Podcast appearances and mentions of joyce penner

*Disclaimer: This topic is not intended for young listeners. Please use discretion.   Maximize PLEASURE in Marriage by Understanding Your Wife Better: An Interview with Francie Winslow (Episode 294)   Proverbs 5:19b NLT “May you always be captivated by her love.”   *Transcription Below*   Francie Winslow is a wife, mom, and intimacy evangelist. Three fun facts about Francie:   NO. 1 I saw a glimpse of Jesus' heart one day as a 19-year-old, when I sat in a Thai brothel with girls my age. My friend and I bought two girls for the night so we could take them to dinner and shower them with REAL LOVE. It was there that I realized there was nothing more that I wanted than to give God all of me.   NO. 2 I got married when I was 20, after knowing my husband for only 10 months, and dating him for less than 5 months. Total craziness, I know, but so clearly the way God was leading me.   NO. 3 My husband and I have 6 kids, some with special needs and chronic health issues. So yeah, life right now is a bit crazy. But it never lacks for excitement as I learn about the things they really need and how God is working in me as I serve my family in every season.   Francie's Website   Follow along with her @franciewinslow   Thank you to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Questions and Topics We Cover: As moms, how do we go from “touched out” to “turned on”? How can we realistically choose to still prioritize connection, right in the middle of the busy? After diving into this topic for many years, will you share what you have learned about orgasm?   Other Savvy Sauce Episode Mentioned: 4. Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life With Your Spouse With Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen 7. Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage With Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner 63 Maximizing Sexual Enjoyment During the 3 Most Challenging Seasons in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner 252. Maximizing Sexual Connection as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 2:05) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage, while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org slash savvy.   I'm so excited to welcome back my returning guest, Francie Winslow. This conversation is going to be geared a little bit more toward understanding women, but I want you to know it's going to be very beneficial for both husbands and wives. I think husbands are going to appreciate getting a glimpse into how their wife's body works, and how they can love them better and serve them, even in the bedroom, so that they can enjoy a more fulfilling sex life with you as their spouse.   And for wives, I believe you're going to appreciate your feelings or your vague thoughts being put into words, because Francie has this way of articulating big ideas and making them bite-sized and understandable through all of her wisdom. So, not everything will apply to every wife, but I hope that everyone gets to find encouragement and enjoy a deeper sexual connection with your spouse after listening to this message and applying the wisdom.   Here's our chat. Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Francie.   Francie Winslow: (2:05 - 2:07) It's so good to be here, thanks for having me.   Laura Dugger: (2:07 - 2:20) Well, I'd love to begin with this idea of sharing sparks, because I was so intrigued the first time that I heard you teach on this topic. So, can you just explain more about this concept?   Francie Winslow: (2:22 - 5:56) Sure. Well, I think the idea really just came from this experience that my husband and I have had of knowing that, kind of in movies, it's portrayed that romance is just always fiery and passionate, and then you get married, you have kids, real life sets in, and it's like, hey, what does this actually look like to have a sex drive or to have a sense of passion in your marriage? And just for some context, because I think context helps, I have six kids from 18 down to 7, some pretty significant special needs, autoimmune diseases.   We've got a lot packed into our little home. And so, then you have a marriage that you want to stay on fire, you want to stay growing, but life is full, life is hard. And so, it's just easy to feel like the fire's just gone out.   And my husband and I work really hard on intentionality in our sex life, and we kind of came up with this idea called sparks, because sometimes that's all you have, is like a tiny spark, and that's actually okay. You think about a campfire, really what you need is you just need a spark, and then you just need to blow on it a little bit, and it turns into embers and then can turn into a fire. And so, we talk about rather than like, I've lost my sex drive, or do you have high sex drive or low drive, kind of releasing that concept and the heaviness that can be around that concept and just talk about cultivating sparks.   And a spark is essentially just a bit of desire, a bit of arousal, a bit of attraction, and we can kind of be so busy in our day that we might have a fleeting thought of, oh, it would be nice to be together tonight, and then you just forget about it. But rather than having a fleeting thought or a sensation in your body and letting it pass, we talk about sharing our sparks. And so, we'll, if I have a thought of, hey, I'm thinking about your biceps today, you know, like something playful and fun, and how much I am attracted to you, I'll text it to him or he'll text it to me.   Or if we're in person, we'll share our sparks by, you know, grabbing each other and pulling each other into the pantry for a second, having a little makeout or having a little, you know, quick, playful petting session, and we're just being playful for 30 seconds here, 30 seconds there in the middle of real life. And it's a way to say, hey, I'm bringing my little spark, you're bringing your little spark, and we're doing, honestly, the best we can in the, in the midst of real life in the midst of real hard to keep our fire going. And it is amazing the impact that that's had on our marriage, because it's just easy to assume, we're just too tired.   And then days go by weeks go by and, and really roommate, the roommate rut sets in or disconnection or even pain because you begin to miss each other. And it feels hard to get reconnected. So, we've found it to be really beneficial and simple just to say, okay, if I have a fleeting feeling in my body, a little sensation, a little attraction, a little arousal, a little desire, a little flirtatious energy, I'm just gonna express it as quickly or as sincerely as I can in that moment.   Like I said, sometimes it's through text, sometimes it would be a quick phone call, hey, you know, I'm thinking about you tonight, or, you know, playfully, like, what are you wearing, or like a text a little, a little invitation to connection later. And it's those little things that make a really big difference. And I would say the physical things, especially like grabbing each other, hey, we'll say to our kids, mom and dad need to have a quick conversation, like real serious, and then we'll go to the laundry room or go to the pantry.   And it's just those literal 30 second exchanges that are so small that make a really big difference in keeping the fire going in our marriage. And it's super meaningful, especially in these really busy seasons.   Laura Dugger: (5:58 - 6:21) I love that because you've also pointed out, I think, in the past that you don't buy into the whole who has high libido, who has lower drive. Rather, you see it as energy that can be fostered. And also, then just that connection of we have the spark, but then sharing it, it can ignite faster.   So, anything else you'd like to add about?   Francie Winslow: (6:22 - 9:35) Yeah, I think that's good to bring it up. I mean, a spark is like a bit of energy. And if you think about like a spark of fire, like that creates something and a spark of desire in your marriage, or a tiny spark of arousal is sexual energy.   And so, I think of it as how do I grow sexual energy. And that, ironically, has to be a really intentional thing. It has to be like, I think about being with my husband, I actually spend time, maybe even my planner thinking, okay, I'd like to have sex, we'd like to have sex at some point this week, what day would be best where I'd have the most energy or where he would be, you know, not as stressed out because he had a lighter workday or maybe not have to early morning, you think about your week, your time, in terms of energy. And when you think about sexual energy, when we might have the most sexual energy or creating sexual energy.   And so, we've realized that we came to that point of kind of forsaking the high drive and low drive identities, because I think they can become Oh, he's the high, I'm the low, or vice versa. And that can feel heavy. And it can feel like pressure, like I feel ashamed, because I'm low, he feels disappointed, because he's high, whatever it might be.   And that can switch for men and women as well. And rather than seeing it as that, and maybe we've just like, life has beat us up. So, neither of us have a high drive at this point.   And but yet, we still have a very active sex life without that clinging to who's high and who's low, because we're both committed to growing our sexual energy. And so for me, that looks like thinking about being with him, it looks like tuning into my body in a sensuous way, as a tired mom, and that looks like holding my cup of coffee or cup of tea intentionally and like feeling sensation in the everyday moments from wafts of you know, steam coming from my coffee to the sunlight on my face to washing in the shower, I can actually realize that I've had years where I will do the whole shower routine and not feel a thing like I didn't even notice sensation from shampoo or from the loofah or from lotion, I just did it robotically to get through the chore of caring for my body. And I've switched really to think of it as being paying attention to my body paying attention to sensation paying attention to how nice it feels to wash my face with a soap that smells good. And it's those things of going slow and being embodied and paying attention to my body and sensations that does transfer over to help me remember, oh, I want to foster awareness of my body.   And being aware of my body is a way of fostering sexual energy, because I'm thinking about how things feel. And I'm thinking about my body and how it's responding to touch. And then that helps me honestly feel more when my husband touches me.   So, we can talk about that later about the issue of kind of feeling numb in our bodies. But I think that that is a reality for marriage later on is that we can become numb in our sex life, because we're just busy, and we're tired, and things are routine, and we're kind of bored. And so fostering sexual energy, getting out of our heads and into our bodies, thinking about our times together, growing our skills, sexually learning about learning about sex, learning about anatomy, all of those things are ways to grow sexual energy, as well as just the playfulness of the sparks and, you know, pulling each other into the pantry and having a quick makeout session, those kinds of things.   Laura Dugger: (9:36 - 10:53) I love those practical examples. And I think you're right; we should get to numbing or what it feels like maybe later on in marriage. But let's go back to Newlyweds or especially new moms, because just for all of marriage, sexual connection is going to cement us together.   So, of course, the enemy of our soul is going to want to do anything at every stage to make us too busy, too distracted, to have that intimate connection. And many times, new parents have things that make it difficult and challenging to connect. But it's not like it gets any easier, because then other difficulties are going to come in, whether that's raising older children or medical issues that come in or perimenopause and menopause.   So, there are always going to be obstacles. But I want us to be wise, whatever season we're in right now, to cultivate our delight and connection in every season. So, I don't know about you, Francie, but the most common phrase I've heard new moms tell me is, I've had people touching me all day.   I don't want him touching me at night. And I'd love for you to offer us a healthier narrative.   Francie Winslow: (10:54 - 14:47) Yeah. Well, I don't get to speak in person very often because of my commitment to be really invested at home with my kids. But I am speaking a few times this spring to some moms' groups.   And the theme is from touched out to turned on. So, I just want to affirm, if anybody is feeling that they are for sure not alone. I hear it all the time as well.   And there is this dynamic of I'm so touched out; I don't want to be touched anymore. And the thing I've learned in understanding our bodies, understanding sexuality, and especially female sexuality is that we are not only coming to the table with our bodies and our anatomy, we're coming with our nervous systems. And so there is this thing at play where we have been having stimulation come at us all day through media, through our phones, through needs of others, and we are touched out.   And another word for that would be overstimulated. And so, I would say you're not broken, you're not hopeless, you're overstimulated, and you're exhausted. And it is very hard for a woman to come into a place of arousal or desire from that place of what's probably fight or flight, that feeling of I just can't be touched anymore.   I am so overwhelmed. I feel like this bubbling over of anxiety or a place of like shut down and disconnected, I want to withdraw. And so those are two nervous system states that we often go in when we are overdone, overcooked, too much has been coming at us.   And so, when we're in that place, and we're feeling overstimulated, and like, I don't want to be touched, I would say the invitation is simply to take a minute and realize, oh, I'm not broken. I'm not actually as unavailable, maybe as I think I need to become available to myself for a minute, I need to reset, I need to remember that my body needs rest in order to connect and communicate that rather than it being like, oh, don't touch me, I've been touched out. And it looks like feels like rejection.   It's more of an invitation to care for yourself, knowing that, oh, in order to be available for connection, I need to see it not as another chore, but a place to be nourished and a place to reconnect to my own body. And that sexuality was meant to be a place of nourishment, and care and rejuvenation, not just another need to be meeting. And so, I think that's the other mindset shift is we need a minute to rest, reconnect to our bodies, maybe a shower, maybe a bath, a minute to say, okay, I'm very overstimulated, I do need a second.   And then to see that. And this is a call out to the husbands to like your job is to love your wife so well that she comes out of a sexual experience nourished. And if that's not happening in your marriage, know that that's actually the design of sexuality.   And it might take some communication and work to switch our mindset. Because a lot of times we've been raised with a mindset that maybe X is a man's need. And another thing we have to do as wives, but that's actually a real huge lie.   It's not about a man's need. It's about connection. And it's about nourishment.   And it's about fully giving ourselves to one another and being cared for. And so what amazes me is the power of sexuality, even orgasm release, pleasure to be able to wash out a woman's nervous system and like a bath like oof, I got reset, I got this sense of the rush of the sexual hormones, the serotonin and the oxytocin and this place of deep connection is God's design for us. And so having this flip a mindset of it's not another need I have to meet, but it's actually a nourishing gift to me to get into my body to receive pleasure.   There is a transition I think we need to give ourselves grace for to like, okay, I might want to shower and I might want to get out of my head and back into my body a little bit, but it really was designed to be a gift. And so that's, that's kind of my invitation is for women to receive it as a space that should be nourishing and can be nourishing and actually really healthy for her mind, body and spirit, even in tired seasons.   Laura Dugger: (14:48 - 15:10) I appreciate what you said there, because you're flipping it from all day, maybe we are receiving very unpleasant touch. But this is a different type of very pleasant touch to be receiving, or we've been giving all day. This is the refilling, nourishing.   And I think if we change our minds first, then our body can follow.   Francie Winslow: (15:10 - 16:10) And there is an element to I think, creating an environment that does feel safe to let go. Because I think if you think about moms, they're giving all day, they've got the babies nearby, the monitors on, you know, the laundry piles huge, like there's all these distractions, and it doesn't actually feel like that safe of an environment to be nourished. And so, I would say even take that into consideration of what would make sexual experiences with your husband feel nourishing to you.   And it might mean a really nice candle is lit or just a few things to change the environment to signal to your nervous system. Oh, yeah, this is a time of nourishment, not just okay, now I've got to switch, you know, here and meet another need. But this is a time to be beautiful.   I would maybe put a noisemaker on for you, you know, to drown out some of the feeling that you're going to be heard, or you might wake up the baby, make sure the door is locked. Just take a minute to feel like you're giving yourself a gift in that time as well. And sometimes that can help to kind of quiet the environment to make it feel like a place where you want to let go and you really want to receive.   Laura Dugger: (16:11 - 16:51) That's good. And the husbands can be so participatory with this, even that they have so much strength and usually more energy and sex gives them energy. So, if they can find creative ways to, I think, separate her as much as possible from mom to lover.   So, I mean, people are aware of these like put if the husband does the bedtime bath routine or can finish the dishes or just do those physically taxing tasks so that she can have that transition time. I think there are just endless ways to be creative. And I'm assuming husbands would be so motivated to love and serve their wife that way.   Francie Winslow: (16:52 - 17:08) Yeah, yeah, I think it's definitely a reality to think, okay, what does it look like for us both to step forward and really love each other? Well, and that will just probably be different for every couple but being able to know that you can use your voice and say that, hey, I really want to connect this would help me.   Laura Dugger: (17:09 - 17:25) That's good. So, we've addressed that obstacle then of physical touch. But let's also talk about the constant noise in our minds as women.   So, how can we move from getting stuck in our head to waking up our body?   Francie Winslow: (17:26 - 21:44) Yeah, well, I mentioned it a little bit earlier. But I'll know for for me, I feel if I'm not very purposeful in the way that I take in technology and take in my phone, I can easily just live in a state of perpetual kind of humming anxiety, and not really know why. I mean, apart from like the parts of life that are really hard, and paying attention to, okay, what am I allowing in?   What am I allowing to have access to me? What am I meditating on? How much white space?   Am I giving my heart or am I like listening to a podcast 24 hours a day, or, you know, constantly having stuff in versus creating space for quiet in my body. And in my heart, just even to hear myself breathe, or to sit with some instrumental music and just be for a and not be performing or producing or consuming something. That's been a big thing for my nervous system, honestly, in that context.   But I think the other thing that I mentioned earlier was our five senses. And I talked to women all the time who say I'm struggling with pleasure, I'm struggling with orgasm, I don't feel a whole lot. And there's a couple reasons we don't.   But one of the reasons is we live so much in our head, with all the things we have to think about our to do list that never ends the and I think the part of having a phone is that the Instacart is there, the Amazon is there, the emails from the school are there, it's just always something that we need to be thinking about or processing. And that can cause us to live so much in our heads that we kind of live from our, our head up our neck up, and we neglect the fact that we have an entire body. And so I often be reminding myself, get out of your head and into your body feel, feel even just like your belly exhaling when you breathe, like that's so small, but if you can slow down enough to take five slow deep breaths, you'll feel your heart rate go down, you'll feel the sense of awareness even of God's presence of the sense that He's with you the sense that you know, you can navigate whatever you need to with peace. And so, I do a lot of things like take a walk without my phone. I'll sit on my back porch even just to sit in the sun for a minute to let the sun on my body and I'm always aware at this point, I want to feel things in my body because God gave us five senses to be present to the moment to be present to our kids to be present to Him.   There's that classic book, Brother Lawrence, the practice of the presence of God. And it's this practicing awareness of God's nearness. And it's a practice.   And not to make a leap that makes two people, people feel too uncomfortable, but to practice pleasure is a thing to get out of your head and into the sense of awareness in your day of sensation, a beauty of love of the presence of your kids, their smiles, their faces, and then in pleasure to be super aware of the presence of your husband, of your own self with him of the love that you're having of the feelings you're having in your body.   And the noise that comes at us all day basically robs us of that awareness. And so, I think that the world's system of operating right now is maybe intentionally unintentionally, I'm not sure, bent on making us numb to God, to each other, to ourselves, to our souls, and to true genuine connection. And so, I think it's a real fight for me to live connected to myself, to God, to others.   And what does it look like to really be present? And that's actually such a unique key to pleasure, to sexual pleasure that we wouldn't necessarily connect. We would think it's about like, oh, tips or positions, but it's actually about becoming present.   And the noise coming at us tries to rob us of that presence, that awareness. And so, I think it's a very integrated conversation, whether it's talking about spiritual intimacy, sexual intimacy, obviously friendship, wherever we're trying to connect with someone or God, but the call is to be present and embodied. And that's what Jesus was.   He was an embodiment of God. And He came to actually connect in a genuine face-to-face way. And yeah, so I think of when I think of the noise of my phone, the noise coming at us all the time, it's just draining of my energy, of my sexual energy, of my emotional energy, on all the levels.   And it's constantly a reminder of God saying, “that's not your design. Your design was connection and presence and how that hits all the markers in all the relationships.”   Laura Dugger: (21:45 - 24:26) And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, Winshape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time? Winshape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life. From pre-marital to parenting to the emptiness phase, there is an opportunity for you. Winshape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly, so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their journey. These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of Winshape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham, and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well-fed, well-nurtured, and well-cared for.   During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication, and more. I've stayed on site at Winshape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food, and content. You will be so grateful you went. To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage.org/savvy, S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   Getting out of our mind, getting into our body, how you said paying attention to your coffee and those five senses outside the bedroom, then when you're inside the bedroom, I remember Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner just saying, thank God for every tingly feeling that you get. I think you're more aware of your body in those times of intimate connection if you're practicing that outside of it, which is what you're advising. I guess one other super practical tip, I love it that a friend years ago told me the way she transitioned from work into sexual connection with her husband, they invested in a massage table. She would get 20 minutes or whatever on the table and he would just relax her head to toe and then they enjoyed that connection so much more.   Francie Winslow: (24:27 - 28:23) Absolutely. Yeah, there's different types of touch. I talk about this in one of my podcasts, but there's therapeutic touch, which is like, “hey, I think I need a foot rub. I just need to relax.”   Then there's nurturing touch. I will walk up a lot of times to my husband and just stand there and that signal of like, just hold me.   I just need to be touched in that way, not groped. I don't even need to be playfully touched. I just need to be secure and held.   Sometimes that's what we need to let go and let our nervous systems calm down. I will say even like a hug for 30 seconds, you can feel your body, hug until you feel yourself let go because you feel yourself soften. Noticing the sensations of, Wyatt and I went on a date the other day and I could feel myself.   I was just noticing the sensations of my body and I'm like, I'm gripping. I'm gripping everything. That's not a great way to go into a date.   Talking through like, okay, what is it that my body is gripping onto? It's so much stress, so much pressure. Then we ended up having a great date, but I was able to name those things like, what is my body needing?   What am I feeling? Where am I now? That just comes from awareness, and it comes from practicing being present to what's happening in my body, in my nervous system and what do I need?   There's therapeutic touch, nurturing touch. There's obviously playful touch like tickling or just being flirtatious. Then there's sexual touch.   There's a wide range of what sexual expression and nice and gentle touch can look like that can open you up. I think getting out of your head and into your body and not being afraid of your body. I think as Christian women, we were raised with a real fear of our bodies and a real fear of pleasure.   I know I was feeling like the word pleasure was even a really dirty word. It wasn't something I should be thinking about. It wasn't something that I had permission to even explore because it had a real sense of negative connotation to it.   God's just really set me free from that because I'm realizing it's my design. There are countless pleasure zones all over my body by his good design, by his orchestration. He made my body.   There's not one part of my body he's ashamed of, and I don't need to be either. Realizing that God did make the female body with way more than double the capacity for pleasure than a male body has. That's a gift for us.   It's a gift for our emotions. It's a gift for our mental health. It's a gift for our creativity.   You said men get more energy from sex, but actually, it's like when a woman really let's go and she really let's go because we have a hard time letting go. That doesn't mean crazy. It just really means you turn off your brain, and you really receive.   There is a restart that happens. Usually, creativity does flow because it's the sense of different parts of your brain are reactivated and you are nourished. Sexuality was meant to be a creative act in procreation, but also in energetic movement through your body of what love creates.   Love multiplies. Love grows. Not being afraid of our bodies, not being afraid of feeling, but praising God, like the penner said for every tingle.   I'll say in terms of awareness in the bedroom, if you're having trouble feeling or you're having trouble feeling pleasure or reaching orgasm, there's three tips that I've heard that I really like is breath, breathing in that moment, coming back to your breath because a lot of times we can be intimate and still be in our heads. Our bodies are there, but our minds are somewhere else. We're thinking about the grocery list or thinking about why am I taking so long or is he having fun or do I look not good?   Do I not look good to him? Where our brains are stuck in a lot of different places and getting out of our head back into our body with breath. Slowing down, really conscious, slow breathing, movement, going back and forth, and then vocalization, like using a moan or a hum or a yes.   Those three things are often helping you get back in your body, helping bring your attention back to sensation and can enhance the moment through paying attention in those ways.   Laura Dugger: (28:24 - 28:59) Those are so good. The only one I would add, I'm sure you would incorporate this as well, is prayer. I've heard a wife tell me before that she will pray every time they come together, whether she's praying just in her mind, not even out loud with her husband, but just, Lord, help me experience orgasm or help us to enjoy this time or whatever the prayer is.   You also brought up playful touch then. Can you just unpack why play is so powerful as it relates to our sex life?   Francie Winslow: (29:01 - 30:36) Well, I think that we can get so serious in life and we can get so exhausted and overwhelmed and then sex can become a task, or we just are now stressed about it. For us, quite simply put, playfulness has just been an invitation to revitalize our connection and to remember that we don't have to take things so seriously. I think our playfulness has come through even just like silly text messages.   I say silly, but they're intimate, they're playful, they're between us. Little things that we've done, like you have certain names for certain positions and so you can speak in code and that can be a fun way to connect where nobody else knows what you're talking about, but you're sharing connection. Getting your heart rate up together, things like playing literally, like playing a sport, exercising together, having playful times together outside of the bedroom is so powerful.   Getting your heart rate up together is actually a real libido booster. If you go work out, you just feel this energy together in general or going on a walk, we like to do that. By the time you come back from your walk, if you've walked briskly, you feel this sense of connection and a little bit more drive.   You can even make games like, hey, whenever I wear this necklace, it's me giving you a little bedroom wink. We've done that where we have little signs to each other that, hey, I'm thinking about you, I'm so into you, see this necklace I'm wearing. There's just so many playful ways that you can connect that remind you, oh yeah, we're on each other's teams, we're for each other.   This is not a have to, this is a get to, and this is a special place just for us to really build the connection.   Laura Dugger: (30:37 - 30:52) One step further then with that play and movement, I've heard you talk about for females, nonlinear movement of our body. Can you share about how that, again, outside the bedroom can impact inside the bedroom?   Francie Winslow: (30:52 - 35:31) Yeah. I have a membership community called The Circle, and we talk about this a lot because it's a bit like rewiring, especially Christian women's minds to connect to their bodies in a genuine way. Our culture in general has raised us to not embrace the masculine but requires us to be masculine in a lot of ways, just with how what's required is getting stuff done, standing in line, standing in traffic.   It's very much task-oriented, get stuff done, stay busy. The female design is much more nonlinear. It's much more creative.   It's much more life-giving than just task and just to-do list all day. When we stay in that do, do, do, and go, go, go mode, we lose our ability to flow and to be playful as women. I know when I am in task mode all day, I feel rigid rather than open.   By God's design, the female body itself speaks of curviness. It speaks of receptivity and openness, but sometimes in our structured lives that we lead where we have to get stuff done, we close off that space through stress and through just this response of rigidity and overwhelm. Movement is a great way to loosen up, to open up to access playfulness as a woman.   I've heard people call it nonlinear movement, and I think that's great because literally you don't have to be a good dancer, but it's just begin moving. I've taught in this membership group that I have just practical ways. We practice and we laugh and we talk about how it's going, but it's really creating new neural pathways in our own brains, new habits, new ways of embodying our own selves in our lives that remind us of who we are and help us access a playfulness.   What that looks like for me is I can just be brushing my teeth, and I'll just do figure eights with my hips. That's just nonlinear movement, and it's just a way to move my body and be like, oh, yeah. It's like doing shoulder rolls.   You're like, oh, I didn't know I was so tense. I didn't know I was gripping. I didn't know my posture was all hunched over because I've just been tense all day, and our bodies are holding on to that tension.   Nonlinear movement is playful. It's also a way to release tension. It's also a way to remember, oh, yeah, I'm a woman, and I have hips, and it's fun to move.   I'm not even that great of a dancer. I don't feel super sexy when I move, but then I remember I can be playful, and it kind of unlocks another layer of our sensuality and our beauty and helps us remember that we are lovely and attractive and desirable and not just kind of to-do list on stairways walking around getting stuff done. Nonlinear movement can look like a lot of things.   I've spent my 39th year, I decided on my birthday, I'd been thinking, reading, praying a lot about it, but my 39th year, I decided I'm going to befriend my body this year. I did things that whole year, like nonlinear movement, like just cultivating pleasure in my body in a lot of different ways to really befriend and honor my body and call it good, like God called it, because I had lived for so long kind of at a distance from my body and afraid of my body and afraid of, honestly, femininity in a way because I didn't know how to grid that, and I didn't know what it looked like to be holy and to be integrated, to be holy and to be an alive sexual woman. It just kind of seemed like I needed to shut most of it off, and God's been doing a healing work in me for the last several years, and that's part of it, is just simple things like dancing in my room when nobody's looking, turning on music that doesn't have to have like a certain lyric or notion to it, but I just get to move, and there's something about moving our bodies where we get to really let go of a lot and remember the design that we have for creativity and beauty, and yeah, that's just a fun way to do it, but a little practical is trying figure eights while you're doing your toothbrushing or stirring your spaghetti.   A funny one that makes me laugh and makes everybody laugh when I have them do it is spelling your name with your hips, and so you just realize, oh, oh my gosh, you know, you're moving your hips in all sorts of directions, but by the time you finish, you feel more open, and you feel more alive and awake in your body, and I think, I know I'll speak for me, I feel many days if I'm not intentional very unalive in my body because I just am exhausted, but it's those intentional places of befriending our bodies, paying attention, and honoring our beautiful bodies allows us to enjoy it more, being a woman, being a wife, being present, and it sure does make it a lot more fun to participate in it rather than just feel like life is happening to us all the time.   Laura Dugger: (35:32 - 35:59) Okay, and then speaking of that, life happening to us all the time, we talked about maybe newlyweds or new parents, but as we transition into middle age, maybe we're parenting older children at that point, or we're assisting with aging parents, or facing demands with work or our health. How can we realistically still choose to prioritize connection right in the middle of busy?   Francie Winslow: (35:59 - 36:01) Yeah, you mean with our spouses?   Laura Dugger: (36:02 - 36:02) Yes.   Francie Winslow: (36:02 - 41:05) Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it, for us, I'll say it comes from really just seeing it as a priority. It's one of our biggest rocks, you know, like when you have a jar, and you have rocks, and you only have so much room, you have to figure out what are your biggest rocks, and intimacy together is for sure one of our biggest rocks because we see what we've called, I've called forever the ripple effect of sex, that there is a ripple effect that comes from intimacy and connection, I think by God's design, and it's the same with our connection with God, that there is a ripple effect that comes from our connection with God. When we're connected and we're growing with God, other things benefit, right?   We see it in our ability to show up as parents, and at work, we see the ripple effect of intimacy, and I'll say the same thing mirrors in marriage, that there is a profound ripple effect from sexual intimacy specifically, and there's other forms of intimacy in marriage that are really important, but sexual intimacy is the only type of intimacy that is shared in marriage alone, and so you can have deep friendships, and partnerships, and ministry, and prayer teams, and, you know, small group leaders meetings, and you can have growth, and closeness with a lot of types of people and groups, but sexual intimacy is the full giving of yourself, naked, unashamed, fully to another, and it's a real place of vulnerability, and I think as we're aging, as I'm beginning perimenopause, as we have almost, we're launching our first kids into college, we've got a bunch of special needs younger kids, what I'm realizing is I don't just need to have sex because it's good for our marriage, we need it because it's good for us. We really need it for our own nervous systems.   We need it for comfort, and for grief, and for trauma processing, and for the bonding of us together, because we're clinging to each other as seasons change, and as dark seasons are on us, it's almost like this refuge that God has given us, and so I think seeing sexual intimacy as a really deep place of provision, not just, oh, it's something we need to do, like exercising, because it's good for us. It is, but there is a deeper invitation to the meaning, and the power of oneness, and union, which is, again, that reflection of our union with God, and it's a gift for our bodies, our nervous systems, in changing seasons as well.   It's a real place of connection that we need, and so I think in terms of prioritizing it, it's one of our big rocks, and so this point, 20 years in, it's not unusual for us to have intimacy many times every day of the week. I guess I just say that as our marriage is 20 years in, and it's more deep, and more beautiful, and more pleasurable, and more meaningful than ever, and in my changing body, in our tiredness, I feel more confident, and more awake to my body than ever, and I love that, that I feel more confident than I did when I was 20, right? I feel more pleasure, because we know each other more, and we've leaned in to learn each other, and we've wept together, and we've grieved together, and we've gotten lost together, like we've had the highs and the lows, and that's, I think I want to cast that out as vision for young marriages, like it's worth it to keep growing, it's worth it to lean in, it's worth it to know each other, and to continue to press on together, because there's deep riches in that intimacy, and for friends who are in the older years, I'm walking with women right now who've been married 35 years, and they're waking up to their best marriage ever, because they're waking up to their bodies, and they might be 60 years old, but they're finally confronting the shame that's held back, they're finally confronting the lies about pleasure, and about sex being for a man only, and they're realizing that they have an entire body to get to know, and to share in marriage, and it's like a whole new territory that they're encountering, and there's freedom and healing happening, because they've had to have conversations that are hard, but actually unearth things that need to be healed, and I think that's the other bit of sexual intimacy that doesn't often get talked about, is that sexual intimacy is so intimate, it does not occur without the heart being present, and so if hard things come up in sex, it's usually because hard things need to come up, and vulnerability and intimacy requires, intimacy requires vulnerability, and that vulnerability is the space for the hard things to come up, and then in the presence of God, through prayer, through love, you address those, it might be hard, it might be painful, and then there's space to say, hey, let's work through that, let's lean in, let's keep loving each other, find help, and it continues to grow the marriage deeper, and so that's what I've found in our marriage, and with women I'm walking with, is that it's not always an easy uphill, you know, like ascent, but it's highs and lows, but over time, throughout the seasons, prioritizing oneness, prioritizing sexual communication, prioritizing time together, to practice pleasure, getting to know each other, those are the spaces where actually I've seen God do a lot of healing.   Laura Dugger: (41:07 - 42:40) I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit thesavvysauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichson from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities, and we are thrilled with the final product, so I hope you check it out. There you're going to find all of our podcasts, now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living.   You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax-deductible so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So, make sure you visit thesavvysauce.com.   Well, and even with you sharing how often you're connecting, that requires saying no to some other, probably sometimes good things, too.   Are there any practical examples you have, again, of what you and Wyatt have not prioritized in order to give this time and space?   Francie Winslow: (42:41 - 45:06) Yeah, I mean, I don't want to put ourselves on a pedestal or sound so radical, but we really try to limit screen time and phones a lot. I would say my husband is very radical with this. He really is never on his phone and makes it a point to not be, and I appreciate that in the way he leads in our family.   I feel like I'm doing stuff that needs to be done on my phone, and I can easily get pulled into scrolling, but that's been a big thing we say no to. We just really don't do that in our beds. We don't bring it into our bedrooms.   We don't, because we just see that it can easily be like it just pulls us away from each other, and so that's kind of a non-thing, which I think is a big culture shifter that phone is not a part of our marriage or our time in the evenings. And yeah, with a lot of kids, we definitely have to prioritize. We do hotel dates quite frequently, which I can't remember if I've talked to you about or not, but that's been a huge gift in busy seasons of parenting.   We scoot away to a local hotel for just a day, not even an overnight. We'll do like a long date, like maybe a four-hour stretch, and what that really gives us in terms of not just quantity, because it's not as much quantity, it's the quality of connection that we found, and being in a hotel room for four hours or so, we really get to let go and focus. And so, I think that that's a big part of it is, oh, it's not just about like checking the box, but it's really letting go together and learning.   And those have been some of the hours we've spent together. It's like learning what feels good, learning how to linger with each other, learning how to go slow and not be rushed, learning how to communicate and learning how to care for one another. We'll do like king treatment or queen treatment, where you spend 20 minutes on one person, and then the other person gets 20 minutes, and you take turns, and it's just this exchange of care that doesn't happen in a busy life.   But we found that sneaking away to do that every couple of weeks has been a real treat to figure out how to prioritize. But yeah, definitely saying no to... And I mean, the truth is, it doesn't take that long to connect.   So, it's not like you have to say no to massive things, but I think it's saying yes to putting your energy towards each other and not spending your energy completely on every other thing except your marriage.   Laura Dugger: (45:07 - 45:25) Okay, well said. And maybe somebody's hearing this and they're not there right now. So, regardless of whatever season of marriage they're in, how can they revive a sex life that's been asleep or has become complacent?   Francie Winslow: (45:25 - 46:44) Yeah. Well, I think if it's a place where you are desiring and you are the one desiring, I think it's saying, hey, I really desire connection. What would it look like if we tried this again, if we leaned in?   And if hopefully there's a sense of, yeah, I miss you too. I miss us too. And if not, it's a space where you can grow in your own understanding of your body, how your body works, and you can continue to learn how your spouse's body works and try to love them even without making a big plan, but just showing up more skills or showing up with more investment at times can communicate, hey, I'm showing up with a little bit more knowledge and I'm enjoying it more.   Because I think when you learn a little bit more, you can receive more, you can be more present. And sometimes just working on you and your mindset can have a trickle-down effect. But I think definitely an invitation to say, hey, we're busy and I value you and I value us and I just want more connection.   What does that look like? Yeah, I think it definitely takes two. It takes two to really grow, to be honest.   And so, I think it can be a place where even that can be a hard conversation that has the potential to unearth, hey, are we too busy? It does require a sense of investment. And sometimes that can require conversations.   Laura Dugger: (46:45 - 46:56) Francie, also, you are a wealth of knowledge. You've studied this topic for years; you've brought it before the Lord. So, what can you share with us that you've learned specifically about orgasm?   Francie Winslow: (46:57 - 50:30) So, orgasm for anybody who is brand new is simply like a fast contraction of your muscles in your pelvic floor and around the nerve endings that are linked to pleasure sensors in your brain. And so, when those contract really fast, it feels like a whoosh or a powerful punch of pleasure, and it brings tingles and contractions, and it feels great. So, people come to me a lot.   They're like, I can't have an orgasm. And so one of the biggest keys to having an orgasm, again, is understanding your body and not expecting your body to work like a man's body, not expecting it to just automatically work by penetration, which is a lot of times what men think is if you just have intercourse, you should have an orgasm. But a woman's body is much more intricate, and she has a clitoral structure kind of hidden behind her external anatomy.   So, you can't see it all, all the time. I do have one here. I have other models, but this is a clitoris.   And so, this is hidden behind your outside vaginal tissues. And so, but this is all pleasure anatomy. And so, your clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings and that is over double what a man's penis has.   We're maybe afraid to touch our bodies, but this is good in God's design, and it is that the clitoris is stimulated. And so, it can be manually, you can touch it, your husband can touch it. Sometimes before sex, you can have orgasms or even during, definitely during, but that comes with stimulation.   And so I think sometimes women think I just, it should happen automatically, but it happens through blood flow to your tissues, to your whole body really, because your whole body becomes kind of alive with pleasure, but the blood flow allows engorgement of all of this tissue, which allows it to feel better and allows it to feel pleasure. And so, a clitoris, a clitoral orgasm is one type of orgasms, but there's lots of types of orgasms that your body can experience with also a female superpower. And it happens when we're able to let go and we're able to actually feel, which comes back to our earlier conversation of being awake in our bodies and aware of sensation and connected to feeling in our body and connected to awareness.   And so, orgasm is a beautiful gift from God. There's many types of orgasms. Women can have multiple orgasms.   That means can peak over and over and over again, not just once, but the bottom line is when God created, he created male and female, but he created woman last. And it seems like when you look at it metaphorically, that woman is like the exclamation point of beauty and pleasure. She was like the final, yes, she has double the amount of pleasure capacity than a man does.   And I think it's because it delights God that women are fully alive in their bodies. And so, I do have a pleasure masterclass on my website because it took me and wound up and afraid of my own body, but this is God's design and he's not afraid or ashamed of our bodies. And the more we understand how God designed our bodies, the more we can really celebrate his design.   And to me, that's worshipful. And it's honoring to him as our creator, because he made us wonderfully, right? And the Psalm says that my soul knows well, and it's like this catching up.   He made us wonderfully. Do we believe it? And part of is education and understanding that our bodies are good.   So, orgasm is a great gift, definitely one worth exploring and learning.   Laura Dugger: (50:31 - 50:41) It's so wonderful, Francie. And are there any other practical ways that we can maximize pleasure in our marriage, both for husbands or wives?   Francie Winslow: (50:43 - 53:59) Yeah, I think this sounds a little bit silly, but practicing pleasure is a real thing. We often feel like I should just know how to do it. It should just work, but it takes communication and it takes time.   And going back to awareness, it takes us being able to understand our bodies. And so, I know the pinners recommend this as well. It might push some people's buttons, but it's exploring your own body.   You have to know your body to share it well. It's a really awkward and uncomfortable thing to not know what's down there and then supposed to be giving it away to your husband. That's I think a sin against ourselves, to be honest, because we are essentially violating ourselves if we don't even have connection to ourselves.   And then we're trying to give it away and expecting our bodies to express or experience something. We have to be embodied, connected to loving, blessing, and agreeing with the fact that our bodies are good. And that doesn't happen unless we know our bodies.   And so, I would say that the pivotal thing for me and many women, and it might make people feel uncomfortable, is you must know your body. You must experience your body. You must believe it's good.   And in order to be able to share it genuinely without shame, because shame is the biggest pleasure killer. And shame is straight from hell, straight from the enemy in the garden that they were originally naked and unashamed. And in comes the deceiver and the accuser of God's children.   And they suddenly become aware of their nakedness and covered in shame and they start hiding. And so, God has an invitation to us to release shame in our sexuality as we bring our sexuality into his light, into the light of his word, into his presence. And part of that is for me, it was definitely realizing my body is good.   So, spending time with your own body, getting to know what feels good for the sake of being able to share it with your husband is a big breakthrough point for a lot of women. And even confronting like, oh, when I'm alone with my body, I actually feel so much shame. Talk to God about that.   God, do you feel ashamed of my body? Is it a shame that I'm sitting here with my body? Can I look at my body in the mirror and actually say, thank you, God, for this beautiful body?   Can I take a mirror down there and explore my body and have joy rather than shame? And if we can't have joy and if we only have shame, that's okay. That's just an invitation to healing.   And so that's what I mean when I say sexuality is also this invitation to healing because shame is so tightly wound around the conversation and shame is the opposite of what Christ died for. He died that we would be free and that it's not this selfish freedom. It's this life-giving freedom where love can really be shared and expressed.   So, I would say that the number one thing is that women love and know their bodies and then can share them from that place of sharing a gift that they have actually received first. Because until we receive the gift, it's an awkward thing to try to give it away. And I think our husbands are hopefully wanting and willing to learn too.   And so, it can be a joint effort that we learn about our bodies together, that we discover our bodies together, learn how to communicate and learn how to love each other well in a place of joy and care. Because that, I think, is a beautiful space of worship to God.   Laura Dugger: (54:01 - 54:43) And just to echo what you said, I think it was Dr. Jennifer Kanzen who shared the same sentiment of women, it's really hard to see your private parts. So, get a handheld mirror and look and see what every part is and be aware on your body. I also want to make sure people aren't hearing what you're not saying.   And so, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I don't hear you saying, be selfish and masturbate to take away time from you and your spouse being together. You're saying, learn your body and your parts so that you and or be together with your spouse while you're doing this so that you can both experience greater pleasure. Is that right?   Francie Winslow: (54:43 - 56:15) Exactly. But what I'm not saying is satisfy yourself apart from your husband and then don't ever connect. Nobody wants that.   That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about building sexual intimacy in your marriage and sexual healing in your journey as a woman who wants to be integrated. And so, yeah, I think there could be a whole conversation on this because it can be a hot button.   And I'm glad you're willing to go there because we need honesty. We need our daughters to be able to have this sort of conversation with us and not feel like there's things that we just need to do in secret. Because I think anything you feel like I have to have this as a secret, that's also like, ah, like, let's talk about it.   And so, what I call self-cultivation is not a secret. And it's something you share with your spouse. And it's something that, hey, I want to get to know my body.   And that's actually in my journey. My husband was like, hey, you need to get to know your body. I bless you to like have some alone time because you're so wound up in shame.   You don't even know. You can't even feel. And so, it really, it was rooted in our experience as him commissioning me basically to befriend my body.   And I think that that's, it's a different paradigm, but I appreciate the many sex therapists who are believers that agree with that menu, that idea of you have to experiment and explore to know how to genuinely articulate what you want rather than just laying there and assuming your husband can read your mind. And so, it's, again, a place of communication and saying, hey, this is where I'm at. Is this okay?   What does this look like for us? And this is my desire is intimacy and connection with you.   Laura Dugger: (56:16 - 56:41) And I love how you are explaining how you invite the Lord into that process for every person to ask him, what do you have for me? What do you want me to learn? What do you want to reveal to me about sex?   And none of us want to miss out on any good gift that he has to offer. So, France, you could continue teaching us and you have so many resources. Can you just share where you would direct us to go online after this chat?   Francie Winslow: (56:42 - 57:19) Sure. Yeah. Well, I have several courses and growth guides on my website.   So, franciewinslow.com and just spaces. If you wanted to have these conversations with your husband or maybe just wanted to grow on your own. And if you're looking for conversations exactly like we're having today, ongoing, I have a community membership group that we meet monthly on zoom to literally have conversations like this that are so life-giving because we're all on a journey and it's fun to be able to talk about places that we've had barriers and how we're growing.   And that's called the circle. So, I have that as well. So, lots of resources and ways to plug in and keep growing.   Laura Dugger: (57:20 - 57:36) Wonderful. We'll add the links in the show notes for today's episode. And Francie, you're already familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Francie Winslow: (57:37 - 58:14) Well, it's not that fancy and it's going to sound extremely simple, but it's take a walk without your phone every day. It's part of that awareness and that coming back home to God who is in us with us all the time. And those simple deep breaths, remembering that we have him in us.   And a lot of times it's just that simple reminder of a minute unplugged in God's creation that helps me to kind of come back home to him and recenter to be filled up for all that comes my way. So, I'm a big fan of unplugging. That's so good.   Laura Dugger: (58:14 - 58:42) And it's just always such a joy to get to spend time with you. And God has given you these enormous gifts of teaching and this ability to synthesize knowledge from so many places and then make it beneficial and applicable for all of us as it relates to sexual intimacy in view of what God has for us in marriage. So, thank you, Francie, for sharing all this goodness today and thank you for being my returning guest.   Francie Winslow: (58:42 - 58:43) Absolutely. Thanks for having me.   Laura Dugger: (58:45 - 1:01:59) One more thing before you go.   Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you.   But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.   So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can

