Too Old For This Pit

We can't, and won't, say we have favourite guests on this podcast. But, Charlie Rolfe is one of our favourite guests. Join us as we have a good natter with the As Everything Unfolds vocalist about two-day hangovers, favourite species of birds and the nerves that come with playing in front of a thousands-strong Download audience. The similar thrill of supporting local heroes Enter Shikari is also on the agenda. In a more serious section, Charlie sheds light on just how difficult touring Europe has become now that the UK has turned it's back on a big ol' chunk of the world to reap the many (zero) benefits that come with Brexit. BUT WE GOT BLUE PASSPORTS MATE. If you want to skip a bizarre intro that sees Graham and Kieran discuss bee tornados, fitting toilet seats and milk-based horror film titles, just jump to 15 minutes. We won't blame you, honestly. 

Let's be honest, very few of us thought Hundred Reasons would make music again. Most of us also didn't expect Glorious Sunset to be their best record yet, and easily one of the stand-out rock albums of 2023.  No-one thought they'd come on a podcast of such little merit. Join us as we sit down with bassist Andy Gilmour, pre-release, and take a nostalgia trip through video rental stores, minidisc players, Leeds Festival and Top of the Pops. Internet banking phishing scams, Spotify royalties and, at some point, music are also discussed. Can you imagine. In one of the greatest moments in music interview history, 5-year-old Logan asks Andy a question which requires him to dig into the very essence of his soul: "Cheese string or Babybel?" An explorative journey into 'active' and 'passive' cheeses then begins.To warm you up (or turn you off), we chat about mundane superpowers, hangovers and whether patio furniture is an appropriate anniversary present. 

This time we're joined by Luke and Josh, two thirds of brutal UK metal outfit Pupil Slicer. They're lovely lads too, which adds to our theory that the nastiest, heaviest bands are always the most pleasant people you can ever chat to. While we do have a chat about their musical influences, YouTube reaction videos and their upcoming record, we also spent a hefty amount of time discussing which animal has the best eyeballs. Standard.Before Luke and Josh jump in, it's all about Center Parcs, velvetising (which sounds rude but isn't) and identifying adult-only snacks. We also decide to go head-to-head with Logan Paul and KSI with our new drink, Past It's Prime. 

Almost two years ago, Gordon Morison regaled us with rock and roll stories of stolen drumkits, run-ins with Slipknot and revenge-based drinking. The perfect fit for our comeback, it only felt natural to kick off the next phase of TOFTP with one of our most popular guests. Joining us from beautiful Wales, Gordon discusses being executed in a music video, the Corby trouser press (that's not from Corby) and a gig that was cancelled after half a song when a 'urination error' blew the venue's power. Standard stuff.Before Gordon joins us, we delve into the thrill rides that are our daily lives. A new vacuum cleaner, making friends with the guy who runs the chippy and the absolute rollercoaster that is owning an air fryer. Tell your friends we're back.Please do tell them though, we'd appreciate that. Please. Thanks.

We're officially back! Join us for a  quick catch-up episode discussing the future of this podcast, 'binfluencers', vegetable box subscriptions and the announcement of our next guest. 

We had babies (well, our wives did) and we're back from our PITernity leave. And what a guest to come back with! Will Putney doesn't really need an introduction, but, just for our parents, he's a guitarist in New Jersey's premier deathcore band Fit For An Autopsy, and has also produced some of the best metal and hardcore records of the last 20 years - including releases from Knocked Loose,  Body Count, Terror, Norma Jean, Gojira, Every Time I Die (RIP) and many, many more. We only had 30 minutes with Will due to his ridiculously tight schedule and there was so much more we'd love to have discussed. Still, we managed to chat about Fit For An Autopsy's incredible new release Oh What The Future Holds, how Will approaches producing his own music versus others, his friendship with Ice T, and, for the first time in aaaages, the Shameless Sunday pick isn't country music! Before Will jumps on the mic we discuss peanuts, babies, Avril Lavigne, the When We Were Young Festival and some fella in Kieran's town who's now internet famous. Who runs the world? Girls.

