Pure Desire Ministries

Register for the 2025 Summit Now!In today's episode, Bob Vander Meer and Heather Kolb join us to preview the upcoming Pure Desire Summit, sharing their excitement and insights about this year's event. With the theme "Anchored in Hope," they discuss how the Summit aims to foster connection, growth, and healing for attendees from all walks of life. We reflect on what sets the Pure Desire Summit apart from other events and discuss what we hope attendees will walk away with—both personally and professionally.They dive into how the theme of hope resonates with those who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior and those who have experienced betrayal, and highlight some of the key sessions that are sure to inspire and empower. For many people who attend the Summit, the impact is life-changing, becoming the catalyst for lasting recovery, healing, and transformation. GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this insightful episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares his expertise on sex addiction and betrayal trauma through the powerful lens of the theme Anchored in Hope. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and spiritual truth, Dr. Jake unpacks how understanding the brain's role in addiction and trauma can offer a renewed sense of hope to those feeling stuck in cycles of pain. He explores how couples can begin to rebuild trust after betrayal, and how healing attachment wounds leads to healthier, more secure relationships. Dr. Jake emphasizes the importance of integrating psychology, spirituality, and neuroscience for a holistic recovery journey. With practical steps and compassionate wisdom, he offers guidance for individuals and couples working to restore emotional and relational health. Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking deeper understanding, this conversation is rich with hope. Dr. Jake also shares why the Pure Desire Summit is a must-attend for anyone pursuing lasting healing and freedom.Resources:Register for Summit 2025 HereDr. Porter's Website Dr. Porter's Organization GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, Dr. Adrian Hickmon, founder of Capstone Treatment Center, shares his deep insights into the transformative power of hope in recovery, particularly for those struggling with addiction and trauma. Drawing on his firsthand experience, he explores how hope anchors individuals, helping them rediscover purpose and faith amidst emotional pain. Adrian sheds light on how people can break free from the shame and guilt tied to their struggles, offering a path to healing and lasting change. He also tackles common misconceptions about recovery and emphasizes the importance of a holistic approach that integrates faith, emotional healing, and practical skills for lasting transformation. With a focus on grace and identity, Adrian offers valuable advice for counselors and ministers supporting those in recovery. He highlights the significance of attending the Pure Desire Summit, sharing how it provides a space for attendees to gain new insights and tools for helping others.Resources:Register For Summit 2025Adrian's New BookCapstone Wellness The Body Keeps The ScoreThe Urge: Our History of Addiction  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this powerful and deeply compassionate episode, Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer joins us to explore the theme Anchored in Hope—a lifeline for those navigating the stormy waters of sexual betrayal, trauma, and addiction. With wisdom drawn from years of walking alongside individuals in pain, Dr. Sheri unpacks how rediscovering our true identity in Christ fosters self-awareness, ignites healing, and grounds us in a hope that endures—even when it feels out of reach.We dive into practical steps for reconnecting with hope during the darkest moments, how to support loved ones in their recovery without minimizing their experience, and what it looks like to break free from cycles of shame and brokenness. Dr. Sheri also shares stories of powerful transformation and trust restored through the choice to hope again.Whether you're on a healing journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers rich encouragement and insight—and a compelling reason to attend the upcoming Pure Desire Summit.Resources:Register For The 2025 Summit Now!Dr. Sheri's WebsiteDr. Sheri's Book  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dive into the world of neurodivergence and its unique connection to addiction and recovery. Our guest, Jenna Riemersma, shares insights into what neurodivergence means and offers examples of behaviors that may be seen in neurodivergent individuals. We explore the specific challenges they face when dealing with addiction and recovery, and how mental health stigma can impact their journey. We also discuss the concept of self-regulation and its relationship to addictive behaviors, as well as the importance of neurodiversity education in addiction recovery settings. We provide practical strategies for managing recovery and how family and friends can better support neurodivergent individuals. Resources:Jenna's WebsiteSarah BergenField's WebsiteHelp Her HealEmbrace AutismAutism In The Adult PodcastIs This Autism?Association For Autism & Neurodiversity  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we delve deep into the intersection of mental health, trauma, and unwanted sexual behavior, exploring how our past experiences shape our present struggles. Our guest, Jay Stringer, shares powerful insights into the connection between unresolved wounds and their impact on mental health, offering practical guidance on how to approach healing with curiosity instead of self-condemnation. We discuss the importance of understanding our stories, how attachment theory influences our relationships and mental health, and how faith can play a pivotal role in the healing process.We'll explore why it's crucial to focus on the "why" behind behaviors, rather than simply trying to stop them, and how to break free from unhealthy patterns that keep us stuck. With compassion and curiosity at the core of the conversation, Jay offers valuable advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed in their healing journey, helping them take their first practical steps toward mental wellness.ResourcesJay's WebsiteJay's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dig into the intersection of pornography use, social media, and mental health, exploring how these modern influences are shaping our perceptions of intimacy, relationships, and self-worth. We discuss how most people's journey with porn typically begins, early signs that it's negatively affecting mental health, and how social media plays a significant role in fueling these behaviors.Our conversation addresses common mental health challenges linked to problematic porn and social media use, such as anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues. We explore how these habits can distort a person's understanding of relationships and sexuality, and the shame and guilt that often accompany these struggles, exacerbating mental health issues.We discuss the underlying personality traits that make someone more vulnerable to using porn or social media as coping mechanisms, and the role isolation plays in worsening emotional distress. We offer practical advice on how to recognize when porn and social media use are negatively impacting mental health and relationships, and the first steps toward healing and recovery.Resources:Parent Training CourseYouth Leader LibraryBen's WebsiteBen's PodcastBen's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith and mental health with Dr. Carol Tanksley who has dedicated their life to helping others heal from fear, anxiety, grief, and more. We'll talk about the Church's role in addressing mental health struggles, unpack common misconceptions Christians hold about anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, and discuss how believers can distinguish between spiritual battles and mental health issues. This conversation highlights the importance of creating safe spaces within the Church for those struggling with mental health, the role of community in the healing process, and offers powerful encouragement for those feeling hopeless in their battle with mental health challenges.Resources:Dr. Carol's WebsitePure Desire ToolsGenesis Process GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dive into the topic of biblical sexuality with Rodney Wright. We discuss his passion for addressing this often-overlooked issue and why the conversation around biblical sexuality is “dead” in many churches today. Exploring beyond the simple “sex is for marriage” approach, we discuss how we can recover a more holistic, biblical understanding of human sexuality in a modern context. Rodney shares insights on balancing sexual holiness with compassion for those struggling with brokenness, the role of marriage in God's design, and how the resurrection of Jesus brings renewal to both our sexuality and community. Plus, we preview how churches can better support singles in embracing biblical sexuality. Tune in for an enlightening and thought-provoking conversation!Resources:Unlocking The Bibles Wisdom on Addiction The Theology Of Addiction Parent Training CourseParent Training Course TrailerSexual Integrity 1017 Pillars of Freedom GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dig into the often overlooked intersection of singleness and sexuality, exploring how we can resurrect a healthier, more holistic view of both. We discuss the importance of stewarding sexual desire with integrity, especially in a culture that promotes instant gratification and casual relationships. Our guests share their personal stories of God's redemptive work in their sexuality during their single years and offer insights on how the church can better support and value singles. We also explore the difference between sexuality and sensuality and how to hold space for both desire and disappointment with hope and faith.Resources:'Unwanted' by Jay Stringer GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

DescriptionIn this raw and vulnerable episode, Mike and Megan Ramirez share their powerful journey of rediscovering hope and redemption in their marriage after hitting rock bottom. They take us back to the moment of discovery, revealing how a devastating truth almost ended it all. Through heartache, denial, and moments of deep despair, they walk us through their process of healing, the critical steps they took to save their marriage, and the people who played pivotal roles in their transformation.They reveal how God turned their darkest days into milestones of redemption, transforming what was once a marriage on the brink of collapse into a thriving partnership. They share the daily habits, mindset shifts, and lessons learned that have helped them rebuild and sustain their bond, offering practical insights on how to keep a marriage strong. GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In today's episode, we sit down with Dr. Curt Thompson to explore the complex relationship between anxiety, trauma, and the stories we tell ourselves. We discuss how feelings of anxiety and aloneness are intertwined, how trauma affects the brain, and the powerful role of secure relationships and