Getting Real About Sex Addiction

In this episode, author and psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels further discusses the aftermath of the trial of AB1775 at the California Superior Court in August, including its anti-climactic judgement. Commentary explores the curious presence of guilt--of a subject of treatment, that of its providers, of an adjudicating state--amidst this battle over privacy rights.

Get comfortable, because soon you won't be. Psychoanalyst and author Graeme Daniels, fresh from his front seat at the trial of child abuse reporting law AB1775, reports and comments upon the testimonies given, the cross examinations leveled, and the judgements made in the August 2025 trial that had been on hold for 6 six years, based upon a law about viewing child sexual abuse material (CSAM) that is now 10 years old. And the ending is shocking. 

Graeme Daniels, psychoanalyst and author, presents the first of a two-part commentary about psychotherapy and privacy, pitting the needs of significant others, family, the community--even the state--against the needs for individuals to seek psychotherapeutic treatment with optimal confidentiality. The contexts are sexual infidelity and child abuse reporting law.

In this episode, psychoanalyst and author Graeme Daniels chats with Dr. Davide, " the empathy coach" about infidelity and sex addiction treatment, exploring the "2 Es model of emphasis and empathy", and challenging the premises of the "right to know" ethos of many providers in this field

Author and psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels introduces his book, An Analyst in Training, published by Bloomsbury, in conversation with Portuguese psychologist Pedro Job. The compare training experiences in Portugal versus the United States, and discuss what motivates mid-career professionals to become psychoanalysts

Psychoanalyst and author Graeme Daniels discusses Freud's concepts of infantile sexuality, slips, group psychology, plus latter-day analytic theories of a social unconscious within the context of today's quickly moving, disposable, and replaceable headlines

Psychoanalyst and author Graeme Daniels speaks about the writings of Avgi Saketopoulou, commenting on her concepts of psychic overwhelm, transgressive play, affirmative and limit consent, in the context of sadomasochistic rituals, with an eye towards how such phenomena emerge in psychoanalytic treatment

In this episode, psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels talks about masochism, surrender and submission, weaving in theories of Freud, Klein, and Winnicott with reflections upon addiction, BDSM, repetition compulsion, even rape--all relating to a paper by Emmanuel Ghent from the nineties, plus the fifty year anniversary of a famous shark film

Psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels begins his newly re-configured podcast series with a review of a paper by Israeli psychiatrist/analyst Amit Saad: a paper about time arrows, the timelessness of the unconscious, causal loops, the Oedipal myth and Oedipal development, and what Saad describes as the "sexualizing of asymmetric time"

Psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Bloomsbury/Rowman & Littlefield publication, discusses the fraught cottage industry of personality disorder and addiction treatment training, lambasting in particular certificate programs that are reductive of complex phenomena

Psychoanalyst Graeme Daniels, lead author of the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction (published by Rowman & Littlefield), excoriates the California Superior Court, which has once again delayed its trial of AB 1775, a 2015 law that amended now forty five year old child abuse laws to oblige psychotherapists to violate the confidentiality of patients who report viewing sexual material that depicts minors. Daniels paraphrases the case brief from the case plaintiffs that lays out the reasons this law should be ruled unconstitutional and overturned. The state is procrastinating!Wedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Rowman & Littlefield/Bloomsbury publication, talks psychoanalysis, masculine ego, psychosis and addiction, with Portuguese psychologist Pedro Job, relating these subjects to the film and play, Dr. Strangelove. 

In this follow-up to his discussion with AB1775 plaintiff Don Mathews, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Rowman & Littlefield publication, speaks of laws that inhibit proper use of mental treatment, the implications for mandated treatment episodes, plus the problem of people being deterred from proper treatment altogether.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, interviews Don Mathews, plaintiff in the forthcoming case against the state of California and a 2015 law originally named Assembly Bill 1775. This case, a decade in the making, is about privacy rights and psychotherapy versus the state's efforts to police child pornography

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reads an email from a disgruntled impacted partner about responses to Esther Perel's State of Affairs. From this, Daniels discusses the problem of integrating perspectives amid a treatment culture that fosters taking sides. 

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses factions within the fields of sex addiction/infidelity treatment: the factions that purport to represent acting out or addicted individuals or their impacted partners. A typical scenario explored from two sides illustrates ideological biases and tacit rules.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the problem of being a neurotic--not controlling how you feel--which underlies many addictions, which is about not controlling behavior. He also discusses in the spirit of the season the celebrated loners of yuletide literature, and cautions that guilt as an intervention works much more in Hollywood than it does anywhere else

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, talks about the vagaries of sex addiction or infidelity treatment--its flawed premises and biases--particularly with respect to treatment efficacy, and offers an anecdotal vignette as to how a psychoanalytic treatment  might explore the mind of an addict in treatment. 

part two of Graeme Daniels' excoriation of contrived labeling in the field of sex addiction treatment.Mr. Pick Me & The ManhaterHosted by Chesko (Mr. Pick Me) and Regan (The Manhater). Join us as we laugh (so as...Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the language of mental health disorders, distinguishing for the listener categories that are prominent in social media but not standardized conditions as determined by the American Psychiatric Association or the World Health Organization, or peer-reviewed in professional literature.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reads part two of his analytic paper, "Born Small, Addicted to Guilt", presenting the case of Mr. D, illustrating the concept of repetition compulsion as it relates to self-punishing/pleasure-seeking behaviors of addiction, plus the displacement of guilt via patient/addict and--equally importantly--treatment provider-induced displacements of shame onto overwrought expressions of guilt.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, offers a preview of his academic paper, "Born Small, Addicted to Guilt", about psychoanalytic treatment of addiction, ahead of his public presentation at the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of the book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, continues a discussion of the unconscious, venturing into a famous dream of a patient of Sigmund Freud's, dubbed "Wolf Man". The interpretation of his famous dream reveals (and represses) elements of aggression, fears of death, of castration anxiety relating to Oedipal wishes and a memory of a "primal scene". 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the implications, the subtext, and the truer meanings within the increasingly popular sex positive therapy movement.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, talks in historical and Freudian terms about the unconscious as a centerpiece of a psychoanalytic approach to the treatment of somatic symptoms, inhibition, guilt, and loss. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reflects upon the recent guest appearance of Michelle Langley on the podcast, and considers further her opinions about female sexuality and the myths that society attaches both to women's infidelity and domestic violence.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes guest Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What women really mean when they say "I'm not happy", to discuss myths that men and society have about women's sexuality, and debunk the idea that women are less inclined towards infidelity than men

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the World Health Organization's category of compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD), focusing upon its ambiguous and complicated "marked distress" criteria for diagnosis

A mouthful of jargon? No, argues Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction. This episode presents common scenarios culled from dialogues between so-called sex addicts and their impacted or betrayed partners, and asks, what does it mean to be empathetic? to "validate" ? how does a feeling denied get communicated to another?There Are No Gays In MontanaComing out can be hard, especially in rural America. There Are No Gays In Montana is...Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the emotional impact of problem sexual behaviors, both for PSBs and their impacted partners, and features a case illustration of a group discussing whether to reveal porn use to an impacted partner

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, riffs on numerous ideas previously addressed in this podcast series: where analytic perspectives on addiction fit in with the sex addiction field; the ethical/moral biases of practitioners, and how those biases play out among gender divides

Opening podcast of season, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, outlines topics that will be addressed on upcoming podcasts, including the re-framing of "the problem"; he then discusses a positive review of his and Joe Farley's book by Kirkus magazine, examining reviewers' comments in detail. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and lead-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the pros and cons of the sex addiction label from the point of view of the would-be addict and the impact partner, and then speaks of the intertwining of guilt and shame, in which false guilt, as perpetuated by sex addiction treatment models, often obscure attention to underlying shame

Part two of this discussion, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, offers some case illustrative descriptions culled from his work with female sex addicts/problem sexual behaviors--compares/contrasts with profiles exhibited by male patients--again referencing the writing of Michelle Langley

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses female sex addiction and women's infidelity, profiling the provocative insights of Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo, and highlighting that book's compatibility with psychoanalytic theory

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits the chestnut meta debate that exists between proponents of short term treatment options versus those, like Graeme, who advocate for a longer term commitment to in-depth treatment--as "triggered", by marketing tactics used by treatment programs.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Eddie Capparucci as a guest to the podcast to discuss sex addiction and/or sexual compulsivity, plus the matter of how psychotherapy imparts, facilitates exploration of sexual mores, or imposes a society's values upon those who seek mental health treatment.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, riffs on ideas of instinct, personality development, Freudian theory, the rigidity of defenses, and relates these ideas to what happens when people seek help for their problems yet impulses still emerge

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, invites therapist and sex addiction expert Don Mathews back to the podcast to discuss a controversial, now nine year old California law about reporting use of underage porn that has moved through supreme and appellate courts and is now about to get its due in an LA superior courtroom. Don is an expert witness in the trial. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Andrew Suuskind as a guest to discuss sexual compulsivity, the pathologizing of sex, psychodynamic underpinnings to problem sexual behavior, plus the fostering of emotional resilience and the embracing of imperfection.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses again the psychic defense of splitting in the context of one famously understood "split", Freud's Madonna Whore complex, and a lesser known female-to-male splitting analogy, the Saint-Brute.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, improvises a version of his recent webinar for the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), about all things to do with psychoanalysis and sex addiction

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the presence, the pedigree, the value (or not) of the phrase "actions speak louder than words" in modern culture, and what psychoanalysis, the business world, and the law, have to say, in actions and words, about this principle.A Queen's Opinion PodcastA Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think aloud.Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses addiction from a psychoanalytic and 12-step perspective, speaking of the importance of consciousness as a precursor to honesty; the problem that addicts often don't know what they're feeling because their defenses are so embedded.A Queen's Opinion PodcastA Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think aloud.Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

In this episode, Graeme Daniels draws from a vignette from the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction, to discuss the relative merits of individual therapy or psychoanalysis versus couples therapy in the context of sex addiction or infidelity recovery treatment.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes to the podcast two first time guests, therapists Jen Shelby and John Kravitz, to discuss their affiliation, work with sex addicts and impacted partners of sex addiction. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews Terrence Real's 2022 book, "US", observing its relational life therapy model, which utilizes ideas grounded in psychoanalytic theory as well as modern neurobiology. Daniels further comments upon the book's application to couples therapy.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews the book The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes, M.D., and focuses upon its thesis: that "true" addictions have a psychological underpinning that entails unconscious defenses against infantile states of rage and helplessness

The pros and cons of working in a team: Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the history/trend of treating addictions with a so-called team approach, highlighting the reasons that collaborative models are popular and worthwhile, exposing what is problematic pertaining to patient-clinician confidentiality

In this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, tell anecdotes about feeling exposed, shameful, under pressure, yet working through tough moments with a sense of dignity and resilience. The questions are: how do people cope with their most primitive insecurities? Who are we in such moments, and what can we summon from inside, our reptilian brains or our higher selves?

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits intersectional issues, socio-political undercurrents that influence/infiltrate the therapeutic space of sex addiction treatment, and then applies these ideas to the case of an impacted partner previously spoken of in this series and profiled more comprehensively in the book.