Gather, friends, as we sit down with the incredibly talented and wonderfully warm Sergio Medina, who joins us from Las Vegas. Sergio plays guitar in Eidola and Royal Coda,  and is also Vice President of Blue Swan Records. As if all that wasn't impressive enough, he also has the best hair of any guest we've had on this podcast. We dive into Eidola's brilliant new record, The Architect, and chat about how it came to be. But, if you've listened before you know we tend to only talk about music for around 6% of each episode, so Sergio offers his thoughts on topics such as the weather, Costco cheese and the origin of life itself. In a bid to further differentiate ourselves from other music podcasts, we also chew over quantum physics, advanced linguistics, line dancing and whether it's cool to wear skinny jeans in your forties. Spoiler alert: probably not.As you may have guessed from the delayed release of this episode, life is immensely busy for us right now. As well as work and other commitments, we're both expecting babies imminently - something that we shouldn't have done at the same time if you believe podcast Facebook groups. We'll try our best to get new episodes out but if we slow down you know why!

Randy Frobel is an incredibly nice, incredibly busy guy. As well being the frontman of Canadian pop punk heroes We Were Sharks, he plays amateur league baseball, performs in a popular covers band AND finds time to write solo songs and play video games. We hate him for all of this.Luckily for us, Randy also has time to be part of our offbeat podcast. Things go off on a massive tangent very quickly this time as we look at the differences between cricket and baseball (spoiler alert - cricket is boring), discuss Steve-O's voice, ponder whether Disney Plus kickstarted the pandemic and put Randy through a quiz about sharks. We still can't believe how many teeth they grow in their lifetime. You probably won't either.Before Randy walks into this nonsense, we kick things off with 'top bants' about sore legs, haunted houses and fun trips to the dentist. The human dentist, not the shark dentist. A dentist that is human, not a shark, and helps humans, not sharks. You know what we mean. 

Join us casually dressed and deep in conversation with Funeral For A Friend drummer Ryan Richards. Two decades since their formation, and having made a colossal impact on the UK music scene, the Welsh post-hardcore band still enjoy so much love from fans around the world.In the midst of gearing up for more reunion shows, Ryan sits down with us remotely to chat about the band's success, the artists he now manages and promotes, and, of course, his opinions on Marmite. What did you think we'd discuss?Before Ryan preps himself to appear on the podcast at least two people have described as 'passable', we acknowledge the fact that football has not, in fact, come home and Graham provides possibly the poorest acapella version of a song you'll ever hear. What kind of food is at the heart of Kieran's late-night drunken texts? Listen and all will be revealed. Yet we're nothing more than an audio file in your ears.

When he's not donning his iconic visor and gripping the mic in 'A', Jason Perry is a Grammy Award-winning producer helping bands make rousing records.We settle in to chat about the incredible power of music, how he approaches producing and what it felt like to play the Download Pilot a couple of weeks ago - a real, live festival with people moshing.  We also discuss how we all hate Costa Coffee's branding before getting into the many, many questions you, our listening legends, wanted us to ask him. Before Jason rushes back from a breakfast with Daniel P. Carter to join us (we're important), we fantasise about what we'd do with our imaginary lottery winnings, dive into the living nightmare of ill-fitting shower enclosures and ponder the question on lips across the length and breadth of this strange island - is football really coming home?

On this episode we welcome Sammy Urwin - guitarist, owner of beautiful hair and all-round pleasant chap. As well as laying down the heaviest riffs in Employed To Serve, he also co-runs the exceptional Church Road Records. He's eaten dog chocolate too.Join  us as we chat with him about Justin Timberlake, the dynamics of being in a band with your spouse,  pyramid schemes and the Titanic. We even ask him your burning questions, 86% of which comprise of "WHEN IS THE NEW RECORD OUT?!"While Sammy psyches himself up for his appearance on the podcast several people have described as "alright", we share the worst jobs you, our wonderful listeners, have ever had - from grave digging to lion shipping. Truly, we are all employed to serve.

