Podcasts about so melanie

In this Podcast we talk to Melanie Smith about the new Enfield Debt Churches Centre just about to be launched. There are something like 6 million people in debt in the UK and the average debt per adult is almost £32,000. Covid has increased the burden of personal debt and as the ravages of climate change impact on us in this coming century then it can only get worse. So Melanie together with a number of Churches in Enfield have got together to help tackle the problem of debt and they will be working with other organisations to help as well. They want to help families tackle debt, provide advice and support and also tackle some of the structural problems that make debt such a huge problem. They have also been talking to Feryal Clark MP about a covid-debt cancellation initiative and how this maybe taken forward. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/globalnet21/message

Welcome back to another episode of the crazy mind of George and today's is going to be a doozy. So ladies strap in to listen to this one, man, get ready to be put in your place. I have two of the most powerful women that I know in the world of digital media marketing, running companies, leading from the heart. First being moms, superheroes, super women. I don't know how they do it. I'm going to humbly sit by and take a lot of lessons today, but we're going to have some awesome conversations about story relationships, community, and how to best do that. So without further ado, I would love to welcome my two friends to the show. So Melanie and April, thank you for being here.  I know we're all going to talk over each other and it's just part of the fun. I think it would happen even in person, Melanie and I have done that to each other. We just start yelling at each other. It's all love. It's all love.It's all love. And  I'm into my first cup of coffee, so my energy will get greater and greater as we go because these 3:00 AM workouts are kicking my butt. And they're good. And let it be an integrity. I wake up at three 30. I get to the gym at three 45, but it's still got a three in it. So I call it 3:00 AM.See, as long as you guys say it counts, I'm good. I'm going to literally be teeing up conversations for me to get permission slips all day I'm like they said it was okay. They said it was okay. They said it was okay. So here's what I want to do. I love asking questions right out of the gate. And I'm going to put you both on the spot really quick and April, you're going to go first. So right before we started today, we were talking about,  April, you're coming up on like your five year anniversary of like when you launched your community, when you get into this. So my question for you is looking back over the last five years or even your entire career, what is the biggest mistake you've ever made in business? And what did you learn?April:   Well, probably two things I would say in sort of mistakes. One is kind of more broad scoped and the other, one's probably a little bit more tactical. But the broad scope one is feeling, and I still make this mistake to this day. So I'm still learning after 25 years of being an entrepreneur. But I would say the biggest mistake is just trying to rush the process.I'm a very impatient person when it comes to my own success and I get really. You know, like in a hurry, like why can't this happen? Like, go ahead and make this, you know, it's big visions, I'm a visionary. And I see these things that I know creating, and I want them to happen tomorrow. And I've been no way for 25 years, my entire career, you know, just knowing that there's a longer road in front of me, but wanting to constantly shorten the path.And I need to remember, and hopefully this will be, you know, helpful for others. If you're feeling that way. To really just enjoy the journey. You know, I teach around storytelling and so that's kind of the beauty of storytelling is enjoying the journey. And then you have the story to tell, but if we're rushing it all the time, which I tend to do in my own life, then you miss the story.You miss the lessons, right? So that's kind of the broad scope. One is I still to this day, catch myself doing that. And I constantly have to reign myself back in and just remind myself to enjoy the journey and pay attention to the stories, because those are the things that I need to learn so that I can go and share those with my audience.The more tactical thing that I would say that I've really learned. And this one I'm clear on, I wish I had hired help sooner. The faster, you can get some assistance and help in your business, even if it's putting your children to work for you, you know, or your neighbor, your babysitter, which is what I, how I started.I literally employed my babysitter first., and then just eventually have worked my way up to some employees. Now that has been crucial to free me up. To go and create and do more things actually create and do the things that I genuinely love doing and less of the things that totally bog me down. So if I could give a piece of advice to anyone, truly, no matter where you are, whether you're starting, you know, where I was five years ago, starting a brand new thing, or you've been at it for a while.You're kind of always going to tell yourself you can't afford it, you know, but you really can't not afford it. Getting help in your business. And that could be hiring coaches and mentors, and it can also be just hiring staff for virtual assistants, whatever it may be.  George: Totally. Yeah. Well, I think, I think, and we'll unpack that a little bit more once I asked Melanie, but I think, you know, it's what you said is you can't afford not.Not too, right? It's the, it's the trap, right? It's that stagnation that happens when we get there and by the way, for everybody listening and listen, I'm not a financial guy. I have one, but tax write offs, depending on what state you live in, you can employ your kids. I'd look it up. Google is your amazing friend. Check out those write-offs because there's nothing like putting family, child labor into a fact and teaching them lessons as we do it.  Like, but it's all love. It's all love. All right, Melanie,  you got the gap. You got the break, you know, what's coming. And I actually can't wait to hear yours, Melanie.So Melanie, when you think back. And just for everybody to give a little context, I'm going to let them share their story of like, how they've got into this and where they are. But Melanie came from a soul sucking industry into a heart centered industry. And so I am sure there are some lessons that came from being an out. I was talking about her being an attorney by the way, to now being where she is now. But Melanie, I would love to hear from you. And like when you look back, like, what do you think one of your biggest mistakes was? And what lessons did you learn? What do you carry forward with it now? Yep.  Melanine: This is not going to surprise you at all George cause you know me well, but the number one thing, I think if I could change things and I do believe like everything unfolds the way it should be, but they're self limiting beliefs.And let me just expand on that a little bit. you know, you, you grow up thinking you have of these character traits. And in fact, I was just talking to someone about this yesterday, cause I don't identify myself as a creative and she sort of stopped me in my tracks and said, Oh my God. Let me tell you 50 ways. You're creative, right? So you jump into these labels and those labels can create a lot of doubt and you start thinking, or at least for me, you start thinking I'm not good at this. I don't have a background in this. I don't have a degree in this. And what am I doing in the commerciall food industry as the former corporate and securities attorney.I mean, there's just, there's a lot to unpack there. But those beliefs in those doubts, really, it may still do it. I have not perfected this. They get in my way. And that doubt such a killer, right? I mean, it's such a, it slows you down and mindset is everything and a business, especially as an entrepreneur, because you get tested every single day. You know, one of my mentors in this industry says working in the food business is like getting slapped in the face and then hugged every day. And you're just hoping for more hugs than slaps. And that could be, I mean, that's so true, right. But if you don't have your head on straight and if you can't like look through all those doubts and go, you know what I was the corporate securities attorney. And now I own a food company. Like if I can do this, I can do anything. And so can you and I speak to a lot of women because our customers are primarily women and, you know they really identify with that belief, that fear of, Oh, but this is what I went to school to do. And this was my path.And you got to get out of that. And this is coming from someone who's super risk adverse, which by the way, doesn't go hand in hand with being an entrepreneur. But that's what they teach you as a lawyer is to spot risk and avoid them. So that those beliefs, you know, those doubts, those restrictions that I've put on myself, It really, it takes a lot to get there through them, but once you do, and once you build that, you have those little wins that build the confidence that you get.I mean you can always things start snowballing as George likes to say that you get momentum and then you get that confidence and it grows, but anybody who's experiencing that self doubt or. I don't have the training that allows me to do X. I mean, I'm just a perfect example of why you should just throw that belief out the window.George: So I and Melanie, and just for context guys Melanie and me and her husband and, and our, our families are friends. We're business partners. We know each other really well. So it's kind of really easy for me to pry the lid off of this one. And Melanie, I've had some deep, deep talks about this, cause both of us share a lot of.Similarities when it comes to mindset, but I think what's really important, Melanie. And I just remember this distinction. You talk about that doubt in your brain and like how it's there. I think there was also a big point. You and I had a conversation where we both acknowledge and accept that it never goes away. We just become aware of it. So now I know, like, you know, we're in the middle of, you know, craziness in the world and we're doing it. And I know there's times that thing creeps in. So how do you handle it now? Like how do you become aware of it? How do you mitigate it? What do you do to put into practice or shift it the other way? Like, I was just kind of love to hear your process.  Melanie: Absolutely. And I think if you don't shift it, it is the slippery slope of just going downhill.  So that doubt creeps in all the damn time. I mean, I think that any entrepreneur would tell you that, but for me, the awareness was step one. Right. And George and I, we did have really in depth comments.I think I actually cried, which I never cry. Like but just really figuring out where some of these and unpacking where these limited limiting beliefs came from was pretty powerful for me. So you gotta do that work. I think it's not only recognizing them. It's figuring out why they're there.For me personally, I had some, I had a lot of experiences, a kid is being picked on by other girls and bullied, and I don't think I realized the effect that had on my life. And the limiting beliefs that caused and all the confidence issues. And so really unpacking that and going, Oh crap. Now I see why I've developed the propensity to feel X or Y or do Z.And so when  it comes up, I pause and it is really that moment where I pause and I go, this is that ego or that belief, and it's popping up. And I take some really deep breaths and it sounds corny, but it is just a way for me to reset. Cause if I don't do that, it will just keep crumbling in, you know, I'm someone who I can get really anxious about finances, which by the way, if you own a startup or any kind of business like that, obviously all the damn time.So if I don't take that moment to just stop and pause and like, be aware and then go, okay this is coming up. I know it's coming up and now I get to pivot. And then I just think about something really freaking positive. And for me, like I'm a dancer, so it might be like a dance choreograph going through my mind.Literally, that sounds cheesy, but I have to switch it up to be able to turn it off and then I can just kind of plug through my day. Now I do a lot though, too, to work with this. I met, I exercise all the time.  I'm just now starting to focus on breath, actually your recommendation on the book I'm currently reading. And I think all that goes into it. It's not just something you can do. Like, Hey, we'll just recognize that limiting belief and then stop it. It takes practice. Yeah. But I think if you don't practice, then you'll sabotage yourself or at least that's my experience.  