting for a green light that's never going to come? This week, Lesley Logan dives into the "permission gap", the space between what you actually want and the action you take, often filled with self-doubt and a perceived need for validation. Whether it's the habit of using a partner as a polite excuse to say no or constantly asking, "Does that make sense?," seeking approval is a cycle that keeps you playing small. Lesley shares how a "mean" sixth-grade teacher taught her about agency and why your language needs an audit. It's time to stop second-guessing and start owning your choices. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The "badass" lesson Lesley learned from her sixth-grade teacher.Understanding the permission gap and its roots in social conditioning.Spotting "yellow flag" phrases that signal you are seeking approval.How internalized misogyny keeps women from asserting their own agency.Reclaiming power by shifting from "can't afford" to intentional choices.Episode References/Links:The Permission Gap - https://beitpod.com/thepermissiongapWhy Women Need Permission - https://beitpod.com/whywomenneedpermissionPleasure and Permission - https://beitpod.com/right2desireEp. 241 withDr. Celeste Holbrook - https://beitpod.com/ep241Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  If you felt a lot of misogyny surrounding you, you might need to go find some really great women who can show you like you don't need to live under those rules. You don't need permission from men. You don't need anybody's permission except for your own. Lesley Logan 0:13  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:56  Hey, Be It babe. How are you? Oh my god. Welcome to our week. My solo series is going to be on permission. And this has actually come from some people on my team who were listening to the pod. It's like a permission to be, permission to become, and it made us go, like, so why do we feel like we need permission? Right? What's going on there? So this, today's episode, is going to be on like, why do we feel like we need permission? Especially for my lady listeners out there, and there's a few good men, and I think it's important that you kind of, I think you should listen to this, because I think it's important you might understand, like, why we are the way we are. It just makes you a better human, right? And then on Thursday, instead of a recap episode, it's actually going to be on, how do we stop second guessing ourselves, so that we're we're not needing to ask permission, because we're not second guessing ourselves, right? So in doing this research, I found some really great resources. And so we'll also have links to my sources in the episode show notes. But I just kind of was thinking about this place. So I remember, in the sixth grade, I had a teacher. Her name is Mrs. Scott. She had lots of plans. It was a great was a great classroom. She looked a little scary. I'm not gonna lie, like, who's older? I've been teaching for like, 40 years, by the time I got there and she said, you can't ask can I go to the bathroom with me? In fact, if you ever say can I do something, I'm going to ask you. I don't know, can you? And I remember thinking, like, what a stickler. Why is she so mean? And now, as I was researching this episode, I was like, what a fucking badass she was. Like, how cool that she was making sure that as a sixth grader, we are understanding that we could go to the bathroom on our own. We didn't need to ask permission if we could go to the bathroom, we need to ask permission to leave. Like, the question was actually like, may I go to the bathroom, is what she wanted us to understand. So like, may I do X, Y and Z, because she's like, you are completely capable of doing these things. And so it's really interesting how in our lives, especially as when we learn by looking at people's facial expressions and emotions, the sound in their voice, we're seeking out permission, right? Like, oh, is it safe to be here? Is it safe do these things? Am I safe to do this? And then because of that, it also just starts to roll into all the things that we do on a daily basis. And so we start finding ourselves, like asking permission for a lot of things. And so in the research I was doing, there are some really great anecdotal stories of people in the author's lives who used to be like their parent or role model, and then how that shifted to them asking permission as well. And I just found it really interesting how easy it is for that to become some sort of like, habit's the wrong word, but just like, maybe it's the right word, but just because part of our daily life. And you know, I used to work in retail before, as a Pilates instructor and even as a Pilates instructor I would hear this thing where people would go, mostly women, I need to ask my husband, I need to ask my partner, I need to ask my spouse. And it was interesting, because most of these people were not like housewives who had no job, and this was not their income. And by the way, like it's another conversation. But also, you know, if you are the house manager, you are allowing the person who's making that money to be able to make that money, because you're making their life so much easier. They don't have to do all these things. But that's a different story. But these are women who like brought income in as well. And so it was just really interesting to me. And I will say, whenever I say I need to ask my husband, is because I actually haven't made a decision and or I'm trying to nicely say no to you, but I don't want to say no yet, so I will say I it's a nice phrase to use, but I just remember thinking like, do they have to ask? Is this something they're asking permission for? They really love it. I remember them like loving how they looked in a purse or a necklace, like, just absolutely loving it, and then asking, like, hey, what do you think? And then that person going, I think you can look better in this. And then just, like, not getting the thing they want and getting the other thing. And I just remember going, oh, this is going to not be used, or it's going to be returned, because they really want the other thing, right? And so at any rate, why is this happening? Why are these women mostly asking for permission to be, to like, to desire, to have to own so let's get into it. Lesley Logan 5:08  First, these are some questions that I thought would be fun for you to journal about, post, ponder on this week. What leads me to seek social approval before making a decision? Is it a personality trait? Could it be a lack of self-esteem, or is biology a factor? So I kind of thought that that would be fun for you to think about for your own personal thing, like, do you feel a tendency to seek approval, social approval before making a decision? Is it part of your personality? Do you think it's because you're not sure about trusting yourself, or is it is biology a factor? So there's something that's going to come up in this topic as well, and in the research, it talks about permission gap. And so permission gap is a phenomenon stemming from socialization that emphasizes the caretaking and prioritizing others' needs over personal desires. So basically, we tend to think that we need to ask if we can do something, or before we do something, seek out permission or approval because we believe or feel we should be putting other people's needs before our own needs and our own desires. And so if we're going to do something that could be something that's more for ourselves, prioritizing ourselves first, then we feel like we need permission, like, hey, can I do this thing? I'll say, just before I hit record, Brad and I were redoing the schedule, and we are recording a podcast tomorrow night, when we'd normally be at the gym. And I didn't say, hey, can I go to the gym in the morning? He normally goes to the gym with me on Wednesday nights. Didn't go, hey, can I go in the gym in the morning? I just said, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym in the morning, right? And I was like, that could be taken as rude. I can see how some people would think that is rude. But also, like, he knows that getting my Wednesday workout in is a priority for me. With a very, very busy schedule, there's no other place we can move it. And I hope he knows. I'd love for him to come. But I also know he's not gonna get up at seven in the morning. He's not gonna do it. That's what we do it on Wednesday nights. So I will say I do understand that sometimes some of the things that I say or do can sound a little rude to people on the outside. And so I can understand why sometimes we use permission as a way asking permission as a way to just like, be thoughtful. But I do think it's important to know that you're doing what you're doing, otherwise you are living in this permission gap, this phenomenon stemming from socialization that emphasizes the caretaking and prioritizing of other needs and, others' needs and over our personal desires. So maybe you don't think you need permission, that's also possible. Hopefully that's true. But I also just wanted to bring up some phrases that you might be saying or thinking that could actually be like a, like a, like a yellow flag that you're asking for permission, which is, like, have you ever said, I've always wanted to blank, like, I've always wanted to go on a trip by myself. I've always wanted to learn how to do X, Y and Z. I've always wanted to try that. I've always wanted to buy that. I've always wanted to explore this. I've always wanted to if that is something that you are pondering, then somewhere along the way, you either didn't ask or didn't feel like you had permission to do the thing, right? And sometimes it means, like you just didn't have the time or the money at the time, that that's also true. But like, if you've always wanted to go back and get a doctorate, what is stopping you? Is it social approval? Okay, then we need to look at that. You know. Is it lack of self-esteem? We need to look at that. Is it a biology factor like, or is it like, hey, lack of time and money right now? But also, is it lack of time and money because we're giving it to other people and prioritizing their needs over ours? Is it? Have you ever said I stopped myself because. I stopped myself from buying that thing, from doing that thing, I, from trying that thing, from signing up for that thing. I stopped myself because. You know, I have a lot of friends and family who, I hear them say, like, oh, I was gonna do that, but I didn't because. And it's usually because of somebody else. Someone else was coming to town, someone else was doing this. A lot of people who want to be more consistent in Pilates, but they aren't, because there's always so many things coming up. I mean, like, literally, my schedule is never the same week to week. It is not possible. So I literally had to say to the team between I don't do anything before 9:15 am and I am done with my day at 4:30 you have to fit everything into that, because I need to know that I can before 9:15 and after 4:30 I can do whatever I need to do, right? I need to know that. So it's really, really important that you're just kind of taking notice, do a little audit about what you're saying, about what you're not doing that you didn't do. Now, look, if you didn't want to do it, then don't do it. You don't even need permission from me to do that, right?Lesley Logan 9:39  Or do you ever feel you need someone to tell you it's going to be okay? Like, do you seek support because maybe you think your idea or how you're feeling is crazy? Are you secretly wanting someone to stop you? Like, are you asking permission because actually you are secretly wanting someone to stop you from doing it? Right? So I thought this was really funny when I was like researching for this, so I remember, I can, I can tell you where I was in LA, driving my car when the woman who taught me Pilates, her name is Julie, she's my first Pilates instructor in LA, when she taught me Pilates, I could barely afford it, so I was going every other week for a duet, and then I was doing as much as I could remember, on the mat at home, in between, and eventually I was able to afford a weekly duet, which is very was a challenge for me but I was able to do it, and I had this like inkling, I was like, I wonder, I wonder if I could learn how to teach the mat work, and then I could teach it at her studio, and that could pay for my Pilates sessions. And I remember like, being on a call with her, and she's talking about, like, buying the studio from the other owner, and she's really excited, and like, what that means. And I was like, um, you think, like, it's gonna it'd be okay if I, like, like, taught mat classes? And then she said, oh my god, Lesley, you need to become a teacher, like, but I remember needing at that time, the Lesley at that time, needed permission to become a Pilates instructor, because I honestly thought I was a little bit crazy. Part of me maybe wanted me to for them to talk to stop me, like before, I invested in something I couldn't afford, right? But, like, I definitely was asking permission to belong in the Pilates teaching community at that time, because I went to school for communications, right? So I definitely know that there's parts of my life that was, I was absolutely asking for permission, especially the younger me, especially the way, and I'll tell you, you'll see why, because I'm going to go over some primary reasons why we're asking for permission. But like, you know, obviously, the more comp you get, the more you do things, the less you feel like you need approval from others. And I do think that after 40, like, there are certain fucks that go away. And then I've heard after 50, even you have even less fucks to give. But like, hopefully, right? Hopefully, we have future versions of us that ask for less permission. But I remember that Lesley, I think that was, was in 2007 and I did my first training in 2008 so you know that how old was I then, oh my god, like 25 right? So anyways, like I remember needing needing approval and permission to make that leap. Lesley Logan 12:09  So let's go into some primary reasons why, and just see which ones of these resonate with you. So societal conditioning and gender roles. From a young age, many women are taught to be nurturing and pleasing, often prioritizing family and partners over their own ambitions or needs. The social conditioning makes pursuing more feel selfish or unnatural. This for sure, I'm definitely, I'm the oldest child. I definitely took care of my siblings. I remember one of the times I got in trouble I didn't do one of the chores that I was assigned, but that chore couldn't get done unless my siblings had done their chores. And so because they hadn't done their chores, I couldn't do mine. So I did this other thing that I wanted to do. I read the book. I loved, loved to read. I got in so much trouble because, like, I should have made sure they got their chores done, right? And so just remembering these things when you're a child these different things, it's societal condition. Now, are my parents assholes? No, of course not. They're just being parents, doing the best they can, and making mistakes along the way. But it's interesting how we pick up on things like, oh, well, I better not read for myself next time, because I should be making sure they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. Okay, next example, the good woman, ideal and guilt. There's a lingering cultural narrative that suggests women should be grateful for what they have, leading to the feelings of guilt or shame when they desire more. And this is a really interesting right? Like, you can see it in lots of different things, like the time I'm recording this, you know, I watched the women's hockey team for the Olympics like win gold, and also, by the way, that women's hockey has not been in the Olympics, and since, you know, it's only been there since the 90s, and then since then, like we've medaled so much, medaled as much as the men, in a much shorter period of time, right? And when you look at how women's sports are supported, they're supported United States because of Title IX, which means that money has to be invested in women's sports if there's men's sports. And so it means that, you know, on subconscious levels, like everything that we're wanting is because of somebody else so we should be so grateful. We should be so thankful. And when women do often ask for more, they're often told, like, people label them like terrible things, like she's money hungry, or she's, you know, what is? What they call people who like climb the ladder or like and they take other they seem people as like they're taking people down, but they don't say the same thing about a man doing the same thing, right? So we we learn to be what a good woman is, and should be just grateful that we have that. Another reason why you might be asking for permission is fear of judgment. Women often fear being perceived as demanding, selfish or too much when they vocalize their desires. This stems from a culture that often judges women who step outside traditional roles. 100% I think we could all remember an example of either ourselves or someone we know who did something and somebody said something about them. Sometimes they're often compared to another woman who didn't do that thing. And it's like, well, she didn't do it, and so now they're pinning women against women. And of course, you're like, well, I guess when you compare those two, then she is too selfish. But like, is she? Is she? Do they do that with men? Lesley Logan 15:16  Lack of representation. A lack of role models who are unapologetic about their desires, can make women feel that they need to wait for approval, validation or the right time, the right time. Oh, we just got to wait for the right time. You know, like, no, I don't remember anybody, any male in my life, cousins, brother, being told to, like, wait for the right time. Oh, go get it. Why don't you go get it. Why don't you go talk to them? Why don't you go put yourself out there, right? Oh, Lesley, be careful. You don't want to talk too much. Oh, you don't want to be too loud. Yeah. So this is the permission gap. So this is the space between what a woman wants and what she actually does, often filled with self-doubt and the belief that someone else needs to validate her worth. So, space between what a woman wants and what she actually does. She wants to go back to school, but she stays home to care for everybody, because asking for help or asking for people in her community to take Tuesdays and she'll take Wednesdays. Well, who? Why would she be able to do that? Who is she? Is she selfish? Right? Need for safety and responsiveness. In sexual relational context, women often need to feel safe and emotionally connected to access their desires, because they may not feel comfortable acting on their own. They may wait for a partner to initiate or create the right conditions. So this one I put in there, I just wanted to keep it because permission to be often, when you do research, you'll see that there's a lot of permission to feel worthy, permission to be able to fill their desires. Desires can be sexual, but also you could just desire to have a better life, right? Desire means a lot of different things, but I will say, if you are having any like not having to understand what you truly desire when it comes to sexual needs, please look at our episodes with Dr. Celeste Holbrook and please read her book, especially those who are raised in the church and purity culture being kind, even if your parents weren't super serious about it, there are definitely things we could talk about, and permission to feel desirable if you were at all raised around purity culture in any way. Lesley Logan 17:22  All right, last one or primary reasons why you might feel like you need permission. Internalized misogyny, a patriarchal culture that often devalues female desires, can lead to women minimizing their own needs, which in turn fuels a need for external permission to assert their own agency. I think we all know some women have internalized misogyny. I can think of a bunch of women in our political government right now, and it's annoying, because, okay, well, great, you're a pick me girl, like you're in but you think they're going to care for you. You think they're going to take care of you? No. You think that when you have an idea it's going to be used? No. You're gonna have to push it through some other male, right? So, like, internalized misogyny is something that honestly can happen without your own decision, right? Because it happens because of society. It happens because of the patriarchal culture. And so unless you can get yourself out of that situation, you might not even see what you're doing. And so I highly recommend, if you have you felt a lot of misogyny surrounding you, you might need to go find some really great women who can show you like you don't need to live under those rules. You don't need permission from men. You don't need anybody's permission except for your own. But let's be real, that is harder to do. That's what we're gonna talk about, episode two, we're gonna definitely get into how to stop second guessing yourself, because just saying, okay, here's all these things. This is why it's so hard for us, this is so hard for you to not ask for permission. Doesn't mean you're just be able to ask for, like, stop asking for permission. These are habits you have. These are things you say, like, you automatically will say when something's expensive, say I can't afford that instead of saying, oh, I'm not investing in that right now, that is something I'm really, really proud of, like, how I changed my tune on that, instead of when something was more like, is more money that I have, instead of saying I can't afford that, I'm not investing in that right now, or that's more than I want to invest in that project, or that's more than I want to invest in that thing right now. All of that makes it a choice versus I'm a victim. I can't afford it right now, right? It means I'm not asking for permission to buy something. I'm asking I'm stating why I'm not buying the thing. I don't need the permission. So it takes time. So just being mindful, and I think having the awareness first and foremost, of like, the things that you're saying, the things that you're doing, just take a notice, like, maybe this week, what you're noticing is like, how often am I asking for permission, if I look good, or if this works, or if that makes sense? You know, another thing I've been working on for the last couple of years, because I heard a female CEO say this, she said, instead of saying, does that make sense? Because that's like asking permission. Did I do a good job explaining that to you? She'll say, do you have any clarifying question for me? So that way she is stating, I know I said everything you just say in the right order, in the right way, but do you have any clarifying questions that is giving them the space to ask what they need and take assertiveness, and also you're holding yourself in a space of like, I did a really great job. Oh, your questions are okay. I can see where I missed out on that. We don't need to ask permission. Does that make sense? Right? So that's something I've been really trying to work on. Lesley Logan 20:09  So, all right, here are some other things, other signs that you might be asking for permission. Have you ever talked yourself out of something because someone else might not like it? You might not be liked, it'll be difficult, you have a fear of judgment, fear people will think you're crazy. Definitely, I have asked for permission in my past because I do a lot of weird, crazy stuff, and I'm like, I'm recognizing that, and now people just know I'm a little crazy, so that's fine, but it takes some time to get your confidence up, right? That like it's okay to be crazy. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something because someone in your life wouldn't approve? You're afraid to look silly. You won't belong. You'll upset someone. The cost, you don't feel worthy. They might say no, so you're saying no first, and then you don't want to fail, right? Fear of failure. Then it sounds like you're in a state where you feel you need permission, and you're in that permission gap. So how do we close it? Well, I think first of all, awareness is important. I think we can't close any gap without actually noticing, like, where is this permission habit coming from? Who do we learn it from? Who do we observe it from? Not to go blame them, but just so you can, kind of, like, take the control back and realize what's going on and just notice that when you're doing it, and also those dear, amazing friends that you have, like, perhaps we need to, like, say, hey, here's what I noticed about myself. I notice that I ask like, what do you think? Instead of asking, like, tell me what your excited thoughts are, and then maybe what are some concerns you have? Like, that would be fine, because now you're asking them to, like, point out pros and cons. But just like, what do you think? Especially because a lot of us as people who never think anything good will happen to us, you know, we have those family members. We've had so many guests on the on the Be It Pod, talk about like, make sure that you're aware of who you're telling your ideas to, right? Because if you're telling your amazing ideas to people who will never believe in something possible, you're going to be, basically asking permission from people who are never going to give it. Just want you to notice what your habits are, what parts of you are feeling that permission need. Yeah, and then on Thursday, we're going to talk about how to close that gap, how to trust yourself, how to give yourself permission. That will be our episode on Thursday. So I'd love to hear how you're liking these topics. If you have topics that you're wanting me to address, you can actually send it into the beitpod.com/questions to say, hey, episode topic, and we'll put in the lineup. We're still gonna have the interviews, we're still gonna have the recaps, but we thought it'd be fun to basically, in between some of these interviews, do some of these solo episodes on some topics that maybe we could just dive a little bit deeper, that sometimes it doesn't happen in an interview because the conversation goes a different way. So thank you so much. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 22:57  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 23:40  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 23:45  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 23:49  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 23:56  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 24:00  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 24:13  So internalized misogyny, a patriarchal cultural, a patriarchal. What a shitty word. I can't even say it. A patriarchal culture that often values. Oh my lord on high. What bloopers? Let's keep them in at the end.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Vlad Khaykin is the Head of North American Advocacy for the Simon Wiesenthal Center (and a former ADL veteran). He approaches antisemitism the way a scientist approaches a virus: studying its architecture, its mutations, and why it keeps infecting new hosts across centuries. This is an episode where you'll learn a tremendous amount about antisemitism's latest "mutation" - Anti-Zionism. Anti-Zionism isn't an abstract debate — it's an ideology with a body count, and millions of living Jews can tell you exactly what it looks like when it wins. Vlad also makes the case that internalized antisemitism is one of the most pressing problems facing the Jews today. Connect with Vlad Khaykin on LinkedIn or Instagram @vkhaykin , and learn about the instrumental work of Simon Wiesenthal Center at https://wiesenthal.org/Support our work: buymeacoffee.com/peoplejewwannaknowWhat We Discuss:00:00 Intro & Episode Agenda03:45 Vlad's path from Soviet refugee to advocacy leader07:20 What anti-Zionism actually did to Jewish communities12:15 How the Soviets weaponized antisemitism18:30 Antisemitism as an explanatory model, not a prejudice24:10 There is no panacea for antisemitism31:00 The Zionism terminology wars36:45 Internalized antisemitism and the doll test parallel44:20 The cost vs. value of being Jewish49:30 Closing Remarks & Guest Nomination