One of Dane Campbell's bandmates is his dad. His dad's better than yours though, mainly because he played guitar in Motorhead and your dad didn't. With rock and roll coursing through his blood, when Dane isn't behind the kit getting heavy with Phil Campbell and the Bastard Sons, he's hosting his excellent podcast, Drum for the Song. A man of many talents, he’s also absolutely bloody lovely to talk with. Dane joins us from beautiful South Wales to shoot the breeze on many interesting topics, such as the dynamics of mixing music and family, working in a cheese-packing factory to make ends meet during the pandemic and the differences between Marmite and Vegemite. Before Dane enters our Zoom call and makes our houses look shite with his collection of wall-hung instruments, we gift your our silliest intro yet as we cover 'penny licks' (not an adult entertainment star), daytime TV and Victorian open-air museum confectionary. We've peaked.

Everyone knows that Bert from Mary Poppins is the earliest example of a one-man band - but that doesn’t mean he’s the best.  Imagine if he was cranking out blackened, doomgazey post-metal, had a less confusing accent and didn't force innocents to dive into his chalk-based nightmarescapes. That's essentially Jason Roberts - multi-instrumentalist and sole member of Breaths. Jason joins us from Richmond, Virginia to chat about Breaths’ incredibly good debut album, Lined in Silver. We talk about influences, juggling music with a full time job and family life, and Jason informs us, in the most relaxed manner, that he once opened for a band so famous even your gran knows them. No big deal.Before Jason ushers the kids out of the house and psyches himself up for being on the world’s greatest podcast*, Graham and Kieran broach a broad range of  enthralling topics - gardening, painting, cleaning and securing the future of this humble show by having babies within ten days of each other. Sometimes we wish we were listeners rather than hosts, so we could ride this audio rollercoaster unaware of the thrills that await us. *subject to opinion

Too Old For This Pit turns one! To celebrate Graham and Kieran have pulled together loads of tasty highlights to laugh at and discuss. Whether you're a veteran listener or a total noob (do kids still say that?) you're in for a treat. Grab yourself a drink, sit back and relax as your ears are enveloped with 'top bants' (they definitely don't say that) and clips from interviews with all the bands and guests that have graced us with their presence over the last 12 months. Find out what Craig from Sick Of It All is growing in his gardenDiscover Four Year Strong's plan for 'intimate' gigsHear Serena from Svalbard chatting about being buried aliveRevel at Raging Speedhorn telling Slipknot to "f*ck off" Laugh at a toddler asking Luke from The Dirty Nil about bagels and pancakesWe're even treated to a personalised metal rendition of 'happy birthday' courtesy of Ste Bauman, and we take some time to thank those who have supported our first year.Honestly, what more could you want?!

Our mental health is incredibly important, especially in these unusual and stressful times. On this episode we're honoured to be joined by Dr Kate Quinn,  a clinical psychologist working in our amazing NHS. Kate is also the founder of Heavy Metal Therapy, an online community and resource for those who find metal a benefit for their mental wellbeing. Kate talks about some of the inspirational stories from the Heavy Metal Therapy community, the vital role alternative music can play as a release for stress and anxiety, and the positivity around the return of live music. Before Kate dons her headset, we chat about Irish curry sauce, Davey Havok, WiFi washing machines and Robin Williams.  Kieran decides to use the podcast intro as the vehicle for  sharing a huuuuuuuge announcement with Graham and takes him by total surprise, but in a good way!

Oven chips. Cruises. Online gaming. We talk about all of these things with Archie Hatfield, vocalist of Bristol-based Immerse. Don't fret, heavy music lover - we also chat about the dynamics of the band, their upcoming second album and their touring plans now that there is a potential return to normality for live music. Archie tells us about his favourite places to play in Bristol, opening for Bam Margera and why they have songs named after Peep Show and Monsters Inc. He also responds very well to a child asking him why his music is so angry. Before Archie fires up his PC and RGB lights, Kieran and Graham discuss gas boiler maintenance, hair length and the new single from The Offspring. They also speculate whether summer festivals will go ahead (spoiler alert: probably not).All aboard the good ship Too Old For This Pit, toot tooooooot! Do ships toot? We clearly haven't thought this through.

Punk rock elitism. CrossFit classes with yoga mums. Exploding dogs. We discuss all of these things with our favourite Canadian, Luke Bentham - singer and guitarist of the mind-blowingly amazing band The Dirty Nil. We even manage to spend a little time discussing their incredible new record, Fuck Art. Imagine that. Luke gets into why the band refuses to shackle themselves to a genre, their varied influences and bassist Ross's history in doom metal, country and, now, rap. We all laugh heartily about the upcoming community-sourced music video for new single Elvis '77 and go off on a tangent about IKEA furniture. For the first time ever, we let a three-year-old ask a couple of questions too. What could go wrong?Before Luke defrosts his microphone, we get into Kieran's snoring, Graham's hot stomach and an epic tale of potato-based consumer fury which will scupper any chance of Domino's sponsoring this podcast. Pizza Hut, let's chat.

It's no big deal at all, but this time we're joined through the wonder of the internet by one of the best drummers in rock and metal - Martin Lopez. Currently sitting behind the kit in prog-metal supergroup Soen, he's also well-known for playing previously in Opeth and Amon Amarth. You knew that though. With new album Imperial freshly released, Martin spills the details on the background of how the record came to be and also informs us how to play an exceptionally messed-up prank with your band mate using an Albino Python. He talks about growing up in Sweden with Uruguayan parents and how his South American heritage led to him sometimes feeling like an outsider in his country of birth and, in turn, forged Soen's lyrical focus on inclusivity and acceptance.Before Martin boots up Zoom, we talk amongst ourselves about Kieran's M&S-based moral dilemma, extreme couponing, doomsday preppers and starting a Patreon account that lets you remove the audio of whichever co-host you like the least. Or maybe both of us.

Sonny Vega was getting ready to fly to South America for another overseas tour when he received some news that would change his life. After a frank discussion with his band mates, he left behind a decade of travelling the world with melodic hardcore legends Close Your Eyes and returned home to Texas to prepare for the birth of his daughter and a different life.We sit down with Sonny from a covid-secure social distance of 4,733 miles and discuss his childhood dreams of being a professional musician and how Close Your Eyes cleverly ignited their small town with live music to ink a deal with Victory Records. He also talks about the challenging transition from being a touring musician sleeping in a van with sweaty fellas, to being home with a steady job and sleeping in a nice bed with his wife. We talk podcasts too, as Sonny hosts the immensely witty (and often drunken) Always Sonny Podcast. Don't listen to it though, you might like it more than ours.Before Sonny joins us we get into Kieran's dreams of being a lumberjack, Graham's fancy new microphone, and whether 'crap' and 'bloody' are swear words.

In our final episode of 2020 we're joined by Rachel, a keen Kerrang! magazine preservationist who set up the incredible Instagram account @moshermags to remind us all of just how good the early 2000s were. We don our baggy jeans and Papa Roach t-shirts and travel back in time to reminisce about nu-metal, sweaty alternative nightclubs and how downloading a Korn song on Limewire took around a month, give or take. Before we open the treasure trove of our teenage past, we have a chat about our grown-up Christmas gifts, Kieran's snugly-fitting elf costume and we get all misty-eyed thinking about our first year in the podcast business and the amazing guests we've had on. We're probably only a few months away from being multi-millionaires so that's nice. We'll catch you next year and wish you all the best for a healthy and happy 2021 x

Why is Nando’s way better than it really should be? What’s the worst movie of all time? How long do you need to leave orange juice in the fridge for it to turn brown? We put all of these questions and more to Brett Boland, singer and guitarist for ethereal post-metal outfit Astronoid. Boasting two incredible albums and a soaring sound that’s almost impossible to define, we do actually talk about music with him too. We also throw in the world’s toughest Simpsons quiz as well. You know, for balance. Before we are connected to Brett through the wonder of remote meeting software, we discuss cereal bars, energy drinks as gateway drugs, shit dads in Christmas films and whether a tuxedo-sombrero combo can be considered ‘smart casual’. We are the cheese, the cracker is your social circle. Place the cheese on the cracker. Thank you.

Hey you! Do you have eyelids? If you do you probably haven't listened to Svalbard, a band so ferocious that eleven seconds of their monumental music will be enough to actually remove skin from your lovely face. We're joined by Serena Cherry, "guitars and growls" for the aforementioned Bristolian hardcore outfit, and this week we go off on a proper tangent. Yeah, we talk about the incredible experience that is their newest album, 'Will I Die, Will I Get Better?', but we quickly shift into a solid chat about Halloween, theme parks and rollercoasters. Don't worry though - we still ask your questions!Before Serena joins us we chat about Butt-Rock, gardening TV shows and new carpets. Graham's son informs us, live on air, that he's done a poo.Welcome to our lives.

I'm calling out to you, can you hear me? Hope so, because Grammy-nominated, multi-million-record-selling bass legend Paolo Gregoletto of Trivium joins us from across the pond for Episode 12. This right here is the section of text where we like to big up our incredible guests but we're not sure we will this time. It's Paolo. He plays bass in Trivium. The band Trivium. Press play and envelope your hungry ears with the sound of us chatting with Paolo about What The Dead Men Say (probably our favourite album of 2020), the construction of a kick-ass Trivium HQ in an aircraft hangar and why, unlike us, he doesn't spend all of his time on Warzone in the gulag chucking rocks at the player next to him. Before we load the pyrotechnics and throw our devil horns up in the air, we (Kieran and Graham, EQUAL co-hosts) engage in some jovial banter about clothes shopping on a budget, living our lives vicariously through other people's holiday videos and the most niche genre of metal out there - Wizard Of Oz-core.

This time we're joined by Stijn Vanhoegaerden, guitarist of brilliant Belgian band Brutus. Try saying that quickly. To say we were looking forward to chatting with Stijn is an understatement - with two stunning albums under their belt and an epic live record out very soon, Brutus are one of the most exciting, dramatic rock acts out there right now. We talk about music influences, their recent socially distanced gig and how they may not have formed if Refused hadn't gotten back together. We also discuss how it feels to play atop a Napoleonic fort, why you probably shouldn't block Lars Ulrich if he hits you up on Facebook and we ask Stijn your questions!Before we get into it all, Kieran and Graham reminisce on haircuts of yesteryear, share the joys of speed awareness courses and give one lucky non-UK listener the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to win some Marmite. Don't say we never give you owt.Please note, Kieran's internet gremlins decided to give him a quick visit a few minutes before recording. In his own words, his audio may sound "a bit shit".

We're alive! If there's one thing you truly need for a podcast, it's the internet. Unfortunately, Kieran has been without this precious modern commodity for almost two months and it's been a bit difficult to record and upload. But it's finally fixed and we're back on track with a brilliant guest - Justin Schlosberg of Hell Is For Heroes and August Spies!Hell Is For Heroes is a band we've both loved for a long, long time and it was a real honour to chat with Justin about their incredible discography, their explosive live shows and his current solo project, August Spies. Being the biggest HIFH fan of all time, Kieran spends this episode in a state of ecstasy second only to the joyful bliss of his wedding day. Before that we talk to Justin we have a quick chat about how much we've missed seeing each other's lovely faces, Graham's now-worrying obsession with cooking outdoors and Kieran provides a completely impartial, unbiased consumer report on Sky broadband.Thanks for sticking with us through this lengthy period of technical oblivion, we love you!

We're properly excited to be joined by Craig 'Ahead' Setari of New York LEGENDS Sick Of It All. As well as looking back at Craig's storied history playing bass in one of the greatest hardcore bands of all time, we chat with him about Greggs cheese and onion pasties, growing tomatoes, his love of Motown and the most famous gig venue in the world - CBGB. Before Craig graces us with his presence Kieran slurps a drink, Graham reads his less-than-stellar school reports from 20 years ago and we compare the best Captain Lee quotes as we discuss where we're up to in our binge marathon of Below Deck.Welcome aboard listeners, smooth sailing ahead.

This time we're joined by Dan Nightingale of Conjurer - one of the most exciting metal bands around right now! We chat about Peep Show, the massive success of their debut album, find out what it's like to record a collaboration record with someone you've never met and we ask your questions - is he really into Carly Rae Jepsen? Does he think a bear could beat a shark in a fight?!We'll fill your ears with Grade F banter before that as Kieran makes great personal progress with his fear of spiders and Graham gets the ultimate adrenaline rush in a park. We also read some excerpts from a book called "Are You Turning Into Your Dad?" and talk about the disturbing noises we make when we sit down or eat. Ronan Keating was right, life really is a rollercoaster.

