Intimate Interactions

Talking about flirting and creepiness with men can be challenging sometimes. I've heard folks literally say you can't even flirt anymore because it could lead to negative consequences. Today, I'm going to chat about the difference between flirting and creepiness. Spoilers: it's all about the dynamic between two people, not about what one person is communicating. Our guest today is Andre Lazarus, an Intimacy and Sex coach, a Surrogate Partner, and a Sacred Intimate with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Now let's talk about fragility, defensiveness, and creepiness - and best of all, how to do your best to avoid them and channel accountability, consent, and nurturance here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Today I'm interviewing Roy Biancalana, a 62 year old white guy who was once a TV analyst from Florida. I know you're probably not sure where this is going - usually when someone says man from Florida, you're expecting to to be like a “man from Alberta” story but bigger, crazier, Americaner. In this case, I'm interviewing a Chicago-based relationship coach of 15 years who self-describes as having made almost every relationship mistake a cis heterosexual man can make. This episode we'll get to know each other a little and talk about accountability. Site: https://coachingwithroy.com/ Book: Relationship Bootcamp Podcast: The Attracting, Lasting Love Podcast --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Mahima is back to talk about daily practices and consistency. Many of us say we want to be disciplined, but she uses the word “blissiplined” in that discipline need not be an onerous task or strife. She'll discuss the importance of a community and the culture they embody and model for you. We'll touch on the importance of play in making daily practices compelling. Finally, content warning for the word “tribe” to mean a small community of non indigneous people forming close relationships. Resources Simon Sinec - Start with Why It won't change unless you do Done w feeling busy with this story Atomic habits The obstacle is the way Grit by Duckworth Keep Sharp by Sanjay Gupta --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Psilocybin containing mushrooms are increasingly in research publications these days. In February 2022, Johns Hopkins published a follow up study suggesting the anti-depressant effects of psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy for those with Major Depressive Disorder may last at least a year for some patients, see show notes for the study. Today we'll be talking with Susannah Rose Stokes about metamorphosis and transformation. Our conversation will wander from sacred sexuality to church culture, from bdsm culture and brat identities back to sexuality and threesomes. And of course, we'll talk about mushrooms from microdoses to hero doses. I'll even share a recent mishap involving my first experience with Costa Rican mushrooms. Enjoy. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02698811211073759 https://www.instagram.com/susannahroses/?hl=en https://www.linkedin.com/in/golden-rule-leadership https://opentomore.mykajabi.com/ (Open to More course) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Today we're talking with Andre Lazarus, an Intimacy and Sex coach with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Now, let's chat about intimate things we can do with our partners that don't involve penetration. For those of you who love penetration, note that these exercises might improve intimacy and through that, improve the quality of the penetrative sex you have later on. Your mileage may vary, but either way good luck! Resources Non-Violent Communication (NVC) the book helped me with boundaries The Assertiveness Workbook helped me with passivity and passive-aggressive communication We talk about indie intimacy po0rn and I refer to https://Afourchamberedheart.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today we'll be talking about shitting our pants, recording ourselves having sex, and faking orgasms. You can find the audio recordings of people getting off here at Sounds of Pleasure dot Tumblr dot com. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Mahima is back, the woman who grew up in apartheid Zimbabwe and now introduces herself as Europe's number one self mastry expert. Today we'll talk about her journey through love and intimacy from 26 where she meets a new man precipitating a spiritual awakening. We talk about dancing with shadow energy for your whole life and giving much less of a fuck since turning 21. Content warnings for body image and weight loss. Don't worry, we'll end on a body positive note and giving far less of a fuck. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Today we're talking about sexual surrogacy: what is it, who does it, how does it work, and is it sex work. Andre Lazarus, a Surrogate Partner and Sacred Intimate himself with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy, joins us to give us the goods. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Resources IPSA (International Professional Surrogacy Association) https://www.surrogatetherapy.org/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

We're back with At Least Twice Have I Ever with Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix. Twice Have I Ever is a party game where we try to pick something we've done at least twice that the others have not done. Today, we'll talk about being choked out during sex, recording porn, having group sex, and lots more! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Sacred Sexuality is a simple idea and sometimes a convoluted topic. Susannah Rose is back today to talk about how intimacy and relationships are shaped by our culture and origin story: monogamy, religion, military service, bdsm, and lots more. We'll talk a bit about unicorn fostering, distinguish between bottoms and subs in bdsm, and talk about designing relationships. It's going to be fun! https://www.instagram.com/susannahroses/?hl=en https://www.linkedin.com/in/golden-rule-leadership https://opentomore.mykajabi.com/ (Open to More course) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

I'm excited to introduce my guest today, Mahima. She grew up in apartheid zimbabwe, married a swiss man at 21, divorced at 22, and is focused on cultivating peace, connection to self, to soul, and to sexual expression. Content warning for abuse, racism, body image, weight loss, self loathing, and apartheid. If I had to sum Mahima up in two words, it would be “love yourself.” Let's go to the session. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today we'll be talking about fisting someone, having sex with someone twice your age, and having sex in a bathroom. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Today we're talking about expectations around strength, support, and staying composed. Join myself and Andre Lazarus as we chat about open communication, masculinity, and non monogamy. Andre is an Intimacy and Sex coach, a Surrogate Partner, and a Sacred Intimate with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @coming closerwithandre on social media. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Susannah Rose is with us today to chat about intimacy. An interesting twist today is that she's completed combat tours in Afghanistan and I convinced her to talk a bit about the stresses she experienced while serving and the way intimacy functions in military hierarchy both between officers and among ranks. Content warnings: the 2012 Bastion Leatherneck attack comes up as well as some discussion of misogyny. It's a special session today with Susannah Rose. Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

We're back with Would You Rather. Our panel today is Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix. Would You Rather is a party game where we ask the other players to choose between two highly desirable or two highly undesirable outcomes or sometimes just between two really different outcomes to get to know each other better. Today, we'll ask if we'd rather face a robot or zombie apocalypse, eat a beloved pet or get eaten by said pet, and lots more! Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Today we talk about internalised judgement and internalised patriarchy. We talk about divorce and blame. We circle back to Yin and Yang and all things containing their opposites. True receiving is discussed as considering the whole person meaning you must also be receptive to yourself receiving. We talk about pain and pleasure in the context of Yin and Yang. Content warnings for trauma, crisis, gender binary stuff, heterosexual stuff, and I suppose woo in the form of traditional chinese medicine. If you're science-minded, I encourage you to try listening to woo content as reasoning behind why something works based in allegory or metaphor rather than empirical reasoning. Not my usual content but I appreciate being outside of my comfort zone and stretching to think in ways I don't usually choose. Check out Winnie's free community, paid course, and shadow work book at https://mindfulhealingheart.com. Now let's go to the session with Winnie here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Dr. Joli Hamilton is back yet again to share her wisdom. Today we'll be talking about plastic psyches and healing attachment injury. She talks about why she studies jealousy how she does. We do a quick call in about sex vs gender language and talk about why she labels her research how she does. You can check out Dr. Hamilton's TedX talk or visit https://jolihamilton.com for more. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

We're back with Never Have I Ever with Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today, we'll ask about hook ups, sex while wearing a mask, and much more! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Alexandra Harbushka is back! After creating the Life with Herpes community to help anyone from suffering the way she did for any longer than absolutely necessary, she went on to create herpes wellness products and to offer 1-on-1 coaching for folks newly positive with herpes. Here we talk about meaningful steps for destigmatizing herpes infection such as how to prevent outbreaks. For more, check out Alexandra's site, lifewithherpes.com. Again, as a side note, there are always medical exceptions where any infection can be particularly severe or painful. While these are the exception and not the rule, it's important we don't erase the real suffering that some herpes sufferers experience even if they are not the norm. There are also treatments now like valcyclovir for those with frequent outbreaks to reduce outbreaks, pain, and transmission. Now let's get into the content with Alexandra Harbushka here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

What is self resourcing? Who has an easier time with compersion? Does your community moralize compersion or shame jealousy? Is it healthy to have banned emotions that you can't talk about in your relationship? You probably know most of these answers, but what about strategies? Dr. Joli Hamilton suggests practising compersion and managing jealousy on smaller, easier situations and then working up to harder ones. I'm always happy to have Dr. Hamilton on the show. I love her content and can't wait to share more of it with you here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix. Twice Have I Ever is a party game where we try to pick something we've done at least twice that the others have not done. Today we'll be boasting about how we've had someone try to explain how an insertable got into their body, flashed someone consensually, been a naked human platter to serve food, and lots more here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Asking for what you want is an art. Sometimes you've had sex a certain way so many times it doesn't occur that you can ask for it any differently but you can always change your mind, and it's never too late to introduce experimentation. Sometimes using strategies like saying “you know what would make this even better?” can help. Other times you can't imagine how you would approach a person about something. In those cases, something like Marcia Baczynski's Good Girl Recovery Project or Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent or Dr. Paterson's The Assertiveness Workbook might be what you need. Of course you can always turn into The Intimate Marriage Podcast, specifically the episode called How Marriages Fail. The host of that podcast, medical doctor Alexandra Stockwell, is back to explain that how we ask can impact how good it feels for our partners to provide for us. Let's hear it straight from her on Intimate Interactions. Betty Martin, Wheel of Consent https://bettymartin.org/videos/ Marcia Baczynski https://askingforwhatyouwant.com Good Girl Recovery Project Dr. Randy Paterson The Assertiveness Workbook (https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/9781572242098-item.html) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/intimate-interactions/message

Yin and Yang teach us that all things contain some of their opposite, that things are rarely static and usually in flux. Today we're going to talk about crisis as an opportunity to work on ourselves with Winnie Chan Wang. She discusses the ABCDE method she learned from her therapist focusing on responding to being outside the window of tolerance using awareness, breath, compassionate witnessing, dialogue within, and effective response. Content warnings for trauma, crisis, gender binary stuff, heterosexual stuff, and I suppose woo in the form of traditional chinese medicine. If you're science-minded, I encourage you to try to stretch a bit in listening to woo content recognizing that just because the reasoning behind why something works is based in allegory or metaphor rather than empiricism doesn't invalidate that it can describe real processes. Check out Winnie's free community, paid course, and shadow work book at https://mindfulhealingheart.com. Now let's go to the session with Winnie here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

We're back with Never Have I Ever with a new panel: Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today, we'll ask about flashing strangers, masturbating in crowded spaces, and lots of other prompts. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Alexandra Harbushka tested positive for genital herpes, leading her to create a community of like-minded people learning how to manage the condition and thriving together online. I believe stigma, disconnection, and loneliness are possibly the most devastating parts of many STIs for many people in the industrialised world where treatments are readily available and they can afford them. As a side note, there are always medical exceptions where any infection can be particularly severe or painful. While these are the exception and not the rule, it's important we don't erase the real suffering that some herpes sufferers experience even though they're not common. There are also treatments now like valcyclovir for those with frequent outbreaks to reduce outbreaks, pain, and risk of transmission. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today medical doctor Alexandra Stockwell talks about compromise and how it impacts intimacy and passion. Over her lengthy marriage and raising four children, she's learned a lot about intimacy. Today we're going to talk about what compromises do and why sometimes compromises aren't the best solution. Please see the show notes for a link to The Assertiveness Workbook by Dr. Randy J. Paterson. You can also see http:/alexandrastockwell.com/desires (for courses) or podcast (for podcast) Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today we talk about flirting with someone for a free drink, keeping someone you've slept with a secret, and lots more! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Winnie Chan Wang visits with us today. As a licensed acupuncturist with knowledge in traditional chinese medicine, Winnie bridges both the woo world and the science world. A note for my more science-minded listeners: I try to remember that many frameworks of understanding can speak to the way things work even if their reasoning can feel inaccurate to empiricists. I'd just suggest you not take it too literally, and instead consider it exposure therapy to something you wouldn't normally hear. Or skip the episode. It's also a very heterosexual episode as Winnie talks a lot about Yin and Yang. Content warning for discussions of rape recovery. Also, for those who didn't already know, vaginal arousal secretions called transudate are neutral in pH meaning they do in fact make the vagina more hospitable for sperm. You can learn all about it on wikipedia under the vaginal discharge article though I personally find it extremely distasteful that we use this word. It's true for all genitals though so it's not so much patriarchy at work here as sexual puratanism in my opinion. For the record, a secretion is any useful substance produced, released, or if you prefer, discharged, by cells or an organism. The word useful here contrasts secretion with excretion which is used for waste products. Both are specialised forms of discharging though we use the word discharge in colloquial contexts with a negative context, often pus or blood or other waste products being released or drained from a wound. With this connotation in the vernacular, I much prefer secretion to describe the release of vaginal fluids. Or you could just say pussy juice. Yeah that works too. Today we're going to mention that pussy juices facilitate fertilisation by helping make the trek easier for sperm. Content warnings for trauma, rape, divorce, and I suppose woo. Check out Winnie's free community, paid course, and shadow work book at https://mindfulhealingheart.com. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

If you have ever had jealousy terrorize you or your relationship, you share a common pain with many individuals. Jealousy informs us. It teaches us things about ourselves and the situation - and possibly not the lessons you've been taking from it. If you could go back in time though, what would you change and what would be different for you as the person you are today? Content warning for the word flogger that comes up in the context of kink. Now, join me as I explore jealousy, intimacy, compersion, and lots more with Dr. Joli Hamilton. You can check out her TedX talk or visit her website at jolihamilton.com Now let's hear from Dr. Hamilton herself on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

We're launching into party games! Hooray! That means every few weeks for a while we're going to be recording more of a fun episode where we play games like Never Have I Ever, Would You Rather, and Twice Have I Ever. I'll explain the rules and let you know who the panel is on each show. Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix. Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven't done that the others have done. Today we talk about broken bones, TPing someone's house, and lots more. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today medical doctor Alexandra Stockwell talks about compromise and how it impacts intimacy and passion. Over her lengthy marriage and raising four children, she's learned a lot about intimacy. Today we're going to talk about what compromises do and why sometimes compromises aren't the best solution. Please see the show notes for a link to The Assertiveness Workbook by Dr. Randy J. Paterson. You can also see http:/alexandrastockwell.com/desires (for courses) or podcast (for podcast) Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Alexandra Harbushka created Life with Herpes after she tested positive for a genital herpes infection. Since her harrowing story began, involving feelings of shame, loss, grief, rejection, and deep disconnection, she's made tremendous progress. Following a lot of research and self work, she now boasts a community of people who are transitioning from surviving to thriving while infected with genital herpes. As a side note, there are always medical exceptions where any infection can be particularly severe or painful. While these are the exception and not the rule, it's important we don't erase the pain that some herpes sufferers experience even if they are less common. There are also treatments now like valcyclovir for those with frequent outbreaks to reduce outbreaks, pain, and transmission. Now, get ready for a frank conversation where we work to destigmatize the infection and talk about the hard journey Alexandra went on later creating toolkits, wellness products, and coaching services. Let's go to Alexandra here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today, Juniper and I do something terrifying. We choose to, without pre-discussing, record an episode on our one night stand and what was going on for us. She mentioned she was nervous about having the discussion and wanted to save it for our last recorded session which definitely made my heart beat faster in an “oh god, I really hope this isn't a call-out” kind of way. We both went into it blind, and here's what we recorded, on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today we get to learn from Dr. Joli Hamilton, a PhD holder in psychology with a personal fascination around jealousy, compersion, and other related topics. From jealousy being a neutral emotion rather than a negative one, expect to have your preconceptions challenged. We differentiate jealousy from envy by discussing jealousy as triangular by default where envy is dyadic. Finally, Dr. Hamilton encourages us to ask specific questions and build shared meaning and vocabulary. I expect this session to be a real treat. When you're done, feel free to check out Dr. Hamilton's TedX talk or visit her site at jolihamilton.com. Enjoy. https://www.jolihamilton.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Sex is something we do for many, many reasons from procreation to recreation, from fun to serious, from pity to insecurity, from anger to hurt, from jealousy to love. Sex is just a thing we as humans do with ourselves and with each other. Today, we talk with Robin Beatch about sex as the validating feeling of being chosen. As a former dominatrix, she approaches the talk from a place of experience. Let's get to the session here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Janina from Vienna and Berlin is back. Olivier from Belgium joins us. Today we want to talk about how fun festivals are but instead very quickly get on the topic of sexual misconduct. We really work hard to create the events we wish we could attend, but once we're organising, power makes it hard to experience them as attendees. We're constantly interrupted when trying to have fun to go put out fires. We're working and volunteering often during most of the fun. We often get paid nothing. But hey, both Janina and I have patreon accounts so if you're feeling generous you can check out intimatevictor.com/patreon or patreon.com/intimatevictor. Or you can check out Janina at patreon.com/janina_vivianne --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Juniper, the only woman I've had a one night stand with, opens up about her chronic illness Rickettsia, a bacterial infection caused by tick bites that can lead to chronic fatigue and other physiological problems. Content warning for chronic illnesses. We talk about the deep depression and complete loss of hope that can come in certain moments. Juniper describes this experience for her as a “spiritual death” that eventually got easier to manage. We talk about isolation as well. It's an intimate conversation, just as you've come to expect from us. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

What would it look like if you were invited to an orgy and you were excited to go? Would you want to go back again? If you had a partner who was genuinely excited for you to go or perhaps even come with you - would you go? Let's say you've been going to fun events that involve dating, sex, or kink. You've been going long enough people ask you to teach a five minute talk on consent. You practice. You have a decent talk. You're super nervous. You go up. You crush it. You come off the stage, and people are suddenly more interested in you. People you didn't have the confidence to approach are now approaching you. Here's the rub: power imbalances make ethical sex complicated. I want to say that again: power imbalances make ethical sex complicated. How do you put down the power of the microphone effect when the microphone is already down? People who just met you while you were on stage holding a microphone don't care that it was unpaid work you just did. They don't care that you only have a year's experience. They have none! Where does your responsibility begin and end? These are complicated situations that we all too easily find ourselves in, so let's talk a little about it with our European friends, Olivier from Belgium and Janina from Vienna and Berlin. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Catharsis is the process of getting relief from strong emotions by releasing, expressing, or processing them. Today we'll talk about different kinds from fantasies to gaming, sex, and kink. Why do we seem fascinated by zombies or the apocalypse? What does experiencing a rough or violent fantasy through BDSM look like and what are some of the many safety measures taken during such a scene? Do we play video games for how they make us feel? Is that feeling cathartic? Let's get into it with Robin here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

We talk a lot about individual accountability because we're a very individualistic culture; however community accountability doesn't just mean being accountable to your community. It also means your community being accountable. In this episode, we'll talk about some strategies we can use in our events or request our events use for reducing risk of harm. Two new friends, Olivier from Belgium and Janina from Vienna and Berlin, are keen to talk about those event management tools. What strategies should you research when figuring out how to make your events safer? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Tim is the CEO of CLICKr digital, a pay-per-click and Analytics agency. As a business strategy coach, he teaches sale and marketing and help entrepreneurs scale and grow businesses. So what is he doing on an intimacy podcast? Well part of exploring human intimacy is my curiosity and fascination about different kinds of people. Tim, while very business oriented, also loves free health care and describes himself as a centrist. In Canada, I would be considered a little left of center and Tim would be considered a little right of center, so it's always fun to chat with him and we both enjoy each others' company. As I've watched him change and grow, I've wanted to bring him on to chat about relationships: how do you build business relationships? Why is learning to build relationships important for people who run businesses? What are some take-aways we can learn about relationships from business? How has business changed Tim's life? We'll explore these questions and others today with Tim, here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Juniper is a woman who had a severe and serious chronic illness for many years. We met at an after party and had a one night stand once. Since then we've met once for coffee briefly many months later but have mostly been distant friends. Today we'll talk about ADHD and Juniper's journey to try to figure out if she has it or not. None of this is medical advice and I'm not a doctor. Still, let's chat with Juniper here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today, Robin Beach from sexwithrobin.com talks jealousy. As a sex educator, radio host, relationship consultant, and more, she brings all the experience of her coaching practice to the show just for you! Well actually it's for a lot of people but I didn't want you to feel like you weren't special too. You can see how this stuff gets complicated - but let's hear from Robin directly on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Tillie, a queer community member, suggested a long time ago to start a project to develop our friendship in a recorded, progressive fashion. They're back to draw on their chronically ill experience and share all about social support. This is an episode about support from your social network when your society has failed to provide for the most vulnerable. For those of us who have mobility restrictions or can't afford winter tires or a vehicle at all, food access can become a thing. This is especially true if you're struggling with funds. So what does that look like in your circle of friends or found family? How does your community support those who need support? And while others are using what resources they have to help their loved ones, how do those most at risk cope with anxiety and try to stay functional? Quick note: part of my ongoing growth to work with my ADHD involves lots of timers all over so I can set louder alarms enabling me to put wet laundry in the dryer or leave my house on time. This is my life as an adult with ADHD. You'll hear a beeping alarm near the end of the episode. Now, please enjoy another session of Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Tim is the CEO of CLICKr digital, a pay-per-click and Analytics agency. As a business strategy coach, he teaches sales and marketing and help entrepreneurs scale and grow businesses. So what is he doing on an intimacy podcast? As an acting student, he started out specialising in emulating human interactions, vulnerability, and intimacy. Today we'll chat about relationships in business and the distinction between acting and forming real relationships. When you're bored of conversation but you're with someone you care about, is it relationship-forming to smile for them? Is it acting? Is it inauthentic? Tim and I try to figure at least some of that out. Hope you and your loved ones are healthy and safe. Enjoy the sessions here on intimate interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

What can we do to help make the world we live in a more consensual place? How can we reduce the immense damage suffered by humans daily? Sar Surmick, the marriage and family counsellor who was the director of the Consent Academy for quite a while and still teaches with them joins us today to chat about ideas. Let's try to pick one thing that sounds doable to us and try to practice it in our lives together. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Tillie is back to talk about working from home as a chronically ill person during a pandemic. The more stuff changes, the more it stays the same. Content warning for chatting about no longer feeling suicidal. For all my chronically ill fam out there, we love; keep going. For all you folks working from home like me, two things: we're a lucky bunch to be able to support ourselves while the economy is so messed up, and many of us living without space for an office are struggling to come up with original solutions. I currently work out of a curtain surround in my dining room. It's functional. Stay mentally well out there as best you can. We're stronger together. I hope the session is helpful. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Last session with Matt Sinkovitz, we talked about his story and I gave some examples from literature about my position around pornography abstinence. Since I did my degree in molecular genetics and not sex research, I first looked up journal impact factors which is how you can tell how important a given scientific publication is. The average journal is below 1, a good journal is anything over 3 but it depends on the discipline, how popular it is, how many journals there are, etcetera. And the gold standard for excellence is anything over 10. As a brief recap, I cited the Archive of Sexual Behaviour (JIF 3.458) where Zimmer and Imhoff in 2020 wrote this article, Abstinence from Masturbation and Hypersexuality. It states a “lack of evidence for negative health effects of masturbation” stemming from “perceived problems with pornography” and “from a psychological and behavioural addiction” where addiction is in quotation marks. It stresses that “higher abstinence motivation was related to a higher perceived impact of masturbation, conservatism, and religiosity, and to lower trust in science.” I also looked up relationship quality and pornography use. Here's what I found. According to the paper “Is the Link Between Pornography Use and Relational Happiness Really More About Masturbation? Results From Two National Surveys” https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2018.1556772 (2019) They say quote “Numerous studies have observed a persistent and most often negative association between pornography use and romantic relationship quality.” It goes on to say quote “Controls are included for sex frequency and satisfaction, depressive symptoms, and other relevant correlates. Results from both the 2012 New Family Structures Study (NFSS; N = 1,977) and the 2014 Relationships in America survey (RIA; Ng = 10,106) show that masturbation is negatively associated with relational happiness for men and women, while pornography use is either unassociated or becomes unassociated with relational happiness once masturbation is included. Indeed, evidence points to a slight positive association between pornography use and relational happiness once masturbation and gender differences are accounted for…” Further, pornography use definitely doesn't seem to be a problem in women according to “Effects of Pornography Use and Demographic Parameters on Sexual Response during Masturbation and Partnered Sex in Women” published in the International Journal of Environment Research and Public Health (impact factor 3.39) https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/9/3130 So just because someone has a psychological compulsion to drink water or to exercise too much doesn't mean we shouldn't do those things. In fact people have literally died drinking too much water - something called water intoxication. Tragic link in the show notes. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/drank-too-much-water-woman-dies/article1069137/ However if you were a person who had a compulsion to drink water, you'd probably want a support group for that, and that's what Matt Sinkovitz does - not water intoxication but pornography compulsion and pornography abstinence. Quick sidebar again: I didn't want to throw him off as this was the second session that we recorded during our first ever chat. As a result, I didn't correct him when he used he/him pronouns for me and it was weird but not bad. He was great afterwards when I mentioned it to him, and for the record he seems super nice. In fact I left in the conversation at the end of the episode because it felt wholesome and I thought you'd appreciate it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

If we know what consent is and how to do it, why is it so hard for so many? Does what I think consent is match what you think consent is? If not, why not? How does this impact how we negotiate our agreements, and how can we get a little better? Marriage and family counsellor Sar Surmick joins us today to chat about how his time leading the Consent Academy and now teaching for them impacts those questions. Let's see what answers Sar has for us here on Intimate Interactions. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Matt Sinkovitz overcame a 20+ year long compulsive relationship with porn, and helps similar men do the same through his online Facebook support community, ‘Porn to Purpose', and the ‘90-Day Liberation Boot Camp', as well as the ‘7-Day Porn Abstinence Challenge'. First, Matt's a really nice guy. I enjoyed our talks even though I'm strictly evidence based and Matt is far more experiential in how he approaches helping. According to a paper published in the Archive of Sexual Behaviour (JIF 3.458) by Zimmer and Imhoff published in 2020 called Abstinence from Masturbation and Hypersexuality, there is a “lack of evidence for negative health effects of masturbation” end quote where they suggest these stem from “perceived problems with pornography” end quote as well as notion these perceived problems “[stem] from a psychological and behavioral addiction” end quote where the word addiction is used in quotation marks in the paper. Here's the crux: the same paper goes on to say “higher abstinence motivation was related to a higher perceived impact of masturbation, conservatism, and religiosity, and to lower trust in science.” end quote Again, that was Abstinence from Masturbation and Hypersexuality published by Zimmer and Imhoff in the Archive of Sexual Behaviour in 2020. Link to the article in the show notes. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145784/ That basically summarises my perspective on it. Addiction in quotations where higher abstinence motivation is related to higher perceived impact of masturbation, related to conservatism, related to religiosity, and related to lower trust in science. The biggest argument they seem to struggle with is whether or not abstinence in men is healthy. This depends on a lot including the length of abstinence, and I'm not a doctor. However I did look up a paper. In “Sexual factors and prostate cancer” by Giles et al. published in the British Journal of Urology (JIF 5.588), men under 70 at diagnosis with prostate cancer as well as aged matched control subjects who did not have prostate cancer were asked about their masturbation habits each decade of their life. “There was no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners or with the maximum number of ejaculations in 24 hours. There was a negative trend (P < 0.01) for the association between risk and number of ejaculations in the third decade, independent of those in the fourth and fifth. Men who averaged five or more ejaculations weekly in their 20s had an odds ratio (95% confidence interval) of 0.66 (0.49-0.87) compared to those who ejaculated less often.” https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1046/j.1464-410X.2003.04319.x Those types of studies provide moderately strong evidence that if you get off at least five times a week in your 20s already, you may be the kind of person who is less likely to get prostate cancer than those who got off less than that during their 20s. It makes no claims about masturbation in one's 30s or 40s. All it all it seems prudent to ejaculate regularly if you have a penis and are in your 20s. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message

Today, Robin Beach from sexwithrobin.com talks metamours. She's a sex educator, radio host, former stripper, former dominatrix, and current mom. How do you relate to the partners of your partners? Is it like sibling rivalry? What does it mean if love is unlimited but time isn't? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intimate-interactions/message