Off the Deep End

“How can you harmonize with your business while being in capitalism?” A brilliant question posed by Chantel Chapman, co-founder of the Trauma of Money. In this episode Erin explores this question, and goes off the deep end about the VERY Saturnian nature of building a business, the highs and lows she's experienced, her own frustrations with entrepreneurship, the illustrious smoke and mirrors of the coaching industry, the bullshit that was peddled by the charlatan Tim Ferris about the 4-hour work week, and how we can take the pressure off ourselves to be “there” when the point is to be right *here.* Thank you to Sky Daddy Saturn for inspiring this episode and making a surprise appearance throughout! Erin briefly talks about the impact of the Saturn Return and your Christ Year for anyone who's an astrology nerd! Healing Through the Second House is OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT! Early bird goes until Friday, March 10th, 2023 at midnight CT! We start Wednesday, March 22, 2023 because the astrology is just so damn good! Follow Erin on Instagram Visit Erin's Website! Read Erin's Blog and her writing on Medium Book a Free Clarity Call with Erin! Free resource! Second House Reflection Guide! Follow Erin on Twitter Free workshop: How to Make Money When You Hate Capitailsm! Jessica Lanyadoo Ghost of a Podcast The Christ Year! And Your Saturn Return The New Yorker Article, in which Cal Newport Calls Tim Ferris Radical LOL Jacobin Article, "The Fraud and the 4-Hour Work Week" Time stamps are below! The reality of what it's like to build a business: 00:00-6:58 Building Terra Incognita Media for the last 8 years: 6:58-12:30 The marathon of entrepreneurship and the frustration of not being “there” yet: 12:31-27:15 The Smoke and Mirrors of the Coaching Industry: 27:16-29:19 Saturn and Your Business 29:20-32:16 The Coaching Industry Can Make Entrepreneurship Look Glamorous and It's Not 32:17-32:34 The Non-Linear Nature of Seaons and Cycles in Life and Business 32:35-38-35 Celebrity Astrologer, Chani Nicholas' So-Called “Late Blooming” 38:36-40:14 Does Not Making Millions Mean You're Not an Expert? 40:15-44:37 Inspiring Mentor and Co-Founder of Trauma of Money, Chantel Chapman's Experience with Feeling Like a Fraud Despite Her Expertise 44:38-46:49 Experts Experience Money Trauma Too: My Experience with Debt, Overspending, and Over-Giving 46:50-52:09 A Climbing Coach Who Can't Climb “Hard Stuff” is Still a Great Coach 53:10-56:21 Entrepreneurship is Not One-Size-Fits-All 56:22-58:27 The Bullshit of the 4-Hour Work Day and the Charlatan Tim Ferris 58:28-1:14:37 Did I Drink the Kool-Aid a Little Bit of the Elusive “There”? 1:14:38-1:17:55 Building a Business is an Expensive, Grueling, Marathon, and Building Community is Crucial 1:17:56-end

In this episode, your host, Erin Monahan, goes OFF THE DEEP END about the roots of psychoanalysis and how its ominous influence shows up in modern day marketing tactics that can put us in a trauma-triggered state. Get ready to learn the brief history of how “the father of public relations,” Edward Bernays, swiped his uncle's, Sigmund Freud's, research in order to promote wars and fuel consumerism. You'll also walk away with tangible tools to aid you in making more conscious and discerning money choices no matter if you're being bombarded with Black Friday FOMO deals or profusely sweating over the decision of whether or not you should buy that cute mug from Target. Time Stamps: Intro: 00:00-2:44 Acknowledging Thankstaking and We're STILL in a pandemic!: 2:45-7:16 Black Friday and Buyer's Remorse: 7:17-12:57 The History of Psychoanalysis, Edward Bernays, War Propaganda, and Consumerism: 12:58-23:40 Trauma and Systems of Oppression Impact our Reality: 23:41-24:50 The Two Undelete-able Apps in Our Brain and the Four Traps: 24:51-51:44 Outro: 51:45-54:18 Resources: Jolie Varela Indigenous Women Hike Trauma of Money The Century of Self Documentary Free! Learn about your window of regulation! Embodied Healing Strategies for Anti-Capitalist Entrepreneurs! Erin Monahan Instagram Erin Monahan Website Need deeper support? Book a Free Clarity Call

