News, politics and commentary from Daily Kos Contributing Editor David Waldman
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I missed you guys! I was only gone three days, but I'm not sure how anybody could take that. David Waldman is still here, right where I left him, thankfully. On Monday it looked as if we might default this week. Now it looks like we will instead default in two years, that is if the Freedom Caucus is still around then. The US adds a big 339,000 jobs in May, exceeding estimates month after month just like President Joe Biden. Donald Trump, the Mona Lisa of persecuted White Christianity, is hoping to avoid those annoying prerequisites of achieving sainthood/dictatorship. Moral exemplar Roger Stone wants to lead the Christian Trumpists onward to… wherever they want to go to take whatever they want, a pretty traditional objective really. But first they'll need to take on the forces of evil woke mermaids. It's not sex nor money. The best way to get an idiot to spill information is to challenge their intelligence. Donald Trump proved his intellect and judgment to a pair of randos with just some classified documents on Iran. Periodically, the smartest remaining Trump lawyer resigns, thus moving the peak of the bell curve over a few notches. It turns out that arranging to quickly kill the highest number of people wasn't the best COVID health plan. James Comer might be on shaky legal ground on his investigation on Joe Biden, but all that legal stuff would just get in his and Chuck Grassley's way.
Join us as Greg Dworkin assesses the guesses on how The Deal would go down in the House. (Spoiler: mostly correct!) And, of course, how the media did in covering it. (Spoiler: mostly incorrect!) But that's more or less how the game is played. So, was there a deal between the party leaders to get this through? Depends who you ask! In fact, if you ask just the right questions, you'll start to wonder whether the Gop even had a deal with itself. And since we're not quite done with the debt ceiling just yet, here's yet another good point about doing away with it. Meawhile, there's some unrest afoot in Florida. Even in “conservative” areas. To no one's surprise, DeSantis' fascism just isn't sitting well with everyone. And it seems the formula doesn't always translate well when exported. There's other news breaking in Florida, too. We'll have to wait and see what else breaks along with it. In the surprise of the century, George Santos' office is involved in some unethical, and possibly illegal, weirdness. Does today end in a Y? Yes? Well, in that case, here's TFG confessing once again, on tape.
Today's the day we all thought we'd be waiting for! The day Greg Dworkin had his first crack at the news of the week! Only it turns out we didn't have to wait at all. And that the news was pretty much as Greg and Joan had predicted. In the end, it was mostly standard Gop budget fare. Nancy Mace got the attention she was craving, but only by feeding the narrative that Republicans are losers. That in turn fed counter-narratives that Biden had rolled ‘em. And, of course, that the whole thing was a terrible idea from the start. Then, the news turned weird. Tara Reade defected to Russia, which I didn't know was still a thing. This fertility doc's scheme was bound to fall apart. And so was his hand-made airplane, it turns out. No one would believe it, but that Florida mom trying to ban Amanda Gorman's poem is mixed up in both anti-Semitism and with the Proud Boys! Things James Comer is losing: 1) witnesses; 2) marbles. In MAGA's “good old days,” people knew to fight fascism, even when it was disguised as MAGA.
Longtime listeners know that it's the daily rhythms of KITM World Headquarters that dominate the first few minutes of most shows. And today, it's the end of an era, as we call a wrap on secondary education for the auxiliary production staff! But some cycles of life (and death) continue unabated. For instance, the ever-present Cloud of a Mass Shooting.™ And, of course, developments in Ukraine. Or more specifically, in Russia, as the battlefield is expanded, if not the battle itself. And we lean heavily on the APR today, even though Greg wasn't here, and Greg didn't even write Tuesday's APR — so thanks to Chitown Kev for his unwitting contribution to the show! Naturally, the debt ceiling deal, including Manchin's pipeline gambit and its attendant issues, followed by procedural developments in the Paxton impeachment. And, something we didn't cover in yesterday's abbreviated show: stuff from overseas lands where names are hard to pronounce. For today, that was Türkiye. The only possibly enjoyable angle on Ron DeSantis' presidential bid: he'll eventually have to attack Trump. Though it's still possible that he'll also fall down the stairs like Gerald Ford, too. For something completely different, and yet hearkening back to vague themes from episodes past, noted fist-pump-and-run enthusiast Josh Hawley is the latest to try to address the “crisis” of “masculinity” not with solutions, but with an eye toward exploitation. Joan McCarter once again defies the early West coast timeline and the crush of East coast job demands to join us for an update on the putative debt ceiling deal and to set up the mystery/cliff-hanger/dud of today's House Rules committee meeting.
We at KITM Worldwide hope that you are at the beginning of a happy Memorial Day weekend and are experiencing a meaningful Memorial Day... But, don't run away yet! We know that you love the process discussions on KITM, and that's why you tune in. However, no one loves process discussions like Greg Dworkin loves process discussions. Greg used his considerable sway with top KITM brass to preempt this morning's memorial observations and grill prep in order to help deliver today's KITM Memorial Day Post Debt Ceiling One Hour Special with David Waldman. So, what's in this debt ceiling deal, and more importantly, who won? At the moment, it seems that the correct people are angry. Kevin McCarthy has too many loose cannons rolling around to call this a done deal. The House Rules Committee meeting on Tuesday will give a better idea of what a lousy vote counter McCarthy is. It will also give us better idea on what Hakeem Jeffries is made of. Accountability has not finally come to Texas. For all the wrong reasons, Ken Paxton was impeached, simply a pawn in a petty Republican feud. Ok by me.
On today's Special Friday KITM, David Waldman reports on the local and national news, the murderers, pedophiles, arsonists and catfishers, the cops and the criminals. We are also reaching the denouement of our present debt ceiling crisis. It's either that, or a smash cut to black next week. The Democrats brought the house down in the final act, although it could have used a little more “Trump”. It always helps to have a great opening act though. If you thought the Democrats were on fire, you should have seen the dumpster Texas Republicans threw AG Ken Paxton into. If anyone can place the bar low, it would be the Texas Gop. Nonetheless, Ken Paxton managed to go even lower, for years, until he finally got under it. Speaking of being finally held responsible, Oath Keepers Founder Stewart Rhodes has been sentenced to 18 years in prison. That shouldn't be a problem for a tough guy like Stewie, at least until he runs into the other tough guys he in put in jail. Lifelong warrior against the forces of responsibility and accountability, Donald Trump is caught in a pinscher movement of his own making, from defrauding the US government to serving corruption around the world, to withholding classified documents, to hiding classified documents, to rehearsing the hiding and withholding classified documents. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that not only are Michiganders holding nine Trump lawyers accountable for their misconduct in the state, but they themselves have been demonstrating responsibility at the polls. Faculty members at the New College of Florida are voting to censure Ron DeSantis' puppet Trustees for showing disinterest in performing their actual jobs. The Florida mom who sought to ban Amanda Gorman's poem, yet approved the publication of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, asks how can a mom find the time to actually read all those things she promotes or obstructs? Georgia Gop Chair Kandiss Taylor has taken the time to read every one of the articles that unequivocally reflect her opinions, especially her opinion of a flat earth, and yet every day someone will try to shove their globes down her throat.
One lone Karen was behind the ban on Amanda Gorman's poem. Though Karen was pretty sure it was Oprah Winfrey's. Greg Dworkin rounds up the reviews panning DeSantis' attempted Twitter-based campaign launch. Rough seas ahead for Medicaid enrollees, if the Gop gets its way. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. The judge in the other E. Jean Carroll lawsuit against TFG suggests the DoJ might want to take a moment to reconsider how wise it is to continue to pretend Trump was acting in his capacity as “president,” when he opened his fetid gob. The dog has caught the car, and the car turned out to be a leopard. Dobbs unites Ds, splits Rs. Hey, remember the debt ceiling? While we wait for possible armageddon, here are yet more hot takes on our various options. By the way, did you remember that the debt ceiling and the filibuster are cousins? I don't know if Mike Lee knew that when he threatened to filibuster any deal he doesn't like, but it's true. Apparently, people at Fox News actually do know that “no means no,” when it comes to turning the screws on Tucker Carlson, anyway. Which is fine! Noted for the record, but deferred for further consideration: Ken Paxton is too scummy for the Texas Gop!