The idea of hitting a plateau feels real—but according to Dr. Joseph, most growth ceilings aren't real at all. They're constructed. Understanding growth ceiling systems means recognizing that what feels like a business limitation is often a mental and behavioral system constraint. About Dr. Joseph Drolshagen Dr. Joseph Drolshagen is a business growth strategist and creator of the SMT Method™ (Subconscious Monetization Technology™), a framework designed to help entrepreneurs break through plateaus by reprogramming subconscious limitations. With a Doctorate in Psychology and over 30 years of experience—including a career as a VP of Sales—he combines mindset and strategy to help business owners scale faster and more effectively. He is the author of multiple books on growth, mindset, and transformation, and is known for delivering high-energy, practical insights that drive real results. Social: Facebook / Twitter / X / Pinterest / Youtube / Instagram / LinkedIn Website: Joseph Drolshagen's Website The Truth About Growth Ceiling Systems In the episode, Dr. Joseph made a bold claim: There is no actual ceiling—only a perceived one. What creates that ceiling? Beliefs about capability Past experiences Internalized limitations These form a system that governs decisions. Insight: Your business grows to the level your internal systems allow. How Subconscious Programming Shapes Outcomes Growth ceilings are not operational—they're cognitive. Developers often assume: More effort = more results Better tools = better outcomes But the transcript highlights that subconscious programming dictates behavior, which then dictates results. That programming shows up as: Risk avoidance Imposter syndrome Overthinking decisions Imposter Syndrome as a System Constraint Imposter syndrome isn't just a feeling—it's part of a system. It reinforces the idea that: You don't belong at the next level You're not ready for bigger opportunities This creates a loop: You hesitate You avoid opportunities Growth slows Doubt increases Warning: Left unchecked, this becomes a self-reinforcing system. Why One Problem Feels Like Everything A powerful example from the episode involved a developer stuck on a single misaligned client. The belief: "I need to fix this before I can grow." The reality: That belief creates a system where all energy funnels into one bottleneck. This is a systems failure—not a resource issue. Breaking Growth Ceiling Systems To break the ceiling, you don't need new tactics—you need new operating assumptions. Dr. Joseph reframed the situation: You are not limited to one client You can grow while solving problems Constraints are often self-imposed Action: Identify one belief that is limiting your current growth—and challenge it directly. Layered Growth and System Expansion Growth doesn't happen once—it happens in layers. As described in the transcript: Each level introduces new internal resistance Each level requires system adjustment Each breakthrough exposes another constraint   This explains why success can feel temporary. Conclusion: Fix the System, Not the Symptoms The biggest mistake developers make is trying to fix outcomes instead of systems. Revenue problems, client issues, and stalled growth are often symptoms. The real issue is the system driving decisions. Change the system—and the results follow. Stay Connected: Join the Developreneur Community

A career in surgery has a profound impact on those who practice the craft. High rates of poor mental health are well described but incompletely understood. One potential mechanism for advancing our understanding of surgeon well-being is studying surgeons' emotional experiences. Shame, a self-conscious emotion reflecting how an individual feels about themselves, could be a particularly powerful lens. In this series on shame in surgery, we explore what we know about shame in surgery and what shame can tell us about learning and working as surgeons.In this third episode, we talk with Drs. Sheina Theodore and Tejal Brahmbhatt about their study examining the relationship between internalized shame states and burnout among surgery residents. They make a compelling case that addressing the well-being crisis in surgery requires looking beyond external stressors to the internal experience of shame: the quiet, invisible voice that tells residents they aren't good enough, and ask what role the culture of surgery plays in that internal monologue. Host: Steven ThorntonGuests:1.    Sheina Theodore (Assistant Professor of Surgery, Boston University)2.    Tejal Brahmbhatt (Associate Professor of Surgery, Cedars Sinai Medical Center) Publications Discussed:1.    Smith SM, Kobzeva-Herzog A, McGillen P, Castagne-Charlotin M, Davies J, Sanchez SE, Dechert T, Brahmbhatt TS, Theodore S. Internalized Shame Experiences and Burnout in General Surgery Residents. J Surg Educ. 2025 Apr;82(4):103447. doi: 10.1016/j.jsurg.2025.103447. Epub 2025 Feb 6. PMID: 39919584. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39919584/***Fellowship Application Link: https://forms.gle/QSUrR2GWHDZ1MmWC6Please visit https://behindtheknife.org to access other high-yield surgical education podcasts, videos and more.  If you liked this episode, check out our recent episodes here: https://behindtheknife.org/listenBehind the Knife Premium:General Surgery Oral Board Review Course: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/general-surgery-oral-board-reviewOral Board Simulator: https://app.behindtheknife.org/oral-board-simulatorTrauma Surgery Video Atlas: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/trauma-surgery-video-atlasDominate Surgery: A High-Yield Guide to Your Surgery Clerkship: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/dominate-surgery-a-high-yield-guide-to-your-surgery-clerkshipDominate Surgery for APPs: A High-Yield Guide to Your Surgery Rotation: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/dominate-surgery-for-apps-a-high-yield-guide-to-your-surgery-rotationVascular Surgery Oral Board Review Course: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/vascular-surgery-oral-board-audio-reviewColorectal Surgery Oral Board Review Course: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/colorectal-surgery-oral-board-audio-reviewSurgical Oncology Oral Board Review Course: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/surgical-oncology-oral-board-audio-reviewCardiothoracic Oral Board Review Course: https://behindtheknife.org/premium/cardiothoracic-surgery-oral-board-audio-reviewDownload our App:Apple App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/behind-the-knife/id1672420049Android/Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.btk.app&hl=en_US

In episode 73, Alex and Karly welcome Patrick Casale onto the pod! Patrick Casale, MA LCMHCOwner of All Things Private Practice LLC & Resilient Mind Counseling PLLCTEDx Speaker| Author| Therapist | Podcast Host x 2 | Business Coach | Group Practice Owner | Retreat HostPatrick Casale is an AuDHD, 2e mental health therapist, Neurodivergent business coach, and prolific TEDx Speaker. He leads international retreats, summits, and coaching programs, helping entrepreneurs work through impostor syndrome, self-doubt, and perfectionism, while embracing their authenticity. He has coined the phrase, Doubt Yourself Do It Anyway TMHe is the founder of All Things Private Practice LLC, and the host of the “All Things Private Practice Podcast, and the co-host of Divergent Conversations Podcast.” Patrick also owns a group therapy practice in Asheville, NC. With experience in both the clinical mental health world and the small business world, he has helped hundreds of thousands of mental health professionals around the world start and grow their businesses while staying aligned to their values and dreams.Patrick lives in Asheville, NC with his wife Ariel and his two dogs, Hudson and Hazel. He loves to travel, Lord Of The Rings, Anthony Bourdain, Capybaras, great cold brew coffee, and craft beer.Connect with Patrick: Instagram: @patrick.casaleTikTok: @patrickcasaleYouTube: @AllThingsPrivatePracticeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pat.casale/?locale=en_GBWebsite: https://www.allthingspractice.com/ Atppod.com Connect with us to share your stories, to join the community, or are in need of peer support-Email: pod.thespecialinterest@gmail.comTo be a guest: guest.thespecialinterestpod@gmail.comIG: @thespecialinterestpod Join our Patreon: All tiers get access to monthly zoom events ~ patreon.com/TheSpecialInterestPodcastDiscord: https://discord.gg/vn6RGPdqrTNeed extra support? Contact us about 1:1 coaching!New episodes biweeklyCredit:Music+ Audio:Peter FilippiShout out to our awesome team for all their support!

When a gay man says he's attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story? In this episode, we unpack one of the most volatile conversations in the gay community. We explore what people actually mean when they say “masculine,” the masc and fem archetypes that shape gay culture, and how social conditioning around masculinity and femininity can influence attraction and identity. Most importantly, we tackle the question at the center of the debate: where is the line between genuine preference and internalized bias? In this episode we discuss: What people really mean when they say “masculine” Masculine and feminine archetypes  How conditioning around masculinity shapes attraction What internalized homophobia can look like in everyday life The difference between preference and hierarchy Where the line may exist between preference and prejudice Join us for a nuanced conversation about masculinity, attraction, and the cultural forces that shape how gay men see themselves and each other. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your... Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep(00:01:00) - Gay Men's Issues With Masculinity(00:03:16) - What is Internalized Homophobia?(00:05:26) - Are You Attracted To Masculine Men?(00:10:26) - Tom Brokaw on Masculinity(00:11:40) - Masculinity and the Gay Community(00:14:31) - On Masculinity and Sexuality(00:17:39) - Gayman's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:18:29) - Internalized Homophobia(00:23:06) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Femininity and Gay Life(00:29:44) - Queens Talk About Their Gay Culture(00:32:15) - Outing My Own Phobia(00:36:08) - Gay Men Go Deep Coaching(00:36:50) - Where Is the Line Between Real Sexual Desire and Internalized Homophobia(00:39:58) - I Used To Be Attracted To Performative Masculinity(00:45:24) - Reno On Gay Men's Sexualities(00:49:08) - Blind Dating on Grindr(00:50:14) - A Very Long Goodbye

Mariann Aalda—actor, hypnotherapist, and joyful “pro-aging evangelist”—invites us to rethink what it means to grow older. She interrogates ageism, asking“ Why should youth get all the good press?” And declares, “My vibrancy and vitality are due to my being Age-full, not Youth-full!” Drawing on a 30-year television career and her work in hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic programming (NLP), Mariann explores how language shapes our inner lives—“the words we use become internalized and we behave accordingly.” Today, through stand-up and solo performance, she shares her authentic self with candor and humor, encouraging women to pursue their dreams and “use our time wisely with curiosity, creativity, and joy.”“I'm not an older version of myself—I'm the Newest Model.” - Mariann AaldaConnect with MariannEmail: mariannaalda@aol.comAging Shamelessly https://www.mariannaaldainherprime.com ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSOur Sponsor: Plymouth Place in LaGrange Park, IL. has redefined senior living with options and opportunities to fit individual needs and preferences. From well-designed residences to fitness and wellness classes to social gatherings, arts experiences and care services – this is a place to thrive. As an entrance-fee based Life Plan community, Plymouth Place offers a full continuum of care including residential living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing and rehab – all conveniently on one campus. www.Plymouthplace.orgAge-Wise Collective: Women Over 70-Aging Reimagined connects with other women podcasters to shine the light on remarkable women in mid-life and beyond.We recognize Jane Leder, host of Older Women and Friends: Stories of Aging Well, whose guests take a deep dive into the joys and challenges of being an older woman. Older women know a thing or two about living with a keen sense of wonder and an abiding appreciation for the gift of longevity. The second wave of the journey has just begun. https://janeleder.nethttps://www.youtube.com/@olderwomenandfriendshttps://www.instagram.com/older_women_and_friends_/

Sometimes, "“I feel shame” comes to mean “I am shameful, deficient in some vital way as a human being.” Shame is no longer one feeling among many, but comes to constitute the core of oneself. Internalized shame creates a frozen state of being. Shame is no longer an emotional signal that comes and goes. It is a deep, abiding, all-pervasive sense of being defective as a person. This core of defectiveness forms the foundation around which other feelings about the self will be experienced. Gradually, over a period of time, this frozen feeling of belief recedes from consciousness. In this way shame becomes basic to one's sense of identity. One becomes a shame-based person." - John Bradshaw John Bradshaw's website.Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today I sit down with Dr. Nicole Butts, best-selling and award-winning author, speaker, and organizational culture strategist and expert, whose new book is SHIFT: A Transformational Journey from Playing Small to Unapologetically Thriving. This conversation is a masterclass in what happens when high-achieving leaders (especially women) finally stop outsourcing their worth to other people's approval—and start leading from alignment. Nicole opens up about something almost every great leader experiences, but few say out loud: that moment right before a big opportunity where the old story shows up—I'm not worthy. I don't belong here. She literally started drafting me an email to back out… and then caught herself in the act. That “shrinkage story” (her words) became the doorway into the deeper work—and the reason she wrote SHIFT. We go into: why powerful women still play small in male-dominated systems (and how it shows up in everyday language), how “worker bee syndrome” keeps people doing everything… except being seen as a leader, and Nicole's core equation for transformation: consciousness + courage = transformation. If you've ever felt like your work should “speak for itself,” this episode will challenge you—in the best way.   What You'll Hear in This Episode   1) The real reason accomplished women still shrink   Nicole breaks it down into three forces: Cultural conditioning: being taught to be “likable,” defer, and not take up space—showing up as hedging language like “I'm not really sure, but…” Structural dynamics: being outnumbered (especially for women of color), which changes how safe it feels to be visible. Internalized stories: “If I just do a really good job and keep my head down, they'll notice.” Nicole is clear: that's not reliably true.   2) “Worker bee syndrome” and the promotion you never get   I share a pattern I see constantly: the whole department rides on someone's back… and then they're shocked when they're passed up. Why? Because leadership isn't only output—leadership is visibility, positioning, and presence. I call it “leadership me time”—stepping back from nonstop doing so people can actually see you leading. Nicole agrees and names it “reactive doing”—being busy, carrying everything, but not intentionally showing up as the leader. And then she drops a line I want you to remember: “By design, the work isn't the leader. You are the leader.”   3) The SHIFT framework: a roadmap out of “playing small”   Nicole shares the backbone of her book as an acronym: S — Set your North Star H — Here I — Illustrate your path forward F — Forge ahead T — Thrive And she didn't just write a roadmap—she made it real. After each step, she includes a section called “Follow My Journey” where she shows how she personally moved through that step.   4) The inner equation for leadership: consciousness + courage   Nicole explains why transformation requires two things: Consciousness (awareness): noticing the old pattern in real time so you can interrupt it. Courage: taking aligned action even with fear present—like deleting the email draft and saying yes to the opportunity instead.   Her distinction is sharp: Awareness sets the course. Courage fuels the journey.   Try This After You Listen (Practical Actions)   Audit your language for “softeners.” If you regularly start with “I'm not sure, but…” practice leading with the point first. Schedule “leadership me time." Block time weekly to think, plan, mentor, and communicate—not just execute—so you're seen leading, not only producing. Name your shrinkage story. When it shows up, don't argue with it—notice it. That awareness creates choice. Choose one aligned action you'll take while still nervous. That's courage—aligned action in the presence of fear.   Resources + Links Dr. Nicole Butts (website + books): NicoleButts.com Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn Book: SHIFT: A Transformational Journey from Playing Small to Unapologetically Thriving   About Dr. Nicole Butts Dr. Nicole Butts is a best-selling and award-winning author, speaker, and organizational culture strategist who helps individuals and institutions unlock transformation.   -----   If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a 5-star rating, write a few kind words about the show and our guest, and share it with someone who's ready to stop shrinking and start leading. --------John Bates provides 1:1 Executive Communications Coaching, both in-person and online. He also gets 92+ Net Promoter Scores for his large and small group leadership development trainings at organizations like Johnson & Johnson, NASA, Google, Intuit, Boston Scientific, and many more. Find more at https://executivespeakingsuccess.com.Sign up for his weekly micro-trainings for free at https://johnbates.com/mini-trainings and create a great leadership communications habit that makes you the kind of leader who inspires trust, loyalty, and connection.

In this solo episode, Lisa takes a deeper, more personal look at the internalized male gaze, embodied safety, and what intentional weight loss can mean through a trauma‑informed lens. She starts with a gentle check‑in about having too much coffee and uses that moment to explore the feelings she pushed aside and how choosing connection helped her regulate instead of leaning on old coping habits. From there, she talks about how denial, dissociation, and building her self‑worth outside of appearance shaped the way she handled body‑based judgments, while also being honest about the real social changes she noticed after losing weight. She reads from a 2014 essay that traces her shift from denial to hyper‑awareness, the cultural experiences that challenged Western beauty standards, and the toll perfectionism took on her. To wrap up, Lisa introduces the ideas of egosyntonic and egodystonic thoughts to help listeners understand those inner conflicts around body‑focused thinking, highlighting awareness, space, and embodied safety as key parts of healing.Topics Include:Internalized Male GazeEmbodied SafetySocial DynamicsEgosyntonic vs. Egodystonic Thoughts[0:32] Lisa begins by noticing she crossed her personal limit on coffee, practicing non-judgmental, compassionate curiosity about the behavior. She connects over-caffeination to an anxiety-provoking event she suppressed due to context, illustrating how coping can mask root emotions. She identifies her need for connection and support rather than substances and texts her best friend to schedule a call to process the event together.[10:50] Lisa introduces the concept "trauma work is slow," explaining that healing from chronic societal trauma is a gradual process unlike a diet. She clarifies her stance on others' judgment of her body, explaining that she built her self-worth on character, not appearance, as a defense mechanism when she was in a larger body. She acknowledges that losing weight made it safer to engage with social constructs.[37:35] Lisa reads an essay she wrote in 2014 during Semester at Sea, a period that served as intense exposure therapy for her eating disorder following her significant weight loss and tummy tuck. The essay details her 150-pound weight loss journey, which was initially prompted by physical pain and practical difficulties.[1:07:50] Post-weight loss, Lisa realized her happiness stemmed from societal validation, not self-acceptance, leading to an obsessive cycle of never feeling good enough. After reading the essay, Lisa explains the weight loss journey woke her up from a state of being disconnected from her body, a profound psychological shift that is the origin of Out of the Cave.[1:11:56] Lisa introduces the psychological concepts of egosyntonic (behaviors in harmony with one's self-image) and egodystonic (behaviors conflicting with one's self-concept). She explains that her own compulsive thoughts about bodies post-weight loss felt intensely egodystonic, which was a positive factor in her healing as it allowed her to separate herself from those thoughts. [1:20:22] Lisa wraps this episode by encouraging listeners to examine if their body image thoughts are egosyntonic or egodystonic, noting that recognizing these thoughts as conditioned can create distance and aid healing. She notes this is the second episode on the topic and a third will follow to bring all the concepts together.*The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.Embody Peace With Food: A Revolutionary Holistic Approach - Omega Institute: July 12-17, 2026LISA IS NOW ACCEPTING: One-on-One Clients!⁠Purchase the OOTC book of 50 Journal Prompts⁠⁠Leave Questions and Feedback for Lisa via OOTC Pod Feedback Form ⁠Email Lisa: ⁠lisa@lisaschlosberg.com⁠⁠Out of the Cave Merch⁠ - For 10% off use code SCHLOS10Lisa's Socials: Instagram⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠

In this chapter, Lisa explores how body image, trauma, and the internalized outsider gaze pull us out of our bodies and into self‑objectification. She unpacks how fat phobia, the male gaze, and chronic shallow breathing keep the nervous system in fight‑or‑flight, blocking sustainable change. Drawing on somatic research and her own history of dissociation as protection, Lisa shows why healing begins with coming back inside through breath and interoceptive awareness. The episode closes with a grounding practice to shift from “How do I look” to “How do I feel,” the first step toward embodied change. Topics Include:Nervous System SafetyBreathwork for SafetyInternalized Outsider GazeComing Home to the Body[0:20] Lisa begins the episode by announcing that registration for the next OOTC Retreat at the Omega Institute scheduled for July 12–17, 2026 is open. Lisa apologizes for the potentially lower sound quality as she is traveling and recording without her microphone. She frames this as a deliberate choice to prioritize "messy action" and consistency over perfection. [4:50] Revisiting the “Devil's Snare” metaphor, Lisa emphasizes that healing isn't about pushing harder—it's about learning how to breathe and soften back into the body. She introduces a quote taught by Caroline Lee Dewey: "We don't learn how to push. We learn how to breathe." Highlighting that healing and coming back into one's body is about breathing and release, not pushing and control.[8:08] Lisa examines how internalized fear of fatness often shows up as shallow breathing, especially discomfort with the belly expanding during a deep, diaphragmatic inhale. She explains that feeling safe in one's body is presented as a necessary prerequisite for intentional and sustainable weight loss. If a person's breathing pattern is constantly signaling danger, it undermines the foundation required for healthy, lasting change.[18:42] Citing somatic therapist Ailey Jolie from Instagram, Lisa explains the internalized male gaze and that internalized objectification lives in the nervous system, manifesting in micro-adjustments the body makes before conscious awareness. Referencing Iris Marion Young's essay "Throwing Like a Girl," Lisa describes how women learn to move with "inhibited intentionality," taking up less space and moving tentatively, as if always being watched. Lisa also discusses research by Barbara Fredrickson and Tommy-Ann Roberts on "self-objectification," where girls adopt an observer's perspective on their bodies, measurably impairing the ability to feel internal bodily states like hunger or heartbeat.[45:24] Lisa shares her disconnection to the trauma of her younger sister's death when she was five and how she coped with using food. She explains that denial, disconnection, and dissociation became her primary defense mechanisms and sent her the message that the world was safe despite her weight. [1:09:09] Lisa wraps this episode up by inviting listeners to practice re‑centering through two anchors: deep breathing and replacing “How do I look?” with “How do I feel?” She emphasizes that mindful breathing is a skill that must be practiced to come back inside the body and become aware of what is happening within oneself.*The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.Embody Peace With Food: A Revolutionary Holistic Approach - Omega Institute: July 12-17, 2026LISA IS NOW ACCEPTING: One-on-One Clients!⁠Purchase the OOTC book of 50 Journal Prompts⁠⁠Leave Questions and Feedback for Lisa via OOTC Pod Feedback Form ⁠Email Lisa: ⁠lisa@lisaschlosberg.com⁠⁠Out of the Cave Merch⁠ - For 10% off use code SCHLOS10Lisa's Socials: Instagram⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠

What if the voice in your head… isn't truth — just repetition? In this powerful and deeply personal episode, I share my journey of healing from childhood bullying and overcoming years of negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and internalized criticism. The bullying I experienced in school wasn't dramatic — it was quiet, daily, and subtle. The whispers. The jokes. The comments about my appearance and the color of my skin. And while the bullies eventually disappeared, their words didn't. They became my inner voice. Years later, I found myself battling confidence issues, self-doubt, and harsh self-judgment — believing that inner critic was simply being "honest." Until one unexpected moment changed everything. On a train in Edmonton, Alberta, a stranger looked at me and said: "You are beautiful and gorgeous." What followed was the beginning of my affirmation journey — learning how to replace internalized bullying with intentional self-love, positive affirmations, and compassionate self-talk. This episode explores: How childhood bullying affects adult confidence The impact of negative self-talk on self-esteem Internalized racism and beauty standards How affirmations help rewire your inner dialogue The psychology of repetition and belief Steps to build self-worth and emotional resilience Choosing healing over self-criticism self-love journey, healing from bullying, overcoming low self-esteem, positive affirmations, inner dialogue, self-worth, confidence building, mental health healing, Black woman empowerment, self-acceptance, personal growth podcast #SelfLove #HealingFromBullying #Affirmations #InnerHealing #ConfidenceJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #BlackWomenHealing #SelfWorth #PersonalGrowth #PositiveMindset #EmotionalHealing #OvercomingSelfDoubt www.cleannejohnson.com

