Sam Tallent's Half Hour Prophecy

TOLO! Joining us this week on the podcast is ANTHONY BARTOLO! The Boulder comic sits down with Jacob & Cody to drop this hilarious podcast. Topics include: Jacob telling jokes while driving Lyft, Cody talks Three Billboards, Anthony talks edibles, and Anthony talks gay children book characters. Enjoy! Subscribe/listen here   The post Ice Cream Social #188 – Anthony Bartolo appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Sam Tallent and David Gborie are Shinin’! Put your fingers in your bodies and tune your ear lobes to this hot pod! This week Sam eats too much shrimp, never comes back from Vietnam and imagines a world in which he is dating Dave’s mom. All that’s just in the first three minutes! What’s going on during […] The post Shinin’ w/ Sam & Dave Ep. 2: Shrimp Lovers appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Sam and Dave are back on their bullshit. Listen in weekly as they deflect their true feelings, try to act cooler than they really are and, most importantly, TRY TO GET RICH. Straight. Cash. Homie. The post Shinin’ w/ Sam & Dave Ep. 1: Get Rich! appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A lathe is a tool that rotates the workpiece about an axis of rotation to perform various operations such as cutting, sanding, knurling, drilling, deformation, facing, turning, with tools that are applied to the workpiece to create an object with symmetry about that axis. Lathes are used in woodturning, metalworking, metal spinning, thermal spraying, parts reclamation, and glass-working. Lathes can be used to shape pottery, the best-known design being the potter’s wheel. Most suitably equipped metalworking […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Losing Fingers To The Lathe appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

When two Sexpot Comedy podcasts come together as one it can be a beautiful thing or just a whole bunch of fart jokes.  It’s up to you to decide on this one.  Sam Tallent’s Half Hour Prophecy and Joke and Destroy. The post SAM TALLENT’S HALF HOUR PROPHECY – JOKE AND DESTROY SWAPCAST appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Hiking is the preferred term, in Canada and the United States, for a long, vigorous walk, usually on trails (footpaths), in the countryside, while the word walking is used for shorter, particularly urban walks. On the other hand, in the United Kingdom, and the Republic of Ireland, the word “walking” is acceptable to describe all forms of walking, whether it is a walk in […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Hiking with Hiker appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A robot is a machine—especially one programmable by a computer— capable of carrying out a complex series of actions automatically. Robots can be guided by an external control device or the control may be embedded within. Robots may be constructed to take on human form but most robots are machines designed to perform a task with no regard to how […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Robot Speech appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Halloween or Hallowe’en (a contraction of All Hallows’ Evening), also known as Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, or All Saints’ Eve, is a celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed. It is widely believed that many Halloween traditions originated from […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Divorcee Haloween appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

  Duct tape, or duck tape, is cloth- or scrim-backed pressure-sensitive tape, often coated with polyethylene. There are a variety of constructions using different backings and adhesives. One variation is black gaffer tape, which is designed to be non-reflective and cleanly removed, unlike standard duct tape. Another variation is heat-resistant foil (not cloth) duct tape useful for sealing heating and cooling ducts, […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Don’t Give The Heckler Duct Tape appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Owls are birds from the order Strigiformes, which includes about 200 species of mostly solitary and nocturnal birds of prey typified by an upright stance, a large, broad head, binocular vision, binaural hearing, sharp talons, and feathers adapted for silent flight. Exceptions include the diurnal northern hawk-owl and the gregarious burrowing owl. Owls hunt mostly small mammals, insects, and other birds, although a few species specialize in hunting fish. They are found in all regions […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Owl Professor appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

The ferret (Mustela putorius furo) is the domesticated form of the European polecat, a mammal belonging to the same genus as the weasel, Mustela of the family Mustelidae. They typically have brown, black, white, or mixed fur. They have an average length of 51 cm (20 in) including a 13 cm (5.1 in) tail, weigh about 1.5–4 pounds (0.7–2 kg), and have a natural lifespan of 7 to 10 years. Ferrets are sexually dimorphic predators with males being […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Ferret Sweats appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