A rant about how exploitative climbing gyms are has always been coming it was just a matter of when I had the emotional energy. This is also a discussion about the false distinction between "unskilled" and "skilled" labor as if there is a difference, the myth of meritocracy, and how no matter what job you do everyone deserves a thriving, maximum wage. Some backstory: In Fall of 2014 I got a job at Planet Granite, now called Movement. This was at the height of my climbing obsession. I was also gradually becoming more outspoken about my values as I began diving deep into unlearning my conditioning under imperialist-white supremacist-capitalist-patriarchy as bell hooks called it. You know that phase where you start seeing oppressive power dynamics everywhere and you're like “what the fuck. My life has been one big lie”? I was in the middle of that. I had this naive belief that everyone aligned with my values. But quickly I found out this wasn't the case. I wrote an essay that called out and criticized the management that led to me being ostracized and gaslit. For years I attempted to have conversations with the managers about making the space more accessible to people who weren't just cis, white men. Of course, I wasn't the only one speaking up about this. PDX Climbers of Color has been doing the incredible labor of making Portland's climbing community safer and more welcoming for people of color, and removing barriers of access for marginalized folks. Today, I live and climb in so-called St. Louis, the traditional territories of the Osage, Miami, and Oceti Sakowin peoples. I have had so many conversations with the people who work at Upper Limits, a chain climbing gym here that markets itself as “local, family owned,” to make it sound more wholesome than it really is. Many climbing gyms will purport holding “community” values, especially after the 2020 Black Lives Matter movement protests took to the streets in unprecedented numbers, but when you look at the LACK of actions being taken things don't add up. A climbing gym membership is expensive as fuck. Employees are not paid living wages. The owners rake in excessive profit while staff go without healthcare, benefits, or sustainable income. I'm the girl at the climbing gym ranting about MAXIMUM WAGES and how if there's ever an organized strike I'll be there to protest alongside employees if they ever decide to. If you are in the so-called St. Louis area on Thursday evening, May 19th, 2022, come by Rise Coffee Shop in the Grove where I'll be doing free 15 minute mini readings! I'd love to connect with you in person and there will be live music! It will be so fun! Hope to see you there! Questions? Email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com  Connect with me on Insta @erin.k.monahan Learn more about my work, who I am, and what I offer at my website at ErinKMonahan.com

What's your biggest fear around being visible in your work? Are you afraid you're going to make a mistake? Are you afraid people aren't going to like you? Are you afraid of success because you're worried you won't be able to sustain it? Or are you afraid of failure, so you don't even try? In this episode I go into a discussion about the fear of visibility and the shame that often holds us back from expressing our fullest and most authentic self. The morning of this recording I asked spirit for a message we needed to hear that relates to this topic and out popped the 9 of pentacles, which is quite synchronistic - as to be expected! Here are some affirmations I shared in the episode: I take time to replenish and recharge throughout my day. I honor my natural cycles and trust I will be be supported and sustained. I find pleasure and ease in the daily, mundane rituals that make up the magic my life. It is safe to recognize and enjoy the wealth and abundance i cultivate. My efforts deserve celebration no matter how big or small they may seem to me. When i am replenished and full i can share the overflow with others and be of service. Reciprocity is a current that spirals out and back to me in a cyclical nature. I trust that what i put out and put in will come back to me. I generate limitless abundance on the condition that i take care of my material, physical body and i stay grounded and rooted in the daily, mundane chores of my life that assist me in cultivating the magic i'm called to manifest. Sign up for the free masterclass Embodied Entrepreneurship! Vesta Business School is open for enrollment from March 21st-April 31st! Vesta is my signature 12-week group coaching program that begins Thursday, April 7th, 2022 and goes until Thursday, June 23, 2022. Book your free Clarity Call here! Free resource: Embodied Healing Strategies for Anti-Capitalist Entrepreneurs

How might you be creating fantasies, scenarios, or playing into narratives that might not actually be true in an effort to avoid your own feelings? Jessica Dore, author of Tarot for Change, writes on an Instagram post with an image of the Seven of Cups, “...turning inward might feel scary at first because fantasizing about other people's feelings helps us avoid our own.” I sometimes find myself doing this without even realizing it. Often, this can be a trauma response or survival strategy where we think if we can predict what the other person is saying, thinking, or going to do next we'll be safe or we'll feel like we have some sense of control over the situation or outcome. It's Pisces season, so pulling the seven of cups reversed and King of Cups is quite timely because the cups represent water and our emotions. These cards actually speak to Scorpio energy, which is a water sign like Pisces. I believe this an invitation to ask ourselves how might we see more clearly the thought fantasies that we might be creating, maybe the projections we're engaging, and which ones do we want to give our energy to, and which ones do we want to let evaporate? When we can create discernment around our emotions, fantasies, and the reality of our experience we can cultivate congruence and resonance between what we think and believe, and our responses, choices, and actions. By allowing our emotions to flow, and by holding space to acknowledge and tend to our own desires, feelings, fears, and sensations, we become adept at being able to hold space for others' feelings to flow as well. Announcements and links: Get your early bird ticket for Healing Money Trauma 101! Sliding scale for Black folks can be found here! Interested in a scholarship? Email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com - no need to justify or explain just let me know you need financial assistance and we'll set you up! Subscribe to the newsletter! Connect with me on Instagram! Did you know I offer astrological money coaching? You can find out more about the Second House here and book your session here! Desire longer-term 1:1 support? Find out how you can work with me in this capacity here!

The fives are about chaos and restlessness. They're creative, but destabilizing. Conflict, change, growth, and movement are all par for the course when we pull this card. We're moving on from the fours which represent structure, stability, groundedness, and/or rest. After the fives come the sixes, which are all about harmony, cooperation, and realignment. The fives are this kind of in-between space of moving pieces and things shifting. The five of swords has a lot of wind and movement to it. The clouds are moving fast and jagged. This card could represent a struggle of some kind, confronting our perceptions, and/or learning to move through challenges. This card is inviting us to put down our armor, to release what we're struggling with maybe mentally or psychologically, and to confront the perceptions we have about whatever challenge it is we're facing. When it comes to business I know many of us struggle with the desire to be heard and seen, but not wanting to come across as self-absorbed. We struggle with wanting to make a sustainable income, but not wanting to come across as greedy and selfish. We perceive that making money is in direct conflict with our anti-capitalist values. This card is asking us to consider where is the struggle real? And when might our system be alerting us to a false alarm? Sometimes our minds can detect danger or threat when there isn't really an immediate danger or threat. The five of swords gives us an opportunity to ask are you afraid of success? Of having money? Of doing well for yourself? Are you afraid of gaining success and not being able to sustain it? Is there a voice that says you're not worth it, you don't deserve it, or you won't be able to keep the success? Listen in as we discuss this card and some lessons we can glean about anti-capitalist entrepreneurship and healing our money trauma. Get your early bird ticket for Healing Money Trauma 101! Sliding scale for Black folks can be found here! Interested in a scholarship? Email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com - no need to justify or explain just let me know you need financial assistance and we'll set you up! Subscribe to the newsletter! Connect with me on Instagram! Did you know I offer astrological money coaching? You can find out more about the Second House here and book your session here! Desire longer-term 1:1 support? Find out how you can work with me in this capacity here!

In this episode I go "off the deep end" about the stigma of taking medication, how "band-aids" can be helpful for coping, and how challenging it can be to heal and achieve embodiment while living inside systems of oppression and the ever-present threat of climate chaos. I wanted to share my process of deciding to take Lexapro in an effort to decrease the stigma of taking medication and of needing support for your pain, anxiety, or depression and that we're human beings living in inhumane times. It absolutely makes sense that we might need extra support while living through a pandemic (a collective trauma) on top of our more "everyday" stressors. This is a conversation about what we do when our old coping mechanisms and strategies maybe don't work anymore. As we grow, heal, evolve, or just as things change, we might find that we need to add or subtract tools from our healing toolbox. Unfortunately, for me, it's no longer sufficient to cry-scream to Taylor Swift songs and dissociate from the pain by creating false narratives, and throwing myself onto painfully difficult climbs that pushed me to unnecessary extremes. As I've healed I've found that I can no longer pour my angst, depression, and anxiety into obsessively climbing and over-working because that choice is fucking exhausting and unsustainable. So, listen in on how I move through and bear what feels unbearable at times and have moved into ways of coping that are better suited for my long-term mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and overall well-being. As always like, share, subscribe! If you'd like more in-depth support than you won't want to miss my upcoming workshop "Healing Money Trauma 101"! Early bird tickets are on sale now through February 6th. Sliding scale and scholarships are available for Black folks in an effort to acknowledge racialized capitalism. Email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com or find out more here. You can always DM me on Instagram if you have any feedback or questions too!

Shopping was a band-aid for me for a really long time. I was building Terra Incognita Media, navigating my 20s, nannying, and coming to terms with understanding my attachment to the construct of whiteness and I became depressed and anxious. Many times I would drop $200 on clothes at Nordstrom or Target in a subconscious internal frenzy of chasing dopamine. Some of us use substances, some of us go shopping, some of us exercise, some of us pour into our work, some of us meditate, some of us do yoga or breathwork. We might do all of these things. None of these things are morally superior than the another, but if we're finding that certain ways in which we cope are getting in the way of our long-term financial, emotional, spiritual health, or they're disrupting our personal and work relationships then we might want to pause and reassess. Shopping at Target used to give me an overwhelming HIGH. I found that my body would become instantly dysregulated when I walked through the automatic sliding doors (or insert any store you like to shop at). Reflecting on the visceral reactions happening in our bodies is important when it comes to making informed choices and healing. In this episode I talk all about the key to NOT overspending at Target, how capitalism preys on our mental, physical, and emotional well-being by convincing us that we need to buy more things, and what psychologists are calling “Compulsive Buying Disorder." Want deeper support around this? I'm hosting a live, online workshop called “Healing from Money Trauma 101” — get more details and snag your early bird ticket here! If you've ever thought to yourself... "If I had x amount of money I would be happy." "I can't seem to save my money or get out of my credit card/ student loan debt. I'm so bad with finances." "I hate capitalism and don't want to participate, but I need to pay my rent/mortgage and bills." "I want to feel abundant, but I feel so much anxiety, stress, and lack." ...Then this workshop was created with you in mind. Despite what you believe about your relationship with money and finances it is possible to cultivate financial and emotional well-being (they are intertwined). In this workshop you will learn... ✨Why standard mindset advice might not be working for you ✨How your nervous system impacts your relationship with money ✨How your attachment style plays a role in your daily habits and choices, and how you can become more secure, which will benefit the health of your long-term financial and emotional well-being ✨How our perception of ourselves and our money is often filtered through deep-seated shame and how shame is probably keeping you from what you most desire and how you can shift this ✨The key to cultivating emotional and financial well-being, so you can step into your purpose with confidence and clarity and invite in a sustainable, trauma-informed abundance mindset This will be a live, interactive workshop followed by a facilitated discussion and Q+A. Estimated length of workshop is 3 hours. The recorded replay will be in your email within 48 hours of the event ending if you can't make it live! This enrollment option is $55 for early-bird enrollment. Early-bird enrollment goes through Sunday, February 6th, 2022. Full cost of the workshop is $75 and will go up to that amount on Monday, February 7th, 2022. Connect with me on Instagram!

There's nothing inherently wrong, sub-par, or inferior about YOU. Let's get into how we can challenge these toxic imperialist, white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal (as bell hooks described it) scripts we've been given, rip them apart, and throw them in the trash where they belong. When we talk about imposter syndrome we have to take into consideration all of the dynamics, situations, and relationships in our lives that impact our sense of self and how we show up in the world. It's a mosaic of experience, (and sometimes these experiences are deep in our subconscious and bubble up unexpectedly), that leads us to internalizing the feeling of "imposter." Ultimately, "imposter," is a feeling of being an outsider, of not belonging to the group, and if you're someone challenging the group or societal norms of a space then you've probably experienced this kind of gaslighting. There are structures and systems in place to keep YOU in your place and to ensure that YOU continue playing your assigned role. This especially impacts those of us with marginalized genders and keeps us playing small. The more marginalized your identities the stronger the impact of so-called “imposter syndrome.” All of this feeds into internalizing this group othering and manifests as feeling not "good enough.” Maybe you have a deep desire to start a business, launch your course or services, but there's a voice in your head saying, “who do you think you are?” Healing imposter syndrome isn't an overnight process, but it is possible. The healing journey is very similar to healing our trauma of money. It starts by questioning the narrative: ✨Who's voice is it that tells you you can't or shouldn't do the thing? ✨What childhood experience might've contributed to these beliefs? ✨Where is the evidence in your life that affirms you are worthy and enough? ✨What can you give yourself that you maybe didn't receive as a child?

Your nervous system has a threat detector that is always scanning to determine if you're safe, in danger, or in life-threatening danger (this is called neuroception). Your system might be interpreting being visible online, announcing your biz to the world, writing your first blog post, creating your website, etc. as a threat. Maybe your system learned in the past that it wasn't safe to be your full-expressed self. Maybe your system learned that it couldn't take action unless it was given permission and affirmation from your caregiver. Your system is brilliantly trying to keep you safe. It hasn't yet learned that you are now a conscious adult who is safe to make autonomous choices and move towards what you most want. The failure of standard mindset work is that we can't just talk ourselves into taking action. So, you can gently show your nervous system (not tell) that you are safe now. This is where regulating your nervous system comes in, and taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. Also, coaching can be a regulating resource, or we might need help from a doctor, therapist, and/or medication for this. Maybe all of these things! Needing help is not shameful. It's human. We aren't meant to heal alone — in fact, we can't. In this new podcast episode I go off the deep end about the “Here and Now” Hormones, how they can help us manifest, how anxiety might get in the way of you accessing these hormones, what's happening in your body when you're experiencing anxiety, and also some things to help you to begin shifting this. You'll also hear me talk about my recent break up, my mental health, and my decision to take Lexapro to help me with my anxiety. Sending you all the new year and new moon blessings! May 2022 allow you to thrive, not just survive. P.S. if you listen to this episode and want to share your thoughts/insights/feedback feel free to share and tag me on social media! P.P.S. Also, Vesta Business School is now open for enrollment and if you're yearning to heal unhelpful, oppressive patterns and rewire your subconscious mind, so that you can show up in your fullest expression while creating an income — this is the program for you. It's 12 weeks of group and 1:1 coaching where you'll learn how to cultivate emotional, spiritual, and financial well-being. Being certified as a Trauma of Money facilitator means that this is a no spiritual bypassing zone

Are you overcompensating in your biz? In this chat I talk all about overcompensation, how this might show up in your life, why you might be doing it, and how this might be impacting your personal and sex life, as well as your relationship with money and business. Also, Vesta Business School is now open for enrollment and if you're yearning to heal unhelpful, oppressive patterns and rewire your subconscious mind, so that you can show up in your fullest expression while creating an income — this is the program for you. It's 12 weeks of group and 1:1 coaching where you'll learn how to cultivate emotional, spiritual, and financial well-being. Being certified as a Trauma of Money facilitator means that this is a no spiritual bypassing zone

Feeling overwhelmed and stuck as fuck? I often hear from folks that they simply don't know how to start building their business. Or they don't know what it feels like to do things without feeling stuck. Or they don't know what to do first and what to prioritize. I've been there and honestly, I feel stuck frequently in my business at times to this day. I'm not always just flowing and moving and thinking up brilliant creative words and ideas that I just easily and effortlessly put into action. OH NO. If you have felt frozen or paralyzed when it comes to planning or strategizing or taking a step whether it's towards your business goals, money goals, or relationship goals you're not alone. So many of my clients work with me because they need support when it comes to sifting through their ideas and figuring out what to prioritize. Maybe right now you're experiencing a ton of emotions that flood to the surface when you go to sit down and put action towards your writing project, or you want to write that email, or post on Instagram, or create an offering for your community, or you want to start selling your services in some way. I just want you to know that there's nothing wrong with you and you're not doomed if you're experiencing this. Listen and learn about How to Move Out Of Overwhelm and Take Action Towards Your Dreams! ALSO!! Another exciting announcement! I'm hosting a free workshop this upcoming Sunday, December 19th from 12pm CT - 1:30pm CT called How to Cultivate Safety with Visibility and Money so You Can Do the Work You're Meant to Do! I appreciate all the feedback you gave me in my Instagram stories and for those of you who voted! So many anti-capitalist entrepreneurs (healers, astrologers, tarot readers, writers, educators, musicians, craft sellers, jewelry makers, artists, consultants, facilitators, doulas of all kinds, outdoor guides of all kinds -- the list goes on!) have asked me how they can fulfill their purpose without feeling insecure, overwhelmed by self-doubt, guilty of charging money, and like they're falling into capitalist modes of operating, so they can show up clear, confident, and grounded in their life and work. So I'm putting on this free workshop for anti-capitalist, spiritual entrepreneurs who want to be confident, authentic leaders in their business and charge money for their work without shame. In this workshop you will learn: Why standard "mindset" advice might not be working for you How your nervous system impacts your ability to be visible in your work How to identify your "trauma of money" and begin to heal How your attachment style plays a role in your daily habits and choices Why shame might be keeping you from what you most desire How to create more emotional and financial well-being, so you can build the aligned business and life of your dreams with confidence and clarity Register for the free workshop here!

In this episode Erin goes off the deep end about how we can cultivate abundance while surviving a pandemic. We can acknowledge that we live in systems of oppression and capitalism sucks, and we still need money to survive and thrive. If you have icky feelings about money, and if you don't like talking about or having a relationship with your money, then it's going to be much harder to invite more money into your life. It's all too common for entrepreneurs with anti-capitalist, feminist values to give our money away leaving us in dire straits, or we end up running ourselves into the ground because we aren't charging enough for the value of our work. I love working with people who deeply care about the world and it's crucial to redistribute our income as much as possible, especially for us white people. But we need to have a better and more realistic understanding about our money, so that we can build sustainable businesses and futures for ourselves. If it's not sustainable for YOU, it's not sustainable for anyone. You won't be able to have the impact you're here to create if you're depleted. The goal of equity and justice is not to run yourself dry of your resources. When you're replenished and full, you can help others become replenished and full. It's a reciprocal and mutual relationship. If it's a one-way street then it's exploitative. My trauma of money showed up in the ways in which I was afraid to sell, in the ways I was afraid to talk about my work, and charge more for my work. My subconscious told me I couldn't trust myself with money and I was so afraid that money meant that I would become a greedy, money-hoarding asshole. So, if this resonates for you I encourage you to ask yourself, “What would it be like to trust yourself with money?” And listen to this episode and let me know if something shifts for you. Trauma-Informed Manifestation for Anti-Capitalist Entrepreneurs Billionaires are Unethical

When you're building your business you might find yourself in a position of feeling like you're upside down and you're wondering, "What the fuck am I doing?!" This is not a bad thing. This is quite a natural phase of your business growth, actually. We can look to the Temperance card for wisdom in this space. I pulled this card the other day and I've been reflecting on what it means to be in this energy of a chrysalis or cocoon in our business. This coincides with our first year of business, which is all about trial and error. Maybe you're at a point in your life and business where it feels like you're also deciding if a path you've been on is serving you or if you need to put it down and go down a different direction. Maybe a project, friendship, or aspect of your life or business is feeling like a failure. But just because something has changed, it no longer resonates with you, it feels like more of a burden now than before, and you feel like “giving up” on it, maybe it's not giving up. Maybe it's just that this thing has run its course. Sometimes we have to take ourselves into this space of radically re-imagining our lives because we get so tunnel vision in what we're experiencing in the now and what we've been dedicating ourselves to that we forget there are alternatives. We sometimes forget that we are co-creating our reality with the divine, or spirit, all the time. If you'd like more support on your journey you can book your free Clarity Call here. You can also check out: The Anti-Capitalist Business Blueprint (enrolling now and we start Monday, August 9th!) Trauma-Informed Manifestation for Anti-Capitalist Entrepreneurs Connect with your host, Erin Monahan: Instagram Twitter Follow Off the Deep End on Instagram and tell me what resonated most with you from this episode!

Are you feeling a big shift on the inside, yet the world around you and everything outside of you seems to be the same? I'm experiencing that right now in many ways, and have several times over the course of my entrepreneurial journey. As you move towards birthing your business and moving towards the life you most want to create for yourself, it's going to come with major internal transformations that might go unnoticed by those around you. But even if it goes unnoticed it will be FELT -- by you and those you're in relationship with. It's crucial to trust your vision, trust your voice, your truth, and your decisions, but this is difficult when we've been gaslit our entire lives under systems of oppression, and possibly by well-intentioned caregivers or friends who want the best for us, but might actually be holding us back. Moving towards the life and business you're dreaming of comes with immense grief because you have to shed layers of your conditioning, which means shedding an old and outdated version of yourself. It means coming back home to yourself too at the same time. It means integrating new lessons, and DISintegrating old ones that never really served you. Tune in this week to hear me chat all about breaking intergenerational patterns, re-negotiating relationship dynamics with caregivers that might be draining you, and how this can impact how you show up in your business, so you can start pouring more energy back into YOU. When you begin to refuse to play your assigned role because you realize it's keeping you small and shriveled, those around you might protest, get upset, or become confused. This can be a deeply isolating and lonely experience, but I promise that if you keep going you will find your people. More importantly, however, you'll find yourself and that's the biggest reward of doing this healing work in my opinion. Connect with your host, Erin Monahan: Instagram Twitter Follow Off the Deep End on Instagram and tell me what resonated most with you from this episode!