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! KITM Wednesday! Everyone expected Ron DeSantis to run for president. Except for maybe Ron DeSantis, who is probably pretty shocked that he did decide to go for it. Of course, if Ron did not run, $200 million would just be sitting in the bank, not going into anyone's pockets, and what good is that? The actual surprise is that DeSantis will launch his presidential bid with Elon Musk, on Twitter. Here's looking forward to the first DeSantis town hall on Tumblr. If CNN want to represent true journalism, they'd… but they don't. There's also Tim Scott announcing his candidacy. Yes, Republicans do enjoy their people of color (and women) as long as they're smiling. Not enough to actually elect them, though. But who do the voters really want? Ok, but who else is there? Donald Trump will only be allowed to run for 20 minutes each morning during exercise time. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. No one will be voting for anyone unless we rescue the economy soon. Which is a good a reason as any for Republicans to oppose saving it. They'd rather shoot their hostage than negotiate with President Joe Biden anyhow. Indeed, why not take this negotiation time to dispatch with a few more hostages? What if the press covered the Supreme Court as if they were real people? Non-woke investments aren't as attractive once they are sued.
David Waldman presents the Tuesday KITM. All of the argle you expect with none of that annoying bargle. Joan McCarter won't be summering in Krasnodar this year, as Vladimir Putin is expanding his enemies list to include anyone unfavorable to MAGA. Marjorie Taylor Greene spent $100,000 for a ChapStick used by Kevin McCarthy. Kind of expensive for her to pay that for cherry, as it would cut into the Kevin flavor... Other than Marj and Kev, people are still being advised to wear masks in public. Donald Trump was the one responsible for Dominion picking up an extra $787 million this year, but somehow received nothing in commission. He's going to need some cash to cover his serial defamation lawsuits with E. Jean Carroll. As luck would have it, the only texts Ron DeSantis did not ban are the ones that look to get him in the most legal trouble. DeSantis is in a race with Trump to get his hands on a Supreme Court to keep himself out of jail. In the meantime, the LOLYOLOMAGASCOTUS shadow docket might lift gun bans nationwide. McCarthy's parched lips are apparently still talking to President Joe Biden about a debt ceiling deal, but that doesn't seem to really be what Kevin's talking out of. The courts will decide on the 14th amendment sooner or later, so Joe might as well take the lead.
On today's KITM, David Waldman reveals that he's almost finished pushing his babies out of the nest and will soon be able to devote all of his time and energy into getting his own breakfast together. Greg Dworkin is here to recoup the deficit in the media's coverage of the debt ceiling fiasco. Kevin McCarthy has been betting with a very weak hand, but that hasn't stopped him on continuing to raise the stakes. The outcome will be disastrous, if we even approach default. President Joe Biden is still trying “good cop, bad cop” when he probably needs to just go “bad cop” and let the courts sort it out. You'd think that Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani selling pardons would have been a big deal, but it was so unsurprising and expected that the media passed right over it. Alvin Bragg's case against Trump points to plenty of statutes violated, but if tfg campaigned from prison would much change? Now, if he were to be re-elected, that would leave a mark. Trump's simple 2024 proposition is to break any law he wants, and to declare anybody he chooses to be a lawbreaker. Savvy critics such as Axios say that the Donald Trump plan to rebalance power to the executive branch just doesn't seem to have the funding in place to be successful.
On KITM, David Waldman cleans out the news and opinion fridge each week, then on Fridays scoops the rest off of the floor, metaphorically, I believe. “You go woke, you go broke”, some say. That's Ron DeSantis' working theory anyhow, although that theory might need a bit more work before it reaches any general acceptance. Of course, anti-woke's biggest fans hope that everyone stays asleep while they burgle their valuables. Robocallers out of Wisconsin picked up $89 million from the dopes who still answer their phones, who also thought they were helping firefighters and veterans. If you had $89 million, you'd donate it to Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. The FBI raided a Trump Tower owned by a couple of Russians, in yet another example of the weaponization of government against “organized crime”, and quite often Trump organized crime. Gym Jordan won't share “whistleblower” testimony with Democrats, because if he did Dems would just make fun of him some more. Russia doesn't need Trump when they have Boeing and Airbus. Senator Dianne Feinstein has shingles, encephalitis, Ramsay Hunt syndrome, and probably a lot more. But she's apparently here, ostensibly voting, and work is getting done, let's not wear her out with a lot of stress.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin marshal their wits one last time this week for the Thursday KITM: Tuesday's elections showed Democrats (by the way of young voters) advancing everywhere across the board, not just overperforming Republicans, but reopening the front to win back rural voters, kind of like how George Washington won the Battle of Fort Necessity in 1754… Okay, nothing like that really, because little can compare to Donald Trump and his MAGA forces. Certainly not Ron DeSantis. Ron is making trans lives illegal in Florida and will be outlawing “pronouns”, earning him the endearment of no one, because who would expect such haters to actually like anyone? Well, they used to like Tucker Carlson. Tuck's viewers found a short blip of hate at CNN's town hall, but it just didn't last. CNN's chief international anchor, Christiane Amanpour, is one of the first to criticize her company and her boss on their lamebrain idea. Town halls, audiences and Donald Trump should be abolished from TV before 2024. Now Vice President Kamala Harris... Who wouldn't want to have a beer with her, or a town hall? President Joe Biden not only has to fight ageism, but there are plenty of closet sexists he has to also worry about. A new federal lawsuit says Florida book bans are unconstitutional, which is not only a problem for Florida zealots, but any others using those “book banning in a box” kits nationwide. North Carolina Republican Jeffrey McNeely reached into the totally wrong box in his school choice debate. Twitter, a forum for diverse ideas, opinions, child porn and animal torture, has become exactly the rectum Elon Musk has always dreamt of spending his every waking moment and dollar inside. President Guillermo Lasso of Ecuador, no relation to Ted, will not only take his ball and go home, but plans to just dissolve the league before he exits the field.
David Waldman wishes you all a festive, yet introspective, National Day of Norway. Greg Dworkin rounds up the election news, which looks pretty good for Democrats, especially in how it looks bad for Republicans. The Trump culture of winning, that is losing, is alive in Kentucky and elsewhere. In a major upset, Florida Democrat Donna Deegan becomes Jacksonville's first female mayor. A non-Republican also flipped the most Republican city in Colorado. As all politics is local, voters like their most local politicians to be Democratic. Nebraska forced two bad bills into one, and now plans to force it through the legislature, which might break rules and not follow procedure, but they really don't know what they're doing, so how would they know? Once there is a Republican majority, that is all they have to know, and after that the rest is optional. Republicans do understand force, and their plan is to teach us all the meaning of “might makes right”. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Germany show us how it's done. Don't knock John Durham. The job was to make a lot out of nothing, and John did make a lot of money, visited a lot of beautiful tourist spots around the world, and generally expense accounted for a lot longer than most people could ever dream to pull off. In between swipes of his American Express card, Durham artfully repackaged old investigations into new BS, then regifted it back to MAGA propagandists. Over at The Messenger… well not there, as the link 404s out, but according to some people, The Messenger rates the report at less than half of a nothing burger. Don't knock The Messenger. Its job also is to make a lot out of nothing.
Like a bad—nay, loathsome—penny, Rudy Colludy returns. This time, it's noun, verb, sexual assault. Calling all Privateers of the Caribbean!™ Clarence Thomas' billionaire pal Harlan Crow has bought himself an offshore dual citizenship. The House of Representatives has been… less than representative for quite some time, now. From time to time, there have been proposals to expand it, and thereby hopefully bring the Representatives a bit closer to their constituencies. But… where would they put them all? Well, they could make a little more room by getting rid of Paul Gosar, seeing as he's been employing Nazis and all. Joan McCarter came by to count down the seconds left until we hit the debt ceiling. Remember when certain bloggers urged Congressional Dems to take the debt ceiling hostage off the table while they still could? But then they didn't? Yeah, me too. Well, now there are only a few options left, besides, well, just giving in. Meanwhile, other looming disasters include a backhanded, shadow docket SCOTUS ban on gun bans, and Rep. Comer's continuing insistence that the dog ate his homework, but would probably barf it up soon, soon, very soon. Perhaps two weeks, or some other very short period of time.
