Podcasts about uncover escaping nxivm

We're talking about how one of the characteristics of a cult is that they often present as a really good thing. A lot of times, they are doing really good things on the surface. If this weren't the case, people wouldn't be joining them. Additionally, not every cult starts as a cult. Sometimes it starts as on organization with really good intentions to help people. We'll discuss all of that, in this episode. https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_edmondson_how_to_spot_a_cultSarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out. Her full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (downloaded over 25 million times) and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. Now with the launch of “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah and her co-host/husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames are keeping the conversation going by discussing the healing process with the help of experts and fellow survivors.Uncertain is a podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for those in the aftermath of Spiritual Abuse. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to like, subscribe, or leave a review on your favorite podcasting listening apparatus. You can support the podcast by going to TearsofEden.org/supportTo get in touch with us please email tearsofeden.org@gmail.comFollow on Instagram @uncertainpodcastTranscript is unedited for typos and misspellings:Katherine: Well, hello, Sarah, Sarah: how are you? I'm great. How are you Katherine: doing? Okay. Do you know? Okay. It has been gloomy and St. Louis and today the first sign of sunshine and I like went outside to like be in the sun, but it was 30 degrees. And so I didn't stay there very long, but. It's beautiful today. Beautiful to see the sun.How are, how's the weather in your area? Sarah: I'm in Atlanta. We're in our very brief winter and it's, it's, it's just a couple of weeks, I think. And it really fluctuates on a day to day basis and I have no idea what's in store and I'm just getting used to that as a concept. Yeah. Katherine: I just kind of ups and downs.Yeah. Yes. I have relatives in the Atlanta area and I hear about the bipolar weather. Of yeah, very [00:02:00] similar to St. Louis fun times. Well, thank you so much for being here and your openness to telling your story here. Really excited to hear from you just about The impact of your experience in NXIVM and then your recovery process.You also have your podcast, a little bit culty that I highly recommend to everyone. It's just entertaining. It's good stuff and you learn a lot, but then it's also super entertaining. And so I hope folks will listen to that as well, but you get to interact with a lot of cult survivors through that. And so I w I'm very interested to hear.Just patterns and things that you have seen as you have been doing your podcast and working with folks in this, this area. But just to just start us, start us off for folks who may not know who you are or have not seen the vow or maybe haven't. About on HBO or the, or have listened to your podcast and you give us a little summary of who you are and why you are here. Sarah: [00:03:00] Sure. So my cliff notes slash, you know, elevator story, which I've had to use a fair bit since moving to Atlanta is that I am, you know, from Canada, born and raised, I. I pursued acting as a teenager and young adult, and I took a little tangent, a little detour when I joined a personal and professional development program, which I was taking to help me with my goals as an actor and my relationship at the time.And that was really wonderful in many ways for a long time at first. And it ended up being 12 years later, after many missed red flags, I didn't understand what I was looking at. A high control group or some, some people know this term as a cult, but I realized there's basically bad things going on behind closed doors and the personal development program that I'd been touting for many years as an advocate and as a recruiter for the company.I say company loosely was really a front [00:04:00] for our pipeline, for the leadership. To coerce and manipulate and ultimately not in all cases and not not for me, but for many people sex traffic as well So that's why it is now known as the sex cult in the in the newsletter And I newsletter sorry in the newspapers The headlines media does love a good sensational story.Sure do. Yes, as they sure do. And my role in that was that I was one of the whistleblowers that showed the physical abuse, which is the physical manifestation of emotional abuse, which had been going on for years in the form of branding. And I showed that on the New York times cover and that led to an investigation and the trial and eventual conviction of the leader.Six week trial led to 120 year conviction of the leader. And that was I left six years ago. The trial was about four years ago and three years ago, two and a half years ago. My sense of time is a [00:05:00] little off. My husband and I were in a docuseries that, that documented this whole journey, how we got in and how we escaped on HBO max called the vow.And that really propelled us into this really interesting space where, where we were now sharing something that a lot of people could relate to is like, Oh, I would've, I would've totally joined that. And that's flipped the script as a lot up until then. So many people we encountered, especially since leaving and shouting from the rooftops, we were in a cult you know, they were watching it going.I could have, I could have fallen for that when that's very different when the past people would say I would never have fallen for that. And that's opened up a whole, you know, set of bizarre doors and opportunities for us as whistleblowers and survivors to speak about our experience. Educate people. And that's been like a phenomenally rewarding thing.And ironically, and I didn't say this at the beginning, I, one of the reasons I joined next team as well was to help people. I was, you know, I really enjoyed that process and [00:06:00] now I get to do it for real on the other side and help educate, shine light, prevent, help people get out. If they're already in something, help people heal.If they've already gotten out. All the different stages along the way and help families. And overall just bring awareness to this topic that is kind of become a lot more mainstream now. Narcissism, cultic abuse, gaslighting. It's much more accessible and people are more aware of it. So it's been an interesting time to be part of the zeitgeist in that way.And and then now we have a podcast that emerged in COVID when we had stopped acting. So it's been a interesting, organic progression to be a podcaster as I wrote a book and also and now doing more speaking events and panels on the topic. So yeah, here we are. There we are. Yeah. Cliff notes.Katherine: Yes. I remember watching the vow. I don't remember. I think it was in during COVID watching it and [00:07:00] had just left an abusive church. And that was cult cults like they're definitely very high control, very lot of, you know, stuff being hidden by religiosity and God speak and Jesus talk. And I, I, a lot of us.who had left were like, have you seen The Vow? Have you guys been watching The Vow? Are you watching The Vow? Because The Vow is like very, very, very similar to what we just went through. And I think that that was the thing that stood out to me as well as how engaging it was. And it just I was like, that sounds like Christianity, like so much of so much of the, the attraction and the way that like the evangelizing that was happening and the way that people were getting brought into this thing that, that was presented as this very good thing.And in some ways it seemed like it actually was a good thing. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that part of [00:08:00] it of like what attracted you to this. And like, what, what drew you in as a very professional human being? Sarah: Yeah. You know what? There's every single group that we've ever talked to anyone about in our podcast.There is always good stuff on the outside. And that's actually one of the first questions we ask people so that others can. See what some of those red flags are of like, you know, what's the catch with this perfect, shiny, amazing, happy community. Well, what, what drew me in was a number of things. And, and partly it was, you know, the age that I was.Where I was, you know, doing this acting work and it wasn't really filling my soul. It wasn't filling my cup in terms of like, this is not the meaningful work that I want to be doing. And the thought of. Cause really they offered a lot of things. The community was presented almost in a way that would appeal to whatever the person wants.And I later learned to do that for others. Like what, what is it that you're looking for? What I was looking for was a, [00:09:00] a community, a supportive, helpful community. I was looking for more meaning and purpose in my life being a, you know, Being in a Budweiser commercial wasn't like really that meaningful to me, even though it paid well, but it was like, this is not what I signed up for or what I wanted as an actor.And I've always been into personal development. I've always believed that. And I still believe actually that you can work on yourself or be, you know, be better or like work through. And there was a term that they used. I don't think I was really using this term before was limiting beliefs. That there's beliefs that we have, and I actually do believe that we have still believe that we have limiting beliefs about ourselves.Like Katherine: something like, I can't do it. Like, yeah. Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. Just like, you know, even as an actor, like even thinking things, thinking something like, which was had at the time, like I always get nervous and auditions, there's some beliefs under that about myself that caused me to be nervous. [00:10:00] Which would limit me about, you know, without, with auditions, cause that's like a big part of being an actor.So I really love the idea of working through my limiting beliefs, being, the best version of myself and, and striving to follow this model. And one of the things that appealed to me, I mean, I didn't like it at the beginning, but I eventually did like it after my first five day training, which is my first foray into Nexium is they offered this growth path in the form of.Like a martial arts system with different levels and stripes and colors and I liked that. Like I, there was something about that that was measurable for me. If I do this, I'll go to the next level and that, that appealed to me because an actor, we don't have that either, like get the job or you don't, you don't really know why you do or you don't, and you could do all the right things, but not actually go to the next level.So I liked the concept of being able to. Complete a task, work on a skill, and, and evolve. It was certainty. With certainty. Yeah, it was [00:11:00] certainty in a very uncertain world. Needless to say, I mean, it was all bullshit, but if it was what it was supposed to be, it would have been great. Katherine: Yeah. And if it is, if it is something that like is actually delivering what it's promising, then it would be a really awesome. Yes, exactly. Yeah, so, so those were some of the good things that drew you in just to create some context for folks what were some of the, like, things that started alarms, that started going off that were like, Hmm, maybe this isn't what it, what it's promising.Sarah: I mean, Honestly, there were, there were red flags right from the beginning, but I didn't know what I was looking at. If I had done, if I, if somebody invited me to something now that was. And with the education I have, I wouldn't have even signed the paperwork, let alone attended because I would have known, Oh, I'm feeling pressured and they're using a scarcity mentality in order to, you know, [00:12:00] like this is the only one.And when, you know, when are you going to do this and when are you going to change your life? And any hesitation I had would be. Proof of how I was not ready to commit to my goals. Like it was a lot of manipulation tactics just getting me there. And then once I was there a lot of red flags in regards to what I now know as setting the stage for future abuse.Even as simple as they said, like, you're going to feel uncomfortable and you're going to feel like you're going to, you're going to doubt that maybe even this is the right place for you to be. That internal dialogue is an indication of what they call the disintegration. So you're either integrated on a concept or disintegrated and any internal questioning was just a sign that you needed to work on something.I know. So, if you agree to that, which I did. Because I'm, I'm assuming that these people who, I just never, I never projected bad intent because that's the thing is when you give yourself over to a higher power or a higher authority, [00:13:00] you're saying, you know, better than I do. And tell me, tell me what to do.Tell me how to be. And I was, I was like, okay, well, I pay just paid like 20. 2, 100 is 2, 500 Canadian to spend five days in a room and I want to work on my issues. I am saying, I trust you. You got to tell me what you see and if what they're saying is different than how I feel, that's a problem. Katherine: Yeah, absolutely. Oh, and that's such a such an easy thing to happen and then it's presented as you're like to listen to someone else tell you and name you and tell you what you need to work on and listen to someone else outside of you is. Is held up as like a humble thing and like a character quality.Yes. And if you were to resist and ask questions or say, I don't feel comfortable with Sarah: this. And that's, Oh, then I'm also being defiant. Katherine: Yeah. Yeah. Or selfish or, or you don't want to work on your issues or you don't really care Sarah: about this. Yeah. I mean, they said that you should be able to ask [00:14:00] questions and put your hand up, but it was very clear when people did ask questions, you know, how they felt about that.And also like it was, I learned very quickly that there were names for the feelings I was having that weren't good. So I was just suppress them. And I want also, I'm a good girl, I want to be a good girl, I want to get it right, I like the gold stars. Yeah. I like the validation. Katherine: Absolutely. And there was a very clear like type of person that fit and you like, learned to Sarah: fit.Yes. I learned to fit and I wanted to get the, I wanted to go up the levels and I wanted to get the next stripe. And I learned to override the feelings because the other thing they said is like, you're here to work on your shit. You're here to work on your stuff. So. Yeah. You know, don't leave. We're just talking about these things.If the sash around your neck, there was a sash systems for the martial arts ranks. If that bothers you, why can't you even talk about it in a room? Like we're just talking about it. So I should be able to talk about it. And so therefore don't leave. If I'm leaving, I'm just running away from my issues.so [00:15:00] many double binds. We call them massive double. Katherine: Yes, literally the phrase that popped into my head. Yes. Well, I, I want folks to be able to hear your whole story. And so I'll just plug your book, which is called scarred. Correct. Sarah: Yes, thank you. And I don't know if you ever do giveaways on your podcast, but we can do that too.Katherine: Let's do it. Why not? Yeah, I haven't done one of those in a long time. Let's do it. And then a little bit culty, and then also the vow on HBO, or not HBO on max. So those are places that folks can get more. About your story and actually get your get your full story and all the details about that.And so I want to step into talking about the impact of this. And if you want to talk about the impact like while you were in it and like what, what this coercive control manipulation was doing to you while you were in it. And then very specifically after after you left, like how was so I'm going to ask you to tell us a little [00:16:00] bit about how you experienced this, this trauma showing up for you and what, what did this experience do to you?And if you want to also share some examples of just similar patterns you've seen in folks that you have been interviewing on your podcast as well. Yeah, just paint us a picture of what happens after this experience. Sarah: After leaving? Yes. I mean, there was many different stages, I would say, like I've been out for six years and there was a lot of just grief, like I was, I had a massive PTSD reaction or potentially CPTSD just from the sort of ongoing abuse, but I, in many ways, I was like kind of the, one of the least Can I swear on this podcast?I was one of the least fucked with because, because I was a recruiter and I brought so many people in many ways, they kind of left me alone. I, I had, I was in Vancouver. I was running, I had been running my center. Which is sort of like a. You know, a separate, like, it's sort of like a franchise. Like I had my, I had [00:17:00] my center and I was using the tools and the parts of the program that were good and that I liked.And I, you know, brought people in that were going up the pipeline to the leadership. So they kind of left me alone, but I, so I didn't have the same amount of. 100 percent commitment. Like I'd never moved to Albany. I'd never moved and given up my whole life. And I always had my foot in reality. In other words, like my foot outside of the compound, it wasn't an actual compound, but some people gave up everything to be there, you know?And so that kept me in many ways, it protected me and gave me a soft place to land. There's a lot of people I could go to and that I always knew that we. Were you know, people thought that we