Daily Kos Radio - Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have all sorts of new things to tell you and each other! In Florida, Oliver G. Gilbert III wins the Democratic primary. He will now go against Te Brown, who completely denies her resemblance to any wanted posters you might have seen. Dem Annie Andrews leads Gop Darline Graham in polls. It'd be embarrassing if she didn't. The only worse candidate to lose to would be Ken Paxton, so awful and lazy that he would need Texas to ban voting in order to win. Why just cripple voting in Texas? Destroying mail-in voting destroys voting, period. Walmart Moms have been determined to not like high prices, AI, and corruption in government, unlike, well, no one. Democrats are enthusiastic to vote. Ed Markey, older than Trump and/or dirt, is still regarded warmly. Dems are in such a strong position that one could be in a predominate position performing in the weakest, dumbest way imaginable and still not budge the midterms. Mike Johnson can support Max Miller because it's hard to make Gops look worse. Anyhow, it isn't like Max is abusing your family. Republicans blame the backlash on data centers on AI. Be the envy of your neighborhood, put a data center in your backyard! Gops rush to install data centers before the bubble bursts or they lose their job, whichever comes first. Tractors, trucks, trains, ships, and the economy run on diesel. Both parties make the easy decision to move any hard decisions about the budget until after the election. It turns out that focusing on deporting allowed more drugs to be smuggled in. Also, secret employment of social media influencers is an unlawful covert action. Who knew? Alejandro Betancourt made billions after he listed "Conspirator 2" on his LinkedIn page. Canada does not play by either mob, or pro-wrestling rules, confusing Donald, who's suddenly quite interested in bowling alleys, and having taxpayers pay for them.

David Waldman had so much that he wanted to tell you yesterday! Then, he remembered he had a show today that would be just perfect to fit those things into. Former Army Secretary Dan Driscoll believed in the rules, military protocol and America. So much so that he went directly to the President of the Unted States to describe the clear and present danger… Oh well. Sad, actually. a tragedy. Dan wasn't cut out for Pete Hicseth's troll army's crusade against cultures… and every nation in this hemisphere that Russia and China don't have dibs on. The real tragedy is that Dems will now need to tit for tat this down to the gates of Hell. Should "Purcell" apply to the federal government? Why, exactly, should SCOTUS care what you think? Donald K. Trump is set to do anything he can get away with, whether it helps him or not. Any unlocked door, he will go in. The U.S. Postal Service will be destroyed, because, it is right there, also because it will screw the election.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to help make Mondays less so. Google labels Lake Ontario as "Lake America", so that fewer sheep get lost. Donald K. Trump has some schemes plotted in case the midterms go too blue. We've warned you about all of them, but David's particularly Cassandra-esque prophesy of the "rogue clerk" might indeed come to fruition. Sure, it's complicated, but David likes them that way. Trump, however, is but a simple dotard, who might be planning to do simply nothing, or in the case of the USPS, keeping anyone from doing anything. SCOTUS might apply the "Purcell principle", if for some reason they forget which administration it is. Skip Trump, impeach his money. Is Natalie Harp the Monica Lewinsky Ken Starr Republicans have been waiting for? Are they hoping to make Jon Ossoff… Bill Clinton? Ossoff's opponent believes he is Barack Obama. Red states used to be the safe place to stow awful Republicans. Now the other Gop Mike (Collins) has a fascist twink on his hands. The other other Gop Mike (Rogers) is losing all of the Trump Muslims. It's hard to frighten people with Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed these days when Zohran Kwame Mamdani has look-alike contests in his honor. Jewish voters became Democratic by following their moral compass. Trump knows El-Sayed's lead is fake polling by illegal pollsters, reported by illegal reporters. Military leaders think Pete Hegseth might be leading them to Armageddon, as if he'd have a problem with that. Oh no! First Andrew and Tristan Tate, now Milo Yiannopoulos? Well, they do say assholes go in threes.

David Waldman, star of the Kagro in the Morning show for 15 years running, presents the Kagro in the Morning show. If wanted to attend the Congressional Space Medal of Honor presentation today, you missed it, probably because you weren't invited to that, or anything else Donald K. Trump is doddering to this weekend. That's ok, Donald pretty much ruins any event he attends anyway. Trump claimed a lake in his war with Canada. He can throw it on a pile with all the things he claimed in his Iran war. Canada plans to make this war hurt. Tariffs for one are tariffs for all. Trump has already found someone to blame if Republicans lose the midterms… so have Democrats. In prep for the midterms, the DOJ is hiring election integrity experts, just not experts in improving election integrity... or experts for that matter. The US plans to revoke 200,000 visas. They should plan for 200,000 lawsuits. White House construction almost caused Marine One to crash. That's why we need a ballroom. Hey JD! There might be some fraud down in Florida! 10 million dollars were laundered, cleaned of all culprits, yet all the bucks stopped at Ron DeSantis' desk.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin attempt a follow-up to my birthday show. RIP Tim Curry, an actor of incredible range… He even did the rock! If one allows improperly credentialed astrologers to post crap astrology, it diminishes the trust we all have in predictive artists, although some will assert that we now need more rather than fewer. For instance, Donald K. Trump loves the polls that love him, even as those polls are becoming harder to find. MAGAs don't want their Gops taking their cushion. A Gop going against Jon Ossoff in Georgia had a staffer who enjoyed swastikas, wearing KKK robes and calling himself a "twink fascist". There does seem to be a lot of that going around. The world's biggest AI data center is being built in Ohio, packing the power and resource waste of several big cities into the footprint of a single large town. Georgia Gop Gov. Brian Kemp loves his data centers and will not let them go. Bill Gates is beginning to feel bad about introducing everyone to their new AI overlords… I told you that if Dems didn't make an issue of Flock cameras, Republicans would, but did you listen? Multiple states will fight Trump's mail-in ballots restrictions. Texas has already suspended more than 1 million voters. Trump figures it's about time for his tickertape parade on his Iran war triumph, after he kills a some more dead guys. If Donald wins a few more wars, they will let him rename everything. If only Canada and others wouldn't make things so difficult! Can you guess what Canadians plan to do with Trump's tariffs and proclamations? The Navy sailor who jumped off the USS Lincoln is now facing disciplinary charges, while a woman raped is told it's a worker's comp issue. Some Secret Service officials must have done something horrific to be placed on leave. IndyCar officials now outrank government employees.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin join the world in celebrating my birthday. When buying me gifts, remember to type the word "KAGRO", because… it's worth a try. A much, much larger part of that world mourns the loss of Dolly Parton. And for good reason, Dolly had a lot going for her. Mourners go across the political spectrum, but it's pretty certain that she didn't. Donald ordered flags at half-staff, as every woman in his orbit for the last 40 years has paid to look like Parton, and as Dolly would tell you, it costs a lot of money to look that cheap. And now Tim Curry too! Many voters feel that there's a "uni-party" and that their vote does not matter. Supporters of Hakeem Jeffries say, "You ignorant morons don't understand the realities of politics and can vote Republican if you just want to be dummies." Maybe we are under the reign of Great Britain after all. James Talarico is ahead of Ken Paxton, according to polls. According to money, too. Jar Head Salsa tycoon/Jan 6 traitor/patriot Tom Smith finds himself nominated for his Michigan House district. Polling shows Dan Sullivan leading Dan Sullivan in Alaska. The Donald K. Trump midterm political convention will be about Trump, as is Lake Ontario, as is the John F. Kennedy Center. Natalie Harp is all about Trump. Pete Hegseth is eliminating every General not qualified to be a Fox weekend host.