God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

Leading in Parenting: Special Patreon Release with Arlene Pellicane   Titus 3:1 (AMP) “Remind people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good,"   *Transcription Below*   Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband and Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life.   She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Dr. Gary Chapman).     Arlene has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.  She writes regularly for Proverbs 31 Ministries  and Girlfriends in God.  Arlene earned her BA from Biola University and her Masters in Journalism from Regent University.  Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy.  To learn more, visit www.ArlenePellicane.com    Arlene Pellicane's Website Arlene Pellicane's Podcast   Books by Arlene Pellicane: Parents Rising 31 Days to a Happy Husband 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom 31 Days to a Younger You Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life Growing up Social by Dr. Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and Cultivate What Matters   Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!) Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!    Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website    Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:08)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:53) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   I want to say a huge thank you to today's sponsors for this episode, Chick-fil-A East Peoria and Savvy Sauce Charities.   Are you interested in a free college education for you or someone you know? Stay tuned for details coming later in this episode from today's sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. You can also visit their website today at Chick-fil-A.com forward slash East Peoria.   If you've been with us long, you know this podcast is only one piece of our nonprofit, which is the Savvy Sauce Charities.  Don't miss out on our other resources. We have questions and content to inspire you to have your own practical chats for intentional living. And I also hope you don't miss out on the opportunity to financially support us through your tax-deductible donations. All this information can be found on our recently updated website, thesavvysauce.com.   I'm thrilled to welcome back author and speaker Arlene Pellicane. In her warm and welcoming way, she's going to share about parenting from a biblical perspective and give us practical steps to take to ensure as parents, we are leaders of the home and not followers of our children.    Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Arlene.   Arlene Pellicane: (1:54 - 1:55) It's great to be with you again. How fun.   Laura Dugger: (1:55 - 2:02) Well, in case our friends listening didn't hear your first episode, can you just catch us up on who you are and what you do?   Arlene Pellicane: (2:03 - 2:30) Sure. We talked about growing up social, raising relational kids in a screen-driven world. So, I just try to help families get a hold of that technology, so it doesn't take over your house.  And so, I speak and write books. My books include 31 Days to a Happy Husband, Growing Up Social, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom. I have three kids. My husband, James, and I have been married for 21 years.  And our kids are now in high school, junior high, and elementary school. And they go boy, girl, girl.   Laura Dugger: (2:31 - 2:39) And let's even go one step further and go back a little bit in your history. What type of home were you raised in?   Arlene Pellicane: (2:41 - 3:25) I am an only child. So, my husband would say he's the last of four that I was raised in a very spoiled home. That's what he would say.  So, I was the only child. I had cousins who lived in the same neighborhood. So that was really nice.  So I never felt lonely. And apparently I didn't ask my parents for a sibling. So, they were like, okay, we're happy with one.  We'll just keep it this way. And so, I had cousins that were very close in age to me in the neighborhood that I played with. And so, I had a very happy childhood and a good childhood.  I will say my sweet mom, she's so funny. She's super social. She just loves people. So, I was always the kid that was waiting on the curb like, please, mom, come pick me up. Because she was probably talking to someone and couldn't get me soon enough.   Laura Dugger: (3:26 - 3:34) That's amazing. Have you carried on that style now that you're raising your own family? Or have you chosen to do some things differently?   Arlene Pellicane: (3:34 - 4:50) I think a lot of the ways I parent are very much like how my mom and dad were.  My mom and dad were very open, very relational, talking, hugging, and involved in what I did. I was a cheerleader.  And if I came home, she'd be awake with hot chocolate at midnight after a game. Or something like that. So, I think that idea of being relational.  And there were rules and there were boundaries. But it was a very relational home. I think we definitely have that.  And my home was very joyful. And we try to make our home very joyful. So probably the most distinctive difference is the way we handle chores and just being tougher.  My mom and dad and I were caterers. Like, oh, if you need something, we'll do that for you. Where my husband is like, uh-uh.  You can do that yourself. And I think that's good. Because the first time I did laundry was in college.  I mean, that's pretty late. I remember being in college and thinking, what in the world do I do with this quarter and this laundry? I have no idea. And so, my husband has helped us to instill that the kids, you know, as soon as, like, my youngest is in fifth grade.  But even by second or third grade, she was doing her own laundry. So, I think that's good. My husband has helped us to see that learning how to do chores at a young age is a positive thing.   Laura Dugger: (4:50 - 5:14) I think it's just so interesting to hear because we all have a different approach.  So I love hearing both of those stories. And now you're also a working mom. And I know that some of our listeners have mentioned how grateful they are to hear from fellow Christians who have chosen to work while also raising their children. So, has this been natural for you or was it a struggle at times?   Arlene Pellicane: (5:15 - 6:18) Yeah. And I have to say, you know, I am a working mom with a lot of flexibility because I speak and I write. But my schedule is at home, and I am my own boss. So, I can say to myself, oh, let's go to the field trip. You know, I can do those kinds of things where I know many moms who are working these overnight shifts and they are crazy busy. And so, in that sense, I feel like if I say, oh, it's been easy, you know, it's been OK, that's kind of why. Because I haven't been forced to do these crazy hours. So, if you are listening right now and you're like, I am so sleepy because I've been working so hard, my heart goes goes to you. So, this has been a wonderful mix just for me personally, because I have the flexibility to be available for my kids. But it gives me a purpose that's outside of my children that I really enjoy. And it's kind of cool because since I write about marriage and the family and parenting, it keeps me in my space. So, I'm kind of constantly getting to have stories for my own work.  So it's it's been quite ideal. I love it.   Laura Dugger: (6:19 - 6:26) So is there any scripture or clarity from the Lord that helped affirm you in both of those roles?   Arlene Pellicane: (6:27 - 7:36) Yeah, you know, I think of Proverbs three of trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. And so, as we're trusting in God, not leaning on our understanding and we're seeing like he will make your path straight. And so, I have seen that over and over and over again to simply trust. And it really is, you know, for me, it's being a speaker and an author. And I know some of you who are listening, that's something that you desire to do. But whether it's that or something else, you know, we live in a culture where you're supposed to be a celebrity, like you're supposed to amass numbers and have platforms and do all these things. And I think when you get to the point where it's like, you know, I want influence, I want impact, I want to help people. But I don't care if I help them with two followers or with 16, you know what I mean? Like not being into all those kinds of things. And I think when we turn our hearts to saying with our work, God, let your will be done in this. God be magnified in this Lord, just whatever I can do, multiply it. God will do that and be obedient that that's what's most important, not necessarily the Instagram followers, etc. So set your heart on God and the other things will fall into place.   Laura Dugger: (7:36 - 7:46) And like you said, in your work, you do write about family and parenting. So how can parents lead the home rather than children?   Arlene Pellicane: (7:47 - 10:36) This is so important, right? And it used to be that the home of yesterday might have been like, children are seen but not heard. But today it's backward.  It's like parents are seen but not heard. It's like people talking are the children. And so, watch your language.  You know, how do you talk to your children? Do you talk in a way that is like a leader or are you asking them questions all the time? So, I notice this about myself. So, for instance, that after you say something, you would say, okay, like, it's time to go come to dinner.  Okay. Like it's a question, right?  Not an instruction. Or why don't you wear this shirt? Okay. So, we, especially as moms, do this all the time. And if we don't tack the word, okay, on our voices still go up. Like we'll say, why don't you pick that one?  Isn't that a good idea? Like we're constantly like our voices go up in the question. So, part of leadership is even just listening to yourself.  How am I communicating? And I love what John Roseman, the psychologist says is communicate your instruction using the least amount of words possible. So, it's go to the car.   That's a leader, right? You're just telling your child, go to the car. But we say, okay, it's time to go to grandma's house.  And you know, we don't want to be late. So, let's start zipping up your jacket and let's go. Okay, it's time to go.  Are you not ready to go? Get your shoes on. Okay, you got your shoes.  That's so good. You got your shoes. Get in the car.  Right? So, it's like all we need to say was get in the car. So, I love that.  So just even assess how do you communicate to your children? Because your children are hearing all these things. And so, they just hear like this lovely paragraph.  They missed go to the car. So, assess how you talk. Use fewer words.  Don't make everything a question. And all of this, of course, stems from the idea, the realization that, wait a minute, I'm the leader in the home, not my child. So many people will say, well, my child won't let me do that.  Right? Like we ride bikes in our neighborhood. And my son, when he was in second grade, had a really bad accident involving him and a truck. And went to the hospital and was fine because of the grace of God and because he was wearing a helmet. And so, we'll see kids in the neighborhood without helmets. And my husband said to the dad, “You know, just last week, my son was hit by a car on this very street.  It's really important that your kids wear a helmet. And the father said, oh, I just can't get my kids to do it. So, this is the problem of, wait, who is the leader here? Is the child the leader or is the parent the leader? So, you've got to see, first of all, in scripture, it is children obey your parents and not the other way around. So, we've got to just embrace that with all of our heart.   Laura Dugger: (10:37 - 11:06) That's amazing to even hear you say that, because this morning this verse just jumped off the page at me. And it's in Titus 3, verse 1. And I'm reading out of the Amplified Version. And it says, remind people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good.  That just struck me for parenting. Like you're saying, it is biblical and it's important for us to lead.   Arlene Pellicane: (11:07 - 11:49) And wow, if your kids cannot learn from you, right, if in their own home they don't have that sense of, oh, there's this healthy authority over me and I do what they say. Like if they don't have that, then look at them as they grow up. They're going to have trouble with their relationship with God. It's like, oh, God commands us to do a lot of things.  And like Mary, we could say, let it be to me according to your word. I am your servant. Or like the modern person, we could be like, no way. Who are you to tell me what to do, right? So that authority, if they can get that from you as a parent, that's going to help them with their spouse, with their employer, with a police officer, with a teacher, with God. It just helps them in all those relationships.   Laura Dugger: (11:50 - 12:03) And I'm so grateful for people like you who are writing parenting books. And so, I want to know, how did you arrive at your eight strategies in one of your recent books titled Parents Rising?   Arlene Pellicane: (12:04 - 12:59) Yeah, a lot of it was what I was observing. Like what was I seeing with my children, with their friends in the elementary school, et cetera, our pediatrician and talking to other doctors, asking them like, what are you seeing? Because something my pediatrician said really struck me.  She's like, Arlene, a lot of times I'm not talking about physical things anymore. Like this is a pediatrician, right? It's not so much about shots and growth and all this.  It's how can I manage my child? They're so emotional. They're under distress.  They have anxiety. They're on video games all the time. So just listening to what she was saying of what are parents coming to her and saying, this is my problem, you know, and she's been a pediatrician for 25 years and has talked about, wow, in the last 10 years, all these problems because of technology, they're just enormous. So, listening to people's input led to these eight strategies.   Laura Dugger: (13:01 - 13:07) And you don't have to go through all of them, but could you at least touch on a few of these strategies and elaborate?   Arlene Pellicane: (13:07 - 16:59) Sure. You know, you can listen to our Growing Up Social one that we did to talk about this first strategy, which is amusement is not the highest priority. But what I'll say about that is as parents, you are not the cruise director. It is not your job to make everything fun from A to Z. Now you can do that on occasion. That's good.  You want to have fun. So don't get me wrong. Have fun.  But you're more like a trainer, a coach. And so, a lot of times we'll just give all the technology so our kids can be amused, but your kids don't need amusement. They need character. So, they need to be building character in your home.  So put amusement in its proper place so character can take shape. And that's going to be your first strategy. But I'll say a few things about strategy number four, which is the Bible and prayer are present daily. And it's just the idea that when kids see that you have a real faith, that it's not like, oh, I go to church on Sunday, but then every other day of the week I kind of look like any other home in this neighborhood. You know, like we watch the same things as our secular neighbor does.  We cuss sometimes. We spend our money on stuff we don't really tithe. And again, not a guilt trip, but I'm just saying when kids see that, oh, this doesn't make this huge difference in your life. Then when they're older, it's much easier for them to stray away from that faith because it's not strongly in them. But when they see like, oh, my mom and dad, they're not perfect, but they seek God. And when they make a mistake, they ask for forgiveness of me. And when I see them get money, they give it to the missionary. And when we have extra time, we try to serve other people or invite people to church. So those kinds of things. So not just like, oh, we attend church and we're good people.  But when kids see, oh, my mom's faith is real. My dad's faith is real.  That's going to make an impact on them. And that's going to help them to make that decision for themselves. So, make sure that that's something that's daily. And then for prayer, I will be the first to say, I want this amazing prayer life. But just like anyone else, I can go to bed and say, oh, my word, I didn't even pray today. So, one thing that's really helped me is Moms in Prayer.  And that is an international organization. And the total mission is two praying moms for every school. So that there would be two moms that would gather. And obviously there can be more to pray for their children by name and to pray for their school by name. And I started joining one of these when my son Ethan was in first grade. And now he is in 10th. And I can see such a huge difference in how God has moved in my children, in their friendships, in their school. Because every week while school's in session, I am praying with another woman for my kids by name. Like it is amazing. And I remember the very first week I did this, I joined a church group that had like one lady had college age kids.  And one lady had grandkids. So, it was a really diverse group.  I had the youngest kids. And we prayed. And we prayed that my son would make a Christian friend.  Because we're a public school. And the very next day my son Ethan said, Mom, I was in the playground, and I heard a boy singing. And Mom, he's a Christian.  And Mom, he's in my class. And I was like, Ethan, I just prayed with the moms just yesterday that you would find a Christian friend. And it's amazing.  That was first grade. And just about a month ago we had that same boy over for breakfast. And I told him that story.  And it was so funny. Like see how God works. So, he and my son are not close friends.  They have become acquaintances over the years. But we were able to have him over. And to be able to say that story, like you can see the boys lit up like, wow, this prayer thing really works. And so, if your kids can see that the Bible and prayer is part of your normal rhythm, that you care about it, that's going to make a huge difference in their spiritual lives.   Laura Dugger: (17:00 - 22:33) I would echo all of that. I think that life with Jesus is the most exciting type of life. And that's so great to hear how you incorporated it with your kids and let them in on that process.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. Did you know you can go to college tuition free just by being a team member at Chick-fil-A East Peoria? Yes, you heard that right.  Free college education. All Chick-fil-A East Peoria team members in good standing are immediately eligible for a free college education through Point University. Point University is a fully accredited private Christian college located in West Point, Georgia. This online self-paced program includes 13 associates degrees, 17 bachelor's degrees, and two master's programs, including an MBA. College courses are fully transferable both in and out of this program. This could even be a great option to complete your general education courses and then transfer to the college of your choice and save money in the process. 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There are processing fees that we cover for these donations, but we wanted to offer listeners a seamless way to share their finances with us when we share our content with them. So just visit thesavvysauce.com and find the donate page under the tab support. Another way to find it is simply type in donate to the search bar on our website and just click the first picture shown. We are all about sharing around here, sharing resources, sharing joy, and sharing the good news about Jesus Christ. We ask that you also will share by sharing financially, sharing The Savvy Sauce podcast episodes, and sharing a five-star rating and review. You can also share any of our social media posts on Instagram or Facebook.  We are grateful for all of it, and we just love partnering together with you.   Now, back to the show.   Arlene Pellicane: (22:34 - 24:31) Another strategy number seven is love is spelled T-I-M-E, love is spelled time. It's that idea that yes, you can have quality time, but if you are not together all week and you have a half an hour of quality time only, that's not enough. You need to work on the quantity time as well. And again, one of the huge stealers is being on your phone, whether it's us, whether it's our kids. They did a survey of 6,000 kids all around the world and asked what's your parent's worst habit and 50% of them said my parent is on the phone and 34% of those people said and when we're talking in conversation, my parent will interrupt, like they will take a text while we're talking and that really bothers me. So, this idea of love is spelled T-I-M-E with time, just remember that when you're with your child, you need to have moments where there are no devices present. This doesn't mean that from the moment your child gets home from school to the moment they go to bed, you need to be staring at them and doing something.  No, that's not practical. Like you have to make dinner.  You have to pay your bills. We get that. But in the time in between those things, make sure there's time where maybe you're reading together. We just recently got a pool table, so we're playing pool together now. So have things in place, whether it's a frisbee or a ball, a chess game, a puzzle, where there is time that it's a regular rhythm to connect with your child, spend time together and it doesn't have to be this serious chat. You know, boys don't want to sit across the table with their mothers and have a serious chat, but a boy will play Nerf Gun Wars with you. So, like have activities so you're spending time together because in that shared activity, that's when there's an opportunity for that child to tell you something that maybe is on their heart, it's on their mind, because now there's a space to tell you. So, make sure that you are spending time with your kids.   Laura Dugger: (24:32 - 24:38) Wow. Is there anything else that we haven't covered yet in our time together that you want to make sure we hear?   Arlene Pellicane: (24:38 - 26:42) There are two thoughts I have. One is when you're spending that time together, research has shown that even having a phone present, so you're not touching it, it's just on the table. Like right now my phone is two feet away from me on my desk. So just having it there dilutes the conversation because they found that when people talk without it present, they feel more connected, like nothing is standing in the way between us. But when the phone is there, they know that at any moment that phone might ring, that phone might make a noise and my attention will be diverted and it dilutes the conversation. So, make sure your phones are completely not present when you are having that face-to-face time with your kids. And then the last thing I want to say is just have that mindset of strategy number eight, which is I am launching an adult, I am not babying a child.  And men tend to be pretty good at this. And again, this is a generality, but women, we're more like, oh, like let me do it for you.  So it's okay to let your kids grow up. And one thing my pastor says that I like very much is never do something for your child that your child can do on their own. So, something I love to do with my kids is I love to trim their nails, right? So, they're in elementary school, I'm trimming their nails, I'm trimming their nails. And my husband James would be like, honey, like they're in third, fourth grade, they can trim their own nails. And I'm like, the pinky, very tricky, the thumb, very difficult, you know? And so finally, I got to the point where it's like, okay, you know, Lucy, that's my youngest, you are responsible now for trimming your own nails and I won't do it anymore. But it's funny, like I would sneak around the house like when my husband wasn't watching and trim her nails because I just felt like I do a better job of this. And so, as moms, we need to realize someday our kids will go out of our house and they need to be able to trim their own nails.  So mama, you just got to back down. So, a lot of times it's we as moms that have to back away and say, you know what? I need to let them do this on their own because they are an adult and they're going to need this skill very soon.   Laura Dugger: (26:42 - 26:49) Okay, so it's don't ever do for your child what they can do for themselves. Is that the saying?   Arlene Pellicane: (26:49 - 26:50) Yes, that's the saying.   Laura Dugger: (26:51 - 26:56) Arlene, if people want to connect further, where can listeners find you online?   Arlene Pellicane: (26:57 - 27:22) They can find me on ArlenePellicane.com and I actually have a video series that goes with this book, Parents Rising, and I've designed it for a small group or for personal use so that each message is about 20 minutes long so you could watch the message and then you could have a discussion group with moms or with parents or by yourself. And so that's at ArlenePellicane.com and you can also find me on Instagram, Facebook and my podcast is called The Happy Home Podcast.   Laura Dugger: (27:23 - 27:41) Fantastic. We will link to all of these in our show notes and on our resources page of our website. We are called the Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. And so today, Arlene, we would love to know what is your savvy sauce?   Arlene Pellicane: (27:42 - 28:49) So my savvy sauce has to do with someone you have interviewed in the past, Clifford and Joyce Penner, and I interviewed them for my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and they talked about the 5 to 30 second kiss, the 5 to 30 second daily kiss to keep the pilot light lit between you and your spouse. So that is my savvy sauce is attempting the 5 to 30 second kiss every day. And I will tell you, you know, even I'm the author, ooh, I've been married 21 years. Wow, like we still have trouble with this so much so that my husband has literally printed out a page, put it on the refrigerator, and we put an X on every day that we do this. So, whenever we realize, well, we are not kissing regularly anymore, the chart goes up on the refrigerator and we start making Xs. And it was so funny because my daughter, my youngest, had asked like, what's that chart for? And she asked me in such a moment that I wasn't ready to make up a funny story about it. So, I just said, oh, it's a kissing chart for daddy and I. And she's just like, what? So that's our savvy sauce, the attempt of the 5 to 30 second kiss every day.   Laura Dugger: (28:49 - 28:58) I love your savvy sauce. And Arlene, it is always such a pleasure to get to spend time with you and learn from you. Thank you for being my guest.   Arlene Pellicane: (28:59 - 29:01) It's been my pleasure. It's been so fun. Thanks for having me.   Laura Dugger: (29:02 - 32:44) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   Hebrews 12:15 NLT “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”   *Transcription Below*   About Dr. Morgan Cutlip:  It's hard to know where to start so I'll start with what matters most to me and that's my relationships.   I'm a mother to two kids, Effie (12) and Roy (9). They are hilarious, spirited, spicy, deeply thoughtful and emotional kids. I adore them and being their mother. They've challenged me in the most surprising and wonderful ways. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, Chad. I always feel like I lose a little street cred when I say that so, for the record, we didn't date that entire time and eventually reconnected years after college on MySpace (yup, now I've aged myself). He's the love of my life, an incredible man that loves others deeply, works so very hard, and continues to be open to growth and change.   I've worked in the field of relationship education for over 15 years alongside my father, Dr. John Van Epp, who is the founder of Love Thinks and developer of multiple relationship education courses that have been taught to over a million people worldwide. I started traveling to conferences with him when I was in junior high and so, in many ways, it feels like I've grown up in the relationship education field. He's amazing and brilliant and I'm blessed to have learned so much from him over the years we worked together and just cherish our relationship.   I distinctly remember a conversation with my dad over 20 years ago where I said that someday I wanted to support women, but I just wasn't sure how.   Fast forward 10 years and Effie (our oldest) was born and, holy moly, did motherhood hit me like a ton of bricks and I completely lost myself in motherhood (you can read the full story in my book).

God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

One of the most uncomfortable things for dads is having ‘the talk' with their sons. Dads often struggle with what to say, how to say it, and secretly hope they can get by without saying anything. Fortunately, the topic of sex does not have to be uncomfortable. I'm joined today by Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President of Parenting and Youth at Focus on the Family, to learn more about how we can successfully talk about sexuality with our kids. You'll learn about the emphasis on character, the difference between a contributor and a consumer, overcoming shame, and several other tips and wisdom that will help you navigate this discussion with your kids with confidence. Resources discussed in this episode: 7 Traits of Effective Parenting by Dr. Danny Huerta - https://amzn.to/4hd85g7 The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner - https://amzn.to/4ghJohh www.focusonthefamily.com www.mykidsage.com — Get your copy of the new devotional for dads, Following Our Father: https://amzn.to/4eYIc1Q Get your free gift, a copy of Cut The Crap (E-book): https://fatheringourfuture.com/2024/08/04/free-download-for-new-dads/ Become a financial partner with Fathering Our Future and make a direct impact on dads: https://fatheringourfuture.com/support/ 

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   252. Maximizing Sexual Connection as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner   Ephesians 5:21 (NIV) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.   Questions and Topics We Cover: What are a couple of your most important tips for newlyweds? What are your favorite recommendations to share with couples who want to be proactive and enhance their sexual intimacy, even if things are currently going pretty well? Will you define what constitutes a sexless marriage and share  any trends you've seen over the years?   Thank You to Our Sponsor:  Sam Leman Eureka   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.    Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Website   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Books By Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Sex FAQ We Didn't Have Time to Cover Today  Information on Pelvic Pain    Previous Savvy Sauce Episodes with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner: Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner    Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the Three Most Challenging Phases of Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner   Additional Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 227 Resolving Conflict in Marriage with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo  Patreon 28 Re-Release: Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Patreon 23 Her Desires and His Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery Patreon 28 Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma Patreon 49: Story of Healing from Sexual Betrayal in Marriage: An Interview with Bonny Burns Patreon 52 God, Sex, and Your Marriage with Dr. Juli Slattery   Connect with The Savvy Sauce Our Website, Instagram or Facebook    Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Sex is one of the best parts of marriage, but navigating the challenges that accompany it can be difficult. Join Greg & Erin as they sit down with Christian sex experts Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner to talk about how you and your spouse can approach sex in the way God designed. Later, we talk to counselor Rob Jackson about healing from a sexual past. Then, we answer a question from a listener who wants to know how her and her husband can best divide up responsibility for the kids. Click here to receive the Couples Guides to Great Sex Bundle - Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women, and, The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex - for a gift of any amount! If you're in need of counseling, call Focus on the Family at 1(800) 232-6459, or click here, for receive a free counseling consultation. Donate Now! We'd love to hear from you! Visit our Homepage to leave us a voicemail.

Welcome to episode 4 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage. Joining us for a conversation about sex is our dear friend, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose specialization in graduate school was sex therapy, Laura Dugger.In this episode, Laura talks about how sex makes everything better. Wait until you hear the research! With honesty, vulnerability, and a solid dose of fun, Josh and Christi's interview with Laura includes:The hidden benefits of sexHow to talk to your spouse about sexReasons for, and how to, schedule sexIndividual differences when it comes to sexThe God-given purpose of sex in marriage We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.Show Notes: How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotionalhttps://shorturl.at/NtnCq Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestformListen to this episode on Youtube by clicking here.https://youtu.be/NzgcDR013P0RESOURCES MENTIONED BY LAURA DUGGER: Listen to the Savvy Sauce Podcast! hosted by Laura Duggerhttps://thesavvysauce.com/Dr. Jennifer Konzen podcast episode: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzenhttps://shorturl.at/mPQvW Visit The Art of Intimate Marriage Website: Access to Dr. Konzen's book, podcast, sex therapist training, and a marriage video series.https://www.theartofintimatemarriage.com/Listen to Dr. Douglas Rosenau podcast episode: Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenauhttps://shorturl.at/EfLZ8Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau: A guide to enjoying God's gift of sexual intimacyhttps://amzn.to/4cMWVfk Listen to Dr. Michael Sytsma podcast episode: Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsmahttps://shorturl.at/A2pHOListen to Francie Winslow podcast episodes: Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1https://shorturl.at/Mx9Iw Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2https://tinyurl.com/bddr6b58 Listen to Drs. Clifford and Joyce Penner podcast episode: Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Pennerhttps://tinyurl.com/5n897dpn Time stamps:(0:38) Introduction(3:31) An introduction to Laura Dugger(6:00) Laura's journey into becoming a sex therapist(8:15) Disclaimer about the sex conversation(9:33) Specific ways sex makes everything in your life better(11:28) Biblical foundation for sex(15:45) Addressing body image(21:11) Healthy ways to have conversation about sex(27:30) Common differences in couples(31:08) Purity culture, pornography, and rewiring our brains for healthy connection(33:35) Talking about desire discrepancy and scheduling sex(38:27) Testosterone in women and best time of day for sex(40:40) One piece of advice for husbands(42:44) One piece of advice for wives(44:54) How to know when to reach out for outside support(49:00) The last word

We're talking about sex and our kids. How do we talk to our kids about sex? About their bodies? What's normal? And, what do we do about hot topics like touching themselves? This episode is actually a peek inside The Circle, the group mentorship that meets for monthly live teaching. This is a more in depth conversation about navigating healthy sexual development in our kids, through the ages and stages, based on this core framework: Sex is good and of God Sexual curiosity is natural Sexual responsiveness is natural Sexual responsibility belongs to each person Mutual respect and Biblical values are the guide for all sexual relationships   Episodes Mentioned: Stewarding Sexuality Series, Episodes 142-145, here   Resources Mentioned: Sex Facts for the Family, Clifford and Joyce Penner, here Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start, Clifford and Joyce Penner, here   You're Invited: Keep learning with Francie! Join the Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here:  The Circle   101 Course: Strong Foundations to Starting Well CLAIMING A HEALTHY VISION FOR MARRIED SEX   To build a love that lasts, you must begin with a strong foundation. Whether you're newly engaged or in need of a new lens, this course is essential. You'll be equipped to set a Biblically integrated and practically grounded vision for sex, marriage and the calling to steward the gift of pleasure and intimacy. This course is pivotal as you begin to unlearn unhelpful perspectives and sift through shame, lies and painful messages you've received over the years. Learn more here. Donate to the Heaven in Your Home Ministry: Your one time donation will allow us to continue to produce and distribute teaching and resources. Thank you for partnering with us! Donate here. Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music: Spotify Apple Music YouTube Connect with Francie: Receive Francie's weekly newsletter 

Pastor Luke Simmons shares what one of the earliest chapters of the Bible has to say about sexuality and marital intimacy. 00:00 - Introduction02:56 - Initial Considerations09:38 - God's Boundaries13:26 - Key Ingredients for Intimacy15:37 - 1. Shared mission19:55 - 2. Mutual respect24:58 - 3. Gratitude to God28:34 - 4. Leaving previous loyalties32:25 - 5. Healing shameOTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED:SermonsCountercultural Convictions: Sex — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgAh6rkhkIMWhy the Christian Sexual Ethic is Beautiful by Sam Allberry — https://vimeo.com/260695778ResourcesDr. Juli Slattery — https://www.authenticintimacy.com/Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner — https://passionatecommitment.com/**HOW TO FIND US*** SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YouTube CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@IronwoodChurchAZFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/ironwoodchurchaz/ INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/ironwood.church/WEBSITE https://www.ironwoodchurch.org/

Husbands and wives have a mutual responsibility laid out in Scripture to love and respect one another. On this classic edition of Family Talk, Dr. James Dobson concludes his insightful discussion with featured guests, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, as they share why those biblical concepts are foundational to a couple's sex life in a successful and fulfilling marriage. Discover how you can fan the flames of passion and turn that emotion into deeper intimacy with your husband or wife the way God intended. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/707/29

God intended sex to be reserved for and exclusive to a marital relationship. On today's classic edition of Family Talk, we'll learn why that divine purpose has been disregarded through Dr. James Dobson's interview with sex therapists, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner. They share how pornography and casual sex have warped our view of intimacy. Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/707/29

What happens when all those Purity Culture kids from the 90s and early 2000s grow up and get married? Well one thing we discovered is a bunch of books were published to “help” us understand sex and marriage. Turns out, some of them were … not so helpful. Meg and Rebekah are here to discuss. Not a Super Star yet? Today is a great day to become one! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: *OneSkin: Get 15% off with the code SORTA at oneskin.co SHOW NOTES: Rebekah's AotW: Latuza Pajama Pants Meg's AotW: Sam and Colby: Surviving a week at the Real Conjuring House The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire Sheila Gregoire on Instagram Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Books Studied for The Great Sex Rescue (listed in order of best to worst): Helpful Books: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman (tie - scored near perfect)- https://amzn.to/3QvFtE6 The Gift of Sex by Clifford & Joyce Penner (tie - scored near perfect) - https://amzn.to/3FRLwgd Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (tie) - https://amzn.to/3QwSHQJ Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (tie) - https://amzn.to/3QwSHQJ Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus - https://amzn.to/462KSHn Neutral Books: The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller - https://amzn.to/3tPTALB Intended for Pleasure by Ed & Gaye Wheat - https://amzn.to/3Shk3Mk Harmful Books: Sheet Music by Kevin Leman - https://amzn.to/3SdKCBM The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye - https://amzn.to/3tUnsGp His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F Harley Jr - https://amzn.to/4762DWV The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian - https://amzn.to/49bQDoy For Women Only by Shaunti Feldahn - https://amzn.to/3Q9xLOx Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker - https://amzn.to/3Q9xLOx Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs - https://amzn.to/3tOaH0b MORE EPISODES FROM SORTA AWESOME: Ep. 193: Stressed out, burned out and ready to recover Ep. 401: Midlife with Mindy & Meg: The ups and downs of sex Ep. 318: 5 books every woman should read Ep. 463: These discoveries will upgrade your life! You can find Meg on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram! Find Rebekah on her blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Visit sortaawesomeshow.com for show notes on this and every episode. And don't forget to find us in the Sorta Awesome Hangout on Facebook or @sortaawesomeshow on Instagram, and @sortaawesomepod on Twitter! This post may contain affiliate links, which means we receive a tiny commission from the seller at no additional cost to you, if you purchase from them. We only share products and services we have used, tested, and love ourselves! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Bob and Dannah Gresh bring you more advice from their sex therapist, Joyce Penner. You'll get practical encouragement for how to rebuild your intimacy along with a book recommendation that'll help you feel like you're not alone if you're experiencing barriers in the bedroom.Buy the Happily Even After book by Dannah GreshUse the coupon code “HEA” to get a free month of Covenant Eyes screen accountability.LISTEN:Shaunti Feldhahn talks with Erin Davis about “Why we still need sexual integrity” on Grounded Chelsea and Layton Boeve on the Liberator podcastCONTACT:Joyce Penner at Passionate Commitment for sex therapyFind a Christian sex therapist near you at Dr. Michael Sytsma's Sexual Wholeness, Inc.READ:Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaEnjoy: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Clifford and Joyce PennerThe Married Guys Guide to Great Sex by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner

Who says your sex life has to die when you retire, go through menopause, or when you reach ____ age? Let's hear from Dr. Cliff + Joyce Penner, an 80-year-old couple that's dedicated to keeping your God-given sex life alive, fun, + adventurous. They've been married for 60 years, are highly educated, and the fruit of their labor is evident in the lives they've touched. Join the conversation!

My wife and I both grew up in good homes, but stereotypical to most that grow up in a conservative Christian culture in the 80s and 90s, conversations around sex were usually limited to biological reproduction or staying pure from sexual thoughts. These messages served me well before we were married but after we were married, we realized that these models led to anxiety about sexuality and difficulty with our sexual relationship. These issues didn't really surface until after a decade into our marriage, when we weren't so entrenched in survival mode from raising a young family any longer and could actually take a breath and focus on our relationship again. I'm grateful for the many resources that helped me grow my understanding of marriage and sex in marriage. Specifically, where at first I thought spirituality and sexuality were incompatible, the examples of teachers like my guests on today's podcast helped me see that spirituality and sexuality actually go together.  Fast forward a few years I'm grateful for the privilege of coaching other couples in growing their marriage intimately. It's now what I do for work full time, and I hope this podcast, our apps, retreats, workshops, and other resources are helping you build a stronger marriage. One of the common issues I see with my clients as a marriage coach is how “duty sex” or viewing sex as something just for the man for example often limits a couple's ability to grow sexually. Another has to do with one's interpretation of biblical teachings around sex growing up, and how those views are often antithetical to building an intimate marriage. Another has to do with sexual performance pressure. And sexual dysfunction. We get to talk about all of these things and much more in this episode with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner.  As my guests will attest, getting away for a weekend once in a while can really nourish your marriage. Especially if it's a marriage retreat where you can learn about how to have a more intimate and fulfilling sex life, develop closer friendships, meet other couples on a similar journey, learn new skills to deal with conflict, and most importantly to have fun together! Our next retreat is four days and three nights, October 26 - 29, in the Dallas Fort Worth Texas area. Register now so that you don't miss it by going to getyourmarriageon.com, click on Retreats, and then DFW retreat. If you're on the fence, go to the web page anyway and check out the videos shared by past retreat attendees sharing their experience to get a feel for what it's all about.   For more great content like this, check out the following resources: Next Level!: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/ Couples Retreat (Dallas/Ft Worth area): https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat-dfw/ Website: getyourmarriageon.com Instagram: @getyourmarriageon Fun and Sexy app for couples: Intimately Us

Let's lean in and glean wisdom from pioneers in sexual discipleship, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner. The Penners offer both theologically sound and practical wisdom on sexuality, pleasure, desire and growing a thriving sex life throughout your marriage. In today's conversation we talk about: Importance of education, understanding and communication Creating a marvelous sex life Intentionality and keeping your sex life alive through the seasons and stages of marriage Healing and growing from shame and feeling “shut down” and disconnected from desire and sexuality Finding the sweet spot in your marriage to build connection and a thriving sex life.   About Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner: The Penners are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist, received a B.A. from Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, earned an M.A. in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary, and holds a Ph.D. from Fuller's Graduate School of Psychology. Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist, holds a B.S. in nursing from the University of Washington. Her master's degree in psychosomatic nursing and nursing education is from UCLA. They work together as a team to counsel, teach and train. Connect with them at www.passionatecommitment.com or contact them directly at penners@passionatecommitment.com.   Resources Mentioned: Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Restoring the Pleasure by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Sex Facts for the Family by Joyce and Cliff Pennerby Dr. Clifordf and Joyce Penner Healthy Sexuality Parent Guide You're Invited: Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle   Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music: Spotify Apple Music YouTube Connect with Francie: Receive Francie's weekly newsletter  Website Instagram

I'm joined by Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner, pioneers in the world of Christian sex educating, coaching, teaching and help. Join us as we talk about how things have changed over the decades of their work. Learn more about the Penners here https://passionatecommitment.com/ On the Xtended version … We've talked about some changes that are coming to SMR, today hear about what exactly is happening. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com Connection Cards: Our friends at The Adventure Challenge have a new resource! Get 20% off when you use our code SMR20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com The post How Things Have Changed | Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner #602 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

I'm joined by Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner, pioneers in the world of Christian sex educating, coaching, teaching and help. Join us as we talk about how things have changed over the decades of their work. Learn more about the Penners here https://passionatecommitment.com/ On the Xtended version … We've talked about some changes that are coming to SMR, today hear about what exactly is happening. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com Connection Cards: Our friends at The Adventure Challenge have a new resource! Get 20% off when you use our code SMR20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com

I'm joined by Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner, pioneers in the world of Christian sex educating, coaching, teaching and help. Join us as we talk about how things have changed over the decades of their work. Learn more about the Penners here https://passionatecommitment.com/ On the Xtended version … We've talked about some changes that are coming to SMR, today hear about what exactly is happening. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com Connection Cards: Our friends at The Adventure Challenge have a new resource! Get 20% off when you use our code SMR20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com The post How Things Have Changed | Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner #602 appeared first on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Orgasms are a gift created, formed and given straight from the heart of God. This sweet gift will bless your marriage, will bless your interaction with your husband and will give you a glimpse of the pleasure and the wonder that we'll have for eternity with God, where you are lost in wonder and lost in love.   In this episode you will learn more about orgasms, including types of orgasm and the intention of orgasm. In addition to the practicals, you will be given a little bit of vision for thinking about orgasm and realizing that it is not the highest goal of our sexual intimacy, but it is an incredible and holy gift that you are worthy of experiencing.   This teaching is packed with detail and insight. Be equipped and be encouraged as you continue to educate yourself on your wonderful female body.   Mentioned in this episode: Episode 38, How I Pray About My Sex Life Restoring the Pleasure, Clifford Penner and Joyce Penner   Francie is partnered with MyCounselor.Online as a resource for Biblically based counseling, including sex therapy. You'll receive a 25% discount on your first session. Click  here Thanks for joining Francie on this episode of Heaven in Your Home. We hope you'll be inspired by this episode, and feel led to share it with someone you know would be ministered by Francie's message. Connect with Francie: Website Instagram Grab the free guide, Five Truths about Sex

Today's podcast is a great follow up to last week's Worth Repeating episode, “Making Your Spouse Comfortable in The Bedroom.” Dr. Kim and Christina go over some typical differences in how men and women approach sex in marriage. But we know that every single couple is unique, with a unique situation. But the focus is on finding ways to work through these differences, and to make them work for you and your marriage. Tune in to learn to better embrace the differences God has designed between you and your spouse.  Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    RESOURCES Our Lovemaking Survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The goal is to be honest and to work together towards better sex in your marriage, no matter how these answers unfold.  The 2022 Virtual Sex Seminar is designed to help you deal with a number of common barriers to great married sex. We've partnered up with the Dating Divas and 21 other sex and marriage experts to give you the 2022 Virtual Sex Seminar. Learn from SAFE, HEALTHY Sex Experts in the privacy of your own home.  Registration is now open for FaithFULL Online Men's Retreat! Don't miss this chance to learn from like minded men who are seeking to build a life of integrity. Discounted early bird pricing is available through May 31, PLUS we have an additional 10% off for you when you use the code DRKIM10 at checkout!  The books mentioned in today's episode:  A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau  The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner  Dr. Kim's eBook Awesome Sex In Marriage   Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email brings you thoughtful and impactful marriage challenges and helps all in one short email each Wednesday. Sign up here!  Dr. Kim's Daily One Thing email provides a step to growing your marriage, sent directly to your inbox each weekday. Plus we will send you our “Creative Questions To Ask Your Spouse” for free when you subscribe! Our Marriage Changers get each of our new monthly resources, plus some other sweet benefits, like t-shirts and exclusive videos with Dr. Kim and Nancy! Learn more here! Use the Spice It Up Sex Challenge challenge as a fun way to connect with your spouse! The goal is to complete all 18 challenges in 30 days!  

Today's podcast is a great follow up to last week's Worth Repeating episode, “Making Your Spouse Comfortable in The Bedroom.” Dr. Kim and Christina go over some typical differences in how men and women approach sex in marriage. But we know that every single couple is unique, with a unique situation. But the focus is on finding ways to work through these differences, and to make them work for you and your marriage. Tune in to learn to better embrace the differences God has designed between you and your spouse.  Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    RESOURCES Our Lovemaking Survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The goal is to be honest and to work together towards better sex in your marriage, no matter how these answers unfold.  The 2022 Virtual Sex Seminar is designed to help you deal with a number of common barriers to great married sex. We've partnered up with the Dating Divas and 21 other sex and marriage experts to give you the 2022 Virtual Sex Seminar. Learn from SAFE, HEALTHY Sex Experts in the privacy of your own home.  Registration is now open for FaithFULL Online Men's Retreat! Don't miss this chance to learn from like minded men who are seeking to build a life of integrity. Discounted early bird pricing is available through May 31, PLUS we have an additional 10% off for you when you use the code DRKIM10 at checkout!  The books mentioned in today's episode:  A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau  The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner  Dr. Kim's eBook Awesome Sex In Marriage   Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email brings you thoughtful and impactful marriage challenges and helps all in one short email each Wednesday. Sign up here!  Dr. Kim's Daily One Thing email provides a step to growing your marriage, sent directly to your inbox each weekday. Plus we will send you our “Creative Questions To Ask Your Spouse” for free when you subscribe! Our Marriage Changers get each of our new monthly resources, plus some other sweet benefits, like t-shirts and exclusive videos with Dr. Kim and Nancy! Learn more here! Use the Spice It Up Sex Challenge challenge as a fun way to connect with your spouse! The goal is to complete all 18 challenges in 30 days!  

Cliff and Joyce Penner never meant to become sexual therapists.  They each started down different paths, but became "accidental experts"--and have now published 11 books, spoken about sex around the world, train other sexual therapists, and continue to counsel couples on intimacy. They also specialize in helping religious couples of all creeds to connect with their spirituality through their sex lives.On this episode of "The Experience Podcast," we're going to therapy – sex therapy – with the Penners. Joyce and Cliff share stories and lessons from their career, and even give us some tips: What do you do when you and your partner are having intimacy issues? How do you know you should even go to sex therapy? How do you talk to your kids about sex? The Penners demystify touchy topics, discuss the common issues seen in sex therapy, and give us some good laughs. Tune in to hear all about what it's really like to be a sexual therapist.Want to know more about Cliff and Joyce?check out their website: www.passionatecommitment.comfind them on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DailyPassionTipWant to know more about The Experience Podcast?Sign up to be on our Insiders' List to receive our newsletters and insiders' information! Go to theexperiencepodcast.net (sign-ups are at the bottom of the page)Follow us on social media:InstagramFacebookTwitterLinkedIn

Intentional Marriage and Parenting with Drew and Sara Anthony   Psalm 16:11 (NIV) "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."   Drew and Sara Anthony will celebrate 28 years of marriage this year. They have 4 children ranging in age from 16-24. In addition, they run a house flipping business together. Drew and Sara recently discovered a passion for sailing. They combined their love for sailing and heart for helping strengthen marriages by leading marriage sailing adventures. They've seen God at work throughout their whole marriage and for that they are so grateful.    Questions and Topics We Discuss:   Were there any traditions or habits you established as an engaged or newlywed couple that set you up for success? As you reflect back, what are some things you did during the season of raising little children that you now see the payoff as they are becoming adults? How have you kept the romance alive through all these stages of marriage?     Sara's Blog Post on Her Goal Group   Marriage Themed Podcast Episodes on The Savvy Sauce:   A God-Honoring Relationship Between a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law with Annie Chapman    Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen    Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau    Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner    Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand   How to Align Your Finances with Your Values with Natalie Taylor   Managing Family, Career, and Health with Leslie Neslage   Reflecting Jesus in Our Relationships with Rach Kincaid   Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt   Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter   Gender Differences and Common Conflict in Relationships with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George   Being Intentional with Marriage, Parenting, Rest, Personal development, and Leadership with Pastor, Podcaster, and Author, Jeff Henderson   Patreon 4 Understanding Service Marriages with Licensed Professional Counselor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers   Practical Steps for Discipling Our Children with Licensed Professional Counselor, Jen Rathmell   Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau   Practical Parenting Tools with Author and Speaker, Sue Heimer   Understanding and Utilizing the Enneagram in Your Life with Enneagram Coach, Beth McCord   Deep Dive into the Enneagram with Your Enneagram Coach, Beth McCord   Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack   Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese   Understanding Gender Differences in Marriage with Dr. Ted and Ang Bryant   Marriage and Motherhood with Counselor, Wife, and Mother to 5, Aja Duncan   Top 10 Listener Questions Related to the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Relationship with author, Annie Chapman   Practical Life Tips with Blogger, Rach Kincaid   Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Author, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Perspective in Parenting in the Midst of Sorrow, Betrayal, and Grief with Former Children's Pastor, Teacher, and Writer, Penny Harrison   Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen   Understanding the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator to Improve Your Marriage, Family, and Work Relationships    Marital Communication and Intentional Family Life with Author, Speaker, and Podcaster, Susan Seay   Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the Three Most Challenging Phases of Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner   Stress Management, Self-Care, and Offering Grace to Important People in Our Life with Author and Popular Speaker, Jill Savage   Simple Solutions to Help You Prepare For, Enrich, or Save Your Marriage with Dr. Matthew Turvey   Thriving at Work, Home, and Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Business Owner, Crystal Paine   Understanding Temperaments to Improve Your Relationships Part 1 with Author and Communication Coach, Kathleen Edelman    Understanding Temperaments to Improve Your Relationships Part 2 with Author and Communication Coach, Kathleen Edelman   Effective Parenting for Toddlers Through College with Wife, Mother to 8, and The Exchange Founder, Elizabeth Pehrson   Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese   Parenting the Prodigal Child And God's Desire For Redemption With Mother-Daughter Duo, Claire Stanfill and Tindell Baldwin   Radical Business and Radical Parenting with Gary & Marla Ringger, Founders of Lifesong for Orphans   Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George   Traveling with Your Family with Katie Mueller   Fruitful with Laura Dugger   Ordering Your Priorities with Kat Lee   5 Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman   Four Personality Types with Dale Wilsher   Visionary Parenting and Grand-Parenting with Dr. Rob Rienow   Applying Business Strategies to Your Home Management with Susan Seay   Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery   Technology and Parenting with Arlene Pellicane   The Enneagram Explained with Sarajane Case of Enneagram & Coffee   Understanding Men and Women Better with Shaunti Feldhahn   Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein   Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein   Understanding and Delighting in Our Differences with Bill & Pam Farrel    Guiding Our Children Through Their Emotions with Julie Roth   Thriving with Kids at Home During Quarantine with Amanda Leman   Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen   Making Family Memories with Jessica Smartt   Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Family with Krista Gilbert   Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard   Communication and Healthy Conflict Resolution with Kelley Gray   Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder   Powerful Purpose of Introverts with Holley Gerth   Building Love Together in Blended Families with Ron Deal   Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner   Living Intentionally with Shunta Grant   Romantic Love in Marriage with Dr. Willard Harvey   Parenting All Temperaments with Jenny Boyett   Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington   Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Rhythms of Renewal with Gabe and Rebekah Lyons   Parenting 0-18 with Daniel Huerta    Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler   Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand   Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton   Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two)   Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry   Intentional Questions to Ask Our Kids with Susan Seay   Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick   Connection and Correction in Parenting with Chad Hayenga   Temperaments and Power of Words in Parenting with Kathleen Edelman   Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes   Nine Ways to Connect with God with Gary Thomas    Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1   Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2   Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta   Beneficial Rhythms in Marriage with Chris and Jenni Graebe   Inspiring Perspective in Parenting with Kay Wyma   Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas   Patreon-Only Marriage Related Episodes:   Patreon 7 Intentional Family Life with Podcasters, Heather Toews and Heidi Bolt   Patreon 9 Healthy Relationships with Our Friends and Our Spouse with Author and Speaker, Sue Heimer   Patreon 16 Enjoy a Thriving Marriage with Dr. Matthew Turvey   Patreon 19 Applying Personality Training to Parenting with Dale Wilsher   Patreon 20 Personal Stories of God's Provision with Hope Ware   Patreon 21 Leading in Parenting with Arlene Pellicane   Patreon 22 Vision in Motherhood while Parenting a Child with Special Needs   Patreon 23 Her Desires and His Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen   Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery   Patreon 28 Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder   Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Patreon 34 Lead with Questions in Parenting with Stacy Bellward   Marriage Related Articles:   Our Valentine's Day Tradition   10 Recommendations for Enjoying Sex More in Marriage   Rhythms and Why They Matter   Fun Daily and Weekly Marital Enrichment Habits   Fun Monthly and Yearly Marital Enrichment Habits   How Do You Know It's Worthwhile?   Marriage Scripture I am Loving   Marriage: Foundational Questions to Promote Connection   How Does Your Family of Origin Affect Your Marriage?   How is Self-Awareness Beneficial in Marriage?   Most Helpful Gender Difference to Understand   One Enjoyable Way to Serve Together in Marriage   Practical Ways to Rekindle Love in Marriage   Healthy Communication in Marriage   Marriage: Growing in Conflict Resolution Skills   Ten Financial Questions to Ask Your Spouse   Wise and Practical Marriage Tips   Our Wise and Foolish List in Marriage *Bonus Content When You Join Our Email List*   Sex in Marriage, Part One   Sex in Marriage, Part Two   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Marriage Resources   Sexual Wholeness Resources   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