were in a cult. I, I knew that. And I, and I thought that they just didn't understand. Mm-Hmm. , right. I just, I was like, oh, they don't get it.And for, for the first couple of weeks. And, you know, I was just going through those people and being like, okay, you were right. And I'm sorry. And I'm really kind of fucked up right [00:18:00] now. Shouting from the rooftop and like doing all the stuff that we did to get the media attention and things like that so there was like different stages of first I was on this yeah rampage of like I got to take this thing down and I felt like I was one of the There's a few of us that were at the forefront of that and I think in many ways It was the ones that of us that could whereas other people were so had been so head fucked and so gaslit and so manipulated that they were like, you know, literally in bed depressed Couldn't move or, or just had to shut down and like pretend it never happened and move cities and like not even deal with it, which people dealt with it in different ways.My dealing with it was because I've been so public and so such a vouching you know, zealot. I was like a fundamentalist personal growth junkie. Yeah. This is the way, this is the only way, red flag, to person to, you know, to grow and to reach enlightenment or whatever. Like. And so then on the other side, I had to be just as loud.So that was like one big stage, and I spent [00:19:00] like a long time just on the phone with people, trying to de enroll them, trying to explain like, yes, I was branded, and no, I didn't consent, and no, I didn't know it was Keith's initials, and like, trying to show them that it was bad. And for the people who are real diehards, there's some people who still don't think that was bad.Because they've, they've so committed their lives to this path. They're so bought in and to look now and go like, Oh, maybe this isn't good is just too hard for them. Like they're just, yeah, it's Katherine: just too much given to it and it's Sarah: just, yeah, it's easier to go. No, this was good. You know, Keith may have. I've heard them say you know, this is, maybe he's not conventional, but he always, he's a good person.Like they, they can't even fathom that maybe he's a bad person. So. That was one of the stages also was like just reallycoming to terms with like I lost so many of my of my good friends and I and I and I lost them [00:20:00] quickly. I lost them overnight. So that was a big part of it. Like leaving my community again because I had some community and friends outside of it. I think that was partly what saved me. I, you know, I hadn't burnt all my bridges, I'd burnt many bridges, for sure, but not all of them.Thankfully there were some friendships I never touched, I never tried to recruit, even though I did try to recruit many people. So I'd say all of, you know, that was a big stage. And then and then I got pregnant. I got pregnant with my second child a couple years after we got out as I was writing a book.And that was, I was, I was really working through and like having a big catharsis with that process. And having to also say no to, like, I was at that time I was going to do a Tedx talk and I was going to do a bunch of things. I was like, that's gonna be too stressful. And I want to like create a safe, loving incubator for my baby.And that kind of forced me to block out a lot of the stuff that I've been doing. There was like a sort of an ongoing campaign still to [00:21:00] expose and destroy and I mean, by say destroy, like, Make sure that nobody else was recruited into NXIVM and those things happen. Like NXIVM itself does no longer exist.There's no company. Are there people who still believe Keith is good? Yes. So I, that's part of the reason why I'm still talking because I want to get everybody out. . And then, and then, and then I'd say that like, I'm most, I think it's a lifelong healing journey, but there's a lot of things that I've done over the years that have really propelled me to another level of healing and yeah, having kids being kind of forced to stay present and not be in that war, that campaign pulled me to another stage.And then there's just lots of things I do for self care that I wasn't kind of, I wasn't allowed to do. It just wasn't a lot of time for it. Purpose probably. Yeah. On purpose. Yeah. And just like family time and being able to change my schedule and do things like You know, go to the farmer's markets on the [00:22:00] weekend and the old days when in the cult days that like there was never a free weekend, there was never every weekend if there was a free weekend where there wasn't a training and be like, Who should we fly out from the mothership to like, do a coach summit or, you know, oh, there's nothing happening.Let's organize a, you know, nationwide or citywide barbecue and like, it'll be a great enrollment opportunity. Like every weekend there was something going on with the You know, with my center and you know, three nights a week as well, Monday and Wednesday. And anyways, it was like always just go, go, go, go, go.So to be able to get my, you know, reclaim my time and, and like clear my schedule, which I think anyone is in any kind of group doesn't realize until they get out of something and they clear their schedule. They're like, wow, there's so much time devoted to this thing. Right. Katherine: Absolutely. And then probably like a reward for that time commitment is always more and always more and always pushing and, and, and to some extent that's just like wired into our our society.So when we get into a group that's like that, that just [00:23:00] feels so, so normal. It's like, that's just what you do in this group. I remember being in the, the abusive church and like. It was going through a lot and a lot of people were leaving and there would be these like events that we would have every year.And there were a few times where we were like looking around and we're like, we've lost staff. We are exhausted. Can we just not do this event? Can we just Not do this this year, because we're so tired and the leadership was like, it was always like, you know, PR move like no we have to pretend like everything is fine and you have to present like a united front to the, to the, you know, congregation and like having to like, you know, just kind of power through these events, and there wasn't this like posture of like what's best.For you and care. I mean, like want to like intentionally care for this community. That idea of like, no, we know what's best for you and we know what's best. And this is what what's best looks like and always moving and always pushing. [00:24:00] And yeah, just that, that's that environment that I think so many people can relate with, even like a work culture, you know, like, just like.Work cultures can be like that too. And I think it's safe for us to say, well, then that's an unhealthy work culture. We're allowed to say that, like, we don't have to just say, this is just normal. This is just the way it is. Like, no, we can say that's toxic. Like that's not a, not a helpful environment. Did you have any else thing else you wanted to say just about Impact on you, the CPTSD, PTSD, like how is that showing up for you? Sarah: Yeah, I mean, again, different stages. There was a time at the beginning where I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I lost a ton of weight. I was just like, I was, Nippy called it sniper mode.We were just so hypervigilant. Yeah. I didn't know if we were being, you know, like, you know, spied on, if they were coming to get us. We just, yeah, we were a mess. That didn't last too, too long in the scheme of things, but I'm still a little [00:25:00] jumpy. Yeah. Like if, you know, it's so funny. I just said that my husband just made a loud nose in the kitchen and I was like, what was that?Like, you know, I've been broken into. So, you know, things like that. My trust in humanity is definitely restored. Like, it's amazing how, when we stepped away from that. That world, all these incredible people sort of showed up and you'd think maybe I wouldn't trust them right away. But I was like, I, I felt the difference to like a good versus, I wouldn't say bad person, but like, you know, I just, some, some angels showed up and kind of swooped us up and took really good care of us, especially the people that made the vow.Like that was a really wonderful experience and that impact of doing the vow. You know, that could have, that could have gone so many different ways. Like that could have, that could have been a shit show for us. And it wasn't. And like you said, you're, you and your friends were listening and watching going, have you seen the vow?I can tell you, I still get messages from people in all different groups and relationships, mostly things like different [00:26:00] religious offshoots or like particularly closed communities or like the Jehovah's witnesses, a ton of Mormons message, the Mormons especially were like, Oh my