David Waldman's not getting any younger, you know. In fact, he's about a day older than he was yesterday around this time, and a year older than the previous time we wished him a happy birthday. Happy birthday! Donald K. Trump wants to watch others lose more than he wants to win and has discovered that allies are much easier to ambush than enemies. Canada is perfect… because Canada is perfect. Perfect ally, everybody likes them, Trump has to ruin that. He needs them to be as miserable as he is, no matter how miserable we get. The weird thing is, Canada doesn't want to play that. They're supposed to take it on the chin, but they're skating in with their elbows up again. That's it… Donald is forced to go nuclear and change the name of one their bodies of water. Anger Trump further and he might come for their Club next. Trump purports to need his ballroom as the lid to his bunker, but looky here, there's an existing bunker only feet away! Maybe no one wanted to tell him about that one … Maybe they were saving that news for a forthcoming book. Goebbels, Campos, and Scavino might know much about art, but they know degenerate quite well, and hope to make a few bucks selling it, although attaching the Trump name to art hasn't been the biggest sell. John Ratcliffe, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, has popped up in Russia. You never know where an opportunity for collaboration can be established. Congress is finally getting mad about money, but holding onto their jobs might allow them to become more understanding.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring harmony to the chaos. WAR! Donald K. Trump has done all he can to provoke the most un-provokable neighbor a country has ever had. Now he has a new war to lose that America will continue to lose after he's gone. The US Navy continues to lose its war against Trump. The USS Lincoln sailors finally return home to their families, as long as their families haven't yet been abducted by ICE. Navy families evacuated from Bahrain remain stranded. Any of them returning home to Gary, Indiana will be greeted with familiar conditions. Loudoun County, home of KITM World Headquarters, have surrendered to their data center overlords long ago and might be becoming habituated, but in places like Ohio, the centers are now entering with AI and Flock(ish) cameras and an increasingly abusive and silly police state, which are all pretty much supported by Gops, though less so with MAGA, and hence are a midterms problem for Republicans. Democrats are in great shape… as long as they offer complex solutions to complex issues, never overpromise and above all, remain electable. Once the American public becomes fully educated to understand the nomenclature and internal structure behind government processes, Democrats should be a lock. Meanwhile, Dan Sullivan endorses Dan Sullivan to beat Dan Sullivan, who's no Danny Sullivan. Danny didn't win yesterday's finale of America's glorious semi sesquicentennial celebration but probably would have had if he started on the pole.

David Waldman packs our heads and sends us off for the weekend. Donald K. Trump's imperial push has found a bit of a sticky wicket in Iran, yet his war with the US Navy is going splendidly, with their surrendering the naming of an aircraft carrier to him. What were the chances of Pete Hegseth ever allowing some unknown DEI hire with a CRT name like Doris Miller making some boat woke anyhow? Trump's war on Washington DC is scheduled to make the rubble bounce this weekend with his Grand Prix. Sure, some delicate old stuff might get broken during the celebration, but that's because it wasn't made in America. The event will be followed by the first annual Running of the Bulls through the Smithsonian. Those smarties in Silicon Valley invented AI to destroy our way of life along with the economy but really, any dope with a rifle could do that in 5 minutes. There's fake polling, and there's fake vote.gov, but you really need to beware real government websites, because they're really out to get you. The Department of Homeland Security discovered 16,000 non-citizen voters in Nevada, or maybe 185 "potential" ones. Counting isn't their strong suit, and usually just gets in the way. Trump needs quick money for his projects because if they are slow, someone usually makes him give it back. Trump only stumps in states that clap for him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin inch open the Thursday news levee. Natalie Harp! How does she do it? How DARE we discuss Natalie banging that stud Donald K. Trump? Hey now! Natalie loves Donald like she would love any top executive, you know… in a "biblical sense"… which of course includes hiding in trunks, sleeping on the floor, and maintaining one's pants and any items therein. Heaven forfend any notion of "wifely duties"! Those, Melania can keep. Pete Hegseth's "Natalie Harp" is his wife, who knows better than to give Pete any leash. Wait a second. Is all this just a distraction from the important issues? Yep, but we have time for those also. Deportations and the economy are losers for Trump, as well as the candidates he is endorsing. Shock! Polls show that Republicans are behind in America's reddest states. Democrats reign victorious in hypothetical matchups, probably across multiple universes. No one wants to read a horoscope written by a false astrologer, and similarly, no one would want fake polling, unless they found a profit in it. The White House has its own fake vote.gov. You don't need polls to know people hate data centers, and the data they center from AI and Flock cameras, because all your friends will tell you all about it. Gops were a little slow on the uptake however because all their friends are investors, yet have recently begun to catch on, from Ohio, down to Texas. America's strategic oil reserve is so low that it might collapse our economy, but if it gets any lower it could collapse the salt domes used to store it.

David Waldman brings us more news and more thoughts about said news. Greg Dworkin brings his Raft O' Stories™, and an economy–sized bag of primary takeaways. In the Florida elections, it was a bad night for bad guy Cory Mills, who had Donald K. Trump's "Complete and Total Endorsement." Trump never did like him, now. Cory was just one of Trump's losers, with various carpetbaggers going down. Florida cleaned house, even the Sarasota school board flipped. Debbie Wasserman Schultz defeated all the black candidates in a new black district, because "electability", yet Angie Nixon beat Alexander Vindman for a Quixotic tilt at the midterms. Vindman losing is the only thing Donald remembers from the night. There was a near-total massacre for the Freedom Caucus in the Wyoming primary, and yet another Trump loser. In Pennsylvania, Dems flipped a Trump 18+ district, which had to hurt more than his ear. Gops need election deniers because Dems are going to be denying them elections. Everybody's pissing on data centers, and you know what, they have a point. Dems are missing a bet if they don't get behind the growing anti-surveillance movement soon. ICE and those who want to persecute anti-ICE are part of Flock's growing customer base. Flock isn't only useful to the budding Stasi agents in ICE, it's a great tool for ICE stalkers, sex criminals and child abusers as well. Compliant Technologies products are perfect for rapists, but also invaluable for those who need a record of someone fighting back recorded to their bodycams. Donald and Pete Hegseth are playing a game of Battleship, and both look like they are winning. Natalie Harp, how does she… Oh man, you do NOT want to know how she does it. The biggest proof that MAGA is a cult is that they actually believe that Trump is having sex with her.

Have you heard the one about the Navy running out of munitions? Have you heard the one about it being worse than the one I just asked you if you'd heard? Well, have you heard the one about how Trump says he was misled about it? If so, you'll be interested to hear the one about how the Pentagon has been warning about this for a year and a half. But maybe you did hear that one. From this show! Well, don't worry, Navy fans! Trump's got you covered. That is, if you consider adding the insanely stupid demand that US aircraft carriers move their towers to the existing insanely stupid demand that they return to the use of steam-powered catapults. Calling Armando! Mork calling Armando! Come in, Armando! It turns out that for at least one "pollster," the "secret sauce" is really The Emperor's New Clothes. Greg wasn't in today, but we've been talking about the CT-01 contest between John Larsen and Luke Bronin so often, I thought it might be worth reading up on at least one report from someone who says they do know what Larsen's been doing all these years. Trump robbed you with his tariffs. You know this. But it's important to point out that those tariff refunds are going to corporations... and no further. That means they were a huge wealth transfer from you to them. And the CEO class, generally. Almost as if by design? You also already knew that Trump threatened all federal funding to Colorado to get Jared Polis to free Tina Peters. But now you know that a federal judge knows it, too. What I didn't know was that Trump has a "Ballroom Goon." And that that Ballroom Goon keeps visiting Putin in Russia.

