Finding Purpose - Song of my Life - Kristine van Dooren

The common phrase “life goes on” comes to mind, remembering that dark Sunday, we experienced as told in the last episode. The danger had passed in a day, but it could have still haunted us, with fears of what could have happened.The next morning our girls were glad to see that Daddy was home. He tried to spare them of the scary details that happened the night before. The main thing was, that he was able to get the little boy, back to his parents. It was a normal Monday morning and time for them, to get off to school.We didn't even consider that their teachers, would be seeingThomas' picture in all of the newspapers. Most of them, didn't know anything about our church group, or that Thomas was a pastor. It must have been on the TV news, but we didn't have a television, so we didn't know what other people were going to see.  Thomas' mother Nadja, called in the morning, before seeingthe newspapers. She wanted to know if he was Ok and hear exactly what happened. She was thankful that everyone was safe but she did have the question; “Why would God allow such an evil thing to take place, especially during church.”

So you are probably wondering if we were happy and enjoying life, why such an episode title like “A Dark Sunday", could come about. This is a story of a dangerous and unexpected situation, that was about to take place in our midst. Only God knew, what was going to happen at our Sunday service, one fateful day.Shortly before that day, Thomas preached the following message on the 17th of April 1983. His sermon was on the “Grace of God,” (Die Gnade Gottes), which I found in his old files. It's hand written, with a list of 12 scriptures, and the points he wanted to make concerning the topic. I would like to take some time to consider his teaching, because it was laying a deeper understanding about God's will in ourlives.I think especially for Thomas, he was being prepared for a scary event, where his responsibility as a pastor would be challenged. This was going to affect not only our family, but the whole congregation, and people related to us.

This is not to be taken for granted, that they have learned to sing Christian songs, learned to pray for all kinds of needs and they like to read Bible stories. It is a blessing and reward for being a parent; to see my daughters and their husbands training their children in the ways of the Lord. It reminds me of the teachings that Thomas and I, as adults, received way back at Living Waters, 52 years ago. A verse that we found really practical at the time, is in Deuteronomy Chapter 6. It speaks of loving God, and then in verses 6-7 it says, “And these words that I command you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when your rise.” It is amazing that it doesn't matter what country we live in, what language we speak, and what generation we are born into, the Truth is always the same. Knowing God in His word, transcends all boundaries, traditions and cultures.

My last episode ended with the popular song, “I love you Lord”, that we sang  in the 80s. It was representative of the message, that came out of the "Jesus People" movement; “Jesus loves you and calls you to follow him.” Our daughters were growing up, with the modern choruses of praise music, that began in the early 70s. Gone were the days of singing the hymns that I grew up with in the Methodist church. And the organ was being replaced by guitars, violins, flutes, tamborines and microphones for the singers. There were new churches and ministries springing up all over the world. For Thomas and I, our exposure to this kind of music, started at "Living Waters"; singing the scriptures to melodies, that were written by people that we knew. This development of new praise was organic, and stemmed from, an inspirational type of Bible teaching. I look at it now, as a historical period, in modern culture that partly resulted from the counterculture movement called the “Summer of Love”. For many young people like myself, we were hearing a fresh kind, of Christian message. It was simple, it was real, it was miraculous, because lives were being transformed. Many people, had no idea that the influence of the “Jesus Revolution”, was also taking place all over the world.

I have been thinking about the miracle of new life that Thomas and I, both experienced. There were also many other young people in our day who were healed and renewed. On the other hand, some of our friends, were not so fortunate. Even today, I know people whose family members, weren'table to get out of the cycle, of drug addiction. I was pretty surprised though, to hear Thomas saying in the last episode, that he never flipped out or ended up in a clinic. I think he had forgotten about the time in Berlin, when he went crazy and came to my work place. That was the end, of the good job I had, as a young American girl in Germany. I have told that story in a past episode! Our survival and ultimate salvation, was the fruit of much love, perseverance, faithfulness, and long suffering that we received from both of our parents. We dragged them into so many stressful situations, and hardly gave them credit, for all of their help. At least this led, to my mom's prayer group intervening, and begging God to keep us safe. But another big aspect of getting us on the straight and narrow path were the men at Living Waters. They had set up a huge cross by the road with the engraved letters that said, “whosoever will may come.” That was not only a scripture from the Bible in Revelations, but it set the tone for their whole purpose of the ranch. The men who were the responsible leaders had also experienced new life in Christ. Here's the link to my new documentary film:https://youtu.be/7xRQhWdEpOc?si=LvM_pyqZg1LUVbtu 

Today, March 16th, I started writing this episode and realized that it's Thomas' birthday. He would have been 73 years old. My family would have had a party for him and made his favorite German cheese cake. Instead, I am listening to him tell about his life, and what was important to him. All of these stories, helped form the direction of my life, and also that of our daughters. In an old episode, I had included a recording that Thomas made to my dad. We had just moved to Germany, and were living with a group of people, in the old farmhouse in Nienburg. My parents were worried about our situation, especially because we were expecting our second child. Thomas assured them that the men were working on renovations, and at the same time trusting God for the difficult circumstances. He said we are willing, to accept the situation, because we believed the Lord had sent us there. In his words:“When we broke down and realized that we were sinners, we asked Jesus to forgive us. We turned our lives totally over to him. Ever since that day, we knew that this was the way for our lives. Jesus opened up our hearts, gave us new life, and revealed himself to us. We had only one desire, to share the gospel.”New Documentary Film on my YouTube channel. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/7xRQhWdEpOc?si=LvM_pyqZg1LUVbtu 