In this episode, I talk about how my Saturn Return impacted my entrepreneurial journey. I cover how I moved through my fears of rejection, my fears of failure, my fears of fucking up, and how I dedicated myself to my vulnerability and my authentic voice and leadership, and built Terra Incognita Media and became my own boss through coaching. I haven't always been an expert in writing, in showing up online, and putting myself out there, and using my voice. I talk about how it took dedication, slow growth, and intention for me to own my identity as an entrepreneur. I had so many hesitations towards using this word because I have always associated it with #girlboss aka hustle culture, capitalism, and white supremacy. But I've since expanded my definition of entrepreneurship and began following true, anti-capitalist role models who are also entrepreneurs. We can be anti-capitalist and an entrepreneur at the same time, and we don't need to do business the way it's always been done. We can be about collective liberation instead of solely about individualistic gain. I hope this episode gives you the encouragement you need to keep going, keep trusting your process, and keep your head up as you move towards your grand vision and goals. Anti-Capitalist Business Blueprint is now open for enrollment! We start August 9th! Trauma-Informed Manifestation for Anti-Capitalist Entrepreneurs is available now too! If you'd like to book a free clarity call with me if you're feeling stuck and need some help you can do so by clicking here.

This is the last full week of 2020. If you've worked on unlearning and learning, if you confronted trauma you didn't know was hiding under the floorboards, I'm so fucking proud of you. If you focused on your rest, and if you feel like all you could do was get through and get by, fuck yes, my friend. I'm proud of you. We are not machines despite what capitalism and white supremacy want us to believe. Have compassion and grace with yourself. Tomorrow, Monday, December 21, 2020 is the winter solstice, the sun moves into Capricorn, and it's the great conjunction. Every 20 years Saturn and Jupiter meet. This conjunction is influenced by these two planets meeting in the sign of Aquarius. Listen to this episode to hear how you can work with these seemingly opposing energies! If you are feeling stuck and burnt-out on your entrepreneurial journey then I encourage you to book a free clarity call with me. You can book your call on my website erinkmonahan.com. In this call we'll get crystal clear about what's got you stuck, so we can map of plan of action for you moving forward. If it feels like a good fit, at the end of the call I can chat with you about the options there are available for us to work together. I'm also extremely excited to share that not only did I graduate from my Saturn return last week, holy shit what a beautiful, chaotic mess, but I also graduated from the Trauma of Money facilitator program this last week! This has motivated and inspired me to start working diligently behind the scenes on creating a masterclass about all the things I learned when it comes to trauma-informed manifestation and healing our relationship with money. So stay tuned for this offering that will most likely launch in January! If you want to stay in the loop about all things #AntiGirlBoss Method and Feminist Killjoy Business School you can subscribe to the email list.

In this episode I go off the deep end about how I annoyed I am whenever I see people, particularly fellow white women, say “what's possible for them is possible for you.” This is just not true, it's harmful, dangerous, and can fuel comparison, anxiety, and depression. It also completely lacks an analysis of the impacts of white supremacy, patriarchy, and ongoing colonialism on our lives, businesses, and outcomes. I want to shout out Ericka Hart and Ebony Donnley for their incredible work that inspires me always and particularly this episode. Their podcast “From Hoodrat to Headwrap” is a wealth of information and I encourage you to listen and support. Their latest episode, "Our Election System is Based on 5 Black People Being Worth 3 White, But the US is Definitely a Democracy." I also discuss how therapy has helped me so much and how support for our mental, spiritual, physical, emotional, and psychological health is so important. I want to share Rachel Cargle's, The Loveland Foundation, for any Black women and girls who want accessible therapy. Also, Better Help is an option for accessible and affordable mental health services/therapy. If you'd like to chat with me and book a Clarity Call, please do it! I would love to connect with you. You can do that on my website: erinkmonahan.com AND finally, if you have any feedback, questions, or podcast episode requests feel free to email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com LOTS OF LOVE!!