What does healthy sex look like? How do we cultivate a healthy desire for sex and experience sex the way God intended us to? How does sexual betrayal affect our sex life with our spouses, and how do we heal? As we discuss these topics with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner, their insight and wisdom help us realize how we can move forward, rebuild trust, and have a thriving marriage and sex life.More Resources:https://passionatecommitment.com/Other Resources:https://restored2more.com/https://www.instagram.com/restored2more/https://www.facebook.com/Restored-2-More-108863067511392/?modal=admin_todo_tour

Sex therapist and educator Joyce Penner joins us to talk about learning to enjoy sex more. Why do some women have a hard time seeing sexual intimacy as a gift? And what can these women do to pursue the enjoyment of sex with their husbands? Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say that can help us better enjoy sex? Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, NIV I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, The Message Resources The resources below include affiliate links that earn us a small commission when you use the link to make a purchase. Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife You're Not Kissing Enough | Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her - Knowing Her Sexually The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure Formula for Intimacy - free download from Joyce Penner Resources for Adult Children of Alcoholics: Focus on the Family Only You Forever Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs Love and Life Toolbox Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: Friel Ph.D., John C., Friel M.A., Linda D. (older book, but still a good resource) You can find more resources at Joyce's website, Passionate Commitment. Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Thanks for joining Francie on this episode of Heaven in Your Home. We hope you’ll be inspired by this episode, and feel led to share it with someone you know would be ministered by Francie’s message. To receive Francie’s newsletter, click here In today’s episode, Francie discusses the holiness that grows our sex life.  Our sex life is something to be steward. What can you do to honor God with the gifts God’s given you? Read good Christian books Research Christian websites and podcasts Have conversations together about your sex life Is this conversation hard for you?  If so, invite Jesus into that space.   In this episode, Francie talks about: Episode 2:  The Science of Sex  Episode 5:  Sex in the Hard Seasons Genesis 1:28 Psalm 133   Matthew 25:14-30 Clifford and Joyce Penner books Sexchat for Christian Wives Beauty for Ashes  by Shane and Shane   Connect with Francie: Website Instagram Facebook group Please share Heaven In Your Home with your friends!

*This episode includes some adult themes and is not intended for little ears*   Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington   Hebrews 12:1b+2a (AMP) “stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity],”   Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington are clinical psychologists who met and married during their studies at the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology. They live in Pasadena, California with their two children (Samuel: 15 & Naomi: 11), where they have a group practice with the internationally recognized sex therapists Cliff and Joyce Penner.   The Symingtons share a passion for helping individuals and couples move towards greater freedom, aliveness, and intimacy. Within their general practice, this passion has led to sub-specialties in marital and sex therapy; treating anxiety disorders; and integrating spirituality into the change process.  In addition to their clinical work, they teach, write, and speak on a range of topics, including the key ingredients of marital passion and intimacy; and the practical application of mindfulness principles to anxious worries, destructive moods, and other barriers to happiness. Here are a couple new highlights/developments: Dr. Scott Symington – With the release of his recent book, Freedom from Anxious Thoughts & Feelings: A Two-Step Mindfulness Approach for Moving Beyond Fear & Worry (New Harbinger Publications 2019), Scott, in addition to his private practice, has been busy teaching, training, and presenting on his Two-Screen Method—the user-friendly-application of mindfulness featured in his book. Dr. Melissa Symington – Alongside her clinical work, Melissa has been publishing blogs on relational intimacy and enjoying teaching human sexuality at Fuller Graduate School of Psychology as an adjunct professor. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Dr. Scott Symington's Website Passionate Commitment Website Freedom from Anxious Thoughts and Feelings by Dr. Scott Symington Restoration Therapy Resources eBook Mentioned   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Episodes (Referenced During This Interview) Episode 63: Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the 3 Most Challenging Seasons in Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Episode 18: 7 Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage    Thank You to Our Sponsor: Dwell App (20% off annual or lifetime subscription by signing up here!)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and goodies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Top 10 From 2019: #9 Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the 3 Most Challenging Seasons in Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.    Song of Solomon 1:2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine.”   Other Episode with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Episode 18: 7 Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage    At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites.    Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Website Books by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Sex FAQ We Didn't Have Time to Cover Today    Thank You to Our Sponsors: Leman Property Management Company and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)   Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!) Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!    Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and freebies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

If you or your spouse have experienced sexual abuse, you are not alone. With God's help, your healing process can begin today. Greg, Erin and John offer hope to women who've been sexually abused. Featuring Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Today I had the honor to help parents and caregivers have some ideas, guidelines, and input as they navigate through teaching their child about Sex. It's such a critical and fundamental topic to help our children understand, gain awareness about, and eventually grow up to be mature adults that bring healthy sexuality and sexual behaviors forward into their lives. Parents have been given such an honor to help cultivate secure attachments with their children. Building trust and bringing safety, love, and grace is all about helping our kids to thrive. Having those sex talks with our child can be awkward and down right fear-inducing and this is why we must be aware of our own values, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes about sex before we try to 'pull off' the task of teaching our child. There is no shame in the subject and the more we work through our own struggles with it the better we are able to help our child develop a healthy perspective and have those sex talks that they need. God bless you on your journey through this. Here are some of the resources I mentioned: Therapeutic Counseling and Wellness Services of San Antonio www.rhondadevlin.com www.levelupwellnesssa.com Rhonda Devlin -----210-218-6647 (call/text) www.yourbrainonporn.com God's Design for Sex Series, 4 Books by Stan and Brenna Jones The Focus on the Family.. Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex: Honest Answers For Every Age The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner

25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1) - Juli Slattery25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2) - Juli Slattery25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 3) - Juli SlatteryFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Sexual Discipleship Guest:                         Juli Slattery               From the series:       25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask (Day 2 of 3)  Bob: Has it ever occurred to you that sexual intimacy between a man and a woman—that was God's idea and His design?  Here is Dr. Juli Slattery.  Juli: I think that the average Christian couple can't imagine God blessing anything sexual—where we see in the Song of Solomon that, actually, God is blessing this couple that is in the midst of sexual intimacy: “Eat friends. Drink. Imbibe deeply. Enjoy this, because I gave this to you as a gift. Even if you've got all kinds of things in your past, bring those before Me / lay them before Me; and I bless what you have today within the confines of marriage.”   Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, October 25th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey. I'm Bob Lepine. The Bible has a lot to say about intimacy in marriage—a lot of good things—and we're going to explore some of it today. Stay with us.  1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I think you were the first person I ever heard quote Howard Hendricks on the subject we're talking about today. And the quote, if I remember it—you can correct me if I'm wrong—was— Dennis: I will. [Laughter]   Bob: No—no doubt there. I think he said, “We should not be ashamed to discuss what God was not embarrassed to create.”    Dennis: That's right. You nailed it.  Bob: That's what we're going to be doing today; right?   Dennis: We are going to discuss what God was not ashamed to create. In fact, I just want to read about it—here in Genesis, Chapter 1, verse 27: “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”  I don't understand it. I just know the Bible proclaims it. Somehow, our sexuality, as men and women, declares who God is to a planet that does not know Almighty God and all that He is about. 2:00 And I've got to tell you—over a lifetime, you just begin to explore what God is up to around this whole area of human sexuality.  Dr. Juli Slattery is going to help us unpack this today and provide all the answers with a book that she has written called 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.  Juli: Wow!   Dennis: Wow is right.  Juli: All the questions—I don't— Dennis: Well, you actually chose to be on FamilyLife Today to discuss this.  Juli: This is obedience.  Dennis: I think it is. [Laughter]  Juli has been married to her husband Mike since 1994. They have three sons. She is a clinical psychologist / authored a number of books.  I just want to talk about something that you discuss in your book. I've never heard this subject before; but I have to admit I really, really like this—you talk about the need for sexual discipleship. I love the concept because discipleship means training;— 3:00 Juli: Right.  Dennis: —it means equipping; it means helping someone know how to think about life. Now, you apply it, if you would, to the area of human sexuality.  Juli: Absolutely. You know, I grew up in a Christian family / in church. The best that I got was little pockets of sex education. The difference between discipleship and education is what you referred to, Dennis—is: “Do you know how to think biblically about God's design for sexuality?”   Dennis: Give us an idea of one of those little pockets of truth you learned, growing up. Explain what you mean by that.  Juli: Sure. You're told sex is wrong before marriage; and somehow, it is right after marriage: “Don't do it before you get married. Don't think about it. Don't be sexual. But as soon as you get married, all of a sudden, this switch will flip, and you're going to have fun.”  So, that's what we're told.  The reality of it is—you are a sexual person before or if you never get married— 4:00 —you're still a sexual person: “What do I do with that?”  Then, once you get married—if you get married—it's not like this switch will flip and then, all of a sudden, you know how to enjoy this. I experienced that as a Christian young woman. It was like the messages were so confusing. I would say, in the first decade of our marriage, “This area was not good”; and we didn't know how to address it because we weren't given the training.  Bob: I just have to say—I love the fact that your starting place for this conversation is—not how to counteract cultural messages or how to answer: “Well, what's acceptable / what's not acceptable?”—your starting place is: “Let's think like God thinks about this subject. Let's cultivate a biblical worldview and not just a limited, pocketed biblical worldview, where we know this is true and this is true; but we don't see the big picture. Let's get it all out on the table and understand it in a fully-orbed way.”  5:00 When you do that—now, all of a sudden, a lot of the questions that you have get answered by themselves; don't they?   Juli: They absolutely do. What I'm seeing, in working with women, is that the average Christian woman has been discipled in many areas of her life—including her marriage—but she hasn't been discipled in how to think about sexuality.  Bob: So, when you're advocating sexual discipleship—the term that Dennis mentioned—how does that happen in a practical way?  I think there probably are a lot of people, going, “And who's competent to do the discipling, given the fact that we're all kind of messed up in this area?”   Juli: I don't know who first said it, but I've heard someone say that: “Some things are too important not to do poorly.”  In other words, we don't have to have it mastered to step into this arena. We just have to say: “Alright, Lord, we're dying here / we're drowning here. Would You begin equipping us?  Would You begin raising up leaders?  Would You give us wisdom to know what You believe about sexuality by reading Your Scripture with that lens?”   6:00 There are a lot of resources out there. That's part of my passion—is creating resources—there are other ministries doing that—but it says: “Let's not just look at the issue; for example, of pornography and say: ‘Oh, that's bad. Here's how you combat it.'  But let's tie that into the larger spiritual battle of what's happening in our church and in our culture related to sexuality and why God cares about that battle.”   Dennis: And you don't have to wait until—as we're talking about here—you have the subject mastered— Juli: No.  Dennis: —to begin talking with your son or your daughter.  I just have to raise one of the issues that a lot of parents are afraid their children are going to ask, “Well, Mom/Dad, did you wait?”—to which, how do you answer that question?  How do you help parents know how to deal with their children's curiosity?   Juli: Yes; you know, it's a wonderful example to share the gospel right there; because what we know from children and, particularly, teenagers is that they learn and respect you the most when you're authentic.  7:00 You don't have to give details; but if you tell the story, right then, about if you didn't wait: “How I didn't trust God's plan,” or “I didn't know God's plan. Here are the consequences that I walked with. Here's how the Lord met me and has forgiven me in that,” and “I don't want you to have to walk through those same consequences that I did.” So, not only there, discipling your children sexually, you're discipling them in terms of understanding what grace is / who God is—that He can forgive sin. It's those teachable moments that we, because of our own fear, walk away from instead of walking into.  Dennis: So, you're raising three teenage sons right now.  Juli: Yes.  Dennis: You would have that level of honesty.  Juli: Yes, because they struggle: “All of us need the grace of God—me too—and this is how God has brought grace into my life, and I would love to see Him bring that grace into your life right now.”   Bob: You mentioned that in the first decade of your marriage, this was not an area of marriage that was something that you'd say you were thriving in.  8:00 If you were doing a little sexual discipleship today with Juli Slattery—in year five of your marriage— Juli: Yes.  Bob: —what questions would Juli be asking you, and what answers would you be giving her?   Juli: I would say the two questions that I was asking at the time were: “Why did God make us so different?  This would be so much better if we thought the same and wanted the same things.”  And I would be asking, “Why did God make this more fun for men than He did for women?”  It felt very much like this was my wifely duty.  God has begun answering those questions for me, and it's a joy to pass those on to other women and other couples. You know, that first question of “Why did God make us so different?”—one of the things that I began to realize is that God cares a lot about how we love each other. He really cares that we become greater lovers, not selfish lovers.  9:00 As long as a husband and wife want the same things, they can be fulfilled by being selfish; but as soon as he wants something different than you want, for you both to be fulfilled, you have to learn to be servants and unselfish. God's begun teaching me the beauty of working through those frustrations and becoming unselfish so that you both can be fulfilled. That would be the answer to the first question.  Then, the answer to the second question—boy, I was really messed up in my understanding of sexuality from a biblical perspective; because I think there is this Christian tradition, rather than biblical truth, that God has created sexuality for a man and the woman has that wifely duty. But when you read the Scripture; for example, 1 Corinthians 7—before it ever talks about a wife's duty to fulfill her husband's needs—it says, “The husband has the duty to fulfill his wife's needs.”   10:00 I think we skip right over that. We don't challenge men—to say, “Your wife is going to be a lot more complicated to figure out than you are; but God is charging you to learn about her sexuality, to learn how to please, to learn how to invite her into intimacy.”  We don't talk that honestly about what the Scripture actually says.  Dennis: I said earlier that one of the great needs in this sexual discipleship that needs to occur is that we need, as a couple—a husband and a wife—need to get away and get immersed in “What is the biblical plan for marriage?” and understand God's view of human sexuality and sex in marriage. And I just recommend what we've done at the Weekend to Remember® as an illustration of this, because we set the context for sex after about five hours of teaching at the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. We don't move to sex right off the bat—we move to commitment; we talk about leaving, cleaving, becoming one; understanding communication; resolving conflict—before we come to the subject of human sexuality.  11:00 You indicated before we came on the broadcast today that you and your husband had been to a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, and it had an impact in your life.  Juli: It did. We, actually, have been to two of them. The first one was probably—we were only married for, I'd say, a year. The main thing I remember about that Weekend to Remember—hey, I remembered it!  [Laughter]  That was over 20 years ago, but I remember the Women-Only Session. I don't remember the name of the woman who was teaching, but she challenged women to take seriously the sexual aspect of marriage. That had a profound impact on me.  Then, the second time we went to a Weekend to Remember was probably ten years later. Cliff and Joyce Penner were speakers at that conference. They speak very specifically about sexual intimacy and overcoming difficulty.  12:00 At that time in our marriage, we were encountering some difficulty. Their words really ministered to me personally and to us, as a couple.  I love what you guys do with that Weekend to Remember. It is changing lives and marriages. It's a great resource.  Dennis: And it just helps a couple to sit under the teaching of some folks who have done a pretty thorough job of researching the Bible and talking about these areas of marriage—the husband's responsibility, the wife's responsibility, conflict resolution, and how two people do develop their sexual relationship over a lifetime. This is something that isn't instant.  I'll never forget what Barbara's mom said to her just a few weeks before we got married—she said, “Well, sweetheart, all I can tell you is—it gets better with time.”  And you know, you think about that: “That's not a lot of words;— Juli: Yes.  Dennis: —“but from a mom to a daughter, it's sweet. It authenticates it, and it blesses it.” 13:00 I think we have a generation of young people today who need that kind of godly counsel that blesses this area; because the world is, again, twisting and really trying to take it in another direction.  Juli: And because the world is taking it in another direction, I think that the average Christian couple can't imagine God blessing anything sexual—where we see in the Song of Solomon that, actually, God is blessing this couple that is in the midst of sexual intimacy: “Eat friends. Drink. Imbibe deeply. Enjoy this because I gave this to you as a gift. Even if you've got all kinds of things in your past, bring those before Me / lay them before Me; and I bless what you have today within the confines of marriage.”   Dennis: Yes. There is a great picnic in the Song of Solomon.  Juli: There is—yes!   Dennis: And if you've not read that, you need to read all the way through the book.  Bob: And obey the Scriptures. [Laughter]  14:00  Now, we're talking to Dr. Juli Slattery. The book she's written is called 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.  Juli, over the years, one of the things that has been a question that we've increasingly heard from women is, “I don't fit the stereotype.”  The stereotype is the husband has the appetite for this area, and the wife doesn't. “In my marriage”—this wife will say to us—“it's the opposite. Is there something wrong with me, or what's wrong with him?”   Juli: Yes. I would say that probably for couples that are in their 20s or 30s, that stereotype is actually even broken now; because it's so common now for the wife to want sexual intimacy more than the husband does. It's a new norm which is something that we increasingly hear as well.  Bob: So, what's the deal?  Why is it like that?  And what do you say to a wife who says, “My husband just is not interested”?   15:00 Juli: It's difficult to have a cookie-cutter response to that, Bob, because I think that there are so many different reasons why that can be.  Dennis: Right.  Juli: For some couples, it's just their normal / it's their biology. It can be the fact that, in some cases, a woman has a higher than normal level of testosterone in her body. It can be personality. So, for some couples, you just have to say: “You know, this is our normal, and we don't need to compare ourselves to some stereotype. Let's just enjoy what we have together and work through it.”   But there are also couples where there is something going on that needs to be addressed. A couple of the most common issues are—number one, pornography; and number two, I think, men not feeling like men in marriage. We'll talk about both of those for a second here. With pornography, what you have to understand is—pornography ruins your sexual appetite. It's almost as if you feed a kid, growing up, Doritos® and ice cream and then you put broccoli and chicken in front of them, they don't have an appetite for what's healthy. 16:00 That's what's happening with this whole generation of men related to pornography. They've been exposed to it from the time they were eight, or ten, or twelve and exposed repeatedly to the point where their brain cannot sexually respond to normal, healthy sexuality. In many cases, I think that's the issue—where men cannot respond to healthy, sexual intimacy; and also, it's safer for them to escape to fantasy or pornography rather than work through the issues with their wife.  Bob: There is no rejection in pornography.  Juli: Right.  Bob: But in marriage, you face the potential of being turned away.  Juli: And there's no work that you have to do with pornography—there is no waiting / there is no loving, and sacrifice, and communication. So, men are just going that route instead of working on true intimacy.  Dennis: Yes; the command for husbands to understand their wives—it's not optional.  Juli: No.  Dennis: And this area, I think, points out to us how well we understand our wives or how little we understand our wives. 17:00 Bob: But you said it's not just pornography. There may be another factor that is draining the sexual interest away from a husband.  Juli: Yes; I have found in working with couples that very often the pattern that's happening in the bedroom is mirroring the pattern that's happening in their emotional relationship. We're seeing more and more that women are getting married with a sense of confidence and competence and “I know where we're headed, and I have goals.” Men are more immature in terms of knowing who they are, what they want, and spiritually more immature.  So, we have women really leading the family; and we have women that are critical of their husbands—almost treat them like little kids, like: “Pick up your socks,” and “Why did you do it this way?”  That is going to bleed over into the bedroom. I think a lot of the reason we're seeing this dynamic is because men don't feel like men in their marriage. They feel like they are married to their mom, who is always criticizing and telling them how to do things.  18:00 That is going to flow over into sexual intimacy.  So, now, the reason that is difficult to talk about these topics is—I would hate for the couple that has healthy, emotional intimacy—there is no pornography involved, but they still have this dynamic of the woman having a higher sex drive than the man—for them to feel paranoid—like: “Well, there must be something wrong with us.”   But I would say—in probably 80 percent of those marriages, where there is this role reversal, there is something else going on—whether it's pornography, or maybe sexual abuse that a husband has in his past, or this pattern of a woman being a very dominant person in the family and the man becoming passive.  Dennis: Comment on workaholism; because we live in a very fast-paced culture, where sometimes guys are just worn out from their jobs and they don't have a lot of energy.  Bob: Guys and gals— 19:00 —I mean, it is husbands and wives getting together at ten o'clock, going: “I'm exhausted. Are you exhausted?”  I just have to say here— there have been a few times when my wife said, “I thought you said you were exhausted;” and I said, “Well, I thought I was.”  So, that—it doesn't always work that way, but what is this dynamic of how being exhausted can affect your intimate relationship?    Juli: Yes; and the number one reason why women are not interested in sex is because of exhaustion. I think men are catching up with that in terms of just the levels of stress that they're dealing with— Dennis: Right.  Juli: —the tiredness. That's all feeding into a lack of sexual interest as well. But I think the main point here is that most couples do not see their sexual relationship as a priority. Now, some guys are saying, “I sure do”; but I would say, in general, the average couple doesn't say, before the Lord, “This is something that we need to make a priority and work on.”  Now, if you read 1 Corinthians 7, that passage is actually saying: 20:00 “This should be a priority. You should not be neglecting this area of your marriage. You should be working on making it fun and exciting for both of you.”   When you don't make something a priority, you save the leftovers for it—so: “If we happen to have a little extra energy—both of us—at 10:30 at night, when we've worked all day and taken care of kids, maybe, we can enjoy each other.”  Well, that's not going to happen. When you begin saying: “This is not only a priority for us in marriage, it's also a priority that God has given us in marriage,” you begin saying, “Okay; we've got to save some of the best of who we are to work on this—our energy, our time, our focus.”  That can be a game changer.  Dennis: And what we're talking about, Juli, is really a part of your concept called sexual discipleship, which is getting God's perspective on sex. I would just encourage our listeners: “If you want to begin that process, Juli's book, 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy, would be a great way to start.  21:00 “And also, the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway—come as a couple—invest the weekend and have some good, honest and, maybe, hard, difficult conversations about the sexual dimension of your marriage relationship."   I think you said it earlier—how did you say it?—about some areas are far too important to avoid?   Juli: Yes; they are worth doing poorly.  Dennis: Yes; that's true with our children as we educate them; and it's also true of us, as husbands and wives. We need to make sure we run the race together and end up at the finish line together.  Bob: And that's what we're trying to point people to as they attend a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. In fact, let me just remind listeners—if you have not been to a Weekend to Remember or, maybe, it's been—oh, I don't know—more than a decade since you came to a Weekend to Remember, what about this fall?  You can sign up online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call if you have any questions at 1-800-FL-TODAY.  22:00 When you're on our website, be sure to get a copy of Dr. Juli Slattery's book, 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. You can order that from us at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.”   Now, if you've not yet started using the ten devotionals that we have put together to help us keep our hearts and minds anchored in who Christ is during times of instability, like we're in right now as a nation, let me point you to your smartphone. If you have the FamilyLife app, you can pull up these devotionals and use them at the dinner table or the breakfast table. Or if you'd prefer, you can download a PDF of these devotionals and use that. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, in order to download the PDF. Again, we hope these devotionals are something you can use as a family and that you'll find them helpful as they remind you of what is true in times of instability.  23:00 Now, “Happy anniversary!” today to Luis and Lidia Beltre, who live in Laurel, Maryland. The Beltres are celebrating eight years as husband and wife. And you know what?  In eight years, they've already been to three Weekend to Remember getaways. They are also listeners to FamilyLife Today on WAVA, and they help support this ministry. Thank you for partnering with us as we seek to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families, day in and day out, through this ministry. We're so grateful for your partnership with us.  In fact, if there is any listener who would like to make a donation to help support this work and to invest in marriages and families, we'd love to say, “Thank you for your support today,” by sending you a banner that Barbara Rainey has created. It's a banner that declares your home is an embassy of the kingdom of heaven. That's our thank-you gift when you donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or when you mail your donation to FamilyLife Today at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. 24:00 Now, tomorrow, we're going to hear about the breakthrough that happened in Juli Slattery's marriage when it came to the subject of intimacy and sex. She'll share that story tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.  I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.  We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com    

Focus on the Family Africa — God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! On the next “Focus on the Family,” Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Christian Sex Therapists, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner.   Philippians 2:1-11 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.    Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Website Books by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Sex FAQ We Didn't Have Time to Cover Today  Information on Pelvic Pain    Thank You to Our Sponsor: Chick-fil-A East Peoria   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Focus on the Family Africa — God created you to enjoy your spouse, physically! On the next “Focus on the Family,” Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join us to share how couples can increase their enjoyment of physical intimacy, and the importance of connecting every day as a couple, emotionally and spiritually.

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the 3 Most Challenging Seasons in Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.    Song of Solomon 1:2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine."   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites.    Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Website Books by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Sex FAQ We Didn't Have Time to Cover Today    Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sexual Wholeness    Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and freebies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”        

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage With Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner   Philippians 2:1-11 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.   Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.    At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner's Website Books By Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Sex FAQ We Didn't Have Time to Cover Today  Information on Pelvic Pain    Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

What is included in this show: Why is amazing intimacy important in marriage? Why the lure of Sex is so great Marital love making is supposed to be intoxicating Should you try to make your sex life exciting? Could God wants our sex life to be exciting What I think is the biggest barrier to amazing intimacy Why the enemy want to destroy the excitement in your sex life The attitude behind something is actually more important than the action themselves Shift your attitude. Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Men get turned on by something they see, women get turned when they feel good about themselves. -Joyce Penner   -------- The HOW of making it exciting: I’ve released the first 3 parts of a new course I’m really excited about: The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C. I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course! Right now you can get the course at its lowest cost (it will go up in the following week as the 4th part is released). Check out The Seduction Course now.

True intimacy is essential for a marriage to thrive. In this episode, Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner, along with Bill and Pam Farrel, explain ways you and your spouse can develop deeper physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy.

Episode #60 - Dr. Clifford Penner and his wife Joyce Penner return for part 2 of our series on Biblical Intimacy. Today we talk about their book, "The Gift Of Sex." For more information on their ministry and resources, visit: http://passionatecommitment.com

Our special guests are Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, co-authors of the book Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women. Do you want a stronger, more exciting sex life with your husband? As a married woman, you have the power to increase sexual fulfillment for you and your husband—if you aren’t stymied by false assumptions about a wife’s role in sex. In Enjoy: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner dispel assumptions that can keep women from accepting and expressing their God-given sexuality in marriage. After more than forty years as sex therapists and educators, the Penners have learned what helps couples build lasting, mutually enjoyable sex in marriage. Their knowledge is culled from the stories of thousands of individuals and couples who sought help with frustrations and have found relief and mutual fulfillment. In this book they share step-by-step, practical ways for wives to move from duty and disappointment to pleasure and fulfillment. Learn how the woman’s biblical role for sex in marriage is to pursue all of who she is sexually and share her sexuality with her husband, which will, in turn, increase his satisfaction. Be empowered as a woman to embrace your sexuality and find deeper enjoyment with your husband. This title is a companion to The Married Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, also by the Penners.

Episode #59 - Dr. Clifford Penner and his wife Joyce Penner, authors of the books, "The Gift of Sex" and "Getting Your Sex Life Off To A Great Start" join us for a 2 part series on Biblical Intimacy.   For details on their ministry visit: http://passionatecommitment.com/

Cliff and Joyce Penner are the Christian sexperts of all Christian sexperts. The Pairadocs sit down with the lovely couple and discuss sex, pornography and all things carnal.

Hi there! Belah here. Today I have Joyce Penner talking about her story. Joyce Penner, coauthor of The Gift of Sex (passionatecommitment.com) and her husband Cliff Penner, are internationally recognize sexual therapists. In this episode, she gives her 3 secrets to her marital success. Listen in to hear the vital differences to how a man and woman gets turned on.   All the links, resources, and show notes available at: http://delightyourmarriage.com/9

Hi there! Belah here. Today I have Joyce Penner talking about her story.   Joyce Penner of passionatecommitment.com has been married for 51 years and has 3 married children 7 grand children and one on the way. Their ministry began in 1975 when asked to teach a class on sexuality. They grew up incredibly conservative upbringing and they’ve trusted God with their calling even in the midst of some significant challenges with her daughter’s health.   All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/8

Cliff and Joyce Penner

Bestselling authors and sex therapists Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join Arlene for a candid and informative interview about married sex.  What do you do if pornography enters the picture?  How can you become more intimate with your husband through the years?  Find out in this interview for Arlene's book 31 Days to a Happy Husband. 

Internationally recognized sex therapists Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner join Arlene for a candid conversation about sex.  You will learn how to enjoy your sexuality more, along with the difference between decision and duty sex.  How can a wife go from tired to turned on?  Find out on the podcast.