George: Yeah, no, I love it. And just the book that she's referencing, by the way, it's called Breath by James nester. If you've done breath work, or if you wonder about a lot of the stuff in the world I highly recommend reading this book. It kind of blew my mind on how much we have de evolved as humans from, inappropriate breathing, not chewing foods the right way and the effect that it has on our physiology, which then affects our performance. It's  mind blowing. And just, if everybody wants to try this cause Melanie's in my mastermind and we do breath work a lot, you know, like intra-nasal breathing things like this, but I thought that was enough. Now when I do two workouts a day, I literally. Cover my mouth or keep my mouth shut the entire time.And I challenge every, I try to go for a 45 minute walk and breathe through nothing but your nose and have some tissues for like the first five minutes. Cause you're going to detox some stuff out, but it's really powerful, like what it does to your body inside. And so before I get into anything deep on your pass, I have a question for both of you, because I think it's really prevalent and. Idon't know and April, I think it probably comes up in storytelling a lot. So you build community through the power of story. And then Melanie, you use your story to empower women to take action. But I think there's this, and I don't know, I'm not a woman, obviously. So I'm leaning into you guys on this one.I think it's really easy just to accept that, like women tell stories and they want to be emotional and they want to put it out there where like, Guys don't right. And I see this all the time. I see this all the time. Cause like I'm not going to be authentic. And then we just have like this expectation, but I want to know from you guys, when you're going through your journey is when you're in your stories and you know that these stories share and they inspire and they empower, how do you walk that line of like, is this intimate or is this authentic? Like, does this belong out there or does this belong in here? And it's kind of like that barometer, like how do you guys dictate? Like what gets shared to the world? Is it going to be positive impact? And so April, I kind of love to hear your thought process on this one, because I think it's prevalent across the board, but I would love to hear from your perspective.  April: Yeah, that's such a great question because I actually think that women still struggle with this. Quite honestly, even though we are more prone to storytelling and we're probably more prone to kind of sharing our stories with each other versus men, to your point, they still, we still have this filter that we run everything through of what are other people going to think. You know, what, if I'm not enough?What if my story doesn't matter? What if it doesn't have an impact or what if I scare the crap out of somebody that tell them they'll my truth. You know, so I think that we still have this really huge filter that women and this is really what I try and love to do at light Beamers is try to help women walk through that filter and get on the other side of it so they can share their story very boldly and brightly and in a positive way. For me I have found that I know when I'm hitting the story, either for someone else or even myself, when there's emotions. And when there's real vulnerability and Bernay Brown, you know, of course talks about vulnerability at length and with great brilliance.And I, you know, couldn't agree more that when we are tapping into that thing into our stomach, that just makes us feel so, you know, fearful of what are others going to think, or what if this is too much or what if it's not enough. And all of those, what ifs, those are really like powerful things to pay attention to.And that vulnerability is usually a signal that you're tapping into your truth and that truth should be shared. It's not too much, it's not sharing, things that are not appropriate. It's sharing honesty, your truth your real power or what the light that I'm, you know, think that our stories hold, I just had a call with a client who kind of like she's a podcaster and she has an episode coming out literally tomorrow. And two days ago after she finished recording it, she gets on SOS with me. And she's like, I am freaking out because I just shared some stuff on this recording and I don't know what to do.I think I need to erase it or delete it. And I was like, don't you dare because what you're feeling right now, Well, once you release this on Wednesday and you turn around and see the reaction it's going to get from your audience there, you're going to draw so many people closer to you because once you share your truth, it gives someone else permission, or at least takes a step towards sharing their own.And so it's just, it's the thing that builds us up in community. It's the thing that connects us. And so it's vulnerability that real pit in your stomach that. This makes me so nervous, but here's the real barometer. Ask yourself if not sharing it is an option, right? Are you going to feel suffocated and silenced and muzzled? And like, Oh my gosh, like a raging tiger in a cage.If you do not share that story. And the answer is, yes, you really know that's the story that needs to be shared.  George: I love it. I love it. Yeah. I have a, I want to unpack that, but now, I want to hear your thoughts on this one as well. And just to be clear, like I'm not saying that men and women do it differently, but we, in my experience looking, and I'm sure you guys can see this the way in which it's approached, like storytelling, doing marketing, like for whatever reason, it's seen different and there's different expectations. And I feel like the playing field needs to be leveled. It needs to be human.  Not, you know, man woman masculine, feminine, boom. Like it just needs to be human. Like story is everything and our voice and our story is what creates possibility for other people. And so, yeah. So Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one, because you are doing an amazing job of sharing your story and you unpack it piece by piece, but how do you feel about this?Melanie: Well I come from a really weird perspective because, cause I, you know, and I'm not trying to label myself, I've always been and described as a pretty unemotional at least outwardly woman. I mean, I was career woman at a big law firm and you know, any of showing any emotion and work just gets kind of beaten out of you. Like, you know, don't ever let them see you cry was the advice I got on day one. and I went through two pregnancies at that law firm. And I remember like crawling under my desk because like the hormones are asking, you know, acting up, but I'm like, I got release. I can't let anybody see me. And so after several years of that, you start hardening  and I really have experienced that.And I think the issue with that is it made me a little bit less relatable to a lot of other women because I'm not emotional. You know, my husband always tells me like, God, your emails are really direct. You're going to offend people. And I'm like, Oh, my God. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just kinda like that. Get to the point, you know, give me the facts. Cause that's what I, that's what I learned. I've always been very driven and come from a family that really pushed, you know, make good grades and be very driven and get to the top. And so it has taken the last couple of years when I, for the first time experienced personal development work and emotional IQ.And I really, I didn't have much, and it very eye opening for me to be like, Holy crap. I actually don't have any problems sharing my story, but it is, it's usually very fashionable, so it's not in a way that people can relate to. So I remember George went one of, maybe one of the first times it was at your mastermind. When I had talked about some of my experiences at it as a child and you either turned to me or Zeke, I can't remember Zeke told me, or you did. And you were like, Oh my God, look at how she says that there's no emotion to it. It's just like very factual. And that landed, you know, I'm like, Because I want to be relatable because of my story to help other women. and they can see how Jgenuinely passionate and I am about powering other women and making sure nobody's left out and inclusivity and propping other women up. I mean, that is really what I stand for. So if that isn't not coming across, like that's doing myself disservice, cause I am so passionate about it.So I think for me, I've had to take some steps to try to like, peel back the layers and put the wedge in cause some cracks and come out a little bit and it's taken some work. It's taken some really hard emotional work and I'm still doing it, but I'm committed to it because I do want to be related relatable and feel that people see me as being authentic rather than just like, you know she's not really feeling it. So is it real or what is she talking about? So I'm a working progress, I guess.  George: Yeah. Well, I think we all are right. I think that's the point of all of this. I know April is going to be like, that's power of story, document the process.  I love it. And the thing I'll say Melanie is, I don't think, I think there's a difference between being direct and being disconnected. Like I love the directness, like emotionally grounded, connected people are direct. I mean, you know, my wife, I love how direct she is most of the time, except for when I'm off the rocker and it like cuts through my soul and I have to let go whimper in the corner and I'm like, Oh, I'm such a bad little boy. And that had nothing to do with it, but I have to go work through that now. And then I go to the gym at 3:30 in the morning to get it out. I smashed weights to get rid of it. And so when, when you think about this for both of you, what I love and you both kind of tapped on this, right? I think and April, when you were talking about this, like really checking in and getting your story, when you get that pit in your stomach and you have that.I think that's the difference between sharing your authentic voice and creating a voice. And I think what we see a whole lot of now is we see a whole lot of check boxes when it comes to marketing and business, right? Like I'm supposed to say this, I'm supposed to post this. It's supposed to look that way.And on paper, the recipe looks like it would succeed and we all get the phone calls. It's not working. Nobody's responding. And so what are some of your gauges April? Like, how do you feel when you get into story? Like I said, a couple of years ago, and I think I live this way. I'm like life happens in the messy details, so fuck it. I'm sharing it and that's just what it is at this point for me. And that's been kind of my therapy, but there's also been times on the other side where I'm like, okay, I can't do it unless it looks  this way or this way. Cause everybody's doing it this way. And so how do you navigate that April? Like how do you look at like what to share when to share how to be like you versus like what world wants or what are your thoughts on that? When it comes to putting it out into the world?  April: Well, I think for marketing and branding, right? Which a large part of this audience is probably interested in that topic. There's definitely a piece of you that wants to show up on brand and on message and polished and the things that were taught and is attractive. And I believe we also can share that behind the scenes, pull the curtain back and be real. And so I don't think I don't really subscribe to a philosophy. It needs to be all one way or another. I believe in some sort of balance. Sort of teach a formula to my clients about  T I C S and I'm like, look just create content and share with your audience stories that can teach andinspire connect and sell or think of sharing instead of selling and selling makes you nervous.And so if you show as the branding person, the expert in your field, you can teach, you can share high value and share the brand message and then you're inspirational and you're connecting content and posts and emails and marketing can be more of like behind the curtain. Like, look, I'm just going to share with you April instead of like light Beamers.I'm just going to be who I am today and share with you and maybe share some of my fears. Share with you something that I'm experiencing right now that feels like a failure. Something that isn't as pretty and can be in the messy middle. It's not really polished and ready for that brand statement and it's going to go out on the website. But it can still be part of who I am. I am. And so I think it's important. This is just what I subscribed to. I think it's important that not only like brands and solo preneurs and entrepreneurs and small businesses, but I would really love to see larger corporations and organizations doing this more.There are a few out there that I think do it really well, but I still think by and large our culture in this country subscribes to the former. Like we've got to be buttoned up and polished and we can't really show our cracks because if we show our cracks, no one will trust us and want to hire us. I'm thinking it's really the opposite. If you went to show your cracks and show that you're human, they're going to fall in love with you even more and they don't even care what your prices are at that point. They're going to choose you over the RSP,they just got in the mail. We write our email, whatever. So I just. I wish we could. And Hey, it's good. It's a sign that I can be around for a while. Teaching what I teach, because there's plenty of people that still need to learn.  