RabbiSholk Mindfulness & Judaism

We're starting a new series - a collection of inspirational quotes - one per episode. But we want your help! Send your favorite quotes. What are some of your most favorite quotes? How do the quotes resonate for you? How do they help you? What revelation did they bring to you? How do they support your spiritual process?We want to hear about your experience and inspirations!

In this episode, we cover How To Work A Program, inspired by quotes from Codepe​ndents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA) Quote #1 - “We do this with the understanding that our parents were probably at least as victimized as we were, perhaps more so, but we temper it with the knowledge that understanding does not mean we have to continue to allow ourselves to be harmed or brainwashed.” (p205 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “Codependency can contribute to relapse if it is not addressed.” (p209 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “Our sobriety began with abstinence and recovery from our addictions. Our lives began with recovery from codependency.” (p209 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “The goal of recovery from codependency…has been to restore us to sanity so we could participate in healthy, loving relationships — if that was our decision and choice.” (p212 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “There is a great deal of wisdom inherent in the policy of keeping our hands off other people's business, as it pertains to their choices about relationships. It is not our job to advise others about what their choices need to be or when they need to make those choices.” (pp 212- 213 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Twelve of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA) STEP 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to practice these principals in all our affairs. Quote #1 - “Inviting someone to a meeting is a powerful way to help others. Going to our meetings and sharing how recovery works for us is another way to carry the message.” (p185 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “Sometimes we share bits and pieces of our story; other times we tell more. By telling our story, we help others and ourselves. By listening to others talk, we become helped. Talking about ourselves, what we are learning, what we are facing, what we are overcoming, is a powerful way to carry the message.” (p185 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “The most powerful form of helping others comes from helping ourselves. When we do our own work, feel our own feelings, change our own beliefs, and take care of ourselves, when we are honest and open about who we are and what we are working on, we affect others more than by our best-intentioned helping gestures. We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.” (p185 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “Some of us want so badly to bring those we love with us on this journey. But we cannot. That decision is not our choice. The only person we can take on this journey for certain is ourselves.”(p186 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “Understand this, my friend: We do not ever help anyone or have one iota of positive influence on them by standing or staying in the darkness with them. Ignoring ourselves does not benefit us, and it does not help others.” (p186 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “The most powerful and positive impact we can have on our family is to lead a healthy, happy life.” (p187 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “All people are always changing. If I try to judge them, I do so only on what I think I know of them, failing to recognize there is much I do not know.” (p188 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #8 - “It can also be terminal. We may develop stress-related illnesses that can kill us. Or we may spend our lives walking around wishing we were dead.” (p193 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #9 - “What is clear from talking to people and listening to their stories of recovery is that those who are making the most progress and finding the most freedom from their codependency are those who work the Steps and allow the Steps to work in their lives.” (p195 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #10 - “I am not separate from God. I am not an outsider knocking on the door, cringing in fear, waiting to be let in. I can take God's hand, and be cocreator, allowing God to take the lead. I am not helpless. I have choices. We have choices. One choice we have is not to be victims anymore. This is a lesson I find myself facing again and again. Always, I must learn it before I can move forward. I must transmute my present circumstances and allow myself to be transformed by them. I cannot do this when I am a victim. I am not outside of the Creator. I am a creation. Now, finally, I am connected to myself. I awakened to God, and I awakened to myself. And I am learning how to be connected to others. I can look to them to love and comfort me, but I am learning that nurturing the frightened child within is my job, and I will be in trouble when I run around the world expecting someone else to do that job for me.” (p197 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Eleven of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA) STEP 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. Quote #1 - “Going with the flow doesn't mean we don't rock the boat. It means we finally can.” (p169) Quote #2 - “There are times to surrender, times to let go, times to give in. There are times to wait and times to take action. There are times to be gentle and nurturing, times to give, and times to receive. There are times to speak up, own our power, and take care of ourselves...”(p169) Quote #3 - “Praying is talking to God. A prayer can be a word or a thought. It can be an expression of joy or sorrow. A prayer can be a letter to God. Or it can be a traditional prayer.”(p171) Quote #4 - “We are free to pray any way we choose: standing, sitting, kneeling, eyes closed, eyes open, lying in bed, or walking down a dirt path through the woods.”(p171) Quote #5 - “Prayer doesn't need to be complicated. We can talk silently, directing our thoughts to God. Or we can talk aloud, as we would to a person. We don't have to change our language to talk to God...”(p171 ) Quote #6 - “Praying is how we keep ourselves — our souls — connected to God. It is where change begins.” (p173) Quote #7 - “...the goal of meditation is to quiet ourselves and our thoughts, relax, become centered and peaceful, and tune into God and ourselves...”(p175) Quote #8 - “Meditation, I've discovered, is no more a waste of time than stopping to put gas in the car.”(p175) Quote #9 - “We build a connection to God by building a connection to ourselves.”(p175) Quote #10 - “It means I can trust the flow. I can trust myself. I can trust God. When it is time, I shall be empowered to do that which I need to do. I shall receive the insights, the help, the ability, the growth, the guidance, when it is time. If I can't do it yet, then it's not time.” (p176 ) Quote #11 - “Something is happening. Something good is being worked out, in and around us. Something important. We are learning our lessons, and we will continue to learn them. When it is time, we will be empowered to do all that we are meant to do. We can relax and go with the flow.” (p177) Quote #12 - “We can relax and go with the flow, even when the flow hurts, even when we're not certain where it's taking us. The hard times will not last forever. The confusion will not last forever. Clarity will come. The answer will come. The darkness of our soul will leave, and daylight will come.” (p177) Quote #13 - “Sometimes meditation does not work instantly or immediately. I can meditate and feel almost as chaotic when I finish as when I started. But we can trust these behaviors and keep them anyway.” (p177 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #14 - “I used to think that following God's will for my life meant following a rigid set of rules, instructions, and prohibitions. I used to think following God's will meant I needed to be perfect. Now I've learned that's codependency.” (p179) Quote #15 - “All we need will come to us. All the good we desire, the love we want, the success, the friends, the healing, the meeting of needs — big and small — will come.” (p180) Quote #16 - “We can trust that each day we are exactly where we need to be and where we are meant to be.” (p180) Quote #17 - “Trust God. Trust ourselves. And trust our lives. God never, never asks us to do anything that God does not equip and supply us to do. If we are to do it, we will be empowered. That's the easy part of this program: We never have to do more than we can. We never have to do anything we can't. We never have to do anything before it's time. And when it's time, we will do it.” (p181)