On this episode we're joined by Dan Franklin, author of 'Heavy: How Metal Changes the Way We See the World'. We chat about how the book came to be, the vast number of bands Dan's seen and the relief he felt after recovering his wedding ring from a Deftones moshpit. There's discussion about a study on death metal fans Vs 'normal' people, how album artwork can shape your experience of a record, and Dan's story about spending two days at the scrapyard prising a certain CD from the "automotive tomb" of his wrecked car.Before we get into it all, Kieran and I discuss pubs reopening, cheap ice-cream, his betrayal of our friendship and the all-encompassing power you gain from throwing a microwave as far as you can.

This time we’re joined by Gordon Morison of UK metal veterans Raging Speedhorn! Gordon tells us about the early days of the band and the sacrifices they made to play gigs, how he told Clown from Slipknot to “f*ck off” (it’s fine, they’re mates now) and confesses his love for massive 80s pop tunes. We also get into the new album, the line-up changes the band have been through in the last two decades and the best way to get revenge on your bandmate after a blazing row! Before Gordon joins us we chat about the perils of Facebook advertising, social distance dog meetups and our recently-established Barbadian fanbase. Boom!

On this exciting episode we're joined by Alan Day and Dan O'Connor of pop punk legends Four Year Strong!Having recently released their new record, Brain Pain, the guys talk about the recording process, the expansion of their sound and the frustration of not yet being able to properly tour the album due to the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. Alan talks about his organic Christmas tree farm, Dan chats about the love/hate relationship he has with a particular item of UK fast food and we explore how the pandemic might change live shows in the future.Before the guys join us we also have a brief discussion about mistaking dog poo for chocolate, James Hetfield's finance spreadsheet and how the phrase "I'm supporting small businesses" can be used to justify buying 50 cans of beer and a kilo of sweets online.If you enjoy what you hear, don't forget to share this episode and join us on social media - just search for Too Old For This Pit.

Our first ever special guest gets up early in California to join us! James Lilja is a Gynecological Oncologist, plays drums and sings in Bunko and was an original member of The Offspring. We chat about all kinds of fascinating stuff, like nautical-themed dive bars, the early days of The Offspring, the music therapy trial he's creating with Dexter Holland and how finding a decomposed rat in his house led to the creation of a bizarrely catchy pop song. Before James joins us we also dive into a whole raft of personal updates. Graham gets tested for Coronavirus, Kieran gets a dog and we get injured by breathing and cooking waffles. If you enjoy what you hear, don't forget to share this episode and join us on social media - just search for Too Old For This Pit.

We're back for our difficult second album!Join us as we chat about the most pathetic way to injure yourself, eating Chinese food on a professional level, French Disney characters and Kieran's ongoing spider problem.We look at four bands that have totally changed their sound and review new releases from The Black Dahlia Murder and Enter Shikari. We also travel back to 1992 for this episode's classic album - Rage Against The Machine's self titled record. Eff you, we won't do what you tell us.13:00 - Four bands that totally changed their sound33:40 - The Black Dahlia Murder - 'Verminous' review38:00 - Enter Shikari - 'Nothing is True and Everything is Possible' review46:10 - Classic album - Rage Against the Machine, 1992

Join us, Kieran and Graham, for the very first episode of Too Old For This Pit!We're on a coronavirus lockdown, discussing our glorious teenage years listening to Nu Metal and reviewing new releases from Body Count and Code Orange. Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory is 20 years old, which is supremely depressing, so expect some chat on that. We also talk about our shared hatred of flat pack furniture and spiders. Strap yourselves in.15:43 - Nu Metal39:45 - Body Count and Code Orange reviews53:13 - Hybrid Theory turns 20

Too Old For This Pit is a humorous dive into the world of alternative music with Graham and Kieran, two 30-something metalheads who now stand at the back of gigs. Expect epic discussions on new releases, hot debates about bands past and present and occasional grown-up banter covering aching backs, screaming toddlers and becoming responsible adults.