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In-depth with a teenager who lives with type 1.  Stacey interviews her son Benny, who was diagnosed just before he turned two. They talk about Control IQ, explaining what diabetes is to people who don't know and what he does these days for sports and other activities. Check out Stacey's new book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Benny answers listener questions and looks back on 13 years of T1D. Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! In TMSG – graduation good news, two popular diabetes books get an update and more This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Sign up for our newsletter here The "Pink Panther" Book update Think Like A Pancreas update ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone      Click here for Android   Episode transcription:  Stacey Simms  0:00 Diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop created for people with diabetes by people who have diabetes. By Real Good Foods real food you feel good about eating and by Dexcom take control of your diabetes and live life to the fullest with Dexcom.   Announcer  0:20 This is Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms   Stacey Simms  0:26 this week in depth with a teenager who lives with type one, okay, it's my son Benny. We covered a lot of ground here answering your questions including sports, what he tell his teammates when they travel for sports and stay overnight.   Benny  0:41 I tell them that nasal spray thing - Baqsimi if I don't wake up or if I pass out, do that and then go get coach.   Stacey Simms  0:47 We talked about feeling self conscious about diabetes gear, what he remembers about being a little kid with type one and his feelings about the new Control IQ system. I think this interview was a good idea? Tell me something good graduation news two popular diabetes books get updates and more. This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Welcome to another week of Diabetes Connections. I am so glad to have you along we aim to educate and inspire about type 1 diabetes by sharing stories of connection. If you are new Welcome, my name is Stacey Simms. I am your host, my son Benny, who you will hear this week was diagnosed right before he turned two. He is now 15. My husband lives with type two diabetes. I don't have diabetes at all. But I have a background in broadcasting and local radio and television and that is how you get the podcast. Before we get to Benny and oh my goodness. Like I've already said I'm hoping this was a good idea. I think he has good information to share. It's a little odd to interview your own son. But before we get to him, I have some great news of my own to share the world. First diabetes mom, my book that's been out for a couple of weeks now won an award, my publisher sent me an email. And by now I've probably shared it over social media, as you're listening to this spark publications announces that the world's worst diabetes mom has won an award of distinction as part of the 2020 communicator awards. This is part of the Academy of Interactive and visual arts. I'm really excited about this. Of course, it's not just about the writing, but about the design of the book. And we work really carefully on that the cover alone, we went back and forth quite a bit, but then inside to make it really easy to read. And a nice experience. I mean, oh, my goodness, I was who knew so much went into things like this. I mean, when you think about it for more than a minute you get it. But Wow. If you've ever been involved in any kind of book publishing, there's a lot of steps to it. So it's very exciting to see all of our hard work rewarded with this award. So thanks for indulging me and letting me talk about it a little bit. The book has really been an incredible excuse. For me, and I hope if you've read it, you've enjoyed it. I hope if you haven't read it, you'll consider giving it a chance. You can always learn more, of course at the website Diabetes connections.com. But the book is for sale on Amazon paperback ebook, you know, Kindle and audiobook which I married. And if you're listening to this episode as it first airs on Tuesday, the 26th of May, then tomorrow night I'm actually doing a world worse diabetes mom event with jdrf a couple of the southeast chapters got together we're doing a zoom presentation all about it, sharing our mistakes and mishaps what we learned from them and why they're just the best way to go right? You got to make all the mistakes when it comes to diabetes or parenting in general. And I'll put more information about that in the Facebook group and on social media. I'd love to have you join us. All right, my conversation with Benny in just a moment but first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop.  Getting diabetes supplies is a pain. Not only the ordering and the picking up but also the arguing with insurance about what they say you need and what you really need. Make it easy With One Drop, they offer personalized test strip plans plus you get a Bluetooth glucose meter test strips lancets and your very own certified diabetes coach. Subscribe today to get test strips for less than $20 a month delivered right to your door. No prescriptions or co pays required. One less thing to worry about not that surprising when you learn that the founder of One Drop leaves with type one, they get it One Drop gorgeous gear supplies delivered to your door 24 seven access to your certified diabetes coach learn more, go to Diabetes- connections.com and click on the One Drop logo.   My guest this week was pretty easy to book because I know his schedule. He lives in my house. He is my 15 year old son. And if you've listened to the show for a long time, you know I really try to balance how much I share about Benny's experience with type one. It's a balance of, you know not oversharing to compromise his privacy, but also sharing them To help people, he's always been a really good sport about it. And we've really weighed and measured over his entire life because he was diagnosed at 23 months, how much to talk about him. I mean, even really before that, because I was on the radio when he was born. I mean, both of my kids, I was a local TV reporter when I was pregnant with Lea, my daughter, and I was in radio, I was at WBT where I worked for a decade doing the morning show there. I think I was there for a year before I got pregnant with Benny. And so my listeners went through that process with me. You know, they saw me out at events and it was a whole big deal about, you know, how much are we going to talk about how much are we going to share, and when he was diagnosed with type one, and my listeners wanted to learn more, we had to go through it all over again. So I err on the side of sharing less, which may strike you as bananas because I just talked to my book where we talk about all our stories and our family stuff. But I really do I mean, if you look at a lot of the mom bloggers out there, and especially the Instagram people, you know, I really don't share our day to day. I don't think that's fair to him. I'm saying all this I'm sorry for the big lead up. Because it's hard for me to interview Benny, it's hard for me to kind of push and probe for more. He's funny, as always, he gives great information, I think, of course, he is 15 years old. A couple of quick notes to that. 15 years old, and really goofing around on the microphone. There's probably more editing than usual in this episode. So please forgive us if parts of it sound a little choppy, although I'm sure my editor john, you can smooth most of that out. But really, there were times where I really I just, we were goofing around so much, I had to cut it out. And there's a little bit at the end to give you a taste of that. And I mean, the very end of the show, I included it's not really a blooper, but it's just oh my god, what he was doing with the microphone. Also, he does say this is the only correction I'll make. We talked about Control IQ and he says he's in range 80% of the time. I wish. It's still excellent. It's closer to 70% of the time, which is wonderful and it's certainly a lot less work. We talk about that a little bit too. But I have to correct that he is not in range 80% of the time. And the only other thing is listening back to this. I don't want anybody to misunderstand. We are mean to each other. I mean, I call him a couple of mean names. It's just our relationship. I mean, it's kind of the way we pick on each other. If you don't know us, too well, I'm just a little worried that you might think we're really mean to each other. I think you can hear that. It's all in good fun. We are so fortunate to have a great relationship. But it's been a while since I had him on the show. And you all had a bunch of questions for him. So I asked, he answered. Here's my conversation with Benny. Stacey So how are you holding up? I'm good. All right. Well, we got lots of questions for you. From listeners and the Facebook group, you started on Control IQ at the end of January. And we were well past three months now. Use any perspective Any comments? What do you think Vinnie? You'd   Benny  7:55 No, it's much better than it was before cuz I'm in range. Like 80% of the day?   Unknown Speaker  8:02 Yeah, it's wild. What have you noticed in terms of me?   Benny  8:06 I'm curious if you're much more now you like, Is it working? Is it working? Is it working? No, I'm not.   Stacey Simms  8:15 Any tips or tricks? You don't bolus when you're on the higher side, right? Because we found that that kind of   Benny  8:21 plummets you. Yeah. Don't do to see but in Control IQ, it won't bring you up from lows.   Stacey Simms  8:27 But you still do to receive and Control IQ   Benny  8:29 because I like juice.   Stacey Simms  8:31 Cuz you like juice? Yeah. You're an idiot. What?   Alright, so you use Control IQ, and you still take a daily shot after Seba, even though your insulin needs have gone way down. Why do you continue doing that your Seba?   Benny  8:47 I don't know.   Stacey Simms  8:48 Well, you know your mother mentioned you might want to stop and you said no, I thought you had a reason less insulin usage. You mean like in the pump, you don't use the cartridge. You should try it. You're not really using balance. Well, now we have to talk to the endo again and okay. Would you think of the telehealth visit that we did by the way? That was rough.   Benny  9:08 It was rough about it. You guys couldn't find any. Oh, yeah, we had probably his first one.   Stacey Simms  9:14 And he didn't have clarity and he didn't have to connect up even though the office said that they did. So it was a little weird, but were you okay with just talking to him that way? Well, yeah, I mean,   Benny  9:22 it's better in person. Because that our interests are pretty cool guy. Let's get to the questions   Stacey Simms  9:29 in the Facebook group, Rodney Miller. Hi, Rodney, who runs bolus and barbells he said Why am I Benny's favorite? strong man diabetic.   Benny  9:38 My favorite strong man diabetic actually for your information? Cuz I'm the best Oh, you're those favorite strong man. Oh, all right. Well, we'll see you guys in competition. Maybe I can guide when armwrestling contest. I don't know man. my biceps are massive friends for   Stacey Simms  9:52 life. 2021 showdown. Rod me and Betty. Okay. Ronnie says does he feel does Betty feel like having Such a strong advocate for a mom has provided him unique opportunities to connect to the diabetic community.   Benny  10:06 Yes, would have never met Rodney. Ernie almost got the chance to meet the rock was very close to that. Brick bassinger those people are pretty cool friends for life is a lot of fun. Justin Thomas, Jeffrey, those guys are pretty cool, too. I don't think I would have really met them without mom. You know, no one's putting us in trials. So you know, is that   Stacey Simms  10:30 isn't that funny that we can't get you into a clinical trial?   Benny  10:33 I think they it's obvious that they know we're just too cool. They don't they don't want to risk something not working on people that are just so awesome.   Stacey Simms  10:41 But we'll keep trying. All right. Shelby wanted to know, when you were younger, what did you say when other kids asked about your pump or CGM? How did you handle the curiosity of other kids   Benny  10:52 said I'm a robot. I still say I'm a robot and then I actually explained it. I remember one time a gorgeous went What's this and ripped up my pump? Wow, that was Fine. I don't really remember anything. Besides that.   Stacey Simms  11:02 I remember when you were, and this might be the same story when you were in preschool. They told me that you were all kind of like lining up to go to the bathroom or something. And the kid behind you said, Hey, what's that and started to pull on it, and you turned around, and you were like, three? And you're like, that's my diabetes. And you were very straightforward. Like, don't mess around with that. Don't touch that. That's mine. Or I guess, like, touch my diabetes. You're like, but you were always we're very lucky because you were always very straightforward about it very open about it. And you never have seemed to minded   Benny  11:36 Well, yeah, no, I don't care. Like if you don't like me, because I have diabetes go away. You suck by God, what am I gonna say? Like, Oh, no, darn.   Stacey Simms  11:45 Well, you know, you're not self conscious about it, which I think is, is wonderful and made it easier for us. But I don't know how you teach that to somebody, right? You just have always been that way.   Benny  11:55 I just kind of like I need it. Don't touch it.   Stacey Simms  11:58 So I guess the answer is you've been very straightforward about it little humor, but mostly not hiding it and saying here it is.   Benny  12:03 Sometimes I trick my friends into thinking they're giving me insulin, I disconnect my pump and I give them the pump and they still think it's connecting. They go, can I kill you? I say yes. And then I let them give me like six units, and they think that I'm gonna die. And it's really funny. Why would you tell me that? Because it's funny.   Stacey Simms  12:20 Why that is terrible that your pumps all messed up, especially with Control IQ. We think I don't   Benny  12:25 do that much anymore. Okay. So like, once, once, once every other month. This is more like a fifth grade thing. Yeah. Please tell me you don't do that anymore. I do it like once. Maybe I did it once with Jackson.   Stacey Simms  12:37 I'm gonna kill you. Okay. Let's see. Dee writes as a teen athlete. What are your best tips to manage on your own during a sports event or overnight sports trips. We have a lot of those this year.   Benny  12:49 We have but I wasn't   Stacey Simms  12:50 competing. I know which is why I wasn't which is why it was very easy for me   Benny  12:55 to let you go. I don't think it's very smart to be on your own with anything. ports, you should have at least one person with you that knows what's going on. Just you know, just in case but like, if you are alone, which is again, not smart,   Stacey Simms  13:08 she means on your own without your mom or dad, because you're on a trip is not going to be like the coach is going to be there. The team is going to be there. So why don't you talk a little bit about what you told the kids when   Benny  13:18 I first joined the team coach made us all sit down and made me tell everyone what was up. Basically all I told them was I have diabetes. It sucks. If I faint there's a thing in the in the pouch that you stick up my nose or you go to coach or the athletic trainer. Don't let me die.   Stacey Simms  13:39 Well and when you go on overnights you're not alone in the room, but there's not an adult anymore. Yeah. So what do you tell the kids that are with you?   Benny  13:48 I tell them the thing like the the nasal spray thing. So like see me if I don't wake up or if I pass out, do that and then go get coach.   Stacey Simms  13:57 What do they say? Are they like okay, yeah, they don't Nobody seems freaked out in there.   Benny  14:02 I mean, a bunch of them are scared of needles and it's fun to mess around with them but   Stacey Simms  14:07 and I do send you you know you have a kit, we make sure that there's lots of food and drinks and all that stuff. And you have your snacks and your your Welch's fruit snacks. That's one thing that made it easier in a way last year you weren't competing because you had your knee injury. So I wasn't too worried about the ups and downs this coming year, assuming all goes well and you wrestle again. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do for those first couple of overnights. Well, you said it like I was gonna ask you what to do. I'm not I'm either going to come near and stay nearby. Oh, no, dad,   Benny  14:43 if anyone's coming is that   Stacey Simms  14:44 that's a great idea your father can go. I don't think I would like I'm not gonna make you stay in the hotel room with me. You can still say with your friends, but especially with wrestling until we kind of figure out what your body's doing. I think it's really important to get a baseline and then get some protocols and figured out out from there, but I don't I don't intend to sit on You don't worry. I like this one. Kristen says, Is it true that Benny has the best mom ever?   