Podcasts about not mr

YouTube is NOT Mr. Beast's biggest moneymaker, salt may be making you depressed, Sonic is slinging deals and apparently we need to "micro-retire."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mr. Beast is not the standard, he is the exception to the rule! Jimmy is a successful creator who does a lot of really amazing things and gives a ton but he has created a Mr. Beast effect that is setting other creators up for failure when they see him as the gold standard of success. Deep dive with me into the mistakes we are making (yes me included) as creators trying to chase unachievable standards, BS sensationalization, and over the top chaos. Tired of feeling alone and lost in the sauce of creating as a woman? The Women of Video Mastermind is for you! Join us in the mastermind to find community, training, office hours, and education made by women for women and our unique needs and goals as creators. Get your first 7 days free to check it out! Join the Women of Video Mastermind at https://womenofvideo.uscreen.io/  Join the Money and Youtube Clubhouse room on Fridays: https://www.clubhouse.com/club/talking-youtube-by-vidiq Join our Facebook Group: http://t.ly/Nl9T  Finding what will perform well isn't easy, but VidIQ is my go to solution for tracking trends, key words, and what my viewers are looking for. When you download the VidIQ extension you will be able to level up your content! Get vidIQ to blow up your channel at womeonofyoutube.com/vidiq Our community is focused on helping women not only to be better creators but to also make money doing it. Spreadshop allows for you to start making money as soon as you have merch to sell. You can open your FREE online merch store with Spreadshop in minutes! Cost-free, hassle-free, it's merchandising made easy. Click this link to get started for FREE! Get started with Spreadshop at https://womenofyoutube.com/Spreadshop Follow Desiree at http://t.ly/GbY4  Time Stamps: 00:00 - Podcast Intro 05:31 - You are NOT Mr. Beast! 11:22 - It's okay to need to make money 16:50 - Have products independent of creating 20:59 - Sensationalization won't work for you --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/womenofvideo/message

We discovered Craig was NOT Mr. Personality, but he did enjoy Melissa's booty…

Welcome to We Were Phoenix! A lookback at the ups, downs and behind the scenes of Phoenix Wrestling in Cork, Ireland. Tom is joined by performer and mainstay of the Cork scene, Deano Power and performer, promoter and co-founder of Phoenix Billy Bedlam to talk about the origins of Phoenix Wrestling, the first show and the co-operation between promotions that marked a new era in Cork wrestling. We hear from Irish talent across the scene; Marion Armstrong, Debbie Keitel, Katey Harvey, Phil Boyd and Terry Thatcher. Not Mr. Charlie though. Come back next Friday for Episode 2. If you want tickets for 'Aw Shit Here We Go Again' in the Kino on November 5th check out the link below https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/rcw-presents-aw-shit-here-we-go-again-tickets-430949590827?aff=ebdssbdestsearch For more from the Pop Cult Pod keep it locked on the feed right here or check us out on Youtube at youtube.com/c/popcultpod

So, Mr. Pelosi caught a DUI and Jerk suggests that old people should get free rides everywhere. Not Mr. Pelosi though, he gotta pay for his rides cuz he's loaded with that congressional husband money. After that we discuss the Constitution at length and deep dive on every Amendment. Good times, good times, it's the Worstcase.......

So, Mr. Pelosi caught a DUI and Jerk suggests that old people should get free rides everywhere. Not Mr. Pelosi though, he gotta pay for his rides cuz he's loaded with that congressional husband money. After that we discuss the Constitution at length and deep dive on every Amendment. Good times, good times, it's the Worstcase....... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/worstcasepodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/worstcasepodcast/support

In preparation for Spooky Season, join the Gatekeeper as I discuss how to properly cleanse one's home! The second half of the episode is dedicated to discussing Familiar Spirits. That's right, NOT Mr. Fluffykins. A Familiar Spirit.

I was half-asleep when I edited this one, so hopefully I didn't leave any slurs in. I don't think there were any in there when we recorded it, so if there are now that'd be even more embarrassing. Here's that comic we mentioned. Not Mr. Boop, the other one. ...Yup, pretty funny. https://64.media.tumblr.com/76fc6458536127735f8eaf8d294445e8/tumblr_psvx7iJ0BT1wnz05no1_1280.png Follow the show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/MrBoopPod Follow Ryan on Twitter: https://twitter.com/candyman106 https://twitter.com/SemisweetStuffs Follow Lisa on Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisadoop2 Theme music by Adam Catscratch: https://adamcatscratch.bandcamp.com/ [Recorded on June 25th, 2021]

Scripture For Today: 2 Thessalonians 1:11 “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling, and that, by His power, He may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by Faith.” The Lord's Prayer pt 1  Almost everyone is familiar with what is traditionally called, “The Lord's Prayer.” It is in Matthew 6:9-13. What Jesus is saying in these passages of scripture is not, necessarily, a prayer for us to pray word for word. But in it, Jesus gives us some principles in connection WITH prayer that will work for us today. Matthew 6:9-13, “After this manner therefore, pray. Our Father which is in Heaven, Hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. Forgive us of our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom and the power and the Glory, forever, Amen.” Some things that people have said about the Lord's Prayer are a little misleading. You see, this prayer is not “The Lord's Prayer” in the sense that Jesus taught this for the Church to pray. Jesus gave this prayer to HIS DISCIPILES to use when they asked Him to teach them how to pray. Certainly, this prayer is not how the New Testament church should be praying. For this is the method Jesus taught His disciples to pray BEFORE His death, burial and resurrection. In other words, Jesus gave this prayer to His disciples to use at a time when they were still, technically, under the Old Covenant. Actually, the Lord's Prayer was given to the disciples as a way to pray during the transition between the fulfillment of the Old Covenant and the beginning of the New Covenant. In that sense, Jesus was giving His followers a way to pray during that interim period between covenants. Jesus' followers had a sort of “promissory note” on their salvation because they believed in Jesus. Amen. Under the Old Covenant, no one asked anything in the Name of Jesus. But, as we have already talked about previously, under the New Covenant, when the Church prays, we are to pray to the Father IN THE NAME of Jesus.  There are some things, however, we can learn from the Lord's Prayer. That is what we will be going over, starting today, and running the next few days. First, we need to PRAY TO THE FATHER. Jesus began by saying, “After THIS MANNER…” That indicates a PATTERN. Not a word for word diatribe! I know that steps on the theological toes out there. But get over it. Amen!  Don't shout me down when I'm preaching good! We know that everyone is not a child of God. Under the New Covenant, ONLY those who have been born again are considered CHILDREN of GOD. Jesus followers could pray this way, saying “Our Father…” because, as I just said, they basically had a “promissory note” from Jesus that, because they believed in Him, they were going to be born again soon after His resurrection.  The unsaved today could pray this prayer all day long, but the only effect would be like someone reciting some poem from memory. It means nothing in their heart. The word “FATHER” is not for the unsaved. It is ONLY for those who have been “born again.” It is ONLY for those who are in the  Kingdom of God. A very simple example, would be, let's say one of your friends was the son of a very wealthy and influential billionaire. He invited you to spend the weekend with him at the family estate. There are several sibling of this person and they all refer to their father as “Father.” Not dad. Not daddy. Not Mr. So and So. They call him, “Father.”  That is perfectly natural and shows respect and, at the same time, demonstrates they are part of the family. How would it sound, if you, when addressing this same man, called, “Father” instead of “Mr. So and so?”  It would seem a little awkward, right? You may even get some quizzical...

Not Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock! This baby doctor looked to the sexual teachings of Sigmund Freud and came out with a revolutionary way to raise children in post-war America. The results... Lead paint-eating, self-absord, sociopath we now call the Baby Boomers.

There’s no baseball yet, but we have a special Stick To Wrestling DOUBLEHEADER for your holiday weekend. First, Thomas Bane returns to further discuss the episode of Monday Nitro that aired on July 25, 2000 and we share what we thought of the show and the promotion overall. Part Two has popular guest Max Levy … Continue reading Episode 108: It’s Not Mr. Fuji → The post Episode 108: It’s Not Mr. Fuji appeared first on Stick To Wrestling with John McAdam.

Episode 51: Not Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Today is solo cast with Gio, on this episode we get into facing the reality of situations. Mr. and Mrs. not Smith, the golden state killer, Nasa's time-lapse of the sun, and much more!Follow: thethpcast/instaThe high primo/ facebook Subscribe, review, and leave a rating! Much love from the THP cast!

Today's Oddcast: “Confess that Kink!” A New Fondness for Standing in Line. Half of Americans Have a Hidden Kink. We Live in a Culture That is Quick to Shame Others. Bob is Not "Mr. Whips and Chains" The Bob & Sheri Oddcast: everything we don't, can't, won't, and definitely shouldn't do on the show!

We interview artist, activist, con organizer, and cosplayer Kristina Maldonado Bad Hand in this episode. Audio recorded in front of a live audience on December…Continue ReadingEpisode 18: Not Mr. Miyagi!

Tribulations of Not Mr. White Show S2E9 08.19.2018

You know her from the LA/Hollywood comedy scene, and her kick ass show “2 Girls, 1 Guy Podcast”. You’ve heard her on Sirius XM/Comedy Central’s You Up w/ Nikki Glaser, but do you know the real Carlisle Forrester? In part two of this two-parter Tribulations of Not Mr. White, things get hot and our beloved host gets some answers — The real ish. The ish you won’t find with a half-assed Google search. The interview goes from black sheep to balls deep with no stone left unturned. Open to finding love on the fringe of society, we play the dating game with Stern Show favorites High Pitch Erik and Speech Impediment Man. How’d she get her start in show biz? What makes her tick? Anal? You’ll have to listen to find out. Warning: You will be charmed.    Follow her: Instagram: @Carlisleforrester   Her show: Apple Podcast: 2 Girls, 1 Guy Podcast Instagram: @2girls1guypodcast

"You know her from the LA/Hollywood comedy scene, and her kick ass show “2 Girls, 1 Guy Podcast”. You’ve heard her on Sirius XM/Comedy Central’s You Up w/ Nikki Glaser, but do you know the real Carlisle Forrester? In part one of this two-parter Tribulations of Not Mr. White, things get hot and our beloved host gets some answers — The real ish. The ish you won’t find with a half-assed Google search. The interview goes from black sheep to balls deep with no stone left unturned. Open to finding love on the fringe of society, we play the dating game with Stern Show favorites High Pitch Erik and Speech Impediment Man. How’d she get her start in show biz? What makes her tick? Anal? You’ll have to listen to find out. Warning: You will be charmed.    Follow her: Instagram: @Carlisleforrester   Her show: Apple Podcast: 2 Girls, 1 Guy Podcast Instagram: @2girls1guypodcast   What is a maiden name?"

Not Mr. White decides to start this season off with a BANG! Our beloved host travels across the country to Chicago to embed himself with, and expose the mystery behind, Serial Killer Jack. Who is he? What makes him tick? Does he prefer Louisa’a or Lou Malnati’s for deep dish? Sounds nice and safe, but don’t let your mom listen to this episode.

Not Mr. White decides to start this season off with a BANG! Our beloved host travels across the country to Chicago to embed himself with, and expose the mystery behind, Serial Killer Jack. Who is he? What makes him tick? Does he prefer Louisa’a or Lou Malnati’s for deep dish? Sounds nice and safe, but don’t let your mom listen to this episode.

What do pyramid schemes, porno dreams, and balancing beams have in common? Nothing, unless you’re Not Mr. White. On episode 20 of Tribulations of Not Mr. White the listeners spend an entertaining, introspective Earth Day at home with our beloved host.

What do pyramid schemes, porno dreams, and balancing beams have in common? Nothing, unless you’re Not Mr. White. On episode 20 of Tribulations of Not Mr. White the listeners spend an entertaining, introspective Earth Day at home with our beloved host.

The guys discuss getting another Howard Stern mention and they address the topic of making headlines on TMZ! Krabdaddy calls in to gripe about not being part of the network intro and claims he's funnier than Brain. Finally, Brain announced Casey from Tribulations of Not Mr. White as the winner of Be Brain's Buddy contest.

The guys discuss getting another Howard Stern mention and they address the topic of making headlines on TMZ! Krabdaddy calls in to gripe about not being part of the network intro and claims he's funnier than Brain. Finally, Brain announced Casey from Tribulations of Not Mr. White as the winner of Be Brain's Buddy contest.

On this special LIVE episode, Balls and XTina start off with a quick update as to why David Arquette hasn't been on Stern in awhile then Speech calls in and shocks us all with an alarmingly descriptive fantasy about being dommed by a female. We also learn that Balls was a virgin in his 20's! Casey Black from Not Mr. White calls in and discusses a few movies with Balls. Speech decides putting sausage in his pants will help him score chicks!

On this special LIVE episode, Balls and XTina start off with a quick update as to why David Arquette hasn't been on Stern in awhile then Speech calls in and shocks us all with an alarmingly descriptive fantasy about being dommed by a female. We also learn that Balls was a virgin in his 20's! Casey Black from Not Mr. White calls in and discusses a few movies with Balls. Speech decides putting sausage in his pants will help him score chicks!

A provocateur, a podcast host, and a pile of sex toys walk into a bar…. Wait, what?!? In this week’s episode of Tribulations of Not Mr. White, our beloved host interviews provocateur and frontman for glam/punk band The DTease, Wilson Gil. In Part I of this interview, the duo talks about being a rockstar, sex, and Wilson’s side gig which involves the removal of dead bodies. Yeah, it gets weird. We cap the episode with a review of a sex toy from sponsor TooTimid.com, which includes phone sex with one of Not Mr. White’s ex-girlfriends. Yes, things get weird again

A provocateur, a podcast host, and a pile of sex toys walk into a bar…. Wait, what?!? In this week’s episode of Tribulations of Not Mr. White, our beloved host interviews provocateur and frontman for glam/punk band The DTease, Wilson Gil. In Part I of this interview, the duo talks about being a rockstar, sex, and Wilson’s side gig which involves the removal of dead bodies. Yeah, it gets weird. We cap the episode with a review of a sex toy from sponsor TooTimid.com, which includes phone sex with one of Not Mr. White’s ex-girlfriends. Yes, things get weird again

If Russell Simmons and Whitney Cummings had a kid, it could only hope to be as black and/or funny as poet/comedian Russell Cummings. In this week’s episode of Tribulations of Not Mr. White, Russell Cummings teaches our beloved host what it means to be WOKE — A truly eye opening interview that discusses Black History Month, rednecks, and the future we are preparing our children to face. We cap the episode with Bostonian comedian Hawk Innes discussing prejudice towards animals.

If Russell Simmons and Whitney Cummings had a kid, it could only hope to be as black and/or funny as poet/comedian Russell Cummings. In this week’s episode of Tribulations of Not Mr. White, Russell Cummings teaches our beloved host what it means to be WOKE — A truly eye opening interview that discusses Black History Month, rednecks, and the future we are preparing our children to face. We cap the episode with Bostonian comedian Hawk Innes discussing prejudice towards animals.

In an unexpected turn of events, Not Mr. White welcomes his first female guest!! Model, actress, and one half of The Unlicensed Professionals, Samantha Fairley brings a heat the show has not yet seen. Much more than a pair of large breasts, this beauty with a brain and Bachelor’s Degree in Zoology talks politics, film and conceiving a child with Not Mr. White. BTW, they still don’t have a name and are waiting to meet him/her. At press time the name is Mili, a play off of the Spanish word for 1,000. We’ll see what happens.In keeping with the show ethos of treating everyone equal, both are sprayed down with cold baby oil until left with hard nips blasting though transparent, slippery tank tops. Also, some turd is kicked off the show for good.

In an unexpected turn of events, Not Mr. White welcomes his first female guest!! Model, actress, and one half of The Unlicensed Professionals, Samantha Fairley brings a heat the show has not yet seen. Much more than a pair of large breasts, this beauty with a brain and Bachelor’s Degree in Zoology talks politics, film and conceiving a child with Not Mr. White. BTW, they still don’t have a name and are waiting to meet him/her. At press time the name is Mili, a play off of the Spanish word for 1,000. We’ll see what happens.In keeping with the show ethos of treating everyone equal, both are sprayed down with cold baby oil until left with hard nips blasting though transparent, slippery tank tops. Also, some turd is kicked off the show for good.

Tribulations of Not Mr White celebrates it’s first Dr. Martin Luther King Day by having our first African American guest, Santa Barbarian Charles Myles. Not Mr. White also welcomes a test cohost from another coast, King Kunowsky aka Krabdaddy. The fellas engage in locker room talk ranging from interracial dating to rank beaver while peppering in stories of racist grandparents. Everything is going fine until Not Mr. White’s twin sister decides to call in and get hit on by Krabdaddy. Did he score a date? You’ll have to listen to find out. All in all it was a celebration of friendship, diversity, and acceptance. We like to believe activist/hero/dreamer Dr. King would have enjoyed the show and called in to also hit on Not Mr. White’s sister.

Tribulations of Not Mr White celebrates it’s first Dr. Martin Luther King Day by having our first African American guest, Santa Barbarian Charles Myles. Not Mr. White also welcomes a test cohost from another coast, King Kunowsky aka Krabdaddy. The fellas engage in locker room talk ranging from interracial dating to rank beaver while peppering in stories of racist grandparents. Everything is going fine until Not Mr. White’s twin sister decides to call in and get hit on by Krabdaddy. Did he score a date? You’ll have to listen to find out. All in all it was a celebration of friendship, diversity, and acceptance. We like to believe activist/hero/dreamer Dr. King would have enjoyed the show and called in to also hit on Not Mr. White’s sister.

Dave vows to stop being fat and dress better for 2018. Not Mr.White calls in and the 3 do thier first public service announcement. Legendary wack packer King of All Blacks aka Shampoo joins the group to bust balls! He offfers tips on skin care,fashion,home remodeling.KOAB gives an inside look at the epic wackpack Vegas reality show Dopes Gone Wild he filmed along side High Pitch Erik. Wild card takes Wildin Out to the next level and throws out political correctness!

Dave vows to stop being fat and dress better for 2018. Not Mr.White calls in and the 3 do thier first public service announcement. Legendary wack packer King of All Blacks aka Shampoo joins the group to bust balls! He offfers tips on skin care,fashion,home remodeling.KOAB gives an inside look at the epic wackpack Vegas reality show Dopes Gone Wild he filmed along side High Pitch Erik. Wild card takes Wildin Out to the next level and throws out political correctness!

Self-deprecating, California based, stand-up comedian, filmmaker, and vegetarian, Casey Black introduces a colorful world of comedy. The Tribulations of Not Mr. White shares tales from the road including a frightening experience with an obese stripper named Cinnamon and a follow up date with an ass eating ex-girlfriend. In a stark contrast to the wild, West Coast night life, Casey sits down for a fascinatingly intimate interview with his father up in Canada. His father shares the details of Casey’s conception and a heartfelt story of his birth. As an environmental expert, his father concluded the interview with a first hand account of the decline of the Canadian wilderness.

Self-deprecating, California based, stand-up comedian, filmmaker, and vegetarian, Casey Black introduces a colorful world of comedy. The Tribulations of Not Mr. White shares tales from the road including a frightening experience with an obese stripper named Cinnamon and a follow up date with an ass eating ex-girlfriend. In a stark contrast to the wild, West Coast night life, Casey sits down for a fascinatingly intimate interview with his father up in Canada. His father shares the details of Casey’s conception and a heartfelt story of his birth. As an environmental expert, his father concluded the interview with a first hand account of the decline of the Canadian wilderness.

Mike and Dave kick off Friendsgiving with Sinatra Xmas music and Dave reveals his black friday strategy.HPE gives us a welcome and discusses his post surgery progress.Serial Killer Jack calls and reveals he has Charles Mansons hair.Not Mr.White joins in to discuss ass play makes wasted MonoToan horny.Mono describes his dream custom Lovedoll.Speaking of Dolls Jolie tops off the show with a warm Atlanta welcome. A beutiful Friendsgiving for all.

Mike and Dave kick off Friendsgiving with Sinatra Xmas music and Dave reveals his black friday strategy.HPE gives us a welcome and discusses his post surgery progress.Serial Killer Jack calls and reveals he has Charles Mansons hair.Not Mr.White joins in to discuss ass play makes wasted MonoToan horny.Mono describes his dream custom Lovedoll.Speaking of Dolls Jolie tops off the show with a warm Atlanta welcome. A beutiful Friendsgiving for all.

12 Angry Men. You know, that famous old black & white government type movie. Not Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, the other one. Many movies and tv shows have since made many reference to this stand out in amercian classic cinema. Listen along as we gush about it. Ever recreate meals from movies you’ve watched? Get ready for some ear porn as we describe in great detail the deliciousness that is well prepared food. We also talk about the outcomes of getting involved and helping in potentially dangerous situation. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

TURD TALKS with DR. DUDE Season 1 - Episode 8 Guest: NOT MR. WHITE Dr. Dude invites special guest Not Mr. White back for more action in the electryfing eighth episode of Turd Talks. Co-Hosted by Vein Doisel and Sound Engineer Excellent Ray. Featuring the madcap tales: “ROBERTA vs. SANDRA,” “Poopback Whale Bachelor Party,” and “Meta Turd Talk." More on the Web at: www.facebook.com/turdtalks www.turdtalks.tumblr.com www.instagram.com/turdtalks Edited by Ivan Ehlers Co-Engineered and Mastered by David Jerkovich Theme Song by the Poobuts

TURD TALKS with DR. DUDE Season 1 - Episode 3 Guest: NOT MR. WHITE Dr. Dude invites special guest Not Mr. White for the thrilling third episode of Turd Talks. Co-Hosted by Vein Doisel and Sound Engineer Excellent Ray. Featuring the unforgettable story, “Please Fear the Reaper." More on the Web at: www.facebook.com/turdtalks www.turdtalks.tumblr.com www.instagram.com/turdtalks Edited by Ivan Ehlers Co-Engineered and Mastered by David Jerkovich Theme Song by the Poobuts

In the first edition of our Short Echoes series, Albert gives us a story about the Krumpus. Listen to the audio, and the text is below.   Of Teeth and Claus  by Albert Berg The fat man stepped quietly into the room, nearly gagging on the overpowering stench of sulfur that hung in the air. An iron-posted bed with yellowing sheets and a sagging mattress sat against the far wall, and under the sheets lay a contorted figure, still as stone, the rasping of breath the only testament to the fact that it was alive. The fat man sank into a wooden chair that sat near the bed with a sigh, and dropped the bag he carried with a thump. Strange that it seemed so heavy now when it was nearly empty, now when there was only one delivery left to make. For a long time the fat man sat in silence. It was only after several minutes had passed and he was considering getting up to go that the thing in the bed finally spoke. "You don't have to keep coming here," it said in a low growl of a voice that sounded like nothing so much as the voice of some demoniac hound. "It seems only right," the fat man replied. "We rode together all those years. Some might say that you're a part of what I am." "Was," growled the thing in the bed. "I was a part of you. And you me. All that's past now." "Times have changed." "Yes, yes they have. But that's not the problem. The problem is that people think they've changed." "Perhaps they have." "NO!" The word was a snarl. "They're the same. Underneath they're the same as they've always been. They still need me just as much as they need you." The thing under the sheets ended the sentence with a long fit of hacking wheezing coughs that tapered off into a gasp for air. "I didn't come here to argue." "No, of course now. Not you. Not Mr. Nice. You wouldn't let the stench of conflict foul your eternal air of joviality." "It doesn't matter what I think anyway. It's not my doing. It was not I who brought you to this place." The thing in the bed did not speak for a long time, and when it did it's voice was gentler, the growl offset by a tone of tenderness. "I do not blame you old friend. We are their servants. We do what we were created to do. And when they have no more need of us... But therein lies the tragedy. Because they do have a need of us. Of both of us." "I do the best I can." "I'm sure. With your lumps of coal? And how has that worked out?" The fat man coughed and did not answer. "I see. So you've abandoned even the pretext of punishment." "It isn't me. I didn't ask for any of this." "It's killing them. Or it's going to." "That remains to be seen." "Yes. And you will remain to see it. Because it will come back to haunt them. They're trying to enjoy light without darkness, pleasure without pain, joy without fear. But they're living a fantasy. Because life doesn't work that way. Sooner or later, life has teeth." The thing in the bed turned then, drawing back the covers with one gnarled hand to reveal a hideous face, pocked and pitted with sores, some oozing yellow-green puss. One horn sprouted crookedly from a grey skinned head, while a festering bleeding stump marked the spot where it's twin once stood. In place of a nose there was a rotting hole in the center of the creature's face, and beneath it withered lips parted to reveal two rows of of teeth, blackened and rotting with age, but still razor-sharp and deadly. But worst of all were the eyes, not because they were monstrous, but because they were human, filled with bitterness and loss. The fat man winced, but forced himself not to look away. "Some of them still remember you," he said. "They keep your name alive." The thing in the bed waved its hand dismissively. "Hipsters. They don't mean it. There is no fear in their hearts. And even they do not speak of me as I was: ripping claws, piercing teeth, a howl that could curdle the blood of an ox. I'm nothing more than an amusement to them. They do not believe. They do not fear. Only children have the capacity for that kind of pure faith." "Is the fear so necessary? Is the form not enough?" "The fear is everything. The fear of punishment has power that the promise of reward can never hope to match. You have been there. You know their hearts. You see what they do. Tell me I am wrong. Tell me the hearts of children no longer give place to the seed of wickedness as they once did. Tell me that has changed, and...and I can pass on happily from this world." The fat man slowly shook his head. "They are as they always were. Some are still good. But others... The worst of it is that their wickedness is excused, explained away by a people unwilling to see the truth. They have blinded themselves. They are like lepers who have put out their own eyes and convinced themselves that they have been healed because they can no longer see their sores. And it seems the more they convince themselves of their own goodness the worse they become. If they were punished as they once were, you my friend would feast for a year of Christmases." The thing in the bed ran a forked tongue over its shriveled lips. "Oh to be out there again. To hunt as we once did. Do you remember the lad from Bavaria? Round about 1593 if memory serves." "He had dropped his baby sister into a well," the fat man said. "He laughed about it. And no one knew." "No one but us." "He screamed for such a long time." "Not nearly long enough. But when it was over I feasted on his heart and sucked the sweet marrow from the hollows of his bones. Tell me you regret that. Tell me you would take if back if you could." The fat man opened his mouth as if to reply, but before he could speak the bag on the floor shifted slightly and a moan escaped from within. The thing in the bed leaned slowly forward, a grin spreading across its face, pointed ears pricking up at the sound. "Oh, Claus, you really shouldn't have." The fat man stood and tipped the bag forward, spilling his final gift out onto the floor. The child stared up at him with wild uncomprehending eyes, but when his gaze lighted on the Krampus he screamed into the gag wedged in his mouth and began to fight against his bonds. The Krampus leaped down from the bed and looked into the child's eyes with terrible fascination. "I know what you did," he said. "I can smell it. And because you showed no mercy, none will be shown to you. Tonight you're going to learn what really happens to naughty children." The fat man stooped to gather his finally empty bag and trudged wearily from the room. He shut the door against the screams, and took the elevator to the roof.