Stupid Fat Hobbits

Remember to leave a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts for a chance at a free t-shirt (for once this is real, not a bit). We will read all new reviews on the show  next season.----The revelry continues with five more callers. Break out the ale and enjoy the denouement! Thanks to all who listened to the show. We could not have done it without the peasants.Guests on Part Two:1. Megan of Lorien, guardian of Tolkien's vision2. Andrew of Pittsburgh, musician, pre-esquire and Smeagol impersonator3. Tom of Two Worlds, high inquisitor and enthusiast of both Star Wars and LOTR4. Nancy & Mark of Virginia, sniping sibling duo and and extraordinary storytellers of tales gone by.Topics Include:- Cinematic Interpretations of LOTR vs Tolkien's Vision- Band feuds- How the show got started- An Impromptu LOTR Impersonation Contest- Aragorn vs Luke Skywalker- Carrying LOTR weapons around in daily life- Why you shouldn't help your family- Ignoring your friends and stealing graduation gifts- Hello...hello...is Johnny?- The meaning of life in one word

Remember to leave a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts for a chance at a free t-shirt (for once this is real, not a bit). We will read all new reviews on the show  next season. ----We've made it to the end of another successful season! Thank you all for your ideas, jokes, insults, memes, commentary, feedback, and encouragement. It's been quite astonishing seeing so many peasants contribute to this community. As is tradition, the lads take listener calls during the finale.  Guests for Part One:1. The Infamous "Thelan Den" of the Green Mountain State, a tragic victim of a clerical error2. Ashli of New Orleans, who found SFH after looking for serious Tolkien literary analysis...and kept listening anyway.3. Chris of The Old Dominion, who claims a dubious connection with a so-called International Intellectual Institute. Topics include:- Clearing up reputations- Domestic intellectuality- Stumbling upon hobbits- Favorite segments of the show- Roasting Johnny- Hard-hitting questions like, Hello...Hello...is Johnny?- The meaning of life in one wordWant to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on weekly polls, get show updates, and judge Johnny's questionable memes.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch

Sean Tchackichickh, sender of multiple emails to the lads, joins the show today. Big question of the day: How are you supposed to refer to Gatorade flavors? The lads share a sweet melody. A listener shares additional thoughts on the old people conundrum. Sean sees his moment. Chris calls out government overreach in his bedroom. The guest, under fire for a LOTR typo, makes excuses. The guest, under fire for his last name, gives a history lesson. The guest under fire for not being offended, refuses to get offended. Around the Table calls back to some serious LOTR Bombadillo analysis.  The guest Pop Take may stupefy some big HP fans. DYHWITTBAI tests the guest on Zeus' seduction methods. Johnny refuses to let the show end without turning the spotlight on himself.

Special episode featuring Conor Brown, Disney World expert, travel agent, and host of the WDW Opinion Podcast. The polls are in and the anti-elderly league came out in full force. Conor's Pop Take strikes a resounding blow at a regal cultural icon. Conor is now in Witness Protection. In Around the Table, at what point do we have to press the off switch on robots?  Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual brings a rapid-fire onslaught and furious  counter-attack never before seen on the show. The lads conclude the show with an astonishingly thoughtful and informative Disney World Q&A. 

The lads pay homage to the red, white, and berries popsicles. Johnny, quite naturally, trashes the episode that did not include him. Over 80% of you supported Finn's "eat anything at any time" pop take from last week. The lads read a voluminous listener email. Chris hijacks Breaking News From Florida and gives a first-hand account of a curious incident at a convenience store. Pat doesn't like mushrooms. Johnny's Pop Take strikes hard and fast at the elderly community. Pat gives a lackluster showing in the first listener-requested quote for the LOTR Impersonation contest. Johnny's Corner explores alien diplomacy. Want to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Guest episode featuring Finn "same family as Chris from Ireland" Mehigan. Chris immediately says a wrong word. The lads explore the sugar argument from last episode in more detail. The conversation steers to the French. Chris refuses to accept the results of the Beloved poll. Finn gives an ancient language test. Finn's Pop Take brings sushi to the breakfast table. The Intellectual sends the guest to the gulag for his performance in Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual. 

