At Peace Parentsâ„¢ Podcast

In this episode I talk about how I understand my autistic brain, my internalized pathological demand avoidance, and why it took me six years of working in this space before I felt certain enough to say this publicly. I also walk through my life, from childhood to the present, with renewed understanding, in the hope of sharing insights that can help you.This episode is for parents of high-achieving young adults who burn out, for women exploring whether they might be autistic or pathologically demand avoidant, and for anyone who just wants to know more about the person behind this work (me!).Key TakeawaysWhy Casey Resisted Identifying Publicly for Seven Years | 00:06:29 Casey names three reasons she held back. First, she genuinely was not sure, because her experience did not feel like the veil-lifting moment many autistic adults describe, and she had other diagnoses that made the picture muddy. Second, her early experiences engaging with the autistic and PDA online community involved sustained harassment and cancellation attempts, which made that space feel unsafe rather than affirming. Third, her resistance to being labeled by others mirrored exactly what she teaches about pathologically demand avoidant children who reject diagnoses: it is a survival drive for autonomy, and that include identity.What Her Internalized Profile Looked Like in Childhood and School | 00:18:25 Casey describes herself as an extraordinarily compliant and academically gifted child whose two special interests were academics and people. She explains that school functioned as a natural accommodation: it was predictable, she was consistently above her peers, and cause and effect was clear. At home, her parents' divorce introduced chaos, and her nervous system defaulted to freeze, fawn, and shutdown rather than fight or flight. She started writing in journals for hours as a way of processing social interactions and exerting control over her environment, which she now sees as the same mechanism as a child spending hours on a screen.Burnout at 26 and the Panic Disorder Years | 00:27:55 Casey describes her first panic attack during a graduate economics exam at Columbia, followed by a full dissociative episode in the law library weeks later. She lost 20 pounds, could not eat or sleep, and could only function when physically close to safe nervous systems. She was prescribed medication, but she refused to take it for fear of addiction. She frames this period as a burnout triggered by the first situation in her life where she was not the best at something, in an environment where the rules of the game were no longer ones she could win.Postpartum Burnout and What Cooper's Birth Revealed | 00:38:40 Casey describes going off her medication during pregnancy, an emergency C-section after 48 hours of labor where she felt she lost control of her body, and the 18 months of suicidal ideation and intensive outpatient psychiatric care that followed. She was diagnosed with postpartum OCD, anxiety, and depression. She now understands this as a profound loss of bodily autonomy compounding a nervous system that was already primed for that response.Acceptance as the Shift That Therapy Alone Could Not Produce | 00:42:15 Casey describes reaching a point after years of EMDR, somatic experiencing, safe and sound protocol, havening, and meditation where she recognized that some of what she was experiencing was not going to be "fixed" by more therapy. It was brain wiring. She shares how she now applies to herself the same accommodation framework she teaches parents, including using the 4S's of regulation, attending hot yoga for sensory regulation, and protecting her close relationships as her primary nervous system resource. The intrusive self-critical thoughts, she explains, are her version of self-equalizing: a nervous system response to perceived loss of control that she is learning to accept.Relevant ResourcesWhat Is PDA — Foundation for understanding the internalized pathological demand avoidance profile Casey describes in this episode.Burnout — Free class with context for the burnout patterns Casey traces across her own life.Finding Meaning — Free class relevant for parents and adults exploring acceptance and long-term perspective.

