Podcasts about Theni

Introduction: John 19:28-30 - After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. What the Cross Proves About God's Love for You. (Romans 5:6-11) God's Love for You is an Unconditional Love. (Romans 5:6-8) God's Love for You is a Rescuing Love. (Romans 5:9) God's Love for You is a Committed Love. (Romans 5:10) John 1:12 – But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. Philippians 1:6 – And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANKHint: Highlight blanks above for answers! Audio Transcript Open up your Bibles with me, please, to the book of Romans in chapter 5.You know, there's that old saying, "It's not how you start, it's how you finish," right?I was thinking a lot about that concept this week, and I realized that's really true, like,in everything, isn't it?Like, have you ever taken an airplane flight?What determines if it's a good flight?How you land, right?And I was thinking about that also.Have you ever watched a movie that you're like, "Oh, this movie is so good," and thenit has this completely idiotic ending?Have you ever seen a movie like that?Do you walk away saying that was a good movie?No.Do you say, "Oh, that movie was terrible," because it didn't finish well?And I don't think we ever feel this as deeply as we do being Pittsburgh sports fans.Heavens to Mercutroy, how many pirate games have I sat through?I'm like, "Oh, this is awesome," and then we blow it into night thinning, and we say,"Oh, that game was terrible," or all penguin fans, how many times?Oh, this is such a good game, and then we lose it over time.Like, oh.But you know, the Son of God came to do some work, and He finished perfectly.John 19, Jesus on the cross, says after this, "Jesus knowing that all was now finished,said," to fulfill the Scripture, "I thirst."A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a Hissabranch and held it to His mouth.When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished," and He bowed Hishead and gave up His Spirit.And in this four-week series, we're going to be answering the question, "What is finished?"Jesus cried out, "It is finished!""What is?"Well, today, today we are going to be looking at the glorious reality that the work of reconciliationis finished.The relationship with God is restored.Would you bow your heads, please?And I'm going to ask you, just take a moment and pray for me.I was telling Pastor Taylor in my office before we came in here, "Man, I can't possiblycommunicate the gravity of this passage."You always feel that, but sometimes you feel it a lot more.And today we're going to be looking at the love of God.And I feel so inadequate to communicate it the way it needs to, but we're going to takea swing at it.All right?I may, I'll pray for you.Father in heaven, we're about to go after a topic that hits us in the heart, probablymore than anything.So we talk about your great love.So once again, we just pray against any preconceived notions any of us might have going into this.And we would honestly just take a look at what your word actually says.Father, transform us as only you can.We pray in Jesus' name.And all of God's people said, "Amen, amen.It is finished.The relationship with God is restored."We started this last week that the Bible says in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, God wasdemonstrating some things.He was showing us some things.He was, a better word, proving some things.And in Romans 3.25, we saw that God demonstrated His righteousness.Jesus died to fulfill the demands of God's law.The guilt is gone.So here, in this passage, just look at verse 8.It says, "But God shows," again, better word, "proves," but God shows His love for us.And that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.You see, it's this love of God He tells us in verses 10 and 11 that reconciled us.The relationship is restored.Look, this is one of the greatest doctrines in all of God's Word, because God is not somecold-detached judge.And you would wrongly take that away from Romans chapter 3 to say, "Well, God's justthis judge, and we're guilty."Okay, and He did this judicial thing, and He pardoned us, but He's not this cold judgein the sense of now God's looking down from heaven saying, "Turn or burn, I don't care."Right?Get right or get left.Look, I made provision, accept Jesus or don't, makes no difference to me whatsoever.The glorious truth of God's Word, it's that He loves you.I mean He actually, really, infinitely loves you.And last week we talked about one of the greatest struggles we have as people is strugglingwith guilt.Am I really forgiven?But you know, there's another question that we struggle with as people, and it's thisone.Does God really love me?Does God really love me?Oh yeah, I know John 3.16.Everybody knows John 3.16.For God so loved the world.But maybe that's just like a general statement about God's disposition towards people asa whole.But does He love me?You know, there are two things that make people question God's love.And one is the awareness of my sin.Some people question God's love because you're like, "You know what, I just feel unworthy."The other thing that makes you question God's love is going through hardship.You're like, "If God really loved me, why would He let this allow this cause this horribletrial in my life to happen?"But this is the question on the table today.Am I loved by God?In other words, am I accepted by God?Is God on my side?Will that ever change?Well, I got some great news for you.God settled all of this with the death of Jesus Christ.So on your outline, the relationship is restored and we're focusing on the cross as we headinto resurrection day next Sunday.And good Friday this Friday, we're focused on the cross.Today what the cross proves about God's love for you.Does God love me?Look at the cross.That answers all of it.Let's unpack that a little bit.Number one, the Bible tells us that God's love for you is an unconditional love.It's an unconditional love.You know, I get a pause here.People say, especially in circles like ours, they're like, "Well, you know, it's not aboutreligion.It's about what?Relationship."Oh, you travel in those circles.It's not about religion.It's about relationship.And okay, that's true.But you know, technically, technically.God has a relationship with Jesus.The question is, do you have a good relationship with Him?Or do you have a bad relationship with Him?Because biblically, there's no neutral.It's not like there's these on fire, born-again, Bible-believing Christians,and these evil, wicked, nasty, violent, hurtful people who hate God,and somewhere in the middle is just that really nice person.Not a Christian, but not...There's no neutral.And in this passage, you're going to see that unsaved people, people alienated from God,are described in four ways.They're described as weak in verse 6, as ungodly in verse 6,as sinners in verse 8, and as enemies in verse 10.And we have to understand that going in.Looking at these four, weak means you're powerless to save yourself.There is not a thing you can do to get right with God on your own.You're weak.You're ungodly.You are nothing like God intended you to be by birth.You're a sinner.That means in the eyes of God, you are rebellious.And in verse 10, as I said, He uses the word "enemy."And that means you're hostile towards God.But really, this enemy concept, it's really a two-way street.As you see, by nature, we resent God's authority.I don't want somebody telling me what to do.I don't want somebody telling me the things that I want to do are wrong, so that's hostilitytowards God.But you know, it goes the other way, too.God has a holy hatred of sin.So we could say that we have a wicked opposition towards God, and God has a holy oppositiontowards us.It's a dual opposition.So something major has to happen if there's going to be any kind of reconciliation betweenthese two parties that have such hostility towards one another.Something huge has to happen.Look at verse 6.It says, "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."Let's not fly through this too quickly, shall we?Can we just pause for a moment and as much as we can try to get the weight of God's lovein this statement?He said, "Christ died for the ungodly."Who does that?Who dies for rebellious, wicked, evil people?Who does that?It's a shocking statement.But Paul illustrates, look at verses 7 and 8, how he illustrates this incredible truth.He says, "For one will scarcely die for a righteous person, that perhaps for a good person onewould dare even to die."But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.I love Paul's illustration.Look at verse 7 again.He says, "One will scarcely die for a righteous person."What does he mean by a righteous person?Well, a righteous person is just like somebody who's upright and a good, holy person, butmaybe you sort of have a detached relationship from them.Like for example, your favorite preacher that you listen to on a podcast.Maybe there's somebody that you follow their podcast, you listen to them and they're preachingreally blesses you, but you don't know that guy, right?That's Paul's point here, is like your favorite podcast preacher, besides me, but your favoritepodcast preacher, I had to clarify that, but you're like, "Jeff, you're not even in thetop 15."Moving on.That favorite podcast preacher of yours, if you had an opportunity to die so that hecould live, would you do that?Probably not.That's why he says scarcely.There might be one or two of you, like, "Yeah, I would do it."But Paul's like, "That's pretty scarce that somebody would die for a good person."You don't really know.But then he dials it up a notch, he goes, "Perhaps for a good person one would dare even todie."And now he's talking about maybe that holy, upright, good Christian person that we knowand love.All right?So if I were to ask, "Okay, forget about your podcast guy, would you die for Pastor Taylor?"You're like, "Wow, that really ups the ante.I would really strongly consider that one."And now we get the weight of verse 8 when he says, "But God, but God on the other handshows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."See Paul says maybe somebody would die for a good man, but no one would die for an evilman.But that's exactly how God showed His love for you.God loved you when you were a wuze.You're like a what?A wuze.I just made that word up.W-S-E, a weak, ungodly, sinful enemy.That's just in the text.I just paraphrased it.God loved you as a wuze.And God didn't say, "Look, when you get your act together, then we'll talk about salvation."God didn't say, "When you start living a certain way, then I'm going to love you."It says, "While we were still sinners, what God says is, 'Look, I love you.I sent my son to die for you.'You come to me and then we'll get your act together."See God knows you better than you know yourself.And He loves you at your worst.So that's where Paul starts.God's love for you is unconditional.Secondly, what does the cross prove about God's love for you?God's love for you is a rescuing love.It's a rescuing love.Look at verse 9.He says, "Since therefore we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall webe saved by Him from the wrath of God."I love this.You're going to see this a couple of times in this passage.Much more.Much more.What he's saying is, "If Jesus' death could do this, then much more Jesus' life can dothis."So here, Jesus' blood justified has made us righteous before God, which is...I tried so hard to think of a way to describe that and I wrote down, "Infinitely enormous."I don't know.If Jesus' blood could make us righteous before God, which is infinitely enormous, even waybigger, He says, "We will be saved from the wrath of God."And that is a profound thing in the cross of Jesus Christ that God was saving you fromHimself.He was saving you from His own wrath.But you know as a pastor, bless you as a pastor, oftentimes I hear people say, in wanting toargue, certain doctrines people will say, "You know, you're talking about God's wrath.A loving God wouldn't send someone to hell."Look, I believe that God is love and a loving God wouldn't send somebody to hell.Have you ever heard that?Pastor Taylor, I'm sure you've heard that a lot.A loving God wouldn't send someone to hell?Well, there's a lot of problems with that statement.One, it ignores what the Bible actually says about hell.You know, Jesus talked about hell more than anybody.Something like twice as much as He talked about heaven.So not only does it ignore what the Bible actually says about hell, it also ignores God's holiness.A holy God can't tolerate sin.So help me understand, if you're somebody that doesn't believe in hell, if you're somebodythat still subscribes to the loving God wouldn't send somebody to hell, are you saying thatsomebody can live their entire life rejecting their Creator, living in flagrant sin and rebellion,they want nothing to do with God, and they want nothing to do with God's gifts, and somedaywhen they die, God's going to be like, "Hey, that's okay.Come on into heaven.Let me show you around."Like, how does that work?By the way, an unsaved person would be miserable in heaven.Do you know that?An unsaved person would be absolutely miserable in heaven.You're like, "Why?"Now, that unsaved person has spent their life saying, "I don't want anything to do withGod, God's truth, God's people, worship.I don't want anything to do with that."You know what heaven is?God, His truth, His people, and worship, that would be absolutely miserable to spend ineternity.What the God you want nothing to do with.So you're ignoring God's holiness when you're selecting which doctrine you want to adhereto.Oh, and here's one.A loving God would send someone to hell.I like to quickly remind people that God's love is not in question.What more could God have possibly done to save you?The Bible says, Romans chapter 8, "God spared not his own son.God was willing to kill his son so that you could be saved."I wouldn't do that.If your salvation meant that I had to kill my son, you'd all be gone to hell.And I wouldn't think twice about it.What more could God have possibly done to demonstrate His love than by giving the most precious thingthat exists, the life of His Son.So don't please, don't come at me with this, a loving God wouldn't send someone to hell.God's love is not in question here.But church, if we brush off God's wrath, we're also brushing off the impact of the cross.We're brushing off the impact of the cross as minimizing the greatest act of God's love.But let's get real personal.Like I said at the beginning, one of the biggest reasons we doubt God's love is because weendure hardship.And I'm not going to ask you to raise your hand.But I imagine it would be high 90% of you.If I said raise your hand if you've ever questioned God's love because of a trial that you'regoing through.I bet most of those hands would go up.And I just want to lovingly encourage you.When we get in that mindset where we're doubting God's love and a hardship, what we're assumingis the way that God shows love is keeping me from trials.We've already attached that love language to God when His Word does not.And we think, okay, so God shows me love by making my life easy and trouble free.So if God doesn't do that, then He must not love me.Well, we studied the book of Job last fall.If we learned anything, it's that God loves me through hardship.No, no, no, no.God loves me with hardships.God shows the greatness of His love by meeting our greatest need, which is to be rescuedfrom sin and hell.And if that's all God's love ever did for you, is to rescue you from hell.If that was all He ever did, you should be eternally grateful.Like the goofy guy in the infomercial.But wait, there's more.And number three, write this down.God's love for you is a committed love.What does the cross prove about God's love?Well, it proves it's unconditional and it proves it's rescuing.And thirdly, it proves that God's love for you is a committed love.Look at verse 10.For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much morenow that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life.Very similar to verse 9 with the much more thing, but there's a different emphasis here.In verse 9, He says we will be saved from His coming wrath.And here He's saying God will keep us saved in the meantime.In other words, He's saying if God could reconcile us by the death of His Son, much more He cankeep us saved by the life of His Son.Remember to put it another way, if God loved you when you were His enemy, how do you thinkHe's going to love you now that you're His child?That's why He uses that word here.That's the word of the day.Reconciled.This in verse 10, telling us this, God is committed to a restored relationship withyou.How committed?How committed is God?How committed?He adopted you as His child.Talk to somebody here that's adopted someone and ask that parent of the adopted kid, "Howcommitted are you?"They're committed.John 1.12 says, "But to all who did receive Jesus, who believed in His name, He gave theright to become children of God."In Christ, we are God's children and He is our heavenly Father.And as you parents know, your kids will always be your kids and nothing can ever change that.No matter how bad your kids are, no matter what bad thing they've done, nothing will everchange that kid from being your kid.When we planted this church back in 2011, we were meeting at Marshall Middle School,which is right beside Covenant Community Church.I was friends with Pastor John Price, who was a pastor there.He invited our church over to, they had a church picnic on their property.He said, "Hey, why don't you guys come over and invite your church, come over, we'regoing to get the bouncy houses and have a big thing, have a bunch of kids.And why don't you bring your family over and like to introduce you, kind of like welcometo the neighborhood kind of thing."I'm like, "Oh, that sounds like a great time."Well, so our family went and Aaron and I were in the pavilion talking to some of these wonderfulpeople at this church.And our kids were much littler at the time.And all of a sudden, I hear Cade's voice.He says, "Hey, Dad!Dad!Dad!"I look over.Cade and Owen are standing in the yard in the green space in Covenant Community withtheir pants around their ankles, urinating on the lawn.And I look over and Cade hollers, "Look, Dad!We made a P-cross!"And these dear sweet people we were talking to said, "Are those your children?"I said, "I've never seen those kids!"Somebody really needs to rein them in, you know what I'm saying?You know, as badly as I wanted to put them on eBay that day.I didn't.And Cade will tell you, grab him, he'll tell you something I've told him over and overthroughout his life.He says, "Look, I love you on your best day and on your worst.And I've told him nothing will ever change that because you're my son."And it's the same with God's kids.You've been adopted.And you know, I've been reading the Bible for a long time.There is zero Biblical language about being unadopted.We touched on this last week, you know, people often ask, "Can I lose my salvation?"And the answer to that question is, "Well, you know, if I could lose my salvation, thenI definitely would.But thankfully, it's not up to me.Because what Paul's teaching here is it's not really about how tightly I'm holdingon to Jesus.It's how tightly he's holding on to me.So if you've ever struggled with, "Can I lose my salvation?"Here's a great verse.You're going to help me out here.Philippians 1-6, can we get that on the screen?Let's do a little Bible study here, shall we?Paul says, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring itto completion at the day of Jesus Christ."That means to the very end.All right, so help me out here.Did God begin a good work in you?Well, if you're a follower of Jesus, then the answer to that is, "Yes."Okay, next question."If God began a good work in you, is he going to finish it?"Yeah, he is.Oh, one more question.Are you sure?Paul said he was.I am sure of this.That when Jesus starts something, he finishes it.True of the cross and the atonement.True of his death.Yes, true of that, but also true of adopting you and raising you and getting you to thefinish line of heaven.If God didn't save you and say, "You know what, kid, good luck, you're on your own,don't mess this up, I hope to see you in heaven."Paul makes it very clear here that God's love for you is a committed love.We have the worship team.Join us back up here.Church, God loves you.As we said and can't emphasize enough, that is not in question.He showed us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.We are rescued from His wrath.He is committed to keeping us all the way to heaven.The real question that we have to ask is not does God love us, but do you love God?God demonstrated His love for you.Are you willing to demonstrate your love for Him?You're like, "How do I do that?"Well, let's look at what the passage says.Look at verse 11.He says more than that.Which is a hilarious statement.More than all of this.He says, "We also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have nowreceived reconciliation."I just want to ask you, church, will you rejoice?Rejoicing is the natural emotional result of being reconciled.And your worship should be an overflow of love and joy and gratitude for Jesus Christ,for all He is, and for all He's done, and for all He's promised that He will do.Let your worship be an expression of love.Would you stand and lift up your voices and demonstrate love for Jesus Christ? Small Group DiscussionRead Romans 5:6-11What was your big take-away from this passage / message?Have you ever questioned God's love for you? Why? What is God's response, based on this passage?What 4 words are used to describe lost people in this passage? How does this speak to the idea that “deep down, man is basically good”?Read John 1:12 and Philippians 1:6. What do these verses teach us about God's love being a committed love?BreakoutPray for one another.

As often, some of the pod episodes are recorded during my morning walks, thoughts and ideas that come to mind or what is happening currently at that moment. One of the reasons is because I get inspired as I am taking a walk, but also because there is magic about being out in nature early in the morning. Something healing if you will. In today's episode, I share what I've been learning about the importance of getting early morning sun exposure and being out in nature. I wasn't crazy all those times I said that nature is healing and to spend at least the first few hours of the morning out in the sun. I was listening to a (science) podcast and it inspired me to share some of these science-based studies about:* the influence of the sun light on immune support* how it balances our circadian rhythm* forest bathing and influence on health* studies showing the effects of sun exposure and getting sick* much more...If this is not enough to get you out there, thenI don't know what else :) If anything, spending a few minutes to an hour outside early in the day does help me so much mentally.Have you make it a commitment to spend time outside? Let me know in the Gram, find me @Wendy4Wellness and shot me a message or tag me if you find yourself taking a walk out in nature. I'd love to see!* If you want to reach out via email: wellness@wendyrosenthal.comAs always, with love & graditute,Wendy

AND WE ARE BACK! Season 3 kicks off with Bug and Matt catching up on their names, their goals, and of course, their favorite party tricks.Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode. Huge thanks to DeepBlueInk for our artwork and squeezing us into his busy schedule!If you'd like downloadable files for this episode (and the demos we showed off), ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!Our Music:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc! Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --Prompt: "Not Guilty Anymore"----Bug's Song-----Title: Guilty VerdictAdditional Challenge: "Party Trick"Lyrics:CongratulationsGimme your hand and let me shake itA signature is all it takes, an engraving on the dotted lineand then you've made itTurn on the news, kidEveryone's got their eyes on you, kidYou'll get the credit for producing this, in truth,all I did was introduce it... the rest is you, kidYou took the news like its a sermon but, but when I heard itthat shit hit me like a guilty verdictGood news, you tell me I deserve it butI didn't earn it, I didn't earn thisSo have your way, thenI'll take the money and the fame, thenThis is what happens when you're waiting on your breakand no one tells you when to say "when"And if I lose itI have no way to reproduce itJust watch me crawling back to you, sit backI'll ask for second chances you'll refuse itThe rest was you, kidYou took the news like its a sermon but, but when I heard itthat shit hit me like a guilty verdictGood news, you tell me I deserve it butI didn't earn it, I didn't earn thisI made a deal with the devilI meant what I said when I said I'd do anythingDidn't think we'd make it as far we didarmed with our party tricks, all that we're carryingI made a deal with the devilI meant what I said when I said I'd do anythingToo late for take-backs or argumentsonce you have started it, take it and bury itYou took the news like its a sermon but, but when I heard itthat shit hit me like a guilty verdictGood news, you tell me I deserve it butI didn't earn it, I didn't earn this---- Matt's Song -----Title: Pardon MeAdditional Challenge: Last Line == First LineLyrics:I went and did some things that I shouldn't have done(I guess) I got a little carried awayEverybody's done it, got their gun and gone to congressTried to overthrow democracyDon't act like it's a big dealIt was just a party baby, hardly anybody was killedTreason isn't treason when you do it badlySo how about a solid from daddyPardon mePardon meI won't ever do it againProbablyI mean no guaranteesYes I learned my lesson, I guess you'll always pardon meSay good boy and pat my bumThat was just a goof, a gaffe, a blunder, and a good dry runI swear that I will love and serve, honour and obey theeSo How's about a favour for babyPardon mePardon meI won't ever do it againProbablyI mean no guaranteesYes I learned my lesson, I guess The best defense is a presidentWho let's us get away with whatever we pleasePardon meI went and did some things that I shouldn't have done

Returning from the political fray to the realities of daily life on Earth 2 — as the current popular trope would have it — I would like to delve into one of the teachings of Buddhism and Zen that may contribute to its misperception as being overly pessimistic. The “three marks” of dukkha, the Sanskrit word usually translated as “suffering,” or “unsatisfactoriness.” Usually, “dukkha” is related to specific aspects of life, specifically “aging, sickness and death,” as the three characteristics of all sentient existence. From the Tricycle web site we find: The Buddha taught that all phenomena, including thoughts, emotions, and experiences, are marked by three characteristics, or “three marks of existence”: impermanence (anicca), suffering or dissatisfaction (dukkha), and not-self (anatta). These three marks apply to all conditioned things—that is, everything except for nirvana. According to the Buddha, fully understanding and appreciating the three marks of existence is essential to realizing enlightenment. (It is a schema that is accepted in both Theravada and Mahayana schools, but more emphasized in the former.) Here we find a much broader, less personal definition of the three than “aging, sickness and death,” but as human beings, we are naturally more concerned with how they apply to our wellbeing most immediately and intimately, than how they function as universal principles. It seem to me that much of the chaos and uncertainty that we are currently witnessing in the social sphere is animated by the unsuccessful resolution of our personal relationship to these three marks, along with the built-in resistance to embracing them fully, with any measure of equanimity.As an octogenarian, I can personally testify to the inevitability of the first two, and their power taking precedence over all other dimensions of daily life, in due time. All you have to do is live long enough to find out for yourself. However, the Buddha apparently came to this conclusion, or confrontation, relatively early in life, in his mid-thirties, when we would expect him to be in the prime of life, though 2500 years ago, life expectancy was not what it is today. Let us consider each of them one at a time, from a problem-definition and problem-solving perspective. In passing, let me recall that the least emotionally-laden definition of dukkha is, simply, “change.” Nothing personal about it. Buddhists may be said to believe these teachings, rather than “believing in” them, as some of the online commentary would have it. As with all of the “compassionate teachings,” one's own first-person, experiential evidence will drive home the validity and veracity, as well as the long term priority, of these findings and conclusions of the Buddha. The only question becomes how – how do we comport ourselves in the context of these dominant aspects of our existence? The existence of suffering itself Buddha said we are to fully understand. And from the above quote, that understanding must of necessity begin with recognizing and appreciating these three most immediate considerations of life, beginning with aging, or impermanence. It does not help much to place our own impermanence in the context of universal impermanence. Misery may love company, but not that much.It might help to consider the question, When does aging begin? At the moment of birth? At the moment of conception? The current flap over in-vitro fertilization – as part of the larger ethical and ideological debate around all things related to birth control, or the larger category of reproductive health in general – illustrates that aging is actually well under way before conception. The eggs and sperm involved have limited viability, aging out of their own, micro-world shelf lives. Owing to a welcome assist from modern medicine, many of us can expect to live increasingly long lives, with notable exceptions in the form of further life-threatening causes and conditions attributed to the very success, and lack of due diligence, of the human species. In Zen, we hear various expressions such as “every moment reincarnation,” from my teacher, for instance. We read Master Dogen's framing of birth and death as “expression(s) complete this moment.” Buddha himself was said to have mentioned something to the effect that, owing to impermanence, there must be permanence. His monks were said to have been happy to hear this. One of the theories that I have read, attempting to explain the success of Buddhism spreading throughout history in its countries and cultures of origin, is that Buddha's followers were so relentlessly happy. So there is a kind of pervasive optimism in Zen and Buddhism, which is hard to explain in the context of impermanence and aging, let alone sickness and death. But just consider, in your own mind for a moment, the possibility that there were no aging. That we would all remain “forever young,” in the memorable phrase from the Bob Dylan tune. What would be the implications, both long- and short-term, of this reversal of biology? What if we did not age? (We can leave the discussion of illness and dying to upcoming segments.) Buddha rejected such speculation as ultimately futile, if taken seriously, but here, we want to treat it as a mere “thought experiment,” for the sake of shedding light on the actual causes and conditions of our existence, no harm no foul. In design circles this is a recognized process, called “synectics,” engaging in the seemingly irrelevant on the chance that it might turn out to be relevant. It is related to “Hegel's Dialectic,” seeing the existing “thesis,” a present manifestation of reality as impermanent, enabling our recognition and even ability to predict the emergence of the “antithesis” on the event horizon. The model goes on to predict the merging of thesis and antithesis into the new thesis, which arises, abides, changes and ultimately decays and disappears with the next cycle. And so on, and on, forever. Not coincidentally, this terminology of “merging” is used discerningly by Master Dogen in his envisioning the process of Zen realization in Shobogenzo Bendowa, if memory serves (emphasis mine): In stillness, mind and object merge in realizationand go beyond enlightenment If we consider aging in this startling, single-point reflection, how does that look? Buddha says, toward the end of his First Sermon: My heart's deliverance is unassailableThis is the last birthNow there is no more becoming If indeed it is possible to come to the end of “becoming,” is that tantamount to the end of aging? Is the essence of what Buddha and Dogen realized is that everything “else” is obviously aging and becoming something else? And must include the one observing the change. And that it has always been thus, from the very beginning. So what could go wrong? Just consider: If the very conditions that we all naturally worry about – all too often to an excessive, obsessive degree – have always obtained in the universe, long before our birth in this lifetime, and likely to persist and pertain long after our death; how can there be anything fundamentally amiss? Not that it's the best of all possible worlds, thank you Pangloss. But really, as a design-build professional, I can fantasize that I was in charge, and made the primordial decisions that determined that, if there is to be sentient existence, what will that look like? How do I make that work? But most ordinary human beings do not have that kind of hubris. They palm the fundamental questions off to a divine entity, the wizard's intent hidden behind the curtain of appearances. We simply accept the givens, try to understand and embrace them, and go from there. But there must have been a “before” – before the Big Bang, or the alternative Bounce. There must have been something – the “sound of silence,” and maybe nascent thought — preceding the “Word.” But then, all heaven and hell breaks loose, and here we are. In this moment. None of this explains anything, of course. Whatever framework we have been given to comprehend the brute fact of existence was totally made up by others. You learned that. And it can be unlearned. Zazen seems mainly a process of unlearning what we think. The very idea and ideal of longevity has only one value in this context, according to my feeble grasp of Zen's teachings: A better chance to wake up! In witnessing – or better, contemplating – aging, I am oft reminded of the unforgettable couplet from musical Zen master Dylan: Ah but I was so much older thenI'm younger than that now My sense of the relevance of aging and impermanence in the context of meditation and Dharma teachings is that, like the questionable linearity of the so-called “arrow of time” in theoretical quantum mechanics, taking the view that time is passing in a direction may be entirely arbitrary. What we may perceive — and more problematically, what we may interpret — as aging, may indeed be true, but only half the reality, as with all dualistic thinking. Perhaps we are growing younger at the same time, disencumbering ourselves with learned inhibitions, rules and regulations that no longer apply, as we mature to embrace emptiness. My idle conjecture on aging represents yet another variation on the theme of thinking independently and acting interdependently. This bears repetition: Sitting in zazen with the Zen community, we are nonetheless sitting alone. Any time we sit alone in zazen, we are joining the larger community of Zen practitioners. Somewhere in the world – at any time, day or night – someone is sitting in Zen meditation. We need flexibility of mind to approach Zen practice in this nondual sense, outside of time and space. In the next UnMind segment, we will take up the more abrupt, if no more tangible than aging, mark of “sickness,” which for some reason is not called out as such in the early translation. Maybe the prevalence of illnesses of all kinds was so much a part of daily life that it did not emerge as a perceivable isolate in the social awareness of the time. Meanwhile, as Buddha himself suggested, don't take my word for any of this. Check it out for yourself, on the cushion, and off.* * *Elliston Roshi is guiding teacher of the Atlanta Soto Zen Center and abbot of the Silent Thunder Order. He is also a gallery-represented fine artist expressing his Zen through visual poetry, or “music to the eyes.”UnMind is a production of the Atlanta Soto Zen Center in Atlanta, Georgia and the Silent Thunder Order. You can support these teachings by PayPal to donate@STorder.org. Gassho.Producer: Shinjin Larry Little

In this episode of the Digital Business Evolution Podcast, Jess welcomes dance fitness instructor Rick Coffey to the show. Rick shares his journey from musical theater to becoming a prominent instructor at “Turn Up Dance Fitness”. He discusses his passion for creating a strong sense of community and the impact his social media presence has on inspiring real-world action.  Through raw and real conversations about the challenges and successes of building his brand, Rick's dedication to inclusivity, authenticity, and nurturing a supportive community shines through. Join us as we explore Rick's evolution in the world of dance, fitness, and the power of building a strong, inspiring community. As always, cheers to your evolution! Key Takeaways: Learn about making real community impact and support.  Learn about exploding your social media with your content creations.  Learn about the pressures of always being happy and showing up on social media.  Key Timestamps [5:28] – Finding purpose in helping others love themselves [14:58] – Reflecting on goals and and content authenticity [26:20] – Embracing Imperfections  [35:07] – Even as a beginner you dance and inspire others [45:32] – Promoting inclusivity and community  Episode Quotes “The beauty of dance is that there's always going to be somebody that looks up to you and always somebody for you to look up to.” - Rick Coffey “I did not find a consistent workout program until I found something that made me happy, that moved me and thenI showed up consistently to my workouts. So find what moves you!”  - Rick Coffey Episode Resources Click the link right here to learn more about the DBE Mastermind: https://www.jessglazer.com/dbe-the-mastermind Connect with Rick Coffey Instagram: @Bigkidrick Connect with Jess Instagram: @iamjessicaderose  TikTok: @iamjessicaderose YouTube: Jessica DeRose 

AV Superfriends On TopicEpisode 40: Toys today are so much worse than they wereRecorded November 15, 2023It's December, so it's time for a holiday wishlist! Each of us shares the AV device or service that we'd really like under the Christmas tree. Some of these are real products, others are slight variations on commonly available products, and one requires a time machine. Merry Christmas, y'all!Alternate show titles:I had cool stuff back thenI need it to always workI have this needSketchy at bestWidget worldYou can't have the computer have an internetI can build you that sh*t tomorrow

In this episode, I use a recent hilarious real life experience to analogize how lifestyle creep can happen. In this episode I talk aboutHow I recently adjusted to a new level of convenience without knowing itWhat lifestyle creep/inflation isHow I avoided lifestyle creep early on in my career but also honestly shared how I have allowed for some conveniences since thenI share about the different extremes we can turn to as our incomes increaseFour ways to keep lifestyle creep/inflation in checkI wrap up the episode with a reminder to compare monthly expenses to what they used to be before the end of the year.  Are there intentional lifestyle improvements or have things crept up on you? Let me know what you findThey say lifestyle inflation is a silent killer of budgets. Don't let lifestyle inflation have you sabotaging yourself!Thank you for the gift of your time and attention. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Rich Immigrant podcast, please give the podcast a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts, subscribe, and share this episode with someone in your world that needs to hear these conversations. Please join our community online at www.therichimmigrant.com or on Instagram at 'Therichimmigrant.'

Prepare to journey into the heart of the Hip's 2009 album, "We Are the Same." This week, we're pulling back the curtain on an album that made fans wait an extra year for its release. We're not just talking about the music; we're delving into the nostalgia, the reception, and the adventure of listening to this collection of songs. TracksMorning Moon - Studio versionThe Last Recluse - Montreal 2009The Depression Suite - San Fransciso 2009Frozen in my Tracks - Syracuse 2009TranscriptTrack 1:[0:01] For the first time in over 20 years, hip fans had to wait longer than two years for new material. It was three years after we got World Container that Bob Rock came down from the mountain with the Stone Tablet Masters of what appeared to be a campfire album called We Are TheSame. Although it launched with a cool promo, the hip, performing live at the bathhouse, beamed to cineplex theaters across Canada, and it debuted at number one, I have absolutely no memoryof this album entering the zeitgeist. In fact, I could tell you that only Love Is a First made it to my ears before the Fully and Completely podcast. My first full listen of this album was followed by a visit to the grocery store where I bumped into my co-host Greg, and I remember us casually throwing around terms like milk toast andbeige when describing what we were getting into with this springtime release. What followed though is something amazing and it's something only music can truly do. [1:05] You see, I gave this album its due and by that I mean a good solid listening session. On walks, at my desk, on my patio, the beige started to turn into a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes. The album was making me feel nostalgic for my 1977 El Camino. I could envision loading up the back of this hog with camping gear and taking this record to the cottage for the May long and listening to nothing but. Yes, I had become a fan of We Are The Same. Today it's an album I reach for when I feel wistful and I want to reminisce with my past. I adore Morning Moon and the Depression Suite, but the deeper cuts do it for me too. Will the love that Pete and Tim felt on the Bob Rock produced World Container spill over onto this record, or will their first experience be like mine? We're here now, so we may as well be getting hip to the hip. Track 4:[2:31] Hey it's JD here and welcome back to Getting Hip to the Hip. I'm here every week with my friends Pete and Tim and what we do is we talk about the Tragically Hip one album at a time week over week trying to understand what it's like to hear thisband for the first time again. Pete, Tim, How the fuck are you guys doing? Ola, como estas? Buenas tardes. Bueno, bueno, bueno. Los fanes de Tragically Hip. That's how they would say it here. I'm not culturally appropriating. That's how people talk here in Spain. In Spanish, you mean? Yeah, yeah. And they wouldn't change the name of Tragically Hip. hip, they would just say tragically hip, just like they say. See, see, see. Cloud, cloud, or cloud, or cloud. I don't know where he's went to, but there was a guy on Facebook. He's in the Facebook group. And his name is Luca Tadia, I believe. And he's Italian. And he discovered the hip out of, he's an Italian, he's in a band. He's a singer-songwriter. [3:47] And he was at a really low point. And he discovered the hip. And he, he really feels so strongly about them that he's rewritten, rewritten. [3:59] The lyrics like transcribe, like not transcribe them. What word am I looking for? Translated them, but in many cases he's had to write his own because there's so many turns of phrase he's, he's having to write like his own sort of stuff, but, but to fit in the melodicstructure and then, you know, he, he alters the melodic structure a little bit, but he's released a whole whack and he's coming out with a record and everything, but I haven't seen, I haven'tseen anything about him in a while. So what a fucking surface, Luca, come back to it. I'll point out, I'll send some stuff to the thread later this week, but, um, I'm getting way, uh, way caught up in the weeds here because we're here to talk about a record we're here to talkabout, we are the same, uh, released in 2009, which interesting tidbit. This is the first time that a hip band had had to wait more than two years for a record since the band emerged in 1987. They had to wait three years. So it was 2006, then 2009. Was that the longest three years of hip's lives? Or what was going on during that time? I'm guessing the diehards were losing their minds. Yeah. Are they breaking up? What's going on? Like, Gord was doing solo stuff. Rob Baker was doing Stripper's Union in 2005. So he might have toured Stripper's Union in 2006. [5:22] I don't know, they did their usual stuff, but they, like, to my... [5:28] To my knowledge, they, I mean, the record still opened at number one, um, for the week that it was released, which was consistent with what the hip had been doing. I think they had eight in a row or something like that, but they just weren't part of the zeitgeist, you know, they weren't part of, or maybe it's just, they weren't part of my zeitgeist. That, that might be it. Uh, they, they might've been, but, but I feel like if they were as big as they were in 96 in 2009, then they would have never fell off my radar, sort of. And it wasn't that they fell off my radar. They, I just started listening to other music. I just, you know, I- Were you aware of their whole, their whole bathhouse performance at the end or before the release? Like they played at the bathhouse to, they played a show? I would have lost my, like, I would have lost my mind. So I, yeah, I don't, I don't know. [6:24] It was just out of my reference point. Yeah, so I read that they played at the Bathhouse and it was screened, I guess, at Cineplex Theatres across Canada. It's like, these guys were, you know, celebrating for sure. Do you know what Cineplex Theatres owns? One of the things they own is a branch of places called the Rec Room. And one of the Rec Rooms is in Toronto, where we're going to be hosting our event. And we hope you all make it. Get out of fucking town. Wait, what's this event? What are we doing? [6:59] Come on be on board I hate the pull it out game That's gonna be a fun night. I just can't wait. That's gonna be a real fun. Oh, don't lie Jay Jay D Your pull-out game is great. [7:15] Oh my gosh He's got like 12 pockets on his outfit right now he's pulling shit out of her. Oh man. Yeah, I know, the event's going to be great, tickets are selling through, so get themwhile you can. Hit them quick. Get more information on our Twitter feed or send any of us an email, JD, Pete, Tim at gettinghiptothehip.com you can do all of that and more. So let's get into this Bob Rock produced record. This one's recorded entirely at The Bath House, which is a stark contrast from World Container, which was recorded at a big studio in Vancouver and a relatively large studio in Toronto. This was now The Hip on their own ground. I feel like as a result of that we get a very different sounding record. It's got like the nuances the nooks and crannies that the bathhouse records are sort of becoming famous for but it's still like holy shit is this record produced. Like it is depending on what side of the fence you're on it's either intricate or too busy you know like in terms of some of the arrangements. [8:34] The general, I don't know, gist of it that I was kind of reading about is a little bit of a love-hate. I don't know. I also read that that extra year they're waiting for Bob Rock to returnfrom a carnival cruise. Like a really extended long carnival cruise. Oh, wow. That's boggers. That's my joke right there. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, I got that, it took me a second. Yeah, me too. Sorry. We'll dial it in, we'll dial it in in post. I'll test my new editing tools on that one. Punch up the laughter. Okay. No, I really, I read a bit about this album. It is very much highly produced. I feel like it's, the all music reviews, three stars. Yeah. Which is lower, you know, by at least half a point than usual. And one term they used about it was a creative bankruptcy. Like, they pulled out all the stops. All of the stops for this album and tapped the tank. So I thought that was a pretty fucking harsh review. That's very harsh. Considering three years, man. Yeah, no, no, don't be sorry. I just, I don't see that it's, it's, yeah. [9:59] I like this. I like this record. I'll tell you guys. I didn't. The first time I heard it, did not. So I was the same. Yeah, yeah. Let's hear about your experience listening to the record. I was kind of the same. I listened to it. Well, I listened to parts of it. I couldn't sit through it all thefirst try. It was like, I don't know, it was like reading a series of books and getting to the next book and it's like, oh my gosh, this book's going to take me forever. That's what it just felt like to me and finally got through it. I'll say finally. [10:32] And wasn't so sure, but you know there were songs, I'll just say that there were songs that grew on me after repeat listens and I and I got to a point where I thought I could see howhip fans either embraced the whole trajectory of the hip and continued to absolutely love this band and I could see how some hip fans were like Like, what the fuck? When are we going to get this Bob Brock guy out of here? Yeah. Because, I mean, I feel like that's still, I don't know, still a thread going through it. So yeah, that was my take. Listened to it kind of everywhere. [11:11] I just, I gave this album some real attempts. But I listened to it also, I think, less than other albums in general. Okay. Pete? You know, I say we get into it cause I got a lot to say about the, you know, the record as we go. And I'll leave my comments to the record as we move on. Okay, well then kick us off here. Let's start right out with Morning Moon. I mean, I thought it was, I thought it was, let's see. It definitely a different tone to begin the record on with the acoustic vibe, the melody was really cool. I was surprised by the strings, but as we'll talk about as we go on here, the strings become a thing. Hey, that's a good way of putting it, Tim. [12:12] There's a really cool country lick with the electric guitar, I like it. Chorus is catchy, heavy harmonies, twangy guitar. I got some, I got some like a little bit of Eagles vibes on this too. Sure. Clearly hear it. My note that I, my note I wrote down was, it's got an AM radio chorus. Yeah. Yeah, totally, totally. But, but. In a good way. Yeah, in a good way. But I wasn't like, I wasn't like, ah, ah, fuck. This is, yeah. I mean, this is not... [12:49] This is not music at work. This does not grab you by the balls and punch you in the face and then throw you down the fucking hill. It doesn't do that. [13:02] Not to say that I want that, but yeah, interesting start. That's all I'll say. Track one. We'll go there. We'll talk about Bob Rock as we keep going. Oh, Bobby, I thought, you know, this is an interesting start as well. It's got this country rock ballad, you know, it's like, are we jumping into a good condition 90s Chevy Suburban driving through Nashville in this one, like heading to the barbecue place? I don't know. But it also felt like, you know, I was listening through and I also thought this is so singable and it's kind of lovely and it's balladish and And it feels a little country. There's slide guitar. There's some, I don't know, cello or something that comes in. There's strings happening. And then I thought, I could rewrite the lyrics of this song and play it for anybody, and they would like it. I could actually turn this into a country music song. Or you could turn it into, dare I say, a Christian rock song. It just felt really mainstream, stream kickoff song to this album. It was like beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful. And I like dug it, but it felt like programmed, I felt kind of programmed. [14:26] I would never suggest rewriting Gord Downie lyrics. I agree. But the music merited a feeling of, this could be a song played on different types of radio stations. It just, yeah. I wanted, you know, the kickoff on an album for me, it's got to be gripping. And it puts you in the seat. And you put on your seat belt. And you go. And this one was like, OK, what's number two? [14:56] Which, before we get into number two, honey, please, which, from each of you, song would you have used to kick off the record if you were sequencing the record? Is there a song on there that does that, that throws you down the hill, or grabs you by the throat? I know which one I would not, out of all of them, but I'll take it. It's a good question, but to be honest with you, I feel like this record, there are songs on. There's even notes that I'll say when we get into other songs. I feel like there's songs that don't belong in this record. Gotcha. Yeah, it's hard to say. I mean, they kicked it off the way they kicked it off. And I think it's, you know, you can't argue with what's been done. And I can't make their fucking decisions. But yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's a tough question. It's a good question, but I can't answer it, JD. All right, honey, please. Oof. Here's another one I thought that kind of had this R.E.M. feel. I have East Street Band written down. OK. I also had. The beginning just reminds me of that piano lick at the beginning. Just reminds me of Springsteen. [16:08] It just feels like it's going into a Springsteen song. OK. This one, it somehow made me think of the band Big Country. I think they were, where were they from? Were they Scottish? I don't know. It just, Gord comes in softly, you know, I kind of felt like, oh, I wonder if they do this one live and he's angrier. Like it just, it just, I felt like there was a shift that wasn't in this song. Like it just felt like a great radio song, but at the same time. It was also playing in the ceiling speaker system when I was in Vancouver, BC getting my teeth cleaned. You know, like it just, it was really, it like, it was like I couldn't figure out what it was. It was that, or it was almost a wedding song. Like I couldn't figure out what this song was supposed to be. I just, it just kind of stumped me. It was good and sing along and everything, but it was also like, where are we going? I know, it's hard. This is that song, this might be the album that got kicked in the balls at the show on September 1st. Somebody might just walk up and kick me in the balls. Oh, there are big fans of this record. This might be that album. I'm wearing a cup, dude. [17:33] On Amazon, like, no fucking way. I'm wearing a mouth guard. I'm wearing a wig and I'm going to have like a voice modifier on my throat. I can just set you guys up behind the screen like so nobody can see you. You know, one of those things like silhouette. The old cage. You remember like watching fucking Roadhouse where the band played behind like a fucking like a chain link fence. And that band was? Jeff Healy and the... Fuck, Jeff Healy and the... I can't remember the band. I would have just said Jeff Healy band. Fucking shadow puppets. Here's my shadow puppets, Pete and Tim. Jesus Christ, man. Great fucking man, though. You know, we've been drinking the Kool-Aid and sometimes you get a little gherpie from, you know, too much Kool-Aid. I think that's just kind of... It's funny you say that, Tim, because I'm reading my notes for this song and it's... And honey, please... You've got gherpie written down. No, no, it didn't matter. This is my complete notes on this song. Heavy production. Producer is really mixing the Kool-Aid here. [18:44] Even how the drums are mixed, I mean, I just, I could not, I could not listen to this fucking song enough to even see, like, I just was like, yeah, dentist's office. I'm at, I'm at a fucking Sears or, or I'm at a Hallmark store and I'm just like, what the fuck, man? I just want to get out of here so I can put on fucking Black Sabbath or the, or fucking, or fully and completely in my fucking car. Like I just, Christ, excuse my language, but yeah, it justwas not taken, not taken. The, the, I'll just, there's more, but the, the, you're right about the drum mixing because there were a couple times where I was like, there's nothing wrong with this drummer. Why are we doing what we're doing here? Oh, it was like fucking the right tom went from the right ear to the left ear and then the kicks going back. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? Why? Like, just give me the fucking drums. I don't need a ping pong set in my ears. It was just too much. I hear you on the E Street Band JD, but yeah, other than that, could not, oh, yeah, that's all I got. That's all I got. you. [20:05] J.D. we need to rerecord the start and you're going to be like, this is where I lost my friendship with Pete Dibb. And they were banned from the roof of the United States. No entry. No entry. [20:22] The first time I sat down and listened to the record was for Fully and Completely, the podcast. By the way, Pete, it's Fully Completely. Fully and Completely was our podcast. Whoa, easy, JD. Okay, now you're cut. Okay, all right. Mr. Details. This is episode... He's gotten our back. This is like, I mean, we got one record after two records. I should know this, you're right. I should know this at this point. I don't know if I can say this. So I listened to it then and I like absolutely, it did nothing for me. It did nothing. Like, I was just like, I don't even, I didn't pick up anything. I can't even say, oh, well, the Parchment Suite I really liked, you know, like, no, it just washed over me. And that really disappointed me and so I gave it like a session listen. Probably two or three weeks later, where I sat down and listened to it two or three times in a row. And that's when I latched onto a few songs. I won't say what they were, but I latched onto a few songs. And then picking it up again for this podcast and listening to it, it's like I'm finding some of these songs feel weirdly nostalgicnow, you know? And Honey Please, I like the tone of of his voice, like, I like what he's doing with his vocals on this song. Yeah. Uh, like he's, he's really playful. Like Jimmy's like, no, not like that. [21:51] Well, I was just in shock because I thought for a second, Gordani was sitting across from me. Oh, I thought you meant Tim was having a fucking seizure. No, it's, it's what I've been doing around the house when I need a refill. It's like, No, this, you know what, I'll tell, I'll tell you something, this, this is a really weird analogy, but like, I'm not a, I'm not one of those guys who's, I mean, I think the last time beforethis time I had been to a strip club when I was like 18 years old, you know, when you're 18, this is the first thing you can do. You go to a strip club. Yeah. Uh, and I had gone to one, one time after I was in a very committed and loving relationship And it was like, I got there and I was like, there's this beautifulwoman and she's talking to me and she smells nice and everything. And she's like, it's not doing, it's not, it's not taking. [22:44] And then like, you know, the night goes on, I have a couple of beers and I'm like, still not working. I don't understand what it is. And, you know, turns out, at least in terms of the strip club, it was because I love the person I was with and I didn't want to be there. I was not happy about where I was at. But that's how I felt listening to this song, is that no matter how much I tried, it did nothing for me whatsoever. Wow. It wasn't because it was your aunt, Shirley? I mean, for art, for art, that is the most harsh criticism you can give, right? I hate to say that. I hate to say that. This song is- No, no, I'm fine. This is what this is, right? This is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that you're being honest rather than pandering, you know, I'm not going to pander and I'm going to be honest about this. It means the stuff that you have loved is that much more real to me. You know, thank you. Yeah. I mean, when you go back to, I mean, talk to me about fucking trouble with the hen house and I'm Christ. [23:52] Well, and just wait for next, next week. Ooh. Okay. I'm, I'm, you know, I don't want to get to the last recluse. [27:09] Oh, so, you know, fun chorus, lots of oohs, aahs. You know, I like a good ooh-aah section in a song when it works. I don't mind it. It can make it fun. But this song is so loaded. It's like tons of instruments. I don't know if there's an accordion in this song. I don't know. There's keys. There's tons of layers. It's got this ominous start. Um, it's a really bridge. Yeah. Bridge is so ominous. This chanting. Yeah. Yeah. I, which I thought was kind of cool, but, uh, you know, the keys fade out at the end and, and Gord's just, who are you? Who are you? Who are you? And it's, uh, I don't know what the song is, is about or who, or I don't know. It just, it just was like, whew, this, this song's loaded. Did you watch those videos I sent you guys? There's a trilogy from this record and Gord produced the videos and I sent them as a link. I don't think I think I said I was going to watch it because I wasn't in a place with Wi-Fi and thenI never watched it. I think that's my excuse also. [28:23] I don't remember getting it from you. You have to resend it. I'll resend it. I would watch it. Yeah, I want to read my notes verbatim here. Okay, um because yeah, I I really cool opening. I got YouTube vibes, a little Alice in Chains with the acoustic. [28:46] Guitar. The melody is good but it's very Coldplay. I got a lot of Coldplay vibes from this song. Not that I'm a Coldplay fan but unless you've been living under a fucking rock, you know what Coldplay sounds like. [29:00] And not to say that Coldplay's bad. There's a market for them. I like the keyboards but again with like the chanting and everything like I wrote down I do not recognize this band and it's no it's no surprise to me that Bob Rock did not produce the nextrecord because I feel like the whole time this guy Bob Rock whoever he is I don't know how he sounds I don't know where he's from but he's like listen guys nah this is the way it's gottabe I've been in the business for years I did this Metallica group you hear of them you heard of them they're from they're from California I know how to do it. It's just what you got to do to make this record sound good. Okay, I'm a big time record producer here. Like, I mean, the whole band is just like, Gord, what do you think? Do you know how much this haircut costs? Yeah, I put my my my pants on the same way as everybody else. The only difference is I make gold records. Like, I'm like, just like, fuck, dude, I'm the band must have just been sitting sitting there like, okay, all right, we'll do this. [30:08] Hey Gord, we're taking a coffee break right now. Hey Gord, I just ran into fucking Bob Rock coming out of the bathroom and he says we should put some Gregorian chants on thenext song. And he's like, you said, you said what? Okay, I guess we'll try it. Like it just, I don't know. Yeah. I, let's, can we go to Coffee Girl? Because it's not just. Sure. Can we? Can we? I promise, I promise this is gonna get better, but not with this song. Yeah, it is, it is. Not with this song. [30:43] It's a rollercoaster ride. This song. I'm reading I'm reading verbatim here feels like a song used for a scene transition in a romantic comedy when the guy and the girl break up before the final act where they get backtogether. Coffee girl. It's like I'm just picturing like, ah, fuck, he broke up. It's a montage of like her at work alone, pissed off because the guy fucking broke her heart, whatever the And, and, and like the trumpet, it's like, it was cool, but it was just like, what thefucking trumpet? Like, what is, what is going on right now? [31:24] And, and I mean, maybe it's supposed to make you feel like you're in a, like, give you that, that so I made her an expert or so I married an expert vibes. You remember that? Yes. Yeah. Like with a trumpet, like a lowly coffee shop in San Francisco, like, I don't know what the fuck's going on, but I'm just like, okay, this band is takingdirection. This is not, not to say it's not the same guys, but they're just like, they're led astray on some songs with this record, I feel. That's all I'm saying. Interesting thing. Yeah. I'd want this, this song, I got this, like, I agree with you pretty much, but I got creepy vibes from it. Get to the back door, look around, then turn the key, turn on all the lights, take down the chairs and make things neat. One night he'll make you choose. I mean, what? This is... Well, the beginning part is her opening the coffee shop. This song's creepy though. It's, I don't know. There's, there's... So I had that little sentiment about it. And then I was like, I remember when you could walk in Starbucks and you'd hear like like a catchy song. And then they had CDs for sale next to the cash register. I remember those days. And you can like take from, you know, the holiday Starbucks playlist, but it was on CD for sale right there. Right. I wondered, like, yeah. [32:51] You used to have a song you could download too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, was this a Starbucks song? I don't think it was a single. Tim's all creeped out and JD's like, no. JD's like, no, I've worked at a coffee shop. I've worked at a Starbucks before. You turn the lights, you turn the fucking key, you put the chairs out. Tim, what the fuck is the problem? Yeah, the problem is one night he'll make you choose. What is that? Like there's... You gotta watch the videos. Watch the videos, all right? I don't... Fucking... Okay. All right. Homework. Homework. Now, I agree with you. This song is very milquetoast. Milquetoast. Good work. You know? Yeah. It's fine. But it's enhanced significantly by this video. You enjoy it a little bit more. But... Well, in that essence, do you feel the song was kind of made for video, hand in hand, kind of? Well, I don't know why it wouldn't have been a single then, you know? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Like, back in the day, they were releasing six, seven singles a record to give those record legs. [34:06] Well, it's got, I think, second biggest plays, or third biggest plays for this entire record on Spotify. Definitely a single category as far as listening is concerned. And I said it at the top of the fucking conversation about this tune is that it feels like it's made for a movie, you know? Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I thought of the same. Only played 77 times live. So it's not really a big live song. No, it'd be super rare. Yeah. You guys are such data whores. Such data whores. You started it with your Spotify. I really wasn't with this album until yesterday. I usually do some research along the way in this album. I really just tried to listen to it, and I tried to listen to it. You weren't inspired. And then yesterday, got into some of the data stuff. All right. Let's go to track number five. Let's go. So, the acoustic guitar feels kind of played hard. Like, I don't know if you caught this, Pete, but it felt like. I don't know. I don't think it feels forced, but the strumming of the acoustic guitar in the beginning feels a little bit annoyed or something. I don't know. There's some sentiment in there. [35:33] Drums felt kind of simple, and then everything kind of thickens up, and there's big solos in here. It's over a six-minute song, So it's building us up in song length. I mean, this is a long song for the hip. [35:52] What else did I have in my notes here? Oh, there is, you know... Sorry, I have to read this real quick. You know, the importance of this one is just how it is all about the reference of the residential school system. We actually watched a kind of docudrama film about the residential school system up there and all the government's policies towards First Nations people. And that's some heavy, heavy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just the song, let's see, I read the song is a response to this basically a cool you've apologized. Oh no, no, this was a Gord quote, I believe. Cool you've apologized, but nothing has really changed. The damage has been done. People are still suffering as a direct result of the government's policies. You know, that's, it's, it's not an apology song, but it's sort of. This one's just big. It's just a big song. Another one. [37:06] Yeah, before I speak about the song, I'm going to go back to one thing I said in the previous pod. I really wish to God Gorda was alive today, because I feel like the governments of the world, specifically the United States government and the Canadian government are just fucking itspeople in so many ways. Not making this a political thing, but like, Absolutely, I just I feel like that guy is a guy who would speak out and and you know, it's funny because I remember watching like video ofTrudeau when he died and Saying what a great guy he was and him actually tearing up but thinking like god, man I wonder if Gord hadn't died and what he'd be saying about some of theshit going. Yeah, no doubt the war or, you know, anything that happened during COVID, all that shit. I just really, you know, that guy is an important voice for the people in Canada. And I think, I don't know, I say North America, although there's not a lot of Americans that know the hip, but I sure shit do now. So, but getting back to the song, I liked this one. I, Tim, I certainly felt the same vibe. acoustic guitar in the beginning sounds extremely dated so that's where I think you got the vibe. [38:28] There's a lot of chorus and a lot of reverb it's just like way too like is this is this 1991? 92? It sounded like the same guitar tone on the song More Than Words by Xtreme. It just but strumming instead of that Like it just was too much. That being said, again, the strings come in, but there's a lot more of that on this fucking record. Rob Baker kind of saves the day. Solo starts coming in. The hit is great. The chorus is awesome. I love it there's some really cool arpeggios that are done in the second verse that just mix up the the sound of the song and then Rob Baker's solo it I Mean, I don't know dude. I'm willing to think he's probably the biggest fucking Pink Floyd fan in all I thought the same thing! That motherfucker, it's just fucking David Gilmour. I mean, I'm like, is Gilmour playing on this fucking record or is it Rob Baker? I mean, it's not even like, if you heard it, you'd be like, oh yeah, it's David Gilmour playing guitar. Like, no, it's actually Rob Baker, which is cool. I like it. And then Paul Amois doing like a Beatles thing, like with the guitar, like bouncing back and forth. [39:57] But in the end, I felt like this song had literally, I don't wanna miss a thing, Aerosmith, Armageddon vibes. Like it was produced to that level. Like it was good. Cinematic. But it was just, yeah, like, whoa, like, did I see this on the IMAX? I've got to listen to this song in IMAX. Yeah, to really appreciate it. Oh my gosh. I had the Pink Floyd reference, not so much of the guitar playing, but more as the all-encompassing feel of this album and the journeys throughout it, because it felt like it was trying to belike this massive Floyd production. That's one thought I had relating to the Floyd. [40:44] But the song, it made me wonder. This is where I dove into the story a little bit more. I wanted to know who Honey Watson was. Did you find out who Honey Watson is? Anybody? The reference here. So Gord apparently was watching a CBAE, CBC news story about the residential schools and started to write this song about it. And then the news story shifted to some story in Haiti and the news correspondent's name was Connie Watson. And he heard it as Honey Watson. And he thought that was funny, so he incorporated her name, Connie Watson, as Honey Watson into the song. Just thought it was cool and wrote it down. So he's like going through this really heavy topic, like one of. [41:36] Canada's maybe, you know, top three heaviest topics, residential school system. And he's throwing in these funny little, I thought they said, honey, Watson, her name's Connie Watson. I'm going to put this in this fucked up story, you know, it's like, God damn what this guy can do. And Pete, I completely agree with you. We, we, if I could choose, of course, any of us to have Gord still around. Yes. But we also need the band. Like, this is something I kind of want to save to the end, but of the whole, all of our experience, but like, we don't have art in the form of music that isscreaming about issues going on right now and making people angry. We don't have like, I can't name a band right now that has death threats against it from groups of idiots. [42:31] You know, I just don't know, like, there's a lot of- Hang tight, Tim. Our record comes out in December. Yeah, there we go. I was just going to say, there's a lot of, there's a lot, there are many lesser known, but on the rise, you know, kind of post-punk stuff coming out or going on, you know, like there's a lot. I agree with you though, man. There's just like, there's no- There's no mainstream people out there who are really screaming about issues going on around the world and ruffling feathers. [43:07] Like so much. Where's the song War Pigs, dude? Fuck, I've second time I've mentioned Sabbath during this fucking podcast. But like, where's the song War Pigs? Right now. Right now. It's on my hard drive. Back off. Hey, no, but like, I mean, I mean, here we are. [43:27] You know sending Billions of dollars to fund war all around the world and where the fucking dude, you know what? Um, there's a great fucking tiktok or whatever the fuck it is And it's some guy like i've seen it. Don't pretend like you don't tiktok all the time. No, I don't I don't have it But I wish I did um for that purpose, but there's a guy's Sitting in his car. He actually has his own account. Yeah. Look it up at pete. Um, it's all about his hair No, dude, there's a fucking guy sitting in his car and he's just like, you know, you guys in your punk bands and you were young, you were fighting against thesystem. [44:06] But somewhere you got old and you got fucking soft and you joined a party and it dude, he just fucking nails it. This guy fucking nails it. Wow. He fucking nails it. And it's like when I see shit like people like Henry fucking Rollins, like supporting the Democratic Party, which is like, fuck the Republicans, fuck the Democrats, fuck them all. Your job is to be against the system. You fuck. Excuse my language, but it's just like that's yeah, that's how I feel like, like a guy like Gord had. I don't know. The interviews I've seen with him and so much integrity, he wouldn't waffle. He'd tell he'd call a fucking spade a spade when he saw it. And if he smelled bullshit, he'd call it out no matter who it was. I don't know. That's how I feel, man. And yeah, you're right, Tim. We need the band. We need the band. We do. We need the band. Because the music's... Because not everybody watches the news and not everybody watches interviews. You hear music, though, man. You hear fucking War Pigs and you listen to those lyrics and you think, yeah, Smedley Butler was right. If you don't know who Smedley Butler is, listeners, Google him. He's not either. No, he's dead, but he wrote a good book. War is a wreck. Anyhow, too soon yet. He's been dead a while. It's a depression suit. [54:35] I had no idea what I was getting in store for when the song started, right? I mean, I was in the car and the display in my mediocre sound system, M-S-S. Clearly not my sound system. Fucking premium audio shit. My stock sound system. Anyways, on my screen it doesn't show the amount of time the song is. It just shows the amount of time it's been playing. And I just kept looking over. Like, I'm driving across town and I keep looking over. Like, god damn, how long is this song gonna go? The last song was like six minutes plus, right? Is this one a rock opera? Like, what is going on? It has this lovely start, but you really don't know where it's going. [55:26] The lyrics, I just, I was a little bit confused. The first listen, I thought we were really going to end around three and a half minutes, because that's when I was looking over. But we just kept evolving. It shifts gears, it speeds up, it gets more intense. Gord gets more loud. The strings get more loud. It just like, it's really climbing up this mountain. [55:50] And you know, part of the lyrics is, is what if the song does nothing? What is it doing? You know, what if the song does nothing? In one of the reviews of the song, which I later read, some of the hip fans who aren't as much into this album, they, you know, their, their response of what if the song does nothing waslike, yeah, what if it's not doing anything, you know, it's just confusion maybe? I don't know. Some fans were were like, no, I don't want to see how it ends because Gord's lyrics kind of ask for that. There's this, um... Kind of painful guitar solo at like eight minute mark. I mean the strings that loop and have this abrupt stop it's just this song is... It just goes. I've only listened to it three times I will listen to it again but the song to me was just... I just wonder what everybody was trying to do because it just was magnanimous. [56:59] It's giant. All right. Well, I will say I fucking love this. I thought I thought it was fucking magnificent. I think, you know, I finally with all the strings that are on this record was like, OK, I can dig them on this song. You know, I mean, it's a very, this is a very emotional record. It sounds like just lyrically, I don't feel like any of the first five songs really moved me that way. But there's a lot of musical references that he makes in here to like things like perfectfifths. The chorus is fucking amazing. When he starts warming up his voice, when he really starts digging his fucking heels in and he starts repeating, if this song does nothing, with the strings backing him up, I think are superpowerful. [58:03] They move me in this song, especially I listen to this song a lot in the car. I've talked about it once or twice, but, you know, it's a different experience when you listen to a song, when you listen to hip in my car or any music but you know I have a, The soundsystems, you know, it came with premium, but it's it's you know, it's it's a good It's a good audio system in my car. Frothy and quiet. Pete's premium sound system There's When the strings there's a cool syncopated rhythm that happens in the song and then when it when it breaks There's a part, because this is twodifferent songs, it's like 9 minutes and 27 seconds long and when this song breaks and it changes course, there's a part in it that is Alice Cooper's Only Women Bleed. Has anybody heard that song before? Yeah, sure have. It's that, it's fucking that, fucking it's the hook in that song they fucking use. And Gord's vocals are exactly that. [59:16] He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all. That's the lyric in the Alice Cooper tune. But it's fucking, I dig it. And then, you know, I liked Rob Baker's solo. It was very emotional. This is a really emotional tune. And I don't feel like I'm like, ah, this is fucking amazing. I just think it's, it clearly took a ton of work and a ton of work. Yeah. But I do feel like the band starts to come together on this track. You start hearing, okay, this seems more tragically hip than before. [59:58] So anyway, that's what I got for this tune. They played this, they played the song live 86 times. Like I wanted to look that up to see, like did they play it 10 times, six times? Theyplayed it 86 times. That's like not a ton compared to all the shows they played in their entirety, but that's a handful of times at this. Well, considering it's a later album, I mean, obviously they played the earlier ones more. Yeah. So to experience it and to know it and experience it live was probably fucking epic. Yeah, but who knows if it was with the strings too. [1:00:35] Yeah, I don't think they toured with strings for sure. Okay, okay. If you're playing like Royal Albert Hall or something, yeah, you're gonna have fucking strings, but like, youknow, otherwise... That didn't happen for sure, JD. [1:00:48] I don't remember. I don't remember that being... Like, this would have been around the time in their career that that would have been something that you might expect them to do. You know, like, we're going to do a tour with a full orchestra to get different venues on board and, you know, things like that. Bands do that kind of shit. The Cineplex Theater video. Would have been perfect for this record. Yeah, that Sinplex Theater air didn't include all the Strings people or whomever, do you know? Was that just the band? I can't imagine it would have. I'll try to find that. Yeah, if you know, send me an email, jd.gettinghiptothehip.com. That would be really cool. But let's go to the exact feeling. I didn't have a whole lot on this one. I felt like it had the DNA more, a little more so, of a hip song. Like a standout was the wah pedal going on and kind of this faint background guitar playing fade out at the end like I Honestly didn't have a whole lot not many exact feelings of this oneNot that I didn't like it. It just felt like a filler spot to me. I just kept rolling. Okay. I Yeah, okay. There. This song is the one that starts with the Castagnets, so very Spanish. Yeah. They wrote it for me. [1:02:15] I like the rolling melody, like the chord progression, the way they do it is really cool. It just it drops and then it comes back, it drops and it's very circular. The chorus is fucking amazing on this song. And the way it builds to the chorus is like, it definitely has more of a hip vibe. Like I said last time, I feel like they really start to like becomethe hip again. It's like, whoa, who's that other fucking band the first four songs or whatever, you know? And now there's like, okay, we're warmed up now, fellas, sit back and relax and enjoy. So I dug it. But then, you know, it just kind of doesn't know where to go, fades out. Tim doesn't like fade outs. the time I don't. Yeah, sometimes they're okay. Yeah, in this case, I just feel like the song was really cool. They had some cool ideas, and then there was nowhere to really go. They painted themselves into a corner and we're just like, okay, we're just going to stop painting the room. [1:03:18] You know, but yeah, but I got I got stuff to say about the next song. Yeah, go. Let's go. Queen of the Furrows. I love the beginning. I thought it was fucking awesome. This song is fucking Led Zeppelin three. It is Led Zeppelin three. I think Rob Baker's playing the mandolin. I don't know if Gord is. I don't know who's playing the mandolin. Would love to get some get a line on that. If you know anything, Pete at getting it at the hip.com. You like what you see what I did there? That was that was very professional. Did it sound natural? My boys all growed up. [1:03:57] I dug this song. The way the fucking chorus, the way the chorus comes in is like, it's just so different from the song, which is not very Led Zeppelin 3 because it's so heavy. It's fucking rad. And then the solo by Rob Baker, I'm going to read notes for Vadim here, Rob Baker melts dicks off people. He doesn't even melt your face, he melts your dick. I mean, this solo is fucking screams. It's so good. You can just tell he's in the zone and he could hear that he wanted to play that solo and he just wanted to fucking destroy it. And he just did. He delivered, I don't know if he did that in one take or if they mixed different solos together to make that, but it just sounds so good, dude. Goddamn, it's so good. I love it. Good song, good tune. Good tune. I'll pretty much agree with that. You know, it's one, I'm not going to add much to what Pete just put in, but what I did want to know what, you know, what this queen of the furrows is. And, um, it's actually a crown awarded annually to quote an agriculturally-minded young woman of Ontario. [1:05:23] And I'll just show you guys real quick. This is Kieran County Queen of the Furrow 2020 as part of Ontario's Plowman's Association. Can you see? Oh, yeah. What do you think? She's nice, you know, it's so to give everybody You know some insight into that photo. I would say she's dressed like a like you would think she'd be wearing overalls or something likethat, but she's dressed like a beauty queen. She's got a lovely dress on. She's got a sash and a tiara that looks, you know, like, that looks all beautiful and like prom queenie. Not at all what I would have expected the Queen of the Furrows to look like. Which for real... Not at all what I expected the Plowman's Association to be doing. Easy, Tim! Easy! But I didn't know, furrows is the word for the lines, you know. That's right. In the farm from the machines planting seeds or doing whatever you do. I mean, now I know when I'm sitting in the window seat on Alaska Airlines, covering the West Coast as I do. [1:06:37] I thought the guitar solo, it hearkened me back to some GNR. That's all I'll say about that. Certainly. this I guess just lastly the ending had this noisy but kind of quiet background guitar feedback something like there was something something playfulhappening with some guitar noise and the congos like this was one of those interesting enders but but kind of a cool song. Speed River. So, Speed River, I was like, ah, okay, I'm kind of digging this one. This felt a little more like what I was hearkening back to, Liking of the Hip. This was a single. Yep, yep. This has, again, a big guitar solo, which quiets down into keys and some rim shots from drumsticks happening. [1:07:34] This house sounds like a bomb hit it is a fucking cool lyric. I didn't know if that was referencing the feeling of recording and just being in the zone. This is what I was imagining, just being in the zone of the music just feeling so good with yourbandmates. You know, this house feels like a fucking bomb hit it because we are destroying with this music. But this song is kind of cool. a little more, I don't know, a little more fun in an easilysingable way. You know, it has a somewhat fitting, abrupt ender to it. It might have been... At first glance, it was like, this might be my song on the album. I'm not sure. Don't give it away, buddy. I didn't. I left it hanging a little. All right. He said it might. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I stand corrected. Speed River. I'd love to agree with Tim, because I love agreeing with him, but the tonal licks were cool. [1:08:45] Overall, though, not impressed. I feel like this song was written to play live. I mean, literally, they wrote it and were like, yeah, we don't care how this fucking sounds on the record. It's just gonna be a fucking banger to play live. Yeah, I'm sure it was great live. How many times did they play it there, Tim? Let's look. It was probably like a- Oh, I thought you had it pulled up hard. I do. It's just on, I got it right here. It probably was awesome, you know, to play like the fifth song of a show just to keep the crowd going. It was played 11. This was played 11 times. So this song was probably a treat for people who do it. You know, it was probably a fucking treat. Yeah. I guess so. I heard the rim shots and the keyboards, it's just felt so country pop, like, I felt like I felt like I should be at, like, the lake with my, like, pseudo country Republican voting friends, like, 12Bud Lights deep being like, yeah, this is fucking mad, right? Yeah, this is fucking cool. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. [1:10:00] So that was Bobby and. Yeah. You know, I don't know. It's just the vibe I got. I don't know why, but I felt. I felt like if I heard the song live, I'd be like, fuck, yeah. But on the record, it was just. It was like a bad Viagra pill, not that I've ever taken Viagra, but I don't know why. That's why. That's what I thought of. But it's like somebody selling you like a, like a placebo and be like, yeah, this will, this will do it. And you take it and you're like, I didn't do anything. [1:10:35] I think it was 2009 that we went to Mazatlan. That's kind of throwing me back to bad Viagra pills. Okay. I just thought, because you know, songs, you want to say this song to getmy engine going. That's why I did that. Anyway. If you look at the blueprints of this song, though, it should work like it should. It should all be there. Yeah, yeah. It's got an interesting chorus. But you're right, the sum of the pieces don't add up. Now, there are people that will love this song and tell us why you love it. It'd be great to hear. You could love it, but compare it to the shit that they've done. [1:11:19] And we're not in the compare and contrast game. We're not comparing apples and and oranges, groeries and forges. But I mean, dude, like. You're going to put this up against fucking fireworks, go fucking freak off, as Ricky LeFleur would say. Freak, freak right off. I mean, Christ, I mean, not even close. Right. Just I. But you're right, Judy, the sum of it, you know, it has all the components. It's like, Hey, babe, I was going to make this amazing soup for you. I put all the ingredients in, but for some reason it still tastes like shit. Yeah. Yeah. I won't go. Yeah. I won't, I won't go that far, but yeah. [1:12:08] Well, you know, you know where I'm going. Yeah. Well, with it, with this album and where we're at now and with, with all these journeys of these songs, I mean, we've gone fromlike three minute songs to nine minute songs, these, these past two, Queen of the Froze and Speed River, they feel like kind of placed in there to fill it out a little bit. But they also feel to me a little bit like past albums filler songs. So yeah. To me, they were good and they represent. But in this particular album, it's almost like, guys, we had 10 days book to record. We're at day four and you're feeling done. What do you have? They were part of this for two months. What do you have that we could pull in here? Jesus Christ. What about that song, Speed River? I just hope Bob Brock can retire after this. Yeah. What was that? [1:13:02] I just said, I hope Bob Rock retired after this or, or no, no offense to Bob Rock. Cause he produced some great shit, but just like, or found a band that he was more compatible with because it just. Yeah. I feel you. I feel you. I don't feel, and that's, you know, you guys dug the last record and that was him. And, uh, and, and you turned me back onto it by your, by your digging of it. You know, it's, it's just, it's just interesting. It's it sure is. I mean the last record I I it kind of won me over quickly and I believe I said this, you know, I went online to see how I could get it on vinyl and And then the more I listened to it the less Ilooked into Getting it on vinyl. I'm watching literally watching a crow in my backyard right now I'm going to destroy. [1:13:59] An old crow? I have a crow right now, destroying. Hey! Go! I love birds. I'm a birder. And this crow is destroying my cover over my... It's too complicated. I didn't know that crows in Portland speak English. Did you know that, Jamie? I did not know that either. That is a fact. I would have assumed they spoke Croatian. Oh shit. Fuck man. JD takes a sip of his fucking whiskey and says, I'm out bitches, finish the podcast on your own motherfuckers. I printed out the article, I didn't really, but I printed out the article about dads who throw out dad jokes are better dads than dads who do not throw out dad jokes. That may be true, but I'll tell you what, um, uh, camera, wait, what was it? Pigeon camera? Pigeon camera. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be cool if we, they did a crow camera. At least you havealliteration. [1:15:08] I guess crows weren't as smart, but crows are supposed to be really smart. They're fucking smart. And they, they have face recognition skills. They, they remember people. Frozen in my tracks. [1:18:58] You know, I think it's kind of a pleasure. It's a little bit of a gift, or maybe it's a huge gift, when Gord does his, what do we call it, when he speaks over... Spoken word! Yeah, when he does a spoken word fucking poetry, trippy stuff, like this song has it, and we got it, and I'm happy at this point on any hip song to get that. It's got kind of a... That's cool. Yeah, I mean, come on. It's got somewhat of a spooky start. The snare on this one's a bit tuned up, and the bass is like, lack of a better term for thuddier or deeper. It's like the drums felt a little bit different to me. [1:19:43] This, you know, Gord at the one minute mark, he's already screaming in this song. [1:19:48] I thought that, I don't know, with the bridge at like two minutes, this kind of locomotive feeling, I thought this song reminded, it made me wonder if Bob Rock, look, can yousqueeze call him Bobby? Because if he listens to this, I just want him to be Really upset. It's called a 

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I often hear from people who feel stuck when it comes to knowing what to do to start controlling diabetes, losing weight and being healthy overall. Even some who don't have diabetes share their struggles with weight loss.They feel stuck mainly because there are so many diet style choices and exercise programs. There are even mixed beliefs about the effectiveness of diabetes medications and treatments. People are frustrated and confused.That's how I felt when I began my journey to where I am today. In this week's episode, I want to do things a little differently. I feel the need to share more of my personal story to hopefully help encourage you to not give up on your pursuit of good health.My story may not be unique or even special. But, hopefully you can find a little inspiration when you need it the most.In this week's episode, I'm going to share:What life was like before reversing type 2 diabetes, and how it's been since thenI'm going to share my ups and downs, and what I did to press on in my darkest momentsRecommended Resources:Download Oscar's FREE guide, “Healthy Grocery Shopping Guide: Fruits & Veggies Edition”_____________________Connect With MeTo submit a question or join my mailing list, use the information below to connect with me.Join My Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/beatingdiabeteslifestyle Web - www.beatingdiabeteslifestyle.comEmail - hello@beatingdiabeteslifestyle.comInstagram - @beatingdiabeteslifestyleHiHo - https://hiho.link/g/beatingdiabeteslife_____________________©2023 Oscar Camejo - The Beating Diabetes Lifestyle

Rabbi Chiya responded to Rabbi Chanina, “How do you dare argue with me? For I make sure the Torah is not forgotten from Yisrael to begin with. What do I do? I go and sow flax; then I weave nets from the flax. I trap deer with them, and I feed their meat to orphans. Then I prepare scrolls of parchment (with their skins),and I write the five chumashim (of the Torah on them). I goto the village (where there is no one to teach the children), Iteach five children the five chumashim (each one a different chumash), and I teach another six children the six orders of theMishnah (by heart—each child a different order). ThenI say to them, ‘Until I come back, teach each other Torah and teach each other Mishnah.' Thus, I ensure that the Torah will never be forgotten from Yisrael.” Taking into account all that we have discussed, we learn a fundamental principle. The Bet HaMikdash above in the heavens represents the letters י”ה , which stand for ;י'שמחו ה'שמים whereas the Bet HaMikdash down below on earth represents the letters ו”ה, which stand for ו'תגל ה'ארץ .

Hello everyone, today we will talk about mental health and How can I improve my sleep?This page has some tips and suggestions for improving your sleep.Some people find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people atdifferent times Only try what you feel comfortable with, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Ifsomething isn't working for you (or doesn't feel possible just now), you can try something else, orcome back to it another time.Try to establish a routineIt could help to establish a regular sleeping routine or habits. You might need to try different thingsbefore you find what works for you.You could try going to bed and waking up at around the same time every day. Or it might help to goto bed only once you feel ready to sleep, but still get up around the same time."I was told to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, but lying in bed, in the dark, forhours and hours ... left me far too distressed to be able to fall asleep. So now I only go to bed when Ifeel like I will fall asleep within about 15 minutes or so, no matter what time of night that is, and thenI try to get up at the same time every day."Relax before you try to sleepYou may find a relaxation routine can help you prepare for sleep. These are some ideas you couldtry.Do something calmingFor example, this could be listening to relaxing music or having a bath."A nicely made bed helps. If I'm having an awful day, and the only thing I've managed to find theenergy to do is make my bed, then that's OK."Breathing exercises"Another thing that has worked for me is to lay down on my back and rest both my hands on mystomach/chest. Concentrating on my breathing and feeling my natural up and down movementmakes me stop overthinking."Muscle relaxationConsciously tense and relax your muscles, one after the other, starting with your toes and workingup your body until you reach the top of your head.VisualisationPicture a scene or landscape that has pleasant memories for you, or that you imagine would be acalming or peaceful place to be.MeditationSome people find it helps to try meditation techniques, like mindfulness. You could learn these at aclass or from self-help guidesThank you see you next time«Les Juifs, le monde et l'argent»: un titre aussi brutal risquait d'éveiller de vieux fantasmes, de réveiller des stéréotypes qu'un antisémitisme renaissant exploiterait volontiers. Jacques Attali, né en Algérie dans une famille juive, est évidemment très conscient de ce danger qu'il évoque dans l'introduction à son essai. Si ce gros livre privilégie en effet l'aspect financier, il est avant tout un «voyage» à travers toute l'histoire du peuple juif des origines à la fin de 2001. Ce qui donne à certains chapitres, surtout vers la fin, un caractère un peu sommaire. Mais cet ouvrage brasse une telle masse d'histoires, d'informations et d'analyses que sa lecture est un bon «investissement», pour rester dans le domaine économique!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------https://linktr.ee/jacksonlibon---------------------------------------------------------------------------------#life #photo #lifestyle #beauty #travelphotography #picoftheday #happy #booba #kochi #mallu #tiktok #incredibleindia #malayalam #covid #beautiful #cute #naturephotography #godsowncountry #loveyourself #keralatourism #malayali #girl #emmanuellekeita #motivation #chennai #usa #rajasthan #likeforfollow #selfie #keralagodsowncountry #credit #creditrepair #creditscore #creditrestoration #financialfreedom #creditrepairservices #money #realestate #finance #business #creditcard #badcredit #entrepreneur #goodcredit #creditcards #mortgage #tradelines #debtfree #loans #fixmycredit #credittips #fixyourcredit #creditispower #crediteducation #debt #businesscredit #realtor #studentloans #financialliteracy #bhfyp #equifax #personalfinance #creditrepairspecialist #wealth #investment #creditmatters #success #creditreport #cash #experian #creditgoals #miami #loan #motivation #transunion #atlanta #creditrepairagent #love #creditagent #creditkarma #smallbusiness #creditscoreincrease #homeloans #debtfreecommunity #creditcarddebt #budget #funding #creditsweep #creditfix #home

This week, The Musafir Stories speaks with one of our dear listeners, Varsha, as she takes us to a lesser travelled gem in Tamil Nadu, Pollachi!Today's destination: Pollachi, Tamil Nadu!Nearest Airport: Coimbatore International Airport, CJBNearest Railway Station: Pollachi Junction, POY Prerequisites - NA, some places might need permitsPacking - Pack lightTime of the year - Oc to FebLength of the itinerary: 3-5 daysItinerary Highlights: Varsha and her mom start off the journey by exploring the town of Pollachi - home to Asia's largest jaggery market. Also make sure to visit the local cattle market and flower market. Pollachi is a farming town, so there are a lot of paddy and rice fields around. A couple of interesting villages to visit are Sulakkal, Kinathukadavl and Setumadai. The villages have some interesting temples, traditional folk and cuisines. The temple that stands out is the Masaani Amman temple, where the goddess Durga is depicted in the form of a corpse! Setumadai is also a popular location for filming tamil movies with an estimated 1500 movies being shot here. Other interesting places in the vicinity include a visit to Aliyar dam, Vetarthi Maharishi ashram at the foothills of the Anamalai mountains. There are boating options available at the dam as well. Top Slip and Parambikulam wildlife sanctuary are other options one can consider, permits might be needed along with lodging, so make sure to book in advance. Wildlife safaris here are a must do experience to view some of the wildlife in the sanctuary.Parts of the Parambikulam wildlife reserve are in Kerala but Pollachi offers an easier access which is preferred by many visitors. Valparai and its vast expanse of tea estates is another setting in which one can spend time in, there are other activities like paragliding that one can partake in. Try out some of the local eateries like Paati bajji Kadai for fritters and other fried goodies. There are many popular biryani options in town like Daadi Sardar Biryani, Arcot Biryani hotel, Taj Biryani hotel that one should check out. Chola mess popular for the local fish is something not to be missed. Theni, Thirnalveli, Madurai and Satyamangalam Tiger reserve are other options one can explore if you have more time on hand as these are close to Pollachi. Negamam, is another tiny hamlet that is popular for the local looms and saris. Tirumurti Hills and dam is also something that offers some wonderful views and activities like kayaking. Links:Varsha's linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/varshasathishkumar/?originalSubdomain=sgInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadhdblog/Follow the Musafir stories on Twitter: https://twitter.com/musafirstories?lang=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themusafirstories/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/musafirstoriespodcast/?hl=enwebsite: www.themusafirstories.comemail: themusafirstories@gmail.comYou can listen to this show and other awesome shows on the IVM Podcasts app on Android: https://ivm.today/android or iOS: https://ivm.today/ios, or any other podcast app.You can check out our website at http://www.ivmpodcasts.com/

August MoonriseSara Teasdale (1884-1933)The sun was gone, and the moon was comingOver the blue Connecticut hills;The west was rosy, the east was flushed,And over my head the swallows rushedThis way and that, with changeful wills.I heard them twitter and watched them dartNow together and now apartLike dark petals blown from a tree;The maples stamped against the westWere black and stately and full of rest,And the hazy orange moon grew upAnd slowly changed to yellow goldWhile the hills were darkened, fold on foldTo a deeper blue than a flower could hold.Down the hill I went, and thenI forgot the ways of men,For night-scents, heady, and damp and coolWakened ecstasy in meOn the brink of a shining pool.O Beauty, out of many a cupYou have made me drunk and wildEver since I was a child,But when have I been sure as nowThat no bitterness can bendAnd no sorrow wholly bowOne who loves you to the end?And though I must give my breathAnd my laughter all to death,And my eyes through which joy came,And my heart, a wavering flame;If all must leave me and go backAlong a blind and fearful trackSo that you can make anew,Fusing with intenser fire,Something nearer your desire;If my soul must go aloneThrough a cold infinity,Or even if it vanish, too,Beauty, I have worshiped you.Let this single hour atoneFor the theft of all of me.(This poem is in the public domain.) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit iwillreadtoyou.substack.com/subscribe

Our focus is goals, and more importantly, actually making them happen. We all, me included, have goals and dreams and desires we want to achieve. However, every day, life happens. The urgent duties and demands we must tend to, then trying to rest and recover and have a break now and then. Those very important goals are never going to be as urgent. We listen to a two minute clip from Zig Ziglar on the issue, thenI polled our audience on some of their tactics and Tom Ziglar and I talk through the need for compassion with ourselves, but also some very real strategies we can use. And know this, there is no one best strategy, and your's can be as goofy as ever, as long as it produces results. So Tom and I share some of our own as well, and I'll admit mine often fall on the...not so conventional side. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I discuss the latest news in the trans community such as Caitlyn Jenner throwing the trans community under the bus for her own power, and thenI discuss the recent alarming number of elected Republicans regurgitating slave-owner rhetoric to justify racism and slavery. I end the first segment talking about desires that aren't sinful but also that aren't good for me, and then my very heretical take on what you need to believe to get into Heaven and why it's not required to believe that Jesus is God to be Christian. I end the show with discussing subtitling musicals, my relationship with fiction books, how I decided upon my name, and a good news story! Support my content via Cash App: $Nicklybear Support my content via Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nicklybear?fan_landing=true Support my content via PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/nicklybear Support my content via Venmo: @Anna-Hudak-2 My email: annahudak98@zohomail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/trans-ramblings/message

This is a question that creeps into my mind every now and thenI see the world and things I want to change but how much power do I really haveBut then I remember a quote“If not me then who”Am I going to sit back and wait or go out there and do my part

I do not want to have youto fill the empty parts of meI want to be full on my ownI want to be so completeI could light a whole cityand thenI want to have youcause the two of us combinedcould set it on fire

I do not want to have youto fill the empty parts of meI want to be full on my ownI want to be so completeI could light a whole cityand thenI want to have youcause the two of us combinedcould set it on fire

Kalai

By Rupi KaurI do not want to have youto fill the empty parts of meI want to be full on my ownI want to be so completeI could light a whole cityand thenI want to have youcause the two of us combinedcould set it on fire

By Rupi KaurI do not want to have youto fill the empty parts of meI want to be full on my ownI want to be so completeI could light a whole cityand thenI want to have youcause the two of us combinedcould set it on fire

This episode was recorded on 26th September and scheduled to be released on September 30th and we have discussed till the last reading of the bill and it was waiting for presidents assent and now the bill has now become an act by the time you are listening to this - next time we'll strive hard to give the episodes immediately. We've discussed How a bill is passed in the parliament? - How was this bill passed? - Who does this bill favour? - Why the farmers are protesting now? - What are the ways in which private players will exploit these bills? - What is APMC, MSP? - What are the suggestions to be made in this bill? discussed in depth by Robo, Mr.Theni and Vegeta --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mba-meme-school/message

We are so happy to Mr.Theni onboard for this special episode on Negative GDP and Privatization of the Government sectors. Mr. Theni a law student in Delhi university, Drug Lord from Dubai and our natchathira pechalar Vegeta discuss GDP from A to Z and also give their solutions for revamping the GDP back on track and whether privatization is important or not. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mba-meme-school/message

Welcome back to another episode of the crazy mind of George and today's is going to be a doozy. So ladies strap in to listen to this one, man, get ready to be put in your place. I have two of the most powerful women that I know in the world of digital media marketing, running companies, leading from the heart. First being moms, superheroes, super women. I don't know how they do it. I'm going to humbly sit by and take a lot of lessons today, but we're going to have some awesome conversations about story relationships, community, and how to best do that. So without further ado, I would love to welcome my two friends to the show. So Melanie and April, thank you for being here.  I know we're all going to talk over each other and it's just part of the fun. I think it would happen even in person, Melanie and I have done that to each other. We just start yelling at each other. It's all love. It's all love.It's all love. And  I'm into my first cup of coffee, so my energy will get greater and greater as we go because these 3:00 AM workouts are kicking my butt. And they're good. And let it be an integrity. I wake up at three 30. I get to the gym at three 45, but it's still got a three in it. So I call it 3:00 AM.See, as long as you guys say it counts, I'm good. I'm going to literally be teeing up conversations for me to get permission slips all day I'm like they said it was okay. They said it was okay. They said it was okay. So here's what I want to do. I love asking questions right out of the gate. And I'm going to put you both on the spot really quick and April, you're going to go first. So right before we started today, we were talking about,  April, you're coming up on like your five year anniversary of like when you launched your community, when you get into this. So my question for you is looking back over the last five years or even your entire career, what is the biggest mistake you've ever made in business? And what did you learn?April:   Well, probably two things I would say in sort of mistakes. One is kind of more broad scoped and the other, one's probably a little bit more tactical. But the broad scope one is feeling, and I still make this mistake to this day. So I'm still learning after 25 years of being an entrepreneur. But I would say the biggest mistake is just trying to rush the process.I'm a very impatient person when it comes to my own success and I get really. You know, like in a hurry, like why can't this happen? Like, go ahead and make this, you know, it's big visions, I'm a visionary. And I see these things that I know creating, and I want them to happen tomorrow. And I've been no way for 25 years, my entire career, you know, just knowing that there's a longer road in front of me, but wanting to constantly shorten the path.And I need to remember, and hopefully this will be, you know, helpful for others. If you're feeling that way. To really just enjoy the journey. You know, I teach around storytelling and so that's kind of the beauty of storytelling is enjoying the journey. And then you have the story to tell, but if we're rushing it all the time, which I tend to do in my own life, then you miss the story.You miss the lessons, right? So that's kind of the broad scope. One is I still to this day, catch myself doing that. And I constantly have to reign myself back in and just remind myself to enjoy the journey and pay attention to the stories, because those are the things that I need to learn so that I can go and share those with my audience.The more tactical thing that I would say that I've really learned. And this one I'm clear on, I wish I had hired help sooner. The faster, you can get some assistance and help in your business, even if it's putting your children to work for you, you know, or your neighbor, your babysitter, which is what I, how I started.I literally employed my babysitter first., and then just eventually have worked my way up to some employees. Now that has been crucial to free me up. To go and create and do more things actually create and do the things that I genuinely love doing and less of the things that totally bog me down. So if I could give a piece of advice to anyone, truly, no matter where you are, whether you're starting, you know, where I was five years ago, starting a brand new thing, or you've been at it for a while.You're kind of always going to tell yourself you can't afford it, you know, but you really can't not afford it. Getting help in your business. And that could be hiring coaches and mentors, and it can also be just hiring staff for virtual assistants, whatever it may be.  George: Totally. Yeah. Well, I think, I think, and we'll unpack that a little bit more once I asked Melanie, but I think, you know, it's what you said is you can't afford not.Not too, right? It's the, it's the trap, right? It's that stagnation that happens when we get there and by the way, for everybody listening and listen, I'm not a financial guy. I have one, but tax write offs, depending on what state you live in, you can employ your kids. I'd look it up. Google is your amazing friend. Check out those write-offs because there's nothing like putting family, child labor into a fact and teaching them lessons as we do it.  Like, but it's all love. It's all love. All right, Melanie,  you got the gap. You got the break, you know, what's coming. And I actually can't wait to hear yours, Melanie.So Melanie, when you think back. And just for everybody to give a little context, I'm going to let them share their story of like, how they've got into this and where they are. But Melanie came from a soul sucking industry into a heart centered industry. And so I am sure there are some lessons that came from being an out. I was talking about her being an attorney by the way, to now being where she is now. But Melanie, I would love to hear from you. And like when you look back, like, what do you think one of your biggest mistakes was? And what lessons did you learn? What do you carry forward with it now? Yep.  Melanine: This is not going to surprise you at all George cause you know me well, but the number one thing, I think if I could change things and I do believe like everything unfolds the way it should be, but they're self limiting beliefs.And let me just expand on that a little bit. you know, you, you grow up thinking you have of these character traits. And in fact, I was just talking to someone about this yesterday, cause I don't identify myself as a creative and she sort of stopped me in my tracks and said, Oh my God. Let me tell you 50 ways. You're creative, right? So you jump into these labels and those labels can create a lot of doubt and you start thinking, or at least for me, you start thinking I'm not good at this. I don't have a background in this. I don't have a degree in this. And what am I doing in the commerciall food industry as the former corporate and securities attorney.I mean, there's just, there's a lot to unpack there. But those beliefs in those doubts, really, it may still do it. I have not perfected this. They get in my way. And that doubt such a killer, right? I mean, it's such a, it slows you down and mindset is everything and a business, especially as an entrepreneur, because you get tested every single day. You know, one of my mentors in this industry says working in the food business is like getting slapped in the face and then hugged every day. And you're just hoping for more hugs than slaps. And that could be, I mean, that's so true, right. But if you don't have your head on straight and if you can't like look through all those doubts and go, you know what I was the corporate securities attorney. And now I own a food company. Like if I can do this, I can do anything. And so can you and I speak to a lot of women because our customers are primarily women and, you know they really identify with that belief, that fear of, Oh, but this is what I went to school to do. And this was my path.And you got to get out of that. And this is coming from someone who's super risk adverse, which by the way, doesn't go hand in hand with being an entrepreneur. But that's what they teach you as a lawyer is to spot risk and avoid them. So that those beliefs, you know, those doubts, those restrictions that I've put on myself, It really, it takes a lot to get there through them, but once you do, and once you build that, you have those little wins that build the confidence that you get.I mean you can always things start snowballing as George likes to say that you get momentum and then you get that confidence and it grows, but anybody who's experiencing that self doubt or. I don't have the training that allows me to do X. I mean, I'm just a perfect example of why you should just throw that belief out the window.George: So I and Melanie, and just for context guys Melanie and me and her husband and, and our, our families are friends. We're business partners. We know each other really well. So it's kind of really easy for me to pry the lid off of this one. And Melanie, I've had some deep, deep talks about this, cause both of us share a lot of.Similarities when it comes to mindset, but I think what's really important, Melanie. And I just remember this distinction. You talk about that doubt in your brain and like how it's there. I think there was also a big point. You and I had a conversation where we both acknowledge and accept that it never goes away. We just become aware of it. So now I know, like, you know, we're in the middle of, you know, craziness in the world and we're doing it. And I know there's times that thing creeps in. So how do you handle it now? Like how do you become aware of it? How do you mitigate it? What do you do to put into practice or shift it the other way? Like, I was just kind of love to hear your process.  Melanie: Absolutely. And I think if you don't shift it, it is the slippery slope of just going downhill.  So that doubt creeps in all the damn time. I mean, I think that any entrepreneur would tell you that, but for me, the awareness was step one. Right. And George and I, we did have really in depth comments.I think I actually cried, which I never cry. Like but just really figuring out where some of these and unpacking where these limited limiting beliefs came from was pretty powerful for me. So you gotta do that work. I think it's not only recognizing them. It's figuring out why they're there.For me personally, I had some, I had a lot of experiences, a kid is being picked on by other girls and bullied, and I don't think I realized the effect that had on my life. And the limiting beliefs that caused and all the confidence issues. And so really unpacking that and going, Oh crap. Now I see why I've developed the propensity to feel X or Y or do Z.And so when  it comes up, I pause and it is really that moment where I pause and I go, this is that ego or that belief, and it's popping up. And I take some really deep breaths and it sounds corny, but it is just a way for me to reset. Cause if I don't do that, it will just keep crumbling in, you know, I'm someone who I can get really anxious about finances, which by the way, if you own a startup or any kind of business like that, obviously all the damn time.So if I don't take that moment to just stop and pause and like, be aware and then go, okay this is coming up. I know it's coming up and now I get to pivot. And then I just think about something really freaking positive. And for me, like I'm a dancer, so it might be like a dance choreograph going through my mind.Literally, that sounds cheesy, but I have to switch it up to be able to turn it off and then I can just kind of plug through my day. Now I do a lot though, too, to work with this. I met, I exercise all the time.  I'm just now starting to focus on breath, actually your recommendation on the book I'm currently reading. And I think all that goes into it. It's not just something you can do. Like, Hey, we'll just recognize that limiting belief and then stop it. It takes practice. Yeah. But I think if you don't practice, then you'll sabotage yourself or at least that's my experience.  George: Yeah, no, I love it. And just the book that she's referencing, by the way, it's called Breath by James nester. If you've done breath work, or if you wonder about a lot of the stuff in the world I highly recommend reading this book. It kind of blew my mind on how much we have de evolved as humans from, inappropriate breathing, not chewing foods the right way and the effect that it has on our physiology, which then affects our performance. It's  mind blowing. And just, if everybody wants to try this cause Melanie's in my mastermind and we do breath work a lot, you know, like intra-nasal breathing things like this, but I thought that was enough. Now when I do two workouts a day, I literally. Cover my mouth or keep my mouth shut the entire time.And I challenge every, I try to go for a 45 minute walk and breathe through nothing but your nose and have some tissues for like the first five minutes. Cause you're going to detox some stuff out, but it's really powerful, like what it does to your body inside. And so before I get into anything deep on your pass, I have a question for both of you, because I think it's really prevalent and. Idon't know and April, I think it probably comes up in storytelling a lot. So you build community through the power of story. And then Melanie, you use your story to empower women to take action. But I think there's this, and I don't know, I'm not a woman, obviously. So I'm leaning into you guys on this one.I think it's really easy just to accept that, like women tell stories and they want to be emotional and they want to put it out there where like, Guys don't right. And I see this all the time. I see this all the time. Cause like I'm not going to be authentic. And then we just have like this expectation, but I want to know from you guys, when you're going through your journey is when you're in your stories and you know that these stories share and they inspire and they empower, how do you walk that line of like, is this intimate or is this authentic? Like, does this belong out there or does this belong in here? And it's kind of like that barometer, like how do you guys dictate? Like what gets shared to the world? Is it going to be positive impact? And so April, I kind of love to hear your thought process on this one, because I think it's prevalent across the board, but I would love to hear from your perspective.  April: Yeah, that's such a great question because I actually think that women still struggle with this. Quite honestly, even though we are more prone to storytelling and we're probably more prone to kind of sharing our stories with each other versus men, to your point, they still, we still have this filter that we run everything through of what are other people going to think. You know, what, if I'm not enough?What if my story doesn't matter? What if it doesn't have an impact or what if I scare the crap out of somebody that tell them they'll my truth. You know, so I think that we still have this really huge filter that women and this is really what I try and love to do at light Beamers is try to help women walk through that filter and get on the other side of it so they can share their story very boldly and brightly and in a positive way. For me I have found that I know when I'm hitting the story, either for someone else or even myself, when there's emotions. And when there's real vulnerability and Bernay Brown, you know, of course talks about vulnerability at length and with great brilliance.And I, you know, couldn't agree more that when we are tapping into that thing into our stomach, that just makes us feel so, you know, fearful of what are others going to think, or what if this is too much or what if it's not enough. And all of those, what ifs, those are really like powerful things to pay attention to.And that vulnerability is usually a signal that you're tapping into your truth and that truth should be shared. It's not too much, it's not sharing, things that are not appropriate. It's sharing honesty, your truth your real power or what the light that I'm, you know, think that our stories hold, I just had a call with a client who kind of like she's a podcaster and she has an episode coming out literally tomorrow. And two days ago after she finished recording it, she gets on SOS with me. And she's like, I am freaking out because I just shared some stuff on this recording and I don't know what to do.I think I need to erase it or delete it. And I was like, don't you dare because what you're feeling right now, Well, once you release this on Wednesday and you turn around and see the reaction it's going to get from your audience there, you're going to draw so many people closer to you because once you share your truth, it gives someone else permission, or at least takes a step towards sharing their own.And so it's just, it's the thing that builds us up in community. It's the thing that connects us. And so it's vulnerability that real pit in your stomach that. This makes me so nervous, but here's the real barometer. Ask yourself if not sharing it is an option, right? Are you going to feel suffocated and silenced and muzzled? And like, Oh my gosh, like a raging tiger in a cage.If you do not share that story. And the answer is, yes, you really know that's the story that needs to be shared.  George: I love it. I love it. Yeah. I have a, I want to unpack that, but now, I want to hear your thoughts on this one as well. And just to be clear, like I'm not saying that men and women do it differently, but we, in my experience looking, and I'm sure you guys can see this the way in which it's approached, like storytelling, doing marketing, like for whatever reason, it's seen different and there's different expectations. And I feel like the playing field needs to be leveled. It needs to be human.  Not, you know, man woman masculine, feminine, boom. Like it just needs to be human. Like story is everything and our voice and our story is what creates possibility for other people. And so, yeah. So Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one, because you are doing an amazing job of sharing your story and you unpack it piece by piece, but how do you feel about this?Melanie: Well I come from a really weird perspective because, cause I, you know, and I'm not trying to label myself, I've always been and described as a pretty unemotional at least outwardly woman. I mean, I was career woman at a big law firm and you know, any of showing any emotion and work just gets kind of beaten out of you. Like, you know, don't ever let them see you cry was the advice I got on day one. and I went through two pregnancies at that law firm. And I remember like crawling under my desk because like the hormones are asking, you know, acting up, but I'm like, I got release. I can't let anybody see me. And so after several years of that, you start hardening  and I really have experienced that.And I think the issue with that is it made me a little bit less relatable to a lot of other women because I'm not emotional. You know, my husband always tells me like, God, your emails are really direct. You're going to offend people. And I'm like, Oh, my God. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just kinda like that. Get to the point, you know, give me the facts. Cause that's what I, that's what I learned. I've always been very driven and come from a family that really pushed, you know, make good grades and be very driven and get to the top. And so it has taken the last couple of years when I, for the first time experienced personal development work and emotional IQ.And I really, I didn't have much, and it very eye opening for me to be like, Holy crap. I actually don't have any problems sharing my story, but it is, it's usually very fashionable, so it's not in a way that people can relate to. So I remember George went one of, maybe one of the first times it was at your mastermind. When I had talked about some of my experiences at it as a child and you either turned to me or Zeke, I can't remember Zeke told me, or you did. And you were like, Oh my God, look at how she says that there's no emotion to it. It's just like very factual. And that landed, you know, I'm like, Because I want to be relatable because of my story to help other women. and they can see how Jgenuinely passionate and I am about powering other women and making sure nobody's left out and inclusivity and propping other women up. I mean, that is really what I stand for. So if that isn't not coming across, like that's doing myself disservice, cause I am so passionate about it.So I think for me, I've had to take some steps to try to like, peel back the layers and put the wedge in cause some cracks and come out a little bit and it's taken some work. It's taken some really hard emotional work and I'm still doing it, but I'm committed to it because I do want to be related relatable and feel that people see me as being authentic rather than just like, you know she's not really feeling it. So is it real or what is she talking about? So I'm a working progress, I guess.  George: Yeah. Well, I think we all are right. I think that's the point of all of this. I know April is going to be like, that's power of story, document the process.  I love it. And the thing I'll say Melanie is, I don't think, I think there's a difference between being direct and being disconnected. Like I love the directness, like emotionally grounded, connected people are direct. I mean, you know, my wife, I love how direct she is most of the time, except for when I'm off the rocker and it like cuts through my soul and I have to let go whimper in the corner and I'm like, Oh, I'm such a bad little boy. And that had nothing to do with it, but I have to go work through that now. And then I go to the gym at 3:30 in the morning to get it out. I smashed weights to get rid of it. And so when, when you think about this for both of you, what I love and you both kind of tapped on this, right? I think and April, when you were talking about this, like really checking in and getting your story, when you get that pit in your stomach and you have that.I think that's the difference between sharing your authentic voice and creating a voice. And I think what we see a whole lot of now is we see a whole lot of check boxes when it comes to marketing and business, right? Like I'm supposed to say this, I'm supposed to post this. It's supposed to look that way.And on paper, the recipe looks like it would succeed and we all get the phone calls. It's not working. Nobody's responding. And so what are some of your gauges April? Like, how do you feel when you get into story? Like I said, a couple of years ago, and I think I live this way. I'm like life happens in the messy details, so fuck it. I'm sharing it and that's just what it is at this point for me. And that's been kind of my therapy, but there's also been times on the other side where I'm like, okay, I can't do it unless it looks  this way or this way. Cause everybody's doing it this way. And so how do you navigate that April? Like how do you look at like what to share when to share how to be like you versus like what world wants or what are your thoughts on that? When it comes to putting it out into the world?  April: Well, I think for marketing and branding, right? Which a large part of this audience is probably interested in that topic. There's definitely a piece of you that wants to show up on brand and on message and polished and the things that were taught and is attractive. And I believe we also can share that behind the scenes, pull the curtain back and be real. And so I don't think I don't really subscribe to a philosophy. It needs to be all one way or another. I believe in some sort of balance. Sort of teach a formula to my clients about  T I C S and I'm like, look just create content and share with your audience stories that can teach andinspire connect and sell or think of sharing instead of selling and selling makes you nervous.And so if you show as the branding person, the expert in your field, you can teach, you can share high value and share the brand message and then you're inspirational and you're connecting content and posts and emails and marketing can be more of like behind the curtain. Like, look, I'm just going to share with you April instead of like light Beamers.I'm just going to be who I am today and share with you and maybe share some of my fears. Share with you something that I'm experiencing right now that feels like a failure. Something that isn't as pretty and can be in the messy middle. It's not really polished and ready for that brand statement and it's going to go out on the website. But it can still be part of who I am. I am. And so I think it's important. This is just what I subscribed to. I think it's important that not only like brands and solo preneurs and entrepreneurs and small businesses, but I would really love to see larger corporations and organizations doing this more.There are a few out there that I think do it really well, but I still think by and large our culture in this country subscribes to the former. Like we've got to be buttoned up and polished and we can't really show our cracks because if we show our cracks, no one will trust us and want to hire us. I'm thinking it's really the opposite. If you went to show your cracks and show that you're human, they're going to fall in love with you even more and they don't even care what your prices are at that point. They're going to choose you over the RSP,they just got in the mail. We write our email, whatever. So I just. I wish we could. And Hey, it's good. It's a sign that I can be around for a while. Teaching what I teach, because there's plenty of people that still need to learn.  George: Not when we're doing an April, we're doing it. We don't have to wish we're doing it. And just for everybody wondering RFP is request for proposal. Just we're throwing around like corporate lingo over here. Nobody's going to start dropping like contract names. I just happen to know some of them. So yeah, no, I think I absolutely love that. And when I think about it, I agree by the way, there's very few big brands and things that I see, like put the human in marketing. But at the end of the day what I think most people forget, like sales is a transference of energy, right? Which means in order for a sale to happen, it has to be human to human, which therefore marketing is just a human being, showing up authentically to attract another human being. And then that's what allows the possibility for it to happen.And yeah, I think. I think too. And Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Cause you've evolved so much when it comes from like business, like you literally went from basically they told you be a man in a man's world as a woman, and I'm like, Hey, all of you go shove that shit down your fucking throat, quite frankly. And I'll kick you in the shins, right? Like that's part of the problem with your toxic masculinity. Bullshit. I'm sorry, that's another podcast Stephanos and I'll do it later.  it's coming, but when, what, when you think about that you were in that world and he, like, you have this voice, you have this, like, you're a mother, you're a powerful woman.You want to empower other women and you transition out and you came from the old boys club and then you had to kind of transition over and it's been a process I'm sure. How have you felt on that, because what I love about you that I see from the area outside is that you're not afraid. Sometimes you tell me you are, but I don't really believe you.You're not afraid to like, document your journey and go through that growth process. So how has it been for you versus like in the beginning when you were like, I'm, non-emotional, don't cry, don't be here to like, Hey, here's who I am piece by piece, I'm working towards it. Like, how does it feel? Does it feel different? Is it inspiring to you? Are you getting into that momentum? I would love to hear your thoughts on that.  Melanine: Yeah, it's been liberating for me. Just to go back where  when I was interviewing to work at the, this big law firm, which was a great job, I'm not bashing the law firm, but I remember. Being like, Oh God, I have to put on my resume that I studied abroad. And I was actually scared to do that because I was like, Oh, they're not gonna want to see that they're going to want to see like total dedication student government law review all this stuff. And then when I got there, as it turned out, most of my conversations in that interview, cause you interviewed with 10 people when you're going to a big law firm was about that period of time.And most of them said to me, God, I wish I would have done that. I was so concerned about what my resume looked like. I wish it would have done that. And look, that didn't flip me right then. I mean, there were still so worried about telling people you got pregnant. I remember I was so scared to just tell people it really it is an old boys club.It's still the case, even though. Things are evolving and it's been better. And I had some really strong female mentors at that firm for the most part. It's a good old boys club. It was in Texas. It was very conservative. So anyhow  you see a lot of that. So when I stepped out of that and dove head first into this.I was like, I'm going to become the anti-corporate  no more pantyhose. I'm not wearing a suit. We are going to have fun every day. A lot of our marketing is  cheeky and sassy. Cause I could never be that way at the law firm. I had to be very serious and professional. I'm still professional but I have to have fun. Otherwise, why am I doing this? So I think. For me, one of the first things we did, it was really spend a lot of time identifying our core values. Our number one core value is empowering women. Like every, everything that I post, I look to our list and go, does it meet one of these and it's not like I'm checking it and really worried about it.But my most recent example I'll give you, cause this is totally fitting here is. There was this, or may still be going on this Facebook challenge for women, you had to be invited by another woman to post a picture of yourself. And it was this women's empowerment, social media thing. And  I mean, talk about when you talked about ticks, I thought you meant like those triggers.I was like, what about all the women who don't get an invite? And I was pissed and I had to like, Step back and go, okay, I have to write a post about this because I am feeling very emotional about it and it's strong. And when that happens, I really do want to write about it because that's important for me in my growth process.But I also realize that the feelings I had were the antithesis of the reason for the post. it was supposed to be women's empowerment. And I really had this struggle of  am I going to be seen as this person who's bashing, what's supposed to be a great thing because I have this issue with the fact that it doesn't apply to all women.And ultimately, I just, couldn't not say anything like you were saying April. I had to say something about it.  I wrote an invitation to everybody in the world to post that. Cause I was like, you don't even invite, I don't want you to be sitting at home, waiting for an invite and feel like. You're not included.And so for me, it's, those things are very powerful and it's therapeutic for me to write that go through the process of writing the post that I did and actually put it out there and how it's going to be received. But I am my brand and  not everybody's going to love me, but what was interesting about that experience is I had about 10 women text me personally and say, Oh my God, I read your posts. I felt the same way. I just didn't want to post about it. There is so much power in that, like these women off the hook and there's nothing wrong with not saying anything, but how cool that there were people out there who related to me. So that is kind of, you know, I wish there was more of a formula.George: This is why I'm so stoked to have both of you, like leadership is an active role. There's no passive leadership, right? Like we are either,  evolving or we're dying. We're either progressing or regressing. And so Melanie, I love that. The formula is to show up and you said something. And what I loved about what you said is you were like, there was a point where I was like, I just have to fucking say something, right? Like that is leadership. Like that is authenticity.  And knowing, and the second part that you see said, and I don't care whether you're a man listening as a woman, listening to this, a business, an entrepreneur. Just starting or all the way up. You can never, and I mean, you can never turn down the volume of your voice and expect a positive result ever. It is a guaranteed success for failure. And so Melanie, I'm fucking proud of you. And I saw that post by the way, and I read it, but it actually like, I'll give you a perfect example.And I think both of you will appreciate this. Like we're in a car. There they are. It's all right, we got dogs. We got kids. We don't edit any of this out. This is unscripted. I told you guys, you don't want to get plugged into my real brain, but this is a little of the craziness that happens in there.Melanie knows more than anybody. We've had some tears. We've had like some brother and sister, like I fucking lie. Hey, love you. It's amazing. But this morning, I was sitting here and I meditated this morning. And like, we're talking about a lot of stuff. We're talking about authenticity. We're talking about our voice. We're talking about how to show up in the world, how to make a difference in people's lives, how to empower women, how to empower men. And this morning I was triggered as shit. Like I was triggered. I went to the gym, I got the workout out. I'm sitting here and I made the mistake of logging in Instagram before I did my journaling.And I see some state of the world and somebody responded to me and they're like, don't send me all this stuff. It's bullshit. And I was like, okay, got it. And then I was like, Oh, and my brain was running on, like, you can't be a leader with blinders. You can't pretend it doesn't exist. Oh, you have to. And like every part of me, and I mean, every part of me wanted to write this post and be like, you need to do this and you need to do this and you need to do this. And then like, I really sat with it and I was like, I need to do this. I need to do this. And I ended up writing a post about where I get to change in leadership, where I get to go deeper, where I get to go into the dark and where I get to explore those different things.And I think it's really powerful for everybody listening this to be as connected to yourself as possible and start to understand and learn your barometer. Like what that thing is.  I wrote an email about this. I think Melanie you read it? We have two choices. We can either be a thermostat or a thermometer.And our job is to be a thermometer. Because the thermostat just tells you what's happening, it posts out. It's a part of the problem. It's like, Oh, it's cold. Oh, it's hot, but it can't do anything about it. But a thermostat like, Oh, it's cold. Let me turn it up a little bit. Oh, it's hot. Let me turn it down a little bit.And I think it's really powerful. So Melanie, I'm proud of you for posting that and for writing that ending in that do you, either of you ever find it challenging? Like when you're. Like Melanie, for example, like you were triggered in April, you help people uncover parts of their story and you teach storytelling.Do you guys ever find it challenging when you get that, like pit in your stomach or something you want to share to like put it out there? Like, how does it feel? Do you just. You're like, I dunno, April, if you're like me, you're like, screw it. I feel it I'm shipping it. And Melanie like gets to a point where she's just boiling over and she's like, absolutely not.And I know Melanie like yells at herself too. I love it. It's like, but like, what's the hardest part I'd like, would love to know like what the hardest part is about like sharing your story or breaking through or sharing some of those things April. Like what's the hardest part for you in that. And then how do you overcome it? Because I know there's a lot of people myself included that still to this day, I write a post and I'm like, I can't, I just, I just can't write. And then like, I do this funny thing where I'll literally hit post and I'll run away and workout for two hours. I'll turn my phone off. I won't do anything. And my gauge is if I come back and I don't have any text messages, it was a good post. If I have a, are you okay? What the fuck did you just post to my, Oh, I should probably go read that again, but I would love to know your thoughts on that April.  April: You know, it's funny. I spent a good portion, really the first half or frontload of my career interviewing people. And so my job was to be a bystander and emotionless similar to an attorney apparently.To be emotionless and just be a vehicle with that story could be shared. And so I spent so much time and energy pouring into other people's stories. When I started building my business and especially using social media and, building my brand, so to speak online, it was really funny to me that I was like, Oh, I actually have to start sharing my story now. No one's ever interviewed me to find out how this works for me. And that has been such an interesting thing because suddenly I could more deeply relate to my own clients now who I've been like, Oh shit, what's the big deal. Come on. These are the things that matter, like let's do it, right. Like I just think let's just, it's out there.Let's, it's, you know, I know the magic that the story holds for other people, and I've always been focused on the audience what they're going to get out of it and what it can do for the person who shares that story. but when I actually had to start doing this myself and really tapping into my own vulnerability, It was hard as hell and it still is.Something that even though on a so-called storytelling expert or that I do this, and I've been doing this for 25 years, plus doesn't mean I'm immune that I just get a free pass and that it's really easy. And so it's those same things we've been talking about when I get that pit in my stomach.When I feel that vulnerability, when I feel my emotion.I have to examine it. And I just, I try to say, is this useful? I have a motto that when we share our stories, we shine a light. And I just think to myself, if I share this, would it be helpful for someone else? And if I can kind of run it through that barometer, then that's my free pass to share.Even when I don't have it all figured out, it might be a little messy. It makes me extremely nervous and so that has given me free given me freedom to share my story more, even though I'm still applying my own technique to myself, to pull out my own stories, to share if I can run it through and say, Hey, this is at least what's coming up for me right now.You know, maybe if I share this one, other person would benefit from it. And if so, then I just give myself full permission to share. There are still pieces of my story that I'm struggling with. There are pieces of my story that I've never shared. I mean, I've shared with. You know, confidant and my husband and people in my family close friends, but I have not made those known publicly. And, you know, I'm keeping like a little running tab, like, okay. You know, one day April, you've got to, you've got to get up the nerve to share those stories because I've already run them through the barometer. And I know that they actually would benefit someone else.But it takes guts. So share your story. And it takes bravery. I did a whole symposium this last year with women and it was all about stepping into your brave and we have to step into our brave to share these moments in our life that feels so scary. It feels scary to share what we're really thinking inside. So some days I went at that and some of them I'm still working on.George: I'd say that you always win, by the way, just so you know, and I don't, you said something you're like, Oh, I'm keeping a tally because I haven't shared. But then, because it requires me to be brave. You're already fucking brave. Stop. Stop. Yeah. Come over there and kick you in the shin. Like you're already brave stop. I was like, that was literally like the longest stretch hose. Most passive, like put yourself down. I'm like, no, you're such a powerful person. I do have a question about that though. When you said shared, it helps somebody else, do you ever share, because it just helps you like your journey, your post and your process.  Melaniel: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's probably the second part of what I would say about when you share your stories. You shine a light that light shines for someone else and little secret sauce, it's shines  for you, the brightest, right? It shines for you the brightest. And so then like, Our stories are healing that's why sharing the story can be the most healing thing that you could ever do for yourself, regardless of what it does for someone else, because you will get such clarity and peace.Andyou said something earlier about when you were sharing your story and learning to kind of break free of your life of the attorney and being, you know such, you know, never share your story, never let them see you cry and sweat. And you used a word that you used to describe it, which was liberating.And that is really such a freeing feeling to feel liberated. And so we can get liberated from our own chains that years of storytelling has been holding over us from things in our childhood, things that we've experienced relationships that we've had. If we can break those chains free. Then that's, what's waiting for you on the other side of sharing that story, right? So yeah, it can be about your audience and yes, it can grow your brand and yes, it can help you bring in money to your business. And yes, it can help you do all those things, but more importantly, more than anything else, it will show you what you're capable of and how powerful you are. Just because you owned that story. You learned to harness the power of your own story. At that point, instead of letting the story have power over you.George: That's stuff, that's the mic drop moment when you take it out of your brain and put it into the world, it neutralizes the charge. So, yeah. And it's something we all talk about. We all have stories. And April, I think you nailed something that. Is so it's like this broken paradigm in the world of life. Like not even business and entrepreneurship life that like, somehow there's a finish line, right? Like, Oh, I shared my story. It's gone. Or I won the race so I can sit on the couch and be a fat ass for the rest of my life. Like, no, like I think I referenced this a lot. Cause Joseph Campbell obviously put this in the hero's journey. And I think everybody misses the fact that after you slay the dragon, there's still another step. And they missed that one where you have to go back and teach the village. And then when you're done, another journey starts and the dragon gets bigger.  Melanie: It's a new level of next devil, right? I mean, you're right. It's like you break through to one layer and then guess what? There's a whole another storyline waiting on you that you've got to go in and break through that one too. So it's a never ending process, but it's a good process because that's part of personal development and growth.  Melanie: Totally. So Melanie, I have a question for you. So now that you're on the other side of this, right? When you're went from vampires to like, heart-centered like giving life, right? Like we'll pick our analogy.What was the hardest part, because I know there's a whole lot of people here that are listening that hear this, like I have a brand, but I've never shared my story. Or I am sharing that story. The one that everybody wants to hear.  So, Melanie, what I would love to hear from you is like, what was the hardest part for you?And then how did you step through that? Because obviously it wasn't an overnight thing where you're like, okay, I went from lawyer to, I'm going to run a CPG food company. And like you have those values. And just because you define the values, doesn't mean like every day you're like, I'm going to go dance on camera today. I'm going to go on Instagram. I remember when we met, I was like, yo, goon camera,  go. And I think I challenged him, like, go live if ever do for 30 days or we're not going to be friends. I make these like completely empty threats all the time. Cause I don't really know how else to make them, but I was like, just do it.So what was the hardest part for you? And then now that you've shared your story and you're documenting your process, like, how has it changed your thinking on like how you show up in the world and how you show up on social?  Melanie: Yeah. I mean, honestly, and this may be, this is going to sound very simple, but the hardest part for me was allowing me to be myself.I mean, I had this thought that I needed to portray this image of a leader and that meant professional and serious. ThenI knew I was getting away. I knew I didn't have to wear a suit anymore, but I just had this belief that people gonna buy my product if I'm really myself and are they going to think I'm serious? All of these  questions were going around in my head. And so it took a while to migrate over to I can be totally fine. Making a total ass out of myself on any. Social media posts, or even though it still scares me to go on and basically live. I don't know why. I mean, I can talk in front of a room.No problem. But you put a phone with really could be no one on the other end in the, , it starts and I'm like, ah, I'm. So it's funny how that works, but it was really just giving me permission. Like it's okay. It's okay to be myself and. What I was finding as the more and more I would do that. And I would be authentic and I would share things.It's kind of like when you're a teacher and you're in the room and someone's afraid to ask a question, but it turns out 10 other people have that question. I mean, same thing. I would start posting about things that were personal and people would actually engage with me like, Oh, I'm really having that issue.  How did you combat it? And I realized that this stereotype of a leader that I had learned and had been sort of ingrained in my mind for so long maybe isn't wrong, but it just wasn't me. It just wasn't me. So when I was not offensive or when I was trying too hard or when I was not being myself, which by the way is how I felt my entire career at the law firm. I just didn't feel like I'm right then I didn't really feel satisfied. I mean, I didn't feel fulfilled and  for me, I get grounded every day and my mission of helping other women. But if I am not being authentic, it almost, it's like a can't. I can't achieve that balance where I feel like I'm making progress and really honoring what's important to me.So I would say. That would be the hardest thing. I mean, it's, it goes back to those limiting beliefs, like get out of your own way. Like who cares if you look like an ass or, you know, for me I'm such a perfectionist, like if I've words misspelled it post healthcare. So it's really just been dealing with that. I bet, I guess.  Geroge: Yeah. Oh whatever we want to call it. I mean, we could put labels on all of this all day, right? Like the unattachment being the final goal of all of this before I forget, by the way, guys, I'm loving this conversation so much. I normally tell people where to find you in the beginning of the episode.So I'm just going to seed it now, cause we're not done, but April, would you mind sharing for everybody the best place to find you to learn more about storytelling, how to get into your world and community? Yes, I'm pretty easy to find mine my brand is light Beamers.. And I have a community on campus, Facebook, a private Facebook group called the light Beamers community. And that's probably the best easiest, and it's freebest place, easiest place to join me and just start learning some of the things that I teach in there. Plus it's all about community. Because I'm really big on getting more women to share their stories. And so I've just created a platform for them to have a safe place to do it.You know, like it's scary to do this for the first time, if you've never shared your story before. And we have a lot of examples in our world of being attacked and criticized for our words. And the light Beamers community is a place where you can come and never be criticized or attacked. For exploring the power of your own voice. So I would say join there first and yeah. If you want to learn more about what I do and what to offer, you can go to light beamers.com.  George: I'll say this too, the worst place to be as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a human is in an echo chamber alone, nobody in their corner. So the more places that you can find yourself aligned with the mission, like Benjamin Hardy talks about this and personalities and permanent, right?Like you have to envision who you want to be. If you want to be that person that wants to share your story, be around people that shared their story. If you want to be that. $10 million business owner be around people that have built it, been there or are there. And so you are future pacing yourself to get there.So go check out April's group and then Melanie, let's talk about it. Where does everybody find you?  Melanie:  Also you can find me on social mainly Facebook and Instagram and it's Empact bars,  EMPACT bars. And then I also have a private Facebook group for women only, sorry, dudes, just for us, which is out there, women. And then you can find me@impactbars.com. If you're interested in our products, we've got, we're a natural snack food company for women, but we're mission based. So my passion is helping women. And a variety of ways.  George: just full disclosure. I am a partner in that company and if you don't go support, Empact bars, I'm not going to support you. There's one of those empty threats again.but I will sayI'm so for those of follow me, I'm doing at high speed daddy, one of our other companies, I'm doing this 75 hard challenge that Andy Frisella put together, Melanie is in the middle of two. What day are you on Melanie? 14 14. I think I'm on day 36 today.And so for everybody, what is that? It's two 45 minute workout today. It's 10 pages of reading a progress picture every day, a gallon of water, and thenno cheat meals and no alcohol basically as the whole thing. And so I'm dialing in my macros and I've never paid attention before, but I'm actually just trying to get into this.And it's almost impossible because I'm an adult, I'm an adult. Addict to condiments, right? Like Manet's number one, olive oil number two, creamy Buffalo sauce number three. And I realized I was knocking down like 300 grams of fat a day and they're healthy fats, but when I'm eating those with carbs,  I have a lot of energy, but not really anything else moves on the scale. My body, my pants tend to get a little bit bigger. And so I've been playing hang with it, but we made it this new product and God, I don't even remember when I had it for the first time, but we have this trimmed down shake at impact and it is a cinnamon sugar dream donut in your mouth, especially when you make it right.So for everybody listening, I want you to go get this trimmed out. Shake, go to EMPACTBARS.COM We have bars too, but this shake will change your life. Get get the powder two scoops with 12 ounces of macadamia nut milk, and a banana with some ice cubes. Absolutely mind blowing. You're welcome. I'm just, you can thank me in advance. You're welcome. Go get it. That's it. Okay. We'll get back to the interview now. Thanks. Delicious. Yeah. Well, April, we'll send you some, I mean I literally what I love about Zek and Melanie and they don't admit that they're addicts yet. But they are the biggest sugar and sweet addicts I've ever met. They just pretend not to be because they make healthy products that tastes like things you should not be able to eat. Like that's the best way for me to describe them. I'm just waiting for them to come out of the closet. They're like, all right, guys, we ate 84 donuts a day for 12 months to figure out how to make this flavor.Because every single product is like chocolate date night and peanut butter party in your blah. And I'm like, how do you even do this? And I just get to be the guy that gives marketing advice. So. I dunno, I have the easy job I get to eat it, drink it. Maleny. You can own that. You're a sugar addict. It's okay.  Melanie: I'm totally a sugar addict so much so that we created a sugar detox plan. It's like, Oh my God, it's ironically, it's zero sugar. But like, Oh my God, you put a cookie in front of me and I cannot resist. So that is why all this challenge that George was talking about. You get to design your own nutrition plan, which is one thing I love about it, because if it were no sugar, there's no way out, huh? Doing no meat, which as you know, a West Texas born girl who grew up on chicken fried steak, it's pretty hard. I've never gone this long without me ever in my life. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm just giving it a whirl and I'm going to see what it does, but, um, but it's been interesting, but I couldn't do no sugar.George: No way. I don't think, I don't think any human should, I don't. I think we have too much sugar in the world, but like, I think you have to have that amount that like the level of happiness. We've got to live a little bit here. So choose the cleanest one. You can and have some fun with it.So we've been talking a lot about like sharing our story, authenticity, vulnerability, but I have a question for both of you. If you could change anything about the current state of the market, as an entrepreneur, as a woman, entrepreneur, as a storyteller social media, like when you look at the world that we live in and all three of us work online, we have social profiles, we all have this. If you could change anything in that space, April, what would you change and why?  April: I would changed  the, just the nonstop pounding of mixed messages that we get and that we are overwhelmed by. and I'm kind of raising both hands over here because I suffer from it. And I also know that I'm also sending signals out there.So I struggle with that because I know I'm out there trying to get my message heard and I'm out there playing the game and I'm also on the receiving end and everyone else also trying to do that, so I wish, or we could come up with a way that we could filter our news feeds in a way that those names out there they're like Facebook and Instagram don't get to control because of money. That we get to control because that's really who we want to be here. I'm just in out balance, so I'm trying to figure out how to be a voice in this space and taking up space with someone else and being really cognizant of time and energy that someone is spending with me consuming my content, making sure that. I try to give as much value as possible because I understand they're also being pounded. So I don't know how to fix that. I'd love for you to share George, your mind of George on that one how we can really true beat the algorithm. I know it's with relationships, that's what you teach. And that's what I totally subscribed to. And I just have to keep reminding myself to just follow that, just to follow that path that keeps sharing my story. To encourage other women and the people in my life, the community that keep sharing their stories and that at the end of the day, it'll beat the funnel or algorithm out there. And to, again, going back to the very first lesson I shared with you at the beginning of this recording, which is just to remember to enjoy the journey. Because again, I want to like 10 X everything by tomorrow because that's just my human nature. And I kind, I'm sure everyone else, a lot of people feel that way. Why can't we just have it by tomorrow? Why can't the funnels and everything to be working.  George: Can you could get and read an entire book in one minute, since your own story, you wouldn't read any books. There's no journey in that process. And I remember at the beginning, you're like, Oh, I'm impatient. Like I want it now. I think personally that the solution to that is twofold. Number one is that. Us as the influencers, as the leaders, as the entrepreneurs, as the storytellers, we have to have tight containers and consistency. Cause I think   on our patr I think it's an equal 50/50. We contribute to the problem by being loose and bowing to the rules of the game that we think we have to play.And then on the receiving end is people thinking that over consumption is going to somehow give them  more and more when an actuality it gives  less and less. And so the way that I think about it, right. You know, shopping Malls aren't gonna exist in a couple of months. But when I think about like, when I was like 16 years old, I used to walk by the mall and they would always have that teriyaki chicken sample on the toothpicks. And I would walk by 45 times and never grabbed one. Then I would grab one. I always knew it was there though. I could smell it. I knew it was there. I would see it. There were times I wanted to eat at times that I didn't times I took four samples. Didn't buy any food and times I bought a sample and bought the entree and like, that's the best way that I can describe digital marketing. And like how it should be. When we talk about your story. It's about being consistent and congruent, what you hit, right? Consistent and congruent playing the long game. And then from the consumer side, respecting the customer journey that all of us go through buying cycles different. We go through emotional cycles, life cycles, financial cycles, relationship cycles, and all of those have implications on the way in which we consume, create and grow.And so it has to be on both sides. And so on the consumer side, We also as, because we're all consumers, you guys consume my content. I consume yours. I eat a whole shit ton of empact bars in that shake. Like I consume, but we all on both sides of the coin have to be intentional about how we do it.And we all have to have that container of like you can sit here all day, listen to this podcast. You can listen to every podcast that we've ever put out. It's not going to change anything in your business. Not whatsoever. It's going to change your brain. And most likely it's going to hurt your business, increase the reactants to changing because now you feel even more fricking stuck.  And so I think that it's understanding that we're responsible on all sides to lead by example. And the one thing  that I sad over and over again is that everybody has to understand that the only reason the game is still played, the way that it is because everybody accepted the fucking rules.This is not a dictatorship. We make the rules based on how we play the game every day. And so that's why I challenge everybody to play the game and be where you want to be and go on one platform. If you want to go on one and not on the other seven, right? Write an email every day. If you want to, or write one a week, I don't give a shit, just pick one and being consistent so that we can grow and you can grow. You can create those relationships and move forward. And so, yeah, that's, I think about this one a lot. I really. I mean, I. I reflect on this. It's probably one of the biggest questions I ask. And like, obviously we teach relationships,beat algorithms. But that all comes from us getting plugged into ourselves.Because relationships only work if you know who you are who your team is, you know, who your customers are and in burst on that one. So,that's a really good one. And I love that too. And I think it's really important to be self aware.  April what you said is you're like I send mixed I'm impatient, like. You're not any of those things. Those are things that you have in the moment. They're not who you are, but it's the awareness of those that allow you to shift them. And that's really the secret sauce here. So Melanie, I'm going to, I'm going to X the conversation over to you. I'm going to toss it over to you with the same question. Like when you think about maybe it's your role in this world, an Empact bars, or maybe it's you and your journey, or maybe because you and I live in the CPG world where really shooting relationships. People take, they want everything upfront. It's all transactional. If you don't have money, you don't exist. Like if you look at this world of entrepreneurship, like in any part of it, what is one big thing that like you would change or want to see done differently?  Melanie: Yeah. I think one thing I've noticed recently, and even with myself is of course there's a lot of fear and there's a lot of negative feelings right now people are unsettled, unclear what the future holds and they're scared. And. I've seen a lot of people just become paralyzed and have made the decision that like, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna wait it out. I'm gonna live in inaction for a while. And I actually think that's the worst thing we can do right now.Like rather than letting this situation and environment define me I'm choosing to define,, take control of this situation and to find it myself. So look it was not hard for me when this first hit, I have three young kids. I would add a new business. I'm trying to do virtual schooling, which is a total crap shoot when you have young kids and one of my kids is too. I mean, it was laughable what we were trying to do every day in the house with three kids at home and a business. And. It was very easy for me to get stuck and I'm not out of it. It's been tough. I mean our business, every just like every other business we've had to pivot. And, but, but what I've done is really I have done so many things to not let this define me.I'm like, you want to give me a 75 hard challenge that's going to kick my ass. I'll take it. you want to throw a new business idea at me. I'll do it. I'm experimenting with breath, work and new kinds of meditation. And it's really interesting cause for someone who personal development, it was just not on my radar until about two years ago.  I just didn't understand it. I didn't like the word self help book. I still don't love that word. It's a bad description for what they do, but you know, I was defined by my environment and so I can relate to people who are, but I think inaction is the worst thing we can do right now. I think waiting it out.Like I understand the people are in tough situations and I mean, Everybody's situation is unique, but for me, I'm going to do everything I can, if anything, just to help me financially, but also with my mindset. So I'm not, you know, the statistics on depression right now and alcoholism are growing every day and like, I don't want, I don't want to be there and I'm committed to not letting that happen to me.So it may look really weird what I attempt to do. I mean, I may do some crazy shit just to get through this, but for me, at least I'm taking the steps to take control of it. And so if I could have anything changed and I'm certainly not trying to be judgmental on anybody, but it's just taking that action, join a challenge, like work towards something, be inspired. I mean, I think you right now, though, less and less of that is falling in our laps and we have to make it happen ourselves. Totally. And that's fine. That's what I think it would be.  George: This is my podcast. Nobody's fucking coming to save you. Nobody. And like, I mean that with love, right? Like I even looked at the beginning of this when this happened. And I was like, Oh, we'll be fine. Oh, we'll be fine.And now I'm two companies down and. Almost six figures a month lost revenue. I'm like, Oh shit. Okay, cool. And then if I look back and here's the thing, I look back, I'm like, what could I have done differently? And I'm like, Oh, I could have done this. I could have done this. I could have done this. I'm like, great. I couldn't do it then, but I can do it today. And like, that's the path forward?  Like Stefano says thisone of my business partners who coaches men and. He's like, you know, we ask all the time, like, how can I better serve? How can I better help? And the answer is always, you have to deepen your practice to deepen your service, right? Like you have to go in, there's a lot of opportunity here. There's a lot of loss. There's a lot of pain. And there has been for a long time in entrepreneurship which by the way, I think is one of the.The silver linings in this is that it's putting a magnifying glass on like how unsupported small businesses are, how tilted in the favor of big business and power control and everything is, and now it's really coming o

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @NIGHTWORLDPODEmail us- nightworldpod@hvbrecordings.comSEASON 1 LOOKING THROUGH THE TUNNEL WILL RUN FROM JUNE UNTIL THE END OF OCTOBER.NIGHT WORLD IS RECORDED AT NIGHT SOUND STUDIOS IN CARRBORO NORTH CAROLINA. THE MUSIC FEATURED IN EPISODE 5 THE FOUNDATION IS FROM SFRBEATS.COMNIGHT WORLD a PODCAST is written  & performed by Arvid, 8TATE HYE, & Zaf. Glenn Schwartz is our recording engineer. Please leave reviews, subscribe and share this podcast.Episode 5- ART COLLAGES [00:13-02:13] & AN ASK [02:16-03:25] : ART COLLAGES Art collagesDifferent type of projectsI don't know what I'll getI juh let tha lord inIf I go through change thenI'll start rearranging Life from all of my agesPull wisdom from those stagesPlace it on pagesUse it to find my way inArt collagesI've been gone too oftenOften in my head zoneI can't get this day wrongWasting all this day timeI can't seem to save timeAll this life around meCovered in surroundings Blue light screensAs the day light gleams And it melt ice cream But the things I've seenAre frightening Art Collages I cannot offsetThe means by which we all getLife in our pocketsLately lay down Concrete in playgroundKids don't stay aroundWe don't lay aroundOff in the movementsThat keep us glued inTasks at hand thoughWhere our plans goArt Collages Paper mache gardensThings we pick from screens To try and live the dreamDistractions distractions Man ain't nobody laughing I use to play clownSo I could wear crownThey only stare downYou think you on moundEven on stiltsYou couldn't reach it to hillPlayin to a crowdSoaking in shroudsThey only hear you you loud When you voice what they mouthI could switch styles And I can go milesStill be a part of the pileRinse it wash itArt Collages Peace or knowledge I could wear garmentsBut I could not garner PeacePeace ×3Piece Of a greater installation I tried to fit my way inAt three thirty I'd a never fit in HuhJean's dirty pockets got lint Huh Stuck with a tintMake me far from a tenAll I've been inI ain't made outta tin The thinCoatingMy youth eroding This bloatingImploding With pain self loathing I've been goadingThe man in the mirrorTo go head and cheer upSheer love for selfIs empty the wellWishes gone staleThe viel Of needing and keeping Make sure that you failMix peace with deep breathing Ensure you prevail AN ASKHey guiding light I know it's not the timeBut my day's been dynamite An I can use your lineLost my wayYeah I knowHate to stayCan't let goPut my mindGave the timeTowed the linesCut these vinesPowered through All I do What did I do Accept the new Respect the OLDMy head my toes They bother meMy clothes my shoes won't father meMy chains won't honor meEvery thing I want to beVersus every thing I ought to beHonestly The fear in meMy head on meMy enemyWhat I'll never beOff center meIt do ×3The restless strollsMy head my toesI bet I knowThe well that holdsMY VISIONSMY ACTIONS are MY Oppositions All these Acts that make up livinI'm More my pop than I Care to mentionAll my lows Oh My Lord Please don't hold itCan we throw ItHope I make itIf I make ItForgive my statementsI can foster Patience Patience ×3I do NOT give peace to hopeOr design to freedomWhere I leave itWill Chain up freedomThis world Leaves me in aweI hope I can leave with it all 

Illjaz of the Ruffn'x crew talks about the European breaking scene, coming to America, and various other important topics in breaking.A broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here:https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoys----more----[Music]this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by math are you anintellectual because you can solve amath problem posted on social mediausing the correct order of operationsyou operate on a higher plane ofintelligence because you recognize thatalgebra is the mathematicalrepresentation of knowing how many boxesof tissues you can buy for five dollarsafter losing that dance competitioncongratulations you are officially aconnoisseur of fifth grade mathematicsand well on your way to mastering sixthgrade mathematics however if this isn'tyoudon't fret I'm excited to announce toall my listeners that math does not needto be a burden on your life it is asubject that not only has immensepracticality but it will also help traincritical thinking and strengthen yourlogic based argumentative skills pleaseconsult a local library or onlineresource for further information on howmath can change your life and now ontothe show[Music]in this episode I talk with a b-boy whohas significant experience in both theEuropean and American breaking scenesthis guy really puts me on game aboutlife as a dancer in Europe in the early90s I had a great time learning abouthis history and picking his brain aboutvarious topics please enjoy the episodewith ill jazz or Elyas of the Roughneckshello everybody welcome to the disastershow that I just fucked up Dana pressrecord so here we are hopefully I cansalvage something from what we recordedwith my boy ill jazzhe's from Switzerland we are talkingabout break dancing and you know how Idon't know how to record podcast so okhow long have you been dancing oh I so Istarted dancing with my younger brotherhe's one and a half year younger than meand we started in 9899 okay and it was agood time I'm happy we started still inthe nineties yeah and before that weplayed soccer we did inline skating likehalfpipe and everything and then we tieand then one day we we saw like the RunDMC it's like that music you know andthat was like dope and shit you know butwhen when to use scented they have ahalfpipe and we went with the inlineskates yeah and then we look insidethere was a zombie voice you knowunderneath no it was a halfpipe andthere was a building right next to it ohand there were windows and I looked inthe windows and then I want I needed togo to the bathroom I go inside and I seesomebody doing 90 oh I didn't know what90 is you know and that was a shit Iwant to learn that you know and thensince then we threw out the inlineskates and we started breaking and sohow old were you I was 15 15 that'sprobably about when I startto us and 14 or 15 em and I had noflexibility because of Socratic likeXena almost like I was pretty flexiblewhen I started because I did Taekwondofor a long time and so we would you knowyou'd have to kick really high and stuffso I was kind of flexible from that butI used to skateboard actually um so Iknew about half pipes and stuff I had alot of friends that did inline skatingand so we would go to those lots ofskate parks and I wish I had beenbraking at that time cuz I totally wouldhave done windmills on it because it wasjust so smooth yeah I didn't break Iquit I kind of quit skating to breakyeah because it was waiting let's I justfelt like skating was so dangerousno it's I saw so many people just falland break the wrists my cousin broke hiswrist actually but I had another friendwho broke his ankle and they were doinglike you know shitty tricks yeah youknow kickflip and they like mob and it'slike if you did a windmill and brokeyour arm like you know what I mean it'sjust the generic you know beginner tricksort of like the sport and you justbreak you know I I started with skatingfirst actually yeah and then I went tothe mini ramp and I went there theskateboard stayed thereoh do back oh yeah I tried I triedinline skating I picked it up prettyeasily actually but I just never was toointo it um I was just more intoskateboarding yeah but I had somefriends they would like you know jump upand grind on stairs they showed me howto do that so I learned kind of some todo that stuff man like 10 years after Ihaven't done anything on the inlineskates mm-hmm I stand on the halfpipe Icouldn't go down it's scary yeah I waslike man how did I do that yeahyou know what I mean yeah no shit we'renot yeah when I was in she wouldn't Iwas skating I think I started when I wasprobably like 11 and I went tillprobably 15 or 16 maybe and yeah I usedto go on half pipes and stuff and now Ilook at him like holy yeah and it wouldgo off like stairs and stuff and go ontorails and I'm like what the heck how didI even do this I mean I wasn't reallygood at it or anything but I just I feellike I was maybe less fearless yeahyeah now yeah yeah back then we just didit man yeah I remember when I started alittle bit braking and still a littlebit in Nice skatinghey they have like this ramp going downand then this little island yeah I flewyou know I started breaking I had somuch energy and different I flew overthat thing and I landed like two metersaway from it you know and that was likeshit whatever I gotta do I just roll thereally coin drop and then you know whatbraking has saved my life a couple timesgood yeah there was times when I wentsnowboarding and you just you're goingso fast down a hill and you just hitlike something and you just eat shit andI'm like you know I probably should havebeen wearing a helmet but I wasn't andit's just like woop and then for somereason it kicks in I'm like oh I knowhow to like land and I'll do a coin dropor something in like you know so my headdoesn't get hit and you know I kind ofrollers or whatever to roll out and thenI stand up and people are like I gotsomething from cats yeah cuz I mean in away braking is just like falling butshowing off at the same time sort ofsmooth so it's like you got you you gotgood at jumping on the ground yeahbut fun fact is when we started breakingwe thought it's a sport oh you did yeahlike so we yeah before we startedbreaking with inline skates we welistened we discovered to puck and weknew that hip-hop and Cypress Hill yeahyou know to pass episode exhibit NWA alittle bit you know so all that madetheir way to but I thought this iship-hop yeah yeah in the nineties men welistened all the golden era yeah and wethought that's hip-hop but we didn'tknow aboutwe knew graffitis somehow mixed withhip-hop you know DJs they have therappers have a DJ you know but we didn'tknow breaking is part of hip-hop youknow but when we started we learn allthe four elements and yeah knowledge theculture and everything you know yeahyeah but first we we did it because welike this sport yeah yeah yeah I meanit's it's definitely cool and I firstsaw I mean I I don't know when I firstsaw I think I first saw it when I usedto watch pro wrestling and there was agroup - cool and the one guy his specialmove was he would just throw you on theground and then he would just dancearound you and then do the worm she allthe way across the ring and then justwhoo and like elbow using the base I wasin probably in middle school I wasprobably maybe 12 years old when I firstsaw that so I thought breakdancing waswrestling that's crazy but so yeah butmaybe because we stop breaking in onlymusic videos you know back then you knowand it was all kinds of music it wasn'tonly like hip-hop music yes like housemusic dance music you know techno youwere always saw a b-boy somewhere youknow yeah so we didn't connect it withhip-hop yeah I think in the 90s that waswhen house music started really likecolliding a lot with with hip-hop yeahyeah yeahbut yes so I'm interested in like howhip-hop looks in Europe compared to herecuz just like I've seen hip-hop as Igrew up here and I imagine it's waydifferent in Europe because like herehip-hop was always associated with likegangs and like you know people mischiefcausers he's done you know I mean I meanI don't know there is two ways ofhip-hop like people that are passive andthere are people that are active youknow they like back in the 90s hip-hopin Europe was like you're not hip-hop ifyou're not in an element you know if youbeatbox you okay you when it's not likereally official apart or of hip-hop butyou're still hip-hop you know okay butif you break or beatbox or MC or DJ orgraffiti you you part of hip-hop andthen there is other people they justfriends and they hang out with and theydress a pup listen hip up and whateverbut they're not active you know okaythat's how you us okay I guess it's kindof like that now yeah yeah I know butmore back in the day it was like yougotta be super down like b-boy was yourlife you know you you lived that lifeyeah we used to go like to Germany youknow like 16 I told our parents thatwe're gonna go to a friend we're gonnapractice and then stay over there but wewent like 500 that's the way you know wetrain and we go to a different city toJohnny go to hm next day practice andthen come back yeah you know it wasn'tgood timing yeah like when we went firsttime bad luck year 19 2000 or 2001 wetrain it was like five six hours away wetrain and then you go to the Battle ofyear cipher everything and eventeverything and then you go the event isover after party is over and then youhave to wait for the Train the firsttrain that starts going back home yousee like a hundred of b-boys at thetrain station just inside for practicechilling some people sleeping in thecorner starting practicing andexchanging you know people like peoplesfrom France Germany Holland SwitzerlandItaly you know you connect you knowexchange and practice that's cool and itwasn't backed and it wasn't like reallya cypher and or calling out somebody butit was more of a circlesomebody practiced something you knowand you go there and exchange and hey dothis like this or ain't look try likethat look I do something similar youknow so was it like a pretty friendlyscene in Europe in terms of like becausebecause what I'm used to is like I'vecome from Sacramento in you know we justget all jump in a car and we'd go to theother city to do a jam or something andeverybody calls us out because it's likehey you're in our neighborhood and wewould just get battled so that's niceman it's like it was almost I mean itwas definitely less friendly now it's alot more friendly I can come you knowlike me moving to LA if I had done thatwhen I first started breaking I probablywould have got battled for like a solidyou know three or four months and peoplewere like okay I think this guy's coolyou know cuz dude the first time I thinkI went to a practice in Sacramento likeI was in high school and like we justshow up and they're like who are thesethere's me and my brother that we justshow up and they're like who are thesetwo kids and we like couldn't even do doanything really like my brother could doin vert and like I think I don't knowwhat I could do like a head slide andfreeze or something and that's like ouronly moves I guess we seriously we'rebreaking for maybe like six months andit's like the whole like room is apsycho fuck these comments we on thetitle you know and then I think you knowafter you battle a couple times thenthey realize okaytrying to cause harm or like because thething was that everyone was scared thatyou're gonna like bite their moves stealtheir yeah so it was like you knowthey're automatically sort of hostile toyou but imagine you guys would havestopped dancing because of that you knowyeah what's up it wouldn't ya know Imean yeah there was a lot of reasons tostop I mean for sure but it but it's itwas all the way it makes you strongeryou know to not give up and you stay onit you know motivate you maybe you knowI just yeah it was just I had to learnwhat the scene was like you know whatwhat was acceptable in the scene and gowith that you know like well I think Iremember I told this in another podcastbut I remember we brought this thisshitty camera because me and my brotherused to we used to make a lot of homevideos we used to make like skits wewere really into MADtv do you rememberMADtv it's like Saturday Night Live'sokay so we used to make all these stupidskits and stuff so we had our parentsgot us this like really crappy videocamera so we can make all these stupidskits just for fun and then we broughtit to go practice cuz we were just gonnafilm ourselves and stuff and then peopleare like what are you doing with thiscase you get beat up for like bringing acamera to practice and stuff because youknow because they automatically thinkyou're filming these guys to take theirmoves on amou say yeah we learned realquick don't bring the camera therewe brought the camera yeah very early inour training you know to see what theydo wrong because we were the youngesttoo and there were all the generationyou might know buzzer City attack ohthat's the older generation they battledrock four screw in the 90syeah so control so Cujo and there wasthe older generation and we look up tothem and but we didn't get like help youknow so oh we got this ourself you knowhe was looking me and I was looking himand then we see the older generation andwhat what's the difference between himand you you knowyeah that's how we learn you know thenbring the camera and see what we dowrong yeah that's how we stop we werethe youngest and our first battle wasalso about a six month in her making inthe first round we won against all theguys yeah keep going you know you'regood we're goodthat next round we battle younger guysthe nose and the smoker so yeah thenyeah and then it's like man we need topractice was a good wake-up call andthen we from then on we startedpracticing every day you know some dayseight hours yeah our parents didn'tbelieve that we we practice eight hoursthey thought we're doing somethingcriminal you know yeah exactlywe would do kind of the same thing canyou practice eight hours yeah but it'sjust like you get totally immersed intothat that world and you just wanna youhave a focus to get better I thinkeventually my parents realize we're notdoing anything bad yeah like and theysaw us getting better at it so it's likeoh they're obviously like practicingthis so yeah like all right whatever andwe we also stole my parents camera youknow you didn't have their camera andthey used it only for a special whenfamily came to visit us you know so wejust took it and then practice and thensometimes they would see the tape youknow we just buy a new tape put it inand then record yeah take the tape outso they see but we were like crazyaddicted to practice man yeah not evenjust battling just practice you know tolearn the move to yeah you know we werethere first and we left there the lastyou know people were coming and goingand we're still there yeah yeah yeah Imean I was the same way just alwayspracticing always practicing definitelythat's like my favorite part notbreaking for sure is just like gettinggetting down playing like your favoritemusic and just practicing coming up withsome new movies training some new stufftraining old stuff you know it's that'sthat I feel like that's where the realcreativity comes in when you're outbattling whenperforming and stuff it's just kind ofshowing off you do what you know yeahyou're just I think if you practicedwell and then it's the performance inthe battle is gonna go it's gonna gowell because you did you did thehomework but the the real work is reallywhen you're practicing and trying tofigure no you know how I prepares forbattlesI never prepared full set oh no like Inever practiced full sets in practiceyeah because then if I'm gonna just dothe same solar what I did in practiceit's gonna be boring it's not gonna havethat fire feeling whatever you know so Ialways put like practice only half setokay yeah and then practice I do onlyhave sets and then I maybe just add somepower moves just to so I have thecondition the cardio but in the battle Iwould mix my small set together you knowlike I put three sets in one yeah sothen you know so it's always new it'salways fresh and you can alwaysimprovise it freestyle it and yeah youknow depends of the music moment andeverything you know I used to make fullsets and it just got really boring to meto do that so what I started doinginstead is practicing those full setsand then when I go to battleI just don't think about them I justtotally try to just focus on you knowthe battle focus on the music focus onmy opponent and just let it happen and Iyou know I practice a lot of freestylingtoo so it's like I know that thematerial I have this you know the set ofmoves I put together I know that it'sgood and if I don't do it perfectly Iknow how to freestyle out of it and soon it gives me confidence to just go outthere and basically with a clear mindand just let it happen and I think thatthat's a way better way of breaking yesbefore I would go out and go okay I needa pre-plan everything and it distancesyou from everything from the moment fromthe music from the battle DJand it's just I don't think that's agood way to do it yeah I but I wasalways trying to figure out a good wayto mix you know because there's a lot ofcreativity in the combinations that youput together that you pre-plan I alwayswanted to be able to still showcase thatbut I don't want it to look sodisjointed yeah and so the yeah the waythat I figured out how to do that is tojust make some sets and be content withnot doing that and by practicing them somany times and then you just kind offorget itit just kind of happens or like piece ofmemory and yeah it's almost exactly it'slike I mean like with martial arts a lotof times you'll train like a combinationlike a kick punch combination you knowhit hit to the body hit to the head orwhatever and you train that so manytimes going you actually are fightingyou might not do the full combinationyou'll do like one two part of it youmight do it twice in a row you mightlink this combination to that one justbecause you see the opportunities andyou you have to improvise you improviseto make it happen and so I I took a lotfrom thatyeah very good yeah and so since I'vestarted doing that I feel like it'shelped me a lot but then for example Iwanted to say some bash beam for examplethat meets in German for example when westarted performing like performancesshows right it's a much easier than forus right so because then we prepare asolo for the show to the music you knowso you can be much more confidence in aperformance yeah yeah yeah because weare if you think about it in a battleyou are in so many uncomfortable yesinaudible but somehow you practice to becomfortable you know and in aperformance you're fully comfortable youknow yeah so you can shine much easier Ihope if you go like to a quarry yourworld people struggle and are nervousyou know yeah I never understood in thebeginning why are you guys nervous manwe've been practicing this I don't knowhow long yeahyou know I think it's just because thereyou're in front of a bunch of people youdon't know and you're like you knowyou're out in front of everybody andjust doing what you want to do andthere's a little bit of fear that theymight not like what you're doing but youjust gotta go man who caresyou really care yeah you have to do yourthing with you just got it you cannotchange it anymore you know what yeah init and really at the end of the day ifthat whole crowd says you suck like doyou really care yeah yeah it probablystings a little bit but then you go likemen I don't give a fuck about these yeahthat's the best thing when you dosomething you love you know yes I'mbetter because what other people thinkyou know what I mean yeah I I take thesame approach with like judges too youknow like when you're actually battlingand the judges vote against you or votefor you really like really I look at itas they're just they're they're a crowdmember and they're just saying you thattheir opinion of you was either you wantor you lost but I I really think that ifyou enjoy what you did then youshouldn't really worry too much aboutthat I mean you could obviously like tolisten to what they have to say becausethey might have some insight intosomething you maybe didn't know aboutyour own dancing um and that's alwaysgood to do but at the end of the day ifyou enjoy what you do I don't think youshould let anything holding me hold youback so like the way the way I alwaysput it was like if my mom was a judgeand she was like you suck I'd probablybe like okay maybe I gotta practice welllike if some random dude that I don'teven know it's like oh I thought youlost and I honestly thought I won I'd belike okay well whatever you don'tyeah it's mean was totally different inthe beginning you know I when I wasyoung I was getting mad when I left thejudges men you have no idea and but thatcomes with maturity you know if you loseand you take it easyyeah but yeah yeah I would get mad tooeventually you get to the point whereit's like win or lose it doesn't reallymatter that much like cuz again it'sjust three people three or five peopleyou know judging on this thing and theyjust said you want are you lostI mean I'm one battle is that I thoughtI lost and I was like I want I rememberI there's a couple of them where I waslike dude I walked to the judges I waslike dude you got this wrong and I gavemy prize money to the other guy cuz Iwas like dude I didn't win and I'm notjust cuz these dudes say that I wantthat's correct I'm not gonna keep themoney because I thought you you knowthis dude one or this crew one so I justgave it to them there I've done thatlike a couple times that I can think ofprobably two or three times it's crazyman but it's just cuz you know I don'tbreak to like make to get money oranything it's like I just want I justwant to do it and I like battling butthe competition part of it I don'treally care that much about it it's it'sfun to win but I don't like I don't likewinning when I don't think I'm that'scrazy man that you gave money you know Inever heard that beforeI mean I know people and I used to beone of those yes I needed to win moneyto pay rent and yeah you know what Imean so because I didn't do performancesie back in the days I battles was moreimportant to me than performances youknow K so and I needed to win thatbattle too yeah you know to pay somestuff up and then years later I judgedcompetition and in the final I judge andagainst one guy and he told man yeah youknow it came to me like what okay Iunderstand but man I need the money manI need to pay bills and there was I saidman I was to say like you you can neverrely on winning palace to pay yourperson I thinkyeah I I I mean there was times when Iwas I could be I could have been in thatsituation but I was like what I need todo is actually cook his job so I got ajob instead of like I mean there'd betimes where I I needed some quick moneyor something and so we would go and dosome street shows and stuff so that wasgood to kind of and that's always beenmy back-up plan in a way if like youknow the world blew up or something andI don't have any moneyI'd go do a street show I know that I'dsurvive for at least one day yeah cuz Icould do I could at least do somewindmills and someone might give me alike but ya know I was always like okayI need to just go get a job to actuallypay ya there's been times when I neededto win again but I I really hated theidea of like needing to win - yeah andand well and also - I was always scaredof the idea that you know I might bewinning and don't deserve the win and soI was it always made me feel like crapto even think of that situation in thismoment I with the time I learned tounderstand that you know it's in soccerfor example you take the ball and put itin the net that's a goal that's a pointyeah but in art it's hard to to give apoint here or here you know it's anopinion if those charges think you wantyou know it's it's their opinion evenyou did maybe just a baby freeze and theguy did the baby freeze - 90 baby freezeyou know and they liked your form bitbetter maybe you know yeah so it's it'shard to judge art you know it's veryhard so that's my yeah that thatactually is a good segue to a question Ihave because now breaking is becomingkind of more of a mainstream sporteventually getting into the Olympics yousee like big sponsored events andstuff and my fear is that we are doingthis but don't have a solid way ofjudging it because it is an art and youknow I think the way that we've alwaysjudged it makes sense for the smallcommunity that we have as b-boys butlike when it comes to the mainstreamstage where there's like lots of moneylots of sponsors involved if you thinkabout white yea H and you know comparingit to you know soccer for instance orlike basketball or any kind of sportthat's on a huge main main stage that Idon't think the judging system we haveright now is is gonna cut it becausewhat's gonna happen is a sponsor isgonna look at it and be like ok why didthis guy win over that guy and you go ohbecause these three judges said so okaywell what exactly made them say that youknow he's got you know 50 years in thegame and he thought that his backspinwas better than this guy's windmill andthen the sponsors gonna be like no thatdoesn't make any senseI'm out look for me it's how I comparedhow I compared breaking to mix martialarts right you remember mixed martialarts in the beginning yeah nineties itwas like a karate guy versus of wrestleryeah jujitsu guy was kickboxer you knowthere was like we had Shawn versus likeyeah and that is a Wild West that'sbreaking I would say most of the timethat's that's it right because there isall right now but it's been four yearsthat you have a guy that does more likefoundation style or a guy that does moreblow up style or a Power Move guy or mixguy you know but a complete mixedmartial artist is somebody that can dolike kickboxing wrestling jujitsu takeone toe karate whatever you know andthat should be with be born into menlike if you want to be an Olympicchampion you cannot justroll around and do Foundation and thefries and that's it you cannot beOlympic champion with only that you haveto have all the elements you know inbreaking and you have to put it on alevel you know so everybody understandsotherwise it's gonna be like you saidyou know people will not understand ityou know yeah I think with mixed martialarts it's a good example of this becauseyeah back in the day it was just thesestyles versus each other and eventuallyit evolved people were seeing thatcertain styles were just dominatingevery everything and so then it evolvedto where now the fighter isn't just thisone style he takes a little piece ofthis other style and it makes thembetter but and so like eventually yousaw everybody now doing that same thingall taking out different pieces of it sonow you see guys that I mean basicallyand I'm not like a an authority on thisor anything but like in general likeusually a good fighter would have somegood striking some good grappling andsome good crown stuff and so and thatwould make them somewhat effectiveagainst anybody and that's what that'sthe type that's a style that flew to youknow to the to the top of it mixedmartial arts in I mean Zee right let'stake Conor McGregor right he's astand-up guyyeah southpaw very effective yeah but hehad to learn takedown defense grapplingyou know he had to learn because youguys would do that yeah you know he'sgot to but now or maybe the last coupleyearsthere is people like young people theycome up with the full game they don'tstart they don't come from karate orfrom rest oh yeah they come and traineverything right away there is MMA gymsand like from 2:00 to 3:00 it'swrestling from 5:00 to 6:00 iskickboxing from 7:00 to 8:00 is MuayThai and then jujitsu from 9:00 to 10:00you know and they train all at the sametime so it's a complete fighter thatshould be with be going man yeah seelike a standard that would be a standardwith mixed martial artsI see how it makes sensedo it because it's the most effectiveway of fighting and like having thisbroad range of ability to combat againstall these different things it makessense for fighting but like withbreaking I think there's an argument tobe made that you're not you're notnecessarily you know the the the full Iguess how do you say maybe like fullpackage of b-boy one who has like everysingle Power Move every single likefootwork move every single whatever Ithink there's an argument to be madethat somebody who maybe doesn't do thatbut has a strong certain part of youknow one of those styles and can beeffective against them because there's alot of creativity and artistry thatcomes in with it and that's what you'rereally being that that's what you'rethat's that's the main way of I guesswinning a battle I guess is what I'msaying like cuz in fighting you getpunched in the face and you get knockedout or you get yes submitted you lose sothe best way to get to that is to beable to defend against it and go andattack that way right but in breakingthere's not like there's not a there'snot like a I guess a relation tofighting in that way because you don'tnecessarily need to do a specific powermove or whatever to win a battle orwhatever yeah I mean we don't have to do5-1 and our flare so yeah and 90s youknow but at least have some basic powermoves you know because that part ofbreaking you know if people say if youdon't do food work you know the b-boyhey if you don't do windmill backspinhead spin thank you another b-boy - yeahthey were here before cc's you know whatI mean but I know what you mean withlike artistry and just own style youknow and everythingMaina for example yeah you know so yeahyeah like Meno for instance he's does alot of like footwork and flowy type ofminutes not a lot of powernot a lot of top rods not a lot of Imean that's kind of really the onlystudy he doesn't do a lot of freezeseither and then compared to let me picksomebody someone who's missing one finalhuh let's bc one final did you see thatwho was in kazakhstan guy Ohk2 lost something khailayes yeah yeah that guy is really goodyou know you know I could see how it wasclose I think actually men will probablythought he lost too and that's why Icalled him out four more rounds um Imean I thought it was pretty close if Iwas a judge I probably would have votedKilla koyla me to it you know I'm notjudging because I personally justthought that he he had brought more tothe table and had unique style hesuppresses doing was a lot of uniquefreezes and stuff and he came out everywrong with some new stuff easily youknow yeah he's a pretty well-roundedb-boy but I would say he still airs onyou know more of like a thread type ofstyle and um like a freeze type of styleI'm trying to think of a b-boy thatwould be like very very well-rounded andthat's it like um he's better soon hehas power I think which flips yes theless food work yeah okay so let's gowith him yeah so him versus menace sosomeone who's well rounded versussomeone who's very specialized I couldsee how it could go either way with thatto those and that's also one round hedepends what round but you know let'slet's say they both throw their likedopest around though rightyou know Meno does some crazy likeloop-d-loopspin around thing one mean the flowingwaves yeah and it's a really dope roundin their little zoo duck comes outdoesn't flip does power moves us somefreezes does some footwork hits a solidroundI think there's an argument to be madethat either one of them would have wonyou know it's awesome depends on themusic but I think this was mixed martialarts he probably would have been like ohthe new well-rounded guy would win youknow but you know such distancesometimes in MMA you know and thenjudges take it yeah decided wrong but Iguess I guess if you in mixed martialarts if you had a guy who's very good atmultiple styles versus one guy who'smaybe just good at let's say kickboxingyeah you know I mean this is a hard topredict example or anything but I wouldsay you probably would put your money onthe guy who's more well-rounded justbecause he can like attack from multipleanglesright and he could get this got theother guy into a situation that that guycannot defend in whereas the other guyis banking on being able to like keephim in his in his world where he's thebest right whereas in breaking I feellike the guy who's very specialized hecan still like blow you up the samething that the gut the guy who is verywell-rounded can still blow you up andso the the moves are just as effectivein a way you know what I mean and thestrategy is a little bit differentbecause this guy doesn't need to keepyou in his pocket anymore he just needsto perform and kill it right and thisguy needs to do basically the same thingkeep it in his pocket and do what he'sgood at you know visually better yeahthat's been important but yeah what'sgonna make it look visually better isthe music you know the music I thinkthat's breaking what plays a big factorthat's the biggest compared to MMA ohyeah yeah really breaking is hard toobut compared to any I think it's theclosest thing sports wise to comparebreaking with MMA I would say a decisionyou cannot compare with soccer orfootball there's not really a goodthere's a sport I can think of thateveryone compares to the things that Ithink make the most senseis somewhere between mixed martial artsand skateboarding or like something likethat there's a sports 3 the reason I saylike sporting because in a lot of thathas to do with like they'll they'll makeup a trick knee and go like this is whatI'm gonna do it's like yeah it's it'sjust like making up your own breakingyeah you know but then skateboardingkind of it doesn't quite match upbecause then you see okayhe's he says oh I'm gonna do thistricking and they judge you on how wellyou hit that trick but in breakingyou're not telling any judge what you'regonna do you're gonna surprise them andprobably surprise them with the movethat they've never seen beforeyeah and so you have this surprisefactor too so it's really hard to youknow nowadays I I miss the exchangesometimes in battles you know yeah yeahback in the days when I talked to stormyou know they they would do like andthat's how I grew up you know mm-hmm Iconsider him the only master linebreaking it I never took his class orsomething but I took his locking classyeah but I I learned from him just bylistening you know okay andconversations with him yeah I justremember him you do like a six-step youcan go like no you try like Big Brotherand T you can learn so much and I canlisten for days to him you know yeahwhen he talks III don't talk man I justlisten and then I ask something you knowbut how I grew up with bounces exchangeyou know for example he tells me like hehas somebody do flare windmill babyfreeze and then he goes footwork andthen ends it nice you know I have to gothere and I have to do flare windowflare windmill turtle and then go in afreeze and then go up and you know whatI did better and then he has to come andbring it never that's how we yeah youknow a burden that's like exchange youknow ace yeahyeah on the podcast like a couple weeksago a couple of months ago actually umhe and he told me a story about when hehe doesn't call it battle but I wouldsay it probably was a battle between himand storm mm-hmm when storm was visitingand I guess they just went they you knowbattle like 30-something rounds orwhatever and it was like that they werejust exchanging like they would just oneup each other each time and it wasn'tlike they weren't you know you knowtalking smack to each other it was theywere respecting each other and he wouldbe like oh that was dope let me show youthat I can do now did it do to do andhe'd go oh that's cool too and then thisis how I would do that boom and so theyjust went back and forth for 30 roundsit may seem I mean that's that's crazybut it's also like back then it was likepractice you know yeah each other youexchange and you know but when youbattle inside for like ladies generationyeah and when the people start talkingwhen they're unsecured and then they seethat they're losing I have to talk tohim that so he messes up and you knowwhat I I hear that I made this rule withshit-talking is I'm not gonna sayanything unless they say it but if theydo talk I'm gonna say the wildest thingso that they feel terrible and sobecause like I don't know I've alwaysbeen good at like talking shit to peoplebecause I just I have a lot of friendsthat we would do that to in battles it'sit's you know I always try to be veryrespectful but as soon as somebody sayssomething I'm like okay I got I can makeand I usually don't make fun of theirbreaking I usually just make I don'tlike that part of breaking I think Ithink it's I think it's kind of it'sit's taking the focus off of yourdancing and putting it more on your likemind games which I don't you know I meanI guess this in a way that's kind of howgreat how battling is but I don't know Iand I don't like I don't think it's trueand I to to what it should beyeah but like I said if somebody's gonnatake a shot at me I'm like well I'm 32 Igot I got nothing better to do let mejust talk yeah of course maybe you haveto defend yourself yeah but man my bestmemory of call outs is I had a crewmember back in 2003 yeah thing aroundTroy Kehoe was his name and somebodycalled him out you know because he wastalking smack and he said yeah come onokay now you you know give me 10 minutes[Laughter]because he was flexible he didn't wantto get the injury you know he needed towarm up and then what yeah man give me10 mins how did he call you is he likeno no another guy called my friend outyou know my friend said give me tenminutes and then he he lost one time helost a battle and then he calls out boomyou know their friend you know it's funto get called up as long as like it'snot it's not fun when there's like beefsomeone's trying to like cause sometrouble I think that gets kind of crazybecause in but you usually just turnsinto a fight which I really don't likein breaking there's like there's reallyno room for violencethat's why you break right yeah so wedon't touch each other there's been alot of times where there's likedefinitely my old crew flexible Flav wewould get into some crazy battles cuzyou know some crew would be beefing withus and so then we'd get into a newget crazy crazy cut everything escalatedand people with ok crew it start pushingeach other and then it's like you knowas soon as that happens it's like ohthis is gonna turn into a ok crew bellsyes we got many colors in crew bad okand we are like my crew and me we arelike produce most of them don't danceregularly ok but we still like brothersyou know yeah but back then we crewbelts we belt like almost a lot of crewsalmost many crews here yeah we go tofriends would bail like whoever is onthe opposite side you know we go to yesAmerica or Germany whatever whoever isacross us and they do something that wedo better we go inside and show way yeahyeah and then it starts so so actuallythis is something that probably gotdeleted from because we didn't recordbut you were talking about we first cameto America in 2007 for freestyle sessionin 10 with my whole crew yeah and westayed the machete hostel on HollywoodBoulevardeverybody talks about yeah it's funnycuz like outside of Hollywood people areprobably like oh Hollywood's is greatdude it's like freaking bums pooping onthe streets and stuff it's all bad crazyHollywood yeah but yeah there's a lot ofshit was crazy em and to come herefreestyle session we grew up with thosetapes yeah yeah and so then once youwere here it was probably a big likeculture shock huh yeah that was thefirst time you came to America secondtime I came first time was 2003 in SanDiego okay it was like there is like aheap of community company called cultureshock yeah you know if you know and thatwas in the soup Switzerland cultureshock oh and we came to San Diego toperform at the culture of showcase ohthat's cool okay then back then I bailedactually I bailed rainin yeah raininganda long time yeah he's in Vegas Vegas andall Cutshaw peoples of San Diego and myfriend that was a b-boy he didn't findthe way to the circle you know so I wasthere aloneand I bet like three four B voice oh youknow but I did like my thing you know Idid like already elbow one and a halfand I need some car plates you knowbecause men in Europe I never starteddancing like on the street you know wehad a nice youth center we had nice woodfloor yeah you know so I came to shitcarpet oh man no it's been no 90s yeahthat was the first time it was a goodexperience and then second time my wecame with my crew 2007 please let's Ishouldn't ten when did you decide tolive herewe came in 2010-11 new year when it wasvery cold in Switzerland we came to LAit was nice weather so my brother me wecame here to to practice and see how isthe industry because we take alsohip-hop classes also hip-hop and we sawhow how it is they industry you know andwe see b-boys here and they poke chopmovies and commercials and stuff likeman we can do some good stuff here youknow we decided to move here okay I wantto move here since a long time but 2014was the time to move yeah make yourbrother 2015 I don't know if I felt himit was like a seven to smoke in that fitExpo in convention center yeah that'sright he did surprising he doesn'treally battle that often so yeah we washaving fun man I like to start becauseIII I could see like yeah yeah he'shaving fun you know it's not like tryingto kill that other guy in a bell youknowyeahthat's good like when there is a bigdifference if you have a funny style butthere is I I always watch the skills youknow if you have a funny character or aserious character you watch how itmatches with the level of the skills youknow yeah and I said she has a level ofskills and he is having fun you know hedoesn't take it too serious you know hedoesn't need to take it too serious towin around you know so that's why I likeit and I remember him like his style islike kind of goofy and then him as aperson he's like more like serious and Ithink that my style as a breaker is moreserious and my personality is probablymore goofy than him swiss-styleI always ask people can you tell that meand him our brothers buy our styleno it's yeah I think if you look closeenough you can tell because we do a lotof the same moves it's just he doesn'twe do them differently from and but weyou know we learned from the same peoplewe you know practice like every daytogetherso it's weird how our Styles divergedlike that but I don't know yes moreflexible right he's he's more flexiblethan me and I think I'm more like flowythan him yeah and so and then I probablydo more power moves than him he doesmore freezes than me but that's maybethe main differences I mean my brothermy brother does everything more than me[Laughter]yeah so I guess in terms of like breakbreaking for you now are you still intocompeting or you just I haven't battledin many years okay yeah I belt I thinkmaybe once or twice since I moved toAmerica oh reallyyeah because I didn't move for battlingyeah yeah you know for the industry andeven my like last serious bad that weyou know with my crew and everything wasleft year 2011 yeah because I had like acrazy surgery I tore my biceps andtriceps ligament oh yeah I miss my armsyou know and that was a thing how do youdo a thousand 90s on that arm a lot ofphysical therapy and yeah but in it wasactually in June it's gonna be ten yearsago that I thought I'm gonna stopdancing yeah I'm gonna work a regularjob and that's it for me I lived a goodlife and I enjoyed my hobby for manyyears and that's it that's why I enjoynow what I don't have to practice setsor you know that I don't prepare forsocial I just have fun you know yeah youknow I don't mind doing competitionsonce in a while because it keeps itkeeps me like I don't know I guess itkeeps your both sides of the brainworking yeah yeah but for the most partI just break to like you know relievestress and it's like a meditation for meyou know cuz training yeah it make itmake it forces me to stretch my mycreative brain you know so like when Igo to a practice a lot of times I'm justI try to go into my own world and justmake up whatever I can and it's hardit's hard to think about all the likeyou know whatever stuff is going on inyour life when you're so focused on justyeah cuz you can't really dance well ifthere's something else on your mind youknow and a lot of times you feel like Idance better when there is somethingthat was on my mind because it's like itmay it makes me try harder to like focuson the music and everything you try toget that out of yeah excited you bygetting this out of you focus here yeahand then verse writer yeah well in a lotof times it's because you go like Igotta focus on this and if I don't I'mgonna think of something crappy oh Idon't wanna think about that let me justdo thisit's like kind of a nicely practice yesbefore I started talking to you and youalways practice for yourself and do yaknow yeah I think in I yeah and a lot oftimes I just focus on that and then youknow if someone wants to talk to me orwhatever I'll talk about like most ofthe time I don't really go too far outof my way to like talk to people I meancuz I used to just practice alone Iwasn't living in Sacramento and inOakland I would just go to the gym andpractice by myself like maybe once ortwice a week I'd go practice with someother people but most of the time I'djust be by myself where do you get themotivation from to practice by yourselfI think it's just I like creating stuffokay and so you can practice like hardstuff just to create I mean I'llpractice hard stuff sometimes but yeahit'll be it'll be a lot of timesit lets me I don't have any otherdistractions anymore so it's like I cango okay I really want to get this moveso I can practice you know what I needto do and then I can like adjust my handposition or whatever when I'm with abunch of people there's always like it'smore playful to me where there's like alittle bit of I need to perform I needto you know react to what they're doingtoo so it's it's always it's more of anexchange kind of environment going on bymyself it's just I'm only doing what I'mdoingyou focus on yourself yeah it's I have Ihave a lot of fun doing thatyeah it's probably my favorite part ofbreaking actually my favorite part ispracticing with my crewmen uh-huh yeahbecause like everybody like pushes eachother you know yeah and we don't have toworry about practicing anything soanybody else could practice that orthat's how it goes you know we push eachother you know oh um okay well dudewe've been going for like 56 minutes ohshoot probably wrap this show up there'sa lot I can still talk to youI don't want to go too long probablyyeah well is there anything else youwant to say before we close the showwhere can people find you here oh yeahit's the old one it works pretty wellthough and I got that tooOh yep go for a - it's not there yeah noI I bought this because I told myself Ineed to start filming myself breakingmore yeah because I seriously had likeno footage of myself because I neverreally filmed myself cuz ya know it'sjust I don't it's just not something Inormally do so I bought that to filmmyself in itmaybe you filmed for like a couple weeksand then I just got sick of it and so Idon't I don't really use it and thenwhen I started this show like oh I gotan extra camera now so I have the DJIpocket Pro no pocket and the small DJIfits with the camera and everything okayand I used it a couple times yeahokay it does also have white you andeverything okay but I know minutes Irecord with my phone most of the thingsmy phone doesn't have any space in itbecause I have a ton of music in thereso it's like but you can put an extra SDcard no I have extra I got I'm likereally into music oh you to beat I makeyeah I make music and then I just listento lots of music I guns I love you knowman I seriously can talk that's anotherman I mean for now yeah I like jasmineyou do yeah yeahsince everybody calls me ill jazz inAmerica I know but for me I don't knowman I think I like martial arts I alwaysliked like Jackie Chan Bruce Lee Johnyang and then music wise I always likedStevie Wonder Tupacoh yeah yeah that was like my LL Cool Jyeah you know and thenhe was dope sports-wise and human isMuhammad Ali's Muhammad Ali okay thoseare your influences this is mycombination of what I yeah and butbefore that GodI've always loved Jackie Chan cuz I gotjust mr. past he doesn't give off man Ithink he's gonna be appreciated morewhen he dies oh yeah dude he's alreadyappreciated yeah God that guy but manhis legacy I feel like man needs he samewith Bruce Lee yeah yeah you know uh youknow because Bruce Lee's kind of youknow I think we made mixed martial artsbecause the idea of it kind of it wasalready around but it wasn't mainstreamby any means but he just kind of that'sthat was what he was all about was thisis or the I guess it wasn't called mixedmartial arts at that time but it wasjust like the idea of pulling pieces ofevery martial art that makes you betterthat was he kind of brought it to themainstream yeah but I think Jean VanDamme is the best fine Johnson what'sthat freakin movie kickboxers was itbreaking oh yeah breaking he was likeeach he's like that's his first stepinto Hollywood it was like I mean thatmovie sucks but yeah I never owned it Ithere was a bunch of b-boys I knew backin the day that would say you'd ask himwhat their favorite movie was andthey're like breaking and I was likebreaking and beats me they would saybreak in do you like themlike it's like a parody of hip-hop likeit's so freakin goofy I mean I don'tknow I just wanted to make some moneyman I don't see some producers they sawsome kids seeing something where theycan make money okay throw some moneymoney back yeah it's it I mean all I cansee is I don't wanna hate on it but it'sso over-the-top goofy they're like Ican't get me how many movies are thereof this breaking one day there's onlytwo or to break into electric Boogaloo Ithink that's it there might be a thirdone I don't know I honestly watch themonce and I was like what am I doing withmy life I need I need to go practicewhat am i watching this crap and I grewup with Battle of teir VHS tapesyeah yeah right that that was the stuffI'd rather watch it's not all the year Iwatched one of the old freecell saysyeah yeah when you could only get theVHS tapes it wasn't any YouTube so therewas like a man fuck VHS man I still havea lot of VHS tapes yeah my god all rightso I switch on it okay I got I've got abunch here I think um yeah like Lords ofthe floor I have and they're the oldstyle elements video there used to belike absolutely made b-boys sessionGermany it was kind of like PC one manoh yeah yeah there was like b-boys allover the world one was swamp battlesyeah that was cool but battle of tier 96man it's my first yes yes it's very goodit's still good yeah yeah and I missquad versus Tyson effect I was a swisscrew it's the only time is Swiss crewone rest in peace - nice kid he wasright here yeah he did like that's I dosometimes the head spin with ball andpeace yeah yeah and me and my brothermet him and we were very youngyeah and his crew came to our city totrain with buzzcity attack and he wasthe only guy approachingus you know yeah and he was pushing usand yeah you know like teachers likedhow to do better head spin and you knowmoves just like the only guy talking tous even we were just kids you know yeahand then we from Tenali wow man you arethis guy and you talked to us and wasthere another seamless crew that wasreally popular back then that went tobattle of the year they didn't win but Ithink they got third place or somethingI don't remember yeah scrambling feetscrambling feet yeah yeah yeah that'shis crew yeah that's nice kid with toughkid he joined them too from badLafayette they bailed South Africa Ithink so I should actually go to thefinal and battle flying steps yeah thatwould have been a crazy battle and whenhe came to freestyle sessions Easterbreak yeah instant breaks man is nowhe's like pushing the community in Baselyou know in our city and they put usyoung kids and like a community centerwith dance you know can yeah it's it'sthere's good things you know okay wellyeah peace well before we do that isthere what's your like Instagram orwhere can people like talk my so Grammyselect my name yes I change a Instagramand anywhere else you want to give anyshoutouts shout-out to my crewRoughnecks and shout out all my friendsthat know me andall right thank you guys Robinson sorrythis show sucks and I don't know how topress the record but it's red it'srecording I know at least I got thatright the second timeall right let's everybody eight[Music][Music]you[Music] 

A Banker telling his Travel Life History - Final Episode

A Travel Life History by a Bank Employee - Part - 2

A Travel life History by a Bank Employee- 1st Part

Houston Alexander Is back on Pure EVIl IMMA to dIscuss the recent fIght wIth hIs teammate Anthony LION HEART SMITH, Quarantine, ActINg and IHIp Hop Now vs ThenI!

Houston Alexander Is back on Pure EVIl IMMA to dIscuss the recent fIght wIth hIs teammate Anthony LION HEART SMITH, Quarantine, ActINg and IHIp Hop Now vs ThenI!

TWITTER: @NightWorldPodEmail @: nightworldpod@hvbrecordings.com THE MUSIC FEATURED IN THIS BONUS CONTENT- REFLECTIONS IN A POOL IS FROM SFRBEATS.COM. bonus material featured this week:EXISTING BEYOND THE SMOKE: COPPED CAR [00:04-02:09], & FLUID THOUGHTS IN MOTION [02:22-03:20]COPPED CAR [00:04-02:09]Lemme tell you how my day goMy bro copped the romeoWe don't move for ladelsWe lay doughYou play thoughRacist ass bitchQuestion me on my shitAnd how we came to getRemind of incidentThat happened in 08Ain't the first time I lived hateAs I delivered packages I had to use the use the bathroomSitting in the StallI heard the callOwned by a voice above meHey buddy While washing my handsI was Approached by that manWho looked at me dirtyAnd began to escort meOut to the hallWhere I was greeted with aweSeen as a flawAll this for skinI should of never come inA cloud of blue eyes Ruled by despisePlayed victim-Unaware of the nightmare I was livinA pregnant woman clutching her bellyMy heart held the same fear that her movements were tellingI hoped they would listen I told them I asked permission They looked at me dismissiveThe extension of their courtesyWas to get a cop to escort meAnd drop me Off somewhere nearbyBlurry eyed I landed at the mallStanding in aweBy the footlockerRelieved that I wasn't locked upAin't the first time this happenedTap inA memory from '02 In my pay less shoesAcross the street from my apartment in k townOutta school fresh off the play groundIn my HAND A BAG of hot cheetosWith the hot cheese on TopApproached by two copsPops Drove taxiHe pulled up on timeAny later and I'd be in the back seatFirst time I realised my looks were a crime5 told pops A Suspect was on the looseWho knewA middle school boy could go get the bootUp To that point I didn't pay attention To skin or religionI was raised to fit in1990'sThe time weLived in south carolina The only Bengali Hispanic in the line upI started school at sister Clara muhammadsPlaying around the treesRunning around freeWatching power rangers And VR TroopersUn aware of how power arrange usAnd how zip codes keep us cooped upThe coup for Which we came to buyShouldn't have me questioning whyIts Curious how a material thingGot me questioning my material my being FLUID THOUGHTS IN MOTION [02:22-03:20]Sometimes the greatest luxury afforded Is returning home at the end of the dayFatigued TheseMuscles don't lieIAm head over heelsWith the chase to feelAliveThese eyesAin't use to lightNestled in the voices that seemed protective In the time of night that birth reflectionTrynna find the spot I left my head in 4 years old5 years oldTeensTwenties Dreams MoneyLet it all beDays I was letting of steam Only to shrivel when pressedI come from a long line of stressPollutionEasy solution That what it isMore power in tearsSlow release Garner stronger reliefBack and forths about my skinMy original sinCan't choose how we beginBut I got my thumb on an endAnd I'll bet you till thenI'll do what I can To put purpose to plan  This podcast will pivot between spokenword and rap.Each episode will vary in time ranging from 3-15 minutes.  THANK YOU  for listening. H V B R presents NIGHT WORLDA Podcast.Journey with us into BEING.We explore existence through the lens of family, the immediate family and the greater family that is the society and world we occupy and exist with. We are interested in how family influences us and how we inform it- and how this relationship impacts us and our world. These explorations come from our own lives. This is a weekly podcast coming to you every FRIDAY. Each week we will deliver a piece of sonic art that will vary in form and time. The backdrop, the music that is our canvas will also be different every week. We want to take you on a journey, for this journey to be as fulfilling as possible it is important to us that we provide you the listener varied settings and scenery. 

Quang Bang, a true Renaissance bboy, discusses his various interests, his infamous alias "the push Up Guy", and jokes around with a herb. Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by child support areyou a deadbeat parent that hates herchildren and would rather buy easy thanpay your child support or maybe youenjoy seeing your children grow up to bemutated monsters because you couldn'tafford a nutritious meal since you spenttheir child support on new rims for yourFord Focusor maybe you receive child support fromyour child's other responsible parentbut instead of buying your children warmclothes you decided to buy a grill wellI'm here to tell you you should open upfavorite Maps app on your new smartphonepurchase with your children's food moneyand locate the nearest sewer treatmentplant once located to get into your newBMW purchase with your children'sclothes money and navigate to thedestination once they are slip into yournew silk swim suit purchase with yourchildren's medicine money take a dip inthe fecal infested water and contract anincurable disease a responsibleseparated parents please remember to payyour child support in full and on timefor more information please contact yourlocal governing body and now on to theshow[Music]in today's episode I sit down with atrue renaissance man he is one of thesmartest most thought-provoking creativehardworking and hilarious individuals Iknow I met him in college as a b-boy andhave been good friends with them eversinceI can literally talk and joke with thisguy forever so please enjoy the episodewith the one and only queen bang helloeverybody welcome to the travelingtrashcan bonanza today we are meetingwith some interesting people and we'regonna try to get them to say racistthings in any evidence I see todayhandsome a gentleman a scholar a dancera breaker a published author an upperbody built a finger tug in e-commercetycoon and lastly a porn star I have thename for it he's playing bang mr. QuinnBing in the flesh so I just wanted toput this out there me and Kurt we'retalking for 45 minutes and said I forgotto press record we're doing this allover again so I hope it seems organicyeah I'm splicing terrible the terribleaudio quality if this shit sucks youknow actually when you were when youwere doing thatwhen you're when we're talking I waslike interesting that the record buttonis green and then I realize when youpressed it I was like oh I guess it'snot supposed to be green it's supposedto be red that's freaking terriblethat's a fail oh my god um anyway so Igot my friend Kwang Bing here who is avery multi-talented guy very creativeguy very motivated guy and I want to askhim a few questions but first did I missanything when I was introducing youbecause you do a lot of thingsoh yeah well day job I'm a sleazy salesperson so I swindle people out of theirmoney hmmyeah have you ever swindled me out ofhahaha the I have I well I can't thinkthat a specific example I can't I'm sureyou have um here's an interestingquestion yeah so we're both b-boys whatis your take on b-boying entering theOlympics I think it's really cool it'sis really validating because these wewere talking about this in the otherpodcast that wasn't recorded it takes alot of fucking work and then it amazesme that some people so many peopleinvest so much of their time doing thisbecause it's dangerous you don't getpaid very well and so it's like rewardthem give them something give them theOlympics but but what was your it wasyour opinion because I think youmentioned that you don't agree with youoh no no I I think okay cool I do thinkthat it well my biggest thing on it isthat for it to be in the Olympics youneed to have like a good way of judgingit right and I think right now there'snot really a good way of judging itother than I mean coz what we doessentially is line up a bunch of peoplethat have been breaking for a longperiod in their life and say these guysopinions matter point to who you thinkwon this battleyeah in the battle is like three roundsback and forth so two people doing theirmoves or whatever I I don't know thatjust to me doesn't pass the sniff testin terms ofhaving good criteria to judge on wordslike the Olympics you know or likereally anything any sport NBA combatsports there's always like some kind ofcriteria you can judge on mmm I feellike breaking there's not because saylike I'm battling you and we do we havecompletely different styles and say youkill it and I kill itneither of us flop both of us probablydo equally hard moves what happens whohow do you vote like you know reallywhat's gonna come down to this judgesays oh I like his style more so I'mgonna vote for QueenI like Curt style more I'm gonna votefor him and then you have this you knowdivided judging panel and then one of uswins and then you say well why did I winand he lose and they go I like yourstyleand that's really it and it's like Ithink when you have when the judgingsystem really breaks down when you getto that point yeah it works well on thelower tier where you got someone who'sgood and someone who's bad and the badperson is just crashing yeah it's likethat's the universal criterias if youcrash you lose right so it makes sensethere but when you get to this higherlevel it just doesn't make any senseanymore yeah it is really hard becauselike gymnasts they're like they have aroutine already so you can tell ifthey're messing up any other likeOlympic sport it's very very clear-cutbut when you're talking about dancingit's like well I don't know it's kind oflike well I like this move better well Ilike this move better and so you can'treally and whatever they're dredging islike can you really fault them forwhatever their opinion is yeah I meanyou get that all the time where you havea battle and then Rob this guy was Robthis guy was robbed and your reason wasoh well I just like the other guy yeahyeah well can you really grab yeshow do you really define it ya know Imean cuz ultimately breaking is an artform right yeah and so I guess if youlook at it if you compare it to anotherart form like painting yeah you make apainting I make a painting we're bothequally skilled artists right somejudges are coming and looking at it theymight go oh I like the wake wing usedbrushstrokes on this in on this paintingyeah and then another guy goes oh but Ilike the way Curt use color on this yeahboth of those opinions are valid Yeahrightand they might they might you know theguy that liked my color use looks maybelooks at yours and goes oh yeah hedidn't quite hit the mark for me fromcolor use and maybe the guy that'sjudging you that likes your brushstrokeslooks at me and goes oh yeah Curt didn'treally do brush strokes on them hedidn't use those to his advantage yeahthat's also a valid point so now youjust got this criteria that doesn'treally make any sense I think yeah so Ithink that's where I'm at with Olympicsis you're trying to turn it into a sportyeah when it's really an art form so andI don't think that you that it's a badthing that you're they're trying to dothat and I think it's just a difficulttask to do because you're you knowyou're gonna what you what you have todo is essentially turn breaking intosome kind of gymnastics like thing mhmso what the what gymnasts have done islike for the for the floor routinethey'll go okay this is the moves thatwe're gonna do on the floor routine andyou're gonna judge us on that yeah andyou know each move gets a certain amountof points and you know then they gotthis clear score in the end you know andthen if they flop or anything they getdeductions for that so there's a clearscore at the end of the routine thatthey can get and then the next personcomes in they'll have a completelyunique routine too but then they alsogive the routine to the judges they gookaywe reviewed the moves you're gonna dothis is your possible score and you knowthen they're just judging on deductionsand stuff after that Sam goddamn howcould you do that would be that's my metsweaty right yeah um so I was likejudging it in the way of gymnastics Ithink is out the door so now what aboutjudging it in terms of like combatsports because in a way breaking issimilar to combat sports - becauseyou're going against an opponent you'rereacting to them you're also reacting tothe environment how do you do that Imean in combat sports a lot of it is youknow they'll judge on like the aggressorthey'll judge on how many like strikeshit or like a takedown or like someonegets knocked down each of those thingsis worth like some kind of point systemI don't know how you do that in breakingthough right like maybe maybe somewherein between the gym gymnastics and combatsports is where you do it but I reallydon't know how to mix that and so Ithink a lot of people have tried to mixit yeah and haven't got anywhere with itso yeah because even the point systemsin like all right it's like there's anunderlying bias on all of them rightit's like what do you think of the r16scoring yeah so that's Dizzy's yesscoring system shout-out to dizzy cuz Ithink he's doing a lot for this scene Ithink he's he's making his way towardsthe system because he's saying here'sthe criteria it's yeah I think he saysfoundation battle dynamics creativitymusicality creativity and musicalityyeah so each of those sound like goodcriteria for judging but the underlyingbias is that every b-boy to be a beatgood b-boy you have to have all that butmaybe not yeah see that's my that'swhere I differ because I think to myselflike do you sometimes I think you canhave an amazing round and do nofoundation I don't necessarily think youhave to do foot worker in yeah yeah yeahright well yeah so like how do youdefine each of those categories likehere's a good example um Susie Rock mhmI love this dude style I would say I'veseen some rounds from him where they'renot particularly dynamic but they'rejust like amazing they're just amazingrounds he's just like such a good dancerhe's just he knows how to work the crowdso based on that r16 judging system hisdynamics wouldprobably be low mm-hmm his musicalitywould be high and you know againstsomebody else maybe they don't score aswell you know I would think he's theclear winner but I think the system kindof breaks down when it's you know yougot a guy who's who's like that and thena guy who's completely different andthey're scoring like really high onthese thingsit's like how are you determining who'sbetter I mean in a way he uz rock isdoing some kind of dynamic stuff withhis musicality man right so does thatbleep you know how does that bleed intoeach other those two criteria I don'tknow yeah and then also what is goodwhat is good dynamics and what is baddynamics I think that's that comes downto a subjective opinion on it and samething with all the other categorieswhat's good foundation with badfoundation yeah right because itinherently uses bias the way you thinkbecause like you may come up with acertain series of moves combos and I youmight think it's cool by things like Iwell I could have thought of that yeah Idon't want to name any names here butpeople were like it's like I don't getwhy this guy's so popular like yes Idon't think it's that creative like Idon't think yes my mind blowing and it'sman like what so it's like at that pointsystem I mean I just inherently it'sjust difficult to do well you know theother thing is like the the the categoryof creativity I I mean I can I can thinkof a situation where someone would scorehigh in creativity but don't deserve itso think of somebody who bit Oh moveright from some unknown guy but nowthey're doing it on this huge stage soyeah in a way this is the first time theworld has ever seen this move but thisguy bid heats he took the move fromsomeone else he stole it he didn'tcreate the move at all now he's scoringhigh in creativity mm-hmm but he's notcreative he stole the movie bit so hewas rewarded for biting right uh youknow I I personally have a problem withthat name some names Kurtwing ding oh no it was me all along J sothis is really sanity his own brother sothis is an intervention you just wantedto bring me on to the showstop call me buddybit your name I don't utter okay thiswas in the other podcast so my fingertutting name is Quang bang and thenthere's actually a Glover name Quangbang and then I posted in this groupleveling Glover's lounge and I was likeoh cool I'm posting my my video and thenone of the comments was like hey there'salready a quayne bang how's it all surehe's like a billion times better than metoo yeah but you can do push it so ohyeah the push-up guy he's the push umOh was I saying about the Olympics umyeah so like the the criteria forcreativity kind of breaks down when itwell I guess a good judge on creativitywould have to have seen everybody andwhat they're capable of and know exactlywho's biting and who's not so which isnot a reasonable thing to ask of a judgecuz they're obviously not going to do beable to do that so but I do thinkcreativity is a big important thing tobe judging on in breaking something it'sjust I'm not against the r16 judgingsystem I just think that there's a lotof ways that it breaks down and doesn'tquite work for what we want breaking tobe but I guess in the Olympics though ifit like imagine it became its own thinglike hypothetically if maybe you saidbiting is okay yeah and then they wentinto this realm and then you're judgingon that andnow you're you're kind of like you'returning this artform into a sport whereyou're saying okay now you have toadhere to these specific rules and thatand that lets you compete in here so Imean the thing I can think of is maybelike skating how skating used to bewhere it's just like the Wild West backin like the 80s yeah and when it startedbecoming like a actual sport theystarted really defining what you do youknow and then it kind of branched outfrom Street skating and vert skating andso I mean I guess both of those are havetheir own competitive worlds but um in away I think breaking will do that whereyou it'll somehow turn into streetbreaking and competitive breaking maybemm-hmm where the street breaking is justkind of more of like what we do nowwhere it is maybe the wild west and yeahand you're you're presenting it's Iguess this it's more of the art form ofit and in the competitive world is moreof the sport world of it man I think PBSwould hate that I think you always willhate yeah but again I'm I don't thinkI'm necessarily against it right I justthink that as it stands breaking doesn'twork as a sport and so putting it in theOlympics I think there's a lot of workahead of everybody to get it to thatlevel or to get it to a point where itcan be easily judged and people and alsopeople watching would be able tounderstand what's going on because Imean imagine you don't know anythingabout breaking and then I have a judgingpanel of 10 people and then I go thatguy wins mm-hmm and you'd be like whyand then they go because I say sowhich is essentially essentially whatjudges that do now wait I don't thinkthat would go very well I mean yeah dudeso it's in what 2024 is in 2024 I thinkyou're gonna try it out look it I waslike I was like I'll be fucking cold bythem I fucking go for it fuck dude yeahhow's the oldI'll get smoked by about your kids likeI tried out for the Olympics I didn'tget very far though yeah theten-year-olds they'll be in the JuniorOlympics like oh ha hafuckers see their kids Steve I hope theOlympics is threes enough there's somegood 30 year old I know actually yeahactually Red Bull is it most I have noidea how old they wereoh I mean aren't you the older guysthere yeah a lot of them are over 30 Imean I would say half of them areprobably over 30 yeah which is so weirdbecause when I was when I first startedbreaking hmm you know but not I was like14 or something hmm everybody was intheir 20s and I was like these oldmotherha ha ha ha yeah and then I see one 30year old which I think he just turned 30when I was starting to break which isProvo and Rob nasty oh yeah you oldmother fuckers shout out to you guys butno there was a couple other guys fromback then I think like iron monkey and acouple others over like that age yeahyou know I was like it it blew my mind Iwas like oh you could still break atthat age that's crazythank you now I'm that agent like Oheverybody's this age and then I'mlooking at these like kids that were myage back then yeah 14 or whatever andI'm like these young little shits littlewhat is that the floss dance and so yeahoh my god I'd learn a real dance youguys play kickball guys play kickballand then you do 15 air flares against mein a battle you oh wait there's a guythat taught you right Tedlike when he's hit what did you go aheadoh yeah I was just gonna say Ted um hewas from my old crew flex Flav yeah andhe used to come to our high school andhe would just practice um just becauseit was a spot there and he would justteach us he was likedude how old is he I think he was in hislike early 20s but he just he knew likea couple of us so he would just come inhere like teach us and stuff and thenonce I graduated he I would go to hishouse and stuff and we just train inwhatever Oh what're they did you startbreaking um the girls women well okaythe first time I saw breaking with in umpro wrestling was really called the WWFback then and it was um was it thespinaroonie - no no okay Booker T yesbefore that guy oh it was um these twoguys named - cool and I can't remembertheir names but wait was it Scotty 2hotty Scotty 2 hotty oh yeah yeah theword ridiculous yeah Scotty 2 hotty andyeah bye anyway so like their specialmove was the one they like set the guyup yeah and then he would like do thestupid-ass dance around the ring andthen do this big like his mom was reallytight but yeah the warm across the wholethe whole floor and then just you Iloved about WWE or WF it was just sofreakin ridiculous yeah like the biggestfan of the rock he dude the moreridiculous he was uh-huhit's like the more I loved him like thelike the people's elbow when he when Iwas watching was get off and throw outthe audience I would be screaming oh mygod the people's elbow yeah yeah anywayrun from one side of the Ring to theother and just do a normal elbow drop Iwas like how did running from one sideto the other help with the elbow droplike how does that help with themomentum yeah I don't I don't think itdoesit was just absurd and then you justmake fun of people and his shit-talkingwas amazing is on pointprobably the greatest shit talker of alltime I don't know of anybody betterright I mean I think in a way like cuz II guess in the UFC there's a lot ofpeople that are starting to do that nowI think they take a lot of cues from therock from the way he used because he washe would shit talk so hard right and thecrowd would just get get in eat it up soridiculous and what they do and like andthe thing is like the more ridiculousthe rock cot with what he did thatpeople's eyebrows like but people justfucking ate it upso well the EOC I think like ConorMcGregor's yeah right he's that he'slike the number one yeahand then people mimic but think it'sthere was a guy before him Chael Sonnenhe was but he was he was very WWWE esquehe was very like though it was verycorny I loved it like I was a huge fanbut I think at the time he was like thenumber one selling fighter even thoughhe was never a champion but he was sucha good shit talker good talk and thenbut then you have Conor McGregor come inand then they're like it's a kick fromdude and then people were at first weresaying oh Conor McGregor is just tryingto be like Chael Sonnen they used to saythat but now everyone's saying everytime a new fighter comes up and startsto chuckling people just say oh he'sjust trying to be like Conor McGregorwas like Bru shit-talking has beenaround for a long time talking was withConor McGregor know it's been around formen were out there talking shit duderemember so we used to dance with thisperson Oh Candice Candice Candicebrother her brother yeah yes oh yeahyeah that guy is amazing shit talk dudehe's an amazing fighter yeah he was hewas like the thing is like people werelike um thing is people were like wouldhate on him cuz it's like oh he's justtrying to be like Conor McGregor butdude it works they keep us he talkedhimself well I mean he's he's stillreally he's a mate he's really a goodfighter and now he he's just being likehe's like the rock yes I was like dudenobody fucking worked because you knowin an interview right well I don't knowif this is sure and I assume it is butin an interview he was talking about howthe UFC was about to cut him right andthen like he got on the mic and he waslike talking shit to BruceBrazilians like this place is a dump youguys are animals world war and sin themoment and that became like a cut in hispromo and then that men they resignedhim i think i think is what happenedthat is hell yeah it was like you gottafucking do itcuz yeah i didn't watch it much of hisfight but I mean did you watch this manfight I didn't watch dude well I knewthe results I was I was rooting forcoming tonight because well we kind ofknow where I met it we used to work withthe Sooners his sister so I was rootingfor him but then my god dude they'reboth really high level wrestlersso who's mins uh was Division twochampion and then covington was he wasin the division one but he was rankedfive at the time so he was like reallyhigh up so it's like but when theyfought they were just fuckin swingingyes yeah like people were saying likefor how good the fight was yeah itwasn't very it wasn't very excited likepeople weren't cheering as muchinitiative but dude I don't know if youknow this but like he he like Guzmanbroke his jaw dude so he broke his jawin the third round and Covington stillkept fighting oh I was like what afuckin badass even even if you hate himright but he's doing it he's moving theneedle he's doing it he's keeping hiscareer he's getting paid so he's doinghis thingbut even if you even for the people whowere hating on him people were happythat he had brought his jaw broken butthe fact that he kept going till roundfive dude that was like if someone slapseemed like a stop you win like the guykept fucking fighting that's brutalhave you ever oh a key you used to domartial arts yeah yeah dudethe thing is I would I I was a I was ayellow belt that's as far as I got inkarate I was like I always lovedwatching fighting I was like I wouldnever fucking do it dude it's dangerousI did Taekwondo was like I feel I feellike I mean I feel like every match wewould do I'd see someone get knocked outdude I was like so fucking brain-deadactually even for breaking I'm like dudesome of these moves like the guys aredoing what the fuck are you doing that'sbrain damage like dude you probably haveacushion right now you probably know likeit's a cool some of the moves they doplus I do that's really so I'm like Ilove watching it I mean that's wipe theallure of double usually really excitingI'm like yeah kidding I would I loved Ilove the storylines I mean yeah fuck himup rock given the people's elbow give megive me the eyebrow yeah fuck abovewhich is basically just a hug in all itis it's it's kinda like a a chokeslamexcept you're hugging him instead yeahit's a hug dude the what what I loved uhwas it he was that famous the famous sirthe famous I was like dude my um bad assBilly good my brother my brother andsome of my friends were used towrestling moves on each otheryeah my brother did the pedigree on meonce my nose is bleeding is like goddammityeah oh but me my friend I had a friendand um growing up where we do the StoneCold Stunner on each other we're justlike randomly like like oh actuallythat's a perfect move of like dude whatdoes that move even do like like at thetime I was a kid I was like puzzles likewell how does that hurt someone knoweginning grip are they getting whiplashis that what it is is that what it iswas like itse trying to break cuz Idon't think that's a good way to know Iwas like I was really possible as likewait or is it because like they'rehugging they hit the shoulder hits thechin is that why I was like I don't butit's hyper shit oh okay you're the movieI love when the rock like when he'sslapping you and then he spits on hishead and they slap so fucking ridiculousyou know what the most ridiculous oh itwas well there's two of them then I canyeah is mankind's mr. Socko dicks itdown your throat yeah never made senseto me cuz I was like yeah it's a dirtyass sock so yeah you're probably gonnaget some diseases yeah yeah why don'tyou just bite his hand I know like itjust didn't makes it like he's trying tolike yeah I guess strangle you in a veryterrible way I guess he's opening upyour jawreally I don't know but like is it gonnabreak your jaw or something yes likeyour jaw is probably way stronger thanhis fingers so just bite him anybody dothat next like why is this my special sothere's that move that never made senseand then do you remember Rikishi oh mygod I was that's exactly what I'llfucking stinkface you just he justthrows you to the corner yeah he just healways worked he's like this big dude Idon't know how much you weigh he'sprobably like 400 pounds yeahbut he like he wears this like songthing and like well I know and he hasthis curtain over his ass and he and hejust shows his song ass and he juststicks it in their face and then justlike rut he like he like torque so fastcheeks and their disaster like biggerthan that body yeah and it's like on thedude just like dude I hope these guysgot paid like I'm just imagine if I waslike a wrestler yeah they're like yougot a fight Rikishi and I'm like dudehis ass is going on my face ass is onthe menu tonighthave you ever so there was one that wasviral but like he wasn't this guy wasn'tfamous the dude dressed up like MichaelJackson he got into it he so he dressedup as Michael Jackson he got the guy ina DDT like when you're having a headlockand then he does the moonwalk backwardsand they do like how ridiculous is itand then I saw another one dude it's sostupid but I was like but like I lovedit it was like so fucking funny and thenthere's another guy where I think Icould get this wrong but he does thisthing with his hands so he makes it looklike oh no Mortal Kombat when their dayslike I love it yeah that's one of theold school ones I think oh oh actuallywas he famous it was I don't rememberokay it was like it was on one of thosesmaller it wasn't on WWE yeah but butyeah dude oh yeah I know that was likeso okay the walls of Jerichoright that one yeah yeah oh when we werewrestling growing up I fuckin love doingthe walls of Jericho did you ever see avideo there's a guy that actually did itin an MMA fight and the guy tapped outOh for real he's like oh my god thatmove actually works yeah no frills youcan look it up like the walls like whatthe fuck I used to do it I did it to mycousin once yeah cuz we used to just trywrestling moves and I did it to him andhe was like look like it hurt yeah yeahI don't know I mean I can imagine you gofar enough it hurts well you ain't gonnawork on some people yeah cuz they justflexible as shit but dude what whenwe're on the Kings and the words we usedto do this powerbomb move all the timethis is the powerbomb so one time Kurtand I were in a competition and so whathappened so it was so we were businesstime crew they're all in suits and wewere in Seattle yeah massive monkeysmassive yeah so so Kurt we're allwearing suit and ties so Kurt was doinghis round and so the routine was nightbefore they thought you were likeplanted on the other side you're wearinglike a burglar I was I was wearing I waswearing a ski mask yeah I had a blackjacket on and so when Kurt went out andthey were like it looked like they're inthe middle of a routine and I pretendedto be on the other team so I run out Oha routine I run out and I push you andthen so you yeah it was a narrow andCarlos we're doing a routine yeah yeahand you run out and you're like noroutine and then and then I like I jumpout on bullying what the hell man I pushyou away and I start breaking like ohyeah we're gonna lose this you're likelet's just go and then and then you comeup and kick me in the stomach but butthen you punch me in the face and then Iland and I complete like a flatline likeI said yeah yeah but at first the funnypart was like the emcee was like chillchill shot yeah yeah they thought it wasreally shitreal and then the public and then youpush me to fit in there it landed likecompletely dead and it was like oh andthen they and I know the rest of thecrew pulled me off em seems like you gotsmoked and they just know it was sofunny because what right when we startedit people thought it was real oh there'sa fight about to happen yeahlike losers with these ties and the crewthat you were hiding that the guys wewere going against they just didn't knowwhat the hell is in the yeah thereaction from the MC was socialism itwas Joe from NASA monkeys he's he's areal dope host you know dope b-boy hewas he was there and he's like oh no Joeyeah and then like as soon as that hesees me punch you and you just drop onyour back yeah yeah it's just like wegot the judges to laugh we still lostthough we know we won that but we allnevermind we lost the next battle againOhNow or Never right okay okay yeah theyseem to be doing pretty well right nowall rightI think how do you kind of yeah I meanthey're they're good they're one of thebetter crews in Canada Vancouver I thinkis in Canada right yeah they're dope Ithink they're really good yeah um yeahthey're making noise I don't I haven't Imean I haven't really kept up with thebreaking scene too much in terms of likewho's winning the local right yeah butI'm sure there's they're still doingtheir thing dude I most of my breakingthat I see is just fucking on InstagramI just scrolling I'm like dudeeveryone's like a billion times betterthan me yeah I think what am i doingwith myself I should just quit getsmoked by every single person on thefucking little kids doing fucking helloto thousands and stuff or air flares onehanders as a Jesus Christ yeah dude I'mlucky if I get to air fleurs under goodyou used to have three I remember aboutI'm the day yeah and thenI've hurt this my right now older and Ilost them all yeah started getting himback I got like that was up to like tomaybe know what you didn't do beforeI've seen it ya know yeah I've done Ithink I did four oh shit point yeah butI so but I mean throughout my life I'vehad between zero and four yeah and it'sbeen like continuous just like losingthem yeah getting him back yeah so but Ithink when the most I had was like fourand then I busted his shoulder and lostall of it yeah had to had to train againto get I was probably about two and thenI hurt my left shoulder Oh Dannyopposite shoulder and so then I lostthat and then this this injury is likekind of bad yeah it's I don't know Idon't know if it'll ever be good againbut I kind of do maybe like two youprobably can yeah yeah I'm real controlman I do for Barry back in Davis I usedto like in-between classes I was likeI'm gonna get airflows I'm gonna get himdo I practice most of my time trying toget ear flares and I was just stuck onto the whole time like fuck fuck it waslike I actually gave up I was like dudeI couldn't I couldn't getting better atall these other things and I chose tostick with Air Force I God why did I dothis I really wanted them though but andthen I'm never getting like more onetime I think was like senior year andthen and then there was a bunch of newpeople I was like I'm a fucking dude infront of everybody and that helladrenaline and then I was like oh my godI feel I was I did the second one andthen I went through there was like oh mygod oh yeah that was like two and a halfand I was like oh my god I figured itout but then I never did yeah we weresaying that so I like started settleslike I don't think I'm gonna docontinuous air flows let me just try toget continuous would military flares thething is like we were talking about thiswe're in breaking to be like it's justpeople perceive you as power you have tohave air flow like an air flow or alignit if you don't do an air flare they'relikehe's he's got good ground no you'llnever be good at policy that's why I waslike I want to do windmills to airflares and get those consistently orflare to air flare consistently becauseif you combo was like oh he's he's nolonger the push-up guy he has more tooffer to me oh well you didn't hear inthe other podcast but today did hemention me already this one in thepush-up guy the push-up guy thing yesyeah wing there's a lot of push-ups inso he's a push-up guy yeah so I do thislegless push-up thing and I was sayingin the other podcast that wasn'trecorded so we're we doing thisso what happened was I I was dancing forthe Kings and then okay I was dancingfor the Kings and I people just lovedwhen I did the pushing move where mylegs were off the floor and then I waslike as a dancer like I spent all thistime I have all these moves but alleveryone wants from me is the fuckingpush-up move do that push it move yeahand then my friends would introduce meacquaintances would introduce me andthen actually not only would they tellthem they'll be like quake do it rightnow do the push it was like okay overI'll do the quick Oh dance mummy monkeydancepeople would people would randomly stopme in the street like hey aren't youthat push-up guy like fuck mandon't you have I have all these othermoves but don't you want to see thatmoves like no do the push-up movie upguys you have a lot more just do thepush-up actually so I recently um wasbreakdancing for like my company askedme was like so they they highlight um aemployee each each week and so one ofthe girls was like hey Quang can you forthe you know the All Hands meeting couldyou break dance I was like yeah sureI'll practice in small actually practicein this room I was a yeah practice insmall spacescuz it wasn't very a lot so I was likeyou know what maybe I'll just somethingthat bothers me I don't know why botherfeel like sometimes when people ask meto break I just do the push-up move andthat's itand I'm like no wonder they keep willcall me the post ship guys that's all Ifucking do and you ask me to break I waslike the go-to move the go-to moveso I was like packing and then when theyasked me I was like I thought to myselfso I'll just do the push-up andwindmills and make it easy and thenthought to myself like no quaynepreparing this stay no clang this is allyour fault this is why they call you thepushy guy this is all you fucking do soI was like I'm gonna fucking blow it upand then so I was like I was likepracticing like dude I was like runningmoves over and over it was like it waslike we were back at the words whereas arehearsal team I kept practicing themoves over and over as like I'm notgonna be called the push-up guy I'mgonna do fucking everything and so whenit when I actually did itwhen I say dude I was hella nervous likebecause that's like I was putting a lotof pressure myself I'm like no dude I'mnot the push-up guy I'm a brick morethan just that one move dude my I wasactually you happen I knew it was comingand he was comingten minutes before our meeting I waspracticing in the hallway I'll be likelooking around like it's like new movesin the hallways like I'm not gonna fuckthis up they're not gonna tell a nervouscause like the whole company's lookinglike like our office the CEO thehigher-ups the people in the Denveroffice and then some remote peopleeveryone's good they're all thereeveryone was looking or there was likebecause the thing is like everyone whenI got hired everyone's like oh quaintdances for the Warriors yes but theynever saw me break in person I was likedude the expectation is so fucking highif I come out and I'm a mediocre they'regonna think I suck oh he's he's awhere's dancer Oh and so when they whenthey introduced me like Wayne's beendancing since he was 13 he tends tothree seasons for the Kings threeseasons for the worst I was like sayingthe back there I was like my heart wasracing like oh my god clink don't fuckthis up that's like the whole day don'tfuck this up don't fuck this up don'tfuck this upyou'll never be anything more than apush-up guy Oh like you know you know ifsomeone if you do something and you suckpeople will tell you oh good job niceright but luckily that didn't happenthis time so what like they're like okayso we have a special performance andthen Gladys like my coworker Mike movedthe table I was like what's happeningand this is like she's like let me giveyou a clue so when I asked this personto perform he said sure I'll do it I'llpractice in small spaces and then she'slike could you guess who it isand then like Kwangand it's like oh my god it's happening Iwas like it's like you know like whenyou professor oh my god fuck fuck it'sactually it's actually morenerve-wracking than some of the Warriorsperformances on I was like oh my god allthis pressure like oh the Warriors breakdancers oh goodand so when I got up like I was it'slike I was like walking up I was likeyou guys are making me nervous oh my godand then like I was just like you know Ihad I had an idea before just to get areaction by doing nothing you know I didso I just got to the middle I just Ijust walked in the middle I kneeled downlike this like all dramatic i unzippedmy jacket this exact jacket and thenthrew it so the jacket like that itselfgot hello how's your boss in my face mybossoh you haven't liked when I tossed it Iwasn't even looking it went over like alike one of the founding members it wentover his head like this nearly likenearly missed his Havok Shh and then inthe end like my boss said that was likethe best part like it was like oh andthen and then I did my routine and thatis it's like dude I fucking threweverything I feel like a billion I feellike I want to say like I think sevenish moves yeah and then like and then Ibought like the CEO like her face wasred like she was like cheering so muchshe's like I was like in my bag is likeyes it's like yes no longer hey end updoing the push-up move however howeverthe good part about this story is theyjust said like oh great job blah blahblah they loved it but they didn't sayand I like that push-up move no one saidthatback at the Kings they would all war isoh just you gotta do that push-up movebut this time it was kind of redeemingelse it's like oh my god I've made itI'm more than just a push-up guy now I'mmore than just him it was my fault thisentire phoenix rising from the ashes I'mamazing so this is an example I broughtup earlier where imagine if you're anactor right and you're famous and youcare about your craft you're you'repracticing your crap you really careyou're trying really hard but you'reknown for one line like what you talkingabout Willisokay think about that's exactly whatyou're talking about that that's mecould you imagine everyone on thestreets or Oh a gate Oh imagine beingthe rock do that eyebrow thing do thateyebrowoh you're the eyebrow guy he probablyfucking hates it actually I love yourstory earlier that wasn't recording withthe Montell Jordan one there'd be a lotof celebrities that would come in and doyou know like music performances orwhatever and so one time Montell Jordancame to perform for halftime show and umwe were watching him rehearse and he wassinging the this is how we do and likeyou know he's kind of dancing but he hadsunglasses on he kind of took him offfor a second and I could see in his eyeslike that he was just deeply saddened[Laughter]basically performing this song everyperformance for his entire career whichis like he made a song in like early 90sor whatever yeah it's like 5020 likethis is crazy just collecting a paycheckI mean it's a tight song then org I knowthat see that would attract me Creekactually so that's why also he's thepush okay another story that we told onthe other one so when I was at the Kingsthere was this guy he was the emcee atthe Kings and what happened was everytime I went out he would introduce me hewould say this the strongest arms inSacramento he's like well I don't evenlive here but okay so one time he did itthe strongest arms of Sacramento and Ithought to myself like no I'm not gonnado the move I'm gonna do this spinningmove instead I have more than just amotion and so what happens is like afterour performance is done we walk into thetunnel it's like hey Quinn can I talk toyou he pulls me asidehe's like quang when I say the strongestarms in Sacramentoyou have to do the pushup move in a niceway you have to do I was like I was likehe's like yeah man when when you starteddoing spins like what is this guy doingdo the push like fuck and that you'renot the spin guy what are you doing stoptrying to break character character whodo you think you arewhy are you trying to show off thatyou're more versatile than you are youknow stop it quit it up oh oh yeah thisis like a totally random story so onetime I was at Burning Man right yeah andthis band was playing and like this guywas so bad was a band was playing in thein the playa the dust and then this guywalks up and like he's wearing like justunderwear that has like holes in itthey're like mesh underwear so he he'slike what you could see is dude I'mpretty sure I saw his dude I saw a lotof doodles at Burning Man a lot ofdoodles it's doodle town doodle man yeahso what happens like dude I wish I couldshow have this on camera but for thoseof us that are just listening he wasdoing this weird dancing he's likemoving around like like no the trunkwhite guy as freaky barbecue he's likewaving around I pretty sure like at onepoint he was like rolling on the floorhe's doing random motions like oh yeahokay think about in like a dramatic tointerpretive dance with modern andmodern dance it was like there's justbut you do random yeah she's right it'slike and then someone was like I heardsomeone behind missing oh my godit's so emotional you know they'reYellin right I mean so Lynn Lynn turnsto me and she says plain what kind ofdance is he doing I was like Lynn he'snot doing anythingdude he looks like he was on acid he'sdoing random oceans and I was like I waslike I was like Lynn and then Lynn'slike well how do you know I was likedude Alayna he was Lynn um I've beendancing for over half my life I think Iknowknow when someone's not doing anythinglike what the fuck he's not doing shitoh my god it's so emotional so I knowever the line that line it was like whatthe hell oh my god yesemotional oh my god viewing oh my god isso - it touches my soul he's literallydoing nothing oh my oh shut the fuck upso oh my god next time I MC a jam I'mabout to do that what do you do my godit's so emotional oh my god the emotionsthe emotions I mean III guess he's notwrong there's probably some emotion Iknow I used high on drugs that's what hewas he's feeling the high from the drugsthat was the emotion here this guy'sliterally doing nothing yeah actually Itold Kevin this story a long time agolike Beck and Davis right yeah isn'tcalled modern dancing where they're justdoing random stuffwhat is it cool I mean I guess that'scontradict interpretive interpretiveokay something like yeah I don't know Imean yeah see modern dance thephilosophy of it is that you're makinglike shapes with your body and there'snot necessarily like a certain formyou're supposed to do right so okay soit probably fits into there okay so whathappened was I did one of those I was Ican let's see how it is yeah just justto see how it is and so the danceinstructor right she gave the hero herinstructions okay you three start movingokay and then you other three whatyou're gonna do is you're gonna followthem but don't do their movements soyou're gonna sounds like wait so youwant them to follow them but also notfollow themoh I don't see oh and so they were justdoing random shit right just like likethe same thing like asking a guy justrolling around the floor us it's likewhat the hell is this and then and thenand then you know she says oh my godit's brilliantokay the next group 3 and 3 right thenext crew comes in J'son gives them thesame instructions okay you threetwo movements you other three followthem but don't follow them okay in thesame shit just a bunch of random andthen you have there doing it right justlike I don't get it like they're bothdoing nothing I don't fucking nothing Iwas like oh my god I was like my mindwas blown dude there dude what if shejust said that to fuck with oh I knowshe's like a troll yes yeah like it'sfucking brilliantbut you cling I don't that's that's whatthey pay me for I don't it was terribleWow awful what are you doing oh my godcalling them oh my god you know it'd befunny if there was a TV show like thatlike just like completely aware you hadlike a Simon Cowell type of person who'sjust like but he's like trollingeverybody I just I didn't feel theessence of your performance blah blahblah good really funny showespecially if yeah if if it's likesomeone who's killing it in theirperformance than the last guy just likeyeah I don't get itthere aren't there is actually a singingshow I didn't if you heard of it I thinkwas on The WB or something where likepeople like they were finding the worstsinger America so they they lie to thepeople saying like you're good have youheard that show no okay dirty as fuckbut that's hilarious dude yeah so theywere just like all these bad people thatwere horrible and then they would theywould just keep you know same thing asAmerican Idol except they'd pick andthey were just feeding these lies thesejudges but for the like for some peoplethat auditioned that we're actuallyreally good I remember one of thecomments was like yeah it sounded likeyou had like diarrhea or something buthe was actually amazing so it is likeKylie aligned with youoh my god oh man this is like yourstringer boy oh my god seems like youwere likeI ate it or something oh damn yeah I waslike oh my god it was so sad and oh myand then the reveal happens like Ohactually you know it's um it's not wedidn't find the best singer in Americawe actually found the worst singer inAmerica I think I was like but to cometo counter that the singing was like butthe you know it's not fake the the lovethis audience has for you and then theystarted cheering for him I was like I'mso sure he feels like shit yeah I waslike cut the next day he like killshimself I know dude that's like soembarrassed oh my god oh my god okaytalking about Edition actually I know afisherman in this story anyways someonethat we owe actually notice would giveit away okay no but like okay changeokay but you know like um so you'rethinking it dance right we've had somefriends I have auditioned but this onefriend in particular like he's actuallya really good dancer and should he justname namesokay who's not change their name okayokay so John was dancing but one of ourother friends Jimmy was watching him andlike so the way they cut it like soJimmy said like John was actually doingwell and and the judges gave him goodfeedback it's just he they just feltlike he didn't mix well together yeahbut during the actual like when they cutthe tapes and they were showingcommercials and then they made him looklike he was really bad without reallyshowing much of what he was doing andfelt like and and then the I thinksomething long was like and then somepeople just couldn't cut it like hoppingon his ass but like apparently he didreally well but the way they cut it theymade him look like he was really badlike and then some people just couldn'tcut it I saw our friend I was like oh noand then like later on as he few clipslater and then like in a few clips laterthey show they have a microphone to hisface and he was like it wasn't notalking aboutI feel so bad from because dude he'sactually a really good deal really goodoh dude I was like dude this is why Imean we've um we've auditioned for somethings before yes like dude I hope wedon't fake in me I fucking swear to godI hope we don't make the blooper reelblah blah blah hey remember this um thisone I wish get on camera but for thosepeople can't listen you can't really seethis dance move but you know that movewhere you like do this you push yourhead back yeah it's like you're pushingit's like you're looking like a robotyeah and then I do this and then like Ihold like this in front of me and youknow when we're auditioning for a BDCyeah I'm fucking you cuz I did that Idid it I did a competition you fuckingblew up people fucking loved it but whenwhen I did it on camera it was like ohmy god oh my god I fucking embarrassmyself I hope this is finished everyservices I thought that was so funnythough I love that movie I actuallybring it back so the Kings a snack and Ifucking I went against I think Sycharside shot I thinks I was a gay he dancesfor that job yeah so either he's reallya dancer but he's like he was doing morelike popping and krumping kind of stuffand so I was a b-boy so it was an allstyles competition so when I you didthat yeah and then and then like so Ipopped a little bit oh my god it'sfucking awful I should have never donethe popping part but they actually cutit a little bit during that - I was justtrying something I can do it - and thenI ended that popping sequence with thatmovie moment and I got the whole like myoh my whole like two rounds that I didlike I'm gonna push that clip actuallypart of me wants to post that clip on myInstagram but then like a couple of mybosses follow me on Instagram so I didso fucking inappropriate dude I've madesome questionable decisions in my lifelike some things like I like oh my godsome shits on the internet and howembarrassed is me to look back on itlike the Quang Bang thing this is becomeI'm running joke but I actually paidsomeone to write an e-book for me andyou wrote it a hundred percent no Iwrote it I wrote the book so it was likeamazing ways to make money and then Idoes the book but I thought to myselfyou know what I kind of like this nameQuangthat's like it's my brand that's who Iam and then like in the night on thebook it says authored by Quang Bang Iwas like yeah I love this name and thisis like and then like looking back islike that was really fucking stupidpeople one time okay Lin Lin again soLin was like you know what use likeshe's talking to max her husband's likeyeah you know I want to buy this book tosupport Quang the book was like threebooks like you two or three peoplebought it pity buys I post on Facebookand then Max is like no don't buy thatbook it's a joke it's not real it'soften quaint bang I was like lookingback it's like god dammit why did I dothat I just I keep it up now I was likeman that post hella embarrasses me I waslike no it's it's funny I'll keep it upbabe we should do is just say oh it wasa joke the whole timeyeah fucking brilliant so if anyone'slistening amazing ways to make money bycoin babe buy it on Amazon for 99 centsI've shameless plug I've ya know I readit and I made money do that you were youwere thinking in the clearest of mindsyeah shout out shout out to that bookanyways I think that's probably a goodway to okay so um anyways uh this is mygood friend Quang and do you have anyclosing remarks amazing ways to makemoney by Quang going by the book onAmazon now yeahhave you made money from dude so I paidsome guy $100 to white Oh 127 and thenlike three people bought the book atlike 99 cents so you lost money so soI'm teaching people how to make moneyand then I just lost my office book thatyou people how to make money so theirony hey well the Hustle is real thanksfor being here make that money dudealright man alright thanks guys[Music][Music]you[Music]  

BBoy Ace, a west coast pioneer in Hip Hop, sits down to discuss his origins, work ethic, and thoughts on the culture of hip hop and breakin'. Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----[Music]this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by outside have youdeveloped a fear of the Sun because youstay inside all day commenting onYouTube videos or maybe you've developedan addiction to posting about howawesome your life is on social mediabetween your day job as an overpricedthrift store clothes model and sidehustle selling your new rap mixtape talkto your doctor to see if outside isright for you five out of five peoplethat have tried going outside have seenpositive results ranging from but notlimited to talking to actual peoplefeeling Sun on their skin moving theirbodies and not caring about the latestcelebrity gossip happiness is justaround the corner and through a doortalk to your doctor about going outsidesome participants going outsidesufferance of your injuries and evendeath from but not limited to hit by buscoronavirus being eaten by wolvesthe Californio them from tencel arekilling and kidnapped by terrace and nowonto the show[Music]in today's episode I talked to the WestCoast pioneer innovator and franklylegendary b-boy and hip-hop figure myfriend and influence b-boy ace pleaseenjoy the episode hello everybodywelcome to the show today I have the manthe myth the legend the teacher thepioneer the father the fiance futurehusband and b-boy he's been dancingsince the beginning of time so very longtime 91 yeah how long since 1991 1991well man you know what's interesting isthat I was talking to someone recentlywas that breaking kind of started aroundlike mid 70s right is that about whatyou think yeah that's that's at leastwhat I've heard so you've been breakingfor probably more than half of thelifetime of hip-hop that's like reallycrazy to even think of that it's such ayoung dance such a young culture that ina hundred years when it's still aroundpeople are gonna look back and go likewhat was happening in the beginningbecause it was like there's so muchfluctuation in and that this era righthere is like really what helped kind ofdefine it to be whatever it ends upbecoming well the thing that'sinteresting to me now is because there'sbeen absent flows to where it starts topstarts stops but from 91 on it's beenconsistent mhm it's been going there'sthere's been no stop yeah so it's gainedas MoMA as much momentum as there's everbeen and it's been a consistent thing sosince this time that that I began youknow and there were some started youknow who it was going a littlebefore I started but it's you know manyhave stopped but the whole thing is keptgoing so that that's a beautiful part ofpop that yeah yeah yeahfor me you know I got started I had nointerest in dance I didn't startoriginally as a b-boy interesting Ioriginally started as a house dancerWest Coast Oh a West Coast house yeahwhich is different from the house thathouse now yeah yeah that that is knownit's like a mixture of New Jack with alot more yeah upper body movement I seeso you know there was there was New Jackand like that was fun mm-hmmbut for me I didn't really have aninterest in doing that my brother was areally good at New Jack he was littleyeah and he tried to show me and Icouldn't do it like a lot like you knowlike I struggled even with somethingthat was less complicated okay but Ididn't have an interest in it so I waslike I'm cool on it yeah no big dealI want no part of it then the person whoended up being my teacher I and crazilyyou know it's crazy to say but to thisday one of the greatest dancers I'veever seenAaron L Coloma Oh from Palm Springs okayhe was a house dancer yeah he used topop when he was little and he went intoNew Jack and then he went into house andsuper talented and he saw my brother whowas really good at New Jack and hewanted to teach little kids to be to begreat house dancers yeah yeah yeah sohis intent was to teach my brother andso that's how I met him and I broughthim to my house to teach my brother yeahand while he was waiting for my brotherhe was just moving and that was thecraziest thing I ever saw yeah life likeit was literally like poetry in motionhmm I was tripping how old are you atthat time oka hot 16 some along thoselines I believe I was a sophomore inhigh school okay second half and I sawhim move and I just couldn't believethat somebody can move like that yeahlike I had never really seen anythinglike that and seeing it in person is acompletely different experience hmmso I was bugged out and I just kind ofknew that that's what I wanted to dothat's cool yeah it was it was harassedhim I literally harassed him for acouple weeks thank you to teach meWow and he wouldn't because he told mehe said do you understand like you can'tdo new jackand that's like basic arithmetic yeahhouse is far more complicated so it'skind of like doing pre-algebra yeah yeahhe's like you want to jump steps youwant to go straight to precalculus yeahalgebra whatever it is without evenknowing basic arrhythmia don't even knowhow a plus sign yeah you can't even justmake your lower body coordinate muchless upper body and lower bodysynchronized beautiful movements okaybut I was undeterred okay it was I sawit and from there like I just knew I hadto have it okay and so I just kept afterit yep I kept bugging him and finallyone day all right all rightI'm gonna teach you one step you'regonna learn that step and then you cometo me with that step and I'm gonna teachyou another step and I was like dealokay deal that's a good deal yeahbut I had to work for that one step yeahyeah and but he but he realized I wasnot going to stop mm-hm andfrom there it was a rap I I was 24/7with itwake up move act is practicing try andtrying to coordinate this uncoordinatedbody of mine yeahdirt at school during nutrition duringlunch after school at practice at hishouse before bed it was crazy I was amaniacyeah I was a maniac but I wanted to be Iwanted to move like he moved and I knewI was far off I was I was not you know Iwas realistic about where I was at himwhere he was at but I wanted to getthereyes quick as possible so I was 24/7 withit soothing yeah to the point where heliterally had to pull me aside at somepoint and tell me that you know yourmother your mother misses you yeah yeahyeah yeah love that love yourdetermination but you gotta sleepsometimes the guys are getting a littlea little annoyed that you'd never stopyeah and I was hurt I was hurt yeah likeI literally avoided didn't see him for awhile taking different routes to classreally yeah yeah yeah and literally wasthat like after a week we cross pathsand he kind of cut me off and was like aman like where you been like and he'slike don't take it that way you knowlike we're not saying stop you know theguys you know just just take a couplebreathe you know like breathe for ya youknow but yeah it's so that began my longjourney at the beginning I was gettingpretty good at house you know after agood little whileand then we went up to an event calledFilipino weekend up in Delano just pastBakersfieldyeah and that's you know the the groupwe were with was boys and style bis andso we were going up there and you knowwe were going to meet with the rest ofthe group and we're under the assumptionthat a group the soul brothers which isfamous house moved from LA we're gonnabe there and you know wanted to battlethem yeah yeah and they end up never endup showing up our cuz one of the crewmembers cousins from San Jose a groupcalled dangerous image came down andlike they were gonna be with us yeah andthey were a choreography group okaythat also braked because San Jose wasbig into braking amount of time and weall got bored and somehow it ended upbeing a battle between dangerous imageoh and you guys and B is okay except forthey braked him we didn't so you knowthey were they were really good yeah andthat the main guy from their group was awalks guy mm-hmmthis guy Alan hmm and he did walks evenhe was really good he notmerry-go-rounds and all that but he hadreally good walks yeah yeah hence theinspiration yeah when we started thevery next day we stopped Houston and webe started breaking is that quick it wasan instant like - it was like watchingmagic you know like really that thepower precision grace of you knowhigh-level break-in yeah it was like wowlike okay that that that is you know itwas inspiringso yeah we you knowwe started break-in Aaron L was breakingbut he was popping uh and you know andhe used to do that back in the days andsince he was such a good dancer and socoordinated he picked up like oh he wasan amazing popper like amazing but yeahthat that became our road and since ourmain inspiration from the opposition wasa walks guy mmm bis became a walks yeahwe we did spins we did you know all thespins but we care deeply about walksyeah that's that's kind of crazy becauselike definitely you guys like it it'slike walks and for people who don't knowwalks it's like the float how do youexplain yeah well that that you're onyour hands you're walking on your handslegs are off the ground and you're kindof going in let's ignore loading yeahit's like a pocket of air is underneathyour body and you're just walking aroundon your hands and there's so manyvariations of it but yeah yeah and youguys innovated those moves which iscrazy that like I guess before you evenbreak you saw someone else like kind ofwell I mean there were guys in the pastyou know like we didn't really know himtoo much except for when we startedbreak-in since there were no examples ofbreaking like we saw it in personmm-hmm and then when we wanted to startlearning we're you know just a fewbreak-in yeah you know beat Street likethose were our only examples of breakinbecause there was no YouTube there wasno footage it was what you saw in personother than those couple movies that wereon some VHS tapes you know and of coursethere were guys you know in B Street andbreak-in that that did you know somehigh-level walks you know there's buckfor of course oh you know here is hisTurtles he's super fast you know amazingbut not not a lot of and then of coursein break-inthere's handyman you know amazing youknow his amazing walks but that thoseare only a couple variations that wereshown on tape not the rest we were justgoing and figuring it out yeah and youknow hearing from some of the oh geezfor master movements you know giving usideas on things that they had done orseen or heard about you know so theywere kind of just giving us some inputtry this oh there's a walk like this allthere's you know but they couldn't do itthey were already done but that leasewere given us the ideas and kind of aframework of what you know just somethings to try and work on uh-huh andfrom there we were just working at ityou know like determined to get good atthat no yeah you know and then of courseit ended up leading you know afterseveral years to higher level walks I meand my brother were teaching the guysfrom 101 up in Pasadena and you knowthose were guys like brick Rand dabstones which at the time his name wasthere because you know they used to tagso okay and did you ever do it I wasnever in attacking oak I just straightinto Jane into dancing yeah I wentstraight from like sports into danceyeah you know but yeah you know so thoseguys you know we we taught those guysand then had the scene was just you knowgetting a little yeah so what inspired Iguess your creativity within that danceI mean I guess obviously going fromhousing to to breaking and I mean Iimagine a lot of a lot of that hadinfluenced your style I mean becausehousingor at least the housing from back thenwas very kind of kind of jumpy and rightwell yes I believe LOI well very flowybut you know and there was differentstyles in in house you know it was notsame movements there were guys that hada very rigid hard-hitting style therewas others they had flowing there therewas a lot of popping elements oh yeah init so so even in in the West Coast housethere there was a lot of different looksyeah you know that that kind ofdifferentiated each you know dancers ownparticular persona yeah you know and theway they moved so you know when westarted moving into break-in we were itwas mainly power based mm-hm we did somestyle but from what we had seen becauseour experience was very little and therewas no footage there was not a lot ofdifferentiation in style so I kind of wekind of did it just to say we had stylejust to kind of check that box but it itwasn't at least for myself I was nothighly inspired to do style because Ifelt like it was in a box from what Iwhat I had seen the experience it wasn'tuntil the tapes of storm and them thatkind of made their way over here thatlike the realization that oh you can doso much with it it's it really is justlike house yeah like it really is youknow style is really as far as your mindyour creativity your persona yeah yeahlike yeah levels personality silly sillythingsyeah that end up looking dope you knowlike there was just that thatrealization that oh like there's nolimits there's no like yeah like it'sdance just at different levels and yeaha different way but it's still dancejust just like house so from their styleit you know I was all about that youknow like it it became a very fun and anever-ending puzzle that to this day Iwork on yeah yeah it is a puzzle I meanwhat drove me to breaking actually issomething similar is that it there wasno limit you can come come into it andjust kind of have fun with it dowhatever you want make it work you knowreally like if you had a dumb idea tosee to try to make something work justroll around on the ground see make tryto make it work you know some of themost amazing steps that happen are byaccident definitely you know just fromthe attempt of something new you youprovide yourself with an opportunity todo something that you know maybe itworks and that's amazingor it doesn't work out but it turns outto be a better step yeah because it wassomething that your body justautomatically had that on a DNA levelyeah that you were not aware of you knowwith your own consciousness but on amore subatomic level yeah your bodyalready had it yeah in tow and was justready for you just for you to give itthe opportunity yeah I'm completelyconvinced that every move in braking wasfrom someone just falling down and goingoh let me try to control that and do thesame thing though but you know and justmake it look cool you know well wellyeah I mean it it you know it's aconstant thing to where you're trying tolike expand or go into neutral unchartedterritory yeah you know when we firststarted like you know for me the thingthat keeps me coming back is I know I'llnever have this bad boy figure it outyou know but it's so fun just becauseI'm I'm always searching for things likesomeNo you know like like as if I was abrand-new b-boy who it was firststepping onto the floor for the firsttime and I have that same thoughtprocess and what I love is the guys youknow Rob and Cujo and all the other guysyou know that that run in our circlehave a similar mind frame yeah of playmm-hmm you know like what we do is veryserious but we play like children youknow like it's it's something thatbrings joy that's something that we youknow approached like the first timewe're not afraid to give each otherinput or to to move in a weird positionyou know just because yeah there'ssomething exhilarating about about thatjust playing around and just planningyou know something pull one actuallytold me is that the reason he likes theword b-boy rather than somethingdifferent like be men or the adult orwhatever is that really you have yourown adult responsibilities but when youcome to break you are letting your innerchild to come out to play and that's whythe word b-boy or b-girl is moreappropriate than something like a B manor B woman just because you're lettingyour child come out and have fun and I Ithink anybody who is I don't want to saydoing it properly because not to demeananyone else but at least for myself tome that's doing it right yeah it isallowing yourself to be freeand I think when you you knowparticularly associate with childrenthere's a freedom that they have that asadults we lose many at least many loseon various levels they they lose theirfreedom they lose their they have thesepreconceived notions that oh well I'm anadult now yeah and so I need to respondthis way or I need to give thisI need to do you know and that's not thecase that you know you could absolutelybe a responsible person a caringindividual that handles all the variousresponsibilities of your day-to-day butstill be that child to still carry yourinner child in various parts of yourlife I mean I still I still watch animeand cartoons oh yeahto this day yeah yeah you know it's it'sa you know it's funny I had this thingwith my yeah I'd said the other day wewere watching something it had to dowith you know fairy tales type stuff inand for a second she seemeddisinterested I said okay you know let'sturn this off I'll watch this later andshe's like oh no don't be like thatshe's like it's just you know I'm not achild I didn't want I said well why doyou you know like why why do you have tolose your imagination just because we'rea certain age why why do you have togive up your imagination why do you haveto give these things up like we handleall the things we need to handle youknow like they're not hurting you thatthere is there is nothing wrong withhaving an imagination and creativity andholding on to that that childlike partyyourself and and I think it helps usconnect and you know even with our ownchildren you know why like I think ourchildren are more connected to us andlove us all the more because weunderstand them just you know on somelevel just a little bit different thanmaybe a Parenthood isn't holding on to apart there yeah their inner child yeahthis is like a subject that's prettydear to me because you know my mothershe's an artist and she's you know shewas working with a lot of people thatwere you know under they had a lot ofproblems drug abuse all sorts of stufflike that so she was running thisprogram where she would teach them artkind of as a therapy and they werefinding that when these people reallyhadn'tdone anything creative in their life fora long time and once they started doingthat creative these creative things itstarted like sparking up a change intheir life for the better so that theywere more willing to get their lifetogether and so it was like somethingthat they were just lacking as a humanin their life and so it made me reallythink that or believe that creativity isjust like this fundamental thing thatthat humans need and I mean and I thinkit's deeply connected with like play youknow this is our way we play well I meanlike of course people and is one thingyou know being able to play laughtermm-hmmyou know of course the scientificstudies you know yeah yeah how laughterand being able to tap into things thatbring us joy mm-hmm you know life ishard before you know particularly foradults a lot of responsibilities to beable to take a moment for yourself to beable to put all of that on pause and tobe able to let go of everything in tapinto something that is that fulfills youthat brings you fulfillment brings you ajoy you know and different people findit in different ways you know andcertainly you know dance does that forusbut yeah it's a it's an important thingto be able to find things that bring youmeaning that bring you joy that thatallow you to play and create you know inone form or fashion mm you know whenpeople talk about me and dance and youknow like I guess I still look fairlyyoung you know I'm 45 now but you knowmost that speak with me think I'm muchyounger and it's just because I thinkit's because I allow myself I make somefor myself you know there there's adifferent side different purpose whetherit be taking care of myself you knowdance has done a lot for me you know theway I take care of myself the way I eatsleep the way I you know take time forexercise stretching and and that's allfor my dance yeah you know so for medance has been you know a true blessingjust because I would have to find themotivations you know to somehow pull anddo those things on my own but you know Iwould have to generate it somewhere elsebecause for me my motivation for doingall of those things has to do with myperformance as a dancer and you knowit's funny I was talking about storm asyou know motivation one of the things Iliked is I'd seen him on many occasionsbut never spoke with them because he wasalways surrounded by so many people somany other dancers they had admirationfor him yeah because of course it'sdeserved but I never wanted to meet himin that way because even though I haveall the admiration in the world for howhe influenced me I don't think any oneis better than me I don't think I'mbetter than anyone else but I don'tthink anyone else is better than memm-hmmyou know we're humans yeah you know thatinspire each other but I didn't want himto see me that wayto where everyone's like tugging at hiscoattails yeah so so even though I hadopportunities I never spoke with him andthen one of the times at one of the freesaw sessions I had seen him with theguys from soul control with which arelike my little brothers Charles and Cujoand they were sitting and just talkingwith them and I was like amazing yeahbecause those are my guys and I couldjust sit down and talk uh-huh you knowand I got they introduced me to him andI had the opportunity tobe able to let him know that I reallyappreciated what he had done for mehelping me I inspired me and helped meto understand yeah that that it reallywas like dance you know and made stylefun about a week later he was up northfor an event up that way and Charles wasgoing up there to hang out with them andand kind of take care of him show himaround drives him and had invited me tocome I went up there and so from there Igot to be around him more and just talkyou know and with and humanized walkedwell yeah yeah not not just about dancejust about whatever oh yeah and you knowlike I think one of the things heappreciates is when people just treathim like a normal personyeah yeah like you know he understandsthat that he's had impact but he heknows he's a normal guy too you know andwants to have stimulating conversationwith people who who treat him just likeany other person and we had that youknow and to this day we do I was talkingwith him the other day and we'rechopping up over some other stuff youknow but we were able to build on thatand then when we finally danced togetherlike we we hadn't you know we just hungout and talked hmm philosophies onwhether it be life b-boying to dance theway we saw it and we saw things verymuch the same and then it wasn't untilthe very end of the weekend that we wereover at mega man's house and it was Ithink his lady's birthday and we were inall in the living room big wood flooryou know okay and we started off lockingand we were having fun that way and thenI said oh now I feel like breakingand we we started breaking he went outthe guys were going out he went out andthen there was a time I was gonna go Iwas gonna go out and I went out and Ithink he like he just wasn't he didn'tthink that I could I guess dance on thelevel I was dancing huhso I got up and he was about to go outand he kind of had like a uh like andthen he pushed somebody else out andthey went out instead and then it's likeand then he ran something through hismind and then of course right after thatperson finished she went out anddestroyed it yeah but me and him musthave went like 20-something around ohwowyeah like we were just having funYelp plane and and I didn't know it atthe time you know cuz I was just havingfun exchanging and it ended up becominga thing where a lot of the guys werewatching and meet me and storm wereexchanging to you know just playingand I remember Gerald rest in peace youknow one of our other Gerald caster lowhe had come in and said yo Charles wantsto go like like you know we're waitingon you guys and I was like oh storm wegot to go and storm had told generallike yo tell Charles we'll be out in alittle while and then he looked at mesaid yo ace let's keep goingand then we just kept going for or awhile longer and when we left you knowhe was like really happy you know I meanI knew I was happy but he was havinghe's like yo ace like I haven't dancedlike that in like I can't even tell youhow long you know and I was like get outof here bro like you know like you're ina different country like every week youknow surrounded by amazing dancersuh-huhno no no you know it's different youknow like people either are in likelooking like look at me like too high orthey're trying too hard to impress meyou know like instead like just six hesaid me and you we were just kind ofhaving a conversation you know and andthat's the whole thing about dance danceis a conversation you know like likehe's like you were doing somethingthat's giving me ideas and I was goingout and doing something then you weregetting ideas and he like he said youknow that that I haven't had that in areally long time yeah you know wheresomebody just had a conversation with meyou know and he said like for me thatthat just blew my mind and like I saidyou know we well we're kind of I don'tknow to me kind of like kindred spiritslike you know like we see things a lot alot the same way and you know I feelblessed that I have people like Robynpuja you know like we're all kind of inthat you know like I try to surroundmyself with people that are like-mindedyou know that you have thatopen-mindedness and and if they don't Itry to cultivate it yeah yeah you knowand help them to understand that becauseat least for myself that's where I foundthe real joy in dance is in the exchangein the conversation in being open-mindedto new ways of moving and takingsomething and flipping it yeah you knowon its side on its back on its headwhatever it might be you know cuzthere's no one way of looking at thisthing like you know and the beautifulpart is we will never have this thingfigured out and it's what keeps mecoming back yeah because when I come outto a dance floor when I go to a practicethere's an exhilaration that I have noidea what's gonna happen today yeah yeahand that's amazing uh-huh you know Ilike I gave up the preconceived notionoh this is what I'm gonna do this I havea few ideas like oh I want to try thistoday on that I just give it up becauseI found that when I go out withpreconceived notions that oh I'm gonnado this this this and this you think toomuchthat's what it becomes well I mean inthe end like we talked about thatsubatomic level how you go in and you'regonna do this move and it doesn't workout and sometimes it works out betteryeah because your body on a subatomiclevel new nope we're doing this yeahwhen you try to work against your bodywhen you work you know like your body'sgonna win and you could just come outall kinds of ugly you like you know likeat some level you have to give in towherever your body's at on that day likeoh I'm will work on this if it if yourbody says nope we're doing this insteadyou got you like you're best offtrusting because in the end your yourDNA knows better yeah for me like whatI've always done is and what I've beentrying to do a lot more is like when Itrain I'll train you know differentsequences of movements that I think workwell together but when I actually danceyou know perform or battle or whatever Itry to just not think of anything I justtry to focus on music try to focus onwhoever I'm battling or whatever I'mperforming at just focus on the momentand just let my body do whatever it'sgonna do because I've spent all the timein practice working through differentcombinations that I think makes sensethat I trust that my body's gonna knowwhen to do that or when not to do thatso if I just focus more on music andjust let let it happen it just feelsmore natural to me it probably looksmore natural to and then hopefully thosecombinations I have been practicing maketheir way out in some form and you knowI'm happy with that too so it soundslike that's maybe like what you do aswell yeah I mean I have ideas you knowlike I think it's it's it's at least formyself good to go out like okay I wantthese things to come out at some pointin time you know yeah like anda lot of the muscle memory will kick inyeah it is moving yeah you know ifyou've put together certain combinationsand certain movements you know they'regonna come together at some pointthey're gonna execute just becauseyou've done these different things butof course there's a spontaneity to ourdance and you know working in with musicand all that you know and of course Ifeel that music is important I feel likeI think there's some people that thatplay too hard to the music to where theystart to kind of lose themselves thatand when you hit him you know and and toeach their ownyeah every single beat you knowsometimes when people work every singlebeat then they they kind of lose I guessa certain moment like for me like I'm inthe flow of the music the way I dance Istay in the flow in the pocket of themusic and then I accent different partsthat I want really to stick out or standout and being in that wave the rest justgoing and flowing through the rest ofthe music you know and there are somepeople who are amazing hidden everyevery single beat for me I I see a lotof hit or miss with that though toosometimes it's a super amazing momentthat's etched in the history of timethat's enough well there's others thatit was like I kind of lost the messageoh yeah like they're trying too hard todo every single thing and it's like okayI don't they stay in the story you'reactually trying to portray now yeahbecause I mean at least for me I feellike when we're you know when I go outand the dancers that I seem to gravitatea little bit to a a little bit morethey're they're moving and they'retelling some sort of story you knowto make you know beginning a middle andan end you know and just for me the onesthat every single be every single timelike I said there there are somespectacular moments you know some roundsthat will always be remembered but thenthere's also some times that you areleft walking away soon I didn't reallyget what they were trying to tell me youknow just me you know that just the wayyou know I see it so so it's definitelya catch-22 and it's a difficult thing topull off and only a certain few arereally at least to me that that I'veseen that really pull that off and makeme say oh wow okay they're like thatthat they pull it off more times thannot yet they have a higher ratio youknow higher percentage of being able topull it off what what is one of the Iguess highlight moments that you've seenI guess in all your history of the dancewhat's something that stands out I meanobviously your story with battling stormis probably a highlight but what aboutother things maybe something that youmay be a battling with we were we weresharing you know yeah it was aconversation yeah of course that was ahot like you know like I've just had youknow with the moments there's there'sjust so many you know I mean just nojust sharin in the community seeing allthe different generations of dancers youknow come through and give their givetheir party inspire in their way andthen being able on our end to be able topartake in and share with them like asyou know whatever practice that I'm ator event if I see something that I feelcan be helpful to another dancer youknow I'll usually make my way over andjust kind of throw it out theresay you know like this is take it orleave it you know you don't youcertainly don't need to use this butthis is this is something that I seethat I think can help your dance but youknow like like I hope you don't takethat you know the wrong way yeahbecause we've always been a firmbeliever you know me and the guys havealways been firm believers in in helpingbring bring the next dancers or evenveterans like it doesn't matter likeI've had guys that have come to meyou know so many like you know and sayhey you know I know people look at uslike legends you know but like we wewant to grow to like you know what likedoesn't mean that that we don't want tolearn yeah you know and I knew what thatkind of meant like that they werelooking for help and for me like I'llhelp anybody who has a decent heart youknow so I my response has always beenlike well yeah of course like if we'renot learning and growing what are wedoing here you know like anyone whothinks they have this dance figured outyeah they're out of their mindyeah and they've stopped growing yeahyou know that that that's two things cuzthe moment you think you have anythingfigured out growth is done like there isno more growth the moment you think youhave it figured out you're wrong youdon't have it figured yeah because it'san endless thing but if for those whoare you know lucid or out of their mindenough to think that they do havefigured out and oh I'm on this level sothe growth is done like it you stop soso anyone who who has ever like a like Isaid I offer it up you know to to anyonejust really I'll walk over you know andoffer it up so if somebody were to askme you know in many who are consideredlegends of coursemany you know they've been my studentsyou know and others that have made theirlegend status on their own but just arestill on the path of growth if they'veever had a question or wanted to learnsomething I'm all for it you knowbecause yeah like we don'tlet's keep growing let's keep doing ityou know feel free to ask me anytimelike I love it you know it'sever-changing thing I mean hip-hop Iguess if you look at it throughout itshistory every couple years it's adifferent thing and so if you're not Iguess you know evolving with it you'realso you know you're losing yourself alittle bit you know kinda you know asfar as ever evolving it on some levelit's fads - oh yeah you know on somelevel things come and go so you knowit's cool to pay attention and to keepgrowing but if it's something that thatcalls to you - cuz in the end you stillhave to be true to who you are as anartist yeah so there's a lot of thingsthat I see that like look great but Idon't feel they're for meso I continue to grow in the ways thatmove me you know because if we'reconstantly worrying about what somebodyelse is doing and what's in right nowthen we're never really gonna findourselves you know like we're nevergonna find who we are as a dancer and tocontinue to build us like to buildyourself as an artist so but if so youknow it's good to pay attention becauseif you see something that says wow likeyes I want to use that and incorporatethat into my dance because I think thatthat will take what I want to do and youknow change you know take my art where Iwant it to goyou know like we talked about at one ofthe last practices a vision a vision foryour dance you know you may not be ableto do everything that you want to do butI think any any great artists has hadsome sort of vision for what they wantto do like some grand scheme like Ohlike that's kind of crazy you know andyou may not be able to do it now but ifyou have when you have that vision youknow you kind of start doing differentmovements and different exercises andstretches and whatever else whateverelse it might be to kind of work towardsthat goal you know to work towards thatvision you know and then of coursethere's a whole lot of play that comesalong that that will change your visionaround but but I feel like you know allthe great artists have to have some somesort of vision you know even if itchanges along the way you know to have avision and to work towards a vision youknow and not be to be cognizant ofwhat's around you but not consumed towhere you have to do what they do toknow like okay you know that's dope andI recognize that's dope but that's notyou know I'm gonna continue to do what Ido and take the parts that I really wantthat I feel will take me towards myvision yeah yeah the thing that me andVince do a lot is we'll see what otherpeople are doing you know what the fadreally is and rather than try to do thatwe'll go okay if someone does thatagainst me in a battle like what am Igonna do well ya know I mean I know youcan respond to it well especially ifyou're looking for battles you know theresponses to to questions you know oryeah to be able to respond and kind ofyou know in a battle you knowthis is what is generally out there yeahthis is gonna come and you have aresponse you know those are just goodbattle tactics to be able to have aresponse within what you did well yeahwhat I do yeah you know but but youalready have answers to the questionexactly you know so yeah those are thoseare things that are very important andthen of course like you said you knowand then things like battles and stufflike that that's a that's a wholedifferent you know it's its own elementand conversation and being able to Imean of course you have to do what youdo but be able to like even the way wepackage what we do you know ourmovements and and the packaging anddelivery of what we do can be the energyin which we do what we do it's verydifferent yeah you know like yeah youknow it but I think one of the importantthings is that it comes from a genuineplace you see a lot of actors you knowin the scene to where yeah it's that'snot really who they are it's not agenuine part of their dance actor I'venever heard someone say that but that'swhat it is yeah it's acting you know andthe ones who like are best at what theydo I think more times than not things docome from a genuine place yeah that'swhy it receives more credit like thennot because people can fill somethinggenuine behind their movements and atleast for the ones to me that that standout and over time like they still likenot just when in a jam and not just whenin an event but being admired being ableto be understood as a pioneer of whatthey do and to be like to drawinspiration from otherto where because they just see somethingthat is more genuine in in in theirmovements than the typical person whoexecutes things and wins that Jamthere's a lot of people who win gemsthat are not maybe and never really beremembered you know I'm sure there's somany people you know when you look backyou're like who won this gem who on thatJam and not remember them whereasthere's people like Rob Silla or a Cujoyeah that have lost more gems than theother one and you remember there but butthey will when when their name is talkedabout people know and are like wow likethat guy is amazing I'm glad you broughtthat up because I have the same thoughtabout it is because there's so manybattles I remember vividly because youknow either I was there I saw footageand I was like this is a crazy amazingbattle and I can't remember who won youknow that battle or who won the jam oranything about it other than the battleand who was in it I could tell youexactly what each person is wearing orwhatever in the battle but I'm like Ihave no idea if they even won the gym Idon't even know where the jam was youknow what I mean yeah and I could careless to be honest but that battle therewas crazy and it's cemented in my brainas like one of the coolest things I'veever seen you know and so it just goesto show you that the jam is not thedefining thing it's and the win andwinning a jam is not the defining thingit's it's like the moments that you'recreating the moments that you create theway you inspire and an hour inspire byothers and the way you inspire otherswith dancing from a genuine place youknow just yeah though though manydancers have come to me over the yearsand said oh what do you think I shouldwork on and what would you recommend forthis you know Ana's like okay you knowwe'll onewhat is your end goal are you looking towin a jam or are you looking to beremembered mmmyou know because those are twocompletely different things yeah yeahyou know and then I usually bring up theanalogy of things like Cujo and Rob andstuff like that you know and that thatwhen people bring up their name they'realways like people now automaticallyknow who they are yeah you know andthey're inspired and think like wow likeyeah he dances like nobody's businesslike I don't even know how he came upwith that you know whereas there's manyothers that that are amazingthey you know they are they execute youknow mm-hmm well maybe they just haven'tfound their Oh something that makes thatstands out but solely yeah it's wherethis belongs to this person like nonobody dances like this guy you knowwhen somebody tells me like Oh ace youknow like I don't know I don't think Idance like okay I suppose maybe becauseI don't think too much about my owndance I just enjoy the process always inprocess and you know and I just there'sa just a genuine joy in dance but whensomebody comes to me and says oh manlike yeah like when you dance like Iknow it's you like nobody dances likeyou I mean like you bring that brings mea joy and satisfaction because that's myend goal I don't know if I'm if I'mdoing it you know and on to what levelyou know but for me I want the freedomof being me I want you know when I danceI'm trying to just find me all the timeyeah you know and and it's a continualthing because we're ever-changing we'reever-growing you know like the me ofninety-one should not be the me of nowmm-hmmyou know I should be a different me soeven even when I go out and dance todayI'm searching for my truth today who ami today you know and just being open toif that'sdifferent you know I think for the mostpart it's going to there's gonna be afeel of who you are but but new aspectsof yourself yeah you know and I don'tknow for me that that's what II thought about creativity as an artistit's not to just hold on to you know tofind yourself but doesn't mean you haveto be the you of three years ago or lastweek or you know like that person wasamazing at that time love it cherish itand move on move on because you can'tever recreate those moments thosemoments were wonderful at that time butif you're stuck there you know it'snever gonna be the same you know you cando the same combination it's never gonnabe exactly the way it was at that momentin time on that day and you know andyeah I had to learn that a long time agotoo you know I had this some differentamazing moments you know that that justcame about and I tried to recreate themand worse worse sessions ever justbecause that moment had passed you knowand the moment I came to the realizationthat you gotta let go you know andunderstand that that was a beautifulmoment at that time but that is overyeah and and trust like we talked abouton a DNA level that whatever your bodyis telling you and wherever you're at atthat point in timetrust it go with it as long as you feelyou're notimitating or copying somebody else youyou're kind of finding your way andfinding your truth for that day that'swhere the beauty lies kind of embracingthe view of right now and moving with itof course because I know buddy's justgonna change and being a completelydifferent person but you can finddefinitely new elements of yourself youknow if you're open to it and for methat that's what makes you knowbeing an artist so much fun it isfinding these new parts of yourself likeevery single day yeah yeah so if youwere to go back in time to the 91version of you and tell that version ofyou I guess some advice what would youdo what would that be oh god you know II'm not really sure about what I wouldtell myself back then because I'veenjoyed the process the whole way youannounced observe you know like you meanobserve myself of old or observe you nowgoing back in time to see the 91 versionof you would you say anything or no oryou just observe or just well you knowit that's a double-edged sword toobecause yeah it might change well youknow like for me I've enjoyed thejourney yeah the journey is fun it's allabout you know like it's all about thejourney like you know the beauty oftoday like I've had so many amazingmoments throughout my life but I thinkit's because I understand that I'm onlygiven today I don't like iived at thispoint just because I woke up everysingle morning and said well I stilllove it so I'm gonna do it like that'sitI've never in my wildest dreams wouldhave imagined that going on near 30years that I'm still you know 45 yearsold still busting still still breakingyou know stay still dance in period at45 you know when I was a teenager youknow 16 year old you know a 16 year oldkid started we thought somebody who youknow busted for nine years was like whoaat that he's so gee like that's coollike nine years yeah like in here yeahmore than tripled that yeah you know and[Music]yeah like that's it's just crazy to eventhink that that we would still be denserand andlevel like you know that that's you knowone of the things that me and storm weretalking about the other daywas the the joy of dancing still at highlevel having high expectations forourselves and saying I never ever wantold man props like I'm sorry I dancebecause when I dance you know like I dothe things I do I take pride in my dancelike I love the process but make nomistake about it when I'm on a dancefloor with other dancers I want them tounderstand that I'm a bad man yeah thatthat when I do things that I do thingsthat that they can't do even youngeryeah like you know doing walks clotheslike you know certain Power Movecombinations that I can do it 45 that itthat some of the younger cats can docats don't do walks like me and Cujoyeah yeah yeah they just don't it's it'snot the same the the west coastmerry-go-rounds Deadman's all thedifferent high level sky turtlescarousels whatever you want to call themlike all the different variations wewalk around that we glide around a roomwith our body fully extended we're nothopping in one place you know and I knowa lot of people they don't know theydon't understand you know and on somelevel yeah it's weird and arrogant butthe walks that are out there are on anelementary level in comparison to theway that me and Cujo dueled is like ohit's a lost art I think I mean a lot ofit absolutely it absolutely is andpeople will never understand it untiluntil they try it when they when theystart down the journey of doing it theway me and Cujo do it they understandthere they have a what that hell momentlife you knowone of the homies gastro fromGuadalajara he was down here in LosAngeles dude is so strong super superstrong has amazing walks the wayeveryone else does him mmmhoppy well you know no problem knock itout the box I started taking him undermy wingyou know Cujo was trying to show himselfand then he started showing up andwanting to practice with me in Seoul Itook him under my wing and started toteach him the way me and Cujo did do andlike I said can do it the way everyoneelse does it like nobody's business andhis can hold his body straight out likenobody's business very strong butlearning how to do it the right way theway we do it West Coast walks hestruggled struggled struggled struggledand he was like I'm so tired brothank god this is so hard bro like youknow like month you know good monthworking with him regularly strugglingyeah and finally he started to get it atthe end but this was like like a regularthing that I was working with himimparting my knowledge telling him don'tput your hand here and get your hipsover here faster do this you know alongwith all of his already previousknowledge and he struggled with it andhe's starting to finally get it at theend but then he had to go back toGuadalajara and I told him practicepractice practicebecause high level walks is not likeregular moves yeah like if I were toassociate it regular like most movesthat you get it it's like once you getit you get it it's kind of like aone-night stand with high-level walksthat's a marriage you're in a long-termcommitment you better keep at it becauseshe will get up and walk and leaveshe will leave you and I told him thisabout six months you know to a year likebetween there went to vacation you knowwhen on vacation in Mexico was downthere and got a lotta met up with himand his crew and he told me I'm so sorrybroI lost him like I didn't I didn't listento you I didn't practice them andthey're gone and so I told him okay youknow I'm gonna teach you again like youknow and we'll work at it this timestick with it I have to see his accountto see where he's at but it just showsit just it's an example of how just howdifficult high-level walks are the wayCujo and I do them really are and I takea lot of pride in that and I can stillmean Cujo both can do all of our walksyou know different combinations thatwe've done from the past we can still dothem at a high level in our 40s yeah andfor me I take a lot of you know like themoment I I can't dance the way I want todancethen maybe maybe I'm gonna stop I don'tknow like I haven't gotten at that pointyet yeah you know but but I don't wantold man props you know I don't wantsomebody to say oh man you should haveseen ace back in the days like oh likeyou can't you can't tell can't see youcan't see it now you know but he used tobe really good yeah you know the thingthat brings me most joy is when a dancerwho doesn't even know me comes over tome and says hey yeah like hey what'syour name like where are you from likedude you're really good and then when Itell them who I am and a little bit ofmy history for them to have that youknow more like like I love that you knowbecause those props from a really gooddancer you mean more oh I mean you knowmore times than not it's a really gooddancer you know somebody I say all thatguy's pretty good you know and then theymake their way over and reciprocate thatsame love and admiration saying hey whoare you like you know when you walk overto somebody that you just don't evenknow and say I kind of have to know whoyou are like I think highly enough ofyour dance that I want to know who youare and then you know then to find thehistory later you know like and then ofcourse the admiration is much deeperonce they find out like well you're thisperson you're a kudos teacher you'rethis person's teacher you're four howold are you yeah all 45 what you knowlike like for me that is yeah there's asatisfaction and enjoy because just asan artist I want whoever it is it givesme respect or respects what I do I wantit to be from a genuine place like ifit's not there I don't want it becausethen that will feed by motivation towork harder to get back to where I needto be yeah like you know and there's youknow like I understand there's good playpeople come from good places whenthey're being nice but there's alsosomething that handicaps the otherperson whether it be kids or girls orwhatever it might bemm-hmm the reason why we've got into thepeople who have gotten good it's becausethere's there's a need of wanting to beappreciated to be recognized to bevalidated by others that they admire youknow there's a hunger you know not tosay people don't fulfill their own cupby like you know being an artist butthey're I firmly believe that you knowand I think that that we all want to berecognized by others we admire you knowwe want to be validated and for thatperson say that dude is good you knowlike III really you know like what thatfor the person I admire admires what Ido yeah Wow like okay that's you knowand that feeds our hunger that feeds ourflame you know so whatever it is Ialways want it to come from a genuineplace you know and like I say meansstorm we're laughing about that likedude like I call it quits you know likeif I can't do what I do and and feelgood about my dance when I step on adance floor like I don't want anyonegiving me pity props I don't wantsomebody saying oh that was you knowpretty good good job don't do it walkawayyeah like oh you still got it yeah likeit's not that you still got it it's likeit never left it was always here and itgot better so that's that's what you'regoing foralways I'm looking to grow I'm lookingto be a factor I'm looking to inspireyou know myself and others you know likeand I think a lot of really greatartists have this about themselves tothat they are their own biggest criticyeah you know like yeah I know I like wetalked about having a vision you knowlike I know what I want to do and I youknow it's something that that's been adouble-edged sword because I've alwaysbeen hard on myself to I could dosomething incredible and it didn't workout the way I wanted to and I kind ofwalked away like walked out of thecircle like it wasn't amazing you knowwe're where others are like you knoweven pump you spoke about popo used totell me to he had to kind of help mewith that too yeah where he's like dudewhat are you doing like you didsomething amazing and you walked awaywith your head down like he's like don'tthat like you know play you know whetherwhat it would like nobody else knew thatyou messed up like in your own head youmight have messed up yeah but nobodyelse knew that I was like I'll tell youthat right now nobody else knew that theonly way they knew it is you walked awaywith youso that was you know that was somethingthat I'm good you break very preciselyto and so like I can imagine where youmeant to put your foot exactly in thisspot but you missed it by an inch andyou're like oh I messed up but literallyno one can tell that you didn't put itan inch backwards where it was supposedto be and you missed it so you'd get upand go like oh crap I messed that up andthen they're like I don't know that wascrazy disappointed and that's you knowthat that's kind of been my you know myblessing and my curse because becauseI'm always out there searching for myown perfection it it pushes me I striveyou know I've worked I've always been aworker like I said I had two left feetyou know people will see me they're likewhat what do you mean you know but thatwas terrible mm-hmm I was terrible Iworked for everything that I had I'veI've had to break down use trained usemy mind you know more than the averagedancer because I had to like I've alwayshad to break down yeah an understandingof a step a combination of power movebody positioning like where I should beat a certain point in time so when I'mable to t like one I could a teacherit's helped me to really be a goodteacher to others because I myself couldnot do without having a full grasp orunderstanding you understand theintricacies of making them move yeah andI you know I think you can make moveswork but I think for me where it's beena blessing too is you know I've beenable to continue to grow and find moreefficient ways of doing things because Ijust because I can do something doesn'tmean I feel like that's the only way andthat there's not a better way I'm alwayssearching to see if there's a better wayI'm always questioning myself like yeahI feel it this way but I'm open to thepossibilities that I can do it better orthat there is a better way you knowbecause where I where I did something atthat point in time yeah it was effectiveyou know but yeah there's more you knowand we found a bunch of new ways whetherit be power moves or style of saying youknow what if you put your foot downfaster here you put this knee down youknow like and then we tried we're likeyeah that does work like dope and thenjust a whole new range of possibilitiescome in constantly you know so yeah it'samazing man I love it well I think withthat being said we could probably inthis show we've been going for an hourand 15 minutes already kind of timeflies by right yeah well yeah man Iappreciate you having me on you knowlike just being able to speak about allthe possibilities and the culture andour artistry mm-hmm you know cuz cuzthat's what we are you know I I alwaysappreciate the opportunities for to justconversate ya know it's important tokind of spread the ideas that we allhave and just put it out into the worldand see what other people have to sayabout it and just you know I guess theZulu nation each one teach one is it'simportant it's important in hip-hop todo that well yeah it's it's going to youknow like we're only a moment in time weare just a piece of of all of this so ifwe keep it to ourselves where does allthat knowledge go after after we're doneafter we leave you know like like I saidwe're only promised today so even withsomebody who has good intentions ohmaybe later I'll get around to it youknow like they're not promised that timeso you know yeah being able to sharewith each other is a vital part of anysociety yeah and as we said this dancehip hop is still in its infancy in a wayand that it you know there's so muchhistory that's you know beyond us soit's good to get these ideas out now andjust because you know we don't knowwhere the scenes gonna go from here andI mean it's it's it's exciting to seewhat is in store for the future anddefinitely yeah so well thank you forcoming on do you have any last-minuteshoutouts or anything you want to say orany plugs or anything which oh well justyou know the guys you know my brotherswhether it be master movements soulcontrol you know my my variousinspirations around the world you knowmy teacher airnow Coloma you know likeforgiving me just an opportunity youknow and even when he sees me now youknow he says and you were like the lastperson I ever would have thought wouldhave made hey you know yeah an impactbut look II look at you after all theseyears you know but but nobody canmeasure your heart your desire your playyour you know and many of the greatdancers I see around the world startedwith similar themes to where it was hardfor them at the beginning but nobody canmeasure their heart so you know if youhave a want for something do it for youyou know in the end always do it for youand have fun doing it the whole waythrough don't let anyone tell you whatyou can ordo I had that from the very beginningand many others have also we can dowhatever we put our mind to and I won'thave fun along the way here to herealright thanks you guys for listening[Music][Music]you 

I do not want to have youto fill the empty parts of meI want to be full on my ownI want to be so completeI could light a whole cityand thenI want to have youcause the two of us combinedcould set it on fire

Intention Statement:  I HAVE TODAY...to Love All of Me Completely! When you were born, all you knew was LOVE.  You were adored, pampered, held, kissed, hugged, taken care of.   Over time, negative emotions, words, responses, actions and people began to DIM YOUR LOVE LIGHT!  Then, you started believing you were, bad, stupid, worth being ignored, not good enough. Other people’s negative beliefs and energy became anchored into you.   Those negative, limiting beliefs live in your subconscious and can hold you back from loving the one person you need to love more than anyone else...and that’s YOU.   On this week’s episode of “I HAVE TODAY” I share with you 3 reasons why your lack of self-love might be holding you back and “how to” start loving YOU the way you should be loved...unconditionally, unapologetically, unlimited.     If You want to attract “The One” or You want to keep “The One”...Then You Need to Be Your BEST VERSION of You!   If you’re not loving on you and treating yourself the way you want to be treated in a relationship, then the only kind of relationships you’re going to attract are partners who feel about themselves the same way you do!     Tune in to learn the ONE QUESTION YOU MUST BE ASKING YOURSELF!   You’ve Got to Let Go of the Negative Self-Talk and Talk of Others!   Tune in why this is hurting you so much!   You Need To Give Yourself A Break!   You are not in competition with anyone but yourself!  There’s a logical reason why this is happening! So, tune in to hear why, and thenI share a process that will help you feel so much better about yourself!   This was a powerful episode.  You’re going to love it! PS:  Are you interested in creating a “HAVE IT ALL” Life?  Click here to watch my Free Video Training to Learn More.   https://youtu.be/Y0PO3moAze8

All right. Welcome back to the gut check project. This is now episode number 25. With your host, Dr. Kenneth Brown. I'm Eric Rhaegar. And can today we got an awesome guest, Michael Williams joins us.Well, like always, one of the coolest things about the gut check project is that we check our ego at the door. And once again, we brought in an expert. And we spent the last two hours being schooled on some stuff that we should have been schooled on a long time. Exactly. We don't know anything about Mike. How you doing?Pretty good. How you doing? You don't go by my hair. I go by Michael. Michael. See, that's what I did. I did it wrong.Yeah. Well, the one thing that we've done wrong a lot is the lighting in the studio, the green screen. We're having fun with trying to learn how to do this. So as it turns out, Michael is an expert in video green screen. He has been doing this for a long time, and we're going to get into that. And if you're a podcast or if you like watching this stuff, you're going to understand that everything is not as quite as easy as it meets theeye. You said something earlier like you know, Eric, one thing I really like is just talking to experts. Regardless of the field and that's what we're doing today.Yeah, well we had the financial experts on we had CBD takeout we've done Marisol, the queen of Thrones who's interestingly an expert in pooping which but that's very separate from what Michael does.But well I do that.Well, interestingly, I know that will do quid pro quo on this. I happen to be an expert in that in pooping, not in lighting. So since if we should trade back in the day, you helped us out with lighting, I'll make sure you poop. Okay.Appreciate that. Well, awesome. Let's do a quick rundown today. We're going to talk quick update on thanksgiving for all three of us. And then we have a new unboxing that we're going to share with everybody in the gut check project. Then we're going to hop right over to what Michael does best. Absolutely. So Thanksgiving, I I'll just go and start. I went over to my brother's house, Brad hosted we fried Turkey. We baked a turkey. We ate a lot of food. I had a blast. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I don't really have Any crazy details about it we just we played games we hung out my family, his family, my mom, we had a great time. Why is it your favorite holiday? There's no pretense around Thanksgiving. You just it's family coming together hanging out and spending time we we bonded over some some athletic events, football and basketball. We watched on TV. We played games. The entire time we're together. You just eat great food. You get lazy. You wear pajamas. It'snice. You know what, you're right. It's kind of like there. Michael, how was your Thanksgiving?It was wonderful. We had our first Thanksgiving in our new house. So we just bought a house in McKinney and you know moved in of mccamey. Peru. Yeah. Okay. But, and we've been there just a couple of months and we had four of our kids there. So for a six right for the six. Yes, we have our six one on either coast, New York and Brooklyn and everyone in Burbank in California. And, you know, we think they could make I think I'll be here for Christmas. We ate you know that all the turkey and the green bean casserole and lots of sweets and then afterwards, retired to the backyard with a single malt Scotch in a cigar. Oh, that sounds. And you know, it's the only holiday that it's really you're expected to watch football so it was kind of fun. Ranwell I decided to not be quite as this particular Thanksgiving I decided that it was my time to take the family on vacation. And so we went to my wife's from Puerto Rico and we went to Puerto Rico but I chose at almost 52 decided to pick up a new sport which is surfing, because I've seen Point Break and you know a lot of others. And so as it turns out, it's hard, man, but it's rewarding now. So cool. So I took the family to Puerto Rico for a week and it was really cool, sat on a beach made some good friends and some Virginia people that were sharing the house. With us, and it was it was exactly what Thanksgiving supposed to be, which is be with family have some fun. It was not relaxing, like watching football, but it was relaxing, like drifting in the ocean. So it was super cool. And I hope that everybody out there had a great Thanksgiving as well.Yeah, I hope so too. Hey, let's get to it. You want to get to the unboxing?Alright, so let's talk about the unboxing. So why don't you hold up the box. So we're having some great feedback, what we've been learning. So in my clinical practice, I know that there are certain supplements that can change people's lives. And one of the biggest frustrations that people have is that they don't understand what to take. Well, we took it upon ourselves to vet certain science backed supplements, which have Certificate of analysis so that I know what affects people. So every time somebody comes into my office, they go, Oh, I've been taking this and nothing happened. What have you been taking? Well, let, let me give you the brand that I've researched and then they start seeing some changes in their life. So what we want to do is change the landscape of our community so that people become healthier. So every month, somebody can get a box called the KB MD health box, which is, comes with a little love letter and explains everything just like this. And what we want to do is offer products that can change your life. So Michael, for you, what we're going to do is explain what this box is, okay? And what this does is we want to make sure that certain things, protect your gut, help your brain help you sleep better, and if I can get those three things done, you're going to be a better person, you're going to be able to like crazy studios, you're gonna be able to do your movies and all that stuff at next level stuff. So Ericsson go through each product this month, this is just this month. unboxing. So first product, no mystery are trying to we talked a lot about it on sale. So we talked about that otra until a sponsor of the show our Tron teal is my baby. We developed this specifically for one of the only products which has been proven to help with bloating. But not only that the polyphenols in it helped with anti aging and anti inflammatory processes. So we know that everybody needs to be on this, you're going to be seeing a lot of information about this, about these molecules in the future. We're cutting edge on this super proud to have this in the box. Retail Price Is $40 3995.Save a lot. And the cool thing that that letters you get to see how much yeah, sobasically what we're getting at here is that the total cost of this box is about $270. And you get this sent to your house every month where we free at a fraction of the cost of $147. Awesome.Also another core product megasporeThanks for probiotics, so megaspore probiotics, so this is very confusing for people everybody comes up and asked me and they go, Hey, I'm on a probiotic Which one should I be on? I'm going to tell you one to be on a spore based biotic and what that means is that the probiotics, almost all of them get destroyed in our digestive tract, right? Because everybody says oh, they're good for me, but they really never make it to where they should be. We met kid on Krishnan who is the CEO and scientist behind this, we actually did a whole podcast with him if you want to geek out and look at this super cool stuff, but spore based biotics Plus Ultra and teal are synergistic, and they actually help diversify your bacteria. Brilliant dude. Next one is upgraded nano magnesium. Oh my goodness. Alright, so nano magnesium. A lot of people don't realize that we are actually deficient in magnesium and it's needed for cellular health. The reason why I love magnesium, because the nano encapsulated here crosses the blood brain barrier, calms your brain and actually helps replace your cellular magnesium, but helps you calm down in your brain so it's used also to sort of wind down at the end of the day. Next one really cool looking bottle. This is the Zen blend. So, Zen blend Zen blend is a fantastic blend of scientifically proven mushrooms. To help do exactly to augment what the magnesium is doing Reishi core topsis and a few other natural cow is in a Zen blend that helps you wind down at the end of the day. And a recent Joe Rogan episode where he had What's his name? Oh, the mushroom expert. Paul Stamets, Paul Stamets was talking about these specific mushrooms and how we all need to be on this for mental health and neuro regeneration. It's abrilliant episode. Thisis a this combination alone is absolutely insane. Because I'm on it. My kids are on it, everybody's on it. This actually helps you calm down deal with the world. Help your gut already and you start regrowing neural regenerative processes.Next one, turmeric and ginger,turmeric and ginger. We know that turmeric has been a staple of a lot of functional medicine people people take tumeric all the time. What's unique about the omeka Organics brand that we made a deal with here is that it has ginger omma and a few other ingredients that actually work to increase your nitric oxide, which Veysel dilates and allows you to absorb the tumeric. The ginger allows gastric movement of this and the omma has been shown to actually improve insulin sensitivity. So no joke. We've actually found a company and every one of these companies, we've talked to their CEOs, we've looked at their certificate of analysis, and we know that it's backed by science. If I'm going to take something like this, I'm going to help my insulin sensitivity. I'm going to make sure it gets absorbed. So that's one of my favorite versions of that.I mean, if you're an athlete, this is looking like a pretty solid box.Or if you're type one diabetic like I am, Oh, looksawesome. Holy cow. Absolutely. You're type one diabetictype one diabetic for almost 40 years.Yo, you're doing a group Great job of controlling your insulin because, or your sugar I'm sorry, because Type One Diabetes is a tough disease, autoimmune disease where these products we are now seeing that autoimmune disease starts in the gut. So this is one of the things we're trying to do is help all kinds of people but autoimmunity is one of the things that we're trying to fix. Also, believe it or not, we still have threeproducts left whatthe hell we'redone, we are not finished. Live wise naturals.Alright, so live wise naturals. This is interesting because it's something that I really have not thought about until my practice. Almost everyone I check is vitamin D deficient. And now we figured out that being vitamin D deficient is related to coronary vascular disease, dementia and autoimmune disease. Yeah, yeah. So all my Crohn's and colitis patients, all my ulcerative colitis patients, they all would I always check vitamin D and I always make sure We're up on that and the reason why is because we live in a society now where we put sunscreen on everything we are indoors. We've got fake lighting going on right now and we probably just don't get enough sun and in our diet we're not getting the proper ingredients that are there. So almost everyone is vitamin D deficient.The next one I believe is straight from New Zealand The Balm of Gilead manuka honey stickAlright, so this is the one I've been waiting for. And here's why. Alright, so manuka honey has many medicinal properties. But I put this in the box this month because we're heading into the winter months. You can see on my lips I am chat chat chat. So I've been waiting for this one so I can do the rest of the show. Because he's applying it is literally I'm applying it to my lips right now. Because manuka honey, this is straight out of New Zealand and you'll never be able to find something like this here with it actually has real stuff. Remember when you get on and you start looking at Walmart and cheap things. You get what you pay for bottom line, like lighting,green screen effects and whatever. You know a cool thing is if you order from us and get a kBm D health box, every single stick of manuka honey is applied to Dr. Brown's lips first.Yesthat is my signature. It's like welcome back this onethat is not true that is a true freshman who got me got a seal on it and everything but the whole thing about manuka honey is it actually has a tremendous medicinal properties. This is actually a vegan version, grass fed all this other things you know, I said these grass, grass fed vegan vegetablesno but it's the distro and take a look at it. It's it's fantastic stuff.The next one I'm going to go ahead and kind of hijack it because there is my green pills, which is awesome. If you're interested in having healthy products around Your home. My green fills is an all natural laundry detergent refillable laundry wash. So if you don't want to have more waste, you can order mail order from my Greenfield. And in your box you can have your very first container sent to you with laundry wash. And the cool thing is is whenever you need more wash, they just send you just this packet. You save this you just add water in our house Murray subscribe to my green pills almost two years ago. Kids love it. Your clothes smell clean and fresh. That also comes with a rinse. It's it's a beautiful thing. You save water you save a waste, and you basically save the environment we're on a septic system is this basically protects everything that we have.So two quick things. Number one, I'm probably wrong on that particular maneuver being vegan. I don't think it is vegan. I think it's a tallow grass fed tallow balm. So if you're vegan, it might not be Good for your butt or you want to use it, but that is my that's probably my misstep. But the most important thing is here with my green fells. We know this the CEO of his company, Mr. Stephen is out and the things he does for the world. He has the my angels. Oh, yeah. What is that? The guy, Stephen, I apologize if I screw up the name. But essentially, he uses proceeds from this company and two others that he runs. And what they do is they take some of their money, they have a charitable arm, and they specifically go out and find women who've been victims of the slave trade. they negotiate with their captors, release them and then give them employment. They don't just free them and say, well, you're free now go find your way. No, they they actually will hand so the dryer angels that you write to the function as an all natural fabric softener whenever you subscribe to my greenfields It's a beautiful program. Stephen is a huge philanthropist. And he is Yeah, he started his whole business when he had nothing with knowing that the first 10% of everything that he earned would be going to charity. And now he is actually driving and he's the one that came to us and he's the one that's powering the member box. And that's why we're so honored to be involved with somebody who is so charitable, giving back and helping lives day to day but bottom line is the KVM D member box you if you take this, this is what I take every single day. The manuka honey will probably change out when it comes springtime, we'll find something more spring related. Eventually we're going to get to a point where we're going to have the perfect mix and change the health landscape so that people like Michael, that chronically deal with tight you know, issues like type one diabetes or anything, we can start making a difference in their lifekBm D health box calm that's kbd health box.com you can order your own health box this month. This is what's featured In the in this current month if you were to sign up, like and share, like and share not only the gut check project like it should just this episode to tell someone tell a family member or a friend, I want you to start living better. Check out what this box is about, save some money delivered to your home. You don't have to think about it. Everything's been vetted by position you, Dr. Brown, and essentially, let's, let's start off the year 2020 on the right foot, and wegot one last little bonus with that if you become a member of this. Oh, one other thing that I think makes a huge difference people's lives is CBD oil, yes. or full spectrum hemp. And if you become a member, you get steep, steep discounts. As a special gift to get our CBD oil, you get a code that allows you to get it dirt todirt cheap at KB MD health. And if you've been to the website in the last 11 days, 10 days, you've seen that the store is now fully operational. We had an incredible weekend. Thank you for everyone who participated in Black Friday, Cyber Monday. That was fun.Are we going to start with discounts there? I don't think so. I mean, we want we don't want cost to be a barrier to entry for people to have quality CBD. So one of the things that we want to do and our mission is not to just say, Oh, the whole reason for having this box is so that we can get these quality products out at an affordable level. We just want to make we just want to change lives. I want to be like Stephen as well, and I want to make a difference in the world. That's the primary goal here and I believe that we are all Endocannabinoid deficient. And next week, when we talk, I'm going to get way into this FDA statement where they're saying we don't know if CBD is safe. We don't know this and that. I've got all the data on this and it's really fascinating. You may even be a two part show, but that's going into that so keep in mind that everyone probably needs some CBD. We're going to give you the best quality CBD at the best price action fraction of the price right and all of these things delivered to your home so that we can bring health to your home. That's the first part of the show. Now the coolest part,our guests, our guests again, this is Michael Williams. Now Michael, you told me before we got started you have your own company called creative eco correct? I do I do based in McKinney, Texas, as to McKinney. So tell us a little bit about it.So creative echo is what I like to call it a micro agency. So I've been in video production for quite a while when we get this mic in the right place. Usually I have a wireless lavavideo guy. I'm a video guy. I'm not a radio guy. But Butwhy do I feel like he just started the show with I came down here to your really rinky dinkSo, yeah, I was sitting there working on the Star Wars set and somehow I ended up hereI like a car battery lights andSo you guys called me to come down to you know, kind of do some consulting because I do a production video production maneuver about 30 years and, you know, back 16 millimeter three quarter all the way through the digital age and now finally file based digital, you know, so I worked as a graphics operator for live news, hated that get type and then became what I call paint monkey I started doing paint graphics and you know, animation doubler paint system, which is eons old, and then got my first Mac and 1988 I think it was the one yeah, it was it was a two X and actually was doing non compressed video in and out of the Mac in 1988 frame by frame, but it was not compressed. Is that still floppy disk and just as it didn't have floppy disk, okay. Yeah, the three and a half floppies. And you know, scuzzy to Loud chattering thing but and then hooked up to a regular tape deck and broadcast tape deck and we go out frame by frame by frame by frame and I was out putting animation from agencies you know all over the US getting them to tape sending them their video tape so they go into video production post production and actually cut their animation into their spot or whatever they were doing. Sure. So you know I did that for a while and then started my company when I got that Mac I was in post production at the time doing the paint workto back you up a little bit. Were you educated in this at that time?Yeah, I actually have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in video and film production andso this is so they actually had that degree were there you were there really hard on the back and all that.We didn't have Mac I mean the Lisa was out when I was in college but you know we did they were dedicated systems and you know, for very good, butwhat is the lead? I mean, I feel likeLisa is like one of the first production max that hit the market. Okay, and then you get the bat classic the big square box in the two X, you know, it was about this big that all heavies about anchor and you know I had a one gigabyte hard drive and my system had eight megabytes of RAM. So that was awesome back thenI'll just slow Yep,yeah but i mean i'm sure then it was fastthen it was it was state of the art there's only a couple of these in the country you know with a new VISTA card in it and being able to pull in component video non compressed. So it was a lot of fun. And so you know, I've been in production for quite a while and now I have the what I call the micro agency because I've been given away creative I'm a creative at heart. I'm technical by necessity, but I have a you know dichotomy every morning I wake up and which brain is going to win, you know, the creative side, the left to the right side, you know, and I can set up roll anything technically just about any piece of equipment in production. And then on the other side of the camera and then produce something fun and creative and you know, meaningful that, you know, tells a story. Sowhen you're doing the productive side, does the creative side start kicking and regrow, I see where this is going to end up.And without a doubt, I mean, I never lose sight of the creative, you know, the creative vision. And you just technically you want to learn how to augment that vision and make it better, you know, and tell the story better. Nobody's gonna do effects. If it's not telling the story, you hope it's not helping tell the story. So it's like you'rea director of a movie every single time you do any ad roll anything,pretty much. So I didn't mean to pop that there. But yeah, so I will step in as a producer, a director. I'll get behind the camera as a director of photography, and then I'll pull the footage and avid an added for about 30 years and do all of my cutting, and then do some of the compositing there or jump in After Effects, do some multi layer compositing and turn it out to the audio design. And push it out encoded and away we go. So that's on the production side of things I do a lot of live streaming will go into corporate places and we'll set up set up a multi camera and live switch with video roles, you know audio stingers music I mean a full production and what live switch it and away we go.So you said that you had if I understood you correctly back when you were in the in the early stages of before you started creative eco You said you did live news.I worked at Fox News that's where I was first hired out of college was it channel was a channel four thenit was actually down in Houston. Oh down in Houston. Okay, what's a tale 26 Okay, hey, okay. Alrighty. So I'm just kind of curious, leading to what you just said that you've done on the creative side from doing the lighting and seeing the vision. What did you not like about doing live news compared to now doing a full creative production what was what were the limitations and doing a live news broadcast compared to thisalive news by Cast, everybody has a single position and you're an expert, that single position, you know, and it takes a crew, you know of people, obviously your director, your technical director, your producer, your camera guys, your audio guys, your graphics guys, and you know, all of the research that then goes on way before that and leads into it.I mean,I do a lot of different things and I, you know, I get bored easy. So if I'm sitting on a camera, I'm gonna sneeze, you know, if it's multiple days, day in, day out. So I like to jump around and learn and I've been learning for 30 years and you know that that was why I got out alive is plus I can't type fast so and I was a Cairo operator, which was doing the live CDs, you know, that show up right here in the lower thirds. But it just wasn't creative enough. And Funny enough, it was the same format, the same grind, just different content. And I like to change things up a bit and have some fun.So let's see the reason why I was asking that questions. It seems to me that what you did is the evolution of where everyone is intuitively going to get their information. Now, when I was growing up, everybody watched the news. My parents watched the news in it. I don't really know anybody who really watches traditional news like they used to certainly not in the same numbers, certainly not by by percentage or capital, right. So you left the stodginess in the in the like you sent me is almost sound like you were describing a sterile environment for the way things were represented in now you're creative in what you want to do. podcast, people turn to podcasts more than they do traditional new shows. It's it's really interesting that that was what you just did, intuitively, on your own. That's what everyone's doing.Exactly. And it's interesting because this this kind of shows the level of knowledge it's actually required to do something at the level that you're now doing things. So you have all these people that want to do YouTube videos, you have all these people want to do things we brought you in today, and you start looking at the studio and You just went, Okay. So this is why it doesn't look as good as it should. And you started going into such detailed analysis, which is so cool, because really what I want this show to be, is let's talk about the technical aspects because a lot of people want to say, Oh, I want to have my kitchen show for even my prank, hundred audience, whatever. So let's start breaking this down a little bit. Let's start looking at what we're dealing with here, what you changed up and the simple changes that you made for the lighting.Okay, so when I came in, and of course, we're using what we have. And we've got some LED lights, we've got four LED panels, they they're probably about 400 LEDs at that at 300. Looking at them, LEDs per unit.So before we get into that, let's just back up a little bit. Remember, Eric and I, we came from spoonie studio that was all set up. And we had so much fun doing that we got such great feedback from everybody. We're like, let's just keep going but it's been Eric and I tried to do this and Well you know what maybe we should bring in somebody like Michael who actually kind of knows and so he came in and looked at what we have and okay. The greatest thing you said was let's let's work with what you got.I mean anybody can set up a studio you know he got he got a budget man, you got a real budget you can get, you know, real life real cameras, you know, you guys have great mics obviously. But, you know, on a budget, you can still set up a pretty professional looking studio. You know, if you don't have the money, the hundred hundred 50 bucks per light, sure for the LEDs. You can go to Home Depot, get a lighters, a Pinterest lighting kit, you know the little aluminum with a little clip on and then get a compact fluorescent daylight. That's the keys. You want it to be the same color temperature and 56 K or daylight is what you want. Otherwise, you're gonna look orange, and you know what's the balance of that? But you get one of those bulbs, the brightest one they have you put it in there and get two or three of those, light it up and you can do that for 3040 box you know,so if I'm a so if I'm somebody that is starting out with my podcast, or I want to be a YouTuber I want to describe something by can go to Home Depot and you're saying Say that one more time it's 56 K.So what you want to look for is your 56 K is 5600 degrees Kelvin, which is the light temperature of which sunlight is roughly a shade is a little bit lower. And then you go all the way down to the old school, the amber looking lights, you know, your mom and dad's lights as they're watching the news on live TV. Nobody's using but those are, you know, either tungsten or incandescent, but burns at a much lower temperature and it's warmer, brighter, the light, the more blue or white It is so and you can produce in any light temperature as long as they're all the same. If you mix it up then one has color orange or red one parts can be blue, like we set up in here and tuckson and we open the window blue lights going to come inReno is the interesting thing that he did. I mean, you gave us credit for thinking about backloading. That's pretty much where amount of your knowledge guessing knowledge stop. And then immediately you got you started drawing diagrams about how you're going to make light angles cross and cross each other to even out. Right. Sothe issue we had here is one of real estate, its space sure we don't have the space that we need to, you know, create a nice, your piece of trust or something to hang our lights evenly at the same distance from the green screen for the background. So we had to go to the corners and then light across and to get it as flat as possible so that the green goes away and whatever you want goes there. So we cross the lights and it evens it out a little bit. And there's still some hot spots, we spent maybe less than an hour You know, coming in and looking around and say, Okay, let's make this work. And you know, it looks pretty good. There's a couple of hot spots, but for the most part, that Greedo key out one click, and you put whatever you want back there.It's pretty sweet it's it's really cool and I think it's pretty sweet when he came in so so where do you guys train at I'm like I'm a button doctoroh boy calls his wife says honey I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a little later and I thoughtI was about so when I leave herewhy why this fieldmy wife asked me that every day because it is not a nine to five job you know we get up at the crack of dawn we drive to a location we set up in we bring the truck all the stuff to set up and then we film all day and you know of course golden hour is you know, really our right after sunrise and you know, the hour right before sunset. That's the best lighting of your shooting outside. So we're shooting from you know, dawn to dusk, and then we gotta break everything down and pack it up and drive back so not a nine to five my wife's like, could you just be you know, a dentist or a CPA or something stay home. Yeah, Ithere's Dennis and CPAs going. That's pretty much myYeah, so, butI'm trying to think of jobs now that like are just, oh crna That's it. That's the one job.But it's a lot of fun and and I tell people, you know, whenever they ask, you know, why do you through a six I haven't worked a day in my life. You know, I have so much fun. I love what I do. It's different every day. The topics are different, you know, I'm worrying about you know, gut check and you know, and that's important to me being a type one diabetic, you know, it's like, everything is based on metabolism and you know, you can't metabolize anything if your guts not working right so you know, it's your I go hang out with a helicopter and film you know, do air to air filming or climb up 200 feet on the tower and 200 feet out on your big crane and, and then heights. No, no, I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie. Oh, and then clip in and lean back and a camera and film The guy talking to me who's out on the Yeah would be fun. That was a lot of fun. And so I never know what I'm going to be filmingso you actually don't actually carry the cameras and stuff. Are you directing it? Are you are youIt depends.Are you that on wall guy thatNetflixsat there and I actuallyI can't sit idle crew I drive him crazy because I hire crew and then I go do it and butit's like you're hiring them to come watch you.I always admired the people that got the camera shot more than the person doing it. You watch Bear Grylls do his stuff.Yeah,climbs trip just like there's somebody up there already filming you. That'sfine. Bad is bad. Yeah.Or they're doing the terrain like down a steep mountain where there's where there's snow ski, and you gotsomebody else don't even have poll.Exactly the real hero to everything is The person that gets the shotyeah definitely camera man or you know the unsung heroes of productionyeah get to the bottom of the run these posing and you look at the camera guys missing a leg shotI love you.But yeah, like I said I started out as a graphics operator I thought I wanted to be a digital artist you know, I wanted to be an artist some sort and when I went into college, I want to be a starving artist. So I got a technical background and then started editing and fell in love with editing because that's where the story is really told you can have horrible footage and a great editor and come out with something that's pretty darn good. And you got great footage and a horrible editor and it comes out like crap that has no job.So the editing, I actually so I downloaded Final Cut Pro 10 you know to try and do some stuff with ABS and with zero training and oh my gosh, like all things it is it's so frustrating and You just you just get immediate humility. Anytime that I try and do anything that somebody else is really good at and you're like, oh, wow, I know what I can do. I can do a rectal, really good. But beyond that now I don't know.Yeah, well, I mean, it gives you tired head you look at it and then after a while you get frustrated because it you it's not nearly as intuitive as you want it to be. Right. Right.And not not right away anyway. Yeah, I mean, there is a deep learning curve on any editing software. Yeah, it's gotten so much easier. It wasn't a past.Yeah, what you're talking about it with the equipment you were using and what they're able to do. I was thinking about this when you were saying that I'm thinking of movies now that I watch. I was like, Wow, those graphic effects can Assad and you realize they're pretty amazing for the equipment that they had?Oh, yeah,a lot of those without an optically you know, with film up until you see, you know, digital was there but not for film quality. And do you know you could get on a flame or fire your discrete logic big system you have the size of refrigerator the computers and onyx in get all in stock frame by frame but you get up to K images. Now we you know take it off a micro SD card drop it in a way we go, you know, a lot has changed and it's got a lot a lot higher resolution and a lot smaller form factor so makes you know, your creative vision easier to to maintain and keep focused on instead of having to worry about too much of the year. You remember Terminator?Oh, yeah. That was a huge fan favorite for my my friends and I growing up was Terminator one. And then when finally Terminator two came out with the T 1000. And it became it was already animated. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I didn't even know what to think. I remember seeing that and looking back at Terminator one saying I love Terminator one, but I don't know what this is.And this is amazing. That is a great question. So as somebody who's an expert that has been from the beginning and you you continue to evolve Which is also very fascinating to me because I would think that a lot of your people that were doing it with you back in the day have probably gone on to different fields. You're probably one of the few people that has stuck with the industry for 30 years and grown with the technology.Yeah, there's, there's more of a thing you might think but you know, a lot of people will move on or just, you know, move into something different. But, you know, technology is definitely definitely changing. You've got to keep up with it. Are you going to get lost?So as a as an editor, what movie when I asked you what is your favorite movie that you look at and you go from a technical aspect? This is brilliant.Well, there's I don't have one favorite movie.But there are there are several if you want to go back to one of the classics, you know, Citizen Kane, I mean, look at the the editing they did the opening scene where they push through a window. How the heck did they do that back then, you know, it's like you know, there's some music videos out there that are single shots. No editing just a single shot the whole time real time Yeah. It's I think was Madonna was the first one to do that. And of course you know Guy Ritchieall that's rise,you know her bow at the time and you know, so he was doing some cutting edge stuff, but I don't I don't know don't quote me that he actually directed that but i would assume so butwas the movie I'm sorry to interrupt but what was the movie that had? Was it the Birdman or something that was like no or yes for being it had something special about the way that they filmed it. Michael Keaton MichaelKeaton I'm not real familiar with the verb I didn't watch rightyeah, I think it was one take I think it was one stream or so I don't remember those shots I'm only didn't showthe whole movie but yeah, they really kind of embedded that and you know, it's fun to be able to tell the story and not have to cut away you know, to be able to just because we don't cut we don't blink and Okay, another shot. Yeah, we turn our heads we move. We will as Humans that's more natural for us to see the world that way. So it's, it's interesting that people are finally getting back to the way that human eye perceives reality rather than forcing your brain to take the story you want them to you. So you're cutting away to something you want them to see rather than turning and showing them you know, the way you would normally turn with your head or something like that.Well, what's also fascinating about this is because of the YouTube phenomenon, the the non commercialize the non the non perfected type videos like our podcast,yeah. Well, they're there. They can be more authentic. They're raw.Yeah, they're real and they're not overproduced. Which you know, you can over produce things very easily.Okay, so that brings up a different point. So with your production company, you probably run into all different types of different requests from customers of all different hills. High End corporate, low end a I just want to make a quick video. Is it hard to explain Blame to the over corporatize customer, hey, you really need to inject some personality here. Whether or not they take your advice could be completely different situation. But do you find that that's that's difficult to do even in today's world where that seems to be what people readwithout a doubt, you know, it's all based on their personality, and it's not something they do all the time. They're not a TV personality. They're not a radio personality. They're a CEO of a tech corporation or, you know, whatever, and you gotta pull the stick out. Sometimes, you know, you being that kind of doctor, you got to pull that stick out and let them loosen up. I don't usesticks in my job. everybody listening, please don't worry that I'm gonna use a stick.You're pulling out little little loosen up a little bit. Yeah, that'snever loosens everybody up when you go to sleep.But, you know, you got to get them loosened up and you got to get them to forget about the camera and the environment and then just talk to them. You know, I have You know, CEOs will come in, they'll have a script and they're, they're ready to just regurgitate that script, like, okay, let's read through it. And I'm like, do you know teleprompter here, you know, what's that? Like? Okay, well read through the script one more time. And we're gonna put down. It's like, No, no, no, no freak out like, no, we're just going to talk about it. I'm going to ask you questions, and you're going to respond. And we're going to get the real story, not, you know, something that's been too legal that we have to go through the legal later. But, you know, at least it's from the heart. And it's real. It's authentic.We were, I've, like we were talking about before Eric, Eric's father. Well, but I didn't actually tell you about this. But the reason why Eric is so good at sound is because his dad was actually involved in radio most of his life. And so Eric was around this and enjoyed it. And his dad taught him and he was a musician and Eric's a musician. And tell me about that real quick. Oh, yeah. I mean, that my dadwas, he was grew up in Gainesville. And my dad when I was by the time I was born, he was the sports Director for the small kgs radio station which is still there today. And he also was a DJ out there at the radio station. He had plenty of friends all throughout DFW there were also in radio, dad played a self taught piano, drums, bass guitar, and he just, he was a true audio file without ever using the word. I mean, he's loved it. And so whenever he would toy around and tinker with stuff and mix with sounds, I just thought it was cool. Didn't have any idea. I was getting an education on it. And then within this opportunity presented itself and there's a lot of fun. So that's something when you when you say things that you never really worked a day in your life playing around with stuff like this, to me is just, it's fun. It's sick people that say like to tinker and this is just Yeah,and I get to do it. You know, just about every day. It is a lot of fun. And there's a lot of hard work that goes all ofus. All of us are not working but one of us is getting paid.That's right as consultantButso you know, technology has really enabled anybody to, you know, kind of pick up a camera and, you know, do a webcast or podcast or you know, even you know, cut it and don't do it live, you know, you can post it later.So we, we've got a lot of different experts that they can talk to to help us both with the podcast and in a whole bunch of different facets. So one of the people that helps us with this show Now, of course, there's Ron Phillips, who's been on the show before. And then Paul Rogers is the guy that helps us cut and basically create promos, all the stuff that we're not any good at. And Paul does a fantastic job. He's really been helping give us some different guidance on how to move through topics and sometimes you don't stick to it all the way but we're trying to and but Paul is actually helping put together a package for a small city in North Texas to help, record and transmit their city council meeting. They were ready to throw down something like $100,000 on equipment and Paul's like, okay, you could also save $90,000 and let me help you with that. And it's amazing because you're right, the technology really is not that inaccessible anymore. No, not at all. And it's crazy because people just want to spend the money thinking they're getting the best andbrightest and it doesn't want that. So if I am a I'm an up and coming YouTuber, because I saw this fantastic stat where it's like Generation Y like 30% of the kids want to be youtubers isthere I want to be YouTube famous or famous, Snapchat famous or you know, whatever the whatever. Snapchat so I guess waning a little bit but Tick Tock or whatever knocking whatever is all the rage down, which is musically rehashed, I think butso it's it's fascinating because Eric's Eric's kids gage and Mac actually were taking classes during high school on Final Cut Pro Which, which is what the class that his high school chose to do. And so now kids are coming out and they're learning this kind of thing. So as an expert seeing all of it, I'm a, I'm a dad. My kid is graduating, they've kind of done pretty well with playing around with different things. I want to give them a graduation present, which would be an audio and video package. Let's say less than $2,000 What would you dothe laptop in that or no, no, no, no, they'vealready already got a laptopand something you know fairly. This just so that you can sitthere like I'm thinking of gates. I'm thinking of the dangerous off to college. He's done a great job. They've got a they've got their the floaty thing, what's the drone?So they've got it. So theonly thing would be a balloon. Yeahin my generation anything we got off the ground was a floating thingthat floated a flag that says that's a fly dad it floats defies gravity to defies gravity. So whether you're a drone or a fly, right, throw a rock for all the same. So if I'm going to sit there and give a graduation present, we got Christmas coming up and you say, Listen, my child's really into this. They're kind of doing some small YouTube videos and stuff like that. Where are what would I give them like as a package gift, and I know I'm putting you on the spot here. But like if you didn't get allyour children, I would get a good either DSLR or you know, the new mirrorless digital cameras are awesome. And make sure it's you can change out the lens in that way you can grow into it. My personal favorite, Michael pop and again,my production never never actually showed up. Somy personal favorite would be At this point in time yo cannon five D but that's more expensive the body on that you know three grand oh but you can get something I mean they shot house several episodes of house you know with the Canon five D and we can put them in places that you can't put the other cameras here the bigoh that makes sense so that like you got this you can come in hereand it's just it's just a great format you know of course I'm a Canon guy I've always loved canon, more so than Sony but Sony makes a great product says Panasonic you know I've got a Panasonic camera that I use for you know EMG production but we get something that if you can has an interchangeable lens DSLR type and they're gonna become cheaper because the mirrorless are out. And so maybe a wide angle or fixed 50 lens. And my favorite lens on the five D is my 7200 L series beautiful lands you get that nice soft that the field gorgeous lands. You know, but again that's a more expensive plans.No no fortunately we're sponsored by all these products you're talking about. Yes. Yeah.So just to recap so I would get you know a the best DSLR you can afford with you know, a decent lens and you can get one that is wide enough that has a zoom a little bit so you can zoom in and get different focal length. A good microphone. And you know, you could get aWhat do you say good microphone attached to the camera or you mean a lapel micon what they're doing, you know, for a podcast, you know, these are great studio mics. If you're out in the field. You might want to get a wireless love or a wire, you know, boom or shotgun mic. You use different mics for different environments for different reasons. But just get road makes a great cheap mic that will hit on the on the hot shoe, plug right in the mini and it's not bad. It's a shotgun mic right on top of the camera. Very, very affordable. And then you know, maybe a light kit depending on what they're doing. They may not Don't need it but lights you know, it's all reflecting light, you don't have light it's going to reflect nothing and you're not gonna see any more black so you gotta have enough light and as we found out earlier that was your issue with your green screens earlier is that you didn't have enough light on the green and you know that wasn't enough. I guess Chroma difference. So isso is there are there are there light kits that come with multiple lights and you can do different things.Oh yeah. And you know, LEDs are wonderful. Now we didn't have the luxury of using LEDs. When I was coming up in production but LEDs, you know, it's a small form factor. It's super bright, you know, you can even go to Walmart or Home Depot or any Batteries Plus actually has some great LED panels that are battery powered. And you get a little skinny arm which is you know, a quarter 20 thread that can go in the hot shoe or you know on the camera or clamp on and you can put the light up here and you got to Gun light. very affordably.Even. That is so cool because if the the number of lights that we have in here right now to get this amount of light back 20 years ago, we would be sweating.Yes. Oh, without a doubt. Yeah, I mean it would be incredibly hot in here if it weren't because of the heat on the I'm sweatingby the way. Sowhat is what you say? Yeah, it would be worseYeah, I refused to like you know, everybody raise your hand like no no way.Well, and then wait, final thing. So now Okay, so as a dad,graduation gift is the expensive camera. You talk to the uncle that says Look, this is this is kind of thing we're dealing with. He's graduating. Why don't you do the lights? Why don't you know aunt Karen, you do the mic. And then what are we gonna do to video edit it.So there are some good software's out there. You can get some cheap, almost free software. out there some of you know, but you get what you pay for. Probably I would say the best bang for the buck because you get a whole suite would be the Creative Cloud, you know, just do the Adobe Suite, get the production bundle so that you get Premiere Pro, which is a great editing software, you get after effects, you get Photoshop, you get Illustrator. I mean, depending on how much you want to pay per month, you can get the whole suite and do whatever you want. You know, they've got you know, soundbooth they've got, you know, all kinds of different tools, and you're paying like 59 bucks a month or 50 bucks a month for that. That would be the best but to go out and buy something you know, I'm an avid guy, Bill and Avid Media Composer. It used to be $100,000 on a system and then it came down to the price point recently and it was like two grand for the software and they just recently have gone back to The same model Adobe is with a monthly subscription is about 30 bucks a month as well okay? But there are some out of the box stuff depending on your Mac or PC. But the main thing you want to look for, you know is your edit interface you don't want to think about what you're doing you want to cut a story and just kind of have it the you know, just very natural you know, the whole way that the layout is the way you know the premiere let's see your change your your edit desktop, you know, avid wants to change your desktop. I think you leave had some real super cheap stuff, these come with the DVD stuff, and you can cut on that even you know, the iMovie you know, on a Mac, you can do some things there. Certainly from the presets because everybody uses them and you know, my my opinion over use presets and overused graphics just because you think they're cool is kind ofcheapens it thinking what kind of it doesn't have to be graduation gift. I think we kind of a cool thing. It is Your children are going to be using this technology anyways, your children are looking at YouTube, they're already interfacing with this, they're already looking at this, then if you give them the ability to tell the stories that they want to tell, then you can start directing. Hey, we're going so and so's getting married. Why don't you cut some disco and bring your iPhone, just cut some film and then you can edit it, you have the equipment, bring the bring your road might bring your light, then you can start having a documentation of whatever you want, in a really cool way because everything that I have right now is just snippets from from the phone. Right and, and I and I have all these old I mean, I evolved very quickly when things started changing. I've got little mini cams, I got HD, whatever DVDs, and yet I've got, as Jim gaffigan says it's very funny. He does a whole set on. It's like we don't have photographs anymore. We just have hard drives, like Well, there's my hard drive from Disney World. And that's my Wedding harddrive and that that's where we're at right now. I'm like oh, but if you can convert things to little snippets and movies this is the two minute thing because if you're good at it and fast at it when you give a gift like this to a family member that actually uses it yeah you're buying memories.Oh yeah. Without without a doubt and most of us you know, we you know, probably probably about your age but grew up in the era where you know, is either film or is video Well I know we'rethe same age because the jokes I'm saying you're theso I mean, Christmas morning we wake up and you know, dad would flip on the super eight boom and then the lights come on. Boom. And we're like blind we're getting a headlights Yeah, we'll do something like I can't see any turn up lighting see spots for an hour? Yeah, yeah. Now you know, it's like you can you can if you get the footage and you never use these ever watch it you know it was on film you got to develop it and it's at the in the middle can for years and which is our family and recently a product of five years ago, maybe 10 years ago, digitized everything from my parents 50th color to music and, you know, did one, you know, a little segment for each of my siblings and for myself and then you started my parents and then you know, went through the whole family and all the way through there, you know, from literally black and white shot in the 50s on film, all the way through, you know, digital, almost so he was on that's cool. Hey, you know, and it was fun. It was a lot of fun took forever, never discount how long it will take to edit especially a project like that.Oh my goodness, a trust me that's that's the thing. That's why learning how to edit it. edit anything in a rapid way is the key. When you sit down to about the equipment when you sit there and say the lighting and everything. That's what everybody focuses on. When everything shuts down, and it's on your computer and you start looking at it. Eric has watched me and Paul will laugh at this who's who's helped me with through this I didn't realize that there's a lag when it comes to the way that we're recording and the audio and I will sit here for an hour and try and move a soundbite a millisecond so it matches so it doesn't look like an old kung fu movie right where Eric and I are talking like I'm telling you that wowyeah there's I mean depending on how you record and you know, you're recording you know, from your camera and you're running it into your laptop and running it through software and then it's running and running the file to your hard drive. Of course there's going to be some latency there you know, there's going to be it's not going to be real time there might be some audio drift depending on how you're recording and how your format is set up.So this was the but when when he first showed up and started talking like this, he's like, Oh, I can see what's going on right here. You can have a little bit light drag over here. We need to change this in this room have audio drifted, you can have lighting I just went different language. Yeah, totally different language you have a you have a skill set. That is unbelievable. And I love that you've kept this passion for over 30 years you said yeah for over 30 years and I've thank you so much for coming here and helping us set this up and hopefully be easier for Paul to post edit this and yeahyeah you probably got some helpso we can you know we set up pretty quickly and I didn't have time to tweak but it should be a lot better than it was and of course we do have some environmental issues but yeah, spaceyou knew where you were in trouble I was like okay, where are the makeup people?Yeah, yeah I always carry in makeup mean it's huge because if you're sweating and shiny I mean nobody wants to listen to you you know you're just You look like a shifty you know sweating bullets and you're like nobody's gonna believe so get some you know some corn silk so just a little powder and not knowwhat's up. Go check projects that shifty as Dr.Careful,little power. I mean little things like that go a long way and little cheaplittle powder goes a long way. We tried that once with Eric and it all got cut his upper upper mustache here and I'm like, Eric, you don't look like you were trying to hell and then I inhaled I caught it all out.A little powder. But what's the beard? Right? That's right.Well, Michael, thank you so much, Robin. My pleasure. This was this is only our 25th episode here on gut check project. But each episode, I feel like we're getting stronger. And now that we've, unfortunately had to try to build her own studio. We're we're learningYeah, and let's just go ahead and recap here. So what I think we learned what I got out of this episode number one is that we don't know a whole lot about there's experts in this field. But Michael, what I took away from this is is that you just gave a recipe for every father or mother to say my child likes to watch this. Now have a box that I can say, look, pull away from the computer, walk out into the world and do it yourself. Yes, start interacting with people again. Because that's one of the biggest things as we automate everything, and we isolate ourselves. It just leads to more and more of that depression and anxiety. And even though wherever, you know, even my children, they don't watch TV, but but though they have the YouTube people they watch and they've turned me on to some great YouTube people that I love some science stuff that I just geek out on, like, holy cow, and and of course, I sit there and I don't just watch it. But Lucas looks at me. He's like, isn't that cool? I was like, how did he edit?Yeah,I just look at that. Go. What? How did you get that angle? How did they zoom inlike that? That's crazy. Man. That's a cool point, though, too, because the technology and YouTube and these platforms aren't going anywhere. So what basically what you just said what Michael is just described on how to do it with that recipe is OK, so the technologies now going anywhere, how can I help my kids and my family members get back into being a human withback into being a human with this technology? One great way to do it is to put a mic in front of somebody and say, Michael, tell me about yourself.Give me Give me your story, your story. And you know, the great thing is that, you know, they're used to being in front of a laptop, and they've got this digital world. Well, they've got their little digital security blanket and a camera, you know, they that's theirdigital security behind so cool. It's so cool. You can sit there, give a gift to your introverted child and say, Look, you're really good at this. You don't even have that. People like being on camera. Yeah. So you can take somebody and say you're behind the camera, you're protected. Ask a question. People like to tell their story. And when you start engaging like that, then you can turn that story and you can make them look like a hero after editing and go back to them and say, here you go. Yeah, this is your story. You become the hero you control. What's going on, and you now have the ability to interact with people, people come to you and go, that was so cool what you did. And now as a parent, if your child is being a little introverted and stuff, you can sit there and teach them how to come out of their shell with a camera.Yeah. And it inspires creativity, you know, have fun thing to do is we gave my daughter I think she at the time was like 10 or 11. If we gave her my my five D, and she said, just go film some stuff. Let's have some fun. And she took around the house and shot all kinds of random weird stuff. And she's like, well, I want to make a perfume commercial. Perfect. Yeah, we didn't have Johnny Depp but we had this random thing. And it was it was awesome. Together 32nd spot and there's a lot of fun to see inside your kids brains. When you're not looking. You know, it's like what's going on in there. I had a lot of fun. That's cool.My son a few years ago had to do a commercial and you can do it like either written or recorded or whatever. And I came home and they showed me He got my daughter involved, my wife involved they wrote a whole script. And I just came home to watch the end product which was unedited. But it was so funny to watch that and so and it was so well done for an iPhone just right, right clip clip clip, quick time put it together. I was so proud of that. And I just looked at I was like, that is a family moment. Everybody got involved. It was cool. But almost family moment I had to work so that they could afford to do that. That's a whole separate that's pretty much the theme of my life.I understand that.But that man, I like that. I like the whole idea that we just came up with right here. Yeah, you know, engage the put everybody so the Joe Rogan recent podcast with Joe Stanek was it? Paul? Paul Stamets Paul Stamets. So it's all about mushrooms and Sol Simon and a few other things. If you don't know anything about that listen to extremely wild. But he said the coolest thing ever, which was, the thing is, is that we are in a competitive world. And if everyone became a little bit more enlightened, a little bit more accepting and a little bit more willing to learn, then we would grow exponentially as a race, as opposed to what we're doing now, which is I'm trying to beat you to the next hurdle, right? But I try $10 think of where we could grow exponentially if everyone had the ability to go you're a really cool person. Let me pull out my digital journal and let let me learn about youknow, which which is well it is it is a digital journal, Colonel. So, one of the things I would recommend is you know, we shoot this and you know, you give to your kid they go to college. Whattime they gonow, my phoneThat's yours.I don't know howwe get this turned off. It's on silent.That's the weirdest thing. It sounds like it's coming through our sound system here. This weird does.Yeah, I've got nothing running here. Itis coming from here. That is so weird. That's awesome.Yeah. So the cool thing about video editing.What mostly happened is my wife got into my Spotify account and it started playing here on Spotify on at home or my daughter more likely into that. But what I was gonna say is that, you know, you could go off to college and you shoot all this footage and they're gonna run out of space, you know, so I would recommend you get a Cloud account of something and have them upload it because then you have access to it. If you give him a hard drive, you'll never see it.Yeah. Havethem upload it and you're paying for it. So say look, I'll archive it for you and then you've got access to that footage.Yeah and I think now we're just I've been finally finally got my foot my kids phones. We talked about that a couple episodes ago and you having unlimited storage now with the iCloud is Oh, yeah, dirt cheap. It's it's not it's like, I mean, it's just I don't know where it's all going. I don't know. I mean, I keep thinking that like SpaceX is going to go, we're hitting data, we can't get through it too many pictures, right and stand the whole cloud thing. Someday we're gonna look up we won't be able to see sunlight, right? Just gonna bea bunch of ones and zeros all over the sky. Right, right. We don't do anything about it. Well, I do know that you need to go. But we've had an awesome show here today. I do want to remind everybody to Like and share the gut check project. certainly appreciate everyone. The new website will launch at some point December we thought was gonna be before Thanksgiving, but that's not how websites go.And most importantly, we're one of the few places right Now that you can actually purchase CBD online, Greg has there's been, as everybody's probably noticed, they're popping up all over hard like in buildings. But the reason why is because we went through all the meticulous process to actually have the ability to sell a vetted, CBD full spectrum hemp product called kBm D health CBD that we've got Certificate of analysis, I see the clinical benefit with people. And we are giving tremendous discounts because we know people need it. This is much more about us helping people much like you, giving this kind of advice to help people to have great video editing. We want to make sure that everybody ultimately has a better life. That's what the gut check projects about. It's about trying to improve lives.Definitely don't forget to do you want to connect without drawn to it, you can go to love my tummy.com forward slash spoonie if you would like to learn more about the kBm the health marks go to KB MD health box.com or KB Md box.com. On the above take you there. If you'd like to connect with Michael Williams and creative Echo, is there a place to get rejected?You know, my go to creative echo.net and you can find out more about what I do and you can book an appointment or you can get my email or any other contact information. Sothat's also creative echo.net not calm, creative. echo.net connect with Michael Williams. Thank you so much for being a part of our 25th episode, like and share a gut check project. Thank you all very much. Once again,thank you.Thank you. I appreciate it. event.See y'all soon.

Leave a voicemail argument at 424-209-2071Email your contribution @ HBSLotR@gmail.comContribute songs for debate - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VzChiSmwmd5Jv88Vl52ld?Follow Greg Barris: @galimmimusVenmo Greg @ GregBarrisFollow Sean Keane @seankeaneVisit his website: Seankeanecomedy.comVenmo Sean @ llcoolseanFollow Richie Molyneux: @richiemolyneux@Marfatita on InstagramDEBATED IN THIS EPISODE:1. The Bee Gees"More Than A Woman" - written by Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb and Maurice Gibb - 1977“Music Video” from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy0rYUvn7ToLYRICS:Oh, girl Ive known you very wellIve seen you growing everydayI never really looked beforeBut now you take my breath away.Suddenly you're in my lifePart of everything I doYou got me working day and nightJust trying to keep a hold on you.Here in your arms I found my paradiseMy only chance for happinessAnd if I lose you now I think I would die.Oh say you'll always be my babyWe can make it shine, we can take foreverJust a minute at a time.More than a woman, more than a woman to meMore than a woman, more than a woman to meMore than a woman, oh, oh, oh.There are stories old and trueOf people so in love like you and meAnd I can see myselfLet history repeat itself.Reflecting how I feel for youThinking about those people thenI know that in a thousand yearsId fall in love with you again.This is the only way that we should flyThis is the only way to goAnd if I lose your love I know I would die.Oh say you'll always be my babyWe can make it shine, we can take foreverJust a minute at a time.More than a woman, more than a woman to meMore than a woman, more than a woman to meMore than a woman, oh, oh, oh. _______________________________________________________________2. Regulate - written by Warren G., Nate Dogg - 1994Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plPyJdXKIYWikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regulate_(song)Samples used:Young guns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5afnr_lZP-YBob James: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et5nOaW_mlsMichael Macdonald: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjqOsYRQI0oLYRICS:RegulatorsWe regulate any stealing of his propertyWe're damn good tooBut you can't be any geek off the streetGotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean. Earn your keep!Regulators! Mount up![G:]It was a clear black night, a clear white moonWarren G was on the streets, trying to consumeSome skirts for the eve, so I can get some phonesRolling in my ride, chilling all alone[Nate:]Just hit the east side of the LBCOn a mission trying to find Mr. Warren GSeen a car full of girls ain't no need to tweakAll you skirts know what's up with 213[G:]So I hooks a left on 21 and LewisSome brothers shooting dice so I said "Let's do this"I jumped out the ride, and said "What's up?"Some brothers pulled some gats so I said "I'm stuck."[Nate:]Since these girls peeping me I'mma glide and swerveThese hookers looking so hard they straight hit the curbOnto bigger better

"Think Carefully" by Pete Sanga #28Tagline: "How cancer and thoughts can change your world for the better"It is almost like we wait for something bad to happen to wake us up. For us to really take life serious and realise each day we lose, we will never gain again. Each second we spend not being grateful, happy or fulfilled is a second wasted. Yet when something bad happens, we can sometimes have a realisation that life is important, precious and beautiful.Pete Sanga shares his story of how cancer and controlling his thoughts has massively changed his life and future. He speaks of tangible tips we can all use and incorporate to live a life of happiness, gratitude and fulfilment without having to go through cancer like he did.A truly remarkable individual who gave off a beautiful energy and had an infectious aura about him. Someone much wiser than me with experience I was grateful to have received.Some key discussion points:Cancer being a giftThe importance of your thoughts.How to change your thoughts.Practical positive daily routines.Understanding that we control more of our life than we think.Age is nothing but a number.I urge you to listen to this all the way through and implement some practical steps and tips that you can do for FREE in 10 minutes or less a day to really help you move forward in your life. These tips and tricks aren't just for cancer survivors, or people who have overcome adversity. They can and should be important practices we all take on in our life to truly make the most of this short amount of time we have on this earth.Let's all start to find our voice today and write our own stories.Let's leave our mark on this earth before it's too late.Remember tomorrow never comes.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Pete Sanga:Amazon business Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sanga-Aromatherapy-oils-2383077878401459/Amazon businesss link: https://amzn.to/2xkLdXEFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pete.sanga YouTube transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren Deu a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren Deu what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of fine your voice myname is Aaron and as always I am thehost of the show so sitting herethinking before I released this podcastwhy is it that we always need somethingbad to happen in our lives for us toappreciate the good things or even thesmaller things the more beautiful thingsthat we often take for granted and maybethis is just a human trait but it'ssomething that I'm trying to get throughin this movement I find your voice isthat I want you guys to start livingright now and I want you to findsomething that fulfills you I want youto be happy I want to live in gratitudeyou see I put these stories out here foryou guys to listen to not to make youfeel miserable or to feel sad or startto cry I put these stories out there toshow you how lucky you are you see weare all very blessed and we're all verylucky if we choose to see it that wayyou see living in a moment of gratitudeis fantastic but living a day a week amonth a year in fact your whole life ingratitude that's just so much better andwhat I want you guys to do is to startto take on these tips that we'vementioned in this episode coming forwardbut then go back and listen to thepeople on this show who have sharedtheir story so bravely and so openly andhonestly and think about how your lifeis maybe better than their life in termsof you haven't had to suffer with canceryou haven't had to suffer with blindnessyou haven't had to be homeless forexample and then really start to look inyour own life and start to live withgratitude because that is the key yousee we're all chasing happinesshappiness is a numberone goal and it should be the number onegoal for all of us and through that wechase fulfilment as well and if you canget those two in line then you're gonnahave a fantastic life but what I don'twant you to do is to wait untilsomething bad happens I don't want youto have to experience cancer like ourguest today shares his experience and itwas actually cancer that actually gavehim his life back in almost now youcould see it he's loving his life and heopenly admits it as wellin this episode that it was cancer thatreally made him start to live again butI don't want none of us listening tothis show to have to go through cancerin order to start living because we cando it right now we can all go out thereand find our voice and really try andstart to write our own story sohopefully you guys enjoyed this episodeit was fantastic for me because it didexceed my expectations and if you do geta chance please do hit us up on socialmedia as well we are quite active anddon't forget if you get a chance as wellplease do share it with somebody else aswellto maybe inspire and motivate them to goout there and find their voice sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way I'd like to startthis show by welcoming Pete to the showand I want to thank Pete for taking timeout of his day today to come and sharehis story so Pete thank you for comingon to the show you know I'll come takeyou things like him and you're verywelcome and really appreciate it I thinkit's going to be useful for theiraudience to get to know a bit aboutyourselfso if you wouldn't mind if you can kindof give us like a summary take as longas you need in relation to the life ofPete for example tell us some of yourups tell us some of your dance and thenbasically what brings you here todayperfect no problem and hi audienceI'm glad you listen it is and well whyyou sort of story is I'm not amulti-millionaire or anything like thatfar from it but I live a verycomfortable life and it hasn't alwaysbeen like thatI mean I'm 53 years old so you canimagine when my upbringing from myparents how that was in a very strictupbringing we was always sort ofmonitored by our pens back in game dayswith the early days of very few Asiancommunity in the UK and they had to sortof build their reputation so we resortedvery close communitywe have been declawed close communityparents always took hold of what you hadto do days basically sort of had yourlife for yourselves in mahjong days andI was kind of rebellious with my dadbecause always always one that wanted todo my own thing the way I want to butcourse you have to have respect for yourparents and sort of listen to them aswellso I as I said Oh print being invadeit's a tight community Asian communityand as a site to sort of get older andgoing to school into sort of sixteenseventeen this is where I sort ofstarted to understand that you know Idon't want to follow the footsteps of myparents and Adorno follow the footstepsof my brothers and sisters and GauravUniversity or anything like that Ididn't want to be stuck behind a deskwhen that's what my parents wanted to beI was more inclined to sort of lookingto I used to see it market and I thinkwow I want to do that I don't want to dothat and you know that's how my thoughtswere and so as I got to about 16 17 Istarted kind of rebelled against what myparents wanted and but again same thingyou know you have to have some elementof respect for your pen so I stillfollowed them and I'll put till the agessort of 21 ish when I got married andand we then brought her family businessand and again we started working in thefamily business but it's not somethingthat I wanted it wasn't for me so eventhough I worked in there and putting thehours as long with my with my brothersand it's not something that I wanted todo and what really changed my mindor changed me was when I became ill whenit was about round about 25 and at thattime I had two children and one of themhere and well two boys and I had contactand sort of that's where that's whatreally changed my perspective about lifeand because when you fall into I mean ohno people about cancer and they've curedand they've come every but the initialshock of that was like wow you know Imean I remember sitting on the stagewith my wife and I'm telling my wife andI'm sitting there crying my eyes outthinking and your whole life goes byhere and especially when things likethat I mean nowadays you know they somany curious for so many diseases butwhen you're looking when you're goingback 20 odd years there was there wasn'tas many curious so you know you havethis flashback of your life and youthink wow I'm not gonna be here what'smy kids gonna do and all these thoughtsstart to run through your head and youknow and I remember sitting under stairsand said crying I like that and what dadcame in and he looked at this and hewent there what's the matter what youcrying for and at all my dad okay my hogand even though and he was sort ofstrong I could see sense that he it wasone of them things like wow you knowthis is happening to my son and sayingyou ever went through a treatment andchemotherapy and he was in and out ofhospital I lost a lot of weight and Iyou know sort of kind of lost confidenceas well because I was what I would saywas a greatly confident person but I wasquite confident in myself and I've lostall my confidence as well and my sistershe gave me a book which was there yourguardian angels and as a while I was inhospital I started to read this guide inangels thinking what's this about youknow guardian angels and you justtotally changed my life in the sense ofwe've just read good just reading thebook I thought wow this is there suchthing as this guardian angel is theresuch thing as a spiritual world andthat's why where my spirituality cameout and from there you should have sortof started to progress and as I cameonce I was out of hospital and had donemy chemotherapy and fetal healthy I knewthat I had to do my own thing my own wayand I wanted to be and how I canprogress it wasn't always easy becauseyou always you have this and how prettyyou have this education or you have thisyour your upbringing embedded into youyou see so then they're deep into yoursubconscious mind so they alwaysflop back out and you start to thinkwell should I should I or shouldn't Ibut I know I wanted to move away fromthe family and do my own thing and whichis sort of what I started to do gonnajust pause for a bit or we can jump inthere so there are a couple of things inrelation to that so you always knew froma very young age you mentioned like from1617 you were you're probably differentto your siblings yeah you want to dosomething different and I kind of Icould resonate with that myself so I wasforced in inverted commas to kind of gothrough the academic route because I wasvery I could pick up things very quicklyyeah I didn't want to do any of thatit was never my interest I always wantto kind of go against the grain I wantto be a boxer I wanted to do you cry Iwant to do all the stuff I said ontelevision but he has different stuffand there was an element that I supposesomewhere along the line I kind ofresented the decisions and I was havingto like make my parents happy rathermake myself happy fortunately for me Ididn't have to experience kind sir inorder to really be like okay now I needto just do what's done for me and itkind of seems like cancer was your kindof wake-up call a mass of thingdo you know what I have to look aftermyself yeah and put myself first and itwas it's quite emotional for me justthinking about that moment when you'resitting on the stairs and you and you'retelling your family is stuff I justthought this is just giving you a bookabout the guardian angel and stuff Ithink that's come probably a good timebecause I absolutely did you agree thatif that come it should give you thatbook yeah we'll probably thought once itchanges your perception of do you knowchange started to change the way I'llthink and I need all honesty when Istart to read the book and I started tosort of understand each chapter one at atime I thought wow you know this isamazing can this really be possiblecould you elaborate on something fromthat or something that you maybe do nowyeah of course yeah and so what I'velearnt from that book was of course itstarted to open other doors and otheravenues in Lord of Attraction as aspeople know it I don't know there's alot of it back now whereas when we wasyounger it was it wasn't it wasn't aboutwhat he's still about but we wasn'taware of him but he's a lot more aboutof it often now so and then you know Idon't know thousands if not millions ofpeople's heard of the secret and so thenthatbook came into my hands and it was itjust happened to be that I went onto acourse and which is an angel course andhis spiritual core so as I went thereand this is the lady that was conductingit her name was Angela so and she toldus about this secret and the secretwebsite so I wrote it downsuza go home was sort of jumped on thewebsite got the thing he got the DVDbecause there's gotta be somethingindecent what's what's so good aboutthis or anyway are played it and thenwhat made my two boys what it sat therewatching me and I was totally sort ofenclosed in this secret because thatwhat they were saying is your thoughtsbecome your reality this was for me itwas like a turning point because Ithought wow if that was the case and wowI can create anything the one was withthe kids they were still young therewasn't sort of so much interested in itand so that's where he progressed fromso now you know I have a special routinein the morning and a follow every dayand it's all due to this I guess I cancall it positive thing times Olivia andit's all due to these positive thinkingand you know when you start to think ina certain way certain doors will startto open for youbut you have to trust in your way ofthinking and you have to trust inyourself even though all throughout lifeand even in today's day and age and howfast forward we have become even todayyou still have their thoughts you stillhave to battle with your own mindbelieve it or not and with your negativethought you know you're constantlyfighting against them and like I said toyou know before we started you know youhave a thought you sort of you sort ofhave a negative thought if you like andbefore you know it your negativethoughts your your conscious mindstarting tell you something and beforeyou know you're not that's spiraled intoyour hair before blonde conversationswith yourself you know you're sitting inyour car and you're home or whatever andyou're talking to yourself and you'rehaving this complex it's conversationwith yourself and you're sort offighting with yourself you know onevoice against another and I don't knowif that makes sense you know you sort offighting with yourself and you reallyhave to start to understand your thoughtand that's one of the thingslearn to do is understand my thoughtsand when I'm having a thought like thatI instantly think to myself okay this isthis is the right thought no it's notand I'll stop put a stop to the Thorntonright away because you are in control ofyour own thinking nobody else controlsit for you so you know what you arethinking so if you start to realize thatyou was thinking something that's hasn'teven happened you can stop that thoughtright away when you stop it do youreplace it with something or replace ityeah you have to replace it withsomething positive say for example ifyou're having an emotional thought let'sjust say something bad happened you knowyou you're on your way you've got aparking ticket or you or something likethat you don that's a negative thing andthe first thing you do when you get aparking tickets in your effing andblinding station and and you know andyou know then that you know be from thatanger anything of blinding thinking thatyou know it starts to escalate so if youright away realize all and this is thisis not right it you know what's whatcould be good about there having aparking ticket and then think ofsomething that these positive factorsare negative so when you start to thinkof something positive I'm an 18 it couldwell be this you might have had aparking ticket you might have grabbed aparking ticket God to speak todayconductor or whatever I'm bumped intosomebody who you spontaneously you knowbumped into somebody who is we put yourright you know you and you might haveyou know anything could have happenedwith those gratitude in having a carabsolutely yeah yeah anything you knowanything but as long as you sort ofrealize that you're having this negativethought and without letting this spunout of control with hundreds of otherthoughts stop it right away stop it andchange you to find a positive in thatnegative like I said it could be thatyou've got you could be grateful to youyou've got him you come to meet make ameeting absolutely if that you know hewas worried about your parking ticketthen you might not have gone on to thatmeeting and gain somethingokay knowledge or whatever it is youknow so if there's always a positive ina negative and that's what you have tosort of learn to do it's not the easiestthing in the world who is there but withpractice it becomes perfect that'sinteresting because this is justmeanness or cancers effectivemy family is taking members of my familyaways it's affecting my family some ofthem now so a very negative connotationtowards cancer I sometimes put myself ina position and think if I was to everget cancer or something but a particularpoint I just can't help but think that Iwill feel sorry for myself at some stagehave you ever felt that yeah you do as Isaid that you know it's it's it's notyour normal yeah absolute normal youknow you can't control your thoughts toa degree well you can you can't becausewhen something as severe as cancer orother illness hit you you can't see anyway out so of course it's not so foranybody to think you know how would Ifeelbut as I said earlier on you know you weare you are in control of your thoughtsas long as you don't put emotion intosomething it can never happen it's onlyemotion that creates your reality whenyou paint a picture of what you want andhow you want your life to be yourconscious and your subconscious minddoesn't know the difference betweenright and wrongit just doesn't know the difference itonly responds to what your want pictureyou're painting it so when you're youngas I said you know your pet your parentshave painted how your picture is goingto be so your subconscious mind thenwhen your conscious mind then has tobuild your life around your parentspicture or the picture that you'vecreated or they're created not just yourparent it's society its schooleverything and anything after the sortof ages 10 when you develop fullydevelop your conscious mind after theage of 10 anything after that is whatyour picture has been built on based onyour school your parenting or andsociety itself you know you have to sortof try to understand your thoughts youthink there's a lot and as long as youcan control or though what you'rethinking you can always change it thehardest part of changing something isthat you have to change all your softconscious if people understand what thatmeans if they don't then I went tohighly recommendlooking into that because it's a veryvery powerful part of us it's a part ofour mind and can create reality for youso if you don't understand whatsubconscious is then I so stronglysuggest that you go out and listen to oreven you know we books on that if youdon't like reading like me listen toaudiobooks I love listening yeahmotivation you see and you can learn alot from it so that's what you reallyhave to do you have to sort of thinkabout what you're thinking about thinkabout what you're thinking about all thetime and then stop when you start itwhen you start having it sort of anegative thoughts stop that and thenthink of a positive what could be thepositive thing what is it that you wantin life to change the picture that yourparents have built or society is builtfor you changing that jigsaw yourconscious mind doesn't want to change ajigsaw because you imagine you've made agreat massive jigsaw puzzle here andyou're trying to take the middle of thatjigsaw puzzle add and change it and howhard would it be to change that jigsawpuzzle so that's why your conscious mindis constantly fighting with you to stopyou doing that any fight with you bysending yeah but what if this happensthis is gonna happen this is gonnahappen and reality is just all you'redoing it fighting with you know elseisn't it yeah yeah so that's how yousort of change you know reality that'sbrilliant that's that's powerfulthat's something actually that's foranyone that is this and there's a bookcalled the chip paradox and he actuallyexplains it so it's quadratures paradoxof what he says is you have the chimpwhich is your like your subconsciousthrough then you have a computer whichis kind of the logical side of you butwhat he says is the chimp is morepowerful yeah and it's unless we controlthis chimp whether it's through changingour thought processes and the thingsthat we were taught to believeabsolutely absolutely then the chainsgoing to take over runs on it and that'sexactly what happens we do 95 90 95percent of our societyand yeah yeah you like absolutely yourchip will always try to control what itwants you to do but deep down if youstart to understand it anything ispossible but even having said that it'snot just his thoughts it's it's agratitude you have to put into thingyou know I mean I once all grateful forI mean I can explain sort of you knowwhat my routine isn't when I get a bunchof virtually the next thing so yeah yeahthe routine yeah so for myself what I dowhen I get up in the morning my generalroutine I mean on the early riser somore put three o'clock in the morningand one of the things I've learned andI'll never ever do is put the snoozebutton on now that I ever put snoozebutton or people do that but that's nota really a positive thing to do you knowyou as soon as oh yeah my alarm goes offI'm out of bed my feet hit the floor andthe first thing I do is I put my headtogether and then I go thank you so muchfor another day ahead of me and he'sfeeling that gratitude of another daywhether that day is gonna be the same asyesterday or not matters not it'sanother day I listen to a lot ofaffirmations in the morning as well sowhen you get up in the morning what Ilearned is that your subconscious mindyour conscious mind hasn't quite kickedin so you're still in your subconsciousand state so when you start to feed yoursubconscious state with positiveaffirmations your day will flowperfectly so first thing I'll do is ofgovernment phone I'll put my headphoneson I'll get dressed and I start to playaffirmations positive affirmations oreven relaxing music just to calm I'mlike that and so while I'm goingtesticle have a yeah you know I meanI'll have a shower in the night in caseyou think I think I've had a shower inthe night and so while I'm brushing myteeth I'll still got this headset on soI'll put 20 minutes or so I've got thisheadset on listening to affirmations andwhile I'm having breakfast on listen toaffirmations and I Drive to worklistening to an audiobook and um howyour mind works there's some great booksout there no doubt you've heard of manyof them I love listening to if you don'tmind the answer yeah actually you knowsomeone a box I mean I love listening toThink and Grow Rich by Napoleon HaydenI'm sure millions of poverty read a bookand the other book I think is fantasticand people should really haven'tis the science of getting rich by whatis what'll again it's it's it's heexplained it's a science of game richand it's a great book to if you I meanyou can buy it but if you don't want tobuy it you can get on YouTube and inlisten to it so for forty minutes fromall the way to work on listening to D soI'm always trying to feed my mind withpositive affirmations positive vibes allthe way to work and obviously onceyou've done your work come back home onmy way back home I'm genuinely back onfor about seven in the morning so I'mone ear out at the house for a few hoursand when I'm back home I take the dogfor a walkanother relaxing way to do that and thenI get when I'm when I'm home obviously aboo gone to work by then and then I domy meditation and we solved for the nexthour and so I sit there and I focus whatI want out of life and how I want mylife to be and so I do a meditation thenlisten to some great meditation musicagain you can get on YouTube if youdon't I use one called calm on iTunes itis one that you have to pay for whatyeah it's absolutely fantastic I sawmany on there it's great but as I saidthere's lots of free ones you know youjust have to find one that resonateswith you so once of a sort of listenedand once I've done my own meditation Igenerally fall asleep for an hour songtwo hours and so it's in a sort of fallasleep for about a couple of hours andthen back up to ten o'clock I've startedto do exercises now when I hadn't beforeeven though when I was younger I spent alot of time exercising but when I gothere I sort of lost confidence inxdesign so i starting to sort of carryback into exercising nothing bank am buti have so for ten o'clock consider do 20minutes of sort of general exercise andand and ice get on go about Monday I'llstart work about two o'clock again tohave two and once again I'll start Ionly listen or try to listen toaudiobooks you know any kind of audioBob Proctor is another fantastic I meanhe's amazing you know I know he's on thesecret but he's so he's been doing thisfor 50 years and he's somebody knowswhat they're talking abouthe is a man that knows what he's talkingabout and so I listen to a lot and a lotof his and audio books I listen to a lotof time Roberts and again and does agreat motivator so I'm always listeningto these books and that awesomewhilst I'm at work I generally come homearound 1:00 to finished up getting homefor seven have a meal I try to relax bywatching not so much TV programs butmore very old-fashioned God programs ifyou like and and the reason of watchthem is because it's it's it explains toyou that what we have now has alwaysbeen there but we just we just didn'trealize it so it's in resonates back toyou how you can move forward with whatwe have well I've always had and thegenerally don't got a bed and again onceagain I've always got to sleep at nightand before I go to sleep I just bethankful for my whole day you know Ithink about all the the thing I've donetoday even though my day routine isgenerally the same and I might have metsomebody new there so I always sort ofgratitude to everything I have even mymeals or sit down and I'm you know youwhen I say gratitude because he'sgratitude is part of development so ifyou're not grateful for something thenhow can you be grateful for what youwant to something so you really have tobe grateful for and I know there's lotsof people there's a wall I can't begrateful until I get this box if that'sthe way you're thinking as we spokeearlier on you're only gonna get more ofwhat you're putting out so if you'rethinking I'm not grateful for somethingyour only your your subconscious mindonly sees that you're not grateful forsomething and you know you're feelingsad about something so he thinks ah okayoh yeah it's not about this I'll giveyou more of that so that's how yourcontent works and fall asleep againlistening to youmusic until the next day I don't knowfalling asleep so in the middle of thenight when this thing he's office stillgot my head said oh we should take offpretty so and then you know so that's mydaily routine every day yes it's almostlike the curse of cancer that came intoyour life has always made your lifebetter totally think shame because itthat's it for me it took for me to getill to get where I am I mean you know Ihad a business which and was almost gonealmost bankrupt me because I reallystruggled but had it not been for whatI'd learned over the years I think thatI would have really got into itdepression but because of what I learnedover the years when I did have mybusiness and that didn't work as well asI expected it to and it's just one ofthem things and yes I worried a lotabout it and opera and Laura's worryingin the family put up trying to keep itaway from them as well because I didn'twant them to feel under pressure to helpand there was absolutely fantastic youknow hats off to my family then theystepped in and they sort of we workedtogether and you know and it's anotherthing that I think I should point out isthat when you have when you when you'reworried about something and even worriedabout not telling your parents ortelling your family it's a wrong thingto do because if your family is alwaysthere to understand and support you andjust it's surprising how much taken justjust by taking or talking to somebodyhow much of a burden you can take offyour shoulders and that's what I did yousee but just boy even though they didn'tsort of okay here we'll do this withthis but just talking to them took awayso much of my worries and but as I saidif it wasn't for what I've learned overthe previous year is about beingpositive I wouldn't have come out ofthat business feeling better for myselfand you know going on six or seven yearsnow more than that now here 10 years orso moving forward 10 years you know I'vecreated another great business you knowII'm really happy within them andprogress it's always because you have toprove you have to think of yourself andyour family and move forward with themabsolutely so a couple of good pointsday is born obviously it's easier saidthan done but we shouldn't have to waitfor a cancer or death or something youknow like these are simple things thatevery single one of us on a daily basisand so I ask this question can start todo it's not gonna take us long to justsit there for best part of two threeminutes and just think of all the thingswe're grateful for every single morningand it slowly become easier thenobviously throughout the day we'llnotice more and more things yeah andthen listening to positive stuff sohopefully people listening to this canjust take on this now yeah rather thanhave to wait for something bad in partand then just live in this on what it'salmost like a bliss because you justappreciate every single momentabsolutely right sometimes we will gothrough life and six months tormentsurpassed and you've never really livedin the moment because you've won binanxious about the past and to you I sawyou anxious about the future untilyou've been depressed about the past soit's a dangerous place to be absolutelyit's almost like living in today youalso said talking to people so this issomething that I actually mentioned on aprevious podcast so I struggled withanxiety struggled a lot with overwhelmand similar to yourself I'm trying ityou look after my family I'm trying tocomfort my wife and my siblings and Idon't want to put the burden on them mymom suffered in depression so she'sloved a best friend by the same time Idon't want to have any stress there aswell but then sometimes if it's too muchand I do speak to her yeah she doesn'tsolve the problem but I felt so muchbetter which she feels better that Icould buy dinner yeah same with myfriends or my wife whoever I speak to ittalking is so powerful it's a massivemassive thing but as humans what I meanconnection speaking is it's part of usand because the song takes a turn thatfollows 24 so absolutely we will lose aconnectionabsolutely I think you know that's againlike you said you know is you when youtalk into somebody somebody when youhold it in yourself you're creatingnothing but bad feelings for yourselfbut when you're let that energy outyou've it's almost as if you've left letout and a massive ball of negativeenergy you know that's how you gotacidity is a and you know and it's hardsometimes understand you know certain 16certain things in such a situation yousometimes find it hard totalk to somebody but the best wayforward and I've always found is thatyou know if you can't talk to yourfamily then talk to somebody who'sconfused you're close with you know justtake that off your chest and it makesyou feel so much better and your mindwill always fight you against it becausethey want you to hold and I know itsounds bad do you thinking to yourselfwell why wouldn't my mind want to dothat for me and it's always one see italways sort of and give you a picture ofoh yeah but if you if you told decentI'm gonna do this ad singly and you knowyou but you're creating something hasn'teven happened creating scenario you knowwe're going back again you know creatinga picture of what you want if you wantif you want to if you finally difficultto talk to somebody then imagine it inyour head and I know those who have readand Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hillof one of the things he used to do washe used to have a board meeting and withsome of the richest people in the worldin his head not physically with in yourhead and I mean he could if you canimagine something like that so and it'seasy to imagine thing you know you couldyou can imagine something like like justlike that if I said to you now think ofa pink elephant instantly you'll bethinking of a pink elephant if you'resaying stick your face in the kitchenyou'll be thinking of that so you cancreate emotion to that yeah absolutelyabsolutely without emotion there's lotsof elements that you have to puttogether for the law of attraction towork emotion is one of them gratitude isanother one the positive thinking isanother one and individually you knowimage in your head and what you wantyour life to be is another one when youstart to combine these things togetherthat's when your life starts to changeof people using this Lord of Attractionhas changed in life totally change yourlife around within 12 months just by Imean it takes 30 days to create thething is with life itself which we'vecreated habits and hobbies can bechanged it takes time to change habitsbut habits can be changedI love that and the final point I justwant to add to that is you mentioned abusiness that you've just started thatyou're very happy with we have anotherbusiness because we've got the productson there it's probably packed in one ofthese boxes now because we're movinghouse not okayjoining just share that briefly justwith the ordinance a lot when I firstheard about it I was like that's quitean innovative is quite interesting okaystraight away can you just starting fromscratch sure yeah yeah and others heredo I do my full time I guess it's a jobbut it's not job because he's stillself-employed and do my parcel businessbut always wanted to be sort of anonline trader so what I started to dowas I looked at ways I can make moneyonline Amazon was a biggest platform soI was learned how to sort of startedlooking more into how Amazon works andso I learned how to through theirlearning program and he can learn Lee toAmazon sort of learned how to sellproducts on Amazon and that's what I'mmoving forward with and I've got aproduct on there now which and which isaromatherapy oils but he's one of themthings that sort of well it's a bit of arisk to take but again if you wantsomething to happen you have to have apositive outcome of it and so I startedto understand and learn a lot aboutAmazon and how they were what what to doand learnt the coursethey've had to promote the product howwhere to find a product had to getproduct once I understood all that I'mstill learning from it's not somethingthat yeah fully understood I'm stilllearning from them I started as I said Iimported my first product and it's beengreat you know really has my wife usesit I think that's actually okay yeah itis a great product done yeah just onthat as well so soft and you hear peoplethinking they can't do nothing we haveall these limiting beliefs and they seewhat we can do in life and yeah you justthought okay I wanted to start abusiness and you probably wouldn't youprobably just figured it out along theway yeah you are not selling a productunless that's a lesson to anyone like ifthis is something you want with theright mindset and then obviously theaction nothing impossible without actionyou know you it's no good having theoldest mindset yeah positive thinkingwhen you take no action you you know youhave to take action if it's somethingthere's somelooking to do you know sell online itdoesn't have to be Amazon there's lotsof other platforms on thereI chose Amazon because I was on is deepBiggie's platform to sell and I choseAmazon because I found it you can I canI don't have to store the product at allI'll send it to their warehouseeverything they deal with a moment yeahabsolutely and their fulfillment centerthat deal with the customers they dealwith the returns of course anything thatis returned luckily for me I finally hadone product returned in all the onesthat have sold and then they theycontact you so you have nothing you knowthat this is the biggest fear withpeople they think well how can I startoh I'm Christie what about customerseries what about this but this withAmazon they deal with all that with youyeah of course they target fee which isunderstandable but you have to find aproduct then you can now incorporate allthat and you can make and still make aprofit out of it you know you you knowyou could there's lots of people onAmazon that making great massive massivemonthly incomes and it's it is possibleand you just have to trust in yourselfto do it and that's the hardest thingtrusting yourselfif it's something that you know it's forthe listeners if something that you'repassionate about then use that productuse that as a product absolutely I wantyou to put that in there because I'veseen you use the product as well yeah soit's not like a shameless plug or anyyeah yeah it's inspiring because if Iask someone say for instance my dad ormy own course or something do that thefirst thing that says all are configuredI don't know about the internet and wehave a lot of people in the audience wejust automatically have exclusivestraightaway absolute is always it'sjust refreshing to hear somebody justsay you know what what it actually showsthat everything you're putting inpractice in your daily routines like theaffirmation is opposed to thinking yeahyou put it into practice any practice oryou foods I think that's the thing withall the community because I mean I'm 53and if I can make changes at 53 peopleat that age if not youngerI mean exactly majority to preparepeople you know once they get past fortyforty five to think that's it I thinkthe life is overyou can't progress you can't learn youthe game started yeah it's just startingand I just gain started don't letthings top of you because when you'reyoung you have a whole you could you gotyour whole life in front of you whenyou're 40 your passport you're gettingclose to 50 you think that you've onlygot a few years but just in a few yearsif you with the right mindset it justwithin a few years you can change thewhole life around if that's what youwant being all free absolutely peopleare living longer now resolve of courseyeah yeah definitely Brit okay thank youfor that so we spoke about diversityquite a bit and we spoke obviously thebusiness stuff we spoke about thepersonal health problems as well if youcould just choose one of your biggestlessons that you've learned from thatexperience so I'm going that you had themindset of something but if you can justsay to somebody maybe who's experiencedin it now or going through term orwhether it's cancer or any other illnessif you can just give them one lessonthat you've taken from that situation Iwould say that you know just as hardwhen giving that situation but just tryto see things as I say just try and lookat the light at the end of the tunnelyou know just try to focus on yougetting better you moving forward youwanting the thing that you want insteadof focusing on something and Iunderstand that it's hard because I'vebeen there and but just try to listenand the best way did it one of the otherthings I absolutely love doing is I lovelistening to music that I love becausehe just makes you feel so much betterso if you are going through a tough timelisten to your favorite song don't losesight of you joy yeah something that youenjoy listening to listen to a rock soyou know not so much a rock song in thesense of rock song I mean something thathas a fantastic you know I always findthat that helps me to feel better so andyeah you know just just try to staypositive really you know it's a toughsituation to be more you just have tolearn to stay positiveyeah that's brilliant thank you for thatI'm in this particular moment right thissecond what is your biggest fear andfear is another to say this now becausefear is just a thought it's just thoughtthat can be told controlled when youhave a fear you can always change yourfeeling too and onso I try to avoid having a fear becauseI'm not saying don't not worried aboutanything I'm always worried about thefuture and have I done enough too butwhen I pass how I done enough on thisearth for those were living here now forwhen I pass that means my biggestconcern blooded and I fear because Ithink when you use the word fear I don'tknow a lot of people do but I from whatI've learned one of the things Iunderstand these learn to understandthese fear it's just a word it's a wordthat's used by everybodyso when somebody uses the word fear youinstantly think the worst of somethingso no no that's not what you wanted tohear but I think that they when you usethe word fear you sort of think of theworst but to me don't think of the wayfear and it's hard not to but don'tthink of me think of something think ofit as a unless fear forward if you likebut yeah well my biggest concern is howabout done enough on earth and for thosecoming okay that's one of my biggestinterested and has that purpose of yoursthat why without motivation to leave theworld given as much as usually has thatonly stemmed since again that I don'twant to keep touching on it but theyHansard incident absolutely yeah yeahyeah and that's interesting because alot of people I find that go throughadversity in life or have been throughhardship they almost become selfless andthey just want it almost in that momentwhen they're so great for this stuffthey want to give back more yeah yeah Ithink before that we kind of do live aselfish life yeah absolutely because I Iwas kind of selfish I only reallythought about myself I didn't eventhough I've respected what my pen said Iwould kind of well my life I could dowhat I like or no and even you knowgoing back down I remember my fathersitting me down once and he went and hesaid you know you're going down thewrong path because I started gettinginvolved with the wrong people he saidyou're gonna shame us and he was likethat backing when I was growing up hesaid you're gonna put shame on us andyou're gonna end up in prison because hethought I was gonna end up in prison andbut I you know I was not but I wanted todo what I want to docare about that I just want to do what Iwant to do for what I dye my hair with adime appears like yeah you can't stop meeven though respecting him when I didn'tdo a pop it was one of the thoughts ofhim that was going through her head andso ya can say for me cancer was thebiggest biggest thing that changed andmaybe that's what I neededyou know things they were say the thingscome for a reason maybe that is what Ineededthat's a wake-up call this is why Iactually love like I love dis as part ofmy job because I get to meet people atyou and without having to go through thepain and that you've been through yeahit inspires me so much like this isinspiring but I have sometimes will betalking and I'll be like episode 4so-and-so said this how dare I feelsorry for myselfyeah I'm it doesn't get me through theday and I'll always think I'm blessedbecause when I'm gonna have him speak tosomebody I always get to meet a newfriend and a new person that I form arelationship and then it just changed myperspective because I'm like I'm so muchmore grateful even now just for likehealth see you perfectly because he'sjust pointed it out you know you washaving there we're gonna use the wordnegative again we're having dailythought about something and yet youinstantly realized you was and thenchange it into something positive bysaying about somebody such as 50 centsor how dare Iand it's absolutely like you know thisthere's so many people in this worldthat are worse off than you yeah youknow you other than those who arehomeless and you know this is one of thethings I want to do and as I get betterand better and you know be able to do itis to help the homeless because unlessyou're homeless and God not you if along as you go roof of your hand yesit's always tough if you haven't got ajob and I know it's a big thing and abig concern but yeah if you got a roofover you should be gratefulalways be playing with without gratitudeabsolutely can't move forward and Ithink I think that's that's a brilliantpoint I think it's something though wedo have to do every day because againadversity everything he goes foreveryone's life and I've had momentswhen but death happens all of a suddenfor that month but you're you you'regrateful for everything and you knowlife's too short please share everythingbut then you get very quickly back intotheir old habits happy so that's why Ialways readit should be like a day absolutely youtouch on the homeless thing so I'm I'mvery fortunate my parents are very likeloving people so we foster children andit's laughs okay well you're my sisterthen we adopted and my mom tried toadopt every single kid that coming tothe house and laughs there's no room inthe house so I've got like three whitesiblings and we've got Asian sister aswell was adopted and seeing them andseeing like their issues in terms oflike disabilities there weremalnutrition when they first came thereTestament disorders it made me sograteful like it changed my whole lifeso I gave good-paying jobs to becomelike a social worker to effectivelychange the world and it changed but thenwhat happened was when I got married andI moved into my house here we're sittingtoday yeahdon't my siblings I think about themevery single day but I don't live withthem every day to end that feeling ofgratitude every single day okaywhereas before I never had to remindmyself please job like this a nice thingpoor Kyle he might never be able todrive a car he'll never be able to dothis yeah and he used to make me feelgrateful yeah so it is something I thinklike anything like if you don't lookafter your health every single day it'sgonna deteriorate absolutely I think weshould always try and I think that's thebiggest issue and you get to a certainstage and when you're happy with yourlife you tend to start to forget aboutthat is you know just another quickpoint is you know it's not a religiousthing or I don't want to win anybodyhere but when when something bad younever think about God you go about yourday to day business but when somethingbad happens you straight away you'regoing and pray to God you know God isthere every single day yet you forgetand I know most people don't but themajority do you know they forget thathe's there every day and I even thoughI'm not a I'm a spiritual person and youknow it doesn't matter what you are deepdown with all the same so when you haveto pray to somebody then pray to themevery day if you want to if you feelthat God is your way forward and thenpray to God every day be thankful to himthat you got me walk every day not justa day that you're feeling down or youfind a bad day or you've lost your catyou lost your dog or anything else youknow every single day should be a daywhere you grateful with gratitude 100%you alcohol I think that's beautifulmessage I think it's something that I'mprobably cure you have I remember as akid man if I thought was gonna get introuble bug my parentslike God please get me through this daynever do it again I'm sure we've allkind of done yeah I thought okaybrilliant so we're actually at the funpart of the show is what I called it soit's again quickfire round of 60 to 90seconds depending when I apply you outbasically I just random questions okayare we all ready yeah okay we're gonnago in three two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be oh yeah yourfavorite beer butter oh yeah yourbiggest role model Oh baby what wouldyou like to be remembered for the good Idid your biggest goal this year to besuccessful and help us your worstmistake not doing Eternia if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe the very first day I was bornthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible the number one thing thatannoys you but habits and when your fameneither your proudest moment my childrenyour favorite foodgot a visual icing chicken would yourather speak or languages or speak toanimals what's your favorite song at theclub by the Drifters and if you had anextra hour a day how would you spend itmeditating Netflix or YouTube Netflixand the final question is the number onepiece of advice you would give to yourchildren just be yourself okay brilliantso we're approaching towards the end ofthe show now and just two more questionsthat I always like to ask my guest thenext one's about reflection I saw thisis in hindsight obviously we learn wayswhere we can get to places quicker withless heartache or by saving money forexample so if you could go back knowingeverything that you know now and allyour words of wisdom and everything thatwe've spoken about in the show to ayounger time when maybe you wereconfused or going through a time whereyou had no clarity in your life yeah andyou can just whisper something in theyounger piece yeah yeah did you say goneback if I had and I think that this mayyou know I was thinking these yes noweven though I would tell myself that thefuture is what you create the Tippie soif you want your future to be betterpaint that picture in your head andthat's what I would whisper to myselfpaint the picture of how you want yourlife to be and it will create itthat's Brittany I think the more watersthe develop my dream and stuff as wellthat's more what I try and do is I likevision board and stuff and I think Ithink maybe as children as well we dothat but there's somewhere betweenchildhood when you've got that innocenceto growing up yeah we tend to lose it Ithink the vision boards are fantasticand I think that a great thing to havebecause it gives you a idea of how youwant your life to be but the whole timeto that to that is when somebody makes avision board they forget that they canchange that vision board and once you'velooked at it a few times it's just theresitting on the wall of what I tend to dois I've read my goals every morning I'llhave a book written in there what I wantmy average day to be like and I read thebook everything is pretty detailed ofhow I would like to be and I sit downand read it and if there's something alot I don't like in it I always draw itout and change it and I think withthings like vision boards and eventhough I did a great thing like I saidbut vision boards is a massive pictureof you know I feel Bree wants to bemulti millionaire and they know we'renear there it's it's an image where youthink well I'm not gonna get there butif you take small steps because visionboards can be expanded it can be changedbut I think people when who make visionboards are I'm not sure about yourselfof people who make vision boards tendnot to change it so then look at it onceor twiceliterally for a month or so after that -forget the vision boards he's there butyou know going forward it's not it's nota bad thing I'm not saying would yourecommend them having a two year goalit's about building confidence so ifyou're gonna like your goal down foryourself or goals down for yourself andyou've written a goal to say let's justsay for argument's say you're gonna havea million pound in a year and people dolike gods like now because the thing -what if I could create anything oragreat that create that I'm not sayingit can't be created but if y'all haven'tbut if you're not if you're not in linewith your positive thinking creatingthat video path is going to be difficultbut if you say to yourself I want tocreate a slightly similar goal so say afew sectors up I want to10,000 pounds a month 10,000 pound amonth is far achievable easilyachievable because your work hard racketabsolutely once you achieve your 10,000pounds a month you've put it and have abooster then draw your goal pika make ittwenty thousand their next month and youknow no no there's lots of people outthere don't think well I want to be amillionaire and I want to beat in a yearand but you didn't learn to speak andyou didn't know how long did it take youto learn to walk how long did it takeyou to do things now you know justgenerally to do things it takes 12 yearsfor you to go through school and learnall the things in school you're notgoing to become successful in a yearwell I'm not so don't get me wrong sorryI apologize for that it's not you're notgoing to be your mindset isn't brightguitar pitch there won't be a nomineesthat will obviously do it for the vastmajority of us we have to develop one asphere is changing one our mindset one Ihelp everything needs a line is haveyeah and we need to increase theconfidence and our skill set in all ofthose yeah and one of the things that II suppose I've suffered with I saw Idon't do vision boards myself is that nopeople do is when I used to have thesebig goalssomewhere along their journey if you'retrying to be like an entrepreneur tryingto find your way life yeah when yourealize how far you are from you goesyou become very dissatisfied to me andtrying to think of the right words forit be they the lack of motivation yeahbecause you think I'm just so far awayfrom it and even though you might havecome so far the J yank yeah you forgethow far you've come because you'relooking to have my uni heroso this is what I'm saying about visionboards you see becausevision boards are a great thing but ifyou're making a vision board and yourjourney is to be you know a supersuccessful entrepreneur but you're onlyhere you're not seeing absolutely howyou come you you're looking at that andyou you kind of can't get demotivatedbecause you know with anything it can'tbe change but if you're making a goalthat stopped being absolute but you'rehere so that's why that's my adviceno I think that's great advice is so ifwe use the analogy that IowaI can relate to very quickly is healthand fitness so everyone wants a six-packin just absolutely the number onequestion I always get a song that'sabsolutely fine we can get you asix-pack we can help you but it startswith one rep in the gymyeah starts with you going to the gymthat one day yeah and you can't ever getthere any quicker no matter how much youwould have to do that ripyeah then unfortunately you have to do alot of them reps and yeah you can't justdo one on one day you can't just sithere for 24 hours or let's do sit-upsanother city like the world it's aprocess and it's about understandingthat so yeah I think that's it it's apretty answer good answer and thatcertainly actually brings us to the lastquestion and the last question is if in150 years science fails to save us andnone of us are here and it's justhopefully my podcasts by then all thatremains is a book and this book is aboutyou everything in your life or the goodthings you've done or the wonderfulthings and all the people's lives you'vetouched and everything yeah what wouldthe back of the book tell us to makesomebody want to pick it up about youand also what would the title be well Ithink if I was who write a book thetitle of my book would have to be a caryou say Think and Grow Rich butsomething along the lines you knowthoughts I would say I would say it'shard to sort of define them an actualname for the Papa I would say somethingalong the lines of use your thoughtswell think carefully and think aboutwhat you want you know it's hard todefine a name think carefully that'sthat's quite interesting yeah it's sortof something along them lines and withthe back of the book create the lifethat you want by thinking history youknow think about how you painted apicture painting an image on your lifecreate an image of how you want what youlike to be it's hard to sort of it'sfine to be honest I think everythingthat you've said in this episode haskind of told us about the nerve of ityeah and I think the probably the mostimportant thing like you said it's thinkcarefully yeah because you realizedthrough your trials in tribulations isthat if your thought processes thatmanifesto LSU and make your existenceand everything but yeah I think that'sthe biggest thing really you know whenyou're somebody's gonna pick somethingup they're gonna think about what theyare doing what about you as a person howwould you how would you want to beremembered I would like to be rememberedas somebody who diddividing therefore everybody you knowdid the right thing for those who areless fortunate or try to do the wrongthing I think yeah that's brilliantthank you I think that's a great answerand I'm just a final note so we aregonna put your Amazon link in for yourvisit I think you definitely shoulddefinitely if people are interested inthemso it's it's an oil it's a variation allRoma therapy oils basically they're thenatural products there there's noartificial cooling or the fieldadditives in it and they can be used foryour health purposes there's cárdenas aswell and he tells you what you can whatthe purpose of these are and so each oilcan be used for various things I mean Iuse the head of tose so there's a andthere's an oil in there kiddo and Ithink it is that same as witch witchhazel if you're cruising if thought itactually takes your pain away but Idon't have anything okay so and againI'll use the oils to put in the SteamMop just a few tops fantastic you coulduse them in diffuser so there's manyuses for them yeah I got my wife as wellyeah and alongside that are you onsocial media as well is there a way orwould you be open to banners connectingwith yourself and yeah I mean if anybodyyou know wants any answers or questionsalways take on anything then yeah coolso I I am on social media on FacebookI'm not a big these further Facebook youknow yeah I think it's just a good pointof call because there could be somebodywho behind closed doors may haveresonated a certain part of your storymay be struggling with it may be goingfor the exact same thing yeah and thisis another thing the whole point of thispodcast is to let people know they'renot alone yeah so the story that you'regoing through I'm gonna be going throughabout a million other people who yeahthis is what it's about and it's alwaysnice when you can get somebody on theshow he's in a much better place thenyeah yeah and that's the point is artistso in that function enough when we'regoing through all the emotions and stuffand we think there is no light at theend of the tour like I thought you knowactually all of my guests havedemonstrated there is like it is herethat's what it's aboutfantastic so brilliant so we're I justwanted this moment once again just tothank you for your time today andsharing your story into the listeners athome I gotta listenit's for that play to be here andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we asked in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"How Society affects teenagers today" by Balraj Purewal #26Tagline: "These are the broken pieces of the puzzle that you still end up piecing together.."Life has moved on so quickly and within the space of a generation our world is now seen through a phone, almost 24/7. In fact I can't recall the last time I went out myself and didn't snap, Instagram or Facebook a status update.But for the youth of today they experience larger problems and issues, such as seeking external validation, comparison amongst peers and so often finding themselves missing the beauty of the presence.It is with this I decided to interview a teenager to show us, and give us a first insight into the life of a teen today. He explains very eloquently the struggles, the good the bad and the types of challenges he is presented with daily, amongst other teens.He is a poet at a heart, currently studying at my favourite university (no bias), whilst trying to figure out where he fits in the world amongst figuring out the intent of other people.We speak about many things in this episode that I really enjoyed recording such as:IntentImportance of internal validationBeing true to yourselfFinding your voiceWorking hardUsing social media for what it is todayA guy who is wise beyond his years and someone I believe will go on and achieve his dreams in the world today, I urge you all to show him some support and follow his journey below:P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_b.purewal/ (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/word___art/ (Poetry)Snapchat: B.purewalHave an awesome day & #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcription:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of this show so today I'm gonna bebringing you our youngest ever guest onthe show now I was a little bitskeptical if I'm completely honest ofhaving somebody so young coming out to ashow like find your voice because findyour voice generally speaking it'speople who have gone through adversitygone through obstacles and problems andthen all of a sudden I sat back and Ithought hold on a second this is theexact kind of person we need on thisshow because I'm sitting here and almostmaking this judgment which is againshowing something that I need to beaware of and learn from that peoplegoing through their teenagers and goinginto transition into adulthoodhaven't got a voice and that's not whatI wanted the show to be about so anywayI'm gonna be completely honest he overdelivered in fact he was the star ofthis show and I'm very grateful that heshared his experience because there's somany things he mentioned in this episodethat made me kind of think back to howeasy I suppose my life was growingthrough that transition and many of uslistening to this because I checked thedemographics are a lot older thanbarrages and we never had to go throughthe social media constraints and theproblems and that external validationthat these children and teenagers aregoing through today so it's a very verygood episode in terms of one for anyonewho's going through this transition areyou the teenagers who are hopefullytrying to get to listen to this show toinspire and motivatebut more importantly it's just asimportant for us slightly older peoplewho maybe forgot what it was like growno to hear somebody's perspective or howdifferent life is so we talked a lotabout intent we talked about the typesof people that you come across in lifebut we also talk about some stuff thatjust really blew my mind that I wastalking to a teenager especially when Ithink back to what I was like growing upbecause I was not this emotionally awaythat I was just figuring it out and itgained that last bit there figuring itout is something that we go on to talkabout quite a bit in this episodebecause irrespective of where you are inthis journey in this wonderful thingcalled life we're always just trying tofigure it out so hopefully you find thisuseful especially towards the end of theshow because his last two answers wereincredible and they were very poetic andthen I happen to realize that he has apoetry account on Instagram which kindof made sense so a kid with a hugefuture ahead of him I'm very gratefulthat I've managed to tap into theyounger demographics as well I'm verygrateful for Barrett this time and Ihope you all really enjoy this episodeso without further ado let's jump intoit okay people I just like to start thisshow by welcoming bowrage to the showand thanking all the listeners fortuning in today how you doing today myfriend yeah I'm not too bad not too badOh better runs well thanks I let me comeon the show oh you're very welcome myfriend so I think to start this show Ithink it's really important that thelisteners get to know you a little bitso if you would have mind if you canjust kind of give us a briefintroduction into the life of Berridgeplease yeah well so obviously I went toaround four primary schools alreadyremember too much about it if I'm honestI mean I'm the whole guys created forone but then as I went along we movedhouse quite a bit went to one schoolthat was pretty racist I was like whatlike the third brown person there so itwas like I was getting called like the Pword most of the time and I was likewhat the hell's going on so being quiteyoung in primary school didn't reallyenjoy primary school too much becausealways like an outsider don't know if itwas because I was moving so much ormaybe I just wasn't people's kind ofguided which is not a problem and then Idon't know what just literally got intohigh school and then I was like well Idon't want that happening again it's notsomething one happening teenage hormonesare last like kicking in you know thatwas ragingdifferent kind of world with high schoolyou thinking what's going on here I'velearnedreally from lucky s7 I mean if if I'mhonest when I was in the s7 array I wasbit of know a kid or what Liars used toend up in isolation call hi a lot I'mnot sure well I am sure why but I feellike the school was quite strict as wellso any little minor thing I did wouldbasically be picked up on which is not abad thing I guess it took me to maturemuch quicker and this just kind oflasted to around year 10 I was like wellit ain't about who's got the biggest thebiggest this the biggest bat who can dothis who can do that because the realitydoesn't make any difference at all it'sjust you can crack on with themselvesand look after themselves and then whenI got to about year 11it just kind of semi just came out of myshell bit more because you know kind ofa person that it loves to talk to peopleI'm not sure why always been my thingyou knoweven now this like being on the podcastI read messaging you know I just lovetalking to peoplestead of me being stuck to my fault I'mwell I just beat somebody okay I canintake this knowledge from you how can Iapply this to my life oh you can do itlike this so like Erin you may say to meI'll do it this way and I may not evensing this other perspective because Imaybe so maybe I don't know deleted withmy own which is better for me to realizeobviously social media you know thephones are great but sometimes a lot ofpeople just end up stuck to it evenmyself at times well of course yeah butit was weird because in s7 like good onwords high school wise I always thoughtto myself I am I'm not fitting in itdoesn't make any sense why can I not dowhat they're doing why can I not do whatthe older people I did not realize and Ishould have enjoyed it more in themoment so I was okay cool that's not aproblem and then as soon as I started tocome up my shell but yeah 11 time youknow starts being two more people it waslike a lot more people were coming to mecame to six form where it was prettymuch the biggest change definitely fullycame out my child say I'm you know notin a cocky way oh I'd say I'm quitetalkative bubbly loving and caringperson mm-hmm so I guess it's kind ofcame with some baggage as well because Icouldn't even realize with somebody thatwas trying to maybe mess me around infront of my faceI want to realize because I think theyhave the same heart as me hmm so Iwouldn't even realize anything like thatand then obviously you know that youlive and learn obviously as you growingup and I think for teenagers now it'shard because everybody's trying tosorry for the language but fuck eachother over unless they're really genuinebecause they're like oh I have this ormy dad's got this my mom's got this whatdoes yours has what does your has yourshave I've got this PlayStation you don'thave it oh you don't have it why not oryou know just the little - things whichis you know it's no part of generalgoing on but I guess you don't realizethat until you actually do start to growup and like me going up into a man nobit of an awkward age at the moment 19kind of in the middle teenager turnedinto a young actual man now if you knowme like 18 years the normal designatedage anyways for when they say you were ayoung adult voice you're still in thatin between mm-hm if you know what I meanand then yeah like obviously then I wentto uni as well so just finished my firstyear basically thought I'd stay outfirst year get a bit more independenceand you know again actual experience oflike the halls or whatever like you knowhow everybody hyped up or whatever andit was great experience met some amazingpeople really amazing people some peoplewith some really good hearts but youmeet some give me some weird ones aswell it's really weird people you knowsome people may just want to use andabuse some people actually may want tohang around with you or some people justwant to distract you so you've just gotto make sure that you stay true toyourself and keep with a good heart atall timesso it seems that until at leastUniversity you were trying to one figureout who you are but to also figure outhow people are and I suppose especiallywith the last one it doesn't reallychange I mean I'm a little bit olderthan you but I still go through thatsituation where I'm still trying tofigure out why people are the way theyare or why certain people don't act theways for instance that I act so I willalways go in with good intentions andthen all of a sudden you'll realise thatother people's intent isn't necessarilythe same as yourself so I suppose apiece of advice having gone through thatprobably a little bit more than yourselfis just try and at least be wary ofpeople's intent because some peoplemight come across as almost like thegreatest people that you've ever seenbut then you will find later on oncethey get what they need to extract fromyou as a person you'll find they'll kindof disappear so that's just kind of likea piece of advice but you touched onsome prevalent things that I candefinitelythink about when I was a kid soespecially in the Punjabi culture thewhole drinking and how much can youdrink it's a purely ego thing 100% Ifell into that I fell into almostdamaging my health at the fact of I needto keep up with people when I drinkwhere is now I'd like to think of myselfas slightly more matured if I don'tfancy a drink I would just say that'senough for me and I'll kind of walk awayfrom it but again it's a learning lessona few points I've just made not of aswell that I want to just touch on so youwere always a naughty kid and you'realways I mean you've got yourselfexcluded for trying to bite somebody'snose but then all of a sudden thingsstarted to change and you said somethingwhich I thought was quite important andit was you opened up and the moment youstarted to open up you felt people startto gravitate towards you more I justwant this in relation to that then wasthat a sort of force thing or was thatjust you thinking okay there's no pointme just being this shy person when Ihave so much more to show to the worldobviously I was looking at other peoplethinking how are they doing this why somany people coming to them I'm just youknow I'm worrying too much about otherpeople now you know I actually need tolisten unlike for me and I've alwaysbeen quite open anyways quite if I wantsomething or if I want a fun one andknow something or I want to saysomethingI will say because I just get that offmy parents as well because if they wantto say something they'll just say theydon't they don't be around the bush Idon't see the point either because thenyou're just passing around make it morefuss than need to be so then literally Ijust try to be myself and I was likeokay this about in the year 11 more insix form was around a lot of people arecoming to me and I was like okay this isa bit weird I don't really know how tohandle this and what I found was it justcame with a lot of baggage as wellbecause a lot of people were coming tome but I was like even me me being adumb ass at times I want to realize thatsome people are just there to use me forpopularity or whatever it was and it'sokay though because like I learned fromit like it made me learn that somepeople like you you don't need to hangaround with these people all the timeyou don't need to hang around with apopular crowd it just doesn't make adifference we should be working towardsbetter in the world absolutely I thinkthat's a valid point and just on thatbasis you just reminded me of somethingthat you said earlier as well so yousaid initially obviously you find itdifficult to fit in and then you saidwhich isa problem like literally straight afterand I thought I was that was quite aclever point that you made plus it alsoshows your intelligence that you'rethinking a lot differently because atthat age it is all about fitting in itis all about being the coolest kid onthe block getting the most likes onInstagram and being that that kind ofperson what I want to ask you is whenyou start to be yourself and things weremore positive and obviously you know isthis and you've just explained it do youknow why you wasn't yourself prior tothat I just think are always quite sincesince being young I've always been quiteobservant a bit more like bit or notalways been an awful thinker I'm notsure why I just I've always thought thatI need to be doing more than I need thenI am or I need to be doing pair but youcan't be because like that's that'swhere I got to university now and I'veonly just realized now that you can't beperfect in everything you do and mebeing like a lot of perfectionist when Iwas in school you know I was about toget the best grades etc you know GCSEwas okay you know six form I did quitewell and I just thought you could beperfect but as a human you just can't beperfect so then I started to realizejust be myself I'm always gonna have myflaws as everybody else will have thefloors it just depends who wants to staywith you and still accept your flaws andaccept you you want 100 percent I thinkyou just hit the nail on the head thereas humans you can't be perfect there isno such thing as perfect and this is oneof the things that I suppose even when Istarted this podcast it was to showpeople look I'm just a shy person I'm ananxious person even in this conversationwith yourself on making mistakes um forgetting my words and stuff as well andsometimes it's about embracing yourvulnerabilities your weaknesses and thennext time just trying to be a little bitbetter so I think that's a very goodlesson for anyone in your situation andjust I'm gonna finish it actually onanother thing that you mentioned as wellwhich was when you said in relation tohow people may not have the same intentas you is that it's okay you learn fromit and it sounds easier in hindsight butI think if we can all take ourexperiences your life not not as apersonal attack but more as a sort oflearning experience I think it helpsyour mental sanity a lot more so I'vehad people for example where a similarsituation to yourself where I'm thinkingwhy hasn't that worked out or why is theperson acting in this way that you knowa normal person wouldn't think isethicalor the right way and rather thandwelling on that and then thinking I'mnot worthy of receiving a good person inmy life what I do is I take that as alesson and I think okay fair enough thatperson's got what they wanted out ofthis relationship but next time I'llhave more experience and I'll be wiserfrom it and if a similar type of personcomes along I will know to move on awayfrom that situation if that makes senseyeah like even what I said like it'slike even whoever is it can only be alesson a blessing or like you know likethey're there for life whether it's afriend or a family memberabsolutely absolutely so we've touchedon University and how you've developedin terms of one trying to find outexactly who you are you feel a lot morecomfortable now in the way that you areyou've slid into my DMS you happilyspeak into other people I think that's agreat way that we should be in the worldespecially coming from a very shy personI wish I had the confidence just to kindof put my hand out or just smile atpeople openly in the world because eventhrough my very short experience on thispodcast I've met some incredible peopleand I realize that I'm at my happiestwhen I'm connecting with people and whenI'm getting on with people so I thinkit's fantastic that you're doing that atsuch a young age what have you donesince University or what are you lookingto now achieve moving forward in lifemoving forward obviously on your firstyear Aston University doing businessmanagement great unique kind of thetypical thing probably I'd be void yes Iwant IT typical thing but all in allfrom young always like I'm just alwayswanting to be self-employed it's notthat like okay it's decent working forpeople if they give you decent benefitsbut what I find is that if you cancontrol your own destiny and you canbuild what you want to build him it maynot be something that you know now likeeven me I'm still like what do I dodo I go this way do I go that way it'sstill not no but I guess there's stilltime to figure it out it's not like lifeis short but it's also long as well andyou know there is some days but you'llbe lazy and there's some days where youjust don't have a clue what you do butit's like pretty much everybody's fakingit until they can make it basically intheir own ways which is not a bad thinghow can everybody know what's going onreally because then really trying tofigure themselves out figure where theirfoundations are in the world for me Iwant to build my sample the best I canbemy parents have allowed me to have a lotof freedom and it's right like evenpeople come up to mewhyyou moment that's all like cool withyou what like that my dad is my dadhe'll know when to tell me like straightto the pointbut he'll even have a conversation withme like we're like best friends wish Ilook and the same thing I can do with mymama's also you know I'm glad that hadparents like that got two lovely sistersas well you know they're growing up nowyou don't even realize how much they'regrowing up until you actually see themyou thinking that how did you get tallerit's all a crazy one even myself I lookin the mirror I think where did thisbeard come from I always wanted to be atthis person's got a beard why can I haveone but they just comes in your own timeas everything does absolutely unlike formyself you know I think for the Barrettbarrage I am today like I would say formyself I'm a loving caring humble butmore selective person based on theexperience that I've already had becauselife is already hard as it is life'salready the responsibility is gonnastart ended up piling up anyways sothere's no point it would be negativeyou could have just got to try be aspositive as possible absolutely I thinkthat's really well said and thisactually helped me massively my mindsetand hopefully can help the listeners aswell is the moment I realize that everysingle person is just figuring it outand regardless of their externalappearance or how they seem to have itall together and realize it actuallythey don't and just like you just likeme just like the person listen to thiswe're all just figuring it outnobody's give us the perfect blueprintfor life I don't believe that one existsyeah I think it's brilliant that youknow that on 19 because at 19 I was Ithink I was starting you need do myfirst qualification and I had no ideawhat I was doing I didn't know what Iwanted to become the kind of person Iwant you to be remembered forI was not aligning anything with myvalues on my ethics and this issomething that obviously you're nowgoing through that journey and everyonearound your age is gonna actually gothrough but I think if you can all justtake one lesson away and just know thatyou don't have to have it all figuredout in fact I'm now under a little bitolder where I'm still trying to figureout what am I going to be doing in thenext five years in ten years and whathappens is as we start to grow as peoplethrough our own personal development ourawarenessbe more selective which I thought was abrilliant thing that you pointed out aswell then you're automatically findyourself moving towards things that youlove andyour passion projects hence my podcasthere so I said brilliant and today likeI said you're a lot wiser than I was atyour age hopefully thank you hopefullyyou continue so I was going to ask youabout your routine but I'm prettycertain I know how most uni studentslive their life at uni so here's andthere's nothing wrong with that becauseit's all it's all part and parcel of thejourney I mean my university meeting wasliterally vodka kabobs hangover andwhatever whatever I could find on TV soexactly so I'm not gonna embarrass youabout that but I want to move on tosomething that might be able to givesomebody again some value from thisinterview is about adversity so if youcan think of maybe like a time and Iknow you're still young yet but I stillbelieve that we become the kind ofpeople we are because of the lessons ofthe journeys that we go through so ifyou could think of a lesson of adversityor a problem that you face and then moreimportantly once you've shared that ifyou could just tell us what you learnedfrom it can i this question if I - okaybecause I think what I found has givenme the biggest shock this year isholding on to people okay you knowhaving expectations of people because ittold me a lot this year because you knowyou know how it is lobbying a young ladyou think these are my boys man theseare doing it all I'm gonna do it as wellyou know and it will work in the samecycle and don't get me wrong it's allgood to have your friends your boyswhatever you want to call them but youhave to realize when your energy is notbeing valued or serving you and somebodyif they're not going to value it becausea lot of people are just there to prettymuch just take the mick and they'dalready care what's going on your lifethey just won't know because if youaren't doing better than them thinkingwhy can't I do that myself as well thatyou know again not in an arrogant wayare all like you know I'm friends withgirls I don't see them like anydifferent 2ml you know we're human atthe end of the day and a fun you knowsometimes you know it may sound bad tosay as well you know more for genderequality and stuff but sometimes girlsare just a bit more sensible with theirthinking you're a feeso whereas lads will just be like wellwe'll be looking at each other what doyou want to do your should we have adrink shall we do this mainly it justdepends on the crowd that you surroundyourself with so once you find thatright crowd that's when it will be allgood and well but it's just fine in thatright crowd and finding who you to stayaway from here to stay with you know Iseek quite a lot of validation fromothers as wellwell all in all I don't need to worryabout if it's good for myself and when Ilook back at it now it was good it wasgreat every single timeand if I didn't look at other people allthe time then you know I would havestarted to appreciate myself a lotearlier but now I'm glad that I'm snowyoung and still learning now learningnow that I only need to worry about ifit looks good for me and not anybodyelse because you're the only one thatyou have in this world you know you haveyour family that you keep close friendsyou you know friends are the family thatyou choose and you know y'all needed tocare what you think of yourself as awhole and a fair for you that you canreally trust and that's the bottom linereally for me absolutely Matt I thinkthat's a brilliant point that you justmade there and I think some of the stuffthat you're explaining now isn't stuffthat I believed that we had to gothrough especially my generation or thegenerations older than myself becausethe whole getting validation from yourpeers or getting validation from socialmedia it's become a massive massiveproblem in societyand you also touched on a very goodpoint as well in relation to women beingmore sensitive and more I suppose opento talking about their feelings and thisis something that I really want to tryand work on in the future is getting mento open up about their vulnerabilitiesand talk about their weaknesses and allthings that they struggle with becausemale suicide is far too high for what itshould be in fact it should never bemental health is obviously poor as wellwith males as well and I just think wehave such a bravado and this kind of wehave to show strength all the time thatwe're almost too afraid to kind of speakand it causes problems so I think it'sgreat that maybe it's you as anindividual hopefully it's morewidespread across your community thatyou guys are at least acknowledging thatthere is this lead here in your societyso I think that's brilliant I think it'salso important that anyone in your agerange or anyone going through whatyou're going through doesn't seekvalidation externally it's all aboutreceiving internal validation firstyou've got to love yourself beforeanyone else out they can love youbecause irrespective of what they saywhen it comes down to it you sit in yourown mind on a daily basis on your bottomyour mind can be your best friend or itcan actually be your enemy so you reallyneed to work on that so it's reassuringfor me listening to you to know thatyou're in a much better place understandI mean I think like even how you sayingthey're sorry to cut you off is no noyou can with mental health and you knowthat even as you said the suicide goal Ididn'tthat myself that male suicide is goingup but with mental health like I find itsuch a big cuz even myself like I won'tsit here and I say I haven't been for itmyself I have because I always thinklike you know I've been there in my bedfeeling low as how old you know feelingfeeling rock but I'm thinking you knowand people will say to me what do youhave to stress about you're only 18 19and that's okay that's so cool that'sthere like we used to get on with itback in the day but it's just it's notthe same because we've got all thisaccess to social media nowadays we'vegot people trying to make themselveslook better put like different like youknow brightnesses on their pictures orincrease the brightness of their face ontheir pictures and you know you may meetsome people they don't like this day andthen they're not actually like whatwe've been trying to portray they areand social media and that's what F's itall up because you can't betray yourselfto be something on social media and whenyou meet the person you like well thisperson just the whole different spectrumand with mental health advice it'salways like you can you can do betterthan the other person who you can F overthe other person who can keep on goinguntil some like it's like a it's like arat race like a wolf kind of like a wolfpack sort of thing who can be the thewolf that climbs at the my own first andand all the other ones are trying tolike basically just drag him down andit's hard because you know even withPunjabi community once again they'realways like well if you say to them thatyou have a mental health problem wellthey'll just be like okay no problemjust deal with it yeah I mean it can'tbe that way because I'll getting worsenow and there's only more awarenessabout it now because of social mediawhich the benefits of social media aswell and all this kind of stuff I thinkthat's a that's a great point and againfor the listeners that it's a lot harderand I kind of do sympathise with youguys coming up in this generation wheresocial media has this good parts but ithas this kind of evil tail to it as wellwhere I never had to deal with that sogrowing up for me when I was going touniversity and we were drinking andpartying his sirwe were never worried about taking snapsor or having a whole night out lookingthrough the lens of our phone it wasjust kind of being there in the momentin experience in it and then ourself-worth wasn't pretty much like thatoh absolutely and at the same time ourself-worth wasn't predicated on the factof when we go home at the end of thatnight who got the most likes on that forthe most engagement for example so I'mvery grateful for that and I think it'simportant that you mentioned that but Ijust want to say something else that youmentioned as well because you've said ita few times now and it's probably moreso because of youris that you seen everyone F each otherover because of like you're almostseeing it like a rat race and I thinkthe rat race thing is an important thingand I've tweeted something this morningit was taken from Wayne died and it's avery good quote which i think is quiteuseful for where we are right now inthis show and what he says is we're inpartnership with all other human beingsit's not a contest to be judged betterthan some and worse than others and Ithink if we all sin ourselves a sort ofpartnering up with humans and trying tohelp each other move forward in thislife because at the end of the day we'reall figuring it out as we've touched onearlier I think the world will be insuch a better place but we have thisscarcity mindset where we think in orderfor me to move forward I have to standon somebody else or put somebody elseaside as opposed to saying yeah why do Ihold your hand and we'll move togetherand you're always quicker and strongertogether so I think it's reassuring tohear that you're you've got that mindsetand I think if you remain selective likeyou mentioned earlier I think you'll getthe right network around you toobviously help yourself move forward Ithink what it is as I it's always thatyou've got you right it's always at alland everything as well it's like that'sif you want to create a business rightit's always a trial and everything wherehumans are like you may trust one andthen they may break your trust and youmerge that listen with your whole heartand that's not bad that's not thatshouldn't people shouldn't beatthemselves up if that happens becauseit's a learning lesson that means thatperson wasn't meant to be in your lifeand that means that there's better tocome because even even anyways thatyou've got to have some good days tohave some bad days you've got to havesome bad days to have some good daysit's just as simple as that and you justgotta take the positives that are veryfrom that you can't absolutely meabsolutely yes sir very wise words for a19 year old so appreciate I'll get at meso you're now in your first yearUniversity you've made massive strideswith your talent and your emotionalintelligence is really really high whichis nice to hear what saves you very goodquestioncurrently in my life at the moment whatscares me is not being able to provide acomfortable life for our potentialfuture wife and kids you know not beenough hub I'm a family now my mom dadmy sisters you know they're gonna wantto get married and well yeah I thinkthey're gonna need help with fine likefinance is not the be end and end allbut it does make life with more freedommore comfort so you know if there'ssomething that Idude help them make their life easierand maybe I don't know let's say I hadanother source of income I could give itto them I'd be happy to do that but it'sjust you've got a we're card for thesethings my mom you know she's a teacherherself so you know I always see yesshe's always stressed out so she'salways coming you know she'll be withwork all day she'll be coming back inthe market papers you know tour about9:00 10:00 at night I don't know shedoes it and then repeat the day mybiggest fear is not making their lifeeasier and my biggest fear is not beingable to provide a comfortable life formyself and the family around meI think you've almost answered the nextquestion as well which I was going toask about the motivation so it seemsthat your motivation right now is to beable to successfully graduate and thenprovide different streams of income tofacilitate one obviously your sister'sgetting married helping your parents athome and then obviously giving yourselfthe kind of life that you want as wellyeah because like even for me as welland working under people just kind ofget under my skin a bit to be honest butyou're gonna have to do the minute youagree for a couple years of your lifebecause that's the way it is when you'reyoung as well you know people have toldme that that's the way and you justgotta work hard you've got to keep yourchin up which is not a problemso like currently now I'm working atNando's which is not a problem I'm happyI'm happy for the free Nando's I can'tcomplain but it's a good job for me nowbut could I see myself doing that whenI'm what thirty years old I wouldn'tlike to think so often - because youknow even though it's a good job youknow dealing with customers thatstraight rude or having so much pressureput on you and you know running back andforth running back and forth it's allgood while I'm young but maybe when Iget older maybe I may not just have thatenergy that's interesting firstly I'mhoping I get a free round after thispodcast session is on oh yeah that'sjust as good the weird thing is thereason I'm touching on does is oneeveryone knows I absolutely love Danlosbut tea when I was at university it justopened on Birmingham Broad Street and Iremember sitting there oh I workedliterally all the way through Universityso I went to the same uni as youAston uni and I always had a job noWayans yeah yes I had a job on theweekends and my aim I remember whenNando's opened after trying it I waslike man I really wish I had a job atNano so it's funny how the world worksbut there was a point in time wherehaving a job at Nando's was literally mydream job at least for that period inone yeah time so appreciate where youareappreciate or the good thingbe grateful for everything that's comingyour way now it's taught me like youknow it's told me that hard to grit myteeth who went there a lot of rudecustomers come in so you have to lookafter it like it's like it sounds a bitweird like it's like your own family youhave to keep it clean the place becausethat's where people are going to come inlike you know if you come into the storyyou want to make sure everything isclean you want to make sure the food'son point cannot attend not 9 out of 10because it's not if it's not 10 out of10 then you know you're not going to behappy with the service at all you knowhave a smile on your face and just keepon going like keep your chin up evenwhen it gets hard like even for mesometimes I'll be like I'm just touchingmy forehead thinking flirty arm and Ineed a break but you just got to keep ongoing absolutely me absolutely we'reactually at the fun part the show nowthere is no right or wrong answer butjust try and say the first thing thatcomes in your head we're gonna go inthree two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be judgmental peoplepeanut butter and Nutella peanut butteryour biggest role model biggest rolemore mom what would you like to beremembered for being Who I am yourbiggest goal this year to just keep onworking hard no matter how hard it getsyour worst mistake is listening to otherpeople about a certain person if youcould relive one day again what daywould it be 26 of May two years ago whyit was just everybody was therefamily friends you know we was at myhouse and it was just you just wantedmost be of things you know honestly Iread I really loved that day I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when your fame that's a hardon max I'm thinking well with things youcan get money but then what I say moneyyour favorite food the mix grown andokay speak our languages will be able tospeak to animals animals what song bestdescribes your life Dizzee Rascalbonkers would you rather know how youwould die or when you would die andfinally if you could sit with one personin the world for an hour who would it beprobably my baby my grandma I love thatso the next question it's aboutreflection and I'm a firm believer thathindsight is a wonderful thing and itteaches us ways to get there quickereasier and we're less heartachebut I'm also an avid believer that thejourney teaches us so much as well interms of his lessons so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone particular moment knowing everythingthat you know right now and whispersomething to a younger barrage whatwould you say I just said to myself I'dsay barrage do you not worry it will allcome to you in the end you will not endup failing you are not a quitteryou are not inclined to please otherpeople put yourself first say no if youdon't want to do it it's as simple asthatenjoy the present moment more don't looktoo much into the future ruining yourfull process already and don't look backwith pain in your heart these are thebroken pieces of the puzzle which yousaw might end up still piecing togetherhave fun and live life enjoy your youthdon't look too much into girlsalcohol or any other distractions justtry and discipline yourself more keepyourself closed off but keep yourselfliving and humble always may I love thatI want you to do me a favor after thispodcast and actually send me thatwritten form and that was almost likepoetic you mentioned something therethese are the broken pieces and thepuzzle that's still in the piecingtogether but I want to do it just thisso if you can send me that at yourtranscript or what I'll do is I'mactually gonna bring them out separatelyno problem I mean I even I even do havea separate poetry account as well that Ido must like check it out if you haveany time yeah it's on my new profile butit's on its good word under school andschool oh okay check that as wellbrilliant so suddenly that actuallybrings us to the last question and thelast question that I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time science failsto save us and all that exists is a bookand this book is about you andeverything that you've achieved in yourlife all your weird and wonderful dreamshave been accomplished what I want toknow is firstly what would the title ofthe book say and secondly what would theblurb at the back tell us about you Iwrote yesterday I said you know he waslike I know other he persevered like noother he had himself he was elegantclean hearted charming and crazy hewould always go the extra mile for thosewho were close to his heart at times endup hereall in all he always tried to see thebright side of life the world is alreadytoo cold and entangled in its ownpleasures to not be positiveof that as powerful have you got a titlefor that the title the life of aninquisitive man brilliant me if youwouldn't mind could you give us the bestsources via social media where we cancontact you Instagram I love being oninstagram my instagram is under schoolbeat up for a while its be PU or e w alquite active on snapchat as well is beatup for a while again be pu r e w althey're the main ones I'm active on tobe honest ok no problem so what I'll dois for everyone listening today I'mgonna make sure I put all of the linksso you can contact barrage directly verysocial media as you've probably seenfrom some of these answers today's verypoetic so I'll be following them on hisInstagram poetry handle as well myselfstraight after thisI want to thank Mirage for being openabout his story and sharing it andhopefully this influences and inspiresmany others and I want to thank everyoneat home for listening thank you thankyou and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 23 "She's just a normal girl" by Kelli Doorne #23Tagline: "Even when times are tough, she still believed that kindness was her super power and that's what got her through... " - Kelli DoorneKelli Doorne, has finally found her voice, and I am the first to say YES!Kelli bravely, opens up and shares her story of how she left home in her teenage years and became homeless. Realising that she was opting to run away when things got bad during her young years, Kellis fight of flight response never saw her stand up take account and fight.But things have moved on so much because, even as a struggling teenager who couldn't find her way in life she always relied upon her Kindness and believed deep down that this would supersede all her problems and see her through. In agreement with her thoughts, we both emphasise what a better place the world would be if we could all just be kind to one another and help each other more often, because it's the right thing to do.On a final note, knowing how much courage this took from Kelli to openly come onto the podcast and share her story I want to acknowledge her for her bravery, for the work she does in Milton Keynes and wish her all the best in the future.I also would urge you all to follow her journey but just don't tag her into anything that is related to Octopus!Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kelli.doorne Have an awesome day & #JustDeuit & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the host Arenof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so firstly I just wantto begin once again by saying thank youto every single one of you who havetaken time out of your day to try andlisten to our episodes I hope you findthem inspiring and motivating and I hopethey at least add some level ofinformation or tangible actions andsteps that you can incorporate in yourlife now moving on to today's episodeagain this is somebody who I think isperfect for this show it's somebodywho's struggled to almost find her voiceand somebody who has suffered with somelevel of adversity but also in terms ofjust sharing her story up until todayshe's found her voice and alongside thatshe's also in a position now where shewants to have a positive impact onpeople who are perhaps going throughsimilar situations so this is afantastic story with Kelly who sufferedwith homelessness and quite a few otherups and downs as well in her life butmore importantly what I really lovedabout this story was how it kind ofsegwayed into human qualities and weended up speaking a lot about kindnessnow I'm not sure about you guyslistening but I personally thinkkindness is one of the number-oneattributes that we should all what weshouldn't be born with really but Isuppose some of us can perhaps learn tobe more kind but I think if you all hadthat in the back of our heads in all ourday-to-day actions I think the worldwould just be a better place so withoutfurther ado let's get this episode onits way so firstly I just want towelcome Kelly to the show today and Iwant to thank the listeners for tuninginso Kelly how are you doing today yeahgood Erin thanks thanks so muchhave me you're very welcome you're verywelcome so Kelly I'm myself actually weboth had a couple of drinks over theweekend I had in mind 48 hours beforeand you can probably still hear it in myvoice but Kelly obviously sounds muchbetter than myself so it's great to haveyou finally herewe have had to rearrange a few times allmy fault that's all right well I'm justglad that you're here today because Ithink your story is going to be veryinspiring for a lot of people and Ithink to get it started basically whatwe can do is if you wouldn't mind isjust give the listeners a little bitabout yourself a little bit about yourjourney your story and what basicallybrings you on the show find your voicetoday all right okay well first of allit's absolutely terrifies mebut the reason I'm on here today is I amusing my story of when I was homelesswhen I found myself homeless at 16 toraise awareness and money to support alocal charity that goes a long way tohelping the poverty and homelessnesssituation in Milton Kings I'm quite aprivate person really but sometimes youjust have to use what you've got inorder to get resultsso I guess my my journey starts reallyin Nigeria which is where I was born Iwas born is there be no quite a lovingfamily and but my dad was an alcoholicand we went through some some troublingtimes but the most of what I remember asa as a youngster really was my mum andher strength not not too much about mymy real dad and we I have another sisterand a brother who's disabled mum had alot on a plate and we spent a lot oftime why spend a lot of time kind ofbeing ferried about between my Nan'shouse and my mum's house and kind ofhaving two homes I guess mm-hmm so heyeah eventually mum kicked dad out forthere for the final time and we we movedquitefew miles away to be moved up to NewportPagnell which is just on the outskirtsof Milton Keynes that stage of my lifewas where it is interesting I feltreally ostracized out of place anddifferent from everybody I'd grown up inin London my mother in North London andI felt a bit rough I felt like so rougharound the edges and all my new friendshad pretty long blonde hair and therewas me with like brown spiky hair and ifelt quite different but nevertheless wekind of made it you know we made it wemade it through really my mum my sisterand I um just by keeping quite tight andbut then but then things started tochange and I don't know you know whatyour experience offers being a teenagerbut actually with the hormones andchanges and friend groups and you knowexpectations and all different stuffcomes into your life and at that point Ikind of started to break away from myfamily and my sister had moved out andshe was she was my rock my mum had a newboyfriendand soon to be married they had a newbaby and everything kind of changed forme and instead of dealing with it I at13 I found raves and I started going outraving instead right so that was reallythe point in my life where you know Istart to pay a bit too hard and a bittoo young and it was at a point when Ithink it's like 19 3 maybe a little nonot 93 sorry a little bit later when mymy sister was a couple of years old thenincident happened where I thought Ithought that I might have have reallyhurt my little sister and I and Ifreaked outand instead of once again dealing withit and talking to my familyI just ran away and I ran away from homenobody knew where I was I didn't know Ididn't quite understand it myselfand by just yeah I had to escape so Iended up sleeping in hostels under abridge one night and it was a is prettyterrifying it's pretty terrifyingWow but I don't even know to start withthat there's so many things that I wantto pull out from your story there if wejust quickly go on that a last bit thatyou mentioned so you were sleeping inhostels you were sleeping under bridgeshow long did this period lasts for wellit's our monastery no don't I can'tquite remember and it's gonna be like acouple of weeks where I was I hadliterally nothing no home no nothing Iwas surviving by as I go into the hostelthey give me a cup of tea and a biscuitin the evening I remember then I had togo and sleep in these dormitories andthey have like plastic sheets from thebed and you know I was sixteen years oldonly 16 years old and I was actually runaway from home for about six months wentback tried living at home and then ranaway again because but obviouslyostracized myself at that point quitedrastically but the period of actuallylike being entirely homeless wasprobably a few weeks my first stepsgoing to the church eating lunch is islonely so lonely Wow I mean I can onlyimagine I've heard I've heard storiesand we have been very fortunate to havehad somebody who suffered withhomelessness on this show earlier whenwe first started and it's even the wayyou described it now it almost soundshorrific I mean even at home in my owncomfort of my own home when when theheating's low you feel that straightaway so to imagine as a very youngteenager 16 year old having to cope withthat but one of the things that I foundprevalent from your story and a coupleof times you mentioned it was wheneversomething was going wrong you werealmost running away as opposed to kindof facing your fear yeah and theI want to point that out just for theaudience as well because obviously we'vespoken offline as well and you coming onthis show has has taken the immensecourage so I fully appreciate and I'mvery grateful you're sharing this storybecause I know what it's like to haveanxiety to have shyness to kind of findyour voice if we use the cliche and I'mvery grateful that you're in a positionnow obviously wiser from the experienceand everything that you've been throughto now use your voice to do the greatthings like you mentioned the localcharity that you're now working with inMilton Keynes which is fantastic becauseI'm sure that's gonna help people whomay be in a similar situation toyourselfon that note though are you finding iffor instance you went through someadversity today are you still doing thewhole fight-or-flight thing and are youable to kind of stay there and fight oryou still seeing yourself fleeing fromthe situation my my natural stay is isto walk away absolutely it is to walkaway and I sometimes that's a that's astrength sometimes you know not fightingis M is always a good thing not to fightbut at the same time sometimes whenyou're going through situations you youand especially if when you're young youneed somebody to help you face thoseproblems and I don't think I had thesupport structure around me at that timeto help me do that and learn thoseskills potentially think that though thepoint of why I want to share my storyand it's that what knife wasn't awfulfor me it really wasn't you know I wasprobably a grumpy teenager hopefully alittle bit jealous that this new fellowhad moved into my house and there was ababy and you know not the attentionwasn't on me and it sounds really daftbut you know I was a normal child Ididn't get into too much trouble or popfrom going right in I didn't get intotoo much trouble but this still happenedit was I was still on the streets and itcan happen to anyone any point in theirlife and I think it's important foreverybody to recognize that homelessnessdoesn't just happen to drug addicts youknow it doesn't happen to people thatyouyou think it happens - it happens toanybody absolutely I think you just yousaid a very important point there sowe're always one decision away frombeing the situation that you were thereso I would never see someone homelesswhether they drinking or whateverthey're doing as somebody who is adruggie or somebody who's got an alcoholproblem I would just see somebody who'sprobably just made that one bad choiceand then as a spiral has seen themselvesin that in that predicament or in thesituation so I think that's that's areally really useful point and you alsoobviously you've got the self-awarenessnow and that probably comes through lifeand experience that you're a confusedteenager you've sinned in an alcoholicfather and and all the impact thatalcohol can have on families especiallyup to that extent you've then finallymoved away from that situation only forthen your sister to leave you and thenall of a sudden your mom's found a newfellow like you said got a new baby thenall of a sudden you're kind of feelingalmost lost and like you said jealousand I think yes that's probablysomething that we'd all be lying if wesaid we never fallacy at some stage youknow Aren absolutely absolutely I meanI had my younger brother was probablynine years young again probably don'tremember the exact days but I'm surethere were moments when he's probablygetting all the attention and I'mjumping around thinking hey what aboutme what about me over here and thenagain it comes down to your circle sothe one thing I say I was very fortunatewith is my parents sent me to grammarschool not my choice but it's very rareat least growing up for myself to havegrammar school students who were goingto do crazy things on the night I I meanthe most exciting thing we ever did wasrevised for her exams or yeah absolutelyor do a bit of extra studying so Isuppose although at that time I hated itit's probably kept me from doing crazythings because I was very easilyinfluenced as a kid so I'm very veryfortunate for that but I just think it'snice of you now to be in this positionwe're obviously you've learnt a lot andyou said something else I thought wasbrilliant it was sometimes it's astrength to obviously walk away and justto counter that as well sometimes youhave to fight as well and sometimes wehave to also realize that any adversitywe get through life if we can just holdon and maybe persevere through that itbecomes a brilliant gift and it becomessomething that will make you so muchmore resilient to life because whetheryou admit it now or not is it just thosefew yearsyou've lived on the streets and theexperiences that you've overcame itmakes you such a stronger person I thinkwhen you when you look at things Ibusiness it yeah they sayfail fast so sometimes walking away isthe is the best thing you can do butsometimes you just need to stick out forthat one minute more to get the resultsthat you want and that happens in bothlife and business I'm saying I couldhave stayed at home at that point when Ithought I'd hurt my sister and faced itand I could have just stayed eat livingin a you know in a loving environment Idon't know what my life would have beenlike if I'd done that you know insteadof wandering around the streets notknowing this back in 1996 our and Ididn't know what the time was even andso yes it's been walking around thestreets at that point in my life this issilly at the same time from a selfishperspective if you had stayed in thatloving environment and not going intothis homeless world you wouldn't be onnational today to share your story andalso to kind of inspire other peoplebecause like you said there's so manyother people out there making probablythe same decisions as yourself and if wecan just make them maybe think twice ormaybe understand why they're doing itbecause as a teenager sometimes we justwe don't even know why we do the thingsthat we do so I think that's reallyimportant okay fantastic so you'vetouched on business towards the end ofthat and you said obviously this timeswhere we need to just try that one moretime or there are times where we need tomove away what's a day like for you nowobviously you know I'm hoping it's notunder bridges and it's not insurance sowhat's a day my life like I've Kelly Icould say that I'm in a lovely warmloving home again now and I have twochildren so they're both teenagers and14 and very soon to be 16 and and I'mwith my fiance and we're getting marriednext year but congratulations thanksvery much and routine for me freaks meoutI read the word routine like okay thishas me somuch as I probably do have one I try notto think about it too much I don't evenlike the fact that my diary tells mewhat to do quite stubborn that'sinteresting yeah and but I'm quitecreative I like I like making stuff up Ilike doing what I need to do at the timeand going with my feeling and so yeahthe word routine freaks me outdoes it bring out your rebellious sidefor you think no I just don't want to doit yeah I just say I don't want to dothat right now I want to do somethingelse and but I'm sure I have one I meanI always cup of coffee into first thingin the morning okay after that it's whatI need to get done rather than what Ishould know what I don't set routine formyself understood and what what do youdo for work and business now and so I doI am a marketing coach so I coach newbusinesses on marketing but I work for acouple of law firms as well on theirbrand and marketing fantastic they'll beuseful for the audience as welllistening okay brilliant so we'veobviously touched on probably yourbiggest adversity now in life in termsof confused teenager finding herselfharmless in a place where we wouldn'tprobably wish anyone to be in thatactual moment sleeping rough and notknowing where your next meal is comingfrom well not knowing what the time wasas you said what's the biggest lessonsthat you've learned in that experiencethat you can share with the audience askfor help yeah I think there's some ofthe things I didn't do I didn't know howto ask for helpI remember one days that were going intotheir hostel and I the person he wasthere the night support person turnedout to be my month Mike one of my schoolfriends mums Wow and I mean I would havethought that I would have been soembarrassed like cripplingly embarrassedbut you know whatit wasn't embarrassed I was gratefuljust to see a face that I recognized andI think if I look back on my time Icould have just said to her I need helpyou know get me back my family I need Ineed something to help meand I didn't and so at that point thenalthough you were running away from youstill wanted to come home it wasn't akind of a matter of you wanted to getaway from that situation you just he wasalmost like a cry for help would you sayyeahyeah definitely I was just I was soterrified that I'd hurt my sister atthis point of my life I didn't know forsure whether she was hurt or not itturns out that she wasn't turns out thatwhat I had going on in my head wascompletely made-up and she wasabsolutely fine but I was just so scaredthat I've done something wrong and I hadto that's why I ran away Wow and that initself is a lesson I think for everyoneand something that I've probablyexperienced more times than most is thatwe sometimes overthink things and wethink this person is thinking this othersoar this person's going through thiswhen really all we need to do isliterally ask them the question iseverything all righthaven't done something wrong and alsoowning it and I think this is somethingthat I've really kind of got to grips onduring my adult life I mean I'm nearly40 now and so just owning your problemsyes you make a mistake that's okay weall make mistakes it's like hey you knowsome mistakes are worse than others butyou've got to own it you've got to takeresponsibility for it and then you haveto either you know resolve it or moveforward you can't let your mistakes keepyou in the in the past I think that's abrilliant point yeah absolutely takeaccountability for what you have and Ithink the more accountability you cantake for your mistakes providing thatyou learn from and you don't keeprepeating the same ones it actuallygives you a sense of power and I supposepeople will look at you in a differentway you'll look at yourself in adifferent way because otherwise you'reeffectively you just passing the powerover to someone else and you're almostafraid to take that so I think that'sthat's a brilliant yes exactlythank you for sharing that okay sothings are going well for you now whichis lovely to hear you've done you've gota suit to be 16 year old and a 14-yardand you get married next year so greatnews for them and I hope everything'sokay yeah absolutely I hope everything Iwas amazing for that but I want to askyou what's your biggest fear then rightnowoctopus is right okay not expecting thatyeah really I can't look I can't standup this is I think they're way tooclever and and I think they're aliensbut if you put them aside I think it'smy children and if when my children growup I don't want them to reflect on itand say you could have done better forus and I just want to make sure thatthey're happy secure and that they areinspired that they are grounded you knowand above all I think kind kindness thatthey take kindness in through their lifeand I think that's that's my biggestfear and my biggest challenge I'm sureyou do a wonderful job on that and Ithink kindness is it's probably thenumber one thing my mom ever taught meand I'm very very grateful for that andI think I'm sure you're doing theexactly same so there's probably nothingto worry aboutbut the thing we probably should worryabout is octopus's thinking thinkingahead now you haven't booked a honeymoonhave you anywhere close to like theocean or anything no we are the weddingis going to take place right in up inthe top of the outs so we're quite niceand safe from any octopi fantastic okayI was not expecting to answer I've neverheard anyone say that have you actuallyseen octopuses on land that isn't that agood thing because I'm they can help youout in the kitchen no point taken for ittaken well at least you're in themyou said the Alps did you yeah I don'tKelly well well I was sure the best fornext year is are with that and lookingforward to follow you in your journey soyou're doing marketing now and youdefinitely sound like you're in a muchbetter place in terms of your mindsetand your ability to reflect oneverything that's going on in your lifewhat's your biggest sense of motivationand inspiration on a day to day basisother than your kids because I knowyou're gonna probably say your kids asyour first answer so let's choose adifferent answer actually I wasn't okaywhen an my name has been one of thebiggest most their biggest and mostinspiring figures in my lifeshe's not with us anymore sorry Taylorand she passed away five years agoin June by still hear her every dayevery choice I make every signs havewent up thinking about that but she wasso inspiring and the way that shehandled herself for the people hertenacity setting up businesseseverything about her was it was amazingwithout trying to put her on a pedestalshe was simply the best person I've everknownso she inspires me and motivates meevery single day that's brilliant I loveit um I was gonna say I'm very sorry tohear that brace it's a lovely messagethat you said how you still here and youtake that and I'm sure she's probablylooking down whatever you believe in interms of God spirituality or somethingbut I'm sure she's looking down as she'svery very proud eating at me going in myhead I think if she approves that thenI'm happy if I think she wouldn't not somuch it's probably a brilliant way toalmost act out your days because you'realmost thinking you would never want tolet her down and obviously you want hername to be remembered in a nice way soyour actions and everything that you doin the world I mean I know we're all ourown people but I think you're almostliving for her as well if that makessenseso yeah I think that I think that's abeautiful message okay brilliant Kellyso we are actually moving along veryquickly today and we're actually at thefun part of the show so this is the bitwhere I think you were a little bitanxious about because I'm gonna beasking you all sorts of very very easyquestions but I suppose when when thetime is on it can get a little bitoverwhelming but I'm sure you're gonnabe fine indecisive right okay so I takethat back then we might have a bit of astruggle here but let's see how we getonwe're gonna do probably 60 to 90 secondsof just very well I was gonna say easybut let's see how it goes are you readyyeah brilliant okay we're gonna go inthreeone okay what did you eat for breakfastI haven't eaten today if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe Oh crikey that's a hard one and AH Ihave two children that's really tough Ithink the first time I ever helped my mybaby in my arms I would relive that dayagain the first time I ever helped mybaby and I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisable is sneaky but I think like butI think I'd like the feeling of flyingsome swaying who do you admire most inthe world it's still mine own money orfame and money your proudest moment Idon't know I don't know I can I pass Ijust don't know if we can do a few yeahokay your favorite food my favorite foodis cheese choice okayspeak or languages or be able to speakto animals how can you choose likelanguages I guess languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it be and Trump good answer okaywhat song best describes your lifewhat song surprised me hey hi oh I don'tknow titlesI could probably hum it you're welcometo sing it if you want I can't think ofone more pass if you had an extra hour aday how would you spend it on the sofawith my fellow Netflix or YouTubeNetflix your favorite TV show everfriends there's a pretty consistent Iwas gonna say yeah I think that's themost popular answer I've had okay wouldyou rather not how you will die or whenyou were die how your worst fear is achild probably octopuses they still keepcoming back okay what is your biggestaddiction your favorite place in theworld I would I would say at home withmy family but I also have a particularfondness for Byron Bay in Australia Ilove it that place was amazingokay read minds or predict the futureread minds your favorite superherosecond oh my god this is named Owen mannamed Ironman for sure good choice andfinally your biggest strength kindnesslove it love it see that was it too hardactually bless you actually you're thefirst person to have a pass on an answerthough but yeah don't worry thebeautiful thing with podcasting is Ican't edit it out by a flight flightyeah absolutely you walked away it'sfineokay brilliant so Kelly the next thing Iwant to ask you actually then is it'sabout reflection so as we've spokenabout briefly the beginning of thisepisode I saw some wonderful thing andit can teach us a lot it can teach ushow to get to places quicker easier orwith less heartache but I'm a firm firmbeliever that the journey also teachesus a lot and sometimes we have to gothrough these circumstances and thetrials and tribulationsso knowing exactly what you know nowwith all of your knowledge andexperience if you could go back andwe're going to take you back now to yourteenage years which i think is relevantto this story knowing exactly what youknow now what would you whisper in theears of a young Kelly I think be braveand be brave and be brave and posturewhich was I'm looking for tackle yourproblems like deal yeah deal with yourproblems don't run away from them I lovethat that's fine is that a kind of amessage as well that you'd always tryand teach or your kids as well yeah Idon't know how successful I am in doingthat okay thank you parenting is anexperiment in parenting so firstlywhatever works and secondly I've got noidea how they're going to turn out sowhen they're about 25 ask me thatquestion again and we'll see if it worksokay fantastic we'll get you back on theshow brilliant okay so suddenly thatactually brings us to the last questionof the day and the last question arealways ask my guest it's about legacy soif in a 150 years time science fails tosave us all and all that exists is abook and this book is aboutKelly and it tells us all the weird andwonderful things that you've done inlife all the things you've achieved andall your ups and downs firstly whatwould the title of the book be andsecondly what would the blurb at theback tell us about Kelly so it's a hardone I've been thinking about this but atthe same time I remember having aconversation with my best friend a fewyears ago and about this particulartopic and I think that my book would becalled she's just a normal girl becauseeven though I've gone through quite alot in my time when I the stories that Icould tell you about being homelesswould be would be quite shocking and thepeople that I've met and on the way thethe trouble that I could have got intothe trouble I did get into all of thatbut I'm just just a normal girl likethere is no different to me than anyoneelse so I think that would be the titleshe's just a normal girl and withregards to the blurb on the back um Iwould hope the people that read my storyand would say that even though even whentimes are tough she still believed thatkindness was her superpower and that'swhat got her through I love that I loveit I think spreading kindness isprobably probably the best thing we canall teach each other and we could alllearn from absolutely I mean just bejust being kind I actually wrote a postfunnily enough about three hours ago onFacebook and it was it was one of myfirst few things I wrote in therebecause it costs nothing to be kind andthere's actually a few influences nowthere who actually using the wholekindness thing as a sort of as like abuzz word but really shouldn't just besomething that's installed in all of asudden Wow from day one yeah I wish I'dwritten my LinkedIn profile buyeractually goes through all of my corevalues so independents adventurecuriosity connection strength and growthand and then at the end of it it sayswell what about kindness and the waythat I address is is it should just comeas standard absolutely it shouldn't haveto be someone's core value it shouldactually just be live that's what weshould do we shouldn't have to learn ityes it's funny but I don't know Isuppose we're also in a society wherewe're almost firefighting on a dailybasis and where there's people competingwith each other there's a lot ofjealousy there's a lot of scarcitymindset that I tend to find as wellespecially when I started my lotentrepreneurial journeys and went intodifferent fields and it's only recentlynow started to get myself a very goodnetwork of people who just want the bestfor you and when you start living inabundance and realizing that the morepeople you can connect with the morepeople you can help and more people youcan be kind to you just you just spreadsomething that's infectious and andbeing now wanting it back I think theodds of doing without receiving is youknow people need to learn that a lotmore give without wanting to receiveabsolutely without expectationshopefully agree it's funny you just saidthat as well because I I was meeting adevelop and I'm going off on a bit of atangent here but we were speaking aboutthis and I was saying that's kind of myphilosophy is the way again I say againmy mom's always taught me just give butnever expect nothing back because oneyou probably be disappointed but to youknow give if you're giving someonesomething you're giving it them becausemaybe they're not in a position tonecessarily help you back so it's almostsilly to expect them to be able to helpyou back if that makes senseso when you give something and you tryand be kind you try and lift somebody upjust do that and just just be nice aboutit but don't expect them to help youwhen they can barely help themselves ifthat kind of makes sense and I've alwaysjust seen it that way so I've been veryfortunate people now start to help me upin my business and at the same time I'dalways try and reciprocate that withother people as well so I think I thinkKelly that's a beautiful message and onthat actually I'd love it if you couldnot only share your LinkedIn profile forthe guests but also where else you'dfeel comfortable with people reachingout to you if you wouldn't mind maybeafter this show because I think you'remore than just a normal person how youdescribed yourself on the front of thebook it's it's been a lovelyconversation with you I'm glad you'realmost finding your voice and I know wespoke about this previously on Facebookvery briefly and it's got a lot to teachpeople you've got a lot that they canlearn from you and I just think you thishas been a lovely chat so I reallyappreciate you for that and I'd love topour all your reachable social mediaoutlets onto my show notes if that'swhatyeah that'd be fine these if isn'tbusiness the one place that I would likepeople to go to is a Facebook group okayso it's called one-man brand but thepoint of it is and isn't just about youknow having my group it's about having ahive mind so it's about bringing yourskills and your expertise and helpingother people within the group so ifyou're an accountant what whatinformation can you give to other peoplethat was going to help them and showthat you're an expert in your field aswell so that's that's what I'm trying toachieve so anyone in that relation cango there fantastic I think that'sbrilliant I think that's something thatliterally every single person listeningto can probably join on to because wehave to acknowledge it but we allprobably Excel in certain areas morethan others and I think it's aboutrecognizing that so I think that'sbrilliant the hive mind thing are youhappy with people contacting you onFacebook or should we just keep it tothe Facebook group for now yeah I'm openI network and speak to anyone that wantsto anyone that wants to speak back yeahbrilliantagain I'll run and just thank you onemore time for coming on for overcomingyour fears it's been fantastic to hearabout your stories been very inspiringas well and also I want to thank thelisteners at home thanks for listeningthanks and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 20 "It's a curse to call yourself a true Entrepreneur, unless you really are" - Penny Power #20Tagline: "Love is the most powerful force in the world, the more you can live within that energy, be that energy and give that energy the better your life will be "Penny Power, OBE is an incredible woman who could complete a podcast series alone. Having labelled herself as an 'Accidental Entrepreneur' Penny formed the first social network for business owners exceeding 650,000 members. However, as many entrepreneurs can relate, she was then forced to handle many ups and downs along her journey and forced to really look deep within herself. Through a journey of self care and discovery Penny began to deal with depression and really find her true purpose and love for herself. A journey she may even consider tougher than the entrepreneurial one.More importantly than the above, Penny is an extremely proud mother to 3 and wife to her husband all of whom she considers the greatest gift she ever received. Penny now coaches people on a 1-2-1 basis transforming not only their lives but also living her true purpose.From depression, to business, to self care to coaching we discuss so many facets that many of you today can relate too and hopefully take nuggets of information to move your lives forward and find your voice!Please check the links below and follow Penny's journey as she is credible, honest and an overall lovely soul.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.pennypower.co.uk/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PennypowerOBE/Twitter: https://twitter.com/pennypowerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/pennyfpower/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pennypower/Books: https://amzn.to/2DPEvfUHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I'm extremelydelighted to bring to you todaypenny power now for anyone who knowspenny they might also know her as theaccidental entrepreneur and the reasonfor that is because penny created thisabsolutely monster of a social networkfor business people in 1998 whichactually had over 650,000 businessowners in it not knowing what she had atthat time penny was sadly disrupted bywhat we know today as linked in sothere's definitely a brilliant storythere and we do discuss that furtherinto this episode alongside this pennyhas also received an OBE in 2014 for thework that she's done and she's seen bymany as a winner and having spoken toher in some depth not just during thisepisode but prior to it she certainly isthat alongside being a mother to threechildren and a wife to her husband pennynow sees herself working with clients ona one-to-one basis and we're in asociety today where a lot of coaches arealmost spawning overnight I mean we'reseeing people with one or two years ofexperience becoming a coach and thenselling their services and being a bitskeptical apart a lot of these coachespenny is somebody I'm certainly notskeptical about because if I was ever torecommend anyone as a coach it wouldcertainly be penny because penny has theexperience and you can tell from the wayshe speaks in this interview she knowsthis stuff so I think without furtherado we're gonna jump straight into thisone it's extremely exciting for me tobring somebody like penny onto mypodcastand I'm extremely grateful for that andI hope you all enjoy this episode thanksfor tuning inok so firstly I just want to thankeveryone for tuning in to today'sepisode today and I've just had afantastic discussion with penny prior tothis actually going live so I've got toknow her a lot there but I think it'svery important that you guys listeningtuning in today get to know the realpenny or Penny powers she is known tomany of us out there today so firstlyhow are you doing todayvery well I feel very well warmed uplovely conversation with you it was itcertainly was I could almost have anepisode out of that just in itself butI'm just for their sake of the listenerswho have just tuned in now and obviouslymay or may not have heard of you couldyou please just maybe give us an insightin relation to where you first started alittle bit about your journey andbasically what brings you here today andso I think you know and I think it'sbeen a journey of finding my voice whichis just perfect I'm gonna try and keepit little 16I went into the IT industry when I was19 I didn't go to university I went intosales and tele sales and joined it whenit was really booming and so it wasfairly relatively easy to excel and Iended up with in about by the age of 24I was sales marketing director of a 80million pound company with about 400staff that I was responsible for and an80 million pound sales line and we hadoffices around the country eight officesand but my first day there I just wentinto there and completely just out ofscarcity and needed to leave home and itwas a job and and I realized I was quitedifferent to everybody else in the roomyou know I wasn't really that focused onthe sale but I was focused on the impactof the sale that would have on whoeverwas buying the product and I actuallyresigned after seven months and I wasgoing to go to the University to do apsychology degree I had finally got myplace and my boss took me into a roomand said why are you leaving I said I'mjust not cut out for business it's notmy world I want to be have more impactin business and he said but you have noidea of the shift that youcreated in the culture of ourorganization and I was ripped shots as a19 year old to be told that and he saidjust be you stay and be you verypowerful when someone says that to youso I did and I built quite a nice careerI'd sort of left that company andactually went off to four othercompanies and then was invited back tobe their sales marketing director whenthey had grown quite substantially andthen at 28 I was blessed with my babyHannah and two more children and that isabsolutely that and my marriage is beingmy highest values my highest joy thething that I think is the most importantthing in my life I think you know thatfall saying charity begins at home Ithink if you put oxygen on your familythen you build a family that doesn'ttake from the world it can give to theworldi I've taken my role as a mum really asmy most important thing in my life andmy merit and my marriage because thatcompletes the family and but I am quitedriven I love I do love business andwhen I was 33 so I had Hannah was fiveand then I had Ross who was three and TJwas just not long born about six monthsold I came up with the idea of the factthat business seemed so lonely peopleworking on their own my husband beingone of them and sort of subject of nightnetworking in 1998 wasn't huge but therewas it was sort of going on but therewas no online networking for businessthere was Friends Reunited and MySpacebut nothing for business so I created acommunity for business online with aculture of reducing loneliness helpingpeople with their self-esteem and herself-worth and helping people to be whothey were rather than just what they didand it grew and it grew and it wasphenomenal but then we got massivelydisrupted we were growing up organicallyit was a subscription-based business tenpounds a month ten dollars ten eurosdepending where you were in the world wewere in 52 countries had 5000 offlineevents here and then LinkedIn took holdso retweet hoffman had actually visitedand used our site a little bit he thenraised three hundred and thirty milliondollars when in theokay we just couldn't raise any moneywe'd raised very small amount of seedinvestment but interestingly he justwent a different route and culture hewent to the business world with hisfantastic tool but it's said it's onlyabout what you are and actually then wesaw that was in 2002 so that was fouryears after we had grown then in 2004Facebook came into the student market2006 Peter came in and the mark I thinkwe all polarized you know this is Who Iam on Facebook this is what I am onLinkedIn an academy sat somewhere inbetween we needed to pivot the businessmodel by now we had lost our house inorder to keep the business going it wasvery challenging the trout childrentraveled around the world meeting ourmembers had little lapel badges withtheir names on them shaking hands atteach ethics or he first startednetworking and anyway in 2008 we went tothe bank and said look can we have aloan to pivot this business and theygave us a 5 year loan enabled us tostart looking at how we can offer freeand start basically doing what we didn'twant to do but in order to survive whichwas going to be sell your data so youyou know what we now upset about in theother markets so obviously that meant alot of our members that were happy topay we're unhappy but did get some newmembers joining who were happy that itwas free but it really challenged ourvalues and then three years into thatwith two years left around the bank loanthe banking crisis happenedwe got a 30 day notice to pay back therest of the two years and they broughtthe business down the bank after 14years so an incredibly painful definingmoments in 2012 and it has been anunbelievable climb to get back any senseof self-worth self belief a big journeyI which we can we can look into it waswonderful in 2014 out of the blue came abeautiful letter and offering me an OBEfor the contributorslovely feeling of validation andbut actually what I really learned isyou can get huge amounts of externalinvalidation in life but unless you canvalidate yourself and believe inyourself and feel your own sense ofself-worth these things are just a bitof gloss on your life and that's been ajourney which culminated in me writingmy book last yearfantastic and your book is called it'scalled business is personal well firstlywhat a journey I probably got more noteshere that again I could do probably apodcast on separately so I just want totouch on a few things throughout yourjourney so you ended with the validationstatement which I don't want to go intocuz I think that's so importantespecially in today's society yeah youwere 19 years old you had almost kind ofdisrupted and made a positive scene inthis industry where there was a fittingcomment and you said just stay and beyou yeah I loved that because I filmedmyself and in an industry where a lot ofmy business comes through social mediathere are people not just beingthemselves I feel that a lot of peoplehave a magic or they're saying thethings that they necessarily feel theyneed to say yeah what people want tohear and I think sometimes we all havesuch a unique gift or skillset that wemay not ever get to see if we're toobusy trying not to be ourselves if thatmakes senseI think I think that was beautiful andyou touched the game moving after thatabout your family and I just resonatedso much with your values in terms ofbreathing oxygen into your family andhow important your marriage is so wetouched obviously prior to this show alittle bit about one of your children Ilost a TJ and just the incredible personthat she is so again that's a testamentto your values and that kind of bringsme to where I am so I touched on theLinkedIn obviously disrupting and it'sand sadly for yourselves you had toalmost kind of pivot but you mentionedsomething which I just found fascinatingwhich was the values bit that reallykind of struck you so it's nice to hearand it's quite refreshing from yourselfthat yes you could have pivoted thebusiness and almost kind of taken on aLinkedIn approach but that's not whopenny is so using that and realizingthat in that moment getting the externalvalidation of OB what did you then do interms of your business I mean is thatstill going now that sort of business orhave you completely shifted it nowtowards really helping people trying tofind out about themselves as in terms offull of himself with yeah I mean Idefinitely has been a thank you for thatthat lovely reflection of what I said Ithink it's been a journey you knowsomething I say when I am coaching andmentoring and I run a mastermind groupnow I take two cohorts yeah so I Isupport people through a mastermindgroup which is beautiful experience wedo need in our values we do need to havea brand we need to know what we're herefor you know that lovely saying to bestdays of your life the day you're bornthe day you discover able all of thesethings are very very powerfulstart with why simon Sinek what it'screated it's created a massive panic ofpeople that don't feel they have it yetand you can't force it so you know wascoaching a lady yesterday it wasincredibly inspired by brainy Brown andher vulnerability statement and simonSinek and all these role models andshe's desperate to find her big messageand I just said just it will come but itabsolutely starts with the seed of whoyou are and you can't force it becauseyou want to market yourself better orwrite a better book or you've just got alot now having a coach or a mentor or aloved one help you coach that out of youis very powerful and I was with abrilliant guy called Sun hartleyyesterday and he's a performance coachand he said these three things you knowyourself be yourself accept yourselfI loved that thought I love that knowyourself be yourself accept yourself andI don't think that we can you know Iwent through a process last year withpsychologists and group therapy becauseI broke and I didn't break to the pointwhere I was you know I was shaking inthe corner but I had a really day ofdevastating experience that dangerousand scary experience on the 30th ofNovember 2017 that I went off to ahospital thinking I had had a stroke orsomething and they found no new logicalthings and and anyway through going tosee psychologists discovered that and Iwas now having some form of mentalhealth challenges and I actually spent alot of time reflecting and thinking andI think I started to break probably foryoubefore I had that incidence it's notsomething I was fat you know you couldstart off you could start off beingcompletely disabled with a bad legthrough or hip through eighth rightousit would start years before you know youget the so I think mental health issuesyou have to start becoming veryself-aware of how you're showing up inthe world before you really know you'vegot them and and you know I believe inmental fitness but there's anothersubject you know starting before itstarts like you do when you look afteryour physical health so the valuesfinding your voice knowing your valuesare very critical you can't force thesethings though and you know when I talkto CEOs of businesses or leaders ofbusinesses they've got pulled into avortex of ambition like this whirlwindof ambition that actually is fantasticif economies create that culture becausethey create to the fear and they createthe culture of you're lacking andtherefore scarcity and and fear and youlack and the market is a brilliance hasit online saying you could be moresuccessful you could be richer you couldbe more beautiful which immediately whenyou actually read that your subconscioushears I am lacking really wave love sobrilliant it's so clever but revoltingso we have to step away from things likesocial media and comparison andRoosevelt said comparison is the thiefof joy it's my favorite quote yeah it'sbrilliant isn't it love it yeahabsolutely and and it's it takes a hugeamount of reprogramming your mind tostop doing thatbut at least once you're aware you'redoing it you feel yourself doing it youcall yourself back into line becausewhen you look at the ingredients of whoyou are you know what makes you up thereis no single human being on this earththe same as you say mercury yourknowledge your skills your intentionsyour passions your experiences youradversities you've it's just absolutelynothing that could make someone the sameas you so therefore comparing yourselfis the first downward spiral really andone that people are so locked into andso you know anyone listening I'll justsay calm down listening to yourself justhave more self-awareness think of yourjoys think of what really sets you onfire all that's that which other peoplewill say but really do it not to makemoney from it to begin with I sawpowerful again I mean I can resonatewith this and I'm not sure if you'vefollowed it in my story or any of myprogression but I try and say a lot ofthis myself because again probablysimilar to yourself I found myself inthe state of comparison initiallyespecially when I started the propertyjourney and I have this habit now andI've kind of I don't do this in a way tooffend people or be rude but I'vestopped almost going on social media andliking people's posts and stuff becausewhat I effectively do now is I have amessage every morning or every eveningthat I want to share with the world andwhat I'll do is I'll write it out andI'll send it out and all of a sudden I'moff social media I'm not there to seehow many likes I get or how many sharesI get because if I fix ain't myself onthat metric in itself what's gonnahappen is if it's law one day the nextday I might be scared to share my truthagain and I think I think one of theimportant things you touched on again ispeople are almost in this panic of wedon't have it but they probably do andit's a patience game I suppose and whereI always say to people he's just speakyour truth speak whatever that comes toyou it's your own perspective it'llresonate with certain people and we'realmost in a society where people aretrying to almost say key and buzzwordsbecause they feel like that's what theyneed to almost same and I think you hitthe nail on the head and I think withyour experiences Ryan you just brieflymentioned the coaching aspect I thinkpeople listening to this show can gainso much value from that so I just wantedto touch on your mastermind that youmentioned is that what's something thatpeople would necessarily need to do inperson or is it something that you cando online from the comfort of your ownhome a really great question so I'vebeen on my own journey and I'm gonnacome back to that if that's not tooannoying so really so when I my - I callmyself an accidental entrepreneur foryears because I was when I came up withhe had a me I didn't know his tiger bythe tail but I had and then I started mysecond business after he had me calldigital use academy which it was highlyimpactful it was workingyoung people I created the digitalmarketing apprenticeship that is nowwidely used and I got investors to putmoney in we invested three hundred andfifty thousand pounds in an e-learningcent system and we distributed thatthrough further education colleges as anapprenticeship and over three years Iout two thousand unemployed very hard toreach young people into jobs giving themthe confidence that their digital skillshad value in the world and and hopingthat they would go into it with us thesort of culture that I believe in aroundsocial media so that was my second whatI call on two-player journey then Istarted my third which is called thebusiness cafe and it was that part ofthe journey that broke me because it wasanother push and what I feel is um theterm entrepreneur is really dangerous tome entrepreneurs are creating somethingfrom nothing and have massive ambitionand Luke Johnson in his book stopsstartup I think it's called saidambition is a curse and not everybodyhas it right to be a true entrepreneuryou have to be massively ambitious andyou have to know how much you're willingto sacrifice in terms of time money andgratification because being true you'rebuilding something as scales and hasimpact and this is the Silicon Valleyworld you know go out raise 300 milliondollars and there and reduce all your 1%and you know it's long busks and MarkZuckerberg the thing that a lot ofpeople your generation and two centsthat my generation came you know we wewitnessed from about 20 to 23 years agowhen ecommerce everything started so Iwould say that you know it's a curse tocall yourself an entrepreneur unless youtruly are so my own personal journey isand where I am finding so much joy nowgoing back to your original questionyeah is that I was employed had mychildren then became an entrepreneuraccident accidentally then they becamean entrepreneur a game with digitalyouth academy then tried to be anentrepreneur game with the business cafeand I still want to bring the businesscafe to market but when I broke my basicmy cup was full I was overflowing foreven a got out of bedmy resilience had gone and I wasexhausted and burnt and the way I'vecome back is by saying actually I'mgoing to be a small business much nicerof course yeaha small business is what is my value toone person and how can I exchange thatvalue for money and impact their livesdirectly so at the moment starting fromJanuary when I launched my mastermindand my mentoring coaching program thisyear I only need to work with about 34amazing people and I will fulfill notonly my emotional needs but my financialneeds and when I go into a room withsomebody I'm coaching I know that I getthat gratification I'm not only seeingthe impact I'm making on that one personbut also they're paying me yeah money isactually ultimately one of the ways weget our worth it is it's I know we don'tchase money but if we're broken and I'vebeen broken and if we can't financiallyafford to feed our children trying to bean entrepreneur is a very very dangerousjourney so going back to your questionam i delivering it online yes I've beenasked that a lotyeah if as soon as I do that I'mstepping away from my direct impacts interms of I'm putting a computer betweenme and and being able to love and holdand touch and care and look in the eyesof the people I'm wanting to impact andso this year that's what I'm doing thankyou for that answer so I want to playdevil's advocate just a little bit onthe the last night you said there so Ifully understand the whole direct beepthere directly impact them hold themlove them and touch these people thatyou weren't have been on a one-to-onebasis and I suppose when I first startedpersonal training I literally startedpersonal training because one I had losta lot of weight and done a qualificationwith a bit of spare change I had but Ithought it would pay for my way throughuni and then obviously doing that Ireally enjoyed it I loved transforminglives and seeing people lose weight gainconfidence which again I felt fantasticas being mothered journey and I got to apoint myself as I and I rememberI should take this online and almost dolike an online coaching for personaltraining where I will check in withclients online again losing that thatone-to-one communication thing but atthe same time getting back some of mytime so my yeah and perhaps potentiallymaking more money and I initially kindof was with yourself I was like I don'twant to do that it's got it's kind ofalmost dilute my power and my gift thatI have when I work with people but thenat the same time I had somebody questionme and again this is a question I wannaask you is do you not then feel becausein this very brief moment with yourselfthe reason I ask this is because I don'twant it to be that penny is based inthis part of the world or this part ofUK and we don't have access to pennyright now because I feel that if you areable to connect with more people yes themessage might be slightly diluted but Ithink your message is so powerful thatyou could affect so many more people sois it something that maybe your identitylater or I used sorry I'm gonna give youa really long answer to this Aren okayso at the moment I don't believe inmyself enough okay it's getting thereand this is the story I'm gonna tell youand it's absolutely true and it's themost up to date story I can tell youabout my life okay yeah please do I havealways wondered why people would spendmoney on an aspen all our mulberry orGucci handbag right so you're gonnathink where the hell she kept okay Inever needed itI never wanted even when Thomas and Ihad money you know and life was a biteasier didn't turn me on Thomas cameback from Dubai once on a speech hasbrought me back in a beautiful good shebox a handbag and it sat in the box forthree years I never used it didn't writeand but my daughter Hannah who we talkedabout a little bit and and hopefully youmight interview so absolutely would bean honor so when she was 20 and I wedidn't spoil our children they had towork from the age of from a young ageand at 16 they got jobs in supermarketsor Starbucks or whatever and age 20 shegot an internship at Barclays and I mether after work one day and we went offto Marburyjust off Oxford Street and she spent 900pounds in a bag I didn't judge her Ididn't judge at all is her money she'dworked hard for it and that was somesymbolism she wanted that bag and shehad this private relationship Reeves mybig my older sister who's 10 years oldand me because my elder sister he's 10years old of me loves designer handbagsand I used to watch quite jealously thisbut I think I want to join that Club I'mnot in certainly sign a handbag but Iwas quite jealous of these this banterthat I would hear and then looking ateach other's bags because ever sincethen Hannah's brought more bags anywaywhen I started this mastermind group wewere meeting at some Pancras stationit's beautiful meeting place and arestaurant there and that's where mymaster minds are going to be in aprivate room there and I had 12 separatemeetings because I have a four-hour oneto one with all the masterminds beforethey join and I would walk past anAspinall shop right eight and I walkpast it looked in sort of smug that allHannah would love that and walked upthese steps into this restaurant anywayone day I about the bath Inc was aboutthe ninth meeting I went into theAspinall shop took a photo of thislovely handbag and said to Hannahyou'd love this handbag Hannah and shesaid yeah is lovely the next time I wentback my 10th time I went in and I got itoff the shelf and I put it on myshoulder oh yes quite not put it back11th time went back went in looked at itand asked him how much it was and talkedto him about it last week was my 12thtime and I said to Hannah the nightbefore I was going back to London for my12th meeting Hannah I fallen in lovewith an astronaut bag yeah and she wentby it by it mom buy it buy it buy itreally and she said I am mom you reallydeserve it buy it so I said don't be nosomebody who works for Aspen orsomething I could get a 30% discountoh yeah I can look into overnight if youwant mum so we'll do that that'd belovely done it anyway next morning Iwoke up to get the train to London myjob meeting and I sent her a text andsaid Hannah I'm gonna buy it I don'twant it discounted I went in and Ibought it and we came home and wechampagne while I opened it at home andThomas said to me just said out of theblue how come you've decided to buyyourself back and I said Thomas I'mworth it and it was so poignant thateverybody cried because Hannah has saidto me mum why don't you believe inyourself you've gotten an OBE look whatyou've done look at the lives you'vechanged look everything you've done andI said I just didn't believe it insideme until I've got I do now so this isthe most up to date story I can tell youour an a my journey and it's been reallyinteresting I share it because I'mreally open with everyone if somebodywants to judge me for the the pain I'vebeen through and the losses I've beenthrough and judge me is a bad businessperson because I'm not achievable youknow I could have achieved I don't Ireally don't care about that I'm just meand um and I will share that that storywith the world because it's we've got tofind our own self worth deep deep deepdown now so in answer to your storywhich was bad to me to go online andexpect somebody to want to pay for anelectronic version of me I haven't gotto that point yet believing in myselfenoughthat's incredible thank you for sharingthat I'm grateful for you sharing thatbecause as you were saying that therewere so many parts of it maybe some ofthe listeners could probably resonatewith it where I'm on thisentrepreneurial journey where I'm kindof bootstrappingas and when I can and stuff like the bagif we use trainers for example where myyounger brother who's nine years youngerthan me we're going spend to endureparents on a pair of trainers where I'mlike I can't do that I can't possiblythink I'm doing that I mean you grew upin slightly different generations wherefinances were different and growing upbut I don't know something tempting justclick there and I thought maybe there isa is an element within myself where myself-worth needs to kind of at least bereflected on and maybe people listeningto this can reflect on that because itwas a beautiful moment I could almostpicture you coming homepopping up and that bottle of champagneand then having this moment where you'relike do you know what I am worth it soit's a beautiful story that you've justshared there and in relation to thediluting the messagething which is the question that I askedyou and you feel that you're notnecessarily worth it now can I just askis that kind of like an impostorsyndrome that's going through your heador do you I think it's partly that I'vewatched so many I don't want swear youcan sway tosses is the places I say sella dream online and manipulate and andcorrupt I don't want to be part of thatworld and I've seen people close to meyou know hire an expensive house rent afat Ferrari and stand outside and sayyou can be as rich as me if you do myprogram and and they are multimillionaires but I have seen so manylost souls back up their lives leavingthat story and so I've got to I've gotto get to a point where for me to jointhat world I've really got to feel safethat I am never going to do that toanyone penny I loved that about youthat's like for me it's kind of likeabout the Family Fortunes TV episodegoing through my head reach that topanswer and it's like kind of bleedingbecause for me it's one of the thingsthat I hold very close to my heart so II got taught off by my wife actuallylast night so this is a very currentstory and I was writing a post and Ikind of just write post from my heart orwhatever I think I don't spellcheck it Idon't think about it I just literallywrite it there and then and as I waswriting it I sinner peeping over it shewas kind of looking at it like why youkind of she's seen it as me being kindof argumentative or not I'm just tryingto think of the wrong bird a bit againstthe grain kind of thing because mymessage yesterday was very similar toyourself so I'm in the property spaceand in the property space there are allthese millionaires selling this poorthingdream and I absolutely hate it because Iwas fortunate that I had 12,000 poundsleft in my account which I spent on theeducation I still believe I would havebeen where I am now without thateducation because in hindsight it wasn'tas good as I've published sin so sincethen I have probablymove people away from the education andI've offered my free service I've givenmy course material that I've paidthousands for because I'm like listenyou can learn all this yourself youdon't need this shiny book or thiscourse that's gonna change your lifebecause I've done it I joined thiscourse thinking twelve months time I'mgonna be a multi-millionaire blah blahblah all of that so you've obviouslyseen these kind of and I put crooks Idon't call them houses but appearancesis probably a better word and it reallyreally it gets it gets to me because atthe same time I also feel I have valuein some of my skills that's where I cango out and coach an extensive amount ofpeople but then I almost getting thisimpostor syndrome myself thinking Idon't want to ever be seen like thesepeople out there exactly doing it thewrong way so I fully get there andobviously we're at different stages inlife you're a lot more advanced andexperienced than myself and I get thatand at the same time I'm like I'm seeingpeople with less experience than myselfwho have fabricated their results takinggood selfies on one Facebook and thenall of a sudden the selling weekendcourses for two thousand pounds and Iread a book recently on it and it wasabout neuro linguistic programming NRPcalled the dark psychology and there wasa brilliant quote in that and what itsaid was you can either manipulatepeople or persuade people basically andthe people there's a lot of people whosay I want to help you I want to do thisfor you and you need to be able toassess are they trying to manipulate youI looking at their own self gainirrespective of whether it's going toactually get you what they're promisedin you or are they're just trying topersuade you to abandon life and I'm I'mgrateful that I've managed to have thisinterview with you and lets you connectwith you because you're one of the goodpeople and it's nice to see somebodydoing it the right way and I do feelthat sometimes we may not get there asquick as other people and we may have toprobably face more obstacles but I justbelieve it's just so much easier to goto sleep at night doing things the rightway well it does it goes back to whatyou said at the beginning about yourcore values and and and whether you cansleep itself you know these CEOs thatSam you this someone was telling me theycoach it said the CEOs are in fear oflosing their jobs or their businessbecause all around them they have nola they've just lost everything we'velost their wives they live norelationship with their children intheir strife for success of whateverthey decided success would be when theywere young they have and now they sit infear in these big jobs because if theylost their job or they lost theirbusiness they have nothing else left andI think we have to think about what isit we want to surround ourselves withTomas and I have lost everything and westill had our marriage and our childrenand it's it's all that matters that's tome that's the possible and I thinkpeople need to go deep into their valuesbut they chase this ambition or thisdream or this comparison or whatever itis that's confusing them yeah absolutelyI think that's a fantastic message thankyou for sharing that penny I reallyappreciate itso now that you're you're definitely anentrepreneur I think I don't thinkanyone's gonna disagree that you're anentrepreneur whether it is by accidentor whatever I mean I feel I'm a bigbeliever that everything happens for areason and if we choose to we can findour own way and I'm grateful that youfound your own way but what I want toask is so for somebody who's beenthrough been through it all should I sayin terms of the journeys of ups anddowns what's your daily routine likebecause I'm a firm believer thatmotivation doesn't last forever and I amstrongly I'm strongly for sorry and thatwe should discipline ourselves incertain aspects hence your nutrition orthe thoughts you tell yourselfaffirmations being grateful all thatsort of stuff in order to get throughthe darker days and not everyone speaksabout the darker days but what's yourdaily routine like Monday to Sunday umso I am always been an early Waker evenas you know child when I was teenagerdid my revision early I always wake sodoes my husband around 5:00 o'clock andwe love that and we go down and get twocups of tea each one of us goes and getsfour cups of teaand we do have that television in thebedroom which we absolutely love so thismorning we watched we loved all thedramas we watched the final of motherfather son for example and we lie in bedtogether and we holehas and we have a cup of tea and wewatch that and then we do that from ournow this is I'm not rushing to Londonfor trade and then I share and then Ifor the last six years I have made avery lovely drinks which containsspinach kale berries chia seeds flaxseeds hue carrot and and then I startwork because I love work so either startwork in the office or I will go toLondon I do try to go to London after10:00 because hey the trains are so muchcheaper oh I go on the train I mean it'syou know how much that makes adifference to your monthly outgoings ifyou if you do have a discipline of doingthat and I just feel better if I do thatthen I get a good start in the morningand then my ideal day is to coach oneclient today about three times a week soin the afternoonsI'll meet at this lovely place and coachthem if it's better in the mornings Iwill do the morning because it's reallydown to where they when they get theirbest energy of course Alice and threetimes a week I'm really grimacing here Itry to go to the gym okay Red Mill anddo some weights but I'm not achievingthat very well moment and I do have ayoga routine that I try to do everymorning before I get dressed that's itfantastic do you do any sort of them Imean I know you've touched on yoga theredo you do any meditation or anygratitude journaling or writing yourgoals down is that so I do I am I have aattitude of blessings and gratitude allthrough the day and I do start my daywith that I definitely don't even haveto consciously do it I just comes intomy mind that I have not that I feel itnow it's I think it's incrediblypowerful that mindfulness meditationthat would completely elude me I justdon't have you do that but mindfulnessI'm trying to learn that my son who'sstudying psychology at University whoand there's quite a high performing butvery him puts a lot of pressure onhimself a lot of pressure on himselfhe's learnt mindfulness and he'sactually done a certificate in it nowand he has it's it's incredible how itstransformed him he said he can't livewithout it and so it is that's andiscipline I'm trying to bring into mylife like I've got itfantastic and just actually if we mayjust going back to something we touchedon earlier we touched on mental fitnessand I know we spoke about this before Iclick the record button yeah do you wantto just briefly elaborate on that aswell because I think that's going to bevery important for the lissa so I when Ihad this sort of breaking moment Iultimately took a while but in the endthe psychologist diagnosed me with PTSDwhich I always thought needed to be ahuge trauma you know something itdirectly happened to you but PTSD isbasically anything that everyday comesback into your mind and it is and itfills your cup before you because atwork Venus that started today and I had12 things that from the age of 3 throughto about 3 years ago that were still onpains that I hadn't accepted andreconciled and I wasn't a victim of thembut they were still front of mind and Ihad to go through a process called EMDRto work through them which was a hardexhausting painful process of acceptanceand letting it go and then when you doit goes into your you might back in yourmind the other thing that I gotdiagnosed with is a form of depressioncalled cursive strong which is a badbook by dr. tim cavanaugh onhe owned a Mazon he worked for thePriory and he found that people thatwere coming to him who were very dynamicvery hardworking high levels ofdiscipline were he'd ended up diagnosinghit them with this and what I gotdiagnosed with and it's basically a formof depression that means you will notself care and look after yourself rightif you just get up every day and youjust keep pushing until until you justyou just just exhausted and so when Iwas going through my psyche my grouptherapy and times with my psychologistwhich talked about in my bookthere was healing triggers and emotionalmental repair that I talked about in mybook that I feel is relevant to everyentrepreneur every human yeah I believearound your belief systems your valuesto thoughts your feelings yourpersonality type etc and what I thenthought was actually if I had no in thistwenty years ago before I became anentrepreneur or even younger I wouldhave focused on my mental fitness notmoment I'd not got to a point where Ihad mental health issues so now I'm anadvocate of mental fitness because Ithink that there are things that wecould learn about ourselves so to meresilience isn't about how hard thepunches are that you are willing to takeand bounce back from resilience is likea boxer you learn what to dodge you'vedone the things that your personalityand your who you are and what matters toyou that you do not want to beconfronted by and you dodge and thatwould enter Fitness to me fantasticactually the first time I've heard itexplained like that I think I think themessage is clear though and I'm quitefascinated now you've got me intriguedinto your own personal book so I know Idon't read books in terms of thehardcovers but I am an advocate ofaudible and listening to books is yourbook available as an audible version oris it strictly a hardcopyno it is I went into studio recorded itso it's on audio it's on Kindle and it'son poppy yeah okay fantastic so there'sno excuse for me not to buy that thenI'll definitely be checking that outthank you for that thank you okay so thenext thing I always ask my guests andagain this is something that willhopefully give the listeners maybelessons that they can take on or somesort of advice is about adversity nowyou've obviously been through a lot ofadversity some of it we probably haven'teven touched in this very short episodeso I know you mentioned briefly and youlost your house you mentioned I think itwas November you were having thesemental health challenges if you couldeither choose one of those or somethingelse in your life where you've beenthrough adversity and just tell us howyou've basically overcame that and thelessons that you've got from it just tokind of give the listeners maybe sometools that they could perhaps use yeahy'know happily so there have been Imentioned that there were I think Imentioned there were twelve things on mylist when I went to the psychologistthat bothered me that was still throwfront of mind went back to his childhoodnot that I was abused or anything butthere was something you know things thatbothered me and all the way up to adultsso I think one of the greatest learningswas that the second business that Istarted digital youth academy I got someinvestors involved I didn't do any truediligence on them but because I hadknown of them and they certainly seemedto have my best interests in the passionof the business in their hearts whenthey invested but I think I was at apoint of scarcity when I went into thatrelationship which is always dangerouswhether you're taking on a client or asupplier or a marriage whatever you oweinto it in a scarcity fear mindset thenit's going to be very difficult and soultimately I had to work my way out ofthat relationship even though I lovedthat business very much we had to exitand sell that business and the issue wasthat because I was in scarcity andclearly was lacking in personalself-worth I enabled them to havecontrol over me and one of the thingsthat strapline of my book is how to leadthe life and business that you want andI was told by actually somebody whoworked for me in that business Russellwho now runs the Starbucksapprenticeship program across Europe hewas a brilliant guy he was ops directorworking with me and he said to me petone day penny I can tell and when Ifirst met you two who you are now thingsyou're not as happy as you used to beI said well that's a real shame and hesaid I watched a documentary last nightand they said there were three parts ofhappiness and they've done a big studyglobally and three parts were 50% ofhappiness is your Constitution are you ahappy person he said penny you alwayshappy and you are a happy person10% is the achievement of the things youwant and you know in this study we knowthat we all always want something elsesoon as we got something we always wantsomething else that's why us so much andinnovate and keep going you know we'renot happywhy we're not animals and that's why weare so progressive 40% of happiness ishow much control you have a have overyour own life and decisions you make andhe said clearly you're being controlledand I was now I had to then unwind thatand I talked about this in my book howsometimes you have to positivelysurrender to a situation and I realizedthat I wasn't going to change a patternthat we had created between us as arelationship where they were assertiveand I was passive where they were theadult and effectively they were treatingme as a child and it was my own doingbecause I went into this relationshipalready in a bad place yeah and so partof the learning I had to go through isI've got to a point in my life whereanybody who was assertive with me I hadwas labeling them in my head as a bullyso I was catastrophizing anybody whoseemed to want to have control over meanybody that had an opinion that wasstrong I saw as bullying and I had tolearn as a naturally not assertiveperson anyway I had to learn to be moreassertive and realized that beingassertive is actually a very adultcommunication style it doesn't have tobe angry that's one one lesson I canpass on absolutely I think that's alesson that I've had to learn myself aswell because when I first I property Iwas very probably a similar situation toyourself as our kind of put people on apedestal yeah I think thinking that Iwasn't worthy or didn't have in muchknowledge yeah yeah in fact I probablydid in hindsight now the funny thing isI got ripped off I got builders runningaway taking advantage of me I hadpotential business partners see me asnaive and trying to make me do more workthan initially agreed to so I had allthese kind of problems and teeth andissues initially as well and I remembermy mom actually saying and you need toyou need to be stronger you need to stopbeing like a walk or a pushover and Iwas just like it's just who I am as inand I was always confident that if Ididn't become this again I assumed ithad to be a nasty dictation person and Iwas as long as I just be myselfsomewhere along the line I will get therightkind of people around me and and maybe Ihave developed some level ofassertiveness over the last few yearsbut I've certainly now got a team aroundme who I can trust and they know me frommy skills I know them for their skillsand it certainly helped but I think youhit the nail on the head there where yousaid it's a skill to learn and and in myhead it's always been if I come acrosstoo assertive are people gonna think I'ma bully or embossing axe or whatever itis so yeah that's really interesting Ithink I think people can definitelyresonate with that good yeah definitelyso penny what's your biggest fear umI suppose my biggest fear is currentlyis long-term sustainable income becausewe you know when you lose everything andI'm it's amazing some people I'mattracting now as co2 coach them is alot of people in their 50s that havehuge skills and but they haven't reallybeen able to manage their business lifethe way they needed to and and createthat sustainable income so I loveworking so I'm going to be very happyworking well into my 70s and Beyond ifpeople still have me but creating somesense of security into my old age is isprobably what what I suppose drives mebut also drives me negatively because itis also a fear okay that's interestingso a bit of a shameless plug here haveyou thought about property investing asI sort of yes I've not anywhere nearthat place to be able to even considerthat well if you ever ask them please doreach out yeah I will I appreciate thatand I will and I think we'll definitelydo that much thank you so much whatwe're gonna do now is actually we'regoing to completely mix it up now we'regoing to go into what I call the funpart of the show so at this stage of theshow all I'm gonna do is literally askyou the most random questions that I canthink of from my list in front of meyou've got no idea what I'm gonna askyou we're gonna do the buzzer for about60 to 90 seconds so there are no rightor wrong answers so literally just saythe first thought that comes into yourhead oh gosh that's very good god yes nono you'll be absolutely fine okay we'regonna start in three two onewhat did you eat for breakfast my shakethe ability to fly or be invisible liewhat is the best thing about being anentrepreneur Breeden if you couldeliminate one thing from your dailyroutine what would it beexercise what is the best gift anyonehas ever given to you my children wouldyou rather have a rewind button or apause button on life pause don't saywhere your fame o'moneyyour proudest moment my childrengraduating your favorite food choiceokay Netflix our YouTube Netflix yournumber-one goal this year to help 34people achieve their dreams yourfavorite TV show ever pride andprejudicewould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be my husband speakall languages or be able to speak toanimals all speak to animals and finallyif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it bereligion okay fantastic so that's theend of the fun part of the show itwasn't that hard was itno that's very good okay brilliant sowe're almost at the end of the show nowI just got the last final few questionsI just want to ask you penny and now thenext question is about reflection soobviously hindsight's a wonderful thingwhere we can always think of ways to getourselves somewhere quicker easier orwith less heartache but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as well sowhat I want to know is if knowingexactly what you know now you could goback to a younger penny and maybewhisper something in their ears toinspire her for the journey that liesaheadwhat would you say it'll all be okay Ithink I've probably just give her thatcomfort really just that reassuranceit's just the reassurance yeah and thatactually suddenly brings us to the lastquestion then what for the show andagain this is something asked for all ofmy guests and it's about legacy so if in150 years time science fails to save usall and all that's left is this book andthis book is about penny and her lifeand everything she's accomplished andall of the great wonderful thingsfirstly what would the title of the booktell us and secondly what would theblurb at the back read to us cost I offthe cuff yeah well the first the title Ithought was love okay and it would justsay that that love is the most powerfulforce in the world and the more that youcan live within that energy and be thatenergy and give that energy the betteryour life will be thank you for sharingokay brilliant so that brings us toliterally the end of the show and justbefore I leave penny what I want to dois give you a chance to connect with theaudience so if you wouldn't mind couldyou please tell everyone listening howthey could reach you and maybe if youhave time and the capacity for them tomaybe engage with you that's very kindthank you so I'm on Twitter so at pennypower I'm on LinkedIn so I'll be easilyfound as penny power I'm on Facebook butunfortunately I think I've just aboutreached that five thousand limits andI'm absolutely rubbish and got to put mypage right but I don't have a page I'vegot a lovely community on Facebookcalled the business cafe global andthat's a very caring very honest andreal community of small businesses I'mon Instagram as penny F power and then Ihave a website which is penny power UKand on there there's different contactforms that's fantastic and what I willdo is I will put all of those details inthe show notes thank you that's verykindno no you're very welcome I'll also puta link to the book as well because I'mlooking forward to reading that myselfand I just want to say once again pennythank you so much for your time todayit's actually been a fascinating talkeven the stuff we spoke about before theepisode and I just wanna thank you foryour time I want to thank everyone athome as wellthanks for listening wonderful andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 18- "On the other side of adversity" - Tiana Barnwell #18Tagline: "I don't want my story to be about my struggle...I want it to be Tiana Barnwell helped people, she came back, she gave back, she did it."Tiana Barnwell is a shining example of what determination and focus can bring you. With a vision at 7 years old to go to Spelman College she achieved graduation via a few years in foster care (kinship) disrupting her life but never stopping her achieving her dreams. As stated in the subtitle, less than 3% of foster care children graduate from a 4-year college degree so its a shining example to all those out there, anything is possible. With such a wise head on her shoulders and a why that far exceeds her own personal goals Tiana is destined for stardom in helping people through her real estate dreams. Now graduating with job offers from Goldman Sachs she pursues her next adventure and continues to grow and shine a light on the world.I urge you all to follow this incredible story and women who will be a household name sooner rather than later.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Twitter: https://twitter.com/_tkvnggInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/_tianakv_/?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=xsp7wlt6vctqHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's story is one that is veryclose to my heart and I'm sure a lot ofyou will resonate with this story yousee I was on Twitter a few weeks ago andI read this devastate in fact that only3% of children who go into foster careactually come out with a degree now Iwas very very excited and actuallyremember jumping up in bed when Ireached out to this individual and I gotan instant response because Icongratulated Tiana having read that shewas one of those three percents whoactually graduated and so she'seffectively gone from foster care toGoldman Sachs which is the company whohave actually taken her on and I was soproud of heryeah at this time I had no idea who shewas I knew nothing about it personallynow the reason it touched my heart isbecause four of my siblings have comefrom the foster care system and it'ssomething where I try and be an advocatefor him maybe through this show maybe inpersonal life as well where I want themto know that there are no limits and noboundaries on what you can achieve inlife and Tiana is a shining example ofthat and I hope you genuinely enjoy thisepisode because you see a girl here withso much passion and enthusiasm forwanting to change the world she's alsofrom New York so it was always great toget somebody from overseas on here andalso to give them a platform wherehopefully this can help her in terms ofraising her profile inspiring otherchildren but I urge you to stay towardsthe end of the show because she sayssomething that's really really importantand it really made me think afterreleasing this show because obviouslytiles are important and getting you guysto listen to the stories and engage isimportant and she says something at theend that really made me think about howshe wants to be remembered so hopefullyyou enjoy it without further ado we'regoing to jump straight into it and justlet me know your thoughts in relation toher final words thank you okay welcometo the show and today I am very gratefulto have Tiana on the show today somebodywho actually reached out to veryrecently haven't seen her stories sofirstly I just want to welcome Tiana tothe show Turner welcome and how are youdoing today I'm doing well blessed andhighly favored thank you are you doingtoday I'm very well thank you as wellthank you no Tiana is actually from NewYork I believe is that correct yes I'mfrom New York but I currently go tocollege in Atlanta Georgia okayfantastic so I think it's reallyimportant obviously for the listeners ofthis show to hear a little bit aboutyourself a little bit about your storybecause for me personally I've got asoft spot for your story but I thinklet's tell the audience a little bitabout yourselfso I'm Tiana I was born and raised inNew York and I currently attend collegestomache College in Atlanta Georgia so Ididn't really get here the easiertraditional way I was actually placed inthe foster care when I was in highschool my freshman year of high schooland with that came a lot of baggagethere were court dates there weretherapy deeds there was just there's somuch baggage that came along with beingplaced in the foster care and it kind ofdiscouraged me a little bit fromapplying to my top choice which wasfilming I kind of just wanted to stay inNew York just relax just just get outand and kind of just just be me andinitially I before I was placed in thefoster care I had not really toldanybody what was going on in my life Iwas just kind of just going to schoolgoing home occasionally staying with myaunt sometimes and finally I decided tospeak up and speak out about what wasgoing on and that led to me being placedin foster care and I wasn't in fostercare and what it's not a typical storywhere I was placed in foster care at theage of twoor something like that was placed infoster care about 14 and I the main goalwas to return the parent so what I hadto do is I just got a therapy with mymom go to therapy alone as well and justwork through the issues that were goingon and fortunately I was able to returnthe parent and my mom and I have such agreat relationship right now so have yougot any siblingsyes I do have two sisters okay in thehouse with my mom and I and my fatheralso has children so I have about tenSidley okay and in terms of going intokinship ie foster care was thatsomething that was only yourself or wasit also the same with your siblings aswellI'm just I was placed into foster careactually okay well I think the positivething is what you touched on at the endis that you've got a great relationshipwith your birth mother how was your stayand experience with in foster care so myexperience was it was good becausebecause it was kinship care I was ableto stay with my art I did have to meetwith a social worker every week and Idid have to do certain things like go totherapy speak with a life coach and thefoster care agency I was actually reallyamazing there the New York foundling Imean they provide they providedeverything I could ever need so I had atherapist I had a doctor who I couldalways go to who was actually located inthe same facility as my therapist andthen I had amazing social workers whowould come check on me and not onlycheck on me but make sure thateverything with my well-being was okaymake sure that was meant to be okay andeven just take me out and and just talkto me and also they provided a lifecoach it was so amazing because I wasable to talk about different goals thatI had and being able to to just try andgrow as a person so I think for anyonelistening now Tiana you probably don'tknow this yourself I was actually asocial worker for a very short amount oftime as well oh yeah so I mean thereason I reached out to you is obviouslyI explained earlier for my siblings comefrom the care system so I gave upmy initial job as a project manager tobecome a social worker to kind of Isuppose change the world and try andhelp children in your situation or inworse situations I mean I'm sure you'veheard the horror stories so I have a lotof admiration for social workers sadly Ithink especially in this country they'rethey're put under a hell of a lot ofstress and it's a very very difficultjob so I'm just glad that you managed toget some good social workers who wereable to obviously help you help youdevelop as you explained earlier so if Imay I mean that's giving me a little bitabout yourself what would you likegrowing up because for me I thinkthere's got to be personality traitswithin you that have brought out somelevel of determination dedication interms of going on in and achieving adegree because I've done a degree andit's no easy feat so I think firstlycongratulations on that but thank youwhat was life like growing up was it wasit difficult or was it just this badspell around when you turned 14 prettymuch an average life I moved around alot so I was able to make friends thebad spell did just happen when I turned14 and that's when things kind of gotdifferent but as a child I was alwaysdeterminedI always knew what I wanted like Iwanted to go to Spelman since I wasabout seven and I knew that I had goalsthat that were bigger than them being anastronaut or being being something ofthe such I knew I wanted to do somethingthat that was gonna make a difference inthe world and like like I currently havemy goals and everything and then when Iturned 14 that's when I kind of just wasunsure myself and I was well I don'tknow what to do I don't know if I'mgonna do what I actually want to do Idon't know if I'm gonna go to the schoolI actually want to go to so that's whenI all of the kind of negative thoughtsset in and crept in and I was able totalk them out like through therapy andeverything and kind of just say wellthis is hard for you and this is whatI'm going through you know I had so muchI had so many goals I wanted toaccomplish I had so much in me that Ijust wanted to get out and spread andfrom between the ages of like 14 to 17it was really hard for melashing out and just not being thequestion that I was destined to be okaywell that's interestingfirstly I think you've got a very wisehead for a 21 year old to be writingdown your goals and having such bigaspirations I know when I was 21 thelast thing I was thinking about was mygoals it was more about where's the nextpie or what we do tonight so it's niceto know that obviously you yes you'vebeen through adversity during the periodof 14 to 17 but I think it's importantthat we stress especially for thelisteners here that the importance ofgoal-setting and this is something Isuppose I do now as a slightly older manis writing down your goals because Ithink there's a power when you writedown your goals and especially yourselfyou knew that you wanted to spreadsomething else you knew you had thesegoals where you really wanted to make adifference in the world similar to whatI'm trying to do here in this podcastcould you share any of those goals ifyou wouldn't mind yes so my main goal isto actually open a chain of hotelsinternationally I'm starting in Trinidadand I want to do hotels because hotelsare not going anywhereeven with disruptors like Airbnb VRBOand things of that naturehotels are always gonna be around andthey can always adapt to fit ontoplatforms such as Airbnb and hotels orsomething that is that is gonna bring ina lot of money and I and I need requiresfinancial stability because once thehotel is thriving I'm gonna be able toput some of that revenue back into thecommunity that the hotel is located inabout four to five percent of my revenuefrom that hotel and then I also want totake about six to eight percent of therevenue and bring it back to communitieslike the one I'm doing in New York orsome of the communities that I seearound Atlanta so that way I can createeconomic stimulation in environmentswhere people don't really have all ofthe resources they need so I want toopen up job centers recreation centersand park so that everyone in a communitycan benefit from this hotel that I haverather than whether they're young or oldor unemployed or employ and just havea backbone unity in the community thetype of community that I grew up in nowthat's really my goal so that way so sothat way the community that I'm buildingin is benefiting and in the communitywhere I came from is benefitting so thatthere's no one left out that's soinspiringthat's incredible I'm sitting heresmiling I mean I know you can't see yetthen really I'll just say there's oneticket she caught me 21 just here and Imean actually giving me goosebumpsbecause there's a couple of thingsactually I want to touch on that sofirstly your awareness to themarketplace so I'm a property investoras well full-time so I also deal anddouble in air B&B and book it calm sothe fact that you're aware of theirpotential threats to the competition Isay as a hotel is fantastic I assumeyou're going back to Trinidad becausethat's where your roots are initiallyI've had some friends from there and wego at least once a year and visit and Ijust heard such amazing things and Iknow that the hotel industry is boomingover there especially with things likecarnival okay that's really interestingand then the fact that you still want tobring that back to where your currentcommunity is right now and that's in NewYork I believe yes communities that thatmean mmm I love that I love it it's it'sfunny you said that actually because Iwrote I was doing when I'm a Instagrampost this morning now I always try andsay like inspirational motivationalstuff and a lot of the reasons I do thatit's kind of like must me talking tomyself if that makes sense so I'll throwsomething out into the atmosphere andit's kind of just me basically trying tomotivate myself in that moment if thatmakes sense and one of the things I saidtoday was like I think it's an old quoteis be the change that you want to see inthe world and I just get that from youthat what you're trying to do is tryingto create this almost like a ripplebutterfly effect within your communityand I just think that's really reallyinspiring and I'm sure people listeningto your story and watching you do theseamazing things which Tom I'm confidentyou're gonna do I think it'd just be bewonderful to see thank you thank you somuch absolutely so I'm quite eager tofind out aboutpeople in terms of their routine and thereason I'm very sort of focused onroutine is because I believe motivationwears very thin in life and I thinkdiscipline is very very importantespecially if you want to achievesubstantial goals a bit like yourself socould you just kind of give us a day inthe life of tiana and the kind of thingsthat you do maybe that younger peoplelistening to you now who maybe want tofollow your footsteps or takeinspiration from your story can perhapsimplement well so my daily routine I'maway at school right now so I don'treally have to say anything day-to-daybut I do start my day the same way everyday and what I do is as soon as I openmy eyes I checked the time and once thesame prayer I say you know good morningDonald thank you for putting life intomy body for breathing air into my lungsfor putting a beat into my heart andthen from that from there I go on I talkto God about different things I want toaccomplish throughout the day I talk toGod about my friends about my familyonly just different things just so thatI can maintaining and continue tostrengthen my relationship with God soafter that I get a find my clothes Ilived with my best friend on campus sotypically after I like get up andstretch and everything I walk into herroom she thanks God for open your eyessister chat we talk it doesn't matterabout what we just talk and we get likeenergy flowing happiness flowing goingand some marriages do my daily routineto get ready and everything and then Igo outside and I I'm gonna mount us sotypically it's sunny I got outside and Isit in the side for as long as I canjust so that I have energy from the Sunjust so that I'm happy because you knowit's like instant happinessabsolutely absolutely really so I makesure I'm saying the Sun and I stand inthe specific spot on campus directly infront of the stomach college mouse in itand I talked to my friends they'll comejoin me or something like that and thenI just go about my day and stay hydrateddoing random word when the financethroughout the day I'm in my senior yearcurrently so a lot of my a lot of myrandom data bank finance are things justkind of the last-minute things I need tograduate like different surveys I haveto do different checklists I have tolook at things like thatand I always make time to spend myfriend starts and then throughout theday make sure I'm begging God throughoutthe day and focusing on my goals likewhenever I lose sight of why I'm doingsomething just say you know Tiana it'sbigger than this it's more than this socourse you know I just keep going justkeep going I love that I love it that'sso powerful I mean obviously your day today is gonna change once you fullygraduate and then you're going toemployment but I think there's certaincharacteristics you've said there suchas your gratitude and your goals andobviously that's probably through yourconnection with God way sort of portraythose I think that's really reallyimportant it's something that I'vestarted doing recently myself I wake upevery morning and I write three thingsthat I'm grateful for and then I willlook at my goals and I just thinkespecially in life when life doesn'talways go the way we planned just havingthat rooted at the start of the day it'sonly helps move us forward so I thinkthat's really really powerful that youdo that so when things are going badthen if we just go back to that in thatperiod say for instance where you were14 to 17 you were feeling lost slightlyoff track I suppose in your life wasthis gratitude element of your lifesomething that you kind of sidelined orwas she just very difficult with all thetoil more that was going on honestly itwasn't there okay it wasn't there I wasjust wake up go to schooljab court no drug therapy okay what Ihave to do today is like I wanting itfor example a sophomore year and the endof freshman year I played sports so Iwas like can I even go to practice todayor do I have to do something else ohgreat I have to do something elseperfect let me just tell coach I can'tmake it again and there was just kind oflike frustration like you know I can dothis I have to do that alright I'm justready to go to bed I just want to go tosleep juice like the only place I reallywant it to be one school and there wouldbe points where I couldn't go to schoolbecause I had to go to court orsomething it's a I've to go to court ormaybe the doctor to get checked out orsomething like that and all I wanted todo was go to school I have a good timewith my friends and see my friends andmy favorite teachers okay okay that'sinteresting so again something I justwant to pick out there the thing thatkeeps you rooted now and so focused interms of achieving your goals wasmissing during those four years yeah andthis is an important thing so I alwayswhen I work with people I try and getthem to have some sort of good routineie through discipline so for exampleworking out staying hydrated beinggrateful and I think these thingsalthough they might seem tedious atfirst if you let them slip by thewayside life can kind of become a bitchaotic and I know myself especiallywhen I'm up in the morning I try and getthese small wins in first thing in themorning and that certainly helps meI suppose tackle the day and I thinkyou've probably noticed that Nabal withyourself as well yeah okay so just goingback to the whole 14 to 17 year oldcommon I graduated looking at where youare now what would you tell a child whomay feel different who may recognizethat they're from or they've had to gointo kinship or foster care maybestruggling through that level ofadversity would you give them any sortof advice or is there anything that youthink you could perhaps recommend tothem so they don't really lose focus andgo down the path I suppose 97% of theother people do where they kind of fallback into the system again yes Idefinitely have advice when you when youstart to feel yourself like becomingsomebody who you know you're not that'swhen you got to step in and you got tosay you know what this isme this is not who I am this is not howI act and you have to really just catchyourself you have to you have to be ableto take notice when you're changing andfrom that point that's when you need tostart talking to yourself that's whatyou need to start writing your goalsthat's when you need to start planningthings and once you start planning andonce you start talking to yourself andonce you start talking to other peopleas well that's when things are gonnachange you're gonna want to set goalsyou're gonna want to have hope you'regonna want to think long term one thingthat really helped me was thinking longterm I knew that I wanted to get toSpelman and for for a few years I didn'tlose sight of stomach but once Irealized Spelman is where I want to beand I know Stormin is right where I wantto be that's when I was able to get thehelp I needed us and I was able to talkto people and do exactly what I neededto do to get this film and despite likebig years I've struggled in the yearsthat I didn't really have what it whatit took to get me to spell it I mean youalso gotta just be prepared because it'svery difficult it's difficult because itseems like you're all alone it seemslike you're not you don't have anyone inyour corner you don't know what's goingon you don't know what's coming next butyou always have to have hope and youhave to have faith you have to doesn'tmatter which God and pray to you have tohave faith in you have to try toestablish a relationship one thing thatI can say is I didn't really have arelationship with God that day I reallydidn't get such a strong relationshipwith God until I got to college that'samazing that's erm that's really usefulthank you for sharing that so there's acouple of things I've just taken fromthat is the first one is obviouslyhaving hope or faith and I think you hitthe nail on the head there it doesn'tmatter what God you believe in I thinkjust having faith in a better future ina better circumstance or not an outcomesomewhere in the distant future is goingto keep you inspired and I think youtouched on it earlier as I when you saidTiana this is bigger than you and Ithink when you have a purpose that'smaybe slightly bigger than yourself thatcan keep you going as well definitelythat's really really important butanother thing you touched on there and Isuppose I can relate to it to somedegree is when you saidfeeling of being alone and I can relateto children in the care systemespecially within the UK because I feelthat do you feel that they're alonesometimes and there might notnecessarily have that support networkand I assumed you obviously had a verygood network around you I know you saidyou had good social workers you had alife coach how was your friends or yourextended family within that time as ohdid you have a good community there aswell who served as my foster mom throughkinship care I had a great relationshipwith her and with my grandmother and Imaintain the relationship my sister ummy extended family they didn't reallyknow too much about what was going on soI did rely on my relationship with thefamily that I had in New York and I relyon the relationship with my therapist aswell you're probably fortunate that youhad that relationship there because yournetwork can determine your situation somuch if you've got a bad Network thenobviously you're almost destined forfailure I suppose yes yes okay so whereyou are right now things are obviouslygoing the way that you wanted to you hadthis dream from a seven-year-old thatyou want to go to Spelman you had alittle bit of a wobble in between butwhere you are right now you've pickedyourself back up you're now focused youfound God you find this new sense ofbelief what in this current moment nowscares you I'm graduating in 33 days andwhat scares me is that I won't be readyI'm not prepared to go into this worldand live as an adult and handleeverything that comes along with beingan adult that's that's one of my biggestfears right now I'm kind of I've been onthis campus for four years I'm kind ofscared of course no man has prepared mefor everything and they've given me thelessons that I need to go anywhere butI'm still afraid of what's waiting forme outside of these gates beyond filmingand ex-kgb cable of course I plan forthis is my I'm trying to get out of hereI gotta graduate but there's next yearif something that's so unknown I've beenin school my entire lifeand I'm leaving and starting somewherenew I'm sorry fries I'm just I'm cuttingthat that's my favorite I'm gonna failI've been waiting so long to get hereand I'm gonna leave the gates yeahthat's so interesting that you say thatbecause here you are having this dreamas a seven year old you know literallyon the cusp of you've achieved it you'vedone it now all of a sudden you've gotthis new sense of fear and I suppose onethat shows your vulnerability which ithink is it's nice that you're you'redisplaying that because I think whatevertransition you go through in life it'san element of growth and you can neverreally be ready for growth so it isdaunting whether it's getting marriedwhether it's having a child or whateverthat particular circumstances but fromthis very very short encounter withyourself let me tell you something youare a hell of a lot more intelligentthan I am I seem to do okay after Igraduated I went to university twice soI went back to study my Social Workmasters again at transitions so youremotional intelligence is fantastic Ithink also you have an advantage and youshould always remember this is that thelife lessons that you've been througheven during that short period of timefrom 14 to 17 to 21 it's built a levelof resilience in you that you may notknow that you have yet but I amconfident that if you continue yourfaith in God and your spirituality andyou keep having these goals to producethese incredible hotels in Trinidad youwill be absolutely fine you've gotnothing to be afraid of you're very veryintelligent thank you so much that meansso much hopefully in about six monthstime I want to get a message from youwhether it's on Twitter or Instagram andjust tell me how easy is because I'msure you're gonna fly wherever you goabsolutely I'm looking forward tohopefully we maybe get you back on aswell just to kind of see the word thatyou're doing as well so that would befantastic as well absolutely so Isuppose we kind of touched on this nextpart a little bit I'm always fascinatedby the way people think and one of thethings with myself is I have this crazything where I motivate myself bythinking about the worst things that canever happenso I call it morbid nightmares and Iwill wake up in the morning and I wouldthink of likethe worst thing that could possiblyhappen and what that does is it kind ofshifts my ass into gear to go out thereand seize the day and really try andmake a difference try and help as manypeople as I possibly can and really tryand leave nothing to chanceso that's just my kind of thing thatkeeps me motivated what kind of thingsin this current moment right now keepyou motivated to go out there and buildthese hotels and then change the worldI'm not gonna get employment aftercollege so maybe I should get up so Ikind of use days where I'm kind ofslacking I don't know I gotta go to thisclass because if you don't go to thisclass then you're going to fail and ifyou fail then you can't graduate if youdon't graduate you're letting your oldfamily down if you let your family knowyou're still gonna be at Spelman foranother semester and somebody has to payfor Spelman for another semester whichis not gonna it's not gonna fly withanybody so I'm not yelling me didn't getout of bed her name is MIA okay andshe's actually so when I was in kinshipcare she was in the house as well she'smy daughter okay um and she's reallysomeone that keeps me going becauseshe's she looks up to me and she's oneof my favorite people in the world Imean and I'm I'm really excited cuz sheactually let me want to spell me but Isee you know this shot is so bright andI know that she looks up to me I knowthis child is so destined for great newsmy under sisters she's eight yeah it'snot setting you of course Ohbut my younger cousin is 17 and I got Iwant to be there for her and I want herto continue to look up to me I want herto see me and say you know what that'sFiamma this is my family I wanted to gobeyond what I'm doing I want her to bebetter than me stronger than me and andI just love her so much I just love thatso I've got three points I want to touchon just from your answer there so thefirst one is it's nice to know I'm notthe only person thinking of morbidnightmares in the morning so there's youand me there so that was fantasticbecause it does really help I mean Isuppose some people have afight-or-flight response and knowingyour personality is probably similar tomine that we have all these kind ofmorbid nightmares or thoughts and thenall of a sudden we fight it as opposedto running away from it so I thinkdepending on your personality I choosewhich way to go the second thing is I'msure Mia is so proud of you and I'm sureyou're a great great role model to herso you should be very proud of yourselfthat you have someone who looks up toyou and I'm sure you're doing anincredible job with that the last thingthat I really love that you said isthere's a brilliant quote and the quotesays they want you to do good but neveras good as them right and I I get thatbecause I see it so often within likethe industry and I suppose when you gointo corporate world or whatever you doin life you're gonna you're gonna seepeople who will help you up and in themoment they might see you surpassingthem they will automatically eitherswitch off or their will their won'thelp you as much if that makes sense andit's beautiful thing that you want Mirto be stronger than you to be betterthan you because that's exactly how I amwith my siblings so my siblings are allyounger than me and my dream in life isfor them to have it all figured out bythe time they hit my age today and Iwanted more to be financially moresecure I wanted to be physically bettermentally better so it's just lovely tohear somebody say that and hopefully ifMia hears this back as well I sure knowhow important she is to you as well yeahabsolutely yeah just don't start cryingI can imagine you getting emotionalabout that's lovelywhat we actually do now is we go into alittle bit of a fun part of this show soif you're ready I'm gonna literally jumpstraight into that we're gonna start inthree two onewhat did you eat for breakfast water isthat it okay sorry doc the ability tofly or be invisible your favoritesubject at school money your fame playyour proudest moment your favorite foodprayer words Netflix or YouTube Netflixyour number-one goal this yearfavorite TV show ever would you ratherknow how you would die or when you weredying how your favorite hobby love ormoney love books or movies if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be your worst fear asa child being forgotten words what isyour biggest addiction my phone yourfavorite place in the world that'soutside speak or languages will be ableto speak to animals if you could abolishone thing in the world what would it beand finally your favorite song ever umit's called it's supposed to be afavorite song okay okay I've not heardthat one but I've just written it downso I check it out afterwards alrightI'll check it out anyway okay brilliantso back to the interview part we've gottwo more questions I would really wantto ask you so knowing exactly what youknow now Tiana with all the knowledgeand all the wisdom that you've acquiredin your short 21 years on this earth ifyou could go back to a time let's use 14as an example where things had juststarted to take a turn probably for theworst knowing what you know now and youcould whisper something to a youngerTiana at 14 years old what would you sayI would tell her to keep fighting keepfighting keep trying and I gave up for aperiod of time so I would stress don'tgive up just keep going you know asas instead of finding Nemo just keepswimming just keep swimming and I wouldI would tell me that I'll say it's allworth it it all works out and you justhave to keep going and keep pushing keepstriving I love it just keeps him inNemo style I love it okay brilliantsuddenly that actually brings us to thelast question and the last question I'llagain always ask my guess is if in 150years time science fails to save us alland all that is left is a book and thisbook is about Tiana and it's about yourlife and everything that you've achievedall the wonderful hotels and everythingamazing that you've done in the worldfirstly what would the title of the booksay and then secondly if the person wasto turn over to the back what would ittell us about you I think the titlewould be on the other side of adversityor life not according to plan and theblurb on the bag would kind of theywould talk about it would talk about mygreatness as opposed to like everythingthat I've been through my struggle wouldbe such a small portion maybe twosentences but I really want my story tofocus on not what what I was able toaccomplish and who I was able to helpand how my plan my businesses were ableto give back and create something invarious communities and multiplecommunities across America I don't wantit to be this girl was in foster careand she made it out and now this is whatshe did I wanted to be Tiana bond willhelp people Tiana bar wolf came that shecame back she gave back and she was shewas there hmm I don't want my story andfoster care to be the main focus in mylife I just love that I think that's soso powerful and I think so many kidsfrom foster care or people that havebeen through so much adversity probablywant the same thing so thank you forsharing that actually because that'swhat I think the world should have moreof but I think we're also in a societywhere if you say TR and Obama came fromfoster care and achieve this it kind ofsells more papers it gets more retweetsit gets more teachingwell I think is brilliant because justthinking about this episode that we'vejust recorded now it's been a very happyinspiring episode and I'm very gratefulfor you taking that approach as well andsteering the episode that way as opposedto we could sit here we could cry aboutthe year of what it was like going intokinship care for example but insteadwhat you said is this was a wobble in mylife you reflected on it you realizedthis was the person that you wanted tobecome the person that Tiana was meantto become is kind of strive and do somany more amazing things and you managedto change that you change your habitsyou went to university you're nowgraduating and I just think I stand hereand I mean to be honest we're completestrangers but I'm just very very proudof how far you've come and once again Ithink you're gonna do amazing thingsthank you for sharing your story thankyou thank you so much for reaching outthank you for giving me the opportunityto come on podcasting and talk and youknow potentially touch so many peoplewho are in a place where I wasabsolutely I think we should allactually take one great lesson from whatyou've just said is that we shouldn'tjust look at people for theircircumstances or how they're positionedin a family we should rather look attheir greatness that they already havewithin them and I and I've tried to dothis with my siblings as well becausethey all have their own unique skillsand like talents and I think you'veshared a very very valuable lesson thereso before I close the show Tiana what Iwant to do is give people an opportunityto maybe interact with you who havefollowed this story who resonate withyour story to maybe follow you onInstagram Twitter or whatever othersocial media platforms that you use soif you wouldn't mind could you pleaseshare some of your platforms yes so myInstagram is underscore CIA and a K Vunderscore and my my Twitter underscoreTK V in Gigi okay fantastic what I willdo is actually take the exact addressesand I'll put them into the show notes aswell so people can literally from theepisode click it and then follow you andhopefully engagevia that I think also if you wouldn'tmind as well let's keep in touch becauseif it's anything to do with real estateI'm always interested in perhapsinvesting or being a part of it andagain if there's any sort of socialenterprises or anything you want to dosocially I'd always try and find time totry and make an impact on that as wellso certainly please do you keep in touchI will I will definitely keep in touchwith you an amazing yeah yeah I thoughtI always like to try and mix it up buthonestly I just want to say once againthank you to you I want to also thankthe listeners at home thanks forlistening thank you and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 17- "Wonderfulness of Life" - Louise Blyth #17 Part 1Tagline: "Be the captain of your fate and master of your soul"Louise Blyth, is an incredible lady who has experienced losing the love of her life, George Blyth tragically from cancer. With cancer now affecting 1 in 2 families it is a common occurrence so many of us face in our day to day life. But unlike any other story Louise world took a massive turn upon the sad death of her spouse and soul mate.Experiencing a supernatural event during his last few days Louise beliefs, perceptions, outlook and whole world had been turned around where she found herself finding, what she describes as "the greatest love all of us could ever know"A 2 part special episode, this incredible story does not lean on an emotional tale which will have you in tears of sadness, despite its tragic theme. Instead, tears of happiness seeing someone recover from grief and finding a bigger purpose and understanding of her being in the world takes over the story's narrative and leaves you feeling rather refreshingly happy that in such a sad circumstance someone can continue their life in a positive, fulfilling way.Now a widow of 2 children, Louise has created The Wonderfulness of Life which focuses on, Happiness being a choice and a state of mind.I am sure you will all agree this story truly warranted two episodes and if anyone can take anything positive away from this, it is to cherish all the moments we have with our loves ones and find blessings in whatever cards we are dealt in life.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.thewonderfulnessoflife.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-blyth-207a7a49Instagram: https://instagram.com/wonderfulness_of_lifeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/louise.Blyth83Have an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so before I begin thisannouncement I just want to say amassive massive massive thank you toevery single one of you who havelistened to this show I also want to saya massive thank you to anyone who haspreviously listened to his show and lefta review because it's your reviews thatI've helped us get into the news and notworthy on iTunes now this is no smallfeat this is actually an incredibleachievement and the more I research itthey're more proud I actually feel butmore importantly I'm so proud of myguests and I'm so grateful that theywere able to share their journey but I'malso so happy to have such loyallisteners like yourselves to reallysupport this movement and that's exactlywhat it is it's a movement it's abouttrying to inspire people try and put apositive beacon of light into the worldand really try and get everyone to livetheir best life combat their excuses andreally change their perception andmindset so without rambling on too muchwe have a really really excitingtwo-part episode coming up for you nownow this is actually our first evertwo-part episode and conscious of yourtime which is obviously our biggest andmost important commodity I'm gonna jumpstraight into this one okay so I justwant to start by thanking Louise for hertime and coming onto the show today toshare her story which I'm sure you'reall gonna find absolutely inspirationalso Louise how are you doing todayI'm good thank you I'm good fantasticfantastic so I just want to say thankyou I appreciate you and I'm reallylooking forward to this one so this wasactually a recommendation from somebodyelse you may haveone heard previously on a podcast it'sepisode number fourteen and it's my betdaily Rylan it's something that I urgeall of you to check out because it wasactually within the first four hours itgot the most number of listenstraightaway so it's a great hit and I'drecommend you all going back to thathowever moving on now we have anotherfantastic guest in Lewis so Louise Ithink it's really important for thelisteners to understand your story andunderstand a little bit about yourselfas well if you if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just kind of give us aninsight into yourself a little bit aboutyour journey and what basically bringsyou here today yeah no worries so and ifI'm completely honest I never thoughtthree even four years ago that I wouldbe someone that would be sat beinginterviewed on a podcast talking aboutthe subject that I'm going to bring tothe table today which is lossbereavement and life after livingthrough sort of that kind of trauma soso my story is from nottingham fromrobin hood that's where i kind of growup grew up and spent my childhood had afantastic childhood my parents reallysort of put myself over the first I waskind of one of those people at schoolthat was not really super cool but alsoI hope not too much of a mega geek andyou know you did did the normal stuffkind of growing up going into nightclubsprobably too young being carried out ofnightclubs after having drink too muchso my friends before say probably tooyoung and went away to university at 18where I studied French and actuallylived abroad for a year when I was 19which was quite young and that was Isuppose my first experience if I'm beingbrutally honest of life if that makessense so in terms of really realizingthings around loneliness relationshipsbeing able to kind of go it alone and dothings for yourself because essentiallywhen you're on your own in a foreigncountry you have no one else to rely onother than yourself and I and so thatwas that was really really kind of bigexperience in my life and graduated inin 2006 probably like many so you reallyexpect it about what life had to offerme and had one of these huge plansaround what I thought I was gonna be andwhat car is thought I was gonna driveand what house I wanted to have hadn'tmet kind of anyone special at that pointthere's been a few a few boys but no onewho'd kind of really made me sort of situp and take notice and in 2006 I wasaccepted on to a training scheme agraduate training scheme and that waskind of a supposed to start of where mylife really really started to change soI I started there in September and on myfirst day in fact before my my first dayon the induction day I met George who Iwould fall in love with and marry so wewere part of a group of about 30 peoplehe will join together and we had a greattime it was like being at university youknow me we were there training togetherliving together all became really reallygreat friends but he was the guy thatkind of more than anyone else you knowwas not never first I on any level I youknow I remember thinking oh my gosh thisguy's so confident you know he's reallysort of sure of himself but we justbecame really great friends and we usedto would talk all the time and then itwas that that Christmas so this is theSeptember when we started our job and itwas that Christmas when we actually kindof had our first kiss so he'd he'dreally really raison he said when hefirst were in the business oh well I'mgonna be I'm gonna be in Edinburgh soI'm gonna have a hub burn a party andwe're all gonna come to Edinburgh andhave this holiday party and I rememberthinking oh my god who is this guy likethey're so confidentso anyway true to his words you knowfour months later there we all were sortof twenty or so others at his flat in inEdinburgh and that's kind of whereGeorge and I had our first kissNew Year's 2006 2007 and after that youknow my life my life changed in aninstant I know for people that arelistening that of maybe you know you'vemet someone that they know that theywon't spend the rest of their life withwhen you meet that special person youknow really it is everything that you'veever hoped for it is kind of like themovies and the songsand it's it's truly beautiful it's areally amazing experience and we knew weknew from the outset that we hadsomething special I think that often youdo you know it was more than just afriendship it was a kind of deeprespectful sort of love it was it was itwas powerful you know and so we kind ofwent on living our lives together youknow as what happens when you meet theperson that you want to spend your lifewith you know you stop being you stopbeing as our lives became more and moreintertwined so we we lived apart welived togetherwe vented together we bought a housetogether his kind of his career wentfrom kind of great amazing as he kind ofcharged through the ranks from corporateperspective we were engaged in 2010 wewere married in 2011I felt pregnant we had off this babyquite quickly which was just a hugeblessing and we it gave birth to of thisson in 2013 so for all intents andpurposes we were the couple that thathad it all we were probably the peopleand I hugely recognize this that peoplelook to in kind of discipline oh howthey got this you know like they'vethey've met young they've both got goodjobs they're doing really well hopefullythey thought we were nice people youknow we had we had a nice house we drovenice cars we had a you know we had wedecided we wanted to have a baby and itjust was easy we got pregnant and I hadno problems with my pregnancy so youknow we were on to a good thing life waslife was really really great and then wedecided to have another baby and I gotpregnant very easily again and shortlyafter office and was born we moved houseso we relocated back to Nottingham surebecause by this point we're living downsouth because that's like the street sirI paid gold and then whilst I waspregnant with our second son George justhad this overwhelming feeling which Ican come back to and talk about somemore and as we kept kind of maybe deeperinto the interview there that we had tomove that we had to move back to myhometown andum so we we bought a house when I wassix months pregnant and moved after ourson was just born to me with an 8 weekold baby at that time that's when Georgestarted to be presenting with symptomsthat just weren't you know wasn't welland we couldn't get to the bottom of ithe was wrong he constantly had a cold hewas always tiredhe was really rundown he had low reallyreally low energy levels and because ofthe stage and the circumstance of ourlife in that we had two incredibly youngchildren Zoey at this point you know wehad a three-month-old baby and atwo-year-old son and you know justNewhouseGeorge was commuting to London from ourhouse and Notting Michelle it is a bigcommute you know said not you know notfor the faint-heartedwe just continually put it down to thefact that this is what life is in yourseason and you know you try and haveyeah we're rundown you know this ishaving kids everyone whinges about thetiredness and the exhaustion which is ayou know it's part of the territory ofyou know you don't live with yourchildren but it just didn't sort of seemto get better and there was thiscontinual niggle that was there andessentially basically we pursued it andto cut a long story short of how weactually came to this conclusion wedecided to send George for a colonoscopywhich is a process where you basicallyhave a camera put up your bottom it'snot that unpleasant so he went off andhad this procedure and I mean this iswhat our life was like at this point intime our and so he decided to have thisprocedure in London because he rememberhim saying to meyou know I'm so busy at work what I cando is I can go to work and then I can dothis after work and I can come back andI can still behave at that time wegenuinely didn't think that there was abig you know big big reason to beconcerned all of the health careprofessionals had said to us there's nota reason to be worried he's so younghe's 33 it's definitely not gonna bebowel cancer and basically that day thatyou had the colonoscopy which was thethe 9th of December 2015he called me I was at home literallykind of quite literally walking aroundthe Christmas tree and my little boyanswer and with a little Senate nurse weputting all my fairy lights out thinkingwow you know life's amazing this is grayand he called me and that phone call wasthe moment that just shattered my lifebecause having your husband ringing andsay the words I've got cancer ah it wasjust it felt like a time-space continuumand I yeah it was just hideous and Iremember saying to him oh my god shecan't know this already how do you knowlike it can't be which was actually theroute that I went domine when he told uswas exactly the route that all of ourfriends went down afterwards when weactually had to then tell them the newswhich was just as difficult as himhaving to tell me and I know now thatthat's the kind of psychologicalresponse in terms of you know plausibledenial you want to commercialise withwhat you're hearing and you want somehowto be like this isn't true this thiscan't be the case this isn't us you knowdo you not know who we are today and Iremember you know being on the phonewith George and crying and him saying tome it's fine like he'd managed to havethe force I mean this is the kind ofincredible guy he was he'd had theforesight to call my parents tell myparents what happened before he ran meso he could say to me after he told meI've got cancer your mum and dad are onthe wayyour mum doubt of coming over andthey're gonna be here any minute andthey're gonna be they're gonna be herethey're gonna scoop you up and I'm on myway back from London it was just so soso kind and so thoughtful which was justwho he was to his coreso that was December 2015 and our livesin that instant you know I often jokedwith people and say I sing the song fromFresh Prince of bel-air oh it's probablyshows the kind of generation that I amit was you know this Oriole upside downbecause in that instant it was my lifewas flipped turned upside down and yeahit was just everything that we knewabout our life was thrown thrown on thefloor but then that you know that wasn'tthe end that was the beginning of a newlife and a new existence which went onfor 11 monthsso we then lived in a season of stagefour bowel cancer so when George wasdiagnosed he had metastatic bowel cancerwhich is basewe can circle of lingo for the fact thatthe cancers bad and it spreads todifferent parts of your body and inGeorge's case it spread to his liverwhich is not good news obviously it'sone of our major organs that you need tofunction so George then lived through Ithink it was eight rounds ofchemotherapy followed by six weeks ofreally intense radiotherapy followed bya season of kind of watch wait let's seewhere this where these horrible cellskind of come back then he did a hugehuge surgery in the summer which issomething called the liver resectionwhich is essentially where you getchopped open and all of your liverthere's got cancer and chopped out whichis kind of just the most epic surgeryyou can imagine before he did that hecycled around London and raised a lot ofmoney for bowel cancer UK and then hesaid I remember him saying to hisoncologist you know just before he hadthis liver surgery I'm gonna I'm gonnado more bike riding and then this sortof all looking at him like he wascompletely mental eight weeks to the dayafter he'd had his liver resection hecycled from London to Paris releasedmore funds for Bar Council UK and thenshortly after returning home from thatboat ride he started complaining againfeeling unwell and we you know wegenuinely thought that we were on thesort of positive track with this diseaseand literally eight weeks the day afterhe'd stood in front of the eiffel toweryou know holding his bike you know inthis kind of really momentous epicphotograph that I've got of him he wasdead so he he went downhill incrediblyquickly and peacefully passed away onthe 18th of November 2016 so I was 33and I had a three year old and a tenyear olds and yes it was incrediblyincredibly hard yet was incrediblybeautiful and a moment of glory that Inever expected at the moment of hispassing so I suppose that was a realgame-changing moment when he died whichwas just absolutely beautiful andthere's no other word to describe itwhich is I suppose why my story's a bitdifferent because I think probably mostpeople are going to be expecting me tosay and then it was himyes and then it was all for and I lovethis season of grief and and it has beenand it was all of those things but itwas equally really beautiful because oftheir the way in which George died andwhat happened to all of this at themoment of his death which I'm sort ofreally excited to talk some more withyou about say and just stunned that lastbit and which we will touch on just in afew moments time I can tell that youwere going to have that response justfrom the way you were explaining yourjourney and everything that you've beenthrough so but when I think of concernwhat it's done to my family it becomes amore of an emotional thing and it'squite like even when you talk about itlike demeanor and everything changeswhen you say you can see that you'veactually found the silver lining in thisin this journey that you've had to takeand I just find that incredible so I'mlooking forward to hearing just a bitmore about that have balls and knowabout how it was one not only incrediblyhard but also incredibly beautiful Imean I'm taking notes here because Idon't want to miss anything and I'm surelisteners I probably think ask her thisask her this because it's so fascinatingbecause what you've literally describedis a fairy tale story and it's kind of astory that I suppose when we grow upthere's there's a thing and I was I wasdoing a speech recently and I was sayinghow you know how we go to school andyeah you get your results and then yougo to secondary school then you have theI love is then you go to university thenyou get married and you have kids andthen you retire at 65 it's almost likesomewhere in a in our subconscious Isuppose we reprogram to believe we'rejust going to lift or 65 wheneverything's just gonna fall in placeand then what happens it comes in boomit hits you how is he so hard yeahthat's why people struggle and I justthink yeah it's a I'm grateful thatyou're sharing this story because itwould just wake people up yeah I'm veryfortunate that nothing like that hashappened to my wife or myself at thismoment but I do try and live as if thatcould happen tomorrow oh yeah it wouldthat the nightmares that couldpotentially happen so oh you mentionedthat you've been travelling for a yearas well not obviously generate so wheredid you travel so I didn't travel so Ilived I mean sorry you lived you liveyeah yeah yeah and I said friendshipUniversity and I lived in fret in FranceI actually lived I need to be honest I'dlove to go back now as a 35 year old anddo I did then I lived in the noirWeinbergwhich at the time as a 19 year old hebasically like drinking wkt blue it wascompletely lost of me as like a kind ofcultural experience but it was part itwas part of my my studies in terms ofwhat I had to do to kind of learn thelanguage but yeah that was that wasinteresting and it's been reallyfascinating actually as I've taken sometime particularly this last year becauseI've been taking some time out of workto actually I'm writing a novel actuallyso I'm writing the story of what whathappened to is in that in detail becauseI'm really mindful that to try and relayit in you know an hour even in two hoursit doesn't do it justice which is whyI'm writing the story of exactly youknow all of the twists and turns and thebeauty of what unfolded but essentiallyyou know I've really realized that thatexperience that I had in France wasreally formative and actually wasequipping me with skills that I wouldneed kind of in the moment of George'sdeath and it was also interesting inthat some of the corporate experiencesthat I'd had as well so often you knowpeople always saying it's very clicheisn't it you know when you're having adifficult time people often say stuff toyou like you know this all happens for areason or you know it's in difficultywhere you learn and you know what Ihugely believe in both of those pointsbut actually when you're in thathardship and you're in that season ofstruggle and people say that to you ifI'm being brutally honest sometimes itfeels like a slap in the face becauseyou just you just feel kind of like wellyou don't know what is to be in thesituation I'm in and how do you knowthat I've been positioned for such atime as this but I think you have to Ithink you have to come to thatconclusion yourself I don't think otherpeople can kind of impart that wisdominto you and it's taken me to livethrough the experience of my husband'scancer and his death to wake up to lifedoes that make senseand I now look at all of theseexperiences that I've had the good andthe bad and go wow like I was being liketrained I was being because I waspositioned into that set ofcircumstances the reason why thathappened was to serve me later and whenyou start to reflect that in that wayyou often see that you've done that youdid do some really great learning in meseasons of struggle and they and theyhave served to make you a more full kindof person that can then cope and be moreresilient in times that will be eventougher may be that you face in thefuture say yeah this interesting I justlove that I just love your perspectiveon things and I think because I believeeveryone gets these potential lessonsand I call it potential lessons becauseyeah it's what they take from it reallyand yes that you mentioned resilience aswell and yeah I I've hadI mean I'm day two you know and I feellike I've had some ups and downs as wellin my life which I'm sure every singleperson has yeah the grass is nevergreener on the other side yeahabsolutely yeah I mean that's one of thereasons for this podcast but I'mgrateful now especially in hindsight ofall the adversity and everything thatI've been through because now whensomething trivial happens say forinstance in my day job or you got a flattire or something that would normally Isuppose dress me out five six years agoyeah yeah it just doesn't faze mebecause in the grand scheme of things doyou know what I mean you you snotabsolutely 100% yeah I'm interested inthis novel Azure which i think is gonnabe fantastic because like you said wecan't touch on everything within thisshort amount of time but I think justfrom listening to the opening 15-20minutes people are going to be veryinterested in hearing more about thismyself included and I think you're notalone in what you've experienced but I'msure that you're very unique in terms ofhow you've change your perspective and Ithink if you can hopefully help otherpeople who have maybe been through asimilar situation to maybe look at it inthe way that you said so I want to goback to that bit where you mentioned howincredibly hard it was oh but then alsoincredibly beautiful if you yeah yeah solet's talk about the hardship and thestruggle first I think you have you seethat fully fully understand that thenunderstand the beauty if that makessense you have to source it in thedarkness to feel to feel the light whichsounds quite cheesy but I think it's youknow that's kind of essentially the theheart of this story and you know thatmoment that if we go back to the momentthat I described to you earlier when youknow George was diagnosed with cancer itwas hideousand I often say to people actually thatis when my life changed and that is whenI started to grievebecause that was the moment that ourlives changed forever at that point wewere obviously still hoping there Georgewas gonna live to tell the talebut even if he had lived to tell thetale he would have been living to tellthe tale with the with the scar ofcancer and I think this is the part ofcancer that is so widely misunderstoodpeople want to treat it like a diseasethere is a heart problem or anorthopedic problem which is you know yougo to the hospital you have somemedicine and you get better and yourlife's all okay again and actually thereality of cancer at any stage that youget it is that it alters the check thatyour mindset and the course of your lifeforever because it fundamentally makesyou realize your own mortality in a waythat you've never had to realize itbefore and it also therefore because ofthat makes you live your life verydifferently it makes you live your lifein fear it also makes you live your lifewith joy because you appreciate and havesuch a broader perspective for theamazing and wonderful variety of whatyou see in everyday life because it isyou know that is where you live and inin the everyday not in the holiday thatyou've got planning for six months timeor the night out that you're reallylooking forward to a couple of weeks andand cancer really has a way of sort ofshifting your perspective and I think Ithink this shift of perspective isuniversal but obviously I think from myown experience is not fertile for anyoneelse he's impacted by this disease butwhat's interesting is you know once youkind of take some time to let the newssettle which you have to do and you getnews that big you know I remember forGeorge and I we had the classicfight-or-flight response and we actuallychose flight so we ran away essentiallyto the yorkshire dales which was whereGeorge's mother lived and basicallyspent sort of two or three days almostin hiding trying to figure out what wewere gonna do so yeah we we ran away tothe oxidase and there we sort of liketried to look at the situationpragmatically so both of this had sortof a spaceman entrained in the corporateworld because of the circumstances inwhich wewhich was on this kind of managementtraining scheme unit we'd both beenthrough quite vigorous corporatetraining so we've done all of the youknow separate the people from theproblem how do you make a decision allof that kind of stuff and actually wekind of said you know what we've got tokind of implement some of these skillsthat we've been taught in terms offacing this this beast that is cancerand that and that's kind of what wechose to do so when we actually sort ofapproached it as if it was almost acorporate problem and and I and I feellike I'm I'm I'm even laughing as I saythis because it because essentially thisis what we had to do we had to look atit as not a black dark disease that wasgonna claim our life we had to look atit as a unwanted guest that maybe movedinto our house which is how it fell andthen it was kind of like what what we'regonna do in this and once a guesthow are we gonna how are we gonna makeyou feel part of the family and then wedon't really want them to be here butaccept the fact that they are gonnaprobably eat our table now for theforeseeable future and we can't makethem leave they're only gonna go whenthey want to you know so we we looked atyou know what we could do and one of thefirst things actually that we did wasand it was George's this is alldifferent by George not by me was hesort of said well I'm not having cancerand I remember saying to him what areyou talking about you know you've gotcancer like we can't we can't get rid ofit just like that and say no what I meanis I'm not I'm not calling it cancer I'mnot I'm not going to be named as havingcancer because there's a lot in the nameI mean there's even a you know there'sthe beautiful Shakespeare quote of youknow if Rose has anything else you knowI can't I can't remember it and thebaton but it's about you know if it wascaught if it was still called over butit was cannot call the rose but it stillsmells so sweet and that same that samethinking and that same mindset is sotrue cancer because the problem is isyou say cancer to people and peoplethink death because people are so scaredof death and actually the reality thesedays is one and two people will getcancer and also lots of people havecancer and go on to live reallybeautiful long lives also have cancerand live really successfully with cancerfor a good number of yearsbut we all have this fear you know it'sessentially the Millennial tuberculosisthat you get cancer and it's literallylike then the Grim Reaper is their dooryeah so George George said to me fromthe from the outset I don't want cancerI'm not gonna have cancer I'm gonna havea project name so we we we were sort oflike I was like okay so it was it waslike a awesome cheesy episode of TheApprentice we were driving north and hewe were there thinking of names andevery name I came up with which I can'tremember any of the names I actuallycame up with he he was beating ofdallying no that's awful that's that'shorrendous I kind of thought I can'thave this then he said out of nowhereInvictus what about Invictus andhonestly when he said that name it wasliterally like a thunderclap in the carit was amazing like it shot wavesthrough my heart and I was like that'samazing I was like why do we both knowthis name a week googled it and we'relike oh it's an aftershave and then wewould you know laughing joking whichagain is another you know like that is areal great way of building resilience soit sounds so awful and crude to say butto try and find the fun and the smilesand the everyday humor in amongst youknow this car crash that is your life isso important because you're stillyourself when you still find the samethings funny and you like eating thesame sweets and the same places eventhough you've got cancerI remember we're in fits of laughter bekind of like you know why on earth haveyou chosen an aftershave advert this isjust really cheesy but then when we wentfurther into it we found out thatactually the original naming conventionsare coming from this amazing poet and byErnest Hemingway which actually I nowhaving a frame on my wall at home andthe line the closeout line of the poemis this really sort of like thunderousclothes which basically says I'm thecaptain of my fate and I am the masterof my soul and those words we were justlike they were literally like boom toour hearts we were like yes okay this isit now we we are not having cancer sowe're having sort of project and victorsand that was the start of is Isuppose time to refrain what washappening to is but that also didn'tmean that what was happening to uswasn't horrible you know like there'slots of cancer there is hideous there isabsolute sleep deprivation becauseyou're so anxious about everything thatyou you go to bed and you can't sleepand you're wide awake you wide awakethere's there's an easier because ofthat because you're so exhausted you'reand you're trying to keep the show onthe roadyou can't remember sometimes the mostsimplest of things there's the the hugeimpact that it has on your daily life Imean essentially I was still onmaternity leave you know we had an eightmonth old baby so I was supposed to bethe one that was being looked afterbecause I was up at night you know stillwith a baby that didn't really know youknow day from night if I'm beingbrutally honest yeah and you know then Ihad to switch roles into this personthat wasn't just caring for atwo-year-old and a eight month old itwas also caring for a guy he was theretwo three who had cancer which for himwas just as difficult as it was for mebecause he was the the dad he was thefather figure of the family he wanted tobe able to provide and support his wifeat his children and the reality of thecancer treatment that he had was there Imean he had really really top-drawerchemo which was like I remember themsaying the hospital is it's pretty muchlike we're putting bleach in your veinsand he had it every 11 days so he didn'thave much downtime between treatment youknow he'd go on it he'd go on his go andhave his infusion and actually he thenhad to come home with a with a bottleattached to him which is a type ofchemotherapy that lots of bowel cancerpatients if anyone who's had bowelcancer is listening will be familiarwith and you then basically take thepump it's called a pump home with youfor three days so that was you know thatwas a man mindful in itself because wehad to explain to our kids what wasgoing on that they couldn't jump ondaddy and it wasn't ever that we keptanything secret from our children butyou know our oldest child was two yearsold you know how do you explain to a 2year old dad daddy's got cancer thathe's got this medicine on him I meanactually and that is what we explainedto him and we had to explain what thewords meant to him but you know theydon'tat that age they don't understand whatit means they it means nothing to themyou know for all intensive purposes forthem it was like daddy had a bottle ofCal Poly attached to him you know theydidn't get the severity of it and it wasreally tough and it brought up a lot ofstuff for me around you know what do Ido in terms of work so obviously I wasoff work on maternity leave I actuallywent back to work because I felt so muchpressure because I was thinking you knowI don't we'd have no idea how long thiscancer journeys gonna go on for and eventhough both of our employers were justthe most supportive employers B couldhave ever asked foryou always have that niggle in the backof your head that actually if this goeson for six years seven years are theystill going to be this supportive andlist understand a and I remember sayingto George you know I've got to go backto work George because we might be in aposition where we're only rely you knowwe're relying upon my salary and youknow you can't work which he neverreally wanted to face into so I wentback to work and even when I talk aboutit now I genuinely don't know how I didit I went back to work with aone-year-old just three year old and ahusband with cancer and was kind ofdoing my job as well as commuting toLondon and you know running a house youknow it was absolutely exhausting andexhausting in a way that makes your souleight you know it wasn't just it wasn'tjust sort of tired of the way thatpeople say I'm tired you know it wasexhausting and it was the relentlesssort of tsunami of it all because theway that cancer works is you kind of itis it's a long boil disease you know itisn't a disease there you know it goesit doesn't go away like an orthopaedicyou know injury like I said previouslyand it and it's it's always theresimmering in the background and everynow and again you get these huge wavesthat crash over you and they sometimesabsolutely come out of nowhere and it'sabout then how you how you protectyourself and what you what you do - Isuppose build that resilience and that'swhat we learn in that 11 monthsessentially initially it was like wewere all at sea we have no idea what thehell we were doing and gradually as theyearwent on we built that resilience muscleand we learned the techniques aroundwhat is it that's gonna help us and weknew that there were certain things thatfor us as a family he with the thingsthat work but that took some time tofigure out it wasn't like the next dayafter George I can't sir we went yeahthis is this is what we have to do thistrick is it yeahno no so it was so hard it was so sohard so hard yeahfirstly what a wonderful person hesounds like and I just in yourrelationship the way you were justfeeding a feature then you had thiswhole story behind Invictus Sol Invictusfor me initially yeah Paco Rabanne it'sthe which is what I remembered but alsothere's a film money as well yes andit's happened to feed on conquerable soWowyeah you actually said it in this momentthat's what I was feeling and I wasgetting almost goose thinking yeahthat's it how you guys have done it andit just shows the power of like thehuman will and the importance that wordsbecause just by changing that nameyou're not you're not necessarily sayingto listeners here listen let's brushcancer under the copy and pretend it'snot here what you're saying is okay weacknowledge it's here and some dayswe're facing it but we're gonna justface it in a more positive way to helpus move forward and I think that'sreally really yeah the way you've donethat and in terms of exhausting I meanwe all sit here myself included andwe'll have a 14 hour day or a 12 hourday we've been asked to do some overtimeand we feel you know what I'm tired I'mtired and here you are with no actualchoice with your back against the walljust showing how powerful the human mindand body in sync how much we're actuallycapable of doing and that also goes sexywhen you mentioned George who did thatrunning I mean who in their right mindif you think about it from a logicalperspective things after being choppedup I'm go go go raise money wait youknow you know what there are what Iwould say is I follow some reallyinspirational people on Instagram andparticularly love the the three womenand who created the you me Big C podcastand Rachel blance or sadly passed awayin September last year and I follow Ifollow the girls actually that do thatshow on Instagram and they ones a cancersurvivor one one is living with stagefour cancerthey are always out exercising andactually what I would say is it heyfor you to realize that your body isfragile and that you have to look afterit to want to look after it sometimesand actually the irony is is that Georgeactually was a fitness fanatic evenbefore he had cancer so he was on thesepeople that would go to gym gym and Iwould always be like what are you doingbut I had to say since he has had cancerand obviously lost his life to cancerit's made me go as well you know yourbody is so precious you have to lookafter it you have to be mindful of whatyou're putting in it in the way in whichyou're using it in the way in whichyou're nurturing it because it's it'sprecious to you and it's your onlyrocket ship you're not going to getanother one so you have to look after itand I think incredibly there is thismindset amongst the cancer community ofI am gonna do the stuff that like youknow that we run a 5k or run a marathonbecause almost as well you know everyoneknows the healing benefits of fitnessit's it's proven right so there is thismindset of just you know well I am whatI want to do this mentally even morethan I've ever wanted to do it so I doyou think it's crazy but I also thinkyou know not taking anything away fromGeorge because it was incredible what hedid but I also think you'll find thatthere are lots of people who areimpacted by cancer that also have thatabsolute mindset of no I'm gonna go forit I'm gonna raise this money I'm gonnago and do this and I think you're rightand I think but this is kind of what Iwant this podcast to do is not letsomebody have to suffer with cancer seesomebody also for with cancer to reallyunderstand what they're actually capableof because we're so much we're livingjust in the comfort zone all the timeand health and fitness is one of mybiggest passions so yeah I've alwaysbeen into it but then when I went touniversity was it was more about vodkacommands and hangovers sure yeah it wasthat kind of stuff for generallyspeaking up when I was about 25 I thinkthat's when cancer came into into myfamily only affected my own cause yeahand one of the things I started doingthen was really taking my health andfitness seriously so I blogged onpersonal training since then I'vetrained over like three 400 clients andI always know my analogy is I know thecircumstances for instance similar toGeorgia where you can be healthy you canbe doingright and then it's just not meant to beI can just come for what I always tryand do is just put the odds in my favorand I always tell all my clients justput the odds in your favor you know whenyou lift some weights or you do any sortof CV exercise cardiovascular you'reyou're you're reducing the chances of ofillness and that's kind of what I do soevery single morning without fail andunless some literally on my deathbedsorry or I'm traveling I'm training andI don't have to enjoy it but for me youknow it's 4% on my day just afteryourself and you touched on somethingthere by what you put into yourself andI think it's important for the listenersjust to know it's not just physicalconsumption like food and water it'salso what you say in your monitor yeahabsolutelyso the project Invictus that kind ofstuff is it's empowering and if you canjust so I just think there's this Icould talk about what you said now foranother five hours because I'm surepeople are going to pick up on thank youthank you for sharing all of that what Ineed to move it forward just slightlyotherwise we'll have a six hour podcastbut what definitely can get you back onso nice obviously change quite quitesignificantly now yeah yeah and it'ssomething that you obviously you'renever prepared for what is a day likefor yourself now and what I want to askmore in particular is obviously life'staught you so much so quicklyalready are there certain habits ortraits that you maybe do on a dailybasis that you think people listeningcould potentially benefit from yes so Imean the part of the story that haven'tgot into and maybe isn't one for thedates move maybe at halftime is the whatactually happened when George died whichin which I suppose was the absolutebeautiful firework finale to this wholeyear so if you imagine this 11 monthswhen George had cancer was like us itwas a slowly learning how to overcomeadversity and build resilience in a waythat I'd never had see before and thenwhen we realized that you know the endwas nigh when he was told there wasnothing that they could do and he wasgoing to die but weyou know how long it was going to be andwhat that what may or may not look likeand how painful it may be and all thoseother things that was the moment whereif I'm really honest and being reallyreally vulnerableI hit absolutely rock bottom because Ikind of when I don't know what to do nowyou know like all of this other stuffthat we've taught ourselves this far interms of you know finding three thingsevery day to be thankful for doingexercise you know renaming things tomake them feel more palatable you knoweating well to make sure we're we knowwe're making our bodies feel as great aswe can sleeping where we can in amongstnear the chaos of TV and children all ofthose things that other sort of thingsif you pick up any book on on resilienceand how to and how to kind of you knowbuild and and and work that muscle theyjust didn't work and I I remember justthinking oh my gosh like what what do Ido and it was it was awful and it meantthat we were both in a reallyemotionally low state which as I'm sureagain lots of people will identify withwhen you're in that place what happensis you lash out or the people that youlove the mostso we're in this hideous set ofcircumstances which was you know we knewthat George was gonna die and we hadwhat was probably the biggest row Ithink we ever had of our whole marriageour whole relationship because I wasreally angry at him and actually youknow what I was actually angry about himwhat I thought I was angry about him wasnot what I was angry about at him at allI was actually angry at him because hewas dying and that's what I now realizewith hindsight you know I was at I wasangry about him about something thathe'd said to us mom or not said to hismom but that wasn't you know and I'vegone back and rabbit reaction man thatwasn't the reason the reason I'm socrossed with him was because I was angrythat he was leaving me that he was gonnadie that he was not going to be here tobring up my kids that I was gonna haveto do life on my own in a way that I'venever ever expected to and that night Iwent out I literally ran out of thehouse into my car it sounds Hollywooddramatic and it actually was a littlebit that way and I got in my car and Idrove it was dogevening it was raining and I didn't knowwhat to do and I just felt lost reallyreally lost and in that moment Iremember thinking in my head where am Igonna go who do what who should go andsee if it goes to my mom and dad I couldgo see like my aunty best friends who'sthe person that I need that who do Ineed and I was I was sort of trying allthese people in my head to see if theyfitted with it the way I thought in myheart and none of them felt that theyworked and actually at that point intime was seeing a psychologist and Ithought do I bring her like do I go seeher I couldn't even bring myself to gosee my psychologist he was the personthat really you know I employed to sortof be the person I could take all thesethings to so I decided it in that momentthat I needed to go to a church and thenI was kind of like right really go to achurch and if I'm honest again I thinkit was rooted in some level of utopianmemory that I've got from childhoodprobably movies like home alone whereKevin goes to church and yeah has thatlike magical moment when he's missinghis mummy you know I was right I'm gonnago to church and tried that and to go toa church on this like rainy Octoberevening at about I think it must havebeen about five o'clock everywhere I waslocked her and I was so angry oran Ican't tell you how angry I amI was literally raging so I remember Ipulled my car over on a hard shoulderand I and I said at least she got out mycar and I screamed and at this point intime I was not a person of faith sothere is a purpose behind me telling youthe story and so I pulled over my carand I literally got out of my car it wasraining I was screaming and I literallyit was like I was boxer in a ring that Iwas a mad okay and I literally screamedat the universe if you are real if youare real you have to bleep bleep bleepbleep show me there was a lot of swearwords yeah I was crying I was crying somuch you know I couldn't even reallyspeak I was coughingit was awful I got back in my car andGeorge text me two words that just saidcome home and then I just wrote backokay he wrote back I'm not planning ordying anytimeSene and i just hysterically burst intotears and went home now that that momentwas a absolute another kind oflife-altering moment but it wasn'tlife-altering in that exact moment ifthat makes sense because then whatunfolded in this or three weeksfollowing on from me going out andhaving this moment where I went for itand said to God you know you are realit's now or never because I don't knowwhere else to turn it and God had neverbeen someone a force and an energy thatI had ever looked to previously but Iwas I felt like I had nothing left in mycup I had no place else to gohe was the only viable option left forme to go to and what then happened andwhat unfolded around George's deathwhich we maybe don't have the time todiscuss today was just supernaturallyunbelievably beautiful he died the mostglorified beautiful miraculous deaththat was completely driven by sort ofthe Holy Spirit just moving in andtaking residence in his room okay peopleI'm just gonna play the out role now forthis part of the show but the nextepisode should be available straightaway on your feed whether you using iOSor Android and I hope you enjoy thisjust as much as you've enjoyed thisfirst part of this incredible story fromLouise I know the next part certainlygave me goosebumps especially when shespoke about the supernatural stuff thatshe experienced and I hope you enjoy ittoo and once again thank you for allyour support and if you do get a chanceto leave this interview at the end ofthe show I'd certainly appreciate itthank you so much and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 16- "The Keys to Live The Life" - Jen Elyse #16Tagline: "If you're not laughing, you're not living"Jen, struggled with debilitating back pain and chronic fatigue and found no answers to conquer her condition. Having numerous consultations with doctors and specialists she was left to take control of her own life. Taking it upon herself to fix her condition she began to explore the importance of nutrition, holistic health, diet and movement and found herself regaining her health, wellness and living a life of authenticity and happiness.She is also Find Your Voice's first oversea guests and what a way to kick it off with a story of someone who makes no complaints about their life, seeks happiness in every opportunity, loves to laugh and make others laugh and continues to write her own story at her own free will.I hope you can all resonate with her story and take note of some great nutrition tips and tricks she mentions in this podcast that can help you all live a healthier, happier and higher energy lifestyle.Jen is also a holistic health counsellor, Reki master, actress, MUA, comedian and a lover of all things health and wellness and I can see this list growing! Be sure to check her out over at the show notes below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.fthelifewithjenergy.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenelyse/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelifewithjenergy/Facebook: Jen Elyse FeldyHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoicewelcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so we actually have ourfirst international guest on the showtoday and yes we have gone over to thestates so it's a fascinating storyactually because it's a story ofsomebody who are supposed reminds me alittle bit of myself in terms of she'sbasically writing her own story she'sdoing the things that she loves to do sowhether that's in health and fitnesswhether it's in comedy or whether it'sactually in acting as well and she'sdoing quite a few other quirky andwonderful things that we explore in thisepisode and again the purpose of thisshow and find your voice one of themeanings behind it is that we all usethat as a metaphor in terms of findingour path in life and then obviously asthe tagline States write your own storyand that's kind of what I want people todo I want people to find out who theyreally are and Jenn is certainly anexample of that so what I'm gonna do isjump straight into this episode becauseyou're gonna find it fascinating plusyou also get to hear a much betteraccent than myselfokay so firstly I just want to welcomeJen to the show and thank all thelisteners for tuning in today so how youdoing today Jen I'm pretty amazing yeahI got a wake-up call from my buddyHoward Hoffman at fresh green so he'skind of like I think he's better thanTony Robbins so everything's good oh wowwow is that a working relationship yeahyeah we do over more like friendshonestly we're probably like he's one ofthe rare companies I'd say our onlycompany's a traction buddies yeah I'm abig fan of him in the products yeah it'scool fantastic okay um so I obviouslyknow a little bit about yourself wherefriends over on Instagram that's kind ofwhere we had this conversation - perhapsrecord this episode today I think it'simportant for my listeners to obviouslyget to know you a little bit so if youwouldn't mind if you could just kind ofexplain how you progress through lifeand kind of ended up where you are todaymm-hmm okay I mines no I'm kidding okaylet me see well I do a lot of things Iwrote comedy last night for four and ahalf hours so I'm in a few differentworlds that a lot of people would thinkdon't really make sense and the but butto me if you're gonna live a full lifeyou need to be fit and healthy and youcan't have back pain I've had crazydebilitating back pain you can't be sotired you can't get out of bed and youhave to laugh and you have to feel goodand maybe you want to look good so whatI do now is I do hair and makeup that'scoolI'm most important thing is my healthguidebook I'm a whole health guide bookfor moods immunity energy and aestheticsI'm going backwards by the way becauseyou know I think people kind of need toknow where I'm at to be like oh okayand then reverse engineer yeah I like toreverse engineer things that make senseso there's a health guidebook so mousseimmunity and imaging and aestheticseverything from immune disorders toselling light in apps and fitnesstraining pretty straightforward but alot of different weird techniques andyeah the comedy writing last name shewill be very absurd so yeah comedy andhealth and beauty and fitness and actingand modeling and some movies are comingout so that's pretty much where I'm atnow unique and how did I get here umI've always been in fitness my wholelife my grandparents were likePrevention magazine before Preventionmagazine ever came out I was at theirdinner table saying what's the proteinso yeah that was always there and thenas far as being so passionate to helppeopleI had debilitating back pain from2010-2013 where I really couldn't take anine-to-five job because I didn't knowif I'd be able to walk so when you havesituations like that and chronic fatigueyou you know once you get over and youlearn what causes it and how to preventit and how to fix it for me at least Iwant to I don't want anyone to go intothat situation so I'm very passionateabout sharing that message so I'd saythat kind of sums it up you know mypassion says yeah yeah okay that'sfantastic so there's a couple of thingsI want to touch on there so you remindme a little bit of myself and this wasone of the reasons that I I reached outto you in relation to this episodebecause similar to myself I'm doing somany random things as well so I'm aproperty investor I'm a podcaster I'vegot a separate business doing personaltraining then I've got this socialaspect to my life so I'm kind of doingsimilar to yourself just kind ofenjoying myself through life and kind ofpicking and choosing whatever I feellike doing basically so that's alwaysinteresting and also you just touched onyou this back pain that you've had andobviously that going through thatsituation is obviously giving you a kindof purpose or suppose in terms of makingsure nobody else kind of feels that wayso if we could just touch on that alittle bit you mentioned was it 2011 yousaid that like I mean I've had fatiguesince like middle school high school andjust not being literally like cominghome from Middle School in high schooljust having to take naps and I had tobasically go from being an honor societyand in 12th grade just barely going toschool so I wouldn't want anyone to gothrough that and I've had a lot offatigue and then the back pain was late2010 to 2013 and that was pretty bad tooand I'm just looking at obviously yourInstagram profile now where you're ingreat shape you're doing all thisfitness stuff have you found theunderlying cause for that was it somesort of information was it anemic orwhat was it yeah that's a good questionum my friend who just caught it wouldyou sell the back pay and I said nobecause it took a million years I'mdealing with quote if you saw me I'd bequitting quotes up quote good doctorsand you're the best of the best and goodareas but they weren't helping me soI've been failed by so many doctors andexperts in the fitness field the healthfield nutrition field the back painfield energy field that I really had tojust take bits and pieces from you knoweither things that I'm pulling from thecollective consciousness or downloadingif you're into the spiritual realm andtake you face from books and reallypiecing together my own plans so whatcaused it is what I found basically youtake a piece of paper and you divideinto two sidethe left side look at the left side isthings that cause back pain or causefatigue and then the right sinus thingsthat prevent it in alleviate I found allthese different things that can causeand prevent it and that I know how tofix it so Wowyeah it's I will say that and when Ifound the clients because I fixed backpain would be fear alcohol crappy dietscan I say shitty like there's somethingyou can say what you okaybut I curse on you yep yeah are you sureyeah yeah all I do is when the episodecomes out I just label it as explicit soit's not a problemOh perfect let's do it explicit that Idon't eat character it's really stiflingalright cool so like shitty foods shouldshe know a crappy processed food likepizza stuff like that causes informationfear over here yeah if you're notstretching doing tightening contractingworkouts without stretching so likethere's a whole bunch of things butthose are some main onesoh wow that's interesting so you alsomentioned they're you honest likeclients know who you're working with arethey able to access your services viaInstagram have you got anything for usUK people over here because obviouslyyou across the shores over is it in NewYork yeah so with Fitness I've done I'vedone a few video trainings but I reallyI really do think if you're gonna dotraining you should have someone thatcan physically touch you move you aroundbut I've had some clients request it soI'm like alright whatever but um as faras nutrition and that corresponds to theback pain I do think you have to havethat nutrition because that's the fearit's the lifestyle it's relationshipsthat's to me that's one affect your soacid it's gonna affect your lower backin my whole sacral area so yeah I do mymy health guide book that I do via videoso and then I send a copy of the book soI'd have to literally just send it Idon't do it through an e-book I actuallygive hardcopy books to everybodyexcellent and the final thing I want totouch on was a you mentioned comedy andI've watched some of your videos onInstagram as well so again it's justanother another unique thing aboutyourself what got you into comedy I justmight be a my parents are really reallyfunny so I'm just that's just the way Igo through life aside aside fromlast four months I dated someone whoproduces literally produces like dramaall the stuff he does is like drama andhe pretty was found on my life so I waslike oh let's let's try this but no I Ilike I like living in a comedy life Ilike to wake up with jokes in my headit's just it's just a nice way to gothrough life it's a good high vibrationif you give you're into thatabsolutely yeah so are you doing at yourstand-ups then in terms of what weed Isay from the UK we look on junglers orsome sort of comedy show you say okaywell a sketch sketch I do have astand-up written but I like I likesketches I like to do charactersso that's what we did last night we'regonna be doing I can't really tell youbecause I'll ruin it but we're gonna dosome we'll probably some live events butwe'll do a Facebook live and it's gonnabe all these different charactersthere's going to be a lot of Facebooklives going down like in characters andpranks fantastic well I'll make sure Ido is at the end of the show get yourdetails obviously we can put that forthe listeners and then obviously theycan smile and what's just there's morevideos yeah only two people laughingthose two people had a kind of smile ontheir face absolutely absolutely I agreeokay so I'm a big big believer that weare a result of the thoughts we tellourselves and the habits that we kind ofput ourselves through on a daily basismyself in particular I have a specificmorning routine similar to yourself isit's mainly around like healthwell-being my mindset and everythingwhat kind of routine do you have on adaily basis or is it kind of ad hoc andyou just kind of firefighting your waythrough life because you do do a lot ofthings yeah kind of switches so let'ssay like next week weekend there'ssomeone from an over show that's gonnawe're gonna have to talk about thesketch comedy show so that's gonna bepart of me that next one today totoday's you and today I'm gonna bewriting Facebook ads and I'm also goingto be meeting with the nutrition clientso today is one day I let myself wake uplate and I have wheatgrass and sprout soI take wheatgrass I get deliveries fromyou can get that by the way they deliverI've actually had it before and itdoesn't taste too great but I did haveit for aboutgreat this one's actually better becausethe ones I would get in the store Iactually almost threw upthe last ones I had it so this one'sokay and then the sprout cubes like itsprouts loose too I make them into cubeso I'm drinking sprout cubes andwheatgrass cubes and fresh greens I havemy greens and the reason I do that isone your alkaline there's so manybenefits to that there's so manynutrients but also it potentiates itreally has a synergistic reaction and itbasically just makes your stimulantsmore stimulating so I have coffee hereright now - and you're you're gonna feelthe effects of coffee more if you havegreens so that's that's pretty much howI start the mornings as far as drinks goin lemon water or ginger water inturmeric water and then on Tuesdays I doa lot of cocaine and then I have hookerswaking up so that's what use knees go yaknow a bit of abundance then yeah Idon't pay for it no I tell super byright movement you know get the looks goand get the blood flowing get a littledetox fasted cardio I try to do fastercardio so if I can't get to the gym Iwalk around my house in circles and I dowhatever I gotta do so that's kind ofwhat I did right before talking to youso that's today Vernon excellent I'veactually just done my cardio just beforespeaking to yourself as well because Ifind it kind of clears my mind and itjust makes me a little bit more creativeI suppose I'm jealouswhat's your momma with you my morningroutine I wake up in the morning and thefirst thing I do is like a gratitudejournal and I'd have my day planned outfrom the night before so I write mygratitude journal and I do this reallyweird thing so how a lot of people kindof inspire themselves and want ovatethemselves with their dreams and allthis exciting stuff I kind of think oflike the most morbid nightmare thatcould possibly think of I need somethingBad's gonna happen potentially to myselfor my family and what that kind of doesis it kind of fires me up and gets meout of bed to really kind of seize theday and not my - excuses yeah yeah Iknow it sounds morbid but it's actuallyquite motivational any no yeah I justI use all my adversity and stuff likethrough life just to kind of channelthat into your positive then the firstthing I do is go to the gym I try andtrain fasted similar to what you weresaying earlier and then I'll come backand I'll have breakfast withthe wife and then I'll crack on with mywork depending on what I'm doing in theday and when I kind of hit a slump whichis normally like after lunchtime that'swhere I just do a bit of cardio becauseit lifts me back up and then I'm then II just kind of again I do look at mygoals I write my gratitude again likesecond time in the day and I kind ofwrite like my five wins for the daybecause I think sometimes we're so busyand especially on social media whenyou're comparing yourselves with otherpeople instead we forget the progressthat we've made in life as well so Ikind of use that to just reflect andit's me just being more mindful of thethings I'm doing I suppose because Ithink there was a big period in my lifewhere I was just on autopilot if thatkind of makes sense but I do try andincorporate a lot of health foods sostuff like chaga mushroom lion's manecoffee that kind of like organic stuffbecause I listen to the model house showby Sean Stephenson and I do try and takea lot of oh my god he's amazing yeah Ilisten to all these stuff and anyanything he kind of recommends is whereI'll kind of go obviously in the UK it'sdifficult to kind of get the stuff thatyou guys have got over there so when Iwent to New York recently I broughtmyself some of that coffee obviously weget wheatgrass and karela and spirulinaand all those kind of good things hereso do you try and put as many goodthings into my body but I suffered a lotwith binge eating too many just about meI kind of find that I have to for if Ifancy a biscuit or a chocolate I have tohave that then because otherwise I'llsuppress my feelings for seven days andthen I'll eat like 300 of them if thatmakes right no it's holding if you havemy family is like eating themselves todeath so it's definitely I get it it's ahorrible condition isn't it because italmost becomes a vicious cycle becauseespecially I mean I'm not sure when youhad it but when I did it what I would dois I will train three times a day forthe next four days almost like torturingmyself and then yeah it's horrible thenyou keep then you get to a point whereyou're absolutely starving and then youend up gorging againi in 10,000 caloriesand you're thinking this can't be rightso for me it's kind of being practicalthinking what's sustainable and so I tryand get all the best foods I can in themowning hard right train everything andthen if I fancy a treat like just beforeour bun on the show with you I had acouple of biscuits and I'm good I'mhappy so yeah right right but on thebinge eating um it is an addictionactually I'm going to become a certifiedpeer recovery coach there's a trainingfor that I'm going to apply that with myhealth counseling because I don't have Ido I did take some classes in addictionbut I want to take more and more formalclasses because what I'm finding is thatlike my last client doesn't her name isnot listed so it's totally confidentialso confidential clients to the pointwhere people don't even know I donutrition but um a lot a lot of peoplewho have the binge eatingyou know it's comorbid they're also hadmaybe had a history of sex addiction oralcohol or opiates it usually runs handsin hands attempt it tends to at leastthat's what I see and these people ifyou can apply even if they don't havethe substance addictions I'm applyingthe principles of addiction for manydifferent belief systems really helps itreally helps easing you know that'sfascinating so you till you're in theprocess of becoming that coach now yeahI'm going to I'm going to hopefullyhopefully it starts next week yeah didlike you haven't got enough things to bedoing right I know well you know is Idon't have kidsand I don't have a husband so that freesup a lot of space where I can do a lotof things a lot of people say you haveto pick one I said well if you don'tkids and you don't go to breakfast lunchand dinner and you still have hangoversanymore you can kind of do a lot ofstuff yeah good pointjust I'm going off on a little tangenthere you mentioned at the beginning ofthe show I think it was fresh coal andyou've mentioned all this nutritioustypes of food that you're taking whatkind of brands do you recommend I'm justthinking for the listeners who maybewant to just make it a take on a bit ofadvice and try something sure sure okaylong list I bounced around because thisis a thing even even if you know themanufacturer and make highly researchthings there might be substances in thefoods that they don't know about youknow it's just like with the world howit is in the polluted waters so I liketo diversify a lot so withI'll do fresh cooking's I would do freshgreens for since 2010 and that I met theowner and it was like I was alreadytaking this stuff for eight years Ifound that on a podcast while in myshower and then we became friends sofresh greens for sure also on PuriImperium is a network marketing companyI don't sell it but I am a fan of theirgreen vibrance green affair um so I likeI really think it's good to bouncearound I do like the periodit's a beat what is it it is apre-workout and it's called can't beatthis before pre-workout pretty amazingso they vasodilator of beet powder lovethat beet powder as far as supplementit's not really a supplement you buy butyou can do this yourself so I highlyrecommend this you can do all this withlemons turmeric ginger and sprout theydo is all for you just take sproutslemon turmeric ginger putting a blackthey're all separate so the lemons arejust with water in a blender and thenblunt it turns into a pulp and then youtake the pulp and you put it into an icecube tray or many ice cube trays andthen you freeze it it becomes ice cubesand then you take those ice cubes put itin a bag so every time you have wateryou can just take an ice cube and put itin your water it's already prepared nomess grilled yeah so that's the turmericand the ginger a big one and those arenatural it's not a company see I think alot a lot of these brands we don'treally get them in the UK which is why Iwas quite envious because I listen toSean Stephenson quite regularly and he'ssaying and talking about organifi andall these crazy supplements that justsound like they're amazing but thenobviously you go to the UK shoppingcentres and it's pretty much basic stuffyeah so yeah yeah it's very difficultand I think they've started to do likeorganic ranges now where you've got ourwhole foods and stuff but everything'sso overpriced I'm just thinking for theregular family well maybe maybe stufflike you've just mentioned like gingertumericlemons which is relatively cheap foodthat you can almost make some sort ofconcoction yourself yeah just blend ityou can do it fresh but it makes a messit takes time and if you're really busyjust to go in your freezer and take theice cube and pop it in water it's soeasy yeah I'm not gonna grind soureveryoneis that yeah of course okay fantastic sowe've spoken a little bit about yourlife now obviously you're doing all thisweird and wonderful things I want to askyou something a little bit suppose alittle bit personal and it might againgo back to that situation about yourback or it could be something completelydifferent I want to speak aboutadversity and the reason I want to speakabout adversity is because I'm alwayskeen to see how people overcome theiradversity because I believe we're almostfaced with the choice when we go throughsomething difficult we either give up orwe continue moving forward and the wholeemphasis behind this show is to showthat the show must still go on so if Icould kind of ask you to maybe talkabout a time that you've been throughsome level of adversity and how youpersevered through it and moreimportantly what you learned from itright right okay so I kind of had that afew weeks ago breakups breakups willkind of do that to you but I'm gonna goup to the back pain I think that's thebest because that was a transformationaltime my life I really changed so the2010 Thanksgiving ish was the back painstarted setting in and when I say backpain it's it's not just all my backhurts there's a shooting pain that feelslike there's a needle being stabbed inyour back and it goes down to your feetwrong so that happens to 50% of the timefrom 2010 to 2013 in August and one dayI knew it was gone when I picked up myjuicer with one hand and I didn't feelback pain I was like oh my god I canpick a juicer up with one hand and Idon't feel back then and I started whatlike jogging through me oh my god I cantog and I was a trainer I remember I wasa trainer teaching workout classes andthat's when the back pain hit so that'spretty scary when your full time job isof cool teaching workout classes and youcan't walk across the room and Iwouldn't even drink water some daysbecause I couldn't get up to look acrossthe room to go to the bathroom that'show bad it was so so um yeah it took along time you know 2010-2013 is a longtime but there's a lot of things thathappened I went to a handful ofdifferent doctors that failed me and youknow that motivates me to help peopleand put together a cohesive plan thatworks that's why I'm passionate aboutsharing myself because nobody not onepersonwe'll help me unfortunately um switchedmy friends around that was reallyimportant I I wasn't um I wasn't analcoholic or anything but the lifestylein DC was you know it was very normallike once a week so if you're if youhave a lot of friends and I had a fewpeople even call me a socialite which isbizarre but okay so I guess I was prettysocial and teach you workout classes andthose two things don't mix don't ever ifthere's any yeahdon't try to drink tequila at a poolparty and smoke pot and then teach atwork you know until God knows when andgo to the MTV real world house and thentry to teach a workout class at 6:30 inthe morning after teaching it quite a5-man you're gonna die like something'sgonna happen to you that's what happenedI drove myself into the ground so yeahso uh you know that the drinking Ialmost completely quit I realize it'sjust a poison for me it doesn't work myhalf my family just can't drink alcohollike our body is just like my functionso yeah it's so the alcohol is reallysmall the whole diet change the friendsthat want to go out and drink and wearhigh heels because I I can't really dothat with my with my back high heels arefour sheets in the bedroom you knowgoing out at night on Fridays andSaturdays and living a normal life no soI don't I have my fun in much differentways now and those type of friends Ihave or people want to create with meyou want to write comedy and sketchesand you know just do fun cool stuff likethis you can be healthy and you can bekind of bad person you can curse and youcan do all kinds of fun stuff you don'thave to live a boring life to be healthyyou really don'tyeah I think that's a great point and Ithink it's probably something that a lotof people go through is especiallymyself so when I first got into fitnessit was very difficult because similar toyourself I was very sociable and I wasalways going out for drinks on a FridaySaturday and it's kind of like an Indianculture here where you just kind of justgo to the pub on a Friday Saturday andget absolutely wasted and then hungoverthe next day you're eating kebabs andfast food and then back on it again andinitially when I started especially myentrepreneurial journey because it'scompletely different to a nine-to-fivein terms of you're working more hours sothat lag and that hangover especiallywhile trying to keep in shape as wellwas so diffwhen you have in these two or three daysI just continuously going over and thenI almost had to kind of pull myself backas well from that social circle andinitially it was difficult because Istill found myself coming back but thenlike you said I've now got people in mycircle who we can just grab for a meal anice healthy meal and stuff like sleepand stuff I really especially again Imentioned him again Shaun's demon said Iprioritize my sleep just as much aseverything else that my hearth um andnutrition so I make sure I'm in bed by acertain time in order to carry on withthe day and like you said do all the funstuff because life for me right now Iprobably don't drink how I used to drinkbut I'm having just as much fun so it'syeah it's about reevaluating I supposeas you go through life priorities changeyeah I mean I gotta say that I meantoday has kind of just started for me Iwoke up late but today is I say one ofthe best days of my life and necessaryghosts are the most fun days and thereis no alcohol and there is not stayingup too late but um you know at first Ithink it first released for me it was alittle devastating because all myfriends not all of them but the friendsI used to party with for life it lookedlike Maxim models they're gorgeous girlsand they were these heels and they couldliterally be on a magazine and we go outat night and 8iv many sneakers I don'tcare I had to but it's like you can't Iliterally couldn't do the things that myfriends wanted me to do like couldn'twalk and I couldn't be athlete that allthe behaviors of the Fiat Li wearinghigh heels you can't help normally allruin my back so I had to kind of justdisappear yeah of course for your ownwell-being I supposeyeah and it's better it's just muchbetter I mean there's a whole bunch ofpeople that are doing I'm actually gonnamake a list and I can share with you Imake a list of all these things you cando instead of going out to dinnerbreakfast lunch and drinks and there'sso much actually that would be fantasticif you have got something like that whatcan actually put it in the show notes aswell yes so then people that wouldobviously give the list of some value aswell thank you I appreciate thatwell there'll be a valuable list becausea lot of people don't know what to dowhen people ask them to do these thingsand then they do it and they feel likeshit and then they're like well thislife is slice Lots it's like they'lljust create anyway yeah absolutely Ithink that's a great point that isbecause I suppose one of my excusesactually at that time was are there'snothing else to do you know it's aFriday there's nothingto really do but I think that list willcertainly help people thank you for thatyeah yeah I'm gonna do that and have the77 they're just absolutely sublimebrilliant fantastic okay so my nextquestion it's about fear so you're avery very happy bubbly person who lovesthe laugh but what kind of scares you isthere anything that scares you in termsof everything everything Wow okay byethat person like hey I think you mightsee my Instagram because you can seewatches your stories but I recentlybecame with on a comical level I'mobsessed with and then on a comicallevel I'm into it like 80% but on a 20%level I'm really into it because Ibelieve in it the show doomsday preppersso like home invasions and security andlooting and the government going orwhatever in the water levels rising likethese are some things that go through myhead all the time right okayyou know in a healthy way because I didin our environmental event a couplemonths ago and there are there is allthis research that shows that in LongIsland there's going to be I think it'sa hundred thousand people that will haveto relocate because there's they'regoing to have flooding in their homeslike there are real things going on sothings like that worry me and thenhomelessness has always been on my mindI've never gotten close to it but Ithink about it all the time which isweird I don't think it's weird I justthink I think it's different I think thefact that you're thinking aboutsomething like that maybe with likeempathy or something is it shows youryour nature in terms of I assume whenyou think about it obviously upsets youand you think that's not right I'm justtrying to figure out why something soexternal that's in terms ofprobabilities probably not going toaffect you while you're letting thatkind of consuming because it is anexternal factorI suppose consume me but it's somethingthat like it's just something that youknow I'm not driven by fear but it'sdefinitely something I think of like forexample I used to give my dad a lot ofshit and you would always have two carsand what are you gonna do you're gonnayou're gonna ghost ride the whip you'regonna have one foot on one car one onthe other and sometimes you talk aboutsaving money and I'd be like what areyou doing just get rid of one car so Iso by psychic and this is really bizarrebut she's looking good you're gonna bereally successful and all this stuff andblah blah blah you know by the timeyou're 40 and you're not gonna have towatch your money but you're gonna bevery preneur yes because and you'regonna save money you're not gonna wastemoney I was like yeah because I alwaysthink you know what if it's that $70001000 dollar purchase and that's why I'mhomelessyeah right okay yeah absolutely that'sit that's a different way of thinkingI've never really thought like thatyeah weird no no it's not weird at allit's just it's uniqueso clairvoyance I just want to touch onthat as I see do you believe inclairvoyance oh yeah I do I do I don'tthink that I definitely think there wasa lot of BS out there and we're more BSand there is truthfulness but I'll giveyou let's see I'll give you this examplemy first my first situation someone cameto my house in my apartment in collegeright after college and we had gone tothe University of Maryland and partyingour freshman year with like older peopleand it was crazy and she goes she goesshe walks in and I'm smoking a hookahand my diagram my living room table andI'm not really paying attention she goesJaden do you remember my friend Hollyand I just look up and I go he died likethat was my reflex reaction I didn'tfollow him on Facebook I don't have anyfriends in common we're at the sameuniversity and she just is like what thehell he died I just knew so I've had alot of situations like that where I justknow things it comes out of my mouth sosomething's going on yeah yeahI don't I don't want to scare off mylisteners I know yeah but I believe init as welland actually did a course for a veryshort amount of time I did it with mymom actually and just to kind ofunderstand what goes on behind thescenes of it yeah and yeah it wasinteresting not that I saw anything oranything but he kind of explained howpsychics say what they say ie they getimages and stuff and then it's kind oflike about interpretation how youinterpret what you're being told andactually there was a lady close to meand I actually I've probably been toabout ten times in my life and some ofthe stuff she's told me stuff that youcan't guess you know it's not stuff likeoh you're gonna have someone die of aheartor something very generic it's it'salmost like your great granddad diedbecause he had an infection in his lefttoe and that killed him and then I'vegone home and I've asked my dad and I'mlike wow how is that just happened soyeah it is some freaky stuff that youkind of think why there is something outthere but like you said there's probablya lot more fake people out there whichwas I suppose suppose the narrativereally but yet I got stories on storiesfrom the same psychic who didn't know mydad at the time and he didn't know hiscurrent girlfriend of like 10 or 12years they both saw the same psychic andthey described that they would meet eachother at the brick wall behind them andthe whole place and how it would happenand it happened that I mean that's oneof them is crazy so yeah and I actuallyuse it with clients I actually I'vetaken a few psychic development coursesjust because I used to really benegative about it I used to kind of likebe really mean to my mom because my momused to be able to crystals and I waslike listen does it make sense you'rebeing crazythe only way to knock something is tofully immerse yourself in to learn aboutit so I was like you know what I'm somean about this stuff I'm so negativemy name's like let's just take somepsychic classes in 2014 I met some guyat a grocery store and he's likeliterally throwing business cards at meso I was like alright let's try it and Iactually um i i've known with everysingle client 100% if they're a bingeeater if they're lonely there's certainthings i just know fine yeah that'sfascinating you have to keep me updatedin relation to your journey because whoknows how much they'll take you somemore courses as well myself i think youknow it's just good to know like ifyou're in real estate or if you're inthe entertainment business like i I knowpretty much right away now like if Ishould deal with this first right notjust you know it's not even psychic youcould even just call it intuition orjust reading people really well whateveryou want to call it it's just reallynice to be able to walk into a room andwygor having to deal with all these newpeople you know as an actress and belike you know and they gonna that youknow is it should I go to this auditionare they gonna steal my organs and theyget a kidnapped into versus a realaudition and it is a real audition isthis something that I should do so yougot a feel out so much and all theseindustries in real estate - you knowthat's where's your time just playingdevil's advocate there do you not feelthose sometimes and this isthe response I get from my wife orsomebody is that when somebody tells yousomething you almost start acting moretowards that kind of path if that makessense so are times where somebody saidare you gonna purchase this or you'regonna do this and then maybesubconsciously it's gone into my headsomewhere I mean I don't try and do itknowingly but you feel that maybe thatkind of and you can't rule that outyeah I will tell you writing a book is alot of sacrifice you know it takes hoursand hours and I've been writing thissince 2010 it's a hundred thirty-fivepages but I've had at least eight if not20 different psychics who don't knoweach other all over the world tell methat I'm going to be like a globalhealer and help people la ville Bluff sowhen you have all these people tell youthings it helps because if for me towrite a book and then think you knowwhat this is a piece of garbage no one'sgonna care but when all these people whoare you know winning awards would becollecting so they're all telling meyou're gonna change the world and helpall these people it helps it helps me togo reaffirms it right yeah me too aswell how more podcast is up okay yeahwhat helped a lot of people ten thousandpeople before I die that's what Idecided oh you do more than that you dolike definitely definitelyokay so you've actually kind of answeredmy next question which was aboutmotivation and I'm assuming your biggestmotivation is probably to help otherpeopleyeah to help people to be out of painand help the people who are strugglingto get out of struggle and to helpothers who are pretty much doing well tobe more alphonse really super win that'sa major main goal of mine I love that Ilove that tough one as well on the wayyeah you you gotta have fun you gottahave the vibration for fun actuallyyou know the vibration of fun is gonnahelp you to succeed more absolutely sowhat I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put youthrough the paces now having heard thebuzzer go off so we're gonna go in threetwo onewhat did you eat for breakfast we'respells coffee gold lemon juice theability to fly or be invisible invisiblemoney your fame money your idea job whatI'm doing right nowyour proudest moment mmm writing lastnight's comedy your favorite food man noI'm just kidding I know yeah I love somany things I don't have a favorite Idon't know Netflix our YouTube mmm shootyou YouTube's getting better networksright now your number one goal this yearput out at least 20 hilarious comedyvideos and to get my book to at least atleast 30 more people minimum if not 100tea or coffee coffee your favorite sportall racket sports where it's tennisracquetball ping-pong if you could sitwith one person in the world for an hourwho would it beoh shoot god I'm my dad in second AndyMilonakisokay why is your biggest addiction foodsummer or winter summer your favoriteplace in the whole wide world my homelately would you rather speak alllanguages will be able to speak toanimals animals if you could abolish onething in the world what would it be painin every single form your favorite songever Oh Godokay we're gonna go with what I listenedto yesterday which is not the truth butit's captain and it's Ricky Ricardo andthe final question is read minds orpredict the futureFinnick the future fantastic it's weirdthat the last question was actually inrelation to the stuff we were quitetalking about that's strangeokay fantastic so we're almost at theend of the show now just got a couple ofmore questions I just want to ask you soI'm a firm believer in hindsight being awonderful thing obviously we can learn alot from our lessons we can learn waysto get to where we want to get toquicker easier or with less heartachebut I'm also a very firm believer thatthe journey that we go through teachesus a hell of a lot so knowing what youknow now if you could take yourself backto a young agent and maybe whispersomething in her ear when she was goingthrough some level of adversity even ifwe look at 2011 for example what wouldyou say don't deal with true gas pitcheryeah basically I mean that it sounds sostupid but basically in who and that'snot you know at your level or basicallyrelated to the goals at hand and purposejust don't deal with them I love that Ithink that sound advice that's pretty okfantastic so that brings us to the lastquestion and the last question I alwaysask all of my guests is if in 150 yearstime we are no longer here and all thatexists is a book and this book is aboutyouit's about Jen it's about her whole lifeeverything she's accomplished or theweird and wonderful things that she'sdone firstly what would the title ofthat book be and secondly what would theblurb at the back of it tell us aboutJen oh man well first I'll just have tointerject and say that I would hope thatmy how-to guide book would be much moreprolific and well-known than a bookabout me because that will help morepeople but um that being said to answeryour question um the title of the bookmaybe you read this fuck off or the lifewhich energy and then the eggs blurbwould probably be how to live the lifethe life of the life without pain thelife with laughter good all by havingfun in health and having that that drawthe viewer you know yeah yeah absolutelyit's a terrible summary that's not herthing don't don't destroy it I'm sure wecan obviously work on it when it comesout but yeah no that's fine absolutely Ithink I think that's it that's a goodpoint you've said it a few times in thisepisode is about the fun bit and one ofthe things I've always preached in likeespecially in health and fitness so Ialways say it takes hard work and I sayyou need to be consistent with whateveryou're doing but my other two things arealways about sustainability andenjoyment that's kind of my four pillarsthat I always kind of practice I supposeso it's just interesting obviouslysomeone else who's in the kind of healthand fitness space as well that you alsosay you know you need to be happy andyou need to enjoy it basically as wellbecause I feel like we're kind ofmissing that element in there yeah inthe health effects especially yeah Iwould like to add to it though I mean Ilive to NTC my ownfor ten years away from my mom my dadand my mom definitely has told me nohave fun but my dad more so you know Iam very critical even though I like toact goofy and be stupid you know andjust played themI am very critical I can walk into roomand I'm an artist I was art studio artminor in college I can see every singlething that I consider to be a flaw and aperson in a home and I and how to fix itthis is just how my mind works so youknow as I the reason why I'm like thisis my dad would always you knowinfluence and try to be like you gottahave fun he'll ask me you know I'm likeI did this and I got an A or you know Ihelp this client or a bubble blind yougo well did you have fun did you have afire mmm it's a brilliant question toask isn't itit's and he's one of the most importantones as well yeah it's so important soI'm glad that you know he said he wouldremind me because I can be I can getvery serious actually mm-hmmI think the whole world can't to behonest and I think I'm not sure whatit's like over in the in the States butif you if you pay a lot of attention tothe media and the the television andyour newspapers here it's very very easyto kind of become depressed and justthink bad thoughts all the time becauseit's just so much negativity being postpassed around and you're almost justhearing like bad stories all the timeyet there's so much light in the worldas well and so much wonderful thingsthat I think need to be expressed a lotmore so it's refreshing that you hadthat attitude as welland I think I think the world would justbenefit more from that so thank yousharing that I appreciate it before wego Jen I just want to give you a chancejust to obviously for the listeners letus know where we can contact you andobviously are poor or they're the finerdetails into the show notes as well yeahI don't contact me I like my piece um nono I I like peopleoh the good ones the good ones so wehave two instagrams at the life withgenerally we have at Jen Elise we havemy website which just got hacked thelife with Jenner ChiCom Facebook JenElisefeldy there's Tumblr and Twitter and theTwitter is life with Jenner G yeahthat's good and in relation to yourpublication yeah I'm gonna havebits of things on Instagram and Facebooklike if you go to my facebook profilephotos of Congress on there's a lot oflike the major productions like there'sfive movies coming up and the next fewmonths so they're gonna be like you kindof go through that you'll kind of seewhat's going on but I also do have likea resume four people are in theentertainment business on backstage command I have like a seven page whole thingwith links and YouTube so you could justbe like okay just what what's going onlike can we just have it in one sheet soit actually lists everything I'm up toand it you know goes through voiceoverand health counseling and hosting andit's totally organize and categorizefantastic okay excellent so I'll makesure I put those all in the show notesthank you for your time today and foreveryone else at home thanks forlistening thank you as us and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a 5 starreview over on iTunes have an awesomeday See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ready to Positioning Your Business to Profit? Go to-->>> http://positioningtoprofit.com/Patty: Thank you so much for being here. It is always an honor to serve you with a nugget or two of these amazing women that we feature every single week. This episode is with Tara Romano an amazing woman head and heart.So. Always willing to be better to be a better version of herself and for that I admire her and the incredible work that she's doing with her brand tone and tease. Now here's the deal. It wasn't always all fabulous.Tara went through some setbacks and this episode we're talking about how to get unstuck in your business. She shares vulnerably about the ego that was overtaking her mission to grow a brand and she was making it about the numbers making it about the people that she was I guess influencing or impressing if you will. I think that's a better word impressing and it just wasn't working out. And she went through this whole evolution as an.Owner of her business and her brand. And I just absolutely adore her so please listen closely. There's also details about an event that she has coming up on the East Coast as the time of this recording. So make sure to check that out again everything about Tara Romano on this episode and how to get unstuck in your business. Thanks for being here.Patty: All right Tara Romano thank you so much for being on her legacy podcast. It has always gotten me that don't you. I think it's now seven or eight years.Tara: A long time.Patty: And here we are so welcome to Her Legacy Podcast. It's such a pleasure.Tara: I mean I'm clearly so excited to be on here because you know how obsessed I am with you Patty.Patty: You're so awesome. Thank you for always being so encouraging and I'm just so grateful. Like when I first quit my job and I was working as a freelancer and starting this whole journey of the boss free at the time you were one of the first people who hired me you are thinking about your brand developing this new brand called Tone and Tease.So we'll go into that but I just want to say how much you've evolved how much we both grown and initial so awesome to see that. I love that we keep in touch intermittently and you tell me about what's going on with you. I'm excited to hear about what's new for this year for you. But first let's get braggy. I want to know what do you believe your super power is.Tara: Oh I love that we just got right into it and I feel my superpower is truly assisting women to tap into their alter ego. That other side of them that everyone has that we forget about that can kind of change their thoughts change their conversations change the way they shop and the world changed the way they walk from their cars to this door.I really have a way of setting the stage for that for them and helping them tap into that because as women we wear so many hats right. Their moms' daughters' sister's friends so make careers multitasker galore.And we sometimes forget to put ourselves first. So I kind of allow women to get a little selfish and just remind them that like that person that alter ego is in there and like my alter egos EVA so I got to bring her out so I help other women do that.Patty: And how did you come to that point where you recognized the importance of this alter ego.Tara: It was through practice to actually doing these classes evolving the brand sharing it with more women. And it works. You know I've been in business for over 20 years and I'm like oh I'll just you know this is just another fitness dance class like super cool.But I saw women just change within minutes like I would invite them to take their hair down. I would invite them to wear you know comfortable clothes to class or maybe more fun a little lipstick on and just like watching that can't be obsessed with themselves in the mirror.Like some people would come into class with their arms crossed and just kind of like that and then really watching them take the guard down and really get into their body and into the movement. So I was like Wow.So that woman was one way when she came in and just a few minutes later this is even before I put the music on it's just talking to them and you know like moving a little bit unlike we can tap into that even when we're not here in class we can do that you know when we're home or when we need to make a phone call so yeah over time.Patty: So fantastic and I know that you started out in fitness like you said and you just kind of transition into I think a more meaningful way of being fit is incorporating the alter ego persona incorporating way to give women permission to just own that space for themselves or almost like reawaken it. Right. Because I feel like we all have it and we feel that.Tara: I forget. Like I forget that still funny because sometimes like when I'm in my work and I'm doing so many new things this year I'm like All right. What I tell people in my class right now if I'm telling other people so I hope like tap into that other person like let's do it right now so it's even just quick movement just moving your body like changing rooms you know taking your hair down putting something different on to wear it's so many different things and it's so many different things for different people depending on where they're at.Patty: Yeah for sure. It's almost like I hear you're saying like changing your environment right. Changing your environment changing the way you're moving your body changing the way your hair is right. Like I always have a top on going when I working.But then it's like oh let me fix my hair. Let me do my hair. Let me play all my beauty. And it sounds a bit weird saying that because I know I'm uncomfortable with it but it is, it so important. Once you awaken that it's almost you forget why you ever did it. How's that going so to speak.Tara: Oh my God, It's so true and anyone who is working in the online space where they work their business from home. So like I do all the time and I'm like I love working outside of the home. So like a Starbucks. I love working at hotels where there's other people in energy so like a couple of times lately I've gotten ready and I take my computer out gone to the coffee shop it just feels so good when you're like really feeling like a boss babe.I like a coffee shop or like the hotel I had a glass of wine at happy hour and like if you're out and I just the energy and the was so shifted and I got so much work done in two hours and it was like oh my gosh it was awesome.Patty: I do love that I do love doing that at a hotel where you're sitting at the bar you're having like a little nibble and a glass of wine and you're like you know what I'm owning this moment not only mark up my business but I'd love cool as out.All right. So tell me I know that your whole journey of being a fitness and then developing this amazing YouTube following which you were in the YouTube game way long ago.Tara: Yeah.Patty: And so that was kind of your first entree into that world and you didn't even really know that you were getting hints about charges about that like I did from offline to online and this was. A while back.Tara: So I actually have chills when you brought that out because you're right I had no idea what I was doing with my dance business and being on YouTube or with network marketing. Literally no clue. I just did it. It's funny it isn't.You can probably attest to this back then I wasn't worried I wasn't feeling judged or comparing or anything I was just doing. So when it came to YouTube. So I had gotten Zumba certified and I remember these awesome girls on YouTube doing this choreography and I said to my friend she showed me I'm like well what are they doing. They're like she's just sharing her like the dances that she made up and like how cool is that.Like oh I want to do that so some time went by my friends had a video camera and this is before you were like recording on your iPhone. It's so funny to say back then. Oh my gosh. So he would just record me in class and thenI would record after class and say hey guys it's Tara from get your feet on me and I would just consistently do it and I would talk before my videos and then all of a sudden people were just messaging me and I got invited to come to places that connect to people literally from all over the world.So that happens and yeah they definitely have moved away from it but I still am a part of that in some way shape or form because it's kind of like where I grew up.Patty: And you've had this amazing journey of moving from struggling to fill classes once upon a time and you were just you know. Going out there handing out flyers filling up your classes and getting paid like 20 dollars an hour.Tara: My first goal is 17 an hour. And then when I left the corporate. Yeah I would charge four dollars a class like because I was so nervous to charge more for my punch cards were for 40 for 10 and then I would charge five per class. Yeah.Patty: Wow. And then you get introduced to network marketing and you had an amazing trajectory. Network marketing really successful. The one thing about you is that you're always really bullish on taking action taking action being persistent.And that formula has always work really well until you were developing your own brand with Tone and Tease. So Tone and Tease became a new journey for you. Otherwise your book you were doing Zumba and you wanted to add your own flair. So you developed a brand called Tone and Tease.You wanted to move it might have a bit of it where you thought that you would bring this amazing success into other areas of your life.Tara: So if you're saying I had such success in network marketing and it was just like it happened. And I could say between that and my YouTube following it happened almost effortlessly and I say that because I was in such low of no comparison not looking what anyone else was doing I was really looking at what other people were doing as inspiration.I'm like wow they're doing that. I totally feel like I could and I come from a family of workers. I started working when I was 11. Last time I had other bosses I had seven W2 forms. So it was always a worker. So. When Tone and Tease started happening I'm like.Why don't I start certifying instructor because instructors are after I would teach a class or like how can I teach this? Where can I find this? So coming from the fitness world it just made sense to certify other instructors. So the first. And that's where we really started working together and creating the Website. But I'm. The first round of instructors. It was amazing. It went so well because I guess at that time people just really wanted that until it became a lot of work.And I remember that one thing that we did. I'll never forget this Patty where I was asking feedback from people remember I don't remember when I called that I maybe you can clarify for everybody but like when you ask people for feedback you're just assuming your friends and people that care about your assuming they're going to just give feedback. And I got a few feedback that like hit me hard of how people perceived me.And it literally knocked me down. I was as I call you hysterical which are not uncommon for somebody. But I got really in my head I started comparing myself my Website my brand the way I was doing things to everyone because I had such effortless access. On the one side at that point I just assumed that 20's would be.Effortless too I just thought it would float like the rest. I was building with clenched fists gritted teeth. Every Monday when I would meet with my online team for the Web site I would actually have anxiety in this that I was living in California was horrible. I actually forgot why I even started the Tone and Tease brand at that point because I was so looking at everyone else and I wanted it to succeed so badly. I don't even know what that meant because.I felt like at that time I didn't know what it meant. Just like really succeed. Like I was looking for monetary things I wanted numbers. I wanted more people.Patty: Right.Tara: I wanted more acknowledgements. I cared so much that people would see me still rising you know.Patty: Yeah. Well if I can interject I think that's really your frame of reference was all of the success that you had a network marketing right. And then like you were saying well clearly a translatable into this. Right. Like I always skyrocket my business.I'm a friggin boss in this area like that shows me the numbers of people the majority my team the success that I'm having. And it was like that moment I think that it's so funny that that feedback it rocked you in such a way and really the context was.Find out more about how you're showing up like your brand personality what people know you for it was really coming from a place of like just finding your superpowers finding the reasons that people follow you. And it was just like two little pieces of feedback that I probably would pull it out. I say every day and like I would show it to be like oh my god what was I freaking out about. Like it does anything but the meaning we give it right.Tara: Yeah so truePatty: and it's like. That was OK that's about your journey that was where you work with time and the fact that it just knock you on your ass when you were just like oh my God now what do I do. So you were kind of trudging right. It was like like. Kind of treading water in the middle of the ocean and seeing that the Promised Land is in front of you and you're just not able to move. And that's so unlike you.Tara: Yeah.Patty: Because you're like such a mover and shaker so what was going on at that time. How long were you in that space?Tara: Yeah. And a year and a half. It's funny because I can see it. I can see it like oh my gosh California was such a whirlwind for those listening I lived in New Jersey my entire life because I was traveling so much for these dance classes and it was amazing.I was going to California law. And this one time I was in California when it was a snow storm in Jersey and I couldn't come home right away. So I'm sitting there outside Starbucks it's 80 degrees in January I'm like why don't I live here. Had nothing holding me back no kids no significant other. I did have my studio I was renting but something was pulling me for more.So I picked up I moves and I had so many friends but they were so spread out and it took me a while to create the community that I built back home and I miss that. So if you live in California or whether you know anything about it or not like it has a lot of traffic and it takes some time to form a community anyway. But where I was living it was really challenging for me. Plus I was traveling a lot. So I wasn't connecting with people. I was just working out and working and traveling. Right. So I was really if this didn't work.Like whom would I be? That's the space that I was in. So again the first few certifications are amazing. And then I had to figure out this membership site. A lot of things that I'm that were new to me and I'm comfortable I worked with the wrong people. I spent too much money. I was all in my ego. I worked from such ego at that time that it came to a point and this was as I was ready to move back home to New Jersey because my father's house and. I said I can't do this anymore. I'm like I can't. Even remember what I'm doing or why I'm doing it like what is Tone and Tease anyway like I'm just going to feel this way all the time.So I literally when I moved home was just really really like not good place decided to put on hold. And like literally everything I was doing it wasn't teaching classes it wasn't really I was having my network marketing business maintained. And I hired a coach who really taught me what being successful is and it has absolutely nothing to do with numbers or what I look like or what's in my bank account or the boyfriend or friends. It has everything to do with me.My God it took me so long and I dedicated such a long time probably a good year. Patty to figure that out and when I started coming out of it just like I guess you know maybe six months ago or 2 year I was like. I get it and ready like I just felt like I hadn't wanted to do anything for a year and then I went to this event and I saw the women on the stage and I'm like. I feel really good. I'm playing small. Like I'm ready. So.Patty: So you give yourself permission to do it in your own time. And so you feel like that was the death of your ego or do you feel like.Tara: Yes.Patty: How do you go about it?Tara: I actually I think we all have egos. My ego will still come up and I'm like are like you know settle down. You know I just I feel like what I'm doing now is more in alignment for the purpose the message and what it's doing for other people.Well what I did before was what it was doing for me like what could this brand do for me and how will people feel about me when I create this brand. Now I'm in a place of like what it's doing for other people. It's just so different. Everything about it is different..Patty: Let's continue with the show so what are you really excited about right now that you're working on.Tara: So I'm really excited. I'm rebranding Tone and Tease. It's not just. I actually just put like a hold on the instructor certifications just because it wasn't in alignment with what I wanted to do when I was like how cool that I can make that decision. So I'm still doing master classes.I have something called the Tone and Tease experience where I traveled to other events I speak set the space for women to share about alter ego and show them how to connect mind and body movement through this program. And I created my own live event here in New Jersey something that I wanted to do. I feel like I talked about these five years ago.Patty: A Leeds. Yeah.Tara: And she's like not ready. And if I was actually at Angie Leeds pace to be brave in October and some of the speakers on the stage I had spoken to. Atlas project with Laurie I'm sitting there and I'm like a part of me wanted to be on stage not ego but because I was like I know I can offer so much to this audience and I love being a student.And I'm like that's it. I'm like I'm ready to level up like it's been too long. It's been like a year and a half I haven't done much of anything I've kind of played small. I'm doing enough but not nearly enough of what I knew that that I could do.So. Then. I decided to pick a date for my live event then I pick a day and like it's going to happen and like to admit that it's really two weeks from today.Patty: Yeah. Oh my gosh.Tara: Yeah. And it's all like in alignment with Tone and Tease is because it's called your life unleashed. So this event has new movement to it. So I'm going on use they're just like pieces of it. So yeah everything's just just feels good.Patty: And how do you feel about where you would have been say when you were shown your head and you were all ego. A I don't think that would have happened.How are you approaching the event this time? Like what are you impressed with yourself and how you're managing that so that people hearing this be like oh I'm scared of having a bad. I've been thinking about it. I'm not sure I could do that. So where's your headspace right now. Specific to the event what it's going to look like.Tara: It's so funny. It depends on like the day and hour you ask me. But however you could honestly be so proud of me because I mean for those of you who don't know me I'm definitely a reactor. That's how I've been in the past. I react I like I cry I get nervous. You know I get like anxiety.And like I said I really took a good year to take the tools I had learned over the years of so many coaches and events and you name it. So really tap into why I am like that. So now I'm taking it something comes up I take more breaths. I don't react. Other stuff has come up for me in terms of like family things health things and I'm totally just. You know one of my coaches said don't let your high speed you higher your lows be too low.So in the midst of all this planning while other stuff is going on I'm just staying steady to the course. I have a lot of support and friends. And then I was thinking like if I'm going to create this game that I've wanted to like births for years. How amazing how creative we can be in this day and age. So why would I spend even the next two weeks being so nervous that I want to throw up if I'm not going to have fun with this. Like why would I do it?So I'm really tapping into that because I don't want this to go by. The event happened and me not being present and being like I could have been so present with that amount like why couldn't I have more fun with that. Sure maybe I might say like her. I don't believe that I'm the most polished speaker. There's a lot for me to learn.There's a lot of things I would have done different but I'm just so proud that I took my idea and put it into action and I feel like it's something that I've always done. And now I'm ready to show other people like literally with every single thing I've done in my life I'm like and you know me enough if I can do it I feel like anyone can but truly feel that way.Patty: No.But its such humility now. I mean you're just doing it because as you know if the idea comes to you it's coming through you. Right. And we know that putting the event it's about just doing it because that was the calling and letting go of what we think the outcome is supposed to be and instead just like doing it and know that you'd be surprised and this is what I personally experience is like I always used to have this notion of what I think things are supposed to look quite and then when I just let go of that and then just do it. I mean surprises happen.Connections happen things that move you into a new direction. It's just the coolest thing when you get out of your head and get out of this recession that we have what we think is what's to look like it's so ridiculous and actually really exhausting.Tara: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I definitely have exhausted myself. I wasted a lot of time but I don't even look at anything as I'm wasted. I have learned so much and I know how many people I can help from when I've been through you know. So yeah it's just its really powerful and I'm so grateful for all the experiences even though like sometimes I'm like you know you wish you could go back and do things differently or react differently. But it's you know if you have the willingness to learn and do the work the work actually really comes up and it helps in the long run.Patty: Yeah For sure. So tell me what the best part of entrepreneurship is for you.Tara: I love being creative I realized how creative I am. Like you know it's so funny. I have been making up dances and showing my sisters and I was like a little girl when I was a cheerleader I used to make all the things up like I just always had a creative mind. But I feel like being so creative is so exciting for me I was supposed to be a health and design teacher.I clearly love teaching and I really worked so hard to get a teaching job for two years and couldn't find one. And I remember my sister saying she was like I almost don't want you to get a 9 to 5 job because it will stifle your creativity. I didn't know what she meant at that point.You know I just like I always wanted to work. So, Learning about myself the creativeness the freedom to like as I am such a worker and so like this is not an easy task to do this kind of business like you're your own boss but like I'm so dialed into what I'm doing and likes to willing to learn and expand and grow and it's such a fun free amazing feeling.Patty: That's exciting I'm so proud of you. OK what some best represents your life?Tara: Let's go by Calvin Harris and Neyo.Patty: More like its buddy. All right. Workers will develop or growth habit do you have. But really pissing of for you.Tara: So. You know I want to say meditation but like it depends on the day how good I am breathing, breath work has been such. And this is the thing guys. It doesn't have to look the same for everyone. Like I truly feel like when I teach that's my moving meditation.I don't think of anybody else and I'm so present but in the moment I'm learning how to breathe. Taking a nice long deep breath like I used a fire breath you know whatever that is it's my favorite.Patty: I'm still loving right about your song. Okay. What is your definition of success?Tara: Oh my gosh. How do you feel about yourself? Happiness. Like you know how you can decontextualize a moment and make it find the best out of it.Patty: I love that it's so true. And after all of said and done Tara Romano what do you want your legacy to be.Tara: That you truly can be you or have anything that you want. If you're willing to put the work into it.Patty: That is amazing. I agree. I love it. And how do people get in touch with you. Learn more about your event. Connect with you with what you're doing in Tone and Tease all of that.Tara: I'm all over the place. tararomano.com toneandtease.com. I'm always active on Facebook and Instagram with Tara Romano and Tone and Tease. You want to check out some old fitness Zumba videos you can go on my YouTube. But I actually want to say everyone who's listening. This woman Patty Domínguez is one of the most epic humans.I feel like she's Burt's me and this online space and I remember always telling her I was like always surprised that she would ever still work with me and I'm like I'll always find something for you to do in terms of like hiring you and you could never not work with me. I feel like I a hundred percent would not be where I am today if it wasn't for you.Patty: I adore you because I love this evolution. I know. I still think that you definitely have to write a book. I definitely think you have a book in.Tara: You can definitely help me with that too..Patty: You'll have that calling when you have to because you're story is so amazing having so much introspection and personal development work that you've done. Certainly everything that you do to incorporate in your Tone and Tease and there's a lot there there's lot you can do by yourself and so it's always my pleasure I always love you.Tara: I love you.Patty: I love you back. Tara Romano Thank you so much. All the link to get a hold of her. Going to be in the show notes please connect with her she really is the real deal. And she's just an exceptional human being. Tara thanks you so much for being on her legacy podcast.Tara: Thanks Patty. Can't wait to see you again. Bye guys.Links to get hold of Tara Romano;tara romano (taraomano11@gmail.com),Website: tararomano.com,yourlifeunleashedevent.com,Social Media Handles: Facebook and instagram and youtube,https://www.yourlifeunleashedevent.com/squeeze.

