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Wes and Scott talk with Aaron Francis about Fusion for Laravel, a new way to seamlessly integrate PHP into JavaScript. They discuss how Fusion expands on Inertia, its potential for React support, and how it simplifies full-stack development. Show Notes 00:00 Welcome to Syntax! 01:22 Aaron's background in PHP Yii Laravel 02:27 What is Fusion for Laravel? Fusion for Laravel 09:14 How Fusion works 13:57 The benefits of Laravel 19:18 Invalidation and caching 25:20 Brought to you by Sentry.io 25:32 Optimistic UI 28:28 React integration? 31:44 Fusion's original name (and the naming process) 33:30 Laravel's approach to frontend frameworks Livewire 37:32 Databases and scaling 41:27 Postgres extensibility and hosting options Crunchy Data Xata 47:44 The vision for Fusion 48:31 Sick Picks + Shameless Plugs Sick Picks Aaron: Better Display CLI Shameless Plugs Aaron: High Performance SQLite Mastering Postgres Screencasting.com Hit us up on Socials! Syntax: X Instagram Tiktok LinkedIn Threads Wes: X Instagram Tiktok LinkedIn Threads Scott: X Instagram Tiktok LinkedIn Threads Randy: X Instagram YouTube Threads
Join Ron Price for a lesson in avoiding the 'germs' that sicken our relationships: Escalation, Negative Interpretations, Invalidation, Avoidance/Withdrawal, and No Fun. But once we're aware of them, we can work to fight against them.
In this episode, we're diving into the often-overlooked world of neurodivergence in eating disorder treatment with the amazing Livia Sara from @livlabelfree! Ever feel like the “one-size-fits-all” approach in treatment just doesn't fit? Livia shares her experiences and insights on what happens when treatment spaces miss the mark on neurodivergent-affirming care, and why that can feel invalidating—and even traumatic. Join us for a deep yet lively conversation as we unpack how treatment can actually be inclusive and empowering for neurodivergent folks, making healing a journey that truly honors individual lived experience! ABOUT LIVIA SARA Livia Sara is an autism advocate and eating disorder survivor that now helps others overcome their own mental barriers through her books, courses, and coaching programs. She is the author of the blog livlabelfree.com and the host of the Liv Label Free Podcast. Livia is a lifelong learner that loves listening to audiobooks, going on walks, and reading the latest science on all things neurodiversity and eating disorders! Livia struggled with an ED for nearly a decade while being undiagnosed neurodivergent (autistic and ADHD) all throughout the duration of her illness. Discovering the underlying neurodiversity component caused everything to "click" for her, and allowed her to see that many of her "ED behaviors" were simply manifestations of neurodivergent traits. Because she had been traumatized by a system that neither recognized nor affirmed her neurodiversity, she has made it her mission to help educate and bring awareness to the underserved niche of neurodivergence and eating disorders! FOLLOW AND CONTACT LIVIA Website: https://livlabelfree.com Books: https://livlabelfreebooks.com Email: livia@livlabelfree.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livlabelfree Podcast: https://www.livlabelfree.com/podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LivLabelFree INTERESTED IN HANGING OUT MORE IN DR. MARIANNE-LAND? Follow me on Instagram @drmariannemiller Check out my virtual, self-paced ARFID and Selective Eating course In the US, UK, Canada, or Australia? Chat with me about my online binge eating program that provides 1:1 virtual coaching support and online curriculum. It is called the Elite Binge Eating Recovery Method. Need a place to start? Check out my self-paced, virtual, anti-diet, subscription-based curriculum. It is called Dr. Marianne-Land's Binge Eating Recovery Membership. Live in California, Texas, or Washington D.C. and interested in eating disorder therapy with me? Sign up for a free, 15-minute phone consultation HERE or via my website, and I'll get you to where you need to be! Check out my blog. Want more information? Email me at hello@mariannemiller.com
Send us a textSince getting into ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), I have come to understand that I have gift trauma. This is a form of relational trauma (sometimes referred to as little t trauma) that is a result of something happening in the context of a relationship over time. For me, this came as a result of feeling emotionally invalidated through gifts in my past relationships. This week's episode 285 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about when gifts become trauma- emotional invalidation in relationships!If you feel like you don't know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself, or how to be in relationships or organizations, it's probably because you're more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women. This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You'll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what's not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer. In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm sharing some examples from my life where I have felt emotionally invalidated when family members or romantic partners have bought (or not bought) me gifts, how my relationship with my sweetheart is healing this trauma for me, and the importance of releasing expectations of others to find peace.Let this be your reminder that you do not have to stay in relationships with people who continually invalidate you, whether it has to do with gifts or not.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don't forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep 131: Let Go of Your Expectations of Others and Meet Your Own NeedsCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaGet a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a textSince getting into ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), I have come to understand that I have gift trauma. This is a form of relational trauma (sometimes referred to as little t trauma) that is a result of something happening in the context of a relationship over time. For me, this came as a result of feeling emotionally invalidated through gifts in my past relationships. This week's episode 285 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about when gifts become trauma- emotional invalidation in relationships!If you feel like you don't know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself, or how to be in relationships or organizations, it's probably because you're more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women. This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You'll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what's not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer. In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm sharing some examples from my life where I have felt emotionally invalidated when family members or romantic partners have bought (or not bought) me gifts, how my relationship with my sweetheart is healing this trauma for me, and the importance of releasing expectations of others to find peace.Let this be your reminder that you do not have to stay in relationships with people who continually invalidate you, whether it has to do with gifts or not.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don't forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep 131: Let Go of Your Expectations of Others and Meet Your Own NeedsCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaGet a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Zach and Laura discuss the launch of their new book, Reconnect, and how couples can use it to improve their relationship. They delve into an in-depth discussion on the concept of gaslighting, clarifying that it involves malicious, intentional manipulation—far different from the common emotional invalidation many couples experience. Episode Highlights: How to Use Reconnect: Zach and Laura suggest couples can work through the book slowly, section by section, or use it more casually, dipping into exercises or conversations as needed. They emphasize flexibility in how the book is used to foster meaningful conversations and connection. Gaslighting vs. Emotional Invalidation: They break down the difference between true gaslighting and more common relational behaviors, like emotional invalidation. They stress that many couples mislabel situations as gaslighting when, in fact, they involve misunderstandings or disagreements about past events. Parallel Universes Technique: Zach shares a therapeutic approach where he helps couples understand that their different realities may never align. He introduces the idea of “parallel universes” as a way for partners to acknowledge each other's feelings without requiring complete agreement on the facts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why are neurodivergent people at an increased risk of experiencing trauma? In this episode, Livia Sara chats with Dr. Neff, a neurodivergent psychologist and founder of Neurodivergent Insights where she creates education and wellness resources for neurodivergent adults. Dr. Neff is the author of the book “Self-Care for Autistic People” and she has published in several peer-reviewed journals. Passionate about distilling complex research into visually accessible formats, she translates research into visual pixels which you can find on her website, Instagram, and digital workbooks. Beyond her visual endeavors, Dr. Neff co-hosts the "Divergent Conversations" podcast and spearheads a vibrant learning community tailored for neurodivergent adults. We discuss: Struggles with mental health as an undiagnosed autistic child Using external identities for structure and a sense of self Increased susceptibility of autistic individuals to trauma Concept of traumatic invalidation and its impact on the self Raising children with neurodivergent needs, including ARFID Creating a neurodiversity-affirming environment
The invalidation triple threat is when you:Tell your wife she's wrong to think that wayTell your wife she's wrong/immature to feel that wayTell your wife she shouldn't be hurt by you acting that way/justifying your actionsDoing this over and over is what KILLS marriages.So, stop killing your marriage TODAY.Doing this could very well save your marriage.Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S. If you're a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible sexual, mental and emotional intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Strong Men Strong Marriages program.
On this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon discusses validation, the different types of verbal/non-verbal invalidation used by narcissistic abusers, and the different types of invalidating families. Plus, we discuss the silent treatment, gaslighting, stonewalling, feeling small, dehumanization, love bombing, trust building, and the idealization stage of narcissistic abuse. If you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please click here or send us an email at narcissistapocalypse@gmail.com To help out our podcast, please fill out our listener survey, click here. PODCAST RECOMMENDATIONS: Perfect Prey With Dr. Christine Cocchiola | Click Here The Covert Narcissism Podcast | Click Here Something Was Wrong | Click Here When Dating Hurts Podcast | Click Here If you or someone you know are experiencing abuse, you are not alone. DomesticShelters.org offers an extensive library of articles and resources that can help you make sense of what you're experiencing, connect you with local resources and find ways to heal and move forward. Visit www.domesticshelters.org to access this free resource. If you need help moving due to domestic violence, Shelter Movers may be able to help you. They operate by referral. Clients may be referred by any person of authority (social worker, doctor, police, crisis counselor, teacher, etc.) or public agency (shelter, hospital, school, workplace, place of worship, sexual assault centre, etc.). To reach them, click here. Join our new Community Social Network at https://community.narcissistapocalypse.com/ Join our Instagram Channel at https://www.instagram.com/narcissistapocalypse Join our Youtube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpTIgjTqVJa4caNWMIAJllA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Many taxpayers parting ways with the United States must file Form 8854 (Initial and Annual Expatriation Statement). Failure to do so is problematic because it can expose taxpayers to the notorious “exit tax.” Few people have seemed to notice, but significant changes might be on the way. This article analyzes worldwide obligations of U.S. individual taxpayers, exit taxes, foundations for Form 8854 filing duties, legislative proposals for increased enforcement, a recent case invalidating the IRS document that introduced Form 8854, and IRS actions in other contexts where the courts have shot down administrative guidance.
Today I interview Linda Dieffenbach, whose personal healing journey from childhood trauma led her to become a devoted personal transformation coach and holistic practitioner. Linda shares her story of growing up with an emotionally distant and abusive father, being severely bullied by peers at school, and the profound impact of having her pain invalidated when she sought help as a teenager. These experiences left Linda feeling silenced, disempowered, and disconnected from her authentic self.Through learning Reiki and working with a compassionate mentor, Linda began to integrate her painful experiences and rediscover her inner voice. She describes how finally being seen, heard and validated in a safe space was a catalyst for tremendous personal growth and healing. Linda emphasizes the importance of doing the inner work to liberate oneself from past wounds, shame and self-doubt.By reconnecting with her wounded inner child and learning to be self-advocating, Linda found the courage to use her voice, set boundaries, and show up differently in relationships. Her inspiring journey from trauma to empowerment highlights the transformative potential of compassionate support, holistic healing practices, and committed personal development. Linda now assists others in overcoming the effects of trauma and toxic conditioning to achieve self-actualization.__________________Linda Dieffenbach is a devoted and empathetic personal transformation coach and holistic practitioner. She is deeply committed to assisting individuals in overcoming the detrimental effects of trauma and toxic conditioning while guiding them towards self-actualization.Linda's personal healing journey from childhood trauma led her to recognize the transformative potential of Reiki, sparking her enthusiasm for holistic healing practices. Leveraging her background in Social Work, Linda offers a distinctive approach that blends trauma awareness, energy healing expertise, compassionate guidance, and intuitive assistance to empower her clients in attaining clarity, self-awareness, and self-empowerment on their healing and personal growth pathways.She establishes a nurturing and safe space for clients to explore and embrace their personal path to achieving their highest potential. In addition to one-on-one sessions, Linda leads workshops and events that support individuals through their journey of self-discovery and growth.__________________Find Linda here:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/linda.dieffenbach.5 https://www.facebook.com/WellnessInHarmony LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindadieffenbach https://www.linkedin.com/company/wellness-in-harmony-llc/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnessinharmony/ The Wellness Universe: https://www.thewellnessuniverse.com/worldchangers/lindadieffenbach/Overcoming Your Inner Barriers Workbook: https://mailchi.mp/wellnessinharmony.com/inner-barriers Support the Show.I'm Dr. Doreen Downing and I help people find their voice so they can speak without fear. Get the Free 7-Step Guide to Fearless Speaking https://www.doreen7steps.com.
Product-market fit requires both customers willing to pay and stay. It's not just about initial sales, but also retention. Early-stage sales should focus on research and understanding customer problems rather than immediate revenue generation. Founders often skip this crucial research phase.Abstract solutions require focusing on specific problems rather than leading with the technology itself. To create urgency, you need to demonstrate how a problem is growing or intensifying for the customer. If a problem isn't being measured or managed, it's likely not a priority.Early adopters are often those early in their buying journey who are willing to experiment. They buy into the founder as a subject matter expert rather than expecting a fully-built product. Successful startups often start by focusing on a specific niche before expanding horizontally. Being highly specialized allows you to understand customer problems better than they do.Invalidation is a healthy part of the startup process. If you're not invalidating assumptions, you're likely not learning or going deep enough. Sales feedback is valuable for positioning and refinement, but product vision should come from founders or product leads. Salespeople should not drive product vision. Demonstrating expertise by setting boundaries on what your product does (and doesn't do) can actually increase customer confidence.
Welcome to the Hughes Hubbard Anti-Corruption & Internal Investigations Practice Group's podcast All Things Investigation. In this podcast, host Tom Fox welcomes back Tom Lee to take a deep dive in the Supreme Court's invalidation of the Chevron deference and what it means going forward. In this episode, special counsel Tom Lee joins the podcast to discuss the Supreme Court's recent decision in the Loper Bright case, which overruled the long-standing Chevron deference. Lee explains the implications of this ruling on how courts interpret ambiguous statutory terms and provides insights into the decision's grounding in the Administrative Procedure Act rather than the Constitution. He also discusses the potential impact on past cases decided under Chevron, future regulatory challenges, and the strategic considerations for companies navigating the new legal landscape. Throughout, Lee offers a thorough analysis of the evolving legal environment and its consequences for administrative law. Key Highlights Overview of the Loper Case and Chevron Deference Supreme Court's Decision and Its Implications Consequences of Overruling Chevron Deference Future Challenges and Legal Strategies Administrative Procedures Act and Its Impact Resources: Hughes Hubbard & Reed website Thomas Lee HHR Client Alert-Litigation After the Demise of Chevron Deference
Why do we often feel invalidated, and how does it impact our well-being? In this episode, we explore the concept of invalidation, how it affects us, and the importance of accepting our emotions. Through personal stories and insightful examples, you'll learn how invalidation can manifest in everyday interactions and the steps to counter it. From understanding the value of tears to embracing all parts of ourselves, this episode is a heartfelt guide to fostering self-compassion and emotional health. Tune in and discover how embracing our emotions can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.I trust you found this episode enlightening and stimulating. If you're eager for more, subscribe to our podcast for regular updates. I'm always keen to hear your reflections and personal journeys. Connect with me on Instagram as @nicolereneejensen. For a deeper understanding of my work and how it can empower you, visit https://linktr.ee/nicolereneejensen
Episode #850 In this episode, Doug and Brad delve into the often overlooked but critical issue of invalidation within marriages. They explore how invalidating your wife's feelings, whether intentionally or unintentionally, can create deep wounds and erode the foundation of your relationship. Invalidation can take many forms - from dismissing your wife's emotions, minimizing her experiences, or failing to acknowledge her perspective. These actions, although sometimes subtle, can have devastating effects, leading to feelings of isolation, resentment, and a lack of trust. Listeners will learn effective strategies for creating a safe and supportive environment where your wife feels heard, respected, and valued. By fostering emotional safety, you can strengthen your bond, increase intimacy, and build a more resilient and loving marriage. Tune in to discover the steps you can take to stop invalidating your wife, start validating her experiences, and transform your relationship for the better. Don't miss this insightful and transformative discussion on building a safe space for your wife. __________ Hungry for more? Head over to our Bonus page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we've developed at The Powerful Man.
There is a difference in neurodivergent people with how they perceive the world and how others think they should be perceiving the world. These views from the perspective of the neurodivergent can be dismissed or ignored, and it can be a form of emotional abuse. This week, Jess and Ellie discuss the matter and their experiences struggling with chronic invalidation. Links:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheNeurodiverseWorkplaceYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GiftedKidMessyAdult/featuredFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/299641583044427Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gifted-kid-messy-adult/id1723375479Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6y0dEh8LfNFYJEXPGS9aRMCoach Jessica Michaels: https://coachjessicamichaels.com/
We chat to psychologist Chris Cheers on how to navigate bi-erasure, whether it's internalised or if you're copping it from all angles
We chat to psychologist Chris Cheers on how to navigate bi-erasure, whether it's internalised or if you're copping it from all angles
Questions: 1. Is Micro-Invalidation a precursor to narcissistic devaluation? Can micro-invalidation be stopped before the devaluation phase begins? 2. What connections can be drawn between devaluation, micro invalidation and discard? Are we all guilty of using these tactics at some point? 3. Is it possible for genuine love and concern to exist within a relationship plagued by micro-invalidation? Can micro-invalidation be unintentional? 4. What are some signs that your partner is invalidating you? Can you be the reason behind your partner's invalidation or is it strictly linked to their perception of you and/or themselves? How can we use Krishnamurti's understanding of the observer and the observed to prevent micro-invalidation in relationships? ### Metaphysical and Theoretical Perspectives 1. How might the concept of micro-invalidation affect one's vibrational frequency and energetic resonance within a relationship? 2. Can the principles of quantum entanglement provide insights into the impact of micro-invalidation on the deep connections between partners? 3. In what ways could micro-invalidation be viewed as a form of energy disruption within the metaphysical framework of chi or prana? 4. How does micro-invalidation align or conflict with the idea of non-duality in metaphysical thought? 5. Could addressing micro-invalidation be a pathway to accessing higher dimensions of consciousness and understanding the fabric of relational reality? ### Cosmological and Spiritual Explorations 6. How might the cycles of the cosmos and astrological influences impact one's susceptibility to micro-invalidation in relationships? 7. Can addressing micro-invalidation help align oneself with cosmic rhythms and achieve spiritual enlightenment in relationships? 8. What role does micro-invalidation play in the karmic journey of the soul across multiple lifetimes? 9. How does micro-invalidation relate to the concept of dharma and one's spiritual duty in intimate relationships? 10. Could resolving micro-invalidation help harmonize the microcosm of the individual with the macrocosm of the universe? ### Shamanism and Spiritual Practices 11. How do various shamanic traditions view micro-invalidation and its impact on relational healing practices? 12. In what ways can shamanic rituals and practices help address and heal micro-invalidation in relationships? 13. Can the recognition and resolution of micro-invalidation serve as a form of spiritual protection against negative relational energies? 14. How does the concept of micro-invalidation intersect with the shamanic practice of soul retrieval and integration in relationships? 15. Could addressing micro-invalidation be considered a form of spiritual sacrifice that enhances one's connection to the divine and their partner? ### Psychological and Psychiatric Considerations 16. How does experiencing micro-invalidation affect the development of one's self-concept and identity within a relationship? 17. What are the psychological effects and potential long-term impacts of micro-invalidation on mental health? 18. Can micro-invalidation be used as a therapeutic tool to uncover and address deeper relational issues? 19. How can addressing micro-invalidation help resolve deep-seated psychological conflicts and traumas within relationships? 20. How does the recognition of micro-invalidation interact with the principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy in fostering healthier relationship dynamics? ### Relationship Dynamics and Interpersonal Psychology 21. How does micro-invalidation influence power dynamics within intimate relationships? 22. Can recognizing and addressing micro-invalidation foster deeper emotional intimacy and trust between partners? 23. What are the implications of micro-invalidation for the maintenance of long-term monogamous relationships? 24. How does micro-invalidation impact the negotiation of emotional boundaries and consent within relationships? 25. Is micro-invalidation a precursor to narcissistic devaluation, and can it be stopped before the devaluation phase begins? ### Sociocultural and Ethical Dimensions 26. How do cultural norms and societal expectations shape perceptions and occurrences of micro-invalidation in relationships? 27. Can addressing micro-invalidation challenge and transform societal attitudes towards emotional abuse and relational dynamics? 28. How does the concept of micro-invalidation intersect with feminist theories and the empowerment of individuals in relationships? 29. Can micro-invalidation be seen as a form of resistance against the commodification and objectification of emotions in modern society? 30. How does addressing micro-invalidation relate to ethical considerations around consent, autonomy, and respect for others in relationships? ### Theoretical Physics and Consciousness 31. How might the principles of entropy and order in theoretical physics provide a framework for understanding micro-invalidation in relationships? 32. Can micro-invalidation be viewed as a form of energy disruption that affects one's creative and intellectual capacities within a relationship? 33. How does micro-invalidation intersect with the concept of the observer effect in quantum mechanics, particularly in shaping relational reality? 34. Can addressing micro-invalidation be a means of accessing higher states of consciousness and understanding the nature of relational reality? 35. How does micro-invalidation relate to the concept of time and the perception of temporal experience within relationships? ### Integrative and Holistic Approaches 36. How can an integrative approach that combines addressing micro-invalidation with other holistic practices such as meditation, yoga, and mindfulness enhance overall relationship well-being? 37. Can resolving micro-invalidation be a tool for achieving greater harmony and balance in one's life, both relationally and spiritually? 38. How does addressing micro-invalidation intersect with the principles of holistic health and wellness in relationships? 39. Can recognizing and resolving micro-invalidation be seen as a form of self-care that promotes long-term physical, emotional, and spiritual health within relationships? 40. How does addressing micro-invalidation relate to the concept of self-actualization and the realization of one's full potential in relationships? ### Controversial and Provocative Inquiries 41. Is it possible for genuine love and concern to exist within a relationship plagued by micro-invalidation? 42. Can micro-invalidation be unintentional, and what are the implications of unintentional emotional harm in relationships? 43. What are some signs that your partner is invalidating you, and can you be the reason behind your partner's invalidation? 44. Are we all guilty of using tactics of devaluation, micro-invalidation, and discard at some point, and what does this suggest about human relational behavior? 45. How can we use Krishnamurti's understanding of the observer and the observed to prevent micro-invalidation in relationships? 46. Can micro-invalidation ever be justified as a form of self-protection or boundary-setting, or is it inherently harmful? 47. How can one differentiate between micro-invalidation and genuine constructive criticism in intimate relationships?