I speak with Stephanie Harrigan, a certified speech language pathologist with nearly fifteen years of experience working with the neurodiverse population, to talk about selective mutism, feeding therapy and more.Stephanie brings a regulation-first, child-led approach to all of her work, and this conversation is full of concrete examples from her practice, including what feeding therapy actually looks like when it follows the child's lead, how she has worked with selectively mute children, and what she has seen happen to communication when behavioral pressure is removed.We also talk about how to advocate effectively with a school team and what research Stephanie uses when making the case for a non-behavioral approach.Stephanie can be reached at Inclusive Minds Educational Consulting via inclusivemindsllc@gmail.com.Key TakeawaysRegulation Before Skills, Always | 00:07:00 Stephanie describes how her approach across all of her work, whether feeding, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) speech therapy, or selective mutism, starts with regulation. She references her time at the Center for Discovery, where the entire program was built on the belief that sensory and emotional regulation is the foundation. Without it, she says, everything else crumbles. She uses the analogy of a house: regulation is the foundation, and speech and communication goals sit on top of it. What Child-Led Feeding Therapy Looks Like | 00:18:32 Stephanie gives two concrete examples from her feeding therapy work. One student only ate hot dogs at age sixteen. Rather than introducing new foods directly, she used the student's interest in small figurines to interact playfully with food. Another student loved baking but would not eat what they made, so they baked together and delivered food across campus. Stephanie explains that child-led feeding therapy means finding the child's special interest and embedding it into the work, with no timeline for progress and no pressure toward any specific outcome. Selective Mutism and the Role of Safety | 00:24:28 Stephanie describes working with a kindergarten student who was described by staff as someone who never spoke. In her first session with him, he spoke immediately. She attributes this to the felt safety she worked to establish before anything else. She describes how she uses a total communication approach, honors every form of communication including grunting and hissing, and matches the child's energy rather than bringing high excitement.AAC Is Not a Last Resort | 00:30:29 Stephanie explains what AAC is and pushes back on the common concern that using a device will prevent a child from learning to speak. She draws a parallel to what Casey describes with PDA children more broadly: the issue is often not that the child lacks the ability, but that at times stress and sensory dysregulation are blocking access to that ability. She describes seeing communication expand when sensory needs were addressed first, and frames AAC as one tool in a total communication approach rather than a replacement for speech.How to Work With a School Team as a PDA Parent | 00:48:57 Stephanie's advice for parents trying to collaborate with a school team is to not be afraid to advocate. She says she has never viewed a parent as challenging, and that strong advocacy is not only a parent's right but something she personally appreciates. She suggests sharing resources from a place of curiosity rather than confrontation, asking for the team's expertise, and framing questions as "I found this and I'm curious what you think" rather than leading with disagreement. Relevant ResourcesWhat Is PDA — Foundation for understanding the nervous system lens Stephanie and Casey shareSchool, Screens and Siblings — A free class relevant for families navigating school-based challenges discussed in this episodeUnderstanding PDA — A free class for deeper context on regulation and autonomy

This is the fourth episode in my series on PDA and restrictive eating, and this one is for therapists. If you are an occupational therapist, a speech language pathologist, or another type of therapist working with a child who isn't responding to gentle, play-based, sensory-based, or exposure-based feeding approaches the way you'd expect, this episode designed to help you. I share the full arc of my older son Cooper's journey with extremely restrictive eating, from the time he was four and a half years old and eating primarily three processed foods, through five years of occupational therapy, to where he is today. I walk through how we adapted the SOS feeding protocol over time to incorporate autonomy, equality, lower demands, play, and connection to special interests. I also share five specific strategies you can bring into your sessions.Key TakeawaysThe Sensory Lens Is Not Enough | 00:02:04 I share how Cooper's restrictive eating was initially understood through a sensory lens, and how, for about a year and a half, that framing guided his therapy. But the sensory lens alone was not sufficient to explain the patterns I was seeing or to help him expand his eating. What I came to understand was that his survival drive for autonomy was also a major factor, and that the two had to be held together rather than treated separately.What Was and Was Not Working | 00:11:56 I walk through what was working in the early stages of occupational therapy, specifically the therapist's focus on establishing relationship and rapport before moving to skill acquisition, and the role that dopamine, novelty, and sensory-intense experiences played in Cooper's initial engagement. I also describe what was not working: visual schedules and laminated choice boards, pressure to describe sensory experiences verbally, and structured home-based feeding protocols. For a PDA child, I explain, even chosen structure can become an internal demand.Autonomy and Equality as Accommodations | 00:16:37 I describe two specific accommodations that became central to how we approached feeding therapy over five years: autonomy and equality. Autonomy meant shifting away from scheduled, structured feeding time and toward strewing, declarative language, and following Cooper's lead. Equality meant deliberately allowing him to win, be above the therapist and me in games, direct the session, and have the last word. I explain how these accommodations address the root cause of nervous system activation rather than managing the surface behavior.Lowering Demands in the Session | 00:29:35 I describe what it looked like to lower demands in the occupational therapy session itself, meaning doing things for Cooper that he was cognitively or physically capable of doing himself, so that his available capacity could go toward tolerating and engaging with food. I give specific examples and I address the common concern that this approach enables children rather than building independence, and explain why the logic is different for PDA.Special Interests as a Turning Point | 00:37:06 I describe the turning point in Cooper's feeding therapy, which came when eating became connected to his special interest in football. I explain how this connection made it possible to revisit things he had previously rejected, including the laminated food charts, but this time entirely on his terms. I also offer five specific strategies for therapists at the end of the episode.Relevant ResourcesFree Therapist Masterclass — Free class for OTs and therapists on PDA.What Is PDA? — Overview of PDA as a nervous system disability.Paradigm Shift Program —Our signature live coaching program where we walk families as they implement accommodations and move forward.