I have so many impressions about my new documentary to think about. I uploaded it on YouTube, a few days ago. I finally had the time to prepare the description and title for the film. It ties in perfectly with this particular episode, where Thomas described, the dangerous situation he found himself in. Besides today's podcast, you can listen to more details in my older episodes.  Scroll back to Episode #17 titled “Undertow at the Beach” and  #18 “Home Birth-Faith Tested.” Because I have both German, and English listeners, I have tried my best to translate each paragraph. After living in Germany for more than 50 years, I still had to look up some of the words. The day of this tape recording in Berlin, I was standing next to Thomas, and we were taking turns talking. So on with the story where I left off last week. Thomas' words were; “Adieu to societies norm, we are heading for the hills.”Here's the link to my new film, titled "Finding Purpose," Beautiful Masterpiece about True Love" https://youtu.be/7xRQhWdEpOc?si=LvM_pyqZg1LUVbtu 

In my “hippie conversion” episode I ended with the fact, that Thomas and I, couldn't believe we had become Christians literally overnight. We prayed together, that Jesus would forgive our sinful hearts, and our sinful ways. In those days we would have said “it blows our minds.” It was a unique experience, that both of us, heard the gospel message at the same time. Then laying in our sleeping bags, on the wooden floor of the dining room, we decided to pray. The men told us that Jesus is alive, and that he is the truth, and the only way to God. It was the first time we had met these guys, but we believed them. Before we went to sleep, Thomas said to me, ”We have been searching, and have tried everything else, so I guess we should try Jesus.” The man who did the most talking that night, was named Tomas. He told us about his search to know God. He had grown up in a Jewish family, but hadn't found the truth. I could relate to his story, because I had grown up in a Christian family, and was also searching. He said that when he found Jesus, he knew that his search was over. Of course I knew who Jesus was, but he said that if we give our lives to Jesus, we will never be the same. Our conversation was an intimate discussion, that took place late at night by candlelight, in the communal dining room. I was heavily pregnant, and uncomfortable, sitting on the hard redwood bench at the table. But hearing that Jesus is the light of the world, was so exciting that I didn't care about any discomfort. I had no idea though, that our baby would be born the next night, plus no worries, that we didn't have a place to live yet. The spiritual condition of our souls, and the physical circumstances of our lives, was about to change in a radical way!

In the last episode, I ended with this statement, “I read the Bible for the first time when I was in jail.” Maybe you have heard the details about that crazy story. But when I told the Christian ladies at the meeting in Berlin, they were shocked. Of all places to read the Bible, this was not what they were expecting to hear. I told them that I had grown up going to church every week with my family. My parents, had even given me a Bible with my name, on it for my birthday. I believed that it was God's word, but I had never read it in away, that touched my soul. One part of that story I hadn't told the ladies, was that Thomas and I, were reading a different Bible at that time. It was popular in the hippie movement, and was called the “Aquarian Gospel”, meaning a new age religion. It told of a spiritual man, who was not God's son, but had super powers. One time when I read it, I got a migraine headache, so I never read it again. I put it aside. On the nightstand, by the bed in the women's correctional facility, was a Gideon Bible. When I read about Jesus, the words seemed to light up on the page. This cannot be explained except to say that God, in His great mercy, was beginning to open my eyes to the truth.

Usually Thomas as a pastor, was the one who had speaking engagements at various seminars and events. But this time, because I worked with the women's Aglow group in Munich, we were both invited to speak at one of their meetings in West Berlin. The main purpose was to tell our story of how we found faith in Jesus. An important part of the meeting, was singing modern choruses, which we called “praise and worship”. Of all the places we had been that year, this was the most important. It was an opportunity, to get back to our roots, and share the gospel with people in Thomas' home town. Thomas' mother Nadja, was also a part of the Aglow teamin Berlin. She had given her testimony at one of their meetings and told how her son had led her to the truth. So the ladies were interested in hearing his side of the story. This was out of the norm, inviting a man, but they liked theidea of hearing from both of us, and how all of us ended up in California. Today I will take you back to the beginning of our story, as we told it when we were 31 and 32 years old.

As if Thomas didn't have enough projects going on thatyear, he and his co- elder Steve, had been scouring the newspapers for a new meeting place for our church. When I consider our lives at that time, it's like Thomas had two families, that he was responsible for. Fortunately we had agreat team of dedicated men and women, who worked together on the church developments. Most of us had the example, of growing in ministry by encouraging the various gifts. The underlying goal, was to reach the people of our city,with the gospel.  For the Munich church, one avenue in equipping and teaching, was the “Ernte” (The Harvest) newsletter. There was a regular section titled “Gebetskammer” (the prayer room). In a designed scripture box, at the top of the page was the verse from Matthew Chapter 6, “But when you pray gointo your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”In one particular issue there was a list of prayer needs for our friends in different countries. “The England team is still having struggles and delays concerning work permits and visas. Please pray for the team that went to Guatemala City after the earthquake. They have built housing for many people and in the process started a church. But they have to endure constant dangers within the city. So far they have been protected, though the political situation is chaotic, and there have been many terrorist attacks in the country.“For the Munich church, Thomas wrote: “We absolutely need a new location where we can hold our church services on Sunday morning. Besides the fact that meeting on Friday evenings is not typical, it is important, that all of the families with children are able to join us.” 

Not long after our flight home from California, we got some faith shaking news. At the end of July, the well known singer, Keith Green, had died in an airplane crash. I don't remember how we heard about the accident; maybe a call from our friends in Eureka, or in the newsletter from his ministry. The report said that Keith and friends, had taken off in a twin engine plane on the private airstrip, of their ministry housing in Texas. Keith wanted to take  visitors on an aerial tour of the property. There were a total of 11 people, that included Keith, his two and three year old, plus a family with six children on that plane. Keith's wife, Melody who was pregnant, stayed home, with their one year old daughter. The plane crashed after take-off, and it was determined later, that it was overloaded beyond the operating limitations. Keith was an example as a pioneer in Christian song writing for Thomas. We had a couple of his tapes, and received his regular newsletter, called Last Days Ministries. We had a lot in common with him, coming from the Jesus People movement. I think we bought his newest tape, called “Songs for the Shepherd,” in California, at the Christian bookstore.

In my last episode I referred to our trip to California. Fortunately the invitation for the international conference in Santa Cruz was during the girl's school vacation. I think for the Americans, it was scheduled for the long weekend of Memorial Day on May 31st. In Munich, the schools were closed for a two week vacation, that celebrated the Christian holiday of Pentecost. It's called Pfingstferien in Germany. It is the next big holiday after Easter. It seems odd according to American tradition but in Germany it was normal. I say “was” because over the years, school vacations have been changing.Thomas and I, couldn't have known that after moving to Germany, we would be going back and forth to California, taking our children with us. It was my home, and Thomas' spiritual home. Both worlds, Germany and California, were an enrichment for our lives. This was definitely something that God had set out for all of us.

I hope you are doing good and ready for part two of last week's story. Our family had just returned from California to our home in Munich. Thomas had been inspired by the teachings we heard at the Elders Conference with our friends, who were also church leaders. As soon as we got back he was busy searching the scriptures and preparing for his up- coming sermons. This was a special one that he had given at our Friday evening church service. Besides the 80 to 90 adults in the congregation, we were always happy to have a few visitors, that were interested in hearing about the gospel. As usual, I will include tape recordings of Thomas in German, and then my translations. This theme, was about how God can build a strong foundation, through being a doer of the Word. The goal in reading the Bible, was to find God's wisdom to man's age old questions. For example, what should I do when difficult things come into my life. link to the song - "Let the glory of the Lord endure" https://youtu.be/N28qwVvVgfE?feature=shared

I was going to talk about the time, when we went as a family to California, at the end of May in 1982. The occasion was an Elders Conference in Santa Cruz. We stayed with my parents and also drove up north to visit our church friends in Eureka. Looking at my photos I am reminded of those good old days, when my home state was beautiful and safe. For example today, the city of Oakland where I was born, and Thomas and I lived in, is listed as one of the most dangerous cities in the world.  Now at the beginning of this new year the world is watching in horror the devastation taking place in southern California. Whole communities, homes, property, lives, wildlife and much of the beauty of the city has been destroyed. Thousands of people will have to figure out how to rebuild their lives in the midst of chaos. This is a reminder for all of us, that nothing in the world lasts.  I don't usually talk about current world events, but it is no coincidence, that I just listened to an old sermon from Thomas. It was recorded in the summer of 1982, after we returned from California. He addresses the topic of finding security, confidence and identity when trials come upon us. What do we do if we lose everything; our home, our health, our job, and the stable life, we are accustomed to? Where can we find peace and hope for a new future?

We are coming up to the end of another year. Where does the time go? I am also wondering, if I can even remember what I have been up to, all these months of podcasting work. So I thought I would breeze through this year's story episodes and the video conversations. I especially appreciate everyone, friends and family, who have taken the time to meet with me on zoom, willing to answer some personal questions. Those talks have been really fun and inspiring! In looking back at the episode list I see that I finished 2023 with a video talk. It is with my oldest daughter Naomi, called “TRUE LOVE”. It was a bit emotional, as she asked questions about my life with Thomas, and our early days when we were living in West Berlin. Her biggest question was about, having to say goodbye so soon, to my best friend and husband of 30 years. You can watch it on Spotify and on my YouTube channel. Today, I am going to breeze through this year's podcast adventures. Maybe it will give you some ideas for listening material during the coming holiday season. All you have to do is scroll through the podcast list and take your pick, where ever you feel like starting. Here are some descriptions of stories, plus a variety of videos to choose from. To me, it's like flipping through a book, and checking out the chapter titles. You can get a general idea about each episode, but there are lots of surprises, that include old tapes recordings of our voices and music, letters, old Bible studies from Thomas, and even some TV interviews that I did back in 2007. Your English and German will be challenged that's for sure!

Welcome friends! Join me for a family talk with Naomi, Adina and Elijah, from the comfort of our living rooms in Germany. Today we share some fascinating stories, about how we have received and passed on, true and living faith. Listen in to get a glimpse, of how that has worked out, in each of our lives. I loved hearing from my two oldest grandchildren, their experiences and convictions, in following Jesus. Words of wisdom from each one! I hope you find hope and encouragment for your own life and family!

Welcome back friends!    Maybe you saw my Spotify wrap, that I posted on Instagram under “vandoorenkristine”. As I prepare for and write the stories each week, I do sometimes get discouraged, not knowing exactly who is listening or interested. The podcast is heard regularly in the US, Germany, UK, Ireland, Finland, Canada, Australia and India. From the viewer charts I can see there are many other countries where people pop in to have a listen. I would love to hear directly from you on Instagram, any comments or questions you might have. In the last couple of episodes you heard Thomas preaching in Munich, and about the church developments in Germany, and the event we went to in West Berlin. Around that time us women were also having get togethers. I have talked about my experiences living at the Trudering house and being a part of the sisters meetings and parties, and weddings we organized together. After we had spread out from the communal situation, we continued meeting for Bible studies and to pray for each other. It was also a new phase for Thomas, being the babysitter, but he was always supportive.

This was an example of how important it is, to reach out to people in the work place, with neighbors, and within our families. You just never know what kind of fruit, a simple conversation can bring about, even if it might take a few years until a person is ready to surrender their lives to the Lord. At some point, these two couples ,decided they wanted to recommit themselves to their marriage partner, and make a new start. Thomas offered to plan a ceremony for them to renew their vows in front of the congregation. A quaint chapel near Munich was found for the service. The photos I took on that day are really sweet. The grooms dressed smartly in suits, and the brides with pretty dresses, and flowers in their hair. Our girls and Henny's daughter, posed with their bouquets of wild flowers, ready to walk down the aisle. Many family members also came, so the vows included a testimony of their commitment to the Lord and to each other. Carole wore a white hippie style dress with a long blue velvet coat, and their 10 year old son, posed happily with them. This was a special day for these children, knowing their parents were going to live together again, in one home.

As I have mentioned before, I consider our story a part of history, concerning the developments in the churches in Germany. A lot has changed over the years since the 70s; which includes the message, the style and traditions, and the methods of reaching the unsaved. To me it is intriguing as I learn more about those times, through the lens, of my young German husband. Much of his experience and perspective, I couldn't relate to. Since I grew up in sunny California where live was easy, there was no correlation to the dreariness of life, in the walled city of West Berlin. When I lived there with Thomas in 1970, it did have an effect on me, a sort of darkness and hopelessness seemed to be normal within his circle of school friends and musicians. Even if I would have known the history of Germany, which I didn't, it still couldn't have prepared me for daily life there. One time years later, Thomas was telling his testimony, and said that I saved him out of the pit he was in, by taking him to California. He said otherwise, he probably would have died young, from either drugs or suicide.

We were young and always juggling church activities, with family time, and Thomas' job. I found some pictures of our yearly church retreat, in autumn of 1980. Even though a lot of planning went into it, plus traveling with small kids, these long weekends were worth it. For us women who had lived communally, we were especially routined in, shopping and cooking for a large crowd. Plus we had experience in organizing events, that were fun, and provided a rich time for both the young and old. Besides age and family backgrounds, the gathering included many nationalities; British, French, Austrian, New Zealand, Belgium, Switzerland, American, German, Greek, Polish and Italian. Our group photo, of some 60 people that weekend, brings back so many nice memories. I wish I knew where all those people are now, and how their lives turned out!

During the summer vacation with our parents, Thomas and I, celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. We were able to go out for the evening, just the two of us, which was always a special time to share our hearts and talk about our dreams for the future. By 1980 we had been together for 10 years, and were continually amazed, at God's faithfulness in our lives. He had blessed us with four daughters which gave us much joy, and we looked forward to raising them in the nurture of the Lord. We had gone through three difficult years before we were Christians. Being immersed in the hippie lifestyle following our hearts, and not wanting to believe that our ways, were sinful in God's eyes. The first big change in our relationship took place when we exchanged wedding vows at the Civic Center in 1972. Less than 10 months later, we prayed to Jesus for the first time together, and the next day our daughter was born. In that week, two miraculous events took place, showing us that God is real, and he was protecting us. From then on our lives took on a whole new direction. As you have heard the story, you know how we eventually ended up back in Germany, as missionaries. Becoming part of a team, that went to Munich to start a church, was definitely not something we could have imagined before.

I will begin today by connecting some of the dots back to our story in 1980. In the last episode, I was talking about learning to read the Bible out loud, to encourage my soul. I remembered that my first experience was with Psalm 42, and especially the part that says, ”Why are you cast down o my soul? Hope in God." But I had forgotten about verse 8; “Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer to the God of my life.” I thought this is so beautiful, imagining that God has a song for me, even in the night. It was like a new discovery or reminder, not to worry about the troubles in this life. Like Rachel said in our Conversation Interview, ”Even though I have read the Bible throughout my lifetime, I still stumble on verses that I hadn't noticed before. That's an example of God's word being alive. It can always speak to us in a fresh way.” For myself, I had an encouraging experience while I was writing Episode 108. “scripture in song” by Jason Silver

Welcome back to another discussion with my friend, Rachel. Today we would like to go into more details about our experiences as young women, learning to let God's Word, become the foundation of our life. I believe that all men and women seek fulfillment, and have the need for a direction that gives them hope, love and a place of refuge. We talk about receiving a new identity in Christ, only He can make everything new, in our hearts and lives. It truly is possible to receive faith, and experience the loving kindness of God, through learning to understand the Bible. It's a process, but He has promised to give us His peace, that passes all understanding!

Welcome friends! I would like to introduce to you, my good friend Rachel, who is originally from the UK. We met here in Munich at a German church. We discovered quickly on, our love in reading, and studying the Bible. This might seem a bit uncommon for women, but in various ways, and for different reasons, God set us on that path. Enjoy listening to Rachel's journey from Birmingham, to France, and eventually to Germany. Every step of the way, accompanied by the truths of the Bible!

On with the next episode that takes place in the year of 1980. You have heard about our new endeavors, branching out and connecting, with new friends in Italy. I told a portion of their story packing up, and leaving the familiarity of their lives behind, for an unknown future in Italy. In the recent “Rerun - Final Countdown,” I shared a lot of the details that led to Thomas and I, finding our way back to Germany. Though we took some unusual routes, that even led to discarded plans, still we trusted that God was going before us. The most joyful event as new Christians, was the day we turned onto the road with the welcoming cross at the Living Waters Ranch. Then a year and a half later, we left that same road forever. It was a sad but hopeful day, as we viewed the large wooden cross, that stood out from the Redwood trees in the distance. But we were taking with us, so many valuable lessons and friendships, that we had known there. I mentioned in that episode that we had made an 8mm movie, walking through the fields, crossing the creek, and spending the afternoon with Naomi, in the dining room of the Redwood dome. Well, that film and others, have finally been incorporated into a 22 minute interview documentary that my grandson made with me. He did a beautiful, and time consuming job, putting many of the pieces of our lives together, in one short film. Hopefully I will be able to share it with you soon!  

Welcome friends! In the last episode, I was talking about the adventures of our friends, that moved from California to Florence, Italy. I thought it would be fun, especially for my new listeners, to hear my story about ending up in Germany. At the end of 1974, Thomas and I, with our first daughter, (and pregnant with number two), were sadly moving away from Living Waters. The plan was to live in Eureka, in a communal house, and get more Bible training there. But we discovered that God had a completely different plan for our lives. This is what happened!

A couple of months ago, I posted two video conversations, about the beginnings of a church in the UK. This fits into our story, of how we came in contact with other people, who also desired to go to different countries. Throughout the coming year of 1980, there were more developments, in this direction. Thomas was hearing from his friend, Steve, in Eureka, that a team was forming to go to Italy. Their situation was similar to how the UK team started, with people who had lived in our communal house in Trudering. Maybe you remember, I talked about a group that came in 1975, called Christ is the Answer. They were still at our house, when the second team from Eureka joined us in Munich. Marc, who was a part of that team wrote about all of these adventures in his book. I will reference it at the end of the podcast. Song link: "Beautiful are the Feet" https://youtu.be/lUbk9el1jgE?si=Bu7sX69lx643nwVp 

As usual, I have been rummaging through old newsletters, and found this statement that Thomas wrote. He was reporting to our friends in the States about what we were doing in Germany as missionaries. He said; “Kristine besides being a mother of four, was involved with church organization, counselling and teaching women, children's work, correspondence, and hospitality.” Of course, I wasn't doing all of that at the same time, but what stood out to me now, is the mention of teaching women. I used to have stacks of notebooks from the 70s and 80s, but unfortunately, I didn't keep them the last time I moved. It would have been fun to see, what kind of notes I made, in English and in German. Since I have been reading Thomas' German articles, it's obvious for me to see how far away I was, from being able to express things in German fluently. But because I wanted to communicate with the women, things that were important to me, I was motivated to try my best. The regular sermons and Bible studies in out church were always led by the men. The teachings applied to everyone, but sometimes it was important for us ladies to get together, and talk personally.  After I was finished with the months of nursing our fourth daughter, I started getting together with the women at one of the communal houses. Since we were spread out in the city, it was a good opportunity to meet the young women, who were new in the faith. This began for me a deeper pursuit into the scripture, so I could share God's truths with the women. Song link "Run to You" by Elijah Thomas https://open.spotify.com/track/4AsOs1rWSG0IAdLnY8ZfTT?si=4JZQUJ10QyuAhPUcNkzlwA&context=spotify%3Atrack%3A4AsOs1rWSG0IAdLnY8ZfTT

In the last episode, you heard Thomas and Naomi, singing a portion of Psalm 46. In reading the scripture verses, it made me curious, as to the reason he chose those particular phrases. They must have rung true to him at the time. It begins with “God, is our confidence and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we shall not fear, though the earth be removed, and the waters roar.” So what was my young husband troubled about when he sang “I will not fear, even though the ground is shaking under my feet.” Although our home life was harmonious, and he didn't have any problems at work, there were other issues wearing on him. That year our form of ministry had shifted and it wasn't easy, learning to re-structure, after having a communal base. There were still two community houses, but it wasn't easy for everyone to find their place. Some of the newly married couples, were also busy establishing a means of support, and preparing to start a family. We were living through, not only the “winds of change” in our young church, but also the troubles in Germany were ever present. In the world news there were constant reports, just like Jesus said, “ You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it, that you are not alarmed.”

One of our churche's regular outings, was a meeting point, on Sunday afternoon, at the Monopteros, in the English Gardens. It is a famous landmark of Munich; a round ornamental temple in Greek style, that towers 16 meters high. It was built on a raised grassy embankment and especially attracted, subculture groups such as the hippies in the 1960s. It has always been a tourist attraction, with a great vantage point for taking pictures. Today it's also a hang-out spot for students from around the world. For those of us from California, the place brought back memories of Hyde Park in San Francisco, where the hippie gatherings took place. In other words, it was the perfect place to meet people and share the gospel. Thomas wrote in the church brochure, that the meeting time was every Sunday, when it wasn't raining, at 2:00. He encouraged everyone, to be brave and take a turn, to share the testimony, or story about how they met Jesus. Thomas, Randy and Steve brought their guitars, and led our group in songs of praise, to draw in the passerbyes. I have a cool photo taken one day when Marc, who even though his German wasn't perfect, loved to tell the people how Jesus set him free. Sometimes friends from other churches, would come and join in. Many lives were touched during those years. I wonder if other Christians go out there today. Sadly, I cannot remember the last time, I have ever been there again.

In the meantime, my stories about being Christians, have covered a time frame, of seven years. In Episode 102, I was telling about how Thomas had the opportunity to teach; by writing and translating articles, for the church brochure. The time had come for Thomas, to formulate his understanding of the scriptures. It also took him deeper into explaining God's principles in German. This is what he had been equipped and trained to do all along. The first two articles that appeared in the “Ernte” brochure, were on Character and Identity. These subjects are just as relevant today as they were when Paul wrote his letters. The same principles and truths of God, still apply to all men and all women. What also helped Thomas grow, was studying and translating, articles and books by Jim Durkin. In 1976 our ministry in Eureka, started sending us tapes and books; a lot of which were based on their radio program called "Practice the Word."

This is Thomas' journey of putting aside his instruments, and identity as a musician. In an unexpected way, the Lord gave him new music, melodies to the scriptures. At the prayer cabin, Thomas began writing letters to his family in West Berlin. He warned them about the deceptions of the world's philosophies, that have their foundation in evolution. He wrote that instead of human knowledge, they should turn to God, who is the Creator, who is all wise. Thomas wrote that the “Truth is so simple and can set you free."                             I have added below, 2 links so you can get an idea of the scripture songs we sang. They helped build into our hearts and minds, the Truth and the Joy of the Lord! Seek ye first the kingdom of God: https://youtu.be/EsBpM9IcBts?si=Nn47PsT-0J2FOxA9  He is exalted: https://youtu.be/vUq4QDrtEjY?si=TXRMOsPbLKjkZaxp 

The next two weeks are vacation time, so I thought it would be fun to listen to a couple of episodes that are “oldies but goodies.” I am calling them Reruns! They are about our beginnings as brand new baby Christians. These podcasts were recorded, exactly two years ago, in 2022. In this episode I tell the exciting stories of our life, living in the tipi at Living Waters in May of 1973. The theme is about the miracle of being forgiven by God, and receiving a heart of flesh, rather than the old heart of stone. Here's a link to the songs we sang in those days! Singing the scriptures filled our hearts with joy and wonder! This helped us the memorize important truths in the Bible. https://youtu.be/SxjMHm5ZEwg?si=7AlryKZC4A9gCIW0 

My last episodes were about our fresh start living in our own apartment. We were settling into the school routine and Thomas' job. My mother in law came from West Berlin as soon as she could, she was excited to see baby Miriam, and our new home. She was able to take time off from work, to spend a week with us. Fortunately we had a nice set up for guests, the living room couch could be opened up as a bed. She loved the room immediately with it's balcony and view of the mountains. The girls were thrilled to have her join us and of course to see what kind of presents she brought. This time she had a surprise, Christian tapes for children, that were produced by people in her church. I thought that would be a big boost for them, to listen to stories, and music in German. Nadja seemed to be more comfortable with our family, than when she visited us in Trudering. She even felt confident to help out with her newest granddaughter. And she enjoyed seeing how grown up Naomi had become since starting school. Lizzy and Esther's German had also improved so she was pretty impressed. Living with us, was like a time of healing, because she did not have pleasant memories, of her early years as a mother. Her husband only concentrated on his music at the theatre in East Berlin, where she had also been a dancer. Beautiful Christian Instrumental Music: https://youtu.be/2UUDSBD-Vnw?si=XkhfZeuyB_uk7sgI 

Today we have Part 2 with my friends in Wales. They have some fascinating stories, about their experiences in starting a church fellowship, in Birmingham, England. Here' a quote from Alex written shortly after they arrived: "I feel like a stranger at times, and like Abraham, we know we are pilgrims, And yet, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! The insecurity of our circumstances, drives us to the security, of God's promises. In weakness, He gives us His strength."

Welcome friends! I am introducing today, old friends of mine, that live in Wales. We have known each other since 1980, and have some amazing connections from our past, in California. In my last Episode 101, I started talking about a couple we knew from the Trudering house, who had gone back to England. They hoped that a team from our ministry in Eureka, would come and help them, start a church. This is the beginning of that story! Enjoy!

Shortly after Thomas and I, had our fourth daughter, we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. In retrospect that seems like a short time, but since we had experienced so many different phases together, it seemed like a big accomplishment. I have talked about the radical changes, that took place after we got married, and how we finally found what we were looking for, peace with God. Our first 3 ½ years were somewhat of a wild ride. But after we ended up at the Christian ranch called Living Waters, our lives became a constant stream, of peaceful and joyous moments. Everything made sense when we realized, that God had a plan for our marriage, our children and our future. Now at this time in our lives, we were on cloud nine, rejoicing over having a new baby, and a new home in Blumenau, Munich. In Episode 99 that I titled “Just Us”, I described our new beginning after leaving the communal housing we were used to. Recently, I found in my box of old cards, the following letter that Thomas had written for our anniversary in August 1979. It was like discovering a secret treasure, when I opened up the folder paper. It is kind of fragile, but because he wrote with large handwriting, the inside still looks fresh and is easy to read. On the front he drew a heart with the words  “From your Beloved.”

For today's podcast I am celebrating 100 “true story” episodes. I am thankful for everything I have learned along the way, including the ability necessary, to do research, write each episode, and then do the voice recording and upload it onto the hosting website. Without my daughter, Debby's faithful editing, which often includes my old tape recordings, this podcast wouldn't exist. Besides the regular work, there are always various complications, with technical stuff that arise. And I really appreciate all of you, who have followed me here, and on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. I enjoy all of your comments and questions as I go along. Plus some of you, have helped add to my story because of the things you remember, about our past together. Who would have suspected, that we would be reminiscing about our experiences, some 50 years later on a podcast, that is available around the world. My listeners are in the US, the UK, Ireland, Germany, Australia, India and Finland. Welcome to everyone who is new to “Finding Purpose”, I hope you can get on board by starting with Episode 1, so you get the full picture. Last week's TV episode in German, took place 17 years ago. The interesting thing was, on the day that was released, I was sitting in a make-shift studio with my 22 year old grandson Elijah, doing an interview in English. For his media classes at the university, the assignment was to plan and film, an interview. His questions focused not only on our beginnings, but also into our future developments. It was fun for me, experiencing the difference in his interest as a member of the family, compared to the interviewer who had read my autobiography.

This program from Bibel TV was recorded in Hamburg. Our conversation was about the "Song of my Life", based on my autobiography titled "Das Lied meines Lebens," published in 2007. The interviewer asked some really deep and personal questions. For example: What led me to West Berlin from California when I was 19 years old, and how did I meet my future husband there? Then, how did we end up together in California, landed in jail because of drugs, and moved to the mountains and lived in a tipi? Then, how did our lives change after we met Jesus People, in Mendocino? Then, how did we end up back in Germany in 1975? Then, what took place in my family's life when my husband, Thomas van Dooren, developed cancer, and passed away in the summer of 1999? At the end the interviewer asked me how I would describe God, after all the highs and lows, I have experienced in life. Hope you enjoy watching! I will also post this on my YouTube channel!

Many times over the years, I have been asked if we actually enjoyed living in a communal situation. In my early episodes, I have talked about all of the wonderful experiences we had, and how God used each place and the people there, to form our characters. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Now in the coming episodes I will be sharing how we made the big step into normal life, living as a family in our own apartment. A lot of new challenges were set before us. So here we go with our first day in Blumenau, Munich. Thomas and I, were woken up early by our little baby, and from the open window we could hear the birds. What a joy that was! No more crashing of the liqour bottles like we had gotten used to downtown. Pretty soon the girls were up and chatting in their room across the hall. Any minute they would be climbing in bed with us and wanting to hold their baby sister. But we didn't have much time to play, because Naomi, needed to get ready for school. I headed into the kitchen, that wasn't quite organized yet. Little Miriam could watch us from her baby chair on the table. I set out the cornflakes and oats mixture, that was our standard breakfast. While the girls ate together I made Naomi's sandwich and put it along with a juice box in her backpack. At school the kids called it their “Pausebrot”, a sandwich they could eat at recess time. This was the first step, in getting into the swing of having a school kid, which would was going to effect the whole family's routine. Scripture in Song:   They That Wait Upon the Lord (youtube.com)

After nine months sharing an apartment with the church office and another couple, Thomas set out to find a new home for our family of six. We were under time pressure to move before Naomi started the first grade. We talked with our little girls about this plan and made a prayer list of our needs which included, another part time job for daddy. For me, the biggest issue was that I just had a baby. At least I was feeling good, and our little girl was easy to take care of. But the timing of moving house, would mean,  she would be only 5 or 6 weeks old. So once again I needed to start packing. The girls were familiar, with the procedure now, so they were excited to help. We hoped to find an apartment in a residential area that was near a grade school, and most importantly within our price range. We didn't have a preference concerning a specific area in the city. Another challenge would be finding a landlord, that didn't mind renting to a large family. We trusted the Lord, that He would lead us to the right place. song: I Will Call Upon the Lord (youtube.com)

So, a new exciting phase, in our lives began with four children. Thomas went out first thing in the morning to the local bakery, to bring us fresh rolls and Nutella, for our celebration breakfast. After the girls were dressed, and I nursed the baby, and they took turns holding the baby, their real life dolly! It was so cute to see Elisabeth, who was almost two, with her baby sister on her lap. Naomi and Esther, were already experienced older sisters, and knew how to hold a baby. Their favorite thing was picking out the clothes each day. It was going to take some getting used to though, with mommy's schedule, of nursing the baby and the sleeping patterns. But I felt I was more prepared this time, in how to coordinate everything, because of my experience having the third child. When the girls were down for their naps, Thomas couldn't wait to show me what he wrote during the night. Between the different phases I was going through, he had some moments sitting in the chair beside me. He was taking it all in, this was our fourth birth experience together. He probably was reminded of the first time, when he delivered Naomi, by himself. And then the last two births, with a midwife in charge. But still I think it was dramatic, touching, and overwhelming, for him to watch me go through a certain amount of pain.

We had a big decision to make. Should we travel to California six weeks before my due date? By that time, Judy announced that she was also pregnant, and had no desire to travel. She offered to take care of my girls, if we wanted to go. Thomas and I, felt confident that I could handle the flight. But the idea of leaving the children home was our main concern. Since they knew, we would be staying at Grandmas house, they could imagine and accept that idea. We told them we would be back in a few days, and bring them some special presents. So we planned a ten day, whirlwind trip, that would include staying with my family and traveling to Santa Cruz for three days. Part of my goal then, was to spruce myself up, ready to see our ministry friends at the conference. I cut my hair a bit shorter and made myself a purple flowered dress, for the California summer. Thomas and I, had a good flight over, and were happy to see my parents waiting for us in San Francisco. We were all amazed that we could see each other again, after just one year. Arriving at their house in the evening, was the perfect time to call Germany, and check on the girls. It was fun for them, to hear our voices, and they also got to talk to Grandma and Grandpa.

When I look back at my photo album, from those days of leaving the Trudering house, there is something that stands out to me. There were no group photos of a celebration party like, when others had moved away. There are also no pictures of the men, filling up the vans with furniture in the front of the house. This time, we were all leaving, and too busy trying to re-orient ourselves. Most of us Americans, shared the same commitment to the ministry work, and this phase wasn't such a big deal. When our moving date, at the end of December '78 arrived, I was trying my best to keep the girls occupied, while coping with the pregnancy nausea. Thomas, John, and a couple of the brothers, had to take apart all of the closets, desks from our private rooms, plus the office on the attic floor. Everything had to be carried down flights of stairs and then the puzzle began, of fitting the furniture into the Volkswagen vans. There was going to be quite a few runs into the city, unload the stuff, and then drive back to Trudering. Next they loaded up the “antique” kitchen cupboard, and last of all, the packed boxes from three floors in the house. The girls and I, and Judy, tried to carry on with our day, knowing we would be waiting until the evening when the men returned. Their priority was to get the beds set up and the basics for the kitchen ready. When Thomas got back, he loaded me and the girls into the little “Ente Citroen” car to take us to our new home. This time arriving at the "Herzog Wilhelm" address, and walking up the wooden stairway, would be the beginning of a new era for our family. I was impressed, to see hard Thomas had worked that day, and had the beds already set up. Thankfully, the girls had a lot of practice traveling, and sleeping in different places. So we were off to a pretty good start.

One of my young adult granddaughters, has been listening to my podcast starting at the beginning. I have told her a few stories about when I met her grandfather, but she had some specific questions. So I decided to listen to Episodes 7, 8 and 9 to refresh my mind. I wrote those episodes almost 2 years ago and based them, not only on memories, but with the help of photographs and Thomas' letters to his mother. Those accounts of how we met, and the dramatic experiences we shared, makes me think of what Isaiah wrote in Chapter 43 to God's people. “I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I, am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel your Savior.” Even though Thomas and I, were far from seeking the God of the Bible, He was protecting us from being consumed, by deep waters and burning fires. Through His grace, we would be found of Him, and come to know him as our Savior. Now when I am writing about our lives in the late 70s, it could be assumed, that we were always Christians. But in reality, the first years of our lives, we were pursuing our own selfish dreams. It wasn't until God reached down, pulled us out of the deep waters, and gave us new hearts, did we learn what it meant to be a Christian. Though our past seemed like a lifetime away, we didn't want to forget where we came from.

Getting started with this part of our story, I had to think of a verse in the Old Testament that says, “For who has despised the day of small beginnings?” None of us can understand at the moment, what God is doing, in seemingly insignificant things that happen. For those of us who walk, day by day with Jesus, we learn to see His purposes being accomplished over time. One very important experience I had on that journey, happened shortly, after Thomas passed away. There were so many pressing decisions to be made that affected my family's future. I realized then, that I had already learned to follow Jesus, by following my husband. All of our small beginnings, were part of the path God had placed us on. Together we had known the faithfulness of the Lord for 30 years. And on our last morning together, Thomas prayed for me ...

After recooperating from jet lag, it was back to work, and our normal schedule at the Trudering house. It was good that Thomas' friend, John, had also gone to the elder's conference with us. They both had fresh inspiration and were happy to share their experiences at the next family meeting. The time we had spent with our old friends from Living Waters, had been a reminder, of where we all came from. We were searching for the truth and found it in Jesus. Thomas and John used to preach on the streets in Eureka, and now, they were doing that in Munich. This makes me think of Paul's letter to the Ephesians in Chapter 2, where he wrote, remember where you came from; “You were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked, according to the course of this world…But God being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, made us alive together with Christ.” The challenge in Munich, was learning to impart these things to people that God brought to us, from different countries. One truth that we had learned early on, I found in Thomas' notebook titled “Erneuerung unseres Sinnes, Einleitung das Wort zu Praktizieren”, "Renewing your mind. An introduction to practicing the Word.” ..

Welcome back everyone! And I would like to say, a special greeting, to my new listeners! Now we had three little girls, joining us on the journey, of becoming a cross cultural family. We had returned for a visit to California after living in Germany for almost 4 years. Though Thomas had grown up in West Berlin, his roots in the Christian faith, had begun in California. Our story continues! After returning from the elders conference, we took our girls with us to a gathering called the “Festival of the Son.” They were going to see some familiar faces, adults and children, they knew from our communal house in Munich. The festival had been a tradition in the early 70's for the "Jesus People" in northern California. It was an outdoor, camping event in the Santa Cruz area. Fortunately, we could borrow sleeping bags and air mattresses, from my parents. Our friends, Steve and Tony, were bringing an extra tent and everything else needed for cooking. Thomas and I, were looking forward to camping in the forest, but it would be a new experience for our daughters. It was going to bring back memories, of the many tree planting jobs, we had been on.   When we arrived at the camping area, we were pleasantly surprised to see all the tents set up around the picknick tables and barbeques. Many of our old friends from Living Waters were there. It was like the old days, cooking and sharing meals together. It was the perfect opportunity to have some quality time with each other. Thomas and I, were also introduced to a group of people from the new church called “Verbo” in Guatemala City. The original team from Eureka, had gone down there after the earthquake in February of 1976. It was a horrible disaster, with thousands of people dying and injured. This also meant, that thousands of people lost their homes, and live-lihoods.

It was springtime, we had just celebrated Thomas' birthday, and we had another party with the Trudering kids, for Esther who turned three. Thomas' had made for himself a strict work plan. In his notebook he wrote out his schedule that says; get up at 5:45, prayer at 6:30, breakfast at 7:30, Bible reading at 11:15. Sundays he got up at 6:30, and breakfast in the house started at 7:30. Once we had the Sunday services downtown that became a big  priority for the day for him. In contrast to his responsibilities, we were always looking to make improvements, for our family life. During that time, we had agreed with everyone in the house, that Tuesday would be our free day. The men and women all had their own jobs, either outside of the house, or working in the “Glasblume” shop. The next bold decision we made, was to have most of our meals as a family, in our room. Little Elisabeth, was six months old, and learning to eat. I found it frustrating, trying to supervise my three girls, in the community dining room. There were just too many distractions.

With our official name “Christliche Hausgemeinde,” we had set out on a significant new course. This effected all of us, as we learned together, how to organize a church service for the public. The men had been scouting out locations near the center of Munich. The two main conditions were, that it was affordable and available on Sundays. What they decided on was somewhat amusing; a Taekwondo hall. Besides the sport classes that took place during the week, there was a meditation group, that was following the teachings of an Indian guru. His picture hung on a prominent wall with the title, “the perfect master.” Fortunately, we were allowed to remove it when we came in, and replaced it with a temporary wall hanging, that Judi and I, had made. None of us realized how much work it was going to be to transform that hall into a welcoming place suitable for a church service. We had a couple of teams that came early to set up each Sunday. The first step was rolling out a large carpet we bought to protect the floor. Then our new chairs were lined up in rows facing the front where the microphones were placed. A second team came with boxes of supplies for the room we used for the children. At the end of the meeting and after all of the guests were gone, everyone pitched in packing our stuff, stacking the chairs and rolling up the carpet. For the first meetings, we were excited and nervous, to see who would come and what the atmosphere would be like.