Embrace the Wrestle

                                                       Greed Power and Self Confidence Hello and welcome back to Embrace The Wrestle.  I'm glad you're here!!  I've been thinking a lot about this crazy upside down we seem to be living in, and what we can do to make it better.  I don't know about you, but I know I become disheartened, disappointed, discouraged by all of the discord, all of the blaming, and certainly all of the violence that is taking place. It seems that no matter where I look, in my local community, my state, the United States, and the world, there is ugliness that is pervasive.   It all hurts my heart.  In everyday life people can be so cruel to one another…. Reading comments on FB, or on the Neighbor app… I don't understand why people have to be so mean.  And then if I look at the bigger picture of politics and politicians, I become even more disappointed and even ANGRY.  GREED and POWER.  That's what I see.  Why “everyday people” have to be so mean to one another, or why people in powerful positions often see the need to hide the facts from us “everyday people” … I can become so incensed… do they really think we're so stupid that we're not able to see thru their lies???  I don't care which side of the fence you're looking at politically, they're all lying to us (at least that's my humble opinion).  GREED… wanting more and more, taking and not giving.   POWER… being in control with selfish motives.  I may not understand all of the underpinnings of GREED and POWER, because I think there can be as many reasons for these types of behaviors/actions as there are people, but I do think there are some basic characteristics. underneath all of this.  On an Individual level I think we can become so concerned about being “right” that we become “threatened” by the possibility of being wrong, we become “threatened” by someone that holds a different opinion.  It feels better if others are in agreement with us, group consensus can tell us that WE'RE RIGHT, and it's COMFORTABLE knowing that others are in my camp.  But the problem with that comfort in “knowing that we're right” can put BLINDERS on us…. We're only able to see things in a certain way, through “our” lens of what's right and wrong.  It doesn't leave any room for discussion, let alone questioning or re-examining our stance.  My thoughts have long been that the more CONFIDENCE a person has, the better their SELF-ESTEEM is the more comfortable that person is going to be with listening to a different viewpoint, to actually having a calm/civil discussion with someone who holds a different viewpoint.  If I like the person I am and feel comfortable and CONFIDENT in my skin then I'm going to be able to allow myself to think outside of the “box” that I've created for myself, or perhaps that others' have created for me.  I believe that SELF CONFIDENCE allows us to be comfortable with those who disagree with us.  The SELF-CONFIDENT person isn't going to be Threatened by someone with a different opinion.  The SELF-CONFIDENT person is going to welcome discussion and even questioning.  Perhaps the most significant part of being SELF CONFIDENT is that it allows us to be wrong without feeling that we've “lost face”, without losing faith in ourselves.  But to the contrary, if I don't have much SELF CONFIDENCE I'm going to be threatened by “being wrong”, I'm going to feel that I “lost face”, that others are judging me because I was wrong…. That's going to feed into my feeling “less than”.   None of us want to feel “less than” … so if that's my fear I'm going to fight hard to prevent that from happening…. I'm going to tear the other person down first…. I'm going to make

New Year Transitions and ConfessionsHello….And Happy New Year !! I hope the New year is off to a good start for you! I'm BACK… after a rather lengthy, and unplanned absence

In this episode LaDema talks about Emotionally Healthy Boundaries and why they are important.  Several examples are given of different scenarios and how Emotionally Healthy Boundaries could be set.  Take Away Points: *When do we know that we need Emotionally Healthy Boundaries:    . Usually when we are feeling resentful, angry, or realize we're doing a good deal of whining or complaining about something.  *Without EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY BOUNDARIES:           .We can subject ourselves to feeling EXPOSED or VULNERABLE          .We are always consenting to what everyone else wants or needs, at the expense of sacrificing our own wants/needs *What are some the things that Prevent us from setting EHBs?           .The fear of REJECTION or ABANDONMENT           .Wanting to AVOID CONFRONTATION          .Feelings of GUILT (we are not doing anything wrong)          .We were never taught or shown how to do this  *What's the Risk or Cost of EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES:           .We can share too much too soon, leading to that feeling of Vulnerability or Exposure          .We can keep our Boundaries so tight or rigid that we close ourselves off from others          .We don't allow ourselves to say NO out of fear of REJECTION           .We keep a weak sense of self because we base our self value on how others treat us          .We continue to allow ourselves to be DISEMPOWERED by allowing others to make decisions for us…this can lead to a feeling of POWERLESSNESS over self          .We Don't take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves, because we're allowing others to make decisions for us… this can lead to a sense of VICTIMIZATION.  *The BENEFITS of EHBs:           .We have a sense of taking good care of ourselves, and this can lead to improved or positive Self-Esteem          .We are protecting our Emotional and Physical space from being intruded upon          .We begin to feel a sense of ASSERTIVENESS as we practice saying Yes or No in SPEAKING UP FOR OURSELVES          .We end up EMPOWERING ourselves to make healthy choices and take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves!!  *Dos of EHBs           .Do be CLEAR, CALM, FIRM, RESPECTFUL when setting EHBs           .Do REMEMBER your are NOT responsible for the other person's reaction to your boundary           .Do REMEMBER that it takes TIME and PRACTICE           .Do EXPECT that the EHBs will be TESTED… likely more than once email: ladema@embracethewrestle.netFacebook: embracethewrestleInstagram: embracethewrestleWebsite: www.embracethewrestle.net 

Learning, Intuition, and Decision MakingIn this episode I talk about my recent learning (from podcasts and books) related to intuition, guidance, and how I applied this to decision making for the Willow Group.  I'm excited to announce that I am starting (Life) Coaching for Moms of Adult Children with Addiction.  Something that I have personal experience with, and also professional experience from my years of working in Addictions as an Advanced Practice Nurse.  I want to give Moms the tools to navigate this treacherous journey, focusing on Healthy Emotional Boundaries.  Leading Moms to a sense of HOPE that can in turn lead to PEACE.  I'm also excited to share that my son, Aaron, has joined the Willow Group.  Aaron will be providing (Life) Coaching to those who are, or who have recently, walked the path of addiction.  He will be sharing the tools and wisdom he gained through his journey through addiction.  Aaron will provide guidance for the person with Addiction to bridge the gap between the life they are living now, and the life they desire... and perhaps the life they never thought they could have.  Contacts:  Email: ladema@embracethewrestle.net Website: www.embracethewrestle.net Facebook: Embrace the WrestleFreedom CoachingInstagram:embracethewrestle freedomcoaching369

Reflect and Learn your Self Truths 

Courage This episode was inspired by the Courageous soldiers and people of Ukraine.  In this episode we take a look at what we need to courage to face in our every day life.  Is it relationships, abuse, health issues, addictions, etc.  There is no magic formula to create COURAGE.... we all have it inside of us.... it's about facing the tough things in spite of the FEAR.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233The National Domestic Violence Website:  www.thehotline.orgAlcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.orgNarcotics Anonymous: www.na.org National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-8255                                                                                      Text 741741     Veterans   call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1                                       Text : 838255

*Self-Love and Self care are NOT Selfish or Narcissistic acts *How we Love others is how we can love ourselves *Self-Love consists of : .VULNERABILITY.HONESTY.ACCEPTANCE.FORGIVENESS and GRACE All of these aspects of Self-Love can then result in SELF RESPECT and a sense of VALUE*SELF CARE  occurs within a Wholistic Framework.SPIRITUAL.MENTAL/COGNITIVE .PHYSICAL.EMOTIONAL This podcast guides the listener thru looking at these different aspects, traits, and actions to improve a sense of self-worth/self-respect/self-love; as well as looking at the wholistic aspects of Self Care.  ****AN INCENTIVE IS AVAILABLE FOR THE 1ST 3 PEOPLE TO CONTACT LaDEMA : .Contact via the website at : www.embracethewrestle.net Contact via email:  ladema@embracethewrestle.net .Contact by rating and reviewing on Apple Podcasts National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 or  text: 741741      Veterans call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 or text 838255

Happy New Year !Looking back on 2021 to figure out what we want to leave behind, what we want to bring forward, and what we want to create in 2022.  Questions to ask yourself: *What were your Experiences in 2021?  - loss, distance, connection, isolation, travel * What did last year teach you?      Trust vs Mistrust                                                                            Acceptance vs resistance                                                                             Creation/Change vs Stagnation                                                                             Hope vs Disappointment *What were the most difficult parts/aspects of your 2021?           How were you able to get through the difficult parts?           What can you do to prevent or minimize a recurrence of the negative parts of                2021 (what do you have control of?)*What beliefs or characteristics of yourself helped to bring you through the challenges? *What beliefs or characteristics of yourself served as obstacles during the past year? *What were the best parts of your 2021? *What was your overall Tone/emotion during 2021? *What was the overall Theme of your 2021? *What changes need to occur in 2022 to help provide a better, more satisfying year? *What do you want/need to let go of in 2022? *What do you want/need to carry with you in 2022? *What do you want to create in 2022, what do you want 2022 to look like? The Serenity Prayer God grand me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot changeThe COURAGE to change the things I can And the WISDOME to know the difference My word for 2021: Fruition My word for 2022: Manifest The cool website I mentioned: www. myintent.org PLEASE email me with your thoughts, answers to these questions, what you want to create for yourself in 2022!!  ladema@embracethewrestle.net Check out the Website:  www.embracethewrestle.net 

Listen to some tips to help your family gatherings be more like a Hallmark picture than an episode of the Jerry Springer show!  :) Check out the Website:  embracethewrestle.net  Happy Thanksgiving!  

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness month, so what better time than now to talk about Suicide.  SUICIDAL IDEATION:  This refers to someone thinking about killing themselves, entertaining thoughts of DEATH, and perhaps considering a PLAN of how they will end their life.  SUICIDE ATTEMPT is when someone carries out a potentially lethal plan, but lives through it, sometimes completely unscathed.  Other times the person lives through the SUICIDE ATTEMPT, but not without serious injury, such as medical emergencies related to Overdose, Gunshot wounds, and the like.  SUICIDE which is defined as an actual DEATH INTENTIOINALLY caused by a self-directed injurious behavior with the intent to die.  RISK FACTORS:  *Mental Illness with Depression being the most prevalent; also Bipolar Disorder, Substance Use Disorders, Schizophrenia/Psychosis, PTSD *Crying out for help*Loneliness and Isolation*Feeling like a Failure *Impulsivity*Family History of Suicide *Terminal Illnesses PROTECTIVE FACTORS: *Faith or Belief System*Family/Friends/Pets *Sense of Responsibility to someone or something*Lack of access to the means of a suicide planWARNING SIGNS: *Acting differently:     Different Sleep/Appetite patterns                                                Withdrawal/Isolation                                                Appearing Anxious or Agitated                                                Looking Depressed                                                 Becoming Impulsive; doing things out of character                                                 Becoming Angry or full of Rage; focusing on Revenge*Talking about being a Burden to others*Feeling Hopeless/Helpless*Feelings of having No Purpose in life*Talking about extreme Guilt *Researching ways to commit Suicide *Focusing on Death*Writing good by letters *Giving away prized possessions *Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself WHAT YOU CAN DO: *Talk to the person.  Ask them if they are ok.  Ask them if they are thinking about killing themselves.   Use good listening skills and let the person know they are being heard.  Don't try to minimize what they are going through or try to convince them that things really aren't that bad.  *Keep the person safe.  Eliminate potential methods of Suicide such as guns, lethal medications, ropes, etc.  Enlist the help of someone close to the person and who the person trusts.  *Help CONNECT the person to a professional for help.  Help the person call the National Suicide Prevention number: 1-800-273-8255 (Press option 1 for Veterans).  Help the person connect with treatment at a Community Mental Health Center or other Mental Health agency.  Contact clergy if indicated or wanted by the person.  Call 911 if there is eminent risk of suicide. *Stay connected with the person after the Crisis. 

Mental Pressure is discussed and examined with regard to Internal vs External focus; various sources and issues related to Mental Pressure.  Tips on managing symptoms of Mental Pressure as well as methods of deflecting Mental Pressure.  Sources:  family/parents/significant others/partners/spouses ; Work/peers/bosses; School/teachers/coachesIssues: School/Career/Performance/Appearance/Relationships/Sexual Orientation/Sexual Activity/Use of Alcohol/Tobacco/Drugs BreathRealize YOU are in control of YouEvaluate your Values/Goals Have Conversations Take Breaks Have a Healthy Routine:  Move your body daily; Inhale fresh air daily; Recharge your battery routinely 

Happiness....is it something elusive, or is it something that we can strive for? LaDema talks about why Happiness is important in our lives, and how we can create it within ourselves.  By changing our thoughts, and brain chemistry, we can develop a sense of happiness that then leads to different actions and behaviors.  Happiness really can be a choice!  

Today we will be talking about LONELINESS: Before, During, and After the Pandemic, or at least as things are beginning to loosen up with the Pandemic…  I will also be sharing with you what a few people had to say about Loneliness and the Pandemic.  We'll talk about Embracing and Wrestling with the Loneliness in order to be able to release the negative emotions associated with it.  We'll also look at what can be learned from loneliness, as well as ways to manage it.  

Welcome to the 1st episode  of Embrace the Wrestle: Everything Mental Health and Life in general!  A podcast hosted by LaDema Cummings, an Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse who has worn many hats in the field of Mental Health/Psychiatry for the past 30 years.   In this episode LaDema introduces herself and what you can expect from the Embrace the Wrestle Podcast.  Mental Health issues can no longer be ignored or swept under the rug.  Let's STOMP out the STIGMA related to Mental Health

Welcome to the trailer of Embrace the Wrestle: Everything Mental Health and Life in general!  Listen to a brief introduction of Embrace the Wrestle, a podcast hosted by LaDema Cummings, an Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse who has worn many hats in the field of Mental Health/Psychiatry for the past 30 years.   Mental Health issues can no longer be ignored or swept under the rug.  Let's STOMP out the STIGMA related to Mental Health!  You can expect to hear a new episode of this podcast the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.  Please enjoy, like, and subscribe.  Thank-you