If you've heard me talk about autonomy, equality, and lowering demands before and thought, "But what does that actually look like at the dinner table?" — this episode is for you.This is the third episode in my series on eating and PDA, and it's the most practical one yet. I'm walking you through six concrete accommodations you can experiment with if your PDA child or teen struggles with restrictive eating: autonomy, equality, lowering demands, sensory accommodations, strewing, and novelty and dopamine. Throughout the episode, I share anonymized client anecdotes and real examples from my own life as a mother of two PDA sons — including how our family navigated mealtimes during the hardest years and what things look like now.This episode is meant to be an experiment you can try out and observe, not a prescription. I hope it it's helpful for you.Key TakeawaysWhy Restrictive Eating Happens | 00:00:00 Before getting into the practical tips, I revisit the causal logic for why eating is so often impacted in PDA children and teens. Control around eating tends to be the outcome of cumulative nervous system stress, and is often an attempt to reset autonomy and equality when a child can't find it in other areas of their life.Autonomy Around What, Where, When, How, and If | 00:03:43 I break down autonomy into five buckets — what, where, when, how, and if a child eats — and explain how each one shows up in practice. This includes examples from my own home, like allowing my son to eat in front of a screen for years, delivering food on demand, offering a buffet of options, and giving treats before or with meals without attaching conditions.Equality and Why It Matters at the Table | 00:22:41 I walk through what I mean by equality as a nervous system accommodation around food — not as a philosophical concept, but as something you can observe and act on. I share the story of how our family friend houseguests helped re-establish family dinners, and how my son Cooper started joining us at the table by running a drawing game where he was the judge and ranked all of us — an equality accommodation I sustained for about a year.Lowering Demands and the Sensory Intersection | 00:27:56 I explain what lowering demands actually means in the context of eating: doing things for your child they could technically do themselves, in service of helping them access food. I share examples like packing a 16-year-old's lunch, delivering pizza reheated to the exact right temperature, cutting crusts off bread, and wiping out Tupperware to eliminate even a molecule of moisture.Strewing, Novelty, and Dopamine | 00:35:51 I cover strewing — leaving food out without expectation — and why it works differently from direct offerings. I also share how we used novelty and dopamine in my son's feeding therapy, including a "game show" approach to sampling every variety of apple, and cutting apples into stars or making apple pasta with a Zoodler. I end with my hypothesis about why PDA individuals tend to seek dopamine, and what that means for how we can think about introducing foods.Relevant ResourcesWhat Is PDA — Background on PDA as a nervous system disabilityUnderstanding PDA — Deeper dive into PDA frameworks and accommodationsParadigm Shift Program — Our signature live coaching program where we walk with families as they implement accommodations and move their family forward.

In this episode — Part 2 of our series on eating and PDA — I walk through the 10 misconceptions about eating that I personally had to unlearn in order to help my son. These are beliefs that are completely reasonable for most children and even most neurodivergent children, but do not apply to pathologically demand avoidant kids and teens. I cover why "kids will eat when they're hungry" isn't empirically true for PDAers, why behavioral approaches (even gentle ones) can backfire, why restricting sugar may not be the strategy you think it is, and why looking at eating in isolation misses the bigger picture of cumulative nervous system stress.I also share what the research does and doesn't tell us, where the methodology gaps are when it comes to neurodivergence, and what has actually changed in our home over the years. If the approaches you've been trying aren't working — or are making things worse — this episode is for you.Key TakeawaysPDA Kids Won't Just "Eat When Hungry" | 00:05:52 I explain how PDA is defined by a survival drive for autonomy and equality that consistently overrides other survival instincts — including hunger. Even when a child is physiologically hungry, the internalized demand of needing to eat, combined with cumulative nervous system stress, can make eating impossible.Behavioral Methods Activate the Nervous System | 00:09:20 I walk through why behavioral approaches to feeding — including gentle ones like sticker charts, food rewards, or even subtly positive facial expressions — can backfire with PDA children. Because PDA is rooted in threat perception tied to autonomy, any method where a parent or therapist is the "decider" can trigger a nervous system response that makes eating harder, not easier.Restrictive Eating Is a Symptom, Not the Problem | 00:14:33 I describe how restrictive eating is often a tipping point — a symptom of cumulative nervous system stress that has built up over weeks, months, and sometimes years. Rather than focusing only on what happens at the moment of eating, I explain why it's important to look at the full picture of a child's daily life and accommodate across the board.Sensory Strategies Alone Won't Transform Eating | 00:26:15 I share how sensory-based feeding approaches, even fun and play-based ones, can still backfire if there isn't enough autonomy built in. I use an example from my own son's feeding therapy to illustrate how the lack of autonomy around engaging in a sensory protocol was causing him to avoid even the activities he enjoyed.Sugar, Bento Boxes, and Family Meals Reconsidered | 00:31:09 I go through several misconceptions I personally had to unlearn — including the idea that sugar is the main enemy, that colorful bento box meals represent good parenting, and that home-cooked family meals at regular times naturally lead to healthy eating. I share how I came to think about these differently for PDA children, including what actually changed in my own home over time.Relevant ResourcesWhat is PDA - a foundational overview of PDA as a nervous system disability.Free Burnout Masterclass - understand the burnout that can make restrictive eating so challenging for PDA kids.Paradigm Shift Program® - our signature live program where we support parents to help their PDA children and teens through and out of burnout so their whole family can thrive.CitationsLove Me, Feed Me - book by Katja Rowell.Schaefer, Michael, et al. "Experiencing sweet taste is associated with an increase in prosocial behavior." Scientific Reports 13.1 (2023): 1954.Hammons, Amber J., and Barbara H. Fiese. "Is frequency of shared family meals related to the nutritional health of children and adolescents?" Pediatrics 127.6 (2011): e1565-e1574.

If your child has dropped food after food, won't try new things no matter what you do, and every mealtime feels like a battle — this episode is the first in a four-part series where I get personal.I'm sharing the story of my oldest son Cooper, who at his lowest point was eating only Honey Nut Cheerios out of a single specific bowl. I walked through grocery store aisles sobbing, frantically looking for protein bars he might eat. I watched him go through the SOS feeding protocol in occupational therapy and add foods only to drop them again. I tried sneaking vitamins into his chocolate milk. Nothing was gaining traction — and I didn't understand why.In this first episode, I walk you through the years before I had a PDA lens: my own food-focused parenting, the Montessori methods I tried that he refused, the escalating meltdowns around eating, the developmental pediatrician who shamed me for not cooking every meal from scratch, and the moment I finally understood that the root cause of Cooper's eating struggles was not primarily sensory — it was autonomy and equality based.I also talk about what happened when I stopped the SOS feeding protocol, lowered demands around food, and gave him true autonomy around what, when, and where he ate — and what his eating looks like seven years later.This episode is for parents currently in the fear of it, for parents whose children have been diagnosed with ARFID or anorexia and haven't responded to traditional approaches, and for feeding therapists and other professionals who are wondering if there is another way to think about what they're seeing.This is also the first episode in a four-part series. Part 2 covers the logic of viewing eating through a PDA lens. Part 3 covers practical accommodation strategies. Part 4 is tailored specifically to feeding therapy settings.Key TakeawaysThe mango slice that changed everything | 00:07:29 Cooper was about four and a half when he wanted a third or fourth mango slice and I said no. He physically fought me for it, and it escalated into a two-hour screaming meltdown. After that, he refused to eat mango slices entirely — dropping yet another food from his repertoire. That moment was one of the first times I saw the pattern, though I didn't have a framework for it yet.Why the SOS feeding protocol stopped working | 00:16:05 We started the SOS protocol — a 30-step sensory-based exposure approach — and early on it was progressing. Looking back, I understand now that there was novelty, one-on-one attention, and a lot of autonomy built into the early stages because he didn't have to actually eat anything. But when we moved the protocol into the home during the pandemic, the novelty and dopamine were gone, and the rigid structure became something his nervous system perceived as a demand. He stopped engaging entirely.Dropping foods rather than expanding them | 00:19:43 The occupational therapist noticed an unusual pattern: every time Cooper added a new adjacent food through sensory bridging, he dropped the one he had previously been eating. His repertoire wasn't expanding — it was staying flat. Through the PDA lens, I later understood that this was him exerting control to get back to nervous system safety: always needing to be in the position of the decider.The grocery store moment | 00:23:06 I was standing in the aisle of a grocery store frantically picking out protein bars in birthday cake and double fudge brownie flavors, anything I could have in my back pocket for him to potentially eat. I was sobbing. I had watched him drop chocolate milk — his one reliable source of protein. I didn't understand why nothing was working. That moment was when I knew that the frameworks I'd been using didn't apply.What shifted — and what seven years looks like | 00:26:46 When I finally understood that the root cause was autonomy and equality based — not primarily sensory — I made the decision to stop the SOS protocol, lower demands around food completely, and give him true autonomy: letting him choose what, when, where, and whether he ate, even if that meant Lay's potato chips, Pirate's Booty, and popcorn for almost two years. It was hard. There were moments I reverted, and I could immediately observe his eating reduce. But slowly, he began adding things back. Seven years later he eats carrots, apples, tacos, steak, salmon, pork shoulder, smoothies, pizza, and more — alongside processed food — and he is healthy and growing.Relevant ResourcesWhat is PDA? — Start here for a foundational overview.Free Burnout Masterclass — Cooper's eating crisis happened in burnout — learn more about burnout here.Is My Child PDA? — Take the free survey and/or class to help figure this out.