George: Not when we're doing an April, we're doing it. We don't have to wish we're doing it. And just for everybody wondering RFP is request for proposal. Just we're throwing around like corporate lingo over here. Nobody's going to start dropping like contract names. I just happen to know some of them. So yeah, no, I think I absolutely love that. And when I think about it, I agree by the way, there's very few big brands and things that I see, like put the human in marketing. But at the end of the day what I think most people forget, like sales is a transference of energy, right? Which means in order for a sale to happen, it has to be human to human, which therefore marketing is just a human being, showing up authentically to attract another human being. And then that's what allows the possibility for it to happen.And yeah, I think. I think too. And Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Cause you've evolved so much when it comes from like business, like you literally went from basically they told you be a man in a man's world as a woman, and I'm like, Hey, all of you go shove that shit down your fucking throat, quite frankly. And I'll kick you in the shins, right? Like that's part of the problem with your toxic masculinity. Bullshit. I'm sorry, that's another podcast Stephanos and I'll do it later.  it's coming, but when, what, when you think about that you were in that world and he, like, you have this voice, you have this, like, you're a mother, you're a powerful woman.You want to empower other women and you transition out and you came from the old boys club and then you had to kind of transition over and it's been a process I'm sure. How have you felt on that, because what I love about you that I see from the area outside is that you're not afraid. Sometimes you tell me you are, but I don't really believe you.You're not afraid to like, document your journey and go through that growth process. So how has it been for you versus like in the beginning when you were like, I'm, non-emotional, don't cry, don't be here to like, Hey, here's who I am piece by piece, I'm working towards it. Like, how does it feel? Does it feel different? Is it inspiring to you? Are you getting into that momentum? I would love to hear your thoughts on that.  Melanine: Yeah, it's been liberating for me. Just to go back where  when I was interviewing to work at the, this big law firm, which was a great job, I'm not bashing the law firm, but I remember. Being like, Oh God, I have to put on my resume that I studied abroad. And I was actually scared to do that because I was like, Oh, they're not gonna want to see that they're going to want to see like total dedication student government law review all this stuff. And then when I got there, as it turned out, most of my conversations in that interview, cause you interviewed with 10 people when you're going to a big law firm was about that period of time.And most of them said to me, God, I wish I would have done that. I was so concerned about what my resume looked like. I wish it would have done that. And look, that didn't flip me right then. I mean, there were still so worried about telling people you got pregnant. I remember I was so scared to just tell people it really it is an old boys club.It's still the case, even though. Things are evolving and it's been better. And I had some really strong female mentors at that firm for the most part. It's a good old boys club. It was in Texas. It was very conservative. So anyhow  you see a lot of that. So when I stepped out of that and dove head first into this.I was like, I'm going to become the anti-corporate  no more pantyhose. I'm not wearing a suit. We are going to have fun every day. A lot of our marketing is  cheeky and sassy. Cause I could never be that way at the law firm. I had to be very serious and professional. I'm still professional but I have to have fun. Otherwise, why am I doing this? So I think. For me, one of the first things we did, it was really spend a lot of time identifying our core values. Our number one core value is empowering women. Like every, everything that I post, I look to our list and go, does it meet one of these and it's not like I'm checking it and really worried about it.But my most recent example I'll give you, cause this is totally fitting here is. There was this, or may still be going on this Facebook challenge for women, you had to be invited by another woman to post a picture of yourself. And it was this women's empowerment, social media thing. And  I mean, talk about when you talked about ticks, I thought you meant like those triggers.I was like, what about all the women who don't get an invite? And I was pissed and I had to like, Step back and go, okay, I have to write a post about this because I am feeling very emotional about it and it's strong. And when that happens, I really do want to write about it because that's important for me in my growth process.But I also realize that the feelings I had were the antithesis of the reason for the post. it was supposed to be women's empowerment. And I really had this struggle of  am I going to be seen as this person who's bashing, what's supposed to be a great thing because I have this issue with the fact that it doesn't apply to all women.And ultimately, I just, couldn't not say anything like you were saying April. I had to say something about it.  I wrote an invitation to everybody in the world to post that. Cause I was like, you don't even invite, I don't want you to be sitting at home, waiting for an invite and feel like. You're not included.And so for me, it's, those things are very powerful and it's therapeutic for me to write that go through the process of writing the post that I did and actually put it out there and how it's going to be received. But I am my brand and  not everybody's going to love me, but what was interesting about that experience is I had about 10 women text me personally and say, Oh my God, I read your posts. I felt the same way. I just didn't want to post about it. There is so much power in that, like these women off the hook and there's nothing wrong with not saying anything, but how cool that there were people out there who related to me. So that is kind of, you know, I wish there was more of a formula.George: This is why I'm so stoked to have both of you, like leadership is an active role. There's no passive leadership, right? Like we are either,  evolving or we're dying. We're either progressing or regressing. And so Melanie, I love that. The formula is to show up and you said something. And what I loved about what you said is you were like, there was a point where I was like, I just have to fucking say something, right? Like that is leadership. Like that is authenticity.  And knowing, and the second part that you see said, and I don't care whether you're a man listening as a woman, listening to this, a business, an entrepreneur. Just starting or all the way up. You can never, and I mean, you can never turn down the volume of your voice and expect a positive result ever. It is a guaranteed success for failure. And so Melanie, I'm fucking proud of you. And I saw that post by the way, and I read it, but it actually like, I'll give you a perfect example.And I think both of you will appreciate this. Like we're in a car. There they are. It's all right, we got dogs. We got kids. We don't edit any of this out. This is unscripted. I told you guys, you don't want to get plugged into my real brain, but this is a little of the craziness that happens in there.Melanie knows more than anybody. We've had some tears. We've had like some brother and sister, like I fucking lie. Hey, love you. It's amazing. But this morning, I was sitting here and I meditated this morning. And like, we're talking about a lot of stuff. We're talking about authenticity. We're talking about our voice. We're talking about how to show up in the world, how to make a difference in people's lives, how to empower women, how to empower men. And this morning I was triggered as shit. Like I was triggered. I went to the gym, I got the workout out. I'm sitting here and I made the mistake of logging in Instagram before I did my journaling.And I see some state of the world and somebody responded to me and they're like, don't send me all this stuff. It's bullshit. And I was like, okay, got it. And then I was like, Oh, and my brain was running on, like, you can't be a leader with blinders. You can't pretend it doesn't exist. Oh, you have to. And like every part of me, and I mean, every part of me wanted to write this post and be like, you need to do this and you need to do this and you need to do this. And then like, I really sat with it and I was like, I need to do this. I need to do this. And I ended up writing a post about where I get to change in leadership, where I get to go deeper, where I get to go into the dark and where I get to explore those different things.And I think it's really powerful for everybody listening this to be as connected to yourself as possible and start to understand and learn your barometer. Like what that thing is.  I wrote an email about this. I think Melanie you read it? We have two choices. We can either be a thermostat or a thermometer.And our job is to be a thermometer. Because the thermostat just tells you what's happening, it posts out. It's a part of the problem. It's like, Oh, it's cold. Oh, it's hot, but it can't do anything about it. But a thermostat like, Oh, it's cold. Let me turn it up a little bit. Oh, it's hot. Let me turn it down a little bit.And I think it's really powerful. So Melanie, I'm proud of you for posting that and for writing that ending in that do you, either of you ever find it challenging? Like when you're. Like Melanie, for example, like you were triggered in April, you help people uncover parts of their story and you teach storytelling.Do you guys ever find it challenging when you get that, like pit in your stomach or something you want to share to like put it out there? Like, how does it feel? Do you just. You're like, I dunno, April, if you're like me, you're like, screw it. I feel it I'm shipping it. And Melanie like gets to a point where she's just boiling over and she's like, absolutely not.And I know Melanie like yells at herself too. I love it. It's like, but like, what's the hardest part I'd like, would love to know like what the hardest part is about like sharing your story or breaking through or sharing some of those things April. Like what's the hardest part for you in that. And then how do you overcome it? Because I know there's a lot of people myself included that still to this day, I write a post and I'm like, I can't, I just, I just can't write. And then like, I do this funny thing where I'll literally hit post and I'll run away and workout for two hours. I'll turn my phone off. I won't do anything. And my gauge is if I come back and I don't have any text messages, it was a good post. If I have a, are you okay? What the fuck did you just post to my, Oh, I should probably go read that again, but I would love to know your thoughts on that April.  