Guest episode with Michael "Hiney" Heinssen.  Should Johnny be "The Beloved" instead of Chris? The lads engage in some baby talk and poetry reading. In Breaking News From Florida, the absence of letters drives a man to fury. Credit card offers validate Pat's existence. Guest, Mr. Hiney, is the first to bring sources to back up his dopamine-filled Pop Take. The lads bring back the age old classic of hating the French for no reason. Pat accidentally reveals a deep hatred of coma patients. Mr. Hiney lashes out at his courteous hosts for critiquing his heartfelt and generous Apple Podcasts review.  The lads delve into the uncomfortable feeling of listening to your own voice. After a brief foray into the world of cryptocurrency, The Intellectual tests Mr. Hiney's knowledge on The Crusades.Want to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Johnny has a clubfoot. The lads wonder what happened to the pandemic baking craze and debate the merits of a good loaf. Almost 1/3 of you guys apparently have heard of Stewart Cink. Johnny starts a listener war over Chic-fil-A sauce.  Listener, TheIanDen, redeems himself with an incisive review of Johnny's personality. Breaking News From Florida investigates the arrest of a skilled street gymnast. Pat gets offended and lashes out at babies.   The adventures of Johnny and Major Funkdu continue as the lads analyze another quote In the Trenches With Tolkien: "All's well that ends better." Another joke goes over Pat's head. Want to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Johnny undergoes therapy. Pat can't say caramel. Johnny is responsible and drinks ginger ale. The lads have started gambling; they also know a thing or two about The Bible. Breaking News From Florida sees...surprise, surprise...yet another altercation at a fast food joint. Chris comes to the table with theories of the Beyond. Johnny has a thought about the multiverse that would be idiotic in every single universe. The lads go Into the Trenches With Tolkien to explore the evil of tears and roast Pat for the way he speaks. Want to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Reminder to submit a written review to Apple Podcasts and share the show with your friends! The lads rehash Sully's Pop Takes from the previous week. Johnny has a bubble in his throat. Do you know who Stewart Cink is? Breaking News From Florida sees an esteemed artist scissor kick a polite tourist. Johnny's Pop Take strikes out at the Chic-fil-a old guard. Chris, of course, goes on a rant. Around the Table explores the oddity of Zoom meetings even though you can see the people you are meeting with through your window. Naturally, windows become a hot topic. Chris has a romantic encounter with a window washer. Pat has a panicked encounter with a painter. Johnny has concerns about teeth temperature. The LOTR Impersonation contest does not stop until nightfall. Chris finds himself in Zodiac memery.Want to support the show?Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Guest episode featuring comedian, Peter Sullivan. Peter Sullivan is a stand-up comedian and comedy writer who has performed at several prestigious venues throughout the US. and has written for several famous comedians. Check out Sully's socials:Instagram: @psullivan27TikTok: @psullivan27Twitter: @_ImSullyYoutube: Peter Sullivan--Sully delves into the employment plight of the modern comedian. Bullies become the bullied in Art School. The lads re-investigate Bully School: the Harvard of comedy schools designed to make people funny through targeted harassment. Sully examines the anthropological roots of comedy. Chris gets only one other person to agree with him on his previous Pop Take.  The listeners overturn Chris' LOTR Impersonation ruling for the first time ever. Backyard zoos and lascivious leopards are the name of the game in Breaking News From Florida. Sully recounts a tale of another Florida mauling, this one much more disturbing.  In his Pop Take, Sully brings a unique perspective on toxic masculinity. Oh, and influencers don't deserve rights. The lads lament how dumb people are always the loudest on social media. Johnny has a thought; Johnny is cancelled. Sully's knowledge of philosophy is tested in Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual? The lads conclude with a pair of hypotheticals involving death by carnivore. --Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Chris screams Pat's name in a loud little-boy voice. Does organic alcohol make you feel better in the morning? Pat reminisces about The Mighty Ducks and muses about the pain of nostalgia. Johnny could not care less about his childhood, except for one simple thing that he could easily recapture.  Johnny's army of Virginians attack Maryland in a questionable Pop Take poll that garnered over 80% of vote.  Breaking News From Florida walks us through the story of a man, his magnet, and a potentially explosive visit to Taco Bell. A true comeback story for Taco Bell. Johnny drops a bomb about a nuclear bomb.  Chris is deluded by one decent item at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Johnny's Corner introduces some phonetic exercises.  Pat keeps Chris on his toes with an unexpected LOTR Impersonation quote.  The lads conclude with some Space Jam talk. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

This week the lads start by viciously attacking cyclists. Breaking News From Florida brings tales of urinals and streaking through forests. Johnny's Pop Take harshly criticizes people from Maryland, something both Pat and Chris can get behind. This podcast was sponsored by Coffee. In the trenches with Tolkein brings up the rear where the lads determine what the most awkward Wednesday probably looked like. Oh and Chris can't speak... again.

Are you a potato?

This week the lads are joined by the esteemed Betsy "Barthelona"! 

Let the trumpets blare and the bugles bugle. Let the minstrels go forth and sing the good news: His Lordship hath returned. Wedding stories are hinted at but not told. Previous Pop Takes are analyzed. Chris has issues with vanity. Johnny and Pat are axeholes. Johnny brings a royal family rant of the day to the table. Chris is the media. The lads bar pancakes from every being brought up again. Another guest Pop Take regarding food starts a vicious argument about principles of delectability and culinary convictions. Chris and Johnny get extremely defensive and resort to ad hominem attacks. His Lordship engages in some tree talk with Chris in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. JP entertains Johnny's Corner. Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual tests His Lordship on Irish literature and folklore. Make sure to follow the lads on Instagram to cast your vote on the Pop Take of the week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stupid-fat-hobbits/id1484916483Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