Benny  15:08 No. Oh, you're off the show. No one has the best mom ever. It's literally not possible. There's like a couple billion moms. You know, Mother's Day is just passed.   Stacey Simms  15:20 But that was a missed opportunity, my friend.   Unknown Speaker  15:22 Um,   Benny  15:26 I mean, she's pretty good, but   not the best missed opportunity.   Stacey Simms  15:31 Best you ever had. Okay.   Right back to our conversation. And the next question is going to be advice. What would Benny tell his younger self? We'll get to that in just a minute. First, diabetes Connections is brought to you by Real Good Foods. And on their website. They have real reviews from real people, which makes sense because you know, this is all about real food. You feel real good about eating. And what's nice is with the record As you can see, it's not just people who eat super low carb or who eat keto. There are people who have celiac who can't eat grain. There are people who just love the way the food tastes right? There are people who talk about the airfryer, which is a great way to make so much of their food. It is delicious. We are big fans of their they can put this in the airfryer we're big fans of their new ice cream. And we really love the cauliflower crust pizzas as well, which do really well. In the airfryer find out more, just go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Real Good Foods logo. Now back to my talk with Benny asking him your questions.   Mary says what advice would he tell a younger version of himself about being a teenager with diabetes? So I guess she means what would you say to yourself back   Benny  16:52 then? Keep doing what you're doing. You'll be fine.   Stacey Simms  16:56 I think that's an excellent advice.   Benny  16:57 Yeah, I was a pretty good child. Questions like, Oh, I wish I had depression. No, I was the best.   Stacey Simms  17:04 I think the only advice that you should give your younger self is, if you take your pump off to play football in the neighborhood. You might want to put it someplace smart like a mailbox, just because I lost it a couple of times worse,   Benny  17:17 just because I lost it a couple times. It doesn't mean you have to bring it up again. We always found it. Yeah, I'm pretty good. You're pretty good. Yeah. Your mother had to go your mother. Who is that? Oh,   Laura says does he have any good one liners when people ask about his tech? I'm a cyborg. You have so bad. And people believe me and it's really funny.   Stacey Simms  17:39 Okay, so here's an example. We'll go to someplace brand new and you make friends everywhere you go, which is   Benny  17:43 amazing. I'm kind of jealous of that. So we'll go to the beach where a smile. Yeah, we're just I just wear a smile, where it doesn't have to be real. Where I   Stacey Simms  17:52 smile. We'll go to the beach. And you will, you'll make friends but you have your shirt off your decks calm with the beginning. Put thing on, you know, either on your arm or your stomach. Do people ask about that? And they want to   Benny  18:04 tell him I'm a cyborg.   Stacey Simms  18:06 I'm so serious. And then do you kind of go into any more detail? Not if they don't ask. They just leave it at that. Most of them most of the time. They just leave it at that. That's funny. Okay, so this the next couple of questions came from a different Facebook groups. So while I know a lot of people in the podcast group, these came from a different on a group of moms with elementary school aged children, you know, saying this just as much for the listeners as I am for you. smart alec. has been he ever been bullied over having diabetes. So   Benny  18:36 let's talk about that. Then. No. Okay, unless I don't remember.   Stacey Simms  18:40 No, no. Let's talk about why you think you haven't been bullied about diabetes or picked on? I think part of that is because you were always a bigger kid. Right? So nobody was mad. No. As you listen, I've been trying to edit out that I'm saying And he keeps saying it so now we just have to leave it but but you were you were a bigger kid and you were a nice and fun kid. So nobody ever picked on you for much of anything. Right? I mean, I think the only time that we were in a quote bullying situation was when you were in like fifth grade and a little kid was so trying to pick on you. And you he was like it was like poking the bear with a stick. Luckily, you didn't you didn't take the bait. But I think one of the reasons why nobody picked on you is because nobody picked on you anyway. But also, you were so upfront about it. Yeah, that there was what are they gonna pick on you about   Benny  19:38 how your pancreas doesn't work? What if What a nerd   Unknown Speaker  19:42 but you were always there first to tell people about it and to explain and I was also like, the most popular kid in my elementary school. So   Benny  19:52 there's that too modest to ah, am I wrong?   No, I remember explaining At least there was a time where we were in the gym, and I was running around giving everybody high fives. And they were all chanting my name.   Stacey Simms  20:08 Well, that was I don't want to burst your bubble. There's fifth grade. Well, yeah, but it was also like a jdrf event.   Unknown Speaker  20:13 Oh, that was that school?   Stacey Simms  20:15 Oh, really? Yes. It was gonna be like one of the beam team. No, that that was   Benny  20:19 that was beam team at school.   Unknown Speaker  20:20 frayed right. I'm saying it was a purpose. Yeah, but I'm okay.   Stacey Simms  20:25 But that's a perfect example of how a diabetes thing made you feel great. Yes. And it's hard because I think some kids don't embrace it naturally, which I understand everybody's personality is different. I don't understand it. Well, you will when you grow up. But like, you know, your sister has a completely different personality. She's very introverted. She would not have enjoyed that. And I think she wouldn't have had the same experience you did. So as I'm talking as you're listening, I'm not talking to Betty right now as you're listening. I think it's harder for kids who are Shire, and I don't have that kind of advice so much because Benny's not that way.   Unknown Speaker  20:57 Some of the best. Well, you think you're the   Stacey Simms  20:58 best and as I said, And modest rude, but I think it's okay if your kid isn't out there saying I'm a cyborg and yeah, diabetes and get well not you never said da da da da let's rephrase, yay, beam team and jdrf and all that kind of good stuff when you were younger. I think it's okay if that doesn't happen. But I think that can also the more you keep it into yourself, the harder it can be when other people ask about it, and I think that can kind of lend itself to some difficult situations. Let's put it that way.   Benny  21:27 The lesson from all this tell everyone you have diabetes so you can't get bullied.   Stacey Simms  21:31 Well, I think it helps to be upfront about it. But you know, it's it's not my lessons. Your lessons better also be a big dude. always have a smile on your face. And I hate that you're thinking I'm talking about when you were like six or seven years I was still chunky.   Benny  21:47 I was cute though.   Stacey Simms  21:49 Hey, let's talk for a second because you're bringing it up. Let's talk about your   Benny  21:54 weight loss lost 50 pounds since the summer 50   Stacey Simms  21:56 pounds which is bananas.   Benny  22:00 Turn on, keep going.   Stacey Simms  22:01 Okay, that's fine. But can you talk about how you've done it a little bit only because as your mother, I was really worried when you start it, our dog is going crazy. I was really worried when you started because between diabetes and just body image and eating disorders and all this stuff, I was really concerned, but you seem to have done it in a really great way.   Benny  22:19 I'm gonna be so honest, I've absolutely no idea like how to describe what I did. I ate when I was hungry, but just enough, and then I drink a lot of water and Gatorade.   Stacey Simms  22:27 I can also chime in on just a little bit of what I observed. Because I was, you know, you know, I was making sure you were eating, you know, I was worried.   Benny  22:33 Yeah,   Stacey Simms  22:34 um, you seem to really just cut out empty calorie stacking. We never had a lot of junk food in the house, but you know, no crackers or you know, or things like that. And you stopped eating dessert. Not, not all the time, right. You do have dessert sometimes. But you really stopped eating when you're on the computer. Yeah. Because I think our house helped to now we didn't move until the beginning of March so you were already losing weight. The reason I bring up the new house is because In the old house, the playroom where you had your computer and stuff is right next to the kitchen. Yeah. So obviously it's really easy to snack. Yeah, but you get a lot of willpower and you stop that. But then we moved here. You have been away. The playroom is upstairs and the farthest corner of the house which is, which is great, because we have to hear you screaming. So do I know. But when you play Xbox, you're so loud and I don't really hear you until the hall has this quiet, dude, just don't scream. No, you   Benny  23:26 don't understand. Screaming it's part of the enjoyment.   Stacey Simms  23:28 But the point is, you've you've been able to have a lot of willpower. And also it's helped that you are farther away, but you eat dinner. You know, you eat breakfast, you eat food. It's really been amazing to see I would never have said you had 50 pounds to lose. So, you know, to me, you look you look really thin. Are you okay? I mean,   Benny  23:48 he's kilo. 15 pounds to lose.   Stacey Simms  23:49 Yeah, well, we're gonna talk about that off the year. With wrestling. We'll see   Benny  23:53 17 actually. All right.   Stacey Simms  23:54 The idea here is to be safe and be smart and get where you want to go without the interoceptive Okay, all right, you know, I'm right. We're gonna talk about that off the air. But, you know, the other things that comes with weight loss is you know, you're using a lot less insulin to, which has been really interesting to say, but you're doing great. Okay, and you need some new clothes.   Benny  24:13 Just an entire new wardrobe. I mean, we can't go shopping because of the quarantine stuff. So it's been wild.   Stacey Simms  24:20 I'm not taking you shopping. Okay, this is an interesting question. Elaine says, When did he start total self care, and then separately waking to CGM alarm. I don't wake up to CGM alarms.   Benny  24:32 Okay, I woke up to my blood sugar.   Stacey Simms  24:33 Oh, I was gonna say I know that. I was gonna say it wasn't true because I know you treat overnight and stuff so you feel that you wake up to your body. Yeah, I   Benny  24:39 never once woke up to an alarm. I'm a deep sleeper. When   Stacey Simms  24:45 I don't know because I'm not in your face all the time. But it seems to me that I've seen you go low and I know you treat and then you go back up. So you're waiting on wake up to alarm you're waking up because your body is alright. I've never woken up to an alarm. I will as the mom We'll let you say that I'm going to slightly disagree all   Benny  25:04 tell me about what happens if you wake up and you're filled up. And I'm sweaty. And I'm like this does not feel right. And then I stumble out of bed and if there's low stuff in my room, I take it and if not, I go downstairs and get juice and sit down there until my blood sugar goes back up.   When the dog comes, visits me, Oh, that's nice. When the dog comes as it comes visits,   Stacey Simms  25:25 that's nice when the dog comes to visit. I said I said, to answer the question here, too, we still use Dexcom. Share. We got the Dexcom when you were nine. We started share two years later when it came out. But we spent the first seven years of diabetes with no CGM.   Benny  25:41 That was scary. wasn't scary how we did it.   Stacey Simms  25:44 Well, you really you think that was scary?   Unknown Speaker  25:46 No, you don't remember it? Yeah.   Stacey Simms  25:48 How did we do it? We did it and it was a lot of blood sugar checks. We'll do a show on that sometime. Or at least a discussion of like the olden days, but I'll tell you what, I never really remember being scared. Well, that's not true. There was one time when you were low and you would not come up. That's when I was scared. But I knew you were low. Oh, well, it happened at home and then you threw up and you were fine. You just need to throw up and then retreated. And you were great. I don't know what that was all about. Well, you're gonna say,   Benny  26:15 so I had a counselor at a CCT diabetes camp. Yeah, name, Chris. And the entire week his blood sugar was just like 60 I remember that. He was not like a big dude. Like he was a tiny scrawny little dude. And he ate so much food. And his blood sugar just didn't go up.   Stacey Simms  26:35 Now. I remember he telling me about that. It's crazy. Maybe he needed to throw up   Benny  26:40 there, but it was the entire week. It's crazy. Like I had never seen a person eat so much food. And his blood sugar just didn't go up.   Stacey Simms  26:48 But it didn't go down. Right? It just   Benny  26:50 it was just 60 it was like 60 to 65 the entire week.   Stacey Simms  26:55 Well, the thing I was getting to with CGM is that I used to check You overnight when you were very little. And then as you got a little older, we would only check you overnight if we'd had a weird day, like we just knew something was going on, or you know you were very active. But I also went to work at 330 in the morning, so I would check you at 3am. When I got up, it was kind of easy. That was I wouldn't in my head. That wasn't an overnight check, because I was getting up to go to work. But obviously it was an overnight check. So when you got to CGM, and now that we have share, you might not wake up to the alarms, but I do so I mean, with Control IQ. And with our living situation with you upstairs here. I think I've treated one overnight low. And it was a compression though, right? You were laying on your CGM and I came upstairs and just enrolled you over and went from there. But to answer Elaine's question for real is he hasn't started total self care. No, no. Well, I don't think it's appropriate. You're 15 years old, and you're wonderful, you're independent. I could send you away for a week with anybody and you'd be fine. But in terms of real true self care, we're saving that minute do that it can you do that? A Ken Coleman right. But we're saving self care really here at home until your senior year of high school to give you a year at least maybe. Well, that isn't always talking about that's nice that he thinks that was that really threw dead under the bus. Yeah, well, that's what I do. I were thinking senior year, you're only a freshman. You're finishing your freshman year here. So we're we're still working on it. But I think senior year is good. And yeah, you do total self care when you go to camp Coleman, which is your regular month long camp.   Benny  28:30 The stories I could tell about the nurses. Well, some interesting ones. There's   Stacey Simms  28:35 a medical staff there but not a diabetes staff. So   Benny  28:38 there's a couple that are very good, though. Yes, that's a story for another But no, she only has to stay for two weeks.   Stacey Simms  28:43 We love Karen. Okay, so the best   Benny  28:45 she's the only Karen I like   Stacey Simms  28:46 no that's me. Like how can my best friend grant was a Karen weird name. All right. What were the most helpful accommodations for us school asks Heidi, I'm going to be very interested in what you say here. Repeat. What were the most helpful accommodate for you at school,   Benny  29:01 What was her name Miss? Oh, Miss Hyman Simon?   Stacey Simms  29:05 Yeah. Okay, so Miss Iman was absolutely. I guess the school called her a floater. She was a teaching assistant, who in kindergarten would come in and help you know, she was like the our elementary school always had a teacher and a teacher's assistant for kindergarten, but in first grade they did not have that. Your first grade teacher though, who was a take charge and take care of business lady. Oh, Harrigan, Miss Harrigan? Yeah, she was like, we are not fooling around with this. We need more help. So she got permission to have this time and float in and out and do and help you with your blood sugar checks. And then by the end of first grade, there was another kid by the beginning of second grade, there were four kids in elementary school and Miss Hyman was like the diabetes lady. And she would just help. That's so nice that you remember that?   Benny  29:51 I remember. Like I was with her all the way to like third grade.   Stacey Simms  29:55 Yeah, well, she left the school it was in   Benny  29:57 first grade to third grade.   Stacey Simms  29:58 Yeah. And then you Didn't you really didn't need any of the diabetic nurse? Oh, Julie, who has diabetes? Yeah, she was on the islet cell thing, right? Yes. She had an islet cell transplant. She's been on the show before. So as you listen, yeah, she told all about her islet cell transplant. And yeah, she's a really interesting story. So we'll, I'll link that up in the show notes. You can go back and listen to that past episode. Like Kumbaya,   Unknown Speaker  30:21 like if I Oh, yeah.   Benny  30:24 Um, do you have merge? conflict? The merge?   Stacey Simms  30:26 I don't have any marks. Yeah, one of these days I have my book. The thing that's nice about my book,   Benny  30:31 Lincoln bio,   Stacey Simms  30:33 Instagram, it's audio.   Um, but I would say for accommodations, we had a very, very light 504 plan. And our 504 plan revolved almost all about testing. Because in our school district, unlike many school districts, we actually had a written out diabetes management plan, and every child with diabetes whether you're on a pump or shots or whatever you would Have a de m MP diabetes medical management plan. And you had to fill that out. So that was kind of like your 504.   Benny  31:06 I have a question. Yes, of course, if like, let's say my 504 says I have to have my phone with me, right? Yes. And a teacher takes my phone.   Stacey Simms  31:13 Yes. What do you do? That's a great question. If you felt that your health is at immediate risk, I would excuse yourself and go to the administration office and call me. If you felt your test was at risk. I would take the test. And then upon completion, I would like does that teacher get in trouble? Like what happens? Oh, it depends on the school district. If it was a mistake, it depends on the parent. Okay, so let's say that happened to you. And you were like, I took the test anyway. Okay, and you got a 95 on the test. Okay. I would go into school. And I would say or call the school and I would say, Hey, I understand there's a misunderstanding. Let's talk about it. Let's talk through it. And I would escalate if she was like, if she was great and said, Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that's one thing. She says. That's outrageous. You couldn't possibly then I escalate, right? We go to the next person, we go to the next person and this person, let's say you take the test, you get to 65. I would lobby for that score to be thrown out. And you could retake the test. We've never had to do that. Because everybody's good. Yeah, everybody's been very cooperative and accommodating. But I'm all for fighting for you. But I wouldn't start out with a fight. Yeah, I would start out with a Hey, what happened? and go from there. But I don't think it's fair to make you totally advocate for yourself.   Benny  32:29 I would hope you would. I mean, oh, yeah. No, if I knew something was wrong, I would leave the class I'd be like, ministration something's wrong.   Unknown Speaker  32:37 Right. me right.   Stacey Simms  32:38 Like if your blood sugar was high, and they wouldn't let you see the nerve. Here's a really good example. And let's not name the teacher. You used to have migraines. Oh my God, when you were growing up.   Unknown Speaker  32:50 Your teacher didn't believe you.   Benny  32:52 Even after I threw up right in front of her.   Stacey Simms  32:53 Well, I think that was that was the action I was gonna say. What do you think you did that made her listen a little throw up right in front of her threw up in the classroom. I'm right in front of her all over the books. Now, if you were not in the what was that fourth grade? Okay, so let's say you were a freshman in high school, you probably would have left a classroom and vomited in the bathroom and then gone to the nurse. But because you were in fourth grade, and you were probably really nervous to leave, or, you know, there's all these things going on. It's really unfortunate that had to happen. But, you know, it's good to talk about, but back to accommodations, because we have the diabetes medical management plan, which spells out how diabetes was treated, and also said things like, you know, you have to leave the classroom to the bathroom, you're not limited to water, how much water you can drink, all that kind of stuff that was laid out our school district, which is a huge one in the Charlotte area is wonderful about that. So our 504 was all about how he's going to take tests. And we started it in. I had a 504 plan, but we never really used it because of the testing situations. Don't ever use it. Well. Yes, you do. It didn't come into play until third grade finals, right into grade. So in third grade, we started kind of testing at different ways. Big to take tests, the beginning of grade tests. So we decided for For Benny, he wouldn't do anything differently except he's allowed to have his phone with him. He doesn't need his phone right now, really, because your pump has everything on it. But you still take it in, I assume you lay it on the desk at the front of the classroom, sometimes you'll keep it your pocket. Well, so   Benny  34:13 normal testing, like not finals and stuff. It's just in my pocket. But teachers are like, just don't cheat, but during and agree, like finals and stuff when like they like go and collect your phone. I just like, it depends on who's there. Sometimes it's just don't cheat, or sometimes I'll keep it at the front of the class. And if it buzzes, I'll tell you.   Stacey Simms  34:31 Yeah, I think for us, we're gonna find out this year about accommodations for the AC T and the SA T, and things like that. And that'll be an interesting thing to go through as well. If your child is diagnosed younger, this is really easy. Because you you figure it out as they get older. Right. And by the time they're in middle school, I think High School is when testing really starts counting. But I mean, it counts in middle school too. But by the time they're old enough to take these tests that really matter. Yeah, you're understanding what they need because some kids need a lot more money. than you do, your blood sugar doesn't skyrocket because of test stress. We have friends who they walk into their final exam and their blood sugar goes to 300. Really? Yeah. But I think right in terms of most important accommodation, I would say it's actually on the parents side. And that is being able to work with the school as a team, being able to go into those meetings and say, I want to be I want to work as a team. I want to see how this goes like let's work together, which sounds very Kumbaya and woowoo. But it really helps it helps me rather than going in and saying, I'm gonna fight for my kids rights. Like there are a lot of situations, unfortunately, where you do have to fight. But you know, going in without guns blazing is very dark principles.   Benny  35:37 Cool.   Stacey Simms  35:38 Well, your elementary school principal was he loved you.   Benny  35:41 I was his favorite. I don't know he was he didn't name favorites, but I was   Stacey Simms  35:44 he was fascinated with diabetes. He was really interesting. I mean, he wasn't he wasn't fascinated, in a weird way. But he just he admired the kids with type one. He really did. I was his favorite. Well.   Benny  35:55 He didn't say   Stacey Simms  35:56 he really admired what you guys were doing. It was interesting. School. Yes, your school counselor was great. He was a good guy. He and he did our 504 plans, we would meet with him to go to the fiber floors and he was he was very nice.   Benny  36:09 He was the guy that like if you got to go into his office, you were one of the cool kids.   Stacey Simms  36:15 We were very lucky to have a great Elementary School. Okay, and has been principal   Benny  36:19 had a lifted red Jeep. Like how much cooler does it get than that? I guess cool was an elementary school. Principal is the eye of the beholder.   Stacey Simms  36:29 has been he had burnout. If So when did he have it? How long did it last? And how did he deal with it?   Benny  36:33 Yes, yes.   Stacey Simms  36:34 Yes. Ever? Yes. So explain.   Benny  36:37 I don't want to do diabetes. Too much work.   Unknown Speaker  36:39 You get that often.   Benny  36:41 Yes. But how do you deal with it? video games?   Unknown Speaker  36:44 Do you just change the subject? Yeah.   Benny  36:46 I find that most of the time I just go Oh, well. It is what it is.   Stacey Simms  36:50 Well, I find it interesting cuz I wouldn't have said you've reached a lot of burnout.   Benny  36:53 Like I have my own opinions about that. I have been able to shoulder shrug a lot of things   Stacey Simms  36:59 like kind of compartmentalize. I don't know what that means, like, put it in the back of your brain and move on with your life. Yeah. So what helps you should play video games? Is that also like, just you're with your friends? Yeah. Do you ever talk to people from Camp or no? Well, you mentioned Justin and Jeffrey early on, is it? Like knowing that they're there? You'd have to call them?   Benny  37:18 I mean, I guess but like, I've never been the kid that's like, and life is terrible. I gotta just like, yeah, it is what it is.   Stacey Simms  37:27 All right, I have two examples that I want to bring up and see how you react. And we don't have to share these two examples. The first is when you were about 10. And you want them to take a pump break. Do you remember that at all? Yeah. What was going on? Like, can you share anything about that?   Benny  37:41 I remember talking to Michael. And like, the pens just seemed a lot easier. But then I was like, wait, there's too much math.   Stacey Simms  37:49 Well, your pump requested about three days, but that's when you started because   Benny  37:51 I was like, wait, there's too much math.   Stacey Simms  37:52 Yeah. And that's when you started giving yourself your own injections. Because you had only used us we don't use syringes. Remember before that, I don't   Benny  37:59 ya Yeah, I remember when I was like four.   Stacey Simms  38:04 And so to switch to an insulin pen seems really scary to you, but you did it, which was awesome. And it's helped us a lot since then there's too much math. Yeah. And there's also too many shots because you'd eat breakfast, then you'd get in the car and want an apple. You'd be like, what I do another shot. But then the other time, I wouldn't call it burnout. But we had I actually wrote about this in the in the book, you had a really bad night, you had a night where everything hurt, your inset hurt your Dexcom hurt. I think you had to do the same night. You're doing both and it was tough. You were really upset about it. And those things happen. I think it's important to acknowledge even for a happy kid like us, that was a terrible night.   Benny  38:40 But tomorrow morning, I was fine. The next morning, tomorrow. Ya know why?   Stacey Simms  38:47 But really can do mine. You don't have to share about it. But can you talk a little bit about?   Benny  38:51 I remember one time, like my incident didn't work like three times and then my Dexcom didn't work like twice. I gave up and I was like, I'll do it. The morning   Stacey Simms  39:02 that was the week that you actually met Rodney, the pan guy who we already mentioned him he was the first question dangling. I love Rodney and, and Colt Scott, the American Ninja Warrior dude. So we met them a couple nights later because we were out to dinner and you didn't talk about the night that you were so upset. But I think don't   Benny  39:20 remember what we talked about. I remember is Ronnie eating a lot. And I was. It was really fun.   Didn't barbecue there too.   Yeah. It was a fun night.   Stacey Simms  39:29 Yeah, but I think that just helps to kind of breathe the same air as other people with diabetes. Even though you've had a crummy night, it helps to be with your people because your mommy is helpful, but only to a certain extent. All right, I don't know that you can answer this question, but this is one of the last ones. Okay. How did you realize like, when did you realize you had diabetes? And how did you feel about it? You know, I can't answer that. I just I've just always had it. This mom says I keep wondering for those who are diagnosed early like my daughter with the healthiest way of thinking about it is and how I can help with that.   Benny  39:58 It's life. What are you going to do?   Stacey Simms  40:00 Well, I think a non 15 year old person answering that question a parent might say, I think that there are ways of explaining it that change, because there's different age appropriate ways of talking about it. When Ben he was teeny tiny right after he was diagnosed, my parents got him a Curious George doll, who we'd love Curious George, and he's just not better. Right. And we thought that he would do like imaginative play, right demo demonstrative play right here. I'm gonna give he did not do that with the curious church, but he did. Oh, yeah. And so Elmo got shots. Elmo had juice boxes, Mo got insets   Benny  40:34 mo love juice boxes,   Stacey Simms  40:35 right Elmo love juice boxes. And that's something that helps kids process that they have diabetes when they're very young. And as he got older, we would read stories, we would tell other people, we did a presentation for your class every year that changed as you got older. And then we started talking about age appropriate stuff. So when you're talking about like independence, what has to be done? When you're talking about driving what has to be done right Later, we'll talk about about when you're living by yourself, right? Well think about it as a parent, how much?   Benny  41:04 It's fine. You guys have no responsibilities,   Stacey Simms  41:08 I'm going to touch on driving just a little, because somebody did ask about that. You're doing really well with driving. But you   Benny  41:14 want to talk about what you have to do before you drive. I checked my Dexcom.   Stacey Simms  41:18 And right, that's it, you check your blood sugar. If you're below 80, you can't drive. That's our simple rule. And we have to make sure there's stuff in the car. And I'll be honest with you, I'm going to make sure that you have low stuff in your car for the first year or two because it's just like anything else. You have to learn. You have to get used to it, they'll be independent. So with driving that's, that's I'm terrified, but not really because of diabetes, but you're pretty good driver,   Benny  41:39 the best   Stacey Simms  41:40 and modest to I am honest,   Benny  41:43 like I'm really modest. All right, and then   Stacey Simms  41:44 do you do any diabetes goals in the next couple of years like are there certain now   Unknown Speaker  42:00 You're listening to diabetes connections with Stacey Sims.   Stacey Simms  42:05 See, Why weren't you about how we are to each other, I can't believe I said, I hate you there at the end. Oh, although I gotta say, Oh my goodness, I am going to play a little bit more at the end of the show the very end so you can understand what I was putting up with for a lot of that interview and some of the stuff that we had to take out, but I hope some of that helped you. I'm also going to link up a few of our previous interviews with Benny, I've talked to him a couple of times on the show. And it's interesting. Not only is his voice changed a lot as you can imagine, but just to hear how things have changed. I'll do that at the episode homepage. There is always a transcription. I have no idea what this transcriptions gonna look like the first time I run it through the computer. That's gonna be fun, but we'll put that there as well. And update. Interestingly, after this interview, he really did agree to stop taking the true Seba. So for the first time in almost two years, we started the trustee but in August of 2018, he is not taking long acting With his pump it because his insulin needs have gone down so much, obviously with the weight loss, but also with puberty. He loves what I talked about that, and I'll keep you posted on how that's going. I'll tell you what, so far what he's not eating. It is amazingly steady just like it has him with Control IQ. It's maybe on average, 10 to 15 points lower. So if he was running at like 110, he's now running at 85, that sort of thing, because just that little bit more control of the algorithm is really helping, at least in the short run. But for the last two days, I swear that kid has forgotten to bolus for every single meal, everything he eats. I don't know what's going on. But I'm trying not to make a big deal about it. We're just gonna move on. We're just gonna remind we're not gonna nag. I'm sure he would say something different. All right. Well, anyway, I'll keep you posted on that, but he really is doing great. And I like that he comes on and talks about diabetes, even if it may not be what I want to hear or I want you to hear something. Tell me something good in just a moment, but first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dexcom when Benny was very little, and in the bathtub or at the pool, I always noticed his fingertips. I mean, you know exactly what I mean, right? When you've got diabetes and you're checking and checking and checking and poking and poking, when your fingertips get wet, somebody in the community called it Franken fingers. They were just full of little pinprick holes that you could really, really see. And you know, he is 15 I don't see his hands too much. Although I did peek when he was looking at the microphone and hanging out in the studio here, studio. Well, it is a studio, it's my office. I noticed and his endo looks at them every single time we go in that they are just normal. They are not those Franken fingers anymore. I mean, we've been using Dexcom for almost six and a half years now. And with every new iteration, we've done fewer and fewer finger sticks. The G six eliminates finger sticks for calibration and diabetes treatment decisions. Just thinking about doing 10 finger sticks a day, which is what we did in the past. I mean that was pretty every day makes me so glad that the Dexcom has helped us come so far. It's An incredible tool. If your glucose alerts and readings from the G six do not match symptoms or expectations, use a blood glucose meter to make diabetes treatment decisions, learn more, go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Dexcom logo.   And tell me something good this week, a quick book update, not my book, but some other terrific books in the diabetes community. And these are books that have been out for a while that are highly recommended. And we all pass them around to each other, but they're getting updates. And I think it's really important because Gosh, think about how much has changed just in the last couple of years. So the first one I want to tell you about is understanding diabetes. This is better known as The Pink Panther book. I still have no idea why the Pink Panther is involved in this. And it's the actual Pink Panther. I mean, they had to have gotten a trademark but if you've seen this book, you know what I'm thinking. This was the first thing I thought when they handed it to me in the hospital. Why is the Pink Panther affiliated here, but that's a mystery for another time, I suppose. Anyway, they're on the 13th edition which you Come get us a discount because the 14th edition is coming out this summer. This is put on by the children's diabetes foundation. I will link this up in the show notes so that you can order a new book, let your endo know as well, if they're interested and it does come in Spanish. It is also available in an ebook form in a Kindle, so you can get them in lots of different ways. The Pink Panther books, the mystery continues though as to why that character How do they get the trademark anyway? All right, the next book is think like a pancreas, which is a must have, in my opinion, A Practical Guide to managing diabetes with insulin. Gary doesn't need my seal of approval here he is already the number one new release in nutrition and medical health sciences on Amazon. But I think this is really important because I recommend this book all the time. And this is the newest update for it. It's a paperback and an E textbook. And as the description says the all in one comprehensive resource for the millions of people living with diabetes who use insulin. The updates here include, as you would expect new medications, new technologies, injection devices, dietary recommendations. We've had Gary on the show many times he describes himself as a human guinea pig, because he lives with type one and he tries all of these devices, but he also talks about the science behind them in ways that I think is really clear. If you've listened to my interviews with Gary, you know, I generally feel kind of like a goofball. When I talk to him, he's very calming as well. If you haven't gotten this book before, highly recommended. If you have and you're looking for the update, probably the textbook is your best bet and I will link that up in the show notes as well. And finally, and tell me something good, lots of graduations to celebrate. Of course they're not the usual graduations people got very creative with how to celebrate their kids this year, but I know a lot of you were hoping for bigger ceremonies and more tradition. I want to take a moment to highlight just one of the many valedictorians that were spotlighted in some of these Facebook groups that I saw Jeremy bright was valedictorian and thank you so much to his parents for letting me share his story. Jeremy was diagnosed with type one at age 14 and he has a scholarship to Florida Polytechnic University to study computer science this fall. And once Jeremy's parents posted about him in this Facebook group, several other people chimed in with my tea Wendy is a valedictorian as well and you know, they kind of went and listed a few other kids didn't get permission to share their names and or their stories and and that's okay, but I think it's great that so many kids are at least getting the credit that they're due for working so hard through high school I don't know about you guys but it seems sometimes that for these kids I know the workload on my daughter High School was almost worse than college maybe it's just the pressure of you know, they have to do so well and I tried to eat that off for my daughter, but man it is hard when all the high schools are telling them you know, take this class get this college credit all these tests AC t sad. Oh, all right, just a little bit of editorial on my part and we shall see Right with all the wackiness that's happening this year with some colleges not you know, counting the standardized tests, we'll see what happens going forward. But anyway, congratulations to these great kids. If you have a Tell me something good story, please let me know you can reach out Stacy at Diabetes connections.com post in the Facebook group, you know, send a carrier pigeon, whatever it takes. I would love to feature your child or you in our Tell me something good segment.   Before I let you go, it's worth noting that we are right at the five year anniversary of the podcast I had Episode 300. A couple weeks ago, I made a bigger deal about that. The five year milestone is something I'm sure I'll mark on social media and talk about a little bit but I'm bringing it up here because well first of all, I can't believe it's been five years. I can't believe that I'm still doing this. I didn't have a timeline in mind when I started the podcast but I don't think I thought five years later I'd still be doing it and loving it as much as I do and it would still be growing but I bring it up because If you're listening to this point in the show, then you are a true listener. And I appreciate that. And I would urge you to please join the Facebook group Diabetes Connections, the group, I'm going to be doing some polling in the next couple of weeks. I'm not sure what we're going to do with the podcast in 2021. And I know it's a little bit early to start thinking about it. But I plan for the next year. I mean, in terms of sponsors, let's be frank, I usually have all that sewn up by August or September. And I don't want to be in a situation where I decide to make some changes. And then I'm scrambling at the end of the year. So I'm going to be asking questions like you know, frequency length, what do you want to hear? I think after five years, it's time to take a tough look at this like a hard look at it and decide what do we really want to do? Where are we going with this right? And if it stays the same, fantastic. I love doing it. But if there's something that you would prefer to hear, you know, maybe it's all technology news, maybe we go once every two weeks, but we only do news updates, that sort of thing. Maybe you really like the personal stories and we stay with that we do a mix. Maybe we make up Longer show a shorter show, you know, there's lots of options. But I want to hear from you. So please watch for surveys over the next couple of weeks. But you got to be in that group. I'm not going to make these public. I don't want people who don't listen weighing in. I mean, come on. And I really can't thank you enough, five years later, to have as much fun as I'm having and to keep doing this and hearing from people who enjoy it. That's the best. Thank you as always, to my editor john Buchanan's from audio editing solutions for making sense of this week's interview and everything else that he does. And thank you so much for listening. I'm Stacey Simms. I'll see you back here next week. Until then, be kind to yourself.   Unknown Speaker  51:41 Diabetes Connections is a production of Stacey Sims media. All rights reserved. All rounds avenged   Stacey Simms  52:04 You can you can take that to your room when we are done.   Unknown Speaker  52:09 Disgusting.   Unknown Speaker  52:11 No, take it with you Why? And I   Stacey Simms  52:13 have a place to put it or leave it over there because I'm going to throw it away. If I well why would I keep it I take that two places with me like here. Let me interview with a man with a microphone that's been inside my son's mouth. I think you would love it especially in this day and age.   Transcribed by https://otter.ai

There's a new superhero coming to the popular CW network lineup. Stargirl features actor Brec Bassinger, who lives with type 1 diabetes. We first spoke to Brec a couple of years ago, just after her run on Nickelodeon's "Bella and the Bulldogs." She shares what’s changed with her diabetes management since then, advice about speaking up for what she needs without feeling weird about diabetes & much more. Check out Stacey's new book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! It's an athletic edition of Tell Me Something Good with marathons! Hiking! And that feeling when you do something your middle school coach told you you’d never do because of diabetes. Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Sign up for our newsletter here ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone      Click here for Android Episode transcript:   Stacey Simms  0:00 Diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop created for people with diabetes by people who have diabetes. By Real Good Foods real food you feel good about eating and by Dexcom take control of your diabetes and live life to the fullest with Dexcom.   Announcer  0:20 This is Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms.   Stacey Simms  0:26 This week, there's a new superhero coming to the popular CW network lineup. Stargirl features actor Brec Bassingerwho lives with type one. After they started production, she found out another person in the cast and on her superhero team also lives with T1D.   Brec Bassinger  0:44 I think it's more of having that companionship, that person who understands when we're on the 17th hour of work and they bring out another snack that just as carby but we're hungry and sleepy but we don't want to eat all these carbs and just being able to look at like okay, you get it, and talk to each other and understand that was just so nice to have.   Stacey Simms  1:02 She'll share more about what it meant to have that actor Cameron Gellman on the set with her. We first spoke to Brec a couple of years ago after her run on Nickelodeon, in Bella and the Bulldogs. She talks about what's changed with her diabetes management advice about speaking up for what she needs without feeling weird about diabetes, and a lot more and athletic addition of telling me something good this week, marathons hiking, and that feeling when you do something your middle school coach told you, you never do because of diabetes. This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Welcome to another week of the show. I'm so glad to have you along. We aim to educate and inspire about type 1 diabetes by sharing stories of connection. I have a feeling that this interview is gonna bring a lot of new people into the show. So just a quick word. I'm your host, Stacey Simms. My son was diagnosed with type one right before he turned two He is now 15 years old. He's had diabetes for more than 13 years. My husband lives with type two diabetes. I don't have diabetes, I have a background in broadcasting. I spent a lot of time in local television and radio news. And that's how you get the podcast. A reminder popped up on my phone this morning about one of the trips I was supposed to be taking, like many of you, you know, of course, we had travel plans for this spring and this summer, and I was going to a lot of diabetes conferences. And it's so sad right to see those reminders pop up. But we have been doing a lot of virtual stuff. And that's been really fun to not the same, but a wonderful way to stay connected. And I'm bringing that up because I'm going to put links in the show notes. I've got a couple of events coming up jdrf and other organizations. I did one for Project Blue November not too long ago. They've been really great about scheduling these talks, the online summits, the webinars, and I've been thrilled because my topic right now is the world's worst diabetes mom, and it's been so much fun to share the information That's my book that is just out. And I'm still so excited about that. But it's been really fun to share it to people that I wouldn't have been able to meet, right? Because if I was going to Detroit, which I should have been going to this month, then we would be meeting people just at that summit. But instead, I get to meet people from all over the country. I'm trying to look at the silver lining on it. And really, that's about all we can do right now. But thank you so much the support for the book and just the last couple of weeks has really picked up if you want to check it out. Of course, I'll put a link in the show notes. It's on Amazon, The World’s Worst Diabetes Momis a parenting advice and humor book. It's kind of part memoir, kind of part, advice column and all about our experiences, making every mistake in the book when it comes to diabetes, and watching my son grow up as a confident and responsible and healthy kid, despite my many, many errors along the way. So thanks for letting me tell you about that. And boy, I hope we get back to see each other in person. Soon, it'll be a while, but it'll get better Right to Brec in just a moment. But first diabetes Connections is brought to you by Real Good Foods, nutritious food delivered straight to your door. They have so many options. They have pizzas, I think they were first known for their pizzas and they have this great cauliflower crust pizza, chicken crust pizza, and the pizzas come in different varieties or just plain crust and then you can make your own. We also really enjoy the breakfast sandwiches. They are seven carbs per sandwich. 22 grams of protein, they always post up on their Instagram, they have these grape varieties that what they show it you could really do to jazz this stuff up and people put all sorts of things to add to their sandwiches. I like them just the way they are. You can find out more about all of their products, where to buy How To order, just go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Real Good Foods logo.   My guest this week is the star of the newest superhero show on The CW Brec Bassinger plays Stargirl aka Courtney Whitmore, and this show is getting great reviews. I will link some of that up in our Facebook group. And if you're not familiar with the CW lineup, this is the same people behind the hit shows Arrow and Flash and Supergirl. I will put this clip in the group as well. No, you can't see it. But here's a little taste. (Show Clip here)   Stacey Simms  5:38 Stargirl is set to premiere May 18. Now I first spoke with Breck three years ago, and since then she's moved out she's living on her own. And as you'll hear, that is a big reason why she now wears a CGM. I need to tell you we did this interview back in January before COVID-19 and the quarantines and all the changes we're going through right now. So I tell you that just So you're not surprised at the tone, right? It's a little bit different, a little bit lighter than we might have done right now. And she's also talking about travel and conventions and things that you know have absolutely changed. Alright, but here is my interview with Brec Bassinger Brec thanks so much for coming back on the show. It's been a while. It's great to talk to you again.   Brec Bassinger  6:18 Yeah, three years. It's good stuff.   Stacey Simms  6:21 A lot has certainly changed for you. This is so exciting. I mean, you were busy then. You're busy now. But what can you tell me about Stargirl? I mean, we'll talk about diabetes eventually. But let's talk about the show.   Brec Bassinger  6:33 The important stuff in life. All of last year 2019. I was in Atlanta filming it. I've seen a few of the episodes and I'm really proud of it. I've never been part of something that I'm so like, shamelessly proud of where like the sounds are put doesn't like bragging I'm just so proud of I want every single person to see and I feel like that has to do a lot with the show runner. His name is Geoff Johns. He worked on like wonder woman and he just so amazing and like this spirit and happiness he brought to us that I feel like really just rubbed off on everyone. That was a part of it. So I I really am shamelessly. So excited for everyone to see it.   Stacey Simms  7:10 I think that's great. And you know, we've been watching the CW, DC heroes comic book shows for a couple of years now. And you know, they're just fun. And they're for families. They're good hearted. Is this in that same spirit?   Brec Bassinger  7:23 Yeah, it totally fits in with those. I've had. My family they got to all watch the first episode of the holidays with me, and they all really enjoyed it. I feel like as a whole, this one's more comparable to a film like a movie just the way films like the way it's written, like, like Flash and Arrow. It's normally like a villain per episode. And ours is more kind of like one season story arc like you can't just sit down and watch one episode and know what's going on. You kind of have to watch the full season more like a stranger things. I'd say that's kind of the main difference, the odds of like fear and it's just like happy it's not too dark. It's not Raise you like it's definitely a family friendly show, which there's not much of those. Yeah.   Stacey Simms  8:04 a that is great to hear. All right. So I know nothing about TV process and CGI and everything else. But to watch what's out there already. It looks like not only are there a lot of special effects, there's a lot of practical effects and you're, you're doing a lot of stunts. Are you doing all of those stunts or some of those stunts? I mean, it looks like it's a very challenging role physically.   Brec Bassinger  8:23 Yeah. So Stargirl, she has her her cosmic staff. So before we started filming, they put me in training with like staff training and stunt training. And so I got to do a lot of it. It was it was so funny because like at the beginning of the series, even with a couple weeks of training behind my belt, they would hand me the staff in a scene. And I just, like forget how to act because I would be so overwhelmed with having to like fight with this six foot long, both staff, but I thought that was really special because at the beginning like Courtney or struggle, like she shouldn't be as comfortable with that staff. And then towards the end of the season, when they gave me some staff, I felt so confident wasn't even thinking that it was coming. have like an extension of my arm at that point. And that's where Courtney should have been. So it was cool to kind of have that journey with Courtney.     Stacey Simms  9:11 Yeah. All right. So let's jump in and talk about diabetes. When you're training with a six foot both staff and you are not six feet tall. What does that do to your blood sugar? I mean, I'm assuming that there was a lot of planning that had to go into that and you really had to stay on top of things.   Brec Bassinger  9:24 Fortunately, like I exercise a lot so I know how to regulate my blood sugar cuz definitely like when I'm more active, it causes my blood sugar to drop. But with the stunt training stuff, it's a lot of just staying still and moving the staff around me so bad and it actually dropped my blood sugar. It was more trying to figure out like on fat I was working like one day I work 20 hours obviously that messes with my blood sugar and I really just have to learn to accept the circumstances and some days I was gonna have highs and lows and stop beat myself up about it because I I was I was working hours that aren't humanly normal.   Unknown Speaker  9:59 Can you share your diabetes management. Do you wear a CGM? Do you use an insulin pump? That sort of thing?   Brec Bassinger  10:04 Yeah, so I've always done insulin injections. I have my pin and actually have a half unit pin, which I got this past year, which has been really helpful. And then I have a CGM, a Dexcom.   Stacey Simms  10:14 Oh, and when did you start using that, if you don't mind me asking   Brec Bassinger  10:17 two years ago,   Stacey Simms  10:18 so it's pretty recent.   Brec Bassinger  10:20 Yeah, I started living by myself. And it was either that or one of the diabetes service dogs. And I had the CGM for the very first time I was like, Okay, I can't imagine a life without this just for safety reasons. And my mom wanted me to have something where she could feel more secure.   Stacey Simms  10:36 I was gonna say who gave you that choice because as a mom of my child,   Brec Bassinger  10:40 still in high school, especially during that time, I was having so many lows during the night, actually, when I started eating really healthy and working out a lot but because of that, I was just having lows all the time. And she's like, I do not feel comfortable. You living by yourself with all these lows. This is not safe. And so   Stacey Simms  10:57 do you share with your mom like she just said does she see your number Is that not Yes,   Brec Bassinger  11:01 I share with my mom, my dad, my boyfriend and my fellow diabetics with OnStargirl with me in Cameron Galvin, we have each other's follow apps. And that's really fun.   Stacey Simms  11:12 Well, there's another person with diabetes on the show.   Brec Bassinger  11:15 Yes. And we're both superheroes on the show. I'm like, come on.   Stacey Simms  11:18 So did you know each other before the casting?   Brec Bassinger  11:20 No. Well, that's the thing we had never met. I had a film something with one of my one of my friends. And she had reached out to me, she was like, Hey, can I give this guy your number? Like, you know, type one diabetic. He's talking about when you involve with Jr. And I told him, I thought you were so can I get in your contact info. So I got this random text like saying, Hey, are you going to the walk next month, if you are about to join you and your friend, Christina. And we just like it kind of sprinkled away. We never connected again. It just never worked out. And then he booked it in like, he goes to give me my number. And we're like, oh my gosh, we talked like three years ago. And he's like, Oh, it's all coming back to me. So it was like Cuz we hadn't met, we had talked it was really funny and weird.   Stacey Simms  12:03 That's great, though. I mean, obviously not everybody who has diabetes is going to be friends. Right? I have my son accuses me of that sometimes like, Oh, you should meet this person. But it's like it worked out really well.   Brec Bassinger  12:15 But I have to say like, I, maybe this is like an optimism or not not just rose colored glasses. Definitely. Every time I need a diabetic, they're the best person to my eyes and like, Oh, I lost them. We go through the same things for soulmate best friends, at least with my experience. Yeah, like I said, first podcast is might be a part of that as   Stacey Simms  12:35 well. I think it's more, you know, a 15 year old boy doesn't want his mom making friends for him. Right. But everybody could definitely do that.   Unknown Speaker  12:44 So all kidding   Stacey Simms  12:45 aside, though, I'm sure you don't talk about it all day on the set. I don't want to imply that you do. But has it come in handy. I mean, do you both kind of help each other is there is it just a kinship and a friendship on set.   Brec Bassinger  12:58 I think it's more of having Got companionship, that person who understands when we're on the 17th hour of work and they bring out another snack that just is carbee. But we're hungry and sleepy, but we don't want to eat all these carbs and just being able to look you get like look at each other and talk to each other and understand that was just so nice to have.   Stacey Simms  13:18 And you're both Well, obviously you're playing the superhero, but the other actor is playing a superhero as well.   Brec Bassinger  13:23 Mm hmm. Yes. Okay, so that   Stacey Simms  13:24 will lead me to my one of my questions. I had a couple of listeners who wanted to know if you have any issues wearing diabetes technology under the costume.   Right back to her answer, but first diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop, and One Drop is diabetes management for the 21st century. One Drop was designed by people with diabetes. For people with diabetes. One Drops glucose meter looks nothing like a medical device. It's sleek, compact, and seamlessly integrates with the award winning One Drop mobile app. sync all your other health apps to One Drop to keep track of the big picture and easily see health trends. And with a One Drop subscription you get unlimited test strips and lancets delivered right to your door. Every One Drop plan includes access to your own certified diabetes coach have questions, but don't feel like waiting for your next doctor's visit. Your personal coach is always there to help go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the One Drop logo to learn more. Right back to my interview. I'm asking Breck about wearing diabetes gear under the costume.   So you don't wear an insulin pump. But you were a CGM. And the Dexcom is just a little bit of a raised bump. Do you have to do any accommodations for that? And I know it can be personal So   Brec Bassinger  14:44 no, no, I'm, I'm an open book. When I was doing the cuts to the costume. It took in about 12 to 15 sittings hours and hours upon work like dozens of people touched and worked on it. And while we were doing the city I saw the G five which was bigger than the G six. It's still small but bigger. And they're like oh, but you can take that off. And I was like I can, but I'm not going to because I just I for safety reasons. It makes them feel more comfortable. It helps me like everything in Lj the costume designer, she was super understanding. But yeah, I haven't come my super suit is super tight. So I'm sure if you watch close enough in the series comes out, you'll be able to spot it sometimes but like it is what it is.   Stacey Simms  15:30 Well, you just gave a challenge to everybody with diabetes in their family watching they're gonna be freeze frame. I know.   Brec Bassinger  15:37 You're gonna be able to see it. Fortunately, I think a lot of times they would go in and edit it out. We do have that. Oh, yeah. And editing budget, which makes it nice, but I like some of the episodes I've watched. I've spotted it. So I'm so curious to see if other people will be able to as well.   Stacey Simms  15:52 And let me ask you about Cameron, if you don't mind. And again, this is too personal. I'll take this part out. Let me ask you about Cameron, just as he were up. pump for CGM, can we be spotting for stuff on him?   Brec Bassinger  16:02 Yeah. So see, I know he's had more experience in like the pump world than I have. I've never had one. So that doesn't take much. I'm not exactly sure. I know he was more lenient to take it on and off than I was. But that would be a question for him. I'm not really sure.   Stacey Simms  16:20 All right, well, we'll just get a remote controls that will just stop it as the show goes. That's really funny. Yeah. You know, it does have to be difficult because as you said, there's crazy hours, they are feeding you, but maybe it's not exactly what everybody wants to have at those long hours. Those long days. As you mentioned, the carves, you've been in television for a long time. I mean, I'm curious, are you able to talk to people on the set and say, you know, I really would prefer this or I need that or is it just a question of you kind of finding your way through what's out there?   Brec Bassinger  16:51 I have a couple things with that. It's really interesting. As an actor, it's so easy to get this diva persona you ask for anything in someone gonna call you a diva. And so I always felt really bad or that I couldn't ask for things because I never, I never wanted that. But then at some point, you have to realize there's people there that want to help you that will help you. It's their job to help you. And so walking onto this site, I made a pact with myself that when I needed help, I wasn't gonna be afraid to ask, because of what other people were going to think just for my own health, I say health as well. And so I went into the show with that new like perspective, and it definitely was helpful like, we have like a craft service guy, who who provide all the snack foods, and I became best friends with him. And they were absolutely amazing to me, they would get any like if ever there was a time I wanted something special. They never made me feel like a diva for asking for it, which is so great of them. And then also Karen and I share something else we both actually have celiac disease as well. So our diet is extremely strict and once again, not health that's not me being like a diva like Oh, I can't eat gluten because I don't want to it's I I can't. So once again, like I think maybe having these health issues makes it easier for me to ask because I kind of have an excuse. But it still was difficult to like, get over that hump.   Stacey Simms  18:13 Well, and I know that there are going to be younger people, maybe more than usual listening to the show, because you're on it. And I'm so glad you said that, because it's very difficult to ask for things. Right? It's difficult to say, I'm different. I need nobody wants to be a bother or as you're saying, like a diva. You know, nobody wants to be perceived that way. And I'm curious, were you always like that? Or you said you made a pact on this show? Do you feel like it took you a while to build up to have the confidence to ask for those things.   Brec Bassinger  18:42 100% I have to give a lot like living by myself for the first time. I think living in LA as I was 18 my mom and dad prepared me as much as they could, but it's hard living by yourself. And I think that's the time when I really learned to not be like diabeetus I, that's the time of my life that I learned that it's okay to ask for help. But it took practice, I think asking for help. It's a skill that you have to work on. And sometimes you have to swallow your pride. And sometimes you have to feel like a diva or needy. But in the long run, if you can do that, you'll be so much happier.   Stacey Simms  19:17 That's fantastic. I know you've gone to jdrf children's congresses, and you've been very involved with jdrf What's it like for you when you meet these kids? Because they're so excited to meet you. You know, there's somebody on TV who lives with type one and goes through what I go through and take shots and has to put the CGM on and their mom worries and wants to follow just like my mom. Is it still for you talk to these kids?   Brec Bassinger  19:38 Oh, yes. Like I said, maybe it's a rose colored glasses. But every time I meet another diabetic, I have like, this instant connection with them. I'm like, Oh my gosh, do you miss drinking a regular coke without having to pay for it for the next 24 hours? Like, oh my gosh, I can't remember the last time I did like, it's so funny. It's like what I like when you can connect to someone on such a personal thing. Like it's just fun and then yeah Like, I was a kid with diabetes, and so like, being able to, like, have these things that I've learned throughout the years and kind of helping them like if they've had questions, I think, oh, I've been in your shoes. Let me tell you what helped me. Hopefully it'll help you. I mean, all bodies are different, but kind of like that older sibling. I think that's so fun.   Stacey Simms  20:19 Yo, I wanted to ask you, and this may be a really dumb question, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. I wanted to ask you, there was a movie that you were in and I couldn't see it. I'm sorry. I don't do any kind of horror movies. I don't do scary stuff. 47 meters down on K. Yeah. Right, which was water and scary and AR and was that and again, I don't know anything about how they make movies. So I don't know maybe it was in a swimming pool. But was that hard to film with somebody who has type one I did that presented a unique challenges.   Brec Bassinger  20:47 That was the best experience for me. It's because I actually never was in the water. Not once the filming process that you were in the water was insane and like in hindsight, Cuz I actually originally auditioned for one of the main girls but whatever it was maybe I wasn't right for it shooting schedule a Stargirl didn't align for whatever reason I didn't get it, but they, they offered me a smaller like, I'm like the mean girl in it. And in hindsight like it would have been a really big team to overcome having to be under what they were under water for eight hours a day, I'm sure like, my blood sugar would have I would have figured it out because I refuse to let it stop me from doing anything. But it definitely would have been a battle that I haven't had to deal with yet.   Stacey Simms  21:33 All right, sorry. For my ignorance. I find seniors I'm sure it would have known that but there's no   Brec Bassinger  21:38 okay, every like every time someone finds out, I'm like, how'd you get killed by a shark? I'm like, I don't get killed. Like, oh, you're the one that survives the shark. I was like, No, I never see the shark.   Unknown Speaker  21:51 Totally Okay, I got it. That's hilarious.   Stacey Simms  21:53 Oh my god. That's too funny. When you were diagnosed, you were eight years old. And I'm curious. Did your family meet other people with diabetes right away. Did you do the jdrf walks and things like that? Or did it take you a while to find people?   Brec Bassinger  22:06 I got involved with jdrf pretty quickly. I think I was diagnosed in January. And I think that October I did the walk. And that was actually I think the that year was the year I was most involved with jdrf not talking about like, recent years like ambassador, things like that. But we raise so much money, we had a team of like 40 people come out and all walk with like breakfast buddies shirts on pretty instantly I got involved with jdrf they've always been that sense of community for me, and I'm so grateful for them. Actually. Funny enough, I think when I was kin to be chosen for children's Congress is one of like the type of kids that goes you have to like write an essay. And I wrote an essay trying to get chosen and I didn't try it. Eight years later, or nine years later, whatever it is, I got to come as like one of the people speaking on the panel and one of like, the role models for all the kids who got Cuz I'm like, wow, that's full circle. I felt so blessed. It was such a cool like thing to look back on. That is   Stacey Simms  23:06 great. Oh my goodness yeah children's Congress really is incredible. So your schedule for the next couple of weeks months is going to be bananas I would assume How does it work? So the whole the whole series is shot.   Brec Bassinger  23:19 Yeah, so we shot for eight months last year and actually like the past few months has been pretty not busy for me because I'm just we call it the hiatus and we're waiting to hear about season two. So fingers crossed about that. But right now it's kind of like the waiting game and then I imagine I'll start doing press promoting first season I heard I can't talk too much about it. But I've heard about me getting to go to some of those conventions like similar like Comic Con or writer con things like that. And I'm just like, above the moon I think that's the coolest I'm so excited. Yeah.   Stacey Simms  23:53 Well, and you know, superhero movies of the whole genre is obviously goes without saying is so huge right now. Is this something that When you were younger, that I mean not even as an actress because it means are great roles to play. But as a consumer did, is this your thing? Did you go to these kinds of movies? Did you are you into comic book characters,   Brec Bassinger  24:10 so I never read comics growing up, but I've always been like the first one to go see the comic movies that come out. That being said, though, like, I remember one day on set in particular, I was in a harness, because I was supposed to be flying in the scene. So I was in our green screen room on set, hanging in this harness in my superhero costume with this like custom, beautifully made cosmic staff. I was like, Oh my gosh, my dreams have been made. I did not know this was my dream. But this this exact thing is my dream. He must   Stacey Simms  24:41 be wild to work in the green screen setting. So I mean, as an actress, you know, you don't know what's around you.   Brec Bassinger  24:47 It is so weird. I had never done anything like it before. And so in it, there's their strike. he's a he's a 15 1615 or 16 foot robot and while we had a practical one, any Time like we were fighting together, or a lot of times, if we were in random places just talking, it was all CGI. So I was talking to that tennis ball. Like if you've ever watched like BTS videos like, I had that as well. And I'm really I'm really hoping from many reasons that we get picked up for a second season, but particularly because like, I'll have watched the whole first season by the time we go back to phone. And so I like when I'm talking to that tennis ball. I'll know exactly what I'm talking to. For first season. It was pure imagination. I was just doing the best I could. I was like, What second season I would have more point of reference, but it was it was definitely hard, but it's really, really cool.   Stacey Simms  25:38 I'm gonna dive in. We're gonna start wrapping it up here. But so here's a question I got from a listener. It's actually from Jessica wanted to ask her her daughter's question. And this is a might be a tough one. She wants to know why you like acting. This young woman is nine years old and has typed on herself.   Brec Bassinger  25:54 Oh, why do I like acting? It's funny. So the only Everything I've ever wanted to be in my life was an astronaut because I thought the moon was made of cheap. And then when I found out the moon wasn't made of cheese, I said, Well, I don't want to be an astronaut anymore. I'm gonna be an actress. Like little six year old Breck was running around and people will be like, why do you want to grow up and I'm like, I don't want to be anything, I'm gonna be an actress. And so I feel like it really was just put in me. And I think I love it. Because the way it stimulates my creative side, and also the way it makes me, it's created this, I'm able to have empathy for other people in my work. So like, as I take on another character, I feel like while studying and becoming this character, I learned so much about the world and different people in it. Just that I'm such a people person. So it's like a job where I literally get to play other people and learn about people is such a perfect fit for me.   Stacey Simms  26:52 And before I let you go, I don't want to make too much of an issue of it. But I do think it's worth talking about that in the last few years. It's been really Nice to see a lot of the superhero shows and movies be led by women. I mean, this show is Stargirl. And I think that's just phenomenal. I'm so excited to have young women and little girls watching this show. Does it make you a little nervous though? I mean, when you're filming this Did you kind of think of the back your mind, I'm gonna be somebody's role model. Somebody is Halloween costume.   Brec Bassinger  27:22 Unfortunately, I feel like fell on the Bulldogs, which was the Nickelodeon show I was on for a couple years, like prepared me for that or prepared me for this. Like I played a female quarterback, very strong female lead. I had girls dressing up for me of Halloween. So I think that was like a good stepping stone for what the school be. I mean, I'm not sure what this will be. But I hope it's big and I hope girls are watching it and feeling inspired. I feel prepared. I'm not scared.   Stacey Simms  27:49 Yeah, that's a great point because that show was terrific. And really was it was different to which was fun. You know, it really was different light. brick. Thank you so much for talking with me. Please tell kameron that we said Hi, and we're excited to watch the both of you on this show. I really appreciate you spending some time with me. We'll be looking for the CGM outline. And I hope we get to talk again. Thank you so much.   Brec Bassinger  28:13 Thank you. Good to talk to you.   Unknown Speaker  28:21 You're listening to diabetes connections with Stacey Simms.   Stacey Simms  28:26 You can find out more about Stargirl and about Rick, just go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the episode homepage. We have transcriptions. Now I've been adding for 2020 and hoping to go back into that for many more episodes. But if you know someone who would prefer to read the show, rather than Listen, you can send them to the episode homepage. You should all be there along with the clip I was telling you about earlier and some more information about BRAC I think this is going to be a big hit. I'm so excited for her and I will follow up and see if we can talk to Cameron as well. nice thing to have support and somebody who gets it on the set. All right up next is tell me something good but first diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dexcom. And you know when you have a toddler diagnosed with type one like we did you hear rumblings for a long time about the teen years right over the treaded teen years, but it did hit us a little early. And I was really glad that we had Dexcom Benny's insulin needs started going way up around age 11. He looks like a completely different person. I was going through photos, my cousin was asking me to send some photos for an event that she's having. So I was going through photos from three to four years ago, right when he was in the swing of this right at the beginning. He looks like a completely different person. He's probably grown six or seven inches just since age 11. I don't have to spell out what else has happened. He's shaving. I mean, he looks completely different. It's so wild. But along with the hormone swings, I just can't imagine managing diabetes during this crazy time. Without the Dexcom continuous glucose monitoring system. We can react more quickly to highs loz see trends and adjust insulin doses with advice from our endocrinologist. I know using the Dexcom g six has helped improve Benny's agency and overall health. If your glucose alerts and readings from the G six do not match symptoms or expectations, use a blood glucose meter to make diabetes treatment decisions. To learn more, go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Dexcom logo.   In Tell me something good This week we have some great stories from athletes. I'm going to start with Zoe cook. She was told by a coach when she was younger that she would never be an athlete because of type 1 diabetes. So he says she was diagnosed at 10 kicked off the competitive swim team because the coach said she was too high risk that in middle school when she was 13. Her test coach told her that because she went low running sprints, she would have to leave the team. That was the coach who said she would never be an athlete. So he says she's really glad that she had parents who could tell me he was ready. Wrong way to go. So we and she also says that last year she ran the New York City Marathon with her mother who also has type one way to go. So we and way to show that dumb coach. You know what things really are all about. It is amazing how I always think that that's ancient history, right that someone will say you can't do this because of diabetes, but it still happens and we still have to advocate for our kids. Or if you're living with type one I know you know, you have to advocate for yourself. And you know, we'll get there. It's just a lot of education. Julie's Tell me something good is herself. Julie Raiden has been type one for 53 years. She posted all her wonderful numbers. She has a pretty extraordinary one c 4.9. She has incredible time and range and she is 61. If you listen to the show, often you know that I don't often share numbers. We all do this on our own way. But man Julie, I wanted to share that because I can't even imagine how hard you work. Good for you. She also is a hiker and stays very active. I did ask you I sent a note back and I said, What's something you didn't think you could do when you were first diagnosed that you have been able to accomplish? And I thought she would say, you know, hiking or staying active or something like that. And she really hit it on the nose when she said, I hate to say this, but successfully living to 60. I was always told I wouldn't. So that does give you perspective. Julie, thank you so much for responding and sending that in. I appreciate it. And finally, Mike Joyce. Mike shared that last year he hiked 2200 miles from Maine to Georgia. And this year, he is going to hike the Pacific Northwest trail that's a 1200 mile trail from Glacier National Park to Olympic National Park. I think I've profiled him before or mentioned him because I remember this last year when he was on the Appalachian Trail, right Mike? He says he uses a phrase of the inhaled insulin and packs a ton of food. Remember this Mike, I'm gonna have to look you up and put up a link from from last year when we talked about this. And he sent me some pictures that I'll share on social media. And one more story for today. Something good. I got a review that I wanted to share. I sometimes share reviews, I get reviews on podcast apps like Apple podcast player or whatever, you know, there's a bajillion of them. And it's always wonderful to get a nice review. So I appreciate that if you want to do that, you know, I love it. Thank you so much. It does help the show. But you know, frankly, Apple podcasts is kind of a pain to leave reviews on. But I got one that made me really smile and I wanted to share it. T Piper writes, Stacey is a diabetic. I love it. Thank you for being so Frank and direct with the head of Dexcom. You are our voice and we are so grateful. Our family is so appreciative. You know, that refers to the Dexcom interview we did recently, I believe about the CGM in the hospital. And if you haven't heard, I did ask about assistance, financial assistance during this time because other companies are doing that with Dexcom follow suit and they said at the time while we're thinking about it, we haven't done anything. And more recently, they did announce Some help so I will link that up as well. But t Piper, that's very cool. Thank you very much for that review. I have to tell you it made my husband really laugh. I showed it to him and he thought that was amazing. A diabetic, I appreciate it so much. All right, give me your Tell me something good stories. I love to share them on the show. I post in the Facebook group all the time, or you can always email me Stacey at Diabetes connections.com.   Working on a couple of projects behind the scenes, if you have a homegrown diabetes, a company or a smaller diabetes company and you are looking for advertising, I'm going to be posting in the Facebook group and probably on the public page as well pretty soon about a new project that I'm working on. And it's an opportunity for smaller companies to get attention from the type 1 diabetes community so be on the lookout for that. I'm very excited about it. I already have a couple of partners on board and you know, we're just going to keep moving forward. Things do not look the way we thought they would look this year. But we have no choice but to keep moving. And thank you all for all of the support you show not only by listening, downloading and sharing the show, but by taking part in the zoom chats that I'm doing by just having the community in the Facebook group. It really helps me personally, I just feel better about things and I hope it's helping you as well. thank you as always to my editor john Buchanan's from audio editing solutions, who is slam packed jam busy Is that even a word phrase? Because everybody wants to do a podcast now and everybody wants to do one, you know, remote at home and doesn't know how to do it. So they're all calling john and he's really busy right now, which I guess is good. There's another silver lining. And thank you so much for listening. I'm Stacey Simms. I'll see you back here next week.   Brec Bassinger  35:48 Diabetes Connections is a production of Stacey Simms media. All rights reserved. All rounds avenged.   Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Cuz I'm in New Yorkkkkkkk!!! What up, yall!? How's 2020 treating ya so far!? Episode 9 already! If you been following along you know why I'm in NY- if not, I catch you up. Date has been set (yep, haven't done it yet) and what this means for me and the Watch the Throne GWL-CYTC 2020 trek. Is it no longer a thing!?! Listen to this episode to find out! Thank you for listening. Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/trail.pope & instagram.com/trailpopeconfessions as well on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trail.pope/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/trail.pope/support

Kevin and Scott review the Coen Brother's 1990 cult classic, "Miller's Crossing". Set in 1920's prohibition era America, this film follows a war between two rival mobs for control of a city. At the center are two unlikely love triangles, and one cunning Irishman. So stop ballin' like a twist ya lousy potato eater, and download this episode! Cuz I'm sick of gettin' the High Hat!

Speaker: Jamal Ford --Spoken word poetry Lyrics:- "This month of Ramadhan, The month of the Quran, The month where prophet received wahi and come with al Islam This month, which is so blessed, So how come, I am so stressed? Cuz I'm done, with seeing my Ummah, So hungry and oppressed But this month it has a rep, And that rep is one of struggle, And that rep is one of victory, Check your wonderful history You'll see this month of Ramadhan, Is blessed in more ways than one, That's why the sahabah looked for the hottest days to fast, in the blazing sun The last ten days are approaching us, Have we done enough? Have we done enough? Strive for the sake of Allah, Nowadays we just can't wait for Iftar All we think about is breaking our fast, ...As if fasting is the greatest of tasks SubhanAllah I ask that Allah make us of those that please him, And guide and help those that really need him We are comfortable here, but it's a struggle overseas, But it's still one Ummah, so when you hurt so de we... I ask Allah that this be the last Ramadhan without an amirul mu'mineen, The last month before we see implementation of Allah's deen Lastly I ask that Allah forgive us all our sins, And that these last days of Ramadhan are spent for the sake of him...." Therefore proclaim openly, that which you are commanded, and turn away from Al-Mushrikun (Al-Hijr:94) Hizb ut-Tahrir Britain: Annual Ramadhan Ijtima 2013 The Prophet's Ramadhan - Month to Struggle for Islam "It is He who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth to manifest it over all religion, although they who associate others with Allah dislike it." 9:33 The Prophet (SAW) and the Sahaba (RA) demonstrated that Ramadhan was the month to struggle for establishing the Deen of Allah in society and state. The Prophet SAW carried the intellectual struggle of the Qur'an in Makkah and then the practical struggle of establishing Islam in society in Madinah and then the global struggle to carry Islam to the world. This is the very nature of this Qur'an that Muslims are reciting every day in Ramadhan -- a message of struggle against all forms of jahilliyah. This is the Prophet's Ramadhan and this is what the Muslims today need to emulate as an Ummah.

"I see you asking yourself, how can he be so skinny, but live so phat? Cuz I'm the Maestro..." -Adrock

A stressful holiday season with all the planning and shopping and traffic is seemingly impossible to avoid. But what if there was a way to enjoy this holiday season with peace and joy rather then stress and anxiety? Well, we believe this is possible. -- Take our 31-day marriage prayer challenge today and join the 1000's of couples who have done it. https://shop.marriageaftergod.com/products/thirty-one-prayers-bundle -- FOR MORE MARRIAGE ENCOURAGEMENT https://marriageaftergod.com https://instagram.com/marriageaftergod SHOP MARRIAGE RESOURCES https://shop.marriageaftergod.com FOR WIVES https://unveiledwife.com https://facebook.com/unveiledwife FOR HUSBANDS https://husbandrevolution.com https://facebook.com/HusbandRevolution READ: Hey, we're Aaron and Jennifer Smith with Marriage After God. Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage. And today we're gonna share how to enjoy a stress-free holiday season. Thank you so much for joining us this week and we're really excited to jump into today's episode. Yeah, before we get started, as usual want to invite you to subscribe to our channel so you get notified every time we upload a new episode. So it's that time of the year where holidays are coming up, we got Thanksgiving, we got Christmas. Lots of family stuff going on. Yeah, family time, we got Black Friday, Cyber Monday. Some people see those as holidays. -Yeah. They're spending holidays. So we just thought we'd share some tips on how to have a stress-free holiday. So why don't you give tip number one and then we'll just run through these? Okay. Okay, so the first tip is make sure to plan, when you have everyone over at your house, to do a recipe for dinner that you've never done before. And it's really special if you only give yourself the exact amount of time to get it done. Like a super complicated Pinterest recipe. Super complicated, pictures perfect. It's like 10 courses, dessert, three turkeys, brisket. Like everything, right? And tell everyone don't worry about bringing anything, just make sure you put all that burden and pressure on yourself just so that you can wow 'em, you know? Yeah. Number two. That's a good one. Number two is remember that if you don't provide a perfect, perfect holiday event that everyone's gonna realize that you actually don't love them. Sad. Like if you don't just put it all together perfectly, when you realize that, it'll help you just to do it right so that you get every single thing right and it's just super special. So that's number two. Just to have a stress-free holiday. What's number three? So the third one is keep really high expectations up because if you keep high expectations up on how everything will go, then you're usually more motivated and more excited about that specific day. Yeah, like so high that you like need like a step-up stool to get to the top shelf of expectations, right? Yeah, totally. Yeah, those are the special ones to meet your expectations. Yeah, at the end of the year where all the expectations just like, it's like the power expectation. Yeah, like how this is gonna go is gonna set the tone for all of the next year. All next year. Yeah, exactly. The fourth tip is don't shop online because shopping online is too easy because then you can just wait for it, it comes in the mail and you-- It's boring. You can't like touch the gifts. Yeah, you want to go like the day before, you know, Christmas or-- On a weekend. Yeah, right when everyone's going because that way you can do with other people. It's more communal. And everyone's looking for the same things so it makes the shopping experience just much more eventful. Yeah, and all the traffic to get there, right? I mean, all the red brake lights. That's what I have in my mind when-- And that's time so you just really contemplate how those expectations you just talked about are gonna get fulfilled. Yeah, when I think of holidays, I think of lights, you know, colorful lights. I think of those red tail lights and like traffic jams and lots of long lines and it's just fun, it's fun to be remembering how that is a significant part of shopping. Yeah, that's awesome, we have to come more. What's the next one? So the next one kind of goes along with shopping on the weekends during the holiday season but it's make sure that you get everyone in your family the gifts that they want. And friends and extended family because they all, there's also something they all need, right. Yeah, get everyone everything that they want and if you do it that way, you won't miss anyone and you won't hurt anyone's feeling by not getting them what they wanted. So just be real specific and get 'em what they want. Yeah, and then that goes to the the last tip is because you're getting everything everyone wants, just put it on credit. That way you don't have to worry about not having the money now. Right, right, worry about it next year. Yeah, you can worry about it next year. Like it's-- Stress-free holiday now. Yeah. So of course we're kidding. We do this every once in a while, we give these fake tips. This is a typical holiday I would imagine. It's funny. But I think that these six tips we gave should be thrown out. Because they don't work really. No, they do the opposite. This is we're used to, this is what we're accustomed to, this is what happens, but it doesn't provide that stress-free-- And I don't know about our listeners but this has been, not the credit part, but this has been our lives of like hey, if I get so-and-so one thing, do I have to also get these three people something? Like if I don't get them and then I get them something, are they gonna realize that I didn't and we just have like all of our emotions wrapped up in like what we're getting for someone or how we're preparing an evening or having the most epic recipe. Yeah. And well, I know we were joking about that but I think sometimes we do want to impress people and we want to make sure that they don't have to worry about anything so we put all that pressure on ourselves and we don't usually give ourselves enough time and the other people will miss out on, you know, I don't know, sharing in that blessing of-- Well, so thinking about the food thing. For this year, I'm currently, I'm gonna be smoking a turkey for the first time ever. And so I kind of have some high expectations for myself. For yourself, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, oh, I want this to be the best turkey ever. I'm like looking up like special recipes. And so I just need to have some really level expectations of like okay, like what's our back-up plan if I fail at this turkey? Well, as you're talking, I'm thinking okay, and I also have-- Frozen hamburgers. Yeah, no, that's not gonna fly. Okay, but check it out. So I was just thinking as you're talking about expectations and specifically smoking this turkey because you smoking even chicken in the past, I'm sitting there going okay, the sides are done, when is it gonna be ready? So I have to time this better. Yeah, so you're gonna have to time it really good so that my expectations are met, please. Okay. -I'm just kidding. No, but I should probably lower my expectations as well on that one. And know that to get it perfect, it might take a little bit longer to get it just right. Anyways we did the funny tips, these atypical sort of advice that no one would ever give you but we all kind of walk it in some form or fashion. We all do it anyways. But what we want to do is we actually want to walk through just some higher level tips to actually lower the stress. Because these holidays that the world and society has put so much weight on don't actually have to be weighty. They could be very enjoyable and very peaceful and not stressful. Yeah. So before we jump into those real tips, because we're talking about the holiday season, I thought it would be fun to just share with our listeners, you know, maybe some of our favorite memories growing up from our childhood. We can give some of that perspective of like what does a child think about these holidays coming up? Yeah, cuz when we were kids, we didn't think about all of the work or energy that went into it putting it together. Right, we just enjoyed it. We just, yeah, we had fun. So you asked me before we started this episode, you know, what is one of my favorite holiday memories? And I sighed because I'm like, man, I'm really bad at the nostalgia stuff because-- Oh, remembering. Yeah, remembering it. But I just think like I don't remember most presents I ever got. I actually maybe remember one present. I remember all the presents I didn't get. The boots. The boots. I remember like that side of that stuff but I mostly remember going and being around family. Like I remember being excited every time we'd go to my grandparents house and all of my cousins and all of my uncles and everyone was there. And I also remember like loving that there was a lot of food. Like it didn't matter what it was actually, there was one thing. As long as there is candied yams. -That is probably still our favorite part. That's literally my favorite part of this season, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Oh, that and eggnog. Oh, eggnog for sure. That's kind of like the only tradition I have in my life is like I have to drink eggnog. And it can't be mixed with anything. It just has to be pure, thick, delicious. A good brand of eggnog. Yeah, local eggnog. So like yeah, when we're thinking about all the things that now that we're adults might bring us stress, when we were kids the things that we enjoyed about the holidays. It was people and food, I feel like the majority. Yeah, gifts, and like just it was the things that we don't think about now necessarily. We don't remember as kids all the things that made it maybe difficult or heavy or we didn't think about money back then, we didn't think about time or work or all these things that now we think about. So it's a good perspective to think like, oh, well, you know, what our kids experience isn't necessarily what we experience. But we can make them experience it good or bad in the way we think about it. What was one of your favorite experiences growing up with the holidays? Yeah. I would say it was spending time with family and even just running around doing things together was really enjoyable and just seeing the decorations, so whether we were driving or walking in a neighborhood where there was Christmas lights. Oh yeah. You family still does that. Yeah, we still do that. We love that. Christmas light drives. Yeah, we really love that. But just spending time together, I really feel like that was stand out to me. My stepdad and I, we'll still joke about going Christmas shopping and we'd get all, every kid would have a cart and we'd sit on the back of the last person's cart and do like a train through the store. You guys ever do that? Oh, no. Oh, that was really fun for us. There's only ever two of us. Oh, right, we have a little bit bigger family so that was really fun. And then the food. Just you know, always knowing that we were gonna go and we're gonna either make it together or eat it together. You know, all of those things were stand out to me. That's good. So there's some common themes on just the simple things that we remember, not the complicated hard things necessarily. Oh, and Christmas Eves service. Like going to church, we all dressed up. It was the one day a year that we all dressed up in our nicest outfits and did our hair and there was always a little bit of chaos surrounding it. We got to get there on time. But doing like candlelight service, that was always something that I look forward to. Something that you started when we got married, or when we had Elliot I should say, was always opening a gift the night before. Oh yeah. Sorry, I just can't wait. -Yeah, but that's what your family's always done. We've always just enjoyed that. And not me. My family wouldn't let me open them until like after every single person was up, after everyone was showered, after we had breakfast, after the house was clean, after. It's like noon, we're like opening presents. It wasn't that late. Yeah, can't make kids wait that long. Well, another reason, I don't know if you know this, why I like opening gifts early too is because growing up, my parents were divorced and so we had split holidays where I would spend Christmas Eve with my mom, Christmas Day with my dad, and so I kind of did get gifts on both days and so I liked getting them early too. But you liked spending time with the people more probably. Yeah, yeah. So why don't we talk about some tips? Cuz I'm sure everyone that's listening has similar things that they think about, similar experiences, and we're all gonna be different in little nuances but I think overall there's a universal way that we can be in any types of events to be more stress if you have peace, to view these holidays more soberly and enjoy them more. So why don't we talk through some tips that all of our listeners can walk through in their own marriage and practice and start to implement and talk about, and maybe everyone will have a very peaceful simple holiday season. Yeah, well, I think just the the overall tip that I want to mention first was making sure that your heart is right, you know, going into the season. But like that requires you to be intentional every day, to kind of do a heart check and say where am I, what am I thinking about, what's going on, and going before the Lord and if you have expectations or you have hopes and you have specific things that you hope would happen during this time, giving them to him and saying hey, God, could this happen? And just laying it before him. And if it doesn't, be okay with that. Yeah. So that's a good starting point, just checking our hearts. We learned that in the Bible that it's good to examine ourselves, where we're at with all of this stuff, what's our expectations, what's our perceptions do we have, dispositions towards things? Me, I personally have always had a disposition of and people have called me Scrooge. You don't want to be forced to celebrate. I don't like feeling manipulated into like all year round, not a single person thinks anything of me if I don't get him a gift. But I feel like this season like Christmas season, all of a sudden I feel like, well, certain people, are they gonna feel a certain way if I don't get them something and I just, I don't like the way that feels. Now I've had to adjust a lot of my own heart and overall thinking. But yeah, that's been my disposition. I don't know if it was just the way I was raised or just my natural way of being of not liking to being told what to do by society, by commercials. And your disposition has been that it's a special sacred time and there's always like we have to have a Christmas tree and we have to, like you see like an experience that makes you feel a certain way. Yeah, I like to enjoy all the little things and, but almost to the point where I'm not flexible with giving things up if it doesn't happen or getting upset. Right, because the advice you just gave of evaluating here. You've never, not never, but you don't usually stop and say okay, all these things that I love about this season, I'm gonna hand them to you Lord and like what do you want to change in me? Is there something you want me to recognize about myself? Instead of just controlling it and being like I want it to be this way. Which on my end, I'm like throw it all out, I won't do any of it. I think I even asked this year, I was like are we doing a Christmas tree this year? So with them listening and hearing how we're so kind of opposite in this area, I wonder if they think we fight over the holiday season. Sometimes. We do. It happens. Which is why we're talking about this stuff. And that's why it's so important to check our hearts. That's why I wanted to start with that one because all these tips that we're gonna talk about right now go back to this one thing that's your heart and your heart matters, so okay, so. Okay, so number one is communicate. So being able to, I feel like we, every time we do a tip list, we start out with communicate but it's so important. Yeah and most people don't know how to communicate. Like how do I share that I'm not interested in getting a Christmas tree when I know for a fact you absolutely 100% want a Christmas tree? And that's where like in their situations, they're gonna have something maybe similar where one person has a certain idea or way of wanting to do it and the other person has another one. I might not be able to come to you and say hey, can we evaluate this year whether we want to do that or not? Because I might be afraid that you're gonna be broken or hurt or like how could you not want to do? That's what we always have done. But it's not right for you to not say anything just because there's eggshells all around me and you don't want to crack them, so. So not only do we need to give each other room to communicate but then we have to communicate. Yeah. And without an agenda of like I'm gonna communicate because that's exactly what I want. Especially if it's not that big of a deal. But it could be this year I don't think it's wise for us to spend money on the Christmas tree and that's my reasoning behind it. Maybe we're just so busy with other things that we're not going to go cut one down or we're not gonna be able to afford one because, man, they're expensive if you don't go cut one yourself. And a lot of people can't cut themselves. And that's just one example but. So a few things to communicate about is feelings, like how you explain like what your feelings about the holidays and these specific events and with certain people coming and how you might, maybe you're like hey, so-and-so's coming over and actually I have some anxiety about it because of these few reasons. How can you help me navigate this or how should I be thinking about this? So that I can then encourage you or vice versa in the Word of God, in prayer to be preparing our hearts. Maybe we need to change plans. So feelings about the whole thing. Yeah, potential plans, communicating. Like kind of like what you mentioned, this is what we have tentatively on the calendar and just giving your spouse a heads up of like this is what we've already committed to, this what we've said yes to, this is the family that's gonna be in town, this is how we're gonna roll it out. Yeah. Family values, this is the big one, going back to the heart thing. Asking ourselves, communicating with each other like what do we actually value as a family? Is it getting lots of gifts, like we just want to make this like an all out or is it like we want to be simpler, we want to teach more intrinsic things. We want to just teach just being together, reading together, listening to certain songs together, singing together, learning something new together, serving together. Like what are our values and how can we wrap everything else around our values and what do we need to get rid of that are kind of ancillary to our values? Like oh, we don't need to do those things or that we're doing for another motive and it doesn't really fit into what we are as a family or what we want to teach our children, right? Like just one example would be like let's say if it comes to gifts. Instead of everyone getting five gifts, maybe, and we've done this before, like one little tiny gift and like one learning gift and one gift that they really want. Or one gift or just a dollar amount that we want to spend. Some people, and we've talked about this even, do like a give and get. Like hey, you're gonna get a gift but is there something that you want to give to someone else and how-- Your siblings, yeah. So practicing those things like what are our values as a family? And then the last one, it would be expectations on all of these things. You have to identify what those are before you can communicate them, so this goes back to checking your heart and thinking and considering about how you want this holiday season to be and then sitting down with your spouse and communicating that. Yeah, so lots of communication about all these things and continual communication. Yeah, and I think the key to this type of communication, especially if you want a stress-free holiday is to communicate with humility leading your heart. Yeah. And asking the Lord like you said in the beginning, what his heart is for the holiday. Yeah, yeah, don't skip over what he wants for you. Yeah, are we just like kind of gonna do our own thing or are we gonna actually say okay, Lord, what do you want to happen? Because if you do it that way, then he's at the center of all of it, right? Yeah. And he could even pull out of us something that he wants to change in us about the way we view it or the things that we want or don't want. Yeah, and oftentimes when you keep God at the center of your relationship like that, what I've known from experience is that it can even change your heart or perspective towards your spouse. Like if if you guys aren't in agreeance over how many gifts are gonna be given or what family is gonna come over or whether you're gonna get that Christmas tree or not, instead of arguing about it, God actually changes your heart or changes their heart on the matter so that you guys can be in unity and enjoy that season. That's good. So the next thing we want to talk about, we just talked about expectations but now we're going to go into expectations. So just the idea of letting go, being flexible, and having very light expectations. Because again, these days are just days. Like yes, they have some meaning to them, yes they're they're an opportunity to celebrate something like the birth of our Lord, you know, those kinds of things, but they are just another day. The Bible doesn't give us directives on how to do these holidays and that we need to be observing them. These are actually not biblical ideas at all. We celebrate biblical things during them but they're not necessary, they're not required, they're not a thing that the Christian must do to be a Christian. So just having that mentality of like okay, my expectation is this is another day and we're gonna celebrate Jesus and we're gonna celebrate Thanksgiving. But are our expectations above and beyond what they need to be? Are we setting too high of expectations or are we being real and saying okay, Lord, like I want to be so like low on my expectation. Not low. I use the word light because it's not low expectations. It's not like you don't have to have expectations. You can have expectations, you're just saying they don't need to be so lofty that they're almost unattainable. Because the problem with that is, let's just be real for a minute, if you had these high expectations and let's say your kids get sick or your husband's running late or whatever, how is that gonna dictate your attitude or are you gonna lash out, are you gonna be frustrated, are you gonna stomp around the house? And I'm using this because I've done it before. I'm just recognizing like why expectations can be so dangerous in someone's heart when they're not met. Well, and then asking ourselves where the expectations are coming from. So our expectations usually come from one of two places, external forces or internal ones. Is it an expectation that I put on myself for this holiday like oh, I want everyone to know that I've got it all together, that this is gonna be amazing, that they're gonna all be taken care of by me either as the husband or the wife, like whatever their expectations are internally. Or is it external? Oh, my in-laws are coming and they're gonna be expecting an extravaganza, they're gonna be expecting me to have it all together, and there's lots of other reasons. My friends or my social media accounts, like what they see from my family. But even then like even though those are external places, that still comes from an internal place because those people might not even be thinking what you think they're thinking. That's true. There are all these expectations that we have, they're internal motivations of like oh, I don't want to look this way or that way or I do want to look this way or that way. And those aren't good things. Those are so unhealthy and they're dangerous and we do it in many, many, many areas but they often rear their ugly head in a season of heightened expectation and respond, and things that are drawing us. Yeah and I think that's where the chaos comes from. A large chunk of it, the stress comes during the holiday seasons from these expectations. Yeah, well, and we have to remember that, like I was just saying, these holidays are not things that the Bible's insist you did and called us to remember. Like the Bible tells us to remember the Lord's Supper and to remember what Christ did, right? Yeah, are we even doing that? Yeah, like which is a good thing to implement, like hey, we should do this with our family as a tradition. But these holidays, man, the world has been so good at impressing on us necessity for things. Like oh, if you don't participate to this extent, oh, you're not a good person or you're not a good Christian or you're not, you know, you must not love, you know. But that's wrong. Like I hate commercials because they, something I didn't need, now all of a sudden I need it. Right, and they make you, that's what marketing is about. Doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing but how it influences us and how we drive, you know, making our house look a certain way and the presents and all the things that we don't just lay on ourselves but then the society and the world lays on us also to participate in. We actually can think differently about it. It doesn't have to be a huge thing to us, it doesn't have to be a big heavy. And I know people are gonna be like well, what's the big deal about Christmas, I like celebrating it. I'm not saying don't celebrate things. I'm saying understand where a lot of our drive and motivation comes from and oftentimes it's from internal insecurities or expectations and external forces pulling you along and saying this is what you must do and how you must think and what you must be. Again this goes back to my Scrooginess that people have called out. Like I just don't like feeling like one day a year is the day of gift-giving and that's how we celebrate. Right? My thought is like well, if you love people, aren't you gonna like give them gifts in all different forms throughout their whole life? And like your life is gonna want to serve them and love them and be generous to them? And what's funny is the Bible tells us to love our enemies and to pray for those that persecute us, so we have this idea of like giving to those who don't even deserve to be given to by us. And it's just, I'm kind of ranting now but having just the right expectations and this just goes into the next thing we're going to talk about is having a sober mind as a family about the holidays, which is everything I'm getting to right now. You know, the fact that we may be able to celebrate any day in relative health, with food, with our loved ones, is a humongous blessing. Yeah, and we should recognize that. We should be thanking God for that and honoring him and showing him our appreciation for even the simplest of things that he's already given to us. Yeah, I think about that scripture in Proverbs that says a house full of feasting and yet with strife is not as good as a house full of peace with a little food. Like you can have this huge feast and all the presents and everything beautiful. And all the family drama that goes with it. And all the drama and frustrations and anger and fights and bitterness and all the weird stuff that goes on, and that's not good. I don't want any of that. I'd rather have like a few morsels on the table and we're all loving each other and talking about the Lord and serving others and we're healthy, you know? And that, like praise the Lord. You know, so a sober mind. How often do you do you think that way? Cuz like this season just makes us think about a lot of other things. Yeah, I'll be honest, I get really distracted by what you mentioned earlier which is expectations and like how I view a certain day or week or entire season should go and the things that I want to do, the things I want to teach my kids, the experiences I want to have. You know, some of my expectations and I don't know if those listening will agree or can relate to, but some of my expectations come from wanting to recreate my own childhood or things that I thought were really fun and-- To give to our kids. To give to our kids and to share those memories with them or build new ones around those ideas or experiences, which isn't a bad thing at all but sometimes I'm so consumed with that that I do miss out on these other really important things like just being thankful for all the simple things that God's already given to us. Yeah. Well, and then like you mentioned something about recreating or creating new traditions and which traditions can be good in a home, as long as we're not like relying on traditions, but you know, I was thinking like sometimes we look at other people's lives and like look at the traditions they've got and like oh, that's so special. And doesn't mean we can't glean from other families and like oh, I'd love to implement something like that. But then we again, we put something on our shoulders, and be like oh, unless we do that, we're failing our children somehow or-- Or this isn't the holiday that I wanted. Yeah and I just, I don't think that's a very sober way of looking at any day of our life. You know, I'm worrying about tomorrow when today's got enough worries of its own, right? And I feel like the best family traditions, the healthiest traditions, especially ones that are wrapped in the gospel and in the Bible and knowing God, come naturally as we serve God and seek Him and as his desires come out of us because what happens is generosity, right? We start training that because that becomes, that's a part of what we are because God's generous, we love to be generous, so instead of about getting, it's about giving and that just becomes a tradition in our home naturally. What are some other ways that we can think soberly about this season? Well, we say it all the time but it's walking in the spirit and intentionally walking in the spirit during these times. That's really gonna keep the stress and chaos and conflict out of the home. Yeah. I would say, and the reason we bring up so much, I actually believe that the core of being a Christian outside of believing in God, in Christ, and him crucified, right, is walking in the spirit. Because when you walk in the spirit, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. And against such things there is no law. It says like when you walk that way, you're walking in perfect harmony with God, right? And so no matter what's going on in the world, in our home for the holidays, if we're walking in the spirit, it's a good thing. Our kids are gonna glean from that, it's the best gift we can give to our children. It's the best gift we can give to our spouse. It's the best gift we can give to our neighbors. And the reason I always go back to this, it calls it fruit. The fruit isn't for the benefit of the tree, it's for the benefit of the eater, right? So if I'm the tree and I bear fruit, then everyone around me gets to eat the good fruit. You know, you get to enjoy my peace and my patience and my kindness and my goodness and my gentleness and my faithfulness and self-control. Those are all things that are good. Now they benefit me too of course but the purpose is everyone around me. So I feel like to think soberly like you said, walking in the spirit. Yeah. So going on to the next one would be no day's actually about us anyway. So I think sometimes when we set those expectations, it's all about us. When we try and plan and prepare and cram so much into the holiday season and we do everything we can, spin in circles to try and make it happen, we're doing it because we're trying to fulfill something, our own desire, and we have to remember that it's not about us. It's about the people that you're engaging with, it's about the kids that you want to experience these memories with, it's about the people at the store who are trying to check out all these other customers. And dealing with angry people and frustrations and-- If we're only focused on ourselves, we're gonna miss every opportunity that God has for us to do ministry, to love, and to reflect his light in their life. Yeah and again it's not even just about others, it's about Christ. Like what light are we being in the world during a season like this or are we just looking like everyone else? Are we also frustrated because that one thing I wanted or the line was so long or the traffic or whatever it is? Yeah, don't huff and puff your way through the holidays because-- Or being frustrated because you can't afford certain things or because, like there's that other spectrum of like maybe not be able to accomplish or do or participate in what you want. And still remembering it's not about any of that stuff. It's about Christ and are we being a light in this world? Yeah, this will also help in if you experience a family conflict like with aunts, uncles, grandma, grandpa, other siblings, other adults, like people who should be able to walk in maturity and just figure things out. We're not perfect and our flesh wants to fight sometimes, so if we were to just stop and realize that none of these days, this whole season, this whole life that we have is not about us, when we hit that wall or conflict with other people, other family members, if we walk in this and we remember that it's not about us, then we're usually more giving or serving to that other person and we can make things work, we can make it happen. And then you're being an example of God's love and light to them and hopefully they'll change too. Yeah, which is the point of this life as a believer. It's a point of a marriage after God is to be a light in the world. And so the last little point I want to, I threw this one on about having a sober mind is, and we talked about this in the finance episode we did, do not put stuff on credit. No. If you can't afford it, just don't get it. Change your expectations. Like no one's gonna hate you, right? Hopefully. But I promise you're not gonna regret not putting stuff on credit. Yeah or find another way to be, like if you really wanted to get someone a gift, be more thoughtful in like writing them a personal note, letter, or something on really nice paper. I mean, there's other ways around gift-giving without money. And letting them know that you love them. Yeah, so that was just a quick one. Don't put things on credit. Don't fall into that temptation. Just avoid it. Yeah, and if you are tempted, especially to fulfill like maybe your children and getting them a lot of gifts because when you were a child, you didn't get a lot of gifts, sometimes people wrestle with that. I would just think like your child's not gonna not like you or not love you because when they were younger, you didn't get them everything that they ever wanted. In fact, they'll probably, like we just shared about our favorite memories, they'll remember the time that you spent with them. Yeah. And they won't know what you don't get them, so that's a good thing. Let's go into the last part, this is the most important part. And it goes along with what we were talking about before the credit thing about remembering it's not about us. Yeah, that you have a ministry, your marriage has a ministry, the whole family has a ministry that God wants to do through you and I feel like during the holiday season there is so many opportunities to minister to other people and to just be that light in their lives. Yeah, God's antidote to our natural state of selfishness, because our natural fleshly state is to preserve ourself, and to serve ourself, and to feed ourself, and to bless ourself, and to love ourself, is to love and bless others. Is to turn things outward. And so use this season with your family as a marriage after God to bless and serve other people. That looks so many different ways. We have a few ideas. One of them we've done every year for the last 10 years, a long time. It's called Operation Christmas Child. And it's you get a shoebox and you fill it with some little goodies and what they do is they send them all over the world. And you can actually, if you do it right, they'll track it and say where your box went. And it goes to a child and every single child gets the gospel and they get prayed for and loved on by people that are giving these gifts. And not only are they getting a box of gifts that you gave them, they're getting the gospel. And this is a great one to do with your family or just your community, your church community, and just spend that time together talking about these kids that are gonna receive these gifts. Praying for them. Praying for them, teaching your children why it's good to be generous and I don't know, we've really, really loved doing this. Yeah and so that's a fun one. We're gonna do it this year with our church, we do it every year. And so that's one way. What's another way? So another one is be in prayer for your friends and family. So kind of like you said, praying for those kids that are gonna receive those boxes, make sure that you're praying for other people who are in your life and just love on them in that way. Yeah, practice with your kids. So we train with our children, we say hey Elliot, who do you wanna pray for? We'll give him ideas. You wanna pray for your friend? You wanna pray for your grandma? You want to pray for? And just be praying for those that don't know the Lord and pray for salvation for them, pray that God reveals himself to them and that Christians are brought around them to minister to them and love on them. Pray that you have an opportunity as a family to do that and have that be a core message, a core event, not just on the holiday but throughout the holidays, like every day. And then practice doing it all throughout the year. But use this as a season to specifically say hey, let's be praying for grandma and grandpa. They're coming out, they're gonna be around us, let's pray that we can be good examples and let's pray we can love on them and make them feel loved and blessed. So making prayer a main part of this season. That's good. So another one, we've talked a lot about food on this episode, but it's inviting people who you know don't have a lot of family around or maybe don't have any plans or maybe they're in need and inviting them over for a nice meal. To join your family, yeah. And make something for them and get them a gift and let them be a part and participate. Especially if you have friends that don't have family that are nearby, maybe they're gonna be alone. Don't let anyone be alone. Especially I was just thinking we have experienced this because we've traveled and we've been in places that-- When it was just us. We didn't have family around, when it was just us, and even now a lot of our family lives in California, we're in Oregon, and so we've done the Friendsgiving thing when our family didn't come in. I don't know, I just think it's such a loving way to share the gospel with someone. I mean, we've felt loved by it, we've experienced God's love and his truth come through this so. Yeah, so use hospitality as a gift you can give to others. Inviting them into your home, into your apartment, to be a part of what God's doing in your life. So the last thing is just, and we kind of had hit on this a lot. Well, and as you do these things that we're talking about as far as blessing people, you'll fulfill this role. Yeah, just use this holiday season as a very intentional time to teach your children and yourselves. To be honest, I need to be reminded of this stuff and taught it and practice it. To be generous and giving and to have hearts of service. So do your neighbors need anything? Is there any way you can bless them? Maybe you can bring them groceries. Maybe it's like baking them a pie and bringing them a card. So using this season to be very intentional about teaching our children, ourselves, about generosity, about service, and about being outward focused. And I think that's the best way to get our minds off of ourselves, to get our minds off of our own anxieties and stress and worries about this season and what it might mean, and make it about other people. You know? And doesn't mean we can't enjoy it and have our own things. I'm just saying the main focus and just how do we operate as a marriage after God. And I think those things are the best way to have a stress-free holiday season. Yeah, and it's what we all want, like we all desire to be able to enjoy this time of year and spend it with our families. And so I think that one of the reasons why we wanted to just talk about this today is to encourage you guys to check your hearts, talk about it, talk about your expectations, talk about the things that you hope to do or the family that's gonna be in town, and just pray. Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray with your spouse about all of it, pray with your kids for other people, find ways to be generous. I mean, all these things that we talked about, like Aaron said, it's to get our hearts right before God and right with each other and I think that if we do that, it does eliminate so much of that stress and chaos. It brings peace from God into our lives. And so as we come to a close, I just want to ask you to sit down with your spouse and as a couple ask God, God, what do you want for us this holiday? What do you want to use our family for as a marriage after God? And so we love you guys and we thank you for joining us and we'll see you next week. Did you enjoy today's show? Find many more encouraging stories and resources at marriageaftergod.com and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

TiVo sponsored TDF in June. My friend Andrew solmssen @aolmssen on twitter, has had TiVo from the beginning. He gets his TiVo accessories at WeaKnees in Culver City, so Michael Adberg came over. We talk TiVo, tech and then more TiVo and tech. It's pretty sweet. Enjoy. After the show Andrew set UP my TiVo (which I didn't conciously have as an evil plan... but it worked OUT!) and now I'm recording, via TiVo over-the-air television via our uber rabbit ears. And watching Netflix and Youtube on my TV thru them too. yay. is the podcast network that that TDF is with and you should go there and check out a lot of other, great, podcasts. NOTES: I'm not linking every techy things that Andrew mentions - but here's the VHS Supreme Court case: Michael's TiVo retail and service store in Culver City is Dungeons of Doom is the Mac Classic game I speak of and have not found an emulator yet. Feel free to email me that info if you find it - jackie@jackiekashian.com Talk about the show on the fb group page Donate to the show on and/or .  Everyone should donate $100 a year. Cuz I'm working over here. If you have - THANK YOU. If you haven't cuz you don't have $100 a year... fine. Tell everyone you love the show. You can get merch for your hundy if you want. On my website store page - t-shirts, CDs and Hoodies. Live TDF and standup schedule are also there.  You can also use the banner on my website to GO to Amazon when you get stuff from them. I get a kickback. Doesn't cost you anything. I've been typing forever but thanks for listening, follow me on twitter, review the show on iTunes and take care out there, jackie

Our first show of 2010 - w00t! That was leet for "woot". Cuz I'm so elite.