goodness, we were in lockdown watching tiger King.And then we were watching the vow and they're like, Holy shit, we're, you know, in a really not good situation. So that, that continues to be very rewarding for me. And, you know, I think that if had there not been so many silver linings from this experience. You know, I don't know if I would have like recovered like I, it was, it was such a, I didn't mention this before the betrayal, the betrayal wound is one of my, one of the things in my, my therapist, I call it therapist Dan Shaw helped me with and who's a, who's a narcissist expert really helped me see is that when you're people that you trust betray you on that level, it can be a wound that is, takes a while to heal.And these were like. People I considered family who knew what Keith was up to and they were lying to us. And that's something that I never, you know, [00:27:00] and I always say we underestimated people's capacity to lie. We just totally took things at face value. Oh, Keith is celibate. Oh, okay, cool. He doesn't need sex.Great. What are all these women around him? Oh, that's part of his team. Like, okay. mean, it's so obvious and I feel probably like I was very naive. Now, but, Katherine: and, yeah, I'm a trusting person, go into relationships thinking, oh, they're lying to me. Yeah. Most Sarah: people don't. Yeah. But I do, what I do know now, and I see in almost every group, there's some term for it, which is basically like in a group like ours and every, every group we've looked at, there's this sort of.Belief that it's okay to lie for the greater good, and it's okay to lie to protect the leader. Or, you know, for, there's some other greater reason it's okay to say, you know, no, we're not doing X, Y, and Z if it means to, to print like. The big picture. It's okay. The ends justify the means. Katherine: Yeah, that ends justify the mean things.Means [00:28:00] thing. You said that people came in like as you were leaving and kind of supported you and you said it felt different. Can you describe what that different feeling was? I mean, there was just no manipulation. Like I remember once having a conversation with, it wasn't even my therapist, just somebody who's a, who was a family friend who was a therapist. And I had shared briefly sort of what had happened and his first response was, wow, that sounds like.Sarah: That sounds really horrible. It sounds really hard. Mm-Hmm. And, and then I was like, whoa. Because in nex Im, if I shared, shared something that bad that had happened, the an the question would be, you know, well, how did you cause that? Mm-Hmm. , and you know, what, you know, or, or, or, how did you author that? Or, what's your responsibility in it?Mm-Hmm. . Or what's missing in you that you felt like you needed to create that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So all that kind of bullshit was, really upsetting. Katherine: It sounds like they believed Sarah: [00:29:00] you. Yeah, they believed me. Yeah. And that's, that's the thing. And also, I had a lot of moments like that where I was like, whoa.That other way was actually really bad. And I had no idea how toxic it was until I was No longer dealt with that way. Katherine: Yeah. Yeah. And in the church world, it's called the, the, the reverse of that is like, well, what's your responsibility or, you know, why don't you give, or you're being bitter or you're angry or whatever.And then, and then they'll call that accountability and character development and, and it's framed as this like good thing. When it's just. Invalidation and bypassing. Sarah: Yeah, I definitely see that in almost every religion is that people are shamed into like to not express a concern because then they're then they're complaining or they're stinking thinking or it's negative or whatever.So they learn to not say it so there's no there's no place to bring forward a concern. And that's a that's a really that's a [00:30:00] really, you know, great protective mechanism for somebody who's a. Cult a hole. Do you know what I mean? Like, or somebody who's just being a, you know wants to abuse power or do bad things if there's no place for the people around them to, to question it or say, you know, is this good or is this bad?Then that's, that makes the, the clo we call it the closed loop system, right? Katherine: Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. And all of the accountability is like outward towards everyone else, but then that like, yeah. Leader or leadership doesn't, it doesn't, they don't play by the same rules, Sarah: like, right. Well, that, and that was something also that I saw as a consistent thing is that all of the dogma and, and, you know, there's like a lot of great truth to taking responsibility for things that happen in your life and that's, it can be a good thing, but if it's always.It's always your fault. And the other person didn't have any responsibility. Then, and that's, that's something I say all the time. Wait, especially in XM. There's no victims and you create everything in your life. Now, Keith is in jail. And he's the [00:31:00] victim. Like he's the victim of the like, Oh, the FBI plan. Oh, the FBI must have planted evidence.Oh, but, but Keith, how did you cause this? How did you get yourself into jail? Like, where is that? Where is it now? Where is it now? You know, and that, that's, that's such a huge inconsistency and inconsistencies are something that if you, you know, you bring up then you're. Not trusting the process or in the yoga communities, like you have resistance.What's with your resistance? Katherine: Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah. Like the inconsistency thing in the as a, as a red flag is, is something that's It seems to happen a lot. And these groups, there's a, there's a double standard where there's between two different people or it's between the leadership and everyone else or whatever.That double standard inconsistency is definitely something that pops up I would love to hear from you just a little bit about. Recovery has been like, [00:32:00] and what are things that have helped you? Sarah: Again, different stages. I think the biggest part of my recovery at first was just talking about it and being with other X members and being able to speak freely without the shackles of the language constraints to be able to say, Oh, Oh, remember that time when so and so did this.That was a really mean thing to do. We never could have talked that way because that would have been. You know, breaking rank and, you know, all sorts of rules, broken images, expressing that way. And I didn't realize how suppressed I was. I couldn't go up line in my, in the authoritarian, you know, thing because they didn't get in trouble.And if I went down, that's bad leadership. So I was kind of like, you know, hogtied. I could talk to my husband, which is, I think, kind of a rare situation. And most people in my situation, we just couldn't talk to anybody. And also Mark Vicente, who was the person who brought me in. If you've seen The Vow, he's the director that.That brought me in, but also got me out. So speaking about it, and then you know, Reclaiming my time educating [00:33:00] myself. I did a lot of watching of other documentaries and podcasts and movies and all sorts of things that really helped me connect the dots. And I have notes from my early days of watching movies like going clear and Scientology or holy hell about Buddhafield and just seeing.Like, holy shit. This is the, it's, it's the exact same. Like really even in our podcast, every time we interview someone, it's like the, it's the exact same template. Yeah. I mean, some of the content, yeah, some of the content points. It always the same school and learned. We did the same school, even like with holy hell, the leaders doing this, forced ballet classes and with us it was volleyball.But it's the same kind of like obsession with this one thing. Physical, yeah. Just yes. And like, you got to get this thing right, but the performance and the adulation of the leader and all that stuff. So that was really helpful. And then there's a lot of things that I've done, I guess. So therapy wise at different stages, having an actual cult therapist was really helpful for me.And I saved a lot of time there because not only did he understand the dynamics, but he actually already knew [00:34:00] Nexium, which was great. So if I said, well, Nancy did this to me once, or Keith said this to me or whatever, he knew what I was talking about. Having a psychologist that didn't have cult training was laborious, but also really helpful because I would have to explain things that, that I realized, like, as, as explaining it, I was out of deprogramming myself.You know, in one particular moment I was saying to him, Oh, well, in our, in our belief system, we. Believed that needs were like survival based, you know, air, shelter, water, whatever. And anything else was considered a desire and therefore a non integrated fixation. You need to work on like, why did you think you needed this thing to be okay?Love, connection, community, blah, blah, blah. So then he, I remember, cause he didn't know anything about cults and he was like, well, those are needs to survive. But what about needs to thrive? And I was like, Oh, they didn't want us to thrive. And I always thought that the people in Albany who live there look fricking miserable.And I was like, [00:35:00] that's why they were miserable. They weren't allowed to have a career or relationship because then they were, they were shamed into like, that that was just a deficiency based desire. In other words, there's something wrong with you that you're even searching. Like, why do you even need that from the outside world to be complete?So that was you know, an interesting process to have a you know, a cult. A therapist and then a regular therapist, but I think a lot of my therapy came from just talking and educating myself and talking to other survivors. And then there's a whole series of things that I've done and continue to do.Like I'm, I do yoga, but I do like a not culty yoga. Like there's no dogma. There's no education. There's no leader. There's no, it's just more of like a fitness thing. Because that's how I protect myself, like I don't do kundalini or, yeah, like that. I walk a lot, you know, after this podcast, I will walk and, and like, clear my mind.Some like sort of spiritual, somebody, some might say woo woo practices that I do, but there's no It's not, it's not like a [00:36:00] tied to a certain school or program. It's just like a little practice here, a little practice there. I take my green juice. I'm very health oriented. I'm all about like getting good sleep and all the things that we weren't allowed.Like I remember when I started Nexium, I was They would say I have, I would have had an attachment to comfort because I was like, I'm getting my eight hours. And they're like, well, why do you think you need eight hours? And I'm like, well, that's just what, how I function best. And I'm like, why do you think that would if it's a limiting belief?And by the end of it, I was having like four or five hours of sleep a night to prove to them how much sleep I didn't need and how I could be like such a bad ass, you know, but really I do need, like I, I do best on as much sleep as I possibly can get. So prioritizing that and prioritizing what's right for me and not going with somebody else.Going on what somebody else says is right for me has been also huge. A lot of baths. I take Epsom salt baths for my CPTSD almost every night. Putting a lot of money on hot water. I'm sure. Katherine: Hey, it's very sensory and it like, yeah, it's you and [00:37:00] your body. It helps you be present. It's Sarah: yes. Yes. And you could cut this out if you want, but I also microdose psilocybin a fair bit, which also does, does all of those things keeps me, my body has to be present.I don't get, I'm not doing it to hallucinate or get high on mushrooms, but it just helps me not be anxious. Yes. So yeah, that's, that's kind of, those are my main, lots of variety. Yeah. Lots of variety. And oh, and hiking, I like love being in nature and that's like super important to me. I try to get out at least once a week.Katherine: What would you say this is something that like is I think just like a constant question that a lot of folks have and something that I'm, I'm kind of exploring as well is like the difference between having someone help you like a therapist and like that language versus a guru who was like telling you what to do and like, what does it feel like to have that difference.Or what does that difference feel like? [00:38:00] Sarah: Yeah, I'd say that that like a healthy therapist feels like they're on a journey with me and they're just, , questioning and , it's like they're going down in the cave with me. We're both shining lights and we're looking together. Whereas the, the guru approach or, you know, like an axiom, I always felt like there was literally like a.Such a power power difference. Like I'm sitting down here and they would be sitting up there like even the seats were raised and we're kind of looking up at and tell me what to do, like, what do you think and Reclaiming that has been definitely been a huge part of my healing.Katherine: Yeah, so the guru is more like the expert Mm hmm or life telling you how to do it Sarah: And I have to be so careful with that too, because I do love to give people unsolicited advice. You know, especially in our podcast. I do like to be Katherine: like, that's not a good thing. Don't do this. Sarah: And I'm like, you really need to be taking more baths.Okay. I'm just kidding. But I'm like, well, what, how do I try to phrase it now? I was like, this is what's worked [00:39:00] for me. This is what works for me. And you can do whatever you want. I don't care. Katherine: Yeah, no, I like the phraseology. I have to do the same thing. It's like, well, you know, I have that same situation and this is what I try.Yeah. Do with that what you'll exactly. Yeah. And then that would be as opposed to someone who is like, partnering with you in this journey and, and just like being empathetic to the experience rather than telling Yes. That they know better what you need than you do. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. I love that.That's great. Any, any final things that you would like to share as we wrap up put all of your information in the show notes, but if you have any information that you want to give folks about how to interact with you, Sarah: I mean, I'd say like if they want to know the full story, my book in combination with the vow, I think is a really good balance because the vow has my story, but also massive gaps in some things that happen.But the vow [00:40:00] has a lot of other people's stories. And if you want to go down an axiom rabbit hole, there's tons of other memoirs out there. But I think that our podcast I've, I've been told is very therapeutic for people of all different groups, religions you know, even abuse situations because you're hearing the stories from different, different people's perspectives that.You're not maybe necessarily as attached to like defending or being protective of your group, whatever that is. So when you hear when other people's stories, you're like, Oh yeah, I relate to that. And it can be, well, it's free. It's free therapy. So not that it's not in lieu of therapy. I'm not saying like, don't do therapy, but it's gonna be a bonus.And I also say, like, there's some episodes that will resonate and some that won't. Just skip them. You don't have, you don't have to listen to all of them. If it's something that that, that is resonant for people, there's a, we're also on Patreon and we do a lot, we do another bonus episode every week.And that's more casual. And we answer questions from the audience. We do voicemails. And we also have a Goodreads account. I recommend a lot of books [00:41:00] and I interview a lot of authors. So all of the books that we love are on our little bit culty Goodreads account. And I think the best way if you want to just reach out to me personally is on my Instagram.I, I answer every message. A little bit culty is a little bit backlogged, but people can check us out there as well. And if they want to be a guest, a little bit culty, they can apply through our website. Oh, the one thing I would say also that's really cool, I think that I did recently is a TEDx talk.I don't know if you had a chance to see it or hear it. Yeah. It's 15 minutes of like the summary of why people need to educate themselves about cults. It's very, it's like a lot. It's like some people call it the best of a little bit culty in a very short period of time. So it's a lot of quick nuggets.Yeah. And I think, I think your community would like it. Katherine: That sounds good. I might reach out to you. I might reach out to you later about that because a couple of years ago I had talked to someone about doing a TEDx talk about spiritual abuse and they kind of discouraged me from [00:42:00] it because it's supposed to be inspirational and it didn't, they're like, Sarah: that's inspirational.Well TEDx actually has some kind of like a little bit quality rules. Like you can't talk about politics or religion. Okay. It's in, it's in their rule book. But. So talking about spiritual abuse, I don't know how you would frame it in a different way. You have to frame it in a different way. Yeah. Go ahead and talk about spiritual bypassing and just not mention religion.Ah, Katherine: yeah, that's true. True, true, true. Cool. Well, thank you so much for giving us your time. I'm excited to just see what, see what develops. Thank you for all the work Sarah: that you're doing. My absolute pleasure. It's, it's a total joy to talk about and I will continue to talk about it until everybody is out.So everyone. Yes. Free the slaves. Katherine: Free the slaves.

