Whole Self Podcast

What is healthy submission and boundaries in marriage, and when can submission cross the line into control? As a group practice of therapists, we too often see biblical submission used in an unhealthy way. In this episode, licensed, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss the cultural context and biblical understanding of love and submission, how influences in our current culture, like purity culture and our experiences in childhood, impact how we relate to our spouses and operate in our marriages, and what both his and her jobs are in a healthy marriage. Links: Tim Mackie Sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBuDX8ds5ME Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions: https://amzn.to/3SQWZDu Jay Stringer, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing: https://amzn.to/4dtFbXs Richard Schwartz, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships: https://amzn.to/3M6weXI (Please note, as an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases)

A re-release of an old episode! In 2022, we did a series called "Know Thy Trauma." Throughout multiple episodes, we discussed trauma and its components: generational trauma, attachment styles, triggers, and so much more. This summer, we're revamping our most popular episodes of that series! To start us off, we have part 1 of 5 types of narcissists. In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss narcissism and 2 out of the 5 types we commonly see. Vulnerable and covert narcissists can be difficult to spot due to coming off as "givers", and Sharon and Cait dive into detail about what makes them narcissistic. Subscribe and leave a 5-star review, and follow us on Instagram and Facebook @wholeselftherapists!

Professional counselors Sharon and Kayla are joined by guest Matt Owen, a counselor at the Moore Resilient Group, to discuss the messaging Western culture sends men and what boxes men can be put in as a result. They talk about gender roles, what men are taught about friendships and romantic relationships from a young age, how men are shown to handle emotions, and more. Lastly, they discuss what effect these things can have on men's mental health and relationships, and what men can do to challenge or work through these narratives.

Low sexual desire in married women is a topic we encounter a lot in our counseling office, and is more nuanced than you think. Licensed, professional counselors Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader discuss the factors that contribute to lower sex drive, like gender roles, purity culture, unequal labor divisions in the home, pornography, and more. This episode is a follow up to our episodes on The Mental Load of Women, Weaponized Incompetence, and Boundary Conversations with Your Partner. Link to the study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8382213/ The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregiore: https://amzn.to/3Vuub5V Jimmy On Relationships on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships This post may contain affiliate links so we may receive compensation if you purchase products linked to below. As an Amazon Associate, we can earn from qualifying purchases.

Have you seen tons of posts on social media about narcissists, or people breaking off relationships with "toxic" people? In this episode, Sharon and Mandy break down concepts that have been popularized by pop psychology, like narcissism, gaslighting, abuse, trauma, and more to help bring clarity to what is true about these topics and what is not. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook @wholeselftherapists!

Pop psychology can encompass any psychological concept, diagnosis, theory, etc, that has been popularized in mainstream media. You might have seen some of the following terms on social media: narcissism, toxicity, gaslighting, triggers, codependency, abuse, or more. In part one, Sharon Wegman (MA, NCP, LPC) and Mandy talk about the rise of pop psychology, why it's so appealing, it's validity, and how to discern if what you're consuming online is quality information. You can visit our website, wellspringssolutions.com, and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Whole Self Therapists.

Chronic illness impacts not only our physical health, but our mental health as well. The lifestyle changes, dietary changes, relational changes, and more can lead to feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety. Individuals can also go through traumatic experiences amidst those changes and during the process of diagnosis and treatment, which can lead to PTSD. In this podcast episode, licensed, professional counselor Sharon Wegman talks with Mandy, who was diagnosed with a chronic illness of the GI tract in 2019. They discuss the eastern vs. western mindsets when it comes to long term suffering and the different ways gut health and illness impact the brain. They also discuss how individuals can improve their mental health while dealing with chronic illness, and tips for how others can care for and support those experiencing long term suffering. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Trauma counselor Cait Beiler and former teacher Mandy discuss the nature of teaching and how it can impact teachers. They talk about vicarious trauma, burnout, and personalizing student behavior. They give practical feedback on what teachers can do when they encounter those things, and how teachers can manage their mental health.