April: You know, it's funny. I spent a good portion, really the first half or frontload of my career interviewing people. And so my job was to be a bystander and emotionless similar to an attorney apparently.To be emotionless and just be a vehicle with that story could be shared. And so I spent so much time and energy pouring into other people's stories. When I started building my business and especially using social media and, building my brand, so to speak online, it was really funny to me that I was like, Oh, I actually have to start sharing my story now. No one's ever interviewed me to find out how this works for me. And that has been such an interesting thing because suddenly I could more deeply relate to my own clients now who I've been like, Oh shit, what's the big deal. Come on. These are the things that matter, like let's do it, right. Like I just think let's just, it's out there.Let's, it's, you know, I know the magic that the story holds for other people, and I've always been focused on the audience what they're going to get out of it and what it can do for the person who shares that story. but when I actually had to start doing this myself and really tapping into my own vulnerability, It was hard as hell and it still is.Something that even though on a so-called storytelling expert or that I do this, and I've been doing this for 25 years, plus doesn't mean I'm immune that I just get a free pass and that it's really easy. And so it's those same things we've been talking about when I get that pit in my stomach.When I feel that vulnerability, when I feel my emotion.I have to examine it. And I just, I try to say, is this useful? I have a motto that when we share our stories, we shine a light. And I just think to myself, if I share this, would it be helpful for someone else? And if I can kind of run it through that barometer, then that's my free pass to share.Even when I don't have it all figured out, it might be a little messy. It makes me extremely nervous and so that has given me free given me freedom to share my story more, even though I'm still applying my own technique to myself, to pull out my own stories, to share if I can run it through and say, Hey, this is at least what's coming up for me right now.You know, maybe if I share this one, other person would benefit from it. And if so, then I just give myself full permission to share. There are still pieces of my story that I'm struggling with. There are pieces of my story that I've never shared. I mean, I've shared with. You know, confidant and my husband and people in my family close friends, but I have not made those known publicly. And, you know, I'm keeping like a little running tab, like, okay. You know, one day April, you've got to, you've got to get up the nerve to share those stories because I've already run them through the barometer. And I know that they actually would benefit someone else.But it takes guts. So share your story. And it takes bravery. I did a whole symposium this last year with women and it was all about stepping into your brave and we have to step into our brave to share these moments in our life that feels so scary. It feels scary to share what we're really thinking inside. So some days I went at that and some of them I'm still working on.George: I'd say that you always win, by the way, just so you know, and I don't, you said something you're like, Oh, I'm keeping a tally because I haven't shared. But then, because it requires me to be brave. You're already fucking brave. Stop. Stop. Yeah. Come over there and kick you in the shin. Like you're already brave stop. I was like, that was literally like the longest stretch hose. Most passive, like put yourself down. I'm like, no, you're such a powerful person. I do have a question about that though. When you said shared, it helps somebody else, do you ever share, because it just helps you like your journey, your post and your process.  Melaniel: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's probably the second part of what I would say about when you share your stories. You shine a light that light shines for someone else and little secret sauce, it's shines  for you, the brightest, right? It shines for you the brightest. And so then like, Our stories are healing that's why sharing the story can be the most healing thing that you could ever do for yourself, regardless of what it does for someone else, because you will get such clarity and peace.Andyou said something earlier about when you were sharing your story and learning to kind of break free of your life of the attorney and being, you know such, you know, never share your story, never let them see you cry and sweat. And you used a word that you used to describe it, which was liberating.And that is really such a freeing feeling to feel liberated. And so we can get liberated from our own chains that years of storytelling has been holding over us from things in our childhood, things that we've experienced relationships that we've had. If we can break those chains free. Then that's, what's waiting for you on the other side of sharing that story, right? So yeah, it can be about your audience and yes, it can grow your brand and yes, it can help you bring in money to your business. And yes, it can help you do all those things, but more importantly, more than anything else, it will show you what you're capable of and how powerful you are. Just because you owned that story. You learned to harness the power of your own story. At that point, instead of letting the story have power over you.George: That's stuff, that's the mic drop moment when you take it out of your brain and put it into the world, it neutralizes the charge. So, yeah. And it's something we all talk about. We all have stories. And April, I think you nailed something that. Is so it's like this broken paradigm in the world of life. Like not even business and entrepreneurship life that like, somehow there's a finish line, right? Like, Oh, I shared my story. It's gone. Or I won the race so I can sit on the couch and be a fat ass for the rest of my life. Like, no, like I think I referenced this a lot. Cause Joseph Campbell obviously put this in the hero's journey. And I think everybody misses the fact that after you slay the dragon, there's still another step. And they missed that one where you have to go back and teach the village. And then when you're done, another journey starts and the dragon gets bigger.  Melanie: It's a new level of next devil, right? I mean, you're right. It's like you break through to one layer and then guess what? There's a whole another storyline waiting on you that you've got to go in and break through that one too. So it's a never ending process, but it's a good process because that's part of personal development and growth.  Melanie: Totally. So Melanie, I have a question for you. So now that you're on the other side of this, right? When you're went from vampires to like, heart-centered like giving life, right? Like we'll pick our analogy.What was the hardest part, because I know there's a whole lot of people here that are listening that hear this, like I have a brand, but I've never shared my story. Or I am sharing that story. The one that everybody wants to hear.  So, Melanie, what I would love to hear from you is like, what was the hardest part for you?And then how did you step through that? Because obviously it wasn't an overnight thing where you're like, okay, I went from lawyer to, I'm going to run a CPG food company. And like you have those values. And just because you define the values, doesn't mean like every day you're like, I'm going to go dance on camera today. I'm going to go on Instagram. I remember when we met, I was like, yo, goon camera,  go. And I think I challenged him, like, go live if ever do for 30 days or we're not going to be friends. I make these like completely empty threats all the time. Cause I don't really know how else to make them, but I was like, just do it.So what was the hardest part for you? And then now that you've shared your story and you're documenting your process, like, how has it changed your thinking on like how you show up in the world and how you show up on social?  Melanie: Yeah. I mean, honestly, and this may be, this is going to sound very simple, but the hardest part for me was allowing me to be myself.I mean, I had this thought that I needed to portray this image of a leader and that meant professional and serious. ThenI knew I was getting away. I knew I didn't have to wear a suit anymore, but I just had this belief that people gonna buy my product if I'm really myself and are they going to think I'm serious? All of these  questions were going around in my head. And so it took a while to migrate over to I can be totally fine. Making a total ass out of myself on any. Social media posts, or even though it still scares me to go on and basically live. I don't know why. I mean, I can talk in front of a room.No problem. But you put a phone with really could be no one on the other end in the, , it starts and I'm like, ah, I'm. So it's funny how that works, but it was really just giving me permission. Like it's okay. It's okay to be myself and. What I was finding as the more and more I would do that. And I would be authentic and I would share things.It's kind of like when you're a teacher and you're in the room and someone's afraid to ask a question, but it turns out 10 other people have that question. I mean, same thing. I would start posting about things that were personal and people would actually engage with me like, Oh, I'm really having that issue.  How did you combat it? And I realized that this stereotype of a leader that I had learned and had been sort of ingrained in my mind for so long maybe isn't wrong, but it just wasn't me. It just wasn't me. So when I was not offensive or when I was trying too hard or when I was not being myself, which by the way is how I felt my entire career at the law firm. I just didn't feel like I'm right then I didn't really feel satisfied. I mean, I didn't feel fulfilled and  for me, I get grounded every day and my mission of helping other women. But if I am not being authentic, it almost, it's like a can't. I can't achieve that balance where I feel like I'm making progress and really honoring what's important to me.So I would say. That would be the hardest thing. I mean, it's, it goes back to those limiting beliefs, like get out of your own way. Like who cares if you look like an ass or, you know, for me I'm such a perfectionist, like if I've words misspelled it post healthcare. So it's really just been dealing with that. I bet, I guess.  Geroge: Yeah. Oh whatever we want to call it. I mean, we could put labels on all of this all day, right? Like the unattachment being the final goal of all of this before I forget, by the way, guys, I'm loving this conversation so much. I normally tell people where to find you in the beginning of the episode.So I'm just going to seed it now, cause we're not done, but April, would you mind sharing for everybody the best place to find you to learn more about storytelling, how to get into your world and community? Yes, I'm pretty easy to find mine my brand is light Beamers.. And I have a community on campus, Facebook, a private Facebook group called the light Beamers community. And that's probably the best easiest, and it's freebest place, easiest place to join me and just start learning some of the things that I teach in there. Plus it's all about community. Because I'm really big on getting more women to share their stories. And so I've just created a platform for them to have a safe place to do it.You know, like it's scary to do this for the first time, if you've never shared your story before. And we have a lot of examples in our world of being attacked and criticized for our words. And the light Beamers community is a place where you can come and never be criticized or attacked. For exploring the power of your own voice. So I would say join there first and yeah. If you want to learn more about what I do and what to offer, you can go to light beamers.com.  George: I'll say this too, the worst place to be as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a human is in an echo chamber alone, nobody in their corner. So the more places that you can find yourself aligned with the mission, like Benjamin Hardy talks about this and personalities and permanent, right?Like you have to envision who you want to be. If you want to be that person that wants to share your story, be around people that shared their story. If you want to be that. $10 million business owner be around people that have built it, been there or are there. And so you are future pacing yourself to get there.So go check out April's group and then Melanie, let's talk about it. Where does everybody find you?  Melanie:  Also you can find me on social mainly Facebook and Instagram and it's Empact bars,  EMPACT bars. And then I also have a private Facebook group for women only, sorry, dudes, just for us, which is out there, women. And then you can find me@impactbars.com. If you're interested in our products, we've got, we're a natural snack food company for women, but we're mission based. So my passion is helping women. And a variety of ways.  George: just full disclosure. I am a partner in that company and if you don't go support, Empact bars, I'm not going to support you. There's one of those empty threats again.but I will sayI'm so for those of follow me, I'm doing at high speed daddy, one of our other companies, I'm doing this 75 hard challenge that Andy Frisella put together, Melanie is in the middle of two. What day are you on Melanie? 14 14. I think I'm on day 36 today.And so for everybody, what is that? It's two 45 minute workout today. It's 10 pages of reading a progress picture every day, a gallon of water, and thenno cheat meals and no alcohol basically as the whole thing. And so I'm dialing in my macros and I've never paid attention before, but I'm actually just trying to get into this.And it's almost impossible because I'm an adult, I'm an adult. Addict to condiments, right? Like Manet's number one, olive oil number two, creamy Buffalo sauce number three. And I realized I was knocking down like 300 grams of fat a day and they're healthy fats, but when I'm eating those with carbs,  I have a lot of energy, but not really anything else moves on the scale. My body, my pants tend to get a little bit bigger. And so I've been playing hang with it, but we made it this new product and God, I don't even remember when I had it for the first time, but we have this trimmed down shake at impact and it is a cinnamon sugar dream donut in your mouth, especially when you make it right.So for everybody listening, I want you to go get this trimmed out. Shake, go to EMPACTBARS.COM We have bars too, but this shake will change your life. Get get the powder two scoops with 12 ounces of macadamia nut milk, and a banana with some ice cubes. Absolutely mind blowing. You're welcome. I'm just, you can thank me in advance. You're welcome. Go get it. That's it. Okay. We'll get back to the interview now. Thanks. Delicious. Yeah. Well, April, we'll send you some, I mean I literally what I love about Zek and Melanie and they don't admit that they're addicts yet. But they are the biggest sugar and sweet addicts I've ever met. They just pretend not to be because they make healthy products that tastes like things you should not be able to eat. Like that's the best way for me to describe them. I'm just waiting for them to come out of the closet. They're like, all right, guys, we ate 84 donuts a day for 12 months to figure out how to make this flavor.Because every single product is like chocolate date night and peanut butter party in your blah. And I'm like, how do you even do this? And I just get to be the guy that gives marketing advice. So. I dunno, I have the easy job I get to eat it, drink it. Maleny. You can own that. You're a sugar addict. It's okay.  Melanie: I'm totally a sugar addict so much so that we created a sugar detox plan. It's like, Oh my God, it's ironically, it's zero sugar. But like, Oh my God, you put a cookie in front of me and I cannot resist. So that is why all this challenge that George was talking about. You get to design your own nutrition plan, which is one thing I love about it, because if it were no sugar, there's no way out, huh? Doing no meat, which as you know, a West Texas born girl who grew up on chicken fried steak, it's pretty hard. I've never gone this long without me ever in my life. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm just giving it a whirl and I'm going to see what it does, but, um, but it's been interesting, but I couldn't do no sugar.George: No way. I don't think, I don't think any human should, I don't. I think we have too much sugar in the world, but like, I think you have to have that amount that like the level of happiness. We've got to live a little bit here. So choose the cleanest one. You can and have some fun with it.So we've been talking a lot about like sharing our story, authenticity, vulnerability, but I have a question for both of you. If you could change anything about the current state of the market, as an entrepreneur, as a woman, entrepreneur, as a storyteller social media, like when you look at the world that we live in and all three of us work online, we have social profiles, we all have this. If you could change anything in that space, April, what would you change and why?  April: I would changed  the, just the nonstop pounding of mixed messages that we get and that we are overwhelmed by. and I'm kind of raising both hands over here because I suffer from it. And I also know that I'm also sending signals out there.So I struggle with that because I know I'm out there trying to get my message heard and I'm out there playing the game and I'm also on the receiving end and everyone else also trying to do that, so I wish, or we could come up with a way that we could filter our news feeds in a way that those names out there they're like Facebook and Instagram don't get to control because of money. That we get to control because that's really who we want to be here. I'm just in out balance, so I'm trying to figure out how to be a voice in this space and taking up space with someone else and being really cognizant of time and energy that someone is spending with me consuming my content, making sure that. I try to give as much value as possible because I understand they're also being pounded. So I don't know how to fix that. I'd love for you to share George, your mind of George on that one how we can really true beat the algorithm. I know it's with relationships, that's what you teach. And that's what I totally subscribed to. And I just have to keep reminding myself to just follow that, just to follow that path that keeps sharing my story. To encourage other women and the people in my life, the community that keep sharing their stories and that at the end of the day, it'll beat the funnel or algorithm out there. And to, again, going back to the very first lesson I shared with you at the beginning of this recording, which is just to remember to enjoy the journey. Because again, I want to like 10 X everything by tomorrow because that's just my human nature. And I kind, I'm sure everyone else, a lot of people feel that way. Why can't we just have it by tomorrow? Why can't the funnels and everything to be working.  George: Can you could get and read an entire book in one minute, since your own story, you wouldn't read any books. There's no journey in that process. And I remember at the beginning, you're like, Oh, I'm impatient. Like I want it now. I think personally that the solution to that is twofold. Number one is that. Us as the influencers, as the leaders, as the entrepreneurs, as the storytellers, we have to have tight containers and consistency. Cause I think   on our patr I think it's an equal 50/50. We contribute to the problem by being loose and bowing to the rules of the game that we think we have to play.And then on the receiving end is people thinking that over consumption is going to somehow give them  more and more when an actuality it gives  less and less. And so the way that I think about it, right. You know, shopping Malls aren't gonna exist in a couple of months. But when I think about like, when I was like 16 years old, I used to walk by the mall and they would always have that teriyaki chicken sample on the toothpicks. And I would walk by 45 times and never grabbed one. Then I would grab one. I always knew it was there though. I could smell it. I knew it was there. I would see it. There were times I wanted to eat at times that I didn't times I took four samples. Didn't buy any food and times I bought a sample and bought the entree and like, that's the best way that I can describe digital marketing. And like how it should be. When we talk about your story. It's about being consistent and congruent, what you hit, right? Consistent and congruent playing the long game. And then from the consumer side, respecting the customer journey that all of us go through buying cycles different. We go through emotional cycles, life cycles, financial cycles, relationship cycles, and all of those have implications on the way in which we consume, create and grow.And so it has to be on both sides. And so on the consumer side, We also as, because we're all consumers, you guys consume my content. I consume yours. I eat a whole shit ton of empact bars in that shake. Like I consume, but we all on both sides of the coin have to be intentional about how we do it.And we all have to have that container of like you can sit here all day, listen to this podcast. You can listen to every podcast that we've ever put out. It's not going to change anything in your business. Not whatsoever. It's going to change your brain. And most likely it's going to hurt your business, increase the reactants to changing because now you feel even more fricking stuck.  And so I think that it's understanding that we're responsible on all sides to lead by example. And the one thing  that I sad over and over again is that everybody has to understand that the only reason the game is still played, the way that it is because everybody accepted the fucking rules.This is not a dictatorship. We make the rules based on how we play the game every day. And so that's why I challenge everybody to play the game and be where you want to be and go on one platform. If you want to go on one and not on the other seven, right? Write an email every day. If you want to, or write one a week, I don't give a shit, just pick one and being consistent so that we can grow and you can grow. You can create those relationships and move forward. And so, yeah, that's, I think about this one a lot. I really. I mean, I. I reflect on this. It's probably one of the biggest questions I ask. And like, obviously we teach relationships,beat algorithms. But that all comes from us getting plugged into ourselves.Because relationships only work if you know who you are who your team is, you know, who your customers are and in burst on that one. So,that's a really good one. And I love that too. And I think it's really important to be self aware.  April what you said is you're like I send mixed I'm impatient, like. You're not any of those things. Those are things that you have in the moment. They're not who you are, but it's the awareness of those that allow you to shift them. And that's really the secret sauce here. So Melanie, I'm going to, I'm going to X the conversation over to you. I'm going to toss it over to you with the same question. Like when you think about maybe it's your role in this world, an Empact bars, or maybe it's you and your journey, or maybe because you and I live in the CPG world where really shooting relationships. People take, they want everything upfront. It's all transactional. If you don't have money, you don't exist. Like if you look at this world of entrepreneurship, like in any part of it, what is one big thing that like you would change or want to see done differently?  Melanie: Yeah. I think one thing I've noticed recently, and even with myself is of course there's a lot of fear and there's a lot of negative feelings right now people are unsettled, unclear what the future holds and they're scared. And. I've seen a lot of people just become paralyzed and have made the decision that like, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna wait it out. I'm gonna live in inaction for a while. And I actually think that's the worst thing we can do right now.Like rather than letting this situation and environment define me I'm choosing to define,, take control of this situation and to find it myself. So look it was not hard for me when this first hit, I have three young kids. I would add a new business. I'm trying to do virtual schooling, which is a total crap shoot when you have young kids and one of my kids is too. I mean, it was laughable what we were trying to do every day in the house with three kids at home and a business. And. It was very easy for me to get stuck and I'm not out of it. It's been tough. I mean our business, every just like every other business we've had to pivot. And, but, but what I've done is really I have done so many things to not let this define me.I'm like, you want to give me a 75 hard challenge that's going to kick my ass. I'll take it. you want to throw a new business idea at me. I'll do it. I'm experimenting with breath, work and new kinds of meditation. And it's really interesting cause for someone who personal development, it was just not on my radar until about two years ago.  I just didn't understand it. I didn't like the word self help book. I still don't love that word. It's a bad description for what they do, but you know, I was defined by my environment and so I can relate to people who are, but I think inaction is the worst thing we can do right now. I think waiting it out.Like I understand the people are in tough situations and I mean, Everybody's situation is unique, but for me, I'm going to do everything I can, if anything, just to help me financially, but also with my mindset. So I'm not, you know, the statistics on depression right now and alcoholism are growing every day and like, I don't want, I don't want to be there and I'm committed to not letting that happen to me.So it may look really weird what I attempt to do. I mean, I may do some crazy shit just to get through this, but for me, at least I'm taking the steps to take control of it. And so if I could have anything changed and I'm certainly not trying to be judgmental on anybody, but it's just taking that action, join a challenge, like work towards something, be inspired. I mean, I think you right now, though, less and less of that is falling in our laps and we have to make it happen ourselves. Totally. And that's fine. That's what I think it would be.  George: This is my podcast. Nobody's fucking coming to save you. Nobody. And like, I mean that with love, right? Like I even looked at the beginning of this when this happened. And I was like, Oh, we'll be fine. Oh, we'll be fine.And now I'm two companies down and. Almost six figures a month lost revenue. I'm like, Oh shit. Okay, cool. And then if I look back and here's the thing, I look back, I'm like, what could I have done differently? And I'm like, Oh, I could have done this. I could have done this. I could have done this. I'm like, great. I couldn't do it then, but I can do it today. And like, that's the path forward?  Like Stefano says thisone of my business partners who coaches men and. He's like, you know, we ask all the time, like, how can I better serve? How can I better help? And the answer is always, you have to deepen your practice to deepen your service, right? Like you have to go in, there's a lot of opportunity here. There's a lot of loss. There's a lot of pain. And there has been for a long time in entrepreneurship which by the way, I think is one of the.The silver linings in this is that it's putting a magnifying glass on like how unsupported small businesses are, how tilted in the favor of big business and power control and everything is, and now it's really coming o