In this episode I speak with a mom who knows the PDA lens is the right approach for her 9-year-old adopted son, but is having difficulty getting her husband and parents on board. We also discussed:Understanding her adopted son through the PDA Lens, rather than a disorgnanized attachment lensFraming with her husband trying lowered demands and more autonomy as an experiment so that the stakes don't feel so highExamples of non-violent communication requests with the grandparents, so that they don't correct the child at the dinner tableDropping the desire to "convince" or "explain" Pathological Demand Avoidance to people in her life I hope it is helpful to you :) xo, CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode, I spoke with Kendahl Damashek about the concept of radical acceptance while parenting a PDA child. Kendahl is a PDA autistic mother with four PDA children 10 and under. (She's also one of the wonderful coaches on our team.)In the conversation we spoke about:

In this episode I speak with Pam, a mother of twin PDA 10-year-olds and a third younger sibling.Pam has been parenting through a PDA lens for years, but one of the twins is having a harder time than the other. We talked about ways to support him, as well as mindsets that can help Pam when she worries that progress is moving slowly, and feels grief.These are experiences common to most if not all parents of PDAers, and I am sure her story will resonate with many listeners.xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I speak with Christopher Deutsch, a PDA angel investor about his own life and the how some of the common traits of PDA can be beneficial to a career in entrepreneurialism. I loved having this conversation, and hope you'll enjoy listening!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.Mentioned in this episode:Want to check out our special "Try Before You Buy" offer for the Paradigm Shift Program. Use the link below to learn more and join the program waitlist to get access to the offer.Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with a mom about her 17 year old PDA son's substance abuse, as well as his near constant presence in the family living room and the impact this has on their household. We talk through the mother's preference for her son to be home and physically safe -- instead of out and in danger, as he has been in the past -- and the cost of this for her and their family. We discuss all of this in the context of the son recently earning his GED and wanting to get a job. I hope you find the conversation helpful. xo, CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.Mentioned in this episode:Want to check out our special "Try Before You Buy" offer for the Paradigm Shift Program. Use the link below to learn more and join the program waitlist to get access to the offer.Paradigm Shift Program

This is the third episode of our three-part series on navigating hygiene with your PDA child or teen. (Pathological Demand Avoidance/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)In this episode, I talk through practical strategies to support a PDA child or teen with the following: Bathing and ShoweringHair WashingHair BrushingNail Clipping Hand WashingGetting Dressed I also discuss the logic of why accessing hygiene is difficult of some PDA children and teens, help you prioritize which hygiene practices *actually* matter to health and well-being and which you may be able to let go, and provide tons of examples of how to use accommodations such as: Lowering demandsAutonomyEqualityNoveltyI hope this episode lowers your stress level as a parent and gives you creative ideas to experiment with as you provide caregiving to your PDA child or teen!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.Mentioned in this episode:Want to check out our special "Try Before You Buy" offer for the Paradigm Shift Program. Use the link below to learn more and join the program waitlist to get access to the offer.Paradigm Shift Program

This is the second episode in our three-part series on hygiene and PDA. In this episode we deep dive on helping your PDA child or teen go to the dentist and brush their teeth.Specifically, we support parents (and therapists) to understand:Why teeth brushing and going to the dentist are so difficult for PDA children and teensPractical tips they can use to help a PDA child or teen access teeth brushingSpecific examples of how to use autonomy, equality, lowered demands, novelty, and humor to support a PDA child or teen's teeth brushingStrategies and example scripts to use when speaking to the dentist or dental hygienist before your child or teen goes to their next appointment.I hope you find it helpful!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This is the first of three episodes about hygiene and Pathological Demand Avoidance. In this episode I focused on how to think about PDA and hygiene struggles, and understanding the root cause of struggles around:Teeth brushing Going to the dentistShowering and bathingHair washingHand washingNail clippingHair cuttingGetting dressedMore specifically, in this episode I talk through:The Deep Why behind hygiene strugglesSensory vs. Autonomy as a root cause of avoidanceThe cumulative nature of PDA and control coalescing around a basic need (in this case hygiene)Discernment - Asking yourself the right questions about burnout and whether hygiene is the "stickiest" basic need for your child or teen.Decision-making around boundaries before we worry about accommodationsI hope you find the show helpful. I'll release two more episodes on hygiene soon!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I coach a mom of a 10-year-old PDAer who is in burnout (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). The child loves to cook and bake but has a meltdown if family members clean up after her while she's in the kitchen. She also melts down if others pass by her bedroom on the way to their own, which her mom has to do if she's going to clean the kitchen after her daughter leaves. We talked through if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was also present, but decided to focus on working through the PDA lens. We then used our decision making framework to determine how the mother could manage their bedtime routine in a way that would be more pleasant for everyone. I hope you find the conversations helpful. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.This is the second of two episodes in which Donna and I discussed this topic. In the first episode we covered five of her tips, and in this episode we cover five more.Here they are:Reflect on successNormalize discomfort and fearLet go of future fearsPause social media as neededBreathe -- you're doing great!I hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens. We cover five of her tips in this episode and will release another episode soon with five more. Here's the first five:Try to keep autonomy and equality at the forefrontShift from parent to mentor-friendBe vulnerable and transparentRelease the pressure to figure it all outRedefine regressionI hope you find our conversation helpful!PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alex Klein and I discuss ten common misconceptions about Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.Here are five from Dr. Klein:The parent of a PDAer is doing something wrong, especially if they've lowered demands.If a PDA child did something yesterday, they can do it again today.Accommodations won't prepare PDA kids for the real world.Progress made by a PDA child is measured by what we see on the surface.Behaviorism (behavioral parenting) will be enough.And here are five from me, in strong collaboration with my PDA 11- and 7-year-olds:PDA kids are bad kids.How much freedom PDA kids need.It's not behavioral, it's stress.Why and when they can hide nervous system stress.Potatoes are green and they smell like poop :)I hope the episode is helpful to you!xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This episode is for parents who are interested in toilet training in a PDA-informed way.This the third episode in my three-part series on toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance.In this episode I cover toilet/potty training with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I cover the following:Is my child or teen in a good place for toilet training?Story of toilet training my older son before I knew of PDA, and why I think it still worked (spoiler - we intuitively did a lot of accommodating).10 tips for if and when you decide to toilet train your PDA child or teen.I hope this is helpful for you and your family.xoxo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode, I spoke to a grandmother raising her 8-year-old PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) Autistic grandson who she had been homeschooling for a year-and-a-half after school trauma in first grade.We discussed:- Helping her grandson attend an in-person appointment with the pediatrician, so he could get a refill of his medication.- The different approaches she could take to decide her actions in this tough situation.- The fear of losing trust and the progress they have made by forcing him to the doctor's office.- Experimenting with ideas for how to prepare her grandson for the doctor's visit with an indirect mode of communications, and how to leverage his special interest of elevators to support him accessing medical care.We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. It's from our live show "Parenting PDA Your Way" that I host on our social media at 1pm ET on Fridays.Warmly,CaseyPS - The grandma in this episode mentions our Paradigm Shift Program. Want to join the waitlist for the next cohort? Here's the link.

This is my second of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on what to do if your child has challenges with:1 - Wiping2 - Accidents3 - Holding and constipation4 - Pooping outside the toilet5 - Peeing outside the toiletOf course, I'm talking through taking a PDA/nervous system approach to helping your child or teen with these challenges. If you want to take a deeper dive into understanding why your PDA child or teen has these challenges, please check out my previous podcast episode (Ep. 142).Also, in this episode I mention the decision making process I teach parents who are trying to decide when they should change their child or teen's diaper if doing so causes activation. If you want to learn more about making such decisions (or others), I teach how to do so in my free masterclass: School, Screens and Siblings, Oh My! Here's a link to where you can sign up for it for free:https://at-peace-parents-podcast.captivate.fm/sssohxo,Casey

This is my first of three episodes about toileting and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).This episode is focused on how to think about toileting over the long term with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I talk through:1 - Your questions in the following categories: wiping, holding and constipation, potty training, going outside the toilet, and accidents2 - Logic and root cause of toileting struggles through the PDA lens3 - What a stickiest basic need is and whether or not your child is in burnout4 - 5 things to try in your home now5 - Tracking progress so you can see clearly if this approach is helping your childI hope it's a helpful episode for you.Xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I spoke with a mom of a 4-year-old PDAer (Pathological Demand Avoidant) and a 10-month-old baby living in an apartment in Scotland. She had just learned about PDA one month ago and had already made huge and brave changes in her home and parenting to support he son. We discussed:- How to start making a parenting paradigm shift if you are new to PDA. - The importance of an experimental mindset as you are trying out new ways of supporting and accommodating your PDA child.- How to pick your priorities for boundaries in the home. In this case we focused on safety around the baby, bedtime, and bathing once a week. - How nervous system activation is cumulative over time (months and years) for PDA children and teens, which means we don't have to be perfect with accommodations, just consistent. This episode is from the show we stream live on Fridays on our social media, "Parenting PDA Your Way." I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!With love,Casey

Sorcha Rice is an occupational therapist and the clinical manager of Neurodiversity Ireland, who I met at their 1st conference last year. She identifies as AuDHD and PDA and spoke with me about how she understands and experiences PDA, what her childhood and teen years were like before she was diagnosed, going through burnout and recovery, how she manages her nervous system now, and some of the practices she incorporates to support her PDA occupational therapy clients.It was wonderful to connect with Sorcha and hear her insights and so much of her story!I hope you enjoy it too.Xoxo,CaseyPS - You can find more about Sorcha on instagram at both @ot_sorcharice and @neurodiversityirelandAnd in our conversation she also recommended a resource for other OTs - Kim Barthel.

In this episode I speak with a mom of a six-year-old PDAer who wouldn't eat or drink and was extremely dysregulated during a holiday because of a loose tooth.We discussed:1 - how internal demands and losses of autonomy like losing a tooth matter as much as external demands.2 - the importance of understanding PDA as a fluctuating nervous system disability.3 - creative ideas for deepening accommodations the next time there is a loose tooth. I hope you find the episode helpful. It's from the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays, Parenting PDA Your Way.xo,Casey

Here's part 2 of my episode on the 10 hardest lessons I learned in 2025. They include:6 - Your PDA child can go into burnout even if you're fully accommodating them.7 - Burnout can feel like you are making no progress, especially with an internalizer.8 - Screens can be a wonderful thing.9 - Your kids will surprise you.10 - Spirituality sustained me.xoxo,Casey

Happy New Year! I'm kicking off 2026 by sharing the 10 hardest lessons I learned parenting my PDAers (often the hard way) in 2025. The first five are in this episode:1 - There are some things in life you can't outsource2 - The key to sanity is accepting constraints and finding agency within them3 - Doubt about PDA is the antidote to dogma4 - The importance of trusting yourself in the face of judgement5 - Burnout with trauma is different than burnout without traumaxo,Casey

In this episode I talk with a mom about her 7-year-old daughter - with PDA, ADHD and anxiety - about when she might help her build her frustration tolerance, and when she likely cannot.We also dive in on a specific challenge she was facing when her both her daughters need support at the same time.The conversation is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Facebook, Instagram and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom of a PDA 14-year-old who regulates himself by wrestling his father after school each day, which causes Mom lots of anxiety. Together we use my cost-benefit decision making tool to weigh her options and she then decides a new strategy to try.I hope this episode is helpful for you. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Instagram, Facebook and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mother of a PDA teen about:Setting boundaries when other kids are involvedMaking decisions in public when you are being judgedHelping young siblings understand the PDA threat response.The episode is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live most Fridays on our Instagram, Facebook, YouTube accounts.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I spoke with clinical psychologist Alex Klein about considerations when thinking about getting an evaluation for Autism or PDA as an adultmy own neurodivergencedoing therapy as a neurodivergent adultgetting an evaluation and therapy for your PDA child or teenI hope you find it helpful!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about a time her daughter melted down and then wouldn't allow Mom to step away and take the pause she needed to regulate herself to be able to support her daughter. These situations are so tough - and sometimes there is nothing you can do but endure them - and so in this conversation we talked about how to find meaning in this parenting experience.This podcast episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom about her PDA daughter, who pinches and scratches Mom as she is falling asleep. It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I speak with a mom whose PDA son constantly wants to play with neighbors' kids - no matter how many times he may have already knocked on the door that day - and melts down if she says no.It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

Samantha's 13-year-old PDA daughter wants to buy things all the time, and gets dysregulated when her parents say "no." It's a common and difficult problem for many parents of PDA children and teens, and in this week's episode I talk it through with Samantha.The episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you!xo,Casey

In this episode I talk through how I've come to realize my second son is also PDA - with a more internalized expression than my first - and how the process has been both similar and different from the first time. I hope it's helpful for you :)

In today's episode I speak with Megan, the mother of an 8-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her sibling on the walk to school. Megan comes up with something to try for a couple weeks to see if it's helpful. I hope the conversation is helpful for you, too :)

In this episode I talk with Carrie - mother of a 12-year-old PDAer - about how to support her son when he gets dysregulated by not knowing what to do during free time - especially after school and on weekends.

In this episode I coach Lierin as she navigates the equalizing her 5-year-old daughter does against her 8-year-old sister. Specifically we discuss how to help the older daughter understand PDA and the "unfairness" it brings about.

Sometimes our PDA children equalize against us and it triggers us - perhaps because of our own neurodivergence, childhood trauma, or other challenges. In this episode of the podcast - from our new live show - I coach Christine through such a situation with her PDA daughter. I hope it's helpful for you

This episode is a conversation with Dominique, mother of a 4-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her 2-year-old. Dominique also has a third child, and joined our live show - Parenting PDA Your Way - to talk through how to handle these situations.I hope you find our conversation helpful. xo,Casey

In this episode I work with Lierin, a mom who is frustrated that what other adults think about her parenting impacts her, and unsure if this is an obstacle to radical acceptance of her child's PDA. Thank you Lierin for sharing your story to help other families. I know many of us can relate!Also, this is the first podcast episode where I share the coaching conversations I'm doing on my new show: "Parenting PDA Your Way". We're live streaming the show most Fridays at 10am ET on Facebook and YouTube.

As parents of PDA children and teens we do a ton of work to support and heal the nervous systems of our kids, often at the expense of our own (also sensitive) nervous systems. So for this episode I invited Afshan Tafler, a nervous system expert, to speak with me.We talked about:The impact on a parent's nervous system of raising a PDA child or teenWhy we get into fixing modeSome tools to support your nervous system(Parental burnout)I hope it's helpful!xo,CaseyMentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

How do we help our kids develop a positive self image, no matter their diagnosis? In this episode I walk through the steps of helping your PDA child or teen do so, and in a way that provides them autonomy and equality throughout. It's an excerpt from one of the live workshops of our Paradigm Shift Program. I hope it's helpful!Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Caroline Thor about the tremendous impacts of changing her parenting approach - for her PDA son, her family, and herself as a professional. I hope it's helpful to you.xo,CaseyCaroline's Website Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

How do I feel about AI, and how do I use it with my PDA child? In this episode I talk through these things and more with Kelly Edwards, founder of the 90-Minute School Day. As a mom of a PDAer herself, and an expert in the homeschooling/unschooling space, Kelly brings great insight to our conversation. I hope you find it helpful!Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift Program

Not all demand avoidant children and teens are PDA. In this episode I talk through how to know if your child fits the profile for PDA, which is important, because it suggests a different root cause for their avoidance than for non-PDA demand avoidant kids. And of course, you want to know what the root cause is so you know how best to support your child or teen.I hope this is helpful to all.xo,Casey

Paradigm Shift Program alumna Rachel shares her story in this episode, which includes insight she gained enduring serious sickness as a young adult. She brings this perspective to the hardest moments and eras parenting her PDA children, and explains the difference that can make, even while being incredibly difficult. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Aoife, who shares her journey as a PDA parent of a PDA child. I hope you find her insights and experiences helpful as you navigate your own journeys.Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

I think PDA is its own neurotype, different from non-PDA Autism and ADHD. That doesn't mean PDA kids, teens and adults can't also be Autistic or ADHD - many are, including at least one of my sons. But it means there's a different logic for how we support PDA children and teens - even if they are also Autistic or ADHD - based on the unique way their brain and nervous system works. Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program

You're not doing it wrong! And I know this because there is not one right or wrong to parent a PDA child. Parents I work with make tons of different decisions - and change those decisions over time - depending on the unique circumstances, opportunities, values and constraints they face. And I love that! Mentioned in this episode:Paradigm Shift ProgramWant me to coach you as you learn and practice the skills and mindsets I talk about in my podcast? I'd love to work with you in my proven-effective Paradigm Shift Program. Click the link to learn more and join the program interest list. Paradigm Shift Program