Daily Kos Radio - Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin brave frigid temperatures with a combination of comfy slippers and raw determination to bring us this latest special KITM:  About the only thing worse than a Trump State of the Union speech is having to take it seriously the next day. Stupid, boring, lying Donald K. Trump said stupid, boring, lies for a couple of hours. Today, Dems have to pretend that there is something interesting about that. There wasn't anything to interest voters. There wasn't much to interest Republicans, as even racism and fearmongering can only go so far. There is a reason why Trump rallies empty out after a half hour, but most needlessly felt some obligation to stick around, if they couldn't manage to earn an ejection. Another reason Trump's State of the Union sucked is because Trump's state of the union sucks. This might matter to midterm voters, one would hope. Special elections sure portend well. The DOJ tried to take Trump out of the Trump-Epstein files and of course managed to get even more attention. Contempt sanctions go against the DOJ today for moving a man out of Minnesota against an order, not releasing him under the timeline ordered, and not returning him to Minnesota. Beta Pete Hegseth wants to be humiliated by alpha Mark Kelly again. Does Pete even lift, bro? Beta Kash Patel finally got to discover what testosterone looks like in the Olympic locker room. Trump was allowed to sniff their medal too. Allowing Kash, Donald, and Pete's fantasies to play out is the highest priority use of military equipment at the moment. Attorney General Brian Schwalb said that Congress didn't actually repeal the D.C. tax bill. Congress and paperwork, man!

David Waldman will continue his boycott of State of the Union speeches and snow until Greg Dworkin is returned to us safely. There will be a SOTU tonight, maybe. No one will be watching, so it's hard to be certain. Abigail Spanberger says she is, but who could blame her if she zoned out for most of it. More people than ever don't want to hear what Donald K. Trump has to say. Even Trump's imaginary supporters are fading away. Proud racists are getting more difficult to find. The US Men's Hockey Team will be there, but that's because they are being made to. The Women's Team was let off the hook. The men will be honored with Trump AI highlight clips and individual SOTU lap dances from Kash Patel. Trump has a few hours to fill, so tariffs might come up, all of it unpleasant, and absolutely nothing about anyone getting a refund. What else is he going to talk about? Greenland? Cannibals? He could declare a war or two. Maybe a pardon or two. Trump probably won't talk much about Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and art school girls, DOJ and FBI coverups, but correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has a lot to report!  Jared's dad, Charles Kushner, is ignoring French summons and would like to stay on the down-low, so expect Trump to flub that.

David Waldman goes it alone as Nor'easter bomb cycloned Greg Dworkin is up to his Connecticut mukluks in a local weather situation. Following Friday's Supreme Court tariffs decision, Donald K. Trump tariffed everyone 10% for laughing at him, then raised it to 15% to prove he's serious. He'll keep doing it too, until everyone understands who's in charge and quits plotting against him… It's those people who "support him" who are really out to get him… do they think he's a fool? Punish those who made deals, reward those he punished!  Call him insane, will they? Send a hospital ship to Greenland! Trump imposters fail to keep up with Trump's rapidly deteriorating diction and syntax. Chuck Schumer pretends to grill burgers MAHA-style. Another disillusioned MAGA bites the dust. Just The News isn't just the news, and even Trump knows it. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? No one will ever replace her. Instead of raising bail, the rich raise pardon money. Kash Patel trashed his reputation and that of the FBI because he is as big a fan of Olympic hockey as he is his girlfriend's singing career.

Friday is always a great opportunity to uncover the sordid details of stories dumb enough to be the Crime of the Century, but just end up buried under the pile of Crimes of the Millennium. Today starts with a perfect and crystalline example of Trump's criminal genius, a way to monetize vanity itself! So it turns out that DOGE was every bit as dumb as we thought it was. It's all here, but it comes down to this: they asked ChatGPT to make a list of "woke DNI" stuff they could eliminate, and then they just did it. Apparently forging the signatures they needed along the way. (Again!) So, yes, that British fellow, Andrew, was in fact arrested for some crime that was not specifically related to his being a giant pervert. But in the Al Capone tradition: 1) that may be ok, at least for now, and; 2) it's really all the same crime, anyway. This just in: SCOTUS rules against Trump in a case he intends to ignore or otherwise work around! This time, it's the tariffs, at long last! Can we depend on them to rule against him on Virginia's redistricting? Because we may have to! Here's a scary thought to carry into your weekend: 96% of the world's nuclear weapons are now in the hands of authoritarian rulers! Among the world's nuclear powers, only Britain and France remain genuinely liberal democracies.  Will you be able to read about that on the Internet? That's less likely now than ever. (At least during the time in which there's been an Internet.)

David Waldman counts down to the weekend, when we can all kick back, relax, and be incinerated in man-made hellfire…. but don't forget Friday's show! The law must take its course, as even His Majesty the King will tell you, no one is above the law, not even his very own brother, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. If only we had the moral rectitude of our forbearers, yet we invent new unaccountable elites every day. Still, around the world executives resign from companies as if they were ungrateful that Jeff made them who they are today. We could've handled it like Great Briton. We could've handled it like South Korea. We could've handled it like Brazil. Greg Dworkin culls the shiniest kernels out of his Ex-Twitter turd to share today. Democrats are job creators. House members get out while the getting's good. James Talarico is hot, hot, hot!  Gop Texans self-immolate.  Kristi Noem diverted a Coast Guard aircraft from an active search and rescue mission in order to transport detained migrants rather than share her double bidet. Stephen Miller, however, shows no inclination in retiring to spend more time in Hell. A Federal judge has finally found a DOJ lawyer in contempt. Judges have rebuked Trump's mass detention of immigrants thousands of times, encouraging him to do worse, faster. Keep alert to any stormtrooper activity at all times. Donald K. Trump sure can destroy a lot of real lives with powers that are mostly in your imagination.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin cut through the confusion and clamp down on the chaos for a tidbit of today. Hey, do you know who the guest was on The Late Show with Steven Colbert? Sure, you do, yet you can't say that very often, can you? That's because that guest, James Talarico, Democratic candidate for Senate, was given a huge promotional lift by Brendan Carr, Donald K. Trump, and a panicked herd of frightened lawyers, who say that they didn't want to make Jasmine Crockett mad. Jasmine Crockett isn't mad. This Blue Wave is raising all Dem boats. Just talk about the SAVE act is encouraging voter suppression, and spurring plans for new voter suppression. Don't let it get to you but do pay attention. Our generics beat their generics. Zohran Mamdani is the most popular Democrat. Donald's pal Jeffrey Epstein led a global criminal enterprise, creating crimes against humanity. Kristi Noem scuttles the Coast Guard. We kill boaters while cocaine booms, while the guy responsible for shipping 400 tons to the US gets all expenses paid vacation to the Waldorf Astoria. Federal Judges can hardly believe the administration's lawlessness, as they have ruled over 4400 times that ICE detentions were illegal. Trump is getting sick of all of the winning… must be why he hasn't been golfing lately. Hope nothing's wrong with the old boy.

David Waldman is back! And, it's Tuesday! RIP Jesse Jackson. RIP Robert Duvall! CBS let Steven Colbert interview James Talarico, they just don't don't want you to see the interview ​​. ICE is big business. The Feds paid $128.5 million for new ICE facility to pack in 10,000 detainees, that only 2 years ago sold for $90 million less. Then there's the Noem-Lewandowski Flying Love Palace with his and her's bidets and a wet bar, which could transport deportees in a pinch, honest! Yes, it is a new golden age for ICE, with the exception of the detainees and the employees. Epstein connections are about as horrible as Trump connections. At least in terms of losing your job in Europe. Here in the Good Ol' US of A, being a Trump-connected crackpot means you're currently having the time of your life proclaiming America a communist hellhole.

David Waldman delivers a lovely Friday the 13th KITM Valentine. May everyone you know receive exactly what they deserve. Speaking of romance, Kristi Noem fired a Coast Guard pilot for coming between her (and probably Corey Lewandowski's) favorite blanket. Corey's security blanket would be a badge and a gun, if he had them. The heated rivalry between Kristi and her non-botoxed twin, Tom Homan continues to rage behind the scenes. Who would think that Jared Kushner would be implicated in a national security scandal with Tulsi Gabbard and foreign nationals? Yeah, well, everybody. When John A. Sarcone III was caught unlawfully impersonating a US Attorney, the Northern District of New York appointed the most qualified attorney for the position, Donald Kinsella. That is just about the opposite of what the Trump administration wanted, and they fired Kinsella in under 4 hours, preferring to have no one at any wheel. ICE says that they are leaving Minneapolis, to places where they are wanted, who will soon learn to not want them. Meanwhile, most U.S. Attorneys and their staffs are bugging out of Minnesota, shutting down the vindictive prosecutions on their way out. The healing will take years, however, as the sickness continues to spread. The SAVE tool creates confusion and chaos, as it was designed. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, will soon present Donald K. Trump with 10 billion dollars, but for now spends her time freeing accused drug dealers. Budget director Russell Vought found some money nobody needed anymore and put it into an entourage. Jeanine Pirro will be suing someone for $250,000 after a large wooden block leapt into the path of her staggering.

David Waldman delivers another KITM under the cloud™ of a mass shooting... a Canadian cloud, but as gloomy and awful as the ones we produce. Greg Dworkin popped in, but soon buckled under an ice onslaught, or at least his internet did. The other, more toxic ICE Is spreading across the US, along with their concentration camps. They are thugs and pansies. The FAA closed the airspace over El Paso for 10 days, ok, maybe not, nothing to see here, move along. Howard Lutnick confused Epstein Island with 6 Flags. Bipartisan nausea over the Trump-Epstein files has the mop & bleach crews working overtime, except for Karoline Leavitt, who only wants fun questions from now on. Peter Thiel wasn't there for the girls. The House has voted to take whacks at Trump's tariffs as if they were a piñata. Tariffs remain one of the best methods of tracking Donald K. Trump's dementia. Trump says it's time for traffic problems on the Gordie Howe Bridge, while tariffing the imaginary prime minister of Switzerland's attitude. None of the 6 Democrats who Trump ordered killed have been executed. In fact, none of them have been indicted.  Oklahoma's State House District 35 Special Election flipped Dem… by 75 points. Trump's job approval is so low that Gallup has given up trying to even measure it. Georgia ballot inquiry originated with an election denier who of course became an election integrity officer. Roger Stone returns for 2026.

David Waldman wouldn't miss a KITM even for a lunch date with Stanley Tucci and the US women's hockey team, probably. That's how important you are to him! Everyone from Thomas Massie to Jamie Raskin figure that at least a half-dozen men are being protected in Epstein files. Ya think? It's driving some Democrats to vulgarity! It's driving MAGA to bellow, "HO HUM!" After all, as Donald K. Trump has been saying since 2006, everyone knew about Jeffrey Epstein and that Ghislaine Maxwell was evil. Bad Bunny is the pressing issue today. The only thing more boring to a Gop than Epstein would be ICE. Why are people so obsessed with those guys? Let's talk about something more pertinent, like the 2020 election, which may be due to uninterest them again soon. Listen, if you want something new to cry about, Trump always has something cooking. Time for some traffic problems on the Gordie Howe bridge, the international bridge Gops refused to pay for and now want half of. If you want to talk about tariffs, Gops can put you in exactly 4 to 6 months from now. Or how about never? After all, Trump's man in the Fed says, why worry? Anyhow, Trump's pick to head the Fed, Kevin Warsh, will have the economy growing three times faster than any time in history soon, why not?

The Friday pandemonium begins! First up: The Trump White House's Racist Post of the Day. Greg wasn't here today, but that doesn't mean there wasn't any special election action yesterday. There was! And we don't know who won! But it was exciting nonetheless, because a Dem "wins" either way. The seat won't actually be filled until April, but they may still be battling over DHS funding at that point. We'll see! Because today ends in a "y," Trump is trying desperately to name more things after himself. Yesterday, it was "TrumpRx," his Groupon-style website for discounts on a whopping 43 different pharmaceutical drugs. Today, it's Washington's Dulles airport and New York's Penn Station. Christine O'Donnell was famously "not a witch," but this guy is, and he was at the Clay County, MN Gop caucus earlier this week, laughing at Mike Lindell and casting a hex on the gathering. A two-fer! From Minneapolis, meanwhile, we're urged not to ignore the economic impact of the ICE/CBP siege. And perhaps lend a hand, if we can.  An ancient scroll, from 1987, may contain clues to a path toward accountability for ICE/CBP and other abusive federal "officials." With so much unsanctioned, un-uniformed "law enforcement" activity going on out there, it was probably only a matter of time until someone tried to take Luigi Mangione's detention into their own hands. It did not work. But on the other hand, neither did an actual DOJ effort to sanction Judge Boasberg. And not just because the effort was baseless and nonsensical! Have you heard that most Democrats are actually uninterested in shielding Bill Clinton from inquiry with regard to the Epstein files? Well, I guess The Hill hasn't. And as for things you should look into this weekend: You may have missed this Trump bribe (because it was reported in close proximity to this other Trump bribe). Anyhoo, the Senator that caught wind of that first bribe also wants us to know that something seriously f-ed up is happening over at the CIA.

