At Peace Parentsâ„¢ Podcast

This is the first of three episodes about hygiene and Pathological Demand Avoidance. In this episode I focused on how to think about PDA and hygiene struggles, and understanding the root cause of struggles around:Teeth brushing Going to the dentistShowering and bathingHair washingHand washingNail clippingHair cuttingGetting dressedMore specifically, in this episode I talk through:The Deep Why behind hygiene strugglesSensory vs. Autonomy as a root cause of avoidanceThe cumulative nature of PDA and control coalescing around a basic need (in this case hygiene)Discernment - Asking yourself the right questions about burnout and whether hygiene is the "stickiest" basic need for your child or teen.Decision-making around boundaries before we worry about accommodationsI hope you find the show helpful. I'll release two more episodes on hygiene soon!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I coach a mom of a 10-year-old PDAer who is in burnout (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). The child loves to cook and bake but has a meltdown if family members clean up after her while she's in the kitchen. She also melts down if others pass by her bedroom on the way to their own, which her mom has to do if she's going to clean the kitchen after her daughter leaves. We talked through if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was also present, but decided to focus on working through the PDA lens. We then used our decision making framework to determine how the mother could manage their bedtime routine in a way that would be more pleasant for everyone. I hope you find the conversations helpful. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.This is the second of two episodes in which Donna and I discussed this topic. In the first episode we covered five of her tips, and in this episode we cover five more.Here they are:Reflect on successNormalize discomfort and fearLet go of future fearsPause social media as neededBreathe -- you're doing great!I hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens. We cover five of her tips in this episode and will release another episode soon with five more. Here's the first five:Try to keep autonomy and equality at the forefrontShift from parent to mentor-friendBe vulnerable and transparentRelease the pressure to figure it all outRedefine regressionI hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alex Klein and I discuss ten common misconceptions about Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.Here are five from Dr. Klein:The parent of a PDAer is doing something wrong, especially if they've lowered demands.If a PDA child did something yesterday, they can do it again today.Accommodations won't prepare PDA kids for the real world.Progress made by a PDA child is measured by what we see on the surface.Behaviorism (behavioral parenting) will be enough.And here are five from me, in strong collaboration with my PDA 11- and 7-year-olds:PDA kids are bad kids.How much freedom PDA kids need.It's not behavioral, it's stress.Why and when they can hide nervous system stress.Potatoes are green and they smell like poop :)I hope the episode is helpful to you!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This episode is for parents who are interested in toilet training in a PDA-informed way.This the third episode in my three-part series on toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance.In this episode I cover toilet/potty training with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I cover the following:Is my child or teen in a good place for toilet training?Story of toilet training my older son before I knew of PDA, and why I think it still worked (spoiler - we intuitively did a lot of accommodating).10 tips for if and when you decide to toilet train your PDA child or teen.I hope this is helpful for you and your family.xoxo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode, I spoke to a grandmother raising her 8-year-old PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) Autistic grandson who she had been homeschooling for a year-and-a-half after school trauma in first grade.We discussed:- Helping her grandson attend an in-person appointment with the pediatrician, so he could get a refill of his medication.- The different approaches she could take to decide her actions in this tough situation.- The fear of losing trust and the progress they have made by forcing him to the doctor's office.- Experimenting with ideas for how to prepare her grandson for the doctor's visit with an indirect mode of communications, and how to leverage his special interest of elevators to support him accessing medical care.We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. It's from our live show "Parenting PDA Your Way" that I host on our social media at 1pm ET on Fridays.Warmly,CaseyPS - The grandma in this episode mentions our Paradigm Shift Program. Want to join the waitlist for the next cohort? Here's the link.

This is my second of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on what to do if your child has challenges with:1 - Wiping2 - Accidents3 - Holding and constipation4 - Pooping outside the toilet5 - Peeing outside the toiletOf course, I'm talking through taking a PDA/nervous system approach to helping your child or teen with these challenges. If you want to take a deeper dive into understanding why your PDA child or teen has these challenges, please check out my previous podcast episode (Ep. 142).Also, in this episode I mention the decision making process I teach parents who are trying to decide when they should change their child or teen's diaper if doing so causes activation. If you want to learn more about making such decisions (or others), I teach how to do so in my free masterclass: School, Screens and Siblings, Oh My! Here's a link to where you can sign up for it for free:https://at-peace-parents-podcast.captivate.fm/sssohxo,Casey