This podcast talks about The Cruelest Tactic of Invalidation & Reactive Abuse by a Covert Narcissist. For phone coaching go to https://askyaz.wixsite.com/thegameexposed. To ask a quick question and get a personalized video back: https://www.wisio.com/The_GameEXPOSED. Read my books free with amazon kindle free trial: “Regain Your Power” on Amazon
We're talking about how one of the characteristics of a cult is that they often present as a really good thing. A lot of times, they are doing really good things on the surface. If this weren't the case, people wouldn't be joining them. Additionally, not every cult starts as a cult. Sometimes it starts as on organization with really good intentions to help people. We'll discuss all of that, in this episode. https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_edmondson_how_to_spot_a_cultSarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than twelve films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is also a well-established voice-over artist for popular series such as Transformers: Cybertron and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2005, when NXIVM, a personal and professional development company, promised to provide the tools and insight Sarah needed to reach her potential, she was intrigued. Over her twelve-year tenure, she went from student to coach and eventually operated her own NXIVM center in Vancouver. Questions kept coming up about the organization's rules and practices, which came to a head in 2017 when she accepted an invitation from her best friend to join DOS, a “secret sisterhood” within NXIVM.In 2019, Sarah published Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life, with Kristine Gasbarre. In this tell-all memoir, she shares her story from the moment she takes her first seminar to her harrowing fight to get out. Her full story as a whistleblower is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (downloaded over 25 million times) and The Vow, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary series on NXIVM. Now with the launch of “A Little Bit Culty,” Sarah and her co-host/husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames are keeping the conversation going by discussing the healing process with the help of experts and fellow survivors.Uncertain is a podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for those in the aftermath of Spiritual Abuse. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to like, subscribe, or leave a review on your favorite podcasting listening apparatus. You can support the podcast by going to TearsofEden.org/supportTo get in touch with us please email tearsofeden.org@gmail.comFollow on Instagram @uncertainpodcastTranscript is unedited for typos and misspellings:Katherine: Well, hello, Sarah, Sarah: how are you? I'm great. How are you Katherine: doing? Okay. Do you know? Okay. It has been gloomy and St. Louis and today the first sign of sunshine and I like went outside to like be in the sun, but it was 30 degrees. And so I didn't stay there very long, but. It's beautiful today. Beautiful to see the sun.How are, how's the weather in your area? Sarah: I'm in Atlanta. We're in our very brief winter and it's, it's, it's just a couple of weeks, I think. And it really fluctuates on a day to day basis and I have no idea what's in store and I'm just getting used to that as a concept. Yeah. Katherine: I just kind of ups and downs.Yeah. Yes. I have relatives in the Atlanta area and I hear about the bipolar weather. Of yeah, very [00:02:00] similar to St. Louis fun times. Well, thank you so much for being here and your openness to telling your story here. Really excited to hear from you just about The impact of your experience in NXIVM and then your recovery process.You also have your podcast, a little bit culty that I highly recommend to everyone. It's just entertaining. It's good stuff and you learn a lot, but then it's also super entertaining. And so I hope folks will listen to that as well, but you get to interact with a lot of cult survivors through that. And so I w I'm very interested to hear.Just patterns and things that you have seen as you have been doing your podcast and working with folks in this, this area. But just to just start us, start us off for folks who may not know who you are or have not seen the vow or maybe haven't. About on HBO or the, or have listened to your podcast and you give us a little summary of who you are and why you are here. Sarah: [00:03:00] Sure. So my cliff notes slash, you know, elevator story, which I've had to use a fair bit since moving to Atlanta is that I am, you know, from Canada, born and raised, I. I pursued acting as a teenager and young adult, and I took a little tangent, a little detour when I joined a personal and professional development program, which I was taking to help me with my goals as an actor and my relationship at the time.And that was really wonderful in many ways for a long time at first. And it ended up being 12 years later, after many missed red flags, I didn't understand what I was looking at. A high control group or some, some people know this term as a cult, but I realized there's basically bad things going on behind closed doors and the personal development program that I'd been touting for many years as an advocate and as a recruiter for the company.I say company loosely was really a front [00:04:00] for our pipeline, for the leadership. To coerce and manipulate and ultimately not in all cases and not not for me, but for many people sex traffic as well So that's why it is now known as the sex cult in the in the newsletter And I newsletter sorry in the newspapers The headlines media does love a good sensational story.Sure do. Yes, as they sure do. And my role in that was that I was one of the whistleblowers that showed the physical abuse, which is the physical manifestation of emotional abuse, which had been going on for years in the form of branding. And I showed that on the New York times cover and that led to an investigation and the trial and eventual conviction of the leader.Six week trial led to 120 year conviction of the leader. And that was I left six years ago. The trial was about four years ago and three years ago, two and a half years ago. My sense of time is a [00:05:00] little off. My husband and I were in a docuseries that, that documented this whole journey, how we got in and how we escaped on HBO max called the vow.And that really propelled us into this really interesting space where, where we were now sharing something that a lot of people could relate to is like, Oh, I would've, I would've totally joined that. And that's flipped the script as a lot up until then. So many people we encountered, especially since leaving and shouting from the rooftops, we were in a cult you know, they were watching it going.I could have, I could have fallen for that when that's very different when the past people would say I would never have fallen for that. And that's opened up a whole, you know, set of bizarre doors and opportunities for us as whistleblowers and survivors to speak about our experience. Educate people. And that's been like a phenomenally rewarding thing.And ironically, and I didn't say this at the beginning, I, one of the reasons I joined next team as well was to help people. I was, you know, I really enjoyed that process and [00:06:00] now I get to do it for real on the other side and help educate, shine light, prevent, help people get out. If they're already in something, help people heal.If they've already gotten out. All the different stages along the way and help families. And overall just bring awareness to this topic that is kind of become a lot more mainstream now. Narcissism, cultic abuse, gaslighting. It's much more accessible and people are more aware of it. So it's been an interesting time to be part of the zeitgeist in that way.And and then now we have a podcast that emerged in COVID when we had stopped acting. So it's been a interesting, organic progression to be a podcaster as I wrote a book and also and now doing more speaking events and panels on the topic. So yeah, here we are. There we are. Yeah. Cliff notes.Katherine: Yes. I remember watching the vow. I don't remember. I think it was in during COVID watching it and [00:07:00] had just left an abusive church. And that was cult cults like they're definitely very high control, very lot of, you know, stuff being hidden by religiosity and God speak and Jesus talk. And I, I, a lot of us.who had left were like, have you seen The Vow? Have you guys been watching The Vow? Are you watching The Vow? Because The Vow is like very, very, very similar to what we just went through. And I think that that was the thing that stood out to me as well as how engaging it was. And it just I was like, that sounds like Christianity, like so much of so much of the, the attraction and the way that like the evangelizing that was happening and the way that people were getting brought into this thing that, that was presented as this very good thing.And in some ways it seemed like it actually was a good thing. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that part of [00:08:00] it of like what attracted you to this. And like, what, what drew you in as a very professional human being? Sarah: Yeah. You know what? There's every single group that we've ever talked to anyone about in our podcast.There is always good stuff on the outside. And that's actually one of the first questions we ask people so that others can. See what some of those red flags are of like, you know, what's the catch with this perfect, shiny, amazing, happy community. Well, what, what drew me in was a number of things. And, and partly it was, you know, the age that I was.Where I was, you know, doing this acting work and it wasn't really filling my soul. It wasn't filling my cup in terms of like, this is not the meaningful work that I want to be doing. And the thought of. Cause really they offered a lot of things. The community was presented almost in a way that would appeal to whatever the person wants.And I later learned to do that for others. Like what, what is it that you're looking for? What I was looking for was a, [00:09:00] a community, a supportive, helpful community. I was looking for more meaning and purpose in my life being a, you know, Being in a Budweiser commercial wasn't like really that meaningful to me, even though it paid well, but it was like, this is not what I signed up for or what I wanted as an actor.And I've always been into personal development. I've always believed that. And I still believe actually that you can work on yourself or be, you know, be better or like work through. And there was a term that they used. I don't think I was really using this term before was limiting beliefs. That there's beliefs that we have, and I actually do believe that we have still believe that we have limiting beliefs about ourselves.Like Katherine: something like, I can't do it. Like, yeah. Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. Just like, you know, even as an actor, like even thinking things, thinking something like, which was had at the time, like I always get nervous and auditions, there's some beliefs under that about myself that caused me to be nervous. [00:10:00] Which would limit me about, you know, without, with auditions, cause that's like a big part of being an actor.So I really love the idea of working through my limiting beliefs, being, the best version of myself and, and striving to follow this model. And one of the things that appealed to me, I mean, I didn't like it at the beginning, but I eventually did like it after my first five day training, which is my first foray into Nexium is they offered this growth path in the form of.Like a martial arts system with different levels and stripes and colors and I liked that. Like I, there was something about that that was measurable for me. If I do this, I'll go to the next level and that, that appealed to me because an actor, we don't have that either, like get the job or you don't, you don't really know why you do or you don't, and you could do all the right things, but not actually go to the next level.So I liked the concept of being able to. Complete a task, work on a skill, and, and evolve. It was certainty. With certainty. Yeah, it was [00:11:00] certainty in a very uncertain world. Needless to say, I mean, it was all bullshit, but if it was what it was supposed to be, it would have been great. Katherine: Yeah. And if it is, if it is something that like is actually delivering what it's promising, then it would be a really awesome. Yes, exactly. Yeah, so, so those were some of the good things that drew you in just to create some context for folks what were some of the, like, things that started alarms, that started going off that were like, Hmm, maybe this isn't what it, what it's promising.Sarah: I mean, Honestly, there were, there were red flags right from the beginning, but I didn't know what I was looking at. If I had done, if I, if somebody invited me to something now that was. And with the education I have, I wouldn't have even signed the paperwork, let alone attended because I would have known, Oh, I'm feeling pressured and they're using a scarcity mentality in order to, you know, [00:12:00] like this is the only one.And when, you know, when are you going to do this and when are you going to change your life? And any hesitation I had would be. Proof of how I was not ready to commit to my goals. Like it was a lot of manipulation tactics just getting me there. And then once I was there a lot of red flags in regards to what I now know as setting the stage for future abuse.Even as simple as they said, like, you're going to feel uncomfortable and you're going to feel like you're going to, you're going to doubt that maybe even this is the right place for you to be. That internal dialogue is an indication of what they call the disintegration. So you're either integrated on a concept or disintegrated and any internal questioning was just a sign that you needed to work on something.I know. So, if you agree to that, which I did. Because I'm, I'm assuming that these people who, I just never, I never projected bad intent because that's the thing is when you give yourself over to a higher power or a higher authority, [00:13:00] you're saying, you know, better than I do. And tell me, tell me what to do.Tell me how to be. And I was, I was like, okay, well, I pay just paid like 20. 2, 100 is 2, 500 Canadian to spend five days in a room and I want to work on my issues. I am saying, I trust you. You got to tell me what you see and if what they're saying is different than how I feel, that's a problem. Katherine: Yeah, absolutely. Oh, and that's such a such an easy thing to happen and then it's presented as you're like to listen to someone else tell you and name you and tell you what you need to work on and listen to someone else outside of you is. Is held up as like a humble thing and like a character quality.Yes. And if you were to resist and ask questions or say, I don't feel comfortable with Sarah: this. And that's, Oh, then I'm also being defiant. Katherine: Yeah. Yeah. Or selfish or, or you don't want to work on your issues or you don't really care Sarah: about this. Yeah. I mean, they said that you should be able to ask [00:14:00] questions and put your hand up, but it was very clear when people did ask questions, you know, how they felt about that.And also like it was, I learned very quickly that there were names for the feelings I was having that weren't good. So I was just suppress them. And I want also, I'm a good girl, I want to be a good girl, I want to get it right, I like the gold stars. Yeah. I like the validation. Katherine: Absolutely. And there was a very clear like type of person that fit and you like, learned to Sarah: fit.Yes. I learned to fit and I wanted to get the, I wanted to go up the levels and I wanted to get the next stripe. And I learned to override the feelings because the other thing they said is like, you're here to work on your shit. You're here to work on your stuff. So. Yeah. You know, don't leave. We're just talking about these things.If the sash around your neck, there was a sash systems for the martial arts ranks. If that bothers you, why can't you even talk about it in a room? Like we're just talking about it. So I should be able to talk about it. And so therefore don't leave. If I'm leaving, I'm just running away from my issues.so [00:15:00] many double binds. We call them massive double. Katherine: Yes, literally the phrase that popped into my head. Yes. Well, I, I want folks to be able to hear your whole story. And so I'll just plug your book, which is called scarred. Correct. Sarah: Yes, thank you. And I don't know if you ever do giveaways on your podcast, but we can do that too.Katherine: Let's do it. Why not? Yeah, I haven't done one of those in a long time. Let's do it. And then a little bit culty, and then also the vow on HBO, or not HBO on max. So those are places that folks can get more. About your story and actually get your get your full story and all the details about that.And so I want to step into talking about the impact of this. And if you want to talk about the impact like while you were in it and like what, what this coercive control manipulation was doing to you while you were in it. And then very specifically after after you left, like how was so I'm going to ask you to tell us a little [00:16:00] bit about how you experienced this, this trauma showing up for you and what, what did this experience do to you?And if you want to also share some examples of just similar patterns you've seen in folks that you have been interviewing on your podcast as well. Yeah, just paint us a picture of what happens after this experience. Sarah: After leaving? Yes. I mean, there was many different stages, I would say, like I've been out for six years and there was a lot of just grief, like I was, I had a massive PTSD reaction or potentially CPTSD just from the sort of ongoing abuse, but I, in many ways, I was like kind of the, one of the least Can I swear on this podcast?I was one of the least fucked with because, because I was a recruiter and I brought so many people in many ways, they kind of left me alone. I, I had, I was in Vancouver. I was running, I had been running my center. Which is sort of like a. You know, a separate, like, it's sort of like a franchise. Like I had my, I had [00:17:00] my center and I was using the tools and the parts of the program that were good and that I liked.And I, you know, brought people in that were going up the pipeline to the leadership. So they kind of left me alone, but I, so I didn't have the same amount of. 100 percent commitment. Like I'd never moved to Albany. I'd never moved and given up my whole life. And I always had my foot in reality. In other words, like my foot outside of the compound, it wasn't an actual compound, but some people gave up everything to be there, you know?And so that kept me in many ways, it protected me and gave me a soft place to land. There's a lot of people I could go to and that I always knew that we. Were you know, people thought that we were in a cult. I, I knew that. And I, and I thought that they just didn't understand. Mm-Hmm. , right. I just, I was like, oh, they don't get it.And for, for the first couple of weeks. And, you know, I was just going through those people and being like, okay, you were right. And I'm sorry. And I'm really kind of fucked up right [00:18:00] now. Shouting from the rooftop and like doing all the stuff that we did to get the media attention and things like that so there was like different stages of first I was on this yeah rampage of like I got to take this thing down and I felt like I was one of the There's a few of us that were at the forefront of that and I think in many ways It was the ones that of us that could whereas other people were so had been so head fucked and so gaslit and so manipulated that they were like, you know, literally in bed depressed Couldn't move or, or just had to shut down and like pretend it never happened and move cities and like not even deal with it, which people dealt with it in different ways.My dealing with it was because I've been so public and so such a vouching you know, zealot. I was like a fundamentalist personal growth junkie. Yeah. This is the way, this is the only way, red flag, to person to, you know, to grow and to reach enlightenment or whatever. Like. And so then on the other side, I had to be just as loud.So that was like one big stage, and I spent [00:19:00] like a long time just on the phone with people, trying to de enroll them, trying to explain like, yes, I was branded, and no, I didn't consent, and no, I didn't know it was Keith's initials, and like, trying to show them that it was bad. And for the people who are real diehards, there's some people who still don't think that was bad.Because they've, they've so committed their lives to this path. They're so bought in and to look now and go like, Oh, maybe this isn't good is just too hard for them. Like they're just, yeah, it's Katherine: just too much given to it and it's Sarah: just, yeah, it's easier to go. No, this was good. You know, Keith may have. I've heard them say you know, this is, maybe he's not conventional, but he always, he's a good person.Like they, they can't even fathom that maybe he's a bad person. So. That was one of the stages also was like just reallycoming to terms with like I lost so many of my of my good friends and I and I and I lost them [00:20:00] quickly. I lost them overnight. So that was a big part of it. Like leaving my community again because I had some community and friends outside of it. I think that was partly what saved me. I, you know, I hadn't burnt all my bridges, I'd burnt many bridges, for sure, but not all of them.Thankfully there were some friendships I never touched, I never tried to recruit, even though I did try to recruit many people. So I'd say all of, you know, that was a big stage. And then and then I got pregnant. I got pregnant with my second child a couple years after we got out as I was writing a book.And that was, I was, I was really working through and like having a big catharsis with that process. And having to also say no to, like, I was at that time I was going to do a Tedx talk and I was going to do a bunch of things. I was like, that's gonna be too stressful. And I want to like create a safe, loving incubator for my baby.And that kind of forced me to block out a lot of the stuff that I've been doing. There was like a sort of an ongoing campaign still to [00:21:00] expose and destroy and I mean, by say destroy, like, Make sure that nobody else was recruited into NXIVM and those things happen. Like NXIVM itself does no longer exist.There's no company. Are there people who still believe Keith is good? Yes. So I, that's part of the reason why I'm still talking because I want to get everybody out. . And then, and then, and then I'd say that like, I'm most, I think it's a lifelong healing journey, but there's a lot of things that I've done over the years that have really propelled me to another level of healing and yeah, having kids being kind of forced to stay present and not be in that war, that campaign pulled me to another stage.And then there's just lots of things I do for self care that I wasn't kind of, I wasn't allowed to do. It just wasn't a lot of time for it. Purpose probably. Yeah. On purpose. Yeah. And just like family time and being able to change my schedule and do things like You know, go to the farmer's markets on the [00:22:00] weekend and the old days when in the cult days that like there was never a free weekend, there was never every weekend if there was a free weekend where there wasn't a training and be like, Who should we fly out from the mothership to like, do a coach summit or, you know, oh, there's nothing happening.Let's organize a, you know, nationwide or citywide barbecue and like, it'll be a great enrollment opportunity. Like every weekend there was something going on with the You know, with my center and you know, three nights a week as well, Monday and Wednesday. And anyways, it was like always just go, go, go, go, go.So to be able to get my, you know, reclaim my time and, and like clear my schedule, which I think anyone is in any kind of group doesn't realize until they get out of something and they clear their schedule. They're like, wow, there's so much time devoted to this thing. Right. Katherine: Absolutely. And then probably like a reward for that time commitment is always more and always more and always pushing and, and, and to some extent that's just like wired into our our society.So when we get into a group that's like that, that just [00:23:00] feels so, so normal. It's like, that's just what you do in this group. I remember being in the, the abusive church and like. It was going through a lot and a lot of people were leaving and there would be these like events that we would have every year.And there were a few times where we were like looking around and we're like, we've lost staff. We are exhausted. Can we just not do this event? Can we just Not do this this year, because we're so tired and the leadership was like, it was always like, you know, PR move like no we have to pretend like everything is fine and you have to present like a united front to the, to the, you know, congregation and like having to like, you know, just kind of power through these events, and there wasn't this like posture of like what's best.For you and care. I mean, like want to like intentionally care for this community. That idea of like, no, we know what's best for you and we know what's best. And this is what what's best looks like and always moving and always pushing. [00:24:00] And yeah, just that, that's that environment that I think so many people can relate with, even like a work culture, you know, like, just like.Work cultures can be like that too. And I think it's safe for us to say, well, then that's an unhealthy work culture. We're allowed to say that, like, we don't have to just say, this is just normal. This is just the way it is. Like, no, we can say that's toxic. Like that's not a, not a helpful environment. Did you have any else thing else you wanted to say just about Impact on you, the CPTSD, PTSD, like how is that showing up for you? Sarah: Yeah, I mean, again, different stages. There was a time at the beginning where I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I lost a ton of weight. I was just like, I was, Nippy called it sniper mode.We were just so hypervigilant. Yeah. I didn't know if we were being, you know, like, you know, spied on, if they were coming to get us. We just, yeah, we were a mess. That didn't last too, too long in the scheme of things, but I'm still a little [00:25:00] jumpy. Yeah. Like if, you know, it's so funny. I just said that my husband just made a loud nose in the kitchen and I was like, what was that?Like, you know, I've been broken into. So, you know, things like that. My trust in humanity is definitely restored. Like, it's amazing how, when we stepped away from that. That world, all these incredible people sort of showed up and you'd think maybe I wouldn't trust them right away. But I was like, I, I felt the difference to like a good versus, I wouldn't say bad person, but like, you know, I just, some, some angels showed up and kind of swooped us up and took really good care of us, especially the people that made the vow.Like that was a really wonderful experience and that impact of doing the vow. You know, that could have, that could have gone so many different ways. Like that could have, that could have been a shit show for us. And it wasn't. And like you said, you're, you and your friends were listening and watching going, have you seen the vow?I can tell you, I still get messages from people in all different groups and relationships, mostly things like different [00:26:00] religious offshoots or like particularly closed communities or like the Jehovah's witnesses, a ton of Mormons message, the Mormons especially were like, Oh my goodness, we were in lockdown watching tiger King.And then we were watching the vow and they're like, Holy shit, we're, you know, in a really not good situation. So that, that continues to be very rewarding for me. And, you know, I think that if had there not been so many silver linings from this experience. You know, I don't know if I would have like recovered like I, it was, it was such a, I didn't mention this before the betrayal, the betrayal wound is one of my, one of the things in my, my therapist, I call it therapist Dan Shaw helped me with and who's a, who's a narcissist expert really helped me see is that when you're people that you trust betray you on that level, it can be a wound that is, takes a while to heal.And these were like. People I considered family who knew what Keith was up to and they were lying to us. And that's something that I never, you know, [00:27:00] and I always say we underestimated people's capacity to lie. We just totally took things at face value. Oh, Keith is celibate. Oh, okay, cool. He doesn't need sex.Great. What are all these women around him? Oh, that's part of his team. Like, okay. mean, it's so obvious and I feel probably like I was very naive. Now, but, Katherine: and, yeah, I'm a trusting person, go into relationships thinking, oh, they're lying to me. Yeah. Most Sarah: people don't. Yeah. But I do, what I do know now, and I see in almost every group, there's some term for it, which is basically like in a group like ours and every, every group we've looked at, there's this sort of.Belief that it's okay to lie for the greater good, and it's okay to lie to protect the leader. Or, you know, for, there's some other greater reason it's okay to say, you know, no, we're not doing X, Y, and Z if it means to, to print like. The big picture. It's okay. The ends justify the means. Katherine: Yeah, that ends justify the mean things.Means [00:28:00] thing. You said that people came in like as you were leaving and kind of supported you and you said it felt different. Can you describe what that different feeling was? I mean, there was just no manipulation. Like I remember once having a conversation with, it wasn't even my therapist, just somebody who's a, who was a family friend who was a therapist. And I had shared briefly sort of what had happened and his first response was, wow, that sounds like.Sarah: That sounds really horrible. It sounds really hard. Mm-Hmm. And, and then I was like, whoa. Because in nex Im, if I shared, shared something that bad that had happened, the an the question would be, you know, well, how did you cause that? Mm-Hmm. , and you know, what, you know, or, or, or, how did you author that? Or, what's your responsibility in it?Mm-Hmm. . Or what's missing in you that you felt like you needed to create that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So all that kind of bullshit was, really upsetting. Katherine: It sounds like they believed Sarah: [00:29:00] you. Yeah, they believed me. Yeah. And that's, that's the thing. And also, I had a lot of moments like that where I was like, whoa.That other way was actually really bad. And I had no idea how toxic it was until I was No longer dealt with that way. Katherine: Yeah. Yeah. And in the church world, it's called the, the, the reverse of that is like, well, what's your responsibility or, you know, why don't you give, or you're being bitter or you're angry or whatever.And then, and then they'll call that accountability and character development and, and it's framed as this like good thing. When it's just. Invalidation and bypassing. Sarah: Yeah, I definitely see that in almost every religion is that people are shamed into like to not express a concern because then they're then they're complaining or they're stinking thinking or it's negative or whatever.So they learn to not say it so there's no there's no place to bring forward a concern. And that's a that's a really that's a [00:30:00] really, you know, great protective mechanism for somebody who's a. Cult a hole. Do you know what I mean? Like, or somebody who's just being a, you know wants to abuse power or do bad things if there's no place for the people around them to, to question it or say, you know, is this good or is this bad?Then that's, that makes the, the clo we call it the closed loop system, right? Katherine: Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. And all of the accountability is like outward towards everyone else, but then that like, yeah. Leader or leadership doesn't, it doesn't, they don't play by the same rules, Sarah: like, right. Well, that, and that was something also that I saw as a consistent thing is that all of the dogma and, and, you know, there's like a lot of great truth to taking responsibility for things that happen in your life and that's, it can be a good thing, but if it's always.It's always your fault. And the other person didn't have any responsibility. Then, and that's, that's something I say all the time. Wait, especially in XM. There's no victims and you create everything in your life. Now, Keith is in jail. And he's the [00:31:00] victim. Like he's the victim of the like, Oh, the FBI plan. Oh, the FBI must have planted evidence.Oh, but, but Keith, how did you cause this? How did you get yourself into jail? Like, where is that? Where is it now? Where is it now? You know, and that, that's, that's such a huge inconsistency and inconsistencies are something that if you, you know, you bring up then you're. Not trusting the process or in the yoga communities, like you have resistance.What's with your resistance? Katherine: Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah. Like the inconsistency thing in the as a, as a red flag is, is something that's It seems to happen a lot. And these groups, there's a, there's a double standard where there's between two different people or it's between the leadership and everyone else or whatever.That double standard inconsistency is definitely something that pops up I would love to hear from you just a little bit about. Recovery has been like, [00:32:00] and what are things that have helped you? Sarah: Again, different stages. I think the biggest part of my recovery at first was just talking about it and being with other X members and being able to speak freely without the shackles of the language constraints to be able to say, Oh, Oh, remember that time when so and so did this.That was a really mean thing to do. We never could have talked that way because that would have been. You know, breaking rank and, you know, all sorts of rules, broken images, expressing that way. And I didn't realize how suppressed I was. I couldn't go up line in my, in the authoritarian, you know, thing because they didn't get in trouble.And if I went down, that's bad leadership. So I was kind of like, you know, hogtied. I could talk to my husband, which is, I think, kind of a rare situation. And most people in my situation, we just couldn't talk to anybody. And also Mark Vicente, who was the person who brought me in. If you've seen The Vow, he's the director that.That brought me in, but also got me out. So speaking about it, and then you know, Reclaiming my time educating [00:33:00] myself. I did a lot of watching of other documentaries and podcasts and movies and all sorts of things that really helped me connect the dots. And I have notes from my early days of watching movies like going clear and Scientology or holy hell about Buddhafield and just seeing.Like, holy shit. This is the, it's, it's the exact same. Like really even in our podcast, every time we interview someone, it's like the, it's the exact same template. Yeah. I mean, some of the content, yeah, some of the content points. It always the same school and learned. We did the same school, even like with holy hell, the leaders doing this, forced ballet classes and with us it was volleyball.But it's the same kind of like obsession with this one thing. Physical, yeah. Just yes. And like, you got to get this thing right, but the performance and the adulation of the leader and all that stuff. So that was really helpful. And then there's a lot of things that I've done, I guess. So therapy wise at different stages, having an actual cult therapist was really helpful for me.And I saved a lot of time there because not only did he understand the dynamics, but he actually already knew [00:34:00] Nexium, which was great. So if I said, well, Nancy did this to me once, or Keith said this to me or whatever, he knew what I was talking about. Having a psychologist that didn't have cult training was laborious, but also really helpful because I would have to explain things that, that I realized, like, as, as explaining it, I was out of deprogramming myself.You know, in one particular moment I was saying to him, Oh, well, in our, in our belief system, we. Believed that needs were like survival based, you know, air, shelter, water, whatever. And anything else was considered a desire and therefore a non integrated fixation. You need to work on like, why did you think you needed this thing to be okay?Love, connection, community, blah, blah, blah. So then he, I remember, cause he didn't know anything about cults and he was like, well, those are needs to survive. But what about needs to thrive? And I was like, Oh, they didn't want us to thrive. And I always thought that the people in Albany who live there look fricking miserable.And I was like, [00:35:00] that's why they were miserable. They weren't allowed to have a career or relationship because then they were, they were shamed into like, that that was just a deficiency based desire. In other words, there's something wrong with you that you're even searching. Like, why do you even need that from the outside world to be complete?So that was you know, an interesting process to have a you know, a cult. A therapist and then a regular therapist, but I think a lot of my therapy came from just talking and educating myself and talking to other survivors. And then there's a whole series of things that I've done and continue to do.Like I'm, I do yoga, but I do like a not culty yoga. Like there's no dogma. There's no education. There's no leader. There's no, it's just more of like a fitness thing. Because that's how I protect myself, like I don't do kundalini or, yeah, like that. I walk a lot, you know, after this podcast, I will walk and, and like, clear my mind.Some like sort of spiritual, somebody, some might say woo woo practices that I do, but there's no It's not, it's not like a [00:36:00] tied to a certain school or program. It's just like a little practice here, a little practice there. I take my green juice. I'm very health oriented. I'm all about like getting good sleep and all the things that we weren't allowed.Like I remember when I started Nexium, I was They would say I have, I would have had an attachment to comfort because I was like, I'm getting my eight hours. And they're like, well, why do you think you need eight hours? And I'm like, well, that's just what, how I function best. And I'm like, why do you think that would if it's a limiting belief?And by the end of it, I was having like four or five hours of sleep a night to prove to them how much sleep I didn't need and how I could be like such a bad ass, you know, but really I do need, like I, I do best on as much sleep as I possibly can get. So prioritizing that and prioritizing what's right for me and not going with somebody else.Going on what somebody else says is right for me has been also huge. A lot of baths. I take Epsom salt baths for my CPTSD almost every night. Putting a lot of money on hot water. I'm sure. Katherine: Hey, it's very sensory and it like, yeah, it's you and [00:37:00] your body. It helps you be present. It's Sarah: yes. Yes. And you could cut this out if you want, but I also microdose psilocybin a fair bit, which also does, does all of those things keeps me, my body has to be present.I don't get, I'm not doing it to hallucinate or get high on mushrooms, but it just helps me not be anxious. Yes. So yeah, that's, that's kind of, those are my main, lots of variety. Yeah. Lots of variety. And oh, and hiking, I like love being in nature and that's like super important to me. I try to get out at least once a week.Katherine: What would you say this is something that like is I think just like a constant question that a lot of folks have and something that I'm, I'm kind of exploring as well is like the difference between having someone help you like a therapist and like that language versus a guru who was like telling you what to do and like, what does it feel like to have that difference.Or what does that difference feel like? [00:38:00] Sarah: Yeah, I'd say that that like a healthy therapist feels like they're on a journey with me and they're just, , questioning and , it's like they're going down in the cave with me. We're both shining lights and we're looking together. Whereas the, the guru approach or, you know, like an axiom, I always felt like there was literally like a.Such a power power difference. Like I'm sitting down here and they would be sitting up there like even the seats were raised and we're kind of looking up at and tell me what to do, like, what do you think and Reclaiming that has been definitely been a huge part of my healing.Katherine: Yeah, so the guru is more like the expert Mm hmm or life telling you how to do it Sarah: And I have to be so careful with that too, because I do love to give people unsolicited advice. You know, especially in our podcast. I do like to be Katherine: like, that's not a good thing. Don't do this. Sarah: And I'm like, you really need to be taking more baths.Okay. I'm just kidding. But I'm like, well, what, how do I try to phrase it now? I was like, this is what's worked [00:39:00] for me. This is what works for me. And you can do whatever you want. I don't care. Katherine: Yeah, no, I like the phraseology. I have to do the same thing. It's like, well, you know, I have that same situation and this is what I try.Yeah. Do with that what you'll exactly. Yeah. And then that would be as opposed to someone who is like, partnering with you in this journey and, and just like being empathetic to the experience rather than telling Yes. That they know better what you need than you do. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. I love that.That's great. Any, any final things that you would like to share as we wrap up put all of your information in the show notes, but if you have any information that you want to give folks about how to interact with you, Sarah: I mean, I'd say like if they want to know the full story, my book in combination with the vow, I think is a really good balance because the vow has my story, but also massive gaps in some things that happen.But the vow [00:40:00] has a lot of other people's stories. And if you want to go down an axiom rabbit hole, there's tons of other memoirs out there. But I think that our podcast I've, I've been told is very therapeutic for people of all different groups, religions you know, even abuse situations because you're hearing the stories from different, different people's perspectives that.You're not maybe necessarily as attached to like defending or being protective of your group, whatever that is. So when you hear when other people's stories, you're like, Oh yeah, I relate to that. And it can be, well, it's free. It's free therapy. So not that it's not in lieu of therapy. I'm not saying like, don't do therapy, but it's gonna be a bonus.And I also say, like, there's some episodes that will resonate and some that won't. Just skip them. You don't have, you don't have to listen to all of them. If it's something that that, that is resonant for people, there's a, we're also on Patreon and we do a lot, we do another bonus episode every week.And that's more casual. And we answer questions from the audience. We do voicemails. And we also have a Goodreads account. I recommend a lot of books [00:41:00] and I interview a lot of authors. So all of the books that we love are on our little bit culty Goodreads account. And I think the best way if you want to just reach out to me personally is on my Instagram.I, I answer every message. A little bit culty is a little bit backlogged, but people can check us out there as well. And if they want to be a guest, a little bit culty, they can apply through our website. Oh, the one thing I would say also that's really cool, I think that I did recently is a TEDx talk.I don't know if you had a chance to see it or hear it. Yeah. It's 15 minutes of like the summary of why people need to educate themselves about cults. It's very, it's like a lot. It's like some people call it the best of a little bit culty in a very short period of time. So it's a lot of quick nuggets.Yeah. And I think, I think your community would like it. Katherine: That sounds good. I might reach out to you. I might reach out to you later about that because a couple of years ago I had talked to someone about doing a TEDx talk about spiritual abuse and they kind of discouraged me from [00:42:00] it because it's supposed to be inspirational and it didn't, they're like, Sarah: that's inspirational.Well TEDx actually has some kind of like a little bit quality rules. Like you can't talk about politics or religion. Okay. It's in, it's in their rule book. But. So talking about spiritual abuse, I don't know how you would frame it in a different way. You have to frame it in a different way. Yeah. Go ahead and talk about spiritual bypassing and just not mention religion.Ah, Katherine: yeah, that's true. True, true, true. Cool. Well, thank you so much for giving us your time. I'm excited to just see what, see what develops. Thank you for all the work Sarah: that you're doing. My absolute pleasure. It's, it's a total joy to talk about and I will continue to talk about it until everybody is out.So everyone. Yes. Free the slaves. Katherine: Free the slaves.
From seemingly harmless derogatory comments to having your emotions dismissed or met with contempt, when this pattern continues chronically we can begin to mute how we feel, become fearful about how we speak and create distance from our self. This leads to self-doubt, anxiety, depression and ultimately a physical disease related to GI conditions. Chronic invalidation is particularly harmful, and knowing the antidote becomes critical. Listen/watch as Dr. Skyler unpacks this destructive process. Learn more at drskyler.net and receive "5 Things Every Child Wishes Their Parents Knew."
Language matters when discussing autism, and it is important to use inclusive and empowering language that recognizes the abilities and strengths of autistic individuals. In this episode, Simon and Jordan are joined by Dr. Luke Beardon, Author and Senior Lecturer in Autism at The Autism Centre, Sheffield Hallam University. Dr Luke talks about the majority of students in his courses studying autism being autistic, the negative narratives and misinformation surrounding autism, the us vs them narrative, gaslighting and professional misinformation, the identity crisis faced by late-diagnosed individuals, and the criticism of high-functioning individuals on the autism spectrum.Takeaways:Autism research should start from understanding the positive aspects, rather than focusing solely on the negative stereotypes and challenges.Autistic individuals experience the world differently, particularly in terms of sensory sensitivities, and it is crucial to understand and accommodate these differences.The environment plays a significant role in the experiences and outcomes of autistic individuals, and efforts should be made to create inclusive and supportive environments.Understanding and respecting the diverse experiences and perspectives of autistic individuals is essential for accurate representation and effective advocacy. Mental health is an important aspect of overall well-being and should be understood and prioritized.Language matters when discussing autism, and it is important to use inclusive and empowering language that recognizes the abilities and strengths of autistic individuals.A harmonious coexistence between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals is essential for a more inclusive society.00:00 Introduction04:27 Popularity of the Course07:19 Negative Narrative and Pejorative Language09:38 Harmonious Coexistence of Neurodivergent and Neurotypical13:25 Validation and Defense of the Autistic Community15:22 Microaggressions and Gaslighting20:08 Invalidation and Identity Crisis22:04 Importance of Advocacy and Listening23:50 Misconceptions about Eye Contact25:13 Language Matters and Individuality31:49 Critics and Individual Experiences36:01 Blaming Autism for Everything37:01 Invalidating Difficulties38:28 Autism + Environment = Outcome42:47 Trust and Communication51:20 The Power of Language56:06 Exploring Energy and EnvironmentDr Luke Beardon,Senior Lecturer in Autism, The Autism Centre, Sheffield Hallam University:PgCert Autism Part-time 2024 - Sheffield Hallam University: https://www.shu.ac.uk/courses/teaching-and-education/pgcert-autism/part-timeWebsite: https://www.shu.ac.uk/about-us/our-people/staff-profiles/luke-beardonBooks: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Dr-Luke-Beardon/author/B072HC7SHSWhether you're Neurodivergent yourself, a friend, family member, or simply curious about this extraordinary way of experiencing the world, this podcast is your guide to unravelling The Neurodivergent Experience.Instagram: @theneurodivergentexperiencepodFacebook: theneurodivergentexperience Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
From Borderline to Beautiful: Hope & Help for BPD with Rose Skeeters, MA, LPC, PN2
What is going on in the Skeeter's household? This week, I get up close and personal with an update on us! In addition, I tell the truth about emotional invalidation abuse and why not feeling heard is REALLY a problem. 2024 is YOUR YEAR. Start with scheduling a session with Rose here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/ To schedule with Jay, click here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/contact-2/ Do you want to be part of the next group? Great! Click here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/support-groups-2/ Do you want to join the B2B Community? Click here: https://fromb2b.mn.co/ Please remember that this podcast or the B2B Community is not a replacement for therapy or clinical services. We are mindset coaches and want to offer this content for the betterment of the BPD community. We offer mindset coaching only for individuals nationally and internationally. Jump start your recovery today! Contact us today at 1-844-9-THRIVE. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/rose-skeeters/support
Kate and Michelle talk about reasons when invalidation can be helpful and painful. They also talk about 12 ways DBT can help with recovering from invalidation after it happens, sharing their personal experiences along the way. Support the showIf you're a mental health professional/student and want to join us to learn more about our insider tips for launching and leading DBT groups, sign up for our next coffee hour group on March 4, 2024 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/824503009697If you want to sign up for Kate's free DBT peer support group, you can sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dbt-discussion-group-tickets-518237601617Check out our Etsy shop for DBT-inspired items and our journaling workbook (only $7.50!): https://www.etsy.com/shop/dbtandmeOur book, "DBT for Everyone" is available! Order your copy on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dbt-Everyone-Pitfalls-Possibilities-Better/dp/1839975881/Consider providing ongoing support to the podcast by becoming a patron at https://www.patreon.com/dbtandmeYou can join our facebook community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbtandmepodcastCheck out our other podcast, The Couch and The Chair, on Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-couch-and-the-chair/id1554159244) or on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/3MZ8aZPoRKxGmLtFcR4S4O)If you need support/have questions, email us at dbtandmepodcast@gmail.com
In today's episode, we delve into a significant controversy that's rocked the medical education community: the USMLE cheating scandal. Recent revelations have exposed a cheating scheme involving the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE), raising serious questions about the integrity of the testing process and its implications for US medical graduates and the broader medical field. Please SUBSCRIBE for new videos every Monday afternoon and Thursday Evening https://www.drberrypierre.com/YTsubscription Let's Connect: Instagram TikTok Lunch and Learn Patreon Family Key Discussion Points: Overview of the USMLE Cheating Scandal: We'll provide a summary of the recent news surrounding the cheating scandal, highlighting the key facts and developments. Understanding the USMLE: A brief explanation of what the USMLE is and its importance in the medical education and licensing process. Impacts of Cheating: We'll discuss the potential effects of the cheating scandal on the credibility of the USMLE, the medical profession, and the trust placed in future medical practitioners. Consequences for US Medical Graduates: Exploring how this scandal could affect the prospects and reputation of US medical graduates, both domestically and internationally. This episode is a critical examination of a controversy that could have far-reaching consequences for medical education and the healthcare industry. Links: MedPage Today: USMLE Cheating Scandal USMLE Program Statement on Invalidation of Exam Scores YouTube: Detailed Analysis of USMLE Cheating Scandal ECFMG Statement on Invalidation of USMLE Examination Scores
Nevertheless, She Persisted: Surviving Teen Depression and Anxiety
#175 In this week's solo episode, I discuss why we invalidate our emotions and the power of self-validating! I share what self-validation is and how it's used in DBT, the two most common ways that people self-invalidate, why we self-invalidate and the consequences of doing so, the cycle of self-invalidation, three skills you can use to start validating your emotions, how to make self-validation a habit, goals to set and exercises to practice so you can start self-validating, and your most-asked questions on self-invalidation. If you want to stop judging yourself for your emotions and start accepting your feelings, then this episode is a MUST-LISTEN!MENTIONED+ DBT Self-Validation Manual+ DBT Self-Validation Lesson + Emotion Vulnerability and Self-Invalidation+ How to Measure Emotional Self-Validation+ Self-Validation: How to be Less Critical and Validate Yourself Instead+ She Persisted Ep. 28 feat. Dr. Blaise Aguirre+ The Cycle of Invalidation Chart+ The Power of Self-Validation+ The Self-Invalidation Due to Emotion ScaleSHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOCLET'S CONNECT+ Instagram (@shepersistedpodcast)+ Website (shepersistedpodcast.com)+ YouTube (Sadie Sutton: She Persisted Podcast)+ Twitter (@persistpodcast)+ Facebook (@shepersistedpodcast)+ TikTok (@shepersistedpodcast)+ inquiries@shepersistedpodcast.com© 2020 She Persisted LLC. This podcast is copyrighted subject matter owned by She Persisted LLC and She Persisted LLC reserves all rights in and to the podcast. Any use without She Persisted LLC's express prior written
Marketing School - Digital Marketing and Online Marketing Tips
In episode #2650, we share our thoughts on the impact of interest rates on the economy and marketing, the growth of the "All In" podcast, and its potential as a media company. Additionally, we discuss the advantages of having operating experience as a writer. We emphasize the importance of experience in creating valuable content and provide insights into current trends in the tech and business industries. Don't forget to help us grow by subscribing and liking on YouTube! Check out more of Eric's content (Leveling UP YT) and Neil's videos (Neil Patel YT) TIME-STAMPED SHOW NOTES: (00:00) Today's topic: Cutting Interest Rates in 2024, How the 'All-In' Podcast Dominated Silicon Valley, The Risks of Becoming a Full-time Creator (Reactions Dec 2023 Week 3) (00:26) Uncertainty on whether interest rates will be cut three times (03:00) Debate on whether the economy is already in a recession (03:57) Discussion on the success of the "All In" podcast (05:46) Appreciation for the authenticity and entertainment value of the podcast (07:29) Importance of creating content as a creator or operator (08:27) Benefits of being an operator when evaluating and writing (09:31) Agreement that experience enhances the quality of content (10:40) Invalidation events in tech and business due to changing interest rates (11:30) Importance of being an operator to understand industry changes (11:55) Why you should start creating content (12:05) That's it for today! Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe! Go to https://www.marketingschool.io to learn more! Leave Some Feedback: What should we talk about next? Please let us know in the comments below Did you enjoy this episode? If so, please leave a short review. Connect with Us: Single Grain
One of the biggest puzzles is why some people carry so much anger, pain, depression, or anxiety even though they haven't experienced a "real trauma." This might be a sign of chronic invalidation, when someone received consistent messages that their emotions aren't valid when they're growing up. Chronic invalidation can infect early caregiving environments and can have devastating impacts on mental health in adulthood. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, associate professor of Pitzer College, Director of the Global Mental Health Lab and founder of the Youth and Family Institute (not to mention, our "lab brother" from Duke). Dr. Rodriguez describes what chronic invalidation looks like and how it can be treated with evidence-based therapies. To learn more about Dr. Rodriguez's clinical services for family and adolescents, check out his Youth & Family InstituteTo learn more about clinical trainings with Dr. Rodriguez, check out his training servicesSupport the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.comFollow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends
Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Invalidation induces invisibility as well as a sense of rejection. Validating other's emotions entails finding a kernel of truth in someone's emotions, perspectives, and experiences. Emotional validation is a core aspect of maintaining healthy relationships with others as well with self. Tune into the podcast for more information www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Christie Hayes, toxic mother wound coach and therapist about sibling sexual abuse, invalidation and toxic mother wounds.You can find Christie at: https://www.instagram.com/toxic_mother_recovery and via her facebook group Adult daughters breaking free from toxic relationships with their mother. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Rejection sensitivity is literally painful in that "the brain responds to social pain in a way that is similar to the way that it responds to physical pain." Rejection sensitivity has been defined as "severe emotional sensitivity and emotional pain" induced by perceptions of rejection from others. The avoidance to experiencing rejection may severely impact individual's lives. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Perfectionism gives the illusion of control and remains the culprit of much stress and anxiety. Perfectionism is a vicious cycle that is supported by unrealistic expectations, an unhealthy view of rejection, and riddled with rigidity. Eventually, it chips away at individual's self esteem, view of self, and the consumption leads to missed moments of contentment in present day living. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
In my therapeutic work, what often lies beneath much of the emotional distress is the trio of perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation. The treat of the trio is that they seem to yield short term benefits, but the trick is the long term cost. The intersection of this troubling trio can softly kill the quality and quantity of life for many. Perfectionism may be considered as an illusion but it remains a reality for many, rejection literally causes pain, and invalidation cultivates the sense of invisibility and worthlessness. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
Have you ever felt invalidated? Do you struggle with not being sure how to validate others? Check out this episode!
Does any of this self-talk sound familiar? "I shouldn't be mad at this." "This isn't a big deal." "I was just lucky." What about ignoring your sense of hunger, thirst, or even the need to empty your bladder so you can get more done. These are all incredibly common forms of self-invalidation, which is another way to say self-rejection. On this week's podcast, we talk about all the sneaky ways self-invalidation shows up, why we've developed these habits, and how to start practicing self-validation instead. Links: Connect with me on: IG and FB. Watch my free class and learn how to get more done in a day without stress and burnout. Get your free copy of the Podcast Study Guide. Subscribe for weekly tips and strategies to empower your brain. Learn more about The Journey, the only comprehensive coaching program for high-achieving women, that will teach you, in just 12 weeks, how to get more done, feel better, and overcome imposter syndrome.
