Scream Queens

The ineffectiveness of the answer may surprise you!We're back after a seasonal (read: COVID-19) hiatus and the failed piloting of another cursed format, absolutely and Honestly of our own frEe wilL and not out of fear of any Particular Russian tyrant. This week, after a brief comedic foray into the current geopolitical landscape to try and lighten it the fuck up a bit, we explore the adventures of everyone's favourite not-so-much-a cannibal Robert Maudsley also known as the "Brain Eater" for reasons that completely allude us, and that's not even a little bit of a joke.  So, join us on this journey from his extremely depressing early days, to his not-so-great teen years, to his absolute shit show of an adulthood there has always been one constant: Nuns! Just sayin'.  In these times of potential missile strikes, prudish green M&Ms, and a Minnie Mouse from HR, aren't you glad to have us back all the same?www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

Does humming the song protect you from copyright infringement laws? We hope so, because we celebrate being the 63rd highest ranking podcast in Ecuador by attempting to hum "Ecuador" by Sash!, which turns out to be pretty much impossible.Further celebrations are called for because in an incredibly rare occurrence this week we talk about what we said we were go to talk about - three cheers for basic planning and follow through!This week we discuss the 2021 film The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, released earlier this year. Note that they've stopped including the numeration in the title and that's because aside from The Warrens, tonally this film doesn't seem to belong in this universe at all and clearly they've just tagged it on as a way to cash in on the audience of an established franchise. Based on the real life trial of Arne Cheyenne Johnson (not Jackson), who famously was the first person in US history to use demonic possession as a defense against the charge of murdering his landlord - and who could blame him, amirite ladies? Apparently it was done in England twice before this though, which really makes you wonder.So join us as we take you through the film, all its ridiculousness,  Lorraine's questionable fashion choices, and all Patrick Wilson's handsomeness, in preparation for next week's investigation into the real life case. Waterbeds - one of the few things not to be afraid of. UNTIL NOW.www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting#WheresMyGazeboPatrick?

Are you a "When She was Bad" Hair, or "Amends" Hair? Either way, Sarah Michelle Gellar is never allowed cut her hair again. In keeping with the new format, this week we're following up on last week's episode with the true life story which inspired Scream 4. But of course, this being the Scream franchise, even this murder is extremely meta because it was inspired by the original Scream. So it's very chicken and the egg-y.This week we are discussing the murder of Cassie Jo Stoddart which unfortunately was not committed by a singy-song murder who turned her into a music box. She was a Sagittarius though, so she probably had it coming. Set in a stupid smiling Mormon town which was literally named "Whispering Cliff" as if they weren't expecting fucking horrible things to happen to there. Or maybe Whispering Cliff was a person? We're not sure to be honest. But either way, things play out exactly as you expect - straight out of a horror movie!www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on Spotify! Well surprise Bitch, bet you'd thought you had seen the last of us. Well, that's because we told you it was, but actually did we though? Not officially.We've risen from the dead with Season 2, on our one year Anniversary to be exact (Billy & Stu would approve). It's been a long *checks episode list* six months and we've missed you terribly. You probably didn't notice we were gone, unless you're one of our listeners in Virginia where we're surprisingly popular for some reason, or the Russian bot that's scanning for mentions of their supreme leader. If you're a newbie to the podcast, check out our "Trailer" for Season 2, which is just a "Best of Season 1"  because apparently we don't know what a trailer is. This Season we've decided to blend our love of fictional (mostly) horror with the true life horrors humanity continues to do to each other with episodes comprised of film rewatches alternated with the true crimes they were inspired by/inspired.But if you know what you're in for and for some reason have decided to press on anyway, join us we go back to where it all began, to our namesake (kinda) as we discuss the unsung hero of the Scream franchise: the oft-forgotten and critically under-viewed Scream 4 (2011) which, fun fact, Conor went to see instead of attending a funeral. In anticipation of its long-awaited sequel, we have rewatched, extensively analysed, and discussed the journey of the franchise from a mildly meta iconic horror film, to an overwhelming self-referential metacommentary on the grotesquely overrun remake/reboot Hollywood craze, and SCATHING satire of social media and millennial culture.  We Stan. We can't help but wonder if there are certain "rules" to surviving Season 2 of a podcast, so if any of you know them, please slip into our DMs: www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

In anticipation of Season 2 of Scream Queens we decided to update our trailer with some of our best bits of Season 1 - because we don't know what a trailer is apparently!We hope you enjoy this something of a recap, timestamps for the episodes are below. Give us a subscribe, or follow us on Instagram @screamqueenspodcasting00:00:25Episode 2 - You're All Going to Die Up There00:07:08Episode 3 - God is Good, God is Kool(aid)00:16:06Episode 4 - You Stay Here and Run the Website00:23:43Episode 5 - Where is My Emotional Support Butter?00:32:44Episode 8 - Why Don't You Come Up to My Crypt and Cut Off My Head Sometime?00:39:51Episode 11 - I Saw Goody Badwife Dancing With the Devil!00:47:19Episode 13 - Soon, Soon, My Little Pink Dahlia00: 57:01Episode 14 - There's Lots of Guys to Meat on Grindr01:06:07Episode 17 - Forty Whacks With a Wet Noodle01:13:23Episode 18 - AHS Season 5 Was Overrated

Oh you want a synopsis, do ya? Well have ALL THE SYNOPSES IN THE WORLD.So we're gonna keep this short & sweet, because every few weeks we endeavor to keep our episodes to an hour max and then immediately decide to not stick to those rules. So here we have it folks, our short episode of the month, so ignore Dannii's warning at the beginning that this is a long one - it isn't. She also warns it's missing loads of details - it also isn't. This week we're discussing H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H Holmes and his murder hotel. Not to be confused with the murder hotel in American Horror Story: Hotel which also featured a murder hotel that was even more of a murder hotel than this murder hotel, because it was a composite of this murder hotel and another famous murder hotel. Understood? Great!Murder hotel!Meanwhile, Conor discusses his foray into Millionaire Madwoman territory and Dannii just can't wait to visit a literally abandoned town and to be honest we're all going to really miss her, aren't we?  *Crickets*Dannii's dead father also makes an appearance as a potential merch option, for anyone who really wants to test the boundaries of taste and really, really want to be haunted by a man who in no way could possibly approve of a) anything on this podcast, and b) being turned into a literal piece of merch for that podcast he definitely hates from beyond the grave.P.S. Nailed it on the Simpsons Quote Jar thing. 

Lizzie Borden took an axe,and gave her mother forty whacks,and when he saw what she had done,she gave her father forty-one.So basically none of that is true whatsoever, but you know what they say: never let the truth get in the way of a good-old terrifying children's song about a violent parenticide! In this episode we tell the story of the homely and quite honestly FREELOADING Borden sisters, who may or may not have brutally murdered their DISGUSTINGLY RICH father and STEPmother. It's with good reason too because these two bitches just weren't bothered getting a) married, b) their own place, or c) A GODDAMN JOB. Did one of them do it alone? Were they in on it together? Did Sister Borden leave town, or did she just tell everyone she did as an alibi? And what are the chances that their moustache-twiddling, cloak-wearing, cane-stomping uncle would be in town that very weekend? It's all highly suspect - which is what makes this episode so fun!We also discuss society's obsession with the wicked stepmother trope and you can probably guess why, which segues into discussions on sex and porn, somehow without mentioning any involving step-family narratives. I mean it was RIGHT THERE.Special appearance by another bumbling police force, though in fairness this time they were just severely hindered by the limitations of science at the time, and their misogynistic opinions of women. Special disappearance by the "sea turtle having sex noise" we threaten to edit into the clip at 18:34 because we definitely did not do that. Just look it up on YouTube. Also featuring the introduction of our Simpsons Quote Jar, where we have to put money into a cup every time that we unauthorizedly use their property without their permission. This will lead to our homelessness, so I don't see this lasting beyond this episode.What the fuck is a wet noodle? 

Sophie has been doing a lot of "dr...awings" lately, and we're all very concerned. Don't be fooled, this not an intervention for a listener named Sophie! She genuinely is just drawing and for some reason she's going to draw us, but she hasn't yet so maybe she won't, but she really should. This is a special episode because for the first time ever, Dannii thinks this story is a FAKE, which literally never happens because no matter what she says she has definitely handed her wallet over to a "wallet inspector."In this episode we discuss A (possible) HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT (maybe). This is the story of Carmen and Al Snedeker who moved their family (including their niece for some reason?) from New York City to Connecticut (gross!) because their son was terminally ill (also gross!) to their new house which seemed perfect until immediately after moving in discover that their basement comes with a fully intact embalming operation (so gross!). In a completely unsurprisingly turn of events, moving into a former funeral home leads to some spectacularly outrageous "haunting" events. But first, we get a nice healthy dose of parental denial of things such as whispering wallpaper, being constantly swarmed by an army of black crows, and overt demonic possession. We also play a dangerous game of "If I Quit, Who Would You Replace Me With?" which means this may be the last ever episode of Scream Queens, at least in its current form, because one of us might be dead. Which by the way would be an even better podcast called "Dannii & Conor (Deceased)"Special appearance by a story about a girl we know who accidentally turned into a ghost from a low budget horror movie while attempting to change a bedsheet.P.S. Turns out we're both right. Trisket is meat, Triscuits are biscuits. But Brisket is also meat, but Briscuits are not biscuits. I dare you to count how many words in this synopsis begin with the letter "N" and tell Conor he's wrong. 

We're back to the cursed format we're always terrified of doing, particularly one with basically no research either beyond finding a pre-written article - this time not from Good Housekeeping, at least. To be honest we've enough self-researched episodes out there that we can get away with it, unlike that time we did it in our second ever episode.And speaking of cursed formats, we're discussing Cursed Movies - not just of "The Ring" die-when-you-watch-it nature, but also movies that have had HORRIBLE things happen to the people involved in making them, sometimes in goosebump-inducingly coincidental ways - often involving planes for some reason! If the devil does indeed exist, he spends a lot of time hanging around film sets. Though to be honest, if the movie I was watching opened with an 8-minute documentary I wouldn't be waiting seven days to die. Don't worry, we do lament the fact that we totally missed out on an opportunity to have a Valentines themed episode, and as usual about 20 off-topic stories that dramatically increases the runtime of this episode which should have been a short one right up to the 2 hour mark, including our Myers-Briggs Personalities basically because Conor outright refuses to believe that Dannii is an introvert. (Turns out afterwards she is though).Treacle Further.Featuring:Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)Snuff: An American Cannibale (1976)Poltergeist (1982)The Blair Witch Project (1999)The Omen (1976)The Crow (1994)The Exorcist (1973)Rosemary's Baby (1968)ATUK (----)Dannii Did the Itchy! (2021)

HEYllo whatsupyouguys? Do you remember that episode of the IT Crowd with the cannibal who places a personal ad to find someone to eat? Well, turns out that before Graham Linehan was a transphobic arsehole, he was also not very original.In this episode we explore the case of Armie Ham-eh, I mean Armin Meiwes, a son of a police office who could somehow afford to build a house modelled on a giant Rubix cube who's mother was apparently responsible for turning him into a homosexual cannibal, because you know, it's ALWAYS the mother's fault. He's also a noted Sagittarius, which explains so much.However, our Armie (not THAT Armie) knows his worth and only wants to eat men who actually want him to eat them (you go, girl!) As it turns out an alarming amount of gay men are willing to literally die for the cock, and even have demands about how they want to be served - because gay! So in truly fabulous style, our Armie rolls out the yankee candles, flowers, and literally potato fucking dauphinoise. Honestly! Those gays! Always going the extra mile. Shame he put them in his literal sex dungeon of literal cages and meat hooks. Bringing whole new meaning to a Grindr Meet/Hook-Up.Unsuprisingly, Dannii endorses eating people, and Conor gets annoyed that he is now too old to even get a reply from a literal fucking cannibal on Grindr, if his personal ad was anything to go by. Conor & Danni also explore the luxuries of the Irish prison system, the potential benefits eating dolphins, and how reinstating the death penalty may be what brings us all together again after COVID has been eliminated. We also take on cyber bullies! FUCK YOU CYBER BULLIES.Pay no attention to the cum stains on the mirror.

Were the gold-rushing McCloud brothers murdered by some Native Americans trying to protect the land? Or did they get into a fiery fight with a vengeful bear?Did the Dyatlov Pass campers die of hypothermia as the Russian government claims, or were they attacked by a radioactive bear with laser eyes?Did the Sodder (yes, Sodder) children perish in an electrical fire? Or were they kidnapped by some Mussolini fanatics? Or did they also get into a fiery fire with an angry bear? OR did the bear save them from the fire to live their new lives together in Kentucky? Did freeloading and homely Lizzie Borden murder her wealthy father and stepmother in order to inherit his wealth and marry her uncle? Was her uncle a moustache-twiddling, cloak-billowing, top hat-wearing bear?In this episode we take turns telling short tales of still unsolved disappearances and murders with varying degrees of what-the-fuckery and some pretty ridiculous public reactions. No, not Madeline McCann for reasons Dannii explores but Conor will not dare repeat.Once again we try to cram too much into one episode and run out of time before we get through them all because we just never learn our damn lesson, but we are going to explore some of these stories and the ones we didn't read in the future because to be honest they deserve full length episodes.FUN FACT: Every time we've recorded an episode in this format we have hated it and ended up throwing the whole baby away with the bathwater (need future episode exploring the origin of this expression btw) - so sorry if it's shite. Sponsored by Wagner Cruises.

We did it! Us crazy bastards finally did it! A reasonable length episode! Who knew we had it in us? This is basically the length we've always wanted our episodes to be but gave up trying because let's face it WE'VE JUST BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN YOU GUYS.Speaking of fun, do you know what's really fun? WITCHCRAFT. That's right - throughout recorded history the darks arts have intrigued our society through both works of fiction (Shakespeare's Weird Sisters are personal faves of Conor's) or through personal accounts. Well, in this episode we don't really get to explore that because we take a trip back to famously fun and lighthearted colonial Massachusetts were nothing terrible ever happens to a small town called Salem, which you may have heard of from the film Hocus Pocus. Well, it turns out the whole place was a fucking shit show and we explore why. Basically two little white rich bitches got hopped up on some good old fashioned lye parasite and bloodlusty Christian pilgrims used it as an opportunity to murder a load of people. Not the little white girls though - no no, mostly women of ill-repute such as widows, women who displayed independent thought, or ones who gardens were just too damn luscious. And don't get us started on the slavery. All we can say is if Tituba actually was a witch they all had it coming to them. We also complain about joggers, people complaining about Night Stalker, Fran Lebowitz complaining about everything, and "Grimey 80's Dance Sleazy" (whatever that is).

Happy New Year (again, we guess!)Have you any New Years Resolutions? We take you through some of our bad habits (and facial hair choices - cough cough) and take you through the resolutions we've made to combat them. Trigger Warning for Dry January - but we'll see how long we last because arguably this podcase depends on us being lubricated.Speaking of Trigger Warnings, you may have noticed we have a fancy new Anonymous-esque disclaimer on this episode. That's because on this episode we are discussing The Ken & Barbie Killers. What's that you say? "Is this a podcast about the crime spree we're about to go on?" Of course not! We would never reveal the details of our mastermind scheme. This week we are discussing Paul Bernardo & Karla Homolka, the beautiful blonde Canadian married couple forwardslash serial killers who together raped and murdered at least three teenage girls between 1990 and 1993 - including Karla's own sister. FUN! So as you've probably gathered that though we do our usual best to lighten the mood, this episode may be a heavy one for certain listeners, so do feel free to sit this one out if that's the case - we'll catch you next week.We also discuss the 2020 Documentary "Don't Fuck With Cats" and Conor absolutely spoils everything about it between19:20 -20:10 in case you haven't seen it yet - in which case, what the fuck have you been during this whole pandemic?Russia .

Happy New Year, guys!And also we should say Merry Christmas because you may have noticed (some of you with delight) that we didn't release our Christmas episode last week for reasons we explain herewithin. Our chaotic energy, you gotta love it!So we're burning the corpse of 2020 and high-stepping into 2021 with the tale of the Highgate Vampire, a seemingly easily startled prince of darkness who frequented Highgate Cemetery in the late 1960s/early 70s. Disclaimer: Was it even a vampire? It doesn't sound like it, but that doesn't matter! All of London bought into a shared delusion that there was one and let themselves get whipped up into a corpse-desecrating frenzy cemetery vandalism. You should never let the truth get in the way of a good story in his hunt for vampires and/or fame. We also meet the Hag of Swains Lane, a much less mythological but equally iconic creature who spent her days on the adjoining street of the cemetery. Was she the one who's been pushing people over? And possibly most importantly of all, we meet David Farrant and Sean Manchester, rival Vampire-hunters who publicly feuded in the press right up until David's passing following a rumoured MAGICIAN'S DUEL, and to be honest we're left to assume that the feud continues with Manchester hunting David's vampiric spectre. So strap yourselves in guys, cos its a long one but its SO GOOD we just couldn't cut it down. Not even the five minutes where Conor & Dannii literally just laugh into their microphones for five (yes, five) whole minutes. This occurs around the 01:24:00 mark if you want to skip - but we don't recommend that.

Finally, our first special guest! You remember all those really interesting people that we keep threatening to get on the Podcast to tell you all about their experiences from their unique perspective? Well, none of them! Instead, we have Oisin - a straight man (booooo!) who is somehow both a professional wrester and construction manager (the only two career options straight men can have!) He's a huge fan of the show (and a fellow Irishman!). So join us as we gather around, shout over, fight, and casually bully each other. It's just like a good old fashioned Irish funeral. Or wedding. Or a demonic bride at a funeral. Which is apparently commonplace in Monaghan.As this is the first time Dannii has been able to speak to more than one Irish person at a time this year, we take the opportunity to discuss Irish folklore. So we're talking The Banshee, The Demon Bride (or Divorcee) of Monaghan, and The Dearg-Due to name a few. We uncover Ireland’s strange obsession with depicting beautiful women as being pure evil (not a surprise). But in doing so, we find out that Dannii is literally all of the legendary creatures we discuss - including the god damn Alp-Luachra. And like the Alp-Luachra, she’s nothing that a good old case of gout won't clear right up. SO FETCH!Of course, us being us, we manage to steer extremely off-topic onto depressed vaginas, dead (and not so-dead) celebrities, tampon-tossers, a detour into so-terrible-they're -great 90's dickflick movies, and potential names for our listeners.So join us as Dannii takes Conor and Oisin through her C.V, while they teach her what the hell a doppelgänger is, and we all learn that only in Ireland would you pay people to turn up to cry at your funeral, because you just know that Brid Reilly one would be only counting them.

If you were in pain, would you pull your own hair out to take your mind of it? Conor thinks "no, that's insane", but apparently its Dannii's go to move when she's having a bad time - but maybe she'd feel differently if she didn't buy her hair on Amazon Prime. As we head into the festive season, we discuss the still unsolved Hinterkaifeck murders, which didn't take place at Christmas time, but there was snow involved so you know, what: you take what you can get. We meet Andreas Gruber (not the Austrian Screenwriter who looks like Lord Farquaad) and his family, and then swiftly un-meet them because they get murdered by his own invention (maybe) pretty much immediately because Dannii's writing ability lacks world-building - including a three year old which actually made this episode extremely difficult to make jokes about, because what a mood killer, am I right?Meanwhile, Dannii and Conor decide to publicly address the issues within their co-host dynamic, and Dannii finds out that what she considers an extravagant special occasion is just literally a gay man's Wednesday night (Honestly, straight people are so basic) We also dissect the "Crazy Girlfriend" trope for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and let's face it guys, if you stopped gaslighting your girlfriend maybe she wouldn't be insane?So join us in this episode where we meet a mastermind cow, nazi-zombies, some more incompetent but well-meaning police (our favourite kind), and poor goddamn Maria Baumgartner - the unluckiest maid in the fucking world.As it turns out, the only thing worse than a houseguest overstaying their welcome is one who turns up uninvited, never announces their arrival, secretly lives in the walls, murders your entire family, then just stops giving fuck and full on eats your food. And then while investigating, the police also eat your fucking food. But in fairness if you keep a wheel of Camembert in the fridge, what do you expect?Trigger warning for incest(?!!) unless that's your thing, in which case, DM Conor for some great newtumbl.com links.

We always knew that eventually we'd mess up and have to scramble to put together a last minute episode. We had just hoped it wouldn't be five episodes in. But here we are.After having to scrap this week's planned episode due to inebriation, and failing to secure yet another guest (this time not Dannii's hot brother) due to a scheduling conflict of the paranormal kind, we present this hastily whipped up episode on demonic possession with mere minutes of preparation, and recorded the night before release because we like to live on the edge. We explore the real-life story of one of the few exorcisms that the Catholic Church has ever released the details of. Apparently they're happening all the time and they're just not allowed talk about them, just like some other activities of said church. It's the exorcism of Emma Schmidt (or Anna Auckland, whichever you prefer)! A young woman who loved churning butter, who had supposedly been possessed (possibly BY the butter churn), then cured, then subsequently "repossessed" (not like that), and finally underwent an exorcism that lasted several months with the help of some burly no-nonsense nuns.In the week that our Spotify Wrappeds have been released, we try to come up with a name for our listeners and fail miserably (TBC), while celebrating Dannii's new job, sexy priests, and butter festivals. We also discuss Conor's childhood sexual attraction to Antoine de Caunes (which has only grown), and his father's theory that gay men don't beat up old people. All this while providing glimpses into why this week's planned episode needs to be re-recorded for release at a later date, which is kind of ironic because to be honest this one is a hot mess. But we spent a great deal of this episode laughing, so hope you will too.

Have you ever wondered to yourself "If I was a cult leader which one would I be?"And how about "which celebrity is most like the cult leader that I would be?"Well now what if I told you that the answer to this (and many more of life's questions) lies in the stars? That's right, its every millennial's favourite instagram trend! Astrology!Love it, or hate its, it enables us to make fun of entire groups of people via sweeping generalised statements for the only thing that is acceptable anymore in 2020; when they were born (Fuck you, Geminis)But wait? Isn't this a follow up to last weeks Cults episode? What does astrology have to do with that? A LOT.This week we explore tragically comedic/comedically tragic Heaven's Gate - Marshal Applewhite(not Bottom)'s orgy of Christian theology, new age drama and Science Fiction - complete with Luciferians, comet-tail riding alien gods, and an actual SPACE JESUS. It's a real doozy. We also meet Linda, who assume runs the cult's still active website, and oh my god if she is not our favourite person in the world. However, a poorly thought out email to her ended up in our instagram getting disabled briefly. In this episode we also play Conor's THE BEST GAME IN THE WORLD(citation needed) to explore not only the birth charts of the big league cult leaders, but also match them up with their celebastrodopplegangers who share their placements so we know which celebrities (varying degrees of fame/hilarity) we should keep an eye on. We also learn of Conor's recent foray in accidental witchcraft by summoning the ghost of Stevie Nicks to literally assault a woman, and Dannii visiting old friends in grave yards. She also calls Conor "Phat"... apparently....This episode has somehow managed to be longer than our "Halloween" special, but we don't care because at this point we've accepted that its pointless for us to even attempt to put a time limit on this thing.

Are Podcasts Cults? We certainly hope so, because it bodes well for us.This episode is the first of a two part-er about Cults, which we will probably keep coming back to over and over again because let's face it: cults are fascinating. Not just because they're a perfect example of how evil human nature and the societal structures they create can be, but also of just how unbelievably stupid even seemingly intelligent people can be, and how absolutely mental some of the most seemingly nice people can be. First we examine modern day cults ranging from double penetrating exercise regimes (I don't know her), throwing "stones" at shaming circle diet plans, TV, and "Wellness" (*DISCLAIMER: Brands mentioned may or may not be cults) - along with that pyramid scheme that Conor once got indoctrinated into. Then we look at Jim Jones, the Jonestown Massacre, and the events that led up to it in order to examine just what the hell is wrong people, and how Drugs, Sex & An Unchecked Male Ego can lead to disaster - Who knew? (We did. We literally all did). Special Guest appearance by Pegga Pig (that bitch) as well as Danni's really unexpected accusation that single people don't have anything to live for, so why would they NOT join a cult?So sit down, make yourself comfortable, and pour yourself a tall glass of Kool-Aid (or rather, Flavour Aid, because that shit ain't cheap!)

Ki, Ki, Ki, Ma, Ma, Ma - Wow writing it down actually spoils that entire movie. No wonder Scream didn't give a shit about spoiling it for literally everyone who hadn't (and still hasn't) seen it.Allegedly unlucky for most, but lucky for us, the follow up to our Halloween Premiere comes very serendipitously on Friday the 13th. We're refusing to call this a "Special" because if we did it would be five hours long and literally no-one wants that. In this episode we explore the cultural history of Friday the 13th, as well as some of whackiest superstitions from around the globe - like why it's the perfect excuse to not invite your racist Aunt to your dinner party! To be honest, they pale in comparison to our own personal ones (and our Irish mothers') which may actually be expressions of undiagnosed mental illnesses.Then we take a trip to Camp Crystal L .. I mean, Lake Bodom, where we explore the murders of a group of (presumably) sexy sexy teens at the hands (or Hans?) of a still unidentified slasher, and attempt to solve it ourselves. This true crime thriller episode ripped right out of an 80's horror movie - complete with an actual disgruntled shopkeeper issuing fatalistic but ultimately ignored warnings, and a bumbling but delightfully well-meaning police force. Also a former KGB spy who absolutely LIVES for the DRAMA.It's the real "Friday the 13th", which actually really happened, though not actually on Friday the 13th, We also celebrate Traveller grave decor, Conor's mother's talons, the opposite of nazis, and our Number #1 Australian fan Charlene McDonnell - sadly not an actress on Neighbours (at least yet).So dive right in, and let us drag you under!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!The pubs & clubs are closed, house parties are now quite literally "deadly", and Conor's sluttiest costumes are gathering dust at the back of the wardrobe, so why not join us as we gather around the dimly lit glow of the campfire (or your smartphone) as we tell ghost stories and get told off about our use of Púca Scéal by a delightfully disgruntled primary school teacher.This premiere episode introduces our first "I'd Rather Die" segment, where we watch critically panned horror movies so you don't have to. This week we're looking at the universally reviled American Poltergeist, but is it actually American Poltergeist? It's definitely American, its definitely a poltergeist, and its definitely a crock of shite, so really it doesn't matter anyway?Then we look at the real horror stories closer to home. No, not the Catholic Church or Gemma O'Doherty, though those episodes are inevitable. Conor and Dannii explore the hauntings of Loftus Hall, and The Hellfire Club. It’s like The Haunting of Bly Manor, but with less ridiculous accents, and without the 9-hour gay ghost love story. Though, both haunted sites have seen their fair share of action from our hosts.

Ahead of the release of Episode 1 on Halloween we thought it would be a nice idea to soft launch with this introductory episode so you can get to know us, as we get to know each other as we all get to know Satan, who knows us well.