Podcasts about preacher boys

In this episode, Travis and his producer Eric break down what it really looks like to make money as a content creator when you're not pulling MrBeast numbers or signing eight‑figure brand deals. Instead, they focus on the realistic—and highly achievable—lane of “middle class creators”: people earning $1,000–$5,000 per month from content as a side income (or lean full‑time if you keep expenses low). They also share real revenue numbers from Eric's channel, plus examples of small brick‑and‑mortar businesses using short‑form content to turn marketing into a profit center instead of a pure expense. On this episode we talk about: Why most creators should aim for “middle class” money first instead of chasing MrBeast‑level outcomes How Eric built a niche show (Preacher Boys) into a $2.6k/month side income through ads, sponsors, and platform payouts The importance of loving your topic enough to talk about it for free for years How one Zoom interview episode on YouTube alone brought in over $1,500 in ad revenue Why you should spread income across YouTube, podcast ads, Facebook bonuses, sponsors, and Patreon Brick‑and‑mortar examples like the LED sign guy and the “pancake lady” turning simple videos into customers and creator checks Why every post is a “lottery ticket” for new opportunities, from documentaries to brand deals How business owners can get to the point where their marketing actually gets paid by platforms Top 3 Takeaways You don't need millions of followers to make meaningful money; a focused niche, consistent publishing, and multiple small revenue streams can add up to a solid side income that may evolve into full time. Content creation is front‑loaded work and back‑loaded payoff—expect years of low or no pay before the inflection point where old episodes start earning hundreds or thousands of dollars each. If you own a business, learning to create simple, personality‑driven content can turn your advertising from a cost center into a profit center—platforms and sponsors can effectively subsidize your marketing. Notable Quotes “If you're not excited about the first dollar you made, you're not going to be excited about the first thousand.” “Hourly, I used to be making maybe a dollar an hour—now a single Zoom interview can bring in over $1,500 on YouTube alone.” “Historically, every form of advertising cost you money; now your marketing can actually pay you." ✖️✖️✖️✖️

In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/  sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com  Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/   Link Tree   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo

Our conversation with Katie about her recent research into abuse in churches. We touch on how background contributes, the many kinds of abuse, how it becomes so prevalent, possible paths forward toward safer churches, and more.TW: Sexual AssaultAdditional Resources: Katie's Paper "Silent No More", Podcast with Ruthy Heiler, PBS Article on Abuse Prevention in Catholic Churches, Best Practices on Outside InvestigationsRelated Podcasts: Our Interview with Olivia Olds, Our Story, Episode in the Authority Principle, Interview with Beth White on Preacher Boys

In this episode of the Preacher Boys podcast, Eric Skwarczynski sits down with Dr. Diane Langberg, a psychologist with over 50 years of experience, to discuss her new book, "When the Church Harms God's People." Dr. Langberg shares her insights on trauma, abuse within faith communities, and the importance of prioritizing individual well-being over institutional success. Drawing from her extensive experience, she offers practical advice for pastors, ministry leaders, and individuals seeking to create safer and healthier church environments.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Our Sponsors:* Use promo code preacherboys at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/preacherboysSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Read about growing up within a patriarchal fundamentalist religion from a female perspective:https://open.substack.com/pub/thebubbleverse/p/cant-keep-sweet?r=2xfl7u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true ✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️Bill Maher recently took aim at Nike's Super Bowl commercial, which celebrated the growth and resilience of female athletes despite constant adversity and culturally-imposed limitations.The ad was narrated by rapper Doechii and featured nine female athletes: Jordan Chiles, Caitlin Clark, A'ja Wilson, JuJu Watkins, Sabrina Ionescu, Alexia Putellas, Aryna Sabalenka, Sha'Carri Richardson and Sophia Smith. It ended with the powerful tagline: “Whatever you do, you can't win — so win.”The ad had it's fair share of praise and critics, with TV host Bill Maher planting his flag in the latter camp.On a recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, (airdate 2.14.25), called the message of the commercial a “zombie lie.”“It means like something used to be true, and it stopped being true. And then people kept saying it. I feel like this is a giant zombie lie,” Maher argued. “I mean, when was the last time a woman was told, ‘You can't do this? You can't be confident?' Who are these imaginary, mean old men of the patriarchy?”Well, Bill, “the mean old men of the patriarchy” aren't imaginary. In fact, they are all across America. In fact, many of them are pastors, Sunday school teachers, and some have even started Bible colleges.When I was growing up in a fundamentalist Christian community, the idea that women could “do anything” was not just discouraged—it was actively opposed.On my podcast, Preacher Boys, I've spent years exposing how religious institutions—particularly in Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) circles—perpetuate strict and archaic gender roles. These roles aren't just suggestions in that world. They are codified into church doctrine, college curricula, and life expectations.Take Hyles-Anderson College, one of the more well-known IFB institutions. While men at the school can pursue theological degrees, pastoral studies, and climb their way into powerful leadership roles, women are encouraged to enroll in programs like Marriage and Motherhood. (Yes, that's an actual college course.)The curriculum includes credits for “Canning and Freezing,” “How to Rear Infants,” “Scheduling Your Time,” and, my personal favorite, “Crock Pot Cooking.”Notably absent? Any track leading to ordination, church leadership, or even a career outside of traditional homemaking.The highest aspiration for many young women at these colleges isn't earning a degree but earning a husband. It's become a regular joke in these circles that “instead of a BS or PHD, young women go to college for their “MRS” degree!” Hardy har har.To claim that patriarchal control is a thing of the past is to ignore millions of women who are still being told exactly what they can't do. It's to dismiss the experiences of women who are not allowed to preach, lead, or even work outside the home without backlash. It's to erase the reality of those raised in communities where obedience and submission aren't just encouraged but mandated. It's to ignore the fact that 83% of women in ministry positions are not paid.It's bizarre to see Bill Maher, who has made a point to criticize fundamentalist religion in his stand-up, talk show, and an entire documentary, fails to consider the ongoing struggles of women still trapped in these systems.In churches across America, women being held down by the patriarchy isn't a “zombie lie.” It's a nightmarish reality.Sorry, Bill—you missed the mark on this one.✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Check out the Jordan Harbinger Show, a podcast I've been diving into for the last several years. Jordan has interviewed some fascinating guests from spies to whistle blowers, including some previous guests from the Preacher Boys. I've been hooked and I'm sure you will be too!