Sarah Edmondson has been a working actor for 25+ years, but she is most well-known for her real-life role in the downfall of the notorious NXIVM cult.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, an acclaimed memoir chronicling her harrowing experience. Her story as a whistleblower has also been featured in the CBC podcast “Uncover: Escaping NXIVM” and “The Vow”, the critically-acclaimed HBO documentary series.In 2021, Sarah launched the A Little Bit Culty podcast with her husband Anthony ‘Nippy' Ames, on a mission to shine much-needed light on issues of cultic abuse and undue influence. With nearly 5M downloads to date and guests like Eckhart Tolle and Leah Remini, it has become a powerful platform and connective space for cult-survivors, recovery advocates, and mind-control experts alike.A mom of two boys, Sarah continues to work as an actor and podcaster from her home in Atlanta while making time to attend conferences and events around the world as a speaker and cult-recovery advocate.

On this bonus episode of Crime Writers On, we'll take a look back at our October 1, 2018 review of the CBC's "Uncover: Escaping NXIVM.OUR SPOILER-FREE REVIEWS OF "ESCAPING NXIVM" BEGIN IN THE FINAL 3 MINUTES OF THE EPISODE.

Sarah Edmonson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames are cult escapees and were the whistleblowers featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. If you are still somehow unfamiliar, NXIVM was an American cult that dabbled in sexual slavery among a handful of other evil crimes. Sarah and Nippy played a major role in locking up NXIVM's creepy weirdo POS founder for 120 years. This week Sarah and Nippy sit down with the fellas to dive deep into their experience with escaping a cult, how it affected their mental health and relationship, along with tips for communicating with friends or family that might find themselves dealing with abusive power dynamics in their own life. Be sure to check out their podcast A Little Bit Culty where Sarah and Nippy aim to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations, one little red flag at a time. Join the post-episode conversation over on Discord! https://discord.gg/expeUDN

Sarah Edmonson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames are cult escapees and were the whistleblowers featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. If you are still somehow unfamiliar, NXIVM was an American cult that dabbled in sexual slavery among a handful of other evil crimes. Sarah and Nippy played a major role in locking up NXIVM's creepy weirdo POS founder for 120 years. This week Sarah and Nippy sit down with the fellas to dive deep into their experience with escaping a cult, how it affected their mental health and relationship, along with tips for communicating with friends or family that might find themselves dealing with abusive power dynamics in their own life. Be sure to check out their podcast A Little Bit Culty where Sarah and Nippy aim to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations, one little red flag at a time. Join the post-episode conversation over on Discord! https://discord.gg/expeUDN

What a treat to start our season 2 with A Little Bit Culty podcast hosts (and NXIVM cult survivors) Sarah Edmonson and Nippy Ames! Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM. In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out. Her full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (downloaded over 25 million times) and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. Now with the launch of “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah and her co-host/husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames are keeping the conversation going by discussing the healing process with the help of experts and fellow survivors. As an aspiring actor and former college athlete, Anthony “Nippy” Ames was drawn to NXIVM's goals program. In his 12 years with the organization, he rose steadily up the ranks as a teacher, built centers in New York and Vancouver, and even met his now wife, “A Little Bit Culty” co-host Sarah Edmondson there. But when he learned that the company was, in fact, a dangerous cult, he wasted no time in doing exactly what needed to be done: helping burn its carefully constructed public image to the ground. With NXIVM's notorious founder now behind bars facing a brisk 120-year sentence, Nippy isn't planning on going quiet anytime soon. As Executive Producer of the “A Little Bit Culty” podcast, Nippy has come full circle back to what he was born to do: performing, creating, and truth telling. He's proving to be an emerging voice in the conversation around what it means to be an upstanding man, husband, and father in 2021.

*TRIGGER WARNING* This episode includes subjects of sexual, mental and physical abuse. Join me today as Sarah shares with us her story of escaping NXIVM and exposing the cult leader. Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out of NXIVM, collaborate with the FBI, help others, and heal.Sarah's full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast “Uncover: Escaping NXIVM” (downloaded over 25 million times) and “The Vow”, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM.Now with the launch of her own podcast, “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah is keeping the conversation going by exploring the fads, beliefs, and trends that blur the line between devotion and dysfunction. Co-hosted by her husband and fellow NXIVM whistleblower Anthony “Nippy” Ames, the podcast is part conversational coffee date and part deep dive on everything from Waco to lululemon. And while there was nothing small about Sarah's cult experience, “A Little Bit Culty” is grounded in her mission to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations, one little red flag at a time.Find Sarah on IG @sarahedmondson @alittlebitculty @igotout_org Follow the #igotout❇️Get her book here https://www.sarahedmondson.com/book✳️Check out her amazing list of resources https://www.sarahedmondson.com/resources❇️ Listen to her Podcast https://www.alittlebitculty.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week I had the privilege of speaking to Sarah Edmondson, defector of the NXIVM cult and author of "Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped the Cult that Bound My Life."  In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM. Sarah's full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast “Uncover: Escaping NXIVM” (downloaded over 25 million times) and “The Vow”, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM.  In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out of NXIVM, collaborate with the FBI, help others, and heal. Sarah is keeping the conversation via her own podcast, "A Little Bit Culty,"  by exploring the fads, beliefs, and trends that blur the line between devotion and dysfunction. Co-hosted by her husband and fellow NXIVM whistleblower Nippy, the podcast is part conversational coffee date and part deep dive on everything from Waco to lululemon. And while there was nothing small about Sarah's cult experience, “A Little Bit Culty” is grounded in her mission to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations, one little red flag at a time. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zoescurletis/support

Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. Her upcoming Hallmark film, Roadhouse Romance airs this fall. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out of NXIVM, collaborate with the FBI, help others, and heal.Sarah's full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (downloaded over 25 million times) and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM.Now with the launch of her own podcast, “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah is keeping the conversation going by exploring the fads, beliefs, and trends that blur the line between devotion and dysfunction. Co-hosted by her husband and fellow NXIVM whistleblower Anthony “Nippy” Ames, the podcast is part conversational coffee date and part deep dive on everything from Lululemon to Waco. And while there was nothing small about Sarah's cult experience, “A Little Bit Culty” is grounded in her mission to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations one little red flag at a time.Support the show (https://pod.fan/the-dude-therapist)