community in healing. Dr. Thompson also shares practical steps for understanding and moving through anxiety, breaking free from isolation, and reconnecting with others and with God. Plus, we dive into the impact of spiritual practices like prayer and Scripture meditation in calming the mind and grounding us in peace. Don't miss this enlightening conversation!Resources:Dr. Curt's WebsiteDr. Curt's BooksThe Center For Being Known GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this impactful episode, we sit down with Pastor Andrew Rothrock of Riverbend Church in Bend, Oregon, to explore what it means to create a church culture that actively supports sexual health and healing. Riverbend is setting a powerful example by making recovery from compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal trauma a visible and valued part of their ministry.We talk with Andrew about why their church made sexual wholeness a key discipleship focus, how they've integrated Pure Desire groups into the life of their community, and the incredible transformation they're seeing in both individuals and marriages.From reducing shame to developing future leaders, this episode is full of encouragement for churches and pastors who want to lead with grace and truth in this vital area.Resources:Church ToolkitOrder ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!Andrews Church GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Jasmine Marino, Founder and Director of Jasmine Grace Outreach, to discuss their life-changing work helping survivors escape sex trafficking and begin their recovery journey. From providing tailored recovery support groups to offering essential mentoring and coaching, Jasmine Grace Outreach goes above and beyond to empower individuals who have experienced both sexual exploitation and addiction. We dive into the challenges the organization faces, the unique needs of survivors, and how they work to raise awareness about the links between addiction, pornography, and trafficking.Resources:Jasmine Grace OutreachJasmine's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this eye-opening episode, we're joined by Lisa Thompson, Vice President of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation's Research Institute. We delve into the complex and often misunderstood connection between pornography and sexual exploitation. We explore how the consumption of porn fuels industries that profit from human trafficking and exploitation, and the psychological, relational, and societal consequences of widespread pornography use. We discuss the legal gaps that allow these harms to persist, and what policies need to change to protect vulnerable individuals.We also tackle the role of social media and mainstream platforms in spreading exploitative content and the accountability measures that should be in place. Parents and caregivers will gain insight into the significant impact pornography has on children and teens, with practical advice on how to safeguard their well-being.Resources:Get The Barna Report NCOSE Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this eye-opening episode, we dig into the complexities of the adult entertainment industry, shedding light on the personal stories often hidden behind its glitzy façade. Rey Jordan, a counselor with experience working with individuals in the industry, shares her insights on the real-life struggles that lead people to seek counseling and the trauma that shapes their experiences.We discuss the pathways many women take into the adult industry, the societal narratives that fail to reflect their true stories, and the ways in which pain and trauma shape their journeys. This conversation challenges the popular belief that adult performers are simply making a "choice," and explores the damaging cultural assumptions that perpetuate this mindset.The conversation touches on how the public's view of pornography and the adult industry could change if people understood the deeper realities behind it. We discuss how people in recovery can use their healing to create positive change, and offer advice for those wanting to make a difference in the lives of those affected by the adult entertainment industry. Tune in for a powerful discussion that will change the way you think about these difficult issues.  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today we're celebrating episode 400 of the Pure Desire Podcast! So we did things a little differently. We talk through the most memorable episodes, the most surprising guests, and Nick's most unique opening song. We also share a couple testimonies from listeners personally impacted by the podcast. Then, we mix things up by doing a listener's Q&A. We answer questions about: lying during the recovery process; why sexually acting out feels so personal to the betrayed partner; what the Superhero's Odyssey revealed; how to equip the Church to reach teens; and more.   GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we tackle the challenging yet crucial topic of reintegrating sex into a marriage after betrayal. Rebecca Vander Meer and Traci Wright, two Pure Desire Clinicians, share why this is such a struggle for many couples and the common mistakes that can hinder progress. From rushing the process to overlooking emotional intimacy, we explore what couples can do to overcome these obstacles. The conversation also highlights key strategies that successful couples use—such as open communication, mutual respect, and taking things step by step—to rebuild a healthy and fulfilling physical connection. Join us for an honest and insightful discussion on navigating this sensitive journey together. GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we delve into the emotional journey of couples healing from betrayal. We're joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and authors, who share insights from their work on the Intimacy Pyramid—a framework designed to help couples rebuild trust, connection, and intimacy after a betrayal. We explore the different stages of healing, from honesty and emotional safety to full intimacy, and how this process varies for betraying spouses, betrayed partners, and the couple as a whole. We discuss common roadblocks couples face and how they can overcome them. Matthew and Joanna offer practical steps couples can take right now to start healing, as well as encouragement for anyone who feels stuck or hopeless on their journey to restoration.Resources:The Raabsmith's WebsiteFREE 30 Day Honesty Guide  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our present relationships? Dan also discusses how shame, judgment, and resentment hinder intimacy, and how Christians can use therapeutic skills to foster connection. Join us for an enlightening conversation on love, vulnerability, and healing.Resources:The Allender CenterThe Deep Rooted Marriage GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of "rupture and repair" in parenting with expert Dr. Jake Porter. As a featured expert in the Parent Training Course, he unpacks the crucial role this process plays in building stronger, more resilient relationships between parents and children.We explore what happens when emotional ruptures occur—whether through misunderstandings, miscommunication, or outbursts—and how parents can recognize when their child feels disconnected or hurt. Dr. Jake shares practical insights on how to approach repair with vulnerability, empathy, and emotional presence, offering concrete strategies for parents navigating the complexities of connection and healing.Tune in for actionable advice, relatable stories, and expert wisdom on fostering deeper bonds with your children through the process of rupture and repair.Resources:Get Our New Parent Training CourseDaring VenturesDr. Jake Porter's WebsiteDr. Jake Porter's Youtube ChannelDr. Jake Porter's Instagram  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we tackle one of the most pressing concerns for parents today: protecting children from the dangers of pornography. Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, shares her inspiration behind writing the book and her mission to help parents guide their young children through the complexities of online content in a way that is age-appropriate and effective.We discuss the concept of "porn-proofing" children, which was explored in Pure Desire's new Parent Training Course, and why it's more crucial than ever for parents to take an active role in safeguarding their kids from harmful material.With many parents feeling overwhelmed by the task of guiding their children through the digital landscape, Nick, Heather, and Kristen provide practical advice on how to approach these tough conversations with confidence, compassion, and love. Whether you're just starting to think about these issues or are already deep in the process of "porn-proofing" your children, this episode offers essential tools and insights for every parent in today's digital age. Resources:Parent Training CourseKristen's OrganizationGet 'Good Pictures Bad Pictures'DYM on FBDYM on LinkedInFREE Counseling Consultation GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Join us as we explore the intersection of faith and sexual health education, with expert insights from Dr. Glen Maiden on how to approach teaching children about sex from a biblical perspective. As a biblical sexual health educator, Dr. Glen shares how to approach this sensitive topic with children in a way that honors faith-based values while promoting healthy, balanced views of sexuality.We discuss how to introduce sexual health teachings to children, both from a practical and scriptural standpoint, and how biblical principles can shape these conversations. We discuss how parents can break free from unhealthy or shame-based approaches to sexuality, especially if they grew up in environments where sex was stigmatized or misunderstood.You'll learn how to talk about sex in a way that avoids instilling shame or fear, and instead, encourages healthy, respectful attitudes toward their bodies and relationships. For parents who feel uncertain or overwhelmed by these conversations, this episode offers compassionate advice on how to approach the subject with confidence and grace.Resources:Dr. Glen's WebsiteHope XP App On Google Play StoreParent Training CourseParent Training Trailer GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In today's episode, we dive deep into one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics for parents: talking with your kids about sex. We're joined by Rodney and Traci Wright, authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and the primary speakers in Pure Desire's new Parent Training Course. We tackle key issues like how to address our own sexual health as parents, the challenges of today's media landscape, and how to adjust these conversations as children grow. We also discuss common fears parents have, such as whether talking about sex too early might encourage risky behavior—and why, in fact, it can help prevent it. This conversation goes beyond the biology of sex and emphasizes the emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects that are just as critical to discuss with kids. You'll hear how trust plays a crucial role in keeping the lines of communication open and what parents can do if they've missed early opportunities to talk about sex.Resources:Full Episode on YoutubeParent Training Course Parent Training Course TrailerRodney & Traci's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching boundaries, addressing purity culture's impact, or fostering open and respectful conversations, this episode equips you to build healthier relationships and a stronger foundation of faith. Perfect for parents, mentors, and anyone committed to shaping a future of integrity and connection, this discussion encourages you to approach these challenges with wisdom and grace. Resources:Full Episode on YoutubeShe Deserves BetterSheila's Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Happy New Year's Eve! In this special year-end episode, host Nick Stumbo and guest co-host Heather Kolb dive into the value of self-reflection as we close out one year and prepare for the next. Whether you're in the middle of a recovery journey, pursuing personal growth, or simply looking for practical ways to start the new year with purpose, this episode has something for you.Nick and Heather discuss why self-reflection is vital, not just at the end of the year but throughout our lives. They explore how pausing to look back can help us uncover insights about ourselves, our relationships, and our faith, and how those insights can inform our steps forward. Learn practical tips for identifying priorities, setting achievable goals, and inviting God and others into the process.Tune in for practical wisdom, heartfelt encouragement, and a few laughs as we look back on the past year and step boldly into 2025.Resources:Full Episode On Youtube GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Resources:Full Episode on YoutubeUnwanted by Jay Stringer  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and the Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, joins the podcast today to wrap up an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Sam explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Full Episode On YoutubeOrder ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!'Barna WebsiteSam's BookCovenant EyesCovenant Eyes Resources  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

According to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, women are 3x more likely to say porn use of a partner makes them feel that their spouse doesn't care about them. Dr. Barbara Steffens helps break down why porn use connects so acutely to the relationship for women, shares advice you would give to create change, and why pornography use by one spouse is not a marriage issue but rather an issue that impacts and wounds the marriage. Dr. Barbara Steffens, the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists.Resources:Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!'Barna WebsiteGet Dr. Barb's BookDr. Barb's WebsiteAPSATS Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, joins the podcast today in part 6 of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon. Carol helps us unpack some of the specific stats that impact relationships and gives insight into how the church can support betrayed partners. Nick, Ashley, and Carol discuss how this research can raise awareness, spark new conversations, and guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode exploration into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Carol's WebsiteCarol's BooksOrder ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!'Barna Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In part five of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we're joined by Crystal Renaud Day. She is the CEO and Founder of Living on Purpose, as well as the Founder and Executive Director of SheRecovery. Crystal joins the podcast today to share her insights on the new data on pornography use, its impact on young women who struggle, and how this equips the Church to be a safe place for healing. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Crystal explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and providing real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report. Crystal's WebsiteOrder ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!'Barna Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In part four of our deep dive into the Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we're joined by Dr. Sean McDowell to discuss the subtle dangers of denial and rationalization around pornography within Christian communities. Dr. McDowell shares insights from his years of research and experience in helping the church engage with this difficult topic. We address questions around why so many feel “comfortable” with their struggles, the vital role of recovery ministries, and how the church can create a compassionate, welcoming space for true transformation. Join us for a conversation that sheds light on a subject too often left in the shadows. Dr. Sean McDowell is a renowned professor, author, apologist, and a contributing voice to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon.Resources:Sean's YoutubeSean's WebsiteThink Biblically PodcastOrder ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!'Barna Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Dr. Juli Slattery a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, joins the podcast for part three of our series looking at the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Juli explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.Resources:Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon' Java With Juli PodcastAuthentic Intimacy WebsiteBarna Website  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Daniel Copeland, Senior Lead Researcher of Barna Group, joins the podcast today for the second episode in our 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Full Episode Video (YouTube)Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon'Barna Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

David Kinnaman, CEO of Barna Group, joins the podcast today to help kick off an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, with Nick Stumbo and Ashley Jameson, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon'Barna Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Jenna Riemersma is back again to explore why true healing goes beyond sobriety. This is a deep dive into the role of trauma and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy addresses underlying issues that drive compulsive behaviors. Whether you're new to recovery or looking to deepen your healing journey, Jenna's insights will offer fresh perspectives on understanding and embracing the parts of ourselves that carry pain and shame. Don't miss this powerful conversation on moving beyond mere behavior change to experiencing true transformation.Resources:Jenna's WebsiteJenna's Book, Altogether YouFree Meditation AppFREE Pure Desire Counseling Consultation GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Jeanne Vittoni is the president of APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) and joins the podcast to discuss the vital role of partner care in sex addiction recovery. With over 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors, Jeanne unpacks how understanding trauma symptomatology, setting up safe support systems, and getting proper training can accelerate the healing process.Jeanne shares her insights on trauma recovery for betrayed partners, why it's important to address both the addict's and the partner's healing, and how proper trauma care can transform a relationship. Whether you're a struggling addict, a betrayed partner, or a professional wanting to offer better support, this episode will provide valuable strategies for navigating the road to recovery together.Resources:Full Episode On YoutubeAPSATS WebsiteAPSATS PodcastYour Sexually Addicted Spouse BookBetrayal Trauma Religious Leaders (BTRL) TrainingFREE Pure Desire Counseling Consultation  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Nick is joined by Robert Vander Meer and Matt Wenger to discuss the transformative impact of two-week intensives on sexual addiction recovery. This episode is a deep dive into the TINSA model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) exploring how intensives help uncover the "why" behind addiction and the importance of addressing both personal trauma and relational healing.Matt Wenger is the Clinical Director of Boulder Recovery in Boulder, Colorado.ResourcesFull Episode on YouTubeBoulder Recovery website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today's guest, Dr. Sheri Keffer, is the author of Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, a therapist, and betrayed partner herself.Dr. Keffer shares insights on betrayal trauma, healing, and recovery. This episode offers hope and guidance for those facing betrayal or compulsive sexual behaviors. The discussion covers the impact of sexual deception, the importance of truth-telling, and practical steps for partners to rebuild their lives. ResourcesFull Episode On YoutubeIntimate Deception: Healing The Wounds Of Sexual BetrayalFREE MONTH Of Brave One CommunityBetrayal Recovery RoadmapBrave One Recommended ResourcesFREE Pure Desire Counseling Consultation GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Nick and Rodney sit down with Pastor Ryan Oletzke of True Hope Church in Spokane, Washington, to discuss how to start Pure Desire groups in your church, break shame, and build a culture of honesty.Ryan shares how his church addressed sexual brokenness by launching Pure Desire groups, starting with over 200 people participating in Sexual Integrity 101. He offers practical insights on building a culture of vulnerability, lowering shame, and leading a church to find healing and freedom.This episode is a must-listen for pastors and church leaders looking to make a real impact in their communities by addressing sexual health and recovery.RESOURCESFull Episode On YoutubeTrueHope WebsiteBarna Report LinkHow to Start Pure Desire Groups brochure.Parent Training CourseSexual Integrity 101 GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

This episode explores the challenges young people face today, including mental health issues, pornography, and the impact of growing up in the digital age.Ben Bennett, leader of the Resolution Movement, shares his experience connecting with Gen Z through social media and offering hope, freedom, and healing through the message of Christ. Join Nick Stumbo, John Begeman, and Ben as they discuss how curiosity, compassion, and authentic relationships can help guide this generation toward healthy sexuality and mental well-being.ResourcesFull Episode on YouTube  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today, we're welcoming Louie Kazemier to the podcast. Louie is a longtime friend of Pure Desire and opens up about confronting childhood trauma, overcoming resistance to group therapy, and finding freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. His story is a testament to the power of vulnerability, community, and God's grace in the healing process.Whether you're on your own recovery journey or supporting someone else, this episode offers hope and encouragement. Tune in to hear Louie's inspiring story of transformation.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pillars of FreedomThe Compassionate Warrior GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today, Nick Stumbo and Rich Moore explore 10 common mistakes churches make when launching recovery groups. They share practical advice on avoiding pitfalls like isolating or shaming language and the dangers of a quick-fix approach. This episode is essential for pastors and leaders looking to create and sustain effective, long-lasting recovery groups within their church community.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today, we're diving into a topic that is often overlooked but crucial to the healing and recovery process—empathy and emotional awareness. We'll explore the importance of developing empathy, not just for yourself but within relationships, especially in the context of recovery from addiction and healing from betrayal. Through personal stories, practical advice, and proven tools, we'll discuss how empathy can be a game-changer in reversing isolation, breaking addiction, and fostering deeper, healthier connections. Whether you're in recovery, supporting a loved one, or simply looking to improve your relationships, this episode offers valuable insights into building empathy and emotional resilience.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, Marnie Ferree, the founder of Bethesda Workshops, courageously shares her journey of healing from sexual abuse and addiction, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on a similar path. This powerful conversation highlights the importance of understanding your story, embracing God's redemptive power, and finding support in the healing process. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today Nick and Rodney discuss powerful insights on how to approach the conversation around sexuality in the church with love and grace. They emphasize the importance of sharing your personal journey without shame, offering support to church leaders, and fostering a more open and healing environment.Whether you're a church leader or a congregation member, this episode provides practical advice on creating positive change in your community. Discover how to engage in meaningful conversations that lead to transformation.Don't forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review to help others start their healing journey.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

God has the ability to redeem even the darkest times.Dr. Steffens takes a deep dive into the healing and recovery process following betrayal—focused mostly on the betrayed partner but also on how the betrayer can help the process. You will be encouraged and gain hope for the future! There is a proven path and essential tools for healing and growth, when we invite God to do what only He can do: REDEEM.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Recovery doesn't have to feel like solitary confinement.As with many areas of our lives, we need others to walk alongside us, to encourage and support us. And this is especially true when it comes to our recovery and healing journey. Today we're revisiting Nate Larkin's session from the 2023 Pure Desire Summit to learn what it looks like to redefine recovery as a team sport. In community is where recovery happens best.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

The moment of discovery in a marriage or relationship is crushing. The exposure of sexual addiction or unfaithfulness wrecks the relationship. Is there any hope to rebuild? Should we even rebuild? On today's episode, we're joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician). Traci knows firsthand the damage the discovery of sexual betrayal does. But she also knows the healing power of Jesus and walking a recovery and healing journey. With Traci's help, we talk through what it looks like to rebuild our lives after discovery.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)Pure Desire Online GroupsInternational Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP)Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)Pure Desire Summit GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Vicki and Johnny Greenfield are legends in the Pure Desire community! Today, we get to hear their story of healing. Starting with how sexuality was discussed in their homes, moving to sexual brokenness and how it entered their lives, and then moving to how God healed them and their marriage—their story is powerful! Not only will you be encouraged by their story of healing, but you will be inspired by how God is using them in their heart to help other hurting couples. Enjoy the Greenfield's story—it's incredible!RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)Pure Desire Online GroupsInternational Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP)Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)Pure Desire Summit GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Today's episode addresses a listener's question—how to manage betrayal triggers. Most of us are aware of triggers for those struggling with addictive or compulsive sexual behavior. But are there such a thing as betrayal triggers? The answer is an emphatic YES! Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss what betrayal triggers are, how to identify them, how to bring healing to them, and what couples can do to help each other navigate triggers.RESOURCESFULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)BETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN'S BETRAYAL RESOURCE)BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPSPURE DESIRE COUNSELINGRELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (3 CIRCLES TOOL)ASSOCIATION OF PARTNERS OF SEX ADDICTS TRAUMA SPECIALISTS GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)