Sunday Evening- Cooper Hersberger, I Corinthians 15:10 "Why Paul Was Who He Was" 20:20 Alex Gonzales, Psalm 44:1-3 What Work Thou Didst

Eric Skwarczynski - Preacher Boys: Exposing the IFBDIVORCED: Independent Fundamental Baptist, ChristianityCW: Child abuseEric Skwarczynski is an ex-fundamentalist on a mission to shed light on the darker sides of high-control religious environments. As the host of the Preacher Boys podcast, he interviews survivors, experts, and authors on topics such as trauma recovery, mental health, power dynamics, fundamentalist thinking, and relationships.Today Eric shares about his experiences growing up in an IFB family and school, including why he left the IFB – and eventually divorced religion altogether. He also shares some of the pushback he receives for his work as a podcast host exposing IFB abuse.Eric's work has been featured in the Peacock documentary Shadowland and news outlets like CBC. He also appeared in the four-part documentary series Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals, now streaming on Max.FIND ERIC: https://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/Early Bird tickets are now available for the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference, happening LIVE in Seattle May 23-25, 2025! Get yours now: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/Purity Culture Survivor Support Group is happening on Thursdays at 5pm Pacific. Don't miss this opportunity to connect with others for healing and support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/servicesNeed help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/servicesSupport this channel by becoming a Member of the Divorcing Religion YouTube channel! When you support this channel by joining our YouTube membership (starting as low as $3/month) you'll get early access to all of our new content, access to badges and special chat emojis, and more. Every dollar helps, so sign up to be a member today by clicking "Join" under the video. Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcastFollow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: Mastodon: JaniceSelbie@mas.toThreads: Wisecounsellor@threads.netTwitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligionTwitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellorTwitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORTFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligionTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbieInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.Podcast by Porthos MediaCopyright 2024 www.porthosmedia.netSupport the show

Watch Killer Body Count for FREE on Tubi: https://tubitv.com/movies/100019969/killer-body-countOn this special Halloween bonus episode of the Preacher Boys Podcast, we dive into an interview from my Film School'd YouTube channel, where I typically discuss the art of filmmaking with industry talents.Today, however, the crossover between my two worlds—horror and religious trauma—made this episode a perfect fit for Preacher Boys. I'm sharing a portion of my conversation with screenwriter Jessica Landry, who recently penned Killer Body Count, a slasher film with a hauntingly familiar twist for our listeners.The plot centers around a teenage girl misdiagnosed as a "sex addict" by her devout family and sent alone to a religious reform camp. But, in true horror style, things spiral when a masked killer targets the camp's residents one by one. Jessica and I discuss the religious undertones woven into the film, her inspiration for the story, and the biblical motifs that give a darkly ironic spin to each “death scene." We also touch on Jessica's own journey, growing up in a religious environment and eventually identifying as an atheist.For horror fans and those interested in confronting the shadows of religious trauma, this episode has something unique to offer. Listen in for insights on how horror films can explore deep-seated fears around organized religion, shame, and identity, with a splash of classic slasher thrills.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On September 6, 2024, a YouTube video was published by Dead Domain featuring John Anderson, the son of infamous NIFB pastor Steven Anderson, where John publicly accused his parents of severe physical abuse. He also claimed that Steven Anderson beat his wife, Zsuzsanna Anderson, with an electrical cord for "stepping out of line."These revelations ignited a firestorm of controversy within the New IFB community, leading to fractures in the movement – some defending and others calling for Anderson to step down as pastor.On September 22, 2024, Steven Anderson delivered a sermon titled Corporal Punishment in the Bible, where he practically admitted to child and spousal abuse under the guise of "biblical discipline."This video explores the timeline of accusations, Anderson's shocking response from the pulpit, and the larger fallout within the IFB and NIFB communities.Watch now to understand how one of the most notorious hate preachers of our time faces the consequences of his actions—and the disturbing defense he uses to justify it all.✖️✖️✖️Dead Domain Interviews with the Anderson Kids:Isaac Anderson – https://youtu.be/TVgnz0FORAwJohn Anderson – https://youtu.be/AzEkkvr5QMgMiriam Anderson – https://youtu.be/Gpeu6F2Cxzw✖️✖️✖️John Anderson on Preacher Boys – https://youtu.be/hRnmg2ZoEvM✖️✖️✖️Clips Used:Border Patrol Confrontation – https://youtu.be/0B7iNqkGLNoObama Sermon – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIW27p4BI_gPastor Jonathan Shelley on Pastor Steven Anderson – https://rumble.com/v5fkwlx-should-pastor-steven-anderson-resign-or-step-down-as-pastor.htmlPastor Bruce Meija on Pastor Steven Anderson – https://rumble.com/v5fz0b9-dont-be-shimei-pastor-bruce-mejia.htmlPastor Roger Jimenez on Pastor Steven Anderson – https://rumble.com/v5gchjh-long-haired-rebellious-absalom-attacking-his-parentsPastor Steven Anderson's first public response to John Anderson – https://www.facebook.com/100056749640220/videos/555972533435557Pastor Steven Anderson accuses his brother of "stealing" his child – https://rumble.com/v5gi6px-clint-anderson-stole-my-daughter.htmlSteven Anderson Sermon Against Dead Domain – https://rumble.com/v5gro05-sunday-morning-september-29-2024-pastor-steven-l.-anderson.html?e9s=src_v1_ucp✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Buckle up, because in this episode of the Preacher Boys podcast, I'm joined by Kendra Bryan from [Cult]ure Shock, to sift through some of the worst preaching clips the internet has to offer.We're not just talking about a few awkward moments—these are the kind of sermons that make you question how anyone let these people near a microphone.Kendra, who escaped a cult with nothing but her sharp wit and a suitcase full of trauma, brings her signature snark to the table as we dissect these so-bad-they're-good clips. We're here to laugh, cringe, and maybe even cry a little (out of second-hand embarrassment, of course).✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/https://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On November 13, 2020, I shared an episode of the Preacher Boys Podcast featuring Bruce Kennedy discussing his experiences at North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, CA.On the episode, we discussed several scandals relating to this particular ministry, and one in particular was that of Norlan Macias - a former member of North Valley Baptist Church.Today, almost 4 years later, Macias has been arrested.The following is a statement from the County of Santa Clara:For release on July 11, 2024 CONTACT: Joanna LeeDeputy District Attorney Sexual Assault Unit (408) 792-1025joalee@dao.sccgov.org South Bay janitor charged with felony molestationA South Bay man has been charged with sexually molesting teenaged children during church trips at his house on a Morgan Hill lake.The case against 54-year-old Norlan Macias, of San Jose, was launched several years ago when a retired police officer heard a man describing a molestation on a podcast called, “Preacher Boys.”Macias is charged with molestations that happened during a period that lasted longer than a decade, between 2001-2012. Police and prosecutors are seeking others who may have been victims of the South Bay man, who was a janitor at the Campbell Union and Mountain View school districts.Macias faces 11 counts of felony sexual molestation of five minors, ranging from 8 to 17. He will be arraigned this afternoon at 1:30 in department 23 in the Hall of Justice in San Jose. If convicted, he could face life in prison.“I would like to thank the retired police officer for his diligence and dedication,” District Attorney Jeff Rosen said. “As with many officers, his mission of protecting our community's children never stopped. I hope all of us take that same responsibility.”The case against Macias began in 2020, when a retired San Jose Police Officer recognized Macias from the video podcast, which documents child abuse associated with religious institutions. He called 911.The defendant used to take a group of teenage parishioners of the North Valley Baptist Church out on a boat at Lake Anderson in Morgan Hill. The boys would then go to the defendant's house in Morgan Hill, where the molestations took place.While investigating this case, a detective stumbled on a 2013 report by a minor who said that he, too, was molested by Macias. He stated that the defendant lived near him and that he molested him after hiring him to do work on his home. After the initial statement, that case was closed due to lack of victim cooperation.If anyone has any information about the suspect and molestation, they should contact Deputy District Attorney Joanna Lee at joalee@dao.sccgov.org.MY STATEMENT: I've been a public advocate against clergy abuse for nearly four and a half years. It can often feel discouraging and frustrating when no one with power seems to be listening and pushing for real change. I've talked with many victims who have expressed the same sentiment.Today is a reminder of the importance of not remaining silent. It is a reminder that our voices hold power. I'm thankful for the bravery of Bruce Kennedy in sharing his experiences with Norlan Macias and at North Valley Baptist Church on my podcast in 2020. I'm also thankful for the law enforcement officer who heard this message and decided to look into the case. They are both heroes.It is my hope this story encourages survivors in similar high-control religious groups to find their voices and speak out, so justice can continue to be carried out.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/https://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On June 2nd, 2023, the documentary series "Shiny Happy People" premiered on Amazon Prime. While the series' tagline promised to expose some Duggar family secrets, it ended up revealing much more, particularly the work and philosophy of Bill Gothard, the creator of the Institute in Basic Life Principles and the Advanced Training Institute. Gothard's curriculum was marketed as extremely helpful for families in protecting their children, but it ultimately caused incredible harm.Today, a year after the series premiered on Amazon Prime, I'm sitting down with one of the cast members of "Shiny Happy People," Lindsay Williams, to discuss her life journey from starting in IBGP at the age of eight to working alongside Bill Gothard one-on-one at headquarters. We even spent a good chunk of the conversation discussing Lindsay Williams' life now, both as an advocate and as a successful makeup artist who has worked with brands like Vogue and GQ. We explore what it's like transitioning from being a repressed homeschooler to working in the fast-paced world of beauty and fashion.It's an incredible conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Lindsay; we instantly became friends, and I'm certain you'll love hearing from her in this episode of the Preacher Boys podcast.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/https://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/*as an amazon associate I may receive a small commission on purchases made through links in these show notesSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Eric Skwarczynski is a versatile media professional with a passion for storytelling. Over the past 7 years, he has held various roles, including videographer, photographer, writer, and graphic designer, leading him to explore over 20 states and 13 countries.His mission revolves around shedding light on the significant issue of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within Independent Baptist Churches. Eric hosts the Preacher Boys podcast, which debuted in January 2020 and has garnered 3 million downloads to date. Content from the podcast has been showcased on Peacock and CBC, along with his accompanying YouTube channel, approaching 2 million views.He is part of a docuseries titled, “LET US PREY: A MINISTRY OF SCANDALS”, which recently premiered as a four-part event on Investigation Discovery. Following its premiere on ID, all four parts of “Let Us Prey” are now available to stream on HBO MaxEric Skwarczynski's LinksPreacher Boys Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/preacher-boys-podcast/id1493726980Let Us Prey docuseries: https://play.max.com/show/ca01f963-90fe-4028-9d3c-deb127d48f34Leaving Eden Podcast Appearance: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-166-the-ifb-responds-to-let-us-prey/id1525971285?i=1000642463136IndoctriNation Podcast Appearace: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/let-us-prey-w-eric-skwarczynski/id1373939526?i=1000636914661Andrew Pledger's LinksFacebook Discussion Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1153866318625322/Join my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/4ndrewpledgerMy Substack: https://speakingupandrewpledger.substack.com/Social Media: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links-Music: https://www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today's episode, I discuss why I shut down the Preacher Boys Facebook group for two weeks and what I hope changes.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/https://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Our Sponsors:* Check out Factor and use my code preacherboys50 for a great deal: www.factor75.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

First coverage of the lawsuit: https://youtu.be/I6laSC_E3ZYMultiple sources close to North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, California, stated that after the evening service on Wednesday, March 13, the livestream was shut off.After the livestream ended, Pastor Jack Trieber and his staff informed the church body in the auditorium that they had settled a lawsuit.The lawsuit in question was one I reported on recently -– which was filed on October 19, 2022, by two women, Christina Cheetham and Kim Craig, against North Valley Baptist Church and former youth pastor Mike Strouf, alleging abuse that took place near the end of the 1980s.Fred Slye, the business manager for the church, read a statement from the pulpit, saying that police were called 34 years ago, and it was dealt with, and that they needed to settle the lawsuit.Trieber and staff also allegedly communicated to the church that they could have bankrupted the church or put it in significant financial debt and had to sell one property if they did not settle.And, of course, the congregation was encouraged not to listen to “rumors.”I've been following this case closely since almost the time when the Preacher Boys podcast started.In fact, on December 9, 2020, I conducted a podcast interview with Christina Cheetham.The interview was just under two hours in length, with Christina detailing her grooming and abuse at the hands of Mike Strouf, former youth pastor of North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, California.At our recording time, Christina was unsure of avenues to pursue legal action against Strouf due to stringent statute of limitations laws.We agreed to keep the episode from being released while Christina searched for ways to pursue justice. Christina discovered that in 2019, California Assembly Bill Number 218 had amended the law about civil suits for recovery of damages from alleged childhood sexual abuse. The Bill prescribed an amendment and expansion of the definition of “childhood sexual abuse,” extension of the statute of limitations for commencement of civil suits for same, allowance of recovery of up to treble damages under certain circumstances involving a cover-up of childhood sexual assault, revival of specific childhood sexual assault claims, and exemption from the Government Tort Claims Act's “claims-presentation” requirements for childhood sexual assault claims.This gave Christina an unprecedented opportunity to take legal action.Until today, Christina has made no public statement regarding her story of abuse.I will indeed be sitting down with her again in the future to record an entirely new conversation. However, in the meantime, with her permission, I returned to our 2020 interview to pull key clips from her story to add her voice to the stories being shared regarding the lawsuit.✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/https://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The cult doc “Let Us Prey” on HBO, highlights the issues within the high control religious group Independent Fundamental Baptist, of which Eric was a part of. From the covering up of predatory behavior of the leaders, to extreme patriarchal control which blames victims and breeds perpetrators, Eric walks us through what his life was like being isolated in this group until his adult years. Which eventually led him and his wife to belong to another cult like group!Watch this episode on YouTube hereWatch Shelise's interview on Preacher Boys channel here:Find and support Eric!Website: preacherboyspodcast.comYouTube: @PreacherBoysFB: https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/IG: @preacherboysdoc TikTok: @preacherboyspodOur C2C vacation where we can meet you in real life and go on adventures together has 5 spots left!  Click here to go to the official booking page Overview of IFB & its rulesHow purity culture negatively affects boys/men tooModesty as a subjective topicDating or not in the IFB?What Eric's education was like at the IFB schoolHow other churches were brought up in discussion while in IFBSimilarities with IFB and MormonismReligious studies injected in schoolBible class and the Christian flagEric choose filmmaking for God over Bible collegeEric's faith was shaken because of a predatorEric's wife's feelings at the timeEric left one cult and found himself in another situationThe last time Eric was part of the churchDealing with hard topics on Eric's podcast - Preacher BoysOur Merch! Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastWebsite CultsToConsciousness.comFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Jared Kobernat went to school at West Coast Baptist College in Lancaster, CA before becoming a staff member at First Baptist School in Plattsmouth, NE – a ministry of First Baptist Church.According to the First Baptist School website, they are a “K-12 educational institution” that recently added a pre-school.Jared Kobernat was ordained by the church and stepped into the role of 9-10th grade Bible teacher.On February 3rd, 2023, Kobernat was arrested for Intentional Child Abuse.Jared Kobernat was the second person from First Baptist Church to be put behind bars within a year.On March 17, 2022, 65 year old William Marks Sr, a Bob Jones University grad and Sunday school teacher at the church, was charged with two counts of first-degree sexual assault of a child and one count of third-degree sexual assault of a child.Investigators talked to several victims who described how Marks would rub their backs, necks, inner thighs and have sexually explicit conversations with them. (source: WOWT)His bond was set at $1 million.William Marks died 9 days later while still incarcerated.On February 7, 2024, almost two years since Mark's death, and one year from Kobernat's initial arrest, sentencing was carried out for Jared Kobernat.News Channel Nebraska reports, “Jared was sentenced to two years for child abuse, a consecutive year for unlawful intrusion and a fourth year for attempted unlawful intrusion. Kobernat was ordered to register as a sex offender in Nebraska.”The case started in 2022 as a stalking investigation – leading to a search of Kobernat's cell phone.Police found approximately 27,000 photographs of females ranging from adolescence to middle age on Jared's devices.Kobernat admitted to following women at shopping centers and also confessed to creating a fake Facebook page in an attempt to obtain photos.Preacher Boys is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.A female victim, who had known Kobernat since his high school sophomore years, received a message from a fake Facebook account, purportedly from another former classmate.The message solicited her assistance with an academic project on workout effects, leading her to share embarrassing photos.When she said she would not send any further photos, she received threats that the images would be passed along to her family and entire Facebook friends list.She threatened to involve the police, and then began receiving messages from other accounts asking for explicit photos.Some of the photos on Kobernat's cell phone had been altered to include text. One photo in particular was labeled to identify the individual shown as a student in Plattsmouth.Investigators also found images of two females that were taken at First Baptist Church.✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help.✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Eric Skwarczynski Featured in Let us Prey Documentary Host, Preacher Boys PodcastEXPOSINGThe Preacher Boys podcast exists to shed a bright spotlight on the very real subject of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches.While IFB churches do not have a monopoly on abuse – it is an undeniable problem within the movement and must be addressed.ENGAGINGThe Preacher Boys podcast exists to engage thoughtfully on the subject of abuse.The Preacher Boys podcast is not a satire site, nor is it a reflection of a personal vendetta against all who identify with the movement.We must look objectively at the issues at hand, using relevant data and dialoguing with survivors to better understand and deconstruct the religious sub-cultures that lend themselves to abuse.Every survivor's story is worthy to be told, and every survivor has equal value, regardless of their gender, ethnicity, current religious affiliation, sexual orientation, age, or any other factor.EQUIPPINGThe Preacher Boys Podcast exists not only to rally not only survivors and advocates now outside the movement, but also to spark a fire of change within – leading current congregants, leaders, and pastors to effect change in their own churches.Through interviews and contributed resources from trauma therapists, mental health experts, law enforcement, clergy, and other specialists, the Preacher Boys podcast should be a growing library of information for the pastor hoping to strengthen the security of their church, their capacity to minister to the hurting, and their ability to be what the church should have been – a place of refuge and safety.Find Eric HereInstagramFacebookPodcast〰️〰️Shanny

Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️Sharon Liese is an Emmy® winning filmmaker who is known for having her finger on the Zeitgeist. Her documentary projects have aired on premium networks and streamers and screened at many prestigious film festivals.Sharon is the director of Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals, a docuseries exposing the predatory and insidious behavior within Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches, and the struggles of survivors to find justice.Premiering on Disney+ in 2022, Liese's short documentary, The Flagmakers, was Oscar® shortlisted, nominated for a Critics Choice Documentary Award, and nominated for an Emmy. The film also won Best Documentary Short at the SCAD Savannah Film Festival, an Audience Award at the Denver International Film Festival, and has been optioned for a Broadway musical produced by Mark Gordon.In January 2023, her short film, Parker, had its World Premiere at the Sundance Film Festival.Liese's award-winning feature documentary, Transhood, premiered on HBO in 2020 and was featured on The Ellen Show and GMA. The film won several awards, including Audience Award for Best Feature Documentary at AFI Docs. Liese also created and executive produced Pink Collar Crimes, a true crime series for CBS.Liese created and directed the award-winning documentary series High School Confidential, filmed over four years, which broke ratings records on WEtv. She also directed and produced The Gnomist (CNN Films), which had its World Premiere at the 2015 Tribeca Film Festival and went on to win 15 festival awards, including the Jury Award for Best Short Documentary at LA Shorts Fest, qualifying it for Oscar consideration before being acquired by CNN Films.Liese's film, Selfie, created in collaboration with Dove and The Sundance Institute, premiered during the 2014 Sundance Film Festival before being the focus of a special multi-episode series on Good Morning America.In addition to producing and directing documentary programming for Disney+, HBO, CNN, MTV, FOX, Lifetime, WEtv, OWN, DiscoveryID, and PBS, Sharon Liese is the founder and owner of Herizon Productions.✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Survivor and founding member of the Blind Eye Movement, Ruthy Heiler, joins the Preacher Boys Podcast to discuss her experience pursuing justice against Aaron Willand, filming the documentary series, Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals, and more.✖️✖️✖️Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals is a new four-part docuseries exposing the predatory and insidious behavior within the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Churches, and the struggles of survivors to find justice. Featuring first-hand accounts from survivors, church defectors, and activists,Let Us Prey offers crucial insight into the troubling culture within the IFB and the stronghold the churches have on its members.All four parts of Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals are available on Max.✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hear Eric Skwarczynski's appearance on the IndoctriNation Podcast.The IndoctriNation Podcast is a weekly podcast covering cults, manipulators, and protecting yourself from systems of control. Each week therapist Rachel Bernstein sits down with former cult members, intervention experts, and people who have left narcissistic and controlling relationships of all kinds to hear their stories and discuss their past experiences.  You can listen to IndoctriNation on Spotify, Apple Music, SoundCloud, Stitcher, and many more.For more from the Indoctrination Podcast, visit: https://rachelbernsteintherapy.com/podcast.html✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Eric Skwarczynski is a versatile media professional with a passion for storytelling. Over the past 7 years, he has held various roles, including videographer, photographer, writer, and graphic designer, leading him to explore over 20 states and 13 countries. His mission revolves around shedding light on the significant issue of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within Independent Baptist Churches. Eric hosts the Preacher Boys podcast, which debuted in January 2020 and has garnered 3 million downloads to date. Content from the podcast has been showcased on Peacock and CBC, along with his accompanying YouTube channel, approaching 2 million views. Additionally, he has recently introduced a second YouTube channel, called “Film School'd”, where he features directors, actors, writers, and other experts from the film industry. He is part of a docuseries titled, “LET US PREY: A MINISTRY OF SCANDALS”, which recently premiered as a four-part event on Investigation Discovery. Following its premiere on ID, all four parts of “Let Us Prey” are now available to stream on HBO Max In this insightful conversation, Eric shares with Rachel his insights on the toxic culture of Independent Fundamentalist Baptists and details the isolating and life-changing catalyst that propelled him into the advocacy work he does now. Before You Go: Rachel expands on how authoritarian religious groups often use the idealism of genuine believers as a mechanism of control to manipulate their sense of purpose. You can find out more about the documentary "Let Us Prey" here: https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/show/let-us-prey-a-ministry-of-scandals-investigation-discovery-atve-us Watch the trailer here: https://youtu.be/dCrsz6y44p4?si=HER4XPMJDNAIT98P You can find more info about Eric and his work at: https://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/ All of Rachel's free informational PDF documents are available here: www.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/pdf.html All of Rachel's video lectures are available for purchase here: rachelbernsteintherapy.com/videos.html To help support the show monthly and get bonus episodes, shirts, and tote bags, please visit: www.patreon.com/indoctrination Prefer to support the IndoctriNation show with a one-time donation? Use this link: www.paypal.me/indoctrination Connect with us on Social Media: Twitter: twitter.com/_indoctrination Facebook: www.facebook.com/indoctrinationpodcast Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@indoctrinationpodcast Instagram: www.instagram.com/indoctrinationpodcast/ YouTube: www.youtube.com/rachelbernsteinlmft You can always help the show for free by leaving a rating on Spotify or a review on Apple/ iTunes. It really helps the visibility of the show!

April Avila is one of the featured interviewees in Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals, a new four-part docuseries exposing the predatory and insidious behavior within the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Churches, and the struggles of survivors to find justice. Featuring first-hand accounts from survivors, church defectors, and activists, Let Us Prey offers crucial insight into the troubling culture within the IFB and the stronghold the churches have on its members. All four parts of Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals premiered across two nights Friday, November 24 and Saturday, November 25 starting at 9/8c on ID.Since its inception in the 1950s, the IFB has evolved into one of the dominant religious forces in the United States today with an estimated 8 million believers spread out over 6,000 churches across the country. Let Us Prey uncovers the dark innerworkings behind the IFB's cheery and virtuous exterior by exposing depraved secrets and violence that have existed within their churches for decades. Rituals oriented towards “breaking a child's will,” mind control and torture are only the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface lurks accusations of rape and physical abuse of members, including minors, at the hands of IFB figure heads.Anchored by the testimony of survivors who have come forward to tell their stories and seek justice, Let Us Prey explores the deep pain and lifelong trauma they experienced. Survivors and IFB defectors Ruthy Heiler, Kathy Durbin and Amanda Householder, among others, share their accounts of abuse at the hands of church leaders and the violence, manipulation and suspected cover-ups of other members. Also featuring key independent voices, including Fort Worth Star-Telegram reporter Sarah Smith – one of the first journalists to uncover IFB's tangled web of abuse allegations and unregulated teen boarding schools – Let Us Prey offers a deeper understanding of how those within the IFB have continued to operate unchecked for years. Through powerful, emotional testimonies and archival footage, Let Us Prey reveals the sexual abuse of IFB members and the insidious efforts to cover up pastors' abuse and silence survivors.Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals is produced for ID by ITV America's Good Caper Content, with Emmy Award-winning Director Sharon Liese, who created the series, serves as the director. Liese is a critically acclaimed and award-winning filmmaker, whose recent Emmy Award-winning documentary short, The Flagmakers, was Oscar shortlisted and nominated for a Critic's Choice Documentary Award.Use #LetUsPrey to join the conversation and follow on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X and YouTube for exclusive content.✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Eric Skwarczynski (@eskwarczynski) is a versatile media professional with a passion for storytelling. Over the past 7 years, he has worked in various roles, including videographer, photographer, writer, and graphic designer, taking him to over 20 states and 13 countries. His mission is to shed light on the important issue of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within Independent Baptist Churches. He hosts the Preacher Boys podcast, which launched in January 2020 and has since amassed millions of downloads. Content from his podcast has been featured on Peacock and CBC, and on his accompanying YouTube channel.  He has also launched a second YouTube channel, Film School'd, featuring directors, actors, writers, Academy Award-winning FX artists, and more film industry experts. Today, Eric is promoting the new documentary "Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals" which premieres on Investigation Discovery on November 24th and 25th of 2023. The four-part docuseries exposes predatory behavior within Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches and gives voice to survivors seeking justice. Featuring first-hand accounts from survivors like Ruthy Heiler, Kathy Durbin, and Amanda Householder, Let Us Prey offers crucial insight into the troubling culture within the IFB. Eric's testimony is also featured in the documentary, continuing his mission to shed light on abuse within Independent Baptist Churches. What Travis and Eric discussed: Why Eric started the Preacher Boys podcast to expose abuse and corruption in the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) church community he grew up in. He felt someone needed to uncover the problems, even though he was no longer part of the church. The upcoming documentary "Let Us Prey" on Investigation Discovery and HBO Max will shine a bigger spotlight on abuse in the IFB. Eric and others spent significant time being interviewed for it. According to Eric, the IFB attracts and enables abuse because of its authoritarian power structure, purity culture, and lack of accountability for leaders. It sends the message that abuse will be tolerated. Both Eric and Travis emphasize the importance of continual questioning and keeping an open mind, rather than sticking dogmatically to answers that can't be questioned. This prevents becoming trapped in harmful fundamentalist thinking. They feel empathy for Christians saddened by their deconversions but ultimately had to be honest about their beliefs. Mutual love and conversation matter more than agreement. This raw, revealing conversation exposed the rampant abuse and silencing in Christian fundamentalist circles, through Eric's courageous Preacher Boys podcast and the upcoming documentary "Let Us Prey." However, effecting real change requires questioning the system and speaking truth, with integrity and empathy. Travis and Eric model this by engaging kindly across deep divides. Listen to this entire inspiring episode if you want inspiration to fight injustice with compassion. By leading with moral courage, we can take away permission to abuse power, in churches or anywhere else. A better world is possible when we stand for truth empathetically. Don't forget to subscribe to our Youtube Channel, @travismakesfriends Follow Travis on: IG

Ruthy Heiler is one of the featured interviewees in Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals, a new four-part docuseries exposing the predatory and insidious behavior within the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Churches, and the struggles of survivors to find justice. Featuring first-hand accounts from survivors, church defectors and activists, Let Us Prey offers crucial insight into the troubling culture within the IFB and the stronghold the churches have on its members. All four parts of Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals premiere across two nights airing Friday, November 24 and Saturday, November 25 starting at 9/8c on ID.Since its inception in the 1950s, the IFB has evolved into one of the dominant religious forces in the United States today with an estimated 8 million believers spread out over 6,000 churches across the country. Let Us Prey uncovers the dark innerworkings behind the IFB's cheery and virtuous exterior by exposing depraved secrets and violence that have existed within their churches for decades. Rituals oriented towards “breaking a child's will,” mind control and torture are only the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface lurks accusations of rape and physical abuse of members, including minors, at the hands of IFB figure heads.Anchored by the testimony of survivors who have come forward to tell their stories and seek justice, Let Us Prey explores the deep pain and lifelong trauma they experienced. Survivors and IFB defectors Ruthy Heiler, Kathy Durbin and Amanda Householder, among others, share their accounts of abuse at the hands of church leaders and the violence, manipulation and suspected cover-ups of other members. Also featuring key independent voices, including Fort Worth Star-Telegram reporter Sarah Smith – one of the first journalists to uncover IFB's tangled web of abuse allegations and unregulated teen boarding schools – Let Us Prey offers a deeper understanding of how those within the IFB have continued to operate unchecked for years. Through powerful, emotional testimonies and archival footage, Let Us Prey reveals the sexual abuse of IFB members and the insidious efforts to cover up pastors' abuse and silence survivors.Let Us Prey: A Ministry of Scandals is produced for ID by ITV America's Good Caper Content, with Emmy Award-winning Director Sharon Liese, who created the series, serves as the director. Liese is a critically acclaimed and award-winning filmmaker, whose recent Emmy Award-winning documentary short, The Flagmakers, was Oscar shortlisted and nominated for a Critic's Choice Documentary Award.Use #LetUsPrey to join the conversation and follow on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X and YouTube for exclusive content.✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Isami is a subject matter expert on anti-human trafficking and child safety.She grew up in Japan and was raised by professional con artists under the guise of "missionaries." Her home was an unsafe place for children, as her mother became her sex trafficker at the age of 9. Once she left her abusive home as an adult, she redefined her faith and continued to serve at her local church.Her mission is to be a voice for the exploited and abused within religious settings and educate leadership on anti-human trafficking and child safety.Isami has a B.S. degree in interdisciplinary studies (Graphic Design/Communications+Psychology), has completed professional training in global and domestic anti-human trafficking, has an active ICF coaching certification, and has appeared on multiple shows/podcasts internationally and within the United States. ​Her story of resilience has allowed her to connect with thousands of survivors across the globe.https://www.isamidaehn.com/✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

For three years, I've had to keep this under wraps, and I can honestly say it's been one of the hardest secrets I've ever had to keep! I'm honored to share the screen with so many brave, amazing people. I love everyone involved and am thankful for close friendships that have been formed over the past few years—some initially through the podcast and others as a result of this series. I also want to especially thank our director, Sharon, our producer, Sam, and all of the talented crew that made this possible. Being a part of this project has been such a surreal experience, and I can't wait to share this series with you very soon. Please make sure to tune in!“LET US PREY: A MINISTRY OF SCANDALS" premieres across two nights, airing Friday, November 24, and Saturday, November 25, starting at 9/8c on ID.✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome back to the Preacher Boys podcast! In this episode, we dive into your questions and address some crucial topics. Host Eric Skwarczynski is joined by Michael McNeilly, also known as the Sheriff of the Preacher Boys Official Discussion Group. We've handpicked a selection of your queries from the YouTube comments, and if you have more on your mind, don't hesitate to drop them below.We start by clarifying the relationship between Travis Chappell and Paul Chappell, a common source of confusion. While Eric has collaborated with Travis Chappell for several years, it's essential to note that they are not related, despite their associations with Lancaster Baptist Church.The central focus of this episode revolves around addressing church abuse and how different churches respond to it. We discuss the importance of churches taking a stance against abuse, even when it's not occurring within their own walls. Michael McNeilly shares valuable insights, emphasizing the need for consistency and holding churches accountable. We explore the responsibility of pastors and church leaders when it comes to partnering with other institutions and the significance of not turning a blind eye.Next, we tackle the topic of Crown College in Tennessee and whether it has faced issues of abuse. Eric shares his approach to covering stories related to abuse within religious institutions, highlighting the importance of credible information and personal experiences. We encourage anyone with information about Crown College to come forward and share their stories.Moreover, we delve into conversations about the nature of church structures and whether they resemble business models. Michael McNeilly highlights the variations in church and college relationships and how they can affect the overall dynamics within a religious institution.The discussion also touches upon the deflection of responsibility and the need for churches and individuals to take proactive steps to prevent abuse and ensure the safety of their community members.This episode presents various perspectives on these vital topics and emphasizes the importance of addressing abuse and accountability within religious organizations. Join us for this insightful and thought-provoking discussion on the Preacher Boys podcast, and don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on our latest episodes!✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Read my Full Article: https://preacherboys.substack.com/p/jill-duggar-is-monetizing-her-traumaAs Jill Duggar says in her book, she had to keep her reality separate from the narrative presented on reality TV.What people had seen in the past was essentially Jim Bob's twisted narrative.Now, she's brave enough to share the truth about her experiences for the first time ever.We should support that, just as we should support any survivors in telling their own stories how they see fit.✖️✖️✖️Past Duggar Coverage: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3bVHY_fIafUy_064Kb55IaE3CSOtK9tC✖️✖️✖️Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Subscribe to my free Preacher Boys newsletter: https://preacherboys.substack.com/✖️✖️✖️Stephen Ayon – Music Director at Fishers Baptist Church in Fishers, Indiana – was arrested on September 29, 2023, on six felony charges after being confronted by self-proclaimed predator hunters. He was charged with…1. Dissemination of matter or conducting performance harmful to minors: Knowingly/Intentionally disseminates to minor2. Child Solicitation: solicits for intercourse/other sexual conduct AND uses comp AND travels to vic b/t 14 &16 AND def 21+ 3. Child Seduction: Def. has professional relationship w/ child and engages in sex or sexual conduct w/child 14-154. Sexual Misconduct with a Minor: Def. engages in other sexual conduct with child 14 or 15. Def. is 21+.5. Human Trafficking: K/I recruit/entice/harbor/transports a child under 16 with intent to participate in sexual conduct6. Vicarious Sexual Gratification AND Victim(s) under 16, but older than 13. Fishers Baptist Church operates a PreK-12th Grade school, but it is unclear whether Ayon had any direct involvement with that ministry.✖️✖️✖️SOURCES:https://www.wishtv.com/news/crime-watch-8/fishers-christian-academy-teacher-facing-charges-after-allegedly-dating-underage-student/Footage from @predatorhuntersindiana  : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cslp4cyt-h0&t=1sAdditional Footage from @nycreepsspotlight2858 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjQIWAdGu5g✖️✖️✖️________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Join the 30 Days of Courage NOW, and you'll be part of a powerful FREE online event starting October 1st-30th inside the Courage 365 Facebook group. This year, we're taking it to the next level! Prepare to be blown away and empowered as we bring you incredible survivor and advocate panelists who will share their courageous insights and stories that will leave you inspired.But that's not all! Join our exclusive interactive online Facebook group, where you can connect and grow with others who truly understand the journey of healing and empowerment. Share your experiences, get support, and be a part of a community that champions your growth.Are you up for a challenge? Participate in our weekly self-care challenges that will help you prioritize your well-being and unlock the best version of yourself. And the best part? You stand a chance to win absolutely amazing prizes along the way!Wait, there's one more thing you can't miss! Mark your calendar for the highly anticipated event on October 30th, where we'll host our first ever LIVE and interactive game show. Get ready for an excitement-filled evening as we put our 3 contestants' knowledge to the test with trivia from the panelist discussions. It's going to be an unforgettable experience!Get ready to embrace the bold new journey of empowerment and connection. Join us this year for an experience like no other. Trust us, you won't want to miss it!JOIN NOW: https://www.courage365.org/thirty________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode is made possible by Audible. Claim a FREE 30-day trial of Audible Premium Plus here: https://amzn.to/4563R2W✖️✖️✖️On today's episode, I'm breaking down a couple of headlines of abuse within the Independent Fundamental Baptist Movement, giving some expanded thoughts on Jill Duggar's book Counting the Cost, and sharing a really fascinating portion of my conversation with a Bob Jones University graduate I encountered on my other podcast, Film School'd.SOURCES REFERENCED:Nic Corl: https://jimspub.riversidesheriff.org/cgi-bin/iisinfo.acu?bkno=202337728GConner Coleman Arrest: https://www.leader-call.com/news/free_news/youth-minister-charged-with-molestation/article_fa9ac5a4-5402-11ee-b413-8ba0675540a3.htmlBenjamin Garlick Arrest: https://www.wgnsradio.com/article/83231/evangelist-guest-pastor-at-a-variety-of-churches-arrested-on-multiple-rape-of-a-child-charges-in-murfreesboroTimeline of David Hyles' alleged abuses: https://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/david-hyles-update-the-more-things-change-the-more-they-stay-the-sameFULL INTERVIEW WITH NICK MATTHEWS ON THE FILM SCHOOL'D PODCAST: https://youtu.be/AwFnWnSLbTo________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Prepare for an intimate and inspiring evening of storytelling, song, poetry, and art featuring a diverse line-up of thriving survivors…The 1st Annual Story Jam is happening in St. Louis!Be they cults, high-demand groups, organizations or companies, spiritually abusive churches or families, or high-control schools or programs, our stories can shed light on the dynamics that held us captive.If you have been involved in a “power over” abusive environment and are willing to listen to cautionary tales and miraculous misadventures (miraculous because we got out and survived!), we hope you'll join us for an intimate evening of creative performances by fellow cult survivors and advocates!Get your tickets here:https://www.igotout.org/story-jam________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community who shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Purchase a copy of Counting the Cost here: https://amzn.to/3LsOXNjFor the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC's hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn't possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family's way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle's nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn't protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members—they weren't willing to rock the boat. But now they're raising a family of their own, and they're done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.✖️✖️✖️RESOURCES MENTIONED:➡️ My appearance on the Surviving Bob Jones University Podcast: https://bit.ly/3LrOfQi➡️ 30 Days of Courage (FREE Virtual Event for Survivors): https://www.courage365.org/thirty➡️ Past coverage of Mountain Avenue Baptist Church: https://youtu.be/zCi_4byxIVA➡️ Purchase Counting the Cost: https://amzn.to/3LsOXNj________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:- preacherboyspodcast.com- https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/- https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc- https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community who shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Erin Burchwell is a Columbus, Ohio-based florist, designer and illustrator. She grew up as a faculty kid on the campus of Bob Jones University, an extremely conservative Christian college known for its strict rules and controversial beliefs. In 2014, Erin interviewed with GRACE, an independent ombudsman who reviewed the University's mishandling of sexual assault reports. She and others chose to break their anonymity in the report when the school fired the GRACE team.Erin manages her own floral business specializing in events, décor and commissioned murals. Some of her work was recently featured online by Architectural Digest this year. She has illustrated three children's picture books about Ohio and enjoys visiting schools and teaching students about publishing.Erin's commitments extend well beyond her business. She is a dedicated volunteer teacher and fundraiser for many organizations including nursing homes, women's prisons, after-school programs, and children's museums. She lives with her husband, Jason, her daughter Gracie, and two dogs, Fred and Mose.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This epoisode is sponsored by Better Help. Hey everyone! It's ANOTHER remix episode of A Little Bit Culty because: It's always good to take some time to look back and reflect.  PLUS we're currently working our tails off on a batch of all new, farm fresh episodes for a brand new season. Until then, you can always join us over on Patreon - that's patreon.com/alittlebitculty for new weekly episodes, adfree, and other treats.  But right now? We're about to get in the weeds of one of our favorite topics with some of our fan favorites.  On todays episode we are diving head first into the fucked up world of abstinence pledges, purity rings, and knee length skirts. That's right, we are going deep in the purity culture discussion and we aren't pulling out.   Joining us are three powerhouse guests.   First is the most rockin' reverend we've ever met.   Nadia Bolz-Weber is an ordained Lutheran Pastor, and founder of House for All Sinners & Saints in Denver:  a progressive, queer-inclusive Lutheran congregation. She's written three New York Times bestselling memoirs, including Shameless: A Sexual Reformation, which takes on what she sees as the harmful ideas about sexuality that Christianity has promoted throughout history. She's the creator and host of The Confessional podcast, a pop-up prayer network called The Chapel, and a wildly inspirational Substack called The Corners.    Next up is Alice Greczyn - an actress, author, and founder of Dare to Doubt. Her story includes a painful yet rewarding transition from Christianity to atheism, a journey that inspired her to found DaretoDoubt.org, a resource site for people detaching from belief systems they come to fnd harmful.    And last, and probably least, Eric Skwarczynski is the host and creator of the Preacher Boys podcast, which is a platform for survivors' stories about a deeply disturbing pattern of sexual predation and abuse claims within the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement.    You won't want to miss a single second of todays show, so let's get started with our personal Fuck You to Purity Culture, featuring Nadia Bolz Weber, Alice Greczyn, and Eric Skwarczynski. Also… Let it be known far and wide, loud and clear that… The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad. Other Links: Check out our lovely sponsors Join ‘A Little Bit Culty' on Patreon Get poppin' fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Cult awareness and recovery resources CREDITS:  Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Producer: Will Retherford Senior Producer: Jess Tardy Writer: Holly Zadra Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

Purchase a copy of Jessica Willis Fisher's memoir here: https://amzn.to/3qVyhXUGrowing up the eldest daughter in a large, highly controlled, fundamentalist Christian household, Jessica Willis was groomed to perform and conform to her father's disturbing and chaotic teachings. Cut off from anything unapproved by her father, Jessica was persistently curious about the outside world, always wondering what was normal or potentially dangerous about her upbringing.When the Willis family rocketed into fame after their appearances on multiple televised talent competitions in 2014, Jessica and her family landed their own reality TV show and toured across the globe, singing and dancing for millions. The world loved this beautiful family of kids; young and vivacious, the Willis's presented themselves to be extraordinary and happy. But the older and wiser Jessica got, the more she had to face that what was going on behind closed doors would forever be escalating.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

North Love Baptist Church is embroiled in a scandal involving over thirty allegations of sexual abuse. The accusations span across various ministries, including North Love Christian School and Reformers Unanimous. Pastor and co-founder Paul Kingsbury, who led the ministry for decades, resigned amid public outcry in 2021.While not directly named in the lawsuits, Kingsbury's role in the mishandling of these allegations is under scrutiny. In a surprising turn of events, Kingsbury has now partnered with David Hyles, a figure with a controversial past in the Baptist community.Watch as we delve into the shocking details and explore the new ministry announced by Kingsbury and Hyles.SOURCES:Past Preacher Boys Coverage:https://bit.ly/3KYDBR7Rockford Register Star | November 19, 2021:https://www.rrstar.com/story/news/2021/11/19/north-love-baptist-church-allegations-rockford-what-we-know/8574973002/Paul Kingsbury + David Hyles Announcement:https://bit.ly/3KZmUoxHarvest Baptist Church + Pastor Marvin Smith:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3bVHY_fIafXKWxdKUqi35Qv5z1bNlBv4https://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/kingsburytextshttps://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/david-hyles-update-the-more-things-change-the-more-they-stay-the-same________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

[This interview was recorded prior to the SAG-AFTRA strike.]Jon Snow is an actor and writer, but he is first and foremost the survivor of both a cult and of sexual abuse.Raised primarily in St. Louis, Missouri, Jon ran away from home and the cult when he was just 17 years old, between his junior and senior years of high school. The cult, the sexual assault, and the physical abuse endured by his mother left Jon feeling powerless. A young man without a voice.Not long after running away, acting came calling in the form of a mostly paid-for tuition at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. But even that was no walk in the park. He promptly failed out of college during his freshman year, after which he sheepishly returned to St. Louis. Four years later, Jon returned to Dallas, and SMU, determined to pursue acting. Initially, he was rejected on the grounds that the theatre department did see enough evidence of growth. Not to be deterred, Jon fought for his spot and was readmitted to the acting program, graduating in 2002 with a BFA in Acting. Next came the move to Los Angeles and the pursuit of the Hollywood dream.But 15 years later, without much to show for an acting career, Jon realized he'd only been running away from his past, and that if he ever wanted the future he dreamed of, then something had to change. Through hustle and hard work, Jon was able to find a coveted position as a reader for multiple casting offices around Los Angeles. And now, having been a participant in over 10,000 auditions to date, he has started teaching other actors the insights he has gleaned during his time as a reader.​Today, Jon's larger mission is to continue to find ways to deepen the connection to his voice and to reach back out to those who feel powerless, voiceless, alone, and afraid. Having walked that path, Jon can think of no better way than to shine a light in the darkness for others to follow. Even if it's just a single person, he knows it's all well worth the effort. ________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

01:22:20 – On August 1st, Robert Lazzell, former principal of First Baptist School and a deacon at First Baptist Church, was sentenced to 12 years in prison after pleading guilty to Criminal Sexual Assault against former student Michael Young. It's important to note that Lazzell is the third prominent former staff member to be charged with sexual crimes against minors since the late 90s.Source: https://vermilioncountyfirst.com/2023/08/18/protesters-outside-first-baptist-church-call-for-accountability-in-aftermath-of-lazzell-sentencing/?fbclid=IwAR1fbriIQlW92_iFLCUJtaIWxkEIKYQ9WhMLsGftQpjIZX2uFWf1dJMae8U02:35:20 – The Kenosha County Eye reports that in the early morning of August 10th at a Somers Walmart, an individual was reportedly observed fully naked, standing next to a black truck, masturbating. The Kenosha County Sheriff's Department made an arrest and the individual was later identified as 57-year-old Pastor Thomas Bartmer.Thomas Bartmer, as per his website (which has now been largely wiped) has been a pastor at Lighthouse Church in Antioch, IL. His journey into the ministry began with a Lutheran upbringing, and his history is marked by his involvement in various churches, where he held leadership roles, including teaching, preaching, and working with community programs. He began Lighthouse Baptist Church on Sept 6th, 1997, and on March 27th, 1999, Lighthouse constituted as a self-sustaining church and was granted official membership in the Illinois Baptist State Association and the Southern Baptist Convention.Source: https://kenoshacountyeye.com/2023/08/12/local-pastor-arrested-at-somers-walmart-for-masturbating-naked-in-parking-lot/04:16:21 – News3 reports:“Robert Stine, 60, faces two felony charges of first-degree child sex assault - sexual contact or sexual intercourse with a person under the age of 13, online court records show.In July, Pastor Stine of Midvale Baptist Church had his license revoked for operating the church's Kid's Best child care facility in June. This action followed an inquiry by the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families and the Madison Police Department.A young girl reported that Stine assaulted her on three separate occasions.Source: https://www.channel3000.com/news/madison-pastor-charged-with-child-sexual-assault/article_5d6fddde-3d49-11ee-a71b-f332c6de0680.html07:14:21 – There is no shortage of unhelpful commentary and discourse surrounding clergy abuse.This week I caught wind of two particularly terrible examples from higher-profile voices adjacent to the IFB.One was from Shelly Hamilton – wife of the late Ron Hamilton, who created the popular Patch the Pirate children's character.The other was from Ken Schaap's Podcast: https://youtu.be/Pi5xIcOn4RQ________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We are back, and taking some time to reflect on almost three years of Preacher Boys - a journey that's been equal parts rewarding and difficult. Huge shout out to my friend and the PB Discussion Group mod, Michael McNeilly, for hopping on this one.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support SURVIVOR PROM: https://survivor-prom.causevox.com/Survivor Prom is an unforgettable experience put together by Survivors of the Troubled Teen Industry.Every year thousands of children are taken out of the safety and comfort of their homes and transported into congregate care facilities, often labeled "Troubled Teen" facilities. Survivors of these programs report horrific emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. And in addition to mourning what they experienced INSIDE the program, Survivors also mourn the experiences they were robbed of during the most formidable and impactful years of their lives.Survivor Prom is Prom. It's a party. Thrown in honor of adults who have endured so much, that they may reclaim just one small part of their teenage dream.Please consider a monetary gift today to the Survivors making Prom a reality.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Preacher Boys podcast, host Eric talks to Lauren Eggers about her experiences growing up in the Independent Fundamental Baptist church.While Lauren's early experiences in the IFB church were largely positive, she started to discover that the world around her was far from perfect.In this episode, we talk about:– attending Hyles Anderson College after the Schaap incident– the failure of the "Jericho Program"– the severe expectations on women in the IFB– Lauren's traumatic experience with a man who disregarded her wishes and took advantage of her, and the difficulty of sharing that with others.I appreciate Lauren bravely sharing her story and I know it will encourage all who listen!________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Purchase a copy of She Deserves Better: https://amzn.to/40NMYZzArmed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire--the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don'ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com, an award-winning author, and a sought-after speaker. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Joanna Sawatsky has a master's degree in public health and is a trained microbiologist, epidemiologist, and biostatistician.Together they are the coauthors of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.Purchase a copy of The Great Sex Rescue: https://amzn.to/414EmgW________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In episode #246, we discussed the resignation of Dr. Steve Pettit, president of Bob Jones University in South Carolina.Pettit took office in 2014, a year after a GRACE report that revealed how the college's leadership had mishandled numerous cases of abuse that occurred both on and off campus.Survivors claimed that in cases that took place at the school, proper authorities were not notified, and in many cases, victims in counseling at BJU were blamed for bringing the abuse on themselves.Many people hoped that Pettit's appointment would bring about much-needed change. However, on March 31, 2023, almost nine years after taking office, Pettit resigned from BJU.Just a few days before his resignation, he wrote a five-page letter that revealed several concerning issues about Dr. John Lewis, Chairman BJU's board of trustees.Pettit accused Lewis of holding off-site secret meetings without informing key university leadership, adopting a posture of secrecy and hostility toward the board and the administration. He also claimed that Lewis interfered with the reporting of a sexual harassment case to the school's designated Title IX coordinator, among other things. Pettit threatened to resign if Lewis remained in office.In a surprising turn of events, on April 6, Dr. John Lewis tendered his resignation as well.Dr. Steve Pettit (whose official final day at BJU is May 5th) issued a statement regarding Lewis' resignation, saying,“Late this afternoon, I was notified that Bob Jones University Board of Trustees Chairman Dr. John Lewis has resigned from the Board of Trustees effective immediately. He has served BJU for 32 years as a board member and seven years as chairman. His desire was to honor the mission and vision of BJU and he worked tirelessly to that end. During his tenure, the University secured regional accreditation through SACSCOC and regained our tax exemption. I wish Dr. Lewis God's best.”The reason for Lewis' resignation has not immediately been given – it's also unclear whether Lewis' resignation will affect Pettit's decision to resign.Regardless, it's clear that change is coming to Bob Jones University.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On this episode of the Preacher Boys podcast, Eric Skwarczynski chats with IBLP survivor Emily Elizabeth Anderson about Jinger Duggar Vuolo's new book, Becoming Free Indeed.In this episode, Emily shares her thoughts on the book and its portrayal of the dangerous theology of Bill Gothard and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP).Emily talks about how she appreciated Jinger's specific references to the implications of Gothard's teachings and stories, even if they weren't directly stated in IBLP materials. However, Emily also raises concerns about Jinger's continued reluctance to hold her parents accountable for their role in her upbringing.Another issue discussed in the episode is Jinger's problematic association with John MacArthur and her privileged position as a celebrity in evangelical culture. Emily brings up the experiences of other women who may have had different, less fortunate experiences.Finally, Emily and Eric delve into Jinger's word choice and whether or not she accurately labeled IBLP as a cult.Tune in to this thought-provoking conversation on the Preacher Boys podcast.________________Support the Preacher Boys Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/preacherboysPurchase a Preacher Boys shirt, mask, sticker, or other merch to rep the show! https://www.teepublic.com/user/preacher-boys-podcast________________Find more stories regarding the IFB movement by visiting:– preacherboysdoc.com– https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/– https://twitter.com/preacherboysdoc-– https://www.instagram.com/preacherboysdoc/To connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy