Podcasts about lamest

The Long Requested Paul Cauthen Interview is HERE!We sat down with Paul to talk about his wild road to his major label debut. We talk the grind of touring, his love of Texas, his admiration of Post Malone, working with Diplo, & how his new single "Hot Damn" came to be. All time great dude (29:35).We also review Taylor Swift's new album and ask the important question: Why is everyone so afraid of Taylor Swift? We also get into Drake's AI Tupac diss, Coachella weekend 2, Billie Eilish's weird interview, & so much more. LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE!

In this one, we start out by praising Scottie and Nelly for the HEATER they are on. Next we talk about everyone's first round. Lastly, we discuss golf's lamest things like walking down a hill with your cart and showing up late for your tee time.

4 - 23 - 24 LAMEST THING TO CHEAT AT by Maine's Coast 93.1

We're back with Season 2, Episode 58 of Club 520 where Jeff Teague and the guys discuss the upcoming NBA playoffs where Jeff Teague predicts Kevin Durant and the Phoenix Suns will UPSET Anthony Edwards and the Minnesota Timberwolves in the first round. The guys make their picks for the rest of the 1st round series in the NBA playoffs, react to the passing of OJ Simpson, debate whether LeBron James should retire with the Cleveland Cavaliers instead of the Los Angeles Lakers, and much more. 00:00 - Introduction02:00 - OJ Simpson passed away12:03 - Danny Hurley turned down Kentucky13:10 - Drummond Craig alley oop13:45 - Kentucky transfers to Arkansas18:00 - Zach Edey to the Pacers19:20 - NBA Playoffs20:30 - Kevin Durant and the Suns21:30 - Luka vs Clippers23:20 - Eastern conference27:30 - LeBron back to the Cavs?!29:00 - Bron statue in Miami31:50 - Terrell Suggs33:00 - Ice Cube + Players Club38:00 - Lamest movie characters39:00 - Buff Bagwell41:45 - Russell Simmon's daughter48:40 - WWE50:30 - Bridges apology52:30 - Jeff moving back in with his parents in Indiana56:00 - Michael Porter Jr. #Club #VolumeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

(00:03:07) Regulierungsversuch von TikTok in USA https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/08/us/politics/biden-tiktok.html https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/07/business/tiktok-phone-calls-congress.html https://www.tagesschau.de/wirtschaft/technologie/tiktok-instagram-meta-wachstum-user-reels-influencer-100.html (00:09:40) Instagram überholt TikTok als die meist heruntergeladene App https://www.tagesschau.de/wirtschaft/technologie/tiktok-instagram-meta-wachstum-user-reels-influencer-100.html https://www.campaignlive.com/article/meta-enjoys-record-adspend-tiktok-faces-39-engagement-decline/1863539 https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/5/24091278/congress-tiktok-bytedance-ban-divest-bill https://www.reuters.com/technology/new-push-congress-ban-tiktok-or-force-chinese-divestiture-gains-steam-2024-03-07/ https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2024/01/what-i-learned-selling-a-used-pencil-on-tiktok-shop.html (00:21:17) Wie Apple mit “Malicious compliance” versucht die europäische Regulierung zu umgehen https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/4/24005938/european-commission-antitrust-apple-investigation-anti-steering-rules-app-developers https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/06/technology/apple-epic-games-feud.html https://www.notebookcheck.com/1-8-Milliarden-Euro-Apple-beschimpft-Spotify-nach-EU-Strafe.809829.0.html https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/08/apple-reverses-course-approves-epic-games-for-app-store-in-europe.html https://developer.apple.com/security/complying-with-the-dma.pdf https://archive.ph/2024.03.08-205632/https://www.wsj.com/tech/apple-reverses-ban-on-fortnite-maker-in-eu-ceadbfbc (00:33:17) OpenAI äußert sich zu Musks Klage https://openai.com/blog/openai-elon-musk (00:40:09) Neue Modelle bei Anthropic und Inflection AI https://youtu.be/ReO2CWBpUYk?si=rG3NRfo2lVCO19Ad https://pi.ai/discover Außerdem: TripoSR von stability.ai - 3D rendering von Objekten Perplexity AI unicorn, Adobe Firefly auf dem Smartphone (00:41:41) Der KI generierte und entdeckte Wirkstoff von Insilico Medicine erreicht Phase II der klinischen Studien https://venturebeat.com/ai/insilico-medicine-unveils-first-ai-generated-and-ai-discovered-drug-in-new-paper/ Künstliche Intelligenz auf der Spur des Lebens https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/10/science/ai-learning-biology.html (00:55:16) Lamest spying of all times: Google Mitarbeiter spioniert für China und lädt die geklauten Informationen in das persönliche Google Drive hoch… https://www.businessinsider.com/google-engineer-ran-secret-startup-china-stealing-ai-tech-doj-2024-3 (01:00:33) Buchempfehlung Burn Book von Kara Swisher

Joel reveals the 'unorthodox' method one couple from North Carolina use to deal with their arguments and can't help but cringe. So, we opened up the lines and asked listeners to tell us all about the lame couple things they do. Tim and Joel also reveal how they deal with arguments. Follow us @rickileetimandjoel!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Here's what's happening today: Election night results-via NY TimesKyrsten Sinema is out-via CNNA full transcript (with links) is available at kimmoffat.com/hwh-transcriptsAs always, you can find me on Instagram/Twitter @kimmoffat and TikTok @kimmoffatishere

SPEAK ON IT with calls - What's The Lamest Excuse You've Used Or Heard?

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Do we really need a Christian Gaming Platform? TruPlay is going to find out. Pastor admits to selling $3.2M in worthless cryptocurrency to Christians. Who is worse? The pastor that steals from the flock? Or the flock who take investing advice from a pastor? An Ohio church is suing a city over not being allowed to house homeless people. What's the point of being a church if you're going to give the middle finger to the city and your neighbors? You can only heal the things you admit are broken. Join us in our mission and get ad-free episodes by becoming a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/churchislame. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine trying to move a wedding due to your commitments to the Dungog Festival... Turns out you don't have to because it's on the list!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Click to Subscribe: https://bit.ly/Youtube-Subscribe-SoapDirt General Hospital has several unresolved crimes linked to Anna Devane (Finola Hughes) including a shooting at the Metro Court, hotel room vandalism and her house being burnt down/ Plus, seemingly unrelated to her is Austin Gatlin Holt's (Roger Howarth) shooting. A fourth potential crime has also emerged, involving a fatal hit and run on GH.  In a shocking revelation, Charlotte Cassadine (Scarlett Fernandez) confessed her crimes to Nina Reeves (Cynthia Watros), admitting to vandalizing Anna's home and trashing her room at the Metro Court.  However, she denied any involvement in the arson attack on Anna's house.  Now, we suddenly got a scene at the morgue where Anna's unseen nemesis Jameson Forsyth turned up dead and it feels like that's a wrap on the shooting and arson. So, did the ABC soap opera just tie up loose ends with a random dead dude and a hit and run? Is this sloppy writing or one more whodunnit to add to the pile of too many storylines happening right now on General Hospital. Visit our General Hospital section of Soap Dirt:  https://soapdirt.com/category/general-hospital/ Listen to our Podcasts: https://soapdirt.podbean.com/ See always up-to-date General Hospital Spoilers page at:  https://soapdirt.com/general-hospital-spoilers/ Check Out our Social Media... Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoapDirtTV Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoapDirt Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/soapdirt/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@soapdirt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soapdirt/

Need some Idiot time but shorter on time? Check out this segment from podcast episode 158! We've talked our favorite villians before. This week we talk some of the lamest villians in movies & TV shows + what makes a “lame” villain? Warning as usual for explicit language from us Idiots! Listen to us weekly on your favorite podcast platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, iHeart Radio, Vurbl, Goodpods, Podvine & more! Watch us on our YouTube channel & the B.O.S.S. Code Media Network! Show info can be found on our website: convincingidiots.wordpress.com Find show links on our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/ConvincingIdiots Email us at ConvincingIdiots@gmail.com. Enjoying the show? Consider becoming a Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ConvincingIdiots Or support the show from our main podcast page: https://anchor.fm/convincing-idiots YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@convincingidiots Show merch store here: https://convincing-idiots-podcast.creator-spring.com/ We hope we convince you to listen & subscribe! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/convincing-idiots/support

The time has come, and so have we. In one of the tightest episodes, we hit a platonic ideal of an episode at almost a flat hour. Murph and Bro tackle some indie sleepers and hits, and then tackle the Wii classic No More Heroes. Will we fall in love with the game or be frustrated? Is it possible to be both?Time stamps:Whatcha Playin'1:30 Dreamwild (2022)5:00 Raji: An Ancient Epic (2020)8:30 Inscryption (2021)13:00 Re:CALL (2023)19:00 Street Fighter 6 (2023)Variety Minute26:20 Jerk Protagonists in GamingGame of the Week42:00 No More Heroes (2008)

CLIP- Is jake going to the coolest or lamest bachelor party this weekend?

What's the lamest excuse to get out of work?, Rock band, Race Horse or Adult Movie? & more!

3 - 23 - 23 GIFT DISPARITY...WHATS THE LAMEST GIFT YOU GOT by Maine's Coast 93.1

Oh crazy Spencer. The 6th and final season of The Hills. Mostly my commentary on the podcast but you knowwww!

We try and decipher whether these stories happened while they were a little kid or drunk adult, We talk about our radars for the week, Dave's Dirt, & More!

We try and decipher whether these stories happened while they were a little kid or drunk adult, We talk about our radars for the week, Dave's Dirt, & More!

This hour we hear about the lamest celebrities you've ran into in Vegas, dating a person who always thinks they're ill and some news

In the show today:Max is a professional pimple popper commentator.Should Brian from Glenelg leave his partner after she spent $12,000 of their money on her shopping addiction? Your best and worst work perks.And, Ali analyses the latest MAFS offering. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is possession of classified documents the new cool trend in government? What would make the Doomsday clock more impressive and scary? Is the Green M&M going to start an Only Fans? Will Bridget's red coral impression save it from dying?For more content, including the unedited version of Dumpster Fire, BTS content, writing, photos, livestreams and a kick-ass community, subscribe at https://phetasy.com/Join our Substack: https://bridgetphetasy.substack.com/Dumpster Fire Podcast: https://dumpster-fire.captivate.fm/Buy PHETASY MERCH here: https://www.bridgetphetasy.com/----------------------------------------------------------------------Get the best hot sauce out there and support comic & Dumpster Fire writer, Dave Yates!HA HA Hot Sauce - http://hahahotsauce.com/----------------------------------------------------------------------PHETASY IS a movement disguised as a company. We just want to make you laugh while the world burns. Buy PHETASY MERCH here: https://www.bridgetphetasy.com/For more content, including the unedited version of Dumpster Fire, BTS content, writing, photos, livestreams and a kick-ass community, subscribe at https://phetasy.com/Substack - https://bridgetphetasy.substack.com/Twitter - https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bridgetphetasy/ Podcast - Walk-Ins Welcome with Bridget Phetasy https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/walk-ins-welcome/id1437447846 https://open.spotify.com/show/7jbRU0qOjbxZJf9d49AHEhhttps://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/I3gqggwe23u6mnsdgqynu447wva

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mens Room Top 10

It's divorce month so this hour we talk to a professional, see who had the lamest new years, and Klein shares his shame

We discuss our families interactions with famous people. We also have a discussion of the Lamest marvel and DC super Villains.

What You Need to Know is how lame the Lame Duck session is. For all of November and December, there are several dangerous public officer holders who are running government functions! What do I mean? Those officeholders who have been voted out or are retiring have several weeks of legislative session to keep voting and governing, but they are no longer accountable to the voters. This lame duck session of 2022 is particularly awful, and I'll tell you why.  Tristan Justice, Western Correspondent for The Federalist, talks to us about Musk's admission that Twitter ‘Has Interfered in Elections.' Elon has kicked off what he dubs the “Twitter Files,” and is systematically dumping documents that show old-Twitter's abuse of the trusty and safety systems put in place. Read all of Tristan's work at TheFederalist.com.  Andrew Crapuchettes, Founder and CEO of the pro-freedom job board RedBalloon.work, gives us an update on finding work in the world of wokeness. How is the job market reacting as Elon Musk reveals the “Twitter files.” Is this what employees were facing everywhere? Andrew breaks it down. Check out the job board at RedBalloon.work and share with other conservatives.  Wrap Up: The Fake News media has predictably gone crazy lying about what Trump says and demanding others agree with them. What actually shreds the Constitution is crooked elections, because you have people in power who don't deserve to be there. We cannot let them keep poisoning the roots of the Constitution!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chuck Zodda and Mike Armstrong are joined by Rachel Premack, FreightWaves.com, to chat about the ongoing negotiations between rail companies and potential rail-strikers. Elon Musk and Tim Cook apparently settled their differences during a meeting at Apple HQ. Killer robots are now invading San Francisco and possibly a city near you!

Predicting a 50% chance is basically saying you don't know. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articl... uneducatedeconomist.com uneducatedeconomist@gmail.com real mail P.O. 731 Astoria, OR 97103 Instagram uneducated.economist Patreon https://www.patreon.com/UneducatedEco... Want to buy me a coffee? https://www.paypal.me/meatbingo https://cash.app/$bingo503 https://venmo.com/code?user_id=211351... --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/youguysletmeknow/support

Caught Cheating: Lamest Excuse Ever

What's the LAMEST EXCUSE an EX has given you after CHEATING? - (r/AskReddit)

JD finds out about flat tires, Coach calls out cauliflower, and Davis plays chicken with a prick in a parking lot. 

Recapping season 3 episode 15 of LOST -- Left Behind.It's been a while! We're back to releasing weekly episodes as we make our way through the back end of the show. Thank you to anyone out there that was listening in the meantime and if you'd like to stay part of the discussion join us on twitter @GalaxyCouchPod or email us: galaxycouchinc@gmail.com

In this week's episode of The Snatchelor, Margo and Nicole recap the weekend, celebrate Nicole being done with school (!!), bond over their mutual hate for the NYC summer heat, and much more! Don't forget to follow "Snatchelor's Songs 2022" on Spotify to hear what we're listening to every week: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4lpFUKgC340awgYclVNsfn?si=319081be0aa94502 Snatchelor Songs: She's Alright - Zach Bryan Rich Man - Little Big Town In the Kitchen - Renee Rapp Keep it to Yourself - Clinton Kane She's Not You - Jake Scott Oklahoma Smokeshow - Zach Bryan

Who let the dogs out??? Somebody who should be publicly beaten! Our Summertime “Streak” continues as we rage on the summer hit songs that are absolute CRAP! We'll talk the latin “dance” that made our ears bleed for 2 straight summers, Marc's hatred of some stupid camp song that no one under 50 has ever heard, a dated 99' song with a fashion brand in the hook, the arrival of a Menudo graduate's solo career, and regardless of what the idiots of the world believe, life in plastic is NOT FANTASTIC! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theitlistpodcast/support

Listen below with the audio player or Click Here for complete show notes and video from the show. Feedback Voice Mail VM: Gary – Printed Circuit Boards VM: Gary – Trees and Fire QOTW: It's 2022, what shouldn't exist now? … Continue reading → The post Episode 676: This is the lamest title we have ever made first appeared on Technorama.

Hello and welcome back fellow High Risers! We have another industry information packed episode for you once again.Cy and Emily get right into it with a little cannabis business events recap from MJ Unpacked in New York to Lyft&Co in 'Trono' After that our hosts talk about the state of New Jersey's successful first month of adult use legal cannabis ($5 per week) amazing. Continuing on, the conversation stays on states news, where we learn that Delaware's current governor has vetoed a legalization bill — maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. Meanwhile The ocean state Rhode Island is fired up and ready to go with adult use cannabis, excited to hear about small but mighty sales to come out of there soon.Concluding, Cy and Emily discuss JW AM suing RIV and Samuel Adams getting into the beverages category by releasing an infused tea…so customers can enjoy tea parties more often.Thank you as always for streaming in to the High Rise, we look forward to serving up many more laid back, data backed conversations for you each week. Please remember to like and subscribe!https://www.headset.io/industry-reports/the-new-jersey-cannabis-market-the-first-month-of-saleshttps://grownin.com/2022/05/23/185-illinois-adult-use-dispensary-licenses-might-finally-officially-be-awarded-this-friday/https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/riv-capital-announces-receipt-of-application-in-connection-with-etain-acquisition-301553474.htmlhttps://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/the-boston-beer-company-introduces-teapot-a-new-line-of-cannabis-infused-iced-teas-301552330.htmlhttps://quartr.com

Toys sucked back then just as much as they do now. Today we look into the worst ideas companies had for children in the 90s today on Deep Fat Fried.

She really a 50 cent typa rapper it's sad moe and here's why?

|| Movie Rankings/Streaming Database: MovieRankings.net || Subscribe to our YouTube channel: youtube.com/lightscamerabarstool || BUY LCB MERCH: store.barstoolsports.com/collections/lights-camera-barstool || Welcome to VOLUME 025 of THE BRACKET, a Lights Camera Barstool show. In this episode, we decide THE MOST LAME MOVE. KenJac is in as host and he's joined by Coley Mick, Steven Cheah, Tommy Smokes, Feitelberg, Eddie, and Rudy. Join us as we go from 16 UNCOOL THINGS all the way down to 1! || Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/lightscamerabarstool || Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/LightsCameraPod || Follow us on TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdUh4sEV/

The Two Friends duo joins us at our HQ. We drink beers and ask them questions sent in by you guys. Their drink of choice.... Natty Light. 00:00 - Intro  04:37 - What Is the Lamest and Most True Cliché About Living in LA? 05:30 - What Was Your First Memory of Meeting Each Other?  07:17 - Who Beat Off First Successfully?  09:29 - Who Was the First to Try Alcohol?  10:28 - Who Has More Dirt on the Other Person?  11:08 - What Is the Most Embarrassing Middle School Story? 13:26 - What Was the First Song You Made Together?  25:42 - Worst Set You've Ever Played?  31:18 - Best Set?  34:52 - What Originally Sparked the Idea of Big Bootie Mixes?  39:19 - Who's Your Favorite DJ?  40:24 - How Do We Know Each Other?  43:10 - What Friday Beers Characters Do You Identify As?  44:23 - Banana Boat?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to a listener's suggestion, Kelly and Kelsie celebrate the halfway point of season six by ranking the lamest unsubs we've met so far.