This one is big on sea mammalians. Starfish selling clam pearls, the last march of the sea turtles, the birthing rates of sea horses, unicorns with unihorns, formal giraffes, and monogamous wolves. Chris continues the time-honored tradition of cracking jokes that don't make sense. Breaking News From Florida continues the animal theme with a massive blow to the prestigious and elderly iguana community. Johnny exploits a tragic death just to make a pun. Chris brings forth his Pop Take about the show, Community, and continues to make references to the show, ironically challenging any sense of community this episode tried to instill. Perhaps sensing this, Chris lashes out with some long-held resentments and takes over Johnny's Corner. In the Trenches w/Tolken establishes that one of his most famous lines actually refers to a battalion of troops wandering a foreign land with the intent to murder. They may or may not be lost in the sauce.Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

Longer guest episode ft. Downtown Willie Brown. Nut milk and tree milk. Maple. Sean Astin. Stranger Things. Willie sits on the floor and doesn't like it. Napoleon Dynamite. Willie lays down a threat. Pat ruins everything. Previous Instagram polls are discussed. After an official recount, Chris officially ekes by in the previous LOTR Impersonation Contest with two mail-in ballots coming after the deadline. Willie puts his hair in a bun. Willie and Pat continue to trade punches. Willie brings an around the table that is quite literally, a lie. Chris, in a very inhospitable manner, submits his own question. Willie turns the tables. Willie's second ATT attempt inspires Spiderman comparisons. Chris has a delusional teenage-romance-novel fantasy about Emma Watson that is loosely based on a real life spotting of Emma Watson at Heathrow. Johnny's Corner features bedroom humor. Willie invents the "bed-floor." Willie's Pop Takes: Pancakes are a shit breakfast food. And Ryan Reynolds is the only funny person who wouldn't get any funnier if he got fat. To conclude, Willie is tested on his knowledge of the rules of the road - a curious and questionable verdict occurs. Willie would let Pat get run over by train.Want to hear the original french toast debate? It's way back in S1E4.Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merchLeave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

Chris speaks to himself in the night. Johnny has another depressing story concerning food. Pat makes a decent pun. Chris does a post-presidential Trump impression. Johnny gets crowned. Pat becomes half-king. Johnny's expert journalism highlights flapjacks and threats to Obama's life. Chris doesn't know things. Johnny thinks a movie starring a frog is a top-tier movie. Things get chippy. The show ends on a sorrowful note as Pat faces off with Chris in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Make sure to follow the lads on Instagram to cast your vote on the Pop Take of the week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.

Best recipe for a good episode: Start out with a little testy, reach into the DM's, and end with a listener sea shanty. Chris pronounces Borat like a buffoon. A listener-submitted Breaking News From Florida delves into the world of police dispatchers, rogue 911 calls, and remarkably accurate tattoos. Pat comes out swinging with a British bowlcut Pop Take; Chris refuses to let it be. He becomes so furious he starts shaking. A long winding road of vigorous debate ensues. In the Trenches with Tolkien starts with a dangerous night mission to capture (or save?) Major Funkdu. The lads then set forth to explore love, memories, and JK Rowling's theft. Johnny gets scared in his corner. Pat can't say multiplicative. Johnny throws down his gauntlet to challenge "His Worthiness," as Chris has dubbed himself, in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Finally, a real challenge.Liked the song in the outro? Check out Andrew Kolesar's channel here.Questions, comments, ideas?SFH Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/SFH Email: sfh_podcasts@gmail.com

The beacons have been lit. The lads are back with new life and new segments. The more things change the more they stay the same. The lads introduce their first new segment, Pop Takes, where someone brings up a hot take in pop culture - cue rabid infighting. It's the pitts. As Chris says, the proof will be in the pudding, so let's save the pudding for dessert. Oh what's that? Another new segment. Yeah that's right. This one is dubbed In the Trenches with Tolkien and brings forth original and brilliant analysis of Tolkien's work. We read between the lines to go beyond the lines and behind enemy lines. We get dirty so you don't have to. Let's just say that hobbits may be more powerful than you think. Johnny has a thought. After a quick word from not-a-sponsor, the controversial LOTR Impersonation Contest returns with some interesting tweaks.

And that's a wrap! Thank you all so much for listening and being a part of this community! We truly do appreciate each and every one of you. If you want to be eligible for a chance at some SFH goodies, we ask that you do the following two things by October 30: 1) Fill out our Season 2 survey here or in our Instagram bio so we can make the show more entertaining: https://forms.gle/VNDsCagwC54FMKpH62) Write us a review on Apple Podcasts! Not only does this help us in the long run, but we will definitely read these on the show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stupid-fat-hobbits/id1484916483.Callers today: Mateo Wolfe, our official Florida correspondent and Carole Baskin reconnaisseur; Michael Heinssen, a man with a nice posterior who abhors ice cream trucks but loves politicians with good ideas; Theresa DeCelle, who wants to singlehandedly eradicate the cutest animal species on earth; and finally, the esteemed writer, Tom Longano who explores the wonders of democracy, the lost story of Jay Cutler, and in his own words has "two million boys following him...young boys, old boys, middle boys, all the boys." You can purchase his new book here, The Red Book of Stories, here: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Book-Stories-Boy/dp/1735945005 or listen to his audiobook podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/boy-stories/id1531498804.

After a long day of technical difficulties, the lads rose like a collective Phoenix from the ashes and were able to record the first part of the finale...without Johnny. He's not a Phoenix, he's more like an arthritic pigeon. Please fill out our survey in our Instagram bio to make Season 3 amazing: https://forms.gle/BMpaVvZ5wP39rkQD6And write a review on Apple Podcasts if you'd like us to read it on the show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stupid-fat-hobbits/id1484916483And finally, and an end of season bonus - all of the items in our merch store are on sale: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch. Alright, got that capitalist B.S. out of the way. Our first caller is affectionately known as Ting-Ting, The Red-Headed Mexican. He wonders about the roots of The Intellectual and analyzes a matchup of ethereal tenor and wooden splendor. Our second caller, The Family Man Who Rules Many Realms, rolls in with both insight and insult. He must decide a matchup between a large American man and a legion of hick Toyotas. He also analyzes the massive election coming up in November. Our third and final caller is a self-proclaimed "player" who "does music." He brings forth a classic LOTR Ghost/One-Date/Marry scenario. He determines the bracket matchup between a community man of many talents and some guy on YouTube. This podcast is NOT sponsored by White Claw.

This week the Lads are celebrating the first two seasons of the show with a montage of some of their favorite podcast outros! Whether it's petty insults, bad puns, or the countless songs that are sung, this episode has it all. Join us for a look back at our first two seasons!

The lads agree to not insult one another for the entirety of the episode. Naturally, they poke and prod and test the line. Pat describes his close call with a raccoon...and also his close call with a shark in the same week. Johnny and Pat expound on dolphin culture. Breaking News From Florida questions the morality, legality, and economic impact of dwarf-throwing. Pat interrupts Around the Table to figure out which host is "The Beloved."The Two ATT questions for the day: 1) What's the worst buy one, get one free deal? 2) What sport would be best where the players have to follow a mandatory minimum alcohol level? The final LOTR Impersonation Contest of Season 2 is a little more competitive than usual. Quotes include a troubled man, a man racist against dwarves, and a dying orc.

The lads discuss the stupid trope in movies and books where characters are reminded they are forgetting something but they can't figure out what they've forgot. Mikey "Doctor" Temple's name is thrown around far too often. Bombshell: The lads like sports. They have mascaraded as full-blown nerds for far too long. The Intellectual explains how research is different from research. If you have yet to see the scrub hits 50yd fg video, here you go: https://youtu.be/7SL2SWR3o2k. Chris reads listener answers to "what's the funniest thing David Attenborough could narrate?" More polls are promised, more polls forgotten. Pat uncovers some very old marketing plugs he wrote. Johnny goes to his corner and delivers a depressing sentiment about parenthood and childhood. In Around The Table, Chris pits Ritz and Club crackers against each other. Johnny thinks bacon and crack affect the brain in the same way. Tomato soup is a polarizing food product. Pat both likes it and dislikes it. The lads finish off with a toddler-like enthusiasm for word association. Think Nicholas Cage, sorority girls, and light bulbs.

Pat believes he was part of the UVA basketball team. The delusions of the Intellectual continue. Chris describes his old bouncing days. Chris makes a pun that Johnny approves. The lads go into the age-old USPS-Jackson Hole conspiracy. Chris is too scared to watch Stranger Things. Johnny and Chris go off on a tangent about another podcast they have done while Pat stews. Pat brings the first question in Around the Table: what happens if the lads all go in for the same job interview at the same time? The lads consider taking their talents to Pizza Hut. Carole Baskin and Kazoo Kid take center stage. Pat strategizes how to get into Chris and Johnny's Disney+ account. The lads discuss discuss the social dynamic of hearing other people's thoughts and whether it would drive you to an early grave. The lads discuss David Attenborough narrating people's lives and discover that Chris also possesses this skill. They end the show by reading your thoughts on the pumpkin spice latte. Make sure to listen through the outro: David Attenborough narrates a basic white girl.

The lads are back together and dropping some serious shade out of the gate! Pat decides to begin the show by insulting his colleagues with ancient Shakespearean insults. Chris then relives his embarrassing Cap Of Mishap challenge where he drags himself through the sand, all for the sake of comedy and "growth". Around the table then entails Pat posing the age-old question: are pumpkin spice lattes ruining fall, and are the stereotypes about the people who drink them fair? Chris goes on a rant. Shocker. Johnny simply doesn't like them and accuses Chris of secretly adoring the drink. Johnny then decides he wants to check on his corner and accidentally drops the soap. The lads then put Chris to the test once more in Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Intellectual. This time, Chris earns a very... unique title. To end the show, Chris forces Johnny and Pat into another LOTR Impersonation Contest where many a laugh are had, and many poor impersonations are performed. Listen to find out who is victorious!