This week on Inspire Change, Gunter discusses what is consciousness, and how does it shape the inner lives of men?In this episode of Inspire Change with Gunter, Gunter explores the complex nature of consciousness and its profound influence on self-awareness, emotional experience, and personal growth. Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and decades of therapeutic experience, he examines how consciousness shapes men's inner worlds — and why understanding it is essential for healing, emotional intelligence, and authentic connection.  Rather than treating consciousness as an abstract concept, Gunter breaks it down into practical components that listeners can explore in their own lives. He explains how internalized voices, social conditioning, and relational environments influence self-perception and vulnerability, and how greater awareness can lead to healthier emotional expression and deeper personal insight.  This conversation offers practical questions and reflective tools designed to help listeners better understand their mental states, emotional patterns, and self-model — opening pathways toward growth, resilience, and meaningful change.Key Themes & Discussion PointsThe Nature of ConsciousnessWhy consciousness remains one of psychology's most complex and “stubborn” questionsExploring whether we are mechanical beings or living organisms with rich inner worldsThe Three Components of ConsciousnessGunter outlines three interacting elements:State — the current mental and emotional conditionContent — thoughts, feelings, and sensory experienceSelf-model — how we perceive and define ourselvesInternalized Voices & Self-PerceptionHow introjected voices shape identity and self-awarenessThe influence of early authority figures and cultural messagingHow internal narratives shape emotional regulation and behaviorSocial Environment & Emotional ExpressionThe role of mirror neurons and relational dynamicsHow social environments influence vulnerability and connectionWhy men often experience emotional restriction in relational spacesConsciousness & MasculinityCultural conditioning and its impact on men's emotional accessHow masculinity norms influence vulnerability and self-expressionThe relationship between consciousness, emotional intelligence, and personal growthPractical Reflection QuestionsGunter offers guiding questions to deepen awareness:State• What is my current mental and emotional state?• Am I calm, tense, distracted, or overwhelmed?Content• What thoughts and emotions are present right now?• Are they grounded in reality or shaped by past experience?Self-Model• How do I see myself in this moment?• Is this perception compassionate, critical, or inherited?These questions help cultivate self-awareness and create space for intentional change.Memorable Sound Bites“Are we machines or living beings with inner worlds?”“Consciousness is three things working together.”“Internalized voices shape your self-model.”

Guest Speaker Rev Dr Leona Stucky-Abbot's service delivered on February 22, 2026. Infants begin to develop their brains in the context of a mothering matrix, which involves the important relationships of their early years. Internalized relational patterns gradually establish expectations and structures for how babies think. Their novice experiences also distort who mother is and why she exists. These distortions mirror the ways humans construct their relationships with the Divine.

Why are so many “music words” based around travel? Around space? Highs and lows, in and “out.”We talk about being in a key, moving away from home, climbing into a chorus, falling into resolution. Why are we navigating music? For me, musical gravity is one of the best ways to find your way through it!So let's go on a little trip, and find some distant lands to improve your compositional thinking and love of music!For 30% off your first year with DistroKid to share your music with the world click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DistroKid.com/vip/lovemusicmore⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Nutrition coach Jimena Lerma joins Ambitious Addicts to talk about a long road to recovery from disordered eating and exercise addiction. Starting in her pre-teens, Lerma's relationship with her physical body was influenced by social pressure to achieve an unrealistic ideal. Internalized social pressure drove Lerma to adopt unhealthy eating and exercise patterns, which eventually harmed her health and overall wellbeing.  Lerma realized her yearning for an unattainable ideal of thinness was doing more harm than good, so she sought healing through holistic and spiritual means. Recovery came in fits and starts, but eventually stuck. Lerma eventually applied her own recovery journey and experience with practical and business knowledge to launch a coaching practice, mostly aimed at women looking to heal from disordered eating and improve their relationships with their body.  Lerma can be found on Facebook via her name or on Instagram @jimena.ler.ma She welcomes DM's with inquiries about taking the first step toward better health and wellbeing. --- This episode is a production of the Self Discovery Sisterhood. It was hosted by Terra Carbert and produced by Kirk Klocke. Music courtesy of Blue Dot Sessions. Do YOU know a woman in recovery from a substance or behavioral addiction who might make a great guest on Ambitious Addicts? Email Terra at terra@ambitiousaddicts.com --- Music: "Kilkerrin" https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/351863 "Miniatures" https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/351866      

Insurance Denials, Unexpected Connection Hacks and a Kitten with a Foot Fetish Patricia Young (she/her) shares a "mishmash" of real-time reflections on disappointment, expectations, nervous system shifts, and the everyday emotional intensity of being AuDHD. From insurance frustrations and PDA autonomy struggles to surprising connection hacks like a digital picture frame, Patricia explores what it means to be neurodivergent in a world full of unpredictability. This episode is a gentle reminder that big feelings are valid, connection can show up unexpectedly, and sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · The emotional whiplash of going from calm to dysregulated in minutes · How autistic and AuDHD nervous systems respond to sudden disappointment · The impact of insurance denial and loss of autonomy (PDA profile) · Why "doing the next indicated step" can be grounding · The difference between pushing through vs. honoring rest · Patricia's experience as a verbal processor and why venting helps · The autistic struggle of wanting specificity but needing to stay vague · How gifts outside your frame of reference can initially trigger discomfort · A surprising digital picture frame "object permanence" connection hack · The neurodivergent reality of out-of-sight, out-of-mind relationships · Internalized self-judgment about what we "should" value · How accommodations from safe people feel deeply regulating · The joy of being supported without shame or inconvenience · Navigating sensory overwhelm in loud restaurants with Loop earplugs · How trusted relationships can invite novelty without dysregulation · The concept of "burnt toast" moments — when bad things lead to better outcomes · Grief, rage, and relief that can come with late autism diagnosis · The pain of expectations falling flat in relationships · Rejection sensitivity showing up even with pets (hello, Walter the kitten) · The reminder that neurodivergent big feelings are human and shared   SOUND BITES  · "My window of tolerance is increasing. I can just sit with more uncomfortable things." · "Sometimes just doing the next indicated step is how we move through things." · "I wouldn't have asked for a digital picture frame… and it ended up being a great hack for connection." · "I feel so seen and so accommodated — and there's nothing about 'you're too much.'" · "There's nothing wrong with you. You're not alone. We're just wired the way we are."   SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Unmasking is an ongoing process of noticing when we're performing, deciding what serves us, and making gradual adjustments, according to Essy Knopf therapist and author of “Unmasking: What We Lose by Pretending and How to Get It Back”. Essy shares his autism diagnosis at 25 and later recognition of ADHD, highlighting how masking and non-stereotypical presentations delayed identification. In this conversation Essy shares about:Internalized ableism Conditional self-worth Burnout, and The difficulty of forming authentic connections while performing for acceptance. This episode offers a grounded discussion of identity, self-advocacy, and living more intentionally as a neurodivergent adult.Book: Unmasking: What We Lose by Pretending and How to Get It Back Website: https://essyknopf.comCheck out Essy's YouTube channel Essy on InstagramLearn more about Sunsama! Support the showSunsama free trial: https://try.sunsama.com/xi4blkokndgk RATED IN THE TOP 0.5% GLOBALLY with more than 1,000,000 downloads! If you are an autistic person who has written a book about autism or if you have a guest suggestion email me at info@theautisticwoman.com. InstagramKo-fi, PayPal, PatreonLinktreeEmail: info@theautisticwoman.comWebsite

Join Monica and Taylor for a thoughtful (and surprisingly layered!) chat about the "not like other girls" conundrum. What started as a casual comment during recording turned into a fascinating exploration of how we as women pit ourselves against each other—and for what? In this episode, we unpack: The origins of the "not like other girls" trope and how it shows up in our lives Our own experiences with feeling pressure to either stand out OR fit in (spoiler: we had opposite journeys!) How this connects to mommy wars, feminism, and those impossible gender roles we're all trying to navigate Why Gen Z might actually be doing this better than we did The beautiful messiness of self-acceptance Plus: We get real about raising daughters, the cafeteria-style approach to life choices, and why "let people like what they like" might be the most important phrase ever. Bottom line? We're all just humans having individual experiences. The sooner we accept ourselves (and each other), the better off we'll all be. This episode is a special shortened preview from More Personal, Monica's premium, private, ad-free podcast for the Supporters Club, starting at just $5 a month. Join the HERE TO STAY: 250 SUPPORTERS DRIVE and help ensure About Progress doesn't just make it to its 10 year anniversary this Fall, but make it so it's here to stay. Join the club ⁠HERE⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Unbothered, Unmasked, and Still Showing Up: Why Neurodivergent People Do the Hard Things for Others Patricia Young (she/her) explores what it means to show up for others as an AuDHDer. She reflects on value-driven behavior, executive functioning challenges, internalized ableism, grief, rest, and the deep relief of living an "unbothered life." Through personal stories about partnership, support, sensory overwhelm, initiation struggles, and authentic connection, this episode invites listeners to rethink productivity, compassion, and what real belonging looks like when we stop masking and start honoring our nervous systems. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · Why neurodivergent people often do hard things for others but struggle to do the same things for themselves · The difference between preference vs. values (and why values often override sensory limits) · A real-life example of showing up for an important ritual despite overwhelm · How gratitude and being seen can make difficult experiences feel meaningful · The "Soup Jean" metaphor: values-based caregiving and automatic compassion · Why some people are confused by generosity—and how that reflects differing value systems · Letting go of mental noise and choosing an unbothered life · OCD, intrusive thoughts, and giving your brain limited airtime instead of full control · "Not my circus, not my monkeys" as a neurodivergent boundary tool · Executive functioning struggles with task initiation (especially for autistic & ADHD adults) · How supportive partners can initiate without infantilizing · Internalized ableism and the fear of "What if I have to do this alone someday?" · The myth that trying harder fixes ADHD and autistic challenges · Compassion for inconsistent energy, productivity, and capacity · Capitalism, productivity culture, and why rest feels morally loaded · Why systems (homes for objects) matter more than willpower · Everyday executive functioning examples (milk, groceries, unfinished tasks) · When to step in to support vs. letting natural consequences happen · Communicating needs during grief without over-explaining or masking · Redefining intimacy: showing up tired, quiet, grumpy, or grieving—and still belonging   SOUND BITES  · "There are things I struggle to do for myself that I would do without hesitation for people I love—because that's my value system." · "I don't want things taking up space in my head that don't belong to me anymore." · "Just because I can do something one day doesn't mean I can do it the next—and that's not a moral failure." · "Rest isn't laziness. It's information." · "You can't screw up being you."   SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS  To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Internalized division is one of the most overlooked effects of cultural oppression. In Part 2 of Cultural Dissension, we explore how harmful societal messages don't just exist “out there”—they often take root within us.Internalized division shows up when we absorb ideas about worth, identity, and power and begin to police ourselves and one another. It can look like competition instead of community, silence instead of truth, or shame instead of belonging. These responses aren't personal failures—they're survival strategies shaped by trauma, history, and systemic inequality.This episode invites listeners to reflect on where division has been normalized and how healing begins with awareness. When we recognize that many of these beliefs were taught—not inherent—we gain the freedom to unlearn them.Healing internalized division isn't about blame. It's about reclaiming compassion, connection, and cultural integrity. As we begin to repair what's been fractured within, we also strengthen our ability to challenge what harms us externally.

EP571. In this solo episode, Renee dives into a surprisingly heated topic: why some moms cannot accept that other women have equal partners. After a Reddit comment accused her of being “lazy” because her husband does school drop-off, Renee unpacks the bigger cultural issues behind reactions like this.She discusses why an involved dad is still seen as a threat to traditional motherhood roles, how internalized misogyny leads women to attack other women instead of the actual problem, and why cognitive dissonance and jealousy play a huge role in mom-to-mom judgment.This episode explores mom-martyr culture, equal partnership, mental load, and the emotional triggers that arise when women see support they themselves haven't received. If you've ever felt judged for having help, or wished your partner showed up more, this is a validating, honest, and deeply relatable listen.Topics include:• Mom martyrdom and outdated expectations• Why equal partnership challenges people• Internalized misogyny and mom-to-mom policing• Jealousy disguised as moral judgment• What it actually means to have support in motherhood• The real story behind Renee's “drop-off drama”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I loved this conversation with the wise James Deegan, Irish intuitive healer and inner child shaman. In a world where so many women and children are still living with the consequences of unsafe masculinity, we desperately need examples of men who are willing to face their own shadows, take responsibility for harm, and become emotionally safe. His story is massive, his determination unbelievable, it will stay with you. James shared parts of his childhood that shaped everything — the kind of early experiences that fracture your sense of safety and leave you feeling both too much and not enough. We talked about how his healing didn't come from bypassing that pain, but from learning how to go back for the parts of himself that had to leave in order to survive: through inner child work, soul retrieval, and deep embodiment.We explored soul families, karma as balance (not punishment), and the idea that our relationships are sacred classrooms — places where old wounds surface so they can finally be met with awareness and compassion.This is a conversation about healing that doesn't rush. About spirituality that stays rooted in real life. And about the courage it takes to become someone others can safely be with.I'm so grateful to have very serendipitously connected with James in this way, and I know you'll want to connect a man in your life with him. His IG is @james_deegan_healing and you can also access his offerings at his website: jamesdeeganhealing.com

Author and activist Ashton Applewhite joins Dori Mintzer to expose how ageism, more than aging itself, undermines health, purpose, and connection across the lifespan. Drawing on her book This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism and her decades of work at the forefront of the anti-ageism movement, Ashton explains how internalized, interpersonal, and structural ageism show up in everyday life and what it takes to challenge them. She also introduces YODA (Youngers and Olders Dismantling Ageism), a new initiative inviting people of different ages to come together, talk about power, and build alliances for a more just, age-inclusive world.What We Talk AboutHow Ashton first “woke up” to aging and discovered how wrong most of our assumptions about later life really are.What ageism is, where the term came from, and how it operates alongside racism, sexism, and ableism.Internalized ageism and the everyday language and beliefs that limit both “youngers” and “olders”.Chrono normativity and why life is not a linear timeline with fixed ages for work, family, and retirement.Why the U.S. is highly age-segregated and how mixed-age relationships reduce prejudice and enrich everyone's lives.The origins of Old School: The Anti-Ageism Clearinghouse and its evolution into the Old School Hub.YODA: what Youngers and Olders Dismantling Ageism is, why it centers conversations about power, and how anyone can try it in their community, workplace, or family.Practical ways to respond to ageist comments, question generational stereotypes, and design more inter-age programs and communities.About the Guest: Ashton ApplewhiteAshton Applewhite is an internationally recognized expert on ageism and the author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism. She is the co-founder of Old School, a global hub that curates free, anti-ageism resources and convenes people working to advance age equity around the world.​Ashton speaks widely at venues including the United Nations and the TED main stage, and has been a leading voice in making age a recognized dimension of diversity. In 2022, the United Nations named her one of the “Healthy Aging 50,” honoring 50 leaders transforming the world to be a better place to grow older.Connect with Ashton ApplewhiteWebsite: This Chair RocksBook: This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against AgeismLinkedIn: Ashton ApplewhiteWhat to do next: Click to grab our free guide, 10 Key Issues to Consider as You Explore Your Retirement Transition Please leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Join our Revolutionize Your Retirement group on Facebook.

What is internalized homophobia and how can it manifest? Anney and Samantha shine some light on the issue.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're invited to Empowered Seat, my membership designed to help you grow, lead, and rise alongside other powerhouse assistants. Join Here → https://www.wholeassistant.com/empoweredseat ---------------------------------------------- Working for an executive who thrives in chaos can leave you feeling frustrated and questioning your own abilities. You are not the problem, and you are not responsible for fixing someone else's patterns. In this “best of 2025” episode, I unpack why some leaders operate in chaos, how to stop taking it personally, and what it looks like to stay grounded when everything around you feels unpredictable. In this episode, you will discover: Why chaos feels normal for some executives How to stop blaming yourself for situations you did not create Ways to stay professional and calm in messy environments How to decide whether a chaotic workplace is the right fit for you ----------------------------------------------Have burning questions you've been dying to ask? Submit your question to Ask Annie Anything by clicking here. ----------------------------------------------Enjoy what you're hearing on the podcast? Please rate and review wherever you're listening. Stay Connected: Book your free coaching discovery call. Visit the website. Follow me on LinkedIn. Send Me an Email: annie@wholeassistant.com

What if stepping back wasn't failure, but strategy? In this episode of Why Isn't Everyone Doing This?, I sit down with Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause, for one of the most validating conversations I've had about ambition, identity, and motherhood. Neha names something so many women feel but rarely have language for: the tension between wanting a meaningful career and wanting to be deeply present with our children, without burning ourselves out or betraying ourselves in the process. She reframes the idea of a “career pause” as an empowered, intentional choice, not a step backward, but a recalibration. We talk about why motherhood has been intellectually and culturally diminished, how internalized capitalism keeps women stuck in guilt loops, and why the most ambitious thing you can sometimes do is choose what matters most right now. This conversation is honest, nuanced, and deeply relieving, especially if you've ever felt like you were failing at something when you were actually just listening to your intuition. If you've ever felt pulled between ambition and presence… this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore: • Why motherhood has been “dumbed down” culturally • The concept of the Power Pause, and why language matters • How to make intentional choices without shame or guilt • Ambition vs. intuition (and why it doesn't have to be either/or) • Internalized patriarchy and capitalism in working motherhood • Seasonality, boundaries, and redefining success • Why presence matters more than hours About Neha Ruch Neha Ruch is the founder of Mother Untitled, a leading platform for ambitious women navigating parenthood, and the author of The Power Pause. Her work is reshaping how society understands stay-at-home motherhood, ambition, and identity. Neha has been featured on Oprah, USA Today, and beyond. Where This Work Continues This episode touches on questions we explore more deeply inside Level 3 — how to redefine success, work with seasons instead of against them, and make choices that actually support the life you're living now. Level 3 focuses on the inner practices that help those choices feel steady and sustainable. Explore Level 3 here:

Internalized negative self-talk trapping ND lives? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, host April unpacks Complex PTSD/ADHD mental health with Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero, NYC/FL psychotherapist (25+ years social work/child welfare/intergenerational trauma/CPTSD expert). Using EMDR/IFS/Polyvagal/somatic therapies, Karen undoes limiting beliefs for authenticity/goals; life coaching for non-NY/FL via TikTok, plus parent support for emotional regulation. Key insights: Negative self-talk: Childhood messages (e.g., "lazy" from ADHD struggles) internalized—higher CPTSD risk in ND (adverse experiences like unmet needs). CPTSD vs. PTSD: Relational/micro-traumas (e.g., single-parent absences/narcissistic abuse) vs. single events (war/accidents); leads to anxiety/depression/avoidance. Polyvagal theory: Bottom-up body focus (window of tolerance/fight-flight-freeze/dorsal shutdown); regulate via sensations (e.g., neutral feet vs. chest tension)—ADHD/autism concrete (EMDR eye movement/tappers). EMDR for ND: Bilateral stimulation desensitizes trauma memories; evolving for autism/ADHD (virtual/no light bar); process emotions concretely ("what happened next?"). Rewriting stories: Narrative/motivational interviewing challenges origins ("is it true? strengths? passions?"); experiment authenticity (small steps like "hi" to vendor). Attachment styles: Healthy (communication/vulnerability); avoidant (infidelity/avoid intimacy); anxious (constant doubt/people-pleasing); disorganized (both)—ND rejection sensitivity amplifies. Addictions/substances: Beyond alcohol/drugs (food/shopping/exercise/secrets); red flags (hiding behaviors); regulate dopamine healthily (breaks/routines). Advocacy/relationships: Therapy fit crucial (ask trainings/referrals); healthy dating (experiment/vulnerability); parents model regulation to minimize messages. For autistic/ADHD young adults navigating independence/trauma, Karen's vibe: "You're not broken—rewrite for worth." Free resources at kdtesoriero.lcsw.net; email coffeewithkaren@gmail.com. Subscribe for ND trauma hacks! Rate/review on Podbean/Apple/Spotify. Linktree: (socials/shop/Podbean). Holiday merch sale: 30% off tees/hoodies with code BLACK25 at adultingwithautism.shop—rewrite your style fierce! #CPTSDADHDND #NegativeSelfTalkAutism #PolyvagalNervousSystemNeurodivergent #EMDRTraumaRecoveryADHD #AttachmentStylesYoungAdults #RewritingStoriesNeurodiverse #AdultingWithAutism #HealthyBoundariesAutistic #PodMatch #Podcasts #BTSNeurodivergent #BTSArmy   Episode: CPTSD & ADHD in ND with Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero [00:00] Intro: ND Negative Self-Talk Trap [00:30] Karen's Expertise: 25+ Years CPTSD/ADHD Trauma Work [02:00] Negative Messages: Childhood Internalization (ADHD/Autism Struggles) [05:00] CPTSD vs. PTSD: Relational/Micro-Traumas (Adverse Experiences) [08:00] Polyvagal Theory: Bottom-Up Regulation (Window of Tolerance/Freeze) [11:00] EMDR for ND: Bilateral Stimulation/Desensitization (Concrete Processing) [14:00] Rewriting Stories: Narrative Interviewing (Challenge Origins/Strengths) [17:00] Attachment Styles: Healthy vs. Avoidant/Anxious/Disorganized (ND Rejection) [20:00] Addictions/Substances: Beyond Drugs (Food/Shopping/Secrets/Red Flags) [23:00] Healthy Relationships/Dating: Experiment/Vulnerability/Communication [26:00] Outro: Authenticity Takeaways & CTAs Resources: Website: kdtesoriero.lcsw.net (therapy/life coaching) Email: coffeewithkaren@gmail.com TikTok: (life coaching outreach) Linktree:  (socials/shop/Podbean) Subscribe on Podbean/YouTube for ND mental health tips! Share your rewrite win in comments. #NDCPTSD #AutismNegativeTalk #ADHDPolyvagal #EMDRNeurodivergent #AttachmentYoungAdults #AdultingWithAutism

Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and intimacy. This episode aims to provide strength and resonance for women, femmes, and AFAB individuals. Listen for powerful personal reflections on noticing and dismantling internalized patriarchal views. and a call for embracing radical self-love (it's a process). Episode Notes: The Male Gaze:https://media-studies.com/male-gaze/ https://theconversation.com/half-a-century-of-the-male-gaze-why-laura-mulveys-pioneering-theory-still-resonates-today-256875Miss Representation: https://therepproject.org/films/miss-representation/It's a must watch! Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/CrossroadsCrowStudiosFinding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!https://www.finding-ok.com/support/Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...00:00 Introduction and Poem Reading 02:00 Podcast Introduction and Trigger Warnings 04:11 Understanding the Male Gaze 06:45 Personal Experiences with the Male Gaze 11:36 Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification 13:53 Intersection with Sexuality and Body Image 23:08 Healing and Moving Forward 29:22 Closing Remarks and AcknowledgementsSupport the show

In this episode, Sarah is joined by one of our courageous client, Caroline, who agreed to have her session/Q&A recorded to give listeners an inside look into what happens in a Healing Embodied session. Caroline is navigating the fear of regret that's showing up in her life and relationship, and the underlying shame stories that are accompanying this. Sarah helps her somatically shift her perspective on regret and shame, so she can open her heart fully to love and life.Additional Resources for Therapists, Healers, Coaches, and Creative Entrepreneurs:Free Resource Library for Therapists, Healers, and Creatives: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/library-signupFree Facebook Community for creatives, helpers, and healers who want to lead from embodiment and wholeness: https://www.facebook.com/groups/embodiedleaderparadigmGet our $7 ebook for therapists, coaches, and practitioners on how to create a career that lights you up and serves from overflow rather than burnout and self-sacrifice, From Overgiving to Overflow: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/overgiving-to-overflowLearn more about our flagship group program for leaders, healers, and creatives: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/wholly-humanLearn more and/or apply for our year-long, internationally accredited somatic certification program: www.healingembodied.com/get-certifiedUnlock the fullest expression of your purpose and get clear on your unique career vision by booking a Career Vision Call: https://healingembodied.hbportal.co/public/careervisionAdditional Resources for those who want to embody more love, trust, and wholeness in their lives and relationships:Want to be a client of Healing Embodied? Book a free 30 minute Clarity Call with a member of our team, and learn how we can support you in creating more trust, love, and joy in your life: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/applyOur flagship group program: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/wholly-humanOur Relationship Anxiety Resource Shop (mediations, masterclasses, courses): https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/shopGet on our email list for updates, podcast episode announcements, discounts, and more: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/sign-upCheck out all the ways we can support you here: www.healingembodied.com/healwithus

Keeping it Real During the Holidays: p.s. I Love the Grinch! Patricia (she/her) dives into the emotional and sensory whirlwind of navigating change as an AuDHDer during the holiday season. She unpacks the exhaustion that comes from shifting family dynamics, unpredictable routines, kitten chaos, people coming and going, and the desire to show up with more capacity than she actually has. Patricia speaks candidly about shutdowns, resentment, communication misfires and boundary-setting. This episode invites listeners to honor their own wiring, acknowledge their limits, and give themselves permission to navigate change on their own terms—especially when the world is loud, messy, and demanding far too much. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE ·   The emotional weight of constant change during the holidays ·  Why autistic and AuDHD nervous systems struggle with unpredictability ·  How people coming and going can destabilize daily rhythms ·  Sensory overwhelm from decorations, noise, and social expectations ·  The shutdown mode that follows too much "peopling" ·  Resentment that canform when needs aren't communicated directly ·  That awkward dance between wanting to show up and feeling over capacity ·  Kitten chaos as both joy and sensory overload ·  Feeling responsible for everyone's experience (hello, people-pleasing!) ·  The grief of not feeling safe to voice your values or boundaries ·  Family conflict and the ripple effects on your emotional regulation ·  Why inconsistency can be draining for some neurodivergent brains ·  The need for predictability, routines, and familiar sensory anchors ·  Internalized pressure to be "easygoing," especially around holidays ·  The truth-telling wisdom of the body when burnout hits ·  "Harvest feast" (aka Thanksgiving) recovery mode ·  Observing subtle family dynamics that others overlook ·  Using pacing and gentle self-compassion to navigate the season ·  How even positive changes can be dysregulating ·  The reminder that honoring your limits is an act of self-love SOUND BITES ·  "Change really affects me. I overdid it, and now my body is telling the truth." ·  "Even things that you enjoy can be dysregulating and overwhelming." ·  "If someone could respond differently, they would—we're not choosing to have difficulty with change." ·  "Inconsistency is very difficult for me; it's not about the tree, it's about the mismatch." ·  "I think what I call depression is really resentment for not being direct." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS  To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Author Matthew A. Andersson discusses the article, "Internalized Sexism and Well-Being in the United States," published in the December 2025 issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

Former Michelle Obama speechwriter Sarah Hurwitz joins us to explore the world of Jewish wisdom she discovered beyond ethnic jokes, bagels, and a vague sense of guilt. She shares how her culturally Jewish upbringing transformed into a deeply learned, joyful identity—and why real Jewish study is essential if we want to withstand modern antisemitism. We trace how 2,000 years of Christian anti-Judaism, Nazi antisemitism, and Soviet anti-Zionism have been funneled into today's leftist campus ideologies—shaping the anti-Israel narratives dominating universities, media, and movements on both the far left and far right. Most people don't even realize they're repeating propaganda from the soviets and nazis. We also cover the idea that every human being is created in the image of God shaped democracy and human rights, and why "the chosen people" is wildly misunderstood, it's a burden of responsibility, not a claim of superiority. Sarah also explains Judaism as a living, evolving interpretive tradition (hello, 2,500 years of commentary and argument), why dissent and chavruta-style debate are sacred. Sarah ends on a surprisingly hopeful note - so listen in to hear her message. 06:30 — Judaism as wisdom, not just religion or holidays 09:00 — Why antisemitism keeps reinventing itself 12:30 — Image of God, equality & the Jewish roots of democracy 15:00 — The title As a Jew and reclaiming identity without apology 18:00 — Internalized antisemitism & the "cultural Jew" problem 21:30 — What Jews actually are: peoplehood, tribe, civilization 24:00 — Campus antisemitism 27:30 — Israel, refugees & dismantling the "original sin" myth 31:00 — Zionism explained (without the hysteria) 34:30 — Qatar, ideology, and what's shaping academia 37:00 — Michelle Obama, "silence," and the problem with performative activism 40:00 — Chosenness redefined: responsibility, not superiority 43:00 — Jewish law evolves: debate, dissent & chavruta 46:00 — How observant is Sarah now?  48:30 — What gives Sarah hope for Jews in 2025 51:00 — Jewish spirituality, bodies, death rituals & chaplaincy 54:00 — Parting wisdom: why Jewish learning is the antidote Topics Discussed: The history of Israel's founding: land purchased at inflated prices, UN partition, war, refugees on all sides and why Israel is not founded on some unique "original sin" Palestinian refugees, UNRWA, and why Palestinians are treated as a unique, multi-generational refugee category in a way that has harmed both Palestinians and Israelis. Qatar's influence and money in U.S. universities and how that has influenced academic discourse on Israel. Why Sarah, as a proud Zionist and proud American, rejects the idea that Jews can't be loyal Americans. What "chosenness" really means in Jewish tradition (spoiler: not racial superiority) The Jewish idea that every person is created b'tzelem Elohim (in the image of God) and how that idea helped shape the moral core of American democracy How chavruta (study partnership) and argument "for the sake of heaven" sharpens thinking and deepens truth—illustrated live in Polina, Yelena, and Sarah's back-and-forth What's next for Sarah https://www.sarahhurwitz.net Check out our website: https://meantforyoupod.com Reach out to us: meantforyoupod@gmail.com Follow us on IG If you enjoyed this episode, you may like these conversations: Our previous podcast with Sarah discussing her first book, Here All Along Brandy Shufutinsky on the Marxist Roots of Ethic Studies Rabbi  Steve Leder, History, Faith , DEI, Ethics, Anxiety and Awe Sophia Khalifa, Bedouin Muslim Israeli Engineer Shares Why She Became an Acivitist for Israel Dumisani Washinton, Pastor, CEO and Author of Zionism and the Black Church Soviet Anti-Semitism with Izabala Tabarosky,  Erin Molan Fearless Reporter and Advocate for Humanity  

In this episode of the Spirit and Soul Podcast, Tiffany Cohen explores the journey from self-doubt to self-authority. She discusses the common struggle of self-doubt, how it can block personal growth, and the importance of recognizing and overcoming these internalized doubts. Tiffany emphasizes the power of self-awareness, taking action, and trusting oneself as key components in the journey towards empowerment and living authentically. She encourages listeners to unlearn limiting beliefs and to take charge of their own narratives, ultimately choosing a life that aligns with their true selves. Takeaways Self-doubt can be a significant blocker in life. Recognizing self-doubt is the first step to overcoming it. Taking action against self-doubt can change your life. Self-authority begins when you refuse to let self-doubt rule you. Duality helps us understand our power and authority. Internalized voices from others can create self-doubt. Self-awareness is crucial for personal growth. You can unlearn limiting beliefs and fears. Trusting yourself is key to overcoming self-doubt. You have the power to decide when it's the right time for you.    

In this podcast you will learn about shame. Shame is a belief and it results in behaviors that are unhealthy.

✨Listen HERE for: "What We Carry" - Dr. Robyn Pashby's viral talk on mental health and weight, full version. Dr. Robyn Pashby explores the hidden weight we all carry when dealing with eating or weight struggles: shame, stigma, and a sense of failure

Sara Di Gregorio: How to Know Your Team Has Internalized Agile Values Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Agile and Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes.   "Scrum isn't just a process to follow, it's a way of working." - Sara Di Gregorio   For Sara, success as a Scrum Master isn't measured by what the team delivers—it's measured by how they grow. She knows that if you facilitate team growth in communication and collaboration, delivery will naturally improve.  The indicators she watches for are subtle but powerful. When teams come to her with specific requests outside the regular schedule—"Can we have 30 minutes to talk and reflect mid-sprint?"—she knows something has shifted. When teams want to reflect outside the retrospective cycle, it means they've internalized the value of continuous improvement, not just going through the motions. She listens for the word "goal" during sprint planning.  When team members start their planning by talking about goals, she feels a surge of recognition: "Okay, for me, this is very, very, very important." Success shows up in unexpected places. One of her colleague's teams pushed back during a cross-team meeting, saying "We're going out of the timebox" and suggesting they move the discussion to a different time. That kind of proactive leadership and accountability signals maturity. It means the team isn't just attending Scrum events because they have to—they truly understand why each event matters and actively participate to make them valuable.  When Sara first met a team, they asked if she wanted to change things. She said no. What she focuses on is how people improve and understand the process better. For her, it starts with the people—when people change and understand the value, that's when real changes happen in the company. It's about helping people feel good and be guided well, because when they're working well, that's when transformation becomes possible. As Sara reminds us, Scrum isn't just a process to follow—it's a way of working that teams must embrace, understand, and make their own.   Self-reflection Question: Are your teams coming to you asking for reflection time outside scheduled events, and what does that tell you about how deeply they've internalized continuous improvement? Featured Retrospective Format for the Week: Unstructured Retrospective After facilitating many structured retrospectives, Sara started experimenting with an unstructured format that brought new energy to team reflection. Instead of using predefined frameworks, she brings white paper, sticky notes, and sharpies of different colors. She opens with a simple question: "Guys, what impacted you mostly during the last week? How do you feel today?" Sometimes she starts with data and metrics; other times, she begins with how the team is feeling.  The key is creating open space for conversation rather than forcing it into a predetermined structure. What Sara discovered is remarkable: "They are more engaged, more open, and more present in the conversation, maybe because it was something new." Instead of the same structured format every time, the unstructured approach breaks the routine and creates space for true reflections that bring out something deeper and more meaningful. It allows people to express what's genuinely going on for them, not just what fits into a predefined template.  Sara doesn't abandon structured formats entirely—she alternates between structured and unstructured to keep retrospectives fresh and engaging. She also recommends, if you work hybrid, trying to schedule unstructured retrospectives for days when the team is in the office together. The physical presence combined with the open format creates an environment where teams can be more vulnerable, more creative, and more honest about what's really happening. The unstructured retrospective isn't about chaos—it's about trusting the team to surface what matters most to them, with the Scrum Master providing light facilitation and space for authentic reflection.   [The Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast Recommends]