Following a long weekend David Waldman was back at KITM World Headquarters humming Pomp and Circumstance and expecting a light news day. Greg Dworkin changed all that with his Heapin' Raft O' Stories™. You may recall that sexual assault and defamation verdict against the former guy last week. Donald re-defamed E Jean Carroll a few hours later, so perhaps Carroll could rinse and repeat until Trump gets it, if we should live so long. Mirror universe Michael Dukakis, Ron DeSantis isn't just awkward. Ron hates people right down to his core. At least Trump enjoys using people. Some people like to be used. DeSantis and his followers are just into the beat down, which only succeeds for so long. The prospect of Trump's nomination is shrinking the Senate's prospects in 2024. Virginia is the eighth red state to quit caring about voter fraud. James Comer was so close to sending every Democrat since the Carter administration to Gitmo, but then his dog ate all the witnesses. That's ok, they can always make some new ones. President Joe Biden's first veto takes on the Republicans' war on “woke capitalism”. If they love Russia so much, why don't they move there? Religious Gimme-terians tend to be Political Gimme-tarians when it suits them, of course. They just need to follow their faith to the correct precinct.
David Waldman is attending his #1 son's graduation! It seems like only yesterday we were listening to the little guy running the microwave and clinking silverware on plates… Sniff! So, David is traveling today and out tomorrow. Today, however, we have a fresh pre-recorded Mini-KITM episode, at least mini for us at one hour: Last night CNN had TFG on for the longest hour in TV history. Now even they are asking “Whose fault was that?” The answer is, every single one of us. We need to straighten up soon before it's too late. South Carolina State Senators have formed a group opposed to the abortion ban in their state. The group is comprised of all of the state's women Senators, Republican, Democratic, and Independent. It is South Carolina we're talking about, so there's only five of them. Oklahoma is banning more than a dozen banks for “being too woke”. You know that since it is Oklahoma, their definition of “woke” isn't centered around CRT or LGBTQ, but OIL. Saudi Arabia is pumping water out of the Arizona desert to grow alfalfa to feed to their dairy cattle in their desert.
On the road for college kid's graduation, so it's into the Hot Tub Podcast Time Machine! We go so far back, May 12 was a Thursday! That's a full year back! If you don't remember it exactly as it happened, here's a reminder: Not to underestimate you, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin probably deliver as much KITM as you can handle today. Russia continues to not win in Ukraine. Some would say they are losing. Some, like the Institute for the Study of War. Some, like Ukrainian soldier on the ground in charge of blowing up stuff, Максим. Sanctions are turning Russia into a place Borat would be ashamed to work for. Russia is pulling electronics out of their washing machines in order to keep their military running. Russian soldiers will wish they had pulled the SIM cards from their phones when the Switchblades lock on them. Remember when Republicans openly loved Russia? If only public opinion mattered to abortion rights. Mitch McConnell is unlikely to dump the filibuster to ban abortion until the very second he can. Joe Manchin might be a Republican, but that doesn't mean he always votes on a party line… unless it's against abortion rights. Well, that Supreme Court leak investigation deescalated quickly. Susan Collins and Stephen King live in the same neighborhood, of course. One of their neighbors used chalk on the sidewalk, not for hopscotch or Valentine's hearts, but in order to deeply concern Susan Collins. Elon Musk is bored with Tesla. Soon, he will be bored with Twitter. A popular GQP wacko might out-Trump all Republicans in Pennsylvania. She might even win her Senate nomination before conceding her 2020 House loss. That is Trumpy. The important elections however are for secretaries of state, as they are the ones who will install future Trumps. The math wasn't going Donald Trump's way in 2020, so John Eastman had a plan to install his own math. Baked Alaska came up with the novel idea of pleading guilty with a side-plea of innocence for his involvement on the insurrection January 6. Too novel for the judge, apparently. The January 6 Committee subpoenaed Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Mo Brooks, Andy Biggs and Scott Perry, which is a good start.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin LOL at TFG. That was the main order of the day, and there were multiple angles of approach available from which to do it. From watching Gop Senators' sputtering reactions, to watching the Gop rank and file's sputtering reactions, to watching, er… Chris Christie supporters' sputtering reactions. Oh, and pollsters' sputtering reactions at having to measure people's sputtering reactions. But perhaps you were more interested in sputtering reactions to some other Gop figure's legal woes. George Santos, as usual, would have you more than adequately covered. Need still another despicable Gop figure to revile? How about Tucker Carlson and his legion of degenerate nihilists? The execrable Lindsey Graham? Or perhaps you prefer to focus on the vapid destructiveness of Gop policy, in the form of debt ceiling and budgetary recklessness? Or what could happen once we're forced to clean up the mess? “Inflation.” It sucks. Or at least, something that they're telling us is inflation does. Hey, guess where bad guys get their guns? From “good guys” with guns, of course. Or “good guys” who had guns at the time, anyway. And just to take one last (completely fair) shot at TFG, he doesn't just assault women.
David Waldman and Joan McCarter bring us up-to-date, and up-to-Tuesday morning news and opinion. While we bide our time waiting for the next mass shooting, the media informs us that several very nice people have been killed by a very bad person. However, Greg Abbott and the Right want you to believe that both sides are to blame. You know what? So does the media. Both sides (all of them women) join to block South Carolina's near-total abortion ban. Ron DeSantis has picked Disney as the hill to die on and will pave the road there in radioactive waste. In Florida, butt crack = pornography, thus all Floridians are criminals. A Wisconsin judge is ordering that the state elections commission reconsider a complaint against its fake electors. Stewart Rhodes wants the court to consider his years of running an "all-volunteer" organization, AKA the “bin Laden” defense. Enrico Tarrio wonders how his boss got away with it. Donald Trump wonders why everyone's always picking on him. Harlan Crow sure isn't paying for your kid's school, because that would be a lousy investment. Anita Hill did raise a few red flags over Clarence Thomas, as you may recall. Those red flags have only multiplied over the decades. Dick Durbin has “everything is on the table”, where he plans to pretty much just leave it. Gerald Ford showed that Supreme Court justices could be impeached... or not impeached as the case may be. Trump and McConnell already packed the Supreme Court, and they, and you, and I probably won't live to see that changed. Meanwhile, Republicans threaten the world economy unless they are allowed to destroy the US economy. President Joe Biden will keep trying to fix things, but the hero might just end up being… Mitch McConnell?
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another KITM Under the Cloud special, which ain't so special anymore. There is no reward for reaching the 200th mass shooting of 2023. Presently, there is always the threat of being shot because taking lives has never been easier or more convenient. The Allen, Texas shooter didn't take the time to park his car. The Brownsville, Texas killer was too lazy to even use a gun. Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott couldn't be bothered to think of anything new to say or plan to have anything new to do. They see massacres as natural disasters, “acts of God”, so let God fix it. In fact, why do anything if God will do it all for you? Let's pray that the latest slaughter will bring an epiphany to those who can enact change. For now, however it is a civil war, but only with one side fighting it. Texas mass shootings are up 62.5% since they passed their permitless carry bill. President Joe Biden prepares to lift the debt ceiling onto his own shoulders. Republicans don't mind ruining everything, because it all seems to hurt Biden and help Donald Trump… at least in the short term, and isn't that always their plan? The short term is certainly how the media sees things, and certainly how they plan on seeing Trump, because who wants to hear about all that past unpleasantness? Wouldn't it be fun if Donald received a gag order the day of his town hall? At least eight of Trump's fake electors in Georgia accepted immunity deals in that grand jury investigation. Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes might get 25 years in prison. A lot of pigeons will be fighting for that stool.
David Waldman wishes us a happy Dia Cinco de KITM Celebraciones! Another day another set of specifics on why no one has trusted Clarence and Ginni Thomas for a least a generation. Leonard Leo, whose job is buying influence, bought $1.6 billion worth recently, paying a chunk through bagwoman Kellyanne Conway into the pockets of Ginni Thomas, making certain to not mention Ginni, which makes them all look as innocent as hell. The Proud Boys find themselves going to jail, much to their, and their followers' surprise. Punching up, instead of punching down was the big mistake, and the Boys learned their lesson. MAGA learned the lesson of January 6: People get in trouble for insurrection, therefore the people you want in trouble must be insurrecting. Texas prison guards put a woman in isolation for knowing more about abortion than they did. Texas schools, concerned that kids nowadays have become too into idolatry, adultery, and covetousness, are posting the Ten Commandments in every classroom. That might be Moses' thing, but Jesus would not do that. In Ohio, Republicans are quickly shutting down voting rights and hope to slide it in August, when no one's looking. Meanwhile, Oregon Republicans refuse to vote on things with the big words that wear their lips out. Ace KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor marks the retirement of Michigan's last racial/ethnic school mascot. Covid drops to the fourth biggest killer, so you know WHO declares the emergency over. Fox News demands that Media Matters quit publishing their Tucker Carlson leaks. Jim Justice is running against Joe Manchin for Senator. Many hope that Jim'll win so he can pay them the money he owes.
Aye! May the farth be with ye! Arrrrh! Wait... I've just been notified by the control room that I'm referencing the wrong holiday… Us let check in with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin the latest news, on? Hmmmm? Yes? Hm? Harlan Crow paid the private tuition of over $6000 per month for Clarence Thomas' grandnephew. Buddies pay for expensive installments so that their buddies will stay buddies throughout the payment period. It was mighty white of Tucker Carlson to hold the same standards behind and in front of the camera. Those are Fox standards as well, so that just isn't why Carlson was fired. Nonetheless, Fox is paying the price for his loss. Donald Trump doesn't like losers, so he's heading over to CNN for a “town hall”, which is scheduled right in Tuck's old time slot, in case a few hundred thousand Tucker fans have nothing to do that night. If CNN wants to reduce the harm of giving Trump the microphone it can, but if it's setting up to be Fox Lite, it won't. There's still money to be made off Trump. How much or how long no one knows, and some don't care. Donald's lawsuit against his niece and the New York Times has been thrown out. Trump apparently had something better to do than attend his own trial for rape. E. Jean Carroll would have been the one being punished had she pushed to convict Donald Trump any earlier. Even now, it takes more than two dozen Trump rape victims to even count. Once the diligent jury on the Proud Boys sedition trial got their stapler, they were ready to give their verdict, guilty of seditious conspiracy for Jan. 6 Capitol attack. Roger Stone's barrel beckons him. Now if you want to see a guy go to jail, keep your eye on Herschel Walker, because should be soon and it will be quick. Ohio Republicans solution to potentially losing a vote on abortion rights is to eliminate the right to vote. Oregon Republicans just eliminate anyone's chance of voting.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin our present our annual KITM Star Wars Day Eve Special, this year spoken in Shyriiwook for all our Kashyyyk followers! Huurh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw uuh huuguughghg! Another day, another Tucker Carlson Fox leak. No, that wasn't why Carlson was fired. That's how they all talk at Fox. Expect scandalous Tucker Carlson leaks to continue until Rupe's ex admits that she was wrong to crush on Tuck. Ron DeSantis isn't the first child to throw a fit at Disneyworld, and sure won't be the last. Disney has been setting up to win this case for a while now, and by “win” they mean to make DeSantis and his supporters lose. That whole thing about law cutting both ways has always annoyed conservatives, chiefly the part about the defendant discovering what the other side has up its sleeve. The Right doesn't care how much money they need to pour into court manipulation, or who they pour it into, although that is one of the reasons why George Mason University doesn't call it the David Waldman School of Law. Bidenomics has replaced Reaganomics, and yet no one seems to be happy about anything anymore. Republicans therefore see little downside in just burning it all down, especially Marjorie Traitor Greene. Kevin McCarthy's problem is that each Republican House member thinks that they are Marjorie Traitor Greene. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and debt limit chicken, so nobody will be blinking soon. Democrats have seen this coming however and might have some procedural tricks up their sleeves. Maybe everyone's been doing the debt limit wrong all along.
May returns for a second May-filled day, on KITM, featuring David Waldman, plus Joan McCarter! Some lefty “Kagrohead” recently penetrated the MSM, appearing on CBS's Face the Nation as a parent weighing in on how gun violence is impacting their children. (And I got my bird into the background!) This National Teacher Day, show your appreciation and support by keeping guns away from them and schools and challenging gun nuts whenever possible. The US debt ceiling needs to be raised by June. That's June 1st, by the way. And, with the way things are organized in DC, June 1st is sooner than you'd think or at least sooner than they think. In fact, Mitch McConnell says he doesn't even plan to get involved until Kevin McCarthy and President Joe Biden work things out. Joe needs to leave Kevin and Mitch out of this and go it alone. So much for that Gop promise to “save” Social Security and Medicare. The Senate will hold hearings on the real pain being delivered in the Republican plan. Ethics reforms? John Roberts says his gang don't need no stinking ethics reforms, as they move to grab even more power for themselves and fellow judges. They've been corrupted for years, and now people want to talk about it? Fox News is going to leak a new Tucker Carlson story every day until Rupert Murdoch gets a new fiancée who likes him better. I think we can all agree that this is a good idea. Discord attracts US Armed Forces recruiters, foreign spy recruiters, and gamers. When it's everybody vs. everyone, anything is possible, and everything is up for grabs.
It's May Day ya commies! In fact, it is even if you aren't. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin frolic and banter around the KITM maypole/microphone today to kick off the month. Donald Trump's rape trial reveals Trump's defense: E. Jean Caroll told Donald no... and laughed, naturally triggering Trump's rape... am I right guys? Even Trump's lawyers see this as not a winning gambit but argue that anytime Trump “loses” it would be unfair by definition... Denied! How is Donald Trump losing his other court cases? Quite bigly! Trump is losing just fine in Georgia, although DA Fani Willis gets some more time to work out how much. Special Counsel Jack Smith must be grinning ear to ear watching evidence pouring in from all corners on everything from Mar-a-Lago to January 6th. Presented with an opportunity for insurrection, January 6 rioters didn't need to discuss what to do and didn't hesitate because they had rehearsed that moment many times in their heads. Brett Kavanaugh, if your friends take your penis and rub it on an unconsenting girl's face, they aren't really your friends. First Republic Bank fails, is seized and sold. That's the kind of thing that might come up in the 2024 elections. So will Republicans defaulting on the debt ceiling. Beware Nikki Haley pretending that she's a moderate… and also Joe F Lieberman. There's an art to running for President. Joe Biden has the artist's touch, all he needs is to do is both keep his brushstrokes wide and pay attention to the details.
David Waldman delivers the Last KITM of the Week as usual, towards the end of the week, but unusually, with a time slot devoted to showcase up and coming talent. No, not Nick Mohammed, but Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor, here to explain how the youngs are taking over the world, a phenomenon somewhat underappreciated by some of the olds. Tucker Carlson, about to be handed the helm of the SS Newsmax about ten feet from impact with Dominion, enjoys pulling the wings off flies, nearly as much as convincing others to do so. Now, is that Christian behavior? Well, it is the behavior Rupert Murdoch's fiancée swooned over, which could be why she's an ex-fiancée, and Tucker's an ex-Fox employee. Vladimir Putin's public acts of religious piety make him more powerful and even more dangerous, so a no-brainer on that decision. What does Donald Trump want from another term? Revenge. If he needs to promise MAGA voters revenge, that's OK with him too. The Senate voted to overturn Biden's truck pollution limit, 50-49 without Dianne Feinstein. Trump says electric car batteries throw dirt in the air. Supreme Court justices aren't supervised, and like it that way. Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr returns to work but is still ostracized by the Gop in control. Meanwhile, Kansas has banned trans people from schools, prisons, women's shelters, rape crisis shelters, and locker rooms. A Nebraska Democratic lawmaker is under investigation because she has a trans child. Marjorie Traitor Greene not only believes transgenderism is as dangerous as guns, she believes the danger of guns is transgenderism... Or that transgenderism is mass shooting? Gee, who knows with her. The only way transgender persecution will be addressed is when enough Republican children choose to be trans. A Washington target shooter missed his target and hit a nearby orchard worker in the face. A guy excused himself from a date to go shoot someone, and returned before his order was served. A failed Gop candidate stepped out of a Republican committee meeting to fetch his gun.
Pull up a chair, bring out your bag of Eastern Orthodox pretzels, (Which are kind of a thing? Maybe I shouldn't open with this gag? Oh well.) and listen to today's Thursday KITM with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Tucker Carlson's prayer talk creeped Rupert Murdoch out, but kind of turned on Rupe's soon-to-be ex-fiancé... In retrospect, that could have been seen as a “faux pas”, or maybe a “Fox pass” on Tucker's part. Perhaps it was calling Fox senior executive the C-word, and refusing to apologize, or retract said word, or that he was a racist who would never shut up, or that he was a clear danger to America... I guess we'll never know, as anonymous sources are every bit as full of crap as he is. Like Gilgamesh, or even Gargamel, his is a myth that grows upon repetition. What is true is that Tucker Carlson not only liked to pull the wings off of flies, but Tucker also made it his mission to convert millions into finding joy and comfort in that same manner. What will wing-pullers do without their influencer messiah? What will Carlson's parasites do without their host? What will Tucker do without them? Republicans have almost arrived at their singularity, when they'll finally become completely unbound to reality. For now, unfortunately, they are still with us, barely, under the hapless administration of Kevin McCarthy. Yep, it's going to be Trump vs. Biden again. Except this time, people know Joe Biden, and people really know Donald Trump. Nikki Haley offers her hopes and prayers. What do the polls say? Over the course of a decade, Nate Silver worked to make it clear that he was no prognosticator. Silver was more of an artist, whose artistry could be interpreted variously, and should be interpreted while averaged with others. A federal appeals court stopped Donald Trump's attempt to block Mike Pence from testifying before the January 6th grand jury. The Proud Boys want to thank Donald for where they are today. E. Jean Carroll also explains how Trump brought her to this point. Disney's suing Ron DeSantis. Ron says they're just being political. Many fine people on both sides are getting tired of Clarence Thomas. Aside from using classified info to win arguments with teenagers, it also appears that Jack Teixeira was really into mass shootings. But after all, what soldier playing on the internet isn't?
David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and all the staff here at KITM Worldwide wish a merry and joyous National Pretzel Day to all those who observe. Tucker Carlson remains under his contractually obligated rock today following his ouster from woke Fox News. Was it Tuck's sexism that got him fired? Or his endangerment of racial and religious minorities, LGBTQ, and national security? Or was he going to lose Rupert money? No, seriously, why did Fox News fire Tucker Carlson? It doesn't matter what Carlson truly believes. All Tucker truly believes in is pulling the wings off flies. Election 2024, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Joe Biden is the sequel no one wanted to see, but the good news is, it looks to be a rehash of the original. “The Tennessee Three” are being followed up by “the Montana One”, which so far seems as exciting, and hopefully ends as satisfyingly as the first. Disney certainly knows how to do a plot twist. Speaking of plot twists, adding Ted Cruz schemes into the January 6th insurrection could tie up many loose threads. Forget sex or money, the best way to get any secret is to tell a boy that he's dumb, and it turns out that there are a lot of dumb boys in our Armed Services. Republicans looking over the fiscal cliff have started to panic and are throwing out favors and a few of the rules to keep from going over.
Today, David Waldman and the KITM staff celebrate not being fired or hired by Rupert Mudoch. Hey, remember Tucker Carlson? Tuck was sort of a prep school Lou Dobbs or that villain in a teen movie who wears a Brooks Brothers sweater like a cape over his Lacrosse polo. Anyhow, Fox News fired Tucker on a Monday morning, in front of his crew, for maximum disrespect, like a mob hit that can't go open casket. Not that his crew had that much respect for him, or vice versa. In fact, they've already forgotten him. Whatever reason Rupert chose to take out Carlson, it wasn't the right one. As Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been telling us, (paraphrased) Ottawa County, Michigan has been cluster-FUBARed through a wingnut insurgency. Wait until they find out their new jobs require working. Southern fried wingnuts in Florida are turning off both voters and bigots. Coming this Summer: The Fulton County Indictments! Why not now? Why is Fani Willis making us wait sooooo long? Powerful judges seem to always be trying to strike a balance between lower ethics and larger paydays. About a week after his confirmation, Neil Gorsuch finally sold a couple million dollars' worth of future goodwill and friendship with a guy destined to bring dozens of cases before him. Gorsuch didn't think to mention this transaction, nor did fellow Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk think to disclose between 5 to 25 million bucks worth of his camaraderie. Senator Ed Markey is calling on Clarence Thomas to resign, all because of his billionaire sugar buddy Harlan Crow. Joan McCarter tells us that it's time for Senator Dianne Feinstein to retire, primarily because Senator Joe Manchin won't. No one knows what the hell Dick Durbin is doing, but everyone can see what Mitch McConnell has planned.
Tucker Carlson is out at Fox. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn't specifically address that on today's show, mostly because Fox hadn't announced it yet, and yet Tuck's firing was the subject of today's KITM: the price of extremism is high, and the bills are just beginning to come due. You got to figure that Smartmatic really has the goods on Fox, but that doesn't mean that Dominion is slowing down any time soon. Ron DeSantis is looking like the Tucker Carlson of politics right now. Donald Trump is beating Ron to win the losing side of the 2024 election, supported by the people who believe he's still president. Trump can't commit a crime big enough to lose their vote. MAGA will pay any price to avoid admitting they were wrong. On the other hand, Democrats believe that every decision they make might be a huge mistake, and that every decision made by a fellow Democrat is surely one. However, until they find a presidential candidate with the temperament, experience, and accomplishments of Joe Biden under 40, Joe will have to do. Republicans are promising to be civil… Freshman Democrat Jeff Jackson says that they will act civilly once you quit giving them attention. Republicans do a lot for attention, but they will do much more for money. Amarillo Judge Mathew Kacsmaryk would rather not talk about those decisions he made and that money he's taken though. Even the Trump Supreme Court might be becoming a bit shy.
David Waldman presents another episode in KITM's popular What the Hell is Wrong with These People? ™ series as we travel throughout the Midwest asking, “What the Hell is wrong with these people?” This being Friday, there is a small but increasing chance that this KITM will feature an AI generated “David Waldman” with intonation and mannerisms scraped from audio samples, however chatbot “Scott Anderson” would have said something by now, wouldn't he? Off we go, back to Tennessee, where Republicans rolled a 1 on their d20 on the Tennessee Three expulsion and have just gone downhill from there. Of course, they did earn some of their bad luck. Rep. Scotty Campbell sexually harassed interns before his expulsion vote. It's just that Campbell would have gotten away with all that before those news crews started to hang around. On the same day the Tennessee House voted to expel The Three, they voted to eliminate oversight on the police for their two biggest cities. That sort of thing gets noticed now. Over to Minnesota, where State Senator/ 80's Sportscaster Eric Lucero battles necromancy and whatever spells Liberals cast to conjure wokeness. And finally, to Michigan and Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor. US mass killings happen at least every week, gun owners taking a bead on each other in fear that someone will get the drop on them first. Some Michiganders have noted the danger and are setting up sanctuaries to create safe spaces for guns. If only the Michigan Republican Party had thought of drunken 2A solutions in that Clare, Michigan hotel bar...
Happy 4/20! David Waldman was not old and/or high enough to pick up on Justice Putnam's “Dave's Not Here” reference and so we weren't certain if we were high and/or off the air this morning. Thankfully, we got it all straightened out and had the windows open before Greg Dworkin got here. Elon Musk is going to want something stronger by 4:20 today, seeing that his Starship lit up like a Tesla out of warrantee this morning. Fox News had to pay about $800 million to keep “News” on its logo this week, which may not be the $1.6 billion we wanted, but no worries, they will be paying in installments over the next couple of years. Fox will keep up the fight... except for Dan Bongino, Maria Bartiromo, and Jeanie Pirro. Next time Donald Trump is on, maybe they can ask him for tax advice. Too bad they can't fire their viewers. January 6th's Zip Tie Guy has been convicted and could be sentenced to 20 years. It might be tough for his mom to visit him, as she is going to a different wing of the penitentiary. Why should the public view the horrific aftermath of the Sandy Hook Massacre, when they can just step outside and look at their neighbor's front yard? The Republican party has a plan to alienate every swing voter in America. House Republicans plan to raise the debt ceiling for just one year, if they can get permission from George Santos and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Dick Durbin can only dream of wielding such awesome power. The Gop will lose with Trump, but know that DeSantis is not the solution. Anyhow, who needs a solution when they have Trump? The 2nd circuit court of appeals has granted a brief stay of the district court ruling against Alvin Bragg, which blocks for now the deposition of his former aide, Mark Pomerantz. Kari Lake wants the Supreme Court to reconsider one of her election claims it already had rejected and offers to debate any anonymous troll who steps up. Amarillo Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk might have hid his wackiest stuff from his Senate confirmation hearings.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another fine KITM, always providing the most for your entertainment/information dollar and bath time listening. Just think, if you and Dominion Voting Systems donated only 1% of your disposable income as convenient monthly payments, how much democracy and joviality could be preserved? Fox wins! Fox found a way to screw over all of their competitors by killing that cash cow of hourly Dominion v. Fox updates everyone had spent months investing in. Of course, getting pantsed and spending $787.5 Million was a bit steep of a price, but it was a small price to pay... in comparison to all the other prices they will be shortly paying. Gop fake electors have begun to turn on each other. Ruptured Republicans smile through their pain as they mark their first 100 days of suffering and look forward to even worse as Kevin McCarthy thrusts them into their debt ceiling fiasco. Remember Kevin's promises about border security? Dems can take over any time now. Ron DeSantis (Ted Cruz, but with pudding on his fingers) has chosen to die on Disney hill. Donald Trump beats on Ron mostly for fun right now, but DeSantis could become an irritation along the primary trail. Republicans will never go sane once they tasted the crazy. Don't worry, Democrats can still find a way to make 2024 painfully close. Dick Durbin won't give up blue slips no matter how worthless they become. He might reconsider after Dianne Feinstein retires, or maybe after he does. Liberal judges continue to exist, but meanwhile the Iowa Senate passes their child labor bill. The Trump Supreme Court hurries to find an excuse to ban mifepristone. Charlottesville torch-carrying marchers indicted for torch-carrying! After all burning crosses is only symbolic right when they are lit and they look like burning crosses. Russia has a fleet of vessels set to sabotage wind farms and communication lines. Elliott Broidy can't stop criming! Of course, $75 million helps.
Tuesday already? David Waldman gave Joan McCarter barely enough time to get her voice back, but the show must go on! The frontier around the Castle Doctrine is always being tested. Do you shoot at doorbell ringers, postal workers, pizza delivery? Or is approaching your castle good enough? Republicans don't care much, as their delusions are bulletproof. Gen Z has not been groomed to put up with this. Texas Republican Bryan Slaton wants to “protect kids” from “perverted” the LGBTQ+ who want to “sexualize them,” Bryan has been… whaaa? accused of an “inappropriate relationship” ? South Dakota Senate candidate Joel Koskan heads to the South Dakota State Penitentiary on two counts of felony incest. Stop the Steal founder Ali Alexander requested and critiqued teen boy “jack off material” from young groypers, offending the moral sensibilities of Milo Yiannopoulos, Nick Fuentes and Marjorie Taylor Greene. There is no statute of limitations on felonies in Virginia, which includes the torch burning Charlottesville White nationalists' burning of torches. Four Oklahoma county officials were recorded talking about hiring hit men for reporters, not being able to hang black men and a few more deplorable things. The Sheriff's department covered their bases, saying the recordings are fake, and that it was illegal to record them. George Santos announced his bid for reelection and reported immediately raising more than one hundred billion dollars in donations. Dianne Feinstein requested to be temporarily replaced on the Judiciary Committee while recovering from shingles. Republicans have come down on that idea like a ton of bricks, while Dick Durbin and Chuck Schumer raised their tiny parasols for protection.
It's quiet, too quiet! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you a pleasant Eastern Orthodox DC Emancipation Day. We had hoped to cover the open of Dominion v. Fox season, but that was EO-ed over to tomorrow. Fox will take advantage of the extra time to dig itself a deeper hole. Don't believe everything Fox tells you, as if you'd ever. One day is no big deal. The only downside is that Gym Jordan soundbites might get more airtime. Senator Dianne Feinstein remains Senator and remains old. She has been both for a long time. Air National Guardsman Jack Teixeira was charged under the Espionage Act, not to be confused with Air National Guardsman Josiah Ernesto Garcia, arrested in connection with a murder-for-hire scheme, and probably now hoping to get on Marjorie Taylor Greene's good side. How did Jack Teixeira leak so much information? How did the FBI track him down? How did the press track him down just as quickly? Are there only a few good men in the Armed Forces? While we seem to get dumber, Russia seems to be getting smarter. Donald Trump warns the Religious Right that it's either that loser God or him, but it looks as if Republicans are hoping to keep that threesome going no matter what, just maybe a bit on the down-low through the elections. A majority of Americans say Republicans should shut up about wokeness, but Republicans do hate to shut up, especially about, ironically enough, banning books. Now the public is telling them to shut up about that too. Gen Z pretty much has the Obama and Trump eras to compare in their lives and now are taking control. Glenn Youngkin is the latest loser of the 2024 Presidential election. There are many more to come, they just don't know it yet. One Black doctor in any county means Black residents will live longer there.
David Waldman delivers us to the weekend… but so does Greg Dworkin! Greg's Ov'rloaded Raft O' Stories™ couldn't have stayed afloat another day. Dianne Feinstein is under the weather, though not quite far enough for some of her pals. Feinstein is stepping down from the Judiciary Panel, but if that is not enough, there will be some challenges. Harlan Crow bought a house for Clarence Thomas' mother, which Thomas already owned, and his mother already lived in, as one does for one's buddy. Clarence wouldn't disclose such a friendly gesture. God-fearing, patriotic, health-conscious, well-educated, well-raised, well-liked, and well-respected... yet young and naive, Jack (He's White) Teixeira made friends with the other boys and impressed strangers by wowing them with his espionage skills. Donald Trump should take notes from Jack, although if he did, he would have sold them by now. Donald presently is in New York dazzling lawyers for Attorney General Letitia James with his superior wit and intellect. Trump met with Evangelicals in the hope they'd maybe talk to God and get Him to ease up a bit on that abortion stuff. Short-term presidential candidate Tim Scott doesn't know what to say, literally. Democrats have a 28-point advantage on abortion, pretty much the story across the nation. Here's why this is bad news for Joe Biden… Actually, if there's anybody you can count on to walk into a trap, it's Ron DeSantis. Ignoring Florida's history (of course), Ron will ban abortion 6 weeks after conception. DeSantis has only just begun deliver Florida and himself to hell. Ace KITM Correspondent Roslyn MacGregor shares the secret of her success (“It's easy peasy!”) and reports on Ron DeSantis bringing his Florida magic to Michigan., where the woke go to get away from MAGA. Amarillo judge Matt Kacsmaryk's Mifepristone decision is indefensible, and yet somehow it needs to be defended against, or else Amarillo judges will end up ruling the United States. That is the Supreme Court's job. Therefore, Judge Thomas Rice enters for the block.
David Waldman goes solo again! Greg Dworkin remains on assignment covering the ancillary bank holiday jubilee through the agency of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Weather permitting, Greg will be steaming back into port tomorrow. The Washington post broke today's big story in a manner Mark Sumner loathed, yet WAPO's sugarcoating couldn't hide the shocking details. Secret Pentagon documents were leaked in near-real-time to a Discord server frequented by Minecraft players. It now looks as if the leaker was an Air National Guard in his twenties trying to impress, and groom, teenage boys. Of course, Donald Trump psychokinetically declassified any documents before showing them off… unless he could get more money for them as-is. Trump gave an interview with Tucker Carlson, who unfortunately couldn't comment on much of what was said due to his rectal vantagepoint. We all know that no one is more generous than Donald Trump, but there just ain't room for two, so off went Lindsey Graham to pop in on Mohammed bin Salman, presumably to a different pocket than Jared Kushner. Trump now heads to Nashville, where he could, but probably won't, meet with the Tennessee Three. Meanwhile, the Arizona House expelled a member! And she's a Republican! And it was because of election denial lies!
Greg Dworkin is out today, putting his money where his mouth is… at the dentist. Can it even be a Wednesday if only David Waldman is here? Odds are there will probably be another mass shooting this week, even though some aren't finished being idiots about the previous ones. Louisville's mayor finds that the killer's AR-15 is better protected than his victims. At least Tennessee's Governor Bill Lee was inspired to sign an executive order strengthening background checks. Lee is a Republican, but somebody had to do it. Oh yeah, that was the reason Justins Pearson and Jones were expelled from the Tennessee House wasn't it? Justin Jones is already back at work, and Justin Pearson could be back as soon as tomorrow. The free market has spoken. Popular handgun SIG Sauer P320 turns on its owners when it wants to, and there is nothing they can do about it. Why do Republicans keep doing bigoted, extremist, dumb things? Because that's who votes for them. It's also what the boss wants. It turns out that Rupert Murdoch isn't just the owner and chairman of Fox, he's a corporate officer at Fox News. Former Fox producer Abby Grossberg says Fox has secret tapes of Rudy Giuliani admitting that there is no proof of the 2020 presidential election being stolen. The Gang of Eight will have access to Trump, Biden and Pence classified documents, maybe four of them in good faith. Amarillo judge Matthew J. Kacsmaryk is the worst federal judge. So why is President Joe Biden paying attention to him?
Ruptured Republicans! Republicans in rupture! I don't know. It just doesn't ring like “Dems in disarray” does it? It's true, though. Here, let David Waldman and finally returning special guest Joan McCarter present to you two hours' worth of examples: Kevin McCarthy is the last person anyone would expect to hold things together, and it turns out that he is meeting everyone's expectations. Of course, bad management can only get you so far, but the Gop backs it up with an assault on abortion rights and freedom, democracy and the future of anyone under 60. As of this writing no mass shooter slaughtered more so far this day than the Louisville shooter did yesterday. Republicans were prepared for the guns-bullets-deaths aspect of the shooting but can't comprehend why a guy born male would ever identify as “he/him”. Laura Loomer, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jenna Ellis, and Lauren Witzke are in a four-way fight for Donald Trump's affections. Nikki Haley plays hard to get. Donald still has eyes for Melania, which she would prefer under her fingernails. Jim Jordan packs up his circus and heads to the Big Apple, where sadly, attendance will be limited. Book bans and restrictions are also a losing issue for Republicans, but Ron DeSantis still hasn't finished showing the world that he's a big boy, therefore he's doubling down on schools and still attempting to beat up Disney. Tennessee Republicans right-wing bubble burst with the instant return of Justin Jones, and Justin Pearson soon to follow. Kid Rock drinks Bud Light while hanging out with drag queens and… but… Why are we talking about this again? Democrats have their share of chaos as well. Some want to fight the Amarillo court's national ban on Mifepristone, and some want to ignore it.
Happy Passover, Easter, Ramadan, Smigus Dyngus and KITM Monday for all those who observe. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are especially observant today: We start off the day under the cloud of a mass shooting, like usual. It's too soon to know if Governor Greg Abbott will pardon anyone involved. Abbott is eager to pardon a guy who planned to kill some people and ended up finding his Kyle Rittenhouse/George Zimmerman opportunity at a Black Lives Matter demonstration that day. Similarly, Donald Trump hopes to offer as many pardons as he has enemies, and maybe a few preemptive pardons to take care of his future enemies. Compared to their mentors, future conservatives hope to develop less scruples. On the other hand, voters have become less forgiving of Donald Trump's criminality lately. Alvin Bragg's indictment of Trump isn't weak, it's standard. Any good friend of Clarence Thomas understands that he likes really nice stuff for free. Harlan Crow really understands his good friend Clarence Thomas. In turn, Clarence might understand why Harlan has so much Nazi paraphernalia. In fact, Thomas might have a very good idea why Harlan's brother is so much into human trafficking. Clarence Thomas could tell you a lot of things, but about twenty years ago he was advised to quit telling anything to anybody. In Tennessee the stupidity burns. It will burn much longer than they could ever imagine. The right to abortion will be secured before the end of the decade. In 2024 we can expect at least ten states to have citizen-led ballot initiatives enshrining abortion rights in their state constitutions. Here are 23 states that can amend their constitutions to protect abortion. Britain has many of the same problems as the US, but long ago discovered a way to distract the right numpty plonkers. You, on the other hand are much smarter. Smart people in Virginia support Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. In fact, you don't even have to be from Virginia!
David Waldman wishes us all a Good Friday. To make it even gooder, check out the latest KITM: Well, they really did it. Tennessee's Republican House expelled two out of three Democratic representatives for speaking out of turn. Republicans figured people could just look at those two and understand their need to be delt with without the encumbrance of due process but then discovered that old times there have been forgotten. In fact, Justins Jones and Pearson will shortly return as uppity as ever. Some Tennesseans have responded by using their second amendment rights as the Founders intended, shooting holes in the houses of people they're mad at. Donald Trump is a role model for these people, leading them through a combination of self-pity and blind rage. This is a dilemma for the judge in… No, it isn't. This should be pretty simple for any judge. Smilin' Jack Smith is neck and neck with Fani Willis to become the next indictor of Donald's art of stupidly illegal deals. Ride or die Republicans are seeing the pavement coming up fast. If Republicans were smart, they would change the subject with a debt ceiling plan, but they aren't. Clarence Thomas seems to be on a quest to be the most corrupt Justice in the Supreme Court. Thomas explains that actually he's the most gracious guest in the history of plutocratic affection. KITM Michigan Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that local plutocrats led by Betsy DeVos are installing a shadow Republican party to eclipse the Michigan state Gop, even while the party's new leader, Kristina Karamo is doing her best to be a MAGA whack-job. KITM Senior Black Correspondent Darwin H.M. relates the parable of “Green and purple”. Tom Hanks' latest movie is out, and it is short, educational and informative.
The bread's a little flat, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to leaven our day with political insight and dry wit. Donald Trump, who excels at losing, is entering the hottest streak of his career, and doesn't plan to slack off until all Republicans become sick of winning. Courtroom artists will have many opportunities to capture Donald's true essence. Pundits looking at Alvin Bragg's case just see an outline, but that's because Bragg isn't obligated to fill it in yet. Trump also has months to make everything much worse. Behind the scenes, even Evangelicals are losing faith. ProPublica reveals that for decades Clarence Thomas accepted luxury vacations on a private jet and a superyacht from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow. The extent and frequency of these apparent gifts to Thomas has no known precedent in modern SCOTUS history… Greg compares Thomas' Rolodex with that of Abe Fortas. Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls! Free the Tennessee Three! This isn't a good look for Tennessee Republicans. Montana Republicans plot a one-time election law change to screw over Democrat Jon Tester. James Comer enlists prosecutors to destroy their careers in order to irritate Joe Biden. Now, Wisconsin Republicans are looking into impeaching Judge Janet Protasiewicz, two days after her election. Why? Mostly because she won her election, but also because she won her election big. Also, because Republicans will be losing a lot more elections as they try to take away abortion rights. Way to go, Brandon! Brandon Johnson offered Chicagoans solutions, and solutions were what they were looking for.
Happy holidays! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start the day off in post Arraignment Day spirit and good will. That doesn't include Donald Trump. No one is passing over him anymore. Yesterday was the day Donald Trump finally became a regular citizen of the United States. Here's wishing Donald many more ordinary days. It seems that few want to treat Trump's indictment normally, however. Indicting everyone worthy of indictment was the Founder's intent, to keep the demagogues down. The case against Trump might be tricky, but it's strong. Alvin Bragg has the law on his side, all else is irrelevant. That won't keep idiots from trying of course. Their hope is that stepping up to murder might cool off those fraud charges. And, is Jack Smith really his name? The DOJ has new evidence of obstruction at Mar-a-Lago, and they're talking to Secret Service agents. Maybe Donald was just Art of the Dealing with those classified documents to make some Nixon-level money before handing them off? Meanwhile, our democracy was saved in Wisconsin in the nick of time before its falling into the 1800's. Janet Protasiewicz (spelled just like it sounds) is a huge win for progressives, and won huge in Wisconsin, winning in blue and red districts. Or, at least the reds didn't vote against her. The will of the people in double digits was recognized by Republicans with their expected grace. Similarly, the Republican Tennessee House has moved to expel three Democratic members calling for gun control. Republicans feel that being on the wrong side of history will sting less once they eliminate all of their enemies.
It's Arraignment Day! Should David Waldman wish us a happy Arraignment Day, or is it one of those more somber, reflective holidays? We have a few more coming up soon, so we'll figure it out. This is a big day for Donald Trump, but it just isn't his day. Donald had all sorts of big plans, but even in New York City it's difficult to source a cross light enough for him to bear down Broadway. It was very ugly in Manhattan this morning, and that was before 60 Minutes celebrity Marjorie Traitor Greene auditioned for Lead Disciple in Trump's passion play. Marge got the gong. Meanwhile, Eric Trump and Junior were left to wait in the plane. (The windows were rolled down.) Eric waived to the Eric Trump on TV, and Eric waved back, but wouldn't come over to play. Junior might have pooped his pants though. More obstruction evidence at Mar-a-Lago would be the last thing Trump needs, and yet for the guy who wants everything, it's the perfect gift. Trump found out that Nixon got $18 million following his White House crimes, and was making the perfect deal to top it, when all of a sudden, they raided Mar-a-Lago, they viciously raided it. Roy McGrath, former chief of staff for former Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan was formerly a fugitive from the FBI but is presently dead from somebody's bullet. McGrath was shot in Tennessee, which has plenty to be concerned about. Thousands of students marched on the Capitol demanding gun control. They were joined by 3 Democratic House members, which must be a bad thing, because they were stripped of committee roles, and might be expelled. Apparently not so bad, physically assaulting Democratic House members. Remember when Russia said Finland joining NATO didn't pose a threat? They changed their mind. Right when it was their turn to take charge of the UN security council, too.
You can't see David Waldman and Greg Dworkin on today's KITM! In significant step forward for women's basketball, the sport now has finally become big enough to sustain days of loudmouth opinionating. New York, New York gets ready to give a big New York welcome to Donald Trump tomorrow! If Donald can be arraigned there, he can (and will) be arraigned anywhere. Of course, not everyone is delighted about this... over two thirds are of course, but somebody might still be opposed, maybe, for a while. Then there will be even more indictments, arraignments, trials, convictions, etc., etc. and eventually people will get tired of all the winning. Chances are that ubiquitous Michael Cohen, raw dog fall guy Elliott Broidy, mysterious Chinese plutocrats, rappers, sex and money will be involved. That makes even Chuck Todd wonder why somebody hadn't gotten on this sooner. Trump says the Justice System has been weaponized. He would know. So would Jim Jordan. Wow. 60 Minutes used to be a journalistic authority. Now Marjorie Traitor Greene is a fan. The contest is over. The best April Fool's joke of ALL TIME was pulled in St. Petersburg, Russia.
April Fool! It's our April Fool's Day show! From last year, you fool! Because today isn't even April Fool's Day. So, duh! Last year, when you were being fooled, the summary of the day's show, which was presented in a totally serious manner, read as follows: This morning, David Waldman was late packing school lunches and just hadn't the time for fooling around. If you are in the mood for that kind of stuff, you can check out our KITM Eastern Orthodox April Fool's Day Special, tomorrow… David looks back at the Ukraine Aid Freeze of 2019,because it was withheld in the never-ending pursuit ofdirt, has always been lied about, and will be lied about in the future. Newly elected Lauren Boebert was already an insurrectionist VIP on January 6,with a seat at the insurrectionist planning committee, right behind Mr. Pillow! Lauren didn't crash the party though; Boebert earned her seat leading insurrectionist tours the day before. Horse paste does not cure COVID-19.Most who take it are idiots. Idiots do remain Republicans' most important constituency, however, so the sacred right to brush your teeth with the stuff will never be infringed upon. An anti-masker in Pennsylvania did her research, not on masks but on arcane local procedural provisions, to oust 5 out of 9 of her school board members. Conservatives now embrace QAnon's "liberals are pedophiles", and“great replacement” doctrines, even taking Disney flat-footed.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver us to the weekend, exceeding our expectations yet again. In France, oil refinery strikers continue to persevere. In Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu will need to persevere without the support of Joe Biden and the UAE. Ukrainians persevere, and maybe even flourish. What a maroon! Bugs Bunny couldn't hope to own Ron DeSantis better than Disney and their lawyers will, in perpetuity, or maybe even longer. DeSantis will lose big to Donald Trump also, by the way. Heels like Trump always win, always. (On TV.) Corporate villains like Ron DeSantis always lose. (On TV.) Is there a “real life” version of the Republicans anymore? Ivanka Trump will prefer to watch her father's demise on her phone. Republicans are running on “parent's rights”, but what rights are parents getting? There can only be so many books they could ban. Meanwhile, Democrats are running on restoring abortion rights. Obamacare keeps winning… and losing. Michigan Democrats keep winning for Michiganders, which turns out to be winning for Michigan Democrats. Allen Weisselberg is picking up the tab on his lawyers from now on, so at least he's turning his back on Trump's money. Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk took some time out of his fabricating reasoning for banning abortion medication to Twitter-bully University of Texas School of Law professor Steve Vladeck, which isn't respectable judicial behavior, but few things are anymore. Rogue courts are legislating for hire with Kacsmaryk and Reed O'Connor as the go-tos for reactionary court shoppers.
On today's KITM David Waldman and Greg Dworkin love on 80's commercials, hate on clinger Clippy Bing, and share delicious focaccia recipes, PLUS: Benjamin Netanyahu had his Donald Trump streak stall out, just as it was reaching Marjorie Taylor Greene levels. That might be a bit simplified, but it's close enough see why Israel is off of White House invitations. Israel's reaction to Joe Biden was also Trumpesque, although the Knesset has yet to reach agreement on a suitably derogatory nickname. Mike Pence will have to testify before a grand jury about Donald Trump and January 6th. Donald reminds us all that he's innocent until proven guilty, so let's hurry up and get on that. Trump also wants it to be clear that his crimes still far outnumber proposed indictments. Indict Trump all you'd like, that will just make his supporters vote even harder for him. Of course, most people don't want Donald to be president again, and those who do want to see a 3rd or 4th Trump term are running out of money. Some Republicans foresee diminishing returns on a civil war and instead find themselves attracted to the newest generation of nimrods. Here comes the Wisconsin elections! The White master race is not sending us their best people. 24 Washington Aryans were rounded up after trafficking “huge amounts” of fentanyl and meth. The Right knows what game they're playing, and that the first rule is to never say what the game is. If people really knew the score, they just might not want to play anymore.
Yes, we are once again Under the Cloud of a Mass Shooting.™ Since the setting was, once again, a school, trotting out the old “too many doors” talking point was required by law. But how could this have happened, in the land of more guns = more safety? In other news — if news it be — the FBI once thought they had the goods, or that there were goods to be had, on Ivana “Not Ivanka” Trump. Nobody really understands what's going on in Israel. But one thing we do know is that if they had Unfrozen Caveman Lawyers, they would refuse to represent Netanyahu. Nobody knows why Ginni Thomas feels entitled to be paid for her $#*t-posting lifestyle, but she does, so it looks like they're doing it. Students are pushing back against George Mason University's decision to invite Gov. Glenn Youngkin to deliver this year's commencement address. But isn't GMU well-known for its conservatism? Well, yes and no. Joan McCarter may have been absent from our phone Skype lines, but she wasn't absent from our airwaves Internet whatever thingies. We checked in on the latest Gop hostage taking, and efforts to repeal two out of three still-active AUMFs (AsUMF?), MFers.
Tune in today and you might hear David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sing the rarely-heard lyrics to the KITM theme! You might also be told that this is the Trump rally in Waco, but it is Jerusalem, after barely elected Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu attempts to reconstruct his court system over on the far right of Israel's politics. About a million loud and angry citizens seemed to make Netanyahu blink, but what that blink signifies is yet to be determined. Vladimir Putin is selling positions along the Russian front as if they were timeshares. New openings become available every day! Over at the real Trump rally in Waco, nothing was real, which is exactly how Trump and his supporters like it. Like professional wrestling, fans know it is an act, but also will fistfight anyone who says it is an act. Button-down fascist Ron DeSantis is somehow the Governor of Florida and yet not only does not get this, but his candidacy actually threatens to expose the whole Kayfabe. Time to find another jobber. Arresting Donald Trump will be a whole new level of breaking character for him. One of Tucker Carlson's ex-producers is adding to her lawsuit against Fox. Another of Tucker Carlson's ex-producers is part of Dominion's lawsuit against Fox. Until pro-wrestling, the Right's favorite family-friendly form of community theater was of course the minstrel show, then the woke mob took that all away. Drag was always good for a laugh, but then it became woke, or worse, became known as woke, forcing Republican queens out into the cold. One Democrat stopped the anti-trans wave in Nebraska, and vows to keep fighting until trans-rights are safe.
David Waldman's got Friday on his mind, and one or two other things, which he addressed on today's KITM. Ok, well, he hasn't been arrested yet. Just because Donald Trump lied about being arrested doesn't mean he isn't feeling that the walls are closing in though. Donald is now putting the call out for anyone who will rid him of these troublesome prosecutors, anyone who might share his enthusiasms. Trump will next head to Waco, Texas to preach to his most faithful. “Pro-Trump” and “White supremacist troll” would seem synonymous, yet Douglass Mackey excels at both to the extent that the FBI had to hunt him down. Woke is the Right's new N-word for identifying people that they consider to be… uhm, woke. Florida schools have eliminated most education pursuing woke, but now Tallahassee Classical School has discovered that wokeness extends all the way back to early 1500's Florence, in the form of a marble wang. Once 6th graders (none of whom had never seen a penis before) glimpsed a photo of Michelangelo's “David” statue, the principal of the school was of course forced to resign. Chair of the Tallahassee Classical School board, Barney Bishop III, made a completely impartial and fair analysis of the situation, which can only be fully understood by reading the transcript of his explanation.