Support the Show:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboys Purchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast_______________________________________________________On this episode, Eric Skwarczynski sits down with Sarah Edmondson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames to talk about their time inside NXIVM.Pick up a copy of Sarah's book here: https://amzn.to/3f9hF6w_______________________________________________________ABOUT SARAH:Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out. Her full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (downloaded over 25 million times) and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. Now with the launch of “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah and her co-host/husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames are keeping the conversation going by discussing the healing process with the help of experts and fellow survivors.ABOUT NIPPY:As an aspiring actor and former college athlete, Anthony “Nippy” Ames was drawn to NXIVM's goals program. In his 12 years with the organization, he rose steadily up the ranks as a teacher, built centers in New York and Vancouver, and even met his now-wife, “A Little Bit Culty” co-host, Sarah Edmondson, there. But when he learned that the company was, in fact, a dangerous cult, he wasted no time in doing exactly what needed to be done: helping burn its carefully constructed public image to the ground.With NXIVM's notorious founder now behind bars facing a brisk 120-year sentence, Nippy isn't planning on going quiet anytime soon. As Executive Producer of the “A Little Bit Culty” podcast, Nippy has come full circle back to what he was born to do: performing, creating, and truth-telling. He's proving to be an emerging voice in the conversation around what it means to be an upstanding man, husband, and father in 2021.________________________________________________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:preacherboysdoc.comhttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdochttps://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community who share the Preacher Boys Podcast mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Three years ago, if you were one of the women who had been victimized by Keith Raniere, the man seemed untouchable. Raniere was the leader of the cult-like self help group NXIVM. On October 27th, that all changed. In a U.S. federal courtroom, Keith Raniere was sentenced to 120 years—having been convicted of a slew of crimes. During the trial and sentencing, victims came forward about how the self-professed empowerment “vanguard” had turned some of his followers into sex slaves and branded them with his initials. Josh Bloch investigated Raniere in his podcast UNCOVER: Escaping NXIVM. He joined Jayme to break down the case. This is an encore of their October conversation.

On this episode Shane and Sally make an official correction about the upcoming Uncharted movie. Then they talk once again about the design/appearance of the PS5. Then Shane is joined by Jon (@gurglespasm), co-host of One Shot network’s System Mastery podcast, to talk about the weird and wonderful world of Blaseball, including its best lore, and advice for Blaseball n00bs to get involved in the upcoming new season. They also talk about the games they’re playing right now, including Hades, League of Legends Clash, and If Found....Things we talked about:Why Do People Care So Much About How a PlayStation 5 Looks in Their Home?-What Shane’s excited about: Overwatch Git Gud Tournament-What Sally’s excited about: Uncover: Escaping NXIVM from CBC Podcasts, The Vow (HBO), Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (STARZ)

Recognize this guy? He was my guest on Episode 19, where we explored his amazing work on the CBC podcast, UNCOVER: Escaping NXIVM! That's right, it's Josh Bloch - my first returning guest - this time to discuss his latest work, the UCP Audio podcast, The Lost Kids, which focuses on the troubled teen industry- and guess what? It has possible roots to a bizarre cult - I am seeing a theme here. Josh is a talented journalist and I love how he thinks and how he reports his findings. If you haven't already, be sure to check out The Lost Kids and let me know what you think. Also, if you want to watch the live event I did with with Tori Telfer ( my 1st guest!) about NXIVM and other cults, you can watch it here. Finally, this is the book that Josh references that I want to make available as a resource following his podcast. Help At Any Cost by Maia Szalavitz. Looking to support DIE-ALOGUE? I recently joined Anchor as the show's new podcast platform and you can easily support the podcast through their site, just click here to donate! Please consider rating and reviewing the show! This means so much to me and also helps listeners discover DIE-ALOGUE. DIE-ALOGUE is a Yellow Tape Media Production. Hosted by Rebekah Sebastian. Edited by Chris Gersbeck. Original theme music by Olivia Himes. Don't forget we are on Twitter, Instagram + FB: @diealoguepod Use the hashtag #diealoguepod on social media! KILL THE SMALL TALK. START A DIE-ALOGUE. --- This episode is sponsored by · The Daily Shine Podcast: The Daily Shine is a podcast-meets-meditation forum that helps listeners navigate their stress and anxiety. https://open.spotify.com/show/0q5HKfqOiwSh2bwsiz2keP --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/diealoguepod/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/diealoguepod/support

The story of how Keith Raniere became an international self-help guru — and, later, a convicted sex-cult leader — is one of those cautionary tales that’s not unfamiliar. A man who is a master of manipulation, able to seduce, exploit, alienate and control countless individuals after developing keen abilities to select precise prey, bait them, and slowly coerce them into doing exactly what he wants. In episode 95, Jac, Alexis and Billy are joined by Josh Block of the podcast, Uncover: Escaping NXIVM as they dig into the cult that branded women, controlled their entire lives and eventually was brought to justice.

[CW: sexual abuse; branding; cults] Actress Sarah Edmondson doesn't seem like the kind of person who would get swept up in a cult – and not just get swept up into a cult, but become one of its biggest recruiters and champions. And yet that is part of Sarah's story – as is how Sarah escaped the cult, and worked to bring it down.Sarah Edmondson recounted her story in the first season of CBC Podcasts' hit series, Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, and on the front page of the New York Times, where she was pictured folding down the front of her jeans to reveal the angry red scar that she received as part of a cult branding ritual. More recently, she wrote a deeply personal memoir: Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, The Cult That Bound My Life.In this poignant and emotionally raw interview, Sarah Edmondson discusses the impact that the NXIVM cult had on her spirit and body as well as on the Vancouver film and television community, and what she wants next as she moves forward in her acting career with NXIVM in her rear-view mirror. Episode sponsor: UBCP/ACTRA

Join Ian Hanomansing and the hosts of Uncover, Missing and Murdered and Hunting Warhead as they share never-before-told stories from their podcasts in front of a live audience at the Hot Docs Podcast Festival. Josh Bloch asks if he was duped by his friend and subject of Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, Sarah Edmondson. Connie Walker reveals why she became a journalist and her hidden motivation behind her true crime podcast Missing and Murdered. Justin Ling, host of Uncover: The Village dives deep into Hollywood's connection to so-called "homosexual murders." Uncover: Sharmini host Michelle Shephard shares her approach for getting subjects to talk, and Daemon Fairless, host of Hunting Warhead questions if we should show sympathy to pedophiles.

Josh Bloch is a talented journalist with CBC radio, host of the UNCOVER: Escaping NXIVM Podcast, and all around,, super nice guy! I was thrilled when we agreed to be a guest because I could talk about Keith Raniere, Allison Mack, and NXIVM endlessly. And we do. Josh shared his POV on true crime and hints at his next project which sounds very different, though similarly intense. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did! You can listen to UNCOVER: Escaping NXIVM here.  You can keep up with Josh on twitter.  As always, if you liked this episode and enjoy this podcast, be sure to subscribe, and please rate + review on iTunes! Leaving a review for those who have yet to discover the show! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/die-alogue-a-true-crime-conversation-podcast-trailer/id1470890320?i=1000443269373 DIE-ALOGUE is a Yellow Tape Inc. Production. Hosted by Rebekah Sebastian. Edited by Chris Gersbeck. Original theme music by Olivia Himes. Don't forget we are on Twitter, Instagram + FB now: @diealoguepod Use the hashtag #diealoguepod on social media! Thanks for killing the small talk and starting a DIE-ALOGUE with me!  xo, Rebekah  

The team behind season one of Uncover: Escaping NXIVM takes us inside the trial of NXIVM co-founder Keith Raniere and speaks with former member of the group Sarah Edmondson about her thoughts on the trial.