In this episode, former teacher Mandy Kaucher and trauma therapist Cait Beiler sit down to discuss student behavior. They identify four main types of student behavior (the disengaged student, the outburst student, the defiant student, and the perfectionist), and talk about what how those might show up in your classroom and what you can do about them. Follow us on instagram @wholeselftherapists

In the follow up to parts 1 and 2 about the mental load and weaponized incompetence, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss ways to go about talking to your spouse or partner about those topics. There are tips for having a successful conversation, examples of different types of boundaries, and more! Links: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/43HAEed Set Boundaries Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/472xWCR

In this episode, professional counselor Sharon Wegman is joined by former-teacher-turned-office-admin Mandy Kaucher to discuss how teachers can set boundaries, and the benefits of doing so. They discuss boundaries with administration, parents, students, and self, as well as things teachers can do to help stave off burnout and improve their mental health.

In a follow up to our episode on the mental load, licensed, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss weaponized incompetence, and how that can be used in defense against sharing the mental load in a relationship. Weaponized incompetence occurs when someone attempts to not learn tasks, does them badly, or invalidates them to try and get out of doing them (whether intentionally or subconsciously). Like in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray purposefully changes diapers badly so Deborah doesn't ask him to do it again. For additional info, check out our blog post here, or follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss the mental load of women and how it can impact not only the person, but the relationship they're in. They talk about ways to start the discussion with your partner about the mental load to reach a place where things feel more balanced in the relationship.

In this episode, Sharon and office administrator Mandy discuss strategies for dealing with emotionally unhealthy parents as a follow up to part one. They also chat about new changes coming to their office that you can hear at the end of the episode! After this episode, we will be taking a hiatus from our podcast to focus on those changes, so make sure to follow us wherever you stream your podcast, and on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Check out our website, wellspringssolutions.com, for more announcements and updates on our classes, groups, and programs.

An emotionally unhealthy parent is one who has never worked through their own past or childhood wounds, so they cannot handle hard emotions or feelings. They will often justify not having done so, and show a pattern of unhealthy behaviors and communication. In this episode, therapists Sharon and Cait describe the traits of emotionally unhealthy parents, and give examples of what you might see or hear if you bring a tough emotion or situation to them. Find and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. For more information, check out the book at the link below! (Affiliate Disclaimer: This is an affiliate link. If you choose to purchase through it, it does not change the price in anyway, but we get a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases). https://amzn.to/3RR4SX0

Professional counselors Cait and Kayla discuss what to do (and what not to do) to communicate effectively in safe relationships. They go through the tips in the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love by Rachel Heller, Amir Levine and explain each step in depth and with examples. If you've ever found yourself wondering how to effectively communicate your needs, or how to ensure you're hearing your partner and they're hearing you, or what's really happening when one partner blames the other for not making dinner, this episode is for you! Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Attached Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Anxious-Avoidant-science-attachment/dp/1529032172/ref=asc_df_1529032172/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=77281545773&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154 Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/The-Power-of-Vulnerability-audiobook/dp/B00D1Z9RFU/ref=sr_1_4?crid=RN1O0RP08Y9X&keywords=brene+brown+vulnerability&qid=1662055081&s=books&sprefix=brene+brown+vul%2Cstripbooks%2C85&sr=1-4

In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon build off the previous episode about what kids are feeling when it comes times to go back to school. They discuss what anxiety is, how kids experience it, and how important it is for parents to be able to attune to their children's feelings to help them work through whatever they are experiencing. They give examples of how to attune, and then strategies for parents to help their kids work through their anxiety and prepare for the transition back to school. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss why children might start acting differently when August hits. They explain why kids might start feeling more anxious, and what anxiety looks like in kids who don't have the language or awareness to explain or name what they're feeling. Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists!

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss how our adult views and decisions surrounding money were formed and influenced. While it is a topic sometimes seen as taboo or not something everyone wants to discuss, it's helpful to dig into our feelings and reactions around money- it can tell us a lot about ourselves and our beliefs. Find us on instagram @wholeselftherapists!