So Melanie and I are taking a little break this week, but we're sharing an episode that will be new to most of you. Last month on Patreon we did a Closer Look episode on health and body image, and we got more feedback - comments, DMs, emails - than we have on any other episode. People's reactions were encouraging and candid and inspiring. Given that, we thought we would share the epsiode here, too. Here's what we told our Patreon folks when we originally posted it: For this Closer Look episode Melanie and I decided to talk about health and weight and body image and etc. It's something that I write about in a chapter of the new book, and several of you have asked if we might be willing to talk about this very thing. Melanie and I have both found ourselves in not-great places with our physical health over the last several years, so I think no one is more surprised than we are by how much we have grown to love being active. So. You're going to hear a some of our stories from our teenage years through college and adulthood and now into middle age. Two really different body types, two really different histories with food and exercise - but both of us hitting our 40s and realizing that something needed to give. (Also both of us getting really angry at our husbands before we made a commitment to ourselves and our health. AS YOU WILL HEAR. :-) ) All that to say: no doubt Melanie and I are both works in progress. But we both have gotten to a place where we feel strong and we actually like to move. I struggle with my weight more than Melanie does - this is no secret - but I am so grateful to be in a place where my level of activity helps to quiet the negative voices in my head. And I'm also grateful for friends like Melanie where I can talk about this kind of stuff openly and without judgment. That has been such good medicine. Hope y'all enjoy! p.s. Quick disclaimer: if you have dealt with an exercise or eating disorder, this episode may be not be the most enjoyable for you, especially if you struggle with negative feelings about your physical body. We certainly don't want to trigger that or say anything that might make you feel anxious, so I just wanted to make you aware that we talk a lot about exercise and size and body image in this episode in case it's healthier for you not to listen. And also, if we could, we would give you a big hug right now - because you are awesome. :-)  If you would like to join us on Patreon, we would be delighted to have you. For $5 a month (plus tax, in some states), you get a Closer Look episode - where we talk about something we're both thinking about or obsessed with or analyzing like crazy - and a Q&A where we answer Patreon listeners' questions. It has been a ton of fun, and if you join now, you'll have access to all the old episodes as well as the new content. It's easy-breezy to sign up. Show Notes: - Stand All the Way Up   - This is a sad state of affairs for show notes - but we mostly talk about our personal stories instead of products. The good news is that maybe this episode won't cost you a lot of money for new skin care products. :-) 

Occasionally we have big news to report on the podcast, and this is one of those times (well, at least for us): Melanie's internet has been fixed. Like, REALLY fixed. Like, the AT&T technician of the decade was assigned to Melanie's house, and he GOT IT HANDLED. So Melanie's going to tell us all about that, and she is literally so keyed up by her newfound internet speed and reach that her microphone has never been less stationary. At one point I wondered if she was putting things in drawers. But listen - she deserved to not worry about that microphone because INTERNET SPEED APLENTY. What a glorious day. We also discuss my calf injury (sorry - it's a pandemic, so we have to talk about things like muscle strains because we're not leaving the house very often) and some fun finds to make the day-to-day more enjoyable. Like good bobby pins. Because you can never underestimate the power of a good bobby pin. Enjoy, y'all! Become a Patron! Show Notes: - 1917 - "Paper Dolls" by John Mayer - AirPods Pro ($15 off at Amazon) - "You like these little bags you just hold" - The wallet / clutch I decided on - Outer Banks - Dead to Me - Sophie's They Still Write Love Songs playlist on Apple Music - Sophie's They Still Write Love Songs playlist on Spotify - spiral bobby pins - Radical Night Repair (this is the "shed like a snake" peel that Melanie did a couple of weeks ago - and she loved it!) - Cabales Seamless, Wireless Sports Bras (Melanie's new favorite comfy bra) - C9 Champion's Women High Waist Capri Legging - Living Proof Livestream Sponsors: - FabFitFun (coupon code BIGBOO for $10 off your first order) #fabfitfunpartner - Magic Spoon (promo code BIGBOO for free shipping) - Best Fiends (download for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play)

This week I spoke with Dr. Melanie Matheu, the Founder and CEO of Prellis Biologics.  Dr. Matheu has a background in Immunology, Chemistry, Physiology, & Biophysics…and what have you done lately? I first met Melanie when we were virtually introduced by a mutual acquaintance. The intro email said something like: “Teddy - please meet Mel who is one of the fastest rising CEOs in SF (and) who might keep us all alive 20 years longer!  She is looking for a coach. I thought of you.”  Indeed. Well that captured my imagination in a heart beat. So Melanie and I had a chat and I discovered Melanie’s vision is to eliminate the need for organ donor lists…more on that shortly. When I asked her how can I help she said she’d been in academia all of her adult life. Now I’ve started this company – how do I be a CEO. I’m in is all I said. Rather than me try to explain it any further we’ll let Dr. Matheu have the floor. They say there are no stupid questions…that’s what I was sure hoping as we sat down to talk. Check it out.

On today's episode of She Walks In Truth I have a meaningful conversation with author and speaker Melanie Redd. She is a woman who loves to encourage, equip, train and motivate women in all areas of their lives. Melanie also has great skills in helping others with their businesses. She’s been trekking up the social media mountain and lifting up the name of Jesus as high as she can while doing it.   Her Testimony   Melanie was blessed to be brought up in a Christian home and can’t remember a time when she wasn’t in church. Of course, she had heard the name of God and went to Sunday School, but she didn’t yet have a personal relationship with Jesus. After hearing someone else’s testimony at the age of 11, she talked with her parents to solidify her relationship with Christ – wanting to ensure she could spend eternity in Heaven with Him. So, she let Jesus into her heart that night and started a complete change in her life.   How to Win Your Child’s Heart For Life  Melanie that many of her daughter’s friends, at the age of 18, really cut off their relationship with their parents. So Melanie asked some ladies that mentored her about this and they said, “You have to win the hearts of your children.” Specifically from an early age, so that they want to come and see you once they’re out of the nest. There are some guiding principles on how to do this especially during middle school and high school when these relationships can get strained. Melanie wrote the book to help parents not lose this connection.  If you haven’t set out to do this, don’t panic. Melanie believes you’re never too old to work on regaining trust with your children. You need to build a bridge with love and relating to them, not lectures and complaints. Meet them where they’re at and find a commonality with them. Melanie sees some parents focus on winning the battle, not the war. They may get their child to stop from getting a tattoo or going to one party, but there is so much anger and hurt caused that they start to lose their child’s heart. Take the helicopter view and see how you can form your relationship for life without worrying too much about how long their hair is or how late they are staying up.  Stepping Closer to the Savior  This is a guide Melanie wrote for new believers or those who have been in church but never sought to grow their faith. It’s written to not be “churchy” so anyone 12 and up could pick it up and use it. It’s a self-teaching book that can be used to help your own discipleship in sharing God’s word with others – whether it’s on the street, in your church, or at home with your spouse and children.   Stop and Rest   Another point Melanie highlights is how easy it is to get burned out in ministry. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you expect to help others? A big message we would like to share with you is to make sure you stop and rest. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising at all? Are you getting away from your kids for a bit and having date nights? Make sure you have a full cup, as it’s a surefire way to help share what blessings God has given you with others.  Links  www.MelanieRedd.com  Amazon Author Page 

THE CHALLENGE WITH WEDDING VOWS: Wedding vows are beautiful expressions of love. When we go to a wedding, we want to hear about the couple’s love for one another. We are moved by the deeply sentimental proclamations. We are inspired by the power of love, demonstrated through a reading, scripture, poem, original vows or some combination. However, vows are often aspirational and very hard to follow. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear more explanations, stories and examples.) Last fall, my husband and I went to a friend’s wedding. They got married on a yacht and had a small ceremony. The groom is someone who I used to take volleyball lessons from and is an amazing teacher and coach. Coach John Wooden has had a huge influence on his teachings, so it was fitting that he incorporated a quote from Wooden: “Promise to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit trouble to press on you. – John Wooden” Truthfully, I love these expressions probably more than most people. And I work with couples all the time and see how they do not have practical direction with their commitments. Their vows do not support their practice of loving each other in the every day moments of life. Not only do vows tend to be more aspirational rather than practical, they tend to be very general and vast. Most people who have explored how to set and accomplish goals have come across S.M.A.R.T. goals…which stand for Specific. Measurable. Actionable. Realistic. Time-Bound. Now, I am not suggesting that couples turn their vows into goals. However, I do think it can be extremely helpful for couples to have working agreements and operational commitments. COMMITMENTS TO GUIDE US: Back in 2006, Reid, my now husband and boyfriend at the time, were taking a short road trip. We were in the car and I remember him asking me what I thought about commitments. I told him that I thought commitments are most powerful and work best when they are seen as self-commitments and guiding principles. Commitments that I hold myself to and work towards. It is my integrity and desire that give me the motivation, rather than the obligation we often think about when we imagine a commitment to someone else. EMPIRICALLY SUPPORTIVE MARRIAGE VOWS – AN EXAMPLE A couple of years ago, I came across this article “How To Craft An Empirically Supported Marriage, by Melanie Tannenbaum” I saved the article because I loved the example of how practical and scientifically proven ways of loving could be woven into marriage vows. Granted both partners are psychologists, and they understand “that one of the most challenging tasks in a person’s life is successfully navigating romantic relationships.” They wanted to be mindful and intentional about their commitments and not leave the success of their marriage up to chance. Here are some of their vows: “On a daily basis, think about what your spouse does