Well, this was unexpected. Pat shows his commitment by joining the show from the cramped quarters of a closet in Myrtle Beach. Warning: sound quality is a little less crispy due to Pat's toy microphone. In Breaking News From Florida, a wannabe cowboy frolics in the forest and gets the best of himself. His brain addled by the heat and Harry Potter-like studio, Pat struggles to pronounce basic words, continues to make unoriginal jokes, and forgets to begin segments. The lads choose which animal they would most like to be. Koalas are a hot topic. Chris thinks Ostriches can run 200 miles per hour. Chris also cannot stop talking about roadrunners. Trending Celebs in Shelob's Web sees Juan Soto, Tony Hawk, and Taco Bell put in their rightful homes in Middle-Earth. Johnny says "what?" a lot. Johnny's Corner is. It just is. One wonders if it ever was or will be.

This one starts out hot. Chris calls himself Daddy. The lads discuss whether their episodes should be scripted. Banter time ventures into both weathering and wuthering heights, Pat's new attitude, and more. Breaking News From Florida involves a couple that finally comes out of the closet at a drug-infused Seaology Convention. The lads discuss whether they could do the news segment for another state. In Around the Table, Pat decries our culture of materialism while wearing a whole wardrobe of new clothes. Johnny and Chris aren't having it. Pat invents a new phrase: "Don't throw out the pumpkin with the pie." Chris and Johnny discover that Pat is wearing a glucose monitor. Diabetes takes center stage. Johnny has a wormy thought about palindromes. Things are said. Things are said again. What's ruder? Calling someone stupid, dumb, or dense. Johnny was a dunce once. The lads end the show with a Tolkien Segment - Who wins in a battle royale of only hobbits? This quickly turns into an idea for a real-life battle royale between listeners. It will be filmed. Ale will be provided. Let us know if you're interested and we'll plan a date that will work, taking into account the whole pandemic thing.

Johnny has a bad day. A sad day. A soggy sandwich kinda day. Pat tries to help him fix his bleak attitude - this backfires. Breaking News From Florida makes absolutely no sense. It involves narcotics, a hungry man, Coldplay lyrics, family blackmail, pizza, and Nazis. Pat and Chris lead a tangent concerning the famous rapper, Juicebox. Johnny is not enthused. Pat reminisces about an old Welch's commercial. Laughter and joy are plentiful, so Johnny has to be a buzzkill and being up his soggy sandwich again. Chris brazenly challenges The Intellectual on the definition of ontology and takes him down a peg - really, everyone takes the L on this one. Chris confesses to loving High School Musical in Around the Table. After initially holding back his criticism with much applaum, Johnny launches at Chris like Sauron after Helm's Deep: his retribution swift, his wrath terrible, his verbal assault as powerful as an AC-130 Gunship. Johnny's Corner actually brings up a good point about doctors. Pat brings up a crucial LOTR question regarding the Tolkien Legendarium: Which character would you take home as a pet? Enraged and insecure about Chris' upcoming vacation, Pat and Johnny utilize The Cap of Mishap to make Chris' beach experience just a bit more memorable.

The lads begin with a killer segment: taxes. Please send your legal questions to sfhpodcasts@gmail.com. The lads continue to discuss The Internal Revenue Service despite repeated attempts to steer the conversation away. Johnny jumps in with a fire Breaking News From Florida. This one involves a Taco Bell, a tasty form of identity, and well, fire. Chris makes a bad pun and recovers his dignity by using the "shotpun" approach. Johnny is still learning how to read aloud. Once again, the lads try and figure out how cars work. Trending Celebs is back with a bit of a twist. This weeks celebrities: Jay Cutler, Disneyworld, and McMuffin. Johnny has a thought about waiters. Chris tries to have a thought. The LOTR Impersonation Contest has a battle cry, some murderous crunchable words, and some elderly gasps. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @sfh_podcast.

Johnny and Pat declare their independence from Chris and host the show. Pat hasn't seen Hot Rod. Chris demonstrates his manipulative hosting power. Johnny's Corner is just about what you'd expect it to be. Pat, overwhelmed by the moment, reads CNN. The host and the other host ask the ex-host to bring an Around the Table...to the table. Alexa talks about snails. Alexa is dumb and useless. The lads bash Alexa. Pat, as senior co-host, begins a round of questioning about every-day trinkets and thinks taken for granted in order to foster debate and deep thought in a continuous and swirling Around the Table. Why are bathrobes a thing? How was the beanbag chair invented? What's the point of bobbleheads? Chris denies that he doesn't dream of Max Scherzer so aggressively that there can be no doubt he does indeed have fraternations with the bobblehead in the night. Onward. Is drinking diet soda the equivalent of going to the gym, taking an insta selfie, and leaving? Is going to the movies by yourself weird? Johnny reveals that he is far too insecure to do anything by himself. Chris straps bobbleheads into movie theater seatbelts. Pat likes watching movies about tanners. In a very odd turn of events, Chris drones on about King Tut and his supposed love of history. Johnny, not to be undone, takes the convo to Aztec rituals. In a not so odd turn of events, Chris admits that his knowledge of history is informed by National Treasure. Johnny makes a joke about nothing; nothing was funny. The lads discuss the various strategies of handling a bully. Johnny and Pat will be opening "Bully School: A School for Future Comedians." The lads end the show as they always do, bickering about titles and power, responsibilities and privileges, hosts and no-hosts, the insidious nature of social media, the challenges every republic faces, the art of war, the beauty of selfless love, the failing of the once strong bonds of fellowship, the fickleness of the mob, the wonder of finding the untrodden path, the fulfillment in the search for meaning, and the penchant for vice despite knowing deep down the road to happiness is found in virtue.

T-shirt promo ends today. Code is Shadowfax. This one"s short and sweet. The lads take calls during the show. Pat gets a hole-in-one. A man in Florida attempts to have romantic relations with the entire police force...and wins his case. Around the Table explores the ubiquitous issue of the "middle-seat." Many callers weigh in on the problem. Offended by the goading of a bold caller from Swaziland, Pat challenges the cocky upstart to run the gauntlet of "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" Johnny concludes the episode with a thought. Harry Potter. Wingardium Leviosa. Latin. Just saying related words at this point. Slainte.

The lads begin as they always do, by complaining about stuff. Johnny and Pat form a quick alliance against Chris who has never seen a certain movie that tickles Johnny and Pat's fancy. Review the Review leads the lads down a path of wonderment, as they speculate the age of their listeners and fall into a rant about the Holy Roman Empire. Pat then sabotages Breaking News From Florida and takes us into Europe where a foul deed was committed that broke multiple public decency laws and may have violated the Geneva Convention. Chris claims mashed potatoes are the best form of potato. Johnny and Pat obviously disagree, advocating for more simple variations that uphold the integrity of the food. Finally, the LOTR Impersonation Contest makes a roaring comeback as the victor ends up being the most unlikely creature imaginable. Can you guess who won? If you do, you win a free T-shirt (not). God save the queen.

T-shirt promo code in the episode. After a brief and unexplained hiatus, the lads return to determine which baked goods they are. The incomparable Gran Phyllis and her granddaughter read their reviews. Trending Celebs in Shelob's Web brings Donald Glover, Chris Evan's, and NASCAR to Middle-Earth. In Around the Table, Pat throws some sauce into the mix and a long, semi-fruitful, and possibly pointless debate ensues.

The Spaniard joins us for a second time. Chris says lol. Another "welcome" debacle ensues. The lads immediately put Johnny on the defensive concerning his poor life choices. Betsy gives her last words. Johnny once again tries to take credit for something he did not actually do. For Review the Review, Pat reads a hand-written letter that listener Anthony Clements mailed to the studio. Another listener, Chris Beatty, unexpectedly calls into the show and demands a LOTR impersonation. In Breaking News From Florida, a chicken named Huhn is booted for acting the cock. Betsy brings her own segment to the table, "What Does This Word Mean?" to test the lads on their slang knowledge. And finally, Pat picks out of the Cap of Mishap for the first time.

Hear ye! Hear ye! Get you t-shirts at the new merch store: teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch. The lads stumble out of the gate over podcast etiquette: Who welcomes who? And how many times? Chris is a greedy miser and talks about selling t-shirts for way too long. The lads read an excellent review from a borderless baker named Michael L, also known as Schmeichel Schmeichel. If you'd like to help the lads out AND be featured on the podcast, feel free to write a review in the Apple Podcasts app! If you'd like to help the show out even more, let us know what our podcast motto/subtitle should be. Anyway, Around the Table returns with OCD arguments and bathroom spray. Pat switches toilet paper in the night. Chris suddenly demands to be tested by the intellectual, and then lashes out after a poor showing with "nerd" accusations. Clearly, he's never looked in the mirror. He also does not know the difference between a famous American general and a below-average boomer dessert. The lads canter on down to a remodeled Johnny's corner; it certainly has not become less strange. In LOTR Impersonations, Pat has the voice of a great king and Johnny, the voice of a senile wizard and a dwarf who's had a few too many pints. A Knight's tale and Batman are confused. Chris refused to do his Cap of Mishap challenge last week, so Johnny and Pat punish him with a two-for-one.Get in touch with us! Email: sfhpodcasts@gmail.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sfh_podcastTik Tok: stupid_fat_hobbits

This one starts out with some baseless accusations concerning lottery tickets. The lads explore the intricacies of the vegetable world. Chris does not seem to understand what squash is. Obviously, this leads to the question of whether chestnuts would be better roasted on a closed fire. Breaking News explores the dangers of baking cookies while naked. Trending Celebs sees an Office-heavy crew, with vigorous debates over John Krasinski's true essence, a simple solution for Steve Carell, and an anti-climactic end with supposed Tik-Tok star Trey Kennedy. LOTR Impersonation comes in with a guttural trill and goes out with a disturbing high-pitched effort. No one listens to what Pat says. Chris is very proud of his child-size brass-knuckled comb. The Cap of Mishap Challenge for Chris this week: Read a book and write/present a book report for Pat and Johnny to grade. Get in touch with us! Email: sfhpodcasts@gmail.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sfh_podcastTik Tok: stupid_fat_hobbits

Season 2 is nigh. The lads are back with their undeserved second chance and begin by exploring how Twitter was created. Johnny talks about whiskey. Shocker. Listen at 11:44 to hear Pat turn into a dying monster. Review the Review comes back to thunderous applause as Robert of Virginia lavishes Johnny with false praise and flatteries. Breaking News From Florida involves alcohol (of course), a black widow, and an invisible pig. The segment devolves into wildly inaccurate discussions of insects and other such creatures. Johnny thinks Alzheimers is called All-Timers. The lads introduce a new segment: Trending Celebs in Shelob's Web in which they find a fitting home for said celebs in Middle-Earth. Today, they find homes for Adele, Jerry Rice, and Willie Mays. Johnny thinks Hobbit culture is closely linked with that of Alabama. The critically acclaimed yet controversial LOTR Impersonation Contest is restored to its former glory. Johnny finds his inner method acting; it ends in utter chaos. To conclude the show, the lads bring forth another new segment: The Cap of Mishap (The lads try new things). Trust the cap. Be one with the cap, and you shall become a hero. Be sure to follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ to see the videos of each person fulfilling their Cap of Mishap challenge. Get in touch with us! Email: sfhpodcasts@gmail.comTwitter: @sfh_podcastTik Tok: stupid_fat_hobbits

The third and final part of the trilogy. The following guests join the show: Shaun "Blarshe" Pacious, Monica "Spends her parents' hard-earned money at 7-Eleven" Pacious; Ryan "Guest episode bombed" Bartels; and Josh "Ip Man" Clarke. We continue to ask the hard-hitting questions that the world has been clamoring for. As this 4-hour extravaganza comes to a close, we are utterly exhausted from talking to so many peasants for so long. If we can recover from this, join us May 1st for Season 2!

The 2nd installment in the three-part season finale, otherwise known as "The Johnny Gets Roasted Trilogy." Guests include long-time listener Chris Beatty; big corn fan Sarah Meehan; legendary bartender and breadman Michael Loria; Downtown-Hashbrownz Willie Brown, and...Billy Himpler, poop joke enthusiast.

It's the final episode of Season 1!! We decided to take live calls from our fans to end Season 1 with a bang which turned into a three and a half-hour extravaganza. An occasion of merriment and much gravitas. The gracious peasants who called in did not disappoint in the slightest and gave us many a chuckle. Due to the high demand to be on the show and our desire to take every call we received, we decided to break the finale up into 3 episodes all filled with the voices of the people insulting Johnny. We thoroughly enjoyed it. So sit back, relax and tune in to hear your fellow common man join the lads in the studio on the very anticipated and hoped for ending of Season 1.

This is the first sponsored episode and probably the last. The lads are beginning to lose it. In an attempt to stay fresh and provide variety, they turned to a free-form episode. No segments -- slam poetry, if you will. There are no rules in quarantine. Johnny gives an important historical anecdote concerning carrots. The lads discuss their various activities in quarantine, including Pat and Chris taking on Johnny in an epic chess match. The lads discuss the rise of Tiger King and create a new Carole Baskin segment. Carole Baskin killed her husband. Somehow, the lads wriggle into worm territory. Pat watches Good Will Hunting for the first time, which angers Chris, who is concerned about classic movie privilege. Carole Baskin killed her husband. Flubber and Alladin are pitted against each other in a battle of "classics." Chris and Johnny sing a pedantic and aggressive lullaby toward Pat to make him see the light. Johnny is an animal abuser. Johnny also wants to make smooth jazz. Johnny says vibe. Carole Baskin killed her husband. Chris explains what Rocket League is to the unsuspecting listener. Send us your movie submissions and funny quarantine videos if you so desire. Contact us here - Email: sfhpodcasts@gmail.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ Twitter: @sfh_podcast. Carole Baskin killed her husband.

In this week's episode, Johnny plays the victim almost immediately (as usual, what a loser). The lads again implore the audience for random content and lament the trials and tribulations of quarantine. Puns are afoot. The Intellectual names Johnny the captain of the ship and Chris, the helmsman (still scratching our heads on this). The podcast moves on to Johnny's Corner which explores the secrets of silent fighting. And in Imagine If, what the hell would drunk white girls sing at the end of the night if "Mr. Brightside" didn't exist? Oh, and Johnny hates soup. To end the episode, Pat absolutely eviscerates Johnny in "Guess the Quote". He's still licking his wounds from this beat down.

On our first quarantine show, pickles and sickles tickle the fickle nickel in an unbridled trickle. Johnny casts down all those who enjoy their steaks well-done. Does anyone know the difference between myoglobin and hemoglobin? Are puns the lowest form of comedy? Do you enjoy them? Meanwhile, Chris traverses the lonely road to insanity. On the cusp, Chris desperately clings to his idea of wisdom by giving a tomato "metaphor." Breaking News From Florida sees a limbless cutthroat rolling away from law enforcement. The lads explore the intricacies of the medical drama. Old jokes are brought to the fore. The lads scrutinize the work of the Progressive actor named Ashland? Jeremy? Jared? Who knows. Around the Table explores whether "living the 'tine" should be a phrase used in common parlance. Chris and Johnny are proud of their unclehood, and Pat, his stunclehood. Johnny explains the Bull Moose drinking tradition. The Intellectual makes a bold bet. Johnny denigrates the skiing skills of The Intellectual, which obviously leads the lads to review the greatest bagel shmears. The lads examine the three things Johnny and Pat most enjoy in their lives which leads to an examination of Pat and Chris living together in quarantine. Follow us on twitter https://twitter.com/sfh_podcast to watch Chris give a topical rendition of Red Is The Rose.

The lads begin this week's episode on a very polarizing topic: whose laugh is best? It's not Pat's. They then contemplate destroying the podcast altogether (literally destroying). Chris falls through clouds and apparently forces his co-workers to do Winnie the Pooh reenactments. The Intellectual then discovers he is wearing the same socks from episode 1, which reminds him to burn them ASAP. Chris doesn't sleep well. Johnny then rights the ship and takes us into Breaking News From Florida, where a man turns himself in for killing his imaginary friend, Happy. Johnny and Pat then gang up on Chris (per usual) and criticize his decision to vest vests. Chris defends his honor but loses in the end. Johnny is apparently obsessed with hangers. Johnny then continues his unprecedented guidance of the show and takes us into Johnny's corner where he speaks of dead Toy Story toys and weezerless Wheezys. Chris makes some terrible puns. The lads then cap off the show with a little Lord of The Rings Impersonation Contest, WITH A TWIST (clickbait). Mid-contest, a tangent ensues, however, and the lads try and determine where the LOTR's one F-bomb would have been if it had been used. In the end, cooler heads prevail, and the contest is finished...Try and guess who won.

A guest joins today's show. Her name? Betsy Reig. Her background? Spain. And boyfriends. And Miller Lite. The lads and lass (ladssies?) discuss the very topical Corona beer, which is obviously the catalyst of the virus. Various social interactions and alcohol preferences are discussed which you guys won't care about. Chris is put in his rightful place as usual. No one has any idea what To Kill a Mockingbird was about. The guest arrives ready to shred some gnar. Russia and Iran join the listener base. The crew explores Betsy's "Barthelonian" roots. Breaking News from Florida sees the courtroom heat up in more ways than one. Betsy's Guest Segment investigates the proper path for cutting out social media and brings about a cascade of creative ideas. Johnny's Corner leads us into open pastures and senseless slaughter. PSA: We do not hate vegans. Only Betsy does. Pat also somehow found the Sake version of Whiteclaw. In Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual, Pat and Chris challenge Betsy in a Grand Inquisition...Betsy threatens The Intellectual. Listen through the outro to hear the ultimate Spanish-American anthem.

A caller rudely interrupts the show. Do hobbits eat berries? The twitter contest winners are announced. Shout out to Cormac Goodwin for designing the first ever SFH t-shirt. Johnny pauses the show in a desperate gamble to retain his intellectuality from last episode. The Intellectual gives closing ceremony remarks. Johnny's Corner continues the theme of lies and deceit. Chris thinks Pinnochio takes place in Norway. Chris also thinks having a big nose gives you an advantage in soccer. Around the Table delves into the social fabric of artificial train communities. Imagine If takes us back to the time of Jefferson and smallpox.

Chris likes to stuff socks in his pants. The LOTR Impersonation contest sees Johnny give the worst Gollum impression of all time. Johnny's Corner gives rise to a rather brief but serious look into the failings of the Hobbit--The Intellectual seizes his moment. Chris finds another gem on Amazon concerning hairspray. Emboldened by his comedic discovery, Chris tries to take control of "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" Johnny takes a hop into the world of beer and attempts to accomplish the unthinkable. Follow us on all the tweetstagrams if you so desire.

Be sure to follow us on Twitter @sfh_podcast and listen in to hear the "rules" of our first twitter contest. Today, the lads come out firing immediately, starting with Pat being dissatisfied with his treatment on the show. Pat decries the preponderance of meme culture and meme plagiarism. Chris thinks comedy is knock-knock jocks and anti-jokes. Tempers flare and insults are cast. Chris is angry that The Intellectual has the humility to sit in a beach chair, thus revealing Chris' deep-"seated" insecurity. The lads determine that Psych is the most underrated comedy of all time. Chris officially starts the show 19 minutes in. "Breaking News from Florida" involves a man, his meth lab, his butt, and a perilous explosion. "Cage Match" returns with a study in laziness: couches vs comfy chairs. Pat interrupts the "Lord of the Rings Impersonation Contest" with the code phrase for the Twitter contest. The wizards cast The Intellectual into the abyss.Have a question, segment idea, or story you want to share?Email: sfhpodcasts@gmail.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/sfh_podcast