David Waldman is back again to help us plough through the mudslide of Trump chaos. Greg Dworkin somehow helps by towing in not one, but two Rafts O' Stories™, a plethora of polls, and an excrement of X posts. Polls are often wrong, usually worthless, yet are as valuable as horoscopes when their forecast contains flattery. BTW, Dems are ahead! All over the place! When it's policy vs. "electability", pollsters say their polls are polling great. Data centers poll lower than Thanksgiving. It's Centrist vs Progressive for the Democratic party, which wouldn't be a contest if it was on policy… nor is it a contest when it comes to electability. Gop policy on Medicaid would ruin their electability if anyone were to find out about it. As would their policies about anything, really. That's why Gops are concentrating on electability, especially on reducing Democratic electability, to offset their voters who lost faces to leopards. Gops want to make 2020 great again. Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani 势头! Donald K. Trump's war with Iran is going so well that he's thinking of making the Strait of Hormuz our 51st state. Donald wishes his war would just go on forever, especially for the Navy. It's too bad that the Navy's base in Bahrain was bombed. Maybe if we bombed Oman, it would fix it? Trump remembered that South Korea pissed him off that one time, so maybe he'll just let North Korea rough them up a little. After all, what has North Korea ever done to us? Donald can't have E. Jean Carroll's $5 Million. Shut up, Donald. Trump's mouthpiece Todd Blanche won't shut up.

David Waldman surfs into Summer Weekend Chaos™ on today's gnarly KITM. Donald K. Trump hasn't had a new thought cross his mind in decades. He has spent the last decade perseverating his past into our present. Magnets, how do they work? Don't ask Donald, he wants them returned back to steam catapults on aircraft carriers, as he just knows that they were always meant to be. Only saps say, "You gotta go with magnets!" Finland's president sold Trump icebreaking ships back in '92 and Donald finally has the big, beautiful billions to buy them. Having Trump's name uttered in the same breath as that of John F. Kennedy's is the primary, if not sole, objective of the Kennedy Center Board of Trustees. The Trump administration will never give up on hassling Lisa Cook at the Federal Reserve, no matter what the Supreme Court says. The Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel is looking towards the future, however, by declaring that Trump can assert executive privilege over any person he has ever talked to.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return with more insights and jocularity. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… Well, not Dems. They love to be scared of fear. Tuesdays, they desperately cling to polls, while terrified that those polls might betray them once again. Wednesdays, they see that their worst fears have been realized. Thursdays, they discover that it's actually not the poll's fault, it's theirs for valuing "policies and issues" with their candidates, when they should've instead been worried about their "electability"… but then panic as the only method of guessing the candidate's electability are…POLLS!!! Bum–Bum–Bummmm! You never see Donald K. Trump sweating the small stuff, or the big stuff. So what, a few of his staff take a missile for him? Whatever. He made sure all the "10"'s got out, didn't he? Anyhow, he was actually diverting the missiles towards himself in order to save the journalists… and Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket! The whole point of the Gop is to appoint foxes to henhouses, so you would expect a sex abuser and trafficker to get $244 Million to watch migrant children. Pete Hegseth transferred a contract from a black-owned company to a Trump donor, marking it up 325%. Harmeet Dhillon swore in more than 100 Civil Rights lawyers but then forgot to mention who they were.

Would you like to hear about yesterday's primaries? If so, you've come to the right place, KITM, with the right people, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, to satisfy all your post-primary cravings. In Connecticut, voters embraced change and sent warhorse John Larson out to pasture. In Minnesota, the primary upended political assumptions in 6 ways, none of which are as fun as watching Mike Lindell (and Trump) lose. Mike, ever the crowd pleaser, plans to lose the election over and over again for the foreseeable future. In South Carolina, Darline Graham and Trump aren't yet losing but are now failing. In Wisconsin, it wasn't quite a progressive triumph, but almost, with Francesca Hong's last-minute plateauing and normie Dems flooding the polls. David Crowley might not like campaigning, but apparently, he seems to love holidays. Almost no one is as normie or as old as James Carville, yet he supports Abdul El-Sayed. On to the midterms, if we can keep them. Every slimeball is spit balling election subversion, including the Wad in Chief. The problem is that people hate trump, which in turn keeps boosting Democratic numbers. Also, election subversion tends to be illegal… as if hatred or illegality ever bothered Trump before. Election denier Cleta Mitchell granted DHS elections official Heather Honey a lot of money. A special grand jury might not find enough evidence to bring anyone to trial, but it will allow Jeanine Pirro and Trump to be incredibly catty. So far, Donald K. Trump has been able to stuff 5 scandals into his "Air Force One" Scandal, but there's always room for plenty more!

While busy with rehearsals and last-minute staging to prep for tomorrow's The G. Dworkin Post-Primary Hour in Review, David Waldman had a few moments to share his thoughts on recent events. Attending the NATO summit in Turkey, Donald K. Trump bailed on his pimped-out Qatari 747 to ride home in his official 747… Psyche! They actually loaded Trump into a catering container (which should be a devastating health code violation) and onto an Airforce jet! The big question remaining is which journalists will go to prison for reporting this? Trump's staggering vanity project cash grab has been exposed… well, another one of them. This one routes national park money into gold-plated helipads and deluxe toupees. Once they were rid of Erik the Red, Greenland believed that the threat of being raped and pillaged was gone forever. Unfortunately, Dr. Phil has come ashore. Could Mike Lindell be far behind? Who knows what stupid evil awaits? Marsha Blackburn won her primary against that ever-present threat of Tennessee commies. Now, like the president, Marsha believes she's entitled to fill her own seat. Trump can thank the appointment of Bob Mueller for taking the heat off him on his Russian ties. With new tactics, ICE reaches a new high in monthly arrests, because they don't have quotas in convictions or deportations. Todd Blanche was sworn in by Emil Bove in the Oval Office because whoever's in charge has a really dark sense of humor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return from a chaos weekend that was a little quieter now that Donald K. Trump is getting his pants steamed regularly. Not to say things are "better"… or even "good", it's just that the wall of reality might be rising too high for Trump and Gops to toss feces over. The US lost Trump's war with Iran and also Iran won their war with Trump. Sadly, this happened because Democrats did not clap hard enough. Iran might allow us to retreat, if we retreat from the Strait of Hormuz, yet thousands of sailors and Marines are still stranded on the USS Lincoln. Israel wants no advice from Trump on how they should lose in Gaza. The cost of living, job losses, immigration crackdowns, and data centers will be a big deal for the midterms, but candidate style matters, too. Maine Dem Troy Jackson points out the obvious about Susan Collins, so that even Democrats dumb enough to vote for her can understand. Reality just might catch up to somebody on the reflecting pool fiasco. Jeanine Pirro? Doug Burgum? Nah, and definitely never Trump. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and might have finally removed Andy Ogles. Donald definitely has a type, and Stephen Miller will have Will Scharf competing with him for attention in the Oval Office. Gop election denier Mike Rogers somehow finds nothing objectionable about his primary win yet is predicted to be quite skeptical about Abdul El-Sayed's future progress. Boom! Emptywheel embraces the low-attention span types that she famously eschews in order to describe how the DOJ invoking Trump v. US to protect Todd Blanche's fixer, Aakash Singh.

David Waldman eruditely dumps the Friday KITM at our doorstep. They're takin yer jerbs! Ballrooms, arches, Iran, and ICE will not be making America great again. Not having a job makes buying groceries tougher. The bros over at DOGE wouldn't know that, as they just moved out of their parent's basement, and have no need for real life. 200,000 jobs in Mexico are at stake as the US suspends avocado inspections. The Trump Administration repeatedly admitted in Court to withholding money from Blue States. Yeah, sure, what are you going to do about it? Surrender is close at hand in Donald K. Trump's Iran war as his stockpile of dupes dries up. Iran could take the war to the US water supply, but who cares about that? Russia was hoping to attack NATO after the Ukraine war, but it's just taking forever. Max Miller is putting $1 million of his own money into his campaign. The only election news better than that is that the usually awful voters of Tennessee voted out their unusually awful Congressman Andy Ogles. I bet this is the worst timeline. You can now bet on arson, and childhood cancer.

David Waldman brings us to Thursday, by more or less being at the right place at the right time. The Senate has been busy, finalizing a stopgap funding bill to move the shutdown to hopefully a different Senate. They also launched an entire network of fake news and have only begun to hassle Dr. Anthony S. (Science!) Fauci. Greg Dworkin rolled up his sleeve and reached deep into a slimy cyclosporiatic orifice of ex-Twitter and pulled out some fresh polls for you. They're oh so tasty and probably won't make you sick later. Also, some Poindexter is suddenly ahead of Max Miller in Ohio, which is good, as Miller sucks. Remember, vote BLUE no matter… who now? Abdul El-Sayed? Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed? Well… good thing we live in a post-racial... we don't? Oh well, that name thing sure worked against Amir Hassan, who was backed by Donald Woke Trump. Today, the words "El-Sayed" pleasantly roll off the tongue of lots of happy Democrats, and many disgruntled ones too… who all need to pull it together now to make this happen. Will he win? El-Sayed is pulling his weight, let's see his support. What's in a name? Ask Elaine Luria. No, Elise Stefanik… No, Elissa Slotkin. She's the young up and coming… down and going establishment Dem, right? Now Ronald Lauder. That name used to mean something. But now that he's no longer writing it on checks, who cares? Sean Duffy, like his boss, understands that in the media production biz, getting and spending money is the best part of the creative process. Releasing a product only invites criticism, and who needs that? A few months back, Border Patrol stormtroopers shooting their laser guns into the air were able to hit a kid's party balloon yet were able to rack up more fatalities jamming the GPS of a medevac aircraft. More recently, Marine One lifted off without proper permission but luckily did not need to shoot down any passenger jets in order to do so.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin team up to fight the forces of injustice, chaos, and general stupidity. Has Jeanine Pirro been sent to the bottom of the Donald K. Trump Kafka Khaki reflecting pool yet? Jeanine might have bought herself some time by literally carting over evidence to force the old man to look at before it's shipped to some undisclosed bathroom. Democratic voters are tired of focus-group establishment Dems, and moderate Dems are already tired of crazy progressives. And yet, temporarily arrayed, they could be quite powerful heading into the midterms. Of course, they are blessed with Trump. His usefulness as an idiot is waning with even the Gops, and you don't need to tell independents twice to stampede in a new direction. In Michigan, Abdul El-Sayed outperformed his name, and the establishment, to win his primary. Trump's candidate lost to a guy that stopped campaigning weeks ago. Missouri usually isn't too big on Democrats, but they still prefer democracy. The Kansas Supreme Court would look nice in DC. Texas also embraces voting and rejects phony voter fraud voting suppression. Not that election denialists are going anywhere soon. In fact, some are completely refusing to leave. Republicans are beginning to think that God is rigged against them. Climate has changed to the degree that the Danube River has receded back to the time when wooly mammoths and Nazi soldiers roamed the earth, leaving live ordnance in their wake. Donald was sad to hear kindred soul Max Miller must bear such vicious accusations, but such is the burden great men carry.

More primaries! David Waldman weaves a new KITM ahead of post-primary Wednesday. What's the worst thing Trump can do in the midterms? Well, if Mike Pence has the courage… Why did 50-60,000 refugees attempt to cross into Spanish-held Ceuta all at once? Were they a fake migrant caravan weaponized flashmob manipulated by the far-right? It's uncertain, but MAGA's taking notes, and probably wishes ICE left enough Haitians in Springfield to try it. When some aim high, a Texas Gop candidate aims low.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take on a new day, week, month, and the same old chaos. Donald K. Trump won his 43rd club championship at one of his courses. It's called TALENT, and money. You know Donald. Always bullshitting. You know he is, he knows he is. Leave it there, you're cool, but call Trump on it and you have a fight. Because, admitting he's wrong just isn't part of the game… and not playing along can lose you a job, send you to prison, or worse. Capital One was playing along, but Trump wouldn't walk away, could not shut up, and Capital One quit playing. It made absolutely no difference if Todd Blanche formally rescinded Trump's J6 slush fund, which is why Blanche did it. Gops are playing along with that, but Trump doesn't play along with anybody's bullshit but his own. Dems are strongly favored to take the House, and maybe the Senate. Abdul El-Sayed's name might not be enough to keep voters from scratching in the bubble next to it. Low-turnout voters might not turn out. Indecisive Democrats aren't sure what to do. Gop staff is filling up with young Groypers. The Evangelical Church is filled people who are Christian as an afterthought.

You say "Friday news dump" like it's a bad thing? Not when it's David Waldman and KITM! When Donald K. Trump isn't grifting money, extorting money or panhandling for money, he's stiffing people for money. You can't buy that sort of focused dedication. Todd Blanche could be attorney general today if he'd only pinky promise to never ever implement Trump's $1.8 billion slush fund/slop trough for fellow right-wing swine. At least the slush fund pretended to be a cap. AI companies are the central pillar of the economy, but they are trying to hide a staggering amount of debt. So, when one of their super-genius wunderbros dropped his $45 billion into the toilet, his toilet got immediately bailed out by his AI billionaire brethren. Bailing out their Titanic one stateroom at a time at the moment remains a brilliant idea. I In an idiocracy, not everyone needs to be an idiot, just the ones in control. The United States government map of Africa on display at a global conference was apparently designed without reference material not supplied by Toto. Trump busted Tina Peters out of the pen, she's already paying him back. Biological warfare enters Trump's war with Iran, as usual it's a self-own.

David Waldman has the news! Greg Dworkin has the polls! Voters disprove of Donald K. Trump. Let us count the ways: Lowest approval of either term. Low on his war. Low on his economy. Lowest for independents. Low on white, non-college, males. Trump doesn't have a problem with any of that, but midterm voters seem to care a lot, as just about everyone's polling is tilting left. Of course, the election isn't today, there's plenty of dummies out there, and even Barack Obama can't set them all straight. Meanwhile, Dems like Matt Schultz can't find the money to run against Gops like The Master's Academy alum Nick Begich III. Then there's those Progressives, or Democratic Socialists, or whatever they are calling themselves today, out there disarraying everything, protesting all their data centers and flock cameras… Hippies! If a guy named Abdul El-Sayed can run for Senate, times might be changing… or might not. Maybe they can't figure out the ballot. Ohioans around Springfield can't wait to move into those sweet big Haitian houses and high-pay Haitian jobs that were stolen from them. In the meantime, their old neighbors and friends will just have to die. Either Secret Service professionals actually determined that James Comey planned a hit on Trump, or they just felt like hassling him. Most start measuring the drapes before they get to DC. Trump can't stop. Donald wants to show off his latest several billion-dollar pretty thing he created, you know, the same way bosses always "create" things. It will have the WORLD'S LARGEST GARAGE, and eliminate "mobile lounges", no doubt because their update would have been electric.

David Waldman helps haul in Greg Dworkin's usual Raft O' Stories™, which was light on primaries, but had Plenty O' Polls™! More people like Donald K. Trump less than ever! The fact is, most Americans don't approve of awful people. Most Democrats are not awful people, so this might work in their favor for the midterms, if they can fight their natural urge to disarray. The 2028 Democratic primary calendar favors progressives. Progressives are turning away from establishment media. Democratic voters are turning away from establishment candidates. Francesca Hong seems nice, and smart, and progressive, which seems like a good combo this year. James Talarico is all of those things, plus a few more, and Ken Paxton is none of them. Troy Jackson has, well, a couple of those attributes, which might just be enough. Abdul El-Sayed does not have Troy Jackson's nor James Talarico's name. Ohio does not have all of its marbles, but who knows this year… Everybody is NIMBYing away from data centers, so Trump will probably mandate them for blue states. Trump wants his Supreme Court to overturn his E. Jean Carroll settlement, as it says right in the Constitution that presidents cannot lose lawsuits. Trump has been too busy presidentially thumbing through material swatches for his Dulles International Airport makeover, which just might be the best use of his time.

David Waldman delivers a very Tuesday KITM. 100,000 Flock cameras are watching you, soon to join cameras inside your car to track, monitor, and interpret your every movement, everywhere you go. We all know that if you cooperate with authorities, you won't get hurt. However, some still object to being Flocked without consent, leading those people into rebellious acts against societal norms and authority, symbolizing their struggle for freedom… or they at least become a little more creative in their loafing. Knowingly choosing to violate laws disagreed with works out really well for friends of Trump. Good news also for mentally unstable pranksters. Swatting politicians, especially a gay father like Pete Buttigieg, turns out to be shockingly easy. Florida Senator Ashley Moody has been in the Senate only 18 months and has already funneled millions of dollars through a nonprofit into PACs, an achievement previously only dreamed of by Republicans accusing Tim Walz of doing the same.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to summarize the chaos of the weekend. I, in turn, summarize that into this tiny nutritious pellet for your consumption. The worst thing about White House Correspondents Dinner is that they feel that they have to keep telling us about it. The only news ever is its chronic persistence. The White House press corps could have stood up, but they came to sit down. Donald K. Trump told jokes, explained the jokes, then posted AI explainers of the jokes and the hilarity feels like it just might never stop. Laura Loomer is not Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna, or even Sid Rosenberg, but if she read it the internet, she would believe it. Once decided, Laura changes her mind less often than Donald changes his diaper, so it's a shock to see her come out for Ukraine. Tim Pool also flips on Ukraine. Must be something in the water. Bold and brilliant military strategists Donald and Pete ran out of ammunition and requested a time out. Pete Hegseth gets rid of generals faster than Vladimir Putin. Generic Dems lead, and Gop enthusiasms are gone, but as the midterms near it is expected that Republicans will be trying to destroy the elections and Democrats will try to destroy themselves. Their enemy, as always, are Progressives. Senate Gop candidate Mike Rogers is rooting for Abdul El-Sayed for a number of reasons, most of them obvious. The thing is, Black voters are also against El-Sayed. Maine has put the recent unpleasantness behind them and are now ready to decide the future of progressive populism for all mankind. The real enemy, as always, are political consultants. Political consultants want to make the past great again. California's primary vote count might have been slow, but 150 thousand voters were slower. People like voting by mail, though. Brazil worries about Trump rigging their elections. Blue state Minnesota burns because DOGE told them to "drop dead". People that Elon Musk doesn't think about simply do not exist… which sure gives you a clear idea of the future of "Universal Basic Income", doesn't it?

David Waldman empties his Pocket, Instapaper, and various messaging apps into today's KITM. Donald K. Trump sharpied out four casualties to his Iran War because everyone knows that deaths don't count when you are on a break. The Keystone DOJ took another pie to the face and will drop their subpoenas against New York Times journalists over their Air Force One reporting. John Solomon's plans to overthrow government for Trump are going badly, which does not mean that they will stop trying or that they will fail. Lindsey Graham died, and Trump grieved over his beautiful lost leverage. Darline Graham seems to have a mind of her own, but they used to say that about her brother, too. Chairman of the Federal Reserve Kevin Warsh picked up a $100 Million starting bonus to guarantee that he remains completely more impartial for some over others. In the latest Boosie Badazz news, the pair that conned Boosie (and others), Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl, have now signed on a new dupe. Jim Jordan accused Jack Smith of lying. No joke, that's the headline.

David Waldman offers us bite sized tapas of topics today: Olive Garden, when you're there, you're family, but even they demand ID from Republicans. The Tate bros might have thought the US was a haven for rapists, but the long arm of UK law finally caught up with them. Andrew wears capris… not too warm, not too cool. The House is going to try reconciliation, again, to bribe farmers, kill democracy, bomb… Mali, and maybe bring a smile to grumpy Old Donald K. Trump's face. Once again, police demonstrate the ease of handcuffing suspects after they shoot them in the head. Melissa and Mark Hortman's murderer gets a couple of life sentences. He shouldn't expect a pardon; Republicans forgot about him a year ago. Donald raped E. Jean Carroll. 30 years later he was fined… money! Nobody suffers like he does. Canadians will quietly open the Gordie Howe Bridge so as to not set off our president. Good luck on that! It looks like the people who think everything is rigged probably rigged the Presidential 1776 Award competition. Tulsi Gabbard's brother tried to lure kids up to his hotel room with gum and money. Those kids were not as dumb as he might have expected.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin got together again, and all was good and proper for about an hour this week. Well, 'ello, Gub'ner! Trump's Andy Biggs will contest gubernatorially against Cindy McCain's Katie Hobbs in Arizona. Dem Francesca Hong has broken into the lead in Wisconsin. Platner replacement Troy Jackson is ahead of Susan Collins for Senator in Maine with a winning message. Authenticity is so crazy, it just might work. It's now a Dem/Gop dead heat for the Senate in the generic… Of course, MAGA is ready to forgive a lot of Gop sins in their candidate, especially when the alternative is a Commie. Too bad Canadians aren't voting. Gops don't want to talk 2020 fraud in 2026, especially when it's their plan for election takeovers in 2028. Everything Trump touches dies. Or it tries to kill us. Or make others want to kill us. Or maybe wish death upon others. Even death is no escape from Trump assholery. Donald K. Trump art of the dealed the Sauds nukes. Maybe they'll give him something really cool. Trump's Iran war has cost $37.5 billion so far, but Pete Hicseth figures he can tie up all the loose ends for about three times that. Speaking of triple, that's how much Donald Trump Jr's investments in Donald Trump Sr.'s pet causes have increased in value in only months. OpenAI's AI facehugged Hugging Face servers, which is not good, man. The New York Times recognizes Denise Oliver-Velez. Larry the Cat knows how to treat the press right.

This whole week is getting f*#ked up by doctor appointments, man! Yesterday, it was Greg missing the show. Today, it was me leaving early for an appointment of my own. What's next? A dentist appointment?! Well, yes. But at least that one's "after hours." Limiting ourselves to one hour necessarily kept the number of stories covered way down. But things keep happening, regardless! Even if those things are stupid and shouldn't be happening at all! For instance, even though they've now drained the Reflecting "Pool" multiple times, revealing zero evidence (and destroying any that might have existed) of anything that could even remotely be portrayed as the "vandalism" Trump and administration officials keep blaming for the disaster, Jeanine Pirro is stuck for the moment continuing to (appear to) embarrass herself by going forward with baseless "charges." For those who were looking for a reminder that The New York Times still does important work and is capable of "getting it," today's front page story was a lengthy focus on Trump's "One Big Beautiful Bill Act" dropping nearly half a million people from SNAP programs in Arizona alone. And it's just getting started, because Medicare is next. But not until it will be too late to impact elections. Hey, remember that time Trump said he was going to send a hospital ship to Greenland pardon 250 people for America's 250th anniversary year? Yeah, well, that requires work, and Trump people don't do that. In fact, they're doing massive numbers of not doing it. New trend in American sports: If officials rule against you, threaten to call Trump. This should do wonders for the lives of Little League umpires. Anyone wanna buy a statue? Anyone wanna know why no one wants to buy this statue?

Chaos! David Waldman barely made it through today's KITM. Greg Dworkin called in to say he wasn't calling in. Then we lost our live feed because of the wildfires up north in… not where our Maniac in Chief is aiming his napalm, but at our telecommunications hub in Oregon, hopefully not too near to Justice Putnam! Those Trump buoys cause about as much trouble as Those Trump boys. Trump's Qatari 747 is going back to the shop to get "maxed out". Donald will be disappointed that doesn't include gold-plated wire rims. Trump airport needs more money from taxpayers before it begins kickbacks to non-taxpayers. Trump got one more jinx in before the World Cup finals. Donald left a moral stain on the entire event but dropped his biggest stink at Spain's World Cup celebrations, that he wanted to make the Trump celebration. That smell is the kind that lingers but can be scrubbed away with effort. Everyone booed either Trump or Gianni Infantino. Only one of them gives a damn. Somehow, Trump has not completely killed the SAVE act, while Congress and Senate take a few more whacks at it. Lisa Murkowski is more concerned about her state than Trump. There's another Vance today. There goes the neighborhood.

David Waldman delivers us safely to the weekend. Even he is not exactly sure how. It seems like everyone's trying the new "MAHA Blast" featured at Taco Bell and many other participating outlets… often by surprise. Those "Trump Trots" (Or just "The Trumps", if you are really in a hurry) are caused by exposure to DOGE Sh*t. The takeaway on Donald K. Trump's speech last night is to take it far away. To even address it at all is a form of sanewashing. Tommy Tuberville liked it though. Tell it to the judge, Donald. Back to the whole point of Trump's presidency: the grift. Trump promoted companies on Truth Social days after buying their stocks. He is now selling priority access to those stock tips, because why not? The DOJ is dropping charges against the cryptofraudster who made $722 million on the backs of idiots, as game recognizes game. Trump's teleprompter operator made $100K betting on Trump's speeches and that go-getter received a paid vacation. The DOJ also forced a judge to drop the Jan 6 case on Proud Boys. ICE Killer David Brouillette should have never been allowed near a gun and yet was issued one again and again. You need to record ICE atrocities because those guys with cameras there will not be. United Airlines might reroute passengers who don't want to arrive at AI-Slop DJT. Then again, they might not want a visit from the DOJ. Gops in disarray won't be passing their veteran's benefits bill for Trump not to sign. Things are so crazy, even Todd Blanche might not get passed.

Will Donald K. Trump create a singularity of cretinous lies tonight massive enough to swallow the United States, or will this be his taco of all tacos? There's only one way to find out, and that is to listen to David Waldman tomorrow describe the Bluesky posts commenting on those who heard about what Trump said. Don't watch tonight, as you can't get too close… the stupid, they say, it burns. For certain, Trump will not be talking about his federal prosecutor marching on June 6, or the text messages not just covered up, but erased. Greg Dworkin not only hauls in his usual Raft O'Stories™, but talks like a sailor too! A record 58% of battleground voters disapprove of Trump. Dem Haley Stevens is7 points ahead of Dem Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan for Senator. Following the primary, their factions are hopefully to become re-arrayed for the election, or at least hopefully hold each other in higher regard than they would some Gop candidate with the Nazi son-in-law. California's Xavier Becerra is crushing Gop Steve Hilton's gubernatorials. House Gops have pretty much run out of time to pass their reconciliation package. You will not hear the answer to who won the 2020 election in the Senate confirmation hearings. You won't hear the answer to any questions, really. If actions speak louder than words, though, Todd Blanche just might not get the unanimous Gop support he needs to get confirmed. ICE continues to maraud, mauling the rights andbodies of anyone they're unable to get a kill shot on. The Secret Service does not want to be JD Vance's Uber. RIP to local legend Denise Oliver Velez.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to box up today's chaos. ICE has announced a temporary reduction in streetside executions. Federal hitmen do not take out exactly the correct people but at least meet quotas. Susan Collins might be a little concerned that this would happen to her, but Trump could not be more delighted that someone handles this for him before he takes the Lugar over later in this term. This Thursday night, Donald K. Trump plans to make this Friday morning more stupid than any on record. IQs might remain at record lows for weeks. John Ossoff knows why Trump is doing this. In Michigan, the Senate race is wide open, although falling into maybe familiar patterns. Minnesota governor's race is falling into a psychedelic pattern. Democrats lead by 26 points among "double haters" because voters just can't find as much to hate them about. $5.6 million goes to E. Jean Carroll. Meh, Trump can clear that in three medium bribes. Too bad for Donald that a unitary executive can't sue themselves or he'd have the USA deposited in the Caymen Islands by now. The art of dealing with Trump is to never make a deal with Trump. It shouldn't take AI to tell you that DOGE used AI to create federal policy. New York becomes the first state to impose a data center moratorium. RIP, Pat Oliphant, IMO, the reason that several generations got into politics.

David Waldman, the guy who brought us "pervert glasses" (Well, not the glasses per se, but the concept of, you know…) brings us the Tuesday KITM: RIP to who again? Congresspeople are dropping like very old flies. Mitch is that one on the windowsill who started buzzing again. Lindsey had done that a few times himself before disappearing into the carpet somewhere. Donald K. Trump noted how much they all were attracted to him, but what's another fly gone, more or less? Graham had no wife and kids, but did have a sister, which is close enough for government work. RIP to the State Department, laying off 1,300 employees in order to create the deep state of their dreams. When all is handled from the top down, there need not be a bottom. The National Guard will remain activated in DC as long as Trump is there, give or take. Who else is there to guard the Lincoln Reflecting Pool/Tractor Pull Arena, the gash of which might soon extend beyond the Washington Monument? Boosie Badazz is still working on his art of the deal after paying Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman for a pardon. E Jean Carroll finally received the $5.6m Trump owed her, sadly not as a giant novelty check in front of Trump Tower. She can do that for her upcoming big check. Corey Lewandowski, who has never once been suspected of propriety, is once again being suspected of impropriety. A federal judge finally said what federal judges should have been saying, probably since there's been Trumps in the US. Do you think that could be a bump in Todd Blanche'spath to confirmation tomorrow? Nah.

Greg Dworkin helped us round up the chaos of this R -1 weekend. Did you have Lindsey Graham buying the farm before Mitch McConnell? What's the process in South Carolina for replacing Graham? Will Republicans just dip into the loser bench from their most recent statewide primary? Too soon to start thinking about how the Republican Infirmity Crisis will impact the balance of power in the next Congress? Ha ha! Trick question! There's no such concept as "too soon" anymore! Texas may yet escape Republican clutches, with the Deporter-in-Chief always on the ballot. But don't let Democratic successes get you optimistic! It's time to bite your nails about [dramatic music]… Democratic Socialists! In random news: One of those "looksmaxxing" dumbasses is dead now, too. Even though he didn't die, there's a bit of procedural drama surrounding the replacement process for Rigor Tortoise. Remember the time we spent last week on the NATO countries working on making their escape from the US umbrella? Well, it's not just NATO anymore. And speaking of craptacular foreign entanglements, Jared Kushner may have just stepped in it, in Albania. Which borders on the Adriatic.

David Waldman invites you to donate today, before we are forced to call it Donald Kagro Trump in the Morning. It's the weekend, and Donald is… where? Hiding in an Iran-proof bunker? Hitting the links with Mitch? Lying in wait for the Reflecting Pool Antifa? Supervising the White House column restoration to more resemble palm trees as the Mar-a-Lago founding fathers intended? Trump has fired all Democrats with the Election Assistance Commission so that he can relax and get more shuteye during midterm election rigging meetings. The Commie Gas franchise is expanding with 3 new stores in the tristate area. Sign up for their new 5-year plan! If it wasn't for the tedious committee hearings, Kash Patel would be living the dream, brother.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Here! Today! Graham Platner has dropped out of the Maine Senate race. Well, pretty much, it's hard to tell. Platner doesn't seem to be much into introspection… which is the mark of a real blue-collar man, amirite guys? Donald K. Trump knew that Graham was a pig, and kindred spirit, the moment that he saw him. Democrats, however, haven't been quite sure which one of themselves that they should blame for this, but do agree it will put them at a perfect advantage once they replace Platner with the perfect candidate that they all can become arrayed behind. Gops wouldn't get in a mess like this, because they don't. Maine has fewer gubernatorial vexations. Mallory McMorrow doesn't have Nazi tats or screw around, but she's out anyhow. Meanwhile, Mike Rogers is a strong candidate. He's the STRONGEST candidate RARR! Trump flew his phony baloney Air Force Oneto Turkey and flew the real one back. After all, what's the point of being safe if you don't look cool? Trump had reasons, which were not believed, to which our Master Prevaricator shouted in retort, "That's simple, I was only LYING!" Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear wants Mitch McConnell to update him on his health… Ha, the joke's on Andy! At NATO, Turkish President Erdogan handed out guns like party favors. What will Mark Carney and Keir Starmer do? Trump should have no problem, as long as he has enough suit pockets empty of silverware and signing pens. A judge has ordered that E. Jean Carroll's $5 million be released to her. Maybe, she got it today. Federal Judge Emil Bove's verdict is that he luvs Donald. Zohran Mamdani is a "football" fan who will call it "soccer", no problem. He does not like VAR, however. Trump doesn't know what a red card is for, after all, his favorite sport is "ruining things".

David Waldman spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning, as he often does to prepare for shows. Mitch would like us all to remember that anyone can be a supporter of KITM on Patreon for the incredibly low price of only $5 per month! Noted anglophile Greg Dworkin reports that noted twat Nigel Farage has been appointed Crown Steward and Bailiff of Three of the Chiltern Hundreds, which sure is one way to attempt to keep out of jail for laundering crypto-pounds. Unfortunately for Nige, this puts him directly in the path of trash statesman Count Binface, Vermin Supreme of the Albion. Texas Gop Ken Paxton is hiding out in England or perhaps has found a new place to vote in the midterms. Either way, someone should quickly appoint him to something. Everything that dotard Donald K. Trump touches dies, except algae, and the Islamic Republic of Iran. There is no going back to our relationship with Europe. Greenland could use a restraining order, although that might encourage stalker violence without proper enforcement. Gops desperately hoping to save the Senate get a breather in Maine. Gops in Congress can enjoy the scenery on their way down. Zohran Mamdani is more popular than Benjamin Netanyahu, therefore, Rahm Emanuel will be Zohran Mamdani, or at least not Benjamin Netanyahu. Trump's kids all wanted an airplane ride… Ok, not his "kids", but his cabinet, but Donald doesn't like to play favorites... Ok, he loves to play favorites. It turns out that rich guys who have run out of things to spend money on, can buy airplanes.

David Waldman returns to KITM up this Tuesday. Party Rock Anthem singer Lauren Bennett, RIP. Republican Senator Mitch McConnell…. well, that drum is still rolling as of press time. Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner… his political career seems in worse shape than Mitch's this morning. Platner's making some of his supporters look worse than most Republicans, and that's saying something. Capturing the Senate was always a toughie, but capturing the House might become tough if Dems don't get rid of him soon. As always, ranked choice voting is the answer. Does Donald K. Trump steal everything he can get his hands on because he's demented, or because he's a thief? Evidence supports that Trump is a dim-witted bastard, and a vile, contemptible, deceitful, kleptomaniac. Trump Accounts for Kids is, of course, a heist. Everything Trump touches dies, sometimes before Trump can suck the life out of it. The US national men's soccer team now looks like cheaters and losers because of Trump. Gop Anna Paulina Luna wants the Patriot Front white nationalist group investigated for being secret Democrats. MAGA Laura Loomer, I guess, is a different person?

Well, we made it through July 4th weekend! The "Great American State Fair" continued to frustrate and disappoint the weird few who insisted on attending. Or trying to, anyway. Fake "pavilions" filled with half-assed "exhibits" that lots of states wanted nothing to do with. Even so, some were made to look like they were participating, even when they weren't. And the look was not good! All-in-all, we should just be glad they didn't burn anything down. Greg Dworkin was here to remind us that there was plenty of other stuff happening this weekend, anyway. Bribery, marching Nazis, FIFA corruption. You know, the usual. Speaking of those marching Nazis, know why it was so easy to get so many of them into DC on July 4th? Probably because they were already there. Interesting developments in the Michigan Senate race, where state senator Mallory McMorrow ended her campaign, leaving just two main Dem contenders in the race. Where will her voters go? Not easy to tell. They'll probably all turn socialist! But not for the reason you might think: i.e., that they're socialists now. They probably just want someone who'll kick a little ass. And there are a lot that need kicking. Meanwhile, the regular onslaught of corruption stories continued unabated. Along with a bunch of people Trump claimed were jailed for "fixing their cars," he also pardoned (by strange coincidence) yet another Perv-A-Lago fraudster, this time one maybe tied to a wee bit of murder. And just for a bit of semiquincentennial fun, what movies best capture America? Well, hold onto your Uncle Sam hats, because America's Poet Laureate might just be the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head.

David Waldman has got his holiday planned out, but what are you doing for the Fourth of July? Traditionally, you might choose to rebel against a tyrant. Some also may reflect upon God's providence, as the ultimate source of liberty, this year more than ever. After all, He is not just pro-freedom, but very much against rampant corruption amongst a nation's leaders. The Great American State Fair's main exhibit Is Trump corruption, There are however billions of other examples. So many, that Donald K. Trump's handing out souvenirs to his friends and relatives. It's not real corruption unless you can cruise around in a pimped out 747, though. Karoline Leavitt got to ride back in the "library" with all of the "books" that Trump plans to "read" when he "retires". The Trump DOJ waited until only hours remained in their deadline to announce that they would not release any more Epstein files, because it's more fun to do it that way. The Trump DOJ experienced "a rapid unexpected disassembly", accidently releasing volume II of Jack Smith's Mar-a-Lago report to the person they are suing for stealing volume I. A Venezuelan man was accused of attempting to choke an ICE officer to death. As usual, authorities did not anticipate the truth tripping them up, almost as if lying is routine procedure… The National Park Service is no longer required to post truthful signage at National Park sites. Olympian canoeist David Hearn has been indicted for vandalizing the DC reflecting pool because directly contradicting Trump lies is a federal crime.

David Waldman won't be attending the Freedom 850,000 Fireworks this Saturday. He can sweat in the dark in his own living room, thank you very much. To help celebrate our nation's 250th birthday, Donald K. Trump will add one more layer of realism to his World War III cosplay in DC, with Saturday's 15 hours of shock and awe, emphasis on the shocking and awfulness. You can't bring food or water but do pack a gas mask and plenty of spare oxygen. Trump might do a flyover in the new Air Force One, which came in on time and only double the budget, by saving on those gaudy missile detection, countermeasure, security, and communication systems. It would seem that Donald does not put a lot of thought into the safety and wellbeing of others, but how would you explain Trump's executive order on pesticides… other than he just does what the last guy told him? It would seem that Trump is constantly losing, but he'd be gone in a second if that really was the case. No matter how much everyone else loses, Trump and his family are having the best time every minute of every day. You know when Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia feels swindled, it's bad. You can't prosecute Trump's Board of Peace because they have decided that you can't. Greg Dworkin has the latest on the midterms, which Senate Gops still don't have to worry about, because of "math". Then again, that math could change. For instance, a close Senate contest is brewing in Iowa, and Jon Ossoff holds a double-digit lead in Georgia. Phil Weiser defeated Michael Bennet in the Colorado governor primary and who doesn't hope that he goes against Victor Marx? Victor will not say how many people he's killed, nor predict how many he will in the future, and yet he still comes off better than Jared Polis. The Vatican excommunicated bishops of a breakaway traditionalist sect. Now do JD Vance!

It's another Primary Day morrow, and Greg Dworkin brings the takeaways, today from Colorado. Phil Weiser beats stalwart Michael Bennet in the gubernatorial. 29-year-old Democratic socialist Melat Kiros has the Mamdanimentum over old-timer Diana DeGette. Young Democratic Socialist Maurice Brown also has the "Mo". Grumpy old Dems become grumpier. There's more to come. Control of the Senate is up for grabs, but the RNC has control of the $100 million. Sherrod Brown is no young socialist, but he knows Ohio. The Donald K. Trump Supreme Court almost killed birthright citizenship. Gops who hope to murder the Constitution for good, ironically hope that a Constitutional amendment will do it, but first plan to torture it a while. A few Trump losses did slip through, for the moment. E. Jean Carroll isn't waiting around. DOGE installed visitor-tracking software on vital federal websites. Meanwhile, Trump wants a master list of spies, but spies don't want to give Trump the list. If Donald wants it, he can come and get it.

David Waldman delivers us to Tuesday, the first Friday of the week. Clarence Thomas' check cleared, so it's once again time for the Trump Supreme Court opinion dump. It was "a mixed bag" of Supreme Court rulings, in that SCOTUS handed Trump everything that wasn't nailed down by the Constitution, but that they will have to get around to the rest over the next couple of years… Patience, Donald, Stephen, and Laura, SCOTUS always plays the long game. Conservative Justices are "originalists" in that they originally decided this outcome back when they were in law school …or even earlier when they heard their uncle say, "When the first one moves in, there goes the neighborhood". There's "America 250", and there's "Freedom 250". One, Trump skims off of, the other… he skims off of, also. One has "George the Star", the other has ""Manny the Masturbator". (I mean, have you seen Abigail Adams?) Trump has another special gift planned for the 250th, once they melt down enough gold fillings and watches to coat it. Websites designed to "catfish", "pharm", "phish", and… have been installed by DOGE, so what are you going to do about it? Signal is still the administration's app of choice. Mike Johnson will try to pass the SAVE America Act on the back of an upcoming defense bill while he throws together a quick 28th amendment to the Constitution.

It's chaos out there, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got this part all figured out, comparatively. Generic Democrats are trouncing generic Republicans heading towards the midterms, probably because there are fewer "generic" Democrats running for office. Zohran Kwame Mamdani was too smart to become featured in the New York Post swimsuit edition. MAGA are too stupid to step in out of the rain. Donald K. Trump is running out of time to rig the election. Graham Platner has only begun to concern Susan Collins. In Alaska, Dan Sullivan is Dan Sullivan's biggest headache. Trump was indicted under the Espionage Act, which is one of many things you should be able to look into but can't. Todd Blanche's DOJ is violating the Epstein Files Transparency Act and Katie Phang is making him pay for it. Trump is solving Iran like Putin is solving Crimea. Mike Johnson is walking the fine line between compliance and complicity. In keeping with existing Trump guidelines, Bill Pulte has hired a Gop operative who looks like a Fox News anchor, likes to party, but acts like a tradwife (wink!) and really knows how to pad a LinkedIn. Trump is eager to begin work on the East Potomac public golf course before the law catches up with him and stops him.

Before heading into the weekend, there are a few minor issues we need to clear up. One: that weirdo Trump FEMA official is leaving. Which one? The one who teleported into a Waffle House, of course. How is he leaving? That we don't know, and it might not even be worth trying to guess, honestly. Oh, and remember the Shark Tank weirdo who was so sure that anyone opposing his plans for a mega data center in Utah just had to be a Chinese Communist Party front? Well, he's backing off of that one. Which is nice, I guess. Oh, oh, and remember that housing bill that both was and wasn't presented to the president for signature? Well, it's been presented. Again? Maybe? Oh, oh, oh, and remember Elise Stefanik? Well, we'll be rid of her for the time being, but MAGA weirdos are hoping to replace her with a different MAGA weirdo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, and remember the Reflecting Pool? It doesn't really matter if you don't, because it's whole history is going to be made up, anyway. Anyway, it turns out that the only contractor with real experience in dealing with it didn't want anything to do with Trump's plans for it. So they gave the job to Gomez Addams, instead. Looking ahead, at least on a story that's already got a long and checkered past, Todd Blanche and the DOJ might kinda sorta be in some trouble over the Epstein Files. But you know how that whole executive branch accountability thing goes. Though there are still some solid efforts being made at reviving the concept. It's all the more important, given that the leopards who ate the faces of the original "relitigate Watergate" champions are now looking to relitigate Watergate. Are you old enough to remember when ICE was spending like a drunken sailor, buying up every warehouse it could find and trying to "Whydontchajust" them into detention centers? Well, now they're trying to un-whydontchajust 'em (and pin the blame on Kristi Noem). One last thing to stow away for the weekend: the next blossoming scandal has dropped! Trump's looking to exploit LA28 Olympic organizers' need to stay on "the government's" good side by squeezing them for some kind of quasi-affiliated, pre-Olympics golf tournament at his LA club. That's not even a thing! But neither is remaining president while suffering from degenerative dementia.