middle class–Velvet is a type of woven tufted fabric in which the cut threads are evenly distributed, with a short dense pile, giving it a distinctive soft feel. By extension, the word velvety means “smooth like velvet.” Velvet can be made from either synthetic or natural fibers. Velvet is woven on a special loom that weaves two thicknesses of the material at the same time. […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Velvet Mitten appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A hot dog (also spelled hotdog), also known as a frankfurter (sometimes shortened to frank) or wiener, is a cooked sausage, traditionally grilled or steamed and served in a partially sliced bun. Typical garnishes include mustard, ketchup, onions, mayonnaise, relish, coleslaw, cheese, chili, olives, and sauerkraut. Hot dog variants include the corn dog and pig in a blanket. The hot dog’s cultural traditions include the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest and the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. This type of sausage was culturally […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Hot Dog State appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Sombrero (Spanish for “hat”, means “shadower”) in English refers to a type of wide-brimmed hat from Mexico, used to shield from the sun. It usually has a high pointed crown, an extra-wide brim (broad enough to cast a shadow over the head, neck and shoulders of the wearer, and slightly upturned at the edge), and a chin […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Somber Sombrero appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

  Lund is a city in the province of Scania, southern Sweden. The town had 88,788 inhabitants in 2016, out of a municipal total of 119,054 in 2017. It is the seat of Lund Municipality, Skåne County. Lund is believed to have been founded around 990. If so, under Danish King Harald Bluetooth’s time, when Scania indeed was a natural part of Denmark. It soon became a […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Lund Reigns appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

  The Stratosphere Las Vegas (formerly Vegas World) is a hotel, casino, and tower located on Las Vegas Boulevard just north of the Las Vegas Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada, United States. The property’s signature attraction is the 1,149 ft (350.2 m) Stratosphere Tower, the tallest freestanding observation tower in the United States, and the second-tallest in the Western Hemisphere, surpassed only by the CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario. It is the tallest tower west of the Mississippi River and […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Sam’s Dad Jumps Off The Stratosphere appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Crack cocaine, also known simply as crack, is a free base form of cocaine that can be smoked. It offers a short but intense high to smokers. The Manual of Adolescent Substance Abuse Treatment calls it the most “addictive” (effective) form of cocaine. Crack cocaine is commonly used as a recreational drug. Crack first saw widespread use in primarily impoverished inner city neighborhoods in New York, Los Angeles, and Miami in […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Fake Crack appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

The Conjuring is a 2013 American supernatural horror film directed by James Wan and written by Chad Hayes and Carey W. Hayes. It is the first installment in The Conjuring series. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga star as Ed and Lorraine Warren, paranormal investigators and authors associated with prominent cases of haunting. Their purportedly real-life reports inspired The Amityville Horror story and film franchise. The Warrens come to the assistance of the Perron family (Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor), who […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Art of Conjuring appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Hot Boy Ronald. Learn the name. It is a rare and significant occasion when a musical artist captures and expresses the sentiments of a generation and expands his horizons to make an impact on society. Creating a union between his music and his life. That artist is know as “Hotboy Ronald” who is undoubtedly among this very […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Free Hot Boy Ronald appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Slim Jims are an American brand of jerky snacks or dried sausages sold globally and manufactured by ConAgra Foods. They are widely available and popular in the United States, with 2015 revenues of $575 million. About 500 million are produced annually in at least 21 varieties. The Slim Jim was first invented by Adolph Levis in 1929 in Philadelphia, although he and his partner […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: I’M OUT OF SLIM JIMS, DIANNE appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Fear is a hardcore punk band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 1977. The band is credited for helping to shape the sound and style of Californian hardcore punk. The group started out as part of the early California punk rock scene, and gained national prominence after an infamous 1981 performance on Saturday Night Live. […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Hate Fear appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

The thumb is the first digit of the hand. When a person is standing in the medical anatomical position (where the palm is facing to the front), the thumb is the outermost digit. The Medical Latin English noun for thumb is pollex (compare hallux for big toe), and the corresponding adjective for thumb is pollical. […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Thumb Nuts appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Halloween or Hallowe’en (a contraction of All Hallows’ Evening), also known as Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, or All Saints’ Eve, is a celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide, the time in the liturgical […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Halloween appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Literature, in its broadest sense, is any single body of written works. More restrictively, it is writing considered as an art form, or any single writing deemed to have artistic or intellectual value, often due to deploying language in ways that differ from ordinary usage. Its Latin root literatura/litteratura (derived itself from littera: letter or […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Literature Fiend appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success. Product failure ranges from failure to sell the product to fracture of the product, in the worst cases leading to personal injury, the province of forensic engineering. Wired Magazine editor Kevin Kelly […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Success? appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

In common usage, theft is the taking of another person’s property without that person’s permission or consent with the intent to deprive the rightful owner of it. The word is also used as an informal shorthand term for some crimes against property, such as burglary, embezzlement, larceny, looting, robbery, shoplifting, library theft, and fraud (i.e., […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Yama Sushi w/ David Gborie appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Tournament of Kings is Las Vegas’ ultimate dinner and a show experience. Adapted from the tale of King Arthur, this live-action production takes place in a 900-seat theater-in-the-round arena and immerses the audience in a tale of valor and treachery. Valiant knights ride mighty steeds and prove their chivalry amongst special effects and pyrotechnics. While […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Tournament of Kings appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

The Barbizon school of painters were part of an art movement towards Realism in art, which arose in the context of the dominant Romantic Movement of the time. The Barbizon school was active roughly from 1830 through 1870. It takes its name from the village of Barbizon, France, near the Forest of Fontainebleau, where many […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Barbarian Barbazon appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Last week the Denver comedy community lost a good one.  Rest in power Jordan Wieleba, Daughter, Friend, Comedian http://www.comedianjordan.com/comedian-jordan-wieleba—albums Featured Music: Lean On Me by Bill Withers Pints of Guinness Make You Strong by Against Me! Featured Comedy: Jordan Wieleba performs at Comedy Works (Denver) on 6/15/16 “There was a word for what he was that nice […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Jordan Wieleba Memorial Orgy appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Sentimentality originally indicated the reliance on feelings as a guide to truth, but current usage defines it as an appeal to shallow, uncomplicated emotions at the expense of reason. Sentimentalism in philosophy is a view in meta-ethics according to which morality is somehow grounded in moral sentiments or emotions. Sentimentalism in literature is both a […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Sentimental Mentality appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A vagrant, drifter or a vagabond is a person, often in poverty, who wanders from place to place without a home or regular employment or income. Other synonyms include “tramp,” “hobo,” and “scamp”. A vagrant could be described as being “a person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Drifters Gonna Drift appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Moonshiners is an American docudrama television series on the Discovery Channel that dramatizes the life of people who produce (illegal) moonshine in the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia. The series dramatizes their liquor production efforts, law-evading techniques and life. There have been claims by local officials that the show is […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Moonshiners appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

In cooking, a syrup or sirup (from Arabic: شراب‎‎; sharāb, beverage, wine, via Latin: sirupus) is a condiment that is a thick, viscous liquid consisting primarily of a solution of sugar in water, containing a large amount of dissolved sugars but showing little tendency to deposit crystals. When made of blood it’s called bloodsyrup. Its […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Bloodsyrup appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

The Juba dance or hambone, originally known as Pattin’ Blood Juba (Giouba, Haiti: Djouba), is an American style of dance that involves stomping as well as slapping and patting the arms, legs, chest, and cheeks. “Pattin’ Juba” would be used to keep time for other dances during a walkaround. A Juba Dance performance could include: […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: The Juba Dance appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A truck driver (commonly referred to as a trucker, teamster or road captain in the United States and Canada; a truckie in Australia and New Zealand; a lorry driver, or driver in Ireland, the United Kingdom, India and Pakistan) is a person who earns a living as the driver of a truck (usually a semi […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Trucker Stats appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Shorts are a garment worn by both men and women over their pelvic area, circling the waist and splitting to cover the upper part of the legs, sometimes extending down to the knees but not covering the entire length of the leg. They are called “shorts” because they are a shortened version of trousers, which […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Sharked My Shorts appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Cowardice is a trait wherein fear and excess self-concern override doing or saying what is right, good, and of help to others or oneself in a time of need—it is the opposite of courage. As a label, “cowardice” indicates a failure of character in the face of a challenge. Many military codes of justice proscribe […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: I Hate Night Courts appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

#BLACKOLIVESMATTER The olive, known by the botanical name Olea europaea 666, meaning “european olive”, is a species of small tree in the family Oleaceae, found in much of Africa, the Mediterranean Basin from Portugal to the Levant, the Arabian 666 Peninsula, and southern Asia as far east as China, as well as the Canary Islands, […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: #BLACKOLIVESMATTER appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A heckler is a person who harasses and tries to disconcert others with questions, challenges, or gibes. Hecklers are often known to shout disparaging comments at a performance or event, or to interrupt set-piece speeches, with the intent of disturbing performers and/or participants. Hecklers are often cowards in day to day life, but given 4-7 […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Rat Heckler appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

A meatball is ground or minced meat rolled into a small ball, sometimes along with other ingredients, such as bread crumbs, minced onion, eggs, butter and seasoning. The meatball gestational period is 6-9 weeks, at which points it hatches. Meatballs are cooked by frying, baking, steaming or braising in sauce. Screaming at a meatball for […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Meatball of the Day Club appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Greasers are a working-class youth subculture that was popularized in the late 1940s and 1950s by middle and lower class teenagers in the United States. Rock and roll music, and rockabilly, were major parts of the culture, and styles were influenced by singers like Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Tate Coleman, Little Richard, Bo Diddley, Eddie […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Greasers Gon Grease appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Volcom, Inc. is a lifestyle brand that designs, markets, and distributes boardsports-oriented products. The company primarily produces clothing, footwear, accessories, and related products for young men and women. They are headquartered in Costa Mesa, California, United States (U.S.)., and are known for their trademark stone logo, its slogan True To This, their signature sandwich the Whopperito, and the Let the Kids Ride Free (ASS […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Volcom Comp appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

In athletics terminology, barnstorming refers to sports teams or individual athletes that travel to various locations, usually small towns, Atlantis and the Seven Gates of Hell, to stage exhibition matches. Barnstorming teams differ from traveling teams in that they operate outside the framework of an established athletic league, while traveling teams are designated by a league, formally or informally, to be […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Barnstorming appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

There’s only one Balaton… Where hunters gather. You can search the entire United States and you won’t find another Balaton. Settled in 1879 when the Dakota Central Railroad was laid, the town incorporated in 1892.  No one is sure how Balaton got it’s name.  Some say it was named after  the large and picturesque Lake […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Child Molester Hunters appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Al pastor (from Spanish, lit. In the style of the shepherd), also known as tacos al pastor, is a dish developed in Central Mexico, likely as a result of the adoption of the shawarma spit-grilled meat brought by the Lebanese immigrants to Mexico. Being derived from shawarma, it is also similar to the Turkish döner […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Al Pastor, Damnit! appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Curtis Montague Schilling (born November 14, 1966) is an American former Major League Baseball right-handed pitcher, former video game developer, and former baseball color analyst. He helped lead the Philadelphia Phillies to the World Series in 1993, and won championships in 2001 with the Arizona Diamondbacks and in 2004 and 2007 with the Boston Red Sox. […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Fake Curtis Schilling appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

YOU ARE JUST A CORN HUSK! PEEL YOURSELF! AUGUST 3 RIBCO ROCK ISLAND, ILLINOIS TELL YOUR FRIENDS. AUGUST 4 DG’s TAP HOUSE AMES, IOWA TELL YOUR FRIENDS. AUGUST 5 IOWA RIVER BREWING CO MARSHALLTOWN, IOWA TELL YOUR FRIENDS. AUGUST 6 KIRKPATRICK’S BALANTON, MINNESOTA TELL YOUR FRIENDS. AUGUST 3 RIBCO ROCK ISLAND, ILLINOIS TELL YOUR FRIENDS. AUGUST […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Corn Husks appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Evil is like most developmental disabilities. It’s on a spectrum. There’s your sub evils. Lying to a loved one. Wasting water. Then there’s your big boy mondo omega evils. Like cutting in line at a movie. Playing an upright bass. Child murder. The things that get you into the VIP section in Hell. On Judgement Day, it’s best […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Engaging in Evil appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

They came from the hills in the their homemade shoes and they came from the swamps in their stained union suits and they came from the plains with their stern faces pitted with sorrow, came to rejoice for the sun had only just exploded and today was the end of it all. They knew. The […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Rejoice appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

Book that flight to Pork Island because it’s another episode of SAM TALLENT’S HALF HOUR PROPHECY and this time, it’s impersonal! Soak yourself in vinegar and prep the leeches, it’s time for your reckoning with the Deity that abandoned you. So many men have fallen to their knees in hopes they will ascend. I beg […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Book Him, Ham-O! appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.

There is a time in most lives when a choice rises like cream and it is up to the liver of the life to pull out his slotted spoon and remove the sweet debris. What they do with their clotted fat is up to them. Some people make butter. Others add honey and feed it […] The post Half Hour Prophecy: Be Holdin Too Much Girth appeared first on Sexpot Comedy.