Natosha Ash is a dedicated and passionate health and wellness advocate with a unique background in genetics and genomics, naturopathic medicine, and nutrigenomics. Her deep knowledge of these subjects has given her a holistic perspective on health and wellness that she shares freely with her community. As someone who understands the importance of using science and nature to promote optimal health, Natosha has made it her life's work to share her knowledge with others. Her mastery in Genetics and Genomics allows her to look at health and wellness from a unique angle, and she leverages this knowledge to promote positive lifestyle changes in others. In addition to her work in the health and wellness field, Natosha is also committed to giving back to her community. She believes that access to information and education is critical to promoting positive lifestyle changes, and she is dedicated to sharing her knowledge to help others achieve optimal health. In this episode she shares her own experiences in the hurt of discrimination and invalidation of pain as a provider and patient. Episode Highlights + Natosha's Recommendations on Living Wisely Well Website Episode Highlights: Natosha's start to her education Feeling like you don't belong Racial discrimination in medical school 14:00-14:30 17:30-18:00 Choosing to walk away + finding freedom 22:00 "do you need to be HERE to do what you need to do" 22:30 Discrimination at the bedside stories Plagiarism + "content colonization" in social media Invalidation of pain as medical student + as a patient Unwell Women by Elinor Cleghorn Medical Apartheid by Harriet Washington Vitamin D testing + Melanoma in Black individuals Brown Skin Matters IG Killing the Black Body by Dorothy Roberts 54:30-55 Connect with Natosha on Instagram Natosha's Naturology Skincare Connecting Women of Color to Culturally Sensitive Providers: Health in Her Hue Website
You have an Individual Culture Island: it affects how you show up and perceive yourself, others & the world at large. So is your Island more about Healing…or Harming? Listen in as Nina shares how to choose healing over harming on your island & in your relationships ❤️ Get ready to
Are you tired of feeling like your emotions are constantly dismissed or undermined? In the latest episode, we dive deep into the topic of emotional invalidation and its impact on our wellbeing and relationships. Join me as I share my own experiences and those of one of my clients, as we uncover ten ways to bounce back from emotionally invalidating situations with a positive sense of self. Creating a safe space where emotions are honoured and respected is crucial, and processing these emotions can aid in recovery from comfort eating. PLUS, I'm thrilled to announce the launch of my app and online course designed to help you explore the emotions driving your eating habits! Come join our community for access to my beginner's course and community at a low cost.https://underground-confidence.passion.ioHere's another episode you'll love! 16. "Nobody Cares About Me" - What You Need To Know About What 'Self-Worth' Is. Part 1Support the showDo you have a question or comment? shelley_treacher@hotmail.com Want to go further?Join my Comfort Eating Recovery Community or find my latest media & programme support here.https://underground-confidence.passion.io Did you get help from this podcast?If this podcast helped you please share it with a friend who may also benefit. Or leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This helps more than you can imagine!
Following off the heels of an episode about intent versus impact, it's time to talk about safe spaces. Are you one for the people in your life? You might be surprised by the answer. In today's episode, Dre talks about the invalidation of emotions and experiences, and how that can be discordant when you are trying to be a safe space for others. Sometimes we, even accidentally, invalidate what someone feels or is going through by minimizing its impact or scope. If we want others to come to us, and trust us enough to share, we have to do better about being safe spaces for them. Ask those closest to you how you can best show up as a safe space for them in their lives, and watch what happens. Recorded: May 21, 2023 Instagram: www.instagram.com/heyitzdr3 Twitter: twitter.com/heyitzdr3 Website: https://drehillart.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dailydosewithdre/support
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com 97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast Be careful of the friendly friend who wants what's best for you and hates sharing with your his advice but it's only for your own good… because they want what is best for you. Types of invalidation Assuming your feelings without asking: When someone decides they know how you feel, without actually asking you what you're thinking or feeling, they may be unknowingly invalidating your experience. Misunderstanding what it means to validate: Validation is frequently confused for agreement. But this isn't the case–you're perfectly able to disagree with what someone is saying or feeling while simultaneously validating their experience as real. To validate what someone is saying is not to agree with them, but to let them know you understand what they're saying, why they're saying it, and what emotions or behaviors may have caused them to say or feel it. Trying to Fix Your Feelings: ...instead of just listening to what they are. This typically comes from a good place or intention, but can damage the person whose feelings are on the receiving end of the “fixing.” This is saying things like “Don't cry,” or “Don't be sad.” When someone is saying those things, they mean that they care about you and don't want to see you in pain. But it is invalidating all the same because you are sad or maybe you feel you need to cry, and there is nothing inherently wrong in either of those things. Vacuuming Up Uncomfortable Feelings: Similar to trying to fix your feelings, this is when someone tries to eliminate any negative or uncomfortable feelings you may be having. “Come on, it will be fine,” or “It's not such a big deal,” are examples of this. While the feelings you're having may be uncomfortable, it is important to let yourself feel them. Trying to suck up any feelings that make us uncomfortable doesn't actually help us work through them, it just teaches us that some feelings are wrong. Invalidation can be helpful & painful at the same time. Situations in which it is helpful include when: → your facts are wrong. Being corrected with true facts can help you reassess what you are feeling and come at it from a more accurate place. → you haven't considered another view. If the person you are speaking with presents a point of view or idea you hadn't considered before, it can be an opportunity for personal & intellectual growth. Judgments are not facts. Just because someone says something to contradict how you are feeling, doesn't make it true. Invalidation can be painful for a number of different reasons, and it doesn't always feel the same. Feelings of invalidation can include: → feeling as though you're being ignored → feeling as though you're being repeatedly misunderstood → feeling as though you are being misinterpreted → feeling as though important facts are being ignored or denied → feeling as though you are being given unequal or unfair treatment → feeling as though you are not being believed when telling the truth → feeling as though your experiences are being minimized or denied The life of Job, he is surrounded by well meaning invalidators… But what does he do? Handling invalidation has two core components: being non-defensive & checking the facts. When you are non-defensive you are able to see that there are other points of view in a situation. And the existence of opposing points of view doesn't necessarily make one person right and another wrong. Instead it gives us more information about how the people in question process emotion, than it does facts about the situation. Checking the facts is the other key step to handling invalidation. Do you have all of the correct facts? Are you assuming things based on minimal knowledge? Make sure you know the correct facts. This may change your response, but will help you to validate your feelings once you know all the facts. In Jobs life we see at the end of the book after having his friends invalidate him, and tell him he must be a sinner to go through such pain from God… Job also makes some inaccurate claims… but ultimately we see God make the final word. you do not have a universal insight as to everything that is going on and you are not equipped to make that call over me. It's the same thing we see when we really look at the invalidators in our lives. you do not have a universal insight as to everything that is going on and you are not equipped to make that call over me. Who does? God does. So seek him, ask him, listen and trust. he's worth it.
Kate McReynolds, licensed therapist, joins me to discuss her own experience with birth trauma, particularly related to feelings of invalidation and self-blame. Kate explains her journey of working through the feelings that her birth trauma wasn't "bad" or "scary" enough to count as trauma. She also discusses the challenge of navigating invalidation from external sources, but also from herself. In this episode, you will hear:- Kate's story of birth trauma- Feeling ignored in birth- Lack of consent and commentary related to sexual assault- Invalidation after birth trauma- Planning for a subsequent birth (vbac) - Kate's story of a healing subsequent birth You can find Kate on Instagram @the.mom.therapist or at her website.Guest Bio: Kate is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a mom of two. She is Perinatal Mental Health-Certified, specializing in therapy for prenatal and postpartum support, birth trauma, pregnancy loss, PMADs (Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders), and general maternal wellness.
I have a good friend who was tested for POTS. POTS can cause changes in heartrate, blood pressure, and vertigo, all due to autonomic nervous system dysregulation. Her doctor booked her in for testing (which I didn't know they had available). Within a day of the testing, she learned she didn't test positive for POTS. This is someone with other complex chronic pain and illnesses. The lack of that diagnosis still hit her hard. I could relate to that fragility and the invalidation that comes when I believe something is true and learn it isn't and the fear that arises around "What is true? Is this psychosomatic? What about these symptoms? Will anyone believe me?" Invalidated: the root of the word "invalid" is the word used in French for disabled. When we aren't given support, recognition, support, other's recognition, support, when we aren't feeling seen, it is disabling. Later, my friend saw her primary care physician. He said, "you are not your diagnosis." The lack of a diagnosis does not take away your symptoms. Just because our diagnostic tools have not yet caught up with your symptoms, you don't need to feel invalidated. If you are still searching, for your diagnosis -- I'm sorry. However, it doesn't change the fundamental truth that you know is happening. No one test can/should define you. We have one another. Let's support each other, help us feel seen and acknowledge the truth of our circumstances. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness. Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.
Sue Bohlin hosts husband and wife Paul and Kelly Rutherford to discuss four unhealthy ways to communicate and what to do about them.
In this episode, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Brett Cushing shares how invalidation, whether it be intended to harm or to help, can be effectively utilized to maintain and enhance relationships. Brett shares why invalidation hurts, how to extend invalidation without harm, and how to respond to invalidation in helpful ways. Listen to find out how to effectively utilize invalidation as a relational skill and transform relationships into safer, happier, and more secure ones. Invalidation can often be intrusive and unwelcome, and this episode highlights how our response to invalidating people can work to our advantage and help our relationships. Do you have feedback or topic requests? Email us at podcast@nystromcounseling.comWe'd love to hear from you! Follow alongInstagramFacebookNystrom & Associates
On this podcast, we discuss
The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast With Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship. Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you'll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com
Have you ever confided in someone you wanted comfort from only to be told… “It could be worse.” “At least it wasn't X, Y, or Z!” “Look on the bright side…” “I don't know why you are making such a big deal…” These are all examples of emotional invalidation. Maybe you've even said these things to others, unintentionally invalidating them. This is common if we're high-functioning codependents and other people's distress causes us distress. But even if your heart is in the right place, emotional invalidation can damage your relationships. That's why in today's episode, I'm breaking down what emotional invalidation is, discussing why so many of us are emotional invalidators and offering ways to emotionally validate our loved ones so that we can strengthen our relationships. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/460 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon discusses validation, the different types of verbal/non-verbal invalidation used by narcissistic abusers, and the different types of invalidating families. Plus, we discuss the silent treatment, gaslighting, stonewalling, feeling small, dehumanization, love bombing, trust building, and the idealization stage of narcissistic abuse. If you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please click here or send us an email at narcissistapocalypse@gmail.com Thank you to our sponsor BETTERHELP. If you need online counseling from anywhere in the world, please do go to https://www.betterhelp.com/nap Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. If you or someone you know are experiencing abuse, you are not alone. DomesticShelters.org offers an extensive library of articles and resources that can help you make sense of what you're experiencing, connect you with local resources and find ways to heal and move forward. Visit www.domesticshelters.org to access this free resource. Join our new Community Social Network at https://community.narcissistapocalypse.com/ Join our Instagram Channel at https://www.instagram.com/narcissistapocalypse Join our Youtube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpTIgjTqVJa4caNWMIAJllA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today I am answering a question texted into the podcast phone number about a type four who is feeling disconnected from their family of origin. -- THANK YOU TO THIS WEEK'S PODCAST SPONSOR Get started with Issuu today for FREE or if you sign up for a premium account you will get 50% off when you go to ISSUU.com/podcast and use promo code COFFEE. — Call/text your enneagram questions to (828) 338-9127 Grab a copy of my book at www.thehonestenneagram.com Check out my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/sarajanecase Grab a copy of know your parenting personality https://amzn.to/37Zbh0l Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices