Birds In A Tree

Lacey is a supermom. She won't tell you that, but she is. Knowing she wanted to be a mother, and realizing at 25 that she might not be on a traditional route to motherhood, Lacey decided to explore foster parenting. After completing the training, Lacey received a call at four in the morning that changed her life. She is now the mother of six girls who are all biological sisters. We talk in this episode all about becoming a foster parent and an adoptive parent, mustering the courage to have empathy for biological parents who cannot care for their children, and her late night conversations that have altered the course of her life. 

Kaitlin is raising her son Oliver and navigating a co-parenting relationship with her ex-wife. Kaitlin admits that although after five years of marriage she thought that they both wanted to have a baby, however in hindsight feels as though her ex-wife wasn't fully prepared to make such a major life change. Now the two navigate a co-parenting relationship together and try to make Oliver the main focus of their decisions.

Ingrid and her partner have one son and live in Canada. Ingrid admits that she never really thought she wanted to be a mother, but when the feeling hit she couldn't think of anything else. Their journey to parenthood is its own great story and makes the bonds of a family even more special. Giving birth in Canada, Ingrid says that through their publicly funded healthcare system, they never see a medical bill. Not even when their newborn son had a health scare, the cost of the NICU and treatment were taken care of. We talk about the differences between America and Canada, why she is happy to raise her son in a country that values the resources that help new parents, and the sadness of watching her home country grapple with issues that are valued and taken care of in her adopted home.

Melissa and her husband have always had a love of the outdoors. As avid climbers, hikers, bikers, skiers, and campers, they are now raising a daughter to love these activities as much as they do. Even though Melissa admits they can't be as extreme as they were before children, they are giving their daughter every opportunity to cultivate her own love of nature and activity and that gives them the opportunity to enjoy what they love as a family. 

Fern is the mother two boys, one of whom has autism. Fern admits that because her son didn't fit into a typical autism mold - he made eye contact, loved to cuddle - she didn't believe that he could be autistic. However, as months passed and doctors, friends, and family asked more questions, Fern had a long conversation with herself and realized that she needed to face any diagnosis head on and without anymore denial. She said that was the moment that the fear went away and they began to seek treatment for her son. We talk all about what it's like to notice changes in your child and when it becomes clear to seek help, how to unclench as a parent and begin to enjoy the life of parenting, and the difficulty of putting aside your own interests when you are fully engulfed in parenting.  

Veronica is the mother of two sons and has been sober from alcohol and drugs for over 17 years. As a licensed therapist and recovery coach, Veronica has spent most of her adult life working with others to maintain their sobriety. Veronica has written two popular books on the subject - Why You Drink And How To Stop: Journey To Freedom and Get Sober For Free: Your Practical Guide. She also conducts lectures and workshops on alcoholism, addiction, and spirituality. We talk all about parenting in sobriety, how to talk to your children about addiction, and the freedom sobriety brings to life. You can find Veronica at www.veronicavalli.com, on Twitter at @veronicavalli, and on Facebook at Veronica Valli Soberful. 

Melissa and her husband have one son, Miles, and have decided that they are a one-child family. What makes her choice to have one child interesting is that Melissa is one of six sisters - born eight and a half years apart. Melissa and her sisters have always had a unique bond - and even though they live all over the country, they have stayed the best of friends. Tragically, their mother passed away when they were teenagers, and as they have become parents they have tried to keep her memory alive in their children. We talk about parenting after the loss of a parent, what being a teacher means when you are a mother, and what having a son is like after living with so many women.  

Katie and her husband are raising two children, and have spent their careers are professional classical working musicians. Meeting in college, they both knew that they would be moving and traveling as part of their work. Now that they are raising children, she feels fortunate to surround the kids with classical music and talented musicians but knows that it also means long hours traveling to gigs and lots of hotels. Fortunately, her kids love staying in hotels. We talk all about the pros and cons of being a professional musician, the difficulty of trying to teach your own children when you are a professional teacher to so many others, and what it's like to go into labor when you are about to play an important solo. 

Mia is an employee of her communities school system and the mother of a six-year-old daughter. Mia has spent her career working with schools and seeing what they can offer children - but when it was time to enroll her own daughter, she admits the process was daunting. Her daughter was academically ahead during preschool, and although she has a late birthday, tested up to kindergarten when she was only four years old.  Mia admits that a lot of thought and conversation with her husband and other members of the school system went into making the decision -  but she says it was the best decision they could have made. We talk all about the intimidation of entering the public school system for the first time, how to navigate the various programs to make sure your child gets a great education, and what the heck an immersion program really is. 

Jan is the ultimate "Mother of Boys" - she raised six of them. With six boys spread ten years apart, she says life was as full of joy as it was rambunctious. Now a grandmother, she says she is proud of the men they have become and of the friendships and bond they share between them.  She offers her advice for raising independent men and living in a large family. 

Catherine and her husband are currently raising their one-year-old son Jack. Catherine is American and her husband is British, and the couple has lived on "both sides of the pond." After agreeing through most of their relationship that they did not want children, a pregnancy scare forced Catherine to rethink her decision. After a lot of thought and discussion, they decided to get pregnant. However, for most of her pregnancy Catherines husband was still apprehensive. It wasn't until the birth of her son that her husband fell in love and totally got on board. Catherine and I discuss making the decision to have a child, what it's like to raise a son with family so far away, and how to survive airplane rides with small children. 

Leah is a mother of two boys living on a farm in West Virginia. She and her husband are "theater people" and have had to carve out professions piecing together jobs in their rural community. They spend their days hiking and being boys, but she has always been aware of the need to have her children understand and express their emotions. We talk about life a mother of all boys, resources for unlimited amounts of energy and raising empathetic boys in a hypermasculine world. 

Mark is the other half of the parenting/business/success team of our last guest, Kendall. When Kendall brought Mark the idea of moving back to his rural hometown, it took a minute to believe she was serious. He had a full-time job in the city, they had friends and social obligations, but he had always longed for his daughters to have a connection to his hometown the way he did. There was one small catch - Mark needed to convince his job that it was feasible. He did, and he spent the first six months commuting back to the city for work. When his daughter told him that she was sad he was gone so much, Mark made another major life decision for the health of his family. We talk all about big life choices, raising daughters and why portrayals of fathers in the media are all wrong.  

Kendall is the mother of two girls, and is one of the bravest boss women I know. Before becoming a mother, Kendall decided that instead of working for a company, she wanted to start her own graphic design business.  So she took business classes, got mentors, networked, and taught herself how to become an entrepreneur. Ten years later, she and her husband run an incredibly successful graphic design company.  Kendall admits that after the birth of her second daughter, she had a lot of mommy guilt about not being able to do it all, and after the sale of their house in Baltimore, made another drastic change for the health and well being of the family. And because I am unashamed of plugging of my friends and their endeavors, if you need some graphic design work done, visit their website at http://www.curlyred.com/

April and her husband have two children, ages 11 and 8, and they are a military family. April spends much of the year away from her husband while he is off with the special forces, and she navigates her way through parenting solo. Even though they talk nearly every day, the family still faces parenting challenges when he does come home, and they work through each challenge as it comes. April has not put her dreams on the shelf, however, and she is currently working on her doctorate and teaches at local universities wherever they live. At the end of our conversation, April mentions a major life change that the family has only recently taken on. 

Alex is the mother of two children and a step-mother of three children. Alex and her husband met while serving their country in Iraq, and with both parents being in active military service the family is always thinking about what they will do if both parents are called up to duty. Alex came into the relationship knowing about her husband's children but admits to naively believing that they would all get along well. It has been a hard journey for the entire family. Alex also reveals another shocking detail about her husband's life, and what the family is doing with this new information.

Amanda is a single mother to two pre-teen girls, and the journey through divorce and co-parenting have not been easy.  During the separation and divorce, Amanda had to work through lawyers and even spoke only through email as the communication of last resort. Things have gotten easier for her, but only because of her willingness to put her children before her own needs and feelings, and is hoping that she can teach her daughters to make good choices as they blossom into adulthood. 

Alyse is a mother with a lot on her plate. With four children under the age of six, Alyse and her husband spent the first part of their marriage as a military family. She knew when her first child was six months old that something was not "normal" and spent five years working with a host of doctors and specialists to finally get a proper diagnosis.  Alyse and her husband are also dealing with an issue that many families in America are dealing with and that many try to hide - addiction.  After her husband broke his back and required surgery, he became addicted to pain pills and they have been battling the disease since. 

Aki is the mother of a twelve-year-old daughter and is also a life coach for parents. Aki got into this particular line of work after having her own daughter and quickly realizing that she didn't have all the answers. She works with parents to help them find confidence and connection so that they can enjoy their families. She admits, however, that being human means makes some mistakes, and feels that every child should see that as part of a healthy parenting dynamic.  You can find Aki at www.parentingpaths.com, or on facebook: @parentingpaths. 

James and his wife Stacy are the parents of one-year-old Ozzy, and are about ready to give birth to another child any day. James is true punk rock - eight-inch purple mohawk, ear stretchers, he has played in a band, and his career is working at a high-end guitar factory. We talk all about peoples perceptions of him - with and without his daughter - and how people go from scared to infatuated when he's out playing with his kid. We also talk about work/life balance, and what it's like to be on the phone with someone in the world of rock n' roll while your kid is playing on the floor. 

Staci and her husband have a beautiful rambunctious daughter and are preparing to welcome their second child in the next few weeks. When we recorded the interview, the couple hadn't told anyone but family that they were expecting their second child, and we talked about the craziness that is the second pregnancy.  Staci and her husband decided when they were engaged that they were atheists, and are raising their daughter as both an atheist and as a feminist. We talk about letting children - especially daughters - set boundaries early, respect when they say no, and let them explore their own spirituality as they grow up.  

Today's episode features our very first couple - Pat and Cristina! The couple are parenting two beautiful daughters, live on the West Coast, and try to foster a love of the outdoors in both girls. Pat is from the east coast and Cristina is from the west coast - and after living in coastal California and New York City, the two decided to settle on the west coast to be close to her family. That means, however, that they have to make the time to see his family as much as possible. We talk all about the highs and lows of living "far away from home," figuring out parenting styles as children grow and parenting gets harder, and what to do when you hear a bear outside your tent at 4 AM.  

Laura is the mother of one beautiful toddler and her story is not unlike many of ours. Laura and her husband were not even sure for many years that they wanted children, so when they decided to get pregnant they knew early on that they would only have one child. What they did not bargain for was a difficult labor and delivery that took many hours and various tools that most expecting mothers do not think will be used. Laura also tried very early on to breastfeed, however, when it wasn't working out she decided to switch to formula and never felt bad for doing so. we talk all about nightmare deliveries, rolling with the punches when things don't go your way, and when "fed is best."

Brandi is the mother of a beautiful toddler, Asher, and has always been very frank and open about her struggles with motherhood. After thinking that she did not want to breastfeed, Brandi decided during her pregnancy that she would try it and it all started perfectly. However, after her son developed a bout of colic, Brandi started to feel like a slave to the breast. We also talk about the worry of a possible speech delay, and when it is the right time to look for therapy and help when children don't reach milestones. Finally, Brandi opens up about a miscarriage she suffered before giving birth to her son, and what helped her during that painful period.

Jen is a mother to six children and a Women's Happiness Expert. After earning a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies in 2003, spent time as a stay-at-home mom. However, after trying to be the perfect mother, wife, and bread baker, Jen took a good look at her life and decided she was going to work every day at being happy. So that's just what she did. Along her journey, she decided that working with other women to get them to find their own happiness was another source of joy for her, and she never looked back. Jen is the host of Vibrant Happy Women, a podcast about women finding what makes them happy.  You can find her podcast on any of your favorite formats. For more information about Jen, visit: https://www.jenriday.com  

Dana is the mother of two boys from a previous marriage and is now the step-mother to two more sons with her husband. Dana and her husband knew when they began their relationship that they needed to make sure everyone was comfortable as they progressed, and they understood that they needed to be on the same page about parenting before making it official.  In this episode, Dana talks openly and candidly about the joys and challenges blending a family, what it's like living in a home with four adolescent boys, and how the kids have begun to bond as brothers.

Chaz is the mother of a very precocious four-year-old, and a labor and delivery nurse. She has witnessed so many of us become parents, and she says it is the greatest job in the world. As the mother of a child, she knows how hard the transition is from regular old human to parent, and she tells her new parents that this huge life change takes more time to fully accept. We talk all about her job, the highs and lows of being in the room when life comes roaring out, and what she wants parents to know about their impending parenthood. We also talk about her spectacular co-parenting relationship with her son's father, and what it took to meet each other halfway for the sake of their child.

Becky is the mother of two children. She is in the unique position of having a child with autism while also being a special education teacher. Becky talks about what it is like trying to understand her son's autism and being able to see both perspectives as a teacher and as a parent. We also talk about finding the right school to help him learn, and what that meant for her preconceived notions about discipline and therapies. Becky is also a "direct sales" mom, and she let me pick her brain about the why and how of having a side hustle.

Bobbie is the mother of two children. Bobbie was raised in a rural area, and the prevailing thought in her family was that women should marry and not continue an education. However, her mother always wanted Bobbie to further her education and be able to provide for herself; something her mother was not allowed to do. Bobbie was able to complete her undergraduate and masters degrees and now works as a teacher. She was able to use her mothers guidance and advice when she decided to walk away from an abusive relationship, and she built her life back up on her own terms as a result of her independence. She knew that she needed to leave the relationship because, like her mother, Bobbie knew that she wanted her daughter to know her own value and place in the world. 

Megan is the mother of four children, including twins. Megan is also a widow. Her husband Dennis died in 2014. Megan has been navigating her way through her pain by taking strength from her children, going to therapy, and a strong support system. We talk about what her early days were like, how she has moved forward raising her children, and what being a widow means to her.

Elizabeth is raising three children in the mountains of West Virginia, and doing it while piecing together a career in the arts. As a voice instructor with a masters degree from the Boston Conservatory, she knew moving to a rural area would mean finding a different career path than if she stayed in the city. However, with grit and determination, she has been able to remain an artist and a successful businesswoman all while raising her children where she has always wanted. We also talk at length about social justice, progressive Christianity, and making room for everyone to have a seat at God's table. 

Michelle is the mother of three boys who was working a typical desk job but knew she had bigger career dreams. A fitness enthusiast and former dancer, Michelle knew when she saw her gym advertising a yoga instructor training that she wanted to make a change. Changing careers and following your dreams is easier when you don't have children, but how do you make a plan and get trained and change life paths when you have mouths to feed? You do it with a long-term plan, lots of family discussion and a desire for a better life. Michelle admits it was hard and there were bumps in the road, but she is much happier doing what she loves. She also drops a bomb of another major life change that she and her husband are currently planning, and it will inspire you to follow your own dreams.

Sam is a mother of two girls who was diagnosed in her formative years with an anxiety disorder.  Managing her disorder through medication, Sam decided when she became pregnant to stop taking her medicine because of the risks to her children.  As a superstar career mother and wife, Sam admits that even though she's outgoing and personable, it takes all her energy to be in public and she has had to take a step back to keep her sanity.  We talk in this episode about removing stigmas surrounding anxiety and mental disorders, what it's like to live through a panic attack, and why she hopes more people could show empathy to those who struggle with this disease. 

Abigail is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and Pediatric Behavioral Therapist and works with children on the Autism Spectrum. She knew early in her college career that she wanted to make a difference in children's lives, and has recently become officially nationally board certified. I asked Abigail to be a guest on the show to talk about what parents should look for, the importance of early intervention and diagnosis, and what a behavioral therapist can do to help the lives of children who are autistic. She is a wealth of important information, and I am so thankful she is sharing her experience with us.  

Laurie and her husband Dan are both working parents. Laurie, an engineer, has always been a boss lady. However, after her company relocated, she was able to spend some quality time with her young boys while looking for a new job. After she found a new position located over an hour away, her and her husband had to shift family roles and responsibilities, and Laurie had to let go of a lot of "mom perfection" for the new transition. In this episode, we also talk about the power of someone's words to alter the course of your parenting, or to offer comfort in a moment of fear and heartbreak. Laurie also offers her hilarious perspective on the comparison of parenting to the never ending laundry pile.

Monica has spent the majority of her adult life as a wife to a professional rock band trombone player. As a member of the band Reel Big Fish, Monica has watched her husband go from trombone player in a local ska band to playing packed arenas, being a regular on MTV and featured in movies like "BASEketball." However, it wasn't all rock and roll. When Monica and her husband Danny decided to get married and start a family, they had to make big choices about his constant touring and where their careers would go from there. As they settle into a new life, both as entrepreneurs in businesses they have created, she talks about life with her husband on the road and making room for her own dream as an owner of a fitness studio.

When Barbara married her husband, David, she became a step-mother to a then three year old daughter, Michelle. Through various circumstances, Barbara and David received full custody of Michelle while raising their second daughter Jaime. Barbara has always had a very special bond with Michelle. Growing up not having the relationship with her own mother that she had always wanted, it put Barbara in the unique position of understanding Michelle and her mother's relationship better. Barbara served as Michelle's Matron of Honor in her wedding, and the two continue to have an extraordinary friendship now that Barbara is the grandmother to Michelle's three rambunctious sons.

Lori is a mother of a son about to start kindergarten, as well as a successful blogger, HuffPo Contributor, and Declutter Coach. When her son was diagnosed with a speech delay, Lori says that the initial assessment and testing threw her for a loop, but they have been working hard on getting him on track to start kindergarten. Lori and I talk all about how hard it is to declutter, some strategies for getting rid of all the "stuff", and we also talk about what it is like being a female entrepreneur while working from home and juggling all the tasks of motherhood. For more information on Lori, please visit her website, lorirochino.com.

Karlo is a successful photographer who built his business from the ground up, becoming a premiere wedding and commercial photographer in the Mid-Atlantic region. While he built his business, he met and married the love of his life, Amanda. Amanda had a young daughter when the two met, and Karlo worked hard to blend the family and put the well-being of their daughter first. He knew how successful co-parenting should work because he was the product of a blended family and a step-father who understood the importance of family. In this episode, Karlo talks about how the three parents worked their way into successful co-parenting, starting a business and following your dream, and when it's time to change your life in order to have more time with the most important people: family. Between taping this episode and the release, Karlo's beloved step-father unexpectedly passed away. This show is dedicated to him, Captain Michael P. Goodfellow.

Alie has spent the last 13 years sober. She realized in her mid-twenties that she was powerless to alcohol, and decided to stop drinking completely in order to have a fulfilling life. She got married sober and her children have never seen her drink. In this episode, Alie and I talk about finding sobriety early in life, and how grateful we are that we quit drinking before children. We also talk about how hard it is to "come clean" to new mom friends about our sobriety, and navigating in a culture that suggests that "Mommy Juice" is the norm.

In honor of Mother's Day, I sat down with my mom Jane to talk about what it was like to raise me and my siblings. Growing up poor in Appalachia, my mother showed us through her actions how important family and education were. As the wife of a career police officer, my mother was able to get her master's degree while raising three children and caring for her elderly mother. She hustled working multiple jobs for many years to put food on the table, and she still made time to make homemade baby food, hand sew costumes, outfits and cabbage patch kids, and generally be the best mother ever. Oh, and then there was that one time she had a baby in the front yard. Happy Mother's Day to my fierce, resilient, compassionate, giving mother Jane.

SPECIAL EPISODE. Today's show features Jen, a mother who has a disabled son. Her and her husband found out during her mid-pregnancy ultrasound that their son would have major facial deformities, and after consulting experts in the field, had James at a facility three hours from their home to ensure he would live. James has to be hooked up to a ventilator every night in order for him to breathe. It is lifesaving equipment, and it is expensive. James is a "lifetime limit" baby. He hit the million dollar mark - the lifetime cap the insurance companies had in place before the ACA - when he was fourteen days old. If you like Affordable Care Act, please listen. If you do not like the Affordable Care Act, please listen. If you are pro-life or pro-choice or Republican or Democrat or Independent, please listen. And please share. Her story is important. Her son's life depends on the A.C.A.

Jenny and her husband have two beautiful boys, but there have been bumps on their parenthood journey. Jenny suffered a miscarriage in her first pregnancy, and felt as though she was not supposed to talk about her loss or even have feelings. Through her second pregnancy, she hoped for a natural childbirth at a birthing enter, but after more than twenty hours and the diagnosis of infection, she rushed to the hospital and had to have an emergency c-section. Also, after suffering from debilitating migraines for many years, she made the decision on the advice of medical specialists to undergo a hysterectomy. All of these challenges have made her stronger. Her hope is that by talking openly about her struggles, more mothers will feel that they have permission to feel their feelings and talk about the more difficult parts of parenthood.

Maria and her husband are the parents of four children. A military family, they decided early on in their marriage to pursue adoption when they had retired. After months of paperwork and investigation, the family welcomed a baby boy into their home from China. Born with a cleft palate, Maria faced a unique set of challenges bringing him home. As conservative Christians, Maria and her husband decided before their children went to public school that they would home-school instead, and they have been on many mission trips as a family. She tells me about their adoption process, what life is like as a home-school mother, and making parenting decisions always keeping in mind their faith.

How do you build your life back after making the biggest mistake you've ever made? How do you do it while being a parent? Rocki is the ultimate tale of redemption. After spending two years in federal prison, Rocki regained custody of her children and built her life back out of the ashes. She met other mothers in prison and shared their love and grief, and became a successful businesswoman, upstanding member of her community and mother following her release. It's an incredible story.

Suzanne and her husband raised four artistic, creative, independent children and were preparing to enjoy retirement when they received a phone call that changed their lives. They became foster parents and legal guardians to their three granddaughters while their daughter and son-in-law sought treatment for addiction. The children came to live with them on Suzanne's 60th birthday. She talks about the grief of not knowing how to help their daughter during her darkest days, being overwhelmed and unprepared for raising three little girls, and the hard climb back to normalcy for the whole family.

Nicole has always felt a strong sense of community and helping those in need. As a member of many boards, a volunteer for many causes, and a champion of people with disabilities, prominent members of the community began asking her to run for elected office. So that's just what she did. While serving her community as a city council member, Nicole found her soulmate (another public servant) and the two have been together ever since. She talks about her very first campaign, the joys and challenges of being a public servant, and where she sees her public life go from here (including a possible run for the Maryland House of Delegates.)

Kristin and her daughter we a team of two until she met and married her husband and the family dynamic changed. She was also determined to get her undergraduate degree and then her masters degree even while being giving birth and raising two more daughters. Now a teacher, Kristin is facing the looming responsibility of sending her oldest off to college, knowing that these are the last months her daughter will be home. Her daughter also lived through a horrific incident during school that made them all reevaluate empathy and forgiveness. Her story is as multifaceted as it is encouraging.

Lauren had no intention of ever becoming a parent. A successful business owner, she decided early not to have children. Then she met and eventually fell in love with a man who had full custody of his three kids. Wanting to make sure they "did it right," Lauren and her husband took it slow and formed meaningful relationships with his children. Then they married, and everything changed. Lauren talks about the growing pains of marrying a family, and how she made it work raising teenagers not biologically her own.

There are so many paths to becoming a parent. Bre and her husband have been able to become parents thanks to in vitro fertilization. The mother to a daughter and a son, Bre explored IVF after her and her husband went through testing to determine their fertility. Bre has become an advocate for parents who are traveling the road of IVF. She also wrote a blog about her journey, and is active in supporting parents who are in the process of getting pregnant through IVF. Her blog: http://onestepatatime-bre.blogspot.com/

How does a feminist Naval Officer reinvent herself as a military wife and mother? My guest Maggie has done it with soul searching and lots of humor. Her husband is deployed for months out of the year and she knows that everyday he faces dangerous situations. Although she has traveled the world and given her children many unique adventures, the childcare is solely her responsibility while her husband is deployed. Maggie talks about transitioning from serving her country to raising her children, surviving the Japanese earthquake and tsunami of 2011, and finding herself in every new city.