In this episode, we cover Step Ten of the Twelve Steps Codepe​ndents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA) STEP 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it Quote #1 - “We want to trust our feelings, but we must also call our intellect into play, so we don't get lost in the swell of unearned guild and defensiveness.” (p157 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - Then I would feel confused and guilty when the feelings didn't go away. When the other person's behavior continued, so did my feelings. It took me a long time I'm still learning this lesson — to realize that my feelings are often how my Higher Power speaks to me and tries to get my attention about a lesson I need to learn. That lesson may be setting boundaries, owning my power, or learning something about myself and relationships. My feelings are not incidentals. They are an important part of me, my life, and what I need to be paying attention to.“ (p158 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “There is another area of our lives where our inventory may lead to the discovery of a wrongdoing that requires prompt admission. This area is one of wrongdoings toward ourselves. Not acknowledging and feeling our feelings, not setting the boundaries we need to set, not paying attention to ourselves, not trusting ourselves, not respecting ourselves, not listening to ourselves these are wrongdoings that need prompt attention.” (p158 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “Not being emotionally honest about our needs and wants — with ourselves of others — is a wrongdoing.” (p159 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “Not nurturing and taking care of the child within is a wrongdoing.” (p159 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “…an important part of our inventory can also focus on what we're doing right and on all that is happening within us and around us that's good.”(p162 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “We can let go of our need to be so critical of ourselves and others. We can look at what's right.” (p163 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #8 - “My peace, my joy, my love for self and other comes when I accept myself. It comes when I allow myself to be honest, open, and responsible with those I love, work with, and relate to. It comes when I'm responsible to myself and my own needs.” (p166 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

Step Nine of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA) STEP 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Quote #1 - “…allowing other people to have their paths and issues and learning to have our own.”(p134) Quote #2 - “...We must work through, and experience fully, our feelings. We must clearly identify and accept the abuse. We need to figure out what our new behaviors and responses to others need to be, so the abuse or mistreatment doesn't continue. And then we will be led into forgiveness.” (p135) Quote #3 - “Sometimes the lesson is establishing boundaries...learning to say no...learning to own our power and respect and trust our feelings, wants, and needs. Sometimes the lesson isn't clear, and all we can do is accept that the incident happened.” (p135) Quote #4 - “Often, the shorter the amend, the better. The cleaner and clearer, the better. The more direct, the better. The more it comes from the heart, the better. The more it is led by Divine Guidance, the better.” (p143) Quote #5 - “Sometimes I've said, “I'm sorry if what I need to do to take care of myself hurt you. It was not intended or designed to do that.””(p144) Quote #6 - “ All of recovery— all of what we are going through — has to do with making an amend to ourselves. Giving ourselves permission to have our feelings is an amend. Giving ourselves permission to be alive are happy is an amend. Taking gentle, compassionate, loving care of ourselves is an amend. Learning to set boundaries, be direct, and stop defeating and victimizing ourselves is an amend. Learning to stop allowing others to mistreat and control us is an amend. Learning to stop expecting perfection of ourselves, own our power, and be who we are is an amend to ourselves. Learning to listen to and trust ourselves is an important amend. Learning to trust our instincts and value our feelings and needs is an amend. We may have many amends to make to that frightened, abused, or neglected child within us —amends for being so critical, negligent, and shameful. We owe ourselves an apology and changed behavior for not allowing ourselves to receive the love and nurturing we need, especially from ourselves. We owe ourselves an apology and changed behavior for the sometimes terrible ideas we have maintained, dwelled on, and believed about ourselves. That we aren't lovable, aren't good enough, can't think, don't deserve success, don't deserve to have fun, or don't deserve to recover are untrue beliefs we have assumed, beliefs that need correcting as part of this program of making amends to ourselves.”(p145) Quote #7 - “I spent years looking to other people, looking to relationships, to take care of the child within me. I looked to relationships to comfort my fear and to nurture, support, and protect that child within. I looked for relationships to be there for me because I wasn't willing to be there for myself. I didn't know how. Now, slowly, I'm learning a better way. I'm learning how to listen to that child I abandoned most of my life. I'm learning ways to get in touch with her, hear her, and give her the comfort, nurturing, protection, guidance, and discipline she needs.” (p146) Quote #8 - “This behavior of nurturing the child within is not foolish, as I once believed. It is healing. A few moments a day of caring for that child frees my adult to be rejuvenated and responsible, and lets my child feel warm, safe, and cared for. It also enables me to be a nurturing effective parent to my children. They have taught me much about my inner child and what she needs; my inner child helps teach me about what my children need.” (p146) Quote #9 - “I needed to forgive myself and develop a better relationship with myself. I needed to talk better to and about myself; I needed to forgive and forget; I needed to stop punishing myself for the wrongs I had done and for what others had done to me.” (p147)

STEP 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Quote #1 - “We have been wronged. We have allowed ourselves to be harmed.” (p117 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “Much of what we're feeling that we call codependency is unearned guilt.” (p119 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “In what relationships do we need to be able to hold our heads up and allow our hearts to be open and filled with love even if that love comes from a distance and with detachment?” (p120 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “The name that goes on the third list is our own name. We are usually the people we have harmed the most with our codependency. We are the people we most need to become willing to make amends to. By repressing our feelings and thoughts, neglecting ourselves, criticizing ourselves, shaming ourselves, denying reality, being so frightened, holding ourselves down, pushing ourselves back, believing absolutely untrue things about ourselves, being too harsh, too critical, or too demanding, we have certainly done ourselves wrong. Denying and depriving ourselves is wrong. Not trusting ourselves or listening to ourselves is wrong. Not loving ourselves is wrong. Allowing ourselves to be lied to and deceived to the point that we no longer listen to or heed our instincts is wrong. Thinking we're crazy and bad for surviving is wrong. Holding other people's issues or inappropriate behaviors against ourselves is wrong.” (p120 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “Allowing ourselves to be abused or mistreated is wrong regardless of the degree of abuse. It is not okay to let ourselves be talked to) or touched inappropriately. … Neglecting ourselves is wrong. Ignoring what we want and need, sometimes to the point that our minds, bodies, and souls rebel by getting sick, is wrong. Neglecting or diminishing our gifts and talents is wrong. … Every behavior we list as codependent is in truth a wrong done toward ourselves. Sometimes it involves a wrong done to someone else, too. We need to be absolutely honest about both. Until we do, we will not have the map for the rest of our recovery. … Allowing others to treat us badly inevitably leads to resentment toward the other person. We need to deal with this resentment, but we also need to be willing to make amends to ourselves for not treating our- ) selves with the respect we deserve.” (p121 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “Caution: There is no reason to feel guilty or prepare to make an amend, if what we have done is to take care of ourselves.” (p122 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “I would be entirely justified, I thought, if I withdrew into a cave, became a recluse, and never spoke to any of them again. That place, however justified, is not pleasant. It is not a place of feeling connected with myself or others. It's a place constructed of and decorated with fear.” (p123 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #8 - “All that has come into our lives was designed to prepare us to become who we are and to help us learn the lessons we came here to learn.” (p124 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #9 - “My relationships reflected my unresolved issues and my fears. My relationships reflected my beliefs about what I deserved from love, what I was willing to tolerate.” (p127 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #10 - “Many of us are carrying around residue from relationships that are decades old! We have not yet reconciled and made our peace with our pasts.” (p128 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Seven of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings Quote #1 - “I've learned that letting go of my defects does not eliminate my personality. It allows it to come through and shine for the first time since I was a very young child.”(p108 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “I still don't fully understand it but I've learned to trust it. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process. It doesn't hurt, at least not any more than necessary to heal us from past hurts or to get our attention. It is a palatable process, and even the pain becomes palatable, once we become willing to feel instead of resist, once we become willing to surrender. It is not, I learned, an instantaneous process. And there is nothing to fear. Over the years, we become changed. I did not have to change myself. I was not instantly revolutionized…(p109 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “I learned to deal with feelings. I began to be healed from the backlog of feelings from my past. I even saw my past transformed and began to understand the gifts from all of it, even the most painful moments.” (p113 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Six of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character (Our Protective Devices) Quote #1 - “ “I hate the language ‘defects of character,'” said Beth… “I believe we act codependently because we're wounded. And telling someone who's wounded he or she is defective or that they've sinned or that they fall short of the mark is abusive.” ”(p98 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “We become ready to let go of our fear of being controlled- -which for many of us is as great as, or greater than, our desire to control or manipulate another. We let go of allowing others to control us, our lives, or our happiness. We become ready to let go of our caretaking our tendency to focus on the problems, issues, feelings, needs, choices, and lives of an-other; the underlying belief that we are responsible for others. We become willing to be healed from the issues underlying care-taking: weak or inappropriate boundaries or limits; an unclear sense of self, self-responsibility, and the responsibilities of others. We become willing to be healed from the belief that others, or ourselves, are incompetent and cannot take care of us.” (p99 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - P 99-100 - List of Protective Devices (Defects of Character) “We become ready to let go of: Low self-esteem Our self-neglect, and the belief that we aren't responsible for ourselves and cannot take care of ourselves Our desire to have others take care of, or be responsible for, us Self-rejection Self-hatred Lack of self-trust Lack of trust in God, life, and the process of recovery Our trust issues with people inappropriately placed trust, and not trusting when it is appropriate Our addictions Guilt Shame that pervading sense that who we are is not okay We become ready to let go of our inability to own our power, to think, feel, be who we are, take care of ourselves, and enjoy life. We become ready to let go of our difficulty with setting appropriate boundaries and limits with people. We become ready to let go of our reluctance to feel and deal with our feelings: Our difficulty dealing with and expressing anger Our inability to experience joy and love Our negativity, hopelessness, and despair Our fear of joy and love Our fear of commitment A closed mind, or a closed heart Our attraction to unavailable people and dysfunctional systems Our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems Our need to be perfect Our abuse from childhood Our need to be victims and our participation in our own victimization” (pp99-100 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “We become ready to let go of our blocks and barriers to joy and love, even when we cannot name those blocks and barriers. We ask God to take away everything that stands in the way of us having all we deserve in our lives. We ask God to show us the blocks or defects we need to be willing to let go of, and help us become willing to let go of them all.” (p100 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “Then I lay still for a moment and quietly worked the Sixth Step. “Help me become ready to let go of the fear, the pain, the panic, the lack of trust, and all the rest I've become enmeshed in," I said. "Help me become ready to let go of this pain, instead of trying to make other people stop it or change how I feel." (p105 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Five of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs Quote #1 - “To begin that process, it is imperative that we unearth, release, get rid of, and be done with shame, fear, guilt, secrets, and anything else inside us that bothers us, causes us to feel less than, weighted down by burdened by, and bad about ourselves. The way to do that is by opening our mouths and getting it out. It is a simple but effective way to begin healing ourselves. We simply tell the truth about ourselves to ourselves, to another person, and to God in an attitude of self-responsibility, acceptance, and forgiveness. There is something magical, but frightening, about opening our mouths and telling the truth. There is also something healing about it. An important part of this healing process we're going through is reconnecting to ourselves, our Higher Power, and other people. Being honest about ourselves is how we do that.” (p85 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “We also need to make certain that the person with whom we share our deepest secrets will hold our confessions in confidence.” (p88 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “If it's bothering us, we need to talk about it. And the more it bothers us, the more shame and self-hatred it causes, the more it controls us and our lives, the more important it is to bring it out.”(p88 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “One guiding rule for all my Fifth Steps has been this: Whatever it is I most don't want to discuss is what I most need to talk honestly about. To be healed, whatever I am most afraid and ashamed to share is probably what I most need to share at the time.”(p88 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “It is much easier to be the one people reach out to that the one reaching out.” (p89 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “I've also learned something else. Until I'm entirely ready to accept who I am, what I feel, what I want, and what myself is telling me, I cannot achieve intimacy. When I am ready to take that same risk with people that I took when I walked into that Fifth Step room, I will have the kind of relationships I'm seeking. I'm not talking about confessing my sins to people. I'm talking about sharing my deepest secret -who I am.”(p90 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “The solution to this problem is the same. Whatever I most don't want to talk about, whatever it is I most don't want to admit, is what I immediately need to tell someone, someone safe, someone I trust. I need to get it out of me and into the light, so I can be set free.”(p92 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Four of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves Quote #1 - “... We may leave one person because of their particular problem, only to find ourselves in another relationship with someone who has a similar, or perhaps identical, problem.”(p61) Quote #2 - “... What do I need to learn about taking care of myself? And what's stopping me from doing that?”(p61) Quote #3 - “We are taking this Step to get to the core of recovery: self-responsibility. ... We are responsible for what we have created in our lives and what we will create. We are responsible for our feelings. They are ours.”(p62) Quote #4 - “The great codependency delusion is this: We would be feeling different if someone else would just do something, if we were someone else, if we had something we wanted. Not true...”(p62) Quote #5 - “This Step is the beginning of our own housecleaning. It is where we begin looking within for the solution to our problems and pain. It is how we begin to heal ourselves and our hearts. In this Step, we begin to allow the light to come into ourselves. (p63) Quote #6 - “An important part of this process is finally to feel as hurt and angry as we need to, so we can be done with these feelings... so we can be free from their control and influence. We allow ourselves to grieve our losses fully. Our unresolved emotions may be motivating our behaviors today. Unfinished business does not go away. It keeps repeating itself until we are ready to deal with it. ...”(p70) Quote #7 - “Feelings are an important part of us. Not acknowledging them is a key issue in codependency...” (p71) Quote #8 - “Feelings are not the disease; not feeling them, repressing them, holding back, is the problem.”(p71) Quote #9 - “Some experts now say that unfelt feelings cause disease - physical illness, sometimes death. I agree... ”(p71) Quote #10 - “Remember, our feelings are our responsibility...”(p72) Quote #11 - “We can learn to let ourselves feel, and heal from the backlog of feelings from our pasts...”(p72) Quote #12 - “…these Steps are also a self-esteem program. We work them to be done with shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. We work these Steps to learn how to love ourselves. Then we can learn how to love other people and let them love us.”(p73) Quote #13 - “We go back to the past long enough to be able finally to put it behind us and set ourselves free.”(p75) Quote #14 - “...And I masked it all in a strange dichotomy in which I vacillated between feelings of superiority and inferiority.”(p78 ) Quote #16 - “The grief from this process was enormous...” (p78 ) Quote #17 - “Over and over again, I grieved one less after another, from birth to the present.” (p79) Quote #18 - “This is the healing step. This is the healing-the-heart Step. This Step can change lives. Go deep. Go as deep within yourself as you can. Start with the top layer, and let the process take you deeper. Do not be afraid of what you will find.” (p80) Quote #19 - “...if we are seeking only the temporary relief and “high” of moral superiority, then we can continue doing that. But if we are looking for more from our recoveries and from our lives, looking within is the answer.” (p81) Quote #20 - “We have been doing what we believed we needed to do to survive. Now, we are on the way to becoming fully alive.” (p81 )

In this episode, we cover Step Three of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God Quote #1 - “Many of us have confused ideas about what it means to surrender to the care of God. Anyone who has battled with control issues may have a hard time giving up, giving in, and letting go. Sometimes we surrender too much. We become victimized, we refuse to take care of ourselves, and we blame that on God.”(p46 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “Before I began recovery, I was convinced my life was a mistake. Not only did I believe that I had little business being here, I didn't believe there was any purpose for my life.”(p47 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “We turn ourselves over to God's care. Then we do our part by learning to take care of ourselves.”(p47 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “If I am working my program, then I take the time to ask myself what I really feel, and what I really need.”(p48 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “We can go to God as our source, our Creator, our inspiration, our guidance, our direction. And we hold ourselves responsible for our behavior and choices.”(p48 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “God knows our hearts and God understands our healing needs. God understands the good that is waiting around the corner for us, the good that we can't see yet. God sees the benefit in the lessons we're learning, not just the turmoil, which is what we so often focus on. God can help us bring out the healer in ourselves.”(p49 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “We do not have to look around us too long or too hard to find God's will for us and our lives today. It is not hidden from the eye. God's plan for us today is taking care of ourselves the way we want and choose, within the framework of what's happening in our lives today... ”(p50 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #8 - “Gratitude helps make things work out well. It helps us feel better while stressful things are happening. Then when things get good, it helps us enjoy the good. ”(p51 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #9 - “Surrender doesn't mean we're helpless. It doesn't mean we surrender to abuse or intolerable circumstances. It means we acknowledge these circumstances, then ask God to help us take care of ourselves in these circumstances.”(p52 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #10 - “Things are being worked out in us. Things that we do not yet know about. Things we will see with the passage of time. Important changes are happening within us, as a result of our present circumstances...”(p54 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #11 - “It does not mean we say yes to all that comes our way. It means we learn to trust when we want to say no, and then we say no. It also means we learn to trust when we want to say yes.”(p54 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #12 - “This Step isn't about mindlessness or selflessness. It's about learning to trust my mind and trust that once I turn myself over to God, I will be guided by a Higher Power and Divine Wisdom. It's about finding, valuing, loving, and trusting myself.”(p55 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #13 - We let go. We say, “That's it. I'm willing to let go of preconceived notions about what should happen. I'm willing to let go of my limitations, my agenda, my script, and my beliefs. I'm ready and willing to be open to what You have in mind for me. Now, just show me what that is. Let me know in a way I can understand.” (p55 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #14 - “Trust this process. It will take us where we truly want and need to go - in Divine and perfect timing. Trust God's plan, for it is better than ours. Trust ourselves...”(p57 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step Two of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity Quote #1 - “I don't have to force or control my recovery. I can do my best to work the Steps and peacefully allow change to happen.”(p40 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “A tremendous battle takes place within me on a regular basis. That battle is between the part of me that insists that if I try harder, I can control things and extricate myself from any mess, and the part of me that knows there is a Higher Way, a Way that will lift me to levels of thinking, feeling, and behaving beyond what I could accomplish on my own.”(p43 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “Breathe deeply. Believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. Be grounded on that new level. By believing, we can create the space for that to happen. We stop empowering the problem and begin to empower the solution, one that will be given to us. We do not worry about how it will happen. Do not worry about when it will happen. All we need will be given to us, done for us. We are in the process of becoming changed. All we need to do is believe. ”(p43 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “Take care not to confuse unmanageability or insanity with the deep grief many of us experience when we come to this program. Many of us are facing losses and feel pain about these losses. This pain, this grief, is a healthy, normal response to our circumstances. We can allow ourselves to go through it without making ourselves miserable by blaming ourselves for grieving.”(p43 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “We will be restored. We will be renewed. We will be lifted out of our present circumstances and into a solution, whether that involves a change of heart, a change of attitude, a new path, a new feeling, or a new vision of what we are to do. Sometimes this happens quickly. Sometimes it takes a while.”(p44 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “Open ourselves to the belief that a new and better way will appear, and it will. Open ourselves, for one moment, to the possibility that a Higher Power can create a new way or a new situation or a solution, and we have set the stage for that to happen. Open ourselves to the possibility that we can be restored, and we shall begin that journey. ”(p44 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

In this episode, we cover Step One of the Twelve Steps Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 1 - We admitted we were powerless over others — that our lives had become unmanageable. Quote #1 “Many of us grew up believing it wasn't okay to have feelings. That was part of the control we were taught to have - repression of our emotions. Now we are learning that whatever we try to control gains control over us.” (p20 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 “What I did was focus on others: caretaking, controlling, and obsessing about them. What I didn't do was take care of myself in a loving manner.”(p21 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 “When we love others too much, when we do so desperately want and need what they have — whether that is acceptance, approval, love, or friendship — we may forfeit our ability to take care of ourselves with them, out of fear that we may not get what we need. We may hope that if we hold things in place by willpower, we will finally be safe and get what we need. We won't.” (p22 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 “Step One does not imply irresponsibility or helplessness. We are not saying, “I can't help myself because of what others are doing or have done to me.” We are saying the opposite: that we are responsible for ourselves and our affairs. Others are responsible for themselves and their affairs — whether or not we like how they are handling them.” (p24 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 “We begin feeling instead of running from our emotions. We identify how we have neglected ourselves, so we may better love ourselves in any circumstance.”(p25 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 “Love and accept ourselves, as is, no matter what our present circumstances. The answer will come. The solution will come. But not from trying so hard.”(p26 Codependents' Guide, M. Beattie)

REBOOT TIME!! Until now we've offered tips on meditation, interviews with world-class Jewish mindfulness teachers, and inspirations for Jewish Holidays. NOW, we're adding a guide to 12 Step recovery from Codependency and short sweet quotes to inspire and uplift you on your spiritual journey. As always, we're open to your suggestions and love hearing how this content enhances your life. How can you support? Subscribe, give a 5 Star Review, and share with someone you think would love it!

How the mindfulhh.com Mindful High Holidays Guide got started and how you can get involved. Hours of on-demand access to videos and audio with concise guidance on what to pay attention to and how to do it from the world's leading Jewish Mindfulness teachers. Instant access to guided meditations to help you get into the mind-frame needed for optimal results. Practices to deepen and enhance your season and help you continue getting benefits long after the season is over. Easy app access to the guide on iPhone and Andoid A space to share your prayers for yourself and the world with community. Lessons on forgiveness, self-compassion, wise discernment, yoga, and more. The opportunity to share and connect with community, also seeking to deepen their mindful awareness this season. Interactive prompts for deepening your practice and intentionality. Connect with others through interactive Prayer, Gratitude, and Affirmation circles.

In this episode we feature Rabbi Robin Damsky. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Robin through her website https://www.limitlessjudaism.com/ or find her on Facebook Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Sylvia Boorstein. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Syliva through her website http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/ or listen to an archive of her teachings on https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/174/ Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Rabbi Sam Feinsmith. Hear about his journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Sam via email sam@jewishspirituality.org or through https://www.jewishspirituality.org/ Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Rabbi Ruth Sohn. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Ruth at http://www.ruthsohn.com Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

Spiritual practice worth its salt always helps people encounter life's circumstances better. The one thing I want to give anyone looking for the mindful meaning in the Jewish holiday of Passover is the way to use bitter circumstances as fuel for spiritual growth. Applying the mindful lens to Jewish practice helps make it relevant and build your ability to remain calm and even thrive through difficulty. This is what I help people do. Click on the link below and get a free video we have waiting for you. It's the principles for moving through bitter circumstances mindfully and a 20-minute lightly-guided meditation on applying the principles discussed. https://www.ravariel.com/passover2022

In this episode we feature Sarah Hurwitz. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Read her book "Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life--in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There)" or connect with her on https://sarahhurwitz.net/ Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Rabbi Yael Levy. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to join Yael? Find her at https://www.awayin.org/ Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Rabbi Jeff Roth. Hear about his journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to join Jeff on retreat? Register for his upcoming retreats at https://awakenedheartproject.org/ Struggling with anxiety? We made you a free video to help. Just click the link now and get instant access. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

Struggling with anxiety? Discover how to calm your anxiety quickly with this free video we made for you. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Rabbi Sheila Weinberg. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness and yoga. She boldly shares her recovery from addiction and twelve steps and how spirituality helped her along the path. Want to learn with Sheila? Check out https://www.sheilapeltzweinberg.com/ Struggling with anxiety? Discover how to calm your anxiety quickly with this free video we made for you. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

In this episode we feature Cantor Lizzie Shammash. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness and yoga. Want to learn with Lizzie? Check out http://elizabethshammash.com/ Discovery how to calm your anxiety quickly with this free video we made for you. https://bit.ly/3t4DPxy

What kind of results do Rav Ariel's students have? Listen to Rachel Karu talk about the way her life and practice shifted powerfully during her work with Rav Ariel. Learn about how she's become empowered in her personal spiritual practice, and improved her relationship with herself and her loved ones. Hear how she's been able to implement the tools and cultivations to enhance her life edge-to-edge. Learn more about Rachel or take her self resilience indicator test at steppingintomore.com Want to with Rav Ariel? Go to www.ravariel.com or email info@ravariel.com to get started today!

In this episode we feature Mira Neshama Niculescu, Ph.D Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to learn with Mira? Find her at https://www.miraneshama.com/- Connect with Rav Ariel and take your practice to the next level, take our free trial at www.ravariel.com

Hear about Rav Ariel's Journey to Jewish Mindfulness as Yael Shy interviews them. For more information about Rav Ariel - take our free trial www.ravariel.com

In this episode we feature Sheila Katz, Ph.D Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to join her on retreat? Register for her upcoming retreat at https://awakenedheartproject.org For more information about Rav Ariel - take our free trial www.ravariel.com

In this episode we feature Yael Shy. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to learn with Yael? Check out https://www.mindfulnessconsulting.net/ For more information about Rav Ariel or to take our free trial go to www.ravariel.com

In this episode we feature Rabbi Batsheva H. Meiri. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Want to join her on retreat? Register for her upcoming retreat at https://awakenedheartproject.org For more information about Rav Ariel - take our free trial www.ravariel.com

In this episode we feature Rebecca Schisler. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Rebecca @ https://www.rebeccaschisler.com/ To work with Rav Ariel visit www.ravariel.com

In this episode we feature Rebecca Schisler. Hear about her journey to becoming a practitioner and teacher of Jewish mindfulness. Connect with Rebecca @ https://www.rebeccaschisler.com/ For more information about Rav Ariel www.ravariel.com

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How to practice the spiritual essence of the Yom Kippur holiday through the lens of mindfulness and buddhist inspiration. Looking for a spiritual way into Yom Kippur? Rav Ariel brings this inspiration from his studies with the Risshō Kōsei Kai, a poem based on the Lotus Sutra. The inspirations will help you find a deeper, more meaningful day. [Text down below] The Bodhisattva regarder of sounds is the mind of deep compassion flowing through the world. Her deep compassion also flows through me. It is a one this mind of deep compassion. If someone brings me joy, that person is the bodhisattva. Regarder of sounds, if a tree brings me comfort, that tree is definitely the bodhisattva regarder of sounds. When I am someone who blames no one, I am the bodhisattva regarder of sounds. And when you are someone who forgives me, you are the revered bodhisattva, regarder of sounds, bodhisattva, regarder of sounds is the mind of deep compassion flowing through the world, flowing through you and flowing through me. She is this one, the mind of deep compassion. How do I meet myself in a mind of deep compassion it's within me? When we think about Yom Kippur we think about, oh God on the mountain wants me to fast and to think about, you know, all the things I've done wrong this year. This reading is teaching us: forget about the fast. It's about compassion. Compassion. It's not about your fasting. It's not about your penitential. It's not about how many times you strike your chest. It's not about that. It's not about any of those things, the words you say or whatever. Those are all meant to be pointing back to compassion. They're meant to be helping you become a person who sees the divinity within all things. A person who sees that the people in your life are part of that, and by paying attention to that fact, increases the spirituality of your life. The nature of the surroundings you're in can be part of that. Not only can they, they are part of that. And YOU, you are part of that. It's all part of the same thing. So when we're doing this kind of living, that's how we know we've been honoring the divine. We know we're doing it right. When we have a mind of deep compassion that we allow it to flow through us, which is flowing through all of the world, which is flowing through you, which is flowing through me. She is one the mind of deep compassion. It's all one thing. All of it, is one thing. That's what we're striving for in this year. We're striving for the ability to start looking around us and seeing that we're all part of this one unfolding of compassion. The better we are at detecting that, and we practice how to detect that - the better we are at detecting that through our gut, through our consciousness - the better we're going to be aligned. The more we'll understand from our feedback system. 'Oh, this is the right way. That's not the right way. Oh, this is the right way. Oh, that feels wrong. Let's not do that.' We'll start to set down the things that feel wrong. We'll start to move towards the things that feel right. And in time within a year, we'll look back and feel, yes, there's probably more improvements to go, but we're not working on the same struggles as we've always been. That's because we've learned to live with within ourselves. We've certainly learned to recognize the blessing of the people around us. And we learned to recognize the blessing of ourselves and of all of nature. And that we're all one part of one mind of compassion. Read the full article https://www.ravariel.com/blog/YomKippur21 ~ ~ ~ Want more inspiration? Join our spiritual training community. Together we strive to live the best life possible through Jewish mindfulness, meditation, and worldly wisdom. We're so confident you'll love it being part of our community - if you sign up today, you can try before you buy. You'll have 15 days free of charge! Pay only if you enjoy it and it enhances your life. We know you will.

One teacher changed my life. It's amazing how one person could impact so much.

Yom Kippur Mindfulness CBY & JMCTX by Rabbi Ariel Sholklapper

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