In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Cait discuss how our relationship with food was influenced and how we might've formed our beliefs about it. They discuss the different variables, how to avoid passing unhealthy beliefs to our children, and how to break unhealthy beliefs tied to food. If you are in the state of Pennsylvania and are interested in scheduling with our counselor, Joanna Faljean, visit our website at wellspringssolutions.com. Like, subscribe, and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, Sharon and Cait follow up on the last episode about how parenting is triggering. They discuss what can trigger parents or caretakers in each age group of newborns/babies, 0-5, and up, and how we can cope when we are triggered. The book mentioned in today's episode can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=asc_df_0553386697/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=60258870697&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135

In this bonus episode, Sharon Wegman interviews Ann Bruno, M. Ed., CARC, about her specialty of addictions treatment, and how outside-of-the-box thinking can aid professionals in their recovery. If you are interested in Ann Bruno's program, The Sober Academy, you can get in touch with her through her email: brunoann1@msn.com or call/text: 520-370-9020.

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the big emotions we can feel while parenting. They explore the following questions and more: Why can we feel so riled up from our kids? Why can we feel like our bodies are on edge? Why do we want to shut down when our child behaves a certain way? Or have the sudden urge to yell? In the next episode, they explore how parents can cope with feeling triggered in each stage of their child's life.

Do you feel spent after a day at work? Do you find yourself unable to sleep at night, or feeling anxious or sick to your stomach at the thought of going to work? In this final episode in our trauma series, Cait and Sharon discuss workplace trauma. Workplace trauma has always been around, especially in jobs that deal hands-on with trauma (first responders, healthcare workers, etc), but since the start of the pandemic, we have seen more and more jobs become harder and often more traumatic for workers. Listen in to discover how we can develop workplace trauma, how it plays out in our day-to-day lives, and how to cope with it. Visit our website, wellspringssolutions.com, and find Work Well: Transforming Toxic Environments & Creating Healthy Corporate Culture here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1733992804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B9668PETHSVKTN1N0K31

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss medical trauma. They describe what it looks like, how it occurs, give examples of different types of medical traumas, and detail strategies for coping with it. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

A question we often hear is, "when will I be better?" or, "how long will it take until I don't feel like this anymore?" In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon discusses the timeline for healing. They explain the therapeutic process, the 3 things that make healing "go faster", what to do if you're unsure if your therapist is a good fit, and more. Follow us Instagram @thewholeselftherapists

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss spiritual trauma. They detail what it is and what it can look like, the results it can have on a person, and how important it is to heal our spirits and relationship with spirituality when working toward general healing of the body and mind. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Leaving a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely difficult, especially given the way they cycle through love-bombing, devaluing/abuse, rejection, and then trying to suck you back into the relationship. In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon discuss what a good constitutes a good apology, how to set boundaries with a narcissist, how to know if you should leave the relationship, and how to go about creating an exit plan to do so safely. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the remaining two types of narcissists- classic and malignant. The classic narcissist is the typical archetype of a person who is an exhibitionist with an inflated sense of self, while the malignant narcissist is a very manipulative and exploitive person who frequently hurts others for pleasure. Get your free "5 Types of Narcissists" download here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/ and for more information, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss 5 types of narcissists they typically deal with. They define the term narcissist, and in this first part of a two part episode, they discuss the most confusing types of narcissists- Vulnerable and Covert. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists Free 5 Types of Narcissists download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss coping mechanisms, and the three underlying emotions that usually drive us to employ a defense mechanism. They detail the six ways we tend to respond to these emotions, and why it is important to recognize so we can work to identify the unhealthy defense mechanism and replace it with a healthy coping mechanism. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists Free Coping Mechanism download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/ 

In this episode, counselors Kayla and Sharon discuss the “inner child”, using simple analogies, stories, and real life examples to aid listeners in understanding this concept.They define the term, note why it is important to understand our inner children, how it impacts us in adulthood, and how to begin healing the inner child. Knowing and recognizing our inner child can help us identify why we react to things the way we do, and start to relearn new and healthy behaviors in response to triggering words or events. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists Resources:  Blog: https://insighttimer.com/blog/inner-child-meaning-noticing-healing-freeing/ Podcast: The Inner Child Podcast Books : Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD, Healing the Wounded Child Within: Heal Your Wounds, Change Your Life by Ricky Roberts III

