Podcasts about unhealed

Are you doing all the "right things" but still feeling blocked from your highest path? The missing piece might be the healing you haven't done yet.In this powerful episode of Transparent with Tina, host Tina Marx sits down with mentor, healer, and guide Nicole Zeola for a raw and deeply transformative conversation about what it truly means to heal — not from a textbook, but from an energetic level.This isn't a course. It's an energetic activation. ✨

Unhealed WoundsNightlight with RTTBROS"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)I heard a line recently that stopped me cold. I've been turning it over ever since. Here it is: if you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn't cut you.Now, I've been around long enough to know that's not just a clever saying. That's a diagnosis. I've seen it play out over and over again in my years as a pastor and now as a chaplain sitting beside people in the hardest moments of their lives. A man who was shamed as a boy grows up and shames his own children. A woman who was abandoned learns to push people away before they can leave. A person who was controlled becomes the controller. We carry our wounds forward, and if we never deal with them, we discharge them onto the very people we love most.There was a physician in nineteenth-century Vienna named Ignaz Semmelweis. He discovered that doctors were unknowingly killing their patients by going from the autopsy table directly to delivering babies, without washing their hands. They were transferring what they had touched in death into the most vulnerable, life-giving moments imaginable. The medical establishment resisted him fiercely. It took years before the world accepted what he was saying. But the principle was undeniable: you carry what you touch, and you pass it on.That's exactly what unhealed pain does in a human soul. The writer of Hebrews calls it a root of bitterness. Roots are underground, hidden, and quiet, but they don't stay that way. They grow. They spread. And eventually, they spring up and defile many. Not just you, but the people around you who never did a thing to deserve it.Now, I say this gently, because I'm not throwing stones here. I've done my share of bleeding on people. Too soon old and too late smart, as I always say. But here's the grace in all of this: God is in the healing business. He doesn't just forgive our sin, He mends what was broken in us. The same Jesus who said "thy sins be forgiven thee" also said "rise up and walk." He deals with the whole person.The healing starts when we stop pretending the wound isn't there. Bring it to Him. Name it. Let Him into that locked room. Because the people in your life, your spouse, your children, your friends, they didn't cut you. They shouldn't have to bleed for it.PRAYERLord, You know every wound I carry, the ones I talk about and the ones I've buried so deep I've almost forgotten them. I don't want to pass my pain onto the people I love. Heal what hurt me. Give me the courage to let You into those places. In Jesus' name, Amen.#Faith #Healing #ChristianLiving #DailyDevotion #BiblicalWisdom #SpiritualGrowth #RTTBROS #Nightlight #BibleWisdomDaily #ChristianWisdom #PracticalBiblicalWisdomBe sure to Like, Share, Follow and subscribe, it helps get the word out.https://linktr.ee/rttbrosHebrews 12:15 (KJV)Reflection QuestionsIs there a wound from your past, something done to you that you've never fully brought before God, that might be affecting the people around you today?The writer of Hebrews says a root of bitterness can "defile many." Who in your life might be on the receiving end of pain you haven't healed?What would it look like, practically and prayerfully, to take one step toward healing this week?Call to ActionIf this devotion encouraged you, please like, share, and subscribe. It helps get the word out.linktr.ee/rttbros

Melissa Elguera discusses the complex process of healing from betrayal, focusing on the importance of understanding trauma, meaning making, and emotional regulation. She shares insights on how past traumas influence current pain and offers practical guidance for betrayed partners and betrayers to foster healing and connection. Key topics:Trauma's impact on the brain and emotional regulationThe role of meaning-making in betrayal painHealing strategies for betrayed partners and betrayersThe importance of boundaries and resilience in recovery Takeaways:Trauma affects the hippocampus, impacting safety and emotional regulation.Unhealed trauma leads to distorted meaning making, fueling ongoing pain.Validating the betrayed's feelings is crucial for relief and healing.Healing the root of trauma reduces hypervigilance and toxic patterns.Both partners must take responsibility and work on their individual healing.Healing from Betrayal: Understanding Trauma and Meaning MakingThe Root of Pain in Betrayal Recovery"All of our relationship meanings are now on trial""Healing the root of trauma brings relief from pain""Making meaning from survival keeps us in the war"Chapters00:00 Introduction to Meaning Making After Betrayal02:25 Understanding the Impact of Betrayal on the Brain05:00 The Role of Meaning in Trauma and Healing10:15 Navigating the Confusion of Betrayer and Betrayed Perspectives15:15 The Importance of Validation in Healing20:03 Building Resilience and Moving Forward in Relationships23:40 WHT Outro.mp4 ResourcesShe Is Free Curriculum - https://example.com/she-is-freeOut of the Wreckage Course - https://example.com/out-of-the-wreckageIdentity Life Coach Resources - https://identitylife.coachWhole Heart Transformation Community - https://example.com/wholeheart

In this episode of the Soul Inspiring Business Podcast, Jon Cheplak joins the conversation for a powerful, honest, and deeply reflective discussion on inspiration, personal development, business growth, abundance, accountability, and the inner work required to create lasting change. Jon shares how sobriety, surrender, shadow work, humility, and repeated personal development practices shaped both his life and his leadership.This conversation explores why business problems are often personal development problems in disguise, how scarcity blocks growth, and why true success comes from living by principles, taking responsibility, and helping others move forward.Episode Topics:• The difference between inspiration and motivation• How personal development fuels business growth• Why “people move the money” in business• Abundance vs. scarcity thinking• The power of surrender, humility, and inner work• Jon's sobriety journey and “sickness of the soul” perspective• Shadow work, emotional programming, and personal responsibility• Why business issues are often personal development issues• How challenges create the reps needed for growth• Leadership, principles, and staying grounded during hard situations• Codependency, boundaries, and business growth• Meditation, journaling, prayer, and finding presence in your own wayInsights:• Inspiration comes from who you become through the work you do every day.• Business success grows when people are moved forward toward what inspires them.• Scarcity creates blocks, while abundance creates flow.• Winning does not require someone else to lose.• You cannot change what you do not own.• The outer world changes when the inner world changes.• Many business problems are really discipline, accountability, emotional regulation, or personal development problems.• Hard moments are often where the biggest growth and opportunity live.• Repetition matters more than constantly chasing new information.• True freedom often comes through boundaries, accountability, and personal responsibility.• Presence can look different for everyone, whether it is prayer, writing, walking, music, or simply looking at the life around you.Highlights:00:00 Introduction and Episode Framing03:15 Inspiration vs Motivation08:40 Scarcity, Programming, and Consciousness14:07 Personal Recovery and Inner Work18:12 Books, Teachers, and Ongoing Practice24:19 Applying Inner Work to Business29:43 Shadow Work and Facing Contrast39:49 Leadership, Boundaries, and Codependency51:00 Daily Practices and Presence56:07 Closing and Calls to Action56:48 Podcast episode endedResources:• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle• The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav• The Heart of the Soul by Gary Zukav• The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford, Deepak Chopra, and Marianne Williamson• Debbie Ford's shadow work teachings• Gary Zukav's work on consciousness and the frightened parts of the personality• Codependents Anonymous• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie• The Artist's Way by Julia CameronJon Cheplak is the creator of a system and process that speeds up growth and increases profits through the attraction, development and retention of productive agents and over the years adding BILLIONS in Sales Volumes to Real Estate Teams and Companies throughout the world. He is one of the most sought after Real Estate Leadership and Productivity Coach & Consultant on the planet.Subscribe to the Soul Inspiring Business Podcast for more conversations that blend business growth, personal development, spirituality, leadership, and real-life transformation. Share this episode with someone who is ready to stop looking outside themselves for the answer and start doing the inner work that creates real change.Connect with Kara to share your thoughts on the series:Website - http://www.kcdrealestate.com/Email - kara@kdcrealestate.comInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/karachaffindonofrio/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/karachaffin1?_rdc=1&_rdrYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/KaraChaffinLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karachaffin/Don't forget to visit freegiftfromkara.com for our special giveaway, the Dynamic Life Journal to help you maintain your authentic voice and intuitive wisdom while navigating the balance between technology and human connection in your business and personal life.Special Listener Offer: Unlock Your Soul-Aligned Brand with Jen CudmoreAs a gift to our Soul Inspiring Business community, I've convinced my incredible mentor and business coach, Jen Cudmore, to create an exclusive package just for you—our loyal listeners. This special offer includes a powerful private session to dive into your branding archetypes and a 3-month coaching package at a deeply discounted rate.Ready to clarify your message, magnetize your dream clients, and grow your business from the inside out?Click here to claim your exclusive Soul Inspiring Business listener package

Hey Heal Squad! Our friend Zachary Levi is back and honestly, this may be the most grounded and open we've ever heard him. He's a brand-new dad, he's building Wyldwood Studios from the ground up in Texas, and he's going deeper into his faith, healing, and purpose than ever before. Zach takes us all the way back to being three years old and feeling, deep in his soul, that he was put here to make people laugh and help others. From there, we get into the bigger conversation so many people are quietly having right now: Why does it feel so hard to know what's true anymore? Zach breaks down what he calls the two sides of finding truth: empathy and logic and why he believes we've lost the ability to really hear each other. But the heart of this episode is what happens when Zach opens up about his 2017 mental breakdown, the season where he didn't want to live and didn't understand why. He shares how therapy finally taught him something he'd never learned before: how to love himself. We talk about unresolved trauma, how emotional pain can actually live in the body, and why he now believes every hardship can become an invitation to heal, grow, and go deeper with God.And then he says something I honestly haven't stopped thinking about since we recorded this: that we are “infinitely valuable… and entirely unimportant.” Trust us… you're going to want to hear the way he explains that one. Enjoy! HEALERS & HEAL LINERS You can't outrun unhealed trauma. It lives in the body. It makes you sick on every level — physical, emotional, mental, spiritual — and it keeps showing up until you stop saying "I got it" and finally sit with what's actually there. Every hardship is an invitation. The breakdowns, the breakups, the moments that bring you to your knees — Zach believes those aren't punishment. They're God asking you to come closer. You are infinitely valuable, and entirely unimportant. You matter more than you'll ever know, AND you don't have to carry it all alone. Your only job is to take the next step. HEAL SQUAD SOCIALS IG: https://www.instagram.com/healsquad/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healsquadxmaria HEAL SQUAD RESOURCES: Heal Squad Website:https://www.healsquad.com/ Heal Squad x Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealSquad/membership Maria Menounos Website: https://www.mariamenounos.com My Curated Macy's Page: https://stylecrew.macys.com/@mariamenounos EMR-Tek Red Light: https://emr-tek.com/discount/Maria30 for 30% off Airbnb: https://www.airbnb.com/host GUEST RESOURCES: Follow Zach on IG: https://www.instagram.com/zacharylevi/ Radical Love:  https://www.amazon.com/Go-Love-Yourself-Radical-Acceptance/dp/0785236759 Wyldwood Studios: wyldwood.com  Nerd HQ: nerdhq.org ABOUT MARIA MENOUNOS: Emmy Award-winning journalist, TV personality, actress, 2x NYT best-selling author, former pro-wrestler and brain tumor survivor, Maria Menounos' passion is to see others heal and to get better in all areas of life. ABOUT HEAL SQUAD x MARIA MENOUNOS: A daily digital talk-show that brings you the world's leading healers, experts, and celebrities to share groundbreaking secrets and tips to getting better in all areas of life. DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content (published or distributed by or on behalf of Maria Menounos or http://Mariamenounos.com and http://healsquad.com) is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company's Podcast are their own; not those of Maria Menounos or the Company. Accordingly, Maria Menounos and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. This podcast is presented for exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for preventing, diagnosing, or treating a specific illness. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment.

If you are struggling to heal. Struggling to let go, tune in

This is for ALL the ladies, whether you had an abortion or not, we are all walking around with unmet childhood needs and unprocessed trauma. I hope this conversation with Brittany Poppe sheds light on anything buried in your heart that God is wanting to heal. In Your Corner, Miranda Step 1: Purchase Audio Course 5 Steps To Connect with God and Hear From Holy Spirit Step 2: Invest In Coaching, It's time for BREAKTHROUGH, Click Here Now. Step 3: Grab your FREE Aromatherapy Wheel Gift!! Step 4: Grab your FREE Guide to Peptides I created just for YOU.

Listen into this week's message titled "Chaos & The Cure: The Unhealed Generation" Preached by Pastors Cason Shobert, Devin Hutchinson, and Landon Wray as they emphasize the biblical model of shepherding, calling leaders to reflect the heart of the Good Shepherd by feeding, strengthening, healing, and pursuing God's people. Drawing from Ezekiel 34 and other scriptures, they confront the failure of self-serving leadership and highlight the responsibility shepherds carry to care for the weak, restore the broken, and seek the lost. True shepherding is not about titles or platforms, but about sacrificial service, spiritual nourishment, and genuine accountability for souls. Ultimately, it challenges every believer, not just leaders, to embrace the call to shepherd those around them, becoming part of God's cure for an unhealed generation.

For reflective self-leaders who use mindset and journaling to grow—and lead with love, integrity, depth, and intelligence.

Hey, Survivor! Are the people who love you - or claim to love you - healed enough to support you?  I'm talking about a painful but important reality in trauma healing in this episode. When your pain triggers someone else's unresolved trauma, their response can feel confusing, invalidating, or hurtful. What looks like avoidance, defensiveness, or betrayal could be a trauma response of its own—but that doesn't make it safe for you. If you're looking to identify trauma responses in relationships and sharpen your discernment, this episode is for you.

They've changed! They've really seemed to change. They seem like a new person so you take them back. Then you find out they were just playing the long game. Emotionally abusive people can heal if they want to. Those who don't may just come back to fool you again. 

In today's episode, Elizabeth sits down with Brittany Piper, somatic practitioner, sexual violence prevention advocate, and author of Body First Healing. They dive into what it really means to heal trauma through the body, not around it.Brittany opens up about her own story, from being born into foster care and losing her brother at 15, to surviving a sexual assault at 20 and the long, nonlinear road to healing that followed. She breaks down why talk therapy alone often isn't enough, how unprocessed stress hormones get trapped in the body and become chronic conditions, and what it actually looks like to start feeling safe in your own skin.They also get into the nervous system science behind manifestation, why your state creates your story, and how regulating yourself is the most powerful thing you can do for your kids. This conversation is not about getting over what happened to you. It is about learning to live with your pain and letting your body lead the way.If you want to go DEEPER with me, my Substack is where I share even more behind-the-scenes, personal reflections, and wellness experiments, with new posts dropping every Thursday: https://substack.com/@thewellnessprocessFollow Brittany Piper:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithbrittBody First Healing: https://www.bodyfirsthealing.comFollow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewellnessprocesspodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thewellnessprocessYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWellnessProcessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sister, you have to pay a psychological dowry in order to be with me! If not, you're gonna have to pay an unhealed luxury tax in order for us to continue in this relationship.

Did you know open doors give the enemy access to your soul? Many believers don't know that unhealed trauma, "AKA" soul wounds, can quietly give the enemy access to their mind, will, and emotions. Not to mention; their identity in Christ. Unfortunately, many believers have been taught that healing and deliverance are optional or extra rather than essential to becoming whole in Christ. When we ignore God's truth, we often end up managing "symptoms" instead of addressing the spiritual and emotional roots. Unhealed wounds linger. Trauma stays active. Patterns and cycles repeat. Open doors fuel unnecessary warfare and cause havoc to our relationship, healing, and healing progression! If you've been feeling drained, confused, or stuck in vicious cycles that don't align with your faith in Jesus Christ ... This episode of The Vertical Relationship Show, will help you identify access points, healing, deliverance, and what you need to experience victory in your life! Chapters: *   **00:00:00** - Welcome to Vertical Relationship Show with Melia! *   **00:00:30** - Are You Being Harassed? *   **00:01:00** - Rooted in Jesus: Inner Healing & Deliverance is Key *   **00:01:30** - Harassment Sources: Unpacking the Roots *   **00:02:30** - Social Media Rollercoaster: Devil's Playground? *   **00:03:00** - Hosea 4:6: Knowledge is Power! *   **00:03:30** - Stand Firm: Don't Take the Devil's Darts! *   **00:04:00** - Mind, Body, Soul, Spirit: A United Front *   **00:04:30** - Evil Intruders: Finding the Cracks *   **00:05:00** - Saved, But Still Harassed? Warfare is Needed! *   **00:05:30** - Demons & Hosts: Why They Need Human Hosts *   **00:06:00** - Permission Granted: How Demons Get In; Trauma *   **00:06:30** - Flesh: The Winning Ticket for Demons *   **00:07:00** - Luke 11: The Impure Spirit's Return *   **00:08:00** - Torment: The Wedge Between You & God *   **00:08:30** - Root Cause: Lasting Healing Awaits *   **00:09:00** - Inner Healing First, Deliverance Second *   **00:09:30** - Gentle Deliverance: No Shouting Needed *   **00:10:00** - Jumbled Emotions: The Harassment Invitation *   **00:11:00** - Salvation Isn't Enough: Soul Work Needed *   **00:11:30** - Healing & Deliverance: The Complete Package *   **00:12:00** - "Fear Not" Audiobook Bundle + Bonuses! *   **00:12:30** - God's Love: Freedom is Your Birthright! *   **00:13:00** - Spread His Love: Join God's Mission *   **00:14:00** - Learn More about Melia & her Services *   **00:14:30** - Blessings & Closing! Blessings-  Melia's Services -> https://meliadiana.com/our-services Melia's Books ->https://meliadiana.com/books Melia's Courses -> https://meliadiana.com/vertical-relationship-academy Prophetic Gatekeeper Manuscript Specialist -> https://meliadiana.com/prophetic-gatekeeper-manuscript-specialist    

"UNHEALED: A Story of Race, Memory, and a Teaching Hospital" with Jeffrey Baker, MD, PhD by Duke Theology, Medicine, and Culture Initiative

How To Repair Relationships & Create Lasting Emotional Connection https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/relationship-repair?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=relationship-repair&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-04-20-26&el=podcast Have you ever wondered what a long-term relationship or marriage looks like with a Dismissive Avoidants who hasn't done the healing work? Dismissive Avoidants can be caring, loyal, and stable partners. But when deep attachment wounds go unaddressed, their subconscious patterns can quietly shape the entire relationship dynamic over time. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson walks through the story of a client (“Bob”) to illustrate what long-term relationships can look like when a Dismissive Avoidants Attachment Style remains unhealed. Bob had been married for decades before realizing how his attachment patterns shaped his marriage and family life. Growing up with emotionally distant parents, he learned to keep people at arm's length and suppress emotional needs. Over time, several patterns emerged in his relationship: • Difficulty receiving feedback without shutting down • A strong resistance to emotional interdependence • Struggles being emotionally present as a spouse and parent • Lack of awareness about his own relationship needs • Constantly regulating or protecting his emotional bandwidth The result wasn't a lack of love; it was a lack of emotional accessibility. As Bob began exploring his patterns later in life, he discovered that healing required learning to accept himself, open up emotionally, communicate needs clearly, and develop healthier boundaries. Because Dismissive Avoidants patterns are not permanent personality traits, they are learned survival strategies that can be rewired. Key Takeaways ✔️ Why Dismissive Avoidants often shut down when receiving feedback ✔️ How difficulty with interdependence affects long-term relationships ✔️ Why emotional presence can be challenging for Dismissive Avoidants ✔️ The hidden belief that they “don't have needs” from others ✔️ How protecting emotional bandwidth leads to withdrawal ✔️ Why self-acceptance helps Dismissive Avoidants lower their guard ✔️ How communication struggles create overly large boundaries ✔️ Why emotional numbing often replaces healthy self-soothing ✔️ The importance of healing core wounds to build secure relationships Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

Most dads are carrying something they never dealt with... Mark Odland is a trauma therapist who works with high achieving men, and he joined us for one of the most honest conversations we've had on this show. ✅ How stuck memories quietly affect the way you parent ✅ A simple tapping technique you can use with your kids right now ✅ Why doing your inner work is one of the most important things you can do for your family SUMMARY Most dads are carrying something they never dealt with. In this episode, therapist Mark Odland explains how unprocessed memories stay stuck in the brain and quietly shape the way you parent, the way you react, and the way you show up at home. You'll also hear what trauma therapy actually is, why doing the inner work is one of the bravest things a dad can do, and how healing in one generation changes everything for the next. TAKEAWAYS When your nervous system gets overwhelmed, memories can get stored in a way that doesn't heal properly and that affects you more than you realize years later. The "butterfly hug" tapping technique is something you can use with your kids in real time to help a hard moment not become a stuck wound. Trauma therapy helps the brain do what it was already designed to do, heal itself when the right conditions are present. The cage many high achieving men live in isn't always visible from the outside. But deep down, they know something's in the way. Whatever you wish your dad had done differently with you, ask yourself if you're doing that with your kids. That question is a powerful starting point. Doing one therapy session doesn't commit you to years on a couch. It's just a first step, and first steps create momentum. GUEST Mark Odland is a licensed therapist, trauma specialist, and the founder of Lion Counseling. He's also the author of Escape the Cage. Mark and his wife have four kids and live in Duluth, Minnesota, where yes, he has surfed Lake Superior. QUOTES "As long as we have the opportunity to be connected to safety and truth, the brain can heal itself." — Mark Odland "You don't have to sign your life away. Just do one therapy appointment." — Mark Odland "Whatever invisible force is keeping you in a cage, the dad you want to be is in there." — Mark Odland "If you can't muster up the belief that you're worth it, look at a picture of your family. They are worth it." — Mark Odland "Some healing usually proceeds breakthrough. Doing some looking back before you try to propel forward." — Jeff Zaugg   LINKS  Escape the Cage by Mark Odland  https://escapethecagenow.com/ Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here DADAWESOME Book:dadawesome.org/book Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book  

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Beyond This, internationally recognised psychic medium Matilda explores the concept of the unhealed healer — practitioners who may have intuitive or spiritual ability but have not yet developed the emotional maturity required to responsibly hold influence in the lives of others.Spiritual ability does not automatically create self-awareness.As spiritual spaces continue to grow in popularity, discernment becomes increasingly important. Not every practitioner has done the inner work required to separate ego from guidance, projection from perception, or validation from genuine service.This episode explores:• why spiritual roles can attract unresolved wounds• the difference between ability and integration• signs of grounded, ethical practitioners• why boundaries are essential for genuine spiritual development• how self-concept influences who we trust• why empowerment should always be the goal• how to recognise when external influence may be creating confusion rather than clarityThis conversation is not about judgement — it is about responsibility.Because real spiritual growth strengthens independence, not dependence.The episode also includes a guided meditation to help you return your attention to your own energy, recognise where you may be making life more complicated than it needs to be, and begin developing deeper trust in yourself.Discernment is not scepticism.Discernment is self-respect.PatreonThe Alignment Code WorkshopLarge Evidential Mediumship Event Sydney In Person Readings (Deposit required to secure you space)Intimate Mediumship GroupCharts and Channeling Event with Laurie Rivers U7WQEIVMVRWK5QCX

In this milestone 100th episode of The Thought Snob Podcast, Paula takes a deeply personal look at Capricorn energy—what it looks like when it's unhealed, and what becomes possible when it evolves. Drawing from her own life experience, Paula breaks down the patterns, behaviors, and emotional states that keep Capricorns stuck in cycles of struggle, resentment, and self-abandonment—and how those patterns often begin early through hardship, responsibility, and Saturn-driven life lessons. She shares three key ways to identify an unhealed Capricorn, including one surprising external indicator you can see immediately, and explains how awareness, boundaries, and personal responsibility become the turning point toward healing. This episode also explores the role of the Saturn Return, the importance of recognizing repeated life patterns, and why choosing yourself—especially when it's uncomfortable—is the catalyst for transformation. Whether you're a Capricorn or not, this conversation will challenge you to look at your own patterns, your own lessons, and the role you play in keeping them alive—or finally letting them go.

In this episode of the Awake & Winning Podcast, Kaylor revisits one of the most powerful and timely conversations on men's mental health, masculine identity, and true personal transformation. In this throwback episode, he sits down with Stephen Scoggins, a former homeless teen turned serial entrepreneur and mentor, to unpack what it really takes to rebuild your life from the inside out. Even though this is an older favorite, the message hits harder than ever today. Together, they dive into shadow work, father wounds, self-worth, hustle culture, emotional suppression, and why so many men are quietly struggling despite outward success. Stephen shares the raw truth behind his journey, while Kaylor reflects on the emotional drivers that sparked his own transformation. This is a must-listen for any man who feels stuck, disconnected, or driven by something he can't quite explain and is ready to step into a more aligned, powerful version of himself.     Episode Highlights: men's mental health, masculine healing, divine masculinity, father wounds, shadow work, self-worth, hustle culture, emotional regulation, mentorship, faith, personal transformation, authentic leadership       Takeaways: Real transformation starts with radical honesty Men need community, mentorship, and belief from others Knowing the truth is useless without changed behavior Unhealed wounds often drive ambition from lack Anger can be channeled into growth when handled consciously Hustle without alignment leads to burnout and emptiness Authenticity and inner alignment create real freedom     If this episode lit a fire under you, don't keep it to yourself. Screenshot it, throw it up on Instagram, and tag @thekaylorbetts or @bettsnation so we can share the love. And hey, if you're vibing with the show, take 30 seconds to drop us a 5-star review, it helps us reach more freedom-loving legends like you.   _____________________________   RESOURCES & LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:   Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins/ X | https://x.com/stephen_scoggin YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@stephenscoggins Websites | https://stephenscoggins.com/ Podcast | https://open.spotify.com/show/0GS73Oo2UY9FcGvBS1ahm7  _____________________________   SPONSORS: Truly Tallow | https://www.trulytallow.com/ Use code "SUNNYBALLS10" at checkout for 10% off your order _____________________________   IMPORTANT UPDATES:   Join the Betts Nation | https://bettsnation.ca/biz-kb/  Follow Kaylor on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/thekaylorbetts/ Follow Betts Nation on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bettsnation/  Join Kaylor's Newsletter | https://awakeandwinning.lpages.co/optin/  _____________________________   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction 00:13 Men's Mental Health Month 00:30 Stephen's rise from homelessness 01:30 The real catalyst for change 04:27 The five enemies men face 08:12 Why awareness is not enough 09:07 What finally changed Stephen's behavior 13:56 Choice, accountability, and follow through 17:21 Kaylor on anger and transformation 20:00 Borrowing confidence from mentors and God 29:56 Why hustle culture must die 35:09 Hustle vs intensity 42:19 What ambition is rooted in 46:26 Why men need solitude and alignment 56:38 Men can't be free until they let go 57:24 Final reflections and where to find Stephen  

April 12, 2026 Talk Title:  The Divine Invitation - Get Dressed For Your Party  The feast of plenty has already been prepared. You're not waiting to be blessed — you're waiting to feel safe enough to finally receive it. Unhealed shame will decline invitations your soul has already accepted. This talk reveals how to regulate for expansion and gets you ready for your party.  Speaker & Musical Guest: Ester NicholsonEster Nicholson is a trauma specialist, author, keynote speaker, and retreat facilitator with over two decades of experience in addiction recovery and holistic healing. As Founder of Soul Recovery, she integrates brain science with spiritual and therapeutic practices to address the root causes of trauma and dependence. A featured guest on OWN and author of Soul Recovery – 12 Keys to Healing Dependence, Ester is also a She Recovers Coach, EFT Practitioner, and Licensed Spiritual Therapist. Her inspiring journey from addiction to recovery, combined with her background as a renowned vocalist, has touched thousands at spiritual centers and conferences worldwide.www.SpiritualLiving.orgTo donate to CSL Seattle: https://bit.ly/donate-cslseattleFor prayer support:PrayerRequest@spiritualliving.org206-524-7729 (PRAY)For a prerecorded Inspiration Line: 206-525-4438 (GIFT)#centersforspiritualliving #cslseattle #spiritualnotreligious 

How To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse & Break Free http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/narcissistic-relationships?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=narcissistic-relationships&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-04-06-26&el=podcast Fearful Avoidants have some of the most beautiful traits in relationships; depth, passion, empathy, intensity, and generosity. But when core wounds go unhealed, long-term relationships can become a cycle of hot and cold dynamics, emotional walls, and unresolved power struggles. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson walks through what marriage or a long-term relationship can look like with an unhealed fearful avoidant attachment style. During the dating stage, Fearful Avoidants often show up as their most generous, insightful, and connected selves because deep attachment fears haven't fully activated yet . But as commitment deepens in the honeymoon stage, fears of betrayal, abandonment, rejection, or being trapped begin to surface. The more they care, the more vulnerable they feel and vulnerability can feel threatening instead of safe. Without healing, this often leads to getting stuck in the power struggle stage, where: Small issues trigger large emotional reactions Feelings are suppressed instead of communicated Push-pull dynamics intensify Arguments erupt over minor surface-level issues Breakups become cyclical While secure couples move through the power struggle stage and into stability, commitment, and eventually bliss, an unhealed Fearful Avoidants may remain stuck there long term. The good news? These patterns are not personality flaws, they are conditioned core wounds that can be rewired. In this episode, you'll also learn the four essential healing steps: • Work through your core wounds • Identify and meet your needs • Regulate your nervous system • Communicate and uphold boundaries clearly Because long-term love isn't about avoiding conflict. It's about learning how to move through it securely. Key Takeaways ✔️Why Fearful Avoidants thrive in early dating but struggle with commitment ✔️How betrayal, abandonment, and “I Am Trapped” wounds get activated ✔️Why unspoken fears create push-pull dynamics ✔️What the power struggle stage looks like long term ✔️Why suppressing vulnerability leads to emotional eruptions ✔️The difference between unhealed Attachment and Secure Attachment ✔️The four-step framework to heal fearful avoidant patterns Timestamps 00:00 – What Does Marriage Look Like With an Unhealed Fearful Avoidant? 02:11 – 1. The Dating Stage 05:40 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo 06:29 – 2. The Honeymoon Stage 10:29 – 3. The Power Struggle Stage 11:13 – The Stability, Commitment, and Bliss Stages 14:21 – Step 1: Work Through Your Core Wounds 14:45 – Step 2: Learn About Your Needs / Step 3: Learn to Regulate Your Nervous System 15:03 – Step 4: Communicate and Share Your Boundaries With Others Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

Many people are too busy being focused on others trying to fix, save, change, etc., other people while their own lives are crumbling. You're focused on watering the garden or grass of others while yours is dried up or is drying up! You must grow and be of a positive mindset before can see what you need to see. Love yourself and learn your value and worth, when you do you're very aware of what's going on in your life!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

People are their own biggest problem but many don't recognize it! They can't see that they're the problem because all they do is complain and blame! It's always someone else and never self! When you have problems with others, take a moment and check yourself first, because I guarantee you most times you're the common denonimator! Look at the person staring back at you in the mirror! What's in a person is coming out, all the faking and pretending won't stop it! Sadly, most people project, complain, and blame, but they won't take the time to allow inner healing so they can become better people. Instead, most people stay on the same negative paths in life! They are problems in their own lives and therefore, problems in the lives of others! Most of these people lack self-control! It's a choice to be that person and it's a choice to allow that type of person to interrupt your life!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

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When something breaks your trust, you expect it to hurt. What you may not expect is how long it quietly shapes your decisions, your confidence, and even your willingness to be visible. In Episode 484 of Amplify Your Success Podcast, I talk with Dr. Debi Silber about the hidden impact of unhealed betrayal and how it can influence your business without you even realizing it. Betrayal doesn't just stay in the moment it happened. It can show up in how you trust others, how you show up in opportunities, and how safe it feels to grow. Dr. Debi shares why betrayal is a unique kind of experience that affects more than just your emotions. It can influence your health, your relationships, and your ability to fully step into your work. We also talk about how easy it is to dismiss or minimize these experiences, even when they are shaping your results behind the scenes. If you've ever felt stuck, hesitant, or unsure of yourself without a clear reason why, this conversation will help you recognize what may be underneath it and what it really takes to move forward.   Key Takeaways: [00:00] Why betrayal creates a deeper disruption than most experiences and how it impacts trust and self-perception. [03:45] How unhealed betrayal shows up in business through confidence, visibility, and decision-making. [06:23] The connection between betrayal and loss of trust, and why it affects collaboration and growth. [12:13] The three discoveries behind betrayal recovery and why it requires a different approach. [16:55] What post-betrayal syndrome is and how it impacts your mental, emotional, and physical state. [23:59] The five stages of healing and where most people get stuck without realizing it. [24:23] Why "being fine" can actually be a sign you're still in survival mode. [27:53] What it looks like to move into a new normal and begin rebuilding trust with yourself. [30:58] How unhealed betrayal can limit visibility, growth, and leadership capacity. [36:26] Practical ways to recognize if betrayal is affecting your work, relationships, or health.   About The Guest:  Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day, is an award-winning speaker and 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast, From Betrayal to Breakthrough, ranks in the top 1.5% globally. Her groundbreaking PhD study revealed 3 discoveries that completely revolutionized our understanding of betrayal—and how to achieve full healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. Creator of the world's #1 betrayal recovery certification for life, business, health, and leadership coaches, Dr. Debi equips practitioners globally with her evidence-based framework so they can deliver exponentially better results with their existing clients. Featured on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx (twice), she equips practitioners with the missing framework-helping them move from uncertainty to confidence, from using general tools that keep clients stuck to specialized approaches that create genuine transformation.   Connect With The Guest:  Connect with Dr. Debi on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ Follow Dr. Debi on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/debisilber Watch Dr. Debi on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/debisilber   Connect with Dr. Debi on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform  Follow Dr. Debi on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber  Listen To Dr.Debi's From Betrayal to Breakthrough Podcast - https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast   Resources Mentioned in This Episode:  Get Dr. Debi's new book, Unstuck: https://thepbtinstitute.com/unstuck/  FREE GUIDE & SCORECARD: Feel like the best-kept secret? My proven Un-Ignorable Expert Framework is your step-by-step guide to turning your expertise into consistent, high-value client attraction by borrowing authority-rich visibility streams.

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.  Drawing from Jay's research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the pursuit of intensity often fuel addiction and emotional disconnection. We unpack how curiosity, compassion, and wholeness can help individuals move out of relapse cycles and support relational repair after betrayal.  For betrayed partners, we address how desire can go dormant—and how it can be reclaimed safely. We conclude by envisioning what “connected desire” looks like beyond crisis and where listeners can learn more in Jay's new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow Resources: Check Out Jay's New Book! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episode Overview- Moses was powerfully used by God and spoke with Him face to face.- Early trauma shaped unresolved anger that followed Moses into leadership.- God worked miracles through Moses, but his heart still needed healing.- Anger resurfaced at the rock when Moses struck instead of obeying.- Moses' outburst didn't remove God's love, but it limited his leadership.- Unhealed heart issues can cost us more than we realize.Show notes & Resources

We're living in trying times. People seem to be running amok! Unfortunately there are millions of people with unhealed hearts and minds who are out in the world carrying loads of anger, hurt, and hate. They're spewing and projecting and are only one straw away from snapping! You can't control what others will do but you can control what you do and how you respond to others. Be kind and don't provoke people because of your own pain! If they're not messing with you, leave people alone, because you don't know the mindset they're in! Before you try to check someone else, check yourself first, because while you're pointing the finger to blame, you're the biggest problem in your own life! Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

What if the moments that completely unravel your life are actually the ones that reveal your purpose? This week, Jessica sits down with Spirit Daughter founder Jill Wintersteen for the untold story behind her spiritual work. Known for her astrology insights, moon rituals, and intuitive teachings, Jill opens up about the chaotic chapter that shaped it all: a federal investigation connected to her partner, life under constant fear, and what it took to rebuild from rock bottom. Through breathwork, meditation, and deep inner healing, Jill shares how nervous system regulation, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and forgiveness moved her from survival mode into alignment with her intuition. As she released shame and healed old relationship patterns, she found her purpose, built Spirit Daughter, and manifested the grounded partnership she once thought was impossible. If manifestation feels clear in theory but difficult in practice, this episode explores why tending to your nervous system and working with your protector parts may be the key to finally expanding into the life you want. Find the complete show notes here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast   Resources:  Take the Nervous System Quiz Which nervous system pattern is blocking your next level? Take the quiz and get your free personalized reset protocol from TBM.    Manifested during the Return to Magic Challenge? Take our Survey to share your thoughts!   Join the Pathway Membership Use code EXPANDED for 20% off your first month! The Pathway Membership gives you unlimited access to all of our manifestation workshops—including How to Manifest, Unblocking Your Inner Child, Shadow, Love, Money, Rock Bottoms, Ruts, and Energetic Updates —plus 70+ self-hypnosis tracks designed to unlock your full potential. LEARN MORE HERE   Get the latest from TBM Join the Pathway now - Return to Magic Challenge available now!   New to TBM? Free Offerings to Get You Started Learn the Process! Expanded Podcast - How to Manifest Anything You Desire  Get Expanded! The Motivation - Testimonial Library Ready to find out what's holding you back? Try our Free Clarity Exercise   Be an EXPANDER! Share Your Manifestation Story Submit to Be a Process Guest What did you manifest during the Return to Magic Challenge? Share a voice note of your question, block, or Process to be featured in an episode!   This Episode Is Brought to You By:  Bon Charge - 15% off with code MAGNETIC  Infrared PEMF Mat The BON CHARGE Infrared PEMF Mat is my absolute go-to product! I use it almost daily to ground my nervous system, drop in deeper into my meditations & help my body recover after big hikes. The highest quality and most biohacking stacked mat I've seen on the market! Use code MAGNETIC at checkout for 15% off. us.boncharge.com/MAGNETIC   Pique Tea - get 20% off your first order at piquelife.com/tbm Radiant Skin Duo Protocol Sun Goddess Matcha B•T Fountain | Beauty Electrolyte   Fatty15 - go to fatty15.com/TBM use code TBM at checkout to get an additional 15% off your 90-day subscription Starter Kit   In this episode we talk about: Jill Wintersteen's raw backstory behind Spirit Daughter and her spiritual teachings Navigating a federal investigation and rebuilding life after extreme uncertainty The power of nervous system regulation during crisis How meditation helps move from fight-or-flight into manifestation mode Understanding Internal Family Systems and working with protector parts Why familiar patterns keep us stuck in anxiety and hypervigilance The neuroscience of fear conditioning and deconditioning the brain Using scent and sensory rituals to regulate the nervous system Manifesting from rest-and-digest versus scarcity and survival Why purpose evolves and how to follow intuitive career paths Releasing shame through empathy and trusted relationships Forgiveness as the highest form of energetic release Recognizing healthy love after healing relationship patterns   Mentioned In the Episode:  Expanded x Ep. 192 - Navigating 2022 Astrology with Jill Wintersteen (Spirit Daughter) Find our Return to Magic Challenge plus all our workshops and all workshops mentioned inside our Pathway Membership! (Including the Worst Case Scenario DI, Fight or Flight DI, and the NYC Speaking Tour Session)   Connect with Jill! Spirit Daughter on IG Learn more about Jill's offerings at spiritdaughter.com Spirit Daughter Book Pre-Order Link (The Own Your Power Challenge - a bonus for pre-ordering the book - begins March 20th!) HOW TO MANIFEST by Lacy Phillips (with exercises by Jessica Gill)Available now! The Expanded Podcast, from To Be Magnetic™ (TBM), is the leading manifestation podcast rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and energetics. Hosted by TBM's Chief Content Officer Jessica Gill, with monthly appearances from founder Lacy Phillips, Expanded is where science and the mystical meet to help you manifest in the most grounded, practical, and life-changing way.At TBM, we've redefined manifestation through Neural Manifestation™—our proven, science-backed method developed with neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart. This process helps you reprogram limiting beliefs at the subconscious level so you can create the life most aligned with your authenticity.Each week, we take you inside the TBM practice to help you expand your subconscious to believe what you desire is possible. Through expert interviews, thought leader conversations, TBM teachings, and real member success stories, you'll learn how to: – Rewire your subconscious mind and step into your worth – Heal your inner child and integrate shadow work – Set boundaries, strengthen intuition, and reclaim self-worth – Manifest relationships, careers, abundance, and experiences that align with your true selfWith over than 40 million downloads and a global community in over 100 countries, Expanded has become the gold standard in manifestation content. Think of it as your weekly practice for expanding your mind, believing what you want is possible, and manifesting the life you're meant to live.Past guests include leading voices such as Mel Robbins, Lewis Howes, Jenna Zoe, Martha Beck, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Gabor Maté, Mark Groves, and Brianna Wiest. Where To Find Us!@tobemagnetic (IG)@LacyannephillipsLacy Launched a Substack! - By Candlelight - Join Here@Jessicaashleygill@tobemagnetic (youtube)@expandedpodcast

You've been building your life on soil you never tested, wondering why everything you plant keeps dying. The career that should have fulfilled you, the marriage that should have been easy by now, the faith that should feel deeper. It's not the seed—it's the soil.In Episode 5 of Shifts and Ladders, Rion Robinson kicks off a new four-part series focused on rebuilding. Moving from recognizing fragmentation to actively pursuing integration requires excavation. Rion dives into the biblical wisdom of Jeremiah 17 and Matthew 7 to explain why true wholeness cannot be built on top of unhealed wounds. He shares his own story of realizing his ambition was driven by pain rather than purpose, and provides two highly practical tools to help you examine your own foundation.Key Takeaways:•The Problem Beneath the Problem: Most leaders try to solve Layer 1 and Layer 2 problems (like time management or delegation) when the real issue is a Layer 5 wound.•The Deception of the Sand House: In good weather, a house built on sand looks identical to a house built on rock. It is only under pressure that the foundation is revealed.•The Five Why Questions: A practical framework to dig past surface-level symptoms and uncover the root cause of recurring negative patterns in your life.•The Soil Test: An exercise to evaluate the five domains of your life (work, home, faith, health, community) to determine if your ambition is rooted in purpose or pain.Chapters / Timestamps:•[0:00] Cold Open: Building on soil you never tested•[0:50] The Problem Beneath the Problem (Jeremiah 17)•[2:30] The Five Why Questions: Getting to the root cause•[4:00] Rion's Story: Driven by a wound, not a vision•[5:30] The Parable of the Builders (Matthew 7)•[8:00] The Integration Piece: Clean water through contaminated pipes•[9:30] Tool 1: The Five Why Questions (Personal Edition)•[12:00] Tool 2: The Soil Test•[14:00] Your Weekly Challenge & Closing ThoughtsStop performing and start becoming whole. Take the Fragmentation Assessment today to see exactly where you stand: [Here]About the Host:Rion Robinson is a Change Management Consultant, founder of Integrated Co., and the creator of The Integration Protocol™. He helps "Fragmented Achievers"—high-performing leaders who are externally successful but internally fragmented—find true wholeness by integrating Lean Six Sigma, Adlerian psychology, Internal Family Systems, and biblical wisdom.If you found value in today's episode, please subscribe to Shifts and Ladders on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite listening platform. Leaving a review helps other high-performers find the show and begin their journey toward integration.

The decisions we make when we haven't healed and what healing looks like.

Many people talk it but they don't walk it! They love to profess it but they don't live it! It's all for show. People want approval from others but they aren't concerned with God's approval. It's because they are still in the world! When people are in trouble (incarcerated, sick, hurt/injured, etc.), they want to call on Jesus but once on their feet, they quickly return to their old ways, like that "dog returning to its vomit."  Truth is they never turned from it, they just put it on the backburner until they could return to it. God already knows people will do it!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

If someone coerce, influence, persuade, pump you up, entice you, etc., to do wrong and you do it, that falls on you! It also tells you something about yourself! The mindset you have led you to follow wrong or led you to do the wrong thing, which means there is something unresolved and lacking inside of you. Unhealed hearts and minds causes many insecurities, which leads to a lot of self-inflicted hurt, because of who and what people allow into their lives.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

Unhealed trauma often forces us to build walls and recreate old conflicts, keeping us trapped in self-protection rather than moving toward the restoration we need. It is easy to perform the outward motions of faith while remaining emotionally hidden. By looking at the reunion of Joseph and his brothers, we see how "religious theater" maintains distance even when reconciliation is within reach. Watch to see how being truly present in the house of God allows healing to interrupt the cycle of pain.Watch this message on The Restoration App, Facebook, or YouTube or here: https://restoration.subspla.sh/qt4xhn5#thehappyrabbi #restorationseattle #JewishinSeattle

When trauma is unhealed, it can unconsciously interfere with our ability to experience loving, intimate relationships. A lot of “s*xual healing” practices in the west, including kink, BDSM, or tantra, can keep people stuck in cycles of trauma.Trauma is the result of a lack of love. It creates dissociation from the body and aspects of one's self. Therefore, practices that are not rooted in love can perpetuate trauma without actually healing it.In this week's podcast, special guest Sunny Grigorova and I talk about How Past Woundings and Unhealed Trauma affect your Relationships. We look at:* The poison of blaming your partner* How to truly hear your partner and increase connection* What stops people from relating authenticallyYou can listen on all major platforms including iTunes, Spotify, and YouTube.This is a touchy subject. Let yourself be triggered in this conversation so you can uncover what is underneath. Share this episode with anyone who can benefit from the conversation. Be sure to like, subscribe, and comment!If you haven't already, you may want to first listen to last week's Soul Sovereignty Podcast episode on What is Tantra from an Ancient Perspective.Both Jessica Falcon and Sunny Grigorova have free gifts for you; simply click on the links below. About Special Guest Sunny Grigorova: Sunny is a women's embodiment coach, Tantra Essence teacher, and international retreat leader who helps high-achieving women soften, open, and receive love, support, and deep fulfillment without losing their power. She is one of the few U.S.-based teachers trained in the Goddess Essence Tantra lineage, and her work blends somatic practices, archetypal psychology, conscious relationships, and feminine energetics. Sunny is known for helping women stop "doing everything right" and start living, loving, and receiving with ease. Learn more and receive a free quiz here: https://gowithsunny.com/https://gowithsunny.com/the-feminine-code-quiz/IG: @gowithsunny.coach About Podcast Host Jessica FalconA former lawyer turned mystic, Jessica Falcon guides you to embody your power, reclaim your sovereignty, and revolutionize your relationships. Since 2016, she has researched religious history, ancient civilizations, and mythology to identify the core wounds and subconscious beliefs deeply embedded in the collective psyche that keep you from experiencing freedom in your relationships. Jessica hosts the Soul Sovereignty Podcast, leads international retreats, and offers online portals of transformation, including a Temple of Divine Feminine Power.  You can receive a FREE 12 Days to Transformation course simply by signing up here:https://thepathtosovereignty.comhttps://thepathtosovereignty.com/sign-up-to-receive-your-free-gift/ IG: @thepathtosovereignty This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit soulsovereigntyandsexuality.substack.com/subscribe

People make up societies around the world! Most of what we hear comes from broken, negative, and immature people and it's wrong! What makes it worse is it's also received by broken people! Those who haven't yet learned to love-self and are full of insecurities, fall for many of the things societies says. It has led to many wrong stereotypes and wrong beliefs. It has led to people altering their bodies and messing themselves up. It has led to people making bad choices and decisions, and allowing and accepting the wrong things and the wrong people. The list is endless!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

Many people have it all wrong by thinking if they hate someone or if they won't forgive someone that it hurts the other person or people, but it's not true! It doesn't matter if you cause them problems it is you who will suffer the most! You inhibit and stunt your growth causing dysfunction in your own life! Many people never truly enjoy life because of thier dark hearts and minds. Unhappy people are full of insecurities and because of their unresolved inner issues they will project their issues into the lives of others. That behavior doesn't allow for change in your life, and there's no benefit to holding on to negativity, and never letting go of past hurt! It is you who give power to memories to form into negative thoughts and feelings. Get rid of the crutch that's keeping you crippled! It's self-sabotage and self-inflicted pain you bring upon yourself!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

What if the very thing you've been hiding—your pain, your story, your “not enough”—is actually the talent God wants to multiply?In this deeply personal and unscripted episode of the Good News Mental Health Podcast, Dr. Uejin Kim—child & adolescent psychiatrist—reflects on the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25) through a mental-health and trauma-informed lens. She explores how fear, comparison, and unchallenged assumptions can quietly keep us stuck—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.This episode speaks directly to those who:Grew up needing to figure everything out aloneFeel behind, overlooked, or “less than” in faith, marriage, or callingCarry trauma, burnout, or disappointment and wonder if it still has valueFeel trapped in comparison or toxic faith narrativesYou'll hear why God doesn't ask us to outperform others—only to be faithful with what we've been given—and how healing often begins when we stop burying our gifts and start asking better questions.Helpful Links:✨ Ready to get started on your personal growth & healing journey? Heal your inner child & reconnect with yourself here:https://www.uejinkim.com/bestill

Welcome to the Heal and Restore Podcast with Randy and Cathy Boyd—where we engage in honest conversations that help you heal, grow, and strengthen your relationships.In today's timely and deeply important episode, “Parenting Through Your Own Unhealed Wounds,” we explore how the pain we never had space to process doesn't disappear—it often shows up in the way we parent, respond, and connect with our children.Every parent brings their own story into the home. Learned survival strategies, unresolved trauma, unmet needs, and unspoken fears quietly shape how we discipline, nurture, protect, and react. For many, parenting becomes less about presence and more about performance—trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or be the parent we never had, all while ignoring our own emotional wounds.We'll unpack how childhood experiences, family dynamics, and unhealed emotional pain influence parenting styles, boundaries, emotional regulation, and communication. Without awareness, these wounds can be passed down unintentionally—impacting emotional safety, trust, and connection within the family.In this episode, you'll learn how to recognize when your reactions are coming from past pain rather than the present moment, why you may feel overwhelmed, triggered, or emotionally exhausted as a parent, and how to begin separating healthy guidance from fear-based control or self-sacrifice. We'll share practical, grace-filled steps to pause, reflect, and begin parenting from a place of healing rather than survival.Because the truth is, you can't give what you were never given—until you begin to heal it.But healing is possible.If this episode speaks to your heart, be sure to follow, rate, and share the Heal and Restore Podcast. When parents do their own healing work, they don't just change their lives—they change generations.

From Trauma to Triumph: How Spiritual Awakening Transformed Business and Life   The Rags-to-Riches Round Trip Nobody Talks About When Success Keeps Vanishing You've built the business. Raised the capital. Made the millions. So why does it keep slipping away? And more importantlywhy does nothing feel like "enough"? Here's a truth most entrepreneurs never want to face: It's not your strategy. It's not your market. It's what's buried inside you.   In this raw and transformative episode of Richer Soul, we sit down with Smoke Wallin, entrepreneur, M&A advisor, and spiritual guide who made—and lost—$50-100 million multiple times. But this isn't a story about making money. It's about discovering why all the wealth in the world couldn't turn off the "loud fan" of anxiety constantly running in the back of his head. Until one day in Nepal, at Buddha's birthplace, everything changed.   5 Soul-Level Insights from Smoke Wallin: (This isn't about making more money. It's about freeing yourself from what's driving you.) Unhealed trauma doesn't just hurt—it sabotages. Smoke kept attracting business partners who would betray him. Why? Because betrayal was his unhealed childhood wound. His subconscious kept recreating the pattern until he faced it head-on. You can achieve massive success while suffering invisibly. Smoke became CFO of a billion-dollar company at 29, raised $110 million—all while living in constant anxiety he didn't even recognize. High achievers are masters at compartmentalizing pain. Forgiveness is freedom—for you, not them. Smoke's healing breakthrough came when he made a deal with his higher self: "If I can remember what happened, I'll forgive." That commitment unlocked everything. "Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven." Spiritual awakening is 1% breakthrough, 99% daily integration. Plant medicine opened the door. But Smoke read 400+ books, practiced daily meditation, eliminated negative inputs, and consciously reprogrammed his subconscious. That's where real transformation lives. Money is neutral—your attachment is the prison. Once you're non-attached, you can fully experience wealth without being controlled by it. Smoke now channels resources to Dignity Moves (helping homeless families) and SACRED (supporting child abuse survivors)—because significance matters more than accumulation.   Why This Conversation Matters: Most entrepreneurs chase the next milestone thinking that will finally deliver peace. The next exit. The next $10 million. The next validation. But Smoke's journey reveals a deeper truth: External success means nothing if you're fundamentally unfree internally. This episode is an invitation to stop running—and start healing.   Money Learning: What if your wealth-building is driven by wounds, not wisdom? Smoke's pattern of building and losing fortunes wasn't about bad luck or bad partners. It was about unresolved childhood trauma manifesting in business relationships. For many driven entrepreneurs, the relentless pursuit of "more" is actually an attempt to fill a void, prove worth, or escape pain they've never faced. This episode invites you to ask: How much is enough? And what am I really running from? By healing the wounds beneath your drive, you don't lose your ambition—you gain clarity, peace, and the ability to build wealth that actually serves your life instead of consuming it.   Key Takeaway: Smoke Wallin made—and lost—$50-100 million multiple times because unhealed childhood trauma kept sabotaging his business relationships. Despite becoming CFO of a billion-dollar company at 29, he lived in constant anxiety until a spiritual awakening in Nepal and plant medicine ceremonies unlocked decades of buried memories. His breakthrough insight: "Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven"—once he forgave, the anxiety vanished and he quit drinking without trying. Now living in "peace and joy at all times," Smoke helps entrepreneurs answer the question most can't: "How much is enough?"—proving that real wealth isn't in your bank account, it's in your soul.   Guest Bio: Smoke Wallin is an entrepreneur, M&A advisor, and spiritual guide based in Sedona, Arizona. He became CFO of a billion-dollar business at age 29, raised $110 million in the bond market, and has built and exited multiple companies across various industries. After a profound spiritual awakening triggered by a Kundalini experience at Buddha's birthplace in Nepal, Smoke has dedicated himself to helping entrepreneurs navigate both the business and existential dimensions of major exits. He co-founded Dignity Moves, a homeless initiative building villages across California, and serves on the board of SACRED, supporting families affected by child sexual abuse. A 23-year member of YPO (Young Presidents' Organization), Smoke is working on a forthcoming book offering an entrepreneur's guide to spiritual awakening.   Links: Podcast Home & All Platforms https://thesmoketrail.transistor.fm YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@SmokeWallinOfficial Substack  Full episodes + Pre-Show Q&As + Community & Poetry & Essays https://smokewallin.substack.com/ LinkedIn – Primary promotion & newsletter- https://www.linkedin.com/build-relation/newsletter-follow?entityUrn=7055158311603601408 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/smokewallin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/smoketrailpodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smokewallin X (Twitter) https://x.com/TheSmokeTrail1 X: https://x.com/SmokeWallin TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@smokewallin Facebook Podcast Home https://www.facebook.com/DrinkTechnology   Stop chasing the next milestone, hoping it will finally deliver peace. Listen to Episode 477 to discover why your unhealed wounds might be sabotaging your success—and how to break the pattern before you make another rags-to-riches round trip. Ask yourself: How much is enough? If you can't answer, this episode is for you.   #RicherSoul #SmokeWallin #EntrepreneurialJourney #TraumaHealing #SpiritualAwakening #ConsciousBusiness #HowMuchIsEnough #PlantMedicine #TraumaToTriumph #InnerPeace #NonAttachment #SuccessToSignificance #Forgiveness #EntrepreneurMindset #PurposeOverProfit   Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@richersoul Richer Soul Life Beyond Money. You got rich, now what? Let's talk about your journey to more a purposeful, intentional, amazing life. Where are you going to go and how are you going to get there? Let's figure that out together. At the core is the financial well-being to be able to do what you want, when you want, how you want. It's about personal freedom! Thanks for listening!   Show Sponsor: http://profitcomesfirst.com/   Schedule your free no obligation call: https://bookme.name/rockyl/lite/intro-appointment-15-minutes   If you like the show please leave a review on iTunes: http://bit.do/richersoul   https://www.facebook.com/richersoul http://richersoul.com/ rocky@richersoul.com   Some music provided by Junan from Junan Podcast   Any financial advice is for educational purposes only and you should consult with an expert for your specific needs.

In this episode, we're talking about nuance, because healing is not this strict “either you're healed or you're unhealed” type of thing that we see presented on the internet and on social media. Life is way more layered than that.You can be doing the work, and still catch the shade.You can be growing...and still check negativity.You can be healing...and still have boundaries.Setting boundaries, speaking up, and protecting your peace is not automatically "going backwards", it can also be a sign that you're evolving.FILL OUT THE PODCAST SURVEY HERE: https://forms.gle/adxbnMAeejfApM1T7Join my email list: spiritualhomegirl.ck.page/emailSubscribe to Spiritual Homegirl's YouTube here: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UClfzaF9Vr-xEPh9WBaEBhww?sub_confirmation=1Follow me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/spiritualhomegirl/Follow Make Peace With the Day: https://instagram.com/makepeacewiththedayCheck me out on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/SpiritualHomegirl/

Back on The Rewrite, Oona Metz, LICSW — a nationally recognized therapist and divorce expert who has spent the last 30 years helping women navigate the emotional and practical challenges of divorce. Oona is the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women — a compassionate, empowering roadmap for healing, growth, and rediscovering yourself after divorce. Drawing from decades of experience and her own personal journey, Oona brings deep empathy and insight to her work. She leads weekly in-person divorce support groups and developed the five-phase model of divorce grief — a framework that helps women understand where they are in the process and what it takes to move forward with clarity and strength. Her mission is simple but powerful: to help women feel seen, heard, and supported as they heal and grow through one of life's biggest transitions. Her new book, Unhitched — is available January 13th on Amazon and at local bookstores. Follow Oona:https://www.instagram.com/oonametz/ https://www.facebook.com/womennavigatingdivorce/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/oona-metz-licsw-cgp-6a14a41b/ https://www.oonametz.com

This is an invitation to wholeness in a world that is still healing.Welcome to the Mind-Blowing Happiness® Podcast, a space for embodied emotional mastery, authentic leadership, and radiant joy. In this solo episode, Trish Ahjel Roberts opens Season 6 by exploring Step 1 of the Mind-Blowing Happiness® framework: Healing.At a time when the world feels overwhelmed, polarized, and unsteady, Trish reflects on what it truly means to heal without waiting for everything around us to be healed first. This conversation is a gentle yet grounded invitation to:Reframe healing as an ongoing practice, not a destinationUnderstand why healing is the foundation for joy, leadership, and wholenessExplore how to stay connected to yourself in an unhealed worldEach month this season, we'll explore one step to Mind-Blowing Happiness®, offering reflections, embodiment, and wisdom to support your personal growth and leadership from the inside out.✨ Next episode: Spirituality—why it matters for wholeness and inner peace.Learn more about Trish's coaching, books, workshops, and keynote talks at TrishAhjelRoberts.com. Click “Membership” to join the free Mind-Blowing Happiness® community.Follow @MindBlowingHappiness on Instagram and TikTok and connect with Trish Ahjel Roberts on LinkedIn and Facebook.ep62/s6/ep1

“The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting. What to listen for: Maternal health is crucial for every human being The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting “Unhealed wounds don't disappear when you become a parent; they show up.” Parenting activates old patterns you didn't even know were still there Triggers often come from your past, not your child's behavior Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.” Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation. Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience A regulated parent creates a regulated environment About Anne Wallen Anne is a respected figure in women's health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide. https://www.maternitywise.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/ https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.91)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now. Anne Wallen (00:10.602)I’m good, how are you? Nick McGowan (00:25.614)So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Anne Wallen (00:34.382)Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the… An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17. and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is This is gonna be a fun one. Nick McGowan (02:29.229)Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child. Anne Wallen (02:50.412)Hmm. Nick McGowan (02:59.039)And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean? Anne Wallen (03:05.325)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (03:13.356)Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So. Nick McGowan (04:22.764)And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know? Anne Wallen (04:24.863)No! Anne Wallen (04:37.355)Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean, Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do. That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:43.52)could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach. And here we are, we’re like, you and my mom at a party or whatever. It’s like, but I, one of the big reason why I wanted to have you on is to be able to talk about how the psychology of that ties into not just people that have kids, but people that were kids. Cause even your emails back in the conversations, you were like, yeah, everybody was born. And then what we do from there and how that all ties into it. So why don’t, why don’t you kind of get us started off with like, not only what you see with, people that are having kids. but also the people that are concerned about having children and what that ties into just the rest of life. Anne Wallen (06:53.121)Well, kind of as we were talking about before we started recording, getting ready for having a baby, well, having a baby, you really need to put in the work, you need to prepare. And it’s not just about eating the right foods or avoiding the wrong foods and getting enough water and whatever else. There’s a lot of psychological preparation that people need to do. And we all walk around with our own traumas. We all walk around with our own disappointments and wounds. you’re gonna carry that into your parenting. And if there is one situation that you’re gonna find yourself in as kind of just this automatic robot, it’s as a parent. You don’t realize all these scripts and all this just unprepared, you know, in the moment reactions that you’re going to have to your own child until you’re there. And then you’re like, Nick McGowan (07:26.218)Hmm. Anne Wallen (07:52.961)I sound just like my mom or my dad used to say that and I still sometimes even you know I’m on kid number six at this point she’s nine and I still will say things you know two wrongs don’t make her right or whatever little sayings that you grow up with and I realize wow I got that from this scenario or I learned that during this moment when I got in trouble or whatever and it can it can really make a difference Nick McGowan (07:54.515)Ha ha. Anne Wallen (08:22.669)being aware and intentional with your parenting. And when I say aware, I just mean if you’ve got wounds or if you’ve got trauma or if your parents were abusive, if there was something else going on, you know, in those immediate, the first weeks, months of your life, it is really, really important to meet that baby’s needs immediately or as quickly as possible, right? So, There are things like crying it out. There are things like scheduled feeds. And they’re actually, we’re not just talking about a physical experience that this baby’s going through. It’s a psychological experience. And so we can get deeper into that if you want to, but a lot of people, they’ll hear from their parents when they become parents, they’ll hear things like, put the baby down, don’t spoil that baby. Or, they should be sleeping all night and they should be doing this or they should be doing that. You know, we let that baby cry it out. We gave you formula. You turned out fine. Whatever it is, right? Whatever this thing is that might be the response to whatever the parents are wanting to do. You know, the grandparents and well-meaning aunts and uncles, they’ll have some retort usually, right? And advice from your elders is always helpful. And having, just having elders around to… support your efforts is beautiful and helpful, but sometimes they don’t know what’s best for your baby. And the only person who really knows what’s best for the baby is the parent, especially the parent who’s bonded to the baby. Usually that’s the mom when they’re really, really small. And that’s usually because there’s breastfeeding going on or whatever it is, the main caretaking duties usually falls to the mother. So if that mother is well attuned to the baby, baby’s getting their needs met, this is teaching the baby that they can trust, right? It’s teaching the baby about relationships. It’s teaching the baby that I’m valuable. I am worth listening to. I am protected. I’m safe. All these different things, right? If you’ve got a baby who is routinely put down after, you fed for 15 minutes, now we put you down. You cry? Too bad, baby. We read the book that said, Anne Wallen (10:47.18)put you down, right? Or we heard from grandpa that said put you down, whatever it is. That baby crying so desperately, that’s their only way to communicate that they have a need. So if they’re crying so desperately, I’m still hungry, I’m cold, I just want to be held, I’m scared, I’m alone, whatever it is, I have gas pains, whatever it is, they’re trying to communicate that they have a need. And if we ignore that, if we say, no, I’m going to spoil the child if I pick them up again. This is programming their brain, right? This is programming their mind to say, no matter how hard I cry, I’m going to be ignored. What does that, for you, Nick, what does that translate to? What does that, what would that tell you? Nick McGowan (11:17.928)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (11:31.148)Trauma as a little kid, you’re just instantly, you’re shoved to the side it feels. And that’s, I think that’s an interesting thing to be able to point out, because look, babies are not gonna listen to this podcast. They will when they get older, but like they’re not listening right now. In fact, none of these episodes are for children at all, primarily because of my mouth at times, I’m sure. But the parents, or the new parents, or the people that are thinking about having kids. Anne Wallen (11:34.102)Yeah. Nick McGowan (11:58.088)or the people that feel like they have to have kids because the system tells them, their family system, you have to, which that’s another thing that ties into the psychology of it. Like if somebody says, you, hey, you have to have a kid because you have to keep our lineage going. You have to keep our last name going. You have to do this. You have to do that. okay. And then they go and have the kid and then put everything onto that kid or there’s already some pain that goes along with it. I think the big thing you pointed out that stood out to me and especially for the show, Anne Wallen (12:01.015)Mm. Anne Wallen (12:14.614)Hmm. Nick McGowan (12:27.61)is the work that has to be done before that. I’ve talked to different people that have had kids and they’re like, hey, we planned. We did all these things. We read all these books. We then got pregnant when we wanted to and shit was still crazy because they’re parents and like life and people and like things happen. And then there are people that just accidentally had a child and you know, it’s all, it doesn’t matter if you plan it or not plan it, it seems, but going into a big situation of having a child and Anne Wallen (12:30.572)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (12:57.552)sticking it through for at least 18 years or so, it doesn’t seem to me like a lot of people really think about the work they need to do until like after the fact. Like I met with somebody recently who’s got a young kid and he was offered to go on tour with some band and he was like, I can’t because I am attached and I can’t leave my child. And I can see that he’s such a good dad. But he had said to me, like, things changed as soon as I had the kid, as soon as the kid came into my life. And I hear that from a lot of different people. Like as soon as this happened, then I changed. I stopped smoking or I stopped doing this or I started doing more of whatever it was. And that’s great. But what about the deeper work that’s unseen? Like the trauma that comes from your parents or your parents’ parents or the things that happened that you were a kid that was just crying because you wanted to be held and your parents are like, I can’t. Shut up in there. How does that then tie into we as people that could potentially then have kids and not see that stuff needs to be worked on? Anne Wallen (13:54.688)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (14:05.161)Yeah, so having a baby is a great motivator for lifestyle changes, right? So if you are, if you have unhealthy habits, having your baby might make you think about your mortality and how, you need to eat better or stop smoking or whatever it is so that you can live longer so you can be there for your child. When you are going through pregnancy, even, you know, no matter what the family dynamic, mom, mom, mom, dad, whatever you’ve got going on. both partners, or even if you’ve got a single mom going on, the person who is in the relationship thinking about when this baby gets here, what are we gonna do? The kind of deeper work that they really need to be doing includes psychological preparation for just how they feel about themselves, number one, just simply because whether they feel worthy, whether they feel rejected by their parents, if there’s any kind of abandonment issues, Which abandonment issues start with, you know, crying it out in the crib? We, let me go, can I get a little sciency with you for just a second on that? So, crying it out, they’ve actually done brain scans and they see that crying it out creates a change in the brain structure. So our frontal lobe is the solutions, you know, forward thinking we call it, right? The creative, ambitious forebrain. The hindbrain is the survival primal, Nick McGowan (15:10.31)Please. Anne Wallen (15:30.955)aggressive, it’s the hunter-gatherer brain. And when you have a baby who is, who their needs are met consistently, their forebrain grows and their hindbrain does not grow. Not that it doesn’t grow, but it doesn’t, the balance is more forward-thinker, right? A baby who is left to cry it out, a baby whose needs are not met consistently. And that’s this, we’re not talking about a baby who has like just a crying spell and we put the baby down. for safety’s sake, you know, and we walk away so could take a breath and then we come back, you know, we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about a routinely left to cry baby. That hind brain actually grows and the forebrain can shrink. So now you’ve got a kid who’s got the more aggressive, primal survival skills, more violence prone, more prone to, you know, ADD and some other issues that are, you know, really all about them feeling that they need to survive, right? It’s just such primal, instinctual behavior. So now you have a kid who physically, chemically is growing up with this need to survive, this like fear, right? It’s like I’m on alert, I’m hypervigilant all the time. Now you make them a parent, right? They go through life and they probably have Nick McGowan (16:55.877)Hmph. Anne Wallen (16:58.187)plenty of issues, right, because of that hypervigilance, because of that, you know, fear that’s kind of like their root chakras in like a high alert mode all the time. So you get into this parenting situation, you’ve got a baby coming, right? You need to be able to say, I’m okay, I can advocate for my needs, I can prepare for the birth experience itself, because the birth experience could be traumatizing. And then, how am gonna care for this baby once it’s out, knowing that, or subconsciously, knowing that they were treated with a neglectful-ish, not that parents always are neglectful intentionally, but they don’t always know that the baby is just trying to communicate. And there’s a lot of, we’re not gonna go religion, but there’s a lot of religious. Nick McGowan (17:47.951)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (17:54.09)books out there on parenting that talk about babies, you know, being manipulators and things like that. You got to train them to be good, right? Which is ridiculous. anyway, that in itself is traumatizing just to just to read that if I was a, know. Yes. Yeah. Nick McGowan (18:09.252)Yeah, basically calling your baby a little demon. Don’t you do it little demon. It’s like, I just want some love. I don’t understand. Anne Wallen (18:17.267)Honestly, and there are books out there that have caused babies to become really, really, really sick and even pass away because they’re telling parents, like, you need to have this regimented feeding schedule and you shouldn’t be holding your baby, etc. And, you know, the abandonment issue is huge in our culture. If you go to other places in the world, you’re not going to see people with abandonment issues quite like you do in America. But in America, we have the Juvenile Manufacturing Association who really, really promoted getting babies out of your bed and using all these furniture pieces, right, for baby swings and cribs and, you know, bouncy seats and all these things that are not the mother, not the parent. And the only thing that a really a baby wants when they come out is that relationship. They are looking for a face when they come out. They’re looking for a face and if they don’t get a face to connect to, they’re three months behind in their developmental milestones on average. So the face, the connection with another human being is so important. It’s so important just to their brain development. It’s important to their psychological development. And it’s really important for the parents’ development too because when you create this bond, There’s something in you that softens. And even if you’ve had a ton of trauma, it’s like this little, I don’t know, it’s like this little knowing wakes up inside of you. And you just know, this instinct just shows up and kind of helps guide you in how to meet the baby’s needs in a way that’s healthy and appropriate for the baby. And a lot of times when you look at and you study mom-baby dyads, there’s this, unspoken language between them, right? It happens during sleep. Dr. James McKenna wrote a bunch of different studies over the last 20 to 30 years on watching moms and babies sleep. And when babies, know, vitals go too low, mom stirs and sometimes they even wake up and touch the baby and the baby perks back up again. It’s very SIDS preventive, you know? So like, Nick McGowan (20:41.197)Hmm. Anne Wallen (20:42.58)there’s these things that we have these superpower abilities to connect with other human beings and we don’t even realize it. And the thing that oftentimes gets in the way of that is trauma, other people’s well-meaning but bad advice. And how do we like get ready for all of that? So that’s where pregnancy, thank goodness we have nine months. to get ready for when the baby comes, right? We have nine months to work through our core hurts and figure out how did our parents’ parenting style affect us? And do we want to repeat that or do we want to have a different parenting style, right? And what is best for a baby? And a lot of times, you know, when you just read mainstream information, you know, there’s some real… Nick McGowan (21:10.945)Hahaha Anne Wallen (21:37.873)Sorry, Nick, I know you’re a man, but there are some masculine solutions or frameworks for very feminine processes and that’s not always the best way to go, right? And you can say your baby needs to eat every three hours. We wanna keep baby alive, right? So we’re gonna make sure baby eats every three hours. But what if baby’s hungry before that? You can’t make them wait. Hunger is one of those things that psychologically, if you are left to be hungry, Nick McGowan (21:48.419)Does it make sense? Anne Wallen (22:08.154)It actually causes so much stress on the body. Adrenaline goes up, cortisol goes up, like all these things, chemical reactions that really are trauma reactions. If you look at it that way, they happen in the body when you’re left to be hungry. So just something as simple as the baby needs to be fed can cause lifelong impairments, psychologically speaking. Nick McGowan (22:36.93)I think something to point out here for people that are listening to this, and if you’re about to have a kid, don’t let her scare you off the ledge. Like go do it because it seems like, look, no matter what happens, people are going to make the decisions they’re going to make. But I think the biggest thing you pointed out is the human aspect of it. That the mom or the parents just in general that are connected with their children can feel that, can be connected with their kids. Anne Wallen (22:39.22)Yeah. Anne Wallen (22:46.419)No! Anne Wallen (22:55.732)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:02.664)Yes. Nick McGowan (23:05.474)The fact that you pointed out like, well, capitalistic society was like, how do we make money off this? Well, we want to get the kid out of the bed. We can get them into a whole plethora of their own little suite over here and we can make a whole bunch of money and we might as well push this thing. There’s information that comes from the external world like that. Like, oh, well, baby shouldn’t be in your bed for longer than X amount of time. We should have a crib and like all people have that stuff basically when they have their shower at this point and they get it and they… Anne Wallen (23:17.962)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (23:35.381)have like three to $10,000 worth of stuff that just sitting in there for the baby, when the baby probably needs to be deeply connected with them, but every baby is different. And it’s wild to think about how those systems, the family system that tells us, well, when you were a kid, this is what we did. You made the decisions you made. And that’s to be said that way. But then the other systems that say, you need to have this, you need to have that, you need to have that. Anne Wallen (23:47.092)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:57.15)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (24:05.024)themselves to block all that madness out. Like, thanks for your feedback, grandma. Thanks for your feedback, Capitalistic Society. That person needs to be so deeply entwined with themselves and to understand about themselves. So based on the research you’ve done or the information that you’ve seen, how many people are actually doing that deeper work? Like, hey, I’m pregnant now. I wonder how fucked I was as a child based on the dumb things that happened. How do I not deliver that onto this child? Anne Wallen (24:10.814)Yeah. Nick McGowan (24:33.963)how many people are actually doing that work? Or is that part of the reason why we’re having the conversation? Because more people need to have that internal conversation. Anne Wallen (24:41.096)We really need our society, especially in America, to be doing that work more. Because a lot of people are just, like I was saying before, you’re kind of in this automatic robot mode. If you don’t do the work and you don’t have any kind of self-awareness, you’re just gonna do the things that you don’t even realize you learned to do. So like as an infant, even though you’re not sitting there taking notes on how your parents are parenting you, you’re learning how to be a parent by experiencing their parenting. And if you look around, we have a lot of entitled people walking around and a lot of broken people walking around who are really just living out their traumas and trauma reactions day to day, rather than looking at them, understanding that that’s what it is. You know, it took me till I was in my 40s to even understand what narcissistic abuse was, because it felt so familiar. Walking around the planet, being raised by someone who was narcissistically abusive. Now back then, 50 years ago, they didn’t have those words, right? But a lot of people have experienced that and they don’t know what it is. And they’re kind of, you know, either perpetuating it as the narcissist in their relationship or continuing to be used by the narcissist for their supply, right? And this is such a hot button, like, I don’t know, like a really popular terminology nowadays and everyone’s gonna, you know, everyone walks around kind of saying, I know a narcissist or that guy’s a narcissist or whatever, right? So it’s word that gets thrown around a lot. But the deeper issue is when you are not cared for, Nick McGowan (26:12.609)Hmm. Anne Wallen (26:36.859)in a way that shows you that you’re valuable, right? Then you grow up trying to prove to yourself how valuable you are, your whole life. And so that’s gonna put you into two camps. You’re either gonna be more like a narcissist, right? Trying to get source from people, trying to get that love and acceptance and to prove yourself worthy, right? Or you’re gonna become more of the enabler, more of the empath type. Nick McGowan (26:57.066)Yeah. Anne Wallen (27:05.925)Sometimes it’s just how we’re wired when we’re born, but a lot of it’s learned, right? And so you walk around trying to fix everybody else, trying to pre, what’s the word I’m looking for? Like you’re anticipating what they need, right? And you’re jumping in and taking care of everybody else. And neither one of those makes a good parent. So when you have a kid, you’re going to… Please don’t get me wrong, public, okay? Not all babies are coming out as narcissists, but all babies do come out needing someone to meet their needs. And so they look like little narcissists, right? Because they’re calling out, they’re crying, you you have to do everything for them. And as they’re growing, you’re trying to boost their self, right? And if you have additional kids around between age two and three, that’s a huge hit to the self-esteem of the toddler. You know, so then you’re trying to like fix that and soothe that and so there’s this whole chain of events that happens between zero and about seven, eight years old. And there’s ways to feed the little narcissist monster that you might be growing or there’s ways to help the child become self-sufficient and self… Nick McGowan (28:03.466)Yeah. Anne Wallen (28:31.529)self-aware, but also, you know, like help them to develop empathy and help them to develop compassion for others. But a lot of this is not by word. It’s in modeling. And again, we go back to if you haven’t dealt with your shit before you have your baby, it’s going to walk around showing your child how to not be a grownup, but they’re not going to know the difference. Nick McGowan (28:51.529)Yeah. Nick McGowan (28:58.527)And just keep going. Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:00.167)Right, and so even though trauma can be passed on from DNA, right, and it can be passed on cellularly, right, but it’s also passed on just by modeling. Modeling what that reactivity looks like, modeling what that unhealed wound looks like. So, go ahead. Nick McGowan (29:16.329)Yeah. Well, it’s interesting with how the, think about often how the body keeps the score. Bessel van der Kerk wrote about that and there are other people that say, I don’t agree with it and that’s fine. You can say whatever you want. I’ve experienced it. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be able to have bodily reactions at things when my mind’s going, the fuck are you doing? Like, what is this? And it’s like, that ties back literally to my mom as I was a little kid. Anne Wallen (29:24.349)Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:39.315)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (29:45.596)and watching and going, she seems to fly off the handle of things. Note to self, guess that’s how it’s done. Cool, that’s what I’m gonna do. And then you learn later and you’re like, no, that’s not it. she was coming from generational trauma and chaos and wondering how do I pay for this thing? And what the fuck are you crying about? And what’s this? And sometimes that would come out of her mouth. Like, the fuck are you crying about? To go, I don’t know. And maybe she’s just overwhelmed. So even pointing out that people will look. Anne Wallen (29:51.922)Right? Anne Wallen (29:58.568)Hmm. Anne Wallen (30:09.831)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (30:11.727)and say like, yeah, a lot of people are calling people narcissists at this point because it’s like they learned a new word and they go, well, this looks similar. I’m glad that you’re pointing out that it’s actually deeper and not exactly the same thing at all, but sure, there are tendencies to it. Like the babies need us. Aren’t we like the only organisms that really do that though? Like all other mammals basically are like, cool, you’re born, go get it, have at it. And we need people. Anne Wallen (30:26.728)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (30:38.844)Yeah. Nick McGowan (30:41.606)And those people also need the babies because of that connection. It’s wild to think about how things that’ll happen just on a day to day that a parent might think, I was just a little upset or a little cold or whatever, that could change so much with that child. And especially in the formative years. I learned a handful of years ago about a theory called the subconscious winning strategy. that we develop a strategy as a child to go, oh, note to self, this is how I win. This is how I get love. Like my core wounding personally is to not be abandoned or unloved. That comes from being a child. So I figured out, oh, I can make people laugh and I can do these different things that then show up in a certain way. And I learned that about myself, I don’t know, at 38 years old and was like, oh my God, my entire life I’ve been doing this because it just deeply ingrained in us. Anne Wallen (31:15.784)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (31:36.914)Hmm. Nick McGowan (31:39.891)You pointed out self-awareness. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve noticed in every single episode I’ve had on this show, every conversation I’ve had that’s peripheral to the show. If you’re aware of something, you can only then become more aware of it as you’re more aware of it. But you can also push things to the side. I’ve watched parents go, I can’t. I’ve had friends that are parents that they’re like, man, some nights I just fucking can’t even. Anything. Like everybody needs to leave me alone and I just need to stare at the ceiling for a little while. or they dive into some vice, alcohol or something else. So what advice do you have for people that are trying to figure out, I either have a kid and I need to and want to be a better parent, or we’re thinking about having kids, or I’m still kind of reeling from being a kid, and how do they then work through their stuff? Anne Wallen (32:33.106)So I think you could, you know. Anne Wallen (32:39.752)I’m hearing some interference. Are we still together? Nick McGowan (32:42.974)We’re good. Anne Wallen (32:45.128)Okay, this could go off on so many, you’re like the tree trunk just now and there’s so many branches and things that we could just go into off of that. I think one of the things that you have to understand is that narcissism, for example, is a spectrum, right? And so, one end is kind of it’s a healthy self-awareness, self-love, self-protecting, self-serving, right? The other end is where you’re using people in a malignant way. Now, a newborn, I always make jokes with my students, like the newborns don’t read the books, right? They don’t know what the parents think that they’re supposed to be doing. But when they are little and they’re trying to communicate, right? We can, if we’re cold, for example, we can go and manipulate the thermostat, right, to make it whatever we want. If we’re hungry, we go and manipulate the refrigerator door and get a snack. Babies can’t do those things, so they’re not manipulators, right? But what they are is desperately trying to communicate with us, and we have to put aside, and you see many a mom who’s had sleepless nights, dads too, Nick McGowan (33:41.842)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (34:04.029)where they’re just doing whatever it is that the baby seems to be needing and it might just be an overnight, know, shit fast story. You’re just, nobody’s getting sleep, everybody’s crying, like everybody’s crying. And you just have to get through it, right? But the fact that you are trying, the fact that you haven’t just put the baby away and said, I can’t do this anymore, you know, good luck kid, right? The fact that they’re not doing that, Nick McGowan (34:30.332)You Anne Wallen (34:33.224)the baby and informs the baby, I am worth trying for. And so even if they aren’t fixing it, I can see they’re trying. Right? Now, do you need to step away? Do you need to be able to eat, you know, shower, take a crap by yourself? Yeah, of course. Right? And you need to be able to take care of yourself in order to take care of somebody else. And you need to be able to set boundaries and say, you know, Nick McGowan (34:37.445)Hmm. Anne Wallen (35:02.464)I am, and we talked a little bit about personality types before, but I’m an introvert, right? And when you’re looking at the Myers-Briggs, introverts need time alone, away from everybody, away from touch, away from sound in order to rebuild their battery. Extroverts, they need other people to recharge their battery. And so if you’ve got babies who are almost all extroverts in that Nick McGowan (35:15.846)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (35:30.638)stage of their life. They need somebody else for something at all times usually. And you’ve got an introvert parent who’s like, I am all tapped out. I’m in the negative. Like kid, I can’t help you right now. I cannot do anything right now. I need to go, you know, just take a bath or something in silence. Everyone leave me alone. Knowing that about yourself and knowing that this whole scenario is going to change. Because before baby came, You probably had self-care mechanisms or habits or whatever in place that you can say like, okay, I am drained. I went to that party. I’ve been at work all day. I need to just have like an evening of quiet. Well, when you have a baby, there’s no such thing. So being able to plan ahead for stuff like that, knowing yourself, being self-aware enough to say, I know what my needs are in a general way, putting a person into this know, sphere of my everyday life, what do I need to do to keep myself sane while still caring for the needs of this other human being? And being able to build some kind of structure around that. It could be, do I need to live closer to my parents so my parents can help me? Does it mean I need to hire a postpartum doula or a nanny or somebody that’s gonna be able to help take care of the child so that I can take care of me? You know, just, and that’s not selfish. That’s not being a bad parent saying, well, I can’t always meet the baby’s needs 100 % of the time. Who can? Like we have this really unrealistic expectation, this leave it to be for mom mindset, right? Where it’s like, she’s just gonna do everything. She somehow wakes up with makeup on, with her clothes pressed and you know, like she never spent any time on that, right? Well, that’s kind of what we’re expected to do as parents is we’re expected to just be up and ready for the world and ready to take care of this baby 100 % without having any kind of prep or any kind of get ready time? No, that’s not how it really works. But then you have that expectation which makes people then feel like they’re failing. And that’s not fair either. That’s where if you look at postpartum depression, it has gone up and gone up and gone up and it’s in its highest Anne Wallen (37:57.818)in places where, or in family dynamics where nobody’s getting sleep, you know, there’s sleep deprivation going on and there’s no social support. And those are the two key factors. And a third key factor is babies who cry a lot. And babies don’t just cry a lot. So if you know how to meet your baby’s needs, you can understand your baby’s language, if you can anticipate their needs and just kind of, you know, Nick McGowan (38:04.699)Hmm. Anne Wallen (38:27.781)Be prepared as we just keep, I keep saying preparation, preparation, right? But being prepared and understanding what does this cry sound mean? Does it mean hungry? Does it mean pain? Does it mean sleepy, right? What do these cry sounds mean? And then being able to appropriately respond to the baby’s needs and making sure that the baby’s needs are met quickly. These all feed into a satisfied, healthy, happy baby, which, creates calm, satisfied, happy, healthy family, right? And then if you are dealing with trauma triggers where maybe the baby crying is a trauma trigger for you, right? And you haven’t figured out what this baby’s need is, you’re gonna be spiraling and that spiral’s gonna, you’re gonna have anxiety, you’re have the depression, you might even develop other issues. And let me just say one really quick little piece. Nick McGowan (39:08.922)Yeah. Anne Wallen (39:26.823)The news a lot of times says, you know, when a mom kills her babies, right? The news will a lot of times say, oh, she had postpartum depression. That’s not postpartum depression, that’s postpartum psychosis. So postpartum depression and anxiety and OCD and all these other different kinds of mental health disorders, they can turn into psychosis. But psychosis is when you have suspended the connection to reality in such a way that you would do that heinous act, right? And why does it get to that point? Because we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re not supporting our families, not, you know, we’re not like creating this wrap around care for families. And dads need it too, you know, like we think, mom’s got postpartum depression. Dads get postpartum depression too. Nick McGowan (40:09.091)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:22.797)sleep deprivation will do it to anybody. You don’t even have to have a baby. You sleep deprived somebody for long enough and they’re gonna experience depression and anxiety. And so being aware, preparing for having that help afterward, understanding what is it that your personal wounding might look like and how might that affect the way you’re gonna care for your baby. So for example, you mentioned abandonment. A lot of people have… Nick McGowan (40:30.456)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:49.807)abandonment issues because of the whole put your baby to cry it out in the bed philosophy that was taught for a long time. It’s not taught anymore, shouldn’t be taught anymore, we know better now. But there’s a lot of adults walking around that that was the way they did it and they’re gonna hear from their mom and dad and everyone, you know, that’s how you should do it. So it feels really unnatural for a reason. Nick McGowan (40:54.585)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (41:09.026)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (41:14.435)It’s that little instinct, that little knowing that awakens in us when we have a baby that tells us, no, that’s not okay. My baby needs me, my baby. That sound is really grating on me. Why? Because it’s meant for us to do something about it. And so being able to look at, there’s a tool that I sometimes will use, it’s called the self-redemption cycle. Nick McGowan (41:27.543)Yeah. Anne Wallen (41:39.705)And you’re really, it’s like this little circle, right? It informs who you are. It informs yourself about who you are. But it takes the core hurt. Have you ever heard of this? So it takes the core hurt and then it looks at what emotions are drawn from that core hurt. And then it says, what are you seeking? What do those emotions tell you about what you’re seeking? And then what kind of behaviors are you gonna do to meet the thing or find the thing that you’re seeking? And then a lot of times those are unhealthy behaviors too. Nick McGowan (41:57.016)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:08.398)So then you create a new core hurt for yourself, only to do it all over again. And so it’s important for us to really be aware of what are the triggers, right? What are the things that make us feel abandoned or unloved or whatever our thing is, right? And then be able to work through those things because first of all, going into a birth situation, Nick McGowan (42:08.546)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:36.91)You have to advocate for yourself. You have to be able to speak for yourself. You have to be informed enough because we live in a profit driven medical society and you cannot, it’s not that you can’t trust doctors as individuals, but you can’t trust the system to have your back. The system is not built to your wellness. The system is to profit and wellness doesn’t bring profit. And so, Nick McGowan (42:55.81)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (43:06.616)You have, you know, a whole system that I don’t want to say is like designed against you, but you have to be wise going into that. If you’re going to have your baby in a hospital, which not everybody’s having babies in hospitals, I’ve had three at home myself, but if you are going to go into a hospital, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into. You have to know how to handle it. And it’s not the time to be defending yourself or standing up for yourself. you have to feel so safe to be vulnerable, to be able to open your body to let your baby out. And if you don’t, your labor will be dysfunctional. And that psychological piece, which is, I was saying before, like 80 to 85 % of your whole birth experience, it’s not physical. Physically, we breathe, we digest our food, we use the bathroom. We don’t need anybody to coach us how to do those things. We don’t need to read books on how to do those things. Our bodies know how to do it. And it’s the same way with birth. Our bodies know how to give birth. But there’s safety mechanisms built into the process, survival mechanisms. And one of those survival mechanisms is, is it safe out there? Is it safe for the baby who’s super, super vulnerable? Like you said, you know, we’re the only species that’s like, our baby comes out and they are completely and utterly dependent upon us for everything. Nick McGowan (44:30.444)Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:32.068)And so if our subconscious says, it’s not safe for that little vulnerable person to come out, it will shut down labor. And you can give it all the drugs you want. You can give it all the pitocin you want. It’s not gonna receive it. Your brain’s gonna shut down those pitocin receptors and say, nope, it’s not safe out there. She doesn’t like the doctor. Or the lights are too bright. Or yeah, or whatever the reason that’s triggering her. Nick McGowan (44:51.03)Politics. Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:58.884)you know, making her feel unsafe. And it could just be there’s a male doctor and she doesn’t feel comfortable around males in that way, right? And so it could be all kinds of things. As a doula and as a doula trainer, I have seen thousands of different scenarios where, you know, she might love her doctor and feel super safe with her doctor, but she gets to the hospital and guess what? It’s the person on call and she’s never even met them. Right, and now we have a hurdle to get over. And does she feel strong enough and confident in her ability enough to not let that affect her? Or is she, or does she not feel that way? Right, and in the moment, you’re just trying to hang on for dear life. You’re just having labor. You’re just trying to get through it, right? And so all these other psychological factors are really tough to have to. Nick McGowan (45:50.678)Peace. Anne Wallen (45:54.488)navigate, that’s why you’ve got to prepare ahead of time and really have somebody there, whether it’s your partner who’s very well versed and really, you know, knows what you want and is willing to stand up for you, or a doula, or you’re home with your midwife, you know, whatever your scenario, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but it’s also not for someone who is just kinda coming at it willy nilly like, yeah, I got pregnant, yeah, I’m gonna have a baby, and yeah, we’re gonna do this thing called parenting. I mean, you can do it that way, but you’re gonna be on autopilot the whole time. Your reactions to things are not gonna be intentional and worked through the way that they should be for the betterment of your baby, right? Nick McGowan (46:32.246)Hmm. Nick McGowan (46:41.731)yeah. Anne Wallen (46:44.803)The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start, right? Nick McGowan (46:50.324)Yeah, what a good way to put that. And especially all of this ties in to so many different pieces, but it’s all similar. Like you go into some big situation, you have to be prepared, but you also need to understand about yourself. And there are people I’m sure that try their best to be as prepared as they can be. Again, I’ve had a few friends that are like, I’ve read every fucking book I could. I talked to everybody I could. Anne Wallen (46:58.522)Mm. Anne Wallen (47:14.777)Yeah. Nick McGowan (47:16.278)And I still expect to screw this kid up in some sort of way, because I’m going to say something weird or whatever. it’s like totally, like you’re just going to do what you’re going to do and your kid’s going to go how they’re going to go. But that’s the sort of like anti-matter in the middle of it. That’s like, well, all that stuff is just going to happen. But as long as you’re best prepared, you’re going to do what you can. Those people that are kind of wandering around that are like, well, we had a baby and like, I still don’t know my stuff or what’s going on. That. Anne Wallen (47:36.558)Yeah! Nick McGowan (47:45.714)level of self-awareness takes many, many, many blocks to get through to be able to get to that point. So the whole purpose of this show is to be able to help people on their path towards self-mastery and really figuring themselves out and living the best life that they can. So for the people that are on that path towards self-mastery, wanting to have a kid or have a kid or are still kind of reeling through the stuff that they’ve been through as a kid, how… What’s your advice for somebody that’s on their path towards self mastery that’s kind of going throughout all that? Anne Wallen (48:19.747)So the number one thing that you can do is to just nurture yourself, right? Nurturing and making it okay to get things wrong. Having self-forgiveness, having self-grace. Because as you go through these blocks, I could tell you just from my own personal experience that going through different, you know, looking at what has happened to me and saying, okay, this event, and I’m gonna sit with how this event makes me feel. until I can take away the power from it. And some people use counseling for that, some people use EMDR. I found EMDR super helpful. I think too, know, alongside having self-grace and having self-forgiveness, being with other people who are healthy psychologically is really important. If you are in a situation or a relationship that is kind of keeping you in I don’t want to say in abuse because maybe the relationship isn’t abusive, but maybe in a situation where you are constantly triggered or you are continually kind of repeating bad habits, right? And you’re recognizing that, but then you’re in this situation where they’re just triggering you and triggering you and triggering you. You got to get away from it to be able to heal it. It’s so tough. to be able to heal something while you’re in the midst of reaction. And honestly, you know, we talked about the word narcissism and the word trauma and things like that. One of the most powerful ways that I feel like people can heal from stuff and actually keep digging into their past and finding the next thing, right? Like, okay, well, I healed from this and now what? What’s the next thing? Nick McGowan (50:17.15)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (50:17.325)You’re subconscious, two things. One, I really believe that your subconscious will always answer you. And before you even finish the sentence, right, you know the answer. That’s your intuition, you can trust it. Right, so being able to say, what’s the thing that is really holding me back right now? You know it, your subconscious just told you what it was, right? And then going through that, working on that, focusing on that. The other thing is, is that for people, A really powerful tool for us to get understanding about something is labeling. So when you are, let’s say narcissism, when you are looking at narcissism, you can say, hey, here’s a behavior. This makes me feel uncomfortable. What is this? Why does this make me feel uncomfortable? it’s gaslighting. I’ve got a word for that. Nick McGowan (50:52.861)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (51:08.148)hehe Anne Wallen (51:09.977)Right? I’ve got a word for the bandwagoning technique. I’ve got a word for flying monkeys. I’ve got a word for all these different things. Right? And so being able to look at your shit and having a label for the different things that you’re experiencing, having a label for the different reactions that you might be having. Number one, it helps you to understand it. It helps you have a little more power over those things rather than it having power over you. But then also, you know, we can Google it. If you have a word that you’re like, my goodness, you know, this thing is really just triggering me. Why does it trigger me? Okay, comes, I can see that it’s stemming back from this thing that happened to me. And like I said, just ask yourself the questions. Just keep asking yourself the questions. And when your subconscious tells you this is what it was, then you can look it up, right? One of the reasons why I learned about narcissism is because I was Googling, why doesn’t my husband like me? How sad is that that you got to ask that question? But I soon found out that it’s one of the list of things in the narcissistic playbook. And so then you start to realize, this behavior happened at this point in my life and at that point in my life and at that point in my life. And because you have a label for it, you can start to identify the root cause. And that’s where you can kind of start taking your power back. Nick McGowan (52:35.719)Yeah. Anne Wallen (52:38.456)and you can rework the programming that’s going on in your head. And so then you’re no longer a robot, just on autopilot. You can have a moment, you could take a moment to pause and say, I’m not gonna respond like that anymore. I’m gonna, I look, I see it for what it is now. And I’m not gonna let that do this thing to me. And I’m not gonna let that do that thing to my child, because I’m not gonna respond the same way anymore. Nick McGowan (52:54.547)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (53:08.132)And I’ll tell you what, every kid, I really believe this, every child is born to bring the balance. So like if you have, and I apologize for all the noise in the background, I am in New York City. I don’t know if you hear the sirens. They’re about to come right in front of my building, I could tell. All right, they’re gone. Okay, so. Nick McGowan (53:08.231)Yeah. Nick McGowan (53:30.483)Alright. Anne Wallen (53:35.074)give them a second. So when you have, you know, these, this labeling and when you have this balance that the child is bringing into the family, you know, you, you might say, that kid’s a, that’s a wild child or whatever. A wild child compared to what? Maybe you have very placid parents, right? And then the child’s just bringing the balance. They bring in the party. Or you have parents who are, you know, maybe really Nick McGowan (53:35.155)They’re good. Nick McGowan (54:00.989)you Anne Wallen (54:05.061)just super extroverted and then you get this little introverted child because they’re bringing the balance or you have two kids, right? I’ve had my two boys, they’re kind of like in the early middle of the six of them and I had one that was like large muscle. You tell him to dig a hole, he’s gonna be like, how deep and how big and tell me where to go and I’m on it, right? And then you got the next kid. who was very small motor skills, very artistic, you know, just like super minute focus, right? And you tell him to dig a hole and he’d be like, I don’t know how to dig a hole, right? So like they’re opposites, but this is what happens in family structures. It’s like the kid comes in and they fill the gap of what’s missing. This can get tricky if you have stuff that you haven’t worked on in the past, because guess what? Nick McGowan (54:48.443)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (55:02.852)Kids also bring the triggers. So for example, my nine-year-old, love her to pieces, she’s really different from me. It’s a challenge sometimes to be her parent because I don’t know what to do with her half the time because she’s just so different from me. And so that in itself is a little bit of a trigger. And so as a parent, when you are trying to learn, because a lot of times we think, oh, we’re here to Nick McGowan (55:18.096)Hmm. Nick McGowan (55:24.272)Yeah. Anne Wallen (55:32.696)you know, mold and shape this person. But I want to challenge that perception. I think we’re really here to figure out who this person is and help them to be the best of whoever it is that they’re supposed to be. And we’re not really supposed to be directing that all that much at all. Right. And so that also can be really tricky if you don’t know who you are. Right. If you’re if your stuff Nick McGowan (55:57.893)Yeah. Anne Wallen (56:01.496)goes into identifying as, I worthy? Should I speak up? Do I have to fight for stuff? All the different things that go on as a child inside of you, your child, it’s gonna be mirrored back to you. And if you haven’t figured those things out, if you didn’t figure them out as a child, how are you gonna have answers for your kid when they’re going through the same thing? So. getting into and really just there’s actually a book for if you’re pregnant now or if you’re looking at getting pregnant, there’s a book called birthing from within. It’s kind of a whole system. I really like it because it kind of digs into the psychological aspect of, you know, this labyrinth of how were you created mentally, emotionally, and then how are you going to walk or step into parenthood, you know, as a person who can be there for your kid in all these different ways that you’re gonna have, it’s gonna be demanded upon you whether or not you have the skills to meet the needs or not, right? Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:05.967)Yeah, whether you like it or not. man, there’s so much to that. And again, I’m not going to have kids ever. I’m no longer equipped to. And I can think about how these things relate to us as people without kids because we were kids at one point and this ties back. Even the two kids that you have that you talked about, you literally just described my brother and myself. And my dad was like, Anne Wallen (57:25.112)Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:34.359)I understand the one who can dig the holes. I don’t understand why you’re building things and you’re painting. What the hell is this about? I’m gonna stick with the one over here because that makes sense and parents can go to that. They can look at that and they can do those things. But I really appreciate that you’re challenging people to understand the most about themselves and where their things have come from so that they don’t really bring them into anything further unless they go, hey, I learned this before cause I went through some shit. Anne Wallen (57:56.334)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (58:03.077)Here’s how you go about it a little differently, but you do you kid and I’m here to support you. I think that’s a crucial thing that you really pointed out and I appreciate you pointing that out. This has been awesome to have you on today and I appreciate you being with us. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:08.109)Yeah. Nick McGowan (58:27.194)Did I totally cut out there? Awesome. So I’d asked where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:36.484)Well, I am like I said the director of maternity wise you can find me there. That’s easy maternity wise calm just like that And you can also find me. I’m a contributor to brains magazine So I have several articles published there and if you want to find me on LinkedIn, I’m Anne Wallen. So hey Nick McGowan (58:58.896)Again, Ann, it’s been great having you on today. I appreciate your time. Anne Wallen (59:01.988)Thank you.

On this episode, Chris & Koi call up some friends to find out if unhealed people leave good relationships and if so why? 

Are you just going through the motions? Following others without testing the spirit?  Don't let unhealed people, even social media gurus and high-level Christian entrepreneurs, sway you from the path God has laid out specifically for you. Discernment is key. The narrow path isn't easy peasy to follow, but always rewarding. Trust the Holy Spirit's guidance above everyone else's clamor. Others mean well, but your journey is NOT their journey ... I've learned this the hard way, my friends.  A genuine relationship with Jesus is a continuous healing journey of repentance, persistence, perseverance, and resisting the enemy's attacks. A weak relationship with Jesus will cause everything else to crumble in your life. Many start relying on performance and man-made religions instead of a fruitful relationship with Jesus Christ. Learn the difference and strengthen your walk with Christ! Chapters: 00:00:00 The Vertical Relationship Show with Melia 00:00:24 What is a Vertical Relationship with Jesus 00:01:00 Relationship vs. Religion 00:02:04 Importance of Discernment 00:03:06 True Faith Beyond Symbols 00:03:58 The Difficult Walk with Christ 00:05:04 Building a Strong Foundation in Jesus 00:06:03 Holy Spirit vs. Rules of Religion 00:06:57 Reading from "Vertical Relationship" Book  00:08:03 Religion vs. Relationship Examined Closer 00:09:30 Hearing God's Voice 00:10:41 Satan's Deception 00:11:20 Heart Over Good Deeds 00:12:03 Relationship with God is Vital 00:13:01 God Reveals Hard Truths 00:13:53 Secret Sin and False Teachers 00:14:47 Rooted in God, Not Religion 00:15:22 Partnership with God 00:16:03 Walking in Freedom with Jesus 00:16:32 Prayer for a Relationship with God 00:17:44 Spreading the Love of Jesus Blessings xo- Melia's Services -> https://meliadiana.com/our-services Melia's Books ->https://meliadiana.com/books Melia's Prophetic Mentorship-> https://meliadiana.com/vertical-ambassador-mentorship Melia's Courses -> https://meliadiana.com/vertical-relationship-academy      

What if the reason you keep reacting, withdrawing, or losing patience isn't about your present—but your past?In this episode, Jerrad unpacks Step 3 of the Seven Steps of Discipleship: Addressing Past Wounds—a practical and gospel-centered conversation about facing the pain we've carried instead of burying it. With honesty and compassion, he walks men through why ignoring our wounds doesn't make them disappear; it just makes them leak into our marriage, our parenting, and our leadership.Through biblical truth, personal story, and real-world guidance, Jerrad helps you see that this step isn't about fixing yourself—it's about inviting God into the places you've avoided for too long.With a mix of vulnerability and hope, this episode will help you:Recognize how unhealed wounds shape your reactions and relationshipsConnect the dots between your pain and the lies you believeLearn a simple 4-part process for addressing wounds (Scripture, Naming, Writing, Sharing)Discover how to speak gospel truth to yourselfTake the first step toward becoming a healed man who leads a healthy familyWhether you've minimized your pain, masked it with work, or felt like your story doesn't matter, this episode is a reminder that strong families begin with healed men—and healing starts when you face what's been buried.Prayer:“Father, reveal the wounds I've tried to hide. Give me courage to bring them into the light, and remind me that Your grace is big enough to heal every part of my story.”Scriptures Mentioned:Psalm 34:18James 5:16John 8:32Isaiah 61:12 Corinthians 12:9Resources & Links:

Have you ever stopped to wonder how the stories you grew up with—the ones you absorbed in childhood—still shape the way you parent today? Author and creative coach GG Renee Hill on uncovering, rewriting, and reclaiming the stories that define us.  Timestamps: 0:03 – How our childhood stories shape parenting 0:06 – Parenting from old patterns 0:09 – When others silence your intuition 0:12 – Finding yourself amid parenting chaos 0:15 – GG's inner child awakening 0:18 – Turning sensitivity into strength 0:21 – Growing up with a schizophrenic mother 0:25 – Redefining strength as a Black mom 0:29 – Coaching kids without tearing them down 0:33 – GG's breaking point and repair 0:38 – Anger is human, violence is not 0:43 – Hope for a more conscious generation 0:48 – Healing through storytelling and reflection 0:53 – The power of rewriting your narrative 0:58 – GG's message to parents and creators Her book: Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative  Her viral essay, "Choosing My Mental Health over My Mother" LINKS AND RESOURCES Support the podcast by making a donation (suggested amount $15) 732-763-2576 call to leave a voicemail.  info@authenticparenting.com Send audio messages using Speakpipe. Join the Authentic Parenting Community on Facebook. Work w/Anna. Listeners get 10% off her services.  Podcast Production by Aminur: https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~019855d91718719d11

Nearly 16.4 million Americans served in the U.S. Armed Forces in World War II, and for millions of survivors, the fighting left many of them physically and mentally broken for life. There was a 25% death rate in Japanese POW camps like Bataan, where starvation and torture were rampant, and fierce battles against suicidal Imperial Japanese forces, like at Iwo Jima, where 6,800 Americans died. Additionally, the psychological toll of witnessing Holocaust atrocities and enduring up to three years away from home intensified the war’s brutality. This is why when they returned home, they had physical and psychological wounds that festered, sometimes for years, sometimes for decades, and sometimes for the rest of their lives. Veterans suffering from recurring nightmares, uncontrollable rages, and social isolation were treated by doctors who had little understanding of PTSD, a term that didn’t enter the DSM until 1984. Returning veterans and their families were forced to double up with their parents or squeeze into overcrowded, substandard shelters as the country wrestled with a housing crisis. Divorce rates doubled, with more than 1 million GIs leaving or being left by their wives by 1950. Alcoholism was rampant, and an entire generation became addicted to smoking. To explore this dark shadow that hung over the WW2 generation, we’re joined by David Nasaw, author of The Wounded Generation: Coming Home After World War II. Those affected include the period’s most influential political and cultural leaders, including John F. Kennedy, Robert Dole, and Henry Kissinger; J. D. Salinger and Kurt Vonnegut; Harry Belafonte and Jimmy Stewart. We look at the ways the horrors of World War 2 shaped their lives, but we also see incredible resilience and those who found ways to move past the horrors of their wartime experiences, and what we can learn from that today.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.