Podcast appearances and mentions of lisa i'm

Join the Marriage After God movement and grab a copy of our new book today. https://marriageaftergod.com In this episode, we interview Matt & Lisa Jacobson From http://FaithfulMan.com and http://Club31Women.com & Faithful Family podcast. Here is a quote from our book Marriage After God “Your marriage is the message you are preaching to others. The way you and your spouse interact with each other reveals the gospel you believe.” Dear Lord, Thank you for creating marriage with such a significant purpose of revealing to the world your divine love. Please help us to make choices that reflect your love in the way we love one another. May we choose to walk in obedience. Thank you for your word which instructs us and shows us how we should walk in obedience. Please continue to give us wisdom and strength as we choose to walk in the Spirit and not our flesh. We pray we would make our marriage a priority. We pray we would gain a deeper understanding of how our marriage is our first ministry and the impact we have in each other’s lives and in this world, just by remaining faithful to your word. If our priorities are ever out of order or if we are not unified please help us to change course. Constantly direct our hearts to align with yours. May our marriage always be in a place where you can use us as a symbol to point others to you and may you be glorified. In Jesus’ name, amen! READ: [Aaron] Hey, we're Aaron and Jennifer Smith of Marriage after God. [Lisa] Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage. [Aaron] And today we're in part five of the Marriage after God series, and we're gonna be talking with Matt and Lisa Jacobsen about marriage being your first ministry. [Aaron] Welcome to the Marriage after God podcast, where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after. [Jennifer] I'm Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife. [Aaron] And I'm Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution. [Jennifer] We have been married for over a decade. [Aaron] And so far, we have four young children. [Jennifer] We have been doing marriage ministry online for over seven years through blogging and social media. [Aaron] With the desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day. [Jennifer] We believe that Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one, full of life, [Aaron] Love. [Jennifer] And power [Aaron] That can only be found by chasing after God. [Jennifer] Together. [Aaron] Thank you for joining us on this journey as we chase boldly after God's will for our life together. [Jennifer] This is marriage after God. [Aaron] Hey, thanks for joining us on week five of this series that we're doing. I hope you're enjoying it. You're definitely going to enjoy today's guests. But before we move on, as always, we want to invite you to leave a review. Those reviews help the podcast get seen by new audiences. So, if you've been enjoying the content, we'd love a star rating, which is the easiest way to do it, all you gotta do is tap a star in the app. And if you really, really want to and have time, leaving us a text review would be awesome. We read every single one of 'em, and we love them, so thank you for that. [Jennifer] Another way you can support this podcast-- [Aaron] So today on this episode, we're gonna be talking about content from chapter five of our book, Marriage after God. And the chapter's titled, "Your First Ministry." and we thought, what better way to talk about this chapter than to talk with our pastors and ask them who inspired us and showed us what it looked like to recognize our marriage as ministry. And now we actually reference them and talk about them in this chapter, and so today we have Matt and Lisa Jacobson with us, welcome. [Lisa] Hey, nice to be here. [Matt] Awesome to be here, you bet. [Aaron] Yeah, and we're in our garage, sitting on our couches. And today we're gonna be talking about this topic. But before we talk about that, why don't you introduce to the audience, just in case they don't know you guys, who you are, children, marriage, all that. [Matt] Okay, well, Matt Jacobsen, and this is my lovely woman. [Lisa] Hey, hello. [Matt] Lisa, and so we've been married for 26 years. We have eight kids between the ages of 12 and about 25. [Lisa] Yup. [Matt] Right, and there are four of them are out of the house and moved on. And so, what keeps us busy when we're not just hanging out and kissing in a dark corner somewhere. [Lisa] That's right. We also, we do homeschool and we do a lot of work with our kids. Our kids help us out with what we do at home and also in our ministry. [Matt] And so, speaking of ministries. So, my website is Faithfulman.com. [Lisa] And I'm Lisa with Club31women.com. [Matt] And so that is a writing ministry that speaks to marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Biblical perspective on those things. And so, that comprises a lot of what takes up our time in a given week. And then, of course, we're the pastors of a small local fellowship as well. [Aaron] Yeah, it's our fellowship. [Matt] That's right. [Aaron] You're our pastors. And we love you guys. And by the way, if everyone listening didn't hear what those were, that's faithfulman.com and club31women.com. You guys should definitely check them out. And why don't you tell them about your newest podcast that you guys just launched? [Matt] Awesome, okay. Well, the name of that podcast is Faithful Life. And it's essentially a podcast that is pursuing the and exploring the topic of what does it mean to live as a biblical Christian. There are a lot of people in the world, lot of Christians, people who identify as Christians, who are living a life that is really separate or tangential to the Bible. And really, if you're going to be a biblical Christian, you've gotta know what the Bible says about these various aspects of life: marriage, parenting, how we're to live within church community and then how we're to interact with the culture. And so, that's the focus of the podcast, faithful-- [Lisa] With a lot of emphasis on practical ways to do that, sometimes we kinda know in our heads what the right thing to do is, or what we believe the Bible says, but then how does that look in our day-to-day life, and that's something that matt and I really have a passion for is just connecting those two things. [Matt] And a little bit of experience. It's only been, what, 26 years you've been married and walking with the Lord and learning through all of the eight children. [Aaron] So we just want everyone to check out their podcast; it's called Faithful Life. And you're gonna love it. Just search for it wherever you listen to podcasts. So, let's get into the icebreaker question. And this is how we start all the episodes. It's just a fun question. How does your spouse like their coffee and what does that say about them? [Lisa] Okay, I get to go first on this one. Because everybody that knows Matt Jacobson well knows that he likes his coffee black, but, even more importantly, he likes it burning hot so that it burns a hole in your tongue, so he, if-- [Matt] And you better not put it in a cold cup. [Lisa] Right, the best way to show love to Matt Jacobson is to heat up the cup first and then pour his coffee into it. [Matt] Wow, that's one of the ways over the years you've shown love to me. But right, so anyway-- [Lisa] In the coffee-- [Matt] No, that's right in the coffee, in the realm of coffee. And Lisa takes her coffee with a teaspoon of sugar and cream and-- [Lisa] That's right, I like it a little sweet. [Matt] She likes it a little sweet, that's right. [Aaron] And it's just like her character too. Little sweet. [Matt] And I love making coffee for her; I do. In the morning, I love making coffee. I love bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning. [Jennifer] And you guys do coffee as a family a lot, so can you just share a little bit about that 'cause I just love that. [Matt] Okay, so, why don't you tell how we've corrupted our young children? [Lisa] Well, we started off in our marriage. We started each day with having coffee. Matt would make a coffee tray for him and I, and we would sit and have coffee together. And then as each child came along, we then slowly incorporated them into this special time until it became something our whole family just loves and so even our older kids when they come home for the holidays or different vacations, they'll come and that's the thing they look forward to most is having our time together over a pot of coffee. And we just talk about what we're thinking about, what's going on in our world, and it's just a really close family time. [Matt] And you know, oh, sorry. That whole process of incorporating the kids into it. It's kind of funny because it's really a metaphor, or an example, if you will, of what happens in your family. Over time, we're very strict with the older kids. I don't even remember when we began allowing them to have coffee. Including them. I don't even remember, do you remember how old they were? [Lisa] No. [Matt] But, as time went on, the younger kids just get to start earlier and earlier. And I think we started, did Hawkin have his first? [Lisa] He was about seven or eight maybe-- [Aaron] It was a bottle right? [Lisa] When he had his first cup of coffee. [Matt] That's right. [Lisa] A very, very tiny cup of coffee, mostly milk. [Jennifer] Mostly milk, yeah. [Matt] Yeah, right, and so now we're going, okay, so. [Lisa] Almost because their dad's kind of soft on the issue. [Matt] I am; I am. [Jennifer] I was just gonna say, I follow Lisa on Instagram, and I love watching your stories because you'll post about it every once in a while of just your guys' family time around that, and it's beautiful and you can just tell, just from that short glimpse that you give the rest of us that it's a really beautiful time that you're cultivating in your family. [Matt] And in some senses, like you see the snapshot, and it is awesome, it really is. But, it's just so normal, a part of life, and a wonderful life is built on a lot of normal moments that you just string together over time. [Jennifer] Mm-hmm, it's true, yeah, it's good. [Matt] And so, yeah. [Aaron] Yeah, there's the big one-offs that are memorable, but then there's the, it's the everyday things that shape who we are, it's all those habits that we have and those routines. I love that. Why don't you share the quote from the chapter? And then we'll just start asking questions. [Jennifer] Okay, so this is from chapter five of Marriage after God. "Your marriage is the message you are preaching to other, "the way you and your spouse interact with each other "reveals the gospel you believe." [Aaron] Matt and Lisa, how would you that that is true in what you guys have experienced, because it's something that you've definitely not only shown us through your own marriage, but also directly have shown us in ours in saying hey, you can't expect to have this ministry over here if your home doesn't match. So could you give me some insight on how this quote plays out in real life? [Matt] Well, one of the things that you just naturally see in life is you see people in ministry and what's the big joke in America, at least it used to be, I don't know if it still is, who are the worst kids in church? The PKs, the preacher's kids, right? And so, that is so antithetical to how we're called to live in the word of God because we are called ambassadors. That means that we are representatives of the kingdom of God on earth. We bear the name of Christ, and we're his representatives. And how is it possible that you have this ministry or you have this public presence, and then it's not true in your own personal life. You wanna tell somebody about the wonderful truths of Scripture. And you wanna tell somebody the gospel and explain to them how they can have a wonderful relationship with the Lord. And then you don't have, you're not living those wonderful relationships in your family. I know that we had seen a lot of this early on. And we were even involved in a particular church, years and years ago, they were lovely people but focused just on evangelism and kinda lost the relationships with their kids over time. We just saw-- [Lisa] And in their marriage. [Matt] This family's disintegrating. And the marriage is. Then we though, you know what, the life that we're called to as believers is much more holistic than that. And the truths of the gospel are supposed to be manifest in our lives. And if I could just say one more thing. I know you've got a lot to say, too. You see in the instructions for church leadership in the book of 1 Timothy, one of the principal requirements of anybody in ministry and this is serving as an elder or a deacon within the church. [Aaron] Yes, specific position. [Matt] One of the principal requirements is that you've demonstrated that your children have yielded hearts to you. You're governing your family well. You're leading your family well. There's a sense of order and peace in your home. So God wants it to be true at home before we go out to represent him to the world. [Aaron] And what does Paul tell Timothy, he says how can you presume to manage the household of God if you can't manage your own home, which is how he, after all that teaching, he says that it doesn't make sense. [Matt] Yeah. [Lisa] And I think that Matt's kind of big picture guy. And I'm more of what does that look like in my day kind of person. And one thing I had noticed that in Scripture, when it talks about how we are to be towards one another, how we're to be, to be loving, patient, kind. And we apply all of those things to out there. So, just an example: I go to the grocery store, and the cashier's taking forever to get me through the line. And she apologizes, but I've read the Bible, so I'm going to be, oh it's fine, I'll wait. I understand you're trying your hardest, and we'll get through here because I'm being patient, and I'm being kind. And then I go home, and I have a different response when it takes Matt forever to come out and help me bring in the groceries in the house. Or, because I'll be snippin' at him-- [Matt] Has that ever happened, like even one time in our marriage? [Lisa] Like I wait for you? Do you really wanna bring that up? [Aaron] Everyone listening was like that was just today. [Lisa] So, but it really struck home to me that all those things that we think apply to out there to strangers or maybe to friends. It somehow, or maybe there's a disconnect, to actually sometimes the hardest person, sometimes, is actually the person your married to. [Jennifer] I was just gonna say, thinking about our own marriage. I used to do this thing where I would always be upbeat and positive and smiley with everyone. And then I'd come home and immediately my countenance would change, and Aaron-- [Aaron] I finally called you out on it, I was like-- [Jennifer] Yeah, 'cause Aaron would be like-- [Aaron] Why do they get the smiles and then I get this? [Jennifer] Yeah. [Aaron] What is this? [Jennifer] And then I remember specifically him saying, I want your best. And I had to figure it out. I had to figure out why I was doing that and check my flesh on it really. [Aaron] Well, I think there's a default position of, well, I have you, therefore you should deal with who I actually wanna be today, and everyone else has to, I want them to see the best part of me. It's almost like it's just totally backwards. And it's actually lying. [Matt] Well, the harsh reality of the circumstance is who you actually are in terms of your personal character is who you are when the doors are shut and you're letting your hair down, so to speak, and you're just being your natural self with the people where the consequences might not be as immediate or severe as they might be if you do this in public. And so, that's the reality of who we are. And so, it's important to take stock on those things. How am I with the people that I'm closest to because those are the people that we tend to take for granted and those are the circumstances that we tend to be a little less guarded. [Aaron] Now that you're saying that, I'm thinking, it's actually probably infinitely less damaging to be that kind of person in public, when people they may be offended for the moment, but they're gonna forget your face in like eight seconds 'cause they don't live with you than the person that we literally spend hours and hours a day and our lifetime with: our children, our spouse. We sacrifice the main thing for the non-main thing. [Matt] Totally, and that's of course humanly speaking, in terms of the cost, over the long-term. [Aaron] Yeah, publicly. [Matt] But relative to the Lord's perspective on these relations, he wants it to be the same everywhere. [Aaron] Yeah. [Matt] He wants us to be loving and in the spirit everywhere with the people, especially close to us, but also with everybody else that we're interacting with. [Aaron] Or repentant if we're not. [Jennifer] Yeah, yeah, there is grace Right? [Aaron] Which changes us. [Matt] Well, you know what, you brought up the R word: repentance. And that is such an important word and such an abused word in our Christian religious world because repentance has a specific meaning. It's a word that has a definition. And we cut ourselves so much slack and we dip back into the same sins over and, how about this, just this sin we're talking about here where we're not being kind to our spouse, but we've got it for everybody else. And, oh, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me. And Lord, I was unkind to my wife, please forgive me. I should have been more kind. And then we go on our day, and then I do it again. And then I do it again. Have I repented if I just keep walking in that same sin? [Aaron] No, you've apologized. [Matt] I've apologized, right? [Aaron] You're sorry for being-- [Matt] Because to repent means I used to do that, and now I'm doing this. It means to turn from, that's the definition of the word. And it's such a good word for Christians, all of us, to really wrestle with, and say, you know what, have I really repented and forsaken that sin? Because that's what it means to walk as God would have us as a couple and not to just keep going back, over and over and over again. [Aaron] I think of this quote. I'm not gonna say who said it, but someone in our family used to say, "If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it." That's kind of the idea; we say sorry over and over and over again. But in reality, our heart hasn't changed. We're just allowing something, whether we're intentionally doing something. We're not intentionally walking in the spirit, so therefore, we're defaulting to walking in the flesh, and we haven't repented of anything. This is something that I had to recognize in my life with certain sin in my life was I was sorry, but usually I was sorry for the shame or the regret or being caught or the remorse I see in your face or the pain I've caused you, Jennifer, but I'd never had been sorry for my sin which is what leads to repentance, and then I change and walk in that. So thanks for bringing that clarity. [Matt] Yeah, absolutely. And so to come full circle on your question, what does it mean to have a marriage that is reflecting the gospel? Well, if you have a marriage that is the kind of marriage that someone else is interested in, then you're not creating this incredible disconnect in the mind of the person that you're sharing the gospel with because what are you inviting them to? If the gospel hasn't affected and hasn't made your marriage beautiful, what are you inviting them to? Here we are married, and we have a bad, bickering, difficult, challenging marriage, and I'm out there telling somebody that Jesus loves them and died for them. It's so critical 'cause as we, and I know you guys have talked about on your podcast and certainly in your book, that your marriage is the gospel you're preaching, that is the gospel you're preaching. And the power of your message will not be one iota stronger or more influential than is the meaning and the love and the strength of your marriage relationship. [Jennifer] That's so good. I hope everyone hits rewind and just listens to that a few times. [Aaron] Yeah, and let's take marriage out of the picture, just in the Christian individual's life. If the gospel's not true in our life, so for me, when I was walking in my addiction to pornography, and I wasn't repentant of it, I thought I was, I was sorry for it; I was sorry for what it did to me, but I wasn't truly repentant of it. I could never tell someone that Christ came to bring freedom, which is what the Bible teaches us, that's the fruit of the gospel. [Matt] There you go. [Aaron] Because I couldn't walk in freedom. Like you said, I'm literally showing them, like, hey, here's God, he's awesome-- [Jennifer] He's powerless. [Aaron] He's powerless. [Jennifer] In my life. [Matt]right. [Aaron] He can't, and this isn't about just all of the sudden everything being healed and perfect and great, but this is definitely the truth of freedom from sin and death, which is what the Bible teaches, which is what Christ came to destroy. He took the power away from it. [Matt] Absolutely. [Aaron] But he doesn't have that in my life. Therefore, you should love God and believe in Jesus, but he can't actually do anything for the core of who you are. He can't change your physical situation or your spiritual situation, but, you know what, he's the thing you should believe in. It just doesn't make any sense. [Matt] No, it doesn't. We just need to remember that even if we're not saying anything, even if we're not on the street corner, preaching the gospel. We're preaching a sermon every time we walk out the door together. We're preaching a sermon. We're literally saying, this is what it means to be a Christian man and a Christian woman. Whether you mean to or not, you're preaching a sermon. The question is, what's the message that you're giving other people? [Jennifer] And how, can you explain, just for those people listening, how are they giving that message to other people? [Matt] It tends to be if you're living in a town and you've got your immediate circle and then you've got your circle of influence, the people you interact with, the people at the bank, the people at the gas station, the people at the grocery store, they know, over the course of time, they know whether you're a Christian or not. It just becomes evident that that is who you are. People probably don't realize it, but as somebody who identifies as a Christian, people watch you a little closer. They tend to want to just scrutinize you a little bit, or when we're at a restaurant. [Lisa] I was gonna say, what I was thinking about was how many times we've been in an airplane, traveling together, in a restaurant together, we have been stopped so many times by people we didn't even realize were watching us, someone who's serving us or the flight attendant, and said, you know, you two are just such a loving couple. And they could just see the way we were just interacting. And so people do notice that. And often times, especially at a restaurant, they'll see that we've prayed, so they also know that we're believers. And we've had a lot of opportunities to share the gospel with those people just even based on their observation of us. [Aaron] Well, it's uncommon. It's uncommon; it's normal to have cold relationships and being on the phones. It's uncommon to see engagement and true infatuation and adoration or-- [Lisa] Yeah, like the last time we were on a flight, we had a flight attendant come to us at the end of the flight, it was a long flight. And she said, "You know, the other flight attendants and I "were all talking about you two." Really? We're not that interesting. [Matt] Well, we were kissing, I mean. We were getting along kissing. [Lisa] That's right; that's right. And they were just observing how we were with each other, and how cute it was and thought we were maybe somewhat newly married. And I'm like, "Oh, no, we've been married 26 years, "and we have eight kids." Like, no way, yeah, really. [Aaron] And you're still in love? [Lisa] Yeah, yeah, it was really astonishing. [Matt] And you mentioned something about praying in a restaurant. And I know a lot of people listening probably do. It's probably less common these days than it has been in the past, but a lot of people still bow their heads and pray in a restaurant. Personally, I love doing that. I love just the witness: I'm a Christian, and I'm gonna give God thanks for this food. So I like doing that. But if you're somebody out there who does that, can I just encourage you to leave a fat, hog tip? Okay, because-- [Lisa] It's like a bonus. [Aaron] It is a bonus. [Matt] Because you've literally hoisted your flag at the table, I'm a Christian, and so, leave a great taste in your waiter's or server's mouth. [Aaron] It's a little sacrifice. [Matt] It's so small, yeah, so small. So small, but it's a good testimony, too. Just to say, you know what, love the Lord, and oh, by the way, God bless you. [Aaron] Going back to the, I think that's a great little bit of advice of how to spread the love of God. Like, hey, we love God and we just wanted to bless you, thank you-- [Matt] And certainly if it's a place that you go back more than once. [Jennifer] Yeah, that's true. [Aaron] Oh yeah! [Matt] You have struck up, well you've created an opportunity to strike up a conversation with the person because they're, well, first of all, they're business people, right? They wanna make money. So they wanna serve you well, and it's just an opportunity, that's all. Just an opportunity, if you're going to pray, then by all means, please don't complain about the food. [Aaron] I was gonna say that actually. There's certain Christiany things that we do, maybe we were raised that way, and we just pray. We're Christians, we love God, we pray. But then, let's say we're bickering at the table, or we are being super rude to the waiters, or our kids are throwing food on the floor and silverware. That is a part of our witness. [Lisa] It is. [Aaron] How we are. And they're like, you did the thing that I thought you were gonna do. They're looking for us to fail. [Jennifer] To fail, right. [Aaron] Doesn't mean we're not gonna fail, but the majority of the time, our hearts should be aware of how we're being, which goes back to that marriage being your ministry. You guys had this awesome, oh, people noticed us, and they stopped us and said thank you. We've had the other side of it. And no one's actually confronted us and saw us fighting, but we've had people message us after the fact. We've mentioned this a few times. And like, "Hey, we saw you in the store. "I didn't stop and say hi, but just wanted to say hi." And they'd message us on Instagram. And then we were like, "Oh my gosh, I think we were, were we fighting?" [Jennifer] This was a long time ago; we've gotten better since then. This was a long time ago. [Aaron] It made us aware, man, like, well, A, we have a social media presence, but it doesn't matter if you do. Like if you're a Christian, there's people that know you. You have friends, you have neighbors, you have, and people that may not know you personally, they're gonna see you regularly in your small town, or big town, I guess, because you frequent the same places. What kind of fragrance as a couple and as Christians do we give in this world where we say one thing and act a different way? That's literally what hypocrisy is. We talk about this, actually, in this chapter. We talk about, we're gonna ask you a question in a second, another question, but it doesn't make any sense if we're trying to minister in other ways, and then in the home, there is no real ministry happening. And so, question for you guys is are marriages being a ministry, and being our first ministry, because it's our first one another, our closest neighbor, we always like to say is our spouse and then our kids and everyone else. Are there marriages that are exempt from this? Well, this husband, he's a minister, and he doesn't actually have time to be focused on his family. Or a wife that's doing this thing over here for God, and she doesn't have time to serve her home and children. Are there marriages that are exempt from this? Why or why not? [Lisa] I don't know that there are exemptions in that sense although Matt might want to address that, but what that's come to mind, I do have many women write me who are in a marriage situation where the spouse is not a believer or at least not walking with God. And I know that that's a greater challenge, and I wouldn't want to put undue burden on that couple, especially the one that's trying to be faithful, and the other is not walking that way. There has to be grace for that, and the one person has to, you know, scripture tells us to keep quiet and just keep shining the light of Christ in their home. But I also wouldn't want to feel like, oh, I can't minister to others now because my spouse is not walking in truth right now. [Matt] And the way I would look at that is the Bible teaches us what is normal and how we are to walk as normal Christians in this world. And when it comes to marriage, what's normal is the way Jesus loves the church, his bride. That's how we're supposed to love our bride. That's normal. And that instruction, love your wife as Christ loved the church, that's not a special instruction for somebody who happens to be in the public eye. That is an instruction for absolutely every Christian man, every man who stands up and says, I follow Lord; I have committed my life to Christ. I have repented of my sin, and I'm a Christian. Every man who has said that should have a wife who says, I'm the most cherished woman I know. And no man is exempt from that. And so, here's the thing, if a church lays claim to being full of godly men, then there's one thing you know for sure, it's full of cherished wives. You cannot have one without the other. You cannot be a godly man and not cherish your wife. And so in that sense, I would say nobody's exempt from this, but, of course, we live in a broken world with lots of relationships and circumstances, and people have struggled. And God has grace for those things. But in those circumstances, the person, whatever they are, wherever they fall on the spectrum, difficult and virtually sad and very challenging to not that bad, wherever they are in the spectrum, their job is to draw near to God and walk as closely to God as he wants them, as he desires them to, and to seek them in those circumstances. But I appreciate you bringing that up because there are lot of people, lots of wives, lots of husbands, a husband called us recently. His wife left, he's got, I think they've got five kids. One of the kids has Down's Syndrome, and the wife's just like, "I'm done." And she left, and he didn't want her to leave, he tried to love her right up through, for several years, up to point where she left. He himself has remained faithful and has a ministry even though she's left, so it's true, it's not that you don't have a ministry. It's just that God provides his standards and principles and requirements for Christian men, for Christian wives, and for marriage. And then sin comes in and everything else is an exception to the rule, but the rule is every man is to cherish his wife in the way Jesus Christ loves the church. [Aaron] So, I do appreciate Lisa that you brought that up, too, because I'm sure that we have people that listen, and one of the spouses is not walking, is not a believer, and we get, praise God, he gives provision for this in his word, in 1 Peter, he shows, it's funny because it's to the wife, it's almost like he knew that men were gonna be more prone to this, not being faithful, which is sad, but it's true. But even then I think, you're right, that it doesn't mean they can't have ministry outside of the home because their marriage isn't in order correctly faith wise, but that doesn't mean that their first ministry still isn't their spouse. Like you said, they still have a call, the wife or the husband, to serve and love their spouse the way the Bible has called them to, faithfully, whether they receive it or not, of course. And that's also, I don't wanna say qualifies, I don't know if that's the right word, but, it still prepares them to do ministry outside their home because it's in order. Instead of, I'm not going to love my husband or my wife like this because they're treating me this way, but I am gonna go love over here, that's not gonna produce the kind of fruit that God's looking for. But I did appreciate that. I think it's totally relevant to recognize that there are these non-ideal marriages. [Matt] You know, and one of the things that might be important to mention here is wherever you are on the spectrum: you have a spectacular marriage all the way to it's terrible. We tend to fall into this wrong thought process that goes something like this: you're walking in sin; therefore, I can't help being the way I am. [Lisa] Oh, now, that's a good point. [Matt] And the fact of the matter is is the way you act has nothing to do with my capacity as a believer to walk in holiness. [Lisa] Right, no that's-- [Matt] And we kinda cut ourselves a little slack there, don't we? 'Cause if you're a certain way, well then that gives me license to be another way in response-- [Aaron] Yeah, if you only respected me, I would treat you or love you as Christ loves the church. [Matt] That's right, and every one of us has the capacity according to the word of God to walk in holiness, irrespective of how our spouse is walking. Now we certainly make it easier, right? If we're walking in holiness for the other person. But, we can't blame our distance from God on how someone else has chosen to act. [Aaron] Amen. [Jennifer] Taking a look into your guys' marriage. You know, you've been married quite a while. So go back to the beginning. Was there a learning curve in your guys' relationship on how to love and respect each other and cherish each other in that? [Matt] OH, absolutely. I was the most loving husband in the world. The only problem-- [Aaron] That's a real laugh, by the way. [Matt] The only-- [Lisa] Revisionist history, I think that's what it's-- [Matt] The only problem with it is I was loving Lisa in the way that said love to me. [Lisa] Oh, that's true. [Matt] We'd like to tell the story, in fact, we tell it on our own podcast. We just have this crazy story where I literally am superman husband, okay? I am helping out with everything. [Lisa] It's our first year of marriage. [Matt] First year of marriage. I am helping out with everything. I am helping with, not the laundry, you wouldn't let me touch the laundry 'cause she said, nope, that's mine; I will do the laundry. Everything else, the vacuuming, folding the laundry. [Lisa] Cleaning the bathrooms. [Matt] Cleaning the bathrooms, everything else, the dishes, everything, I'm helping, I'm helping. I'm doing it all, and I'm thinking-- [Lisa] And I'm getting madder and madder and-- [Matt] And she's over in the kitchen. And there's the flames, you know, the ones coming out of her eyes, are visible from across the room, and I-- [Aaron] Although I have never seen Lisa angry before, so I couldn't-- [Lisa] Oh, I'm capable. [Matt] And I thought, what is wrong with this woman? You can't find five guys in the entire state of Oregon that do the things that I do with a willing heart, and I'm trying to bless you, you're just, there's nothing that will make you happy. You can't be blessed; I don't know what your problem is. And so, she just takes the towel, and she almost busts a dish on me as she sets the plate down on the counter. And then she takes the towel and throws it on the counter. [Lisa] Thank you. [Matt] And I'm going, what in the world. She turns to me, and she goes, "I just don't know why you don't love me." [Lisa] True story. [Aaron] What's happening? [Matt] And I'm going, okay, am I losing my mind here? And I'm going, you've gotta be kid, you've literally got to be kidding me. [Lisa] So my thinking is I can vacuum, I can clean the bathrooms, anybody can do that. But there's only one guy in my life that can take me out and spend some time with me and listen to my thoughts. [Aaron] Look in my eyes-- [Lisa] Yes! [Aaron] And talk to me. [Lisa] And so he could just feel my frustration over time. So, the more frustrated he would feel-- [Matt] I would try harder. [Lisa] The more he'd vacuum. [Matt] I'd do more! [Lisa] And I'm just like, put the stupid vacuum down. I just want to spend time with yo. [Matt] So I'm going, wow, that's easy. [Lisa] Yeah. [Matt] Who knew love was that easy? So in our case, it was just me taking the initiative to say, okay, we're gonna go out at such-and-such a day, and it didn't matter what it was. We'd go for a walk; we could go have a cup of coffee. And I mean, at any time you as a husband tell your wife, "Hey, I just wanna spend some time with you." You can turn one cup of coffee into an awesome date. You really can. [Lisa] It doesn't take much. [Matt] It doesn't take much. You talk about learning curve, absolutely we had to learn each other and what was important to you and what was important to me and this is so true in absolutely every area of marriage. For instance, we've given you the for instance in terms of the learning curve, but in terms of discovering what it is your spouse is interested in, what they like, what's important to them. There's a very, very interesting way of finding out. [Aaron] You ask. [Matt] You ask a question! Yeah, yeah, and it's such a great thing to do because you know what happens when I turn to you and I ask you a question about you. [Lisa] Yeah. [Matt] Who doesn't like talking about themselves? Who doesn't like being known and explored and discovered. Who doesn't like someone being interested in them. So that's what we do when we turn to our spouse and say, okay, I wanna ask you a question. I wanna ask you what are three things that I can do that would make you feel loved? So that's just the normal stuff of marriage. But you know what? And you can even take it right into the subject of sex. And you can say, what are things that you enjoy when we come together physically? What are some of those things? Because, you know what, we tend to love the other person with the things that we want. [Lisa] I think that sometimes people boil this down to love languages, which is interesting and helpful. But what we're talking about is so much more than a love language, for one thing, those things change over time. It depends when the season when we had four kids, five and under, the vacuum really helped a lot, and I had a, not that I still didn't want to go out, [Aaron] Right, in that season, that was much more loving. [Lisa] Yeah, it was loving; it did mean a lot. [Matt] And physical touch when we had five kids. What would the age's spread have been with our five kids? [Lisa] Yeah, six and under. [Matt] Five kids six and under. Physical touch was less important to her in those years. [Lisa] Imagine that. [Matt] You know? She's got kids. You got enough of that. [Jennifer] Her tank is full. [Matt] Yeah, I'm touching 24/7, exactly. Right, so it does change over time. [Lisa] So instead of thinking of it as big subjects of love language, think of it as who you are as a person and where are you at today, where are you at in this season, where are you at in your life right now. And that involves that continual seeking and pursuing and asking. [Jennifer] So continual even after 26 years. Like you guys are still asking? [Matt] Absolutely. [Aaron] You have gotten there yet? [Matt] Absolutely. [Aaron] You haven't gotten to the-- [Matt] No, we're seeking each other all the time. And you know what? [Jennifer] And it's fun, right? [Lisa] It is. [Matt] It is fun, absolutely fun. And the thing is, if you love the other person, it's not a burden to do it. You actually want to know where they're at. You wanna know where their heart is at. [Lisa] And I think it can even be in somewhat negative things like say, I notice something triggers Matt into a bad mood or just like a dark, you know. And it used to be, when we were younger, that would just like, oh, fine, if you're gonna be in a bad mood, then I'll just stay away from you. I'm not saying those things, but that was my basic attitude. And I feel like over the years, now, let's say something like that happens, which it does, then I can say, I noticed, like something happened, you know, we had a good start today, and then something kind of went sideways. You wanna tell me about that? Did something happen or did I say something? Not in a defensive way, but just really, we've had some really good conversations about that. He'd go, "You know, I wasn't aware of that." Sometimes even going back to your childhood. As a child, my mom treated me a certain way, so now whenever I hear this phrase, it takes me back to a time when I didn't feel cared for. [Aaron] Yeah. [Lisa] And you're thinking, oh, well, I didn't mean to [Aaron] I know how it feels. [Lisa] communicate that I didn't care for you. But I can see that that would translate to that. And now I know, and I can be more mindful of that. [Aaron] And lovingly. Just the loving hey, is everything okay? Not because you're bothered by it. [Lisa] Yes. [Aaron] But because you're concerned for it. [Lisa] Yes. [Aaron] Which then, I'm sure, Matt, you would experience. There's been times that I don't even know why I'm brooding. It just takes a moment to be checked on it. And then I'm like, oh, I actually don't know why I'm brooding right now; I actually do feel irritated. I don't know why. Which it totally could be a hormonal thing, it could be a something I ate, and maybe there's something spiritual going on that we need to be praying through, but that approach of not taking it personally because we do that. Why are you doing this around me? I was in a great mood, now you just brought me down. But rather, helper, but for each, an actual concern. Hey, is everything alright? That was a really good bit of advice. I think everyone listening is gonna be loving these tips because this is 26 years of you guys learning this. We're only 12 in, what is that? We're not even half. [Matt] It'll go quick; it'll go quick. [Aaron] We are halfway to the kids, though. [Matt] Oh, that's right. [Lisa] Yeah. [Matt] And you got started earlier than we did. [Aaron] We got started earlier, so we might bypass you So you guys'll [Matt] Outpace us, yeah, that's right. But then there's adoption, we can stay ahead of 'em. [Aaron] It's true, that's true. So I'm loving these tips. And it all plays back into this. Right now, you're talking about how you guys minister to each other. Loving each other, cultivating intimacy, the communication, the strong bond which allows us, then, it frees us to be more able to minister outside the home. Not that it can't happen, but when you guys are so connected, so close, there's more freedom, and less internal turmoil. [Matt] I might even say it a little differently. I would say what it does is it authenticates the message. [Aaron] That's perfect. [Matt] And you know, we see this principle, well not just principle, we see this exact teaching in the high priestly prayer that Jesus prays in John 17 where he's saying, their unity, let them be one as we are one, Jesus is praying. Let them, his followers, those who come to Christ, who come to a repentance and become the children of God. Let them be one as we are one that the world might believe that you have sent me. The unity that we have, the oneness that we have is the authentication of the message of Christ that he came from the Father. And so, that's so true in the church as a whole, and it's absolutely true in marriage. When we're walking in love, when we're walking in unity, when we're exuding that, where we go through life, it authenticates the message when we do speak the truth of the gospel to someone. [Lisa] And not just out there, but in our own homes, to our kids. [Matt] Oh, that's just so true. [Lisa] When your kids are little, you can kinda get away with it, or at least you think you are. [Aaron] We think we think we are. [Lisa] Believe me, as they get older, they'll tell the world what it's really like at home. They'll tell their friends. [Matt] They do. [Lisa] I'm just saying because it's reality. And the opposite is true, too, that if you are loving each other, it's a witness to them, it's an encouragement to them. Our kids all want to get married. They want to have that kind of marriage. And that's a huge blessing. One of the things that we recently asked one of our older daughters, who's in her twenties. I think it was a Father's Day thing. What do you like most about your dad? She said that, "He loves Mom so well." And it was such a beautiful testimony that yeah, they're watching, they know whether you have loved each other in those quiet moments. [Aaron] Well, when you think about it, almost everyone probably listening, when they look back and they think about their home and how they were raised, I'm sure a lot of them, being raised in Christian homes or not, maybe heard the Bible, but did they see it? Did they see the Bible; did they see the gospel? They don't remember what they ate. They don't remember all the places they've been. But they definitely remember how Mom and Dad were together. They definitely remember how Mom and Dad treated them. And that's where the ministry in our home comes in. 'Cause I've told Jennifer this. I said, Jennifer, all of these things that we have, Unveiled Wife, Husband Revolution, our podcast. I said all of that means absolutely nothing if my kids don't know the Lord. And so, not just our ministry to each other that we have a healthy marriage and that we're godly, and that we love each other and respect each other and honor each other and cherish each other and serve each other, but that my kids see it. And that they recognize what we're doing and why we're doing it, and that at the end of the day, they look back and they say thank you to us, not because of us alone, but because we were obedient. I want my kids to say that. I want my kids to say, "Mom and Dad loved each other. "I just know it; they loved me, and they showed me "who God was and they lived it every day. "They didn't just use their words." As James says, don't just be hearers only, but doers of the word. Are we just listening and not doing? Are we just telling and doing the opposite? The do what I say, not what I do? [Lisa] Right, right. [Matt] Do what I say, not what I do. It works every time, just not the way the parent thought it was going to work. [Aaron] Exactly and so I just, going back to that, that's what I want everyone listening to understand. The main purpose of this chapter in the book, is, and it's early on in the book, it's chapter five, and it's setting this idea of we could want to do lots of things for God, but God wants us to do what he's told us to do. And if we can't be faithful with the little thing, and the little thing is our children, our spouse, our home, this is a little picture of the world. If I can't minister to my wife and love her as Christ loves the church, I have no right going and loving a stranger like that. I could. [Matt] I think what we do is we tend to think like, I know what you're saying, as this is the little thing, so to do the big thing. I actually think that reality is kind of on its head. [Aaron] Okay. [Matt] I think the big thing we're doing is we're being faithful with our spouses, we're being faithful in discipling our children. And it's a great, big deal, and see-- [Aaron] Man, I heard that, yeah. [Matt] If the church had been teaching and focusing on that these past, what, I dunno, however many years. [Aaron] 60 or 70 years. [Matt] Would the church be in the state that it's in today with disintegrating families and churches filled with unfulfilled marriages and disappointments and divorce and all of those things. It's a great big deal. And if we're faithful here, God can entrust with ministry elsewhere. [Jennifer] In chapter 14 of the book, we talk about how what God sees as extraordinary is so different than what the world deems extraordinary. When we look at our own lives, it is that day-to-day, all those little choices of discipling our children, being faithful to one another, that is extraordinary because that is where God is working. [Aaron] Especially today, it's normal, you brought up the word normal, it's common, that's what it is, it's common in the world for there to be divorce and unfaithfulness and children who are rebellious and hate their parents. It is extraordinary and remarkable now even though it should be normal for a marriage to have love in it. [Matt] Well, that's just it. [Aaron] The gospel. [Matt] It is normal, biblical marriage to have a loving, close, wonderful, fulfilling, enjoyable, beautiful oneness in marriage. That is normal Christianity; that's normal marriage. The problem is, is we see what's common around us in the world, and we get used to what's common, and start thinking that that's normal, but it's not. If you have a biblical perspective, if you walk God's way, and your marriage reflects God's priorities and principles, then you're gonna have an awesome, wonderful, beautiful, loving, enjoyable marriage because that's what a normal Christian marriage really is. [Jennifer] And the power of God's testimony in your life is actually powerful. [Matt] Absolutely, right, exactly. [Aaron] Well, people can't argue with it. I mean, they can argue with anything. We were just talking about this. When you're around people that are walking a certain way, makes it easier to believe that you can too. That goes both ways. So when you see someone, and you're like man they're, like the stewardesses looking at you. They don't your whole story, but they know the story they just saw. You're not faking it when you're sitting in the aisle, whatever row you're in and like, oh we want everyone to see that we're perfect. We have this smile on because you can't fake it. [Matt] Yeah. [Aaron] Everyone fakes it, and no one falls for it. Like, oh-- [Jennifer] Maybe for a short flight, but not long one like you said. [Aaron] Yeah, the short flight's, but yeah. [Matt] That's right. [Aaron] And again, we keep going back to this. God's not interested in just us having a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. [Matt] No. [Aaron] For the sake of happy and healthy marriage. That's not an end game. [Matt] That's exactly right. [Aaron] It's the means to the end, like you said. It's what, what was the word you used? It verifies, no-- [Matt] Authenticates. [Aaron] It authenticates. [Matt] Yeah. [Aaron] What's sad and still is very powerful to realize is when we're not it doesn't make God the liar. It makes us the liar. [Matt] It reminds me or brings to mind that phrase. Having a form of godliness, but denying the power. 'Cause you look at it from a galloping horse at 100 yards, and it looks like Christianity. It looks like something that's related to God and related to the Bible. But then you get close and you see, well, no, actually. It's not real; it's not true, and that's when we see the disintegration in the next generation when the kids are like, I don't want any part of that. Again, you just can't hide that. And especially, you mentioned, Lisa, you said, yeah, you can't hide it, your kids will absolutely tell the story and we know of a family. The snapshot looks amazing, and nobody would know this, but their kids told us recently, oh yeah, our parents yell all the time. And you'd never know it, but the kids know it. And the kids are now talking; they're all older now. And now they're saying, oh, no, no, no, no. Parents yell all the time. So that's why it's gotta be true there because if you're out witnessing, if you're that parents, and it could be yelling or bickering or fighting or cheating on your taxes or any number of things, but if you're that parent, and in the gas stations, you're telling a guy, oh, hey, the Lord Jesus Christ died for you, and God loves you, and he wants you to have a relationship. The kid is sitting there going, "Are you kidding me?" it's so important that for the things that we say to be true about how we live. It's called not being a hypocrite, and your kids can figure it out at a very early age. [Aaron] All of this was so good. I'm encouraged; it makes me think about my marriage even though we're constantly working on it, I just think, man, I wanna-- Makes me think [Jennifer] Of the kids. [Aaron] Yeah, I wanna pursue you more. I want to constantly be doing that for the sake of our outward ministry and for the sake of our home, so thank you for these stories, the openness with us. We're gonna ask you our question that we're asking everyone. What is your definition of a marriage after God? [Lisa] I think that it's that ever growing a deeper love for each other. And it doesn't have to be perfect. I think sometimes we just go, well, it's perfect, so we throw our hands, or it's not perfect, so we throw our hands up. Instead of thinking, no, I'm gonna move forward in this. And I'm gonna grow in these areas. I can even think of things I have struggled with. Believe it or not, I do have a temper. And Matt has the ability, somehow, to press that button better than anybody else I know. [Matt] Well, I mean, just on a boring Saturday. I mean if there's nothing else to do. [Lisa] Press my buttons. So I'll find myself reacting to him, and I will stop myself literally mid-sentence and go, wait, it's like, yep, like okay. [Aaron] That's a good-- [Lisa] What I wanted say was. I didn't quite the first two seconds or minutes, however the situation was, wasn't right. But checking myself and going, okay, but that's not who I wanna be. That's how I was, but that's not who I wanna be anymore, so I wanna try again. And giving each other that grace to grow, but being determined to change and not say, this is not who I wanna be; I do want us to be loving close. [Matt] And for me, I think I would boil it down. I mean, that's a huge subject, right? And there's so many facets to it. But I would boil it down to this. The fundamental understanding that my marriage is what God is doing in the world. It's not what I'm doing in the world. It's not the thing that I have; I have a marriage. My marriage is what God is doing in the world. The Bible says what God has put together let no man put asunder. This is something God is doing, and so if you have that basic, fundamental faith about this relationship, it's a foundation and a starting point for moving forward. [Jennifer] Thank you guys so much for joining us today. This has just been, like Aaron said, incredible and inspiring. If people were inspired today and they want to follow you more, can you just remind them where they can find you? [Lisa] We have a podcast, Faithful Life. And we'd love to have you join us over there. And we also, both of us have a website. Matt has faithfulman.com, and I have club31women.com. [Matt] And then you're also on Instagram, club31women and faithfulman, on Instagram, so you can find us there as well. [Aaron] Everyone listening, definitely go follow them, they are golden. [Jennifer] If you like Marriage after God, and you like what we share, you're definitely gonna like them. [Aaron] We actually just steal all of our content from them and repurpose them. They have been integral in the growth and maturity in our life. And so, we appreciate you guys. [Jennifer] Thank you. [Aaron] And we thank you for not only sharing with our audience now, but for sharing with us over the last five years. [Lisa And Matt] We love you guys. [Aaron] That we've known you guys. So, we're gonna close out with a prayer. Jennifer's gonna pray and then, yeah. [Jennifer] Dear Lord, thank you for creating marriage with such a significant purpose of revealing to the world your divine love. Please help us to make choices that reflect your love in the way we love one another. May we choose to walk in obedience. Thank you for your word which instructs us and shows us how we should walk in obedience. Please continue to give us wisdom and strength as we choose to walk in the spirit and not our flesh. We pray we would make our marriage a priority. We pray we would gain deeper understanding of how our marriage is our first ministry, and the impact we have in each other's lives and in this world just by remaining faithful to your word. If our priorities are ever out of order, or if we are not unified, please help us to change our course. Constantly direct our hearts to align with yours. May our marriage always be in a place where you can use us as a symbol to point other to you, and may you be glorified. In Jesus' name, amen. [Aaron] Amen. [Matt] Amen. [Aaron] So, thank you all for listening today. I hope this blessed you guys. And as always, we want you guys to have a conversation about this. Go on a date, and discuss the things that we talked about today. We have, what is it, 11 more episodes in this series. 11 more interviews to come. They're gonna be awesome; please stay tuned. We look forward to having you next week. Did you enjoy today's show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave a review on iTunes. Also, if you're interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources at marriageafterGod.com, and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

Datavest CEO & Founder Rob Nicholas Stone discusses the monetization of private data through his blockchain based application DATAVEST, a cooperative that monetizes user data and pays back individuals in the form of datanotes.Transcript:INTROMethod to the Madness is next.You're listening to Method to the Madness, a bi-weekly public affairs show on K-A-L-X Berkeley celebrating innovators. Last time on Method to the Madness we talked with Block chain at Berkeley about block chain technology and what that means. Today we're going to be talking with Rob Nicholas Stone, the founder and CEO of DATAVEST, an application that sits on top of this block chain technology.LISA: Thanks for coming in Rob. ROB: Yeah, absolutely!LISA: What is DATAVEST?ROB: DATAVEST is a way for individuals to monetize the value of their personal data. LISA: How is that different from what's going on right now? Rob: Data right now is being monetized. It's being capitalized by some of the largest corporations. And they're able to do that because they have the ability to kind of aggregate all of this data from multiple sources from millions of users. What we're saying is that it's an unfair exchange and the value of your data, the data that you're providing to these companies is greater than the value that is returned to you and it's driving up the largest market capitalizations of the largest kind of Internet platforms.LISA: So it sounds like you're creating a meta transaction in which the intrinsic value of my data is more than just what I'm giving to Facebook or whatever.ROB: Individually we don't have much leverage negotiating a fair price for our data. There's a value premium when that data is aggregated. It's been difficult to find a mechanism for allowing individuals to share that data and benefit from the aggregate value that's generated by a platform like Facebook. One of the challenges we had initially was trying to figure out how do we value data is it a pro-rata share of current revenue that that's generated from that data. Is it the kind of commodity price wanted sold by maybe a data broker? or in the context of Facebook and Instagram and Google and Amazon, they're able to capitalize the value because this data, even if they don't know what the application is going to be in the future they're able to price that into the current value of the company. One way that you could look at it is looking at the market capitalization of say Facebook and dividing by the number of users of Facebook. And that's going to be a much larger number than the current revenue of Facebook divided by the number of users.LISA: I'm curious why you wanted to do this because reading about block chain technology the history of it, originally it was of culturally and socially revolutionary idea. Since that time about 10 years ago, I feel like it's lost a little bit of that sheen but what you're doing is sort of a throwback to that original idea which is that it belongs to the people. ROB: Right. I knew that everybody had this form of capital that was extremely extremely valuable. And I also knew that in order to appropriately monetize this data, individuals had to have ownership over the application of the data. And so the first two months was basically me trying to figure out how to provide individuals with how to give them a vested interest in the applications that are built atop the aggregate data that's provided. The first idea was we would basically issue individual stock in our company and that company would use this data and monetize it and capitalize it and they would have this vested interest not just in the current value of their data but also the future value. Obviously that for millions of people would be extremely difficult to do. It would be almost a logistical nightmare to pull off in. And so that's where cryptocurrency came into the equation through block chain, through smart contracts. There's a way to design a platform and issue this currency that is similar to equity in a sense, in that it provides individuals with a vested interest in the platform in the application. And so that that's kind of how I arrived at the block chain space.LISA: What is the problem DATAVEST is trying to solve?ROB:A lot of the inequality or injustice right now occurs around this asymmetry of information. Whenever a corporation or a company or organization has more information about you than you have about them, it creates an inbalance. The reason why we decided to issue a digital currency in exchange for data is that I see currency as a form of language and it's a means, a tool of communicating and exchanging value. And what's interesting about data information knowledge is when it's exchanged there's no less of it in the hands of the one transacting it. If I explain an idea to you, I still have the idea and now you have it too. There's a greater supply. There was a book called Unjust Deserts written by Gar Alperovitz and he lays out the idea of this technological residual and it's kind of the gains in productivity not attributed to say capital or labor but is a product of technological advance generally speaking, where it's difficult almost impossible to attribute individual credit for this social phenomenon, but what capitalism tells us to do is is ascribe individual credit for the product of a social phenomenon. Similar to language, a piece of data or a word has very little meaning without the alphabet, without the multiple arrangements of those words and concepts and so similar to this our data doesn't have much value alone when it's siloed. This has been the challenge is that that individuals don't have a way to benefit. It's almost as if language has been co-opted or or taken, monopolized by a lot of these companies and corporations. The reason why we created DATAVEST was to create a platform, a cooperative platform, that basically co-ops back this data and information that's been taken from us and allows us to benefit in this common language through this digital currency.LISA:That's revolutionary. It reminds me of Marx and Veblen. Where did you begin to start thinking about these kinds of ideas?ROB: Maybe Veblen, actually. It's funny that you bring that up. He wrote about this idea of absentee ownership when capital is invested by those not vested in the in the company that that capital goes towards. It creates a kind of perverse incentive. If individuals had ownership and they were also the consumers within a company, the incentives are not really to to maximize profit at the expense of higher prices for consumers. I guess another way to put it is if consumers were the owners what would that look like? Right now there's a there's kind of a movement applying the concepts and ideas of cooperatives to Internet platforms. It's called Platform co-operative-ism and it's a guy named Trevor Schultz. He's a professor at the New School in New York and he's written a lot about this. If you look at maybe Uber and what that would look like as a platform co-operative, you'd have the situation where the drivers and the riders are the owners of the ride share company or YouTube platform where the content creators and users benefit from the value created in a business sense by that platform or AirBNB owned by those running out their houses and those using it. It's just, it's an alignment of incentives that I think is more rational. If the economy is unequal for rational reasons that's one thing. But when it's completely irrational and I couldn't ignore it any longer, if if you look back at kind of the progression of capitalism from laissez faire in the 19th century John Maynard Keynes basically kind of saving capitalism in a sense by figuring out a monetary policy that could or fiscal spending that could increase employment. But in finance everyone always talks about inflation, as well, we need a healthy level of inflation. But when you think about it its inflation is really just a decrease in purchasing power and Keynes, his kind of insight was that it's difficult to lower nominal wages. But if you print more money you devalue the currency, you can lower real wages without kind of workers knowing about it. So it almost seemed like a trick. It's like you're tricking labor into thinking that they're getting paid the same amount, that excess profit from real wages going down, you know goes towards the owners of the company. And so the stock market benefits from that. Seeing the irrationality there, this plays into kind of how we've created our currency. It's not like the Federal Reserve where a couple banks have access to the discount window. It's every single individual has direct access to the analog of the Federal Reserve. You have a direct line into creating new money and it goes to you, not to some large institution.LISA: What are some of the challenges that you're facing right now?ROB: I think the principal challenge is explaining a new idea and trying to communicate something really that hasn't been done successfully before.LISA: Why did you choose the co-op structure?ROB: I don't know if you've ever used Apple Itunes. It's basically data as a service or software as a service where you subscribe to a service and pay a fee. We're kind of turning that on its head. The future revenue that could be generated by this data needs to stay in the hands of those who produced it. If you were structuring this as a C corporation where the data was owned by conventional corporate structure. What happens when Amazon or some platform wants to buy all of the data and then what happens to the value of the currency when all of a sudden you know whoever is acquiring the information the data decides to use that monetize that more for their existing shareholders? We've created a co-operative where the data is always owned by the individuals who are producing the data. We own this data.Companies can only subscribe to it and they never own.ID/BREAKIf you're just tuning in you're listening to method to the madness, a bi-weekly public affairs show on K-A-L-X Berkeley. I'm your host Lisa Kiefer. Today I'm speaking with the CEO and founder of DATAVEST, Rob Nicholas Stone. As we continue our de-mystification of block chain technology and the token economies.LISA: A member of your board recently told me that you were the most dangerous man in America. What do you think he said that?ROB: So I think the reason why he said that was when I first met with him I laid out a plan for disrupting not only Silicon Valley but also Wall Street and fiat currency and how to go about creating a new non-sovereign alternative to national fiat.LISA: What's your background your history how you came to this idea?ROB: It came about in kind of a strange way. I'd done a lot of work in microfinance in Argentina. I worked at Morgan Stanley working kind of closely with their Institute of Sustainable Investing, so socially responsible investing and it was always about how do we direct capital to where it's most productive. The insight or the 3:00 a.m. epiphany for me was that everybody already has a form of extremely valuable capital. They're just they just don't have the framework to monetize it and receive the full value of that data.LISA: How long is that when that light bulb went off?ROB: That's about eight months ago. LISA: Well people are talking about universal basic income now. And to me this is sort of a workaround to that. I could get money from my data every month instead of trying to figure out a universal basic income through the federal government.ROB: Right. And we framed it sometimes this way. It seems strident to kind of imagine this could actually provide consistent guaranteed level of income to individuals but it really is, it is a private sector mechanism for UBI that requires no subsidies no welfare just receiving kind of the value that you're already creating. Back in 1965 Lewis Kelso, he is kind of the founder the creator of the Employee Stock Ownership Plan, and he said that the challenge of our age is figuring out a way that workers or individuals can take ownership in the technology that's essentially replacing them. Thinking currently about that, what's driving the technological advances that we're seeing right now? A lot of it is this networked data and so you could achieve two things at once, you allow individuals to have access to a form of capital and at the same time that capital happens to be the core ingredients, the fuel that's driving the technological advances that we're seeing currently. So it's a way to gain ownership over this technology for anyone essentially with a with a smartphone and internet connection is able to accrue value.LISA: Where do I find out about this?ROB: It will be on a mobile app so you download the app and you're presented with, we're calling them data funds, that it could be a specific sector or a company innovative new technology and you're able to invest your data into that company and receive an asset that's derived from that data. We're calling them data notes. Users will receive this immediately upon the investment of their data.LISA: Give me an example of a company that I would say OK I'm going to open my data to you.ROB: An example that I think really drives this point home is, I don't know if you've ever used Twenty-Three and Me? There's nothing more personal than our genetic information or genetic data and in companies like this are able to aggregate millions of potential volunteers who are or are willing to provide this and sell that off to pharmaceutical companies to create some of the most profitable new drugs or treatments or therapies and the individual is not compensated.LISA: In fact, we have to pay to actually do it.ROB: Right. What we're trying to do is create a way for individuals providing data such as this to drive some of the most innovative kind of medical breakthroughs but also be vested in the value that's created from its application and the application is great. It's just the fact that those who are creating this information, this data, are forgotten about. One example is that hedge funds are basically purchasing your data there. They're going to companies such as Yodaly that are transaction aggregators and they're looking at kind of trends in our spending and they're trading on that information. Hedge funds are really some of the biggest buyers of this type of data. They call it alternative data. Hedge Fund wants access to some alternative data, some transaction data that they're already collecting from us. What we would require is that they subscribe to access this information that's totally anonymized. They don't really care who you are. They just want the data and they want to pick up trends in consumer preferences and what people are buying and they're able to trade on that. So data in that revenue that they pay will be rerouted through smart contracts and this gets back to the value of the block chain to repurchasing the currency on the secondary market and compensating individuals who actually provided that data. This is a form of ownership.LISA: So if I'm a member of this, will I have like a little token bank on my computer and every now and then I see some monetary value?ROB: That's right. You'll have a wallet. LISA: So I don't need a bank for this. ROB: You don't need a bank. The idea getting back to kind of the idea of universal basic income is that we wanted anyone in the world to be able to gain access to this. Anyone with a smartphone and internet connection is able to start accruing this capital that they already have. When you kind of sit back and think about it, they're making billions of dollars based on data that we've provided them with. What we're thinking about is how to use our own information, share it, cooperatively own it, and monetize it kind of directly. The future revenue that we create at DATAVEST through aggregating this information is directly driven back into the value of the currency. As revenue comes in, that revenue is redirected into supporting the value of the currency.LISA: So let's say I have two hundred of your one of your tokens called?ROB: Data notes. LISA: OK. Data notes. Where can I spend those?ROB: Initially you're able to convert those into U.S. dollars. They're completely liquid. So you're able to exchange them for other digital currencies or you're able to just cash them out and we're using Ethereum. And it's done through Etherium. LISA: You're letting Etherium do your mining?ROB: Right. LISA: So you don't have to worry about massive computers. ROB: Right. LISA: Why did you choose Etherium?ROB: We chose Etherium, a technology that allows us to design a platform that works for us, because of the ability to design smart contracts that achieve the purpose of our intention.LISA: What is a smart contract? What does that mean?ROB: The reason why DATAVEST is using smart contracts is a lot of crypto currencies right now, they haven't figured out a way to have the off chain organization or company benefit the currency directly. So what we've done is we've created a protocol or smart contract that as DATAVEST as a platform generates revenue, we have that revenue going directly into supporting the value of the currency and that's done through our currency repurchase protocol. Which, it's basically like a stock buyback by a company where the company wants to return value directly to shareholders by buying stock on the market and taking it back as treasury stock. You increase demand, you reduce supply, and that benefits our end users and they have a vested kind of interest in almost a form of ownership in the platform. You can put anything, you could almost put anything in into it, any kind of contract. It triggers an event based on something happening off chain. So as revenue comes in, that triggers the repurchase of currency without any intermediary. So it's rules-based governance of monetary policy essentially. What we've done by creating kind of a cooperative structure with smart contracts is that there's kind of two extremes right now. You have the kind of purist crypto currency folks that they don't want anything off chain. They don't want to leave any kind of room for active governance. And then you have on the other side permission block chain, which basically means you know it's a corporation is calling all the shots and determining everything. We tried to find a middle ground where there's a democratic processes in place through the co-operative and there is a level of governance that can kind of manage the supply of this currency in a rational way.LISA: Where does the U.S. government come in or any government come into play here? If I'm a user and I start getting money from my data, my private data, say I'm starting to accumulate some tokens. Is that money taxed?ROB: It should be. It should absolutely be taxed. And the question, the outstanding question still for us, since this is really new territory, is how is it going to be treated? If you're being compensated for your investment of data, is that being treated as income? Or is that data considered an asset that you're exchanging for an equivalent amount of value? My opinion is that it should be considered an asset, a form of capital, and that capital exchange for data notes represents an equivalent exchange that you would be…your cost basis would be the market value of data notes at that time.LISA: Right. And so if they go up them I'm taxed on the gain. ROB; That's right. LISA: When do you expect to go live with DATAVEST as an application?ROB: Right now we're planning within the next six to eight months a private beta or a closed beta to recruit the pioneer users of this application. We're planning our full launch to be shortly after that ,hopefully within nine to 12 months we'll have this, you'll be able to start making money from your data.LISA: An idea like this seems very disruptive to say Facebook. Why do you think of Facebook or Google or one of the other overlords wouldn't enter into this marketplace? What are their constraints doing something like this or do they have constraints?ROB: They do and I get this question a lot. It's well OK. You're doing this you're a small startup. You have these billion dollar platforms that you're potentially disrupting. What prevents them from doing the same thing. And their challenge is that they were started in a way that the incentives between their users and the shareholders of those companies aren't aligned. And so the more that a shareholder makes, the less money there is available to users to monetize. So if one of these platforms, all of a sudden Zuckerberg decided to kind of monetize data for his users rather than shareholders, what would happen is, well, he'd get sued I think.LISA: By the shareholders?ROB: Right. They've created a zero sum game where –a situation where one wins at the other's expense. And so we design DATAVEST to align the incentives between those who are funding our startup our platform that we're building and the users that are going to be creating the preponderance of value of the platform. When I bring up the idea of capitalized value of data, just meaning that this data is being priced based on its its future revenue that it potentially could generate, the mechanism that DATAVEST is using is, we're issuing a form of digital currency directly for the investment of data. Data is an asset. It's a strange asset but it's an investable asset. When you invest it, you want to be entitled to kind of the future revenue generating potential that it creates. So we're not tying it to how much capital you already have, how wealthy you are. Anyone can gain access to this and actually the only way to gain access to this is through providing this asset that doesn't cost you any money. It's just utilizing and benefiting you for the capital that you already have.LISA: So do you know who your target beta is going to be? Is it going to be a city? Is it going to be a certain demographic of people? Do you know that yet? ROB: Yes. So we're based out of Pasadena, California. And so we're actually working at my house in Altadena. We converted are barn into an office and we kind of have an urban ranch and horses and donkeys and chickens and it's kind of a fun corporate headquarters but we’ll probaby have to move soon. But you know it's been good while it lasted but so we're thinking Pasadena just maybe an interesting place. There was research done that Pasadena will be kind of representative of the demographics within the U.S. as a whole and I think it was like 15 to 20 years. So we think it's a would be a good kind of case study or a good place to do this. LISA: And you have a child, a two year old son?ROB: Yep yep turns two March 26.LISA: Well I have to ask you..you're pretty deep into this new technology, block chain and the token economies. Do you have any particular fears for your child as we move forward or are you optimistic?ROB: I guess if you kind of imagine all potential futures right now where we are, it's difficult. I don't wanna be negative but it's difficult to see one that is going to make sense or I'm going to be happy with for him and that's part of why I'm doing this is, you have four, really four companies that are as Jaron Lanier calls it the siren servers that are collecting all this information on all of us. And you know one worry and it's not it's not an irrational concern is that what happens when one of these companies develops a technology through using this data our data, big data is our data, and using that to develop A.I. They're using machine learning and when they get to a point where they're so far ahead of everyone else it's going to be very difficult to catch up. So I guess my concern is that they do kind of have a breakthrough in this area. It's going to be tough to kind of catch up with that technology for anyone else. And that's going to only be benefiting the same or tiny kind of small number of people.LISA: So it sounds like your approach at DATAVEST is very democratic and an opportunity to bridge the you know, we talk about the 1 percent. It sounds like that big divide could possibly be bridged if everyone gets compensated for their private data.ROB: That's exactly right. And and we get rid of this asymmetric information that’s of companies whether it's financial institutions or these Internet platforms that are kind of using our information against us that we think we have to take ownership over it and be entitled to kind of the value that it creates and have that be shared.LISA: What's coming up for DATAVEST in the future?ROB: If we imagine that enough of us sign up and decide to take ownership back of this information, this data, there's an opportunity that once you get to a critical mass, we're hoping we can sign up a million users within the first year, that at some point you don't want to be selling or brokering this data to third parties who are then benefiting making all the money essentially. So asset management firms, hedge funds, they’re they're big buyers of this type of data, that would be transaction data, geo-location data.They're kind of buying this up wherever they can get it. And it would make too much sense not to take that in-house. So we've come up with the idea, this is kind of our Second Stage part of this, that we could create a cooperatively owned hedge fund. And the interesting thing about a hedge fund is most people can never invest in one. But the ironic part I guess is that everyone can actually own a hedge fund company. And so there's an opportunity that we can cooperatively own this investment firm that is directly trading based on our information and we're directly benefiting from it. We would have all of that revenue driven back into the hands of the users. And it's almost the portfolio managers dream come true to have direct access and intel from individuals all across the world be able to look at the trends, of the change in demand, consumer purchases, even pose questions. And the interesting thing from an investment application is that the data value of some of the poorest people in the world is actually greater than the data value of individuals in the U.S. And so if we're only monetizing this data based on this advertising model, that would only benefit wealthier individuals. But what this does is anywhere there's anywhere there's asymmetric information a profit can be made and that profit, and there's less information and a lot of these frontier and emerging markets that we have the opportunity that any intel or any information they provide on prices that they're facing is essentially tradable information, that can that can return value to those individuals and put them on the map and give them a form of capital that they've never had.LISA: I know there's going to be a lot of interest in this. So is there a way that listeners can reach you or DATAVEST? Is there a website? ROB: Absolutely! Our website is DATAVEST.org and my email is Rob at DATAVEST dot org. There is a place where you can put your e-mail to kind of sign up to be one of the first users of this.LISA: Wow! thank you for being on Method to the Madness and once you launch, I'd love to have you back on. ROB: You'll be investing your data soon.LISA: I will be investing my data. Thank you.ROB: Thank you.OUTRO:You've been listening to Method to the

The Real Estate Hotline Lisa B From The Real Estate Hotline - Interview with Dr Geraldine Teggelove - Live Radio Show -  Uploaded to Let’s talk about real estate with Lisa B - itunes podcast. Hello everyone and welcome to Geraldine Teggelove live, yes I am Geraldine and I am so looking forward to sharing some more fabulous information and hints and tips and anything else that may help you to become a published author and enjoy the process.   Yes.. Over the last few weeks I've been chatting with some wonderful and highly successful authors I might say, and asking them to share with us all their secrets around writing and publishing.   Believe me, if you haven’t had a chance to listen to the previous shows in this series called publishing 101 and you're thinking about writing a book, then may I urge you to do so.  Because if you want to step out with your published book in hand, the information that you get from these gorgeous ladies, is just amazing. So woohoo.   Just imagine how you will feel when your book becomes a reality.    Now obviously there are ways of doing this that will be perfect for you.  Often though it's figuring out what this perfect way looks like and it's by listening to others that we can actually make informed choices and decisions and the authors that I’m chatting with during this series are sharing the most fantastic information, believe me.  And being totally open and honest and sharing with us what worked and what didn't and to me it only makes sense that if we are going to go to all the effort of writing and publishing our unique book, then we need to gather as much of this information as we possibly can before we start the process.   So everyone…. I'm so excited because my guest today is the highly successful author Lisa B, now let me tell you a little bit about this wonderful lady.   Lisa is a coach on demand, she's a speaker, trainer and serial entrepreneur who has owned numerous businesses since 1995. Lisa is also a mum so she knows and understands the pressure that today's world places on women,and their relationships both at work and in their day to day lives.  Now Lisa's had a varied career combining her two passions.   Yes two.  One is her long career in real estate and the other is her passion that she studied simultaneously and lived through, which is the topic of masculine and feminine energy - which is really big in today's world.  She’s written a number of books and has created online products, so might I suggest that we are in for a fabulous show today.   So without further ado as they say.. Welcome Lisa! Thank you very much, I'm so happy to be here.  This is a topic I love speaking about - books and products and business - so... thank you so much for having me. Oh it is my pleasure Lisa and you are sitting in sunny Brisbane, is that right? On the Gold Coast and it is sunny -  it's 13 degrees - we're not used to that here - I'm cold! My goodness Lisa I feel so sorry for you when we’re sitting in 6 degrees here. Oh I know..  2 days ago it was 20 something,  so it's a shock to our system - but we only get the cold weather for about 6 weeks or so, we are very lucky. That's great yes, well we'll just kind of suffer on.  Look it’s where we choose to live so we have to put up with the consequences don't we. Exactly. We have got so many things to talk to you about today and I hope you're ready for it and you've had your Weet-Bix for breakfast. I have so many questions for you. I hope you don't mind. No, no I'm ready!   Like you said I really want to share what has really worked for me but also what hasn't, because I did so much research before I published my books and so many things were conflicting and sometimes you really don't know what the right thing is to do.  So I really want to share my experiences both good and also what I learnt. That is just fantastic.  That Lisa, is exactly what I want to hear because yes what might be right for some, may not be right for others.  But I know today you are going to get the most amazing gems from Lisa that you can take with you.  When you're contemplating all this, you can make informed decisions. So Lisa could you start by sharing with our listeners some of the books that you've published, a little bit about those, so that we can get an idea of where you're coming from please. Sure, for  sure.  The first book that I was in was a compilation book.  My background is real estate.   So that was a compilation book that somebody else put together that I was invited to join, so that was with other successful real estate agents. That was a really good base and it gave me a good understanding of what being an author was like - also just seeing your name on the front cover of a book was such a great feeling.  Like..  I've finally got a book!    So that was called Real Estate Millionaire and I thought once I did that,  I really want a book in my own name now.   I actually wrote a book 10 years prior and that was about masculine and feminine energy and that's called Banish the Bitch and Bring out the Babe. I love the title Lisa - It says it all. Thank you.  It does!  It does!  I was very fortunate to have a lot to do with Tony Robbins and I joined his Platinum Partners program which was a very intimate program of only 50 people and we travelled the world with him for a year.  I think I spent 145 days of the year travelling, going to his seminars and it was amazing and that's where I was introduced to the topic of masculine and feminine energy.  It really made me question everything about ME,  because I was so business focused - I had my real estate office - I had 10 staff and I was only focused on work and nothing else - that was it and I really sort of understood how I was in my masculine energy and I couldn't switch off -  I didn't have any balance and I thought if I kept this going the way that I was,  I would end up having a heart attack.   So I really investigated that and lived through that and I wrote my book as I was making my transition if you like,  from learning about masculine energy -  to how to tap back into my feminine energy and how to have balance in my life again.   So that was something... and that's what writing a book does as well,  when you're writing down words and you think this is going to be published and other people are going to read these words - it has to be right.   You just can't make off handed statements.  You write a sentence then you say - actually is that right?   You know... it gets you to really question things and to learn so much more about yourself and other people…  and to ask questions. It really is part of the healing process isn't it? Oh it is, it is.  When I went to publish that book, I bought probably 10 books on self publishing because I thought I really want to self publish.  I really want to learn how to do this and I bought all these books and it just looked too hard.  So.. I put the book away for 10 years because it just looked too hard!   Seriously I just thought I don't even know where to go with this, I just don’t know what to do with this. It's too hard!   So I mean these days, it’s so much easier - you can upload it yourself online.  You can have ‘print on demand’ and all those sorts of things but I was overwhelmed and I think that's what help me being in the compilation book, seeing that it isn't as hard as what we can make it out to be.  That was kind of a blockage and that's something I would like to say to everyone listening…  If you have got a book, just do it.   Don't wait like I did for 10 years and put it aside... and it was only that somebody went to another Tony Robbins seminar and started talking about masculine and feminine energy and I said I actually wrote a book on that.  They said well I'd love to read it.  I said ok,  i will dig it up and I started reading it and I thought -  this is really good! I love it.   And then that inspired me to get it out there again and so you know, I'm really glad that they made those comments otherwise it would still be in the back of my computer somewhere. And probably the great part about it a topic like that is Lisa -  is that truth is truth - it doesn't matter what time we live in,  there is still that masculine and feminine energy. Absolutely, absolutely and as I said,  I was so focused and so ‘in my head’ about everything that I didn't let anyone in at all about anything.. It was awful and so yes it was really understanding  the balance and to understand that I can switch off, and you know,  be present where I am.. So that was a really an amazing realisation for me and I went to get books on the subject and I couldn't find anything that would help me.  That's why I knew I had to write my book, because there was nothing out there for me that would teach me what I needed to know - so that was my biggest drive,   to teach other women about this and get my message out there. Fantastic Lisa and that book went really well didn't it. Oh yes, yes fantastic!   Better than I thought and I can go into that more a little bit later if you like. Yes I'd love that. It went better than I thought and I probably should have done other things with it which I can go into later. The next book that I did was a book for my son actually, and that was a book where my mother actually wrote the book - (his grandmother)  so I did a book for them together.    I’ll let you in on a little secret,  Lisa is absolutely brilliant at marketing and shortly we will have a discussion around Lisa's way of publishing and I'm sure what she’ll share will be absolutely helpful and wonderful for you. I'm sure you can already tell that Lisa certainly has the experience and the know how to help you overcome any obstacles that you might have standing between you and writing your own book.   Lisa I'd love to hear about how you wrote a book with your son and then you had another book I think didn't you? Yes yes Let's hear about those My mother wrote a book for my nieces and nephews about 25 years ago and when she died about 12 years ago, on her deathbed I promised her that I would publish her book for her.  Then when I published my book Banish the Bitch and Bring out the Babe, my son asked if he could write a book too.   I thought that's a great idea and I thought I've got just the right book for him, so we did my mum’s poem.  My son contributed to the pictures,  he was with me with the design process and all that sort of thing, so now he has a published book with my mum.   So now he can call himself a published author at 9 years old. Timothy John and The Big Green Dinosaur. Wow what an experience!   It's great because if he says to me, mum, I want to buy this….. I say well how many books have you sold?   Go out there and sell some books.   So I'm trying to teach him as a business as well, that he can make money whenever he wants to.  He’s got a product there, he's got a website and he can do the marketing on YouTube, he can do whatever he likes.  I've loved teaching him about business at the same time, which has been great and it’s a legacy.   He never got to meet his grandparents so that's something now that connects him with his grandmother and it makes me nearly cry every time I think about it,  but it's something lovely for them to have together. Then the next book is one that I'm just about to launch -  that's called Secret Agents and that book is about online marketing which as you said before I just love marketing and that's what I'm really really good at.  It’s something that comes naturally to me in lots of ways,  but it's something that I've also studied a lot as well.  So Secret Agents is going to be launched very soon and that particular book is going to be more a lead in to my business which is the hotline business, which is the coach on demand business.  So I coach real estate agents on demand, they can ring me or email me if they've got objections or anything like that,  in the real estate field and I help them through those objections.  So this book is more like a lead in to my other business - it's not like something I'm going to actively want to make the book a business in itself, which I can go into later -  it's not my main business - so the book leads customers to my main business. And I think that's a great way of looking at your book because you know, being able to use that book as your business card, or calling card and as lisa said… as a lead into the other part of your business - it gives you so much credibility - so that's fabulous  - but Lisa we will going to that a little later,  but before we get to your marketing which I can't wait to hear myself because when they were handing out marketing skills Lisa,  I think they missed me in the line up most definitely.   I can help you. Good!! So I'd love to hear from you though before we get to that,  a little bit about your own personal experiences in the world of publishing and what worked and what didn't, so perhaps if we start there. Sure, I don't have any sort of negative experiences with publishing, I’ve really just got learnings.  I've got things that I've thought oh wow,  I probably should have done that a little bit different but that's the way you learn.  Or listening to others who have done what you want to do.   Having a book is just such an amazing achievement and it's something that you look back and you think wow,  I've got this book and people acknowledge you for that and I think it's something that I’d love to see everybody write a book.  Everybody's got a story, whether it’s about their work, their business, their life.   I just think it's such an amazing thing to do, but I have only ever self published and that's only because... I'm probably not lazy,  I wouldn't say lazy,  but probably impatient is what I would call myself, because if you want to get your book published,  that involves….., if I was going to get a book published - I would get an agent, I would get somebody who was going to go in and fight for me to publish and all that sort of thing,  but I was too impatient because I just wanted to get it out there and I wanted to get onto the next thing.    I'm with you there Lisa, definitely with you on that one.   And the other thing is that you don't know if your book is going to be successful - you really don't and it's not until you've actually published it or you get people to read it and you get proper feedback that you think ohhhhh  this probably would have went well with the publisher -  you know they say writing a book is like a comedian who tells a joke and and has to wait two years to see if it's funny. It's like writing a book - you write a book and you've got to wait all this time to see if anybody likes it.   That's something that you don't know until you get it out there,  so probably if I wasn't so impatient, I would have loved to have got an agent for Banish The Bitch.  I would have really focused on that,  but I didn't really want to make the time to do that. I wish I could have, for people out there that have got a great book,  you know it,  you believe it,  people have read it and loved it,  it's worth taking the time to do that..  I was just too impatient to get out there. A lot really depends Lisa and I'm not sure if you think like this too Lisa, it depends on what you want for your book.  Do you want your book to be standalone and successful or do you want it to be part of a bigger picture?   And that was my next thing, with Banish I would have taken the time, if I would have been more patient, that’s something I would have done,  But for my next book Secret Agents, no.. I don't have any intention of wanting to get that with a publisher.   It’s a lead in to my business,  which is something - a business card,  it's my introduction, it’s my values, it’s my information that when real estate agents read it, they're going to want to know more.  And then I've got my online course, I've got my coaching and all of those other things that I've got and can provide and help them with.   That is my lead in,  so it's really two types of books and two different things - it's completely different. Yes understand completely -  and so I guess you followed your own rules and all that sort of thing as you went through it. Yes and all my marketing all that sort of thing, and some of the things that didn't work for me was…  do you know fiverr,  so when I first went to do my book I got a mockup cover on fivver and it was hideous and I persisted. It was hideous, hideous, hideous.. I just didn’t like any of them, and I thought this is ridiculous and I ended up getting a professional to do the book cover, which your book cover is everything.   And also, so  is the internal of your book.   I went to do it on fivver and it was just like a bad word document - You want to prevent your book as lovely as you can and my books I'm just so proud of how the lady I ended up getting has presented my book.  It's just beautiful - you open up the book and it's just lovely.. so much more attractive than a word document and that's what I would have had if I'd of gone with the fiverr option.    I'm sure there are good ones out there on fiverr, but I just think don't skimp on the quality of your book and don’t skimp on the cover and the layout  - it's got to be good and it's got to be attractive.   And you're representing you.  This is really representing you in the world of business and in the professional world, so I completely understand Lisa,  If you pick up something,  you want it to really be a reflection of you - so most definitely. Absolutely, then the other things that I learnt was about publishing the books itself, so I've got my books on Ingram Sparks which is print on demand, so you can order your books in bulk, you can order 100 copies or 500 copies - or you can go on and order one copy. It’s print on demand - so that was something I preferred to have control of.   There are some people that publish books and they can get a really cheap price say in China or something and they can get them at  a couple of dollars a book and it's a lot cheaper but you have to buy in bulk.   So you might have to get 1000 books and they're in your bedroom until you sell them or get rid of them.   You might get a cheaper deal at the time, but the problem happens when you need to change something.  I've changed my book already -  soooo many times.  I've put a sentence in that I've thought no…..,  I want to take that one out or change it. I've got the capability and the control of doing that with the way that I've got it now on Ingram Sparks and Amazon.   If there's something I want to change I can.   For example if I want to change the cover I can.   I can change whatever I want  -  I don't think oh I can't… I've got a thousand books in my back bedroom that are now wrong.   It's something that you can change, you can adjust you can add to it and I found that it's a lot better for me.  Even though it might cost more, you've got more control. Yes and look I know having a bit to do with publishing houses and things for me that was the defining moment that I wanted this book to be me,  not just fitting into a certain genre that the publishing house decided would be best.    So I totally see where you are coming from Lisa,  to be able to have that control to do with your book what you want to do.. You can change things up and change things around  - is wonderful. Lisa and I'll give you a little time to think about this -  I'd really like to know about Marketing - because so many marketing companies out there offer you the world and then end up giving you nothing basically.  Being honest here…  so really interested to hear from the best in the business about how to go about marketing.   If you have just joined us,  this is the 5th show in this series called publishing 101 and today international best selling author Lisa B is sharing her expertise with us and what fabulous information it is. I think I mentioned on last weeks show, I would have given anything to have had other authors tell me what worked and what didn't before I stepped into the publishing arena.   Now if you've found this information extremely helpful,  and you would like to and if you'd like to listen to the complete series, you can download them for free from iTunes.  Just search Geraldine Teggelove Live podcast or you can go to www.toginet.com to listen and download from my show page. You can also find them on my website at www.geraldineteggelove.com.au - so lots of places you can go, where you can go back and listen to what certain authors have told you.  Now Lisa,  we've got some big things to get into here but so i don't forget,  because I get carried away here on these interviews sometimes - I'd love to know Lisa where we can actually find your books and where we can find you - have you got particular places that you could give to us.   Sure there's my website which is www.lisab.com.au - That's not a hard one except for the .au on the end  - everyone  - in Australia we have dot com dot au.   And a good one to follow me on his Instagram as well,  because people that are looking to market their book - I'm just about to launch a new book say in the next week or two - It will be beneficial for your listeners to see what I do there and how I go about marketing on Instagram.   I find Instagram really good and I'll explain what I do with that but my Instagram account is lisab_ therealestatehotline_   That would be where they can get some real life book marketing examples from.    Fantastic Lisa,  that sounds wonderful and I will put that on my show page and on my website everyone so,  if you haven't got your pen handy you'll be able to find them - and the website is an easy one -  www.lisab.com.au   So Lisa let's get into the whole marketing side of things and how you went about all of that. Ok well I repurpose everything.  So, everything I do,  I think of another way that I can put it out there.  Whether it's a blog post,  whether it's a video..  whatever it is... if I've got one piece of content I look for where I can put that - on 10 different avenues.  Or where  I can use that one piece of content 10 times.  So that's what I'm always looking at.   I just don't do one thing and then put it away -  it’s how can i compile it.  If I do a video, then I'll do a compilation video - I'm getting a little bit of head of myself but it's using all of the avenues for you.  So I have a podcast, so I can have all of my content on the podcast - so I'm speaking to people or if I'm doing interviews or I'm just doing a tutorial or something -  I've got the podcast.  From from that podcast,  I can do a transcript of it, which becomes a blog post, which becomes a post on my social media channels -  so for one thing and one podcast -  I'm looking for how I can put that in many different ways.   So with the podcast,  I always also do a video. So one podcast I've now got into 4 different mediums and then on all of the different things put onto Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter,  Instagram, my website,  YouTube… everything!! So the podcast is one where it's a great thing to repurpose into many different ways so that's one thing is a podcast… so then obviously you've got the book which your marketing.. and telling people you've got the book… and putting photos everywhere of your book and create a hype on Facebook about your book coming up…You know getting interaction and asking people what cover looks best A, B or C?   Getting people interested in and knowing that your book is coming out, so that's a good thing as well and as I said your blog - so you’re promoting yourself through your blog,  your promoting your book through your blog,  whichever way you want to do that…  you've got the blog,  you've got the videos so YouTube - YouTube videos.   Can I interrupt there please Lisa, so when you say your YouTube videos, are you talking about the book or are you explaining what the books about… what are you doing there? Anything.  Anything. As I said, from the podcast I make a video.  It could be tutorials it could be anything. It could be something you've mentioned in the book, it could be information, it could be advertisements for the book, it could be…. geez I've got so many different kinds of videos.  A friend of mine wrote a song and so now I have a song that is my ‘books song’ so now I've got a dedicated song for my book  - a theme song.   So that's one of my videos as well and then you've got your website which is where you are promoting your book all through your website - so you've got… and with your book, you can have your opt in on your website,  you can have either a free audiobook as an opt-in, so that you’re collecting your list..  so there's lots of things you can do,  or you can offer say two or three three chapters of your book as an opt-in -  so again you're collecting a list of people that you can then market too if they haven't bought your book -  you can market to them about different things or if you're up selling to something else.  Then say Instagram, you've got photos and memes and things like that but you can do,  because it's not always about just promoting your book - you don't want to be going out there - my book,  my book,  my book, my book - people are going to get sick of you an unsubscribe -  so it's all about giving information and giving content and showing them who you are - and getting the like know and trust factor from people - is a massive thing as well so it's not always about the book -  it's also about other things that you're doing that they can relate to - it's about teaching them something.   And it is a lot about creating that trust isn't it, because people these days want to be able to trust you before they will buy from you or connect to you. Big time.   Big time.  Because with the online world, you don't know who's genuine and who’s not - it's an awful thing to say but who is really doing what they say they're doing? If you're following someone and sometimes I follow someone for 12 months before I really think - these people are somebody that I want to learn from and I want to buy their product - it might take you that long to really build that trust of somebody - so you know I think it's important to show people who you are and what your beliefs are as well as your products. And then social media is just amazing for promoting your book from Facebook,  LinkedIn,  Twitter, Instagram…  I try not to go to spread myself too thin on those mediums because otherwise you can be a master of none. I was going to say do you follow the the advice of sticking to one or two big time and really see what works for you which one works best for you is that what you do Lisa? Yes definitely,  I find Facebook really works for me.  I have Facebook groups and they are fantastic - they're like private real estate groups which I just love!  The are very interactive and I get a lot of comments and questions and that's amazing.  I really love that and just my personal Facebook page as well.   I have a lot of real estate agents that I connect with there because my main focus is real estate with my business,  so my personal Facebook page is something that gives me a lot of clients. People get to see what you’re like and relate to you and things like that -  LinkedIn I don't use a lot even though I do have a lot of followers and I do get a lot of business from there, I don't post a lot on there. I have got my profile on there and i’ve got a lot about myself which people then will look up.  Linkedin is like a resume-  I treat Linkedin a little bit like a resume - but if you are doing  business-to-business a lot of people do really love LinkedIn.  Twitter I don't do a lot but what I put on my Facebook business page goes automatically on to Twitter - so I've got a presence on there but it's not something that I focus on.  Instagram I love.   I absolutely love Instagram and I do get a lot of business from Instagram as well - so my two favorites are Facebook and Instagram and that's what works for me. And if they'd stop changing all the algorithms Lisa,  it would make it a lot easier wouldn't it. I know and that's why Instagram is great now, so get in and use it before they do change of the algorithms again.  Because Facebook -  I had a Facebook page which went really well and I got a lot of interaction and then one day it just switched off - it was like Facebook unless you were buying ads - it just went off and so then I started a group - a Facebook group which is really working for me.   So you're testing out things to see what is going to work best for you,  is that right Lisa? Yes for sure. I found because my market and my clients are real estate agents and  we talk about problems that we've had in real estate with clients, or getting deals together or whatever it maybe, so it needed to be in a group - because they're not going to share something like that on a public page. So if you're dealing with something where people and not going to want to share publicly,  then maybe a group might be a better option and that's what I found.  I tried really hard with my pages to get interaction and I was thinking why isn't this going as well as what I thought.. and then it clicked.  It’s really something you have to test.  The groups work for me for a lot better.  You can discuss what they're comfortable with and what they’re comfortable sharing. Keep an eye on what’s working and what doesn't - if it doesn't work,  there’s got to be a reason. Lisa if you have some more information about marketing, that would be fantastic. I mean to say what would life be like if we didn't have books to read.  I don't know about you or Lisa but for me I'm sure I couldn't survive. It just wouldn't happen, all that wonderful information, inspiration and everything else that I couldn't lay my hands on and the learnings that would never take place.  I really just don't want to think about it. I'm sure you'll agree Lisa wouldn't you.   Oh for sure. As they say it's like a University on Wheels for audio books -  that's my university on Wheels - my books.  I find Audible just amazing.  Being busy I want to read and I don't get the time to read a physical book,  so for me the audible books are just amazing and when I do get the chance to sit down and read a book I just love it.   I mean there's nothing like reading a physical book. So have you turned your book into an audible book yet Lisa? Yes, I haven't done audible only because apparently Australians we're not allowed to have audible yet,  so it's something that I've looked into having someone else read it out for me on audible - it has to be an American citizen with an American bank account - so I've actually read my book out and I've got it as an audio, but I've just got it on my website, housed on my website. So on my website people can opt in to get my audiobook free.  That's my lead ins.  So I haven't done it perfect but it's like,  I'm not going to let perfect get in the way of getting it done.  I just wanted to have my audiobook there and it's there and I'll look at upgrading that later and whatever..  it was just something I wanted to have there if people are busy and they can't read a physical book. And that's why I love podcasting because you can listen to it no matter where you are. You can be driving along in the car and I travel some fairly big distances and it's just so fabulous to have it so everyone remember Lisa has told you a number of times you can go to her website and opt in to listen to her book.  So I think  I'll be doing that as well. It's such a fabulous offer Lisa, Well in saying that, my book is all about how to position yourself as the expert -  now it is tailored to real estate agents but it really is for any business.  So anybody listening to this will actually get a lot out of that book because it's marketing 101 - it's everything from social media to video marketing to…  it's everything marketing-  the book is actually marketing. Lisa I'm just stunned, you are offering this for free on your website and that was going to be one of my questions…  is your book, you know what you’re offering… can we kind of transpose that into any other business that we might be running and obviously we can. I read a book about 25 years ago and it was called benchmarking and it was a book about how business strategies.   It was looking at businesses similar to your own and looking at what they're doing and looking at what you're doing and can you put any of the procedures into your business?   That was something I did,  I was in real estate and I looked at a travel agent and I thought it's kind of a little bit similar..  not really but kind of and I looked at some of the procedures they did and it really made me look at my business and business models in general so that was my first experience of really looking at business models and that was something when I study Internet marketing and I spent a fortune on online courses.  The best online marketers and read books and did everything with the vision of how can I apply this into real estate - so I watch what Frank Kern did with his clients and thought how can a real estate agent do this with their clients?  How can a real estate agent do what they're doing.. to make it successful and so I had a real estate office at the time and so I did all of those things.  I did the free books I did video marketing.  Everything the online marketers were doing that was successful and put it into my real estate office and then real estate agents started ringing me and asking me… how do I do this and how do I do that and why did you do this?   So then I thought wow, I've got to create an online product, I've got to write a book.  There's a market here because people don't know how to do this. I’ve sort of taken it for granted in lots of ways but I've also learnt it.  So...  I put all the information into a step by step process.   My book is actually a checklist - it's got boxes that you can check off -  you can say yes I've done this or you can come back and do it later.   It explains what to do,  it explains why you need to do it and as I said you can check it off.    So it really is everything I know about marketing - and you can put that into your own business as far as taking it and running with it - so then you can say you have your book - think how do I then take that and cross it over into my business and that's a question we should always be asking. If a business is successful what can I do to make my business just as successful as theirs?   That is just fantastic Lisa and I understand completely, to be able to take all that information and put into your own business - regardless of what business you're in. There will definitely be 90% of what Lisa is explaining and teaching you in her book that you can bring into your own business.   So my suggestion is that you go to www.lisab.com.au and have a look at that book.   Now Lisa time is just ticking down. Geraldine - It's gone so quick! Time just goes so quick when girls get together to chat. I was just going to say….. some of the things that I would like to say to people is that as I said….  I waited 10 years to publish my book and I just can't believe that I put it away for that long and did nothing with it,  so I would  just like to say, get it back out if you put a book away - get it back out have a look at it -  make some changes, adjust and whatever -  if you haven't written a book a big tip that I can give is Google Drive/ Google Docs -  that's how I've written all of my books - I've just got my Google App - opened a Google document on my phone it's also synced with my phone and my computer.   Then I came up with my title - I've got  my title page on my Google Docs then  I separated each into chapters -  chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3,  Chapter 4.  I worked out kind of the flow of the book of what I wanted to say -  The introduction,  the different lead ins of how your book is going to be organised.  Then each chapter you write those headings at the front of the chapter and then wherever you are.  you can start to write your book.   My son does karate and for 5 hours a week while  he's at karate and I'm watching him, I get onto my phone or computer and start writing my book - while I'm watching my son do karate.  Or while I’m waiting for an appointment or if someone's 10 minute late.  I will just go in and write my book.   You don't get writer's block that way,  you're actually organising as you go and the great thing about Google Docs is that you can talk into it and do speech to text.  So you can press a button and you can just talk and the book writes for you.  Google Docs writes it for you, so you don't even have to type it in.   Technology is just amazing isn't it, so many things that we can do, so there's no excuse really is what you're saying. Another little tip that you can do, is once you have a podcast you can play that podcast back into your Google Docs and it can transcribe it for you.  You might have to make a few little changes but you can do your own transcripts.  Does that make sense? Yes It is so fantastic because otherwise what you have to do is listen to a bit of the recording,  stop and then listen to a bit more - you just play the audio into your Google Docs and it types it all out - and you have your transcript. So… just create a Google Docs and start writing - you might see something else that gives you inspiration,  something that you can write about, or a link to a website that somebody tells you about that is similar to your book -  put it in that document.  Put everything in that document and then you can go back and research - it's such a great way of doing it. I just absolutely love Google Docs.   I do everything on Google Docs. Everything is so easy to find -  you can put photos,  videos and all sorts of different things in there and it's your book!!  It's your focus when you log on! And I love the idea that you can do all that when you're out and about and because a lot of the time you're inspired when you're out and about - ideas come to us at the most inconvenient times so we can actually go in, or even just record those ideas on your phone.  I quite often do that too, just press record on my phone and I'm chatting away and people just think you're on the phone so that's ok. Now Lisa,  it's time for us to finish the show.  We are counting down here.   So Lisa I wanted thank you so much for being with us today.  It has just been fantastic and so much information in such a short amount of time.  I really appreciate your time,  effort and energy for being here so thank you. It just went so quick I can't believe it! Time Goes fast when you're having fun. Everybody you can visit Geraldine Teggelove Live for the recording of this week's show and we’ll be getting it out there so you won't miss it. I'm the meantime,  a million blessings of Peace, Love and wonderful success. Bye for now by Lisa. Dr Geraldine Teggelove - website Dr Geraldine Teggelove - radio interviews

Lisa Orkin feat. Jennifer Vally I admit that this episode is ripe with name dropping, and might not be very deep. But it was good to talk to someone who I feel is a contemporary of mine as well as someone who was in the same shoes.  Ye Olde News starring Robbie Rist as Benjamin Franklin We've known each other at least 20 years. We met at LA Cabaret. "We were both young mothers who wanted to be comedians." - Lisa "I had so much more energy when I had little kids to get me up on stage" - Lisa "If my butt can stick out farther than my belly, I'm good." - Lisa Trying to find contemporaries. Young brunette mothers. Not a lot of women in the comedy venues. We felt like we were pretty unusual. "Will you drive me to my gig? I'll let you be my opening act" - Jennifer on how she got her first paid comedy gig. "You get up when it's dark, don't you?" - Jennifer  Thinking about doing Roast Battle at the Comedy Store Jennifer was in theatre when she was growing up, moved and did some summer theatre, then moved to LA and did sketches and got into comedy. "You couldn't get on stage unless you wrote something for yourself" - Jennifer on being a woman in sketch theatre. "I know what's funny now, it's a science" - Lisa "I'm not sure I know why people laugh, but I know what will make them laugh." - Lisa "I speak with my ex too. We have kids!" - Jennifer We got more done when we had little kids. FYI to the millenials, kids do not change your lifestyle. "I had a cleaner house and I got way more done" - Lisa Babs - Our dear Babs. A woman in her 40s when we were young comediennes. She had children and she was a comic and writer all along. Contemporaries: Maria Bamford , Zach Galifianakis, Chelsea Handler, Heather (Chelsea's writer) "I felt like I couldn't compete because I was a mom" - Lisa Don't sleep with comics. Even if you're the opposite sex, there's still the competitive vibe.  Going pee outside, trying not to pee on my shoes. Tree People - bathrooms that are dark because of motion sensor lights. Being safe in a creepy neighborhood, keep a frying pan in your car. Can you bury your pets just anywhere? "Cremate me and sprinkle me at fryman or the shoe department..." - Lisa, after I die. "I will not shop in stores where I don't believe in their practices." - Jennifer not macy's too! And bed bath and beyond. "I wanted an instapot, but I guess I'll just get it off amazon" - Lisa "Amazon prime is like my boyfriend" - Lisa We went to the women's march!  Marla Maples - more beautiful in person, still!  Favorite signs at the women's march "Keep abortions safe and legal Trump / ABORT TRUMP" "Without immigrants, Trump would have no wives" Hollywood is such a small world, but not even within Hollywood. Weirdest connections. Pregnant by choice, photoshoot pregnant with an american flag. "The reluctant madonna" I want to do comedy again, but I don't want to jump through the hoops, I've already done that. Set List Auditioning for America's got talent, like they wanted her to have a gimmick. Wanted her to be a grandmother, feeling pigeon holed as a woman in a certain between age stage. VERBAL RORSCHACH!  Taco - Tuesday Table - Top Love - Hate Beans - Cheese Sushi - Stinky Grass - Smoke Forest - Trees Horse - Hair Bucket - Pail Do you have a bucket list? No. How long is her bucket list? It makes it sounds like she's dying! "Well I did that, I'm done now" - Lisa about her grandfather What's your favorite bush? Barbara. Of all the bushes, she's better than an Oleander. How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. 4. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 5. Right under the show description, you’ll see three tabs. “Ratings & Reviews” is the second one listed, and this is the one you want to click on. 6. On that page, there should be a button called “Write A Review” and if you click there, it will hopefully let you create a post with your thoughts! From your iPhone: 1. Open the “podcast” app that comes pre-installed on all current apple smartphone devices. 2. In the lower right-hand corner, you’ll click on the magnifying glass “search” button and type in “marriage is funny”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 4. Select the “reviews” tab toward the top of the screen, and you’ll see a purple “Write a Review” button on the next page. 5. It might ask you to log in to your iTunes account, but otherwise, this will open a form where you can enter your thoughts!    

Lisa is the mother of a two year old foster child, and she is in the process of petitioning for adoption. She was also an emergency foster parent for two other children this summer. She talks to me about why she decided to become a foster parent, and why she doesn't want to be called anything but a mother.

Your life is completely different. Even than that person you thought was you. Amy Wright and The Drunk Mom She took a bunch of business courses, and nothing ever happened for her. She kept at it because she thought she was supposed to. "Hustle More!" She ran herself into the ground for 7 years trying to make it work. She is raising a teenager, and trying to be a perfect parent. Why isn't anything working out? She snapped 5-6 months ago, wasn't enjoying what she'd done in her life lost her mind. "You know what would be really cool? Cause I'm a genius!" - Amy She told her husband she wanted to make videos about all the things moms do but don't want to talk about. He was worried for the kids sake, but then she just went ahead and made the videos. She didn't tell her husband for months. "I don't want to die with any regrets" - Amy The videos were extremely well received, and she said her first step was to make a facebook page with videos she thought were totally hilarious. She hit 5000 likes within a few weeks, and her previous business page was torture. People loved this. She gets emails from people who were having a hard time with their kids and lives. The way I went viral, Share Ross, told her facebook live would grow her page fast. No regrets, let's do this! She locked herself in her bathroom, sitting on the toilet talking about real life. "The time I shit my pants and the story of imperfection." We are cautious about what we put online, sometimes its really scary. Did I just put very real stuff out there? 26000 followers in three months. It's crazy. People love that its real life, and it makes them feel normal. She shared how nasty her car was after driving the kids around for a few days. My husband had a barbie shoe stuck to his butt. The one that went viral: shit my pants drunk dancing gas station blocking diagram Not doing anything but creating, not marketing anymore. Amy had a baby when she was young. Invited on a talk show, not really what she wanted to be doing, but it was a step in the right direction. Now she just looks like s sad drunk mom on this show they ask her. People fall down, it's so much more entertaining. Where did we get the idea that we shouldn't show our imperfections? - Lisa "That shit has been communicated so long" Amy on expectations of moms to hide their imperfections. "We feel like it's our fault if everything's not perfect." - Amy "We live in this hidden society" - Lisa My boyfriend covering up his farts with the coffee grinder. "when you're not your true self, you just get depressed" - Lisa "I'm not a huge fan of rejection." - Amy How did your husband not find out? He's fairly busy and they have 5 collective kids. Once things got going, and she got comfortable stepping into the role of playing honestly. "I have this gut feeling, you can call it appalling or whatever, but I can't settle for a 9 to 5 job. I can't ignore the fact that I'm somewhat entertaining. I can't continue to push that down and ignore it, and not share my god given gift with the world." Raised by hippies. Bong on the coffee table, mirror and straw and razor. Successful parents, but very loving and accepting of people. It was just normal life for me. Trying to communicate two different worlds into one. "I've never been able to work for somebody" - Lisa on never being able to keep a job. There's more than going somewhere you hate every day. She doesn't know if it will ever make sense to her husband. Unless its raking in the dough. Just making something and putting it out there has just turned into something amazing! "If you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing it will be hard, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing it will be easy." She will make several videos a day when she sets aside time. She comes up with these ideas in her shower and keeps the ideas in an app on her phone. She films in her laundry room. She edits her own videos still because she wants to make sure it comes out the way she means for it to. "Until I know my standards, I really can't delegate that out." - Amy Live streams as much as possible whenever she feels like it. She talked to her kids about what she was doing so they wouldn't be surprised or embarrassed. She started with her oldest. She explained to her kids how it will help people. "I want my kids to see my following a path that's something I want to do. I want them to see me being fucking brave!" - Amy Somebody let a man with a foot fetish into my show. He was groaning while I was barefoot on stage. Amy wants to hire someone to go through and delete all the horrible comments. That's the first thing she will delegate when she can hire someone else. People making shitty comments "you're a terrible excuse for a mother" nasty things, and stalking those mean people!  "You're not going to come in my living room and take a shit and leave. i'm gonna smear your face in it first, and then i'll escort you out the front door" - Amy Folding the fitted sheet- first video she ever published!  "I see other people's linen closets and i'm like, I don't get it" - Lisa Wanting to take control of all the things you should be doing, vs. doing what you do.  Share Ross- amazing, living as her real self.  "It was going to rock the boat too much, it was more change than i was willing to make at the moment." -Amy I never wanted to perform again after my boyfriend showed up at a show where I totally talked about him.    Dinner: Dead or Alive OPRAH!!!! Oprah came from some serious shit. More deplorable shit than any of us can imagine. She over came it as a black woman in the United States, struggled with her weight-- over and over and over again. "I love her resilience--it'd be Mama O!"  How do you imagine your death? It's part of life... I always thought I would die young, it's always been the driving factor in life. "perceived as untimely." I want a funeral that is packed full and I don't want it to be solemn. Rocking music, play the jack in the box over the casket. "I don't want to leave this world without making a huge impact, is the bottom line" Asshole grandparents. Dealing with the different generation and time in history. Amy asks, "When did your pubes start to turn grey?" Lisa replies: Skunk stripe early on. Then I died it. why. Then I vajazzled. Pube sisters!  Lazer your chin hairs while they're black! The white ones won't be lazered! full pubic growth - bob ross - Amy Orgasm loss around peri-menopause " I'm going to be a fucking bitch for a while" -Amy Verbal Rorschach horse - rider taco - vagina electricity - lightening peanut butter - silly jeans - really tight love - heart deer - in the headlights chinese food - cat brave - Merida clothespin - laundry open door - open door policy from corporate days What's your favorite bush? My bush!!!!!! BobRooohhhh    How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. 4. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 5. Right under the show description, you’ll see three tabs. “Ratings & Reviews” is the second one listed, and this is the one you want to click on. 6. On that page, there should be a button called “Write A Review” and if you click there, it will hopefully let you create a post with your thoughts! From your iPhone: 1. Open the “podcast” app that comes pre-installed on all current apple smartphone devices. 2. In the lower right-hand corner, you’ll click on the magnifying glass “search” button and type in “marriage is funny”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 4. Select the “reviews” tab toward the top of the screen, and you’ll see a purple “Write a Review” button on the next page. 5. It might ask you to log in to your iTunes account, but otherwise, this will open a form where you can enter your thoughts!

Shannon Bobo I really just think if I have her close to me for 50 minutes, then I can grab some of that youthful exuberance, that vivaciousness, that positive feeling that it will stick to me like glue..   "I just have this zest for life, I guess. It's not always easy, I can tell you that. It's a choice. A moment by moment choice" - Shannon "Unless you're about to fly me somewhere or pay me something, you don't need to know how old I am" - Shannon Did stand up for youth christian highschool kids, no wonder she felt she didn't do so well. Why we don't really care if our family and friends come out to see our stand up. Shannon is live streaming comedy for sonicbox up to seven hours, daily. Not porn-actually! People listen all day at work, and she's actually developing a fan base. This video "The Struggle is Real" about online dating! "I don't believe in god outside of us" - Shannon on asking for energetic help when she needs it. She grew up in a non-denominational christian church with gospel and shaming, "Beat you up type church." It felt so wrong to her that the pastor was driving a Cadillac from multiple passings of the collection plat--and the toilets in the church didn't flush. "In order to not feel bad about all the wrongs all the time, we have to make fun of it to ourselves"-Lisa Shannon was way more interested in having intelligent conversations with the grown ups and they were always telling her to get out and play. She came to LA to be an actor, but didn't believe it could be a practical career for her, so she worked in casting. "I will make the rules in life as long as it's kindness" - Lisa "I'm learning about myself, by who I want to be around" - Shannnon "What is it about me, that I see in him?" - Shannon It's not necessary to be the broke actor, casting is such a weird crap shoot, you can't get caught up in it because it's a numbers lottery. "If the job is yours, it was always yours. If you didn't book it, it was never yours." - Shannon "I never let one thing be my source." Shannon on moving on when her jobs weren't working out. Shannon grew up half in Evanston, IL  "Moral-Obama-Black sort of thing, street but sweet" - Shannon "I think all my high school friends who thought I was weird think I'm cool now"- Lisa + Shannon She followed her boyfriend to college in Madison, and he broke up with her right before school started! Last boyfriend was a minister of new thought, old wisdom and was super manipulative. After they were together for 3-4 years, he turned around and said something completely different. Manifesting manipulation: Trump seems pretty happy with all his money, even though he does horrible things. Online dating doesn't work for us. "They are always much shorter than they say" but it's okay because her friends fix her up all the time. The Four Man Plan by Cindy Lewis - That book did not work for Shannon. It was way too much work, even though getting the date wasn't the hard part. "He tried to kiss me and I wanted to throw up" - Shannon on dating against your type and forcing it. "So do you think he was farting out of anger?" - Lisa "You don't want me, and I'm good with that- I want everyone in the whole world to like me, and that is bad." - Lisa "I don't feel bad at all, cause I dodged the bullet" - Shannon on guys being mean after she turns them down. "If someone doesn't like you, it has everything to do with them, nothing to do with you" - Shannon Dinner with: Beyonce "Even Beyonce gets cheated on" - Lisa "No one is exempt" - Shannon from real life pain, like cheating. Judd Apatow telling her a sarcastic "Good luck with that." Re: stand up, lit the fire under her. "I gave up fighting for things that aren't mine" - Shannon The sheer will to live life fully expressed - where does that come from? Rough childhood and knowing the most horrible things have happened already. When everything is full of love and like a dream, it makes her feel like "I want the experience of having a husband and child" - Shannon When her best friend got married, she wasn't jealous, but she saw the beauty of her love and wanted it for herself. After the farting guy, she just decided not to date. That's a real talent, he should be on america's got talent. PSA to men with farty cars - open the windows. "Passive aggressive farting is not something you want in a relationship" - Lisa How are you going to die? Old age, just not waking up one day. "Par for the course of being Jewish is that you just think a lot about how you're going to die. And you think whenever anything in your body hurts, its because you're dying. It's the Woody Allen Syndrome." - Lisa Verbal Rorschach yellow - happy bluebird - joy toast - ew! love - I can't wait to find the one giggles - you keep making me giggle eyebrows - oh they better be on point all the time! paris - that's where I want to go next year, I can't wait to visit by myself sombrero - back to Mexico Chinese food - hot and sour soup pizza - gluten free jewels - LOVE color - always a splash of color mountains - can't wait to climb as many of them as possible     How to leave a love note on iTunes for Honestly Lisa Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. 4. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 5. Right under the show description, you’ll see three tabs. “Ratings & Reviews” is the second one listed, and this is the one you want to click on. 6. On that page, there should be a button called “Write A Review” and if you click there, it will hopefully let you create a post with your thoughts! From your iPhone: 1. Open the “podcast” app that comes pre-installed on all current apple smartphone devices. 2. In the lower right-hand corner, you’ll click on the magnifying glass “search” button and type in “marriage is funny”. 3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead. 4. Select the “reviews” tab toward the top of the screen, and you’ll see a purple “Write a Review” button on the next page. 5. It might ask you to log in to your iTunes account, but otherwise, this will open a form where you can enter your thoughts!