Find your voice - Episode 15 - "My Way" - Raj Sallan #15Tagline: "The only person that should be proud of you, is yourself"Raj Sallan was the Fresh Prince, before he got shipped off to Bel-Air. His parents swiftly realised he was going to end up going down the wrong path if he stayed in Germany, he was sent to Birmingham, UK where he was forced to learn another language, way of life and develop his own mindset. Having had to learn his 3rd language, Raj utilised martial arts, kick-boxing and boxing to channel his mind and found a passion that would see him travelling the world and proving all his doubters wrong.Raj explains that your mindset starts from the moment you wake up. He strengthened his perspective and mindset to help him handle not living with his parents for the majority of his childhood, learning English and fighting professionally in combat sports. Realising that nothing is impossible Raj has overcome his own levels of depression, loneliness and now spends his hours helping world-class fighters, girls and boys of all ages in becoming fit and finding their own confidence.A genuinely loving guy, whose energy is infectious. He explains his daily rituals that have helped him earn a favourable reputation in the fight game, but also as a genuinely humble human being.A story of adversity, with no excuses and an individual who found his voice and continues to write his own story.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rajesh.sallan (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/only1rajeshsallan/Have an awesome day #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so as you sit here nowlistening to this podcast I just want toask you a quick question now obviouslyit's rhetoricalbecause I can't hear your answer but howmany times in the last week have youthought about something negative haveyou complained when it really wasn'tthat badhave you mould about how little progressyou've made rather than actually commendyourself for how far you've came myguess is probably more than you wish toadmit and that's absolutely fine listenwe've all been there but what I findremarkable about this episode thatyou're gonna hear is I guarantee 100% ifyou listen to this all the way throughyour perception and your mindset willbenefit you will change it you willstart to feel I'll say silly for morningabout the silly things that we oftenmoan about because this individual hasnot only had to learn English as histhird languagehe was uplifted as a ten-year-old fromhis parents to live in a foreign countrywhere everything was alien to him andthe only thing he really knew how tocontrol was his mind and his hands andhis feet and with that he tells awonderful story so without further adoI'm gonna get this interview on the wayso firstly I just wanna walk on right tothe show and thank you for taking timeout of your day to come and have thisinterview myself how you doing today I'mfine right it's just doing well goodgood the UK where they're glad to hearit so I think it's important for thelisteners to understand a little bityourself now I've heard about you mywife's told me about you you know wantedyou on Instagram for some time now so ifyou could kind of give the listenersbasically a history of how you've cameabout to where you are todaywell basically am I was born in Germany1988 in Frankfurt and grew up in a roughestate area basically it was there wasno Indians back then it was just if youname it just like Turks albaniandifferent all different cultures but noIndians no Asians my family was the kindof the first Indian community aroundthere my uncle and everyone and growingone went school there stayed there -lost ten the time there was no peopleprobably asking what are you doing hereyeah yeah it's just growing up in thisstate area it was a rough and tough youknow being through fucking some hardtime and the other day and seeing myparents there being there and as anIndian people you know how did Germanthey say it's not it's not a racistcountry but they won't put everyone inone the cultural people would want inone area so where this day so this istheir area it was a being a bad kid Iwas like a as poor really but the otheryeah okay so I'm getting into naughtystuff at a young age theftnot going school just no he just beingwrong basically doing the wrong thingsthat I do you know upsetting my parentsthey wasn't happy they wanted a betterlife for me so come to a stage wherethey decided to send me here because mymom's side everyone's here my uncle's mycousins so they had a decision to makewhich probably was the biggest decisionin their life so they decided to send mehere to have a better life and todaythat's where I stand is here and I'mbeing threw me through quite a bit youknow from being alone softwaredepression this is probably most of thefamily members they don't even knowthemselves so when they hear this theyprobably think we didn't know this butI've never come up out of it really I'venever told anyone about it because Ilike to keep things sometimes myself and[Music]I've always always had that little thingwhere you know when I was young come onmy own and basically crying by myselfand I was a kid when I come here cuz Imissed my parents because the hardestthing in my life was probably was goingto that Airport and looking back and seemy mom and I'd cry maybe one else that'sa hard thing yeah it's a mental thingand that's a ten year old I don't knowwhere I'm going I don't know what'shappening yeah what's going so you wereten when you came over I was 10 yearsold and was jamming your first languagebut job dream dance from Indiana okaysome may not be fast champion easilyshould I didn't know I didn't have aclear barrage you know nothing Englishfrom the age of 10 10 yes fantastic andthen it was just hard time it's justhard that moment was very hard ten yearsold you wouldn't know you took back andwhy do you crying like we think he mighthave great for holiday of his back ofcourse I know what they said that youknow going then the plan was to give ita go see how it goes that's what my owncustom a moment which was good and thenit was hard that day I remember sittingon the plane at ten years old amount andit's going to another country to start anew life and things started and use thegood is better for me basically becausethe way I grew up in Germany there wasonly one way in a prison gangs or deadawesome other than something I didn'twant to disappoint my parents becauseone thing in my life that could never dois disappoint them they mean the worldto me and yeah another indeed appear nowin school world screedcome in years six or years five yearsalmost ten years old I didn't know noEnglish no English at all basically Idid not think I was that good fresh offthe boat but yeah and had to go throughlot of stuff as a kid because knowingnot know Englishmaking friends was hard but it was justvery difficult to be fair and the way Ijust gone through it I cried as a kid Iremember going home walking from schoolI had no friends and this is when Ifirst come over andthat long road in hands of going homeand crying and just being upset missingmy parents 10 year old kid would courseYong Yong you don't know you know youdon't know how you feel and it's justvery different unexplainable to peoplethat unless they've been throughthemselves they know I feels and it washard there's hard times and then slowlyslowly things started changing for meyou know I just started getting thinkingin my head don't one thing I always saidto myself in life is that it's all aboutyou know your brief you got two arms twolegsyou're not worse than others knowthere's people out there in lifestylegoing through lot worse than yourself soI always that's one thing one of themsecond is that the only place that'sgonna believe and use yourself you can'tbelieve in yourselfand having faith in yourself then youknow I strongly believe that you knowpeople believe in like North ofAttraction the universe I thinkpersonally you are your universe you arewhat you think in it you become what youthink so absolutely things change for meyou know if I didn't have if I didn'twant to become like my parents oreverything I took a lot of criticism inlife as well like you can't do this myparents up to because they sent me yeahas if our Asian families are they'll putyou they'll put a lot of people downthey like to say oh he ain't gonna donothing course of course being in amaking oh why you sent him there for myparents after he all that then it waslike a it was me against the people asone to prove them wrong that you knowwhat I'm fuckin of made it yeah you knowI am Who I am I'm a good personI've not turned that wrong a lot ofpeople expected me to come here and takeadvantage oh yeah and film become adruggie junkie do whatever can you knowmake most of it because my parents inhere but um you know you know plenty offriends we just forget just before thisinterview as well I've been mutualfriends we've got as well yeahdefinitely is so I think that'sinteresting what you've touched from ityou said a couple of things that I'vejust made notes of so one is you becomewhat you think and believe in yourselfthis is something that I know is a verydate hero you have to say affirmationsand implant that in my head now and Ithink indirectly because you've been putin that situation you have to developthat yourself andgiving you some strengths although youmight not have seen it as a strengththen it's brought you into the personthat you are now which I think it'sfantastic because and a lot of peoplelistening to this probably had a lotmore shout class yeah whereas you wereby yourself and you thinking buddy gotthese two hands and legsyeah and just speaking on those twokinds of legs now yeah that you knew youhad you've done incredible things withthose yeah which I just wanted to tellthe audience as well it all started witha fire school basically okaywhen I was in Germany I was a bit of atempered kid you know it's but I stillgave too loud so when I come here I wasit - I got into a few fights and this ismy first the first few month for youalreadyand my uncle goes to meet my mom'sbrother he goes you know you gotsuspended from school you just come overhere in basically Punjabi because Icouldn't speak English course and sofrom there he started and there he goeswell I'm gonna send you to kickboxinggym and I go ah they don't give me acoke it's nothing they asked or justyeah by then I made friendsI put friends by them you know peoplethat were around me and school friendsand I took one friend with me and saidlet's give me a coke see what's aboutyeah and who wants me to go okay andwalked into the gym and then from therenever looked back cuz just suddenly Ifound a talent I wasn't good mmm yes soit wasn't actually beating people up butit's something I had in me and I usedthat a lot if it wasn't for that I thinkthat sports and combat sport fightingand all that helped me in a way my usingmy hands and feet my mentally if it mademe better and it was more energy changedeverything like if I was upset at homeor if I was feeling downoh go to gym no I'll use that a lot andthen that just made me who I amfrom there he just kick-started amateurfights I went to turn pro in Thai boxingI had laws of numerous fight all overthe place over India to fight at a proMMA fight for winning age and over 20pro kickboxing fightsit's incredible a mature buck cells aswell as boxing for Saint Francis inBirminghamfantastic yes or other good chance I waseven told to stick to boxing and one wayis that gonna be pro in that but I justlove kicking okay yeah so that's whereyou all started my hands or feet andthey kicked off then I think that'swhere I I saw your Instagram stuff Nickinitially because I know my wife Tommylove about you because you went to thesame school and she said it's reallyinspiring you've come from completelydifferent country and you found your wayin life and I remember going to be spokeabout this just before the podcast goingto ask them University yeah which iswhat ten miles from my house can getthere in 15 minutes yeah and I washomesickso Monday to Thursday by the timeThursday comes I couldn't wait to gethome on a Friday so I can only imaginewhat it's like for a ten-year-old kid tokind of have to do that but I don't nowwe've spoken obviously before this yougo home a lot now and you visit inGermany quite yeah I spend much timewith my family I can I personally thinkthat nowadays degeneration now theyforget their parents and they forgetabout the old alumni like I spend a lotof time my parents because thedifference with me is that I've notactually I've lost a lot of time withthe growing of pianos and not being withthem so be going back and then everytime so anytime that means the world tome now first thing you couldn't you knowa man if you don't spend time I agreeand I'm sure they're very proud of howfar you've come now they are yeah theyare very very proud but the mostimportant thing is my dad always tellsme is the only place that should beproud this are you proud you have peoplelike that that's what matterspersonally I'm proud of myself that's apretty messy that's the best thing toyou now look that message as well andthat's something that I try and getthrough this podcast as well is thatyeah the way we look at ourselves in ourself-worth and stuff like it's the mostimportant thing yet cuz it's nicegetting plaudits from the person nextdoor or somebody across the road butuntil you start looking yourself andbelieving in yourself I'll do somethinglike this is something I don't are manyByrne I wake up in the morning and speakto myself let me read it and there's areason why I do it because then I wentto see someone about three years agomm-hmmand he helped me the way to think andwhy how to change negativity intopositively I don't you feel great aboutyourself so he said do something liketalk to yourself yeah but he actuallyworks so I realized that your mindsetstarts from the time you wake up youknow when you say your feet touch thefloor yeah that is when your mind startsworking and whatever you think whatthought you wake up with so if you wakeup negative your day is going to benegative if you wake up positive you'repositive so walk to the mirror and I gotthis little white top where I just say Iam positive I am rich I am blessed I ammy own God I am this and that so and Italk to myself yeah and then I said toher I'm gonna have a great day todaydo that and it helps me yeah that'ssomething that really helps me I knowsome people might thinking wow that'sthat but that is something like I canreally really help someone it's a mentalthing and this is like a you mentallygetting stronger and your mind youyou're basically transforming your mindset you straight positive team andyou're looking forward to the day thenit can rain out there because no evenwhen I'm finished knowing and it's shitwhether I'll say it's a toy don't stopme doing the finger prize of course it'sthe mindset how people yeah and I know alot of people that wake up in themorning say example one day I hatemondays absolute that's the firstnegative word that you say to yourself Ihate why do you hate go and do what youhad to do come home make a plan yeahthink coffee I love that so it's one ofthem things I think as you were saying Ijust opened up my diary so I have everymorning five thoughts and it's similarto yourself I am powerful I understandmy own bothyI am perfect every single morning bestthing and it's only something I've beendoing recently as well but it's soimportant like what we feed am I here soyou're an athlete you know what it'simportant to feed your body physicallystrong but if this is weak that knowseverything there's no point of it's notpoint being you know I mean the bestbody but if you're my name right it'sthe same with the fight game you can bevery good in the gym you can beyou can be whatever but if your mindsetswrong and you my name in the fightmm-hmmyou must say you lost the fight yeahbecause it's not there lost it before itstarted yeah but a lot of people don'trealize that so my mind is a powerfulthing I don't think people realize it Ithink you're right there I think it'sbecoming a bit more and this is probablybecause I look into that fear you've gota lot of mindset coach and a lot ofpeople talking about it but when I hearit from someone like yourself who's putit into practice in an arena and done iton an international stage I find it alot more authentic and real so I'm gladyou said that and it was actually theone of the next questions I was gonnaask you was about your routine and so Ilove athletes and if I could if I couldhave a separate podcast in this they'vebeen just interviewing athletes becauseI think it takes a certain type ofperson to get to the top to stay at thetop to have that mindset because itisn't like you said it ain't all aboutyour physical attributes you'll be thehardest hit but if you aim right hereyeahand somebody's got more clued on therethey're gonna have perform you throw itmain rhythm as an example indefinitelyso what I want to ask you is this was mynext question what do you do until thetime you go to sleep so obviously youall can have you spoken to yourself inthe mirror now yeah what are their kindof rituals or habits do you do in theday often saying I can go back to when Iwas fighting yeah yeah what I used to dowas we stay twice a day or three timespushing it depending coming to a fightwaking up in a pony go for a jog I'mjust going back when I was at school myuncle used to wet this secondary schooland I was competing then amateur leveland I was doing then I'd turn pro and Imean my uncle waking you used to comefrom a nightshift 4:00 in the morningbefore I go school is to make me go fora jog go for a run so the technologiesyou hear I was 14 to 16 this was and thededication was built in me already youknow having that warrior mentality andthat listen you gotta train hardmaintaining one way to so what we usedto do is train three times a day say maxand diet so when you wake up in themorning you run check your weight comehome eat you gotta watch my eat as wellyou have a nutritionist watching whatyou eat if you don't have a nutritionyou some people do it themselves whichis good as well so my daily routine isBella and especiallyall days was going school all day watchye at school wow this is the time whenno one hardly knew realized I was inyear eight nine I was just my name wasjust coming out and not people knew thehouse no one knew that I was doing itonly later on people found that comingfrom school finish school come home grabmy bagdon't do no homework come on felt liketraining back there go straight to thegym to our session and then back homeeat food go bed then after that when Ileft school it was the only thing thatchanged was there was no school time sothat's when three times a day trainingstarted just running in the morningtraining from different things likestrength speed and sparring session padwork different sessions and needs to bethree times a day eating right and hedays used to just go basically and thenI'm coming home in the evening afternoonchilling with the family and then in theevening if you feel good you go formother jog and this is when it comes toan eight week camp fight camp your aimis to get fit get mentally strong andget your weight down as well dependingon what weight division you find thatand then they just carried on like thatI've done that for a good 15 years to befair herI've been training since I was 10 stilldo it now but I'm fond of fighting fitand fighting professionally I stopped at25 my last fight was 24 when I was inIndia a fourth road and times change butI still keep the same similar routine Istill go for a jog here in l a-- wake-upcall for one you know in the morning andI love going running in the morning at 4or 5 I love that I love that it's thefresh a door full run go work andespecially with my job now you know wedo shift work so I work everythingaround it and the only thing that keepsme going is my mind basically your bodycan get old as much as they want but ifyour mind is strong can control yourmind and yeah and the funny thing isit's your mind that tells you're tiredeven before your body is as well yeahand that's something we definitely kindof battle with yeah I looked at and Ijust sort of touch on that so you'vedone this for like 15 years I had a veryvery short period and this is kind oflike something that I celebrate where Itrain like an athlete as a knight Igot myself under an Olympic coach nearboxing what I was doing with thosecopying national champions so when theywere training free time today I wasdoing the same yeah because I knew I gotinto the game late and I really wantedto go on a floors so I was training andI was copying them I was eating theright stuff and I couldn't understandwhat you're saying there I'm not sure ifthe listeners will get this but there isa point where your body and your mindare in sync that you do stuff that youthink shit how we're doing this becauseyou're training so would you do so muchand the reason I say that is because nowI'll go to the gym and people normallyis not comparison trained or whateverbut the intensity that I had for thosetwo years is 10 times more than now whatI can't do is bring that intensity backhere so now when I go to the gym the momI'm tired up I don't know I just kind ofthink okay let's got that Communistsabuse away and I wish I could transformthose two years of a true athletesmindset into now are you able to stilldo that now so you know how you wouldtrain that 25 can you bring that alittle bit back or is it a matter ofwhen you're not competing it's difficultto do I know exactly it doesn't makesense yeah I don't make sense to doright there especially the copying partmmm that's exactly why I used to dobecause watching people like the runningI got from sue my uncle told me run inthe mornings and everyone that fight hermentality and I just watch people likeTyson and knowing the jog in the morningand he watched these videos okay andthat's the copying part like justthought you said yourself you copy itand do it but that's the only way tothese people are there it's by of courseyou learn from them so that's why itlike Mayweather says you know what myopponent sleep 2 a.m. in the morning I'mgoing for it says it's a very good copyit's not a bad thing it's doingsomething that they're doing and then itworks on you but going to transformingit if I wanted to do that now andeverything I could like I said it's asit my head I knew boys the older youget or do you believe as welllaziness kicks in you know andresponsibilities change appear you knowyou have a lot more other things to doyou know work people get you knowrelationships and everything justchanges but in your head you got a youhave like a notebook and you writeeverything downtoday I'm gonna do this tomorrow I'm dothis you know you can write a routinedown and it still can be done it's don'tcoming there's nothing impossible inlibrary people told me I could neverspeak EnglishI've never got to speak English or aschool I get picked on here a day not asin you know just not picked on but justlaughing you know he can't speak Englishoh my cousin's would say oh and I thinkyou know what I realize now nothing isimpossible even when I was going throughthe depression point no I'm sad I justupset cryI never should tell my family no oneused to know I should be on my own icelike be a man just cry and miss myparents but then while Walter went alongand I got older I realized that you knowwhat nothing's impossible I could doanything or what you know whatum these people were standing out therewhat am i crying about what is wrongwith meyou know I mean I can do this dusty andtoday I'm here nothing today right nowI'm probably in the most longest mindsetI just believe in myself that I'm alivethey feel the good energy yeah and thisgood energy but Zampa when you passpositive energy got me excited herebefore we started this you can see howhappy I'll wait that's the best thing todo is the vibrations between two peopleand it's a straightaway you send it tothem and you want to spend time withpeople like thatthat's it girl one thing I have to do isthe certain people didn't say family orfriends who all they do is negativenegative negative and when it's yourfamily and friends you can't always cutthem out yeah so after do is limit myconversations with them or if I'm inthere if I'm in their proximity isliterally like how you doing and then Iwalk away because I don't want that youknow what all of these kind ofrelationships and this is where I'mcomplaining nowadays in life and on thegrand scheme of things and people haveinterviewed on this and includingyourself their problems that you knowthe trivial the minor compared to whatyou guys have been through nobody's beenlifted from their parents do you have tolearn a third language to that you don'tbe fired in and they're notunderstanding what people are sayingabout them to then having to developtheir own - such a young age where I'mhere now as a 30 year old still tryingto develop myand I'm seeing people who I'm actuallyworking with now who you are older thanme still trying to develop their Mon soI think it's you should be very proudfor this yeah I think it's commendablethat you've been able to do that yeahespecially it's true you don't think Iagree with that exam it's that fuckingthat did you do so you can't give a fuckabout anything fuck what people thinkfuck what anyone thinks really and dowhat you make sure you have people yeahif you work on yourself you're nevergonna get out of that blockage it's acircle around you like we've seen it alot with lot of people not mind coachespeople saying it like they put and diein the middle then they put circlearound it that is you and you can't getat that comfort zone you're just in thatmiddle you have to break through andthat's what he's like I had a friendmake for me two weeks ago saying I wannacopand I said to him you found me to tellme you walk onwell how about you think to yourselfthat I am gonna get I'm gonna have thatcar or believe that you already in thatcar believe in yourself like I said yeahyeah there's no one else gonna believein you you know I mean you can't askphone someone can you believe inaddition of everyone else that's it yeahcuz I knew this was interview was comingup and I try and learn about the persona little bit I took myself back intothose two years and the key to mysuccess in those two years was adecision I will just make a decision andbelieve it oh there's an analogy whensomebody says I'm trying to quit smokingfor a bit or somebody just says I don'tsmoke anymore they're two differenttypes of people the person who doesn'tsmoke and move will not be tempted andnobody will really ask him wheresomebody's that off stop smoking for abit the most aren't you're gonna getasked in a grave you want one or they'regonna be very very tempted it's kind ofyou've got to make your own identity youdo if that makes sense ain't the worldlike I'm trying change that try to I amNOT little words how you think I'm whatyou say your language you know yeah youto yourself what it's raining today orCongo you know but you say I will go forwhen the rain stops to be rain is notgonna kill you you know it's just it'sthe mind thing to be fair it's it's hardit's hard I know what where people comefrom like for me softly from beingjudged mean creaturesis going through depression at a youngage you know feeling alone andovercoming them things it's just it'snot as easy I want people to know thatthey're not on their own you know I knowpeople it's hard to explain to someonehow you feel but they need to realizethat you're not on your own becausefirst of all these people not worse thanwhat they're going through you knowsecond you're breathing you know he gottwo arms two legsyou put got a roof over your head getfood on the table and end of the worldnever think that and just feel strongabout yourself and even yourselfbut never give up and that's one thing Ithink in the Asian community is Wallynot all there's nothing wrong with youdon't worry you're just crying allyou're just upset it's a debate knowwhat's going through yeah you don't knowwhat's going through the person's heador what's happening and me as a youngkid I remember them little things when Iwas on my own and crying and all sortsit was quite hard and not family membersdon't know this to be fair but all thecomment in a way that it was that fuckyou attitude like you know what I'mgonna I'm gonna prove people wrong youknow I didn't care what people think butI used that as a I'm gonna prove a momthat I'll turn that good and I turned updoing I achieve things that day car so Iused them as a fuel baby that's why Iused the mass and it carried on likethat and my mind just got stronger andstronger hmm and anything even todaylike I mean people who having a bad dayand I turned their mindset it's just metalking deception isn't it yes it's howyou see itand I think you took started this soyou've been doing this since you attendthey pretty much and that's probably whyyou're better at it than most people Ithink the important thing people shouldtake away from this episode is make it ahabit yeah so how you go to the toiletat night how do you go have a showerevery morning it needs to become a habitthe way you speak to yourself from howyou see stuff so another good thing I doother than these five things I dogratitude journal is oh so I used to doevery morning which is fine butsomewhere along like the day after a bitit kind of rubs off so something badhappens even myself I'm guilty ofsometimes looking atwhat I do you know I do have themtonight as well so I'm doing gratitudeas soon as I wake open before I go tosleepit just helping me and my natural vibesand everything it's very hard for me tonot be grateful for what I have like yousaid I've got two hands and a few of myhealthtouchwood at the minute got no diagnosisof any illness isn't nothing I get to goon holiday I know what I get to live thelife are what I'm blessedyeah do you know what I mean I convincedmyself of that because because I amnever give up attitude may seem you knowthat's the best way to be and beinggrateful I've always been grateful I'llbe my dad and like we come from nothingmy parents come from nothing and we haveenough today to keep us happy and that'sall that matterswhich is how well you know half is themost important thing of course and youknow I've always been bought up in a wayto think that stay humble as well and begrateful and that's well yeah and that'sone thing about me I love that andthat's something you preach on yourinstagrams in your facebook as welllove that because always I can relate tothat so on my Twitter I just kind of saystuff that comes in my head it's kind ofme talking to myselfyeah because sometimes if I'm a bad daymy first thing in my head is going backto a prayer yeah and listen to how youtalk so be that person that you sayyou're gonna be here and I wrotesomething the other day which saysgrowing up I didn't have everything Iwanted but I had everything I needed andthat's literally how I grew up and andthat's kind of like one of my timelinesas well because I think my life is thiscompared to so many other people that'swhy people it's hard for them they thinkthey're humble but they're not reallythey don't understand how what it takesto be grateful you have to believe inthat you know what I'm happycoming for my breakfast is a bit hardtimes II was me I know and I've seen youknow looking at my friend he's buyingnew train is no lazy Navi and now I'msitting up and for one but I still don'tgo and get what I want because I knowI've got enough I don't you know that'snot gonna change your liver whathappened it's all still here it's notcause it's a big example my friendsalways like oh why didn't get yourself anew car you know you all you need toknowwhat can I'm humble in a way that my cartakes me a to be I'm happy that's whatthe purpose of a car is that's all ifyou could treat yourself to treatyourself don't forget where you comefrom people forget where they callthat's what happened I agreethey really forget asleep hour for alisten that is I think so I come fromsimilar backgrounds no not as bad as youin terms of not being very humblebecause we had normally going up and Iremember the moment I got my first goodjob he was in London and I was anymoremoney thing on you wanted to deal withand when I say what money I mean to meto other people it's probably a normalsalary so I know all this money and Iremember Bibles designer gear thesejeans and stuff and if you go upstairsto the third bedroom they're all themjeans and all them teacher I just and Ihardly wear because yeah very quickly Irealized that doesn't make me happywhat makes me happy is being able to dothis or help people or give a hunter andthat kind of the best thing you can doyou know helping people is one of thebest things as well even if it's doneit's like the littlest thing like I'llexplain some time was of course tellingthem how if they're saying the day'sbeen bad try and help and be they bebetter not have a joke or just havesomeone just maybe someone small yeah Ithink I thinking in the world butgrowing up humble and down to half isprobably my first thing not taking myheart honestly from your hair is thefirst thing that there is respect beinghumble and down to the best can comeafter that's the best thing I think theworld would be a better place if there'sno greed then like lot of people arethere's not greedthere's a lot of competition Cubacompetition not a lot of people competewith them with others or their mates ortheir family members like I've alwaystold my parents like listen don't worrywhat people say let them talk let thembe they think what they want let themthink what they want they're jealous theHaiti they got a negative problem whichthey need help in but they don'tunderstand that especially in ourcommunity indeed pretty they see theywon't know that they don't stand thiskind of stuff this is like if you canfucking get it what can't you why don'tyou do this why don't you do what theydon't realize the other person might behappy you know they're happy with whatthat for my dad my dad one kind ofperson like you were says to me whatkids are happybe healthy about reform I'll either seeyou always you say that his whole lifeand you're drilled into my headno even though I didn't grow up withthem but but then let them believeremember yeah I remember these thingsand now always when I stay at homethat's why I got that little white booktop of the mirror and I love that lookhoney and I've got one thing that I'mI'm rich yeah and you know how I feeland well feeling about everything I wantyou keep saying that the things that youdon't you don't expect they'll come toyou anyway then you're attracting thator anything of course but yes like Isaid it's not easy for people out therethat's hard but I already know I lovethat you've shared that because that'sliterally how I think yeah so we justbefore we started this episode I toldyou I'm selling this house now yeah andI was like we're gonna get ourselves asmaller apartment and two other peopleit's gonna be like shit you're given abig house for a small little apartmentfor what for me is my happiness mywife's gonna give up WIC we're gonna betogether I don't care that I don't allmy house that doesn't bother meI don't care my family or friends say ohyou don't want to have anymorelisten not many people do all thathouses the lights on the houses for astart but secondly it doesn't bother meI've got not ego in relation to thatwhat I am doing is controlling my ownlife I'm living life on my own terms andmy wife's happy that's the best way andgoing back to banks on that to be fairwe don't own exactly nothingwe're here for a very very short amountof time we're leasing almost everythingin life you know to me we don't ownnothing and all your own only thing yourown is your own happiness their ownmindset and yourself absolutely and likeyou said you and your wife are happythat's when you care about a lot of thepeople out there to care about the kidsand their parents and that's what theyshould be this I think time is morevaluable than money you know I mean themost most important commodity you canget money all day long you'll get thatforever at the time you never get thatback and that's me saying it becausethat time I lost with my parents I'llnever get anything I get that back yeahme growing up as a most of my friendsused to go back schooldon't open the door go back home sorrydon't open the door one day mom and dada day no I didn't have that feeling Ididn't know what it's like growing upwith parents or what it's like beingwith you in a moment dad and my mom anddad had to go through a lot they have tocry you know they're always outevery day have known a magic I mean I'mnot a parody I can only imagine how hardthat must've been a song he was alwayssaid to my mom and dad I said no there'speople are there I've lost you know theparents in walls and this was going onnow and people are you know dying and Isaid don't worry I'm fine andeverything's goodand I always came that positive energyand that thing that I'm gonna do welldon't worry come off it and I will neverbasically we say flop come so I'm gonnaprove everyone wrong don't worry andsame people they used to criticize usthey don't even want to look at me nowyeah yeah I know I still pull my handout unshaken because that's not the wayof yours just because they hate youdoesn't mean you have to hate back don'tgo on to their level yeah and mostlikely reason that they have these kindof opinions or something positive stuffis because really it's an opinion aboutthemselves so when they see you doingstuff or saying you're gonna dosomething they believe they can't do itand that's what it is I had it well Imean when I was 25I'm 25 slate and I was like 42 poundsoverweightheavier than I was now tits andeverything and I would but I want to goand box it every single person close tome other than my mom I like my brotherand like my immediate family were likeyou can't do it straightawaydad already decided my fate in here justincredible how do you guys know youhaven't seen me try I wasn't as good aswhen I was 17 when I first know but Iwas like oh because I was so likefocused I was like respond I think Icould do something because I had anOlympic coach who told me I could do itand I was at surely his opinion in thatfield matters a little bit more thanyour opinion yet but then saying that ifI never had that guy tell me that Iprobably would have believed it and Iprobably would never have tried it and Istill say to this day those two yearsare the best years of my life I neverachieved the things that I want to dochief but I built my counter and I builtmy strength and I built so much about meas a personyeah in those two years that I think isreally important that was me literallyignoring people's opinions or definitelyurge people shut up everything the thingis that when people when people say toanother person you can't do it who arethey don't you are needy they'renobodies they just feel like that butthemselves that they Condor is on youcan do itand it's good in a way because when youstart thinking like that you getstronger and you think to yourself youknow what that's true who are they totell me and you that's why sometimesthat period of my life where I gotcriticized judged I probably took anynow people but they won't do to my faithbut yeah but you need them peoplesometimes because they've got a issuewith themselves in within themselves ofcourse but they're taking it out onothers but you need these people becauseyou use them as a competitive thing likeyou know what I'm gonna prove you wrongthere and it helps you it pushes youeven more and it's just forget it I justhave this quote from the whole two yearson my wallpaper on my phone and it was Ido because I can't I come because I wantto I want to because you said I couldn'tand that's what it was because there wasso many people that said I couldn't yeahI'm just gonna go and do this now yeahalmost to prove them wrong so I get thatyeah it's very hard but like I saideveryone goes to so much through lifeand you mentioned the depression thingearlier and obviously you know you foundfighting as your way of kind ofreleasing energy and helping you and allthe benefits of exercise on mentalhealth and depression yeah how did youovercome it or is it something that youstill feel you battle with now I thinkum I don't have it no more now basicallyup in a way but back then when I was akid I didn't know it was depression okaybut it was but I realized afterafterwards it what it was because goingin a room lock yourself up and crying isjust as a 12 year old and I was 10 to 12that's when it was the main period andit was a bit more you wouldn't realizeand you think one more crank you justyou know but that's what's going on yourhead is telling youDanya you're on your own you got no onethere your mom and dad that's so faraway you know you have all thesethoughts going through your head andnegative thoughts basically and hestarted from there and I worked myselfin a way thinking and first of allsports was helping me anyway keeps yourmind of things you know like I alwayssay to people find a hobby don't have tobecome a sport do any sport it could beanything you know sitting playing onPlayStation yeah sometimes it gets yourmind off things remind some wellabsolutely and the way I overcome it isbasically I was justone day I'll just come home and thinkingto myself I'm about 14 now and I'm doneit in ages and I was thinking to myselfhold on I felt alone I'm not sittingthere I was thinking and no one caresabout me you know I want to go back toGermany I don't want to be here no morebut then I started thinking these peoplestarted coming all in my head thatcriticized me and just my family myparents basically and everything and Isaid if I go back now and give up Igotta hear that for rest of my life andmy mom and dad will have to hear thatsay he didn't make nothing of himself heain't done nothing so at 14 I have tothink and more 14 year olds they don'tthink about us knowing no chance I haveto prove after thinking my head don'tthink you know what I can't do this Igive up no matter how hard it becomes Iwill not give up I was there yeah andprove everyone wrong and I'm not tellingeveryone that it's easy to do you knowdepression is it's a very I don't thinkit's looked into as much it should beand it's quite hard and not many peoplecan overcome itbecause they feel that there's no oneday and of course you know I mean untilnot only in the hard waylook I didn't speak to no one I usedmyself as in I'm gonna do this I'm gonnado that I'm gonna prove them wrong andI'm gonna give it a go I'm not gonnagive up and then I never gave up fromthey carried on I went through a lot ofstuff through it throughout then as wellI lost my grandparents in India mum ormy dad's mom and dad both died day aftereach of that and especially a funeralday it's a very different thing I'vegone I've lost fights that's made mefeel down you know I've had shitperformances fights I've been criticizedjudged again this was around 18 19so through in my whole life there's beenbits and bobs but I had that one thingin my head I don't give a fuck I am NOTgonna give up and I'm gonna carry on andtoday people respect you for it you knowpeople think you know who's strongminded person yeah definitely and nowI'm just too old I'm getting I feel likemy body might not be the same that I waswhenwas 18 I'd like mmm fire and then gotthe punches got the kid speed whateverbut in my head I'm still that lion andhe still there and if I have to dosomething I know I can do it my bodymight have to be shattered even if it'snot fighting or whatever is all trainingusing that one is yeah unify they saypeople lose their jobs they getredundant the baffled they don't knowwhat to do they go to a pub they startdrinking no cuz they don't used tothinking one fuckin into the worldno walk through that door be happy mmmsee your familywhat about girlfriend kids where thatsmile say you know whattomorrow's another day absolutely simpleas that to do them and that's the way toovercome things it's hard it's it's noteasy I'm not saying it's easy but youknow yeah I think you need mindset yeahyou've got like an athletic like a toptop level of mindset but the thingsyou're saying is you're not saying youdon't feel it as well yeah you stillfeel pain you still feel this struggleor making a hole and you're not Supermanlike nobody wants to wake up and runningthe cold but you have to do cosnecessary you have to do and if anythingif we can train ourselves whether it'sthrough exercise combat sports orwhatever it is like any goals we have isit going to discipline yourself yesthat's really where you get your rewardsyeahdiscipline yourself alone you have todiscipline your mind and your you haveto think right and it's just like likeyou said it's not easy but what isn'teasynothing's easy in life and this is athing and I think I'm not sure of theright word for it but I feel a littlebit sorry for people who haven't beenthrough the hardship in life or sufferedas much because it's more difficult forthem to put themselves in somebody likeyourselfs position yeah see the thing isyou had your back against the wall youhad no other choice easy there look Iquit and this is the end now or I keepfighting forward and you're callingforward stand by swing it's true even asa kid like when I was in Germany goingthrough being bad influence through Iwas only seven eight and I wasn't doingtheft and that and literally you knowjust I think the only time one thing Iremember is getting my head kicked in bya bunch of sixteen year olds me I'm aI'mseven years eight years old but that wasthe life growing up in the state and Ithink coin from coming from Frankfortthey stay area there and come into handswith it's just as bad well yeah I boughtthat mentality to England that no one'sgonna fuck with me and I am Who I am Isee and they've helped me I don't knowme I remember last time getting introuble here in England you know juststay disciplined and then what I have todo found a talent kept up with it keptmy head strong you know regardless ofwhat happens in life they're gonna beups and downs gems are gonna come that'sno matter what they don't matter who isokay you can be a celebrity you can beyeah multi-millionaire credit they'reall going through storms and they allcome through life where they stressedand they're whoever but the carrier ofthe carrier they don't give up you knowand that's the way to be to be basicallyand I carried on to be fair I boughtthat same mentality it took time andlike I said I still you have ups anddowns now I have ups and downs now andthen but doing that thing like waking upin the morning how makes it positiveit helps Lord and I hope people try thatthis you try all right definitely I meanI've started yeah I told you you'd liketo get people to start it because it'simportant out and the thing that'simportant is you showed your underability there so we all know you as thistough guy yeah you know kicking ass allover all over the world but it's good tohave wannabe of you as a human sayinglook I still struggle that's it but likeyou said you've got two choices youbefore you go backwards and yours isalways to go forward keep lookingforward and don't look back basically ifyou start looking back you living in thepast of course live in the moment that'swhat we've gone the future that's got tobe fair forget the future the past livein the limit yeah I believe in thatmoment you know you wake up that's yourday live in that moment that time thatyou got in that lake every minute hourwhatever counts yeah and giving thatmoment I love it future is a plan pastis gone forget that and the moment iswhat you're gonna do then whatever youdo in the day doesn't mean I'm tellingpeople to train or whatever not asathlete wise as a normal human beingwise find happiness firstin yourself and think positive and whatyour mind just starts changing myselfI'm just living that moment I love itthat's the best way brilliant bro Iappreciate that great lessons there um Iwould ask you then another question andso I know you're not scared of likecombat and stuff stuff that most peoplea normal person on their own will bescared of confrontation is tough becauseobviously you've been then you're notjust competing against a normal personthrow it you're competing againstsomebody who's trained and probably justas hard as you yeah but other than thatwhat else in life scares you then youknow what be honest I've never fearedanything to be fair the only thing Ifear and as in person who Dean he'sprobably my parents losing my parents Idon't feel nothing else I can go back tothe bottom I know I'll rise up againnothing fears me but we all know that weget old at one point and we're gonna usepeople we love and it's a hard thing andespecially like me that I haven't spenttime with them as much as I want to domy life and try my best I'll doeverything now a lot of people ask mewhat you want you go holiday come withyou mate so I can do that whenever ofcourse at that time I have off I'll gohome and that time I spend with my momand dad it's the most important time inmy life and I think if I fear anythingit's losing my parents in life basicallynothing else fears me I could lose wahwah lose my house I can lose my job I'lldo whatever is but you can't replacethat you can't replace certain thingsyour parents are one thing that youcan't replace you loved once somethingyou know and that is my fearwe take you for granted yeah we doanother fear that a lot it's it'ssomething that you know you gotta acceptit one day it's no and but you don'twant it to come and that's the fear youhave any you've got the right mentalitythough that every day is you basicallyseize the dayyeah so you make the most of it I'm thesame I think that probably one of mybiggest fears as well my immediatefamily obviously if you know is you doand I know a lot of people use thatdreams to inspire my sometimes use likemy nightmares to inspire me so I Isometimes I know it sounds a bit morbidbut it's like just imagine if this istheir everlastingdo you know what I meanthat requires we have to really give myall on the day because my my end game isfor them to have their life that they'vealways wanted a do you know mean untilthey have to find that for them so ifyou always because I'm not the longeryou take the more chance it is of thatday coming that's it yeah that makes itand you're right that is using that isbasic I use the same thing like I alwaysthink the opposite I think to myself youknow it's God forbid something happensto him that's why I booked my ticket onthe last minute hang on when I have thattime off it can be two days three daysI'm their dog of course no catch theflight I'm gone you know I mean I coulduse that money to do anything I want Idon't know anywhere in the world if Iwant some toys and do I want but thattime I spend with them that's the bestwas the best time and even if he's justsitting at home and just talking tohaving it laughing just chilling itcan't be no there's no that's the onlything I personally fear anything else Idon't feel like you can throw me in thejungle with nothing you know I meanobviously I'll come at what I've gottado and going back to the bottom of myadvice by cooking I'm not scared normalbecause you know once you've been thereyeah you don't fear to be there againbut you know how to wake yourself upthen yeah you can be poor rich but theywere still living our India and you seepoor people you see you know how peoplelive and how people are they still haveyou know yeah you don't mean it's crazyeasy it's still happy I'm going Thailandback end of last year and I rememberthis one particular family was a threegeneration family and they were justsmiling in this very small hut whereclothes on the line that didn't looklike they were washed but they werewashed I don't mean that in anydisrespectful way but happiness it wasalmost like an advert you know that whenyou watch these business embolus and Iwalked past it with the wife and we justwalking back to the hotel sir that'sbliss I mean like no God they've goteach other that's actually enough youknow those relationships they gothappiness love and I was like I lovethat it did change my perception a lotcoming back from a place like that and Ithink them as people especially intoday's society so glued to ourInstagram and we should go out there weshould look at these people and travel abit of the world and see how lucky weactually are I went when I fought inIndia for in Bombay andit was a the poverty day was crazy andpoor but I've seen it remember goinggrowing past in the car on the righthand side there's a mom with the twokids and they seemed happythey smiley and the kids were playingand they ended up in the dirtthings are not change you know you'regonna experience a lot that change andyou think you know always complaincomplain why am i complaining but yeahgoing back to the fear that's the onlything I fear in life otherwise I don'tfear anything - yeah I was gonna say ifyou don't see that the guys getting itherefair enough fair enough so I'm gonnaassume obviously your parents are yourbig motivation but you're also likeyou're inspiring other people as wellnow so you when I've talked about yourInstagram yes if you're waking Mackenzieaway commit will China another minute aswell what keeps you motivated to stillkeep that up because I'm not even aboutday job as well yeah through touch phoneyeah so you went from network around isit yeah engineer you're an engineer andyou do that full time when I see you Ijust see you is it after you keepfinding people and doing amazing thingswhat inspires you in terms of keepingthat going is that just something thatyou just enjoy this part of your life orhave you got a bigger inspiration to doanything and I'll be honest you knowwhen it's been in use since 10 years oldit's an it is in your blood and you willnever give it up he's always gonna be inyou that attitude that fighter mentalitythat been there done it and he inspiresme in a way that I used to do this it'sthe world I lived he was it's what mademe I'm not I'm not when people say knowme as me they know me as the fighteryeah yeah no means nothing so easilyit's gonna live with me foreveryeah so that's why it pushes me to helpothers I like to help but I like to bein that environment in that gymenvironment where kids are training itreminds me of me and when these guys aretraining for Big Show's big fights andI'm holy punch to them I'm training himit reminds me that I'll be through thisand I love itI think it's great and Guilds all boysand we have students that are littlekids from girls to boys and this so muchtalent out there and I think it's justbrilliantfor them to get off the couch or hang onthe computers they enacted yeah I thinkit's it's gonna be in me forever alwayswhen it comes to that side I'll alwaysbe there in that sport environmentbecause that's something that stuck withme yeah yeah it's always there and I'malways there to Harper I think thisinterview is going to be interestingthough when people listen to it becausethere's a lot more about this as well asyou as a personyeah and I think you don't give yourselfcredit for how wise and how emotionallyin terms of you you've obviously taken alot of knocks to the head as I telogenbecause I listen to a lot of largepremieres and world leaders and mostpeople speak the same things so that themax of everything is the same everyone'strying to motivate us by I said therewas stuff but what it is we will have adifferent way of communicating and yoursis obviously through your fight game butsome of the words you're saying today isit's literally like I'm hearing it andyou can see how excited I'm when I'msitting here because I was just hearingsomeone I admire lip killing it acrossthe game saying the same stuff yeah sothere's obviously a secret to thesuccess you know the secret ingredientwhich people have it and whether it'smaking money or whether it's inspiringpeople are getting to the top of a5-game the things you are speaking aboutare amazing so hopefully this interviewgives that and I think you shoulddefinitely try and showcase that more aswell we touched on mental health andthis is something we'll take offlinebecause I'm deuce a couple of projectsin mental health so my mom suffered withit for eight years on know how seriousit is and I think having someone from soof health and fitness background into itthere might be room for us topotentially work together or somethingto what help into poor people awarenessis tough so I'm excited for that becauseI think you've got more than just hornypants for people you've got a lot oflife why I like helping doing space ofthat I don't see I'm doing yeah yeahsometimes if my friends all my family oreven my parents of the day of negativetimes on the talky negative I'm thinkingI'm explaining it to them yeah it's truelike you said you don't realize you havethat in your head you have it here likeyou don't have to have a great a beall agree but if you got generalknowledge in life and you know how toespecially help people I made peoplehappy no life experience is the mainthing a female nowadays this youths outthere that like thatyou know I mean of course parents wantto give them everything on the platedon't want to see them struggle butthey're not gonna experience life she'snot gonna not true no and I think thebest lesson they could teach at schoolis how to control and understand yourown mind which is something that you'vehad to do definitely cuz I remember lasttime using science I use it a little bitfor fitness but generally speaking yeahit's some of the stuff is okay yeah Idon't know how to pay tax and yeah ofcourse they should just be like a lifeschool or thing yeah yeah but I thinkthat's something that I'll probably dowith my kids because I'm not I've gotacademics yeah then the whole degree theMasters and stuff and it's not really some where I want to go look this stuff Iwanna do I don't actually need any ofthat so for me it's like I've justwasted so many years so when I get kidsand stuff I'd love first I'm gonna getin the club box it's a little boxyengineer sports all that's also butgenerally speaking what I think whenthey get to a certain age if they find apassion or something they wanna do Itook their choice yeah absolutely theirchoice and another thing I want to hiton is basically a lot of people don'trealize this when there's no differencebetween a girl and a boy a girl can doanything that a boy can understand Iknow girls are tough for the boys yeahthey're champions and I don't disagreewith the thing that a female can't dowhat American you know they can doanything anything that American andnowadays females are more successfulthan men really do what and he's justthe individual that's why yeah because Iget a lot of parents saying that oh yeahmy boys gonna do this but how about yougirl look of course it what means shecan't do that no example like fightingor boxingoh my boy he might not want to do thatbut you go might become a world championbe and it it's I mean yeah there's a lotof female fighters now I'm seen comingup as dangerous imagine you also is allgonna bring on a female power lifterit's just a normal girl that youwouldn't think thatthe power of technique and everythingthey got and everything else boys thisgot their own training and it's hard andit's all a point athlete and fighting tothe sign as a person and human I'll bethrough things but I'm still standingokay so there you've heard it the buzzerhas gone off now we're gonna put Rajthrough his paces and I'm gonna askingthe most random questions ever was 60seconds so are you ready buddy yeah I'mready let's go okay brilliant three twoone what did you eat for breakfast seeya the ability to fly or be invisiblevisible money or fame money Bruce Lee orChuck Norris Bruce Lee your proudestmoment your favorite food pizza Netflixor YouTube Netflix your number-one goalthis year just be healthy boxing orkickboxing boxingwould you rather know how you will dieor when you were dying your favoriteboxer ever everything more or less yourfavorite MMA fighter ever John Joneslove or money love books or moviesyou're number one fitness tip yourfavorite workout song yes if you couldsit with one person in the world foranother who would it benot bad your worst fear is a child youever seen what is your biggest addictionjunk food summer or winter winter yourfavorite place in the world India if youcould abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be your favorite superheroyour biggest friend and the finalquestion is your favorite movie starRobert De Niro really good stuff okay sothe next thing I ask is about reflectionso if you could go back to maybe anearlier time in your life where youcould whisper something to your youngerself say for instance when you're firstcoming to Tom that Airport yeah youleavin funfair fine you comin up toEngland and you can just whispersomething into that kids yeah knowingwhat you know now what would you say ifI'll take it back to that timewhen me when I first left Germany goingto that Airport back with my bags nowhispering to that kids hear my sob I'lljust say go there and smushy hmm you'regonna make it okayso we're actually at the last questionnow and this is a question asked all onmy guess yeah and it's if you're nothundred fifty years no members arearound anymore and all that exists is abook book on the table and it's a bookabout your life and everything thatyou've done open to whenever you passand on that book what I wouldn'tobviously what the player would be andsecondly what the summary would tell usabout you at the back Montana would bebasically my favorite song with no oneknowing this notion of comedy it's myway from Frank Sinatra okay love like mybook would be called my way yeah becauseI've done everything my way the way Iwanted it to do the way I wanted it tobe and that's why I'll call it just myway but a picture yeah okay straightahead my legs and the name my way and atthe back just a great human beingbasically like how people and wentthrough the struggles through journey ofmy life and a Beatle come my way my waytry and get the truck oh yeah I lovethat song literally but um yeah that'sit really but that wouldn't be the bookand I will be the back the journey of mylife okaythat I destroyed my way no fantastic andI've sort of said thank you again forobviously sharing your story I knew it'dbe good my wife's been telling me forages brought myself as a podcasting backin the day but she was like you need toreach out to write you know it's got anamazing stories inspiringfrom the moment I met you today yourenergy and stuff appreciate thatthank you very much days on I'm justlike as a friend now I'm proud ofeverything you're achieving and whatyou're doing going forward until yourparents are as well and just before weclose up the show what's the best placethe audience can connect with you orfollow your story they can connect withme through Facebook social mediaInstagram Facebook and your names forthe names are red silentokay on Instagram only one radish saladI likeand they're on Facebook right silentI'll come up and you'll knowstraightaway and you spout Raj Raj andmy second name is sa double L a andfantastic so I do he's operating in theshow notes as well you'll find a lot oflike training footage as well I'm surethere's a lot of mindset stuff in thereas well obviously if you throw a liketraining like I knew actually before Imet you I was gonna want to go to thegym after this episode so I've got myshaker ready I've got my gym attire onI'm going straight to the gym hopefullyinspires you guys but also inspires younot to make excuses in your life becausethere's always somebody out there who'sprobably got it with so thank youRaj and for everyone at home thanks forlistening and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 12 - How to achieve your dreams as a single parent #12Tagline: "Never give up and keep striving for what you deserve" Donna Marie PeggDonna is a single parent who has overcome depression. She is an entrepreneur, a property investor....oh and a police officer during her day job too!You see she could have every excuse under the sun, as to why she is unable to achieve financial freedom and live life in accordance to her dreams, YET she chooses not to.She chooses to make the best use of her time, eradicating her excuses and chasing what she truly desires.For anyone who may have suffered from break-ups, relationship problems and found themselves working 2 or 3 jobs with a child, I hope you can take inspiration from Donna's story as she is living breathing proof that with the right mindset and action anything is possible.I urge you to follow her story and journey further as this wonderful lady is going places!Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keepsakesbymadefrommemories/ (Business)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/madefrommemoriesbears/ (Business)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)Website: www.madefrommemories.comEmail addresses:Madefrommemories@hotmail.co.ukCompasspropertyinvestment@hotmail.com#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so now Arenwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's guest is somebody I wouldconsider a rising star and by that Imean it's somebody who's really takenthe property world by storm in such ashort amount of time now for many of youthat know me I am actually a full timeproperty investor and it's kind of whatmade me I supposefinancially free to allow me to dopassion projects like today but thislady's not far off and I say watch thisspace because she's gonna be somebodywho you're gonna be either working withwatching or perhaps just taking hugeamounts of inspiration from now thereason I say that is because through ourinterview and through conversationsoffline I found out that this person wasalso working was also working on theside was also a single parent and had aside business as well so for anyone outthere who thinks they can't do it orthey don't have enough time or workstressful or their kids are playing upwell listen I don't want to hear itdon't hear your excuses and I'm sureDonna who's I guess today doesn't wantto hear them either so without furtherado let's get this interview on the wayhow are you doing today you're rightyeah I'm very well feeling very poisedup actually from good weekend fantasticfantastic okay so if you could kind ofexplain how you've progressed throughlife and ended up where you are now inyour journey okay I've done quite a lotin life actually a so I've done yeahthere's there's been quite a lot ofpeaks and troughs I'm surelike a lot of people so I had a verygood upbringing I was brought up withmoney so my dad is a business he wasvery business minded my mom was astay-at-home mom to three girls so I hadthat whole business influence from mydad and also the caring motherly rolequite a old-fashioned role reallybecause my dad went out to work and mymom stayed at home and looked after hisfull-time so it was nice to I think youknow that the importance of modeling andeverything and I had I had a very goodupbringing because you know like I saidI had the business aspect of my dad andthe drive and understanding theimportance of money which he was a bigbeliever in his understanding so weworked from a very young age I was 30when I had my first job yeah and I didto be honest I didn't need to workbecause we had a big house I had horseswe had land you know so I had an amazingstart in life but my dad came from avery humble background and was like it'simportant that you understand the valueof money and to go out to work so yeah Istarted work when I was thirteen and myown moneyand I've worked ever since maybe that'swhy I'm such a hard worker and and Iknow that unless you put the graftingyou don't get the result sort of thingso absolutely yeah so and and then Istayed on at school so I was veryacademic minded out of the three of us Iwas the one the clever one the samethere's always one I can relate to thatyeah yeah yeah cuz you're the brainy oneas well apparently but I probablydisagree now I think my little sisterstaken that always taken over now so yeahso I did I stayed at school did mya-levels I did a BTech National Diplomain art and design cuz that's the sort ofarea was going down and then I went toNewcastle and did a fashion marketingdegree for four years within that fouryears at did a three-year and the threeyearswere academic in university and then Idid a year within industry it wasclassed as a sandwich course so jewelryin that time I went and I design ladieshandbags for the high street yeah so Iused to that was my old rock my oldcareer I suppose I started designingladies handbags for the high street wentinto designing and then I had a bit of amoment in life are separated at a sixyear relationship with my first love aswell they were met when I was 17 andthat massively affected me like I endedup having depression and anxiety I meanI stayed in bed mom bless mom mom shehad to come and get me out of bedsometimes because it was just all forcoping with ityou know together six years and yeah hada bit of a I don't know maybe a bit of alife-changing moment and I was like thisgot you know there's got to be more tolife than lying in bed crying over anex-boyfriend so I ended up goingtravelling backpacking around Australiaon my own which was rather daunting hefinds herself in a country the otherside of the world on your own to kind offind yourself yeah but it was the mostamazing thing is the freest I've everfelt in my life you were in a countryyou could go wherever you wantedwhenever you wanted and you weren'trestricted by time or money or anythingand it was it was absolutely amazing andit I spent six months over there and Iactually were hosts I was over therestarted applying for jobs because Iwanted to do extreme sports where designthat was a passion of mine I've alwaysbeen into surfing and snowboarding andthat was a great passion of mine sobasically I went over to have kind of aholiday but I took again I think it'salways been about entrepreneurial yeah Itook a CD basically with my wholeportfolio that I generated at universityand a posted out or the major company soQuicksilver Rip Curl Billabong and thenI got contacted I was on Fraser Islanddoing a two-day trip a incredible placeand I had no internet because it wasjust in the middle of nowhere and I hada ping on my phone and it was avoicemail from Quicksilver saying theywanted to interview me and I was likewow like what an opportunity that wasfor designing designing extremesportswear so you know like all yearsnowboard any surf hoodies and all ofthat yeah that's what they do they're amassive brand if you're into you somekind of skate and surf wear so what anopportunity so I went to Turkey wherethey're based and I stayed there for aweek I went for an interview and theyoffered me a position as a juniordesigner fantastic but they they said tome we basically want you to be able todo all your CAD design so basically allthe things I drew they wanted me to beable to do it on a computer so I waslike you know for me to then get the jobbecause it was all Illustrator based andPhotoshop based so yeah I basically ranout of money anyway in Australia SCI hadto come home right yeah I'd doneeverything I've gone from the bottom ofAustralia like that's where the TwelveApostles are open book to Ken so I'ddone the whole of these coasts and so Icame home I did a CAD design coursepassed the course and then I had a momenagain another maybe life-changing momentwhat do I actually want out of life andthe thing is with the fashion industryalthough it's amazing and it's soinspiring the world of design it's verypretentious as well and I'm a very openbubbly person and always have been and Iwas surrounded by a lot of people and itwas all about money what you ownedrather than who you were as a personso maybe I went a little bit deep withall of that and was like what could I dothat would make a difference yeah andand then I saw Lester Constabulary wererecruiting for police officers yeah sothis was our 11 years ago 12 years 12years ago now so I went along with mymom to the event and it was amazing thefact that you could do so many differentroles within one job and I did all theapplication process and passed it gotreally high level all the written andthe mathematical but I didn't getthrough the interview I just didn't havewhat it was necessary to get theposition so I kind of gave up which wasvery unlike me because I definitely amand I'm a bit like if somebody says noto me mate it's me working honestly somy coach at the time the person whobasically was doing all the applicationprocess with us and making sure that weknew what we needed to do to get to theend goal which was to get the role as apolice officer she contacted me actuallyand said do not give up you were amazingreal I think you have what it takes andon that occasion you weren't successfulbut you were up against a lot of peoplewho were like PCSOsor special so they had more of a policeknowledge than I did because I had no nofriends in the police no family in thepolice I had no idea what was involvedso yeah I basically transferred myapplication to West Midlands Police andbecause I'd done everything the onlything I had to do for them was thedifferent fitness tests because theyhave a different fitness test - Lesterand a passed that and so yeah my 11 yearservice now with them oh wow I know Idon't even know how the time justso I did well at school I wanted to dowell in my career I wanted to be abusiness always had this dream being abusiness woman and because yeah I mean Ibecause I'd hit on it a little bit so wehad Hall she's growing up so when I was13 I was asked to ride for Great Britainyeah so at 13 I got scouted so that wassomething else I used to do as well onthe side of going to school yeah I amso yeah dude horse riding when I wasyounger and I got asked to ride forGreat Britain but I again had thisthought in my mind I want to be a careerwoman I had friends at school you knowand I was I did I thought if I do thatit's going to stop my development in thearea that I want to go in right so Inever I never did that and again I thinkthat's because of the person that I amlike I'm always striving for somethingso I did the university thing andobviously because of my university andthen are separated from my ex of sixyears I would then spend some time on myown I spent two and a half years on myown I think it was really reallyimportant to find you as a person ofcourse so yeah I did a bit ofsoul-searching I think during that timeand figuring out who I was and what Iwanted in life because I find in arelationship when you spend a long timetogether you just become a couple yeahrather than an individualyeah and I lost myself I didn't know whoI was anymore what I wanted so yeah Ithen spent some time on my own joinedthe police and then I met my most recentex who's my daughter's father and wewere together 10 years so yeah I didn'thave my daughter until I was nearly 30right okay okayso when my daughter was four months oldI then set a business orso I was still a police officer but Itook maternity leave for 30 months tobring her up and I set my business up sokeepsake company it's called made frommemories basically I make handmadekeepsake bears out of outgrown babyclothes that's a fantastic idea yeah yesso it's it's it's massively popular andI've got a massive following now so I'vebeen doing it for six years and I alsomake the some remembrance cushions outof granddad shirts you know from familymembers that have passed or teddy bearsout if I mean I get a lot of people likethey've lost their partner to cancerI've done bears made out of soldieruniforms because mum mums have losttheir son in war in Afghanistan so it'shonestly it's I love it I absolutelysentimental is what it is and they're soindividual because obviously they'remade from the clothes belong to thatperson that's lovelyaslam something else I've just learntfrom you as well oh oh like I said itwas always property and obviously we gotspeaking that was that hard in a secondthere's a fascinating story here and afascinating lady's doing all theseamazing things because we touched on itprior to starting this interview withthem I want people who may may be in asimilar situation to yourself I been asingle parent having all theseaspirations and businesses on the sideto believe in themselves a little bitmore that they can go out and do so muchmoreyeah I mean I don't know how you fit inthis in by the way I'm gonna ask youthat because we all only have 24 hoursin the day which is fascinating andmaybe it's it's probably something youtouched on earlier in your life whereyou saw your dad the modeling aspect andseeing how hard I suppose he were tocome from one more background to giveyou and I think you've got two siblingsyou mentioned I have two young youngersistersTrisha Harvey who's my mentor actuallyin property who's an amazing individualand she does real live coachingand he's just I think maybe I mean Iwent to MMI I don't know if you'refamiliar with MMR themmind intensive if it's all to do withthe P yes er Becca if you haven't doneit you should definitely go basicallythey cover your money blueprint and howyou think about money and how you'remodeling from a child has affected thedecisions that you make regarding moneythat's very interests and I went andyeah I went and did that for three daysand a think I had a very very positiveidea of money and I think that's becauseof my dad money was never negative likethey came out with comments like richpeople of greedy people you know likeall negative connotations towards moneyand because I'd had such a positivethought on wealth and money because mydad God apart from my dad saying youknow wait till you get older how hardyou have to work for money yeah he dideverything was very positive aroundmoney and business and working so yeahbabe maybe that's where it all started Ithink so because I think I have probablyheard more negative connotations towardsmoney growing up and I suppose evenmyself having come from humblebackgrounds you do hear those sayingsmonies of you a whole evil and richpeople are greedy rich yeah growing upand having to change my own mindsetwhich has been an absolute minefieldyeah you know through reading andaffirmations and stuff I think you don'tnecessarily need to love money but youneed to at least understand the benefitsthat it can give you so I think it'sfantastic that you had that from a youngage and obviously you'll be able to passthat message on to your little one aswellyeah well incredibly actually hitting onHolly she I've been away for three daysin London and my sister's real lifeproperty event and my mum had mydaughter so I came home on Sunday topick her up and we were talking aboutthe future and everything and my mumsaid my daughter said that she's hadenough of school alreadysix sheshe loved school all about Ithink cuz it's getting harder nowbecause she's getting old she said toher Nana no no I don't I don't want tobe at school anymoreand my mom said to her Hollywell you've you've still got primaryschool and high school to do you've gota long time still in education and sheturned around so my mommy she says butbut Nana I'm going to do what my mommydid yet she says mummys going to help mebuild a portfolio of properties of sothat I don't have to stay in school andthat I can be a businesswoman just likeher fix I know I was like that's amazingand then I sat down and I was explainingsummer mom about passive income and thefact that I'm wanting to build up aportfolio for Holly so that she's gotthe choice of what she does so whethershe wants to work or set her ownbusiness up or go traveling I said Iwanted to have the opportunity thatshe's got the money coming through soshe can decide where her future liesrather then you know life dictating toher where she's going to be absolutely Ithink you hit the nail on the head daysit's it's all about choices in it anddefinitely if you can provide it withthat and I suppose that's kind of whereI'm looking at as well so similar toyourself in terms of like children and Iwant to kind of set my business up firstwhen I do choose to have kids I wantthem at a very early age to had thatmindset that house just displayed thereyeah and to know that there are otherways where you can if you use money theright way especially through propertywhich you both understand give them thatmessage at an earlier age it's onlyhelped them well Erin you I mean fromwhat I've read of you and seen of you inyour YouTube videos and that you'veyou've had a very similar sort of statusme because you've done several differentthings and had to find where you wereand in fact you being a social workerand me being a police officer it's allabout giving back is a hundred percentabsolutely and and you touched on itearlier as always said like there's moreto life than money and stuff and thatwas kind of the reason I gave up projectmanagement and working for a greatLondon companybecause I was like there's gotta be moreto life and that's kind of where I wentinto the Social Work sidemy only problem was I just realized theimpact I suppose I wanted to have inSocial Work I was unable to give andthat's the same as the place becausewhat I I joined to make a difference butbecause of legality is and thegovernment and the the yeah therestrictions of court and everything Ialthough I want to make that impact Ican't make that impact because thisrestrictions stopping me I supposethat's probably the reason you thenchose to go through property yeswell property's always been one of theseI was one of these who sat for hourswatching and and I've always lovedproperty in the excitement of you knowhaving having a dirty stone and makingit into a diamond sort of thing yeah youknow buy and also again my mission is tomake affordable housing to a highquality standard and made every house ahome I mean my company compass inproperty investment is all about givingpeople the right direction and makingevery house a home whether it's for atemporary accommodation until they findtheir forever home whether it's theirfirst home that they're buying as acouple or whether I'm providing aforever home for them it's just givingthem that feeling of being at home Ithink I think I'm as a student and alsomy professional life I've rented and youknow these rooms in houses or you know asingle-layer if you you don't abide tolet just never feel at home and that'simportant to me in my portfolio is tocreate houses that feel like home Joelat home that's a lovely message and Ithink I think everyone wants that dawnthere really I mean I try and do thatwith my tenants as well ways I try andlet them use it as their home so if theywant to decorate they want to do stuffthat's absolutely fine by me because heis about creating that home because letyou said we know what it's likehave that feeling of coming home asopposed to just staying somewhere whereyou think this is just a temporarymeasure and I think it's important youknow with regards to keeping yourtenants as well because if you providesuch an amazing environment for themthey're safe and clean and tidy if theywant to stay there because it does feellike home absolutely yeah I mean I'vehad no change obvioustouchwood so fingers crossed it stayslike that but yeah I just love thatmessage behind what you're trying to doin property so I need to ask you nowbecause obviously we've touched on allthese amazing things you're doing I'msure you probably miss some stuff out aswell what's your what's your what's yourdaily routine like then so being asingle mother getting into property andI've seen some of your cracking dealsthat you've got lined up now working inthe police force as well you're intohealth and fitness which you haven'tmentioned but I know that from stalkingyour profile so what other things areyou doing and what what's the kind ofday in the life like for you oh my mydays are absolutely crazyI can imagine I'm not gonna lie it theyit is bedlam because I obviously splitwith my ex a couple of years ago so hehas my daughter a few days a week whichalso allows me to have some time to getthings done I only work part-time in thepolice now so I work Monday TuesdayWednesday every week and I then have mybusiness my keepsake business howeversince I went to MMI and looked at mybusiness and growing the business andcoming out of the business because theproblem with me at the moment is I'm ineverything and I've now now I've comedown this mindset journey and going intoproperty and with my mentoring andcoaching with Trisha I've now realizedthat I need to come now I've set thingsup and they're going really well andI've built up a massive client base Ineed to come out of it because my timeis precious and if I invest all my timein one thing I can't do anything else soI've actually recently taken on twoladies that I'm going to train up tomake my keepsakesthat's going to be basically handed overto them and then I will just manage itwhich is then going to free up some timeto do more on the property side whichI've just started but like you hit onAren of you know I've already got twodeals and they're big projects the likeeight bed HMOs that I'm also juggling inbetween and I'm sure you know the amountof viewings that you have to go on tofind these deals absolutely it'sinspiring to see what what you're doingbecause like I said I keep saying it butinitially I thought was just propertythen obviously getting to know you overthe last month or so I'm hearing howmany other things you're doing and ifanything it makes me feel quite lazy tobe honest because I'm like oh I haven'tgot a child to look after I haven't gotan occupation where I need to be thereMonday to wednesday so and yeah I knowhow difficult it is it's literally yougot to get used to the word know you'vegot to get used to rejections you wantto be on the ground 24/7 so it'sinspiring and hopefully inspires otherpeople is well out there who may yeahthink having being a single parent orhaving a part-time job or a full-timejob is a way to kind of excuse them fromnot aspire to there's no excuse there'syou are your own worst enemy the reasonyou don't succeed in life is because ofyourself and it's and I'm a greatbeliever in taking action if you don'ttake action you don't take risk nothingever changes and the thing is if Icarried on doing what I've always done Iwould just remain where I've always beenso exactly so what I've done is it isdifficult I'm not going to lie it's hardwork but I've done so much changerecently and so much on the mind setbecause mine's it's so important becauseto me if you're your heads not in thegame you're not in the gameyou know and it massively you need to betelling yourself every day reminding youyou can do it I mean every day I writedown my successes I do my five successesevery day I also write my goals down soit's important thatyou know what your goals are you knowyour your quarterly goals your yearlygoals your five yearly goals ten andyour 20 year Li goals because it givesyou something to aim towards I think Ihit on that earlier about how importantyour goals are to make you drive towardsthem and obviously looking you hit onearlier as well the affirmations anddeclarations it's it's all about youknow getting you and your mind in theright place and it's amazing how muchonly in a matter of a couple of monthsmy life has just gone upside down in agood way in a good way honestly thethings that are coming to me like theamount of investors that are contactingme for my projects because all myprojects are 100% investor led we do JVpartnership but I use zero of my ownmoney it's all investor money that paysfor my property is which and they get avery good return much better return thanthey would with the banks but as youknow Erin you do the same core samething so but it's so important becauseyou you know the these individuals arebuying into me it's not just about thedeal it's about me as a person and I'mvery positive but very brave and verymotivated I'm a very friendlyapproachable person which is veryimportant and I believe in myself oh yesI am a single mom yes I do own a busybusiness yes I do have a job and yes Ihave set a property business sort butI'm doing it it's so inspiring I meanI'm just taking notes here because Iwant to what I want to do from what youjust said days give single parents athome just a couple of tips there so thenumber one thing and this is somethingthat I've had to really really work onmyself in the last six months is believein yourself because irrespective of whatanyone else says whether it's your momwhether it's your partner your siblingsyou have to believe in yourself aboveall else and also if there's noif people around you you don'tnecessarily need to get rid of them butmaybe you've spent less time with themso if you're spending two hours a daywith those people maybe spend 20 minutesa day with them because the people thatare around you the the negativity that'saround you will only keep you where youare it will not move you forward I thinkthat's a great point because some peoplealways think how can I just get rid ofsomebody who's negative in my life yeahand we're not necessarily saying youneed to get rid of them what I do is Ikind of do this thing where I look atthem and I'll smile and nod but I'm notlistening to a word they're sayingif I know it's negative and at the sametime and that's mainly for people I knowI have to kind of be around but if it'ssomeone negative I do the same thing ortry and reduce your time with them youalso mentioned a very very good pointwhich is you write down your goals dailyyou do your lashes but I just want toquickly elaborate on something you saidthe five successes is that fivesuccesses that you want to achieve or isit five successes that you've doneperhaps the previous day no that day soit means every day yes at the end ofevery day I've got a success book just alittle book a notebook and I write theday and successes and I do five so itcan be as little as often it's theschool run I'm late on time and you knowwe get the thing the thing is we don'twe don't celebrate our small successeswe've achieved on a daily basis and it'sjust sometimes the little thingsespecially with people with depressionand I've been there just getting up andshowers and getting dressed for the dayis a massive achievement for somebodywith depression you know simply pickingthe phone up to ask for help when you'vegot depression that is a massive thingso it's little successes like I saidgetting to the school run on time goingand doing some viewings putting an offerin on a house networking with somebodyto possibly get another investor onboard for a project they're all littlesuccesses that believe you need tohighlight and and they they say aboutonce you write it down the mechanics ofyour brain work differently and ityou've you kind of take iteven better when she write it down sothat's what I do at the end of every dayI write down my five successes no matterhow big or small I love this so what youreferred to at the end I think it'scalled a reticular activation system isthat what it is yeah that's how you sayand it's kind of like these so an easyexample is if for instance you go outand you looking for a red car or you buya red car all of a sudden when you're onthe road you'll notice in that red careverywhere where it's prior to that youprobably didn't so I think if you cantune your brain in the right way thatyou're looking for opportunities you'reseeking better that better purpose orvision of your life you're going tostart attracting that sort of stuff andyou are just touched on somethingthey're really important about the smallwinsI suppose I'm guilty of this myselfbecause I will probably have a lot ofsmall ways in the day but I'm notgenerally in that probably the way Ishould so I'm literally written out herethat I'm gonna literally copy whatyou're doing there because I thinkthat's an amazing point to do I know thedepression stuff that you mentioned beshowering and little things like thathaven't haven't seen my mom strugglewith it for the best part of eight yearsI know that as a personal thing so it'sit's it's a fantastic point there andhopefully people listening to us couldtake that on board so it's not as easyas it sounds I suppose obviously we'dlike the Instagram success and we'relooking around on social media seeneveryone doing all these amazing things24/7 yeah but he's like you know Arenis do not ever compare yourself toanybody else that that is the worstthing that anybody can do you know focuson what you're doing where you'reheading what you're wanting from lifeand also you hit on yeah I'm a bigFitness nutrition that's one of thereasons actually Aren that I found youthrough your fitness journey to be fairbefore before the property journey and Imassively believe healthy body healthymind I have a very clean diet only inthe last four months have I started I doweightlifting and all of those peopleout there again single moms I don't goto the gym I do this from home but be inthe last couple of months I've lost astone and I'm only small anyway you knowI've always been slim but it's importantto methat you get every part of your life inbalance I think and and in your dietexercising you know they release so manydifferent chemicals that make you feelbetter about yourself so yeah it is hardwork trying to fit all of this inthought you know it makes such anincredible difference it does just haveto do itoops I agree I think it's it's justsmall wins no habits rather than lookingat the big picture I think thecomparison thing is a massive point butit's again it's easier said than done Ithink once you find yourself looking atstuff constantlyI would just news it I would just stopusing that up and just really try andfind yourself which is something thatyou mentioned before great stuff and sothe next thing I want to know is aboutadversity so you're very bubbly you'redoing amazing things and I'm sure likelike many of our listeners you've hadyour fair share of adversity as wellcould you if you wouldn't mind explain atime where you've perhaps been throughadversity maybe something recent Isuppose in your journey whether it's adeal falling through or somethingsomething significant that you thinkthat could normally break somebody willgive somebody the opportunity to presentthemselves with an excuse I mean we allhave struggles in life I mean only redlight it's it's quite recent only twoyears ago now like I said I split withmy ex and it's it's been difficult youknow I'm not I'm not gonna lie becomingbecoming a single mom knowing that hadmy business work you know all the otherday-to-day role the role of a mother tocontend with and juggle with it's beendifficult I I took the decision to endthat relationship which again was amassive you know because I my decisionwas going to affect three people notjust myself however I'm i sat one daywas like I feel lonely and I feelnegative and I feel unhappy and I'm in arelationship and that isn't what itslife's about you should be in arelationship you should feel adored youshould feel that that person bringsthe best of you brings out the bestversion of you and that they add to yourlife so that was a massive thing for meto do was to end a relationshipespecially when we had a young childtogether and almost stop being selfishbecause I had to think about the biggerpicture the future and obviously theposition of you know how it was going toaffect my daughter I suppose so yeah Imean I could have easily have just saidlook let's just carry on you know let'sjust make it work let's work harder atit but I had to make that decision tolike we've got to the end of the roadand it's it's not it's not making me anybetter it's not making him any betterand it certainly isn't going to make ourdaughter any better so I'd say that's amassive achievement in itself to makeand realize that you needed to makechanges Wow I think you just heard thereit is an achievement I think thinkingabout the bigger picture in that in thatscenario because I see spar - oftenpeople who are just unhappy in life yeahbeing unhappy you have to accept thatit's a choice and you've sat there andyou thought actually I need to make adecision here to change this and for thebetter and it seems like it's going forthe better I hope obviously the otherparty is fine as well and obviously yourdaughter's in it in a good place as wellso we've got a very amicablerelationship he's a great guy he's anamazing dad so and I could never takethat away from him but together I meanas a family unit we works but togetheras a relationship we didn't and and it'simportant for for everybody out theredon't be scared like I say so many timestwo friends of mine who are in happyrelationships but it's all about themoney and it's all about the securityand you know they're scared but I'd handon heart say it's not as hard as youthink it's going to be it really is andI suppose I'm guilty of it myselfbecause sometimes when you have to makea decision and if you know it's going tohurt one of the other parties I reallyreally struggle with that and it's onlyrecentI just kind of do like a five-fourthree-two-onea kind of a Mel Roberts approach whereI'm like okay five four three two oneand I'll just send that message out orI'll give him the cord yeah say themessage and like you said it's not ashard as you think and in hindsight Imean after a day or two you everything'snormally a lot better than probably thescenario you're telling yourself in yourhead exactly so what's your biggest fearthen my biggest fear I think he cycleokapi who is failure and doing somethingand not succeeding I've been veryfortunate the decisions that I've madein life of always I've always succeededover succeeded and everything that I'vedone even little jobs I've hadreception jobs at dental practices andthe the head dentist there is thenoffered to give me a position and as adental nurse I worked in adopts ofsurgery as a receptionist and got askedif I wanted to train as the practicemanager so people honestly people ofalways whatever position I've ever donein my life they've always seen somethingin me to go further than where I amhowever you always still have your ownfears and your own doubts about whetheryou can achieve what other people cansee in you so yeah I think that's one ofmy fit my just fear of failure and fearof not you know I suppose like Petepeople think that I'm going to be herelike a certain level and I'm like oh mygod am i you know am I gonna let yeah amI gonna let everybody downand I'm not gonna reach even theirexpectations of meyeah that's a massive fear of mesometimes and what what if so forinstance you did fail so say for is thisyour next venture in property it didn'tgo the way that you wanted it to goI mean I've struggled to believe thatyou would let that knock you down no Ibloody wasn't you know it's one of thosethings that you know what at thatparticular time that deal wasn't rightand it didn't work and you know there'smassive learningin it I mean already with my firstproject things are coming up that I'mhaving to get over I'm learning so muchalready because this property that I'mworking currently on is in aconservation area and I did realize thatthe loft extension in its been done andit's not got planning permission andthere's permitted development forcertain things so loft extensions areunder committed development but in aconservation area you basically can'teven move a treeyou can't cut hedges down you can'tchange windows you can't do anythingwithout planning permission so it's likelittle things like that but I'm learningbecause I'm now working with planningI'm now working with HMO offices youknow contacting I've got a tree that islike push the roots are pushing into theproperty so I'm having to get a surveydone but it's like now I'm in touch withthe councilI've spoken to tree surgeons and all ofthat just ask the mom database my youknow everything that I'm learning alongthe way and next time if things aren'tthat come up he's scary thought becauseI've dealt with it all really yeahabsolutely I would personally thinkjudging by that and say that yourbiggest fear is probably expectationsrather than at your failure because Ijust feel like you're just go throughyour learn and then you're you'll bebetter and you just kick ass next timebasically yeah definitelyand I mean I've I've gone very big withmy first projects because a lot ofpeople said oh my god Donna like it'syour first projects that it's aneight-oh and obviously we get all thepeople the negative people say you can'tdo a hecho mo for your project you'vegot to 1/8 birds for your first projectyou won't get the investors you can'tget a bridge loan because we deal withbridge loans and I'm like well it'sfunny because I'm doing all of thatexactly so but but it's only through thefact that my sister is my mentor that Iknow she's doing it she's gettingproperties passed through blanketarticle 4 areas people on the HMO groupswhich are also on our own are sayingthat's impossible that's impossiblethat'sso I don't even comment anymore it'spossible yeah absolutely it's justimpossible for them I would justliterally leave it I think it's ablessing in disguise that obviouslyyou've got Trisha there to help you aswell because I'm not she's doingfantastic things but you also have togive yourself credit as well for yourmindset yeah yes I'm sure she's been amassive catalyst and help but I justfeel that your enthusiasm and like yousaid anything you you generally touchyou will make a success of it so don'tforget to obviously give yourself praisethere as wellyes no no I I think I use my sister toremind me you know when my little voicecomes in over where yes yes I use mysister as my no she's done it no she'sdone it she's got those figures onrefinance she's managed to do that sowhy can't I so she's just I supposeshe's my little crutch at the momentbecause I haven't done it so when I havedone it I'll be saying well no I didthat last time you know I'm doingalready done that I just want to bringup that point as well you mentioned thelittle voice because I can so relate tothat and I'm sure there's many of mylisteners who have this little voice intheir head and the beautiful thing withyou just saying that there is we allhave that little voice so some of usmight sit there you might have thisself-doubt and believe that maybe thisjust isn't for me but when you startspeaking to people who are doing amazingthings and I'm sure Trisha wouldprobably say the same thing I bet youshe has that little voice as well but Ithink what we have to do is we have tolearn how to calm that voice down andkind of overpowering I suppose in it andalso reminding yourself that your littlevoice isn't you yeah that little voiceisn't you this is all your that's allthat all your insecurities all yournegativity all those it's like thelittle devil sitting on your shoulder itreally is telling you that it isn'tpossible that you can't do it but youcan because all you need to do is takeaction stay positive keep the the rightpeople around you and network with theright people and you can make anythinghappenabsolutely I love thatwhat we're gonna do now is we're gonnago into the fun part of the show andjust keep it that you have no ideawhat's gonna happen but oh my god it'sreally easyhopefully it's a bit of fun it's justsixty Seconds where I'm gonna ask youthe most random questions just to kindof give the listeners a little bit moreabout yourself and mix it up a bit soare you ready yes all right fantasticwe're going to start in three two oneokay romance or comedy a comedy Italianor Chinese Italian the best place you'veever been Australia cinema or bowlingcinema the ability to fly or beinvisible Oh probably to fly money orfame money horse riding or fashion horseriding Netflix our YouTube YouTubeSnickers or MarsSnickers every day favorite TV show everprobably friends speak all languageswill be able to speak to animalslanguage is your biggest inspiration atthis particular moment in timedefinitely my sister Trisha love it ifyou could sit with one person in theworld for an hour who would it beit's a queen you know would you ratherknow how you would die or when you weredying when if you could have polish onething in the world what would it bebullying your favorite song everStereophonics performance and cocktailsis there and the final question is wouldyou rather read mindsor predict the future read minds love itbrilliant that's it oh my god bless yait's more fun that way because you can'tplan for it really yeah okay so Ibelieve hindsight is obviously awonderful thing and it teaches us thatwe can get to places quicker faster andprobably with less money as well but atthe same time the journey does teach usa lot as well so what I want to know isif you could go back in time to maybeone moment where you were younger whatadvice would you give yourself yeah Ithink at school I got bullied which I'msure a lot of people went through so youknow if I wish I had my thoughts myfeelings of our positivity back when Iwas like 12 13 I said Terrywith my skin so yeah it was a hard timeduring my teenage years and I just wishI could go back and tell that personthat you know your you are stronger thanyou think you are and these people it'stheir own insecurities it's their ownissues with themselves that are causingthem to bully you yeah so I I own ouslywould not change a single thing that hashappened in my life because it's beenWho I am today for like you said if Ihad to go back I would love to tell thatlittle girl the life will be good life'sgonna be amazing you just need tobelieve in yourself I love itI hate bullying like when you said thatyes named with me because I've hadfamily members suffer with it I was Isuppose I was very fortunate that I wasquite popular at school so I kind ofnever really in aspect but even nowgrowing up and becoming I suppose moreintelligent more emotionally aware Isometimes keeping myself how I neverreally like intervened or stopped sortof you know how yeah kind of laugh withthe crowd and I suppose that yeah that'sjust as bad really but at that time yeahso you feel like you'd you feel like youshould have stood up myself for thatbecause if I ever see anything now as aman I'd always jump in but as a kid Isuppose you're almost kind of worried Isuppose that if you jump in then you'regonna be at the crux of everyone's jokesyeah I think social medias happen interms of bringing it out there so whenthere are these cases going on and I'veseen quite a few terrible stories it isbringing the importance that you knowthis just isn't acceptable because itwas such a long term effect but I'm soglad that it hasn't obviously affectedyou too much because now you're doingamazing things and inspiring yeah andand you know what it's quite nice nowthat I'm older and I am successful and Ilook back on those people at that timewho aren't doing very well now and I'mlike that's because of the decisionsthat you've taken because of the actionsyou know and how you're behaved isresorted to where you are today and - tobe honest I'd love to sit down with themreallythen reflect on their decisions and whatthey're doing in their life to maketheir lives better yeah absolutelybrilliant so sadly that actually bringsus to the last question of the day andthe last question I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time and sciencefails to save us and all that is left isa book on a table and that book is aboutyourself it's about your life andeverything that you've accomplished inyour life what would the title of thatbook be and what would the blurb tell usabout you oh what a question the titlewould definitely be never give up hmmlove it so doesn't matter how hard itgets doesn't matter how many obstaclesget in the way it doesn't matter howmany people tell you that you can't doit just never give up because I can tellyou now if you just keep striving forwhat you want you will get what youdeservenever give up obviously that's amotivational thing it's something that'swhy people but when they turn it over Iwant them to understand the author alittle bit so what will it say aboutDonna I think it will say that I was avery hardworking forward-thinkingbubbly motivated person who at themoment even I just want to help so manydifferent people so yeah I just hopethat even just 2% of my energy rubs offon people and and I think like after thereal life event that we've had thisweekend the amount of people that cameup to me and said oh my god you've madethis weekend amazing because of yourenergy and your Drive and how positiveyou are and it really is buzzed me offI'm like I'll just feel like I'm oncloud nine now so yeah I thinkand that's the sort of lastingimpression I live on people and I hopethat's the lasting impression on peoplebecause that's what I want to do I wantto make people feel like anything ispossibleabsolutely I'm confident in well becauseI think your infectious you remind me ofa good friend of mine sunny yes we yeahwe both know sunny day I've not met I'venot had the pleasure it's a meeting yeahbecause unfortunately we've had torearrange a couple of meetings but yeshe's another individual I'm lookingforwardabsolutely it's just good to be aroundpeople who can lift you up especially ina world where there's always negativityflying around it's always good to bearound positive people yes just beforewe close the show I want to give themyou an opportunity to let the listenersconnect with yourself where would youtell him to come and find you yes oh I'meverywhere at the moment very quicklyyeah luckily because I've already got abusiness I know how it all works oh I'vealready got an Instagram accounta compass property investment I'm onFacebook compass property investmentalso under my own name Donna Marie Pegganyone can contact me there I've gotemail it can contact me for email soyeah everything's up and running andI've even bought my domain for mywebsite that will I'm sure be gettingset up within the next 12 monthsyes so I'm I know how to be out thereand in your face that's Brad becausethat's what I want I want the listenersto be able to connect to you so wouldyou say Facebook as a first point ofcourse yes definitely Facebook I do farmore on Facebook than anywhere else sothey can find me through my personalpage Donna Marie peg and it's open tothe public now it never used to be acompass property investment page whichis also activeit's got ongoing updates what projectsI'm working on I'll be doing live videoson their videos if the properties showyou how my build team are getting on andalso I'm wanting to use italso a little bit like a blog so youknow they so they can see what I'm doingwhen I'm doing it how I'm doing it andalso what things I'm coming up againstso because I'm hoping to use it as a wayof teaching others the you know this isthe problem I've come up against this ishow I've got around it this is what I'vedone these are the people that havecontacted this is the strategies are putin place so I'm also teaching people tothe things that I and the self and Iknow you've had problems along the waybut I hope that by sharing the problemsthat I've had it will allow them toeither avoid the problems or deal withthose problems head-on because they'vehad the information and the tools thatthey need to get past it really okay sowhat I'm gonna do is I'm gonna add allof those links and the Instagram which Inever knew about so I'll add that aswell in the challenge I'm standing hereon Instagram my compass propertyinvestment group because I was actuallylooking this morning I think it wasbefore we started this interview I waslike is she on Instagram and I wastyping in Donna I couldn't find anythingno made from memories so made frommemories are on there my keepsake bearsand my property I haven't got a personalpage because I think it's him back on tothe gym and fitness and outfitting it'ssomething I imagine to go into possiblysetting up a business aimed towardssingle parents so single moms singledads and giving them a place that theycan have no reason to not go becausethere's childcare in their package intheir membership package and I thinkthat's something that I'm going to aimwith my purse maybe set up a personalInstagram and you know build that uparound the setting of her gym PTsessions with mums single mums andsingle dads to allow them theopportunity to always focus on theirtheir health and their physical exerciseregardless of having children I love itas if you haven't got enough to doyou're gonna sellso everything else is being ran byeverybody else because this is what youdo you set the businesses or can youcome out of the business then it givesme the time and the freedom to do theother things that I love so muchno that's brilliant I think I certainlyrecommend sit in a pair a personal one Ikind of do the same thing I have apersonal one I have a property one Ihave a social enterprise or now I'vejust I had a podcast one is also it'salmost my job that's right yeah findyour voice podcast yeah fantastic I'llhave to follow you back straight afterthis Donna I just want to say a massivethank you for taking time out of yourday to share your story I'm veryconfident it's gonna inspire many manypeople and to the listeners at homethanks for listeningmy absolute yeah thank you very much forasking me I read and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a 5-star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 11 - My Little Spartan - Michael V Kalisperas #11Tagline: "Unleash your inner spartan..."Apologies in advance for the sound quality on my end. Technical issues certainly played their role. But in true spartan fashion we kept going.Michael Kalisperas life turned upside when his son was hit with a number of health conditions due to the neglect of a midwife. Sadly his beautiful son's life had changed which would have a knock on effect to Michael and his family.However determined to not let this get him down, Michael continued to take action and let his excuses be a thing of the past. Realising his own excuses and rationales to avoid doing the hard stuff are so insignificant compared to the battles his son, and daughter face on a daily basis he ensured he crushed his goals.A successful property investor, an author, a father and loving husband Michael story is one which touched my heart.I reached out personally when I first heard his story because he genuinely changed my whole perception on the way I view my life or sometimes feel about my own situation.I urge you all to ignore the sound defects, which I take full responsibility for and listen to this incredible man's story.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mikekalispera (Personal)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EffusiveMarketing/ (Facebook group)Michaels book: https://amzn.to/2RUZ7MS#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so it's very rare thatI will stop a podcast especially at theend of it just to kind of find out whothe individual is now I'm not saying Idon't get inspired or motivated bypeople but generally speaking I'm justkind of excited for the next podcasthowever on this particular occasion afew years ago I actually pause thepodcast towards the end of the show nowthe only problem was I still had therest of my car journey to go so I waskind of sitting in silence but it wasworth it because I really wanted to senda message to this individual who I'm nowvery grateful to have on my podcast andI sent a message out to Michael to kindof say thank you for the inspiration forthe motivation and more importantly Ihope things really do progress a littlebit easy for him I suppose in life andspeaking to him in this interview it'sdifficult to say how things got easierbut one thing I can say is that he'sattitude is still the same he'swillingness to just go out there andtake action and not be a victim of hiscircumstances is fantastic and that'skind of what this podcast is about it'sabout eliminating your excuses it'sabout pay with the cards that you'redealt with it's about literally thinkingokay this is what's happened now how doI change this how do I go out into theworld and really find my voice and kindof write my own story so I think I'mgoing to leave it thereI just want to say before it starts Idid have some teething issues with theWi-Fi so we actually have to do a zoomcore wherewhich was fine for videos butunfortunately some of the Sam when I wasediting it back wasn't quite as clear asI had hoped because I was using mylaptop speaker as opposed to my mic thatI'm now recording this intro with sohopefully you can bear with this becauseI think more important than the soundquality is the message and the storybehind Michael's life so without furtherado let's get this interview on the wayokay so I am here today with my courseobviously I want to say thank youMichael for taking time out of your dayand there how are you doing today youngI'm very well thank yougood stuff good stuff so I think it'simportant for the listeners to reallystart to understand your story fromyourself so if you could please explainhow you progress through life yeah sureprogress through life as it seems like aI'm 42 in them in literally a couple ofweeks time so it's February you know sonot long I'm gonna be 42 so other knowwhere to begin to go through the wholelife scenario but I've done quite a lotof things I guess I could go back toeven school where I would say I wasprobably not the best at school and notreally someone that was a you know inthese special sets as they call himbecause I wasn't really interested inschool I didn't feel the vibe at schoolI just didn't you know bond with theteachers if I'm being honest but my lifecompletely changed where when I went tocollege and you meet a different type ofteacher and different environment and itwas a bit more more creative more myfeeling you know what cuz I've alwayscome from a creative background I'vealways been like an artist as such andthen I ended up pretty much ending upgoing to to university ended up at deMontford University and doing them so wecall multimedia design and marketingbasically which was basically it wasmultimedia and I left there and a lot ofmy friends ended up in the 3d world fromfrom from those sort of forces and endedup her kind of like playing games forSony Playstation so I'm got a real whileyeah got really good friends I'm quitewell in that and then and I ended upbasically showcasing my work they theyasked for a few people to earnto showcase their work at an exhibitionin London I think it was the Olympia Ican't remember the actual name of thevenue from being asked me so many yearsago and it was a big place and and theyhad about I don't know six of us theshowcase our stuff so they picked peoplethat they wanted to showcase at thisshow and it was just like a sort of likegreatest show and Khaitan story short Igot a head hunted by my boss back thenCharla Crais for the BBC ended upworking at the BBC basically doingdesigns and websites for them and yeahwe touched on many many areas it waswithin a group of people as a lot ofthese companies are and so I was in thedesigner group and basically designwebsites ranging from Teletubbies tocrime watch Top Gear yeah yeah very veryvery very very varied set of you knoweven like you know History Channel maybewe've seen so it was really it was adepartment called fracture and learningback at the time I think they've got ridof the actual Department have somethingelse it's called a different name nowyeah and I was in and I didn't staythere as long as I could of I decided toleave I don't know what it was I comefrom originally London actuallyironically but most of my life wasbrought up in a small village calledMulford where they've got the movinhills and more than spring water and allthis kind of thing and it is a bit likehouse on the prairie kind of thing andas when I lived there I can't wait toget out and you know escape and get intoUniversity and all that sorcerer and andmeet people and but when you go to thelike concrete jungle and kind of thinkon what god what is this AZ yeah yeahit's kind of like we start realizing youknow my dad says it is well he lived inthem the most of his life I actuallycame over here with nothing I mean heliterally had no money for shoes heliterally came with nothing from fromCyprus and he started up and he's donewell for himself through hard graft andhe he said to me I will I won't go backto London even if someone pays me youknow younot because he doesn't like Londondidn't love it you just just just founda different vibe somewhere else simpleas that and I think for me it's the samefind different vibe I still go to Londonoften I'm going for five days literallyin the next day date in half I'm goingthere for five days you're going in outof business and meet people and you knowso yeah it's a it's I love it a littlebit but to live there it's a differentworld he's in itdifferent world I lived there bought ahouse on the outskirts of it was a waswell II did the Olympics actually nowreally wish I didn't sell it I ended upselling it because I got squatter's youbelieve that I so that's my first trueinvestment and actually that propertynow is worth about seven hundredthousand I bought it about 115 I thinkit was i sold actually actually i onlyhad it for a year and I sold it but Imade 40k profit in that point that's loque ya I can't complain and it was a butstill I can't complain absolutely mypoint of doing it in keeping up was Ialways I always thought back there Iused to watch location occasionally allthose programs and I always wanted tobuild my own house I just wanted mightget buy land above my house and you knowobviously working in London you knowyou've got to be pretty sorted you knowsign up and bloody you know 23 years oldor whatever was coming about what andyou know the reality is that to buy landin Londonabsolutely from some guy in Morphin youknowand yeah just bought that property nothe plan was to keep it butunfortunately got screwed over yeah yeahand I was kind of like I just lost thewill to live my eyes I have to get ridso yeah ventually got rid of them andthey trashed it as well because althoughI Franky refurbished it and they trashedit which was really nice of thembut hey and it's one of those and it I'mback in it now yeah back into propertywell I wanted to do it quicker if I'mbeing honest with you I bought my ownhouse back in Melbourne after I sold mymy house therebought my own house back in well whenthat was brick building you knowsomething come up whilst we're comingout of the recession a boy at therecession period which was the worstthing can do I look because I'm soparanoid I was stuck on a highfixed-rate back of n so back then whenrates were going down to ridiculousamounts I was on a 6% or something crazyand it was but it was high right at thewrong time but there was there's off atthis something there's nothing betterthan having a peaceful kind of like youknow as long as you can work bloody harddid all the hours of possibly do tocover it and literally you like workingand everything was going straight intothat pretty much but I truly believe youknow if you can get through the hardtimes that you know the green the greensgrowing you know absolutely is notgrowing yeah so no it was a it was worthit it was worth it and there's my myfirst house and I say proper house 5bedroomed detached properties in it yeahlots of people of them you know donethings with you know the great thingsbut at the time that was the right thingabsolutely how so some wonderful thingisn't it yeah absolutelyso that's took you back into property Iused still actively a property investorknows that where you kind of callyourself or ya know it's a bit weirdbecause I mean I think digress in thatlast question I'm I got back intoproperty after my son was made severelydisabled basically we basically had mybeautiful son bornVasili born completely healthy came homewith him completely normal and then amistake by the Midwifenot following certain procedurebasically ended up with a catalogue ofmistakes not just the Midwife we forgavethem publicly in the newspapers which ispretty damn hard to do because you knowthere was blatant mistakes I mean whenyou go to the report that they did itwas like there was several mistakes andit basically you know from having abeautiful child born healthy coming homeyou know healthy we've got a child nowthat's severely disabled trapped in hishot and wheelchair pretty much trappedin his body and declared blind deaf withspastic cerebral Z so I mean he's realcontrol is his tasteyou know and that was hard we were toldhe was blind to completely weave andsort of like therapy and all sorts ofstuff we research in America and and youknow not too long ago we had somereports saying that he's they put someprobes on his head and the reckon hecould see now and that really just aboutthat he was completely deaf but wepainful taking a decision while they'reyoung to put them through horribleoperations but but we put him through anoperation that has given him like therobotic sound if you know I mean so okhe's got something called Cochlear'swhere they kind of drill into the headthey put a magnet processor goes on thatand then they put some probes orwhatever goes straight down into thecochlea and now that goes back to aprocessor and so he can hear like andthe best way I describe it to people iswhy we've been described we've been toldit is Americans used to talk yeah that'show he can hear pretty much so he'llpick some things up certain spectrumsome sounds he might not be able to pickup but um generally you know but hereacts to me he knows me his mom heknows that's the love it definitelyresponses without that just give me anexample but the amount of light therapythey put on him is basically that youput it had he his blood was poisonedpretty much had to do platoons but theythe way they can sort of negate thatthat the increase of bilirubin whichhelped cause brain damage was put himunder the lights and they did that for alot of premature children actually butbut they put him under the lights and hewas that much under the lights that heactually looked like a black child andhe was you know you know at work witholivey skin but generally kind of whiteyou know but he look like a black childand you know I will never forget andI've got him on my phone I meanliterally I've just got him on my phoneand it's a reason to have a picture ofhim on my phone like this the reason whypeople think it's probably weird why doI have him as a screen saver as my childwith all these tubes in him you know uphis nose on his arms everywhere probeseverywhere and looking it's likecompletely you knowokay but the reality is I'm really proudof him that's why that's his that's hisdefining moment you know they survivedthat and no matter how much crap hashappened since in the last almost sevenyears literally I look at that photo andwhen I'm feeling it and I've had a lotof crap come on trust me within a lot oflocals when I'm really feeling thatthinking how dare I even complain youknow I complain this kid has gonethrough everything you know and hesteals your perception and killseverything that is your lifee absolutelyyeah yeah I'm even using that now on mydiet I'm on I want to call it alifestyle change a lifestyle yeah I lovethat change but I've lost like almost Iwas it I was 17 pound 17 stone - alrightand I put on weight free depression 17pounds - - and with just over threeweeks on and I'm I'm 1510 now so babyit's a big drop for a short period timeand that's because of him you knowbecause I just think I thought screwthis I can't I can't keep killing myselfabsolutely but it's a property yeah I'dsay I'd say that was my defining momentI needed to do something to help my sonand to have my family well we're inhospital whilst all that stuff was goingon with transit bills coming in neededto pay and what people don't show you isyou know obviously you don't have thesupport you know the supports maybe lateIran after a while a little bit ofsupport here in there so it's charitablesupport you know if you get a casethrough negligence then you get supportlater on down the linebut even then you've got support wherepeople assume or you know you thoughtyou got proper support your support soit's actually like that last night youknow I had about four hours sleep whichis standard now most people don't getthat they think that's weird but that'sstandard for us and like we've got withthree carry Shaw so you know my wife andI cover in that you knowI got full-time care 24/7 well he'ssupposed to Apple we've never hadfull-time 24 not for seven years it'sjust impossible it's just we struggle toget people you know what you get it it'slike it's like yeah unfortunately ourhome has become a business in terms oflike it's a care home you know but youknow what in the last year he's beenreally stable so you know it's taking alot more there's less hospital visitsand stuff like that so you know he'sbeen really really stable and you knowhe sees making massive massive strides Imean he was declared blind he wasdeclared deathwe know he can see now he's using on Iguess how much he can see we don't knowI truly believe it's with the therapy wedid with that research we did withChristine Ramon which basically involvedputting a torch in the eyes andswitching on and off watch the peopleopen and grow he'd never met a flinch totalk through the light and he couldflinch and then so at night me and mywife throughout the night with takingturns and just through four hoursyou know switched it has to be tungstennot a blue like they can screw throughthe eyes er it has to be like thoseold-fashioned boulders you know yellowones and yeah and you just watch hisbody so he's like my sergeant is I Irecite which open and grow grew andclosing and and yeah off and theneventually after months of doing thatonce I think is my wife in the in thebathroom she was he wasn't sleep andseals up with him and she was just doingit bless her persevering on and she'sjust called me and I'm not military wentin there and the lights were all off Iput the lights on and I put the lightson because you had a torch and hechanged the hell Wowand she goes let's see he did it to youas well I'm like wow that's crazyso ya know it's mine it's mine so isthat and then again he was fed throughthe tube and we retrained him through alike a milk bottle he couldn't move hismouth off he couldn't in his braindamage basically he's brain damaged butand we used to squeeze the teat you knowand then move his bottom of his chinwith our finger just dissolved so gethim into a sort of like you know any nowhe takes it takes food from the weekendfrom Holly is itit's it's been hard it's been hard manbut you know perseverance what can I sayand that's what it is and I think it'sdifficult because obviously I can'trelate to anything that you've gonethrough in that situation but using thatas an example so my foster siblingssay pastor Simmons there were initiallyfoster siblings we went through specialguardianship so three of my siblingshave had similar what's gonna call itdisabilities growing up as well so forinstance the older one he's got a mentalage which is less than half his agewe've got one who's on the autisticspectrum yeah and when they came into mylife a little bit which is why Iresonate with your story a bit is itchange my whole perception of life andeverything that I used to mourn aboutthe silliest things now I'm grateful forand I know you know we all sending outquotes every single day and we're alltrying this positive beacon of light butI genuinely had them within my followersas well similar to yourself and it'snear when I'm there feeling crappy orfeeling sorry for myself because I don'tknow the car tires flat or somethingsomething daft perspective but thesekids are finding them much harder battlethem then I'm having to fight and yesit's commendable because I don't want tomake this about property because anyonethat wants to know my calling propertiesnew fantastic and you've got podcastsout for that and you can reach out tohim afterwards but this is more aboutyou as a person who's taken this use youchange the perception you've dealt withthe cars that you are handed it's notfair I can't explain only thing anyonecan explain why weird out certain cardsbut all we can do is play with them thebest way that you can a new kind of Iknow you very quickly scaled up afterthat and maybe that's because your backwas against the wall I suppose and yeahyou spy on me I mean there's a myfavorite quote and I promote it in oneof my groups could effusive entrepreneurit's called it's from Jack London andit's a it's basically about you knowplaying a bad hand well basically yeahand there's an ace of cards you know aceof hearts on the card you can you canalways play a bad hand well and sobasically don't even if you you can dofeels like on them on the outside of ityou might feel like you're losing it'show you play or how you react to thatthat counts so example is in propertyis I mean add a commercial toresidential big oneI'm Birmingham it's 15 rooms in the endand it was my my first commercial and mysecond project in property and I prettymuch jumped the gun a bit but we haveeverything complying at us literally andit was really stressful and at the sametime as going through moments or likeI've been for my own health careproblems I was going through cancerscare myself and there's a lot going onobviously my son and you know dealingwith deal certain builders oh my godnightmare and getting things wrong andit was just you know massive learning wehad contamination issues we had we hadall sorts of problems just cracking onbut you know again look at my my son onmy photo on my on my phone and I talkabout my son but I actually used my sonas a metaphor for my family yeah becausemy kids that my children Ellie Maria twogirls they're just as amazing Maria forinstance she's actually disabled as wellbut people don't know it and she's gotsome good Zubaz syndrome where middlepart of her head the brains not fullyformed and really rare and it can happenby being sheared and my bum or I've beenshitty stressed at birth and it can beit can happen from genes and allsomething that it's not our genesbecause we checked them and you know itbasically she's got autistic issues shecould go blind that she grows olderbecause the protein doesn't protect hereyes and all this kind of stuff but shecould have been worse I mean apparentlythey're not supposed to have balance andcan't walk but she she fires us all Imean she was she was born and had wasshaken her lace and Eliza liked she hadnystagmus and head wouldn't stop shakingso she's trained a brain to you know toplanets her eyes and and she's learnedyou know to keep straight and she she'stalking to normal school she's doingeverything she's you know she's onlyfour or five now and she's doing reallyreally well and I she's got littletantrum tantrums but not doesn't quiteunderstand certain stuff but I mean I'dsay but now she's still more behavedsome children I know that haven't gotnearly so I classI think I don't sort of put out therejust because she's not disabled reallyyou know he is on paper but she's not sofor me you know it's almost like my sonwas brought there to sort of like helpus deal with the shit that's to come ifthat makes sense my thought was likethat and we didn't have no problemsbefore and all the stuff for theproperty stuff I don't I think whatwould have hit was hard but goingthrough sheer hell you know when my sonreally sort of prepared us a lot for alot of stuff oh it came I understandthat but I think sometimes it's funnybecause I don't wish anyone to really gothrough pain it's not yeah yeah but thatmakes me feel sad when I know people aregoing through pain but sometimes I feelpeople need to experience some level ofadversity you know not to really findfocus and change their life as well andas much as I'm trying to tell peopledon't wait for that wake-up call forexample don't wait for to find out thatyour child may need extra care forexample or you've been hit with theillness get out there and do it now andI suppose it's easier said than donebecause if nobody's having to live thelife Safe Routes that you've lived forexample yeah well like my siblings theydon't really have that agency my it'sfrustrating I get frustrated because I'mlike we are so blessed like beyond meanseven what we're doing now being able tocommunicate how we eyes Isis anythingyeah absolutely I mean there's so muchhorrible stuff out there in the worldand it's just you know it's crazy to youknow to to not be grateful for whatwe've got and and and you know when yousee people that are grateful whenthey've got little and we've all beenthere we've all been them in some way inour minds we've been at the greatest oflows and it could be from spitting outwith your boyfriend or girlfriendit could be splitting up with you knowyou know a JV partner I don't know thepoint a point is you know at that pointit could be serious the most absolutelow you know you could have healthissues cancer issues family there's allsorts we've had that as well in thisperiod and that n is it's not great it'snot great but at the same time you knowI've always said one of my sayings islike you know we will never you knowwe'll neverI don't get my words up today well we'renever given a Golden Pathit was never we never no one promised usanything you know and so and so like ifyou want something you've got to go andget it you either fail or you successfall you know and if you're successfulgreat if you fail get up and do it againand keep trying that and even if you'vegot no money or anything there's alwaysaway you know and you know what worstcomes to the worst I'm dying fromsomething it's if you've got your mindin the right mind and you think you knowwhat I was conceived that's amazing Ilived a few years that's amazing if youget your mind in the right mind youstill be grateful even when you're dyingyou know I mean and we've seen otherwitness people like that you know yeah Ilove that mindset you just touched onsomething and make sure we add it at theend of the show you've got a group youjust say yeah I've got I've got a groupit's called the effusive entrepreneurokay so anything about stuff like theseentrepreneurs is in the name but aboutyour mindset as well well it's actuallyI do marketing I do it mine only amarketing training and that's like alittle group I actually put more effortin my closed group which is people in myarm in a number the thing for me is likeI literally had a VA that was helping meout on that side of thingsand she literally went AWOL live justrandomly went AWOL and I don't know whathappened I really don't know but she'sfrom Philippinesit just went AWOL so yeah looking at adecent VA at the moment I think I foundonewe'll see how it goes but yeah now Ineed to push push put more engagement inthat group from being honest with youokay yeah I know it's a great group I'vegot loads of people about I think about300 people in the group yeah I doengagement but not as much as I likeI've got a couple of other groups havegot one called it's magnetic marketingsystem is another group it's justbasically a really secret one groupwhere it's just the people that I trainarm property marketing getting leadsabout business and all that kind ofstuff an investment it's a small verysmall group at the moment I've got a fewpeople that you guys know some reallygreat people successful people right inthere and yeahso that's going really well gonna beopen that up again soon um yeah justI've got my event in London that'scausing a lot of bloody Wow yeah my sonright that's marketing again it's goingto be we've got we've got a Khadija theapprentice star she's gonna be therewe've got a YouTube expert you know he'shelped Samuel Leeds get from 50,000 to150,000 something a lot you know he'stalking it's all about marketing it'sgonna be it's gonna be awesome and canfit about 480 people at the MarriottHotel in London it's my event bigpressure on me it's only 16th and 17thof March this year prices start at 97pounds but you get actually what we'redoing now we get got this programactually that I'm affiliated to andwe're going to be offering people freeaccess to this program which is you knowpretty amazing yeah any other ticketprices which basically covers theircosts on the bottom ticket easily andbasically they could create landingpages you know can forgive the emailsystem within it so if you want to buildyour own website that's the andtemplates in there so they get that forfreeI haven't launched it yet but you'veheard it here first on our I'm justgonna say you were saying your nervouslyI'm sure you don't need any moremotivation than just to look at yourphone before that exactly exactly thatmay be right yeah okay absolutely that Isee it I mean I guess that thenervousness is the fact that you knowit's a it's a big thing you'd love tofill it out you know you care about itcare about I've got 15 speakers and manycome from abroad there's people like youknow top and marketers making 40 50grand a month you know it's crazy but afigure of guy theretheir partnership guys and and and youknow it's yeah it's it's this pressureyou know but it's great it's great nowI'm like you know I'm one of these likeyou know it's easy for me to go easycoming to go you know what you've got totry these things what does Rob Moore saydon't the risk you know basicallyabsolutely yeah yeah I'm surewell yeah I'm so it's all quite a fewtickets not enough but we've only justlaunched so you know it's a it'ssomething we pushing out there lookforward to it make sure you mediainformation isafter this and I'll send you a signaturenotes it's automated I said it put a lotof people it's good for you know coachesanyone wanting to launch an event anyonethat's in marketing wants to do a bitmore marketing on their property and getsome really great bubbly gonna get sometools for itfantastic okay brilliant so you actuallydoing like more stuff than I knew aboutyou I know I know of course he's afull-time dad and I thought that wouldbe taking up all your time but here youare making your own events andeverything so another question then soyou're successful in what you've done interms of the property you're doing agreat job with your children and yourfamily so what's the day like from themoment you wake up tell you got like 17or yeah I bet I amI wake up about four or five in themorning right sometimes going to bedlate unfortunately but it's not mychoice no that's not by choice that'sactually by habit now that's initiallyit wasn't by choice now if I'm beinghonest with you the reality is I couldsleep a little bit longer but I've justit's just become me now if I can getsleep and I accidently sleep throughthat because all exhausted or whateverand and actually doing this diet it'sreally helping me so if my son doesn'tdisturb me and doesn't wake up and thatyou know I could easily go into 7:00you know easy yeah well it's it's justum it's just nice you know I actuallyget a good rest when I go to like eventsyou know you know so but my schedule isbasically get about four or five I Ialways turn ask me why it's reallystrange but I always always comedownstairs I eat a bananarandal cake I'm not banana manmy first thing I do a banana I go to myson I give him a really big kiss becausehe's exhaust get ready has his dinnerand he's get ready for his he's likespecialist school a given big kiss thegirls are still in bed and my son's lotobviously awake and then I start lookingat my schedule for the day I neverfollow it just to meokay he's organized work just look at ityes I'm aware of it because what happenswhen I start creating a website orlanding page for someoneor final for someone to help convert youknow get people to event or throughFacebook ads or whatever I'm doing forpeople I end up like getting engrossedin the computer and some way it's gonnabe supposed to be an hour it ends upbeing longer so so setting time becausefor me doesn't and and what I do is Ijust make sure I do the stuff and and Imake sure I do it at whatever cost andso I do I literally do that and I tryand mix it with the children like I havethe computer here in the living room momore often on by my bed upstairs on mybed believe in our it's not the bestcomfortable thing to do here because ofthe reception's better there you know abillion you get piece if the kids arekind of well-behaved watching TV I liketo kind of come here in that but if it'stoo noisy I just can't I just can't overthis I've got like a an outbuilding aswell that I converted for a trainingsuite and I've got an office there thatneeds a little bit more finishing offbut it's pretty much burn so I'm gonnastart and can start utilizing that morejust gets a bit cold I've got the heatis on there in that but it's like you gowarm it up for like an hour or so beforeand today I can't be asked you know justa lot stay upstairs on my bed and justdo my work you know not a great thing todo but now I've got a proper PT involvedwith my exercise we're gonna make itthat part of my schedule something to dothis year try and get you know not justuse the lose the the fat actually getsphysically more stronger and you knowgetting care scheduling for that atleast I think for me there's anything onschedule that I want to do I'm pushingmy marketing efforts because a lotpeople while so I've been my propertyjourney you know I've had a few podcastsand interviews and so on I've not reallypromote it'll push what I what I trainedin you know design and marketing and andI've had a few people approached me overthe years from property world and it'slike I've helped them massively I'vehelped people like were there you knowthey might have a 399 ebook and I makethem 15k within a couple of months injust Facebook ads butby promoting a book you know and it'sit's I know I'm good at what I do but Idon'tand III this is my biggest flaw I don'tlike selling I don't like selling andI'm one of rob mores mentors and I'vesigned up to his thing cuz I got reallygood at helping people value theirselves helping them realize their worthand he said something recently he saidhe said something about when people sayoh I don't need to sell myself I don'tneed yeah I don't need to sell myselfpeople come to me that's me that's meman I hate to admit it it's like I get Iget work it just comes to me right butactually imagine what I'd do if I shouldstart promoting myself you know leave itso much on the table yeah I'm leaving somuch on the table almost I almost don'tgive a crap because I'm designing my ownlife you know I mean yeah at the sametime if I really want to get to my goalmy goal is actually to eventually beable to afford to buy an Ironman suitfor my son some sort of give him theindependence thought we know that'sgonna cost millions and if I want to getto that goal at that you know at thatpoint then I'm gonna have to do betterthan this sort of like you know just youknow happy happy that enough workscoming my way and people using me thatway I think I should be you knowprofessionalizing myself a little bitmore and and valuing myself more to thepoint that I should promote myself it'sjust that there's a nervousness ofpromoting yourself I mean I think you'veprobably seen it amongst the the theforums and that people kind of thinkyour guru rising yourself or you knowlike oh god who's another personthinking a minute I had a businessbefore hello you know these peoplebusiness before and what you do inbusiness is you promote a market that'swhat you're supposed to do you knowthey're almost I allow myself to beaffected by other people's judgmentswhich you can't do even myself I mean Ipromote myself a lot more recentlyespecially in the last 12 months interms of like my own brand and me as aperson that initially was the hardestthing I've ever had to do and the wholepoint of like you need to know yourWorth and stuffwe were spoken to me I thinking one ofmy first jobs when I was young as aproject manager and my manager at thetime because I came out of meyou know when they ask you what'sspecial about you give three things asan icebreaker I was like nothing I'mjust I'm just me yeah he told meafterwards because he he listed like afew things that he found special aboutme and long story short he was that ifyou don't blow your own trumpet nobodyelse is gonna in this world because ofthe way the moment is and I don't knowyou always resonated with me and itstill took me the best part of seveneight years later on to real stuff I'mthinking if I can just do this and notreally worry about the engagement andkind of just be like look I've got amessage here I want to share it it comesfrom the heart it's honest if youresonate with it fantastic if you don'tnot a problem so it was difficult for usbecause they used to send it off andyou're kind of looking at your phonethinking what's gonna happen and nowit's kind of like I just Lars a andpeople ask me that how did you writecontent and I say I don't like reallywrite contact a kind of document like mylife kind of things like you've donesomething a property I'll speak about itif it's health and fitness I'll speakabout it if it's like an interestingmeeting I'll just speak about it andhopefully I always try and give peoplesome sort of tangible yeah informationthat they can take away I think youshould be that because I didn't know youwere doing all these amazing crazywonderful things yeah a bit here inthere I do you know I mean I'll get myflap out on flipping social media justto really put myself available to theworld you know that I'm gonna loseweight and I say I wrote i put a visionI put watch this miraculous journey ofthis of me this is anyway and I've doneit in three weeks already there's noultimate accountabilityyou know ridicules you that you're gonnabe it's embarrassinga whole lot the source stuff but at thesame time you know for the first time inmy life we have tried different dietssince what happened to my son I put alot of weight on the first time in mylife I'm facing it head-on so yeah ohyou and look at my fat mass yeah I'mhereabsolutely even my addictions and I callthem addictions because that's all I'veever eat and then it's like I literallyget urges for this stuff isn't my portmy secrets of this diet is I'm facing itand I call it the no BS lifestyle dietokay basically I put Pringles fizzydrinks and I've got a packet of Haribooutside of my bedoh no Quinn okay right and I sleep withthem by the side of my bed and I wakethat with the word webecause I had to face my addictions yeahyeah and it's a bit like that inproperty when people would like go totraining training training trainingtraining training training trainingtraining training the good mentors weresaying you got to do you've got to justyou know and and I you know I'm a coursedrinking I'm proud of it I'm proud of itI'm a course drunk eating for two mainreasons number one it's always good evenif you already know the stuff to go overagain it's good to get reminders rightbut number two and this is the biggestonementors need Mentors even if you'rewhatever level you are and all mymentors have got mentors themselves youknow I mean Nick James is mentorshipI've been under song azuki's mentorshipI mean Rob Moore's mentorship you knowthe reality is and I I mentor otherpeople myself yeah and I truly believethat you you've got to really be what'sthe word humble enough to want to keeplearning absolutely and there's a lot ofpeople that are arrogant and feel likethe only courses well good for you happyyou do not everyone wants to work thatway I actually love people right I lovenetworking I love people but I lovegenuine people that I've got integritythey're true to them certainly I reallycan't stand people that fake I hate itand I can sense them a mile away and andI always when I talk about marketing'sbe true to yourself just be yourself andpeople attract to you and a good friendof ours Camilla does the sa stuff Iwould say so namecan we look oh yeah she's exactly greatand I mentor mentoring in marketing aswell but it's usually just started to befair and and you know she's a reallygreat she's doing massive should bereally successful and she's doing it byjust being herself she's been brilliantyou know and you know we all learn offeach other I've learned a lot of Simon'suchi I've learned a lot of Rob more I'velearned a lot of Nick James you knowI've got another mentor that is you knowdefinitely need him because he's likehe's like a sales machine he reallyknows he's you know he's good he's got aproduct called open with a closingdoesn't do its Leslie it's just like youknow you want my product is I'm worththis much and you know so this is whatit is and he's named my Elwell reallygreat guy amazing guy getting hired bysome really top guys at the momentbecause he's easy really is you knowlegend or what he does and so yeah Iwant to constantly improve I want to beI want to be my ultimate self before Idie and I know more than a lot of peopleknow life it's bloody short manit really is severely because of yourexperiences yeah absolutely yeahyeah I think you touch on quite a fewthings with your whole I'm lookingforward to it but I actually lose 42pounds in seven and a half weeks myselfso what I want to do boxing never go tothe gym and I was a think was about 24at the time and there was like sevenyear-olds two ten-year-olds very cheekylittle kids and I'd to go for a roomwith him so I told the kids because thenI was all the way and I could I couldn'trun more than like 200 meters and all Icould hear him was saying come on oldman come on Batman and all these kind oflike really literally me facing it but Itook I took it personally I was likeI'll get you back and then with a loveworking working my ass off basically forthe next two months it really reallyhelped and there is no magic formula toanything whether it's property whetherit's health and fitness whatever it isliterally you just got to go and do itand then if you you learn a little bityou pivot I hope that's called it on myuncle my own podcast called Mike dropsget okay I guess my drop is call mineyet close and I've interviewed a coupleof a top level you know we're talkingreally high level guys in America mycalls another guy called les Evans and11 there's Evan said a thing to me hesaid he said um he said people thinkthere's an easy route to success butit's all hard work even when it doesn'tlook that way and he said even if you'repeople just speak in the thing they'rejust speaking they're successful fromspeaking andand he's brilliant at that is amazingamazing me he's gonna you know he's he'sadvised people in the White House he'sdone all sorts he's just bum a lot theguys absolutely legend and he's hadbecome a really good friend of mine andand he was saying to me you know Iremember it was on the lines of like Iremember when you said pedal stallpeople like that look big and famous andhe became himself but in the end they'rejust flipping normal people and whatpeople don't understand is that you knowthey want to laugh you know they want toget on you know they don't to be usedand and and there's a lot of truth inthat and there and there's a lot ofpeople do assume they also die theyconnected that way back I used to givehim a lot of my time for free and in theend I ended up blocking him and this iswhere you learn about time for money andit wasn't yeah it was like you everyevery conversation about a heart I'vetough your love to have your lives loveto out Matt me yeah I'd live in aflipping shed and have my son healthyyou won't want my life trust me it's notgreat but you know it's not as great asyou think it is you know and and it wasjust constant constant constant constantlike you know like MV and it wasn't thenice he wasn't moving forward is that Iwant to get 200 houses within two yearsand he was like really unrealistic yeahall right 10x it I you know go for ityou know I hate that comment that wordclinics it got you know I love whatGrant Cardone is about I just hate the10x it that side of it not because Idon't believe in it I believe in itit's just that I see if thrown aroundtoo freely now and and like by peoplethat could potentially really screwtheir lives over if they do try to 10xit you know and where they feel that youknow they've been inspired and they canjust rush ahead you've got to get theeducation in I don't care what you knowyou got to build the foundations he'sgot to build the foundations and andthen and then to exit first you know andthen check out what you know check out aflavor for it and then check out what Xmight be you know I don't like the 2xyou know I'm not doing us a great pointI think we're in thesociety obviously with the wholeInstagram highlight reels and nobody'sreally posting stuff that is like theirbad days of supposed and I supposedindirectly I don't know how but when Iwas getting a bit of traction in likethe property groups it was because I wasjust Oakley admit all my mistakes upsomething I was just documenting againlike listen I am probably the worst guya property talking three years ago I wasa look I made this mistake I've madethis and people resonated with that soindirectly actually helped 9% of thetime it is lychee everyone showing theirbest date on a highlight reel and Ithink we get that thing and then peopleread the secret and it's all thiswishful thinking and it's like listen itis goes back to what you said earlier doit do it you've just got to face it anddo it just exactly I mean madness you'respot on and the crazy thing is is thatI've been exactly the same I've donepodcasts and I've been honest juststraight on you know I'll straight upwith out loud you didn't want to hear itwe didn't want to hear it I'm like youknow and and cut long story short thethe realities that they won't value inmy time but I wasn't violent valuing itI can't blame them it's actuallysomething that I get a trouble from frommy wife so I'm always trying to help asmany people as I can so I'm alwayshaving these one-hour coffees that goingto like one and a half hours orconversation 15 minutes or less yeah andthen at the end of its like I've got notime to spend with my wife for exampleyeah because I'm just trying to help butthen most of those people they'll comeback with pretty much the same kind ofquestions or concerns two months laterhaving done nothingyou're almost yourself and I think I'msimilar to you in that respect which isthere's some great points that you madedays that I need to start my new my timea little bit there yeah not so much Iknow I need to charge for example it'son the faith basis that is this personreally going to do it and what I'vestarted doing as of the last two days istaking calls on the way to the gym soI'm like you've got ten minutes with mefar away I'll kind of give youeverything I've got I know it's workingokay because it kills that time to thegym so yeah absolutely yeah it's noteating a weigh-in time that you which isvaluable time is valuable time time I'vesaid entire book emergency we have youknow in the lane if if if people don'tvalue your timemmm bug you you spell as I and why workwith people that don't value you they'rejust picking and sponging your brainbecause they can't be asked again spendthe money on the courses and theeducation and or go through the grit inthe action that you've gone through inthe pain that you've gone through theyjust want to just you know squeeze yoursponge brain and get all the bloody Evoout you know those people it doesn'tmake us a you know this is not a youknow I'm holy than now I'm perfect I Iknow my share you know this has justjust been honest with the situation youknow so I absolutely love helping peopleI really do it's just some people justdon't value your time enough so okaywe're gonna change gears a little bitwe've spoken about adversity which isone of the main drivers like in yourlife and I don't wish it on anyone to gothrough the same kind of stuff but weall go through something what I wouldask you though is a different questionis about fear so it's probably a commonquestion but I want to know what is yourbiggest fear but I want to stop and takeaway what I think he's gonna be yourfirst answer from doing some Daryl Browntactics here so you can't mention youryour children or your wife in thisscenario but what is your biggest fearas as yourself my biggest fear formyself is not accomplishing my dreamsokay and my dreams are actually yes theyare to be able to get enough money toafford certain things from my family andI'm not supposed to mention them but myactual my dreams are to actually besuccessful and proud enough to know thatyou know that boy in school that was atloss was crap had to have extraeducation was themedyou know classes dyslexic really smashedit regardless he's not I mean and and soyou know for me to start that wouldreally be probably my biggest fear stophim from for me I really I really wantto get aspire to inspire is what I wantto do right and the way you inspire isby doing great things and and thosegreat things could be I give a lot tocharity myself I donated just over fourthousandpounds Christmas do recently you knowand and before that I've donated loadsand even my book my little spot and thatI've written for my son all the all themoney from that including the cost ofmaking it which most people don't dothey has gone to different charities youknow everything wasn't a lot you knowbecause these costs of these profitscarry yeah yeah and even before thateven you know I've just constantly youknow every year given in some form tocharity and the point is this like it'snot because I'm you know I want to beseen as you know are what passive and uhand people that know with me will knowthis is true so I could be a propertymeet in and we're walking up the roadfor me laughter and I'll just givetwenty pounds of baby homeless man Idon't record it I don't you know butpeople that would mean no it yeah Idon't do it for you know I know inLondon wherever I am if I see someoneI'll donate and you know and I don'tcare if they're they look like they'redruggies well it's not at the end of theday I because I'm not gonna judge youknow they can do what the hell they wantwith ityou know I want to give if I've got ityou know and if it helps them it helpsthem I just get I don't need to promoteit or anything that but the reality isalthough ironically there's a promote inthis podcast estrangement but honest islike where we're and it's just merelyanswering your question you know my goalis to aspire to inspire to inspire andif I can do that for my kids and otherpeople and great you know and and if itmeans like you know giving when youhaven't even got it and I've done thatand and you know it's like then you knowyou do you leaving some sort of trail oflegacy wait wait people might notremember me you know but you knowsomeone might you know yeah I don't knowbut at the end of the day it's strange Ihaven't made haven't made it in in mymind a successful property developer ormarketing agency in my mind I've got along way to go but I'll also at the sametime I don't want to have a lot you knowI want to be comfortable I don't want tohave like the two hundred thousandliving rooms and whatacquiring to do well you know I reallydon't I don't envy people like that whenI see people doing well I'm like good onyou I'm yeah I really I never had thejealous I never I just truly think goodon you the ones I don't like are theones that do it and they're they'rehorrible assholes you know I mean thesepeople win don't they yeah yeah okayfantastic no I know that that makessense I think I'm very similar as wellin relation to what you saying there andjust on that analogy song I've had goingoff on a bit of a tangent here peoplewho are quite charitable but they'llnever give to somebody who maybe theyassume is gonna have alcohol and drugsor something and my philosophy hasalways been I mean growing up and theway my mom's always talking is just givewhatever you can give but and the baseis that maybe maybe your donation thatthey will just change that person'sperspective or life and providing you'renot just throwing it at home and maybeyou can just give it a try contact willhave a good day or something so I justgive him that lift that they need alljust to keep him going for another dayso I'd always urge people whatever youcan give this absolutely give but yeah Ican't imagine you being somebody's gonnabe taking a selfie while you're doingthat I mean and the truth is I should beyou know utilizing it for you know butat the same time it's it's not itdoesn't sit rightyou know it doesn't sit right so you'veheard the buzzer it's going off so whatI'm gonna do now is but Mike with threespaces for the next 60 seconds and he'sall I do basically whatever the firstanswer comes into your head please giveme that one and you ready mate I'm coolI'm ready okay we're gonna start inthree two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame fame singing ordancing singing Netflix our YouTubeYouTube Marvel or DC are Marvel easilywould you rather know how you were dyingor when you would i how love or moneylove books or movies i love booksactually if you could sit with oneperson in the world for an hour whowould it be I would love to sit withDonald Trump to figure out why the helllooking weird andgo ahead going on I just I'm justperplexed and also kind of yeah it's aweird onethat we interested yeah you're worse bea growing up fighters actually okay andfinally what is your biggest addictionmy biggest might what was my biggestaddiction was slight wrinkles and yeahwrinkles my biggest addiction at themoment is learning junkie for learningand just some Pringles because I'm aPringles fun as well what's yourfavorite cocktail sorry I don't get methinking the next one's on reflectionyeah we've spoken about this earlierwe've spoken about hindsight being awonderful thing how you can teach you toget to where you are quicker easier orwith less heartache for example butknowing what you know now and with yourlife experiences and obviously yourmindset now if you could go back to atime maybe when you were younger maybegoing through college or school and youcan just whisper something in your earknowing how life would pan out for youand just to kind of maybe motivate orinspire that young Michael what wouldyou say I would say you're able to doanything you put your mind to because Ireally believe growing up because I wastold it you know my teacher I didn'thave a good attention span and myteacher must teacher said to me ohyou're gonna end up as a glassblower shewas old fashioned herself and mostpeople didn't really kind of connectwith her if I'm being honest with youbut that really thought I thought whatthe hell you know kind of thing to saythat just because I you know and Iwasn't interested in her lessons I justwould and again it goes down to what weread in property marketing people couldbe connected you know whatever you do init's about attention and connectionright you've got to get the attention tobe noticed and you've got to connect soif you're going to get an investor tocome to you you've got to get theattention you've got to do that one wayor another and then you've got toconnect and you can only connect bybeing you because long term wise youknow it's a marriage you know it'ssimply that absolutely and it's theeasiest thing to do be yourself ratherthan trying be someone else off man donot have some music but I see people mygod and I just cringe and I know that itmakes me cringeI see people they've been II won't even touch into it too much butthere's people that mean there's aparticular person that's training thesame people when they're like they'refollowing the same moves and everythingin their acting the same as this personexactly in every way and it's a it'ssquiggly it's creepy and windy it is andthe problem with it is as well if you'recopying somebody else you're almostrelying on them to do something you knowthe few to follow see as a policy if youjust make your own journey and writeyour own story I've got one thing whereI've got respect for these people that'sall for helping them is they've alreadytaken a step at least they're gettingthemselves out of the shell and they dosomething but but seeing exact copiesit's just yourself yourself it's likehave you ever seen those live videoswhen they're sat there quietly for likeflipping five minutes I'm like I don'tlike it I just it's just great I'm likeI just talk shit for a bit I say topeople okay just talk shit wait topeople come on[Music]and that's not always like to ask myguess is if in 150 years time and youare no longer here but all that existsis a book and it's about your life andsomebody's walking past and they pick upthis book what would the blurb say andalso what would be the title of the bookwell already written it it's called mylittle spot on the globeit says embrace your struggle to findyour strength and pretty much what wetalked about today and and I it has asub heading saying unleash your lip in aspa and because we've all gotten in thispart and and what I mean by that it'snot a judgment thing on Spartans andwhile it's just the fact that you knowagainst the odds it's a metaphorit's against the odds they know they'regonna die but they're fighting all theycan yeah and that's the point at the endof the day we're all gonna freakin diebut let's just see what we can do youknow that's all we can do but you knowyou know the end of a that's why I don'tmind helping people as much as I canbecause that you know any bit of helpyou get out there is whatnice absolutely Granta our future looksalready out yes my little spy Amazonyeah best seller internationalbestseller there you go is it oh wowyeah i 100% put that in the bottom ofand the show notes as well alright it'sactually the first time somebody'salready answered my question and done myquestion but what I always like to askpeople is there is somewhere they cancontact you now I know you're doingamazing things all over the world innetworking marketing property you're anauthor as well there's one place and I'mjust gonna limit it to one but I willobviously add everything else afterwardswhat is the number one place that you'dprefer base for Facebook Facebook I'm 5mI'm maxed out sorry guys so just listenI've got another group page good MichaelV Calais Paris just a baby bear I'd bethere and start using it more nowbecause I'm that's my that's my ownthat's my professional page so just wantthem on to Michael V or try and messageme on on on my one at least and I'm nottry and connect and brilliantly it'sbeen a absolute pleasure like I said atthe beginning I reached out to you longtime we don't know yeah I love yourstory you know that this is fascinatingpromise there's live calls on them youall get busy I haven't managed toreconnect there so and thank you foryour time today you've been doingawesome things as well okay it's good tosee and again like you know we reach outto people that we connect with and likeand so on and you know obviouslyresponded back to you because I knowlike and trust okay you know it worksthe same way you know yeah that's how Isee it and and that's how that's howrelationships grow that's how investorsget involved that's how all this stuffhappens you know it's it's all aboutthat you know so absolutely absolutelyspinning it's been an absolute pleasureand well as well thanks for listeningand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa 5 star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 9 -"We came with a suitcase & a dream" - TTagline: "We came with a suitcase & a dream"Uplifted from Zimbabwe T and his family chased the American Dream for a better future.T puts this perfectly when he explains the silent example he learnt from his parents to be a driving force in his life - hard work. Coming from extremely humble beginnings T knew his best chance at changing his own future and that of his families would be to work harder than those around him.Unable to speak english and ridiculed early on by children and undervalued by teachers T began to embrace hard work and the struggle finding true beauty in outworking those around him.Now a successful social worker, bodybuilder and an all round great guy T's future is brighter than ever as he seeks to help inspire others and teach them to never let anyone elses opinions dictate their ceilings of success and to always embrace hard work.T also speaks of the oppresive lifestyle he was part of growing up and the struggles of learning a new culture, language and fitting into society. However having studied closely with T for 2 years there are very few more genuine souls I have come across.I urge you all to support and follow his journey...Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Snapchat: CatchafreemanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion4lifting/Transcript:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's guest is somebody who I metabout four years ago on my social weightjourney so yesprior to me starting property businessand coaching I was actually a socialworker for a very very short amount oftime but about two weeks ago t reachedout again and he was commenting on oneof my earlier episodes and how he foundit very inspiring and then he asked ifhe could be on the show of course wasthe answer but I was intrigued becauseknowing T at university during our twoyears studying a masters he was alwaysthe one in the class that would makepeople smile he was always smiling yetsomewhere deep down I knew there wassome element of struggle some level ofadversity that he had been through butyou could never guess what it wasbecause like I said he was always theone that would make all our classmatessmile he was always easy come easy gohe's really getting stressed and he wasjust a pleasure to be aroundso when he offered to share his story Iwas intrigued because I knew there wasgonna be something that was going to beinspiring and motivating and he didn'tdisappointthis episode was fantastic one because Igot to see my good friend again but twobecause I realized how lucky andfortunate I am and probably many of youlisteners are too so I think it'simportant we jump straight into thisepisode and listen to what he has to sayand really understand that sometimes thegrass isn't always greener on the othersideand that we do actually have anunbelievable amount of things to begrateful forokay so I'm sitting here now with mygood friend T so if you could explainactually firstly how you doing not seembad might not see where I'm glad to behere goodness doesn't he answer that Icompletely forgot to ask him how he wasso I think it's important for thelisteners to you understand a little bitabout your journey and how you progressthrough life so if you could just startfrom I suppose your first memory I kindof let us know the life of T of Katonahokay that's all right mrs. IND thinkingme you know I don't usually speak I'mnot so good at speaking but I know theend of this if I can inspire this oneperson great that's my job here done andI come from very very very humblebeginnings well I say that I'm still I'mstill here humble beginnings now I'm notmade it yet but we are making progressmy parents my mom moved here in 2003beans involved in bad way yes yes andyou know we came here okay with asuitcase and a dream it was a case ofthe economy was on see a great overthere so before you know I yeah what'sthe next big thing and you know this wasthis was their two children at the timeand like most people I found out foundout that working hard was the way totheir you know American dream so tospeak yeah yeah anyone can sayabsolutely um you know the first lessonsthat I want C to share with you guyssome of the islands from a parentshadn't moved here is that you knowyou've gotta work hard you have to workcuz I grew up in a house where you knowI was watching my parents work day inday our worst and continue to work hardday and night to make sure that me andmy sister would not go with the help youknow they were breaking their backs andfreed out I said I had a front row seatin learning you know a hard work I waslike takes yeah you know start from thebottomremember back home there had reallyprestigious jobs but the KVN had tostart from the bottom literally start atthe foundation level okay okay so can Ijust jump in there so yeah back home youhad prestigious jobs was it still notenough in order to fulfill the dreamsthat they had I'm glad to think thatthey probably did it with us in mindokay because the way that the fins wouldgo in I reckon if they continued workingthings would have been okay for them butthen by the time you came to us growingup and working things might not be sogood for us you know something they hadus in mind to build our futures becausewe were gonna have better opportunitiesthat make sense here and you know somepeople choose that's why you see there'sso many people now I'll try that riskingtheir lives day in day out trying to getto the UK or you know these thedifferent countries in the West cuzopportunities are there that's been athome yeah we don't know how lucky we aresometimes we don't and we take thingsfor granted even take things for grantedso it's so easy wake up sahaja lotta Gbut there's someone diapers opportunitythat we wake up every day as well youknow wake up every day dream someone'sdying for this you know yeah we're moreabout our jobs and what we spoke aboutis actually yeah and it's that thing ofwe take things for granted man you knowanyway I digressI'm saying I had a front-row seatwatching what it really takes to be ableto drive but you want an understandingfundamental that in this country you cangive anything you wanted if and only ifyou're willing to make the sacrificesand pull your socks up like I saidpeople are risking their lives trying tosneak and use the abundance ofopportunities that were presented withso the lesson I want to convey to youguys today is that there's nothing morepowerful than that Silas example and forme that sounds example was my parentsthey never told me that you know when wecame here absolutely this is whatyesterday we were just watching yeah Ijust had to watch all thinking okay youknow yeah weekend that is working in mymom is working you know we're justwatching that work as powerfulthere's a quote and I think it saysdon't listen to what they say watch whatthey do and that's what it is and that'swith anything in mind because you get alot of people are just talking the talkand stuffsounds great we really if it soundsbefore the action yeah it's the actionthey can talk it you know gay men butwhen it comes to doing it's a differentstory and for me from that is where Ilearned that parents as parents and myparents yeah but as parents be afraid tolet your kids watch you fail or watchyou start from the bottom and watch yousweat cause we taking inspiration comesevery day we learn Oh strong strong workethic I think that's I think that's apowerful lesson because one of them likeI said to a lot of people my superpowerI believe everyone's got a super fine Iuse that as an analogy or metaphor is Ijust work hard that's itI don't have anything else good I'm notnaturally more talented at somethingelse but I will most likely I work mostpeople because I've seen my mom do itI've seen her with 90 hours a week whenwe were growing up I used to see heraround I'm thinking where's momand it should come from breakage thatgetting changed into our next - she'sback after work yeah and I'm not talkingabout later I'm talking Saturday SundayI'm talking in the six weeks holidays Ithink that's really important I think weshould set an example of the real lifeand not trying to hide things for mykids that's it in order to try andprotect them because actually you couldactually giving them a good thingthere's no such thing as an overnightsensation no such being people you haveto work you know some people are luckyenough to be born in rich families andwhatnot but majority of us we have towork her way upmm-hmm and for me I'd like to say that'sprobably one of the best solid examplesof my life and that's made me who I amtoday because it's me you know yeah I'mnot gonna be product of my circumstancesand I'm gonna be so the master of mydestiny I'm saying that now but backthen it was not like that in the sensorfor example you know when I first camehere I came when I was about 10 yearsold started in year six I'm going toschool not knowing English that wellbecause English is the second languageokay but we do not have to speak it atmuch because we don't need sing ofcourse you know we just have good lessonEnglish enoughso came here and yes 6 min imagine youknow trying to learn English we werepretty much I remember going to schooland those big clumps of bacon and thenthe cheap of the cheaper version is thecheap version because it's not littlethin slices we employ us how would youwant that was a big chunk you say seelaughter retired my gosh but it'sbrilliant because again this is what itwas my character the clumps of bacon youknow wake up in the morning she madebacktry as possible wait you could imagineit was not easy trying sliced bacon asyou put it on that sound good share I'llget to school so I said I do not knowsome of the things that were deemed tobe normal in this country sometimesfrowned uponyeah so break time think I'm a baconsandwich you know remember I rememberhim to Clete onto the bread so hard toprevent the whole me good biteyou know yeah I remember sometimes we'dhave pizza it would have Pete certainlyand I'll bring they left all this nicebox at my Lodge for school Broco Pizzahe and I did not know that this was notthe into the normal button but you knowit was tough for my sisters there shewas younger she started by ryaba starsquare one she couldn't speak that couldbe English as well so we kind of justhave each other have to try and you knowI remember sister go home she'll betrying to read a book to try and learnyou know English I should be holdingthat book upside down you know you juststart I would love a cokebacon sandwich for those kids don'tlisten Island kids kids are cruel yeahyou know meals kids are cruel that's whythere's so much bullying in school rightnow it's only now right now oh no waitif I have to you know go to work withthis is all right this is okay cuz now Idon't put down anyone's approval I'm inthat stage now where certain people'sopinion if it's not constructive itdoesn't bother memoving on then we went to secondaryschool obviously were picking up Englishyou know it's improving improving thelanguage just getting back there so weget to school yeah do the sets in younine I did okay consideringyeah ten will do GCSEs okay no yes Iwill do you mock GCSE means encore theseare marks and - seriouslyBastille did well in them then Iremember there was one Paris eveninggoes one parents evening news in theirparents evening actually my parents werecold from school and the teacher saidcan you kiss community discussion yourson is underachievementright okay like I told your son ispredicted to come by the end of GCSE isto come out with four C's with thiscoming from you know I'm doing well inessence I'm always you know and canimagine you know in my house we'd sayeducation very seriously and it's notjust my house is probably across themost African families most Africancountries cause in Africa education isnot free you know here privilege is aprivilege is a privilege that manycannot afford I rememberat home kids will be sent out fromclassical definitely see theHeadmaster's office or go home if you'venot paid the school fees cause somepeople simply couldn't afford so youcoverton so imagine you come into thiscountry metal education is free andyou're messing about yeah you're nottaking advantage of the opportunity thatis presented to you witness others athome or dying for this opportunity andwhen if they are to get it they wouldflourish in you know you know can weimagine they were really disappointeddo not happy it was a case right you'remixing about you don't take a schooleducation seriously from now on there'llbe no going out no playing out if youwere to play outside you know I wasacting all playing out during the weekanyway I was very impressive on theweekendsI was allowed out on mainly just theSaturday if his Sunday so a couple ofhouse I was allowed on Saturday butbefore I did that I had to do you knowthose PGCC books yeah I had to docertain number of pages of them before Icould go out and I had to get it rightand I used to think why they doing thisto me why me you know all my friends athelp then when I did go out I don't haveto care if you have to be 4i either sixor seven even some other stars blazinghot at 7:00 p.m. you have to be able toseven I don't think it's himself why arethey doing this to me why me you know Iused to moan about it wasn't impressedbut then it's funny now when I go backbecause obviously at that age you knowmore than your parents don't you anotherthing that you know yeah but what I dothere now and the kind of people thatwere staying out so midnight what theywere doing to midnight I'm not comparingmyself to them I'm just saying I'm gladthat my parents did that I'm glad thatthey did that for me becauseso for me as well if I was one of themkids someone invited prison some of themare just doing all kinds of business youknow anyway absolutely predictions Ithink that is an important point thoughthat we should stress because I was thesame so I went to tip it up which iswhere you live now I think I still livethere and I had like best friends andyou think you never gonna get friendsbetter than this and I want to go toThibodeau comp and at that time I wasdoing well academically so my parentswere like okay we're gonna send you togrammar school the helis grammar schoolthen I found out he was all-boys schoolbut that way he's going through pubertyexciting to find the opposite sexattractive and I was like here I go toan all-boys school and I went and Iresented it I resented the decision forages I'm gonna hate it but in hindsightsimilarly yourself now that got me intoa very good university even what mygrades weren't great because I had thatmy CV it also taught me a lot about howyou should conduct yourself in certainsituations not all of it was positivebut also been there I've got some of mybest friends and I'm talking aboutfriends you on the right side of the lawokay when I look back at if I'd runtv.com and I look at my friends therethere were stabbings there was prisonthere was drugs with the community thatI grew up with so I don't know would Ihave been brave enough with and steppingaway from friends who have grown up withor what I've just got involved in that Idon't know we'll never know but I'm kindof grateful that I went my way and lifehas brought me here so yeah Paris Ithink they always try to do the bestthat they know but at that time youdon't see oh man angry I mean they nevereven played football there and as a kidI was like a hotshot footballerapparently and I've got to defeat everyall my dreams I'm kind of crushed inthat moment yeah but then also somewonderful thing and now I kind of thinkyou know what actually my life isn't toobad and I suppose it's perspective andit's a age and as you grow you can youcan spin anything I suppose in a goodway that's and yeah sorry continuewell in that sense I think it man soclose so close you know we are ta 11 wedo GCSEs I come out with two A's B's andC's yeah I don't know how much that Ihad to do with all the extra homeworkthat I had to do because of that meetingbeing cold but I saw so smug towards myteachers thinking oh okay there's yourfour C's you know we came from Revere ohyeah yeah you know that figure ofputting their limitations orexpectations on me you know not pickingI love me yes okay great this was it forme I think actually today today bestachievement I worked hard for thatplease repeat in a school of how manypeople to be the top and you know beanother one from where you start exactlythat's the thing as well Stan journeyknowing you know came here barely beingable to speak a word of English and nowhere I am being told you're the examplestudent you know that was big for me andthat's why to this day is still one ofour biggest achievementsthat we call to college to a-levelsdoing a-levels breaking those I don'tknow teacher see you because doing thehub behaves on son who's come a bit of ajoker yeah sometimes I like to say ajoke sometimes might be inappropriatetimes when I like to crack a joke aboutthis has been interviews where they'regoing to just cracking jokes yeahprobably cause ya know the swamp andsemen college where my mom comes infriends dad came in as well and Iremember as we're going out he was goingout my mom was coming in so I'm stillmom kind of knew what to expectyeah and in there it was some kind ofexactly what the predictions were but itwas no great again he was no quoteshe was no great January exams so youknow that's Jennifer Connelly Wingate'scaucuses in January exams like threemonths either one now and I rememberthere was a law exam I was ready to gosee I thought exam was a 2 p.m. orsomething I don't know what in my mind[Laughter]anyway so you just told me you knowcheck what time you exactly hmmand this time is about half nine whenzone was at 9 o'clockyeah you know I had breakfast heaven orbreakfast yeahso we get to school and we get tocollege which is about half an hourdrive on a good daythis one's not good dangos of the snowobviously so I get they have a half tenand there's about an hour of the examnext is going to be a two and a halfhours I'll run for itI'm not oh please I'm going to be nakedno exam can you please let me go and seethe rest of the example you know cannotrestart it about two hours now and thenI why are you late that's odd the busbroke down those are all round chaos -okay we the only student from thisCollege in that bus yeah but you onlysee the last best results came out I'llgo ahead de you yeah I got a de you auwas a mystery yeah I didn't think I didthat bad but boy come one hey you herewe go again you know I'm gonna go homehow do you go home the best thing to doyeah so there's no nasty surprises whenI get home my parents just know I was ina school dayyou know hopefully bugs ever get homeyeah Judas thank you lot of except tothe end you know it's like go home gethome and again it was just a case of youknow yeah this time there was no rightten is your life your life you do whatyou want is worse that I got me man yeahdisappointment is worse than that guyI'll probably get shouted midair don'tgets around disappoints in the human soI was thinking some stuff okay so I hadto pay for the reasons are my own moneythen resutsI go in a b c in the receipts in thesummer which was great because wafflewas a leg was really the same as he saidJesus is we can revise two weeks beforeGeorge I know Chauncey and so I learnedthe hard way I'm sort of sure in the endI got a BBC fantastically end of the ADAwas which was great which can set me onthe path to unique University and I wentto university went to Manchester did myfirst degreeyou've Community development's it wasgreatenjoyed it then I went on to do somework related to that words and fate ofpeoplemmm-hmm and it was basically aorganization which would be young peoplewho were born HIV and I would like tosay that it's probably the best thingI've ever done in my life imagined jobwise and satisfaction wise cuz you knowyou're making that positive impact onpeople's lives and having said that youknow I am gonna keep jumping back andforth wine yeah I know that start thepodcast was all discussed growing up inthe house were you watching peopleworking hard know what we know this jobin age of fourteen I remember it was apaper round for the local newspaper inthe area and it was about 350 newspapersevery Thursday in November I wake upfirst thing in the morning Wednesdaynightsfirst thing first day morning do about150 use maple before going to schoolcome back get rid of schoolgo to school come back home till eventhe rest of the newspaper sometimes yousaw spit into the Friday as welldepending on how fast there wasn't onenothing and again it was that thing oftrying to get that good work ethicinstilled in me from a young age as wellso once I was you know in college I wasworking as well yeah I was working themin has to be like you know you do themath I was pissed at it see then when Imoved to Manchester also a conventionsee like I do that by state authoritiesgonna work like Clark's and I moved backhome yeah because the other guys I wasworking for they lost their funding andthey had to close down and I'm thinkingman was next because I've got thisdegree but I know that the job prospectsare not great a ride wasn't Mickey Mousedegree and I think you know go back I'mone I've done the same onemaybe frequently that prospectus was abig t fast yeah you know he's just acase of Social Work socialized the nextthing for me that's what and that's whatwe met that's what we meantI remember the first time I see thisSocial Work and being in social workerswere working in and it was back then andI remember it was a case of alsodifferent different environments andthey you need to remember you workingtogether differently when I did myundergraduate it was a case yeah yeahhere the Masters is the case of yourhelp me help youof course and I think I've seen more usis amol that's the big man that's thebig and it was a case of my it was notjust asked he was pretty much the wholebrain sleep everyone just worked so wellto confessand we try to make sure that if someonedid not was not doing so well we try topull them up why didn't his doing thisyou know centrist instead of myosinpowerful is this you know yeah who'sgreat and again it's that thing of forme that's where I experienced real trustI mention your colleagues because I'venot known anything like that before Ithink I'm the same but then there's afew things that that one age willprobably or everyone's had a degreebefore so you wise up a little bit but Ithink also it's a testament that peopleare going to become social workersbecause you guys who are keep in touchwith here and there through that what'sup yourself a little bit more to be asocial worker wanna become a socialworker you've got to be a different kindof person I believe you've gotta havethat level there's gonna be something inyour heart that makes you want to helppeople so the reason you will start thatjourney together was we want you to bethe best I'm socially in the world andchange the world so if we call after ourpeers who are on the same path as usthen that's saying something about yourpersonality and there's nobody on thatcourse I can think of who did that weall literally just held each other upsomebody would tell me what my choicelike come along with me and I love thatcommunity like so yeah you know I havingsaid that you having said that you knowyou said you have to be same kind ofperson to be a social would you besurprised you know bro really there'ssome people that you see I don't thinkit wait you know you'd agree yeaheveryone was great I'm sure thateveryone was great as well as you think[Music]but then when you get in the job thereare some people that you think wherewere you and the cool so becomedesensitized orHuracan people do become desensitizedand sometimes i know that we found thisout that the job is not what we expectedit to be yeah so I think that's probablywhy some people serve turn out to be acertain way whilst on the jobyeah um you know we do the masters andnow you know I'm I'm working the jobworking the job and it's going okaybasically from my story in main thingthe hours of convey is their thing ofother people's expectationsdo not let people's expectations of yourother people's limitations in you becomeyour reality doctor so you know ifsomeone's a sense EE you know yeah youdo so well I don't think you're gonna beable to do this you know that's theirexpectations that doesn't mean it has totranspire it to you absolutelyand sadly it does sadly in some cases itdoes cause a self-fulfilling prophecyyeah if you didn't shout that the badbelievin that they're bad you knowthey'll probably start behaving it'sthat feeling of staying in your own laneI think that's really important people'sopinions they're all facts it's justtheir belief and again their beliefisn't the truth is their truth it's notin fact and I think I've learned thatthe hard way because a lot of stuff I'vebought off for trying to do was based onother people's opinions and I just thinknow the most important opinion is theopinion of myself I mean in movie youhave to it sounds it sounds weird as agrown man and he stays thinking I needto start to look at myself I need tostart valuing myself because somewherealong the journey I stopped doing thatand the way I would I suppose look atmyself what I do myself was based on theopinion of other people whereas now it'slike each Australian if there's a fewpeople in my life who their opinionconcerns me because I respect them and Iwant them to think that I'm doing a goodthing but other than that it's reallyabout myself and that's why we touchedon prior to this episode time why'd youstop that self-talk every morning andhave you stuff that empowers me ratherthan brings me down because a lot of usthumpings get out it wasn't actuallymyself it was the opinions of othersthat I would repeat to myself and say Imust be sure I must be anxious I mustnot be strong enough for must not begood enoughthat's a is the mind is so powerful so Ithink one of the things I want to tryand be with this podcast is always tryand get into younger heads so they don'tgo through that exactly he reallyswitched them young because we instillthat mind saying them from a young ageisn't it yeah definitely you know andit's not thinking of mom always saysdon't let your feet go cold what shewasn't someone else is great I love thatyou know love it and it's not be enoughfor example right now the time is whattime is it11:14 11:40 11:40 in Zim it is 140 okayit's 114 thing right now does that meanthat we're slower then we're not we'rein a different time zone we're notslower than them you know and I said soright you know someone graduated yeahand they just wanted see or wait fiveyears before securing a good job andsomeone became a CEO at the age of 25but died at the age of 50 while someoneelse became a CEO and the age of 50 andleave till they were nine see Obamaretired as president at the age of 55don't know Trump became president at theage of 70 you know so everyone's intheir own time zone and people aroundyou they might seem like they I had afew or some be behind you but everyone'srunning the old race in their own timeso think of not being I just want topoint out quickly for the podcast he'sreading white Instagram right man yaknow but it makes so much sense which iswhy we get along we think the same kindof things so I'm sure your remains to us[Laughter]it's the truth but the problems withsociety in like social media and stuffis we are that in our food go cold Isuppose if you use that because we wantyou cuz we're watching as a people I'mnot gonna sit here and say I don't dothat myself I'm conscious that it's notthe right thing to do six out of theseven days a weekI don't do it but there are some dayswhen you get frustrated cuz you know youwant to be there but then is that thingabout trust in the process and we'reboth average gym goerswe know what it's like to Broadway toadd strength to lose weight and stuffand we know it's a process thing so sothat's really importantor what I switch gears just a little bitwe want to one of the next questionwhich is about routine now I alwaysbelieve whereproduct of our habits and the things wetell ourselves and I think I know myselfpersonally but my routines on point mydays are on point and my goals and whatprogression it moves forward but whenit's not it's completely off so I'mgonna know is what's your kind of dailyroutine that you do now having learnedall the lessons that you've had it sincecoming from Zimbabwe to England andgoing through school and then throughyour social work where you probably seemore stuff than most people what's kindof like your daily routine that keepsyou going okay wake uppeople myself all been just now jokingright so obviously get on the treadmillstraightaway I get 45 minutesfrosted coffee or show a beauty showcoming up in about nine weeks where isthat show they'll be a staff to shareokay in Staffordshire then there'll beanother one two weeks after that instaffing shared stuff and I'm not onepotentially after my Scotland you loveit yeah so at the moment I wake up to gofasted cardio get in the shower thenhave my breakfast and only just you knowbreakfast I can have one to go on my wayto workI'm going to work and probably listen tosongs because before he used to itsounds like the radio and then I realizethat all the stars radio presenters theyirritate mebecause I know guys their job or thechild or the rubbish yeah and most of itis lies but that's what I have to do istheir job isn't it so there is anythingthat's fine it's on the plate presentersare talking I just feature a differentstation with a drink and song at thattime I listen to radio for one now butnow I listen to something quitemotivational you know there's so manymotivational things that you finallyachieve and it takes me not too long toget to work so I put that day's work isfinished and it's just climbed a littlesomething in my mind I've learnedsomething from thatOh do and I get to work do I need to dowhilst at work you know how I can officewhere people are always bringing cakesmy songs for breakfast and all thisdifference and you know the donor so nowand then and I'm they even have a littlelunch boxes lunches you can have someyou're gonna have some you know and nownobody even seems like a drink a cup oftea they don't ask me for one becausethey know that I'm not gonna have onedrink or take and condos weight so I canteens tell me why I don't think intoidea how they're gonna say if you don'tknow cause I've had these conversationswith my colleagues about you know havingthe discipline to discipline and if youare not there wish I was like you but hecan be only yesterday miss get right upin the end until you get there you'renot gonna be able to see it starts hereit starts it starts all starts in thehead do memory right you can't youactually can't and that's what I believeI don't believe that you can't so youcan't you're not there until you believeyou can yeah anyway then of course thegym after work I destroy my work out asmuch as I cango home and have a meal do it be areading after that cuz I've got abouttwo hours to find start getting readyfor bed and have my last meal and go tobed okay that's a typical day and for medon't get me wrong I work a stressfuljob about something I think I think thatsometimes it's the stress would you makeit I'm not really a stress the stress Tperson like that so for me I always tryto remain calm stay chilled andsometimes the people that you know doyou ever like strength unlike what'sthat gonna helpit's not gonna help me isn't Americanthings better it's not then I go see thegym me in the gym is a space where I canshut down you know just focus on why isit fun to meyeah it's a place for me there's timesthat I going what gym about six times aweekI don't want it went you know about sixtimes a week but now is the case ofdiscipline I'm just I'm there whether Iwant to or thatdo I wanna wake up frustrated with myclothes every dayI don't want to see what I have to do Ido because I have seen you know peoplesaying are jungian up dry chicken outdry chicken and veg again how do youenjoy it I'm gonna enjoy I don't mean toenjoy because nobody needs ityeah it's about why I enjoy oh you canseason your chicken me you cannotconsistently so why don't you need toenjoy it so have it yeah that's one thatI like that and the great thing aboutthat is it's transferable by anything oranything because for me I've nevercompeted before these were firstbodybuilding competitions you know andnothing to myself rightit's that pinnacle before I used to goJim it's just real weight you know tryand lift as heavy as I can they camepretty strong but then what's next youknow cuz I catch a point in the gym Ithink you know you know same old stuckhere for how many years not much changesso if we know yeah jump our comfort zonedoing something that's gonna stretchsomething you've never ever done beforeso completes it and it's something I'vealways wanted to do ok right this yearI'm gonna compete this you know is thevery first of December no sir right thisyear I'm gonna compete that racismnothing's happening so sometimes youneed to take action absolutelyabsolutelywhen it comes to do it that's a wholedifferent story some people some peoplefeel like they're doing push-ups oh theygetting bigger by just talking about itoh yeah it's all pumped up the momentand listen to motivational thing andthey're feeling grateful oh but 30minutes per month okay now you're gonnawork and that work there and whatever itis in life so say for instance if youuse my property for example a lot of thestuff I do in this job it's not greatand sometimes people will look at itfrom from their perspective and think ohyou've got the life you can work withyou on that listen when I accept my dayI hate doing these tasks but I have todo it just in order to get my freedomdiscipline equals freedom basicallythat's how I see itsame with the gym so I'll get the smirkremarkso you're always in the gym you'readdicted to the gym first I used to getmy back up a little bit because I didn'twant to be that guy but I'm like okaythat's fineI'd rather be addicted to that then atthe same time similar to your son yesI'd say three or four times a week Ireally want to get to the gym becauseyou just you feel good you feel greatthe other times and what I'm doingsometimes I do to workout today as wellI don't wanna be there but I have to bethen I convince myself and I starttalking the struggle I go through my ownhead to get myself to the gym thatmorning is tough but it has to bedonated to become he's so happy now he'slike it's like when I breathe or when Ieat and drink it's just part of it thisis second natureyeah everyone should do that becauselike we said it's all transferrable intoanything if I can myself up my comfortzone every single day and do that andthen do that with other tasks in my lifeI either private casting ie my propertyor my coaching or whatever then slowlylike with a gym progress it's gonnastart happening isn't ityou gotta start reaching them and lookdoing things such as a meal prep I'venever used a real prayer never use themeal prep and you know the whole resultshave been working our fancy KFC KFC KFCof course I why do I do thatdodge it corny ammonia sometimes all myeat lunch and by the time just beforeeating I'll be starving and I'll havewiping stuck in order Big John'sastray if I were to be John's then goJesus laughter you cannot I work aboutdiet and stuff Engels now I could takesome 2,000 do four days worth of foodand I feel great yeah absolutely and nowit's a habit I believe in dreadmill prepI enjoy heat and deciphering again manmotivation that's all if I say a - timediscipline lasts forever high-degreewonder-percent I think I used to be aperson trainer not seven eight years andI'm Cocorico need to like a coachingaspect I suppose the people were so likemy property and business and stuff andone of the first things I will say topeople when they approach me or can youcoach me for a kind of ability you helpme get get over this hurdle in my lifefor example it's okay do you work out asolution one of the first questionsasked which they probably don't expectfrom the coach because I think you knowyou're gonna give me some system orsomething that you need to do forbusiness and the majority of them say noI'm like well that needs to changebecause the way I do my stuff is that'sthe first thing we look at we focusingon your health which I believe is yourbiggest well you know healthy as well asthat kind of thing and your mind gettingthat right and that's kind of how I lookat it so I think me going to the gymespecially for my boxing okay justbefore meeting you doing the Masters hasbeen one of the biggest disadvantages Ihad when I went to this property game inthis business game because I was like Ijust take that work ethic where I was iworking everyone in the gym and i justbring it into yeah okay i don't know asmuch about property or business as mostpeople but most people start work aboutknowing they work to about half i forexample you have about an hour and ahalf at the dick you know for lunch thenlooking at YouTube videos half waythrough if I just wake up seven eighto'clock but I don't have all that timeand I just work till seven eight o'clockat night very very quickly over a coupleyears I'll call back up if that makesany sense that's kind of what I've doneit that of course yeah okay fantastic sowhat is your biggest fear why is mybiggest fear okay um my biggest fear isI would say to not be able to keep myfamily they deserve what would change intheir day to day would it be that youwant to retire them from work or sendthem on a holiday I mean what kind ofthings in what will change them and thenmoments wake up to what's work thatwould be the main thing the choice didyou have the choice if they do choose togo to work is our choice as long as theyhave to yeah and at the moment is thecase of the clock see I thinks it's cuzknow we spend a lot of our time I workmore about time get home everyone'stired or we the good gets a bed that'syour neo Cynthia as you know spend asmuch time as you deal with them as youdo at work absolutelyfor me I would like for my family to theOpera Z what's the spin because that'sthat's invaluable man thing is for us tospend more time together spend more timedoing something that it does not reallybenefit us you know the initial initialamount of time that it got its that's mybiggest worry cuz it's not for you knowcritics life is a predictoryou know things happen day in day outactually I've seen this call he saidthat we who die while still alive youknow you don't expect it to happen whilethings happen and for me out of reallydisappointed if I if something any fixthat happened and I'm not being able togive my family the life that theydeservethat's what my biggest fear okay goodanswer good answerokay so the next question is aboutmotivation I'd be lying I suppose if Isaid there was a days where I struggledto keep myself away I think I've touchedon this earlier you know gym stuffand I'm pretty soon yourself had thosedays as well I've yet to meet anybodywho doesn't need some level ofmotivation or something that just keepson going on the days where they justdon't feel like doing it so I want toknow is on those days where you feellike maybe you're in a funk or yourmotivations gone and then he's just notclicking in your head and you don't wantto go to the gym I know we touch ondiscipline for example or you don't wantto go to it what is driving you on thatparticular day okay I always think thatsomeone else is working harder that's meby the way up in smoke okay if we are tobelieve this you know the competition'sthat I'm gonna do like I said I don'twanna go to gym every day but I dosometimes I'm in the gym I'm gonnahundred percent I still give iteverything that came on that day yeahyou know I'll finish myself I want to bestanding on that stage and if I've lostit's my cause I worked refused yeah Iwant to lose with my head held highokay there's nothing more that Icould've actually given me okay that'swhat motivates me I don't understandtheir thinking and if I want to thinkthat one day that's gonna be that we maylive so stop being of no wanting to beoutworked it's okay yeah you're gonnalose okay we lose it but do not losecause I do not get oh yeah you knowthat's Jim late but I'm Garcialife in general I just touched up on myknees that like they don't give for myfamilyyes that's what motivates me to stopbeing of man you can't afford to letthat grip slippushy and you know I'm always to youmore the fact that they're waking up agoal to work that day when that day thewake nuts got to work clay yeah that'sthat's my motivation desperate like theyhave to wake up for where that baby thatyou have that makes sure you don't hitthat seems but exactly can I hear thatbecause I understand me my wife youwhile I went on this journey where I wasself-employed and not really normally Iwas literally carrying I had this muchmoney to spare another I need to getremember me I need to pay for a coffeeany I was working my pennies out in abootstrapping but the thing that wouldalways get me out of bed was and I wasput my alarm I just put on for my wifeyeah so I'm like she's haven't talked towork to support this I mean and thatused to keep me going every single daythat's so I hear that okay okay so nowyou've heard the buzzer has just goneoff and we're at the fun part of theshow where I'm gonna put you throughyour paces now the beautiful thing aboutthis is T doesn't know any of thequestions I'm gonna ask him so what I'mgonna do is I'm gonna set the timer for60 seconds okay so we're going to startin three two onethe ability to fly or be invisible rightmoney your fame money Ronnie Coleman orAuto Show Sega on favorite protein shapeflavor banana singing or dancing dancingthat Pixar YouTube YouTube Marvel or DCmodel favorite TV show everwould you rather than on how you woulddie or when you were dying when you loveor moneylove books or movies if you can sit withone person in the world or an hour withme you'll probably be in Iraq your worstfear growing up was snakes what is yourbiggest addictionmy biggest addiction is Jim summerwinter summer your favorite place in thewhole way your zoom speak or languageswill be able to speak to animalssweet harmonies if you could abolish onething in the world for many P racismyour favorite song ever last onesJacob read minds or predict the futureyour favorite superheromy pramantha probably one of mine yeahyeah okay so but nearly there's just acouple of more questions left and thenext one's on reflection so hi insidesome wonderful thing and upon reflectionwe can always think of ways to get towhere we currently are quicker easier orwith less heartache but I also guess thejourney teaches us a lot as well I'm astrong believer in trusting the processand enjoying the process so what I wantto know is if you could go back in timeto that one moment where you reallystruggled and suffered with theadversity so if you use the universityexample and you can just whispersomething in the air of a younger Tknowing what you know now what would youtell yourself when I tell myself beproactiveno one's gonna keep this to you you cando thisno one can race you come on your waysfor you you're gonna do but in so we areactually at the last question then if ina hundred and fifty years time sciencefails to save all of us we're no longerhere and well that exists is a book onthe life of T by the way you can chooseup for the title and on that book it'sit can be as big as you want butsomebody's walking past what will makethat person pick it up right so what Iwant to know is what would the blue sayand what would the total of that booksay about you okay okay something GodseyI mean that I'm always there so someonewho just worked hard to chase theAmerican dream for their family justfinally in Americayeah people's attention but that it'struly the only company okay title titlethe British dream says a guy it's veryhard to get there makethey're gonna be thinking this authorhas no idea where my story my story myright there's not right or wrong answergood answer good answer so that you'veheard it you've heard like anunbelievable story of somebody who'scoming from a place where many of us whoare listening to this now haven't had tocome from I suppose and I studied withtea at University and a lot of this Inever knew myself so it's it's beeninspiring for myself to hear thisespecially when I sit back and I thinkabout when we were doing coursework andI used to struggle with the EnglishEnglish language myself so just to thinkhow hard it must have been for you aswell it just makes you appreciate howfortunate we all are before we leave Iam I always like to ask my guests ifthey could just give us one place wherewe could reach out to you I'll probablysay snapchat realistically okay thesemore than anything that's fine you andyour username infrastructure catcherFreeman catch a Freeman okay fantasticI'll put that in the show notesI'm will probably put your Instagram inthere as well because I find itinspirational there's a lot of greatquotes bill on my Instagram okay butthere's also a lot of their trainingfootage as well and bespoke prior tothis interview as well teas on thetransformation where he's gone from justunder probably 100 kg down to like 7 eie I think at the minute and it'sprobably gonna get lower so it justshows you that if you really trust theprocess in your work hard you can reallyget to where you want to get to and Ijust wanna say thank you for coming downreally appreciate itand tirana home thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 5 - Look up by Ashley Nixon #5Tagline: “So you sort of look at the victories of the past, and you rely on them for victories in the future"https://arendeu.com/podcastFind your voice - Episode 5Ashley Nixon grew up with rage, that would spiral his life into turmoil. Drug abuse, prison, fighting both in and out of the ring, dealing with well known drug cartels and gangs he often found himself living a life destined for jail or death. Fortunately it was the former and through his time in prison, Ashley had a realisation towards a better life. His purpose almost became apparent and with hard work, the right mindset and devoting himself to a larger cause Ashley is now on his path to serving others and making a massive difference in the world.His genuine personality, of wanting to serve and now his love for himself having been accepted by the lord, as he puts it, has given him a new life. Born again, is how he describes it and shows that anyone, despite their past mistakes or actions can truly turn their life around.Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010604051898#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and I am the host of theshow so today's episode is one of hopeand one which really does capture yourimagination on what is possible thisindividual has been at rock bottom and Imean rock bottom where he's had thesupport he's had the community and he'shad the people around him to really tryand lift him up but it just wasn'tenough until something changed and I'mnot gonna tell you what that thing isbut I'm gonna let him explain it becauseI think this is such an important storyabout how we so often try and do thingsto please other people we try and fitinto places where we just know we don'tbelong and thankfully for not onlyhimself did he realize this but also forthe community he is now having such amassive positive impact on so I hopeyou're all having a fantastic day and Ihope this interview really does give yousome insight in terms of what's possibleand more importantly just give you asense of hope that people can changefirstly I'm gonna welcome back to theshow so how you doing today my friendyeah I'm doing good thank you yeahreally good thank you privilege to bethere so thank you well I'm verygrateful that you've taken time out yourday to come on so obviously you've heardthe introduction as listeners but Ithink it's more important we hear alittle bit more about Ashley himself andI've heard snapshots and highlightsabout how your world is transformedbasically since I last seen you in thegym so it's gonna be interesting for meas well as you guys is the listener soactually if you wouldn't mind if youcould just give us a run through alittle bit about your life from themoment you can remember basically upuntil where you are right now my rightokay yeahand it's looking back on your life andI'm 30 years old now so as you canimagine I've lived quite a bit for 30yearslisten try and give a bit of a snapshotof my life it's it's when you're readyto start so suppose looking back towhere we met we first met at the boxingclub leading up to that I'd been livingwith my family in Coventry they're agroup of Coventry we had my mom my manand a sister as well never really had adive growing up and then was about 10years old my mum met my now stepdad andbeing a 10 year old lad being the lifeof the family the man of the house andthen certainly having this new man inthe house it kind of I think from therethings began to disrupt in my house myworld was kind of turned upside down alittle bit and to add to that I supposewe moved them from Commons we'destablished when I was about 11 yearsold and so I'm moving to a new area theaccents were funny funny which is I'mreally but I'm sorry no new area Itrying to make new friendsangry and upset with my home situationand so as you can imagine I began tomeet with and get to know other kidsthat were like myself really just angryupset at the world and from there as youcan imagine paint up in school excitedto describe lessons and to get suspendedand get into fights him in there forlong smoking smoking cannabis regulagetting drunk on the weekendsoccasionally was ecstasy involved orcocaine and life for me quite early onin the years began to spiral really Idon't know what it was just one of thosekids that you know I weren't reallyscared of the police instead of schooland my family at home and we and upsetand trying to find a way to expressemotions I didn't quite understand andso through crime and getting intotrouble and I've been involved withyoung offenders and team stuff I andthey put me to trick all connections itwas back in the day connections withsomething that work with young kids totry and provide positive activities forthem so they sent me to the Lions BoxingClub and so that's how I found myself atthe box we talked when I was probablyabout 15 16 years old oh wow yeah yeahyes that's probably my first my hewasn't about that it was yeah my briefmemory of yourself was so I always hadthis thing in my head where I was at themost talented but I would always try andoutwork everyone in the gymand there's probably I'd say a handfulof people that I remember obviously youhad Connor who was like you know one ofthe best boxes in the gym there's a guygood friend of mine called Andy who usedto work really really hard on hisfitness and I remember yourself andthat's pretty much my only memory of youas somebody who when he came in hepretty much gave ease or so in terms oflike work ethic and stuff I fullyunderstand that I just want to quicklytouch on something though that youmentioned that you when you were growingup and you were angry and upset with theworld and stuff was that solely becauseyou had no father growing up or yeah hisighs beautiful thing in it and thenlook looking back I I try now to try andwork out and organize and think what itwas but the time it's hard when you'rein the middle of something and yourlife's a mess in these turmoil sometimesit's hard to put your finger on what itwas I suppose looking back it was diyosI was a little kid in Coventry and I wasten years old had my first girlfriendand things were going while I played forthe football team in my primary schooland then my mom meets my stepdad thisman's in my house and we move so youknow an hour away from my home having tomake new friends and I didn't want thatand I suppose it was just rebellionagainst that really I mean looking backnow I recognize my mom you know she hadme at a very young age and she gave upher youth to be my mom and she had ashot at being happy you know and Iwasn't happy about us being selfish andsuppose there's been a kid notunderstanding the world around you'resuppose absolutely absolutely and Ithink you touched on the point therehindsight's a wonderful thing wesometimes even myself I mean I was neverinvolved with the police or anything butthis stuff I did as a kid or at schooland you cringe when you think back andthink yeah I was are that guy but Isuppose we all know lessons from it andthat's kind of what I'm trying to getfrom this podcast and fun this interviewwith yourself so you've touched onbriefly obviously you got into boxingthen so how did that kind of transformyour life because I know that had amassive impact yeah so this is this isthe first time boxing and so there'sanother second occasion which is afterthis occasion I was there for a whileand it provided that stability and itprovided routine provided disciplinethat sort of thing and I remember thethe Rob this went back when I was a kidsball Marines came in and they didn'tlike a little demonstration in theboxing club and that was me so I thoughtthe rule means I'm gonna become asoldier and I went to the the careersoffice and I told him look I want to bea soldier I want to come and serve andthey asked me about my criminal recordand they basically said look paveyourself a couple years and we'll acceptthat so I tried my best to behave asI've always been a Jacqueline so it'smore a case of not getting caughtexcept for couple years continue to boxcontinue to get fit get healthy and wentdown to limp stone in Devon I've done afour-day selection course for the wrongreasons and which I passed that and alsosets means of the wrong reasons and thenI go into a phone a pub and I've donefor a BH I'd leave that witnessintimidation and as you can imagine thatwas the wrong Marines was my way out myway out of the brokenness my way out ofthe mess it was my way of trying to fixmyself and blooby only stay after thatthe door closed and my life justspiraled from there and things got realbut from then on I went back to the onlything that I really knew other than thatand that was selling drugs so from a kidfrom a young age or worked out you knowthe best way to fund any drug habit thatI'd have would be to sell drugs myselfand along with all the states that cometo that all of the reputation the moneyand the people thinking you're the big Iam and I really started a little kids Iwas an idiot and more Pitt and I've gotcaught up in a world that was massiveway bigger than myself and so that waslike 19 I think that was I startedspiraling and really spiraling in thatcontrol and over the next four years 19to the age of sort of 23 involve wrigleyinvolved in drug dealing and gang lifethat sort of thing I got noticed by someproper thugs like some proper likeorganized crime and I start selling forthese guys and these guys were likeI mean we were selling to likestreet-level lads and then we send tothose that are selling to them on thestreets but occasionally buying from thelocals like the Albanian mafia andselling the house a like it sounds crazywe've seen out loud sometimes I mean Isometimes I get to show this he's notsaying it sometimes I share this throughit sounds like something you see almoston a netflix program like narcos or itmight sound like that but i'll be honestlike this sort of thing happensthroughout the country you know I meanevery town every neighborhood everycouncil estatehave somebody who's involved in thiskind of a lifestyle it's they I'm sureas you know yourself maybe this kind ofthings it's widespread throughout thiscountry and I got caught up in it youknow I'm 1920 from a life away and I canown money really quickly and I'm goingto house parties and people know who Iam and about reputation and peoplerespect me and I'll be honest - they'rescared little kid if a woman's justtrying to vent that anger thatfrustration and finding drugs to maskproblems and issues and it may is just amess man absolute mess but yeah Isuppose you can imagine from that andended up in prison eventually which wasabsolutely the best place for me exactlywhere I belong and looking back nowprison mate was the best thing that everhappened to me just to touch on that soI've previously worked in a prison forabout six months it was part of mysocial work I was doing a master's atthe time and when I went there it wasone of the scariest places I've everbeen personally so I am afraid of thepolice I am afraid of like silly thingsbut when I was there you've seen how howlittle these people have interactionwith their kids or with you know thecommunity will be able to just do stuffI mean you were getting that one hourfreedom a day where they're allowed towalk in like the park kind of area theyhad and I was looking at that and I usedto go work there so obviously I'm therefrom like 9:00 to 5:00 in a I'm so happyto get back home and I used to alwayssay I just come home to the missus and Iwas like because I've had a couple ofscraps here and there and sometimesyou've hit someone the wrong way andthey're falling down and they're notgetting up and you kind of panic and youthink shit this could go in thatabsolutely different way and I literallysat back and I think having experiencedthat from the outside for six months itwas it was eye-opening for me to makesure that I never ever used my hands orgot into an altercation in the wrong wayso if you wouldn't mind like just forthem at listeners here because I thinkit'd be quite interesting a day in thelife of being someone as sort of aprisoner and how long would youtherefore as well yeah okay so I was Iwas quite fortunate and being involvedin the life that was involved you knowand regularly carried firearms and thatwe've you know tens of thousands ofpounds of cocaine transporting it in mycar I could have been given you knowseven ten fifteen you know however manyyearsbut in the end that abh thousand I gotthem for I got given a suspendedsentence at the end of the spin is insmessed up again got given communityorder or whatever it was basically likemy old sentence was just hanging over myhead because I never managed to behavelong enough for it to disappear and inthe end I got caught with about two orthree grams of cocaine which isbasically enough for personal amountthat basically invoked the suspendedsentence and I was given 6 months and 14days so I was well you say six months islike for me I mean I'm not like I coulddo a weekend in there oh yeah I thinkprison ultimately I mean as long asyou're willing to go there behaveyourself get your head down you're gonnabe okay but the reason you're in thereis because that's not something that youdo too easilyabsolutely for this occasion a tourismthe game and so you're okay and thenbeing allowed that's always trying toprove himself always trying to you knowpresent this person you know long okayI've got it together okay and so I findmyself in this prison and in prison is acurrency which is like tobacco andtobacco you're buying drugs you buy ashoe by that and it's the only addictionthat you're allowed and so people cravethe nicotine in animes in prison if youwant to borrow some tobacco from saylike the loan sharks in there they'llgive you however big the pouch is oneweek the next week they want to put theamount back my Gran's this prisonand I thought you know I'm gonna startborrowing tobacco because I wanna smokeaside borrowing some I didn't reallythink about the repayments at all theguy that was borrowed from was only ascrawny looking lad so I didn't reallyfeel too much about it he came on to meone day said Let Me In and pay me backwhat you owe me I basically told him Itold him where to go something on me I'ma painter which is you can imagine was apretty stupid idea and I didn't dobecause I was a tough guy no I don'tknow I wouldn't tell anybody I was a bighard man you know me big toughness justmore pickup in this crazy world but thisguy anyway he goes down and he says manI'm gonna go get my clothes my foot yeahwhatever jog on like you went to go getithis cousin was huge meimagine a massive Commodore basicallycorridors on the sideI mean there's a little central bit andthen another block on either side sortof things so kind of what you see on theTV rooms so I'm on the fifth floor thefifth I'm in the top floor and I'm justHank like basically my hands on therailings just looking over and then thisbig huge guy comes around the corner andhe goes right if that can't be iscausing this guy was huge and so I we'renew in prison if you guys didn't have astrap normally go into a pad one of theprison ward like the cells in thatyou'll have it off of a strap and twoguys will stand outside and keep tryingtill the guards come sort of thing asyou can imagine that's a prettyintimidating prospect when a guy thatthis guy was hugebut he came towards me anyway and sortof like he put himself in the browser aswell and I don't know if used for theproven point to the rest of the windbecause he ended up being the biggestloan shark on the wind load and he's puthis arms over the side I'm over to signhis turn and he goes what are you gonnapay me back and as I turned to talk tohim he just hit me at the side of thehead as hard as he couldI've sort of staggered back I ended uphaving local marks on the side made fourto three weeks because he's doing it onthe landing on the wing the securityguards nearby and so we strapped inflashing 30-second twenty seconds whenAllah and screwy guys jumped on himpinned him to the floor I've turned todecide the scrawny cousins had a go atme then as well and so I won't have anyscraps on the land and the securityguards got involved and and throughbasically the street lighting involvedwas the last one standing but as you canimagine again reputation starts good forthe roof people saying he is not a liaryou know I'm not paying attention to thesystem playing by the prison's ruleslike I said me I was in Indiawhoopee and I got myself into all kindsof trouble but um see ya these guysended up there getting removed off theprison wing moves to another part topresent and tobacco size tutorialbecause that last the ones who weresupplying tobacco they put a price on myhead so that if anyone gave me a hickeyand or a beam or whatever or you knowyou're in prison with a price on you andit's mostly you know stabbed a stickerand so this is the position I foundmyself in all over the game makingthings absolutely the worst I possiblycould for myself really I want to say Iadmire your honesty for for coming upand and sharing this story and I thinkwhat we need to take away from isprobably the most important bits is thatwhile you were doing all this and I'veseen you you're a big lad you yourstrong lad but you just mentioned acouple of things there where you've saidthat you were scared and you know youhad a mask on and you were you were kindof you almost trying to be somebody thatyou maybe you weren't deep down I'm notsure I'm not sure if that's the rightwords but I just feel like you've shownsome vulnerability there and I thinkthere's probably a lot of kids and I'vegot I've got a couple of extended familymembers or friends who are doing similarthings to yourself and it and it's itworries me because I'm always trying totell them but like whose reputation areyou really trying to get and what isthis reputation that you want to beknown for and I want to kind of justspin this a little bit because I don'twant people just thinking that you'reright they're just crap over the worldand going absolutely crazy because thereis light at the end of the tunnel withyour story which is why I find it sofascinating I know recently you've had amassive transformation in your life andI I can tell from your intelligence thatone you realize that you wereaccountable for everything you've takenresponsibility you've accepted that yeahit was your fault so if you wouldn'tmind just just for the listeners as welljust kind of how your life started totransform or what measures you took yeahokay so I think from what you've heardfrom my story already there's a coupleof times I've tried to sort myself outboxing was one and which in the endbecame so incredible at the time I thinktoo young and too stupid to take theopportunity given to me the secondHolmes the rule means trying to solve aself out through the wrong reasonsmany times I've tried and I knew my lifewas a mess I knew I needed help and youI needed a way out but I think with theanger and the frustration and I'll be onlet things go I was trapped you know asI was trapped you know I think I was inprison within my own mind long beforeeverything prison itself and so I thinkpersonally I was at a point of not beingable to help myself at all it's funnybecause I this apart the storyline Ilove this part of story it's not alwaysa part the story that people can alwaystruly grasp time in this prison mylife's in danger there's a price on myhead I'm looking over my shoulderconstantly waiting to get a kick in andit is at this point another prisoner whowas who was in the cell opposite me hecame to me he said may I I think youneed God and then one thing he got inyour life and I for me you want totaking the mick yeah and I'm in prisonmy life's in danger I need you knowbaseball bat or a couple of mates Idon't know and you know that's crazy butI think it's something at that point Idon't know if she's been triggering mesomething caught my attention I don'tknow what it was but a couple of dayslater I'm walking down a prison wing inthe corridor and there's a sign-up sheeton the wall for chapel and I see thisfunctional chapel and and somethingabout it just it just caught myattention it's all about it he just drewme towards it I was like okay what'sthis all aboutI looked at it and I read this timemachine afore it's not for me and I meanI'm not interested I don't care whatthis guy's saying about God I don't wantto know I don't care and I went to walkaway and something is showing me it'sthe strangest thing about it just feltlike there's something tugging at mesomething within was just pulling at meand I look back now and I've got wordsto try and describe what was going on itwas just crazyit was like it was weird it was crazy soit was pulling me towards this song shedoes something more about it than what Iread about it yeah in the end of I'vesort of gone back and as I'm going backtowards it there's like a sense ofexcitement growing I mean almost like asense of adrenalin groaning me know Iwas training some crazy drugs in thisworld but what was going on at thatmoment was it was surreal it's weird andso I thought you know what can I loselet's go and check out what thischappals all about and so I signed up myname and basically what this feat wasabout is if you sign up my name on aSunday a prison guard will come to youso they'd release you from prison theytake you to Chapel I thought okay coolI'll get myself out there so let's goI sign my name a million and the momentI found my name of a centerpiece itmeans I'd never experienced before in mylife well you know I was here I was inprison I was a broken-down scumbag andexactly what I deservedmy life was in danger and if I got me akicked in and I said oh I deserve buthere I was feeling peace feeling asthough there's more to life than whatcurrently experienced more than anypeople as well and that was crazy me totry and for me to look back and likesometimes I catch myself saying now it'stelling this storyabsolutely crazy really yeah I think Ithink this is such a fascinating storybecause it's literally from one extremeto the complete opposite end of thespectrum it's not like you've made amistake you made it the second time andthen you you've kind of sorted yourselfat through whatever means it is you'veliterally I mean I'm listening to thatstory initially and if I didn't know youand say for instance you had alreadytold me half the story I would be likeokay there's no hope for this guy and Isay that because like I said I knowpeople who are who have had a similarlife and I've tried my best to help thempersonally and I tried to kind of changetheir circle of friends their influencetry and change their mindset make themread more do more and sometimes I'll behonest I feel helpless but what you'vejust given me there which you may notrealize is you've given me a sense ofhope that actually ok might not be Godbut there there is a way that we can tapinto people say for instance likeyourself and I'm I'm using your wordshere I'm not calling you this by the wayper say Prince is somebody exactly likea scumbag for example I really sort oftransform their lives so oh yeah that ispowerful powerful stuff so yeah so youstarted you started in prison in termsof so you go to this chapel and then howdid that kind of accelerate afterwardsyeah yeah so I mean I'm in prison andlearned the chapel week-in week-out andI'm trying to study this bad persontrying to get more groups the Bible andstuff like that and hearing about a Godwho who loves me and God he wants thevery best for me a God of second chancesa god of redemption a lot of forgivenessand these are all the things I knew thatI needed so desperately and I remembergoing back to my son and tried my firstever prayer and I'm sort of saying Godyou know if you're out there and you arewho these people say well look I needhelp and I really really need to knowplease how many way the week's all go byI'm coming towards a moment where I likethe opposite gangs in honor these ladsare involved with these little guys okayhere comes to kicking I'm waiting for analarm would go off or a cigar would justturn on the corner you know I mean andlike almost like you leave coincidencesyeah yeah looking at them on the surfacelike this just a coincidence you knowthe main burner like it felt like I wasprotecting me I felt renewed it's nothope was there like I had hope you knownever excusedlike tomorrow's gonna be okay it's gonnabe all right you know me like no matterhow dark and how broken how messed up mysituation was you know what there is away out and things can change and it'sbeautiful me just having that hope justit stirs you online I love that I lovethat message and that's kind of amessage I always try and preach myselves and it's actually something thatkeV it's fantastic and he talks aboutbelief and whether you believe in God orwhether you believe in anything like healways says worst case just believe inyourself because we all need thatotherwise we're lost and I suppose youyou were I think it's fair to say youwere lost for so long and oh yeah youfound your calling and I think that'sfantastic mate it's one it's nice tohear that your life had turned aroundfrom that yes I imagined that youropinion of yourself changed so ratherthan see yourself as this scumbag forexample will keep just using that wordyes how did you start seeing yourselfhow would you explain yourself you okayI'd love to say that instantly BAM mychange completely yes does this newsense of hope there was this sense ofper person of death meaning that my lifehad value and meaning you know I mean itwasn't just some random mess that wasdoomed to fall apart with her but likeprisoners to flying yes I've got thisBible in my hands now I'm trying tolearn to pray but then I'm back in myown neighborhood of I tackle my uncleand my old gang mates who are only myold influences are they're my oldreputation goes before mold you knowknow made all this temptations around melooking I remember the first night comeout of prison you know this Bible in meunder mana going back home and we makecomes running and I'm sniffing coke withhim and I'm wondering why I can't sleepat night you know my doings myself and Ithink the 10-month period be kind ofjust completely wrestling between theidentity that I used to haveand this new identity that I'veexperienced and wanted so much more uhand so does this season of uh you knowat growl bit on the weekend and I'll getinto fights and I've got my jaw brokenbetween I throw my prison before Istarted boxing just a flat-out into afight go out and take drugs then comehome and read my Bible and pray andbelieve in this God that was gonna saveme and set me free it was just a weirdseason of things happening but in thisperiod again like I spoke aboutcoincidences in the prison I believecoincidences we had to start takingplace outside of prison as well so thegang that I was involved in and I said Iwas on tag so I had to be in by sevenfucking line eight o'clock at nightthere was caught in the drugs bust rightat one point four million pounds of drugbust and they're caught with like largeamounts of cocaine large amounts of cashshotguns and literally a big bust it wasacross the news everywhere so they wereremoved from the streets I found out mybest friend was Steven my girlfriend wasin prison so they all removed from mylife and through another series ofcomplete coincidences I was leftisolated and all alone and with nothingmore than the Bible and trying to learnto pray and I believe God removed thebaggage from my life and the brokennessfor my life to really be able to work onmyself and so for me when when you readsome of the things in the bite the biobassoonist stuff the bio says about it'sbeautiful like it's beautifully likesays that every hair that's on your headis numbered God knows you that well andthat intimately in you are of thatimportance and that value in your hairis numb but you don't mean like stufflike it's beautiful and she decided toread this stuff and he starts to tospeak value into your life I think oneof the most powerful things that thatcan happen with things like depressionyou'll have these thoughts that go overand over and over in your head and theycompletely compoundingthe ideas so if you think that you'renothing any worthless and you'rethinking that constantly every singleday you're gonna think you're worthlessand nothing I know it's gonna spiral oras if someone starts to speak words arepositive words are encouragingI think words and words that we believeand the things that we believe aboutourselves are so powerful you've tookthe words right out of my mouth and Iwas gonna say this literally I was gonnasay this later on because how you speakto yourself will determine your life inyour story and your level of happinessmassively in terms of so even myselfI've gone through like anxiety and allthat sort of stuff in my life and interms of like my business for example ifjust use it as an example it's gone muchbetter in the last six months than itwas previously but because my state ofmind and my self-worth and love andeverything was always at its best Isuppose I've always managed to be happyin the moment and happy in the now soirrespective of whether I have morezeros in the end of my bank account atthe end of the day or I have a fanciercar outside on my driveway my level ofhappiness doesn't really change becauseit's an inside job and I think peopleare always trying to personal thingsmaterialistic things whereby they'retrying to get some sort of validationfrom the public or external factors butwhat you really need to do is lookwithin yourselves and until you canstart loving yourself and start lookingafter yourself so how you look afteryourself in the gym or with your dietyou need to look after yourself withyour thoughts so you know massively Iappreciate you saying that mate becauseI'm you did take the words out my mouthI was saving that for later it'simportant we live in a world now whichis so media driven Facebook we've goteverything there are fingertips but themessage of the world is saying to us isyou're not good enough unless you havethis have something to sell they've gota product to get rid off so they canconvince you that you're not good enoughwithout their product that's whatthey're gonna do and if we've seen thesemessages day in and day outno wonder the half of all things were nogood with nothing we're worthlessbecause that's what the world is tellingus that's so powerful it's horrible me Imean it makes people feel inferior and Ithink one of the things I've alwaystried to do so I used to be personaltraining previously a long time ago andI see a lot of personal trainers orthey're not even personal trainers itpeople on Instagram who you've got sixpacks for example and what they're doingis those they'll sell this kind ofcourse or they'll just keep constantlyshowing forwards of their abs and then Iwas getting a lot of people come in withinsecurities because I happens is you goon Instagram everyone's live in theirbest life everyone's got a careveryone's going on holiday a month theyread it to all friends in the middle ofthe night and they doing all this crazystuff and I'm thinking you saying thetruth another reason for this podcast isto give people the the cold hard truththat you're gonna have shit days youknow you're gonna you're gonna have gooddays but it's about trying to work onyour mindset trying to understand thepeople out there like like yourselveswho are going through this as well butthey're coming out on the other sidebasically and they're coming out with itwhether it's theconnection to God or whether it's theirdaily habits or the way they theenvironment we're in in the words for meI find that in the Bible I found that inmy relations with God I find out how hewas guiding me and leading me but thenat the same time then another powerfulpart was the boxing club hmm so I knew Ineeded a good community around me Ineeded friends I needed help you knowand for me as much as I've experiencedGod and his power in prison as much as Iwas now reading the Bible and prayingthe idea of going to church was wasforeign you know me but I rememberedfrom when I was a kid that I had a placewhere I was welcomed I had a place whereI was loved I had a place where I wasaccepted that was my boxing club so Iremember rather sheepishly driving backto my boxing club knowing I left therebecause I've got caught up in drugs andstuff knowing that I'd probably let themall down and wondering how they treat mewant to come back and I member pullingup in there in the carpark in there andthen so keV came out for the doors likeI lost one even recognized me and hesaid come in man we went in and like helet one of the other coaches carry onwith the class and stuff and went up andsign the classrooms upstairsit just checked me like you just heardmy story heard how old my life'sreturning to you know complete hustleyeah yeah except me like and you knowhe's not Christian himself but thevalues that he betrays their godly madethe beautiful and I mean the guy'sincredible May he was my first episodeand the reason he was my first episodeis because the world needs more of keVDylan and I don't think because he'snature and his job and stuff he's notaware of the whole selling himself formarketing himself and I'm kind of I wantto be his advocate because I just feelthat if people spend mine with himmay I mentioned on the podcast the bestyears of my life was when keV wastraining me on a one-to-one basis Iloved him I loved spending time with himI'm similar to keV I'm not a religiousperson but we share the same values andethics and I feel that whatever you findyour power through or your level of Hopethrough hold that tight I've never letgo because that's gonna that's gonna getyou through this world because and justhis way of thinking I mean he could sitthere and feel sorry for himself all thetime or he could judge youthere and I think it takes a big manlike yourself to come out and think okayI've let these people down many timesbefore can I step back in the reason soFairplay for dropping your ego therebecause I think that's another thing hehas we have a big sense of ego growingup yeah and if you can if you can getrid of the ego within yourself I justthink you live a much more fulfillinglifeno absolutely it's a blessing stillbeing a mop it still reading this Bibleand praying and still had these crazyexperiences may his cradles just in acrazy time but I start with the box in abox it becomes a place of stabilitybecomes a place of discipline and aplace where I'm accepted and then let meeven given the privilege of now to coachas well and I'm like somebody's puttingvalue in tomorrow if you see somethingit mean it's calling the help from me aswe've gotten more relation with God thesame things happening and I ended upthen going back to church I start goingto church I'll be honest because a girlinvited me and so I find myself inchurch against trying to buy anothercommunity of people that just love meand accept me for who I amand and then I heard the Gospel messagewhich is the central message ofChristianity that God loves you nomatter what you've done he wants toforgive you for no matter how muchbrokenness and how much pain you'vebrought into this world and wants togive you a second chance and so I sortof accepted that message and I believethrough the boxing and the community hadtheir through the valley the cave wasgiven me through the Bible through myexperience of God something in me justboldly changed and I had a new sense ofwho I was as a person and for me I wasstill taking drugs I never had anytroops counseling no referral workers nodrug dependency no no help or medicationjust gonna show us how we can justsaying this is one going to live for thenext week drugs just went has noaddiction as new need for it there'slike the void that was being filled withthe drugs or the void that has beenfilled with white say was darkness whichis full of light no best hope and it wasjust boom I'm free and you made justthat I just want to touch time thatsorry just before you carry on you makewhat you did there you made a decisionwhen you make a decision like you justmade there with convictionin the church saying listen you knowwhat this is me now this is my newidentity this is the new actually mixinI am no longer that person you've kindof ridding yourself of that past it'sjust powerful mate and I just want toelaborate on that thank you thank youyeah there's a beautiful passage in thebio leases and you must be born again soyou must have your whole life completedand he's set free from stuff so for meI've always wanted to be free the drugsI always knew it was wrong but there'slike something that just held me in itlike I don't know ever just like I saiddidn't have the conviction didn't havinga beliefdidn't have the sense of shrimp to getmyself out but now that moment standingin my church and I message your footmight not believe this is really trueit's almost as if BAM was born again youknow no man all right I felt likesomething just changed like it's crazy Ilove it's a massive change fromobviously where you fit first where wejust touch on that now so you you'reborn again it's your day like now thenbecause I'm hoping and I've got my handscrossed here that you're not on thestreets at any stage selling anythingdoing anything god you made so what'syour kind of like daily routine thatyou're doing that God the drumsdisappeared on peon they don't say onlyonly like you and you're kind of dante'syou're you're downplaying theachievements listen my biggest claim tofame was keV was gonna select me fornovice Nationals and I'd only had onefight previous to that and I took aninjury outside which is a story foranother day but I was so proud of thatbecause I know how hard it is to trainmate so fantastic mate well done forthat so thank you yeah so yeah I've donethe Box in than that and then I wascoaching the club and you know you justshrimp dish shrimp and then I've I wentto my church I was doing like aninternship at the same time trying toget my head into what the hell is thiscrazy Christian world all about why isthe truth a bit as opposed to the theChristianity of this portrayed in themedia what's the real story behind allthen my church said look we want to fundyou and pay for you to go to BibleCollege which is basically University soI went to university degree in thepriorities in church leadershipshe's the first class on this as wellrelations lady who's been in prisonhe's quite yeah massive massiveturnaround I love that from their churchso about six hundred churches in Britainand about three thousand around theworld as well they want to they'verecognized that my life changed Irecognized that there's something of Godin me and something's going on in mylife so they've probably now on to atraining program which is for the nextthree years become an ordained reverenta minister so I'm currently training tobecome a minister and church matebelieve or not may you're giving megoosebumps I contact you see you rightnowI promise you the hairs of light raisedOmaha from drugs to a degree to nowyou're going to be spreading the messageof what you believe in the future and Ibless my little boy and be there for himin an amazing life radically changed meI love the privilege that I have toshare this story because every time Ishare it I'm a I'm so grateful as wellmyself to be able to sit here and speakwith you as well whether honestly thisis this is fantastic and this is this iswhat it's all about spreading this kindof message as well your son's very luckybecause sometimes I feel in a wayyou have an advantage over other peoplebecause you've been you've been in thedark side mate you've been rock bottomand use this in it and you're not you'renot reading a book about somebody who'sbeen on the dark side and then trying tofabricate a story you've lived it youknow not on the other side and it givespeople hope and like likely touched onearlier hope is like one of the mostimportant things in the world cuz ifyou've nothing to hope for and nothingto wish for then life kind of becomesmeaningless you know a powerful man I'mreally happy for you you give megoosebumps mate it's the first timewe've really so I'm looking forward toobviously keeping this friendship goingin the future as well and whenever youdown at the gym is are trying to stuffmy boxing gloves on I love it okay soI'm gonna just switch it a little bitnow and I was gonna ask him at adversitybut I think pretty much hit like so manyaspects of your life in terms ofadversity but if I just put you on thespot a little bit here now for thelisteners he has an only chance to kindof prepare himself for this so let'sjust point to him but I'm sure you'lland you'll on the right answer me interms of adversity so now you've beenborn again and things are going well foryou you've got hmm I mean new missusyou're with your son now you're spendingtime with him things are going well foryou you've got your degree in everythingif let's just say now in the last coupleof months or the last year could youthink of a time where you've hadadversity again but knowing what youknow now and obviously finding the lighthow do you handle it now because I thinkit's really important for people torealize that life can still try andthrow you a curveball and then it's howyou react to it so just give you a bitof a back to do something I'm marriednow and my wife is an incredible womanyou know sometimes I think there must bea god because she's great obviously likeme my wife both came from Bergerbackgrounds she's also got quite a storyof hope and transformation zone andbhavish thing you come from a brokenback ground and that baggage doesn'tjust go away you know I mean they're allmindsets yes I'm a Christian now yes ibelieve in christian principles andmorals but still I'm on a journey untilI see journey and you don't just changejust is it a change that happens overand so the Christian Way obviously wedon't obviously try not to have sexbefore marriage and that's probably oneof the big Christian teachings and stuffI know the sex is a sacred thing savedfor marriage and which for me was veryforeign to the way I used to think andso obviously my wife struggled with thata little bit anyway but we decided thatwe was gonna wait until he's married andwe believe highly in the sanctity ofmarriage the marriage is an incrediblething that it should be entered intolightly and as opposed to our culturetoday is that if something's not workingif you had to throw it away start againand we're in a consumeristic culture soonce you've used something you justthrow it away if something's not workingproperly anymore you get rid of it get anew one and I think sometimes that kindof mentality especially in the 21stcentury carries forward into ourrelationships and so we're not always Idon't think you got to work on arelationship it starts to go wrong wejust think let's chop her out let's geta new model sort of thing and so for aChristian to not have the whole sectorfor marriage and then to get married andto believe that we're married in theeyes of God that we've been broughttogether because you know God wants thevery best for us and you have our veryhigh expectation of marriage and a highview of marriage but as you can imaginesee people that don't live together andthen they start to live together itcauses frictionyeah any two people coming together anytwo people with two different lifestyles and different ways of livingfriction and so I don't know if we hadan idealistic view of what life would belike I think for me I'm away from thefirst years of our marriage I supposewe've struggled a little bit just withthe whole being different people comingfrom broken backgrounds differentexpectations and stuff I did thebeautiful thing of having such a highview on the moment was that rather thanme thinking I'm gonna chop her and get anew one it was like I'm gonna dig inI've been through brokenness before I'vebeen through darkness before I've seenhow bad life from get you ain't gonnaget that bad again and I'm gonna pressthrough and say you saw look at thevictories from the past and you sort ofrely on them for victories in the futureand so me my wife worked out ourdifferences in just a flatironwe're stronger now and more in love nowthan we'd ever be if we hadn't have gonethrough what we went through I'll behonest mate sometimes you come humblywere going on that woman she doesmulatto it and I'm sure if she was inthis room she'd say exactly the samething about me but I love it to bits manand I thinkwithout going through what we wentthrough we won't have what we have nowand suppose yeah I loved that mayor Ithink it's remembering past victories tobelieve that they'll be presentvictories written victories of the pastas a sword not because I want toelaborate on that in a second but justbefore that you were making me smallwhile you were saying that and I waskind of so I put my vulnerability hereI'm a very emotional person so I kind ofget emotional when I hear stuff let upbecause the way I view my wife and mymarriage is the same as you it's it's avery very important thing for me I was abit of a dad back at Union I always madea promise at the moment I get married Iwill do everything in my power to be thebest man that I can be and I so oftensee people who maybe stray or just dojust do things that I don't necessarilyagree with so for me at man-to-manhearing somebody who has that sense oflove and the way you look at your wifemay I hold my heart of team because it'simportant because behind every monthgood man there's a good woman and I'mdoing the stuff that I am fortunate todo now I mean as we speak now and werecord this my wife's at work bless herand my aim is to get her out of workvery soon but if I couldn't have done alot of the stuff I've done in my life ifit wasn't for my wife and I'm verygrateful I love just hearing yourtransformation because although you weredoing all those things in the past thisperson this genuinely amazing person wasalways in there and I'm just glad thatyou managed to find it just to touch onthe victories of the past so what I findthat so powerful was because there's aguy called David Goggins I'm not sure ifyou follow him but he's somebody who Ifollow quite quite a lot religiouslybasically but he mentioned somethingcalled a cookie jar and what he does isall of these he calls it like a jar offuck what he does is every time he'sbeen through shit in his life he puts itinto this imaginary jar of fuck rightand he calls it like the cookie jar andthen what happens is when he's facedwith adversity in life he thinks back tothat Johnny's at hold on a minute I'mthat same guy who's been through all ofthis and I can get visit and goingthrough now and I think you've you'vedone it in your own way you've said thevictories of the past will help yousecure victories of the future which ithink is just as powerful lesson so mayit's fantastic that I mean you don'teven argue there guys and yet you'repreaching the same stuff as this guywho's in millions which is why I sayeveryone's story matters because yourstory matters and it's gonna it's gonnainspire lots of people sothat's fantastic man I wish you and yourwife all the best it'd be great to gether on the show as well which means I'mvery interested yeah I'm sure she wouldbe yeah yeah yeah definitely I'll put itto anywhere she says definitely meyeah she's got great story I love itmate I'm just gonna switch gears againI'm just conscious obviously I'm therunning time as well so where you arecurrently now in your life and I knowyou from like a physical aspect in termsof like your boxing and stuff and beingon the streets you're not really afraidof much or at least it doesn't seem likeyou're afraidbut let me ask you the question right inthis moment right now what is yourbiggest fear hmm okayI mean so fear is also a vulnerablething because we put high value one onfaith I suppose the ante that would befearing it so the opposite of faith isfear so fear for me would be that I'vebeen giving this incredibly beautifullife and I make an absolute mess of it Idon't use every single day to do all Ican to give back to the garden and tothe communities that have built so muchinto me so my fear would be that I mightjust make a mess of things you know Ilove thatso it's a great message and I'mconfident knowing where you are now Iwouldn't have been confident secure togo up I'm confident that you'll do thatmate and you've got a good communityaround you you've got mutual friends andafter this you know I consider you afriend and if you ever need any helpfrom me by all these new reach I am morethan happy to sort it on my hand so onthe basis of that and obviously now youfound your calling and you just touchthat you want to make an impact or justdo the best you can basically would yousay that's your main motivation orinspiration that kind of keeps you keepsyou going every morning or isn'tanything else other than your wife yeahyeah there's a couple of things Isuppose I suppose having a fear issomething to kind of drag you down or itcan propel you forward yeah so like fearis faithful it's believed in theopposite to the lies that we sauce andtell ourselves and for me a great sourceof hope for the future and a drive is isreading the Bible the Word of God andthere's some things in there may youread anything in there for 2,000 yearsnow and like so there's a passion systemall things work together for good forthe good of those who love God andthat's like everyone's thought I've seenpeople with tattoos if it sayseverything happens for a reason it'ssomething that was written in the Bible2,000 years ago some of the stuff that'swritten in there about you know she'smight be transformed by the renewal ofyour mind think on things are abovethink on things that are holy and goodand pure and just training your mind tothink positively to think the best of anegative situation is so powerful so andso yes but for me like in the morningjust haven't you know 20 minutes half anhour an hour even just reading thatcrazy book that inspires you knowbillions of people the world around itthat's a real motivator for me and thenthere's those moments where you seesomeone else they get it and the lightcomes on absolutely and I'm in you can II now work from a Christian company wework with kids that care system okay Imean you think my life's but these kidsmight day something like child sexualexploitation backgrounds and severe drugabuses from young age all kinds ofdomestic abuse and violence and stufflike kids that have been rejected bytheir families and their parents theirloan Society and they come through thesystem and it's basically teaching themat the one end to tidy a bedroom and tocook and clean and the other end tofunction in society and to see them justtake little steps it's beautiful and tobe involved in that kind of a processit's it's beautiful to do that sort ofthing is great it's goodyeah the motivator ultimately it'sliving not for yourself or for othersthere's a great power in buying intoyourself and when you know you no longerneed to let society think your yourwritten you've got it and you don't needto prove you accept yourself then youcan live for others and that's beautifulme Wow it is may may be may beabsolutely and you know I don't discountanything but I just worked so whatreally hit me there was a you might notknow this but I've got siblings who havebeen in the foster care so three mysiblings are whiteJosh Coyle and Kelsey and they camethrough the foster care system but thenwe went through guardianship so theybasicallythe family and my younger sister Illyais adopted as well so that was one ofthe reasons where why I personally wentinto social it because I want you to bethe best damn social worker in the worldand change the world because the life wehave made is a million times better thanthe life these kids have had in killyeah and for you to be doing such agreat thing now I'm just I'm so gratefulthat one you found like however youfound it but two you're also giving backbecause you're gonna be a massivepositive influence on these dude I loveit mate we've got a lot more in commonthan I thought other than boxing yeahwhat thing is I went into social work tocut a long story short because I was thebreaking as a project manager in LondonI was only more money than I knew whatto do it but there comes a time whereyou need something more than money toget you out of bed in the morning and itwas always I just want to help peopleand I send my siblings go through somuch shit that I was like I'm gonnachange the world but then when I gotinto social is the one thing that let medown was there's so much bureaucracythat you can't really change it thatmuch so what I've done is thought okaylet me use my presence and my brand andmy marketing and influences and let'stry and change the worldholistic Lee so reaching out to peoplelike you you've got a community reachingout to community centres and I'm tryingto make an impact where nobody say to meoh you've got a gold do some paperwork9205 I'm I'm doing this on my own and Iwant to kind of change the world as keyshares that sounds my own way but Ican't do it by myself which is why Ineed people like yourselves and othersto share this you'll really get togetherso I love it mate and just on that notethe buzzer has gone off so this is thepart of the show where we getinterrupted we change the script wechange the pattern and we're just goingto go into a quick five 60 secondsQ&A if you're ready yeah sounds good inthree two oneokay buddy the ability to fly or beinvisible or invisible for money or fame[Music]Netflix on YouTube YouTube Coke or Pepsioh would you rather know how you willdie or when you were dying when love ormoney love summer or winter summer yourfavorite place in the whole wideright here and right now love itwould you rather speak all of the actlanguages in the world will be able tospeak to animals all the languages ifyou could abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be darkness your favoritesong ever oh man Christmas is aChristian song called how great howgreat is our God not for me volumes readminds or predict the future predict thefuture okay okay but time is up so soyou work with money didn't you at theend rather than fame the money or fame Ithink I went from money in the endbecause yeah with money you can do somuch for other people I love it and Ithink sometimes Fame can get in the wayKlein it because means is something thatdrives parade and elegance for me personyou know something I have to check on alot absolutely I love it me I love itokay so we're gonna go back into theinterview style of the questions againnow like I said you keep taking thewords out of my mouth at the minute soin relation to a reflection I always sayhindsight's a wonderful thing and uponreflecting we can always think of wayswhere we can do things quicker or get toa certain place earlier or easier but Ialways say the journey teaches us a lotas well and yeah it's something that Ifeel everything happens for a reasonwhich is kind of what you touch them onso if you can go back to say one momentin your life where maybe you werestruggling or you really found a turningpoint and you could fast track all yourprogress knowing exactly what you knownow what would that time be and whatwould you actually say okay um I thinkthis is difficult is fun I think becauseyou said you put a lot of emphasis onthe journey already I think it's thejourney that makes you who you areand so I mean I think I had to go topresent I won't want to not I've gone toprison because I think that was suchcrucial integral part of my journey toexperience what I experienced I wouldn'twant to stop myself and go in there so Idon't think I would be Who I am todaybut I think it's just something so it'simpolite I mean we always look inward sooften and when we look in words when Ihave people upset and his diet is brokenthen we look out but everything else Ilook so much better I think just lookingup just the words look up I love that Imean personally I've obviously been aman of faith I'd say just look up mm-hmmbut the journey they say it's crewit's hard it is may it molds you intothe person that you are mice well Isuppose it's more for the fact that thereason I always ask this question isbecause I wouldn't change your journey Iwish you suffered less pain in your lifepersonally but at the same time I'mgrateful that you've been through yourjourney and you come out the other sidebecause mate you're gonna do amazingthings in the world and I truly believethat but I just feel that if say forinstance there was another carbon copyof yourself but we can just take away alittle bit of their pain maybe and alittle bit of their hardship if therewas something that we could necessarilysay for I take your own I take youranswer on board I think it's fantasticanswer so thank you thank you so there'sonly really one more question that Ialways like to ask my guests for thelisteners and that is basically if sayfor instance in 150 years time we are nolonger about and you know here's a bookon the table and this book is about youso what would that book be called andwhat would the blurb at the back of ittell us about Ashley Nixon I stuffed methat what would the book be Colin yeahlet's go from the blimp cuz I've thrownthat in myself here from darkness tolight no matter how dark has been thisjourney of darkness will turn to I don'tknow it's hard to think of a blurb on itbecause blows becoming like trying tocapture all of what we've said orparagraph it's I think no matter howdark and how broken things can get thereis always a way outand this story will show you the way outwill help you to be inspired to as wellI love it something along them lines Idon't know I have to pee I love it Ilove that and just thinking out loudwhat I would call it just on this Iwould call it that's coming fromsomebody who does it necessarily followGod but I just think the lessons thatyou just taught me today the lesson thatI live by anyway so it's kind of you'resaying stuff dumb like hold on a minuteis that in the Biblereally and that's fascinating for melike I'm always eager to learn more andtry and become a better person so Iappreciate you for that I just want toend this now because I think it'simportant May and I know you're notalways on social media selling yourstory I always try and get people tosell their stories rather than you knowhaving to see people who are sellingcourses andall that shit on social media I thinkit's more important people sellthemselves and they sell their truestory and what they can offer to theworld and I think you've got somethingto offer so if there's one place thatpeople can connect with you what wouldbe the best way that people can reachout to you I suppose Facebook he's theone for me like I wasn't always onsocial media was always into that sortof thing but I recognized it is a placewhere people connect so powerfully soyou know I mean and people share so muchof themselves on there and so I've got aFacebook account on mine avid post thereis a bit more of my story on there forpeople to recap over if they want to aswell so yeah it suppose Facebookdefinitely and I don't mind peoplesaying formal questions the one okayfantastic so for anyone listening pleasedo reach out it's actually mixing onFacebook I'll put all the links andeverything in the show notes so you canliterally download it what I would justsay and again I'm not trying to add workor anything it's just the kind ofthought off the top of my head is youcould potentially and maybe this issomething in the future mate is maybestart a community it could be called alittle company could be called whateveryou want to call it right and I think ifyou can get people who may be Christiansmay be believers or people that havesinned such a dark place because I'lltell you something there's there's ahell of a lot more people than justyourself you have company thistransformation or or need thistransformation I feel that like you saidFacebook's very powerful maybe thinksomewhere you create this a nice safehaven for people where they feel safeand I just think you've got a greatmessage mate it's been an absolutepleasure speaking to you and yourselveslooting honestly it's been brilliant Ilove to get you back on the podcastagain maybe with your missus or yourmissus on a separate one because I feellike everyone's got a story and I justwant to thank everyone for tuning in asalways thanks for listening and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a 5-starreview over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 4 - F*ck it by Joshua AsquithJoshua Asquith, is a genuinely loveable guy. He was a talented athlete destined to do great things, which he did. A World title in New York for kickboxing, semi professional football, acting in Macbeth to modelling he had the world at his feet.Until the death of his two close friends suddenly rocked his world. He then got hit with Quinsy illness along with more health complications. But with a mindset of a true champion, my UK Rock (a nickname I give him) has found a way to control what he can control.His mindset. He adopts a F*ck it mentality but the most beautiful thing about his story is, he sees himself as “ The luckiest man in the world”.I urge you to follow his story and watch this space as he comes out of his comfort zone to prove that physical or mental challenges should never stop you from being average or giving up.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josh_asquith/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into the show today so this episode offind your voice has really changed myperspective and I suppose this is one ofthe reasons I wanted to do this showbecause I believe everyone has a storyand there's some powerful stories outthere that just not being told now I'mvery grateful for my guests coming onthe show because although I know himthrough the property world I had no ideaabout the other things that were goingon in his life now at such a young agehe has done more things then more thingsthan I've done and he's done things thatI suppose I wish I could have done butmore importantly than that I'm moresignificant to this story and I hope youcan extract this from the end of thepodcast is how he's persevered throughso much adversity and when I say so muchadversity I mean there's a point in thepodcast where I've kind of had to stophim listing the amount of stuff thathe's going through for the simple factthat why it was hard to comprehend but -I felt like the message was alreadythere and I'm here to get him back at alater stage so we can obviously explorethat a little bit more but I rememberedand somewhere in the podcast you'regonna hear this I refer to him as the UKrock now I'm not talking about thatstick of candy that you get up that polepleasure Beach I'm talking about rockersin the Dwayne Johnson because he givesme inspiration or watch him on Instagramand it gets me to the gym in the morningit makes me kind of eradicate my excusesbut this gentleman that I spoke to doesthe same because he's battling far worsethen Dwayne the rock Johnson atsuch as young age as well and his storyis still being written I've managed tobring him out of his comfort zone toshare his story so hopefully you guyscan appreciate that and I do appreciateyou time because it's difficultsometimes sharing some of the storiesand there are some points in thispodcast which I don't even think he'sfamily knew about as well so I'm gonnastop rambling and let's check out thisepisodeokay so firstly I just want to begin bywelcoming Joshua to the show so how'reyou doing today my friend very goodthank you you yeah not too bad thank younot too bad so I just want to say thankyou for taking time out of your dayfirstly and I've briefly introduced youin the introduction myself but I thinkit's important for the listeners to geta feel for who you really are and tohear from yourself so if you wouldn'tmind if you could just explain how youbasically progress through life andended up where you are now okayso well first of all thank you forhaving me no you're welcome anythinglike this before so this should be fun Ithink it's probably easiest to startwhere I am now it's not a particularlylong journey but it's quite a packed oneI'm 24 I'm Josh I'm a physiotherapistand I'm currently just hopefully gonnabe a property investor soon all thingsbeing well God willing you will be sostart another child I am I was reallyreally lucky I had a really nice mothershe gave me everything she works allhours of the day so much so that for thefirst few years of my life I really sawthat much of her cuz she was always justkind of working hard and slaving away togive me and my sisters a good life I hadan amazing step dad and I had aintermittent real biological fatherthroughout reels a bad word my Stefan ismy real dad book and biological fatherand I saw every couple of weekends andcame down to Birmingham because that'swhere his family are so I got to have alittle bit of my black heritage a mixedrace by the way because you can't reallysee it no I Rachel whatever you want tocall it and played a lot of sportsbeing a kid through school and I am alsodid a an African recreation of Macbethwith some really famous actors which wasreally interesting experience althoughit kind of fit with some of the thingsthat I went to go and do in my teens soin my teens I am through school wasfairly normal with the exception of Iwas fighting as a kickboxer for GreatBritainso from kind of why I went whentraveling around New Zealand with myfamily in year eight of school so I wasprobably 13 got back start playing somefootball got given some trials for alocal football academy near me and theywere preseason trials so I went throughGoogle to see if I could find somewherethat keep me fit over this summer foundthis place advertised as fitnesskickboxingI fell in love with it very quickly andfrom then on I kind of never went to thetrials never pursued it that muchfurther and started fighting I had myfirst fight fortunately or unfortunatelyfor me it was with the current worldchampion from my age group and my weightand did really well- just somehow scrape a victory off himhe's now one of my really good friendsactually and then from then on I kind ofthought well maybe I'm not too bad atthis so stuck it out eventually carriedon fighting every week around thecountry and then ended up fighting forGreat Britain which was really nice gotto travel around the world then got myfirst proper world title in New Yorkwhich was kind of cool went out therethen I came home went back to school fora few dayswhen then we're back to training andthen got called up to go and fight Ithink that my next one was I picked upin Florida mm-hmm then I did I went tofight for a European title in Romebrought my toe in the finals it's kindof like knockout stages to get therebrought my toe in the final came reallyclose second then yeah so I kind of justcarried on traveling got to see somewhat got to see some really really coolplaces like Sicily Serbiaand then I managed to keep up my gradesthrough school so kept my mom happy keptmy stepdad happy and then I got to about17 and it all started to change quiterapidly from there can I just stop youjust for a quick second just before wego into that so obviously you've had avery very dull boring life and not notreally done much but they're just somany questions that it's almost likewatching a listen to a movie so I justwanna ask you a couple of questions justquickly then would jump straight backinto where you weigh the cost so youplayed Macbeth it was that sort of likewas it a school role or was it sort ofan external audition or oh yeah sorry soit was kind of there was an arm to theyoung Shakespeare come okay they werekind of doing some diverse work theywere travelling around the country andthere's some adult actors in it as welland I just I don't know how I came abouthaving this audition but ended upauditioning for this role and then I wasin a park in Salford called Horton parkwith my mum just having a picnic and shegot a phone call saying that I'd beenaccepted to play the role of youngMacduff Wow all right Mac Duff sorry soit was Macbeth that was the math wasthat play my role was young Magda rightokay shows how much I know aboutShakespeare okay have you done any sortof acting since then or that was thelast of my kind of theater acting I wentI wanted to go back into it and then gotsidetracked by football but then when Iturned about 17 mm-hmm I actually know16 when I left school I went back intoacting kind of by accident okay andanother one I've got here is kickboxingso I grew up as a massive massive VanDamme fan fan I'm not sure if you if youknow him I do I'm fantasticI would have loved to have donekickboxing and so kick box for GreatBritain that's fantastic but then youwent on to football as well yesWow okay out of the two if you have tochoose one and if you could have pursuedit for the rest of your career which onewould you have gone withvery very very good question I wouldn'tkick boxing I would say okay yeah I'mpassionate I love football I'm reallyreally passionate about football whatkickboxing gave me a and kind ofextended family around the world hmmand in terms of the places you've beenyou mentioned Sicily with what was whatwould you say was the greatest placethat you've seen oh the most interestingplace I've seen was Serbia I think ohwow why'd you say that because where westayed we got as with the Great Britainteam we got pop in a five-star hotel andthis five-star hotel was kind of like ait was built within a mall or the mallwas it built within the hotel I don'treally know which one but it was hugebut as he looked across the road you sawall the old war torn houses it still hadbullet holes in them and things likethat and it was a reality shock it wasone of those places where you have toget police escort around with you fromBritain and oh wow that must've beensome experience yeah it was sorry yeah Ijust had all these questions thinking ohmy god this guy's done a lot we're noteven at 17 yet so yeah sorry if you wantto continue from 17 you said it went alittle bit downhill yeah so it didn't gostraight downhill it kind of seems apeak fairly early I was playing footballand we're playing an elite called theNorthwest Youth Alliance which isessentially the the Youth League of thesemi-pro football teams around theNorthwest and it was kind of like thehighest non professionalsemi-professional level you could be atbelow 18 if you weren't in one of thosePro slash semi-pro first team selectionsso I was playing there and having areally really good time really enjoyingmyself and I'd also signed to a modelingagencyat that point for a little bit of extramoney and there is between shoots wherehour between castingswell I'd actually been cast there wasthe occasional day of extra work and oneday I got a phone call saying do youwant to do a day of extra work and Ithought kind of thought well it beatsgoing to college so yeah did a day ofextra work up to do my college workthere anyway just quickly jump in onthat if anyone out there listeningthis says they've got no time to doanything extra I just not gonna believehim because I don't know how you'll fitin all this in sorry carry on me ofcourse and so I kind of did a few moredays of extra work and then it kind ofjust evolved into doing a few one-lineroles in different TV programs and thenI joined then after that I thought maybeI should learn what I'm doing soenjoying like a drama group that'sreally well-known in the northwest andjoined a drive during an acting agencyand was being put forward for somereally good roles and at that time I wasalso just about to hit sponsorship fromone of the kind of biggest martial artsfight companies that were around at thetime so it's doing really well asplaying well at football my grades aregoing well at college and then all of asudden I got back to got back to collegeand I was just having a few days offfrom everything that was doing just totry and recover recuperate and I wasdriving from my mom's to my Nan'swhich was not very far away less than amile away and I remember getting a phonecall down a one-way street and Ianswered the phone on speakerphone andchucked it on the front sea and it wasjust somebody in floods of tears and Ithought why are you calling me in footto tears and it was a phone call to saythat one of my oldest ever friends hadgot meningitis and died in the nighthe'd got it the day before and he hedied in the night and I am so I kind ofjust stopped the car and couldn't moveit mmm I had to put the phone down tocall my mom and ask her would she comewalk for the car and drive it around tomy Nan's mm-hmmand I think that kind of I think thatwas probably the start of maybe it was astress or something in my in my lifethat started maybe it was something thestraw that broke the camel's back fromwhen I was carrying too much from do ifI'm acting fighting playing footballdoing my college work oh I also had ajob at McDonald's which is just in yourspare a few hours yeah so it's kind oflike and now I was where I should haveprobably beenleave I was I was working at McDonald'sfor a little bit of extra money and I'myes I'll then I kind of a few weeksafter that I was grading for my blackbelt and missed it quite a few timesthough I'd have to go and do my blackbelt and then a fight had come up andI'd take that instead because thought Iwas probably more important as part waythrough my black garden I got this kindof it was just a sore throat and myblack back was actually down nearTelford somewhere and I live in inBolton which is I don't know two hoursaway or something like thatand I was and I got this sore throat andwelcome the next day no tonsillitis andI thought nothing of it going to collegeand have some salt water couple ofparacetamol see how it gets on all thetime I was kind of like trying to dealwith my my grief so I thought wellactually maybe just kind of felt badbecause I was in a bad headspaceand it was coming up to exam time andall the rest of it and I am so it neverreally went away so I went to the doctorwho's got some antibiotics it clearedaway for a couple of days came back andthat process kind of repeated about Ithink it was 14 15 times I got someslices in a rowbetween going to the doctors gettingpainkillers and I'm one of thoseoccasions I am my at my mum's house thefloors are on different levels it's areally old house and my mum's on thevery top floor my bedroom is on themiddle floor and I kind of there was apoint where I hadn't eaten anything forabout ten days I've lost 11 kilos inbody weight and I was just lay in my bedjust sweating and in agony and Icouldn't I went to take a tiny codeinetablet to kill some of the pain and Ithink it closed what little was left ofmy throat so I couldn't so I kind ofcrawled upstairs mom or dad's room andthat's kind of last thing I rememberso I got the hospital and they were theysaid that you were very lucky becauseyou were if you'd come any later thenthat kind of would have been the end ofyou on that's what it said to my mom Iwasn't particularly awake for of courseyeah and this was what when your17:18 yeah 17 on the brink of 18 soeventually that cleared up happenedagain and it was because of somethingcalled Quincy's which are kind ofabscesses which sit behind these tonsilsand they're filled with just bacteriawhich when they burst they give you theycan give you some really serious sepsisbut Maya just burst so I was lucky to bein the hospital as mine burst so I wasluckier than most that get that then ithappened again about six months latercut the rest of that story short becauseit's quite a long story of me being outis there a reason why that happened oris it just literally like a bacterialinfection or was it a matter of youbeing perhaps rundown or everythingbecause you were doing about 300 thingsa day I think maybe it was being sorundown and then being stressed becausewhat I forgot to mention was in thisother time there was a close friend ofmine it was a female friend of mine thathadn't died sushi she had a headachejust never with a headache and it turnsout that she had a brain tumor so oneside kind of recovered from the coupleof rounds of Quincy's and my differentbouts of tonsillitis I am I had 18months of what they call post-viralfatigue syndrome which is essentiallyjust anybody's and there's kind of likeI didn't have the energy to do anythingfor the first six months if I wanted toget from my bed to downstairsI would have to have somebody eitherside of me because my legs weren'treally strong enough to carry me fromanywhere to anywhere and if if I so Icould manage kind of a longer landing tothe toilet because I could crawl it'dtake me a while so it'd be like I'm thefirst woman black right set off nowbecause if you need a way then you wantto get caught shortso about I had about six to twelvemonths of not being able to kind of beleft on my own for too long just becauseI couldn't do anything for myself reallyI couldn't I couldn't struggle to liftmy shoulders from the bed it felt likesomebody had nailed big nails throughthe front of my shoulders andinto sorry if I went quiet because I waslooking at my shoulders just rememberingnice line into the bed then after that Ikind of thought oh well kind of on themend here now so I started to get alittle bit fitter and I thought rightI'll go back to football training so myteam were nice enough to have me backwent back to football training minusthree training sessions of me doing kindof 25% of what the rest of the team weredoing and then I got home at one pointand my left knee just ballooned I don'tknow if anybody's ever injured their ACLbut I've seen one but it's kind of likeyou need your swells up goes purple butand I thought or mine hasn't gone purpleso maybe it's something else but Icouldn't it was so strong I couldn't fitmy trousers on the next day so I thoughtoh well I'll ice it and blah blah blahrested it never went away went to thedoctors they gave me someanti-inflammatories it never went awaythey sent me to a consultant who did asome keyhole surgery never went away andthen so they sent me to RheumatologyDepartment to see what was going onthey sent give me lots of blood testsand nothing came back positive theydrained the fluid couldn't figure outwhat it was as soon as they drained thefluid it came back every single time andduring this process it lasted about ninemonths of me going back and forth allthis time I felt really lethargic andjust not like the old me that could doall those other things I could barelyfind the energy to juice go to collegeor to just go and well I got fired frommy McDonald's job for being too ill andso oh sorry you feel strange bringing itall back I can only imagine so yeah fromfrom there kind of then as they kind offigured out what was going onit sort of deteriorated and it spreadfrom my knee to my left hip and then Icouldn't really use my left leg verywell a lot of the time which theythought caused a problem in my right hipturns out it was just the same problemand then it moved up from my hiptwo joints in my back and then it spreadup through the majority of my back itspread into my fingers spread into mytoes and it got to a point where as Igot to a kind of I got through mya-levels got really good grades somehowsomebody was looking over me gone to aphysiotherapy course as that kind of allwas happening I was just getting worseand worse and kind of more and I don'tsay disabled because it's not a greatword but I was I wasn't able to do thethings that to do anything and kind ofalways felt like I had the flu my eyeswere always on fire and it messed withthe way that my urinary function workedand all kinds of other problems and thenit got to a point where I justcompletely intermittent that completelycould not move so in my second year ofuniversity at the end of it I am I justthose days where probably three days outof the week I was bed bound anyway thisis getting probably getting bored no noit's not to be honest I mean in theintro which everyone hears and one ofthe reasons for this podcast is tobasically and to combat people's excusesbecause I believe that we always lookand we always think the grass is greeneron the other side or we've got it worsethan other people and we always give usour some rationale or reason in what wecan't particularly do something and thewhole premise behind this podcast itselfis to hear people who have gone throughsuch adversity but are still getting onwith it and just because at the end ofthe day there's a guy interviewed theother day and he mentioned you've gottwo choices in life you either gobackwards or you go forwards and mm-hmfor me it's inspiring to hear you sayall this because even myself and I'mguilty of this myself is I'm known asthe guy with the really poor immunesystem because I always catch a coldI've got a tissue in my hand as werespeaking now it's the kind of person Iam I'm always known for the guy withKleenex and people laugh I should haveshares with them but I've I've alwayssuffered but at the same time I'vealmost become a victim of my own storyas well because I mean I'm here tellingpeople they shouldn't make excuses orthe stories we tell ourselves butdictate our lives and I'm sitting herefeeling sorry for myself because I getcold easily and I've just listened toyour story and I'm just thinking I'vegot it so easy and and I'm sure I'm surepeople listening to this up it I thinkin the same because when I first saw youas wellI always recognized someone who keeps ingood shape and looks after him andyou've got very good physique you lookwhile you look like you eat welltraining well and you've got all thisgoing on in the background and up untilthis conversation now where I'veactually asked you specifically if youwould have mind opening up just fortheir listeners you've never mentionedyou never mention any of these excusesso I think it's admirable to be honestmate and it's inspiring so I wouldn'tfor one second think it's boring I thinkthank you people should hear this andpeople should take inspiration from itbecause I'd be very shocked if someonelistening to this has had that muchtrauma and not to mention at the age of17 you've also lost two of your bestfriends I mean I I've dealt with griefand I'm sure many of my listeners andeven some of the people I've interviewedhave dealt with a lot of grief and lossof family but I was what 26 27 wouldn'twhen it happened to me I don't know if Ihad the emotion of stability at 17 if Ihad gone through what you'd gone throughto manage the same way so pleasecontinuehonestly it's inspiring me okay as longas I'm not boring anybody no I'll makebasically I managed to get throughUniversity with a few other challengeswhich I'll touch on later but he got toa point it kind of everything that wasgoing through reared its head kind oflast year so up through all the stillfrom kind of age 17 to age 24 yeah 24 Ikind of I was kind of plowing on yes butnothing ever felt right like I neverfelt like I had the energy to do what Iwas doing but I was doing it anyway butI never felt like I could my attentionspan dwindled massively and and it wasjust hard to kind of couldn't have makea plan because I didn't know whether Iwas gonna need my crook shoes or whetherI was gonna be bed bound or whether Iwas gonna be okay to go and walksomewhereand it wasn't all doom and gloom withinthis because at one point I was onreally really high dose of steroidsand I felt like Superman for about sothat explains your physique then 2021and I just managed to kind of keep itfrom there I suppose I got I got luckythere but throughout all of this I waskind of despite the fact that I couldn'tsoexplains what really said last year oreven this year as opposed to a certainextent it kind of I got to a point whereI was on my crutches for two or threedays a week I was stuck in bed for twoor three days a week then the othercouple of days a week I was kind of Iwas I wouldn't say okay but I was goodcompared to the other bits so sometimesI'd have a couple of days where I wasgood sometimes I'd have one daysometimes out of four days I've neverreally know so I couldn't really makeany particular plans and I got to apoint where it was creeping up my spineso much that driving to work as a I'dalways be on my crutches at work as aphysiotherapist which came with its ownset of challenges not one not only beingthe jokes of all maybe you need a physioor can I help you where there's kind oflike eight speed bumps between there onthe route that I take to the clinicwhere I work and see most of my patientsand those peoples are only you couldeasily do thirty miles an hour over themand not particularly feel it but my backwas so sore that by the end of thosespeed bumps there was a I'd have to turnleft a junction some traffic lights andI would have to pull the car over at thetraffic lights loved to get out of thecar just to try and catch my breathbecause I was so I was so winded andI've broke I've been kicked in the ribsand broken themsemia I've had all sorts of pain book Iwas in so much painevery day going over these people I justhad to pull the car over and just gaspedfor air just to try and just so I couldfinish my journey to work Wowall the time while this was happening Iwas trying different medications whichweren't helping with the pain but one ofthem is a it's quite a commonly useddrug in rheumatology it's calledmethotrexate and it's in thechemotherapy family and it the sideeffects that fairly similar you don'ttend to lose your hair but the sideeffects such as vomiting and so I wouldtake my medication on Monday and spendTuesday and Wednesday kind of over thetoilet bowl when I could get there andand I would have to excuse myself frommy patients or I'd actually just takedays away from clinic or I'd just breakinto random sweats while I was talkingto people and just almost saturatemyself in sweat as a as a side effect ofthe medication and I am I had some otherhealth problems that going on at thesame time so kind of 18 months ago theyfound I had an x-ray just to track theprogress of the disease through myjoints and they found a tumor in my hipso for the past few years with the pastfew years for the past few months beingunder investigation for some cancer inmy hip all of the medications that hadbeen taken it kind of slowed my kidneyfunction down to below 20% so thosetalks of me needing some specialistkidney treatment or potentially gettingto the point where I'd need a kidneytransplant if things didn't pick up andyeah so that's kind of my health story Ikind of lost for words to be honest ermI think more importantly just currentlyI wish you all the best with the cancerscare hopefully is just a scare I knowcancer has affected millions of peopleacross the world is is broken through myfamily as well so mm-hmm it's somethingthat I don't know I just have a bad badtaste in my mouth when I think of cancerso hope hope to God and I'm not areligious man but I pray you know yourecovery I think you've been I think youcould do with a little bit of luck mateto be honest because you've sort ofcollected everybody's illnesses and howyou still manage to keep smiling andstill keep going and you're not sittingthere making excuses and I'm actuallyamazed because lucksaid earlier this is the first timewe've spoken really in-depth about aboutyour life and stuff I mean looking fromthe outside it's a completely differentperspective I mean nobody would thinkthat you've been through half of thisand and I'm sure you could probablyspeak for another 20 minutes on some ofthe stuff that you're experiencing andI'm not trying to move past that becauseI think it's important but I think thelesson is here already that peopleshould really just feel grateful foreverything that we have and it's thelittle things in lifewe're often chasing some sort ofdestination in terms of it's going togive us happiness when we've goteverything that we technically need ifwe just look at it in the right way tobe happy now I've got a lot ofadmiration for you mate you're young aswell so you keep going and hopefullythings will just start turning backaround for you I believe that yourthoughts matter as well so I'm not quitesure how you are in terms of your yourmindset and stuff but I do believe andI've done a bit of research I know I'mnot an expert that how we speak toourselves can dictate our physiologymm-hmm I know for myself for example ifwe use the analogy that I used to bescared of dogs and if somebody mentioneda dog for example my physiology wouldchange I would almost mmm as if the dogwas there and I think here I thinkpeople are aware of sometimes theirthoughts it might not necessarily belike a spider or a snake but sometimeswe're giving ourselves these fearfulthoughts that are affecting ourphysiology so hopefully you're workingon your mindset I'm sure you are I knowyou're doing pretty much everything elseso hopefully you're developing on thatand if you wouldn't mind if I could justbecause I'm fascinated by how you keepgoing and I'm sure listeners areprobably thinking firstly how is thisguy doing all this in 24 hours and thensecondly with all these complicationsthat you've got but if you could justexplain a day in the life of your lifenow so say for instance from the momentyou wake up to the moment you go tosleep because I just think it'simportant because if there are peoplethat out there making excuses for whatthey can't do stuff or they're justfeeling a bit under the weather andmyself included in that I'm not perfectthank you just how of course yeah so Idon't have a set routine because I'venever been able to have a set routinebecause I don't know whether I couldactually make our bed to do my day ornot but I docertain things that that do regardlessof whatever condition I wake up in andthe first thing I do is I wake up andcontrary to what everybody tells you isI checked my phone and I checked myphone in fear that somebody has sent mesomething that would be something Icouldn't get over maybe I've lost allthat I wouldn't like to see maybe I'velost a family member or something and ifthat's not the case then I go straightinto believing that I'm the luckiest manI know which puts a smile on my faceAbsalon I'll put something I put somenice music on usually it's a song calledthe fire by John Legend and the roots itinspires me that song and or somethingby Stevie Wonder or something justsomething half-baked something that I'veheard and something that keeps me in agood place and then if I can move I'llget up and I'll have a dance to thissong well nobody's watching absolutelyright luck cheers me up a bit and then Ilove that attack my day home usually ifI haven't some kind of thing planned inthe morning I will be awake two and ahalf hours before it if possible justbecause if I'm if I wake up and I'mincredibly sore and stiff then sometimesI can feel a little bit better in two totwo to three hours time something likethat so I just give myself that gap forjust in case but that's kind of my onlydaily routine I suppose okay okay and interms of exercise and stuff I mean Ithink you've done enough exercise by theway to last a lifetimebut if we are talking about exercisebecause I believe and I always try andpromote with my clients as well thatexercise is fundamental because you canliterally take some of the the mainthings from that in terms of likeresilience and building calluses andstuff into anything so do you still areyou still able to exercise maybe two orthree times a week or do you kind ofknock that on the head and look look atmore on how you're feeling and thenassess the day as you go on if Iphysically can do something then I willdo itI believe that rule that I have so if itmeans that I have to crawl to a place todo some exercisewhere my bottom half doesn't work and mytop half does then I'll do what I canwith my top half Wow and that is my onlyrule so sometimes it's just my left sidewhich I can't stand on or can't use orthen my right side is perfectly lookingI'm looking after two sides and thatside will work or if it's my right sidethat doesn't work then maybe my leftside is useful so I try my new actuallyhave a mutual friend that put my stateis about fitness goals and my fitnessgoal for this year is to do whatever ittakes to be well enough to beconsistently able to go to the gym anddo what I wanttwice a week by February 21st so you canhome it to that I've already made you'veactually got me feeling guilty nowbecause I did some cardio in the morningand I was planning on doing a legsession around 12:00 and I had a littlebit of Dom's and I was like now I'm notgonna do it and I wish I'd recorded thisearly because may inspire me to get myass to the gym because I feel bad nowbut I just loved what you said then I'vejust made a note of it I'm lucky enoughto have two sides and I think that'sincredible because that's perspectiveand I suppose maybe you've kind of beenforced into this reality I think a lotof people go through adversity and itmakes them stronger and they do verywell on the flip side you get people whogo through adversity and they just sitthere and feel sorry for themselves ahole their whole life you also haveanother set of people I believe on amacro level who don't really necessarilyhave the adversity or haven'texperienced it yet and they're kind ofwaiting for it they're kind of waitingfor that wake up wake-up calland I just wish that they could get somesort of inspiration or motivation orwhatever you want to call it fromsomebody like yourself because like likeyou mentioned previously like with withthe death of your your friend and likelife could just be taken away tomorrowor your own capabilities I mean you werein an extremely talented athlete and allof a sudden now you're kind of verygrateful just to be able to go to thegym twice and I just find it thatsometimes we think I will leave it tilltomorrow we'll leave it to next year andthat's not promised it's it's a shameyou don't actually actually I'm nottrying to give you another job here butit's a shame you don't you don't youdon't post more oftenabout your life and story because I'lltell you what you didn't fire a lot morepeople because I get inspired by peoplelike say for instance the rock and Ithink the whole world loves the Rockieskind of like the ultimate guy andsometimes you feel like you can't bebothered to do something you'll see youstay ascent boom you're off but foryourself to get there mate you are youare actually my UK rock at the minute sothat's a new name for you so keep it upbut if you do get time I think the worldwould love to hear a little bit moreabout you and hopefully this episode aswell will give give them a little bitmore of an insight into into your storybecause it's fascinating so far mereally enjoyed it and I've also got aI've just made a note I need to listento the fire by John so that's someonenext list I'm gonna move it over and I'mgonna move it over to fears at theminute you seem kind of unbreakable tome but if I was to ask you what yourbiggest fear is given that you've beenthrough so much alreadywould that be I thought thought long andhard about this question and I mean I'mgonna give you a bit of round the housesanswer and so I'm kind of scared ofeverything there's not many things inlife that doesn't scare mekind of walking down the street scaresme to an extent but by that same virtuethere's nothing really that scares mebecause everything seems to scare me anequal amount so I'm not gonna be pirateif I'm not paralyzed by a paralyzingcondition I'm not gonna be paralyzed bymy fears especially if I'm scared ofeverything in everybody so there's notreally anything that scares meother than mediocrity I suppose I don'tparticularly believe that I was put hereto be mediocre and fall into the crowdand to be and just to not make adifference to anybody else's life so Ithink not filling that purpose that Ibelieve I've held and that's kind ofscares me I love that well in thisconversation may I feel like I just feelcloser to you as a person now I don'thaven't you opened up and I've got a lotmore respect not that I never had anymore respect anyway that kind of comeout the wrong way but generallylistening to your story andunderstanding what you said I've got somuch admiration for you and I was I sithere sometimes and I I do a lot of selftalking mm-hmm what I always do is I wassafer in somewhere can I always give myself his self talk like I'm the baddeston the planet for example it's kind oflike a David Goggins thing love it whoelse is working at 5 or 5 a.m. in themorning and now all of a sudden I knowwhat I'm gonna be doing in the morningI'm gonna be thinking Joshua's work youknow he's ill he's got about six jobs todo he's gonna go to Mackey's and weapply for a job because he's bored Ibetter get going so I'm May hats off toyou honestly I salute you thank you sonormally at this stage I kind of jump inand ask people about adversity and and Idon't even know where to start with youmate because I think you've had obstacleafter obstacle after obstacle that youyou seem to be facing but but I'm gonnaask you anyway because I'm sure there'sthat there's a lesson here for thelisteners here that they can take awayso if you could just tell me about atime that you faced great adversitysomething that you haven't maybementioned at the minute and how youpersevered through it and then if youcould just explain the lessons and whathe's taught you because I think someonelike yourself who's given given thatexample it's gonna mean a lot more thansomebody just reading a book or readinga quote yeah so and I'm gonna pick aperiod of a couple of months in my lifewhere everything kind of went a littlebit wrong I'm gonna choose the Christmasof the end of my second year atuniversity and so they'd reached a pointwhere as I've mentioned before I wasn'tparticularly fit enough to go and workas a I would have worked as a waiter orsomething because that's what I've donein my bits where I was fitting like myfirst year Union College and there was apoint where I wasn't fit enough to doany of that my student loan wasn'tparticularly covering my rent at allI had a bursary to train which didn'twhich covered me to eat and a few of mybills but I was kind of like 1999 poundsinto a 2,000 pound overdraft and it wasabout the Christmas and it was aboutChristmastime so I was kind of I askedmy during that time as well I should saythat my um my stepdad had left my mom soand just because they parted ways atwhich meant that I was kind of the onethat was there to kind of I was up till4:00 in the morning with my mom or withmy sisters who were just kind of alldevastated by it and at the same time Ideadlines to me etc and and all thattime I had bills that I couldn't pay soit was kind of a point where I had askedmy mom for Christmas could I have somemoney to buy my younger and my oldersisters and some Christmas presentsthere's otherwise they wouldn't have gotanything from me and I would never havethem miss out just because I'dmismanaged my money or whatever and soall the time whilst this was going on mymy nan on my mom's side had got aserious case of rapidly deterioratingoutsiders where we couldn't care for heranymoreand so we had to try and find her a homeand my nan was kind of the one whichwhich brought me off as I said at thestart when my mom was working so hardand was working really hard and and mystepdads dad got some got Parkinson'sand so we were trying to find ways tohelp him so I'm just trying to keepeverybody afloat because I was the onethat that kind of just brushes stuff offbecause I've ruined everything else offand Kevin Hart says he shoulder shrugstuff I just kind of brush it off Idon't really have much alders but I gotto a point where it kind of all got andit just all the time it was just I wasjust kind of I couldn't make head ortail of anything because I was I had somuch to transfigure out out andeverything hurt so much physically and Icouldn't I was trying to figure outbills and I was trying to do myassignments so I didn't failing it keptbehind I'd already been kept behind incollege and I definitely didn't wantthat feeling again so there was a pointwhere I kind of when I'd gone back homethere was aa good bridge him Bolton that's quitehigh and quite secluded I took myself toit and just kind of thinking about whatwhat the consequences would be here if Iwas just to kind of take a trip and lookat the bottom of it I don't know what Ikind of don't know what what stopped meI think it was just the fact that Icouldn'teverybody was suffering so much alreadythat I wasn't gonna make them sufferanymore anymoreyeah and that was I think that wasprobably like my well at least I thoughtthat was my rock bottom and then afterChristmas there was a whole host ofbills which I'd never which didn't evenaccount for just cuz my head wasspinning so I ended up about threethousand pounds into my two thousandpound overdraft and I couldn't didn'twant to ask anybody because everybodywas already suffering with their ownproblems at home so I just kind of Ithink that was probably my moment ofadversity now of anything else that Ikind of struggled with the most and Ithink I got through it I found a JimRohn video on YouTube and watch that andthat kind of made me feel a little bitbetter and then I read a couple of bookslike The Alchemist and thought actuallymy life doesn't have to kind of be thisway so for well the most immediateproblem that I can affect is my moneyproblem so I learned a couple of newskills that learn a little bit of onlinemarketing and look we found a way tosell those and made my broke even andthen my student loan came in so I had alittle bit of money and so I could buy acouple more presents for my better halfand I didn't have to worry so much thenabout the bills for my rent and stufflike that so that was kind of nice andfrom there I kind of thought wellthere's no real situation that saysthat's as bad as that and I've been kindof smiling ever since to be honest Ithink reflecting on everything that hasbeen with my friends my family etc itkind of that's why I think I'm theluckiest man I know cuzcome through it all and I still gotmajority of my family still got themajority of my friends and still got anamazing dog lovely girlfriend and I'vemanaged to get a really really nicecareer so yeah I love that I'm just veryglad firstly that you didn't make thewrong move that day at the bridgebecause I think the world and yourfamily and your friends and even myselfnow getting to know you more you wouldhave all missed out mate and I mean thatsincerely you also touched on a verygood thing there as well I think whenyou when you've been at rock bottom andI don't wish this on anyone who hasn'tbeen there but sometimes I feel that ifyou've been rock bottom and you come outof it then everything's a blessing likeyou said you're the luckiest man thatyou know in the world and I suppose Isee this from my mom I see from my nanwho have who have had similar adversityto yourself and I used to laugh becauseI used to relate them to an episode ofEastEnders I was like you've almost gotlike a soap opera kind of life like thatthe adversity that we've always gonethrough and just hearing obviouslyyourself oneit proves that everyone in the world isgoing through something we're all facingour own battles and stuff just to kindof take the gratitude element from itand move forward from it and having comeout of it so even if you moved one stepaway so you move one step away from thatbridge now everything is it's so muchbetter that quite if that kind of makessense I think I think you've got theright perspective now and I'd certainlyurge you because I'm sure you've got avery very good Network knowing theperson you are and the piss and anythingthat you've got that if ever you do feelthat things spiral out of control pleasedo always reach out I'm sure you've gotmany people close to you as well thatyou can rely on and one thing I realizedis when I used to struggleI used to enclose a lot of stuff andthat's even from like my missus at thetime or my mom or my brother and it wasonly when I started showingvulnerability and I think for a guyVaughn durability is strength and we wesaw often me we have this provider thatwe can't cry or we made her cry I cryall the time you know I'm not I'm notafraid to say that becauseby me expressing my emotions andspeaking about it it just helps me somuch in terms of face and face inwhatever I'm going through and basicallydealing with it so I'm proud of you mateand I can't believe a young you are toshow such intelligence you mentionedalso something else I just took a noteof which was about the managing moneyand how you didn't when your sisters tobe without you took a kind of abilityfor mismanaging your money and up untilprobably the age of 25 myself I I had nosense of responsibility so again likeyour emotional intelligence is fantasticso um was it awkward for you man I gotmy fingers crossed for you we're on theway up the buzzer has gone off and whatI'm gonna be doing now is putting youthrough the paces so we're gonna see howquickly you can think and how quick youcan answer as many questions as possiblelet's do it there is no right or wrongif you can't think just say pass andwe're gonna start the timer for 60seconds in three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame money Netflix orYouTube YouTube Van Damme or Bruce LeeVan Damme Coke or Pepsi pass would yourather know how you would die or whenyou were die pass summer or winter thewinter your favourite place in the wholewide world grasmere in the latest ratespeak all languages will be able tospeak to animals animals if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it beit's self doubt love that your favoritesong ever the fire read minds or predictthe future and put it in feature cats ordogs dog have you ever been in a fightthen you know this hundreds and did youalways win no favorite movie star AmberHeard pancakes or waffles pancakescomedy or horror comedy singing ordancing dancing okay and that's time butI'm curious I don't know why you passbut Coke or Pepsi mate I need to knowcuz I don't really care for eitheralright okayyou don't drink any of them I do I don'tcare okay okay well I kind of carry alittle bit just a personal thing I'm aPepsi fan anyway a Pepsiexpand so okay we're just pretend thatyou like Pepsi as our yeah okay perhapsthey love it okay brilliant so we'rekind of coming towards the end of thepodcaster so we've just got a couple ofmore questions that I really want tojust try and get from you so the nextone is about reflection that's awonderful thing and when we reflect wecan often think of ways to get to wherewe are quicker or do things earlier orperhaps move us towards that goal isthat little bit quicker but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as wellI'm a firm believer that everythinghappens for a reason so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone moment where you really struggledand suffered with adversity and youcould whisper something in your ear soif you use the example that youmentioned I standing at the bridge andknowing what you know now what would youwhisper to your 17 year old right inyourself however old you were at thattime I would whisper don't be afraidbecause pain and fear are your friendsif that's the way you see them okay Ilike that because it is how we seeeverything isn't ityeah pain is fuel for me now now Istopped my toll the other day and foundit really really funny because somethingthat pain is something that motivates meto be more now it's made me stronger soI'm gonna be strong then you are me youare it's that's kind of them I don'tknow if you follow David Goggins Imentioned him earlier a little bit hmmhe's somebody who I'd certainlyrecommend looking out for he's got acouple of interviews on impact theoryokay and that guy's is incrediblebecause he kind of uses the whole painand basically pushing your body to tohis limits he's just got a new book outactually I should be getting sponsor forthis by the way but he's got a new bookout called can't hit me and I listenedto it and honestly if I'm feeling lazyfor like an ounce of a second it makesme feel like shit so it kind of likelistening to you today I feel reallymotivated I feel inspired by yourstories the stuff that you've beenthrough it's made you the person thatyou are today and you're gonna help somany other people and it's by a book Ithink you've just got a brilliantperspective on it and that brings us toour last question so the last question Ialways like to ask my guess is if in 150this time and there was a book andsomebody come across it and it was aboutyou about Joshua well I wanna know is Ishare one or two things so I'm justadding a question in here first I wantto know what the title of that bookwould be and secondly I want to knowwhat the blurb would say okay well thetitle of my book would be can I swearyou can say whatever you are me thetitle of my book would be fuckingbecause one thing I've learned is thatyou never really know what is gonnahappen so fuck it whatever happensembrace it enjoy it whether it's painfulor pleasurable or whether whether iswhether it happens to you or somebodyelse enjoy it embrace it learn from itand use it to feel you to go further soyeah I'd say fuck it cuz that's kind ofwhat I say whenever anything happens Ilove it and the blue and the blurb wouldsay he enjoyed every day that he livedhis dog was his best friendno it would say that I enjoyed every daythat he lived and he was the mostgrateful man he knew and he never he hada lot of pain and suffering but he neverreally suffered yeah I'd say that's me Ilove that endearment I love it and to behonest you're probably one of the mostgrateful people I know as well so it'sbeen a privilege before I and I justwant people to connect with youhopefully that's okay with yourself yeahcool I think your story is just startinglike I said you're very younggot all the years ahead of you you'vegot you're gonna do amazing things and Igenuinely mean that whether it's inproperty or whatever it iswho knows you might be you might be inthe theaters might be the great showman- who knows but I think before we leaveif you could just let us know just justone place that people could reach out toyou maybe connect maybe have aconversation with you because I feellikethere's so much more in your story and Ithink you'll inspire so many people maybe going through adversity and they canlearn so much from me yeah my I'mactually in the stages of writing a bookbecause there's lots that I left out ofthis interview so there's lots that Ican share with people and I would loveit if as the same courtesy you extendedto me if I could extend to everybodythat's listening that if they are everstill freed and feel like they're atrock bottom and please contact me andI'm gonna give up my Instagram becauseI'm currently in the at the beginningstage of rebranding and this is the onething that which won't be rebranded it'sjust Josh underscore Asquith that's asqu i th all but the actual links andeverything in the show ops anyway justin case anyone didn't get that spellingas for the book mate if you've got atitle let me know if you haven't closedit to the time please let me knowbecause I'll make a pledge now I'll bethe first to purchase that I think it'dbe fun lastly thank you like I saidearlier there's nothing boring ormundane about your story it's it'sinspiring and you truly inspired me Ithink people like the rock and all thosepeople yeah it helps me when I go onInstagram in the morning but seeingsomebody who I know in real life and Ispent some time with and I've got a lotof time for just in the back of my mindnow I could see myself in the morningjust be like fuck it let's go to the gymself I love it mate I just want to thankyou one more time for taking time out ofyour dayno thank you please do reach out to Joshand as always thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 2 - The Wake Up Call by Jin AtwalJins life screams adversity. The loss of his uncle, father and sister within such a short space of time caused his life to spiral out of control. The word death links closely to Jin's life as does the word alcohol abuse. A stigma perhaps in the punjabi, asian community Jin refused to let this be his story. he wanted more.Determined to succeed and not let his circumstances dictate his future he woke up and took control of his life and started writing his own story. Now in the process of writing his own book, “The Wake up call” Jin is now looking to inspire others and help them cope with the grief he has suffered.Alongside this he has a mission to help children and ensure they struggle with less hardship in their lives!If you think that’s not enough his also a successful property investor with many more talents.."When you lose somebody, it's always there. It never goes away." - Jin AtwalThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manjinder.atwalInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jin120280/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people yes that is correct myname is Aren and I am the host of theshow so I'm extremely excited todaybecause my guest is somebody who's notonly got an incredible story that isriddled with ups and downs and trialsand tribulations but he's also someone Iconsider a friend alongside that he'salso a loving father to two beautifulgirls he's a loving husband and he's avery successful property investor so Ithink it's more important we speak tohim rather than listening to myselfbecause some of the stuff he's gonna sayis really gonna blow your mind sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way good morning Jin sohow are you doing today good thank youhow about yourselfnot too bad thank you just a little bitof a cold which hopefully doesn't affectthe podcast too much so I just want tostart firstly by saying thank you fortaking time out of your day to shareyour story I'm very confident it's goingto obviously inspire other peopleknowing who you are as a person so Ithink it's important for the listenersto basically get to know youso if you could just please explain howyou've progressed through life and endedup where you are currently okay sowithout sounding like the okie DonGoonies indeed though I'll give you abit of a summary so a bit about meso my first memories of a child isprobably my older sister he was aboutthree years older than me and she's tokind of always be up to mischief and Iwas well I was a little sidekick I'lltell you one of those stories so one ofthe times she dared me to throw a stickat a wasp's nest me crazily is to doeverything she told me to do seems likea good idea why notyeah so I did that what spirit stick Iwas nest and had a swarm of waspschasing me and the garden didn't endwell for me educate imagine but yeah Iyou know I just follow around everywhereand I was always you know really proudof her you know she's got a biginspiration to megrowing up and then caught us tosummarize the kind of years after that Icould prolly summarize the kind ofexperience a lot of grief at the dealwe've my dad he was an alcoholic seen alot of violence and experiences ofloneliness as a child so kind of goinginto the grief part the firstexperienced grief when I was around 10years old so my dad's younger brother myuncle I used to live with us for a whileand so I was very close to him and kindof be wiseass or even mourning a seconddad really and around Christmas Eve wason Christmas Eve he went out for a worksparty we have a few of his friends andthere's all over the local quite drunkand the drive was over the limit and onthe way home and started getting chasedby police officers and they tied thedriver decided to try to get away and heended up smashing the car into a brickwallmy uncle was at the back in the middleseats about a seatbelt on so probablythe worst place you could beand a head-on crash I need to basicallyjust went straight right straight to thefront and died on scene so he was allholy person in the car to dieand it was just clearly in the wrongplace in the car really sorry to truckhow old is you at this time yes I wasabout 10 years old at the time and yeahit's kind of a difficult time for me Ithink as as people or any heart we findit hard to deal with grief and I thinkthat's especially within the Indiancommunity so I think nobody ever spoketo me about it and it was kind of isthere happening in the background and Icould see the pain in my dad and myfamily and stuff like but nobody evercame andhow we felt as children and I saw and Ithink I ever dealt with it properlyuntil happy until like recently reallywhere I kind of started to think aboutit bit more so that was kind of thebeginning of you know make me experiencehim grief from what grief was like andthen from there I think my dad healready kind of had a Greek problem atthe time kind of just went off the railsso he just didn't had to handle it andwell his wife and he would just turninto drink and weave that he started tobecome quite violent and we experienceda lot of violence in the household on akind of daily weekly basis basically soour store are still quite young then andI felt it is my role to protect myfamilyso I used to try to get my sistersupstairs and out the way the venisonviolence is coming and then I'd comeback downstairs myself and then tried tostop my dad but you know which I coulddo being so young and that kind ofstarted affecting me in a you know quotenegative way it just made me feelworthless I felt like I wasn't a man Iwas like I wasn't to be able to myfamily and I was really hard on myselfso kind of that continued into myteenage years basically and as I gotolder I got bigger of still was tallreally afraid of my dad kind of embeddedinto me at that saw him you know if hejust raised his voice I would get reallynervous and scared and that make me feltfelt like even worse as a person andanother violence continued and you knowand I just felt like I couldn't doanything so for me I started aroundabout 15 years old I turned to boxingokay you need to boxing helped me inmany many ways it just taught me controlthat aggression that was inside of meand you know that anger so yeah going tohelp me in a lot of ways but alsostarted getting the reputation at schoolas the Hardeman and you know every timein school say Argentina Sortino sausageand I end up gaining points at school II thought I was always quite lonelyprimary school didn't have any manyfriends didn't have any you know just towalk around myself I didn't have a funnytime we have a single friend until about10 years old and then when I got asecondary school you know started makinga few friends but not many but then healways always for the wrong reasons Ikind of I got known as tough guy yougain two points or then I starteddrinking myself which I always I used tohate alcoholI've seen is what I call my dad problemsof course I lost my uncle for alcoholalcohol related but I think there's onetime I just I just I drinking with somefriends they started a lot more earlythan me and I just II I didn't reallyhaven't I couldn't really pick in thecrowd and they stole do their own thingand went out with one time's it come onnow every drink with Jean and I end updrinking with him I was talking mostoften and I kind of got that reputationand as you know he's a good laugh whenhe has a drink and he's he's you know hegets it he's a good good good ofpointing so if any trouble you're saltyand that's not the person I wanted to beinside well that's the person I becameand that continued really for many yearsand then from there I kind of I went towhen I finished school into Universityand I kept that persona you know Jeanwas the default crazy fun guy that youcould have a good laugh we've ended up afew drinks and he's you know they weretough not and you know inside I alwaysfelt that that's not me I'm just I'mjust no other person and that's theperson that people like they don't likeif I really thought he was myself peoplewouldn't like that I wouldn't be that Iwouldn't you know I wouldn't be that oneperson that everybody enjoys or becamesomebody else basically that's veryinteresting point I think you just madethere your dad and the violence in thehouse and I supposed you somehowindirectly almost became that kind ofperson ie the Hardman for example yeahbut I think it takes a mazing awarenesswhich you've just mentioned a couple ofseconds ago that you quickly realizethat okay although I'm getting plauditsand people are kind of now coming to meand the finding my company great forexample but this isn't the kind ofperson I want to be known as and I thinkthat takes a lot of awareness becausepeople will relate to this we sometimespigeonhole ourselves into situations orgroups just because we fit in by being aparticular person but what I always wantto try and do is tell people don't tryand fit into a crowd by being somebodyyou're notI just wanted to point that out just forthe listeners because I think it'simportant that you were able torecognize that hold on a minute thisisn't Janette well this is an episode orshould we call it a chapter of your lifebut this isn't the person that you areit's certainly not the person that Iknow today yeah I think yeah if I didrealize but I didn't I didn't I didn'ttake action to change I was very quicklyto be honest I took me a long long timeso now after finishing University I'llstop and I was not that reputation I wasstill that kind of person and then Istarted my job and you know I did I'dcome a first job working for a bigenergy company in there I was stolen ahappy you know started off doing a job Ididn't really want to do just to get myfoot in the door a degree in BusinessStudies what I did didn't really seem tohelp me and get there was the kind ofincome that I wanted so I started offstapling bills for a big energy companyyou know I haven't been to universityand don't open house you know I wasthere stifling bills you know five daysa week and I kind of annoyed me and Igot my head down and I know rightjin-hee you can't do this you need toyou need to you know work your way up inthe companies so I got my head down andI moved from that position all the wayup until senior position within thecompany in ten years looking at thebusiness strategy so my rock my rolltowards the end of my career empower waslooking at the business strategy and howwe can use smart metering it's moredated to launch new product into themarket so it's a good it's a good job ornot you know I worked my way up fromstepping bills to that it was a massiveachievement but even through then Iwasn't happy I was like you know I'mstill not me I don't know who I am Idon't know he was you know I know I'mnot the vision of what I want to bemyself I don't know who the vision Iwant to be of myself it should be what Ishould look like I always had a dream ofgetting into property on it so because Idid is I do remember Matthew told meyounger we didn't really make much moneyon it because we didn't really know whatwe were doing it we don't got all thespaceproperties we need you know we turn theminto amazing homes but didn't reallythink about in terms of the cash flowand and how much would make from theproperty so yeah he's always in the backof mind because like not having a hardto feel home as a young as a child youknow I never felt like my home was homealways had this vision that I would oneday create amazing homes for people tolive in so he's always my vision andalways something I said to my wife and Iwhen I got married and said does it onagain to property or Nicholas say allthe time she probably got better put mehere here with me saying it to be honestand then the other thing going to sayI'm one day I'm going to go to a thirdworld country and I'm gonna build a welland I'm gonna build a school forchildren I'm gonna do so I'm gonna dothatdreams and I was doing nothing thatwould ever get me there my dream wedidn't have a fighting chance everrecording reality because I wasn't doinganything to get there so just I'm justtalking about them and then I kept it soby doing that as time goes by and youstart talking about these dreams andthey're not happening you lose the dreamstart fading and you start losing faithand you you just falling into a routineof work and doing things that you don'twant to do and life's passing you by andyou know you kind of start losing a lotof life and you dreams fade you startfading as a person so I kind of alwayssaid one day when I get married underI'll start doing all this I'll get mydad wouldn't it from a company one dayand I'll start using that money to doall this stuff and you know any focus onsomething I'd say thank you folks it'llbe a comedy well is yeah I think that istrue because I focused on becomingredundant I boxed in the wrong thingsmy folks I made redundant and I got maderedundant which is an unusual thing foranyone to kind of focus on his foes yeahand he's focused on that because of alump sum of money I put that lump sum ofmoney out then I couldn't start doingwhat I wanted to do okayI don't like us but like I speaking toone of my friends when I was a I hadn'tseen him for about twenty years and andhe said are we so you brought BMW in theend I said yeah and he goes I go why whydo you say thatI used to always say I'm gonna BMW and Ikind of laughed three months ago I wishI said I was gonna buy a Lamborghiniyeah so I think being made redundantkind of was just the start of my newlife really kind of all kind of mr. partbe up more logically just as a FinnishUniversityI just finished and I got news that mydad had fallen over and bumped his headaround by the same time as my sisterjust got married she got off on ahoneymoon on a honeymoon and then andthen we got a call sign for the hospitalsaying he'd you know he died in hospitalhe formed his head and we when I've beenin hospital and when I saw him there Iwas not really angry I am and I saw himyou know probably wanted to give him ahawker today you know because he justyou know he didn't look he had a big alot of bruising on his face I know thatbut those are part of me is like whatare you doing to yourself or what youknow take control of your locals andnothing and that came out I just said tohim like you know I'm ashamed of you youknow you need to you need to sortyourself out and then I just turned upturned away and walked at the hospitaland that turned out to be the last wordsI ever said to my dad we got a call thatnoise saying that a fellow in hospitalagain and it is in a coma basically Heyand this basically just miss missed meup totally for years you know not notjust short-term he just played on mymind and I started drinking a lot moreand every time I drank a stick like cryofriends and say hey look you know thisis more last words I said to my dad thiswas said in the law you know it's notyour fault you know I just I justwouldn't go awayand it wouldn't go away I like I saidwaiting to come into my work wentthrough a company and just another doingall this dope never it always be in theback of our mind and then being maderedundant I kind of that looks like thatwas start to my new life and I got maderedundant in January 2017 so I'm nottalking long ago but at that point Ikind of wouldkind of introduced to the property worldwell you know property cause but wasn'tthe property broader so I got introducedbut when you got into property coursesyou started you got you you're basicallygoing to room full of people that's theyhaven't lost faith you know this dogdreaming and still turn out action thatdreamI mean you surround yourself with thosepeople you start believing again y'allstart believing again and that changedme totally I said I believe in my dreamsagain but it wasn't just that they staytold me to read books right and okaywhat books is it oh god we should readRich Dad Poor Dad start yourself off soI did that okay this is good I enjoyedreading that book I'm from then I justthought I'd read and self developmentbooks all the timeand I've never done anything like thatin my life and this won't help youunderstand me he was why I felt why Idid you know I thought I began torealize there's a book out there forevery single thing in your life so tohelp you and things and so I was likereading and reading a lot of books andthey've had a massive impact me it's gota strange thing every time I pick up abook and read itI somehow apply that into my life and itmakes a massive difference so and howthe first book was like Rich Dad PoorDad showed me the property but then Iread stuff like the five-second rulewe talked No yeah I said a massiveimpact on my book and what I'm alive forearly the slight edge was an excellenttaught me about you know I taught methat I've keep saying that I'm gonnahave this much I'm gonna go and build awell I'm gonna go and do something thatbecause it's not like that that thingsnot happen like that you you know startoff by doing a little bit at each timeand building yourself up there I thinkwhat you just said there is a very goodpoint I think this is where a lot ofpeople they probably get the wrongmessage because a lot of people read thesecret or they hear about the secret andthe thing just wishful thinking alone Iwish I could win the lottery for exampleI wish I get a Lamborghini for exampleand just by solely wishing that theirdreams come true but I think youobviously explaining now you've realizedthat that it takes a little bit morethan that it takes that whole mindsetthe whole self-love the self-worth andstuff which you spoke about earlier inrelation to tell you you know and Ithink more important that is action andI know youand I think we met around the same timeyou were redundant and yeah you openlyadmit those times you were taking actionI think a very honest and that but now II see you and I think people that seeyou on Facebook who are following yourjourney I seen you I think you'veadopted is it a miracle morning which ithink is probably propellant to yourstory but there's action being takenthere now now it's not just like fluffyaction like I'd certainly urge people tojust head over to your Facebook there'slike it's almost like a daily thing thatyou're doing and you're beingaccountableI know no he knew it's more for yourselfbut at the same time people are seeingthat and people are thinking hold on aminute this guy's out there now he'sactually taken action he's world startedto changemaybe I should implement it and I knowthere's a couple of other friends whoI've spoken to her actually adopting thesame thing so fair play to you for thatme yeah I think it's a to me readingbooks is been a massive thing to mechange came alive meeting people thathaven't lost in lost faith in theirdreams is one big thing and anotherthing we just read him books and readingyou know if you haven't got a problemfind a book for it I know that's that'swhat I've found like I said I said themiracle morning that's something Istarted as well which has a lot ofmassive impact on me that's basicallyjust having the morning routine spendingtime on yourself so with me he's alwaysabout doing stuff for the people nowmaking other people happy with you knowtrying to do everybody kind of controlanybody's life and making sure everybodygets on everybody's happyand I looked when I struggled to do thatI used to feel hard on myselfbut then I realized that you can'tcontrol anybody else in life you have toyou don't think you really have controlof yourself yeah and if you don't spendtime when you saw then and trying togive yourself to everybody's pretty selfyou'll never helped anybody starthelping you start become a strongerperson and then once you're in thatposition then you could have thoughthelping other people and I think that'swhat I realized from the miracle moreand I started spending time myselfreally you know I'd go out for a runcome back for my run do affirmationsmeditation you know things I found hardto forgive me ways a bit fluffy but nowI love it and I were just doingnaturally in our meditation I like Idon't sit there and sit in silence boyminutes I can do that I found it hardhaving my own timeI never done it but now it's something Ihave to do it's like a it's like amedication for me in a way if I don'ttake my medication daily I'll be startbecame depressed again and I think ifyou wouldn't mind just elaborating onthat actually because I'm a big believerthat we are a result of not only ourthoughts and what we tell ourselves butour daily habits and I've seen yourworld transform which is fantastic tosee as a friend so much since you'veadopted these habits so if if for thelisteners if you could just kind ofexplain your daily routine so I knowyou're very earlyyou acted up earlier than me one of thevery few so kudos to that but if youcould just explain from the moment youwake up just very quickly kind of likehour by hour or what you kind of do andmaybe people who have got a similarsituation to yourselves can kind of gettheir medication fix and get their dailyroutine similar to yourself okay so forme waking up at 5:00 a.m.most days I don't always do that hard onmyself as I always wind up again no I'min a late annoyed or make sure it's dogit must leave but make up a bit laterbut most most days are like 5 a.m. andseen as a wake up brush want to get downstairs I have a glass of water and thenI'll just cause it'll get at the houseas fast as I can get out do a 5k runduring that run sometimes listen to anaudio book or sometimes it just besilencing my own thoughts and I'll justthink about things and and then thinkabout life think about ideas and then bythe time I get back I'm quite fresh nowthe cold air outside quickly at themoment hits your face and it just wakesyou up and then what time I get homethen I go straight into meditation I maysay for five minutesI'm from there I'll go new look at mygoals which I've got on the wall fueland then do some affirmationsI'll talk to myself about what mypurpose in life is and and what I wantto achieve that's bigger than me andthen I'll write down three things thatI'm grateful forand then you haven't done an audio bookwell of Brian Oldham audiobook at theend and then by then I'll do othersocial media updates which I've startedto do not just do you knowpatelliday of America morning that'spart of it trying to inspire people tothe point for me it's a massiveaccountability tool so by me having topost every single day that I've justdone my miracle morning gets me up andit gets me doing itI know another gonna finish it off byposting my miracle morning tellingpeople Barry it's 20 inspire peopleif I've got a four to the day while Iwas running that came to mind or shareat that points and that starts me oftenand not that way then it's right youknow it's around about seven o'clock andmy day's going to start there and we'rebut kids wake up several kids to schoolget back home around about nine o'clockand then when I'm a real apartment thatday is in the impetus my propertyinvestment business that's when I startdoing that so you know like to beputting offers in going see propertiesgoing to see reefers been doing you knowbut by then I'm ready to gowhereas before or probably wake up atnine seven o'clock right with the kidsTeddy come to school running aroundstraightaway not no time to think gethome nine o'clock have breakfast go tothe gym at 10 o'clock 10:30 11 o'clockand start doing some work because thekids because the kids are free o'clockabout about two hours to do ready workon my property business how am I goingto do anything and make my propertybusiness work I'm just spending twohours doing more doing that you know andthat's what I realized you know by doingeverything all that stuff in the morningget you going and in it when you getgoing you're going you know you knowit's been you know a day just even likedoing stuff that you're really focusingon during the day absolutely I think Ithink it's key also as well especiallylike with social media and emails andstuff that that key part of the day thatyou've taken out for yourself which aswe talked about earlier it's reallyimportant to look after yourself inorder to be able to look after otherpeople it's it's done in a time wherenobody's really going to be emailing younobody is able to take away your energyor control it so I I do a similar thingI'm not shy away from the runs a littlebit more than yourself but I get myselflet's call it medication I do the stufffor myself first so I've kind of hitthese small wins so when the day doescome and your throne with curveballs asyou probably know as a property investoryou're kind of more resilient towards itplus if the day goes tits up shall wecall it you've still got so many thingsdon't let you've stood on your ownyou've been the affirmation you'veinspired people online you spent time inyour daughter's you've took them toschool so you've still got a fair fewwins if that makes sense so I think yeahit's fantastic yeah and it changed mylife and like I say I have to do it nowbecause I know I've spoke to you beforeabout this and and I look like myproperty journey in January 2017 and inthis mindset stuff but then you kind ofcame my whole life I became a differentperson everybody around me so I knowgenius you've changed you know it wouldseem like really confident you knowpeople and people started coming to meand saying now people that I used tolook up to you so I coming to me andsaying you know tell us about this bookyou reading tell us about this you knowhow how have you become this differentperson and I was telling him like youknow I was inspiring people and Ithought wow this is amazing and thefirst time ever I could really say thatI lost anger lost the you know the way Ifelt about the past and I let it all goCourtley and I forgave my dad andappropriate up and I forgave myself andmore importantly and I started moving onand I thought wow this is amazingand then November time my sister got itall and you know to begin me we know wedidn't think he was that bad you know Isaid he's off right we were told offReuters because people you know have butthen it kind of then it we got told he'scoming called mixed tissue disease I andthen she went in for a routine checkupor mid-novemberand he just kept just kept betweenhospital I meant being on a propertycourse that weekend and getting back upone of the day and my brother-in-lawcalling McKnight a nap he knows he'sjust not well and she's gonna keep herring and you know she's annoying I seeyou know and it just like crazyI thought what what what they just saidit was you know mix tissue disease andit goes a bit more serious and I thinkit might be you know a raven where arare case of this so we're kind of youknow I went there straight away I knowstage of a hospital for two and a halfweeks and you know that's another thingwith property and stuff that you knowallows you to do that if possibly my jobI wouldn't be now just gone and do thatthat's what I see being could made nomake me realize a limp or two thateverybody's having some kind of partybeing salutely wait but kind of goingback to this door you know but whathappened he's like it just it just itjust like my whole life has changedand you know we've been I mean Iremember this what we've seen theconsultants one of the points and hegoes that we've never seen a case ofthis in the UK it's only been a handfulof cases in the worldright you know we've got nothing torefer to and you know he says you knowit's it kind of didn't look good at allbut if you know if you heard whatthey're saying you think that's it butwe never left we never lost five youknow we have to believe in no she'sgonna make it when my sister was talkingyou know she's the best person I everknew and I feel quite decent George willget furious and you know at thebeginning she was you know obvious thefirst few days you know she's on abreathing machine and that was told itwas like she's doing American everysingle day right that's how the pressureit was on her lungs and she's justfighting it and it's unbelievable saysshe I don't have to put her in aninduced coma you can't keep doing thisand then to Cuzco more you guys laterand you know she never I won't quotefrom that and it's just like it's just acrazy time you know obstinate you knowwhat points that we fought she's gonnabe okay and at those points you knowyou'd lost the news it or favor gettinglike along this collapsed and stuff likeher and you know I was I was able to bethere from the right from the beginningyou know I stayed there every single dayI slept there a hospital talk to herread books to her you know I read a bookThe Alchemist the first time while I wasthere and they talked about no purposein life and stuff and then kind of mademe think and I said to her then does itlook you know I said as a child thatwhat I know that my purpose in life isto make sure that every child has thesame opportunity in life that everycharge of her and that's what I'm gonnado and I'm going to complete thattogether and you know of course she'sgonna make it's gonna change your lifeand we're all gonna you knowleave our life's to max because kind ofjust before she went on reading thefive-second rule and I said like I saida book always comes to me at the whitepoints and you said in there she talkedabout a story of a better dad had a headhead tumor and she didn't want to askhim directlyhow are you afraid because she didn'task him that question but you could putthat you poor white 5 4 3 2 1 just askhim I might see your sister - it was twoor three days before she went intohospitalsat there just sitting in a chair and Isaid you know for about you know whatI'm gonna say I'm gonna say 4 3 2 1are you afraid and she goes she goes nonot reallyshe goes you know I know this is gonnachange my life but I think I'm gonnadeal with me she goes you know I've beenworking too hard and and I already knowthat I'm gonna from this it's made meI've had to sit down it's made me stopand it made me think about things in alot more detail and you guys gonnachange my life now and it spent a lotmore time with my family and they're thefolks and the things that really matterin life and I thought yeah maybe this isa blessing these guys it's like awake-up call for him he's gonna changeyour life completely and you know kindof she never had that opportunity to dothat and that was the hardest thing forme that she she knew what she wanted todo now you'd change in life and shenever got to do that I think that's oneof the key things have changed me sayingthat you know you don't know what'sgonna happen in life you know how peoplealways wait wait for this wake-up callas such you know he's gone propertycauses in and let the first put theperson at the front you say to you tellabout a story of their life and used tobe about hardship and somebody barbercam came and how he changed your life anice to think oh they look in a way thatthis they've had something happen intheir life that give him a wake-up calland they've got some new power thattransformed him as a person and madeeverything happen for them but itdoesn't happen like that you know I lostmy sister I mean it didn't automaticallytransform me into this person that's hada wake-up call he knock mesix two six four six to be basedbasically I I tried to deal with it youknowby keeping busy first and I just freemyself into my property in the gettingfinished anything else and I didn't getmuch time to himself grieve to grieveand and you know to get over it and thenit wasn't until about April so I didn'teven 18 the wife said look we need toget away and putting a bit of timetogether as a family abroad okay let'sgoand so we get to Egypt and I had a fewdrinks and I kind of got back to theroom and I just got his crushed totallyand all this anger just flew out and Iwas like God and I just shouting inevery way we've done this to us whileplaying games of us you know tragic hardlife just as a point where my sister'shappy we're all happy mom's you knowI've settle down we've what we've allgot you know we were married about kidsmoms relax for the first time in her armlife in an alive why are you playinggames with us and why you doing this andalways anger came at it all all totallytowards God and you know I came back andI just crashed I uh I thought green keyI was watching the World Cup under thefirst time you know our drinking onmyself and I've never done night my lifeand I just totally burned all that stuffyou know from just before having thisbook and changing our minds in openhouse all went out the window back to aworse place and I've never been horribleI froze in the dark hole and angryfriends I was angry angry everybodycovenant just angry personhey you know I was angry friends for notalways asking me how I felt about mysisterI was angry about you know people nottotally understanding how I feel and youjust I just started going out of controland expecting some everybody's to helpme and get me out of this hole and itdoes enable you to do something for meand when they weren't able to hang withthem and then and then it came to apoint when I said look Jin you need tocontrol of your life what did you do atthe beginning this year to change you asyou person as a person you need to goback to the basics and start doing thatyou know I can't you can't lady sisterdown that's what I basically didand they're kind of it back to thebasics Nora okay first of all I need tofind a book I find a book that helps youdeal with grief and it's specific to meso I went out looked on found and Imanaged to find a book about how to dealwith the loss of a sibling as an adultis that the exact title because I'm justconscious if anyone's gone through asimilar situation to yourself yeah Imean that's cool because there's manybooks that talk about losing as a childlosing somebody but it's not many booksas losing your sibling as an adult andthen the book that is the title of thebook and I read through that helped meunderstand why I thought were a way Idid how the relationship between my andmy sister is totally different toanybody and how friends and everythingelse wouldn't understand and that's whyyou know your sibling is the only personthat knows you better than most peoplecould I seen you as a child growing upand every stage of your life and that isan amazing relationship that no not manypeople others death understand I call myfriends brothers and I say all the timeand when I say my friends and mybrothers I really mean it and you knowthat was part of my sister's wedding myclose friends that part of my you knowpart of everything I bring them aroundmy house that I'm making part of myfamily and I do everything with them butwhen they didn't feel the loss of mysister the way I felt II always angry atthem was it well she's your sister tooI get they're not how come they're notmorning with like I'm mourning and thenit wasn't until I read this that port nothey're like are having my sister wasdifferent was different yeah and thenshe's special and you know obviously I'mgonna feel that because they didn't theyweren't they didn't grow the way I didwas they did everything that me or mysister went through together and I thinkthat kind of optimize really does a starand then then I started thinking aboutmore about God and my relationship withGod a lot more and then another thing alight bulb came and he said and it waslike okay all my life I've said God didthis god help me with thatI did this God you've got about a hardlife so you owe me you owe me cuz I hada hard life you need to make this happenfor me this happen committees happenedway and and because I've done that I'vealways gave control to God an externalforce and then somebody clicked in mymind that Jin you need to take controlyourself in your own room life and thenI seen a world Smith video and WillSmith said there's a difference betweenFault and responsibilities yeah and itjust clicked in my head again and Ithought okay you know I'm blamingeverybody blame murder blaming everybodyelse their areas yeah okay it wasn't myfault that haven't happened to me it'snot my fault I lost my sister I thoughtthat a lot of what I said to my dad youknow happened but he's moreresponsibility start control takingcontrol of my life that is moreespecially those with my you know that'ssomething I need to do and that's what Istarted doing by taking control of mylife started running again so I did mymiracle morning again I started writingthe book onlineanother thing I've always fought is Ithought I'd seen social medias adifferent tool Sydney totallydifferently I thought okay these areamazingaccountability tool and if I post mystory online every single day it'll makeme do it and I'm just I'm writing mystory so I'll do my miracle morningsenior Timmy oh good morning spend halfan hour to an hour just writing one ortwo pages of my story and I continuedoing that and then you know pleasedon't always want to do I had all thesedreams I think I wanna do I'm gonnastart doing them now I know I could'vequit talking about him I'm gonna stopdoing them so before I know I've writtenmy book your forty thousand wordsyou know next year I'm gonna publish itand 2019 I'm gonna sit down again putinto chapters you know and the bookgonna be called the beikokubecause I bet that's where he's been forme you know there's been lots of wake-upcalls in my life and you know it's it'sgonna be of a twist to it because youknow people always wake white withMichael Corbitt run tell you that youdon't need the wake-up call to changeyour life and the white book or does notnet mean that you just change life mydad had lost his brother that could havebeen his wake-up call but my dad was hea victim you know journeys on lifeupside down even more so you know thatdon't worry learn that Michael Cordes Iknow I think this was one of the mainreasons I kind of want to join the showas well is because okay you've hadplenty of wake up cause I'm sure peoplewill understand you've not had theeasiest of lives but I always myself aswell I almost trying to tell people donot wait for something bad to happenI tend to find that if there's a badevent or something happens in say forinstance a family for example then allof a sudden everyone's live in a life ofgratitude for the next week and you knowthey're really grateful for the littlethings in life but then very veryquickly we kind of just get consumedback into like normal reality I supposeor like the rat race or whatever youwant to call it and we just forget youknow and then in priority start changingwhereas I'm very conscious becausesimilar to yourself I mean I can't saymy life the same as you all we'll haveour own trials and tribulations but I'vealways just tried to live with gratitudeeven in the good and bad times and Isuppose it's come from reading and stuffbut your book sounds fantastic I know Iknow you would do something I didn'tknow you had written 40,000 whereas andI'm sure it's gonna be a big hit matebecause you're not just you're not justdoing a course or reading something andI'm writing a book about it like a lotof people out there do today you'velived it and one of the things which Ithink people will resonate with this yesyou understand the whole aspect ofcontrol in your life and takingresponsibility and accountabilitybecause only you can do that but you'realso showing your vulnerabilities inthat you had it under control then youwent away I think it was in April 2018and you lost it againthen you grasped it again and it'salmost like you know the answers butthen even even yourself with all themindset and the reading and all thehabits you still fall off a little bitand I suppose it'll get easierand I suppose sooner or later you willnail it down and you have less of thesekind of falling off the wagon shall wecall it moments but it's inspiring it'sit's something I'm sure a lot of peoplego through and a lot of people have thatkind of is it the victim mentality asopposed to the victim as you you've gotin somewhere in you I can feel this youdon't wanna let your sister down and I'mconfident you're not letting her downknowing the person that you are seeingyour transformation I just want to addone more thing I remember seeing yourfirst Facebook live videos and we werefriends at the time and nice to watch itI used to think this isn't the gin oh nolike did you know I know you know whenwe sit together and we go out you're funyou're laughing you're smiling and therewas almost like an element of hurt andanger or it could just be that was fiveo'clock in the morning I'm not sure butit was weird because I was like peopleneed to see the real gin and it's onlyrecently and I'm very proud of you forthis because in the last two or threemonths especiallyyou've kind of come out your shell andyou're almostgetting a bit of a following now whichis more than well deserved becauseyou've been through it and one of thethings I knew you always wanted to do1224 months ago was to help people andjust generally inspire people and Ithink you have in those in thebackground I'd always keep him there abit like my first YouTube video as Ikeep him there because I want people toknow listen myself and Jin for examplewe were naturally shy introverted peoplewho didn't know what was going on almostlooking around the world thinking do webelong here should we be telling peoplea story and this is one of the reasons Ireally wanted you to kind of tell yourstory because it's only gonna expandyou're only gonna inspire more peoplewith it so the question was gonna askwas about adversity first he's been amassive part of your life with like yoursister and your uncle and your dad soI'm gonna just kind of bypass that justever so slightly but if you could justquickly just give it like one tip so Iknow you use the book as an examplewhich really helped you overcome thegrief aspect but if there's somebodygoing through something now or ifsomebody out there has a friend orfamily member who's going through whatwould you recommend to them because Iknow I spoke to you briefly about thiswould you want people to come and speakto you about your sister or your fatheror would you prefer it was just kind ofswept under the carpet like the elephantin the room yeah that's a good pointreally because a lot of people likepeople that even speak to me it's allabout ityou know the never said a word and forme that that that that was worse Ibecause you know it's always there nowpeople might be daunted peak to about iton a racy or I don't have heard thatperson by bringing a memory back up butyou have to remember when you losesomebody you never always always thereit never goes away saying you're notgonna bring that memory back up you'renot gonna hurt me in any way you knowit's there he's not hasn't gone away sojoin me and asking me how I feel youshowing me that you you know it's notgoing away and you you're interested inhow I'm feeling and I'm thinking okaythank you for that I think that's usefulbecause myself as well I'm guilty ofthis myself is that you kind of feelshould I bring it back up again but Ithink you've hit the nail on the headthere this is a part of you now likeyour sisters loss is always going to bea part of something like you just saidyou it's a daily thing isn't it soI'd tell you eight people who areperhaps going through the same kind ofemotions or seeing someone they'restruggling with to kind of try maybetake that advice on board I'm not sayingit was the same but it would certainlyhelp most people okay if I test it thankyou for that Jude I just want to justmove this over a little bit what is yourbiggest fear I know you're a father andI've seen your daughter's they'readorable and you might say somethingabout them I'm gonna cheat here andyou're not allowed to mention your wifeor your two daughters so what is yourbiggest fear I think I'm always beenscared of heightsokay I'll get really nervous if I'mgoing to a certain height oh I said mywife and I we get too happy about it Isaid I'm really scared of heights I'mgonna gon do a parachute drop next yearand I go if I do that and that's one ofthe biggest gay things I'm scared ofthen I won't get on be scared on mychest so let's not run persuaderbut going a bit deeper you know thatthat's one thing I think a lot of peopleare scared of heights and what's otherthings yeah but going a bit deeper pinkfor me I don't want to wake up you knowone day when I'm you know 60 70 yearsold and say I wish I didI wish I did this or wish I did that weshould do this oh that's that'd be theworst thing for meI thought our druthers I'd rather wakeup at that point I you know I did thisbut he didn't work or it did work butyou know at least Detroit yeah I'drather be in that position and you knowI want to be I want to be an integrationtomorrow you know I said don't mentionyour wife and children is much worse youknow I wanna inspire them is what muchas anybody else and I won't be much ofan inspiration if I'm sitting there 6070 years old saying I wish I did thisalways I did the poor didn't envelope Ohfantastic great points okay so thereyou've heard it that is the buzzer thisis the fun part of the show so if you'restill with us thank youwhat I've got is a whole heap ofquestions that I'm gonna run through forthe next 60 seconds and it's up to Jinto try and answer as many as possible soJen are you ready ready three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when are your fame fameNetflix are YouTube they play coiling ortexting take it in Coke or Pepsi Pepsiwould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how Christmas orbirthdays their plays your coffee takesummer or winter summer your favoriteplace in the whole wide world Hong Kongspeak all languages or be able to speakto animals whole languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it bepoverty Facebook and LinkedIn Facebookwould you be able to read minds orpredict the future predict the futurehave you ever been in a fightoh we are actually coming towards theend of the show now there's so much morethat I could speak to gin about andhopefully I can get him back on thepodcast just to kind of maybe delve alittle bit more into the whole theadversity side because if you could takeanything away from this podcast is thatwhatever your current situation iswhether it's worse or whether it's thesame or slightly better than Jin'scurrent circumstances is that there islight at the end of the tunnel and Ithink gin shows that 1/3 isaccountability in moving forward in hisactions but two he's now becoming a verysuccessful property investor he's nowattracting a lot of investors so we'redefinitely gonna move it over to thefinal question so the final question Ihave today is if there was a book and Iknow actually you're gonna be creatingyour book next year but let's just saythere was a book written by somebodylet's call it your guardian angelsomebody looking over your shouldershe's seen everything you've been throughin life and they've written a book aboutyou unless say in 150 years time sciencefails to save us or and people are stillreading books what would the blurb ofthe booktell us about Jeannette well so I hopeit would take him in like this I wouldsay that Dean was a man that had mychild keeping his lifehowever never-never net life beat himdown he always got up and dusted himselfoff and kept moving forwardshe was an inspiration to us all that youonly have two choices in life really toget knocked down and stay down or get upand keep going he chose to keep going Imean lady did do that because it wasn'tonly a great husband father brother andsonhe's also a great human being he knewhow easy purpose was in life and thatwas to help young children sufferingfrom hardship have a better life and hestuck to that and he made many a manmade that crew for many childrenyou understood Roy's purpose was he'sbigger than him so he couldn't stopgoing Wow I'll tell you what if I seethat glyph I'd certainly pick it up andI just want to add to that he was also agreat friend as well so truly from theheart so there you have it guys that'san unbelievable story one riddled withups and downs which is still beingwritten and I think that's the mostexciting thing because Jin is stillwriting his story and I hope many of youfind that inspiring enlightening and I'msure Jin wouldn't mind I'll put you onthe spot here a little bit if youreached out to him if you ever want tospeak to him so what I'm gonna do is ifyou could just Nuttall just for theviewers if they want to reach out to youwhere is the one best place to find youand just personal message me on FacebookI don't like them definitely alwaysepital if I can inspire somebody andhelp them in any way I can on theirgreat way fantastic there you go guysJin well find him over on Facebook thankyou Jin for your time and as alwayspeople thanks for listening thank youand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 3 - The Art Of Connecting With Ourselves by Theodore TreveilTheodore Treveil also known as Theo, knows what it is like to hit rock bottom. He has had a life of so much adversity and hardship that rather than killing him, it has only made him so much stronger. Determined to find his voice and show the world he was more than his current circumstances he often lay there visualing."Visualise, visualise, visualise" - TheoFrom sleeping on the streets of Victoria Station to ridding himself of his drug addiction Theo has now taken a stand and truly connected with himself. In doing this his passion now is to touch as many lives as possible, with a 50,000 target next year. Titans Mastermind is his movement and is about becoming a Titan of your own life!Let me assure you, this is one guy whos story you want to follow, as it has only just begun..."Our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings influences our actions" - Theodore TreveilFollow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mohamed.abdulrahman.54540#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people yes that is correct myname is Aren and I am the host of theshowso today's interview was a fascinatinginterview it was I'd say certainly forme it was definitely a game-changer andthe reason I say that is because inhindsight there was so many moments whenI listened to it back where I kickedmyself I kicked myself for my poorpodcasting skills I kicked myselfbecause I never asked the right questionI kicked myself because I never acceptedsilence and I kind of rushed it becauseI was panicking about the recording andthe time and all of that stuff that youprobably don't think goes into a podcastNo one thing I will say is that I hopeyou find that in some way motivationalor inspiring because you do not have tobe perfect to start a podcast you do nothave to have all your ducks in a row soI kind of want you guys to take that onboard as well if there's something youtruly want to do just go out and do itgo ahead and do it pivot adjust and thengo forward again and that's what it'sall about but there's certainly times inthis interview and I'm definitely eagerto get him back for a second podcastmaybe in about six to twelve months timewhere we really gonna hone in on some ofhis answers because I think theemotional intelligence that he showedfor being such a young man wasincredible and I hope you could takeaway some of the insights and some ofthe lessons that he displays andhopefully you can follow him on hisjourney as well because he is absolutelyright in his own story right now he hasfound his voice and there's gonna be alot of good things coming from thisindividual I'm very confident of thatand hopefully I say hopefully as I'vecrossed my fingers right now which youcan't see my podcast goeswe'll improve as well so without furtherado let's get this podcast over the wayhi good morning Theo how we doing todayand fantastic today really excited to beon this podcast really excited to haveyou just for the listeners who arelistening me and Theo we exchanged a fewmessages via I think it was Facebookinitially and just hearing a summary ofhis story was I was quite amazed to behonest it was so interesting it wasalmost like a film created and then tofind out your age as well I think thelisteners are in for a treat so we'rejust quickly I just want to get yourfull name so it's Theodore travell isthat correct yes yes Theodore Wong okayfantastic so so that's the name you'reall gonna look out for so we're gonnaliterally start this for the listenersat home just to kind of get to know youa little bit so if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just please explain how youprogress through life and ended up whereyou are similar to kind of the story youtold me well it's been quite afascinating journey and it's a journeythat I have never anticipated it willtake me where I am today so it was onlyquite a few years ago when I came acrossnetwork marketing from a friend I'vealways been the passionate type and theenthusiastic type even when my life wascompletely the other way aroundI've always felt a sense of I want tohelp people I want to serve people Iwant to do more for people and this wasmy why and this driver was was what wasguiding me through a lot of challengesand obstacles in life and so what hashappened was this drive that I had thispassion that I had it took me from alife of crime a life of drug a life of alot of negativity and it brought me intopositivity but just when I thought myjourney was beautiful and it ended soperfectly this was when I was reallytested and this was when I was reallychallenged so my parents they were froma very religious background and they'refrom a very cultural background andpersonal development wasn't somethingthat they really entirely got orunderstood so I was going through thismental transformation there's spiritualtransformation and emotionaltransformation and they started the theystarted becoming more alien to me and Istarted to become moreinto them and this trip into bought mefrom network marketing into wanting tostart my own business coaching andserving people and as this progressed onone mindset just constantly justcontinue changing changing changingchanging and then came a point where Istarted to really question my identitythe person that my parents have broughtme up to believe I was the religion Iwas brought up in the name that I wasbrought up in I just challengedeverything because I just thought Icould not be a hundred and twentypercent myself as I am beingindoctrinated with other people'sbeliefs and volumes and rulesso first came okay I'm reallyparticularly believe in this religionand I don't really think it's a religionfor me to be following and that was onething that I've let go off and then camemy name and then came he just everybelief every rules that my parents haveever brought me up on I just questionedtheir one at a time and the ones that Ilike yes I okay you know there's acompromise I can make that but the onesthat I thought was absolutely no thiswas not going to serve me on my journeythis wasn't going to help me create areality that I want to create impactlives how I want to impact are not letgo of them and this was quite a shock tomy parents because you know if someoneraises you want to be a certain way andyou want entirely the opposite way it'sa pan interrupts it's an interruptionmark so they were just very shockedemotionally shocked and if just shockedeven it just even affected their healthto the point they had to go to hospitaland you know we raised our son this wayand now he's telling us he's entirely adifferent way and they couldn't reallyaccept it they couldn't really tolerateand soon enough I found myself outsideon the street homeless for three monthswith nothing but just faith nothing butbelief and nothing but vision that youknow I was going to overcome this I wasgoing to continue believing and continuehaving faith and continue going onforward no matter what anyone says nomatter what anyone does and no matterwhat anyone throws at me this is what Iam about this is my vision this is mypurpose Ireally believing it and I'm willing tomake any sacrifice to run with it andsee it till the end Wow just in thatshort little bit what you just saidthere there's so many nuggets ofinformation that I think I just want toquickly point out for the listeners ifyou don't mind firstly your emotionalintelligence could you just let everyoneknow how old you are23 23 okay so anyone listening to thisthis guy is 23 now if you're anythinglike me at the age of 23 I had nowherenear the level of emotional intelligencethat you you've just displayed there anda couple of things you've you've justpointed out there so religion obviouslyI'm not here to talk about religion it'snot what this podcast is about but mypersonal opinion is that obviouslypeople need something to believe in sowhether they choose religion or not onething you managed to find in that bitwhich I just kind of highlighted I madea note of list when you were homelessfor three months which we will elaborateon shortly if that's okay with yourselfis you had the belief in something andthat's something I believe is yourselfis that is that right would you wouldyou agree with definitely a hundredpercent and the reason why was becausewhen I was first homeless I was lookinginto some false or some energy and somecreator outside of me and now again likeyou said I'm not here to talk aboutreligion or any of that or cover any ofthat however the other part of when Iwas homeless so for the other two fromthe second month and the third month Istarted believing more in myself I'munderstanding that I had the resources Ihad the tools and I was forced withinmyself Wow Wow just just there as well Imean for anyone that follows selfdevelopment personal developmentresourcefulness I think Tony Robbinshe's probably the Guru of personaldevelopment that's something he speaksabout and I'll put my hand on my heartand be honest here I'm 32 now and onlyrecently have I understood the power ofthis sauce fulness which you'redemonstrating at such an early age isservedI'm excited me I'm actually exciting orwhat you're going to bring to the futureI think because you've got real-lifeexperiences as well that I'm sure manypeople are going through or may gothrough that hopefully they canobviously resonate with your story likeI said after free month of experience inhomelessness it was just the mostpowerful period of my life and why I saybecause I've been indevelopment for three years it was onlywithin just a short period of threemonths that I had to condense everythingreally put it into practicality and soat first when I was homeless it was Iwas just so self-destructive I startedmy old habit of smoking I had a veryquick mentality I had a very wise Godagainst me kind of mentality but thenlater on and it's crazy like it's crazylater on in the second third month Ijust started meditating more and thiswas when I was literally when I had noidea where I was going to sleep or wherewould wind up and I always winded upeither in hostels or strangest placesbut I just I just had no more fear I wasjust meditate and I was really connectedI was really like this is going to turnout as it's meant to turn out and Ibelieve everything happens for us andnot to us and now after free month Imanaged to find my own sharedaccommodation and from there always justgoing on to building my dream which I'mcurrently right now in Wowoh haha I'm actually getting goosebumpslistening to this is it's fascinatingjust emulation to the drugs so I've hadexperience of family members using drugsa lot of alcohol abuse especially couldyou elaborate a little bit on that wasthat a dark period or was it justrecreational it was a very dark periodbecause when I was taking drug it wasalso a period of my life or time where Ifelt suicidal okay I felt like I justwant to kill myself but I didn't havethe courage or the determination to gothrough with it so I thought what otherway can I you know slowly in my life andI slowly and my dream cannot slowly justend all these pain away and you knowit's very it was very II it's very easyfor me to judge myself and be like ohthat was a very bad action for me to doin but the reality is I knew at thattime when I was taking drug I was doingwhat I was doing to the best of myknowledge and so therefore I always sayyou do better when you know better andthat was what I knew at the time andthat's what I was using at the time torelieve my pain but I felt like it was avery important period of my life to Ineeded to experience that and to gothrough that in order to be where I amtoday life is all about balance andduality you know you don't knowif you don't know good if you don't knowbad so you don't know a terribleexperienceyou don't know a great experience unlessyou know a terrible experience so I'mgrateful I think you just touched onsomething fantastic there as long you dobetter when you know better and one ofthe traits that you've you've definitelyhighlighted in just this short amount oftime so far is a growth mindset and I'mnot sure how far your personaldevelopment goes but growth mindset wascertainly something for me that Isuppose it affected my ego initiallybecause we think we've got it allfigured out and you know having thatfixed mindset and you're demonstratinghere that you needed to know betterin such a short amount of time and youalso touched upon something how yourhabits was a congruent say for instancewith your vision but one thing I wouldpoint out and this is more for thelisteners as well is that just becauseyou do something I if you an extra sliceof cake or something for example itdoesn't necessarily make you a badperson that particular action I thinkthat's the problem with society we kindof beat ourselves down almostunnecessarily that's such a powerfulthing for you to say because I was onlysharing it on my social media friendsthe other day that look there's no suchthing as stupid peoplethere's only people that do stupidthings our actions should never defineus and this was a huge lesson that I hadto learn when I was homeless thatwhatever I'm doing right now andwhatever I'm experiencing right now itisn't me it shouldn't define me yes I amdoing this and I should just enjoy itwhile I'm doing it rather than feelguilty and beat myself up about itbut once I'm done let me beself-reflective let me say was thatreally a wise decision why was I reallydoing this what emotion what deep-rootedemotion is there into this and how can Iheal that and love that so I can moveall of my lives just give me a momentthere it's fantastic um I want to thisis more for myself my own curiosity herejust one day of living she would call ithomeless or on the streets or whereveryou were living if you could justexplain that to people because I thinkin society nowadays we kind of we see itwe feel bad for a few seconds but wedon't actually know the extent to whatit takes from a person if that makessense so if you could just pour uponthat a little bit please okay well oneparticular and this was a period thiswas a particular day whereI just felt like I hit rock like one andthat was where now when I went to thatnight I thought I had a place here tostay which I didn't and I only hadaround a pound or so on my debit cardliterally and my credit card I knew Iwasn't going to be able to book any roomand I know I'm going to be able to goanywhere so I thought okay where can Igo and it seems like Victoria Stationseems to be the spot for a lot ofhomeless people so I went to VictoriaStation and I was really tiredI was extremely exhausted bowels alsocold I was really cold so I couldn'tjust sleep anywhere because I needed tofind somewhere which I couldn't so I goon to Victoria Station I go in therewhere all the coaches are and I'm justpretending like I'm there sittingwaiting for a coach to arrive an hourhas went by two hours went by threehours went by and I thought okay I can'tdo this anymore so I found a big bannerand one of the places two big bannersand I put it together to hide myselfbecause there's a security guard therethat constantly checks around to see ifthere's any homeless people sleeping andthen she kicks them out so I found twobig banners and then I put them togetherto hide behind this corner and I wassleeping there I was cold but I couldn'tfeel my feet and it was really reallycold and this was a time to like can iare now sleeping on the floor I wasn'teven stealing you know anything I wasrock floor to myself is there any morerock bottom I can hit them this I haveno moneyI've asked all my friends if I couldstay over their place and nobody reallyhad you know has that opportunity to letme stay in a place and I'm here sleepingon the floor and this was a time where Iwas also working in peds Express so Ihad a jaw I was sleeping in VictoriaStation and I had a job at the same timeso the next day I had to go back to WestWestville Center to go to my job wearingthe same clothes sleeping in the sameclothes and doing everything in the sameclothes and my mentality was literallylike okay this is it I can do it is Idon't want to do this anymore I want toquit my job I just want to quiteverything I just want to quit my lifebut it was also a beautiful period oftime because and this is what I say guysvisualize visualize visualize this was aperiod of my time well sleepin on Victorstation I was sleeping on the floor Iwas called but I closed my eyes and Ijust visualized my future I just thoughtokay you know what maybe I may not beable to change my outside circumstancesand situations but I can most certainlychange out what I'm internallyprocessing him right now I do nottolerate any of this to internally be apart of me so I just closed my eyes Icould see myself standing on stagespeaking to people coaching clientsone-to-one be in a business doing whatit is that I'm passionate about and loveto do you know without any of theseobstacles becoming an obstacle and itwas so amazing because even at that timewhen the security god came and she foundand she was like get out she shouted atme I'm still okay with the house I cameto accept my reality knowing that thisone wasn't going to be my last andreality and I just got okay okay let mejust go along with this and let me justlook brighter for him yeah let me lookto the next day and then the next daycame I went to my friend and anopportunities just came networkmarketing came and a lot of things cameand my friend actually allowed me tostay over her place for a month so thisis the power of visualization WowI think I think you're a true exampleand this is why I really wanted to kindof get you on this podcast is that youliterally took control and you picked upthat pen and you started writing yourown story and this is kind of one of thethings that I always try and bring outof other people is that throughout lifewe kind of pigeon-holed into certainways for example do this because you'regood at it what you've kind of done isyou've sat back and you thought hold ona second Who am I who is theall andyou've picked up that pen and even we'reprobably a lot of people because I'lltell you somethingI mean I'm I can't handle any sort ofcold people that normally I'm constantlygot a hoodie on and I'm struggling so tohave that resilience and still have thevisualization like you said visualizevisualize visualize to believe that oneday you will achieve what you're doingand now I know looking at your story nowyou're there and that's fantastic so Idon't want to give too much away to thelisteners because I'd rather hear itfrom yourself but what you're whatyou've said there what you visualizedthere is kind of what you doing nowisn't it so if you could just give us aday in the life of the or now pleasewell I believe right now I wear on mylife it's ever-growing it'sever-evolving but it's goingexactly in the right direction it'smeant to go out so alive for me today isjust I'm currently running programs andcourses 21-day programs and coursesteaching people exactly the step to stepthat I used when I was homeless and whenI didn't have a place and even when Iwas going through my struggle and how Iovercame that mentally because I reallybelieve it's our internal wall thatcreates our external world and whateverwe are able to conceive within us we'reable to create outside of us so we onlyhave a lot of 21 day programs right nowthat I'm doing and I've just actuallystarted running a mastermind group onlyquite a few days ago called Titansmastermind creating leaders that areheart centered and that really want togo and travel and inspire people tobecome a more heart centered and tobecoming more authentic and genuine intheir work in their field of workwhatever that work may be and you knowdoing these podcasts being able to sharemy story and being able to be invited tospeak in on stage so I'm really reallygrateful and I never take thisopportunity for granted because I knowwithin me I have experienced a lot andI've learnt a lot and now I feel it's myresponsibility and duty to go out thereand to share with other people in orderfor them to unlock their potential andgift and create a reality that isbeautiful for them that is fantastic sofor anyone listening you've just heardtheir and obviously at the end of theshow we'll give you direct access toTheo but there's a there's programs outthere as masterminds but what I alwaystry and shy people away from is not justgoing on the internet and looking atsomeone who's paid a couple of thousandpounds for a Facebook ad and he'sdressed up in a nice smart shirt whatI'm trying to find throughout thispodcast as well myself he's authenticgenuine people like Theo here who'swho's actually been there who canactually tell you listen this is exactlywhat you need this is the blueprint so Iurge anyone who's in that position toreach out and can I be honest there andI've done that I've tried I've tried thewhole because when I first started thisit's very easy to get into the idea thatwe need to wear suit we need to sound acertain way we need to look a certainway we need to be a certain way in orderfor us to be successful and that's why Isay yeah my personal growthand your preneur journey really startedthis shit because the past two years itwas exactly the same way I used to lookat people in suits and I used to thinkokay let me wear soon let me cook youwhat they're saying let me do whatthey're doing and letting you go outthere and you're getting a client andthen I realized people really just buyinto hearts they don't buy like yesimage may play a contribution and makeplay a little factor but really andtruly people buy into hearts absolutelyso that's what I'm really about in mymission I'm not here to create 21stcentury business people I'm here tocreate 21st century heart centeredpeople I love that I love that messageand I appreciate your honesty there aswell and showing how you thought aboutit initially so I've got I've got nodoubt and I'm sure people listening tothis have no doubt that you will achieveall of this and create some amazingpeople well I say create I thinkeveryone's already got it in themselvesyou'll help them bring it out or supposeso from the moment you wake up in themorning are there other things or habitsthat people could say copy for exampleto kind of get that right mindset sowe've had guests previously who follow amiracle morning or we have certainpeople who anchor themselves to the gymor a long run meditation I mean I knowyou briefly touched on meditationearlier if you could just give a coupleof key things that you make sure thatyou get done in your day in order tokeep you moving forward before I sharethat can I share something absolutely soI'm gonna be sharing what I do in everysingle day regularly in my morninghowever as you listen to this really andtruly what I want is for you to findwhat suits you what really resonateswith you and what really connects withyou it's not I might suggest a lot ofthings like share I'm gonna be sharingright now but you find what suits andconnects with you because I've triedcooking in many other people's routineand you know on a superficial level Iwas starting to feel the difference buton a deeper level I still knew it wasn'treally connecting with me and it wasn'treally making a lasting transformationand ultimately that's what you should beseeking for isn't a temporarytransformation it's a lastingtransformation sustainability yeah sofor me I tried the morning routinemorning miracle routine and only a weekago I actually spot twoto go stop so what my morning routineright now really consists of is and it'sjust so simple but I actually reallyfeel the difference when I don't do itwhen I do do it which is I do one hourmeditation but these meditations areactually split into frees one meditationis for forgiveness and love so anyonethat I've been holding on to that I feellike I can't forgive just use that timeto forgive them and to let go of themand just send them as much love aspossible but also send a lot of planningand send forgiveness to the planet and Ifeel like as I do that because as I dothat I just release whatever needs to bereleased within me every single day is anew day every single day is a newchapter so for me it's an absolute thatI'm not taking whatever happenedyesterday or two years ago three yearsago even three months ago into mypresent life into my present moment soforgiveness and love is my first selfmeditation the other second set ofmeditation is visualization what do Iwant my day to be like feel like what doI want to accomplish today and I justvisualize it so vividly I don't mean ona superficial level like hey I'm gonnamake a thousand a thousand a thousandpounds I mean really coming from a placewhere I know I'm I am right now I knowI've got the resources and tools inorder to make this a real day and mylast set of meditation is reallygratitude what am i grateful for I lovea quote that says here as you go on topursuing what it is that you want topursue don't forget to be grateful forwhat you have today so my finalmeditation is just great gratitudegratitude not even just for the greatthings in life but also for the thingsthat I have heard for the things thatkind of taught me a lesson because likeI said I wouldn't know joy had I notknown pain so I just take it all in asone and I'm just so grateful for andthen after that when I finish all that Ido yoga I'm half an hour of yoga reallyconnect with my breathing because mygrieving is navigating me through lifebuddies navigate through life and mylast thing I do is just join in it sowriting down what the experience waslike in terms of my meditation my yogawhat I am what I'm gonna enjoy about orwhat I enjoyed about yesterday were I'mgonna enjoy about today and justanything journaling anything tostructure my thoughts to structure mymind because you know we have twelvethousand to seventhousand thoughts a day so if we're notable to structure a piece of paper we'regoing to be confused about what it isthat we want from our life we're goingto be confused in where it is what we'regoing and we're gonna make a veryindecisive decision Wow okay so just torecap on that then so we've got the ourmeditation which is looking atforgiveness in love they move up thevisualization on a deeper level and thengratitude followed by yoga journaling aswell okay fantastic and it's a greatpoint that you just said actually therebecause and I should have picked this upmyself was not to just copycat someoneelse because I've done it I've had allthese routines and I've sinned likesuccess for entrepreneurs that maybe IHoward in high esteem and I've been likeokay if you can do this I can do thisbut then you've got to look at your ownlife and it's got to be sustainable foryour own life so if you're if you'rewaking up at par 4 for example or the 4a.m. club but then you're half asleep by12 o'clock it's not really sustainable Ithink that's a great point that peopleshould find their own stuff but I wouldcertainly recommend I mean most of thestuff you mentioned there the greatleaders of the world all sort ofimplement in their day so thank you forsharing that I appreciate it so we'vetouched briefly on your past and I thinkadversity comes as one of the firstwords when we think about your strugglesand how you've got to where you've gotto in this particular time if we canjust sideline the homelessness just fora second and if you could just point outone other particular time where you facegreat adversity but you perseveredthrough it and what I want you to do isif you if you wouldn't mind just take afew seconds to really try and putyourself back in that moment just tokind of give the listeners some realtrue authentic feeling of what it waslike and then how you got through it andthen obviously we can move on and seewhat lessons you learn from that and youknow as you ask that question now I feelreally connected to my my emotionbecause the reason being is I want toshare a quote with you that I cameacross which is so powerful until thisday I live by this quote it's aphilosophy it's a way of life for mewhich is I am not who I think I am I amnot who we think I am who I think youthink I am and so for me it's we we liveour whole life through other people'slenses other people's perceptionyou know it's like really how much ofwho we are is it really who we are andso for me the greatest adversity I guessI faced was when I was in that period oftime where I just thought okay you knowI can quit all this and this was when Iwas at my friend's place you know shewas allowing me to live with her for amonth and then now I had to go out thereand I had to find my own place and Ijust fought can't do this I really can'tdo this what on earth was I thinkingyou know really coming on my truth I'mreally living in my truth I'm still akid I still won't know what the hell I'mdoing I'm still young and I felt at thatperiod of time I just felt like I couldjump off a train track and I felt like Icouldn't care less that was when I wasunder I was on the ground and I thoughtlet me just jump off there as you canclearly see the pattern when I washomeless there was a lot of times I feltsuicidal a lot it wasn't just once itwas quite intense quite a time so thatwas my greatest adversity it was reallyI knew what I wanted to do I knew whereI was going with this but then my egojust started coming out of nowhere andstarted challenging that and this iswhat I'm going to tell you when you havethe courage and the determination andthe faith to go out there and to pursuewhat it is that you believe in it's noteven what other people are telling youthat is the greatest challenge is whatyou're telling yourself you know thatdull part of you that that self and Ican't do it I'm not good enough andreally intuitive what you need areShort's office where did this come fromit didn't come from you it must havecome from somewhere else because reallyand truly we are light we are love weare all that is good you know we are allthat is courage and faith and otherwisehumanity wouldn't be out where it istoday so anytime that I was experiencingthat I just asked myself is this reallymy voice or is this just the voices ofpeople outside of me or the naysayersand so there's a great quote that EricThomas once says if the enemy withincan't attack the enemy outside could doyou know how so that was my greatestadversity it was my own soft or my ownown own disbelief but I overcame that Iloved that is this really my voice and Ithink so often all our limiting beliefsthroughout life is mainly is peopleteachers it could be your parents itcould be your friends your family yourpeers and I'm guilty of it myself to behonest I think I am where I am now in amuch better place but the last seveneight years with just me followingaround what other people wanted from meI suppose and trying to trying to pleaseother people I suppose and that's kindof the world we live in especially withsocial media being so so prevalent ineveryone's daily life that you're almosttrying to keep up with the Jonesesyou're almost trying to have a highlightreel as opposed to writing your ownstory if that makes sense and you knowwhat the hard part about that all is iswe can try to lie to ourselves and thisis a great insight that was given to melet's just say for example right nowfear is bigger than your dream let'sjust say that let's just say you knowyou you know it is that you want to dobut you're just too scared to do it soyou'll just give away you will just giveit away and you'll be like no I'm notgonna pursue this I'd rather stick to mycomfortable life a year from now you maynot experience the difference two yearsfrom now you may not experience thedifference three years maybe not butultimately there will come a time wherethat voice what if comes and I reallybelieve resistance then turns intophysical illness so that means that youhave a lot of people that are successfulthat have accomplished so much in lifeyet they're sick they're spirituallysick they're mentally sick they'reemotional in you're sick they're notfulfilled they're not content they knowthe art they know the mechanic tosuccess but they don't know the art offulfillment they're not experienced inthat so I always say like you know whatyou can risk ityou can try and live all comfortable asyou want but how long is it really gonnalast and how deep is it really and Ibelieve a lot of our successes and a lotof the happiness that comes from oursuccesses is very superficialfor me what I'm interested in is reallycreating a lasting fulfillment andhappiness in my life that comes fromwithin my soul not just for meaccomplish and achieving mechanicsuccess based things I love the answerbecause I had a debate with somebodyabout this previously so I'm not gonnaspeak about myself too much here but oneof the things my mom who's like my bestfriend always taught me was always aboutgiving and like the importance of beinggrateful and just helping as many peopleas possible and I remember as a childwhilst a child was about 15 I got myjob and I was working as a salesassistant and I had something like 42pounds or something I think it was andstraightaway I went home and this waswithout any sort of guidance or anythingI and not many people know this and Isponsored a child straightaway and I andI donated the about four pounds to likeWaterAid and I think it was cancer Ididn't have much we come from humblebeginnings and throughout my life I'vealways whatever I've had I've tried togive as much as I possibly can and thereason I say this is because youmentioned something there about thesuperficial part and you mentioned aboutfulfillment because I believe there'stwo different types of people on a macrolevel and what I believe is you havepeople who genuinely just have a desireto help people and then you have peoplewho achieve all this amazing successfeel somewhat unfulfilled feel unhappyand then what they do is in return startdoing charities getting a sense offulfillment now I'm not here to sayone's right and one's wrong and one'sbetter than the other because I believeanyone who helps anyone in any way isdoing a great service but I can trulysee within you for somebody who's beenat the bottom who's still there with youknow trying to be positive a positivebeacon to the world you've got thatfirst trait you're the person who'salways wanted to help you're not theperson who's I when I when I make amillion pounds and I've got the car inthe house then maybe I'll take a bit oftime at and it's like my friend saysthough my personal development is ourpersonal development the work that Ileave today will be left to futuregenerations yeah so that's why it's evenmore important that you know at the endof the day yes enjoy life yes you knowmake the most of it but make sure thatif you're going to leave this planetneither we've leave it in a great wayleave it in a way that's so positivethat future generations where they cometo come alive and grow up here they canpick it up from somewhere positive I'msure the listeners I get in plenty ofnuggets see I'd even recommend pause inthis just to kind of take in some of thesome of the stuff you say and there'ssome fantastic quotes there as well byThomas somebody who I have a lot ofadmiration for as well deal we're gonnawe're gonna just switch gears a littlebit here I wanna I want to ask you andagain I mean I don't really need to saythis to you because you're very wellthought out but if you could just tellme what your biggest fear is not notliving up to my full potential and giftlet me share a story with you actuallyand this is what really scares me when Iwas born I was born and this was 1995and I was a civil war going on and youknow there were a lot of soldiers firinga.k rifles and ask where you were bornsorry to Tamale so there were they werefiring aka rifles and there was onebullet could have potentially really hitme in the head and I could have died andas a child so I really I don't take mylife for grantedI believe every single day is a miracleand my biggest fear is not living up tothat miracle and that opportunity andchance that has been given to me Wowsee that's a remarkable story and it'ssomething that I even now I take I'm sograteful of my circumstances when I wasborn and I'm sure everyone listening tothis as well never came from such a sucha difficult start it was almost like theodds were against you from the start butyou kept persevering so I'm confidentthat you will destroy that fear shall wesay and you will live up to yourpotential and if I can help in any wayor if anyone listening to this can helpin any way then certainly reach out toTheo thank you for that I appreciate itwe've kind of spoken obviously aboutyour wire your inspiration yourmotivation and I suppose I don't want tokind of repeat the same question againbut do you have days where you justdon't feel like doing anything and Iwant you to be completely honest herebecause yes we will ever why we all wantto change our parents lives our wiveslives our partners lives we have a goalto help serve people let them writetheir own story let them find theirvoice and all of that stuff but in thosemoments where you're not feeling quiteup to it because I know it happens to meand I'm pretty confident it happens to99% of the people out there otherwisethey're lying so when it does happen toyou what keeps you going on that day Iwould say it would be alive for me tosay no I have experience and this is noquestion I was just asked me today wasalso asked to me last night and I wouldsay yes I have a lot of days where Idon't want to wake up out of bed and Idon't want to do anything and I justwant to quit and I just want to give upand I just want to say you know what letme justaround and do absolutely nothing becauseit's challenging it's like first yourpersonal growth is the most remarkablethe most exciting the most fun thing butat the same time is the most challengingthing because what it really brings outis triggers what it really brings out isa lot of part of you that you've beenneglecting and suppressing so for medays there where I actually start toexperience these triggers which was likethree days ago where I was supposed togo to this event but I just felt like Idon't want to go to it I don't want towake up our bed I just want to stay inbed I just wanted to be tucked under myduvet and I just want to sleep and whatreally you know I don't push thatfeeling and I don't resist that feelingI embrace it because like I said everyemotion that is a deep-rooted reason towhy we're feeling what we're feelingthere is a reason behind every feelingso the way I motivate myself is I try toget to the 80 grit T of why I'm feelingthat way what is this really about itisn't about the fact that it's just coldand I just don't want to go out there'sa real deep root very concerning reasonwhy and I get into that why and Iexplore every possibility I question inevery way so that therefore is got noway of taking over me because you knowour thought creates our feeling and ourfeeling influences our action so I justask as many questions about this feelingas possible I try to really cover itfrom all aspect of like you know acylinder and soon enough is that oh okaythat's why that's why I'm feeling thisway and then when I accept and Iacknowledge it I just think to myselfyou know what this is my thought this ismy feeling but it doesn't have to be andsomething that I act upon it you know Iget to choose how I want to respond tothis so once I can really get into whyI'm feeling the way I'm feeling and thenI choose to respond and the way I chooseto respond is I just love it Iacknowledge is that and I say to myselfyou know what I can rather act on thisbut I know I'm gonna regret it later onI could just choose what feels hardright now but ultimately later on I'mgonna be very thankful and grateful forit so that's how I motivate myself Idissect and you're very very self awarein order to be able to kind of separatethose things the reason I asked that aswell is becausewhen I went on my entrepreneurialjourney when I used to have those days Iused to absolutely beat myself up and Iused to be like I'm a bad husband I'm abad businessman I used to just basicallylabel myself based on my mood that dayand then what one of the quotes I thinksuch a from a song and it says it's okaynot to be okay and I love that becauseyou can use that across all walks oflife but when I say that then I'd thenadopt a similar approach to yourselfokay so kay not to be okay today andmaybe I don't feel like working out forexample or going to a conference eventbut what I will do is understand whythat is happening and you hit the nailon the head there because really trulyunderstanding the deeper reason behindwhy you do what you do if you can masterthat then you can almost I suppose nexttime it comes handle it much betterwould you agree with that it is it isbut this is the biggest problem thebiggest problem is people are very muchfocused on outside in rather than insideout because you know we can't resistinstant gratification so we can't resistinstant result but what people need toreally understand is that it's when youwork from within you take ten stepforward rather than just taking one stepforward so yeah it really really is Ithink it's just you have to reallyunderstand why you're not feelingmotivated when you're not me feelingmotivate don't try to suppress and I'mforce yourself to do something that youdon't want to do if you don't feel likeyou're going for a run today don't gofor a run today then you know but thenpeople is that you've gotta push you'vegotta push you've gotta push there'swhat happens when you push the sameproblem repeatedly shows up in your lifeagain and again and again and today itmay be very subtle but tomorrow's gonnabe very big and very overwhelming andyou'll find it even harder to overcomeit okay guys you've heard the buzzer gooff and that means it's the most funpart of the show so what I'm gonna bedoing is putting Theo through his pacesand I'm gonna set the timer for 60seconds and I'm gonna be asking him asmany questions as possibleTheo you've got no time to think I wantyour first answer okay okay start inthree two oneokay Theo the ability to fly or beinvisible fly money or fame fameNetflix our YouTubeclicks calling or texting calling Cokeor Pepsi coke would you rather know howyou would die or when you were dying howI would die Christmas or birthdaysChristmas tea or coffee tea summer orwinter summer your favorite place in thewhole wide worldOh Brazil Brazil Brazil Brazil would youknow how to speak all the languages inthe world will be able to speak toanimals and animals if you could abolishone thing in the world what would it begreed Facebook or LinkedIn Facebook readminds or predict the future read mindscats or dogs cats have you ever been ina fightyes did you win no last question yourfavorite movie star Hugh named fromWolverine Hugh Jackman yeah Hugh Jackmanokay fantastic brilliant okay that'stime just that was very interesting Ijust thought I'd just mix it up a littlebit the Hugh Jackman thing I'm not sureif you've sinned he's recent from thegreatest showmen um I wonder what sure Ihaven't seen about how the great thingsabout yeah well it's the musical soinitially I was kind of like under fencewith it I don't know about you but I'mquite an emotional guy saying say Joeand I remember watching that and I waswatching it with the wife and likethere's quite a few scenes that werereally kind of touching and I thinkespecially with your story as wellbecause this without giving too muchaway it's a guy with a dream he's gothis partner supporting him and he's justgoing through all these obstacles andadversities to kind of get to where hewants to get to you know the songs arepowerful but it's a brilliant movie andespecially if you're a fan of him somake sure you check that one out buddydefinitely thank you I only think thefriends between him and me is how I needto find my partner which I'm sure youall sure they'll come running in okay sowe've got two more questions left thenext question is about reflectionobviously hindsight's a wonderful thingand upon reflection we can always thinkof ways to get to where we are currentlyquicker do the things we're currentlydoing earlier or perhaps just movetowards that goals that bigbut I guess the journey also teaches usa lot as well and sometimes I supposeyou could say everything happens for areason so what I want to know is if youcould go back in time to one particularmoment where you really struggled andsuffered with adversity and just whispersomething in your ear knowing what youknow now what would that be it was whenI came back from Slovenia and to go tomy parents house and to finally reallylay out the balls for them so to tellthem okay this is who I am and this iswho I've become and this is my desiresand these are my visions and you know itdoesn't really resonate and connect withyou so what I would have told myselfwhen I was when I made that decision wasthat rather than doing it in a verydefensive way do it in a very loving waybecause a very beautiful quote I reallyenjoy unlike is that love and honestycan penetrate through anything in lifeparticularly when it comes to those hardconversations that you were having withyour family or your friends if you do sowith hate intent or doubt or anger orfrustration or irritation or even asense of fire within you you know it'llnever turn out exactly the way it canpossibly turn out but if you do it froma place of love and honesty no matterhow how great the mistake or how greator how hard the conversation is if youdo it from a place of like I'm justgonna do this in a very loving way andI'm gonna do this in a very honest wayI'm sure things would have turned out abit differently so that's what I willthat's what I would have told myself isas you're having that conversation it'sokay to speaking your truth continuedoing that but change the intent a bitdo it from a place of love and not froma place of doubt anger frustration orirritation love and honesty canpenetrate through anything in lifeokay so sadly we're at the last questionnow if if we fast forward and we move up150 years in time and sadly sciencefails to save us or if there wassomebody who wrote a book about theodoretravel and it's sitting there and thensomebody else walks over and picks upthat bookand realizes there's too many pages toread here do I really want to read thisso instead they turn it over and theylook at the blurb in the back what doesthat blurb tell him so if there was abook what would what it will tell themis who was I really that's what he willtell them the most enjoyable andbeautiful part about the life I'm livingright nowis every single day I'm a differentperson and it's not to say oh the personI am today is you know fake andsomewhere tomorrow person's gonna bereal but every single day I get theopportunity to unravel a part of methat's always being there but it's justbeing shy it's being scared away alwaysbeen frightened away so who was Theodorebecause like I said I changed my name myname used to be Mohammad and today myname is Theodore and I can change thattomorrow so it's just who was I reallyWho am I reallyand I think the person that picks upthat book and see that I wanted toexcite as they're reading that I wantthem to challenge themselves and askthemselves so if this person you knowwas able to change his name and is ableevery single day he's evolving whatabout me Who am I and that is the mostpowerful question because once you canhave that question which I believe it'san ongoing journeyyou're not gonna fully a hundred percenthack it you know you want to be overfifty percent at least two beautiful itreally is a beautiful beautiful thing tounderstand who you really are and juston the sidelines so Who am I I reallybelieve the way to summarize Who I am isjust divine I love that I love that I'msure they'll pick up the book and readall of it if you said that absolutelyfantastic my friend okay so for anyonelistening that now I'm sure you canagree that was an unbelievable story andone that is still being written and Ithink they all hit the nail on the headthere where he explained that it's anongoing journey and that's the same forall of us even myself even as I gothrough the process of trying to becomea podcaster I'm still learning and evenmy self development in other aspects butthey always certainly demonstratedamazing traits and his story iscertainly one that I urge all of you toreach out and speak to him about so whatI'm gonna do is I'm gonna give Thiel achance now to basically let us know theone best place where you can find himthank you so muchby the way this has been such aprivilege and what you're doing isabsolutely incredible thank you so muchthank youso like I said right now I'm actuallyworking an exciting exciting excitingnew project which is called the Titansmastermind and my vision and passion forquite a while has always been to createa community where we can all supportempower inspire each other withauthenticity integrity love and honestyand just just about anything that ispositive and heart centered so I'vequite recently started this few days agoand already right now I've got six orseven members but by next Jim and that'swhy I don't plan on doing this alone Iplan on touching as many lives aspossible so that therefore they cancreate a ripple effect by next year Iwonder I want that to reach 50 K so 50 Kmembers were all supporting each other'sbusiness were all supporting each otherin personal life professional life soit's cool Titans among us Titansmastermind and it's really about helpingyou become the Titan of your life owningyour life and really running your lifeas you want it to join in you know justand follow me on Facebook and drop me amessage and I will invite you into thegroup yeah it's a very safe place as avery comfortable place it's not justit's not all about just money motivationit has so much more to do with that soany support you need any assistance youneed whether it is business whether it'syour life all there iswhatever struggle you're going throughcome and come along and join it becausethis is the one thing that I wish I hadthree years ago when I was in thebeginning of my personal growth journeyyou know being able to be in anenvironment where I wasn't just kind ofbeing superficially honest I was beingreally honest some people were takingthat in that would they were absorbingit in there with digesting in and theyjust had so much excitement into helpingme so I wish I had that and so today Ihad the opportunity to create that sowhy not so if you are and whateverwherever you are in your journey whetheryou feel like you're doing great and youdon't be there whether you're in themiddle whether you're in the beginning Ibelieve we all need support so comealong join in let's have fun and let'screate 2019 to become an awesome yearthey are is that free to access foranyone in the public yeah it's a freeattack so yeah so it's a closed groupthat's why I message me forso I can invite what number is free yeahwhat I will do is I'll put all the oddsdetails in the show notes as well so youcan direct message him personally I justwant to say thank you to Thiel fortaking time out of his day today andsharing his fantastic story I'm surewe're all gonna hear and see his name alot more I mean this guy is like wisebeyond his years he's he's so young he'sdoing incredible things so I know mynext job after this call is to get onthat Facebook group as well so Theo ifyou wouldn't mind adding me in as wellplease definitely I'd appreciate thatbuddy and for everyone else at homethanks for listening thank you so muchand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My Back Pages Bob Dylan   Crimson flames tied through my earsRollin’ high and mighty trapsPounced with fire on flaming roadsUsing ideas as my maps“We’ll meet on edges, soon,” said IProud ’neath heated browAh, but I was so much older thenI’m younger...

On today's installment of Dart Against Humanity, I first recount my harrowing experience with Twitter trolls after tweeting about searching for Black Panther on Netflix, my reaction to the first part of BET's "The Bobby Brown Story", more frustrated Black Bostonian talk, thenI explore the whole Eminem debate raging after he released a surprise album and the subsequent backlash and my take on a subject I don't even care much about. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Here is my 5th podcast, some kind of behind the scene show about the 5th song on my new album. Below you can find the lyrics, who played what.People who played on the track:Pétur Ben: Box ArrangementsB.O.X. (Baroque Orchestration X):Liam Byrne: Viola da Gamba, LyronePieter Vandeveire: Viola da Gamba, Soprano gambaBorgar Magnason: Double BassJon Birdsong: Cornetto, TrumpetLambert Colson: CornettoBart Vroomen: Baroque TromboneJutta Troch: Baroque HarpMattijs Vanderleen: Drums, PercussionPieter Theuns: Theorbo & BOX LeaderMagnús Tryggvason Eliassen: Drums & PercussionArnar Gíslason: DrumsDavíð Þór Jónsson: Hammond, Rhodes & HarpsichordÞorleifur Gaukur Davíðsson: HarmonicaÞórbjörn Sigurðsson: PianoGuðni Finnsson: BassÓmar Guðjónsson: Guitar & BassMugison: Singing & GuitarHangoverMy eyes are bloodshotI'm dizzy and paranoidHaven't slept a lotFor days: it was search and destroyI'm haunted, somehowI don't know whyStuck in the here and nowI'm on standbyVeins are pumping boom shakashaking like a Harlem queenDevil´s singing: “Boy gotchahooked on adrenaline”Burning at both endssuch a thrill, distressIt´' time to pretendWhat the hell - a mess.I'll never drink again!Not a single drop, but thenI get pulled in by the moon-but I don't want to!I´ll never drink again!Not a single drop, but thenI get restless, and as soonI get that call-I'm on it...Somethin' ain't right,A voice saying “no no no”Another whispers, “it's allrightjust let it all go”...My belly is like a boomboxRattling: hullabalooMy thought are in a state of fluxThe stupid things I doI'll never drink again!Not a single drop, but then… some more music on itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/mugison/id80591845bandcamp: https://mugison.bandcamp.com/spotify : https://play.spotify.com/artist/0tcAr5iQkX49C7AjuhAtC2?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=opensoundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/mugison

We’ve finished 3 killer episodes on Reverse Mortgage (or HECM’s). My plan was to expose them for the evil they are, but I was derailed by both  new  Federal regulations that protects consumers, and  education by Ron Heath. I highly recommend that you listen to these 3 episodes as many times as it takes  to absorb the financial concepts, and how they could impact your financial security….not necessarily NOW, but perhaps in 20 years…maybe 30 years. Acting now, that is sooner, rather than later, as a last resort, is in your favor. Listen especially if you are planning to pay cash. This episode is buying a home with a traditional mortgage. You pay for the next 30 years, or less. This also expects that you have done the critical thinking of:  #1- Do I want to buy a home right away in my dream location without living there first and renting? # 2-Do I want to follow my children and grandchildren? # 3 - Do I want to leave an inheritance of a paid for home for my children? The two critical timing points that you must meet for a closing without running into document purgatory or qualifying for less home than you planned. Should you have a Fixed 30 year amortization, or less… 15,20, 25? Should you pay closing costs? Who should you choose to do your home financing? Our downsizing experience. Resources: Living to 100.  Have an idea of your life expectancy as you are planning. Also especially good for Social Security planning. Music for moving local, national, or planetary. Jefferson Starship - Blows Against the Empire - “Have you seen the stars tonight -> Starship At firstI was iridescent,thenI became transparent,finallyI was essence . . .   Thanks for sharing Planet BoomerVille with your friends and FaceBook pals. Planet BoomerVille is for Baby Boomers and is about being Stellar and Living Life Lively. That means Baby Boomer brain and physical health. Baby Boomer family relationships, love, sex, and romance. Making new friends. Appreciating old friends. Lot's of music, new and old. It is about new life beginning and adventures. Planet BoomerVille is about embracing the future and making your now as big as your past. Maybe bigger and even better. Why not? Why not you?

英文儿童童话 三只小猪的故事 第1章Once upon a time there was a mother Sow who livedin an old barn with her three little Pigs. When the little pigs were old enoughto be on their own, she sent them out to seek their fortune.The first little pig that wentoff met a Man with a bundle of straw, and said to him, “Please, Man,sell me that straw to build me a house”; which the Man did, and the littlePig quickly built a house with the cheap straw.Presently came along a Wolf, andknocked at the door, and said, “Little Pig, little Pig, let me come in.”To which the Pig answered, “No,not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”“ThenI'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!” said the Wolf. So hehuffed and he puffed, and he blew his house in. The first little Pig barelyescaped the hungry wolf, and ran as fast as he could back to the safety of theold barn and his mother Sow.

英文儿童童话 三只小猪的故事 第1章Once upon a time there was a mother Sow who livedin an old barn with her three little Pigs. When the little pigs were old enoughto be on their own, she sent them out to seek their fortune.The first little pig that wentoff met a Man with a bundle of straw, and said to him, “Please, Man,sell me that straw to build me a house”; which the Man did, and the littlePig quickly built a house with the cheap straw.Presently came along a Wolf, andknocked at the door, and said, “Little Pig, little Pig, let me come in.”To which the Pig answered, “No,not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”“ThenI'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!” said the Wolf. So hehuffed and he puffed, and he blew his house in. The first little Pig barelyescaped the hungry wolf, and ran as fast as he could back to the safety of theold barn and his mother Sow.

Well hello action junkies, explosion lovers, fist fight adorers and pilgrims to the sacred land we call the 80s and 90s. We, as the Austrain Oak is often heard to promise, are BACK BABY! and we have an absolutely EPIC show for you.We have EXCLUSIVE, not heard ANYWHERE ELSE, Pam Grier related FEMALE EXPENDABLES news for all of you!We have The Kick Ass Kid's story of having his Beard manhandled by Ms.Grier herself! True!We have rundowns on action films like Killer Elite, Dredd, Welcome to The Punch, Fighting Mad and others!We have VOICEMAILS!We have a ridiculous amount of dick jokesWe have BIRTHDAY news and We have a commentary for Jean-Claude Van Damme's The Quest starring none-other-than Sir Roger of the Moore.Sorry we have been away but if this isn't a return to the epic heights of greatness thenI don't know what is.Please, check it out!Because if you're watching action without us then you're doing it wrong! Follow us on twitter: @DrActionKickAss and Like our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/DrActionAndTheKickAssKid Shop our store: http://www.cafepress.com/aftermoviediner/8680529 This podcast is a proud member of THE 2ND UNIT PODCAST NETWORK! http://2upn.blogspot.com