On Monday, NXIVM member and former Smallville actress Allison Mack pleaded guilty in a New York court to racketeering charges for her role in a cult-like group called NXIVM. Mack is one of several high-ranking NXIVM members who have been charged with manipulating women into becoming sex slaves for Keith Raniere, the group's leader, among other charges. Today on Front Burner, Josh Bloch, host of CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, reports on what we've now learned about the secretive organization.

Mary Payne welcome Josh Bloch, creator of Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, a CBC investigative podcast series about the group (pronounced “nexium”) that calls itself a humanitarian community but that experts call a cult. The show discusses its leader Keith Raniere and one woman's journey to get out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brandon, Manitoba. An independent 18 year old tells her mom she’ll be back in an hour, gets into a car, and is never seen again. Was she just out partying for several days, or was there something more sinister at play? Where was Erin Chorney?See more information on gender-based violence and where to get helpSupport my sponsors! Here's where the discount codes are:www.canadiantruecrime.ca/sponsorsPodcast recommendations:UNCOVER: Escaping NXIVM by CBCThunder Bay by CANADALAND MediaThe Secret Life of WeddingsJoin my patreon to get early episodes - without any of the ads! - and more: www.patreon.com/canadiantruecrime Credits:Research and writing: Haley GrayVoice of Erin Chorney (in her diaries): Lisa Mark Hines from The Secret Life of WeddingsAudio production: Erik KrosbyWriting, narration and music arrangement: Kristi LeeDisclaimer voiced by the host of Beyond Bizarre True CrimeAll credits and information sources will be found on the page for this episode at www.canadiantruecrime.ca.Support the show. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Podcasts reviewed in this episode: DR DEATH - a story about a charming surgeon, 33 patients and a spineless system. SILENT WAVES - a true story led by 25 year old Raquel O’Brien, as she attempts to liberate herself from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse and a father with a dark secret. UNCOVER: ESCAPING NXIVM - an investigative podcast series about the group, its leader Keith Raniere and one woman's journey to get out. From CBC Podcasts. LADIES, WE NEED TO TALK - a podcast for women, by women, that isn’t afraid to dive head first into the tricky topics we often avoid talking about. Join host Yumi Stynes as she tears open the sealed section on life. Episode: Perimenopause - coming to a uterus near you: Join us for more PodSoup at https://www.facebook.com/podsoup https://www.instagram.com/podsoup_podcast https://www.twitter.com/podsoup_podcast Links to the podcasts reviewed in this episode: Dr Death – https://wondery.com/shows/dr-death/ Silent Waves – https://www.silentwavespodcast.com/ UNCOVER-Escaping NXIVM – https://www.cbc.ca/radio/uncover/listen-to-uncover-escaping-nxivm-1.4675949 Ladies We Need to Talk - https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/ladies-we-need-to-talk/

Stephen Metcalf, Julia Turner, and Dana Stevens discuss Jim Carrey and Michel Gondry's new show Kidding, the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, and the purpose and practice of dad jokes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stephen Metcalf, Julia Turner, and Dana Stevens discuss Jim Carrey and Michel Gondry's new show Kidding, the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM, and the purpose and practice of dad jokes. This episode is brought to you by Intel Optane Memory. Learn more about the speed and responsiveness of Optane at intel.com/youcould. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Serial episode 3, "Misdemeanor, Meet Mr. Lawsuit," Sarah looks into the issue of how the police interact with the African-American population in their communities. A large topic writ small through the story of one arrest in a hallway. Which one of the crime writers says this is the best single episode of Serial ever? Then the panel discuss the new CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM. The distinctive Canadian presentation style takes on an alleged sex cult. (Want to skip to our spoiler-free review? The time code is 1:04:06) In Crime of the Week: game over. (Thanks to listener Kevin Carroll for contributing this COTW!) DONATE TO KEVIN'S WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES EVENT, OCT 3, BY CLICKING HERE. SEE TOBY AT THE CHARLOTTE VT PUBLIC LIBRARY OCT 4. JOIN OUR PATREON TO GET ACCESS TO LARA'S RAGE WALK FB GROUP! SPONSORS THIS EPISODE bioClarity - get 15% off with code CRIME at bioClarity.com Simple Contacts - get $20 off at simplecontacts.com/CWO20 or enter code CWO20 at checkout Daily Harvest - Go to daily-harvest.com and enter promo code CRIME to get three cups free Rothy's - free shipping on your Rothy’s shoe when you go to Rothys.com and enter CRIME  Handy - go to handy.com/crime and use code CRIME to get your first 3-hour cleaning for $39 Evelyn & Bobbie - go to evelynbobbie.com and use code CRIME to get a free pair of knickers with any purchase Support the show.

NXIVM calls itself a humanitarian community. Experts call it a cult. Uncover - the new investigative series from CBC Podcasts - looks into the group, its leader Keith Raniere and one woman's journey to get out. Subscribe to Uncover: Escaping NXIVM now.

Joseph Massino was the legendary godfather of the Bonnano crime family, known as ‘The Last Don’ of a generation. And he absolutely crushed anyone who went against the mafia code of silence or 'Omerta.' But when the family was infiltrated by the legendary undercover agent Donnie Brasco, it spelled the end for the Bonannos and for the Mafia. Our sponsors for this episode are [Uncover: Escaping NXIVM](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uncover/id1364665348?mt=2) [](http://www.cbc.ca/radio/sks)podcast and [SimpliSafe](https://simplisafe.com/mafia). Mafia's theme is "Spellbound Hell" by [Damiano Baldoni](http://damianobaldoni.altervista.org/index.php/en/). Music in this episode is "Misery" by Damiano Baldoni; “Hiding Your Reality”, “Nerves”, “Comfortable Mystery 2 & 3” by [Kevin MacLeod](https://incompetech.com/). Sound Effects from [freesound.org](https://freesound.org/home/) by [hopflog](https://freesound.org/people/hopflog/sounds/), [14g-panska](https://freesound.org/people/14G_Panska_Vagnerova_Adela/sounds/), and [vibe-crc](https://freesound.org/people/vibe_crc/sounds/). Licensed under [Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/).

The team behind season one of Uncover: Escaping NXIVM takes us inside the trial of NXIVM co-founder Keith Raniere and speaks with former member of the group Sarah Edmondson about her thoughts on the trial.