David Waldman has a million things to tell you today… and almost does. Elon Musk's "X" Paris office has been raided. France, United Kingdom and Spain are charging Ex-Twitter of algorithmic manipulation and the distribution of child sexual abuse content. Hey, it's not a crime to hang out with pedophile content providers, is it? Greg Dworkin is there all the time in fact, mostly on assignment, of course. For example, polling. You just can't find that anywhere else. Polling shows that people are beginning to miss Joe and want Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem to go away. White non-college folks are even drifting away. Gops now wonder if they kicked around Latinos maybe a bit too much. Republicans are presently so hated that Democrats are actually beginning to look good to voters. Indeed, Dems might even be considered to be better than the lesser of two evils heading into the midterms. Democrats still have 9 months to ruin things, which is plenty of time. The House shut down the partial shutdown, except for DHS funding, as Gop John Rose likes them young and is the one vote margin.  ICE asks if you and whose army will make them unmask, ID themselves, and generally follow the Constitution, but first, you'll have to figure out who they are. Marimar Martinez was shot 7 times with 5 bullets, making her the bullet hole pin-up of the DHS. Slaughter of innocents may seem passé at the moment, but the feds still have their ways. Judges complain that so many of them enjoy being petty dangerous bullies, that there is hardly anyone left to do the paperwork.

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today! That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's Groundhog's Day! And the big question on David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's lips... on their chapped lips, is…  About half of the Epstein files have been released, and wow they are gross. Now half of them are gone because they weren't quite redacted yet. Epstein Island, or thereabouts, was the place for the elite to meet, from Elon Musk down to... Igor… who could be this Igor or that Igor but was most likely one of this guy's Igors. Will there be a Blue Wave? There is definitely a blue swing, and one giant blue swing in Texas. Taylor Rehmet flipped a state Senate seat by 17 points, a 32 point swing, a BFD big enough to push her well-funded opponent, Leigh Wambsganns, right out of Trump's mind. Gops turned out for the election, they just turned out to not like Trump anymore. Donald K. Trump hasn't a chance of getting these voters back, but that doesn't matter if there is no voting. Minneapolis is being pushed out of the news, but ICE hasn't been pushed out, and its economic embargo is destroying the lives of all the residents. Two Latino gang members shot a white man down on the street recently, but lately the gang has moved to indiscriminate use of chemical agents in the towns that they menace. What kind of chemicals? They don't know and they don't care. If anyone complains, there's always biowarfare.  Trump might not be the biggest crook in the world, but he's the biggest in a democracy, at least in what's left of one. Nancy Mace is giving him a run on who's the craziest.

David Waldman's weekend assignment for KITM listeners is to review the newly released Trump-Epstein files and copy him with notable highlights before Monday's show. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Lovable rogue Donald K. Trump is suing himself for 10 billion dollars, but don't expect that to teach him a lesson, he'll always be a kind of demented jerk, too. Meghan McCain wants attention… and needs attention also. Trump tacoed on his own taco, backing out of pulling back in Minnesota, now that there are two instances of Alex Petti not pulling a gun on ICE officers, and AI has been effective at making anti-ICE bad guys seem maybe as bad as his bad guys. Meanwhile ICE still gallop through town like drunken rustlers in a western. Someone somewhere for some reason decided to arrest Don Lemon. Pam Bondi took credit for taking out not one but two especially uppity journalists. Judge Patrick J. Schiltz says ICE has violated nearly 100 court orders but cancels the contempt hearing requiring the ICE director's appearance. We know who raided the Fulton County Board of Elections building, who wanted it done, and why… but what about the paperwork? No, it was not Thomas Albus, the German Muppet dubber, but a guy who might be his son, Thomas Albus, the United States Attorney for the eastern District of Missouri, and the official elections persecutor/prosecutor heading into the midterm elections. With only hours to spare, Chuck Schumer resolved the Federal shutdown. Ok, that might be a bit oversimplified. There will be a shut down, but Chuck did good.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sift through the latest fallout. Is today the day Donald K. Trump became president? Nope. That pivot you are seeing is a tailspin. A death spiral that Trump can't insult, distract, nor kill himself out of.  Killing people isn't good politics, because murder wakes up the vast sleepy middle. Trump's immigration approval drops to record low… wow, ya think? Trump tires of alienating the off-white and moves on to gun nuts. All the cool kids want to abolish ICE now. Being on the right side of history is good politics, eventually.  Two special Minnesota House races were won by Democratic contenders, in a big way... hallelujah! Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger runs out of bubblegum on Day One. Back over on the wrong side of history, Kristi Noem was just following orders… Stephen Miller's orders. Stephen vows to not go to the gallows alone. Meanwhile, ICE uses long-range sonic weapons, point blank, at protesters. ICE'S striving to be international pains in asses. Chained PAX are not safe 02/EVAC. Ilhan Omar was attacked by a far-right extremist "piece of sh*t" racist… no, not Trump, but definitely a kindred spirit. Days earlier, Representative Maxwell Frost was physically assaulted by a bigoted lunatic, again not Trump, although Trump's voice does speak in a lot of crazy heads.  The Pentagon is temporarily removing the bomb vending machine from their food court. Usha Vance has been successfully impregnated, purportedly by blasphemous idolator JD Vance. Avid moviegoers are rushing to avoid the smash non-hit Melania, the must-miss movie of the season!

A monstrous Leviathan the size of a common Leviathan lies off the coast of KITM World Headquarters, yet David Waldman is focused on only one thing: letting you know what the A-holes are up to today. Buh-KAK! Greg "Banty" Bovino has been tacoed out of Minneapolis. Kristi Noem has been secreted to an undisclosed bunker to determine how to cosplay a civilian. Meanwhile, ICE is still there, here, and everywhere they aren't needed. There is no evidence that ICE will become less stormtrooperesque, in fact they will probably become even more so under Tom "Thumb-face" Holman's command. Marimar Martinez took 5 bullets from an agent and wants her case made public. Minnesota Chief Judge Patrick J. Schiltz has ordered the head of ICE, Todd Lyons to his court where patience is at an end. Democrats really, really plan to do something about all of this. They had better. Why wouldn't you believe what Super President tells you?  There's nothing about Golden Dome that a few trillion couldn't fix, or a discombobulator ray couldn't break. There's a Lootbox with rare Pokémon cards sitting in the Pentagon food court. Other surprises too! You never know what you might find.

Let's gather around and warm ourselves on the glow of David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's wit and punditry. We remain under the cloud of a continuing mass shooting, or perhaps the unofficial public execution of dissidents to the Trump regime. Tomato, tomahto. The official line was much less accurate to that but always has the benefit of coming out first and loudest. "The good guy had a gun, so he was asking for it." argument is wearing thin, as typical person-on-the-street Marjorie Taylor Greene can attest. Gops understand the huge difference between now and Jan 6, and that's in the deadliness of the polling. In this case, they are calling for an investigation and might not even destroy any evidence. What can be done to stop this? Thoughts and prayers can get you arrested, but interrupting thoughts and prayers might not get you indicted. Only the National Guard have enough firepower to show empathy. Democrats strongly call to restrain, reform, restrict and continue to apply alliteration until Republicans submit. They might pull some purse strings also, which might be of some help if those strings reached to Qatar. James Comer throws Trump a TACO lifeline. But Donald is already way ahead of him, throwing Kristi Noem under the bus, installing her un-botoxed twin Tom Holman, Zohran Mamdaning Tim Walz, and declaring victory/retreat. Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor contender Chris Madel throws some smoke bombs of his own and disappears. 

Distinguished Ian Reifowitz, Professor of History and accomplished author, takes an hour off from touring on behalf of his latest tome, "Riling Up the Base: Examining Trump's Use of Stereotypes through an Interdisciplinary Lens" (available at the finest bookshops and atheneums) to talk with David Waldman about George Washington, the Electoral College, Somali slurs, royal decrees by idiot kings, and of course, Trump's use of stereotypes to rile up his base so that he will be envied by all on earth. Lead by diminutive warlord Greg "Banty" Bovino, thousands of Somali militia… no, sorry, thousands of Anti-Somali militia roam the streets in search of new victims. To meet quota, ICE must commit a number of atrocities each day. This is made difficult by people with morals and empathy, but also when people refuse to play with them. Don Lemon so far has not been arrested for reporting the news as it happens.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin give us a thing or two to consider. Babbling dotard Donald K. Trump triumphantly returns to the US following his conquest of Iceland and bestowing upon us an eternal reign of peace. Voters don't like Trump. Voters really don't like Trump. Trump dngaf. Trump has one set of voters that he cares about, and he takes care of them. The rest can go to Hell, and rest assured, Donald has plans underway to bring Hell to the US. ICE aren't peace officers. ICE aren't police officers. ICE is not an immigration enforcement agency. ICE is an organized crime syndicate. ICE is a roving street gang with millions in public relations, and government protection. Matt Gaetz is allowed to do what he wants as long as he doesn't rape kids in court. A New York judge ruled a Gop district there is unconstitutional, but Gop Dan Goldman is screwed either way. RIP Abby.

David Waldman wishes a merry and fulfilling Squirrel Appreciation Day, to those who observe. Greg Dworkin reaches into the anus of the universe and squeezes out more polling to share. There's always room for improvement when it comes to how to respond to madness. Trump ducked another bullet to arrive in Davos last night. Stupid demented degenerate megalomaniac Donald K. Trump vowed that there is no need for him to kill again, as long as everyone complies… except for Greenland, or maybe Iceland… and France… and Svalbard. They had better watch their backs. ICE are not rogue cops. They are good soldiers, just not your army. Demoralization and attrition aren't accidental; they are the objective. Resistance is not enough. Hate has an ever-broadening appeal. Her Excellency, Abigail Spanberger issued an executive order un-deputizing Virginia state police from being ICE lackeys. Dem Garrett McGuire has been specially elected to replace Mark Sickles who is now the new secretary of finance. How did Lindsey Halligan not do it? Federal judges count the ways. Halligan remains wrong till the bitter end.

David Waldman counts the years of this administration and… wait for it… we are beginning... year… Two! Donald K. Trump is a sick puppy. Barack Obama's Nobel prize wouldn't cure him. Obama's inauguration cake couldn't cure him. Nothing that Barack has would make Trump better, really. Every single person everywhere knows exactly what Jonathan Ross did to Renee Good, and why. So, of course, top dollar is being spent to alter those memories. Mom-and-son grifters Nick and Brooke Shirley have surely hit the bigtime. Meanwhile, it's been a bear market for truth, with another wave of resignations from the US Attorney's Office in Minnesota expected. Trump's "roving patrols" are closing in on Americans. Then there's Europe's Minnesota, Greenland. Minnesota and Greenland are exactly the same thing to Donald K. Trump and Vladimir Putin, who are exactly the same thing. Republicans are equally liable to oppose either. Vlad's got an invite to the new Diet United Nations, the BOP, along with anyone else with a GDP in their wallet. President Emmanuel Macron learned never to text capricious tween Trump, who put Macron's text on blast to all the cool kids, and put a 200% tariff on his wines and champagnes… are snails and frog legs next? Back in DC, Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer utmost priority remains to advance President Trump's agenda by belittling and bullying staffers, funding extramarital affairs, committing fraud where possible and dropping her crew off at Mar-a-Lago West, aka Angels PDX.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and podding harder than ever. Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ish Kabibble's birthday, and National False Equivalency Day. So, who thought that giving Donald K. Trump a free Noble prize would placate him? It did not, as acquiesce only makes him angrier. Now Trump will take revenge against the Nobel Prize Committee in Norway by taking Greenland from Denmark. The world isn't laughing anymore, especially not at Billy Long joking about throwing Iceland in on the deal. Bernie Sanders trips over his own shtick. Back at home, most people hate everything that Trump is doing, because most people are sane. Bipartisan agreement between sane and insane can be found on the release of the Epstein files. People oppose ICE when the only thing keeping everyone from being shot are Donald's morals, which leaked out long before half of his brains did. Columbia University graduate Mahmoud Khalil might be rearrested as the law is rearranged to disfavor him. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Lindsey remains an attorney no matter what the law says, because the law is irrelevant to this administration.  Stinkiest human windfarm, Donald pardons the worst crap, as often as it pleases him, or makes others angry, he doesn't put much thought into it. Trump endorses a candidate who is not yet running against her opponent, who is an incumbent who usually supports him. Good news! Virginia welcomes Her Excellency, Governor Abigail Spanberger, already making state colleges and universities smarter. The state is also redistricting, in the good direction. Bad news! Anything being produced by Bari Weiss, and OG bad news, Fox News.

David Waldman finally ends the week to review all the crap that happened and predict all the crap that is coming. That's a lot of crap! Donald is joking again! LOL. We should never take him seriously, but literally from now on. If only he spent his time only annexing Nobel prizes. The Proud Boys: Redux lays siege to Minneapolis, guarding the urinal of Greg "Banty" Bovino, demanding the papers of those demanding their papers, holding 5-year-olds hostage, and generally being assholes. And placing Dakota Tribe Native-Americans into concentration camps, aka MAGA. Donald K. Trump manifests his destiny again to Greenland, future dukedom of his grace, Lord Ronald Lauder. 4,000 US soldiers deploy to Norway in the first scene of a great movie.  Trump keeps a half billion here and there in coffee cans on fridges throughout the Middle East. Pete Hague-seth believes a good name for a US propaganda outlet might be "Stars and Stripes". The illusion of democracy persists with a small group of Senators attempting to revive Obamacare. Felony convict Tina Peters wants out of prison. The courts second guess themselves. Governor Jared Polis publicly argues with himself, as the rest of his staff plead, STFU boss! To think that this all started when a woman dreamt that her head fell off, which inspired a groundswell of heads to fall off across the nation.

David Waldman returns for The Final Episode of KITM… Or maybe that's tomorrow? Let's just take this one day at a time. Greg Dworkin returns from the world-leading source of AI-assisted undressing, somehow fully clothed, but with new polling on the Texas Senate primaries. Support for ICE'S collapsing, as they break laws and crack heads around Minneapolis and elsewhere. ICE'S optics are bad when they are never good... and always evil. Mayor Jacob Frey's forces are outnumbered. Tim Walz wants more witnesses. Todd Blanche wants Walz and Frey in Cecot. Ritchie Torres wants fast self-serve checkout. Gop wannabe Bruce Blakeman wants the opposite of whatever Kathy Hochul wants. All ICE wants are to be big men with big paychecks, and they will come up short on both. It would hurt more if they had to put time and effort into their jobs, which obviously they don't. ICE is leaving victims' cars on the road for people to collect, but also their own cars, and munitions. Hey! The DHS claims that Jonathan Ross is bleeding from his whatever, so there! They aren't the only dummies! The Gop House sent the wrong Obamacare bill to the Senate, because you know they have been so busy lately. And of course, homogenized ass-whole Donald K. Trump would destroy the world if only he could stay awake long enough. Pop-up nuclear reactors should get the apocalypse out of the way soon. Mini reactors are brought to you by those safety-minded folks in Russia, and Jeffrey Epstein!

Due to recent levels of chaos and insanity in the news, today's Whiskey Wednesday KITM with David Waldman will be followed this week by Meth Thursday and Freebase Friday. While hanging around the world clearinghouse for sexual deepfakes and child exploitation images, Greg Dworkin discovered several positive polling shifts for the Democratic party.  Just about everyone has seen Renee Good murdered. Most of them believe that ICE should not have murdered her. Most believe that ICE gunmen should be prosecuted and their reign of terror should end.  Most people are not MAGA. Everyone knows Good was murdered. It's just that some people like murder and want to see more of it. Joe Rogan isn't catering to those people. JD Vance absolutely is. The expected "She was no angel" smears are being replaced with lynch mobs, while six Fed prosecutors quit rather than persecute-prosecute Renee's widow. 20,000 lone gunmen might be in your town tonight. If only Jerome Powell complied, his tragedy might have been averted. The imperial boomerang returns to take out native people, again.  The bad news is, the weaker Trump becomes, the more dangerous he becomes. The good news is, all of this bad news is because Trump is becoming weaker. Trump can't save Tony Dokoupil but can take credit for him. Gops team up to kill Gop bills.  Republicans always knew Donald K. Trump was crazy. Chuck Schumer may end up looking like a genius. Scott Adams remains dead but will never have worms.

David Waldman is back for the thirteenth most progressively stupid day this year. Just wait until you see tomorrow! PERFIIIIIDY!!! Pete Hagueseth is making certain that he checks off every possible war crime in his first year on the job. Disguising war planes as civilian planes is ill-advised unless you want all of your civilian planes treated like war planes. Not feeding his own soldiers at Fort Greely is a nice touch. The Left was right about Trump. They always were, everyone knew, but it's fun and profitable to pretend otherwise. What are we going to do about it, impeach him again? South Korea has a better idea. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, is turning out to be not she-wolf enough for Flatulent Führer Donald K. Trump, although her Civil Rights Division finally get that they aren't really in that business anymore.  Jeanine Pirro doesn't want to be left out of the stupid, so she freelanced the subpoenas and criminal investigation of Jerome Powell. That is, she's "just asking questions", like they always did on Fox. Ex NYC Mayor Eric Adams introduced a memecoin which some think is a rug pull, which makes sense, because that is why people introduce memecoins. ICE continues to maraud. Protect yourself. Protect others. Expect lies. Expect it to get worse. Scott Adams, now certified horse parasite free.

David Waldman cheerfully returns with another KITM, even after Amy Poehler stole his award. Greg Dworkin reports on some polling that he found on a porn site. That's the good news. The rest of it, and there is a lot of it, is pretty bad. The good news would be if all this bad news will lead to a turning point. We got to bottom out sometime! ICE'S enough to make anybody cuss, and it is probably time to think of worse curse words to describe what's going on. Everybody is trying to figure how to handle ICE, but their whole point letting everyone know they can't be handled. Might means right is their message, even when they play the victim. That is how they can make this woman into a trained assassin. In fact, that is how they make any woman into both an existential threat and an easy target. Hey-Oh, we won't be silent while our friends are gunned down. Gaseous dotard Donald K. Trump somehow rules America with fear and is tearing apart the world. He's an easily duped moron who would be happy to destroy the world tomorrow if he knew humankind's final moments would be spent envying him. Today's target, as suggested by Machiavellian cretin Bill Pulte, is Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell. Tomorrow's target is the CEO of ExxonMobil.  Governor Jared Polis of Colorado is cowed. The Washington National Opera is not. Former Representative Mary Peltola is bringing the good fight to the Alaska Senate race. RIP Bob Weir, the late great Grateful Dead founding member.

David Waldman added a second stick of butter to his breakfast whiskey sour this morning yet still felt a little under the weather. At least it's Friday! The shooting spree continues following the Renee Good murder with a husband and wife shot in their car in Portland. The White House has no slurs prepared for them at this time, since everyone is still working on the Good case. Efforts to gaslight have been hampered somewhat by all the witness video, but after Jan 6 they're becoming old hands at this. Donald K. Trump is pretty certain Joe Biden is behind all this, but probably also AI. Kristi Noem doxxed her perp agent, Jonathan Ross. Ross could've been screened for PTSD, anger issues, etc. before being put out on the streets, but if they did that, who would be left on the force?  Constitutional sheriffs would be against this if they weren't so for this. So. WTF is wrong with Trump? Is he ProtoNeoKing? Or does Tiny Hands have a männerbund of Littlefingers pulling his degenerate strings? According to Trump, only his morality keeps him nuking the world… and who would he have to read his posts? Thus, he restrains himself to annexing Greenland and public golf courses. Tulsi Gabbard was just hired to sit there and look pretty, as was, of course, Lindsey Halligan, Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi, and Pete Hegseth. John A. Sarcone III is no looker but is still worthless. Various people under the impression that a government still exists voted to extend Obamacare subsidies for 3 years but were unable to override vetoes of 2 bills that had passed unanimously. Some in the Senate fail to understand that this is Trump's neo-monarchy.

David Waldman presents today's KITM, sadly under the cloud of yet another mass shooting as part of the ICE shooting spree across the United States. Five people are dead so far, and the killers are still on the loose. There might not be many suspects however, because there really aren't that many ICE. Nonetheless, good luck catching any as they move from town to town. One day after the fifth anniversary of Jan 6, MAGA are reminding everyone of their respect for and compliance with law enforcement. With ICE it also helps to avoid frustrating, angering, or interacting with them in any way, and never, ever interfere with their influencing side-hustle. Minnesota psychosexual racism hustler Nick Shirley is surely saddened that his hustle might come to end because of one little homicide. Help is on the way to Nick in the form of many future homicides in the near future. The Trump administration are never the ones to let facts get in the way of a good time. Renee Nicole Good might have been a widow returning from dropping her child off at daycare, but we are now reminded that she was no angel. Kristi Noem says Renee was a trained assassin. Donald K. Trump can't believe that his ICE agent escaped her with his life seeing how profusely he was bleeding from his ear and all… The FBI is blocking Minnesota investigators from the case. Schools close across Minneapolis... Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, you know what else David talked about today? Our arbitrary and capricious president might be an unreasoning dotard, but others might be playing 4D chess with Donald, not as a pawn, but as a proto-neo-king. With clankers doing all our thinking soon, it won't be what you know but what neo-royalty you have become aligned with. Goodbye international law and cooperation, welcome back trillionaire God-kings.

David Waldman delivers another dispatch from and for the reality-based community. 2026 and still no video on this cast, because we know what you would do with it. Speaking of reality-based, we are back around to another anniversary of January 6. Keep it in mind, tightly, because they will always try to take that memory away. It was only a matter of time before Stephen Miller expanded his master race weltanschauung to other countries. The US may take whatever it wants because it can take whatever it wants, and no country can stop us! Not historically a well-received move, but it might work for us! The "Donald K. Trump coup d'état-of-the-week plan" isn't exactly "regime change". The intent isn't to create puppet governments, but zombie governments that can be pointed in the right direction with a torch every once in a while. Trump is doing this for two reasons. One, because he can. Two, because you can't stop him. Illegality is the point for Trump and MAGA. Megyn Kelly used to be all for that sort of thing, but now she has 16- and 14-year-old boys… well, you know the story. And then there is money. A zombie state would be great to experiment on, implant an economy, see how it goes. Betting markets can wager on how long it will survive. If the zombie survives, you have a slave, if not, you feed it to the other zombies.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don't need a hastily prepared PVC pipe and black draped tent to deliver the action KITM listeners crave.  Today's apocalyptic earth-shattering black-swan event is the abduction of the President of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro. Nobody is really certain why we did it. Maybe Maduro is involved with Jeffrey Epstein, or the Nobel Prize committee? Maybe he just wanted to piss off Marjorie Taylor Green one last time? Maybe war with Venezuela was a campaign promise? Did a tariff payment check bounce? You know, Maduro was asking for it… a lot of people are asking for it... One thing is certain. It sure is fun to watch stuff blow up. Trump wanted Zero Dark Thirty and Delta Force delivered. Delivered clicks, that is, and what's more important than that? Everybody's wondering, "Where does this franchise go from here?" The possibilities are endless, but time is of the essence, as cheap overseas knockoffs are already in the works. Now, you are probably asking yourself, "Hey, remember Venezuela? What's happening with those guys?" Well, that's yesterday's news. Somebody down there surely has a handle on it. Marco or Stephen will check in later this week to look in on them or something. Right now, it's doing everything Trump needs it to.  If not, someone should expect to see a nasty email or drone arrive soon with their name on it. Of course, all of this is perfectly legal. In fact, it is illegal to say that it is illegal, that's how legal it is. Meanwhile, let's pretend that we still have a democracy. Tim Walz is taking time off from being an assassination target to spend more time with his family, opening the door for Amy Klobuchar to run for Governor. Amy has been preparing for this moment. California also still exists, and Matt Ortega is running for election to the U.S. House to represent California's 14th Congressional District. 

My mind was rarin' to go again today, but the rest of me wasn't having it. The smart thing to do was to use the Black Hole Week down time to answer a question the last couple of re-runs might have put you in mind of: What the hell did KITM sound like on January 7, 2026? Well, now you'll know! And if you'd like a preview, here's Scott Anderson's summary of that fateful day… after the actual fateful day. David Waldman, broadcasting from the center of our vast KITM World Headquarters, phones Greg Dworkin down in the laundry room, to discuss all that happened yesterday: Did you read my summary yesterday? No? Well, I don't blame you. Yesterday was pretty crazy. Yesterday, I was certain Trumpers would be no challenge to Capitol police. The day before, I thought even the idea of an assault on the House chamber to be an outlandish joke. Imagine my surprise to find attitudes change so quickly.  Otherwise, it wasn't much of a surprise. The forces of white entitlement, white supremacy and white lunacy amassed in DC, and statehouses across the country. Some of the assembled mob believed they were literally going to war. A few of them might have been surprised on all what that entails, but plenty sure as hell knew what they were doing. The rioters might have looked like jokes but they weren't joking, and everyone knew it. Rudy Giuliani tried to subvert the will of the people, but called the wrong Senator. Violent insurrection is what Donald Trump wanted. He already goaded a mob to seize the capitol in Lansing, Michigan, and he used social media to attempt a coup. He and the gang are being deplatformed 5 years too late, and it's not nearly enough anymore. William Barr, Mick Mulvaney, along with several others of the Trump administration, many Republicans, and all the other presidents can tell you it is not enough anymore. Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have called on Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment. Of course, it was only yesterday that Mike got his big boy pants pulled up, so that might be a big ask.  Speaking of Mike, Politico's "Congress Reporter", Kyle Cheney misspoke about a discovery that he misconstrued as Pence manipulation of the electoral count, when in fact it is a parliamentarian hero story.

Time to give the voice a rest, using the convenient excuse of the holiday! That's right! It's Arbitrary Metric Day, the annual festival celebrated by making dad jokes about writing the wrong dates on things called "checks," whatever they might be. To mark the occasion and keep some number of you company today, we continue on our Christmas re-run timeline, presenting our January 1, 2021 episode. Back then, it was a brand-new, pre-recorded show, for a brand new year! Scott Anderson had the day off, so it fell to me to summarize the day's show. And boy, did I ever not want to do that! The only logical thing to do was to half-ass it, and I am nothing if not logical. The Senate advanced their work in overriding the NDAA veto yesterday, and everyone's a little bit puzzled as to how it's going down, and what it means for the prospect (if there ever was any) for $2,000 relief checks before this Congress dissolves. In the meantime, maybe just ask Moscow Mitch directly. In coronavirus news, a nurse who got his first dose of vaccine has caught the 'rona in-between jabs. But don't worry! That actually doesn't mean much. Masking appears to have helped India tamp down on the virus' spread, though there's some debate over how widespread the practice really is. Meanwhile, Russia appears to be 'fessing-up to its real losses. Here in the US, we may not be systematically underreporting losses, but we're not covering them as aggressively as we could be. More dopey Republicans have walked straight into the COVID buzzsaw. Good news! Trump is finally taking "action" about those bounties on our troops! The bad news is, he's only targeting China for it. Republican nutcases are still plotting to put on a futile display of upending our democracy. But some of the key Republican players on Jan. 6 probably aren't on board. Arizona's own Republican nutcases might have really stepped in it. As a parting New Year's present, here's a plausible theory for invalidating some of Trump's impeachment-connected pardons.

David Waldman wrings out the old year with Greg Dworkin on today's KITM. Chuck Schumer will be delivering the most harshly worded letter to 2025 today but vows to take the fight to 2026 and to persevere to the very moment that he doesn't. Donald K. Trump, who lost his right hand in a botched gender-affirming surgery late in 2024, might have to disclose this and other medical and psychological records in future lawsuits. It is said that the worst Cabinet Secretary is the one that kills the most civilians.  This is a heavily competitive category, but under that criterion, RFK Jr. takes the lead and looks to hold that lead for the rest of our much-shortened lives. Trump environmental policies will make certain that any survivors, world-wide, will spend their short lives in increasing misery. Can you imagine the reputational and financial damage an artist could incur by performing at a Trump-branded venue? At least the Kennedy Center changed its board rules to save some members the permanent humiliation of being associated with the name change. Hours after the death of JFK's granddaughter Tatiana Schlossberg, Trump insulted the Kennedy family for not actually owning the building with their name on it. Sans serif type can help millions of people with poor vision and disabilities. Trump and Rubio say 

Donald K. Trump purported, claimed, fantasized, pulled out of his ass the claim that the US bombed "a building from where the boats leave" in Venezuela. Good enough for the New York Times! And perfect news to break on lunkhead-billionaire John Catsimatidis' radio show on his radio station. John is in Epstein's little black book, so we might actually discover if his face actually goes to his toes. Donald K. Trump son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and Putin's hand up the Trump puppet, Steve Witkoff have developed a bold 32-slide PowerPoint presentation with a humble $112 billion price tag, minus your $91 billion, formed around the classic structure of, "Kill the natives. Destroy their homes. Sell resorts. Employ some survivors. Profit!" Canada maliciously complies with middle manager out of control, Donald K. Trump.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us through this black hole week of the black hole presidency. Let's return to the Trump Epstein files. Only an idiot could deny how many might be getting their first taste of justice, if the Justice Department was not fighting against that. Of course, there are still a lot of idiots out there. Julie K. Brown is a journalist targeted in the war against justice. The New York Times believes that Marjorie Traitor Greene has recently decided to become a traitor to Trump, when we all know that Marge has always been a traitor to everyone. MTG certainly knows that DJT is DOA in 28. Marge's actual target, JD Just Dance Vance, brought Elon Musk back to the White House in order to buddy up to the First Buddy. Is the US beginning to recoil from MAGA culture? Is the Pope Catholic? Mass protests are effective, so are well done small protests. The Jan 6… actually the Jan 5 pipe bomber wasn't partisan, he just liked bombs. Americans hate AI. The problem is that American money loves AI and AI is the only friend American money has at this moment. If/when the AI bubble pops, the only thing left to prop up the US economy will be the tech startups of Led Zeppelin fanboys. Ukraine President Zelenskyy would probably prefer to sit at the front lines than across the table from Stephen Miller and Jared Kushner. At least, then he would have a fighting chance. That sound you hear is ten US presidents spinning in their graves.

Battling an oncoming cold, we—by which I mean me—present our Boxing St. Stephen Day extravaganza! Despite the cold, I couldn't stay away from our preferred form of social media. And neither could "our president." Two hundred or so unhinged wackadoodle posts for Christmas. And a bombing! The netroots lost an OG over the holiday, too. Howie Klein, known to us as the proprietor of Down With Tyranny! passed away. Turns out (as if we didn't know), he was known to most others for his lifetime in the music biz. The Epstein Files situation continues to snowball. Today's focus: the lawyers involved in Epstein's sweetheart deal in his first "incarceration." Sweetheart doesn't even begin to describe it, though. Heading into the weekend, we rounded up backgrounders and primers on new entrants into the Trump World Rogues' Gallery and other Things You Need to Know. First up: the Ellison boys, their billions, and how they'll use them to ruin everything. Next, the Congressional watchdogs at the General Accounting Office (GAO). Mostly asleep on the job lately, but at least they're on the job. For another three days, anyway. And who are the GAO folks supposed to be keeping an eye on, exactly? The White House's Office of Management and Budget (OMB). You know. Russell Vought. Here's more we need to know about that guy.

'twas the day after The Night Before Christmas, and all through the house, nobody really wanted to be responsible for making other people work. So I didn't. Uh... not even a mouse, or whatever. Today, we'll all take a moment to relax--whether you have reason to or not--and think back to a time when Christmas meant the impending departure of Donald Trump. A simpler time, when we didn't yet know that someone had blown a city block of Nashville sky high, on Trump's "watch." You could be forgiven for forgetting, though, since he also launched a MAGA assalut on the U.S. Capitol less than two weeks later. So, yes, please enjoy this, our December 24, 2020 episode! David Waldman, opens today's KITM yawning like the MGM lion, waking us up for Christmas eve: Donald Trump keeps handing out pardons like moist candy canes to anyone that met him under the mistletoe over the last few years. Donald pardoned Jesse Benton as a gift to his employers, Ron Paul and Mitch McConnell and the uncle of Benton's wife, Rand Paul… (Jesse will probably be Matt Gaetz' son by the end of the day.) Trump pardoned a former Maryland police officer whose heart he knew was in the right place. (They need to be arrested faster than Trump can pardon them.) Merry Christmas! Trump's Blackwater pardons aren't bringing much cheer to their victim's families, however. There's bound to be more today, but Dad's saving the nicest ones for under the tree in Mar-a-Lago. Greg Dworkin reminds us that actually, Donald Trump doesn't give gifts to anyone but himself. If he can take someone else's gift, it's even better. Merry F***ing Christmas to everyone in Congress with the Gop at each other's throats and Democrats trying to pull $2000 checks out of the fireplace. It seems that Trump might be a little over his head still on how government works, or how reality works for that matter. Kelly Loeffler, too. Two Republican House members voted by proxy — while simultaneously suing to ban the use of proxy voting . Ron DeSantis figures, why appoint experts when he can be the guy that says expert things? Rep.-elect Luke Letlow checked himself into the hospital for no particular reason, and is now thinking about checking out the ICU for the holidays. People who are immunocompromised or otherwise allow coronavirus to hang around for while might encourage unfortunate mutations. Did Bill Barr arrest Lev Parnas to keep him from testifying against Donald Trump? Did a Democratic House candidate lose by 6 votes after 22 votes were improperly excluded in Iowa? Did the Kansas City Star misreport on Black Kansas Citians for generations? Yes.

David Waldman takes a short break in his otherwise completely normal day to bring us news of all of the abnormalities of today. Greg Dworkin comes down the chimney with his Sack o' Stories™, attached to that unfortunate sack of Ex-Twitter ex-crement. Jeffrey Epstein is the gift that keeps on giving, and on the third day of Epstein, the DOJ gave to thee a myriad mentions of Trump, 8 Lolita Express trips, 3 criminal co-conspirators, more ties to pedophiles, but nothing much for victims of the crimes. The redactions seem excessive, but you should've seen all the ones that were pre-redacted. Sure, two thirds of Americans are allowed to have sex with little girls... once they are married in holy wedlock. It takes connections, however, to collect underage women. Just ask John Casablancas of Elite Model Management, Paolo Zampolli of ID Model Management, and that guy who founded Trump Model Management. We return to Turning Point USA's flagship event, AmericaFest, to get a sense of the harmony and unity Erika Kirk brings. Neo-Nazi terror group "the Base" is taking advantage of the anti-antifascist environment here and around the world. Trump's arch enemy, wind farms, taunt him on the horizon of his golf courses, and worse yet, help sustain the environment that refuses to kick back to him. So, until Trump can rename the wind "Trump", everyone must suffer. Bari Weiss understands the need for quality journalism yet feels that CBS should give equal weight to propaganda. It's the public's right to know, and the oligarchy's… well it's the oligarchy's. That is all you need to know. What? The Trump Supreme Court just told Trump that he can't deploy the National Guard in Illinois. Trump won't like that. Brett Kavanaugh wants everyone to know that none of this is his fault.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned, and already it feels like there's more sunshine today. There! The DOJ released less than a percent of the Epstein files. Happy now? Apparently, dumping 500 pages with black lines over previously accessible documents and removing photos that even they had released previously fails to meet the spirit of the Epstein Files Transparency Act… Ok, the law of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, along with several other laws. It does fulfill the spirit of screwing as many as possible while keeping your buddies' backs, however. You couldn't catch the latest 60 Minutes episode because Bari Weiss caught and killed it first. CBS says the story wasn't ready, but it did take a while for Bari Weiss to get her story together as well. Trump is removing dozens of career diplomats from overseas posts, because what would they know? Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry will be special envoy to Greenland, because Jeff is a noted expert on agreeing with Trump.  Landry will remain Governor as Louisiana's constitution does not explicitly prohibit "side hustles". Nobody told ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee to not to talk with Jonathan Pollard, who was convicted of selling American secrets for Israeli gold, who now hates Donald K. Trump for selling America for Saudi gold. The getting is good for Cynthia Lummis and Elise Stefanik, so they're gone, while Mike Johnson might not be aware that he's already been quiet fired.  The Federal Reserve pre-fired 11 of its 12 regional bank presidents before Trump could. How does Lindsey Halligan keep not doing it?

The Friday chaos is already underway! Somehow, despite the "surprise" nature of the "unanimous vote" by a handpicked board for the "name change," they're already installing new signage at the Kennedy Center. If you ordered a Trump Mobile T1 phone for Christmas, you're dumb! And SOL, as they say! Speaking of Trump phones, there's a newly-released tape of yet another racketeering phone call Trump made to Georgia Republicans, to try to overturn the 2020 election. And speaking of that, Jack Smith sat for a deposition before Gym Jordan and the Judiciary Committee on Wednesday. And he told them all that yes, there was a mountain of evidence to convict Trump. On everything. Thankfully, no Republicans accused him of politicizing the investigation, because Democrats bought 100% protection from that charge, by agreeing—once again—that all serious investigative and prosecutorial power must at all times be ceded to Republicans. But I digress! The U.S. continues to blow up more boats in the… uh… warm-ish, equatorial region. You know, wherever. Does it really matter what country they're from? Or whether anything alleged is true? I guess not, because it isn't! But couldn't Stephen Miller's evil plan to destroy Venezuela just end up driving more migration from Venezuela? Yes! But would Miller necessarily be sad about that? Not if it makes things look more like the fake "invasion" he keeps screaming about. Anyway, Happy Epstein Files Release Day, at long last! By which we mean Happy Epstein Files Not Getting Released Day! All the more reason to spend the weekend reading the NYT account of Epstein and Trump's "intense and complicated" relationship. And barfing! And if you're in DC, you'll still have plenty of other reasons to barf, like the continued presence of a federalized National Guard contingent. Why? Because you're too lazy to have become a state, of course!

We're finally saying "Happy Hanukkah" again! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring glad tidings and pertinent information. Is it better when Donald K. Trump goes on primetime to say nothing? If so, Trump delivered last night. It was tough to come up with takeaways or see any points Trump made, even with PowerPoint, but even harder to paint anything he said as factual, truthful, or remotely not deranged. Trump blamed everyone but him and was furious that all credit did not go to him, so expect this speech periodically through the rest of his term. The one piece of actual news is the promise of Merry Christmas checks to armed service members, in other words, the "basic allowance for housing" that hubristic underhanded moron is BS-ing unassuming GIs, by calling it a "warrior dividend". If Trump wasn't so bad at corruption he could have retired by now. Susie Wiles hasn't lasted this long by going around pointing out everyone's moral, legal or rational shortcomings, you know. Democrats are, of course, frustrated by their lack of control in the House, but it could be worse. They could be Mike Johnson. In other acronym news, Congress wants to know why the Space Force needs a SOCOM, or "special operations component command".

David Waldman addressed the nation today. If you were unable to catch it live, you can replay with the link provided above. Click click click… Greenland… Canada… The TACO wheel o' war might be coming to rest on Venezuela as US battleships cross the Andes to surround Trump's oil, land other assets. Join Master of Ceremonies Donald K. Trump tonight as he countdowns the number of corpses he has to feed into this Epstein thing. Trump's National Security Strategy is none of those things. It's not even Trump's, as what's in it for him? Greg Dworkin hauls in some polls from the awful place. That doesn't make them awful, of course, only suspect. Democrats are gigantically overperforming at this moment. That could change if the economy improves, and there is no way that is going to happen, and even MAGA knows it. Republicans unravel! Gops make or break moment on Obamacare has them going for broke. Trump staff posed for Vanity Fair cameras one inch from their noses and figured that this was just going to be a puff piece. Suzie Wiles is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being DC has ever known this week. Oh, the weather outside is frightful… but you can't prove that because the National Center for Atmospheric Research is being disposed of. Somewhere Tina Peters is smiling.