This is my first of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on how to think about toileting over the long term with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I talk through:1 - Your questions in the following categories: wiping, holding and constipation, potty training, going outside the toilet, and accidents2 - Logic and root cause of toileting struggles through the PDA lens3 - What a stickiest basic need is and whether or not your child is in burnout4 - 5 things to try in your home now5 - Tracking progress so you can see clearly if this approach is helping your childI hope it's a helpful episode for you.Xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I spoke with a mom of a 4-year-old PDAer (Pathological Demand Avoidant) and a 10-month-old baby living in an apartment in Scotland. She had just learned about PDA one month ago and had already made huge and brave changes in her home and parenting to support he son. We discussed:- How to start making a parenting paradigm shift if you are new to PDA. - The importance of an experimental mindset as you are trying out new ways of supporting and accommodating your PDA child.- How to pick your priorities for boundaries in the home. In this case we focused on safety around the baby, bedtime, and bathing once a week. - How nervous system activation is cumulative over time (months and years) for PDA children and teens, which means we don't have to be perfect with accommodations, just consistent. This episode is from the show we stream live on Fridays on our social media, "Parenting PDA Your Way." I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!With love,Casey

Sorcha Rice is an occupational therapist and the clinical manager of Neurodiversity Ireland, who I met at their 1st conference last year. She identifies as AuDHD and PDA and spoke with me about how she understands and experiences PDA, what her childhood and teen years were like before she was diagnosed, going through burnout and recovery, how she manages her nervous system now, and some of the practices she incorporates to support her PDA occupational therapy clients.It was wonderful to connect with Sorcha and hear her insights and so much of her story!I hope you enjoy it too.Xoxo,CaseyPS - You can find more about Sorcha on instagram at both @ot_sorcharice and @neurodiversityirelandAnd in our conversation she also recommended a resource for other OTs - Kim Barthel.

In this episode I speak with a mom of a six-year-old PDAer who wouldn't eat or drink and was extremely dysregulated during a holiday because of a loose tooth.We discussed:1 - how internal demands and losses of autonomy like losing a tooth matter as much as external demands.2 - the importance of understanding PDA as a fluctuating nervous system disability.3 - creative ideas for deepening accommodations the next time there is a loose tooth. I hope you find the episode helpful. It's from the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays, Parenting PDA Your Way.xo,Casey

Here's part 2 of my episode on the 10 hardest lessons I learned in 2025. They include:6 - Your PDA child can go into burnout even if you're fully accommodating them.7 - Burnout can feel like you are making no progress, especially with an internalizer.8 - Screens can be a wonderful thing.9 - Your kids will surprise you.10 - Spirituality sustained me.xoxo,Casey

Happy New Year! I'm kicking off 2026 by sharing the 10 hardest lessons I learned parenting my PDAers (often the hard way) in 2025. The first five are in this episode:1 - There are some things in life you can't outsource2 - The key to sanity is accepting constraints and finding agency within them3 - Doubt about PDA is the antidote to dogma4 - The importance of trusting yourself in the face of judgement5 - Burnout with trauma is different than burnout without traumaxo,Casey

In this episode I talk with a mom about her 7-year-old daughter - with PDA, ADHD and anxiety - about when she might help her build her frustration tolerance, and when she likely cannot.We also dive in on a specific challenge she was facing when her both her daughters need support at the same time.The conversation is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Facebook, Instagram and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom of a PDA 14-year-old who regulates himself by wrestling his father after school each day, which causes Mom lots of anxiety. Together we use my cost-benefit decision making tool to weigh her options and she then decides a new strategy to try.I hope this episode is helpful for you. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Instagram, Facebook and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mother of a PDA teen about:Setting boundaries when other kids are involvedMaking decisions in public when you are being judgedHelping young siblings understand the PDA threat response.The episode is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live most Fridays on our Instagram, Facebook, YouTube accounts.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I spoke with clinical psychologist Alex Klein about considerations when thinking about getting an evaluation for Autism or PDA as an adultmy own neurodivergencedoing therapy as a neurodivergent adultgetting an evaluation and therapy for your PDA child or teenI hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about a time her daughter melted down and then wouldn't allow Mom to step away and take the pause she needed to regulate herself to be able to support her daughter. These situations are so tough - and sometimes there is nothing you can do but endure them - and so in this conversation we talked about how to find meaning in this parenting experience.This podcast episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about her PDA daughter, who pinches and scratches Mom as she is falling asleep. It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom whose PDA son constantly wants to play with neighbors' kids - no matter how many times he may have already knocked on the door that day - and melts down if she says no.It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

Samantha's 13-year-old PDA daughter wants to buy things all the time, and gets dysregulated when her parents say "no." It's a common and difficult problem for many parents of PDA children and teens, and in this week's episode I talk it through with Samantha.The episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I talk through how I've come to realize my second son is also PDA - with a more internalized expression than my first - and how the process has been both similar and different from the first time. I hope it's helpful for you :)

In today's episode I speak with Megan, the mother of an 8-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her sibling on the walk to school. Megan comes up with something to try for a couple weeks to see if it's helpful. I hope the conversation is helpful for you, too :)

In this episode I talk with Carrie - mother of a 12-year-old PDAer - about how to support her son when he gets dysregulated by not knowing what to do during free time - especially after school and on weekends.

In this episode I coach Lierin as she navigates the equalizing her 5-year-old daughter does against her 8-year-old sister. Specifically we discuss how to help the older daughter understand PDA and the "unfairness" it brings about.

Sometimes our PDA children equalize against us and it triggers us - perhaps because of our own neurodivergence, childhood trauma, or other challenges. In this episode of the podcast - from our new live show - I coach Christine through such a situation with her PDA daughter. I hope it's helpful for you

This episode is a conversation with Dominique, mother of a 4-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her 2-year-old. Dominique also has a third child, and joined our live show - Parenting PDA Your Way - to talk through how to handle these situations.I hope you find our conversation helpful. xo,Casey

In this episode I work with Lierin, a mom who is frustrated that what other adults think about her parenting impacts her, and unsure if this is an obstacle to radical acceptance of her child's PDA. Thank you Lierin for sharing your story to help other families. I know many of us can relate!Also, this is the first podcast episode where I share the coaching conversations I'm doing on my new show: "Parenting PDA Your Way". We're live streaming the show most Fridays at 10am ET on Facebook and YouTube.

As parents of PDA children and teens we do a ton of work to support and heal the nervous systems of our kids, often at the expense of our own (also sensitive) nervous systems. So for this episode I invited Afshan Tafler, a nervous system expert, to speak with me.We talked about:The impact on a parent's nervous system of raising a PDA child or teenWhy we get into fixing modeSome tools to support your nervous system(Parental burnout)I hope it's helpful!xo,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

How do we help our kids develop a positive self image, no matter their diagnosis? In this episode I walk through the steps of helping your PDA child or teen do so, and in a way that provides them autonomy and equality throughout. It's an excerpt from one of the live workshops of our Paradigm Shift Program. I hope it's helpful!Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Caroline Thor about the tremendous impacts of changing her parenting approach - for her PDA son, her family, and herself as a professional. I hope it's helpful to you.xo,CaseyCaroline's Website Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

How do I feel about AI, and how do I use it with my PDA child? In this episode I talk through these things and more with Kelly Edwards, founder of the 90-Minute School Day. As a mom of a PDAer herself, and an expert in the homeschooling/unschooling space, Kelly brings great insight to our conversation. I hope you find it helpful!Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

Not all demand avoidant children and teens are PDA. In this episode I talk through how to know if your child fits the profile for PDA, which is important, because it suggests a different root cause for their avoidance than for non-PDA demand avoidant kids. And of course, you want to know what the root cause is so you know how best to support your child or teen.I hope this is helpful to all.xo,Casey

Paradigm Shift Program alumna Rachel shares her story in this episode, which includes insight she gained enduring serious sickness as a young adult. She brings this perspective to the hardest moments and eras parenting her PDA children, and explains the difference that can make, even while being incredibly difficult. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Aoife, who shares her journey as a PDA parent of a PDA child. I hope you find her insights and experiences helpful as you navigate your own journeys.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

I think PDA is its own neurotype, different from non-PDA Autism and ADHD. That doesn't mean PDA kids, teens and adults can't also be Autistic or ADHD - many are, including at least one of my sons. But it means there's a different logic for how we support PDA children and teens - even if they are also Autistic or ADHD - based on the unique way their brain and nervous system works. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

You're not doing it wrong! And I know this because there is not one right or wrong to parent a PDA child. Parents I work with make tons of different decisions - and change those decisions over time - depending on the unique circumstances, opportunities, values and constraints they face. And I love that! Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

Karin is a Dutch medical teacher and an alumna of our Paradigm Shift Program with three children with three different neurotypes. I loved reconnecting with her and hearing how she and her neurodivergent husband use three different parenting approaches in order to successfully support their kids. I hope you find her insights helpful, too!Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

Many of you know that my PDA son stopped eating most foods when he was in burnout. But I've also worked with countless parents whose PDA child or teen can't stop eating. And so I've dedicated this episode to the topic - how to understand compulsive eating as part of PDA, and an approach that may be helpful. xo,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I spoke with Chris Wegner - AKA "Speech Dude" - a speech language pathologist with extensive experience accommodating PDA teens in a public school. I loved our conversation, and I hope you will too!We talked about:Practical ways to communicate about PDA in a public school setting (in this case a high school).How to write PDA-specific goals/supports in an IEP (Institutional Educational Plan here in the United States).Supporting PDA teens to feel safe, engage in learning, and make social connections in creative ways that don't feel demanding.The role that autonomy plays in PDA teens' success.Here is more about Chris!Chris Wenger is a neurodivergent high school speech-language pathologist of over 20 years, international speaker, and creator of the Dynamic Assessment of Social Emotional Learning, a strengths-based assessment for autistic students. He is also the founder of NeuroAffirm, a first-of-its-kind worldwide interactive directory connecting providers and families. Globally known as Speech Dude, he has amassed nearly one million social media followers, sharing inspiring and educational content, always with a humorous twist.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

Dr. Mel Houser, MD, shares stories from her childhood, career as a doctor, and work reimagining healthcare and community at All Brains Belong in Vermont. PDA Autistic herself, I hope you'll find her insights as interesting, helpful and hopeful as I did. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

The thing that underpins so much of how we support and accommodate our PDA children and teens - and thereby lower their nervous system activation so they can thrive - is our connection with them. And this connection can get very, very strained. Especially if they're in burnout, which often means we are, too. In this episode I share ten tips to improve connection and communications. I hope it's helpful. xo,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

Five years ago, when my son barely ate anything, and I feared he would end up with a feeding tube, and none of the traditional therapies worked, these are the 20 things I wish someone would have said to me, because I was freaking out! I hope they are as helpful to you now as I know they would have been for me back then. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

I dive deep on screens in this episode - to give you every bit of information you need to make decisions you can feel confident in concerning screens and screen limits. I talk through how formal studies on screen time handle PDA children (spoiler - they don't) and share what I've seen working with over 1,000 families who have all handled screen limits their own ways. I do this because no matter your decision, I don't want you to feel all the doubt I did from the judgement I received from others and from myself. You know your child, your family and your constraints, and I know you are doing your best to balance all of this, and that is what matters.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I discuss the five most common characteristics of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) to help parents determine if their child or teen fits the profile. If you want to dig deeper into figuring out if your child fits the PDA profile, I designed my Clarity Masterclass to help. It's free on my website: Clarity Masterclass Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

"All kids are demand avoidant" is just one of the misconceptions about PDA that I take down with clinical psychologist Alex Klein in this feisty episode. I hope it helps you take on any doubts foisted on you, too.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I talk about some of the therapies I've done to heal my own nervous system - and dive deeper on EMDR specifically - in the hope that they might be helpful to you, too. Because the reality is, many of us as parents also experience trauma as we navigate the challenges of parenting a PDA child or teen, especially when they (and we!) are in burnout.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

This episode is for people who follow (or don't follow) any religion and are open to taking some of the concepts from Buddhist psychology that I've found most helpful as I parent my PDA child. I hope you find these six ideas helpful, too.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

My son started occupational therapy six years ago, when he was four. I didn't really know what it was, nor did I know my son was PDA. But in the years since, OT has become a prominent part of my life. So much so that as he's now graduating from it, I'm navigating feelings of loss, much like I did way back when he first started. I hope you find the episode helps you, whether or not you're involved in OT.xo,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with Dr. Alex Klein about a dynamic I see all the time - when two parents aren't on the same page about how to parent their PDA child or teen. Alex brings his insight as a clinical psychologist who often works with parents on marriage dynamics while they raise a PDA child or teen. I hope you find it helpful! Also - this is our 100th episode of the podcast! What I've heard over the years is that the podcast is one of the ways so many families learn about PDA and stop feeling so isolated and alone. If you'd like to help this happen for even more parents out there, please consider giving the show a five-star, written review. If you email us a screenshot once you've done so - and before the end of February - we'll enter your name in a drawing for a free one-hour private coaching session with me. You can send the email to journey@atpeaceparents.com.Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey