Daily Kos Radio - Kagro in the Morning

We had Friday the 13th, Pi Day, the Ides of March, and hardly a day has passed, and there's yet another holiday! David Waldman observes most holidays, and is generally an observant guy, which is why he is a good fit for this show. There aren't many valid reasons to ask Donald K. Trump about anything. He doesn't know the answer. His answer won't make sense. His answer won't be the same the next time he's asked. Any correlation between his answer and reality will always be coincidental. And paying the slightest attention to him only encourages him, so why bother? Because, a lot of invalid journalists would lose their jobs, that's why. Laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz would be militarily advantageous for Iran, so that is what they are doing. The US strategy, therefore, was to reposition their minesweepers from the Middle East over to Malaysia. An untimely move perhaps, but nothing that can't be fixed with untested technology and a lot of money. The head of the U.S. National Counterterrorism Center resigned because he couldn't support the war in Iran… if only he shut up there. Donald is no longer his pal. It is no fun for MAGA to come up with pedophile conspiracies now that they're hitting a little too close to home, so how about the theory that the Trump Butler assassination attempt was faked? Big (and funny) if true! Today's sociopaths won't admit the error of their ways until the liberation tanks roll into their neighborhood. Senior KITM Military Correspondent Darwin Darko returns! The Department of Whatever accuses Stars and Stripes of wokeness, such as publishing basketball scores, comic strips, or the news.

David Waldman celebrates our return on Monday the 16th after cutting up all weekend. Greg Dworkin asks, what have we done? Really? Is that the rule? Is that the goal now? We are about sick of winning and winning and winning our massive multiplayer war with Iran and just about everyone else in the world, though for some reason as our hit points go up, our health bar continues to shrink. The problem is those kind might not understand that they've lost until the mainstream media agrees to broadcast our victory dances. How many years will we have to win this thing before the world envies Trump as completely as he requires? Some suggest nukes are in order, yet few agree on where to drop them. Trump's domestic war of vengeance is going about as well, as grand juries keep refusing to charge those that the DOJ are targeting. Pete Hegseth's Fox drinking buddy Jeanine Pirro persecutes 90% of those in her path, it's not her fault no one wants to join in. On the other hand, Trump defense attorney John Lauro is sad about everyone treating his boss like a crook. What made Minnesota such a target, and what makes it a solution? Everyone should take notes. What lessons can we learn from last Tuesday's Texas primary? A New Jersey Republican is running against Trump. Democrats might get the courage to run against Bibi. It's an easy decision to run against tariffs. Jared Qushnar adds his own hustle to Middle East peace talks once he figured out that their peace was getting in the way of his profit.

Lucky us! David Waldman drops us off at the end of another week, a little wiser. How stupid is Donald K. Trump, at least in regard to his Iran war? Quite a bit! This little favor for Bibi and Vlad is beginning to get out of hand for Donald. Pete Hic!seth seems to be the only guy having any fun anymore. The worst part of being an idiot is when people keep pointing it out. Today, as every other day in the last 70 years or so, Trump has to prove his critics "wrong". A naturalized citizen who lost family members in Israeli strike on Lebanon confused a country with a religion, attacked a Detroit synagogue and was shot by security, which is paid for by grants if they aren't woke. Meanwhile, a shooter at Old Dominion University met good guys without guns who unalived him, nevertheless. New details emerge on Trump's tariff refunds, in that there's pretty much no chance of seeing them. If you are a callow, unserious, incurious, insular, sexist, racist, white code-bro given the keys to government, you too would find AI tools a handy timesaver. AI does also bite back. All of the crises the White House has claimed over the last 14 months were planned in advance. All of them. Rosalyn MacGregor returns with a Michigan update/fun fact: Michiganders apparently regularly schedule themselves propositions to convene constitutional conventions! And the next chance to do it is... now! Who knew? Well, you do now. That's so cute! Well, unless they want to try to use it to secede from the union. Do they want to? Easily triggered inarticulate dimwit Markwayne Mullin was the liaison between the Senate and the House.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to tell you much more about many more things. The Trumpiranian war continues… Not an "incursion" … an "excursion". Not a "quagmire", more of a "junket" of the sunny gulf. Not a "plan", "strategy," "policy," or "doctrine" …  more of an… uhm… Donald K. Trump has always loved the straits, but lately they've become very nasty. Sad! Trump wants the tanker captains to just floor it and knock the blockades aside, but neither they nor the US Navy can be expected to show Trump bravery under pressure. Bahrain has to hire freelancers to crush their dissidents. Back around here, Gops approach the midterms with a doomed play for unity, while Latinos show everyone how it's done in Texas. A DOGE bro deposition demonstrates how handy AI is for lazy racists without moral guardrails. Meanwhile, Kash Patel outsources FBI training to UFC fighters. Jeffreeeeey Epsteeeeeeein! while we were watching people and things blowing up real good, new Trump-Epstein files were released, they are as bad as you'd expect, they're verifiable, and there is a money trail.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take podmaxxing to the extreme, naturally the good extreme, on today's KITM. Greg reminds us that you can't treat responses from a fabulist president as serious answers… as referenced in the leading source of internet misinformation. Eh, if the posts are backed up on Blue Sky, they're probably good to go.  Of course, you wouldn't expect more accuracy if the info came straight from this administration, because what would they know? Everyone's favorite war, Iran, continues. Merchant ships are hesitant to sail into the Strait of Hormuz, because they are afraid that they might blow up, because Iran has said that they will blow them up and the US says they won't be escorting them because they might blow up.  Donald K. Trump says, Wait, what? Who's afraid of a bomb or two? His guys say the water's great, dive in! There can't be that many Khameinis left anymore, anyhow, and his boy J' red El Qush Nar has prime beachfront property to be developed as soon as his Grok figures out all the nuclear stuff. Republicans still like the war, but Americans do not. The new prices will make fewer admit that they are Republicans. Democrats will still tell you that they are moderate, when they are not. More elections flip, and more to come. Have we reached peak antisemitism-ism? Will anyone new from the Epstein files ever go to jail? Can Ed Martin be more of a contemptible contemptuous contemnor? John Cornyn, a long supporter of whatever, is now vehemently against it. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, is evacuated to a secure bunker as forces of justice close in.

David Waldman remains on chaos cleanup today, as this weekend's spill is a pretty big one. The Iran war is worse than Hell, this war is Trump.  Is the war ending, or is it beginning? Yes.  Have we destroyed and killed enough, or not enough? Yes.  Does Donald K. Trump know what is happening? No.  Does that matter?  Again, no. Does Trump, himself, believe a word that he says?  You could say "both". Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? Well, he was certainly asking for it. New Mexico prosecutors are just getting around to searching his property. Then there's Jeff's BFF Donald… so much is known, so little has been proven... or at least proven in court. Then again, the 2020 election has been settled, has been proven, and yet will never be settled or proven. If Dems don't win for 50 years or so, maybe Gops will let this slide. U.S. District Judge Matthew Brann rules that the triumvirate replacing Alina Habba in the District of NJ is illegal. Trump has a new method for determining the brownness of staff noses: Florsheim shoes. Retribution sights are being set again on Cassidy Hutchinson. Following the red yarn from her pushpin we find Alexander Butterfield — who revealed the existence of the Nixon White House taping system to the world (and more recently befriended Cassidy Hutchinson during the January 6th congressional probe), dead at 99, nutter Barry Loudermilk, who led pre-Jan 6 tours around the Capitol, and Marjorie Traitor Greene, soon to be replaced by someone crazier... or possibly not! Darrell Issa isn't running again, which is only good news. Somehow, most liberals still have no idea that the NY Times is a problem. Pssst...  The Jan. 6 plaque honoring Capitol Police has been installed.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to fight Trump chaos with their chaos. Like a lot of people right now floating outside Tehran and Basra, Singer-songwriter Country Joe McDonald was an enlisted Navy sailor. Like a lot of people right now, he gave an F-U-C-K about what we were doing, and now, sadly, whoopee, we are gonna do it again. The guy who cares the least about what we are fighting for is Donald K. Trump, as both problems and solutions make him equally angry. At least no new pronunciation guides will be needed for Iran's leadership, nor will anyone need to adjust their governance or diplomacy theories. Not that the US is expected to take into consideration… anything. We'll just commit our war crimes and be shocked when Iran commits theirs. Thousands are stranded in the area unless they're mogging with sufficient rizz... Polling indicates that Trump could neither mog nor rizz himself out of a paper bag. James Talarico can, however, and at almost Mamdaniesque levels… plus, James has JESUS. Take that MAGA! Trump should consider a nice track suit to match his hat the next time he attends the transfer of killed US service members. Ok, the DHS kidnaps, tortures, and kills a few people, but they'd never get in the way of spring break.  The President feels their pain but refuses to sign any bill until Congress passes his anti-voting anti-trans act and gives him three scoops of ice cream. A woman born in the US has her immigration status put under review. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi announces that state bar associations can't investigate misconduct by lawyers but hasn't figured out a way to keep Congress from investigating her misconduct. Meanwhile, this administration still holds a grudge for Cassidy Hutchinson and if they can't lock anyone else up, she might have to do.

Barack Obama joins David Waldman and KITM in encouraging voting "Yes" for redistricting in Virginia. We would have had him on, but our Friday story backlog is a killer. Kristi Noem has been fired. Not for killing dogs, or goats, or people, but for telling the truth under oath. As far as Donald K. Trump knows, that's the only unpardonable offence. Noem had no reaction, as she had those surgically removed last year. Kristi and her young ward Corey Lewandowski will now be "employed" as agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, which might stand for Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation, but really stands for pretending to roll the ICE atrocities odometer back to zero by pretending that serial nosepicker Markwayne Mullin is now the guy in charge. ICE is building camps and closing camps and building and closing camps. Do ICE agents wear masks because they fear Covid? This is a common mistake for stupid people to make. Of course, the economy crashes and Americans die, but Trump isn't going to let any of that ruin this experience for him. Jesus Christ hired him to pull the greatest heist of all time, and Donald isn't about to let God and Vlad down while recreating the world in their image. Pete Hegseth is Trump's crusader thrill-killer, his fiery sword of bro-alpha-America laying low the scourge of children and the defenseless. Pete did a Lusitania on an unarmed Iranian ship, sinking it, and watching the crew drown, because we don't do stupid rules of engagement anymore... Democrats witness all this and say, "but..."? Dan Crenshaw is known to be a pretty touchy guy yet discovered that he was no match for a touchy billionaire. Robert Marling knocked Dan out for the bargain price of $675,000. Crenshaw loses the primary to Steve Toth, an unknown, who we at least know is not related to Lazlo Toth, or László Tóth, but possibly Laszlo Toth.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and we are back for more. Pete Hic-seth promised Iran that the US would never fight fair, no stupid rules of engagement for us! Just ask the few surviving sailors on the Iranian warship IRIS Dena, sunk by torpedo, unarmed, returning from "professional exercises, seminars, social events and sporting fixtures" with India. If Iran wants the US to "bitterly regret" this, or anything that they are doing, they will need to ask themselves, "What would Pete Do?" Would Hegseth take out Gulf area desalination plants, endangering tens of millions of civilians? Pete doesn't even drink water, bro. This looks like a job for the Board of Peace! Paramount won't say whether Middle East money is funding its Warner Bros. Discovery deal., but the UAE never promised to fight fair either. And yet, the majority of Americans want a short war with no boots on the ground… Blah, blah, blah! Americans are so picky! Texas seems to be feeling a bit blue lately. Texas Dems are fired up and fired up about James Talarico. Jasmine Crockett did great for someone who did it so bad, but Talarico offered both style and substance, attaining Zohran Mamdanimentum. Anyone who doesn't do that won't make it out of their primaries. Gops have long ago learned how to deal with pesky primaries. Listen, if Donald K. Trump gets rid of Kristi Noem will you all leave him alone? What if he throws in Pam Bondi? Karoline Leavitt? No dudes leave though. That's too far.

David Waldman delivers us to the middle of the week, which is pretty good, considering the week so far. Greg Dworkin, a nice guy who can always be trusted, delivers a paradoxical raft o' stories out of ExTwitter, an awful place that can never be trusted. Yesterday, we had primary elections in Texas, North Carolina and Arkansas, the first elections of the 2026 midterm campaigns.  Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico are both fantastic, but James Talarico will now be the fantastic Democratic candidate. Trump has to pick the winner from his losers. We won't have Dan Crenshaw to kick around anymore, but neither will Mike Johnson. Democratic voters in Texas were left to wander around, looking for their precinct which is just how Gops wanted it. For something that was designed to finally completely strangle Jeffrey Epstein, permanently rig democracy, and usher in the Millennial Kingdom of Christ on earth, this whole "Iran war" thing is becoming a little too complex for Donald K. Trump. Iran is breaking our expensive stuff, worrying our rich people and hardly being cooperative. (And killing some soldiers.)  It is also very confusing because we are not at war with Iran, while they have been at war with us for decades… Everything is moving so fast! At least we got all the important people out. The few thousand in business class stranded there dumb enough to rely on the US to get them out can leave a message with details on how they would like their bodies to be IDed.  Colorado Governor Jared Polis is probably going to taco (jaco? paco?) on Tina Peters' state prison time. The DOJ will lay off targeting law firms that Trump doesn't like… psyche! They're totally still targeting the law firms.

It's only Tuesday, and David Waldman already has some catching up to do. It's only Tuesday and Donald K. Trump already is running out of fancy ammo in his war with Iran. Gulf states are being put on hold calling into the Pentagon replenishment help line. Trump doesn't need anything so high-end, as long as he has plenty of low-price grunts to feed to the cannons. After all, that's what they're there for. Around the Gulf, they use drones and DoorDash for delivery. Any foreign adversary interested in our military plans need not go to the expense and trouble of a Mar-a-Lago membership, they can just check out TMZ. The US attempts to steel itself to the idea of a protracted war, but all bets are off if March Madness is threatened. Successive regime changes embolden serial decapitator Trump, but how much more emboldened can a guy anointed by God with the divine task to ignite Armageddon and receive the return of Jesus actually become? Just in case God is a loser and doesn't come through on the midterms, Trump is installing zealots throughout government. Kansas shows whose side they are on by Christian trolling of trans people guilty of the sin of living in their state.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start off a whole new month trying to make sense of this crap! Who had us bombing Iran over the weekend? Probably a few of us, including billionaire refugees and TikTok influencers. Operation Epic Furry threatens the straights of Hormuz, as the US joins Israel in killing Iranians. Someone had the brilliant idea to bomb a staff meeting, decapitating not just Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, age 86 (not to be confused with Ayatollah Khomeini, age 124) ... plus anyone else we'd want to negotiate with. (Maybe Ilhan Omar is available? Zohran Mamdani?) This might have put a hitch in your typical administration's plans, but it can't if that administration never plans, can it? Sure, they said "no war with Iran", therefore, there is no war with Iran, because first of all, that would be illegal. Second, people expect you to "win" wars, and that's just not going to happen. And most importantly, voters don't want this war, so who in their right mind would start one now? Kuwait friendly fires upon US jets, while Spain isn't friendly at all. Which brings us to the 2026 midterms, which some still believe are happening! Donald K. Trump is not considering a takeover, just like he wasn't considering Project 2025. Oh well, if mistakes happen, just sue them. Iran almost pushed Jeffrey Epstein out of the news. Jeff paid doctors for procedures ranging from unethical to unspeakable.

David Waldman shakes out the KITM grab bag o' stories heading into the weekend. It turns out that Donald K. Trump's State of the Union speech wasn't only a boring litany of lies but was filled with confessions of 2025 and plans for 2026 crimes. In that case, it was kind of amazing that he was able to fit so much into so little time. At that rate, Trump's Epstein testimony could still take days. A judge blocked Trump from cutting off funding to 22 Dem states to coerce them into giving up food stamp data. Netflix has backed out of its Warner Bros. bid, so CNN slides all the way to the dark side. The military shot off its ray guns again, taking out a Customs and Border Protection drone. Soon, the CBP army will be unstoppable. Kristi Noem is assembling a fleet of bidet-equipped, dildo-laden, flying boudoirs. U.S. Vice Admiral Fred Kacher has been removed from his position as director of the Joint Staff after only taking the post in December. Some just aren't cut out for the military life. Idiot Nick Shirley makes money frightening idiots. Trump can rule the world with enough frightened idiots. A massive pro-Trump Twitter account is run by a paid White House staffer. Zohran Mamdani goes back to the White House to play Trump and makes it all look so easy. Kansas' trans bounty hunter bill was slipped through the legislature hidden in a gut and go shell. A three-year-old company with fewer than five employees hopes to pick up $25 billion before the tariff gravy train runs off the rails.

Ta-ta-ta-da! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin serve up a tasty KITM that you'll prefer to the high-price spread! People are still talking about Trump's boring lying in the SOTU. The bits tying the lies together got some attention, but they weren't the point and weren't why anyone was tuning in or tuning out. Trump voters are so embarrassed, that they are pretending not to be Trump voters. Many are getting sick of pretending that they are winning. Many importers are tired of pretending tariffs worked. At least Mike Johnson only needs to pretend for a few more months. Hey, Cubans are now killing Caribbean boaters! Is that even legal? Whoa! Gops don't know what's going on in Texas, neither do Dems. When in doubt, throw money at it. Things are much more clear in the New York Governor race, and out in Pennsylvania. ICE remain the manifestation of MAGA weenie ethos. The SAVE act is dying, and the talking filibuster won't save it. Howard Lutnick is Trump's favorite dealmaker, so it probably doesn't matter if he can make deals. Jeffrey Epstein remains a concern as more villains are exposed, and more villains try not to be exposed. MAGA are reaching down and finding cognitive dissonance they didn't know they had. Kansas demands that trans residents behave how they want them to, until they do, then they'll demand that they act a different way. The FBI raided Los Angeles Unified School District Supt. Alberto Carvalho's home and office in relation to an AI chatbot company, which is the new hot place to do felony scams.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin brave frigid temperatures with a combination of comfy slippers and raw determination to bring us this latest special KITM:  About the only thing worse than a Trump State of the Union speech is having to take it seriously the next day. Stupid, boring, lying Donald K. Trump said stupid, boring, lies for a couple of hours. Today, Dems have to pretend that there is something interesting about that. There wasn't anything to interest voters. There wasn't much to interest Republicans, as even racism and fearmongering can only go so far. There is a reason why Trump rallies empty out after a half hour, but most needlessly felt some obligation to stick around, if they couldn't manage to earn an ejection. Another reason Trump's State of the Union sucked is because Trump's state of the union sucks. This might matter to midterm voters, one would hope. Special elections sure portend well. The DOJ tried to take Trump out of the Trump-Epstein files and of course managed to get even more attention. Contempt sanctions go against the DOJ today for moving a man out of Minnesota against an order, not releasing him under the timeline ordered, and not returning him to Minnesota. Beta Pete Hegseth wants to be humiliated by alpha Mark Kelly again. Does Pete even lift, bro? Beta Kash Patel finally got to discover what testosterone looks like in the Olympic locker room. Trump was allowed to sniff their medal too. Allowing Kash, Donald, and Pete's fantasies to play out is the highest priority use of military equipment at the moment. Attorney General Brian Schwalb said that Congress didn't actually repeal the D.C. tax bill. Congress and paperwork, man!

David Waldman will continue his boycott of State of the Union speeches and snow until Greg Dworkin is returned to us safely. There will be a SOTU tonight, maybe. No one will be watching, so it's hard to be certain. Abigail Spanberger says she is, but who could blame her if she zoned out for most of it. More people than ever don't want to hear what Donald K. Trump has to say. Even Trump's imaginary supporters are fading away. Proud racists are getting more difficult to find. The US Men's Hockey Team will be there, but that's because they are being made to. The Women's Team was let off the hook. The men will be honored with Trump AI highlight clips and individual SOTU lap dances from Kash Patel. Trump has a few hours to fill, so tariffs might come up, all of it unpleasant, and absolutely nothing about anyone getting a refund. What else is he going to talk about? Greenland? Cannibals? He could declare a war or two. Maybe a pardon or two. Trump probably won't talk much about Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and art school girls, DOJ and FBI coverups, but correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has a lot to report!  Jared's dad, Charles Kushner, is ignoring French summons and would like to stay on the down-low, so expect Trump to flub that.

David Waldman goes it alone as Nor'easter bomb cycloned Greg Dworkin is up to his Connecticut mukluks in a local weather situation. Following Friday's Supreme Court tariffs decision, Donald K. Trump tariffed everyone 10% for laughing at him, then raised it to 15% to prove he's serious. He'll keep doing it too, until everyone understands who's in charge and quits plotting against him… It's those people who "support him" who are really out to get him… do they think he's a fool? Punish those who made deals, reward those he punished!  Call him insane, will they? Send a hospital ship to Greenland! Trump imposters fail to keep up with Trump's rapidly deteriorating diction and syntax. Chuck Schumer pretends to grill burgers MAHA-style. Another disillusioned MAGA bites the dust. Just The News isn't just the news, and even Trump knows it. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? No one will ever replace her. Instead of raising bail, the rich raise pardon money. Kash Patel trashed his reputation and that of the FBI because he is as big a fan of Olympic hockey as he is his girlfriend's singing career.

Friday is always a great opportunity to uncover the sordid details of stories dumb enough to be the Crime of the Century, but just end up buried under the pile of Crimes of the Millennium. Today starts with a perfect and crystalline example of Trump's criminal genius, a way to monetize vanity itself! So it turns out that DOGE was every bit as dumb as we thought it was. It's all here, but it comes down to this: they asked ChatGPT to make a list of "woke DNI" stuff they could eliminate, and then they just did it. Apparently forging the signatures they needed along the way. (Again!) So, yes, that British fellow, Andrew, was in fact arrested for some crime that was not specifically related to his being a giant pervert. But in the Al Capone tradition: 1) that may be ok, at least for now, and; 2) it's really all the same crime, anyway. This just in: SCOTUS rules against Trump in a case he intends to ignore or otherwise work around! This time, it's the tariffs, at long last! Can we depend on them to rule against him on Virginia's redistricting? Because we may have to! Here's a scary thought to carry into your weekend: 96% of the world's nuclear weapons are now in the hands of authoritarian rulers! Among the world's nuclear powers, only Britain and France remain genuinely liberal democracies.  Will you be able to read about that on the Internet? That's less likely now than ever. (At least during the time in which there's been an Internet.)

David Waldman counts down to the weekend, when we can all kick back, relax, and be incinerated in man-made hellfire…. but don't forget Friday's show! The law must take its course, as even His Majesty the King will tell you, no one is above the law, not even his very own brother, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. If only we had the moral rectitude of our forbearers, yet we invent new unaccountable elites every day. Still, around the world executives resign from companies as if they were ungrateful that Jeff made them who they are today. We could've handled it like Great Briton. We could've handled it like South Korea. We could've handled it like Brazil. Greg Dworkin culls the shiniest kernels out of his Ex-Twitter turd to share today. Democrats are job creators. House members get out while the getting's good. James Talarico is hot, hot, hot!  Gop Texans self-immolate.  Kristi Noem diverted a Coast Guard aircraft from an active search and rescue mission in order to transport detained migrants rather than share her double bidet. Stephen Miller, however, shows no inclination in retiring to spend more time in Hell. A Federal judge has finally found a DOJ lawyer in contempt. Judges have rebuked Trump's mass detention of immigrants thousands of times, encouraging him to do worse, faster. Keep alert to any stormtrooper activity at all times. Donald K. Trump sure can destroy a lot of real lives with powers that are mostly in your imagination.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin cut through the confusion and clamp down on the chaos for a tidbit of today. Hey, do you know who the guest was on The Late Show with Steven Colbert? Sure, you do, yet you can't say that very often, can you? That's because that guest, James Talarico, Democratic candidate for Senate, was given a huge promotional lift by Brendan Carr, Donald K. Trump, and a panicked herd of frightened lawyers, who say that they didn't want to make Jasmine Crockett mad. Jasmine Crockett isn't mad. This Blue Wave is raising all Dem boats. Just talk about the SAVE act is encouraging voter suppression, and spurring plans for new voter suppression. Don't let it get to you but do pay attention. Our generics beat their generics. Zohran Mamdani is the most popular Democrat. Donald's pal Jeffrey Epstein led a global criminal enterprise, creating crimes against humanity. Kristi Noem scuttles the Coast Guard. We kill boaters while cocaine booms, while the guy responsible for shipping 400 tons to the US gets all expenses paid vacation to the Waldorf Astoria. Federal Judges can hardly believe the administration's lawlessness, as they have ruled over 4400 times that ICE detentions were illegal. Trump is getting sick of all of the winning… must be why he hasn't been golfing lately. Hope nothing's wrong with the old boy.

David Waldman is back! And, it's Tuesday! RIP Jesse Jackson. RIP Robert Duvall! CBS let Steven Colbert interview James Talarico, they just don't don't want you to see the interview ​​. ICE is big business. The Feds paid $128.5 million for new ICE facility to pack in 10,000 detainees, that only 2 years ago sold for $90 million less. Then there's the Noem-Lewandowski Flying Love Palace with his and her's bidets and a wet bar, which could transport deportees in a pinch, honest! Yes, it is a new golden age for ICE, with the exception of the detainees and the employees. Epstein connections are about as horrible as Trump connections. At least in terms of losing your job in Europe. Here in the Good Ol' US of A, being a Trump-connected crackpot means you're currently having the time of your life proclaiming America a communist hellhole.

David Waldman delivers a lovely Friday the 13th KITM Valentine. May everyone you know receive exactly what they deserve. Speaking of romance, Kristi Noem fired a Coast Guard pilot for coming between her (and probably Corey Lewandowski's) favorite blanket. Corey's security blanket would be a badge and a gun, if he had them. The heated rivalry between Kristi and her non-botoxed twin, Tom Homan continues to rage behind the scenes. Who would think that Jared Kushner would be implicated in a national security scandal with Tulsi Gabbard and foreign nationals? Yeah, well, everybody. When John A. Sarcone III was caught unlawfully impersonating a US Attorney, the Northern District of New York appointed the most qualified attorney for the position, Donald Kinsella. That is just about the opposite of what the Trump administration wanted, and they fired Kinsella in under 4 hours, preferring to have no one at any wheel. ICE says that they are leaving Minneapolis, to places where they are wanted, who will soon learn to not want them. Meanwhile, most U.S. Attorneys and their staffs are bugging out of Minnesota, shutting down the vindictive prosecutions on their way out. The healing will take years, however, as the sickness continues to spread. The SAVE tool creates confusion and chaos, as it was designed. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, will soon present Donald K. Trump with 10 billion dollars, but for now spends her time freeing accused drug dealers. Budget director Russell Vought found some money nobody needed anymore and put it into an entourage. Jeanine Pirro will be suing someone for $250,000 after a large wooden block leapt into the path of her staggering.

David Waldman delivers another KITM under the cloud™ of a mass shooting... a Canadian cloud, but as gloomy and awful as the ones we produce. Greg Dworkin popped in, but soon buckled under an ice onslaught, or at least his internet did. The other, more toxic ICE Is spreading across the US, along with their concentration camps. They are thugs and pansies. The FAA closed the airspace over El Paso for 10 days, ok, maybe not, nothing to see here, move along. Howard Lutnick confused Epstein Island with 6 Flags. Bipartisan nausea over the Trump-Epstein files has the mop & bleach crews working overtime, except for Karoline Leavitt, who only wants fun questions from now on. Peter Thiel wasn't there for the girls. The House has voted to take whacks at Trump's tariffs as if they were a piñata. Tariffs remain one of the best methods of tracking Donald K. Trump's dementia. Trump says it's time for traffic problems on the Gordie Howe Bridge, while tariffing the imaginary prime minister of Switzerland's attitude. None of the 6 Democrats who Trump ordered killed have been executed. In fact, none of them have been indicted.  Oklahoma's State House District 35 Special Election flipped Dem… by 75 points. Trump's job approval is so low that Gallup has given up trying to even measure it. Georgia ballot inquiry originated with an election denier who of course became an election integrity officer. Roger Stone returns for 2026.

David Waldman wouldn't miss a KITM even for a lunch date with Stanley Tucci and the US women's hockey team, probably. That's how important you are to him! Everyone from Thomas Massie to Jamie Raskin figure that at least a half-dozen men are being protected in Epstein files. Ya think? It's driving some Democrats to vulgarity! It's driving MAGA to bellow, "HO HUM!" After all, as Donald K. Trump has been saying since 2006, everyone knew about Jeffrey Epstein and that Ghislaine Maxwell was evil. Bad Bunny is the pressing issue today. The only thing more boring to a Gop than Epstein would be ICE. Why are people so obsessed with those guys? Let's talk about something more pertinent, like the 2020 election, which may be due to uninterest them again soon. Listen, if you want something new to cry about, Trump always has something cooking. Time for some traffic problems on the Gordie Howe bridge, the international bridge Gops refused to pay for and now want half of. If you want to talk about tariffs, Gops can put you in exactly 4 to 6 months from now. Or how about never? After all, Trump's man in the Fed says, why worry? Anyhow, Trump's pick to head the Fed, Kevin Warsh, will have the economy growing three times faster than any time in history soon, why not?

The Friday pandemonium begins! First up: The Trump White House's Racist Post of the Day. Greg wasn't here today, but that doesn't mean there wasn't any special election action yesterday. There was! And we don't know who won! But it was exciting nonetheless, because a Dem "wins" either way. The seat won't actually be filled until April, but they may still be battling over DHS funding at that point. We'll see! Because today ends in a "y," Trump is trying desperately to name more things after himself. Yesterday, it was "TrumpRx," his Groupon-style website for discounts on a whopping 43 different pharmaceutical drugs. Today, it's Washington's Dulles airport and New York's Penn Station. Christine O'Donnell was famously "not a witch," but this guy is, and he was at the Clay County, MN Gop caucus earlier this week, laughing at Mike Lindell and casting a hex on the gathering. A two-fer! From Minneapolis, meanwhile, we're urged not to ignore the economic impact of the ICE/CBP siege. And perhaps lend a hand, if we can.  An ancient scroll, from 1987, may contain clues to a path toward accountability for ICE/CBP and other abusive federal "officials." With so much unsanctioned, un-uniformed "law enforcement" activity going on out there, it was probably only a matter of time until someone tried to take Luigi Mangione's detention into their own hands. It did not work. But on the other hand, neither did an actual DOJ effort to sanction Judge Boasberg. And not just because the effort was baseless and nonsensical! Have you heard that most Democrats are actually uninterested in shielding Bill Clinton from inquiry with regard to the Epstein files? Well, I guess The Hill hasn't. And as for things you should look into this weekend: You may have missed this Trump bribe (because it was reported in close proximity to this other Trump bribe). Anyhoo, the Senator that caught wind of that first bribe also wants us to know that something seriously f-ed up is happening over at the CIA.

David Waldman has a million things to tell you today… and almost does. Elon Musk's "X" Paris office has been raided. France, United Kingdom and Spain are charging Ex-Twitter of algorithmic manipulation and the distribution of child sexual abuse content. Hey, it's not a crime to hang out with pedophile content providers, is it? Greg Dworkin is there all the time in fact, mostly on assignment, of course. For example, polling. You just can't find that anywhere else. Polling shows that people are beginning to miss Joe and want Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem to go away. White non-college folks are even drifting away. Gops now wonder if they kicked around Latinos maybe a bit too much. Republicans are presently so hated that Democrats are actually beginning to look good to voters. Indeed, Dems might even be considered to be better than the lesser of two evils heading into the midterms. Democrats still have 9 months to ruin things, which is plenty of time. The House shut down the partial shutdown, except for DHS funding, as Gop John Rose likes them young and is the one vote margin.  ICE asks if you and whose army will make them unmask, ID themselves, and generally follow the Constitution, but first, you'll have to figure out who they are. Marimar Martinez was shot 7 times with 5 bullets, making her the bullet hole pin-up of the DHS. Slaughter of innocents may seem passé at the moment, but the feds still have their ways. Judges complain that so many of them enjoy being petty dangerous bullies, that there is hardly anyone left to do the paperwork.

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today! That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's Groundhog's Day! And the big question on David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's lips... on their chapped lips, is…  About half of the Epstein files have been released, and wow they are gross. Now half of them are gone because they weren't quite redacted yet. Epstein Island, or thereabouts, was the place for the elite to meet, from Elon Musk down to... Igor… who could be this Igor or that Igor but was most likely one of this guy's Igors. Will there be a Blue Wave? There is definitely a blue swing, and one giant blue swing in Texas. Taylor Rehmet flipped a state Senate seat by 17 points, a 32 point swing, a BFD big enough to push her well-funded opponent, Leigh Wambsganns, right out of Trump's mind. Gops turned out for the election, they just turned out to not like Trump anymore. Donald K. Trump hasn't a chance of getting these voters back, but that doesn't matter if there is no voting. Minneapolis is being pushed out of the news, but ICE hasn't been pushed out, and its economic embargo is destroying the lives of all the residents. Two Latino gang members shot a white man down on the street recently, but lately the gang has moved to indiscriminate use of chemical agents in the towns that they menace. What kind of chemicals? They don't know and they don't care. If anyone complains, there's always biowarfare.  Trump might not be the biggest crook in the world, but he's the biggest in a democracy, at least in what's left of one. Nancy Mace is giving him a run on who's the craziest.

David Waldman's weekend assignment for KITM listeners is to review the newly released Trump-Epstein files and copy him with notable highlights before Monday's show. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Lovable rogue Donald K. Trump is suing himself for 10 billion dollars, but don't expect that to teach him a lesson, he'll always be a kind of demented jerk, too. Meghan McCain wants attention… and needs attention also. Trump tacoed on his own taco, backing out of pulling back in Minnesota, now that there are two instances of Alex Petti not pulling a gun on ICE officers, and AI has been effective at making anti-ICE bad guys seem maybe as bad as his bad guys. Meanwhile ICE still gallop through town like drunken rustlers in a western. Someone somewhere for some reason decided to arrest Don Lemon. Pam Bondi took credit for taking out not one but two especially uppity journalists. Judge Patrick J. Schiltz says ICE has violated nearly 100 court orders but cancels the contempt hearing requiring the ICE director's appearance. We know who raided the Fulton County Board of Elections building, who wanted it done, and why… but what about the paperwork? No, it was not Thomas Albus, the German Muppet dubber, but a guy who might be his son, Thomas Albus, the United States Attorney for the eastern District of Missouri, and the official elections persecutor/prosecutor heading into the midterm elections. With only hours to spare, Chuck Schumer resolved the Federal shutdown. Ok, that might be a bit oversimplified. There will be a shut down, but Chuck did good.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sift through the latest fallout. Is today the day Donald K. Trump became president? Nope. That pivot you are seeing is a tailspin. A death spiral that Trump can't insult, distract, nor kill himself out of.  Killing people isn't good politics, because murder wakes up the vast sleepy middle. Trump's immigration approval drops to record low… wow, ya think? Trump tires of alienating the off-white and moves on to gun nuts. All the cool kids want to abolish ICE now. Being on the right side of history is good politics, eventually.  Two special Minnesota House races were won by Democratic contenders, in a big way... hallelujah! Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger runs out of bubblegum on Day One. Back over on the wrong side of history, Kristi Noem was just following orders… Stephen Miller's orders. Stephen vows to not go to the gallows alone. Meanwhile, ICE uses long-range sonic weapons, point blank, at protesters. ICE'S striving to be international pains in asses. Chained PAX are not safe 02/EVAC. Ilhan Omar was attacked by a far-right extremist "piece of sh*t" racist… no, not Trump, but definitely a kindred spirit. Days earlier, Representative Maxwell Frost was physically assaulted by a bigoted lunatic, again not Trump, although Trump's voice does speak in a lot of crazy heads.  The Pentagon is temporarily removing the bomb vending machine from their food court. Usha Vance has been successfully impregnated, purportedly by blasphemous idolator JD Vance. Avid moviegoers are rushing to avoid the smash non-hit Melania, the must-miss movie of the season!

A monstrous Leviathan the size of a common Leviathan lies off the coast of KITM World Headquarters, yet David Waldman is focused on only one thing: letting you know what the A-holes are up to today. Buh-KAK! Greg "Banty" Bovino has been tacoed out of Minneapolis. Kristi Noem has been secreted to an undisclosed bunker to determine how to cosplay a civilian. Meanwhile, ICE is still there, here, and everywhere they aren't needed. There is no evidence that ICE will become less stormtrooperesque, in fact they will probably become even more so under Tom "Thumb-face" Holman's command. Marimar Martinez took 5 bullets from an agent and wants her case made public. Minnesota Chief Judge Patrick J. Schiltz has ordered the head of ICE, Todd Lyons to his court where patience is at an end. Democrats really, really plan to do something about all of this. They had better. Why wouldn't you believe what Super President tells you?  There's nothing about Golden Dome that a few trillion couldn't fix, or a discombobulator ray couldn't break. There's a Lootbox with rare Pokémon cards sitting in the Pentagon food court. Other surprises too! You never know what you might find.

Let's gather around and warm ourselves on the glow of David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's wit and punditry. We remain under the cloud of a continuing mass shooting, or perhaps the unofficial public execution of dissidents to the Trump regime. Tomato, tomahto. The official line was much less accurate to that but always has the benefit of coming out first and loudest. "The good guy had a gun, so he was asking for it." argument is wearing thin, as typical person-on-the-street Marjorie Taylor Greene can attest. Gops understand the huge difference between now and Jan 6, and that's in the deadliness of the polling. In this case, they are calling for an investigation and might not even destroy any evidence. What can be done to stop this? Thoughts and prayers can get you arrested, but interrupting thoughts and prayers might not get you indicted. Only the National Guard have enough firepower to show empathy. Democrats strongly call to restrain, reform, restrict and continue to apply alliteration until Republicans submit. They might pull some purse strings also, which might be of some help if those strings reached to Qatar. James Comer throws Trump a TACO lifeline. But Donald is already way ahead of him, throwing Kristi Noem under the bus, installing her un-botoxed twin Tom Holman, Zohran Mamdaning Tim Walz, and declaring victory/retreat. Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor contender Chris Madel throws some smoke bombs of his own and disappears. 

Distinguished Ian Reifowitz, Professor of History and accomplished author, takes an hour off from touring on behalf of his latest tome, "Riling Up the Base: Examining Trump's Use of Stereotypes through an Interdisciplinary Lens" (available at the finest bookshops and atheneums) to talk with David Waldman about George Washington, the Electoral College, Somali slurs, royal decrees by idiot kings, and of course, Trump's use of stereotypes to rile up his base so that he will be envied by all on earth. Lead by diminutive warlord Greg "Banty" Bovino, thousands of Somali militia… no, sorry, thousands of Anti-Somali militia roam the streets in search of new victims. To meet quota, ICE must commit a number of atrocities each day. This is made difficult by people with morals and empathy, but also when people refuse to play with them. Don Lemon so far has not been arrested for reporting the news as it happens.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin give us a thing or two to consider. Babbling dotard Donald K. Trump triumphantly returns to the US following his conquest of Iceland and bestowing upon us an eternal reign of peace. Voters don't like Trump. Voters really don't like Trump. Trump dngaf. Trump has one set of voters that he cares about, and he takes care of them. The rest can go to Hell, and rest assured, Donald has plans underway to bring Hell to the US. ICE aren't peace officers. ICE aren't police officers. ICE is not an immigration enforcement agency. ICE is an organized crime syndicate. ICE is a roving street gang with millions in public relations, and government protection. Matt Gaetz is allowed to do what he wants as long as he doesn't rape kids in court. A New York judge ruled a Gop district there is unconstitutional, but Gop Dan Goldman is screwed either way. RIP Abby.

David Waldman wishes a merry and fulfilling Squirrel Appreciation Day, to those who observe. Greg Dworkin reaches into the anus of the universe and squeezes out more polling to share. There's always room for improvement when it comes to how to respond to madness. Trump ducked another bullet to arrive in Davos last night. Stupid demented degenerate megalomaniac Donald K. Trump vowed that there is no need for him to kill again, as long as everyone complies… except for Greenland, or maybe Iceland… and France… and Svalbard. They had better watch their backs. ICE are not rogue cops. They are good soldiers, just not your army. Demoralization and attrition aren't accidental; they are the objective. Resistance is not enough. Hate has an ever-broadening appeal. Her Excellency, Abigail Spanberger issued an executive order un-deputizing Virginia state police from being ICE lackeys. Dem Garrett McGuire has been specially elected to replace Mark Sickles who is now the new secretary of finance. How did Lindsey Halligan not do it? Federal judges count the ways. Halligan remains wrong till the bitter end.

David Waldman counts the years of this administration and… wait for it… we are beginning... year… Two! Donald K. Trump is a sick puppy. Barack Obama's Nobel prize wouldn't cure him. Obama's inauguration cake couldn't cure him. Nothing that Barack has would make Trump better, really. Every single person everywhere knows exactly what Jonathan Ross did to Renee Good, and why. So, of course, top dollar is being spent to alter those memories. Mom-and-son grifters Nick and Brooke Shirley have surely hit the bigtime. Meanwhile, it's been a bear market for truth, with another wave of resignations from the US Attorney's Office in Minnesota expected. Trump's "roving patrols" are closing in on Americans. Then there's Europe's Minnesota, Greenland. Minnesota and Greenland are exactly the same thing to Donald K. Trump and Vladimir Putin, who are exactly the same thing. Republicans are equally liable to oppose either. Vlad's got an invite to the new Diet United Nations, the BOP, along with anyone else with a GDP in their wallet. President Emmanuel Macron learned never to text capricious tween Trump, who put Macron's text on blast to all the cool kids, and put a 200% tariff on his wines and champagnes… are snails and frog legs next? Back in DC, Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer utmost priority remains to advance President Trump's agenda by belittling and bullying staffers, funding extramarital affairs, committing fraud where possible and dropping her crew off at Mar-a-Lago West, aka Angels PDX.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and podding harder than ever. Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ish Kabibble's birthday, and National False Equivalency Day. So, who thought that giving Donald K. Trump a free Noble prize would placate him? It did not, as acquiesce only makes him angrier. Now Trump will take revenge against the Nobel Prize Committee in Norway by taking Greenland from Denmark. The world isn't laughing anymore, especially not at Billy Long joking about throwing Iceland in on the deal. Bernie Sanders trips over his own shtick. Back at home, most people hate everything that Trump is doing, because most people are sane. Bipartisan agreement between sane and insane can be found on the release of the Epstein files. People oppose ICE when the only thing keeping everyone from being shot are Donald's morals, which leaked out long before half of his brains did. Columbia University graduate Mahmoud Khalil might be rearrested as the law is rearranged to disfavor him. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Lindsey remains an attorney no matter what the law says, because the law is irrelevant to this administration.  Stinkiest human windfarm, Donald pardons the worst crap, as often as it pleases him, or makes others angry, he doesn't put much thought into it. Trump endorses a candidate who is not yet running against her opponent, who is an incumbent who usually supports him. Good news! Virginia welcomes Her Excellency, Governor Abigail Spanberger, already making state colleges and universities smarter. The state is also redistricting, in the good direction. Bad news! Anything being produced by Bari Weiss, and OG bad news, Fox News.

David Waldman finally ends the week to review all the crap that happened and predict all the crap that is coming. That's a lot of crap! Donald is joking again! LOL. We should never take him seriously, but literally from now on. If only he spent his time only annexing Nobel prizes. The Proud Boys: Redux lays siege to Minneapolis, guarding the urinal of Greg "Banty" Bovino, demanding the papers of those demanding their papers, holding 5-year-olds hostage, and generally being assholes. And placing Dakota Tribe Native-Americans into concentration camps, aka MAGA. Donald K. Trump manifests his destiny again to Greenland, future dukedom of his grace, Lord Ronald Lauder. 4,000 US soldiers deploy to Norway in the first scene of a great movie.  Trump keeps a half billion here and there in coffee cans on fridges throughout the Middle East. Pete Hague-seth believes a good name for a US propaganda outlet might be "Stars and Stripes". The illusion of democracy persists with a small group of Senators attempting to revive Obamacare. Felony convict Tina Peters wants out of prison. The courts second guess themselves. Governor Jared Polis publicly argues with himself, as the rest of his staff plead, STFU boss! To think that this all started when a woman dreamt that her head fell off, which inspired a groundswell of heads to fall off across the nation.

David Waldman returns for The Final Episode of KITM… Or maybe that's tomorrow? Let's just take this one day at a time. Greg Dworkin returns from the world-leading source of AI-assisted undressing, somehow fully clothed, but with new polling on the Texas Senate primaries. Support for ICE'S collapsing, as they break laws and crack heads around Minneapolis and elsewhere. ICE'S optics are bad when they are never good... and always evil. Mayor Jacob Frey's forces are outnumbered. Tim Walz wants more witnesses. Todd Blanche wants Walz and Frey in Cecot. Ritchie Torres wants fast self-serve checkout. Gop wannabe Bruce Blakeman wants the opposite of whatever Kathy Hochul wants. All ICE wants are to be big men with big paychecks, and they will come up short on both. It would hurt more if they had to put time and effort into their jobs, which obviously they don't. ICE is leaving victims' cars on the road for people to collect, but also their own cars, and munitions. Hey! The DHS claims that Jonathan Ross is bleeding from his whatever, so there! They aren't the only dummies! The Gop House sent the wrong Obamacare bill to the Senate, because you know they have been so busy lately. And of course, homogenized ass-whole Donald K. Trump would destroy the world if only he could stay awake long enough. Pop-up nuclear reactors should get the apocalypse out of the way soon. Mini reactors are brought to you by those safety-minded folks in Russia, and Jeffrey Epstein!

Due to recent levels of chaos and insanity in the news, today's Whiskey Wednesday KITM with David Waldman will be followed this week by Meth Thursday and Freebase Friday. While hanging around the world clearinghouse for sexual deepfakes and child exploitation images, Greg Dworkin discovered several positive polling shifts for the Democratic party.  Just about everyone has seen Renee Good murdered. Most of them believe that ICE should not have murdered her. Most believe that ICE gunmen should be prosecuted and their reign of terror should end.  Most people are not MAGA. Everyone knows Good was murdered. It's just that some people like murder and want to see more of it. Joe Rogan isn't catering to those people. JD Vance absolutely is. The expected "She was no angel" smears are being replaced with lynch mobs, while six Fed prosecutors quit rather than persecute-prosecute Renee's widow. 20,000 lone gunmen might be in your town tonight. If only Jerome Powell complied, his tragedy might have been averted. The imperial boomerang returns to take out native people, again.  The bad news is, the weaker Trump becomes, the more dangerous he becomes. The good news is, all of this bad news is because Trump is becoming weaker. Trump can't save Tony Dokoupil but can take credit for him. Gops team up to kill Gop bills.  Republicans always knew Donald K. Trump was crazy. Chuck Schumer may end up looking like a genius. Scott Adams remains dead but will never have worms.

David Waldman is back for the thirteenth most progressively stupid day this year. Just wait until you see tomorrow! PERFIIIIIDY!!! Pete Hagueseth is making certain that he checks off every possible war crime in his first year on the job. Disguising war planes as civilian planes is ill-advised unless you want all of your civilian planes treated like war planes. Not feeding his own soldiers at Fort Greely is a nice touch. The Left was right about Trump. They always were, everyone knew, but it's fun and profitable to pretend otherwise. What are we going to do about it, impeach him again? South Korea has a better idea. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, is turning out to be not she-wolf enough for Flatulent Führer Donald K. Trump, although her Civil Rights Division finally get that they aren't really in that business anymore.  Jeanine Pirro doesn't want to be left out of the stupid, so she freelanced the subpoenas and criminal investigation of Jerome Powell. That is, she's "just asking questions", like they always did on Fox. Ex NYC Mayor Eric Adams introduced a memecoin which some think is a rug pull, which makes sense, because that is why people introduce memecoins. ICE continues to maraud. Protect yourself. Protect others. Expect lies. Expect it to get worse. Scott Adams, now certified horse parasite free.

David Waldman cheerfully returns with another KITM, even after Amy Poehler stole his award. Greg Dworkin reports on some polling that he found on a porn site. That's the good news. The rest of it, and there is a lot of it, is pretty bad. The good news would be if all this bad news will lead to a turning point. We got to bottom out sometime! ICE'S enough to make anybody cuss, and it is probably time to think of worse curse words to describe what's going on. Everybody is trying to figure how to handle ICE, but their whole point letting everyone know they can't be handled. Might means right is their message, even when they play the victim. That is how they can make this woman into a trained assassin. In fact, that is how they make any woman into both an existential threat and an easy target. Hey-Oh, we won't be silent while our friends are gunned down. Gaseous dotard Donald K. Trump somehow rules America with fear and is tearing apart the world. He's an easily duped moron who would be happy to destroy the world tomorrow if he knew humankind's final moments would be spent envying him. Today's target, as suggested by Machiavellian cretin Bill Pulte, is Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell. Tomorrow's target is the CEO of ExxonMobil.  Governor Jared Polis of Colorado is cowed. The Washington National Opera is not. Former Representative Mary Peltola is bringing the good fight to the Alaska Senate race. RIP Bob Weir, the late great Grateful Dead founding member.

David Waldman added a second stick of butter to his breakfast whiskey sour this morning yet still felt a little under the weather. At least it's Friday! The shooting spree continues following the Renee Good murder with a husband and wife shot in their car in Portland. The White House has no slurs prepared for them at this time, since everyone is still working on the Good case. Efforts to gaslight have been hampered somewhat by all the witness video, but after Jan 6 they're becoming old hands at this. Donald K. Trump is pretty certain Joe Biden is behind all this, but probably also AI. Kristi Noem doxxed her perp agent, Jonathan Ross. Ross could've been screened for PTSD, anger issues, etc. before being put out on the streets, but if they did that, who would be left on the force?  Constitutional sheriffs would be against this if they weren't so for this. So. WTF is wrong with Trump? Is he ProtoNeoKing? Or does Tiny Hands have a männerbund of Littlefingers pulling his degenerate strings? According to Trump, only his morality keeps him nuking the world… and who would he have to read his posts? Thus, he restrains himself to annexing Greenland and public golf courses. Tulsi Gabbard was just hired to sit there and look pretty, as was, of course, Lindsey Halligan, Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi, and Pete Hegseth. John A. Sarcone III is no looker but is still worthless. Various people under the impression that a government still exists voted to extend Obamacare subsidies for 3 years but were unable to override vetoes of 2 bills that had passed unanimously. Some in the Senate fail to understand that this is Trump's neo-monarchy.

David Waldman presents today's KITM, sadly under the cloud of yet another mass shooting as part of the ICE shooting spree across the United States. Five people are dead so far, and the killers are still on the loose. There might not be many suspects however, because there really aren't that many ICE. Nonetheless, good luck catching any as they move from town to town. One day after the fifth anniversary of Jan 6, MAGA are reminding everyone of their respect for and compliance with law enforcement. With ICE it also helps to avoid frustrating, angering, or interacting with them in any way, and never, ever interfere with their influencing side-hustle. Minnesota psychosexual racism hustler Nick Shirley is surely saddened that his hustle might come to end because of one little homicide. Help is on the way to Nick in the form of many future homicides in the near future. The Trump administration are never the ones to let facts get in the way of a good time. Renee Nicole Good might have been a widow returning from dropping her child off at daycare, but we are now reminded that she was no angel. Kristi Noem says Renee was a trained assassin. Donald K. Trump can't believe that his ICE agent escaped her with his life seeing how profusely he was bleeding from his ear and all… The FBI is blocking Minnesota investigators from the case. Schools close across Minneapolis... Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, you know what else David talked about today? Our arbitrary and capricious president might be an unreasoning dotard, but others might be playing 4D chess with Donald, not as a pawn, but as a proto-neo-king. With clankers doing all our thinking soon, it won't be what you know but what neo-royalty you have become aligned with. Goodbye international law and cooperation, welcome back trillionaire God-kings.

David Waldman delivers another dispatch from and for the reality-based community. 2026 and still no video on this cast, because we know what you would do with it. Speaking of reality-based, we are back around to another anniversary of January 6. Keep it in mind, tightly, because they will always try to take that memory away. It was only a matter of time before Stephen Miller expanded his master race weltanschauung to other countries. The US may take whatever it wants because it can take whatever it wants, and no country can stop us! Not historically a well-received move, but it might work for us! The "Donald K. Trump coup d'état-of-the-week plan" isn't exactly "regime change". The intent isn't to create puppet governments, but zombie governments that can be pointed in the right direction with a torch every once in a while. Trump is doing this for two reasons. One, because he can. Two, because you can't stop him. Illegality is the point for Trump and MAGA. Megyn Kelly used to be all for that sort of thing, but now she has 16- and 14-year-old boys… well, you know the story. And then there is money. A zombie state would be great to experiment on, implant an economy, see how it goes. Betting markets can wager on how long it will survive. If the zombie survives, you have a slave, if not, you feed it to the other zombies.