The hosts share personal stories of how they showed up for past dates when they were younger and not as confident as they are now... Confidence isn't about being perfect. It's about being real, relaxed, and present The misconception that confidence = being bold, loud, flirty, or dominant Internalized fear of rejection and its impact on confidence How dating confidence is really about clarity, boundaries, and comfort Showing up as ourselves not the version we think they want... Confident behaviors that attract the right guy... Tips that work on a date like flirting, listening and sharing... Hot Topic: 3rd lawsuit filed against Ursaline High School in Ohio involving Football players harassing a gay student... Hot Topic: Adult MAGA performer Cory Mendelsohn is arrested for assaulting husband and boyfriend... Hot Topic: What does a Top actually smell like and what fragrance if any do Tops where...? Hot Topic: Colman Domingo feels sexier than ever at 55...we discuss Advice: Only 28% of Straight Men feel comfortable seeing two men kiss.... Advice: A guy loved bombed another for 5 dates and now has ghosted him out of the blue... Visit: Studio.com/stevev for the website version and visit the app version: Studio.com/stevev/connect Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Donny Jackson, poet and psychologist, reflects on growing up as a working-class black kid in Pittsburgh where his father was a postal worker for 35 years and his mother was a nurse's aide—parents who instilled work ethic, integrity, and honor while navigating a world not built for young black children. Jackson traces the roots of American racism to the legacy of slavery where black people started as chattel on unequal footing and never shed that history, creating an internalized stain on both sides of the racial fence. He explains how separate but equal was never true, how tribalism prevents empathy development because it is much harder to oppress someone whose feelings you have taken into account, and why redlining and subtle discrimination in apartment rentals remain part of the disease of living a racialized life. Drawing from Isabel Wilkerson's research, Jackson highlights how FDR-era policies designed to improve American life excluded black people, creating structural racism that takes a toll. He warns that 70 million Trump voters represent at least 70 million reasons to remain fearful even after Biden's election. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, it's Guys Gone Deep! Elle and Vee are joined by Ricky — their resident anal expert — for an honest, hilarious, and educational chat about what it really takes to feel comfortable exploring the backdoor.From understanding how to prepare your body, to learning the right tools, techniques, and hygiene tips, this episode dives into the practical side of exploration — and the mindset that makes it enjoyable. We cover topics like body awareness, relaxation, communication, common myths, and how to let go of shame or stereotypes around who “should” or “shouldn't” enjoy this kind of play.Whether you're curious, experienced, or somewhere in between, this conversation blends science, self-care, and a healthy dose of humor to help you approach new experiences with confidence and curiosity.Early anal exploration and learning to use lube. (2:27)Anal cleansing to prep for butt play. (8:35)Tools: bulbs or syringes? (13:22)Best positions to clean yourself. Hint: stay upright! (15:54)What NOT to do. (19:54)How to prevent farting or air bubbles. (23:43)Play with butt plugs and dildos. (25:37)Diet: what can I eat before anal? What foods to avoid before anal? (30:14)Internalized homophobia: overcoming the shame of thinking “butt stuff is gay”. (37:05)Training: warming yourself up and inserting your own toys. Using a tongue (rimjob) or fingers to warm up. (41:02)Anal training kits and the best way to train the sphincter. (48:20)Focusing on the receptors in your sphincter to relax your hole. (54:19)What's the best lube for anal play? (57:48)Poppers: what are they, the risks, and the benefits. (1:03:21)Drug-free relaxation tips. (1:06:30)________________________________________

Love this clip? Check out the full episode: Episode #315: Why ADHD Feels So Shameful (and How to Fight Back)Listen to the full conversation in the original episode HERE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · The ongoing "driver's seat battle" between ADHD and autism. · The push-pull between making accommodations and stretching ourselves beyond comfort. · Parenting a neurodivergent young adult while balancing when to push and when to allow rest. · Task initiation struggles — from making banana bread to cooking meals. · Body doubling as a powerful tool to reduce shame and spark motivation. · The "crisper/rotter" effect — guilt over wasted food and executive dysfunction. · Financial and practical impacts of task initiation challenges. · How privilege plays into having options like prepared or frozen meals when cooking feels impossible. · The cost of pushing through fatigue and flares with conditions like POTS and MCAS. · "Future me" thinking — and the difficulties neurodivergent folks have with impermanence. · Shame as the "ice cream scoop" on top of disability struggles. · Why diagnosis matters: language helps reduce shame and prevent repeating harmful patterns. · How powerlessness, and an attempt to gain autonomy can show up in small, reactive choices (like leaving a Facebook group). · Sensory sensitivities in family systems — how lack of accommodations can lead to dysfunction. · Practical accommodations for noise-sensitive parents and their kids. · Workplace challenges: 40-hour weeks, return-to-office pressures, and capitalism's rigidity. · Creative problem-solving in disabled and neurodivergent communities. · The deep fear of being uncared for and alone if we can't keep up. · Hyper-independence and isolation in the ADHD/autistic community. · Internalized ableism and the "shoulds" that drive shame and burnout. · Neurodivergence as a dynamic disability — what's possible one day isn't always possible the next. · Radical acceptance as a path toward reducing judgment and finding relief. SOUND BITES · "It begs the question of, okay, is that okay? Can we just say that's how it is?" – B Lourenco · "Instead of putting our energy into addressing the gap, folks will take the great divide and then put a scoop of shame on top of it." – B Lourenco · "All the terrible things that we tell ourselves… if I didn't have that awareness, I'd just keep repeating these patterns." – Patricia Young · "In order to truly accommodate ourselves, we have to acknowledge that it's as hard as it is and that we're as disabled as we are." – B Lourenco · "Sometimes I have to ask myself, what if what you're going through is exactly where you need to be?" – Patricia Young SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction) 00:00 Navigating Neurodivergence: A Personal Journey 02:59 Understanding Accommodations: Balancing Needs and Expectations 05:48 The Push-Pull of Task Initiation and Self-Care 08:33 Shame and Support: The Role of Community 11:35 The Impact of Environment on Neurodivergent Individuals 14:26 Workplace Challenges: The Struggle for Accommodations 17:16 Building Bridges: Community and Creative Solutions 20:00 Radical Acceptance: Embracing Our Reality 22:48 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Identity 25:42 The Dynamic Nature of Neurodivergence 29:02 Finding Joy in the Present Moment 31:47 The Bigger Picture: Building a Better Future 34:47 Conclusion: Resources and Future Endeavors PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com PODCAST GUEST B Lourenco, MA, LMHC (she/her) is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, advocate, and activist. B has been working in community support for nearly 20 years and is committed to social change on all system levels. Seeing mental health advocacy as a way to serve the community, she earned a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology, with a Systems Emphasis, in 2015 and began her private practice, B Lourenco Therapy in 2017. B has also worked in the public school system, providing support to students with behavioral issues that made attending school challenging for them. Highly trained in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), B became a district-wide expert in supporting neurodivergent students. It was during this work that she began to be critical of the medical models of support for neurodivergence, including ABA. Making the shift from the medical to the Neurodiversity-affirming model has allowed her to finally identify her own neurodivergence, including Autism and ADHD. Combining her lived experience of neurodivergence, along with years of anti-oppression work, B is passionate about helping others untangle themselves from harmful practices and align themselves with those that instead support marginalized communities. In addition to CE events for healthcare providers, she has also been a speaker on panels and podcasts, and also facilitates community based workshops. https://www.blourencotherapy.com LINKS Cascadia Training: https://cascadia-training.com Imani Barbarin—crutches_and_spice IG https://www.instagram.com/crutches_and_spice/ To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Shame is one of the most isolating and painful emotions we can experience—especially after betrayal. In this episode, I dive deep into how internalized shame takes root, how it quietly shapes our thoughts, and how it keeps us locked in cycles of pain and disconnection. Whether you were the one betrayed or the one who did the betraying, shame shows up in powerful, sneaky ways that can make us believe we are the problem instead of simply experiencing something painful. I walk through how shame forms, what the “shame loop” looks like in real life, and how to recognize the moment it begins hijacking your nervous system. More importantly, I share the practical steps you can take to meet shame with awareness, compassion, and truth—so you can begin to dissolve its power and reconnect with yourself and others. Key Takeaways: Shame often disguises itself as truth, but it's a lie. Recognizing the “shame loop” is the first step out of it. Self-compassion, context, and connection dissolve shame's grip. Healing begins when we stop proving shame right. If you're ready to learn how to break free from internalized shame and build real self-trust, I invite you to apply for my program at https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/. Mentioned in this episode: Men's group waitlist opt-in: https://portal.andreagiles.com/mens-group-waitlist Couples coaching waitlist opt-in: https://portal.andreagiles.com/couples-coaching-waitlist More from me: Please leave a rating and review if you like our podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/healfrominfidelity Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/ Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2025 Andrea Giles

The boys answer questions submitted by you through instagram, text and voicemail. All of your problems are solved! Praise, Oprah! Also Drew stopped a King single-handedly.  Follow us! Instagram: @Twinnuendo @darbylynncartwright @DontTalkToGrant TikTok: @twinnuendopod @thedarbylynn @DontTalkToGrant Twitter: @Twinnuendo @TheDarbyLynn @DontTalkToGrant Support our Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/Twinnuendo?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to our podcast: Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1LtOrDbZh646DYt66FzKUP?si=212f3d3cc4ac478a⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/twinnuendo/id1757646055⁠⁠⁠⁠ Call us!(940) ASS-TWIN IMHO: the PODCAST: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://swap.fm/l/IMHO⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twinnuendo.com  Send us mail!  Drew12348-B Ventura Blvd # 134 Studio City, CA 91604 Grant PO Box 783711 Winter Garden, FL 34778         Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices