Up Yours, Downstairs! A Victoria Podcast

*gong noise* Kelly and Amy are back with a little holiday cheer as they recap Kenneth Branagh's A Midwinter's Tale (or In the Bleak Midwinter to our UK Cousins), a 1995 black-and-white love letter to Shakespeare, the power of live theatre and Joan Collins. They discuss their obsession with Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean, people making horrible choices, the casual homophobia of the mid-90s, FADGE, eating chili in England,Rita Repulsa, the Burning Man of the East, what the fox says, a church run by organized crime, Sporkle quizzes, a brief history of camp and the real-life inspiration for Hamlet. Want more Amy in your life? Follow the Instagram for her new podcast @thesearejustcards for her take on tarot. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

NEAME willing, Kelly & Amy are proud to present their last Downton Abbey recap ever. All your favorites are here for the movie: Fashion Backwards, Amy Repeats History and a litany of goofy-ass callbacks to episodes past. They worry that this movie might get nominated for a gd Oscar, speculate about Matthew Goode's reaction to being contractually obligated to appear in this enjoyable but ultimately pointless thing, learn about hot gay sex throughout history, rejoice that there's basically no plot for Bates, call Isobel an Isoballer, get weepy at Maggie Smith's final scene as the Dowager Countess and Thomas' trip to the gay bar, ponder the inevitable zombie-laden sequel and lambast Branson one last time for being such a traitor to the cause of Irish independence.Finally, we can't thank you Cousins enough for your many, many years of loyal fandom. You've been with us through the good, the bad and the downright weird (Strumpet City, we're looking at you). There's not a Molesley among you, and we certainly hope you'll be along for whatever projects we cook up next. We won't be far away--you can find us on Twitter, where we often make humor jokes. Our handles are @kellyanneken & @TheCynicalBetch. See you on the internets!LUNCHEON OUT (for reals, though)! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Due to technical difficulties, Kelly & Amy wrap up their coverage of Victoria and make a stunning announcement! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy talk a lot about Taco Bell in this recap of Victoria S2E3. They also chat Bane, Poortown Lite & Bohemian Rhapsody. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy overcome texts not going through to bring you the golden episode of Victoria, S2E2. They chat about Tilda Swinton, Dadbert and DODubs dividing up all the arts, the deliciousness of Ernst, poor baby Ada Lovelace, the rudeness of Shakespeare fans, Victorian Shake Weights, Lord M playing The Sims, marriage advice from Lord Byron, and the fact that Vicky doesn't understand metaphors See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kell & Amy are back and they feel like Slurms Mackenzie! For their recap of Victoria S2E1, they get to sit at the baronet's table! They also go off on a trans tangent, instruct people to take care of the smegma in their own eyes, curse out Lionel Bart, suggest an unusual method of birth control, and encourage everyone to read more novels. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Gather round, wrigglepantses! It's the S1 finale of Victoria and Kelly & Amy are throwing up some nein signs. They discuss the vagaries of digital copyrights, apologize to to Alex Jennings, tell Vicky to stop watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, first-year marital strife, Lehzen's wet nurse requirements, Victorian maternity wear, terrible editorial choices, dueling rulings, and The Duchy Formerly known as Bone Town. Kelly thanks heaven for small mercies, Amy calls the plant police, and everyone agrees that Scarface is the worst. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy round the corner on S1E7 of Victoria. They're still not having it with 50 Shades of Chef, but otherwise enjoy this exploration of the Industrial Revolution. Kelly has a broom for a hand, Amy is somewhat boring and everyone's gotta find out what happened with Aquaman! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy realy have the gigles in this recap of Victoria S1E6. They also fire Daisy Goodwin, experience the joys of Cecilia Buggin, explain sentient couch insurance options, dig into morganatic marriages, reveal that you can be horny and a good person at the same time, diss extremely slow southern accents, praise Wellington for living his best life, and eventually remember the name of the band Death Cab for Cutie. Kelly doesn't like to make a false idol of herself to herself, Amy fulfills her dream of being a punchline, and everyone's future selves have a lot to do. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy speak truth to Medium and call Louisa May Alcott out for her lies in their recap of Victoria S1E5. They also make fun of Kentucky and California, hail Coburg: home of the sinister laugh, take applications for ladle bitches, and smack talk parents. Kelly makes a sweet burn on the privy council, Amy imagines herself as a cokehead, and everyone wants Vicky's creative team to get it together! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We open at the milk bar as Kelly and Amy recap Victoria S1E4 and really get to know the "enthralling but prickly" Albert. The also delve into the upside of the opiod epidemic, declare England to be the Kentucky of Europe, wonder where servants sign up to get in on the scamming, suggest that Alex Jones should change his name, shame Vicky's fat-shaming, cheer the invention of philately, reminisce about horrifying Sesame Street movies, defend the Windsor uniform, and geek out about the Downton Abbey movie. Kelly has a Dench obsession, Amy has lady-in-waiting blindness, and everyone agrees it could be worse. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy encounter a real Michigan J. Frog situation in their recap of Victoria S1E3. They also hate on suburban Connecticut and Coburg, speculate about bonnets, decide Vicky's mom is a vampire, discuss the challenges of shaking a stalker who is also the queen, wonder why Sir John speaks in an evil accent 100% of the time, and finally meet Prince Albert! Thanks as always for listening--there's more UYDS goodness over at Patreon! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are back at it with a recap of Victoria S1E2. Vicky's mom does not have it going on, Victorian necklines are terrible, the House of Lords is just a lower key version of Mrs. Patmore yelling, the portrait of Jenna Coleman doesn't look like Jenna Coleman, various people are rude on nuns, no one can make a cake without grifting, there's an eternal flame at Buckingham Palace, King Lear is an idiot and Rufus Sewell continues attractive. Kelly says college is a trap, Amy is a Gemini betch, and everybody imagines a world where Vicky has access to emojis. As always, thanks for listening, and don't forget to check out our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rejoice! GLORIANA! Kelly & Amy make their triumphant return to podcasting with this recap of Victoria S1E1. Unfortunately, Amy's computer crashed while she was editing this episode, banishing them to the land of wind and ghosts, so we don't have our usual hilarious show notes. The episode itself survived, so please to enjoy it, because Amy also lost all her progress on Tomb Raider so she is very sad. We'll be posting new episodes weekly, and keep an eye on our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! Hooray, we're doing stuff again! Rejoice! GLORIANA. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The gaffes have it as Kelly & Amy return to explain why everyone looks like that on The Crown and Call the Midwife. They chat about how trans people are everywhere, Lucille Ball's natural hair color, purported bisexual James Dean, makeups, mainstreaming science fiction, the politics of African American hair, Rose's character on Downton Abbey, miniskirt Oxfordians, Jack Skellington things, the Peacock revolution, Anglican religious orders, and mantyhose. Kelly explains why she shaves off 30% of her hair, Amy wants a makeover, and it's good that we all have fun. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are finally back from their break with Part 1 of the long-awaited Fashion Backwards/Amy Repeats History episode for The Crown S2 and all of Call the Midwife! Their research is as shallow and unreliable as ever as they discuss how fun it is to say Givenchy when talking about Meghan Markle's wedding dress, which fictional Roz Elton John is most like, shipping Nassoon, getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Billy Graham watching the Watchmen, Giant Winston Churchill's closest lady friend, the return of Biarritz, and The Crown's inaccurate approach to history. Kelly forgot about men, Amy doesn't show her midriff, and everyone plans to marry Claire Foy. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's a special #sorrynotsorry binge-recap of Call the Midwife S6, featuring episodes 4-8! First, Kelly & Amy catch each other up on Top Chef, The Crown casting news, Kids' Baking Championship, and The Alienist. Then they get down to business, outing Patsy as not a Good Lesbian, declaring that time doesn't exist in Poplar, bemoaning the dying art of houndstooth, grappling with the weirdness of the Nobel Prize, imitating Sister Monica Joan, speculating on the market value of a fresh baby, and marveling at two people who make their livings pulling gross things out of people. Kelly wants a celebrity billionaire to fix her hip, Amy considers wearing more headbands, and everyone continues to not be famous. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are looking for lesbians in their discussion of Call the Midwife S6, Episodes 1-3, the show where everyone's pregnant until proven otherwise! They also get into pregnancy tongue twisters, diss medical residents, briefly welcome back Agnes Towler and narrative economy, and get in on Sister Monica Joan's television scam. Kelly still misses Nell Carter, Amy doesn't laugh when Kelly cries for once, and everybody hates Sister Ursula even though they love Harriett Walter. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly conveys her deep dislike of Call the Midwife's S6 Christmas Special to Amy and they flit through a discussion of the once & future Santa of Poplar, a confusing take on apartheid, Sister Nobody's gingerhood, sick burns on Nurse Boring, and cranky old white dudes realizing that people use water for things. Kelly cannot pronounce El Alamein, Amy could be a real cheerful jerk, and SOMEBODY still hasn't read the Phantom Tollbooth (it is AMY). See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly cries a whole bunch as she describes Call the Midwife S5 Episodes 6, 7 & 8 to Amy. She weaves a tale of surrogate screamers, Nonnatus House Yelp reviews, great bangs, the importance of wearing shorts, Bryllcreem, barge people, and unresolved mystery apples. Kelly has a lot of criticisms of Words with Friends, Amy's a walking Magna Carta, and sometimes new-timey people didn't know stuff! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly dives into Muriel Spark's excellent novel The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, the inspiration for the film of the same name. She figures out that Sandy is probably a Scorpio, assigns each girl in Brodie's set one of the Seven Deadly Sins, complains about Camelot, and gets excited about the rest of the book.If you can't get enough of Brodie's Set, catch new episodes weekly(ish) at https://www.patreon.com/upyoursdownstairs and enjoy our other Patreon exclusives like Whalecast, We Are Not Amused, and our 5 Maggie Smiths coverage! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy lead with Gaunt in this free preview of their 5 Maggie Smiths coverage! Get over to Patreon to pledge $1 or more for access to exclusive content, including Whalecast, We Are Not Amused & upcoming 5 Maggie Smiths recaps of Hook, The VIPS, Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire & Sister Act! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy finish their coverage of The Crown S2E10 because, luckily, one of them was not snatched away by a passing pterodactyl. They offer a course in Remedial Pimping & Adultery 101, agree that cruelty is ground zero for comedy, speculate about Liz's word of the day calendar, tell Margaret to keep her rumors to herself, celebrate the beginning of funny jokes in Great Britain, and hail the royal hooha doctor. Kelly can't pronounce "cuckolded," Amy plans to take a nap, and everyone hopes Peter Morgan gets it together in S3. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy struggle through their recap of the excellent but very painful The Crown S2E9. They discuss the foosball loophole, Eton's absurdly ugly uniforms, sweaters v. jumpers, little known facts about the Magna Carta and Peter Pan, whether Dr. Hahn and his weird mute secretary are vampires, chide Stephen Daldry for his timeline fuckery, rank the terrible parents on the show, and declare Greg Wise to be the cowbell of The Crown. Kelly transcribes 'em as she sees 'em, Amy has secret pizza parties with the Wachowski sisters, and everyone's grasp on basic Downton facts is really slipping. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In their recap of The Crown S2E8, Kelly & Amy chat about pants made of butts, laugh at moms who can't do anything right, log a Porchie sighting, wonder if Jackie Kennedy can properly inseminate a horse, imagine Liz's unlikely chain of animal enforcers, and are delighted by an apparent foxtrot! Kelly offers a glimpse into the madness behind her editing process, Amy tells a cool story about her Commodore 64, and everyone hates Michael C. Hall as JFK so much. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy open up an infinity mirror of gender in their recap of The Crown S2E7. They chat about turkeys in Oakland, little known facts about the Warsaw Pact, what it takes to make a Ryan Murphy, the actual worst parent on a show filled with them, childhood train trauma, the first and only "Lilibet" of the season, the royal swarm, and Replacement Mike. Kelly misquotes rap lyrics, Amy doesn't want Oprah to run for President, and everyone agrees we could have done without Phil & Liz's weird barmaid role play. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Bobbety Watch 2018 is over in Kelly & Amy's recap of The Crown S2E6! They cover the Patricia of forests, wonder what Tinky Winky is up to, mock the DODubs for thinking "jobs" are the same as "pointless makeworks that don't require any skills, encourage everyone to not protect Nazis, speculate about Liz's conversations with God, side with Phil for a change, and sing a silly song about Hitler. Kelly subverts the chain of command, Amy plays Diplomacy a lot, and everyone boos the brief return of Giant Winston Churchill See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Semantic humor abounds in Kelly & Amy's recap of The Crown S2E5 as they discuss Tommy LaMoustache's dogs who look just like him, ITV versus Netflix, Dudey McRapeface, stubble in training, the racism inherent to Looney Tunes, a semi-gay sexual orientation, Liz's ourobouros of the face, whether Patricia is an actual person, and the 1950s version of yoga pants. Kelly is worried that someone she cares about is a mean YouTube troll, Amy has 1.5 friend, and no one knows if the UK has nickels. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy agree that Peaky Blinders is a funny name for a show as they wrap up their S4 coverage. They wonder about Comrade Baby's upbringing, decide that Tom Hardy dissed Adrian Brody (not to his face), declare Abalama Ding Dong to be their best nickname ever, demand a band called Jack Dawson & the Titanics, congratulate Linda on coming a long way, baby, and marvel at Cillian's brass balls. Kelly doesn't get the point of boxing, Amy has never blinded anyone, and everyone completes their stated goal of pointing out that Adrien Brody assaulted Halle Berry in every single episode! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Someday Kelly & Amy will record an episode that doesn't reference Newsies, but that day is not today. In their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E5, they try to figure out who wasn't embarrassd by WWI, debate whether GRAAAACE or Sam Neil would make a better zombie, get nostalgic for Danny Whizz Bang & conrade Baby, beg for a line of Lady Blinders' coats, hope that Steve!Knight sometimes gets drunk and listens to the podcast, and remember that this whole series is a trick. Kelly shares her list of replacement Adrien Brodys, Amy's not cut out to be a salesperson, and everyone still refuses to watch Taboo. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Things are starting to not suck in this recap of The Crown S2E4 (in spite of its on-the-nose music cues). Kelly & Amy dig into Vanessa Kirby's powerhouse performance as Princess Margaret aka the Heisenberg of the monarchy, say hello to the original party satellite, tell Phil to keep his banana out of the produce aisle, suggest that Mrs. Mac use a pay phone to trash talk the PM, bemoan the decline of meeting people on buses, and admire Matthew Goode's tidy little hips. Kelly cries a lot, Amy offers a solution for the two-screen problem, and everyone likes Ike. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy introduce a 3-point system for fixing men in this recap of The Crown S2E3. They also decide that medical marijuana won't help A & E, the only marital aids available in the 50s were beards and crude wooden devices, Eileen is winning her divorce a la Angelina Jolie, Thursday is not even a good day of the week, and Mike wins the award for "most missed beard." Kelly loves watching men shave, Amy is too tired for her new comforter, and everyone has great ideas they're never going to execute on. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy celebrate the Summer of Menzies in December with their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E4. They cheer the return of the Peaky pimp walk, wonder why everyone's raggin' on Linda's mom, invoke the Halle Berry mafia, unexpectedly compliment Aiden Gillen, decide babies need beer, and beg Steve!Knight for fewer monologues and more Horse Bitch. Kelly makes a pie crust promise, Amy's busy violating the natural order, and everyone has drankened a lot of water. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy learn that some girls are more important than others in their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E3. They discuss Selective Grace Syndrome, the Luncheon Kingdom, try to figure out when Pol got her hair cut, lobby for the dissolution of Future Arsonists of America, diagnose Adrien Brody with lockjaw, decry Cillian's stupid pocket of convenient retconning, and declare Lizzie too good for the Shelbys. All this, plus Kelly finally learns what a Nintendo Switch is, Amy compares Peaky Blinders to Murder, She Wrote, and everyone has fun always carrying a light sweater. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy dive into Episodes 4 & 5 of Call the Midwife S5. They visit Paint Town, decide no one lives on the Isle of Man, and conclude that birthing is all about positive reinforcement. Kelly gets so worried about Paddington, Amy discovers a gift worse than socks, and everyone agrees this show is kind of a Dickens novel. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy recap Peaky Blinders S4E2. Full description coming soon!NOTE: We had a lot of technical issues on this episode, which was recorded remotely. We've fixed as much as we can, but you may notice some weird noise or gaps in plot. Our apologies and thanks for your patience. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy recap S5 Episodes 2 & 3 of Call the Midwife, and what a special guest they have in Mr. Mason! They also chat about Rosie the Riveter (for breastfeeding), dock sickness, a possible Victorian term for "chamber pot," the CTM Maris, and the show's inexhaustible fake suspense box. Kelly reveals that consciousness is a scourge, Amy doesn't own any boring dresses, and everyone agrees that Sweeney Todd makes a lot of sense in 2017. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy do their best for a change as they recap the very welcome return of Peaky Blinders! They also cope with Post Traumatic Downton Syndrome, discuss dark prayers, violate copyright law, celebrate two Christmases, ponder Britain's many accents relative to its modest size, laugh at Tommy Shelby's jokes, discover a new Charlie Murphy, and visit Arthur and Linda's farm of peaceful retirement. Kelly loves dangerous sociopaths, Amy loves dot matrix printers, and Billy Eichner is sadly no longer listening to UYDS. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy spot the first corgis of the season in their recap of The Crown S2E2. Things are looking bad for HRH the Duke of Edinburgh in an episode that boasts a lack of attorney-client privilege, activation of the Mountbatten family history subplot, Emma Thompson getting Greg Wise promoted to series regular, a reporter by way of Degrassi, and an infinity mirror of puns. Kelly misses a crucial butt-smacking, Amy identifies the symbolic line, and everyone hates Beardy Phil and all his empty promises. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly, Amy & all your favorite royals are back with recaps of S2 of Peter Morgan's The Crown! They compare Hollywood royals versus the real thing, break it to Mike's daughter that he loves her less than hookers, reveal something surprising about Horatio Hornblower, beg Liz not to read Phil's emails, discuss the logistics of getting rid of a ghost ballerina, enjoy a Mountbatten-style performance of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and identify the 3 people who can read Liz's guernal. Kelly lays down the rules for birthday party gifting, Amy remembers the horse party, and everyone agrees that Kelly & Amy invented the mustache bit. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

By order of their Patreon supporters, Kelly & Amy switch up the format with "Tell the Midwife:" Kelly sobs her way through Call the Midwife and then tells Amy what happened. In this episode, they cover Season 5's first two-part Christmas special and Episode 1. Get ready to party with Nurse Cranky, Nurse Boring, and Sister Nobody, reset the counter for fatal accidents at the custard factory, clothe babies in costers, pit capitalism against vows of poverty, and root for the return of Chummy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly finally makes good on her promise to dissect The Royal We by The Fug Girls, Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks, a book that has everything--words, foreshadowing & romance, even! This is a whole chilled out thing, and you can listen to this one for freesies as Kelly Googles where Megan Markle is from in real time! Get over to Patreon to hear the rest, people! https://www.patreon.com/upyoursdownstairs See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy finally make good on their promise of a Regency-era standalone episode to pair with their 1995 Pride & Prejudice recaps (available on Patreon)! In their usual hastily researched fashion, they discuss rickety Game of Thrones magic, the history of Latin American independence, bathroom stuff, Britain's stylish but otherwise reprehensible George IV, bundling, body lice, the invention of podcasts, the correct pronunciation of Fitzherbert, and more capes than is strictly necessary. Kelly finally learns why it's called the Regency period, Amy imitates Karina Longworth, and everyone has stars and garters! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are back with irritated sniping and an unexpected recap of the very upsetting 2001 HBO movie Conspiracy. Get ready for Rogue One spoilers, Millenial blindness, a new UYDS motto, Bugs Bunny's directorial debut, laws like ice cream, two anti-Semitic Martin Luthers, Instagram Farben, Peak Colin Firth, the importance of choosing a non-evil job, and the return of the Whore Institute! All this, plus Kelly hates Napoleonic twaddle, Amy won't read the spreadsheet, and everybody wonders if this movie should have even been made. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy risk heat stroke to bring you this recap of Wolf Hall S1E6, Master of Phantoms. They get wistful for the Whore Institute, complain about Game of Thrones, feel grateful that lawful divorce no longer needs to require murder, criticize Anne's beheading getup, whine about the lack of cutlery, assert that not every problem can be solved by swearing on the Bible, and advocate for their burial in the Westminster Abbey Podcaster's Corner. Kelly doesn't like the word fingering, Amy still wants to know what happened to Sokka, and no one should get their hopes up, UYDS-wise. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy implore you to never shake a wolf in their recap of Wolf Hall S1E5, Crows. They also remind everyone that the rift is in Cardiff, Gardiner is still ugly, girls' crossbows have ribbons on them, Jane Seymour is a super genius, and it's always time for modesty. Kelly wishes they were playing Duck Hunt, Amy takes remedial smelling classes, and the entire podcast is sponsored by num-nums! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy quote a lot of other tv shows in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E4. They also coin a term to describe a group of Boleyns, tell everyone to stop doing cocaine, appreciate punctuation humor, wonder if dick tapestries were a thing, talk smack about Bran on Game of Thrones, and declare this possibly the best episode of Wolf Hall (although there are still two more to go). Kelly talks about a weird dream she had, Amy hates asparagus, and everyone loves a good Family Matters reference. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Condragulations are in order as Kelly & Amy recap Wolf Hall S1E3! Strap on your trigger warnings as they cast "My Fair Lady 2: The Sexting," popesplain, introduce the Bible-52s, talk smack about Henry and Anne's wedding, and laugh at Thomas More. Kelly's been an asshole since birth, Amy is wearing cute sandals, and no one understands what Jane Seymour's deal is. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom celebrate the Willennium in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E2. They ID the Sam and Diane of Austin Friars, ask some witch friends about stuff, submit a show to the fringe festival, talk about Pride weekend two weeks late, figure out how you get myxamatosis, and head to the patent office. Kelly tells a cool story, Tom reminisces about Air Jordans, and everyone agrees kinging is heck of a gig. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom return from Patreon to bring you coverage of the first episode of Wolf Hall! They struggle to remember lines from Labyrinth, the name of England, the plot of Barry Lyndon, and the Merlin of America. Kelly chooses Rafe, Tom wins a Booker Prize, and everybody hopes you forget that we were supposed to be covering Call The Midwife instead. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom finally take the plunge into their long-awaited Patreon sponsored coverage of Pride & Prejudice! They agree that Jane looks like a giraffe, speculate about Caroline Bingley's fake geek girl activity, declare Mr. Collins a social disease, criticize CBS, and learn some very weird stuff about rat urine. Kelly's going back to therapy, Tom is like Mr. Darcy, and everyone explains the premium-cable hierarchy of social events in Regency England. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.