that you value, and verbally express your gratitude. No one is perfect, and focusing on your partner’s shortcomings while overlooking their desirable qualities doesn’t enhance anyone’s enjoyment of the relationship –- not your partner’s, and not your own. So Melanie, when Justin is ready to go to bed a solid three hours before you, let him know that you appreciate how conscientious he’s being. And Justin, when Melanie frenetically dances around the house to Tropi-Pop tunes at 11 PM on a Tuesday, let her know you appreciate her spirit and vim. However, everyone fights occasionally, and what determines whether couples stay together isn’t whether they fight, but how they fight. When disagreements arise, listen to your partner, acknowledge the role you had in the conflict, focus on specific behaviors rather than criticizing your partner’s personality, and share concerns in a polite, empathetic manner. Respect each other in good times and bad. It’s also important to create shared positive experiences. Hobbies are a great way to do this, and some are better than others for promoting good relationships. Activities that let you face challenges together as a team are an ideal way to build a stronger bond. As a bonus, exciting activities that increase your heart rate will let you benefit from misattribution of arousal. So, for the sake of your relationship, continue traveling, exploring, mud-running, moving cross-country, and taking risks — as a team. Although it’s good to do things together, it’s also important to support each other’s personal freedom and autonomy. People enter into relationships because they admire the other individual. Help your partner continue to be that individual by respecting their personal goals and interests. Sometimes that’s as simple as asking questions to show your support. So don’t worry, Justin, there’s no need to sign up for Zumba yourself — but do continue to ask Melanie how it went whenever she comes home from teaching a class.” If you want to read the article and see their references, you can check it out here. In my work with couples, I have found it to be so important for the couple to have a shared philosophy, especially about how to handle challenges. Most couples have no idea how to deal with upset and disagreement when it happens. DRIFTING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER: Unfortunately, we are all familiar with couples “falling out of love” and “drifting part.” The sad reality is that we often expect our love to flourish without investing the time, energy, and effort into the connection. Recently, I was watching This Is Us, a show on NBC.  There was an exchange between two friends. One friend confronted the other about his marriage falling apart. Here is an excerpt (from episode 14 “I Call Marriage”): “You want to know why my marriage ended Jack? For as long as I can remember, I have woken up at 6:30 every day to make Shelly coffee, splash of milk two sugars. I would make it and bring it to her in bed. She says that he day doesn’t even start until she’s got caffeine in her veins. And then one day, woke up , 6:30, like always, and I made myself one. I just didn’t feel like making Shelly one. And the worst part is she didn’t even notice. We stopped noticing each other, Jack. We stopped trying to make each other happy. When we realized that, we knew it was over. Now, I think that every single couple has a handful of these moments when you reach a crossroads. Just sometime it happens early on, first fight…sometimes it happens ten years in, when you’ve had the same fight about taking out the trash every night for a week. They’re make or break these moments. And you either roll up your sleeves and you fight for what you’ve got or you decide that you’re tired and you give up. And I had one of these moments when I didn’t make Shelly her coffee.” In an email that I recently got from Dr. Keith Witt, he wrote:  “How to intentionally maintain your marital love affair?” Cultivate “I’ll do what it takes,” commitments to nurture the marital love affair throughout lifecycles. We begin relationships with a “I’ll stay as long as…” commitments, as in, “I’ll stay as long as we love each other,” or “As long as my needs are fulfilled.” If we are successful at taking care of our love for each other, these shift to “I’ll do what it takes.” commitments, where we both resolve to face problems and work through them when issues arise. “I’ll do what it takes,” couples tend to stay together and be more fulfilled. “I’ll do what it takes,” couples are more willing to keep focusing on the marital love affair to keep it satisfying and alive through all the life stages.” OPERATIONAL COMMITMENTS: What you will do when you are feeling challenged? When you feel distant… resentful…hurt? How will you show up? How will you deal? Do you know what your operational commitments are in your marriage/relationship? If not, I encourage you to schedule some time to develop them. Maybe for your next anniversary take some time to add some practical and conscious commitments to your marriage vows. If you feel like you and your partner could use an overhaul in your ways of operating together. Sign-up for the free webinar on March 15th to get some insight into how to cultivate a happier more connected relationship as well as learning about the Connected Couple program. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks offer some great input about conscious commitments, in their article titled “Conscious Loving: The Journey To Co-Commitment” (summarizing their book by the same title): Commitment 1: I commit myself to full closeness, and to clearing up anything within me that stands in the way. Commitment 2: I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual. Commitment 3: I commit to revealing myself fully in the relationship, not to concealing myself. Commitment 4: I commit myself to the full empowerment of people around me. Commitment 5: I commit myself to acting from the awareness that I am 100 percent the source of my reality. Commitment 6: I commit myself to having a good time in my close relationships. Creating and maintaining conscious commitments is an ever evolving process, as you continue to explore and deepen in yourself and your intimacy with your partner. MENTIONED: How To Build A Happy, Lasting Love – Webinar (webinar link) How To Craft An Empirically Supported Marriage, by Melanie Tannenbaum (article) This Is Us (NBC episode) ERP 093: How The “Shadow” Influences Our Growth In Life And In Relationship With Dr. Keith Witt (podcast episode) Conscious Loving: The Journey To Co-Commitment (article) ERP 066: How to move out of criticism into love & appreciation (podcast episode) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 098: How are your Marriage Vows helping you? [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

So Melanie and I were on the Skype a little earlier than normal for this particular episode, and before we started recording I was somewhat concerned because Melanie could not stop yawning (to be fair, she was completely un-caffeinated at the time). However, I have to say that she pulled through like a non-yawning champ, so KUDOS TO HER. For the first 30-ish minutes it's podcast business as usual; we answer a few questions from y'all and talk about SEC Nation and why I love my hair dryer and how we don't want to wish the days away. And then, in the last half hour, Beth Moore joins us, and if that doesn't put a little pep in your podcasting step, then I don't know what will. It was seriously one of our all-time favorite days - a total blast. We hope you get a kick out of it, too.

Follow these 9 steps to get more attention and cash! On today’s episode Russell talks about his trip to Kenya and the nightmare of getting back home and being stuck in airports for 56 hours. He also talks about a street show he witnessed in Amsterdam that was filled with golden marketing lessons. Here are some fun things to listen for in this episode: Find out how the trip to Kenya went, the purpose behind it, and how as a Clickfunnels member you are contributing to helping kids there. Hear about why it was important to get home from Kenya on time and how everything went wrong. And finally hear about a street performer that impressed Russell with his marketing skills and find out how that can help you. So listen below to find out the valuable marketing lessons Russell learned from a street performer. ---Transcript--- Good morning everybody and welcome to Marketing In Your Car. Hey guys and gals and all my friends out there. It’s been a little while since we hung out and I apologize, but I’ve been traveling like crazy and I’m finally getting to a spot where I can report back and hang out. But if you watch my Snapchats then you’ve been seeing all the craziness that’s been happening. So last week, it’s kind of a last minute, spur of the moment, we decided to go to Kenya with World Teachers Aid and it’s usually a ten day trip but I have an event starting tomorrow, therefore I could not go for ten days. So we thought well, the trips broken down in two parts. The first part you go and see the kids in the villages and you help build the school and stuff and the second half is a safari. So we decided we won’t go to the safari and we’ll just focus on the first half. So that’s what we did, which was really cool. So that was where we’ve been. We weren’t supposed to go. Dylan, one of the Clickfunnels co-founders was supposed to go, but he was working on the new editor and just ran out of time and didn’t get his shots and stuff, so we headed in the last minute and kind of went there. So we’ve been doing that. On the way there we decided, hey we have a couple days at the beginning that we have some free time, so we flew to Amsterdam for two days and hung out there, which was cool. I’ve never been to Amsterdam before it was awesome. It’s like super quiet. I was walking around the downtowns and there’s no cars anywhere and mostly everyone is on bikes. I was telling Collette, “Listen. Do you know how quiet it is here?” It’s just crazy quiet and it was really neat. We loved it and had a great time. I did a boat tour through all the canals and saw the Anne Frank house and a bunch of other cool things, that was awesome. We went to Kenya and had a chance to hang out with these little kids and it was just like last time 4 years ago we went. It was a very emotional, powerful experience to see these kids and the transformations. One of the cool things is that the village that we spent all of our time at 4 years ago, we had a chance to go back there and see the progress and how things have evolved. There’s this little girl that we’ve been helping, her name is Jane. When we saw her 4 years ago, she’s a little, I think she was 13 or 14 years old. We’ve been sponsoring her and helping her get through high school and stuff, it’s just amazing to see her progress. My wife and her really connected before, so my wife is bawling her eyes out seeing her. It was really a neat experience. Then after that we went to a new village, it was the most beautiful place. Cliffs that…or this big huge…it was up on a mountain looking over this huge valley and it was beautiful, but the kids didn’t have a school yet, so they just were almost finished with the school and it was amazing. Such a cool experience. One thing that you may or may not know as a Clickfunnels member, every time you build a funnel that goes live a dollar goes toward World Teacher Aid and we’re always working on that, trying to help support those guys and build more schools and support more children. It’s just amazing to see the transformation from 4 years ago, til this week. Which was really cool. And then we jumped in a plane to head home, so we could hurry and get home. We were supposed to get home Monday because Aiden’s birthday, my little 5 and now 6 year old, his birthday was on Monday. So we had everything booked and traveled so we could get home in time for his birthday. We were supposed to get in Boise at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. So we were going to take him out to dinner and the next day take him to the water park. That was the plan, but unfortunately plans don’t always go how they were supposed to. So we get into Kenya and they’re like, “Oh, the dude who is supposed to be flying this plane is late.” So we were 4 hours late leaving from Kenya, which was horrible because our layover in Amsterdam was 2 hours. So we finally leave Kenya, we fly to Amsterdam. Get to Amsterdam and our plane is already gone, so they rebook us on one that’s 7 hours later. So we’re waiting forever and finally we get on that one and fly from Amsterdam to…..where were we going to? Oh, Minneapolis. So we get to Minneapolis, and we basically missed Monday, which was kind of sad because we were gonna miss his birthday, but we’re like, “We’ll still be there, but like at 2 in the morning. We’ll take him to the water park on Tuesday, it’ll be awesome.” So we’re sitting there and then the flight course in Minneapolis gets delayed 3 hours, then 5 hours and we’re sitting there waiting and waiting and finally we’re about to board and they say, “Oh, by the way all the pilots have been flying too long, therefore they cannot fly, therefore this flights been canceled. Oh by the way, there’s no flights out tomorrow, so you gotta wait til Wednesday to leave.” I was like, “Are you freaking kidding me? I needed to get home to my kids birthday!” And we were just missing our kids like crazy. It was kind of like Home Alone, I felt like. The mom had to race to get home to Kevin and every little thing possible, hiccup that could happen was happening. So anyway, I’m sitting there; it’s like 10:30, 11:00 at night and I message Melanie, my assistant, I’m like, “All the flights tomorrow are apparently booked, we need to figure out how to get home and we need a hotel.” The other thing they said was, “All flights are canceled plus there’s no flights tomorrow and there’s no hotels available.” We’re like, “Are you kidding me?” So Melanie went on and was able to find a flight that didn’t leave until the next day at 5, which got us home at 9:40 at night on Tuesday. So we missed our water park day, and then she booked us a hotel. So we jumped in an Uber, headed to the hotel, slept, hung out all day and I got a bunch of work done towards the event, which is starting tomorrow. Then we get in our plane finally. We leave Minneapolis, fly to Denver, and we’re like, “Last leg, we’ll be home by 9:30.” Get in our plane to head to Denver and guess what happened? Yes, you are right. Lightning storm. Therefore our flight was delayed again. Anyway, we ended up getting home at 10:30 at night, finally. And I think it was 56 total hours that we were in airports. So that was horrible. And we missed the little man’s birthday. But today, this morning we went and celebrated his birthday and got some cool stuff. Now I’m headed to the office because we have an event tomorrow and I got a lot of work to do before that. So that’s kind of what’s happening over. So anyway, there’s the catch-up of where we’ve been and now we can start moving forward again and keep hanging out. So the event tomorrow, I’m excited. It’s all of our Inner Circle members and our old Ignite Program. This is the last Ignite event ever, so we’ve got a bunch of those guys coming as well. I think we’ve got about 100 people coming, or so. And it went from kind of a concept to after spending 56 hours in the airport and geeking out and going through as much marketing stuff as I could consume during that time, it’s gonna be an amazing event. I’m crazy excited. I hand sketched out, I think another 40 new sketches, similar to the Dotcom Secrets book, all with new concepts and I’m hoping and praying that Vlad, my designer can get them all looking good today so we can get handouts printed for tomorrow. Oh it’s all running together. I don’t know if we’ll make it all. Anyway, worst case scenario I’ll just re-sketch them live on a whiteboard for everybody. The event is going to be awesome and it’s actually focusing on the new book, Expert Secrets. I’m excited for Expert Secrets, we spent about 6 months writing it and when I was in Bear Lake last month, I basically deleted the whole book and started over from scratch and the new direction that this is going, I’m really, really proud of. It’s what this whole event is based on. I’m kind of teaching it out loud so I can make sure all the pieces make logical sense in my mind before we turn it into a book, which is similar to what I did with the Dotcom Secrets book. We re-wrote it 3 times and then I did a live event for 3 days and then that helped me organize the thoughts in a better way. And I’m teaching onstage and I’m like, “That was good, but that one didn’t make sense and I need to tweak this.” Anyway, it was really cool. So I kind of did the same process with this one. So if you want to write a book, that’s the secret, throw an event. It forces you to get everything done in time and then it lets you teach it out loud. I don’t know about you but when I teach out loud, I just get different ideas and thoughts and I figure out what makes sense, what’s slow and boring, what’s exciting and what pieces people get and what pieces they don’t. Anyway, that’s what’s happening. Hopefully this book will be done before the end of the year, because I’m really excited for it, it’s going to be amazing. With that said, I gotta draw some value for you guys before I get to the office. So when we were in Amsterdam, the second day my wife were walking around downtown and all the sudden we get to this, I think it was a parliament or something, some big huge building. And we’re like, “Wow, that building is amazing.” And all the sudden we hear, “Ahem, ahem, ahem.” Like this coughing and we look over and there’s this guy with a nice shirt on and a microphone and he’s coughing. He keeps coughing louder and louder and keeps doing it and all these people start coming close and I’m like, “What’s happening?” and he had a unicycle on the ground, a bunch of boxes, a bunch of things. He had this flame that was there, so we kind of get closer to him. And he keeps coughing, probably for 5 minutes and we’re like, “This is weird.” And we’re about to leave and all the sudden he stops and says, “Everyone, I’m okay. I’m just trying to get all of your attention.” And then he said something that I thought was really cool. He said….how did he say it? He said something like, what did he say? “A show without attention is just an accident.” I might have screwed that up, but it was basically that. I thought, that’s kind of powerful. How many times do we do something, but no one’s paying attention, therefore it’s just an accident? Didn’t even happen, right? So in our business are we getting attention first? You get attention first; you get people to pay attention. So that’s the first thing. As I’m watching him as he does that, get’s attention and then he’s like, “I’m going to start the show.” And he goes and draws this big, huge chalk square around him, a pretty big square. So all these people are out further from the square so he’s like, “Okay everyone, come up to the square, this is the edge. Come in.” and he gets everyone to come closer. So he’s getting everyone to move towards him. So first he gets attention, second he gets everyone to move their physical bodies towards him so they are closer. And everyone gets kind of close. Then we started watching and I was watching what he was doing and the show ended up being 45 minutes long. And when all was said and done, if you look at it, all the show was, was he juggled fire for 30 seconds. That was it, but it was 45 minutes of buildup and excitement and building rapport. So he did all sorts of things to build rapport. First he got everyone to pull in close, and he started……and at first you could tell the crowd was cold, “What’s this guy doing? What’s happening?” and he could of just got on his unicycle and started juggling fire and it could have been over in like a minute, but if he did that he would have missed….the whole presentation is what made this thing work. He gets everyone together and starts talking and telling jokes and starts making fun of people in the audience to get them to laugh. He starts getting everybody talking about fire and to breathe together. Breathing is one of the fastest ways to build rapport. So if you can match breathing patterns. So he’s getting everyone to breathe and pretending like they’re blowing fire. Get everyone to breathe the same thing which instantly builds rapport for everybody. So he’s getting everybody to build rapport to just all sorts of the really smart things to build rapport with this audience. From making fun of people to making fun of himself and getting people laughing and all these things to get rapport within this group. So then he starts, he’s telling jokes and everything and then he’s trying to train the audience on what he needs them to do. So he gets on the unicycle and he’s got basically juggling things. He gets people throwing things to him. He’s training the audience on what he wants them to do and how he wants them to react. He’s like, “Okay, when you throw this…” He had Collette, actually take one of these juggling batons and had her throw it to him. “Okay now, when she throws it to me, everyone cheer like crazy.” So he’s training the audience on how he wants them to respond. Probably for another good 10 or 15 minutes. He’s doing this whole thing, training his audience how he wants and needs them to respond. He does this whole thing and sets up this fire thing, builds up the anticipation. Now we’re probably 30-35 minutes into it. And he says, “This is what’s going to happen, you guys.” And then he explains, “In a minute I’m going to get on my unicycle and we’re going to light fire and we’re going to juggle this fire.” So it’s like, okay this is what we’ve been building up towards and we’re so excited. And then before he does he says, “Look, now what’s going to happen..” and this is where he asks for money, and first thing he does is price justification, “Look, I’m a street performer and this is how I make my living. If you were to go to the bar right now and you were to buy a beer or whatever, it’s going to be about 5 pounds and that’s going to take maybe a minute to drink, or a minute and a half if you take your time. I’ve been performing for almost 45 minutes so far, and I would assume this is worth at least the same as just a quick beer in actual entertainment value. So the minimum donation accepted is 5 pounds. The maximum is 100.” So he starts going through and he does his price justification and he keeps explaining to the audience how to buy, which was so good. I wish I could have recorded this whole thing. So he teaches them how to buy, how to buy, how to buy. “When this is done,” he’s coaching them through, “When this is done, I’m going to juggle my things, fires going to go. I’m juggling fire, everyone’s going to go crazy. I’m going to put my hat out and everyone’s going to come rush to me and give me a minimum of 5 pounds up to 35” or whatever it is. So he explains and coaches and shows them how to pay him. He’s coaching them this whole time and what he wants and now he’s coaching them on how to pay him at the end, which is just brilliant. Then he finally does the thing. Gets on the unicycle, juggles fire. The whole show’s maybe a minute long. Boom, gets down, everyone cheers and then people start flooding him in droves to bring him money. And everyone’s throwing 5 dollars in it and again he coaches. Then some people that start walking away. He’s like, “What are you going to be a freebie seeker?” starts calling out people who just basically came and witnessed it and ran away. So he calls these people out, so they feel kind of dumb. Everyone else goes, “I don’t want to be called out. I can’t leave this because this guy just performed for me the last 45 minutes.” And they felt this obligation to pay. And initially I probably would have given him maybe 1 pound or whatever that is. I think its pounds there. Anyway, because I felt obligated at 5, I was like, “okay I gotta give 5.” So we came to give 5, we give 5. And I looked at this process, when all is said and done he probably made, a couple thousand pounds. It was impressive. And then everyone displaced and he started packing up his stuff and took off. And it was just cool. There were so many cool marketing lessons. One was getting attention. Number two was building a rapport. Number three was training your audience on what you want and need them to do. Number five was price justification. Number 6 was the actual show. Number 7 was the call to action. Get people to come back and pay. Number 8 would probably be calling out those who didn’t take action. And then number 9 was wrapping up the show. Anyway, so many cool marketing lessons in one. I’m totally geeking out watching this guy. My wife’s like, “This guy is annoying.” I’m like, “He’s kept everyone’s attention here for 45 minutes to do a 30 second to 1 minute long show and at the end he made a ton of money.” Like I said, he could have just got up there and juggled fire and would have made 50 bucks. But instead he went through the whole thing and made 5 or 6 hundred dollars. Pretty impressive. Anyway, I hope that gives you guys some value, some things you can think about with what you’re doing. One of the biggest questions people have is, “I can’t get people to show up to my webinar.” It’s like, “What are you doing? This guy spent 45 minutes for a minute long trick. What are you doing to get people excited and fired up? What kind of video, what kind of….the more you’ve got to be exciting. You’ve got to create attention. You’ve got to create desire to get people to do what you want them to do. That’s how you get people to show up on webinars is doing all those kind of things.” With that said, I’m at the office. Get some work done real quick. Appreciate you all, have an amazing day.