An agreement is a truth that is decided or agreed. They can be made as the result of some kind of traumatic event, statements or labels from relationships, roles in our childhood homes, or hurts and pains we've experienced. These experiences sent some kind of message to ourselves that we then agreed to, and now live our life as if it is truth. When we live our lives as if these agreements were truths, we find that they are binding and limiting as they play out into adulthood. Listen to Kayla and Sharon discuss examples of agreements, how they are formed, why it's important to understand them, and how to name and break them. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

It's important to know your trauma and story so you can know what triggers you. When you're able to identify your triggers, you can begin to repave your neural pathways so you can respond differently to what might trigger you in the present. For more information on what triggers are, how to identify them, how they might make you respond, somatic exercises to help you out of a trigger response, and more- listen to Cait and Sharon in our 4th episode of our trauma series. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Knowing our attachment styles lends us insight into how we view ourselves, relate to other people, and can help us understand our trauma . In this podcast episode, counselors Sharon, Cait and Kayla discuss the importance of knowing your attachment style. They look at the five "A's" needed in childhood - affection, affirmation, attunement, affect regulation, and attention, how they relate to the five love languages, and describe the different styles of attachment. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

The influence of parents is pivotal in child development in cognitive skills, behaviors, social skills, coping skills, and general security.  Therefore it is essential to understand our parent's story and their trauma to gain a greater understanding of ourselves.  How did their own traumatic experiences influence how they parented us?  How did they model coping skills to us?  As we seek a greater understanding of our functioning in life, it is crucial to trace the roots of the previous generations so that we come to understand some of our beliefs resulting from our parent's traumatic experiences.  For example, was one of your parents abused, and how does that impact how they under or over-protected us?  Did your parents experience a significant loss that they were never allowed to process?  Was your parent able to handle your losses as a child in a nurturing way, or were you forced to take care of their feelings? Although understanding the traumas of our parents is essential in unraveling our own unhealthy beliefs and coping skills, it does not negate their responsibility to pursue healing for themselves.  Our role is not to devalue our pain because of our parent's pain, but we can more effectively heal when we understand them and, in turn, understand how to create a healthy foundation based on truth and not our parent's trauma. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

This episode is our introductory recording in our new series, “Know Thy Trauma.” Sharon Wegman, Cait Beiler, and Kalya Seader explain why each person needs to understand their personal trauma history and how it affects our body, mind, emotions, and relationships.   Unknown trauma can evidence itself in depression, anxiety, physical ailments, our ability to focus, our relationships, and a plethora of other symptoms. People fail to understand that the events from their childhood during the critical bonding stage affect them even if they have little memory. Additionally, beliefs formed years in childhood are also part of the foundation from which trauma operates in the person. When an event has occurred, the brain changes to accommodate the sheer amount of loss or transition the body has had to make for the events.  Our trauma events get stored like a disorganized filing cabinet that needs to be reorganized understandably, and therapy helps the brain and body again create the order it requires to function healthily. For more more information, visit wellspringssolutions.com or follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

At our practice, we see a lot of teenagers and a lot of parents of teenagers. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman talk about the teen brain and why it is essential to understand what is happening during these developmental years. As therapists, we believe when you can receive knowledge about something, that can bring empowerment. Learning about the brain is so essential! In this podcast, we address why teenagers need stimulation all the time, how to communicate with your teen and some things the teenage brain needs to feel safe. Our brains always take in new information, but they are genuinely not done growing until about 24 years old. That means your teenager is stuck in the middle of the brain still being a kid, but almost being an adult (aka.. it's a mess)! We hope this podcast leaves you feeling more equipped with tools to communicate and create safety for your teenager that serves both of you.

For a lot of people, the holidays can be a triggering time of year for a variety of reasons. While you may have been practicing how to manage these triggers, one new aspect has been thrown in the mix - COVID. In this episode, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader explore triggers such as rejection, fear of missing out, and having to say no, and setting firm boundaries. Sharon and Kayla then go on to explore areas that boundaries may need to be set, how to go about setting and respecting boundaries, and alternatives to still experience aspects of joy in this season.  --

Have you ever thought to yourself, “What is mindfulness?  What does that mean?”  Mindfulness is the process of doing specific exercises to transform how your brain engages with the rest of the world.  We often find that we have an automatic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to something that triggers a feeling similar to trauma events from our past.  For example, perhaps we were abandoned by our parents in some way in our childhood, and in turn, when someone behaves in a way that makes us feel the same emotion, we automatically respond in the same manner.  Our emotional brain responds to the trigger as if it is the same wound of our past.   Mindful practices change the emotional brain that reacts to the feeling, while the wise brain chooses to respond differently.   In this podcast, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader discuss mindfulness, what mindful practices look like in action, and how to transform how your brain reacts or performs.

Relationships and the associated conflict of relationships can have behavioral reactions that have nothing to do with the person with whom we have strife.  Many of us learned trauma coping skills at a very early age.  If attachment patterns form during 0-3 years and our world view forms during 0-12 years, then much of how we interpret our world occurs before we have adult relationships. HOWEVER, we can heal our brain patterns as we discover the truth and start thinking about our formative memories differently.  Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss common trauma coping responses that people have in relationships based on their past in this episode.  You don't have to keep repeating cycles in your relationships if you choose to do the work of understanding your personal story.

Shame is the most significant behind the scenes motivator of a lot of the counseling topics that come through our office. It is the enemy of your being. It drives addictions, self-image problems, marriage struggles, depression, anxiety, etc. Whatever problem you name, there is an element of shame that may not have caused the root of the problem, but now exists.

In 1944 there was a famous movie released by the name “Gaslight.”  The film is the story of a man who marries a woman after a whirlwind relationship to manipulate her for financial gain.  Throughout the movie, the husband proceeds to do a variety of deceptive things to convince his wife that she is insane to gain control over her and her wealth.  The movie's theme slowly created the term gaslighting, to describe a type of manipulative behavior that a person uses to try to deceive another out of truth.  Examples of gaslighting actions might include;  Blatant lying, frequent use of denial, projecting, manipulation of things dear to you, flattery, and a plethora of other manipulation tactics.  The individual who is the victim of gaslighting will often find themselves confused sometimes to the point of developing extreme depression and anxiety.  In the following podcast, Sharon Wegman and Ina Gould describe gaslighting, its effects, and strategies to deal with gaslighting. Gaslighting 101

Self Harm is a growing trend amongst pre-teen and teens, and it is a topic that frequently comes up in the world of counseling. Parents, concerned friends, and even the person doing self-harm, often feel confused regarding the behavior. Self-harm touches all people groups, but it manifests itself in different expressions. Unfortunately, many people learn this behavior from their friends or from websites in which there is a pro-injury theme, and yet many parents feel ill-equipped to handle the discovery when they learn of their child's self-harm. Below are the statistics of self-harm from 2019 Each year, 1 in 7 seven males and 1-5 females engage in self-harm/injury.Ninety percent of the people who engage in self-harm begin in their teen or pre-teen years. The average of a teen to begin to self-harm is 13 years old.Close to 50 percent of the people who engage in self-harm have experienced abuse in some way.Sixty percent of those that self-harm is female. Self-half harm has become a normalized behavior amongst young adults and teens; however, it is a foreign concept to their parents and grandparents. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman explain how self-harm often starts and how it continues and experience healing. *2019 APA statistics

Co-dependency was a word that was coined by people working in the field of addictions to describe the behavior of members of an addict's family that enabled the addict to continue with addict choices.  However, in the world of counseling, we have taken over the term to describe the behaviors of individuals who carry things for others that are not their responsibility. This could look like several things.  Sometimes people can have an unhealthy need for people to make them feel better. For example, if someone struggles with anxiety, they might be dependent on another individual to make them feel peaceful. This relationship struggle can cause people to control others so they don't feel upset or it could cause people to become “people pleasers” to keep themselves or others from feeling off emotionally.  People tell me all the time that they feel like they have to carry the problems or tasks of others so that they don't feel anxious. The crux of all co-dependency is that I carry something for someone so that I don't have to feel _________(fill in the blank) or so that the other person doesn't have to feel __________(fill in the blank). However, what we all need to understand is that feeling uncomfortable feelings is part of our emotional growth to wholeness; for self and others.  Whether it is our children, friends, co-workers or other family members, if we don't feel the uncomfortable feelings of our choices, we are likely to not change. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss what codependency can look like in our everyday life.

The trend and comfort of going to counseling has only developed popularity within the past decade or so. This is a good thing, but as a therapist, I still encounter the negative views or “cliches” people see in counseling. As a culture, we are just now starting to come out of the perspective that going to counseling somehow means “you're crazy” or “there's something wrong with you.” In reality, we all go through hard things, and the point is we need support and safe places to process these experiences to stay healthy and receive healing. In this podcast, Sharon and I discuss the different reasons why someone might want to go to counseling and how counseling can aide and support that person in their process of healing. It is possible that as you have gotten older, you have become more increasingly aware of negative patterns you have picked up over time from your childhood. Going to counseling can help you unravel some of these patterns and find new ways to think and see things rather than being stuck in our childhood self. Another reason people might come to counseling is to find help and a safe space to process various types of trauma that have happened to them. Such trauma might include; multiple types of abuse, divorce, poverty, domestic violence, etc. Talking to a counselor can free up some of the weight and struggle you carry from these memories, as well as helping you find healthy ways to cope with your past. Lastly, you might find yourself needing to go to counseling because you have experienced the death of someone close to you. Grief counseling is a massive piece of working through a loss and the grief cycle in a very vulnerable time. All in all, counseling is helpful for any season of life, sometimes as people, we need someone to sit and process with us in a place that feels safe and gives us permission to explore and experience our emotions. A therapist is simply a person whose job is to support and help you work out your feelings and your needs. Therapists are not afraid of the ugly feelings, so you have permission in a counseling office to be your authentic self. A counseling office is a place concerning no judgments or expectations over us, and for most of us, that in itself can be a very healing process.

Anxiety rates are on the rise in the western world. In fact, in 2018 study on anxiety, it was determined that “1 in 5 five individuals deal with some form of anxiety and would be considered the highest prevalent form of mental illness in the United States”. Most people feel a lot of shame about not being able to control their anxiety or the fact that they have anxiety, however as research on this topic evolves we are coming to understand that changes in our culture have strong influences on the development of anxiety in our culture. For example, researchers have determined that 90% of the serotonin receptors are located in the gut. Therefore, the adage that “ you are what you eat” is quite right when it comes to an understanding some of the roots of anxiety in a modern culture which eats many genetically modified and processed foods. Additionally, many therapists would agree that the use of electronics increases social isolation and increases more self-comparison and negative perceptions of self and the world. In this podcast, Cait Beiler, MS and Sharon Wegman, MA, LPC, discuss causes of anxiety and strategies to deal with anxiety. Newman, Tim (2018, May 5) Anxiety in the West: Is it on the rise? Retrieved from URLNaidoo, Uma (2019, March 27) Gut feelings: How food affects your mood. Retrieved from URL

School summer vacation has an immense undercurrent to it these days.  Below the surface of the joy that the children feel about summer vacation from school, there exists a hint of angst when parents think about children being home in summer.  It is rare though when a parent openly shares their negative feelings of shame and guilt associated with children being home. There is less structure, less mom time, and less money available because food, entertainment, camp, and vacation expenses go up. Moms, in particular, feel more guilt and shame over not being able to be the fantastic mom portrayed in social media. Therefore, they find it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of connecting with their children and find summer to be a struggle. Two conflicting emotions are colliding! However, God desires to empower us in all the losses and negative feelings we experience during this season.  We love our children; however, we may need some assistance in processing our feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, and powerlessness that get stirred by the summer break. Join host Sharon Wegman and her guest host Jesukah Beachy (mom of four girls) as they discuss how to bring empowerment to the negative feelings tied to summer break.

