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No Niki November continues, with Michael, merritt and John doing their absolute best to keep this train on its tracks, with predictable results. Topics of discussion for this episode include the output of the USA Network between 2005 and 2016, "the first porno you watched," the existence of the Storkborn, ye olde Internet, buying CDs in 2025 and, if you can believe it, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With Niki exiled to the International Space Station for No Niki November, friend of the show Michael Higham joins John and merritt for another round of ... whatever this is. The gang talks about baseball, AI-generated pictures of Shaq, how long we've had our phone numbers, the dating age limit, and some general information about Canada, as well as a a double edition of Scam Text Theater and, somehow, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5 Minute Panic Attack Relief Meditation That Actually WorksStop a panic attack instantly and find immediate calm with this powerful, 5 Minute Guided Meditation. If you're struggling with a panic attack right now or feel yourself starting to spin into overwhelming anxiety, this is your lifeline. This session is designed to deliver instant panic attack relief and help you stop panic attacks immediately!This is the 5 Minute Panic Attack Relief Meditation that actually works by teaching you real-time coping techniques to calm your fight or flight response.In this Deep Breathing Guided Meditation, you will use:Quick 4-7-8 Breathing: A profound breathing exercise for anxiety to slow your heart rate and soothe your nervous system.Essential Grounding Techniques: Anchor your mind to the present moment by noticing 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.Powerful Affirmations: Repeat calming words like "I am safe right now," "The feeling is passing," and "I am ok" to regain calm and control.Video Chapters for Fast Relief: (Always include this for a longer video)0:00 - Introduction & Hook0:50 - Close Your Eyes & Shift Attention1:17 - 4-7-8 Breathing Technique for Calm2:41 - Grounding Techniques for the Present Moment4:15 - Calming Affirmations & Talk Down5:08 - Final Exhale & Well Done
In our most SCARETACULAR episode yet, John, merritt and Niki don their festive garb and roam the streets causing mischief. Between egging houses, our trio touches on a number of SCREAMIFYING topics, including the evolution of the Spirit Halloween business model, Dracula's Dulce de Leche Dream, if your hair and nails still grow when you're dead, historical use of cattle prods by Canadian law enforcement, a vampire dog, and folks? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
merritt, Niki and John spend an hour or so boiling life's issues down to their most distilled, relatable ingredients, and then snort or smoke them. This week's chemical additives include Major League Baseball, lower the ppm microplastic count of your jizz, manuka honey, an installment of Scam Text Theater that is truly one for the books, and if you still have room for dessert, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Close Your Eyes unveils 3rd mini album ‘blackout' trailer.
Niki and John welcome merritt back from her Las Vegas vacation(?), and after we find out how much money she lost, the show quickly moves on to other topics, which include (but are not limited to) time share presentations, Scam Text Theater entries from all three hosts(!!!), figuring out a Halloween costume for Niki, the lore of Family Matters, and if you listen closely, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With merritt aboard the International Gambling Station, local hero Michael Higham joins Niki and John for an extensive, in-depth discussion about dating, car drinks, antimicrobial ping-pong balls, John's friend Ben, people who play Quidditch in real life, and before Niki and Michael have to go to this wedding, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We've been delving into some different Kpop boy groups recently which is why Devin is attempting to properly sort the members into their correct group after hearing only their stage name! As she describes it, “We're literally just going off of memory/vibes here”. Listen to see if she will be able to correctly sort the members of AHOF, CLOSE YOUR EYES, BOYNEXTDOOR, ENHYPEN, and ATEEZ!Remember to check out the songs we recommended from each of these groups and watch some of their content if you're unfamiliar with the members! If you're already familiar with these groups, comment which ones you stan and if you enjoyed Devin's attempt to sort the members into their correct group!Listen to the first "Sorting Kpop Boy Group Members" episode here: https://youtu.be/pGWN4eRZzdQ Listen to the "Sorting Kpop Girl Group Members" episode here: https://youtu.be/Dm_GWMtWc6c Like, subscribe, comment, and stay meowin'! Follow us on Spotify! sptfy.com/BlushCatFollow BlushCatTwitter: @BlushCat_twtInstagram: @BlushCatOfficialEdited by: @DevinCrystie0:00 Intro + Logo Motion0:11 Devin + Quilt Opening Comments + Today's Topic4:25 Recommendations 6:37 Disclaimers7:46 Sorting Kpop Boy Group Members (AHOF, CLOSE YOUR EYES, BOYNEXTDOOR, ENHYPEN, ATEEZ)37:40 Devin's Recap & Corrections52:47 Naming the Correct Members 59:33 Subscribe, Notifications On, Like 1:01:22 MeowtroHowdy, Meowers! Check out the non-podcast kpop content only on YouTube + get new episodes earlier!https://www.youtube.com/@BlushCatOfficial#BlushCat #kpop #podcast #ahof #closeyoureyes #boynextdoor #enhypen #ateez #cye #bnd #아홉 #클로즈유어아이즈 #클유아 #보이넥스트도어 #엔하이픈 #에이티즈 BlushCat is a K-Pop themed podcast airing every weekend. Devin and the ever name-changing Host #2 discuss everything from their favorite groups to popular shows starring everyone's favorite (and least favorite) idols.
Your phone rings. It's an unfamiliar number. The caller ID says "MAYBE: TODD," but can you really be sure? You answer, hoping to hear a familiar voice, and that is indeed what you find, but not in the way you had wanted. All that's waiting for you on the other end is John, merritt and Niki, talking at length about consumer safety, Leo saying the n-word, Canada's secret McDonald's veggie burger, inventing the movie theater of tomorrow, and in ways you're not ready for, so much more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What better way to celebrate 150 episodes of whatever the hell this is than by taking a little trip down memory lane? Niki, merritt and John listen to YOUR clips from past episodes and see if they can remember any of them, and afterwards they discuss additional pressing topics such as their mail cadence, Niki's ongoing battle against the City of Los Angeles, and somehow, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
merritt, Niki and John, convene as a counsel of force ghosts for their regularly-scheduled parliamentary duties, which include determining how many snakes Chewbacca has seen, pulling a gun on Yoda, merritt's serial killer breakfast menu, john's ongoing "applesauce problem," the racist cinnamon stick, new frontiers in love, the man who invented the red clown nose, and according to the docket, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Amir Zaza geeft met zijn film Close Your Eyes Hind een gezicht aan Hind Rajab. Een Palestijns meisje dat samen met haar familie is doodgeschoten toen ze in de auto op de vlucht sloegen. Zaza vertelt hoe hij de feiten met creatieve vrijheid heeft weten te combineren, de manier waarop de omgeving van Gaza is nagebootst in een studio en hoe hij de jonge actrice van Hind Rajab heeft ontmoet. Zijn ultieme doel? De slachtoffers in Gaza humaniseren.
Niki, John and merritt break bread over a number of meaningful topics affecting today's Sleepy Americans, including "the old ways," musical appliances, real tangible manifest ramifications for your performance here, keeping your eye on the foot, a number of sports mascots, and folks? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Drive Choir: Inside the South Florida Scene | Bill Munoz on the Band's History, Recordings & Stories //////////////////////// In this episode, we talk with Bill Munoz from Drive Choir about the band's history and the vibrant South Florida music scene of the '80s and '90s. Bill shares stories from early recordings, lineup changes, and releases like Tilt, Close Your Eyes, King of the World, and 11 on Seven. We also hear about the first band, Us, whose members would later go on to form Drive Choir, offering a glimpse into the group's beginnings. Bill shared both positive and negative memories of the various venues Drive Choir played to wild “Alter Ego” nights.Bill reflects on the supportive network of musicians, the band's legacy, and even the far-fetched possibility of a reunion. This episode is a must-listen for fans of Drive Choir, South Florida music history, and anyone curious about the underground alternative scene of the era.
John, merritt and Niki reconvene for a fresh round of industry analysis and insight, covering such diverse topics as Fraiser, Mad About You, "fuck-ass Westerns," fluffy toilet lid covers, those 52 plastic-coated little guys, secrets for a successful gambling trip, what you can do with $120, and folks? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
merritt surprises John and Niki with not just a game to play on a mainline episode, but a Canadian game about Canada and its wonderful(?) culture.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With John aboard the International Space Station, merritt and Niki make do by discussing fly fishing penis etiquette, the World Games, "cracking open a warm one," MSNBC's new name, the pre-Gumball era, famous ibexes, and folks? Somehow, against all odds, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
John, merritt and Niki once again attempt to solve the world's most pressing issues, which this week include the cryo lab they have at the zoo, post-war surfing, cow valves, British people singing, the vast potential enabled by time travel, and folks? Somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With Gimmick Month behind us, and with everyone's ensuing physical and emotional wounds mostly healed, merritt, John and Niki get back to basics with a good ol' fashioned episode of the podcast. What does that mean, exactly? It means talking about slicing burgers like pizza. It means inventing new kinds of state-based restaurant systems. It means investigating the seedy underbelly of competitive eating. It means watching Mr. Beast, and somehow, so much more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mauro Zappaterra obtained his MD and PhD from Harvard Medical School. He is board-certified in physical medicine and rehabilitation with a focus on optimizing human performance, increasing awareness and decreasing suffering. He has been practicing mindfulness since 1998, and teaching mindfulness to patients with chronic pain since 2018, and he is the Director of Multidisciplinary Care at Synovation Medical Group. He has led the Awakening Awareness Program and Inward Inquiry for the Emerging Sciences Foundation which can be found on YouTube. He has published numerous scientific papers and medical book chapters on the cerebrospinal fluid, disability, and pain management. He has also published "I Am", "All One", and "All Love" which are three books exploring topics of awareness, primarily for kids, but really for people of all ages. He has also published "Close Your Eyes, What Do You See?" with his son, which is a story about imagination and intention. And he also published "A is for Awarness: A Consciousness Expanding Alphabet", a new alphabet book. These can all be found on Amazon. He continues to create programs to help patients with chronic pain and investigate the cerebrospinal fluid and integrate new research to evolve the hypothesis of The Cerebrospinal Fluid and I Am. SHOWNOTES:
Gimmick Month crashes into its shocking and climactic conclusion, as Niki runs merritt and John through a gauntlet of challenges designed to determine just who on this show is the whitest.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
@PermissionToStanPodcast on Instagram (DM us & Join Our Broadcast Channel!) & TikTok!NEW Podcast Episodes every THURSDAY! Please support us by Favoriting, Following, Subscribing, & Sharing for more KPOP talk!SEVENTEEN & VIVIZ announces World Tour w/ North America stopsComebacks: BOA, KIIKII, NAEVIS, JEON SOMI, KEY (SHINEE), AMPERS&ONEMusic Videos: BLACKPINK, ENHYPEN, YEONJUN (TXT - TOMORROW X TOGETHER), MEOVV, TWICEKCON LA Plans: Going to Day 2 & Day 3 HAYLEE is excited for JACKSON WANG, ZEROBASEONE (ZB1), RIIZEJOCO is excited for MEOVV, ALLDAY PROJECT, NMIXX, I-DLEMONSTA X maknae I.M on health leave hiatus for chronic back pain2025 The Face Music Awards lineup is insane: STRAY KIDS, AESPA, IVE, NEXZ, BOYNEXTDOOR, NMIXX, NCT WISH, KIIKII, HEARTS2HEARTS, MEOVV, AHOF, ENHYPEN, ZEROBASEONE, CLOSE YOUR EYES, TWST-ARA celebrates 16th AnniversaryFIFTY FIFTY CHANELLE & HANA sings and slays rendition of "Golden"KPOP Demon Hunters becomes the most watched Animated Film on NetflixBTS JUNGKOOK shows off new chest piece to sleeve tatooNEWJEANS visited BTS V in the MilitarySTRAY KIDS breaks attendance record in France with 120,000 STAYSTRAY KIDS teases new album "KARMA" & finally wrapping up World TourSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/permission-to-stan-podcast-kpop-multistans/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Gimmick Month continues somehow, with our three heroes navigating Candy Week to the absolute best of their abilities. Perils awaiting them include (but are not limited to) beef tallow Reese's Cups, "the one that most looks like a turd," carbonic acid, the chocolate bar that makes you gay, something called "bridge mixture," and somehow, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you thought Gimmick Month wasn't going to last the whole month, well, that's not a very reasonable assumption! We named it that on purpose! Anyway this week's gimmick is plagiarism. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Gimmick Month continues with Niki's most devious and unpredictable challenge yet: Quiz Week. Do you know as much about the world as you think you do? Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's July somewhere, and that means it's finally time for Gimmick Month!! Niki has graciously taken point on engineering this year's gimmicks, starting off the 2025 season with PBS Week, which, of course, must include discussion of Little Richard, Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, video games on the roadshow, when you go "to see a thing and one of the people doesn't say anything," and folks? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Longtime best-friend and founding cast member LB Hunktears returns for a special episode full of surprises and adventure, as John, Niki and merritt walk LB through everything they've missed over the last few weeks, including Niki's plan to "do We Are the World again," Bane JNCOs, Frankenstein, the Spaceballs sequel, the latest issue of that AARP magazine Niki gets in the mail for some reason, jelqing, and dude, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
John's back from having major reconstructive surgery, so to celebrate Niki and merritt throw him a big welcome home party with all of John's favorite things, including the show Sister Wives, "the autistic character in League of Legends," merritt's new straight jacket, Frank Thomas' Fuck Pills, doing gear, coming up with new rules for America's Favorite Pastime, and somehow, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
merritt, John and Niki bring a very important topic to the forefront of their weekly discussions: Who is behind the conspiracy destroying this podcast? To get to the bottom of it, the gang investigates a number of related mysteries, including the ET and Mario Kart rides at Universal Studios, "he has big teeth and he's everywhere," merritt's new Wii, and homie, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
According to Deborah Baker, author of Charlottesville: An American Story, America has become the Charlottesville of the Unite the Right Rally of August 12, 2017. Baker, who grew up in Charlottesville in the shadow of Jefferson's Monticello, watched in shock as neo-Nazis marched through her hometown in August 2017 with torches and flags. What began as her attempt to understand how such hatred could manifest in a progressive college town became a deeper reckoning with America's buried histories and recurring tragedies. The fascist ideologies that once seemed confined to internet forums and fringe rallies have now, she argues, been institutionalized at the highest levels of government. The warning signs were there in 2017—but too many people, from university administrators to progressive leaders, chose to look away. If we close our eyes, she warns, it won't go away. five key takeaways1. America Has Institutionalized ExtremismWhat began as fringe internet movements and basement trolling has now moved into the mainstream of American politics and government institutions. The ideologies that shocked people in Charlottesville 2017 are now, according to Baker, embedded at the highest levels of power.2. Progressive Institutions Failed to Take the Threat SeriouslyUniversity administrators, mayors, and police chiefs in liberal Charlottesville told citizens to "stay home" and ignore the approaching Unite the Right rally. This pattern of progressive leadership closing their eyes to fascist organizing represents a dangerous institutional failure that continues today.3. White Supremacy Has Always Married Anti-Semitism with Anti-Black RacismThe Nazi flags at Charlottesville weren't separate from the Confederate monuments debate. White supremacist ideology consistently portrays Jews as the puppet masters behind Black civil rights movements, combining European fascism with Southern white supremacy into a unified hateful worldview.4. America's "Buried Histories" Keep RepeatingBaker discovered that Charlottesville had experienced a similar white supremacist rally in the 1950s that had been completely forgotten. This pattern of burying ugly chapters allows the same mistakes to be repeated, as communities fail to learn from their past encounters with organized hate.5. Economic and Political Destabilization Creates Fertile Ground for FascismThe conditions that radicalized figures like Richard Spencer include the "forever wars," the 2008 financial crisis, and the broader betrayal of working-class Americans. These "self-inflicted wounds" by American institutions create the chaos that fascist movements exploit to gain followers.Deborah Baker was born in Charlottesville and grew up in Virginia, Puerto Rico and New England. She attended the University of Virginia and Cambridge University. Her first book, written in college, was Making a Farm: The Life of Robert Bly, published by Beacon Press in 1982. After working as a book editor and publisher, in 1990 she moved to Calcutta where she wrote In Extremis; The Life of Laura Riding. Published by Grove Press and Hamish Hamilton in the UK, it was shortlisted for the Pulitzer Prize in Biography in 1994. Her third book, A Blue Hand: The Beats in India was published by Penguin Press USA and Penguin India in 2008. In 2008–2009 she was a Fellow at the Dorothy and Lewis C. Cullman Center for Writers and Scholars at The New York Public Library. There she researched and wrote The Convert: A Tale of Exile and Extremism, a narrative account of the life of an American convert to Islam. Published by Graywolf and Penguin India, The Convert was a finalist for the 2011 National Book Award in Non-Fiction. The Last Englishmen: Love, War and the End of Empire was published in October 2018. For this book she received a Whiting Creative Non-fiction grant and a Guggenheim fellowship. Charlottesville is her sixth work of narrative non-fiction. She is married to the writer Amitav Ghosh and lives in Brooklyn and Charlottesville.Named as one of the "100 most connected men" by GQ magazine, Andrew Keen is amongst the world's best known broadcasters and commentators. In addition to presenting the daily KEEN ON show, he is the host of the long-running How To Fix Democracy interview series. He is also the author of four prescient books about digital technology: CULT OF THE AMATEUR, DIGITAL VERTIGO, THE INTERNET IS NOT THE ANSWER and HOW TO FIX THE FUTURE. Andrew lives in San Francisco, is married to Cassandra Knight, Google's VP of Litigation & Discovery, and has two grown children.Keen On America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keenon.substack.com/subscribe
So the bad news this week is that John was in an honest-to-God car accident and has a broken ankle, but the good news is that merritt is joining the show fulltime! These incidents are unrelated and nobody should look into them. :) Otherwise the gang workshops some new ways to incentivize young voters, while also handling John's irrational fear of windows, shoot playing Roblox, and folks, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
John, merritt and Niki crack open a cold tallboy of TRUTH and slurp down a flight of intoxicating discussion topics, including (but not limited to) a failed clone of Machine Gun Kelly, the average number of marriages on this show, getting Jason Bourned as "something to do," Pac-Man's cavernous maw, a Chuck E. Cheese fire in Chicago, and honestly, so much that I've purposefully left out because it was way too funny to spoil here.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
John, Niki and merritt take a break from their quickly unraveling lives [Editor's note: They're fine, I'm just trying to spice things up a little] to discuss a growing number of deep interpersonal concerns, including the physical cost of teleporting, our plans for the rapidly approaching Gimmick Month, deciding to look at a real dead body live on air, vertical smiles (and not the kind you'd think), and my friend, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In addition to being on From the World of John Wick: Ballerina watch, Niki, merritt and John are also keeping an eye on several other developing situations, including Amy Poehler's podcasting career, everyone's favorite Rugrats, putting a bath over your bath, whether Jamba Juice still exists, Law & Order's latest murder, the Billboard Top 100, the most racist thing merritt's ever done, the Wheel, and homie, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With Niki and merritt installed as America's new Gas Czar(s), John struggles to adapt to the new normal of gasoline freestyle machines. Meanwhile, the group is also enlisted to solve a number of scientific quandaries, including whether Sandman from comics (not that one) cums sand, why you should respect the superhuman abilities of Ariel from The Little Mermaid trilogy, what to make of a special jpeg from Jordan, and somehow, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.socialSupport us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Join us as Ocean House owner and award-winning author Deborah Goodrich Royce moderates a conversation with our featured author, New York Times bestselling author Lisa Unger. About the Author: Lisa Unger is a New York Times and internationally bestselling author. Her books are published in 32 languages, with millions of copies sold worldwide. In 2019, she received two Edgar Award nominations, an honor held by only a few writers including Agatha Christie. Her work has been named on “Best Book” lists from TODAY, People, Good Morning America, Entertainment Weekly, Amazon, IndieBound and many others. She has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, and Travel + Leisure. She lives in Florida with her family. About Close Your Eyes and Count to 10: When the real game begins, who will make it to the count of 10? Charismatic daredevil and extreme adventurer Maverick Dillan invites you to the ultimate game of hide-and-seek. But as the players gather on Falcao Island, the event quickly spirals into a chilling test of survival. A storm rages as a deadly threat stalks the contestants, turning the challenge into something far more sinister than the social media stunt it was intended to be. Enter Adele, a single mother with a fierce determination to protect her children at all costs. When she begins the game, she unwittingly enters a twisted web of deception and intrigue. Can she maneuver through the treacherous storm and the relentless competition and get home to her family? In a ruthless battle for survival where the stakes are higher than ever, the blurry line between the virtual and the real proves that the only person we can trust is ourselves. For more information about Lisa Unger, visit lisaunger.com. For details on Deborah Goodrich Royce and the Ocean House Author Series, visit deborahgoodrichroyce.com
LB, Niki and John. You know them, you love them, and one of them was forced to do crowd work as a child, but you'll have to listen to find out which. We also learn about a certain someone's shameful gas buying habits ("Don't tell anyone I top off!"), the secret truth about escape rooms, a Sailor Scout you've never heard of, value-added fungus, and somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/). Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
LB, Niki and John, placed on this Earth to perform one task, must continue their great effort by first dealing with LB's overstretched plantar, the existence of the "chicken jockey" and what effect saying the phrase "chicken jockey" to one's parents might have, the music they're playing our children in PE class, if Ghost Adventures is real, the return of Scam Text Theater, and homies, so much more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/). Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's time once again for LB, John and Niki to do their usual thang and solve all of the world's problems in just over an hour. This week, our heroes discuss batteries, different ways of making oats, the Burger King's relationship with Ronald McDonald, writing in cursive, why they not have ketchup in glass bottle anymore, hooking up your new chair, penis music, and as expected, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Back in the saddle and blasting indiscriminately, John, Niki and LB gather their various dogs for a ruff-riding romp through a number of discussion topics, which include (but are not limited to) the mural at Johnny Rockets, the Quibi guy, watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit while standing outside of a FUBU, British people and their historical chants, The Rock and how he "ruins things," and despite our best efforts, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Niki, John and LB chew the fat -- the HORSE fat, that is!!! -- in this wacky new installment of our madcap program. I don't know how you guys LISTEN to this stuff!! XD Not only does LB debut a brand-new segment, but this episode also touches on some really wild and unpredictable nonsense, like the correlation between sandwich length and disease severity, Reddit's secret "third measurement," dogs with prehensile tails, whether lying to your doctor "counts" or not, and Onii-chan? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
With Niki trapped aboard the San Francisco Space Station, local hero Charles Harte steps in to "fill the void" and help LB and John answer some of the biggest questions facing today's Sleepy Americans, including if anyone has ever fucked The Big Apple Coaster at New York-New York Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, how hot farts are, the biggest poop ever recorded, contracting Hantavirus, whether the bathroom attendant knows if this building is haunted, and folks? Somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/). Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week John, Niki and LB, in a show of unity and strength against mounting opposition forces, take scam dog food makers to task for making scam dog foods. They also launch a radical new campaign designed to end conversations they don't want to participate in; usher in a new age of cyber skeletons for those in need; put a stop to the miserable toil of "doing stuff," and a number of other policy goals.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
LB, Niki, John, Jack and Dianne all convene at the local Tastee-Freez to suck on some chili dogs and talk shop, which this week includes John's trade to the Lakers, Niki's new state of being, Steve's last iPod, interchangeable company names, pivoting to PETA, The Wiggles™, trying to meet Wolfgang Puck in 2025, and honestly dude, so much more that I don't want to spoil it.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.