It's common for people sitting across from me in the counseling office to talk about their inability to feel safe or connected to God.  Their walk with God seems very distant or is plagued with feels of guilt and shame. Some people are pretty clear that they want no part of God because of how God was presented to them by authority figures.  They are clear that God represents pain and they want no part of him because of the way he has been described to them. An essential piece of developing an excellent spiritual walk involves understanding how our childhood attachment issues with authority figures impact our current spiritual struggles.  In the attached podcast, Sharon Wegman and Cait Beiler discuss how childhood issues can affect our spiritual walk.

By Cait Beiler "Because sex isn't properly introduced to us as a gift from God, an act of worship, and a holy binding act that should be celebrated in the right context, we know sex as something as scandalous and devious and guilt-carrying to desire." - Moh Iso Yup, that's right you read the title correctly. This blog post and podcast is all about sex. If you are someone who instantly felt negative feelings surrounding this topic, this blog post and podcast are precisely for you. We currently live in a constant sexually stimulated culture. The problem is as a society we have done a collectively poor job of talking about sex in the ways it needs to be addressed. This taboo mentality we have over sex has especially affected Christian culture. Not talking about such an important topic promotes negative feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment around sexuality. Lack of knowledge and discussion around the subject of sex lead us into an empty, unfulfilling sex life. We believe that God made sex to be a gift, but somewhere along the line between shame around the topic and religious distortion, we have forgotten the beautiful gift that sex is. Sex was never meant to be about control or power, but rather a means to experience intimacy on a multifaceted level, and Holy Spirit filled. This intimacy is intended to be healthy and fulfilling for each partner in the relationship. Common myths need to be dispelled in the fantastical world of pornography and sex. Researchers and professionals around the world are beginning to report the detrimental effects that pornography has an over-sexualized society leads to for people. Make your sex life healthy again, start by talking to someone about it, and don't be afraid to reach out and ask for some help! In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss the aspects of unhealthy sexuality in the marriage and how to correct this for a better connection.

In the last months, I have been impressed with God's sunset shows.  I am not sure if it was that I was driving that direction at the time of the sunset or if it was because we had such a deary summer with lots of rain and clouds that I was aware of the sunsets, but none the less, I was mindful of the beauty.  The artist in me wanted to chase the photography shot, but with each turn to try and capture the beauty, I found myself losing the vision as the sun was setting. I was chasing sunsets only to discover that they could not be caught. I felt like God said to me, “ Stop chasing sunsets.  They are a gift for the moment, not for you to capture.” That started me thinking how sometimes in our effort to chase happiness, we miss the gifts of the day that are right under our noses. Are you aware of the sunset on your drive and are you grateful for the beauty? To maintain a positive outlook through whatever hard season you are going through, you are going to need to choose to recognize the beautiful moments in each day.  I encourage people to look for the beautiful moments in each day by journaling what they are grateful for, and yet I understand the pain of being heartsick when month after month, year after year nothing changed in my health or another situation. Those heartsick moments are the moments when we start to lose hope hence our power. Each of us has troubles, and God says to stay in the moment of each day as opposed to worrying about the next day.   The Message translation of the Bible says it well;  Matthew 6:34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."  Pay attention to the sunset, the baby smiling at you, the gift sitting on your desk from a friend, the tree outside of your window or whatever catches your eye, because it's catching your eye because God is pointing it out to you for you to focus on to enable you to stay present at the moment.  My drives home from work in the dark of night are much more enjoyable this time of year because people are putting up Christmas lights that bring beauty to my night drives. The holidays are a stressful time of the year and many times we need to look for beauty to stay present in our day instead of worrying about the things that are yet to be done.  Let beauty drive your holidays, not stress and worry. In our new podcast, Sharon and Cait discuss emotional and spiritual strategies for Coping with The Holiday Blues in part two of our two-part series.